#my doctor is worried about my liver

[dissociative-degenerate]

I can't sleep cause I didn't drink much alcohol tonight. Which I guess it is good, but im the kind of person who needs minimum 11 hours of sleep to function. Like I need alcohol to sleep at this point. Ik it makes your quality of sleep shit, but i can't sleep without it.

Doctor gave me trazedone to help, but i hate it. It makes me feel like my eyes are going to pop. But that's the only one she feels comfortable perscribing because I've been on it before, and I don't have a psychiatrist anymore to give me something else :/

[reitziluz]

this september has been absolutely cursed so far. back to back misfortunes and setbacks.

the funniest one (or well, the one i can't help but laugh about) is how my new doc at the health center was gravely worried over my hemoglobin count. surely it is a sign my hrt dose is too high and all my organs are going to melt!

i have just recently graduated from the trans hrt specialty clinic after a long time of monitoring my hemoglobin and figuring out a dose that actually keeps me just above the lower threshold of the clinical range i'm aiming for. they figured my blood is just Like That as a genetic thing. the only time in my life i've had a hemoglobin count within the reference ranges is the few years when i ate mostly vegan and donated blood regularly. i was told by a school nurse at fifteen that i should donate blood when i turn 18 because my blood is so thick.

like it's p likely i was a bit dehydrated during that latest blood draw too. the doc needs to chill. there were much more worrying things in the results than the hemoglobin. stuff that's the actual reason i went to get the tests done.

but my blood being thick and rich like a luxurious vampire delicacy never fails to make me laugh

[blakistan]

hey did you know that apparently. unlike pretty much every other nutrient the body just. doesn't get rid of excess iron. yeah the only way to lose it faster than a basically nothing trickle is bleeding so it gets used to make new blood. and also. get this. apparently the amount of extra iron it takes to start Causing Problems is. not that much

[wasabikitcat]

As someone with chronic illness it's always confused me when people fear-monger about HRT by saying stuff like "It has a chance to cause [insert symptom here] as a side effect!" Like yeah man, that's kinda what medications do. They cause side effects, it's basically like a law of equivalent exchange thing. You discuss with your doctor your options and weigh whether the side effects are worth the benefit. I thought everyone knew this?

[lauryn-order]

I would just like everyone to know that I was super brave today 🥺

Also I’m not dying from liver failure like I’ve been worried about for months now since they said I need to get it checked because of my lab work.

[itsalwaysdark]

thank GODDD the doctor is taking time to work on himself maybe now he can stop ruining womens lives .

[smaidjor]

not counting the singular dentist xray, I've had a total of 3 xrays in my life and all of them were of my hands. radiologists love my sexy hand bone structure <33 just can't get enough of xraying them <333

[darkbluekies]

Silas & King Edmund drabbles: darling drinking to deal with the situation

Yandere!mafia & yandere!king

Warnings: alcoholism, wrong ways to fix addiction (edmund), yandere, throwing up, mentions of murder

Silas:

He's had enough of you drinking. Frankly enough, he's worried about your health. He has his men grab all of your bottles and dump them out in the sink.

"Don't do that!" you burst out and try to run over to stop them.

Silas grabs you before you have the time to reach them. He holds you still, grimacing slightly.

"Your breath stinks, little one", he scolds you. "This is for you, you should actually thank me."

"I need that to fucking deal with you!"

"Oh, really? Is that so?"

You start to cry. The only reason that you have been able to deal with being Silas's wife/husband have been by being blacked out. If not, you can't handle the knowledge that the one holding and kissing you is the same person who murders behind your back.

Silas hugs you and kisses the top of your head. He cups your cheeks.

"If you continue like this you're going to kill your fucking liver", he says. "I'm not going to let you do that. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

A sudden wave moves through you and before anyone has the time to react, you throw up on the kitchen floor. Silas hurries to hold you up and gestures for his men to bring a bucket and cleaning supplies. He gives the men who empties the bottles into the sink warning gazes and they turn their back to you quickly.

"This is only the beginning, Y/N", he says in your ear. "Tomorrow, you'll be so hungover ... and that will be enough punishment to keep you in your lane."

"I fucking hate you", you mutter.

"You can hate me all you want, but you still wear my ring around your finger, and you will always belong to me. You better accept it."

"Boss, should we send them to the hospital?" his second in command asks as you throw up in the bucket. "To make sure that they haven't gotten any alcohol poisoning?"

You throw up again.

"Fine", Silas says. "You hear that, Y/N? You'll go to the doctor. Better lay off the alcohol and pick up some apples."

King Edmund:

He doesn't mind it at first, because you're kept where he wants you, in your bedroom ... but after a while he notices that when he wants to be with you, you barely respond coherently and you've lost the spark he loves.

He holds your wobbly head in his hands and scoffs.

"That's it", he says firmly and turns to his guards. "Destroy every snigle bottle of wine in the kingdom. Every, single bottle. We will have a total abstinence of alcohol."

"That's bullshit", you mutter.

"Language!"

You glare at him and pull your head out of his hands, tripping on yourself. Edmund cocks an eyebrow at you.

"Don't give me that look", he says. "You brought this upon yourself, Y/N. I'm doing this for you."

"No, you're doing this for yourself, because you don't like me when I'm drunk", you spit at him. "You don't care about my feelings and why I feel like drowning myself in your wine."

Edmund rolls his eyes. "You're not only drunk, you're wasted. You can't handle any type of conversation, you can barely eat properly and you're not the one I like to spend time with. People will talk. This is not how you should behave."

You sigh. You can't remember the last time you've been sober, and you're not sure that you want to be. Not with Edmund.

"To make sure that you sober up completely and won't be able to get any more alcohol", Edmund starts, "you will spend the night in the dungeon with a whole lot of water."

"No, not the dungeon", you beg drunkenly. "I hate that place. I hate the rats, and the moldy walls, and the screams, and-"

"I don't care. You need to be away from the wine."

When you start craving for alcohol tomorrow in the dungeon, you're afraid of what you'll do. The abstinence will be worse if you're down there.

"Start walking", Edmund says and gives you a push. "I'll get rid of this addiction once and for all."

You wobble.

"Fucking- ... do I need to carry you?" he mutters before throwing you over his shoulder. "I need to do everything myself around here, for fucks sake."

Quite ironic while being the king and having a castle full of servants.

[ms-demeanor]

IDK that I've ever put it in one post before, but here's the transplant speedrun.

1 - Valentines day 2021, he's admitted to the hospital. We take a pre-hospital selfie then I shave his head and he shaves his beard because he doesn't want to deal with hair at the hospital. Me and his mom drop him off; at that point you can only visit someone as they are actually dying and we're told that he's going to stay in the hospital until he gets a transplant or he dies, and if he's rejected as a transplant recipient he'll receive palliative care in this hospital.

2 - First week of March, they allow patients to have one screened visitor; this is our first visit - I take photos in the hospital to show his mom because at this point he has a pump in his shoulder and it is difficult for him to move his arms to use his phone. He has also been confined to a bed since the week he arrived because he's on the ECMO machine, so he can't walk or move around, though they stand him up every once in a while. At one point one of the ecmo tubes pulls out of his femoral artery, which is Not! Great! He also needed a blood transfusion about every two days at that point, which worried the doctors because it increased his likelihood of rejecting. But he had been approved for transplant at that point!

The first thing he said to me on this visit was "look, I have abs" and then he showed me his abs because it turns out when you're really really dying of heart failure your body begins to eat itself.

3 - Now That's What I Call Jaundice (cardiac cirrhosis is liver failure as a result of heart failure and it's pretty much the big giant neon flashing sign of heart failure that says "hey you're fucking dying" so if you've got heart failure and your bilirubin number is off or the whites of your eyes are yellow please kick up a gigantic stink until they check your liver; large bastard's GP, who is my doctor, who I hate, saw his bloodwork with a very high bilirubin number a month before he was diagnosed with cardiac cirrhosis and wrote it off as a testing fluke fuck that guy)

4 - Don't let the sad face fool you, he's acting pathetic so that his mom will stop yelling about the fact that I'm bringing him cookies. He's allowed to have cookies. At that point he weighed 98kg and was outsourcing his heartbeat, he was allowed to eat whatever he wanted. (have i mentioned that I was moving us from Vegas to LA at this time? I was bringing him cookies because I'd baked hundreds of peanut butter cookies and other cookies to use up the flour, sugar, and peanut butter in the vegas house)

5 - Mid-march, he's got a match! He called me when I was in Vegas filling up the truck with another load and I drove right back and to the hospital. Once he went in for surgery I drove to his mom's house and crashed, then woke up and drove to our storage unit and unpacked the truck while I waited to hear from the doctors. I was unloading a bookcase when I got the call. (There wasn't any point in waiting alone in the hospital for sixteen hours; either he was going to make it or he wasn't and someone was going to have to unload the truck at some point. People have been weird about this, like I should have been sitting at his side all the time, but there was a two-hour daily limit for most visits and look i have sat in a waiting room while this dude had a thirteen hour surgery i do not need a repeat of that experience without the soothing balm of nicotine getting me through it; so unloading a truck it was)

6 - Two days after surgery and kind of mad about it. His chest hurt a lot (obviously) but, like, a lot a lot because they'd had to open him up for the bypass just two years earlier.

7 - First walk outside of his room after transplant in early April; he needed a LOT of PT because of how much muscle he'd lost. He lost sixty pounds in the hospital before the surgery, and only gained back about twenty while he was in there.

8 - A visit from the tiny doggo

9 - I come to visit and I've got a new phone with a portrait mode so he steals it and takes stupid pictures for a few minutes. Dude is bored and restless; this is in late april and he's feeling well enough to be moody. ETA: There is a jar of pickles in front of him because he'd been fluid limited for a long time and his salt levels were off and when he got to the hospital they were like "you need electrolytes and a lot of salt" and he was like "sweetheart can you please please please bring me delicious salty things" so I was bringing him jars of pickled mushrooms and garlic stuffed olives and just a huge number of pickles that he kept trying to share with the nurses. "Alli brought the mushrooms again; would you like a pickled mushroom? I have fancy toothpicks to share them with!"

10 - He comes home for the first time in early May; he ends up getting readmitted two more times because of complications before finally being released in early July. ETA: The second time he got readmitted it was for something that he wasn't at all worried about but that they needed to monitor for a couple weeks so he was *SO BORED* and actually feeling pretty okay; so at one point when I was leaving the parking garage at 8pm my car wouldn't start, I did some troubleshooting with the manual and the internet and didn't figure it out, so I called him and he tried to troubleshoot over the phone and got frustrated and was begging his nurses to let him come out to the parking structure to work on my car (they refused) - I ended up getting a tow and fixing it when I replaced the battery terminals.

Photos are all posted with his permission.

Also I dyed my hair purple between photos one and two because it's his favorite color. I also bought a blue dress, red tights, and yellow shoes to wear to visit him because he always teases me for wearing so much black.

I just love him a lot. It was a hard couple years there, but things are getting better.

[genderqueerdykes]

hello, I'm transguy who's on diy T for two months because transitioning banned in my country, I wanted to ask what blood analysis I should do for my first check up(next month) to know that I'm not in danger? sending love

hello, thank you for taking the time to send this ask, i appreciate it. this is something i need to be educated on as well, so i'm going to try to ask the community for help for you as much as i can

i would say be careful. we do want you to get bloodwork to make sure that your blood pressure is okay, your liver enzymes, your red blood cell count, making sure your levels aren't too high or too low. i do worry that asking for a test may alert them to your situation and potentially out you as trans to them. however, what i would say in your situation is to tell them you have naturally high testosterone and avoid the HRT question for now. you need the care

asking for anon, please help if you live in a country where transition is illegal and you are DIYing transition with hormones:

how do you think its safest to go about asking for tests that cover these specific areas? hrt affects very specific parts of the body and our various systems. we need to make sure that there is a focus on your red blood cell count, your blood pressure, your liver enyzmes, your estrogen levels as well (they may be too high). is there a way to ask for this test that doesn't mention hormone levels?

we want to ensure your safety. i don't know if it's illegal for doctors to out you for these kinds of things. push comes to shove you can ask for certain tests if you tell a gynecologist or other doctor that you feel like something is wrong with your hormone levels, or that youre having issues with certain things like facial hair, fucked up menstrual cycles, and so on. i'm not sure how safe it would be to outright ask for the test but we also want to ensure your safety. i'd love to get feedback from people who live in countries where it is illegal to transition but have done so anyway. i want you to be safe

please let us know if you can give anon help. we really want to learn about this. i can only speak from my experience because i live in america in a state where it is legal to do so. there are states in the US where it isn't legal to transition, so if any of you have experience with this please let us know as well. there are unfortunately many places in the world where transition the healthiest way isn't accessible.

please feel free to send asks if you have information on this. for now, take care anon, stay safe. you are more than welcome to ask any more questions you may have

[doctorbitchcrxft]

In My Time of Dying | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual ?)

Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, hospitals and death and fun stuff like that

Word Count: 2997

A/N: Surprise! It's time for season 2! And as an extra treat, I'm gonna publish episode 2 with this one since it's a little short. Happy reading!! Thank you guys for all the love and support!

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You were completely pinned down beneath the side of the car that had been pushed into your lap in the accident. You clung to Dean still, afraid to move your upper-half and unable to move your bottom. You listened to the slowing rhythm of his heartbeat and willed him to stay alive for you.

Your eyes opened at the sound of Sam groaning.

“Sam!” you exclaimed. 

He groaned again, moving his head a little to the direction of the sound of your voice. “(Y/N)?”

Suddenly, the hinges were ripped off the driver’s side door to reveal the demon-possessed driver of the eighteen-wheeler that had struck the Impala.

“Back. Or I'll kill you, I swear to god,” Sam stated firmly.

“You won't. You're saving that bullet for someone else.”

Sam cocked the Colt. “You wanna bet?”

You looked on in fear before the demon poured out of the man, and he collapsed to the ground. You heard the sound of the gun uncocking, and Sam dropped his head back in relief.

“Oh my god!” you heard the trucker’s voice say. “Did I do this?”

“Dean, come on,” you whined. “Please.”

Sam called his brother’s name and told the trucker to call 911. He did so despite his panic. After what felt like forever, emergency services were to you. The EMTs had to pry you off of Dean, and you wailed in agony as they moved your sore body away from him. “No, please! I have to stay with him!”

“Ma’am, don’t fight us, please. We don’t want to hurt you more,” the EMT strapping you into a stretcher and neck brace said. She began to shout your blood pressure and vitals to the uniformed people surrounding you as you called out to Dean again. “Please! Just tell me he’s okay!”

No one would answer you.

“Is he even alive?!”

***

As soon as the doctors told you you could go see Dean, you leapt out of the bed as well as you could on your throbbing leg and bruised rib cage. Thankfully, that was as serious as your injuries got. You had no idea what the Winchesters’ situations were. 

You limped down the hallway to Dean’s room just down the hall from yours and took a sharp breath in horror. Wires were hooked up to every part of him. He was intubated, and machines steadily beeped around him. His chest was exposed with electrodes hooked up to it. His forehead had a deep cut running down the center of it, and his body remained lifeless. You tentatively walked over to his bedside and sat in the empty chair next to it. You held his hand tightly and kissed it repeatedly. “Dean, you have to come back to me, please.” Tears streamed down your face.

Sam walked in the room just after you did, giving you his puppy dog eyes at the sight of you holding his brother’s hand and Dean’s body. “Oh, no,” he said.

You dropped Dean’s hand long enough to hobble over to Sam and hug him as tightly as your damaged body would allow. “I’m so glad to see you, man. Are you okay?”

He nodded. “Are you?”

“All things considered, yeah,” you replied.

A doctor entered the room behind you and Sam. “Your father's awake. You can go see him if you like.”

“Doc, what about my brother?” Sam asked.

“Well, he sustained serious injury: blood loss, contusions to his liver and kidney. But it's the head trauma I'm worried about. There's early signs of cerebral edema,” the doctor explained.

“Well, what can we do?” You looked between Sam and the doctor worriedly. 

“Well, we won't know his full condition until he wakes up.” The doctor paused. “If he wakes up.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “If?”

“I have to be honest, most people with this degree of injury wouldn't have survived this long. He's fighting very hard. But you need to have realistic expectations.”

Your chest felt like someone was squeezing the air out of you. You began to hyperventilate as you made your way back over to Dean. Using his bed for support, you eased yourself back down into the chair and picked up his hand again.

Sam looked at you sadly before exiting the room, presumably to go see his father.

“It’s gonna be fine,” you muttered. “John ‘ll know what to do. You’re gonna wake up, and I’m gonna tell you everything. You have to come back to me, so I can tell you.” Tears streamed steadily down your face. “You have to come back, Dee. You’re my best friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you, man. I… I need you here. I need you.” You brought his hand up to your lips and just held it there as you sobbed. After a while, you drifted off, crying and holding onto Dean tightly.

***

It had been hours of sitting next to Dean and praying to a god you didn’t believe in that he’d wake up and this would all be over. You needed to tell him the feelings you’d been holding in for the better half of a year now. You needed him to know how much he meant to you.

You just needed to talk to him. And so, you did. “Dean, I’ve never told you this— in fact, I feel weird saying it now— but you matter more to me than anybody else in my life has. You just… you make my day better just by being in it. And I hope I do the same for you.

“Y’know, I never really hated you. You frustrated me so fucking much, but I could never hate you.” You drew in a breath. “I figured out that the reason I thought I hated you was because you challenged me. You told me you found me intimidating, but you never treated me like I was. That’s the difference between you and most other people. You’re fearless. Completely. It scares me sometimes, honestly. But you make me stronger, Dean. And I just… I hope I make you feel half as much as you make me feel. There’s so much I have to tell you when you wake up. I probably won’t say any of this to you while you’re awake— y’know, vulnerability and all that— but… I just needed to say it in case—” Your throat caught. “In case I never see you again.”

***

Another hour had gone by of you sitting with Dean. You refused to move from your spot to eat or drink or go to the bathroom. All that mattered was that you kept your eyes on him. You told yourself that if you could still feel or see him, then he was here. And that was enough.

You stared at his peaceful features. You remembered for a moment what he’d looked like sleeping, and you could almost see it now. However, the wires and tubes obstructing your view kept you grounded in the horrible reality that was the present moment: you and Sam may be leaving without him.

Your heart rate picked up as that thought crossed your mind and began to race even more as Dean flatlined.

“Help, help!” you screamed. You raced out into the hallway. “Code Blue, room 202! Code Blue!” 

Doctors and nurses immediately responded to your call and rushed behind you into the room. You watched in horror as they began to try and resuscitate him.

Sam had apparently heard your cries and ran down the hallway to you.

“Sam, he flatlined, he—” You buried your face in his chest, and he guided you into the room against the far wall. 

“Still no pulse,” a nurse said. You couldn’t bear to watch as they shocked his lifeless body.

Sam suddenly stiffened against you just as the frantic beeping of the monitors quieted. 

“We have a pulse. We're back into sinus rhythm,” the nurse said.

You let go of Sam and breathed deeply as you turned to his brother. You couldn’t get to him due to the doctors and nurses still fussing about, but you smiled briefly at the fact that he was still here. You looked up at the younger brother. “What is it?”

“Nothing, I just thought I heard something,” he said looking around confused. “It felt like Dean.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him. “What do you mean?”

“Like, he was there, just out of eyeshot or something. I don't know if it's my psychic thing or what, it— But do you think it's even possible? I mean, do you think his spirit could be around?”

You shrugged, suddenly feeling embarrassed of the things you’d admitted to Dean’s unconscious body. “Anything’s possible.”

“Well, there's one way to find out.” Sam began to leave Dean’s room. 

“Where are you going?”

“I gotta pick something up. I'll be back. Let me go tell my Dad.”

***

About an hour later, you still sat holding Dean’s right hand. You couldn’t let go now that you’d almost lost him a second time. Sam reentered the room. He was clutching a brown paper bag with an oblong object in his arms. 

“Welcome back,” you said. “What’s that?”

Sam seemed embarrassed. “I, uh, almost don’t wanna say.” He pulled out a Ouija Board.

You snorted. “Seriously?”

He ignored you and looked around the room at nothing. “Hey. I think maybe you're around. And if you are, don't make fun of me for this, but um, well, there's one way we can talk.” He sat the box and board on the floor in front of Dean’s bed. You looked on eagerly.

“Dean? Dean, are you here?” He put two fingers on each hand on the planchette. Moments later, it moved to “YES” on the board.

“Sam, don’t tell me you’re doing that,” you breathed out. “Or do, I don’t know which answer I want.”

“It's good to hear from you, man,” Sam laughed. “It hasn't been the same without you, Dean.”

The pointer began to slide around the board. “Dean, what? H? U? Hunt? Hunting? What, are you hunting?”

The pointer slid back to "YES."

“It's in the hospital; what you're hunting? Do— Do you know what it is?” Sam paused and gained his composure. “What is it?”

The pointer slid across the board too fast for you to read from your position next to Dean’s body. 

“A reaper. Dean. Is it after you?”

You watched with bated breath as the pointer slid to “YES.”

“If it's here naturally, there's no way to stop it,” Sam murmured. “Man, you're, um—” He got up from the ground and began to pace.

“No, no, no,” you said, looking over to Dean’s peaceful features. “You’re not fucking leaving me, dammit. There’s gotta be a way.”

“Dad'll know what to do.” Sam rushed out of the room, leaving the Ouija board on the ground.

You slowly stood and moved over to the board. You immediately missed the feeling of his hand in yours, even if he couldn’t hold back. You sat before the board and let out a shaky breath, placing your hands on the planchette. “Dee, you still here?”

The planchette slid to “YES” before returning to the middle of the board.

You huffed out an anxious breath. “Did you, um, did you hear what I said earlier?”

It slid back to “YES.”

“Oh, God, um, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to tell you until you were awake again,” you rushed out. “I didn’t— I’m sorry— Can you—”

“S” “L” “O” “W” “D” “O” “W” “N” the board spelled out.

You laughed shakily. “Sorry.” You paused. “Do you— Do you feel the same way?”

The planchette hesitated before sliding over to “YES.” A smile you couldn’t contain spread across your face. “Well, I sure as hell ain’t lettin’ you die now.”

Sam returned moments later carrying his father’s journal. “Hey. So Dad wasn't in his room.”

“Where is he?” you asked.

“Who knows? Maybe there's something here.” He tapped the journal before leafing through it. He stopped on the page that said “Reapers.” 

“How’s this supposed to help us, Sam? We already know we can’t kill ‘em,” you stated.

“I know, I know, I just… I thought maybe there’d be something else here. A way to… bargain with ‘em or something.”

You smiled at him sadly. Not knowing what else to say, you told him, “I know he appreciates that you’re not givin’ up on him, Sammy.”

***

Hours later, Sam had poured through almost every page of the journal. He paced around the room and began talking to Dean’s spirit. “Dean, are you here? I couldn't find anything in the book. I don't know how to help you. But I'll keep trying, all right? As long as you keep fighting.

"I mean, come on you can't, you can't leave me here alone with Dad. We'll kill each other, you know that.” He stopped and stood over you, looking down at his brother. “Dean, you gotta hold on. You can't go, man, not now. We were just starting to be brothers again. Can you hear me?”

***

You had even slept with Dean’s hand in yours through the night. Sam had gone in and out of the room a few times, but never John.

“Sam, what do we do, man?” You brushed a hand over your eyes, feeling exhausted and fueled by emotion all at once. 

He shook his head. “I’m thinkin’, okay?” he snapped.

“Sorry,” you muttered after a moment. 

“Me, too,” he said. 

Suddenly, Dean shot up and gasped, choking on the tube in his throat.

“Help! I need help!” you called into the hallway. 

***

“I can't explain it. The edema's vanished,” the doctor explained. “The internal contusions are healed. Your vitals are good. You have some kind of angel watching over you.”

“Thanks, doc,” Dean said. 

Your stomach sank knowing Dean didn’t remember what you’d said to him while he’d been unconscious, but you felt comforted knowing he felt the same way. You’d tell him when he was out of that crummy hospital gown, that somehow, he still managed to make look attractive.

Dean turned to his brother. “So, you said a Reaper was after me?”

You and Sam nodded.

“How'd I ditch it?”

You shrugged. “We don’t know. You really don’t remember… anything?”

“No. Except this pit in my stomach. (Y/N), something's wrong.”

The three of you turned your head to a knock at the door. John limped in for the first time you’d seen him since the accident. You fought the urge to start yelling at him about how he hadn’t come to see his son.

“How you feeling, dude?” John asked his son.

“Fine, I guess. I'm alive.”

John smiled sadly for a reason you couldn’t place. “That's what matters.”

“Where were you last night?” Sam was angry.

“I had some things to take care of.”

Sam scoffed. “Well, that's specific. Did you go after the demon?”

“No.”

“You know, why don't I believe you right now?”

John half-smiled despite the situation. “Can we not fight?” he pleaded. “You know, half the time we're fighting, I don't know what we're fighting about. We're just butting heads. Sammy, I— I've made some mistakes. But I've always done the best I could. I just don't want to fight anymore, okay?”

Sam cocked his head to the side. “Dad, are you alright?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I'm just a little tired. Hey, son, would you, uh, would you mind getting me a cup of caffeine?”

Sam left you and Dean with John.

“I, uh, have a thing. At a… place,” you mumbled awkwardly, leaving the room. You stood outside and waited for Sam to return, bouncing on your heels and thinking about how and when you were going to tell Dean how you felt for the second time.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by John putting a hand on your shoulder. Strangely, he pulled you into a hug. “I’m happy I ran into you in Jericho. Thanks for watching my boys.” And with that, he left. You watched him retreat back to his room for a moment before heading back in to see Dean. 

“Hey,” you said awkwardly.

“Hey,” he responded, seeming a little out of it. “What’re you nervous about?”

“I feel like the timing’s really bad for me to tell you,” you responded. "Especially with your dad and his cryptic thing he did just now."

“Well, now you definitely have to,” Dean half-smirked.

You took a deep breath. “While you were… out… I told you something.”

He looked at you expectantly.

You huffed out a quick breath. “You remember that stupid pinky promise I made you make? You told me I confuse you, and you promised to tell me why someday. Is… Are you? I mean— Jesus, I’m never like this—” 

Before you or Dean could continue, you suddenly heard Sam screaming, “Help! Somebody, help!” from down the hall. You and Dean jerked to attention and looked at each other briefly before leaping off the bed and running down the hall. When you reached the doorway, John was being taken away from Sam and Sam was shoved out of the room.

A nurse tried to shove you and Dean away as well. “No, no, no, it's our dad. It's our dad!” 

She stopped pushing you and allowed you to stay by the door.

“C’mon, John,” you muttered. “C’mon.”

“Okay, stop compressions.”

Your heart sank watching Dean’s horrified face as they called the time of his father's death.

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld

[stanfordswifey]

"I'll be here for you, my love"

Ford Pines x reader

You've been in the hospital for 5 years straight, your cancer developing and spreading. The tumor you had ignored had now developed and evolved, spreading to your organs, causing your stage 1 liver tumor to evolve into stage 4 metastasis.

Just yesterday the doctor walked into your room quietly, it was unusual. She had some news to break to you. "I'm afraid you only have a couple more days left. I've told you this before but its any time now, i'm sorry." You smiled at her, noticing the tear falling down her cheek and frown mentally, keeping a fake strong facade. "It's not your fault. I'm glad you tried your.best and never gavs up on me." Your hand curls into a ball under the sheet, doing your best to sray strong. The doctor left soon after, leaving you alone in the room with only your thoughts, your brain wandered 'will i tell ford?' 'Will he be okay?' 'I hope he's going to be fine without me'

You stared mindlessly at the ceiling, thoughts and memories rolling around in your mind like a film for a movie, you curse at the solidarity of your life, eventually falling asleep. You felt pathetic, worthless even, knowing that your husband too busy to even worry about you.

(You eventually fall asleep and wake up the next day)

It was another dreary day at the hospital, the sight of white boring walls and minimalistic decor making you lose your sanity by the minute, not having anything to suppress the agonizing pain you felt in your body.

-ford's pov-

"It has been a while since I last visited them at the hospital"

He murmurs, to no one but himself.

You've been gone for so long, off he visited you time to time, but ultimately focusing on the portal more and more to distract himself from worrying about you too much.

As he was working on his portal, his phone suddenly rang, causing him to jump at the sudden sound, rolling his eyes as he pushes himself away from the table (yk those chairs w wheels he basically just rolled over to the phone LMAO).

He accepts the call, ruffling his hair in frustration.

"Ford Pines here, who is this?"

"Ah, sorry, I'm doctor may here, what is your relationship to (reader)?"

He hums, fidgeting with a machine part with his fingers

"I'm their fiancé, what's wrong?"

The doctor clears her throat on the other line,

"I'm sorry to tell you, their tumor has started to spread to numerous other organs, I fear they don't have much time left.."

Ford feels his stomach drop, his hand loosening.

".."

"I suggest you get them out of the hospital and just spend time together, I'm afraid there isn't much we can do now. It's best to spend time while they're still here"

"..I see, thank you doctor."

The call ended, he immediately drops his phone and covers his face with his hands, tears falling down. They really couldn't do anything now. He didn't know what to do.

That night he spent his time sobbing, thinking of ways to help you, looking for a cure, a remedy, anything to help you, he failed miserably.

After a couple hours of thinking it over and breaking down he decided to pick you up from the hospital and spend time together, if you couldn't be there for the entirety of his life, atleast he'd be there for yours.

A/N

Hi hi!! This was shitty! I havent written anything for a while T~T please do send me some ideas/requests or if I did anything wrong plz do comment it down, also English isn't my first language so It's not perfect, this will be like 2 or 3 parts? I dont know yet but I will update :33 thank you again for reading <33

[kinardsevan]

so i have this other au that's been floating around in my head that I might not ever write, but I wonder if anyone else has it.

basically, knowing Buck was born as a savior sibling, I get this idea similar to My Sister's Keeper. in essence, Daniel still dies, but he dies after Evan's a little older. Maybe not that much older, but old enough that he remembers the procedures that Margaret insists on to save her oldest son. Buck gets put through all the needle sticks, bone marrow draws, etc., but obviously none of it works and eventually Daniel still passes, but this really drives a wedge between Buck and his parents. Maddie becomes that much more of the person Buck relies on because Margaret was always too busy worrying about Daniel to pay attention, and Philip just wanted her to be happy so he went along with it.

Except, things still kinda pan out the same way they already did. Buck was still young enough that mostly what he remembers is spending a lot of time in hospitals, but not really why. He remembers pain, but not much more than that. Maybe he doesn't even really remember Daniel, because he was always kept away from him due to neutropenia. And then when things come out about it when Maddie is pregnant with Jee-Yun, he kinda loses it.

Ultimately, he still meets Tommy, falls in love with him, etc. But Tommy sees how skittish he is with doctors, sees the scars (both from inadvertent self-harm to get his parents attention as well as maybe some from them taking cells, etc., for Daniel. headcanoning that maybe he has one from donating part of his liver or a kidney.)

But basically, the Buckleys want to work their way back into Evan's good graces, and Tommy isn't here for it at all because he can see the ways in which they abused their privilege of being parents on the son they only wanted for parts. This would all culminate in some level of an explosion at them. Maybe through it all, Evan has his own cancer scare, and Tommy snaps about who's going to show up and be his donor when they've already used up the pieces they wanted from him.

(I literally would name the fic spare parts. I got that far in plotting it in my head.)

thoughts?

[froody]

my liver shows signs of fatty liver disease. they discovered this in June and I did not hear about it until January. I’m getting a scan tomorrow to examine it. the doctor said “it’s probably nothing to worry about it’s probably because of your diet” I eat very little and what I do eat is light on my tummy so I asked her if it could possibly be because of the cocktail of drugs I’m on and the fact I live on Tylenol since I’m in constant fucking pain and they do nothing about it. she says no. I go home and google the strong immunosuppressant I’m on. the first side effect listed is liver damage. ahahahahaha. I want to throttle somebody. it’s like I’m screaming at the top of my lungs and cannot be heard. wish me the best of luck!

[barcalover86]

Unreal nightmare - Gavi

Summary: "How can I learn to live without you when you taught me how to be alive"

"Your relationship was a private one, and we didn't really get to see you two a lot. How was she?" one of the reporters asked.

Pablo chuckled a bit.

"She was so fearless." he started. "Energetic and chaotic kind of girl, you know. Wherever she was, she would bring the light after her. You couldn't feel sad or hopeless around her."

"She seemed like a really nice person."

"Yes, because she was."

Pablo had to stop because he knew that if he would say one more word, he was going to cry. He hated the tight feeling inside his neck.

The older man comforted the boy, putting one of his hands on Gavi's shoulder, while massaging it.

After a few seconds, Pablo continued.

"Before I met her, I only found happiness in winning. But she taught me to enjoy the process, to be thankful that I am healthy and that I have a house where I can sleep and that I have a really loving family that supports me."

"That's so kind of her."

"Yes, she was really kind. To everyone."

He smiled sadly while thinking about you.

"So tell us, Gavi. What happened? One day, she was out there cheering your name, and the next one, we found out that she had passed away? How come?"

The boy started to tear up. His hands reached his face, not wanting to let the world see his pain.

Everyone felt so sorry for him. They all knew how much he loved you and how happy you had made him.

"Just one day, she started scratching all over her body. We were all really confused especially when her eyes got yellow."

"Oh.."

"Yeah.. such a bad memory. Well, then we got her quickly to the hospital, and we stayed there for about 5-6 hours to get her a doctor. She then started to be in so much pain."

"She was having some allergy?"

"I hoped so, but she was not. We found out that she had liver cancer."

"I'm really sorry, Gavi-"

"We took her to the best doctor, but it was all too much for her and after only 1 month of being in the hospital, they let her home for the 'she better dies home with her family, rather than alone' kinda reason".

"But.. After only 1 month, it was that crucial??"

"Liver cancer is extremely dangerous and painful. It expands incredibly fast."

"And she was staying at your house while you just had to pretend that everything was fine... to not worry the people around you."

"Something like that, yes. But our families were there to help me out with her. As I said before, everyone loved her."

"How did she die?"

"She lived more than any doctor said she would. But God.. she looked so different and drained. Even at her worst, she was asking for everyone's health" Gavi laughed a bit.

The reporter smiled.

"I don't know if it was bad or if I'm thankful that she died in my arms.."

"Oh, Gavi-"

"Don't start, please," he once again teared up. "I just don't understand why she had to suffer like that when she was the most angelic person that I've met. She was so, so young.."

"How old was she?"

"17."

A loud silence acapared the room.

No one knew what to say in these situations.

--------------‐---------------------‐---------------------‐------

"Gavi, go to sleep! Tomorrow you have a big game and you have to be rested."

"Pedri, please leave me alone."

"Then I'd be a bad friend. C'mon, brother, go have a nap. I know you're tired."

"I can't sleep, Pedri! Ok? If I close my eyes I only see her dead in front of me!"

"Pablo-"

"Everyone is dreaming about the healthy version of her, and I'm the only one that can't even imagine my girlfriend being.. normal and real and-"

"Gavi! Stop!" Pedri began. "You saw her at her worst. It's normal to have that imagine painted in your brain for a period of time. But that definitely doesn't mean that you are not able to also dream about her when she was all healthy."

"I'm afraid that she forgot me and only looks out for her family and not me, Pedri."

"Don't say that! You know that's not true at all."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because we both know that she loved you more than anyone. Now go to sleep and let's have a great game tomorrow so that you can win for her, alright?"

--------------‐---------------------‐---------------------‐------

"Gavira, do you want to play?" Xavi asked the footballer.

"Yes."

"Ok then, go change!"

Before the game, Pablo had promised himself to give his all for you.

And he did that.

He helped his team a lot.

He didn't see you along the crowd, but he somehow felt you in him. You made him stronger and he even scored. Just. For. You.

"She'd be so proud of you, boy."

And then Gavi looked into the sky and saw your shadow.

And then he smiled.

People were cheering his name, and he then promised himself that he would continue to fight for life, just like you did. You fought for every second of life because every moment matters. And by your absence, he learned to appreciate things more. He learned that to live is the most incredible gift that we, humans, have.

[stillxnunpxidintern]

Shanks x Reader Imagine - Unfortunate Sailing

(This little imagine has been stuck in my brain for a while.)

You're part of the Red Hair Pirates, while you're happy to drink and get drunk with the crew, you only do it sometimes as you like not waking up with hangover or trying to do your liver in. Plus in the mornings you enjoy the quiet before everyone starts to wake up and groaning with a hangover.

If you're feeling annoyed because of the crew you will bring pots out of the kitchen and banging them, watching the crew moan, simply for your pleasure.

One particular morning you got a call on your personal Den Den Mushi, from your childhood friend, explaining a situation that was happening and needed help. After listening to them you figured that the rest of crew of wasn't needed for this, as you knew a few people in your hometown that will that would be more than happy to help.

After telling crew and declining the offer for them helping, knowing that them being there was a little overkill and you didn't want the town run dry of rum, with how much they all drunk and stocked up on, but did promise them that if you needed help you would inform them.

After packing what you needed and weapons, you told the crew to behave till you got back and hopefully you would be back as soon as possible. Shanks asked once more if you were sure of your decision and told him you were. He then said where they would potentially gonna be when you finished with business, you pressed a kiss on his lips and left, as you began your journey home.

You made it to your hometown quicker than you were expecting and immediately started making plans with some of the other people to deal with the problem of the bandits.

Having dealt with pirates of varying crews, the bandits were easy to take care of and very little injuries were attained by all. The whole town held a party after the bandits were defeated and didn't have to worry about them anymore.

Having spent a week catching up with your friends, you knew it was time to leave and head back to your red headed man.

Surprisingly you were able to get on a ship that was heading near where Shanks and the crew should be, so that made your life easier or it would of, had the ship not been attacked in the night half way through the journey.

You were thrown from the bed you were sleeping into a table with such force you were certain that you heard cracks, as you wheezed trying to get your breath back.

Hearing shouting and screaming, you grabbed your weapons and left the room to find who was attacking and help out. More cannonballs were being shot and you were doing the best to dodge people and the splinting wood that was flying around.

Just as you reach the deck, you were thrown again by the sheer force and you crashed into the railing of the ship, with your left collarbone taking the brunt, making you give a small cry of pain.

You did your best to fight but due to the darkness, the pain you were in and being unable to recognize who was attacking, most likely pirates, the battle was over and you were left clinging to broken wood to keep yourself afloat.

At some point you slipped unconscious and when you woke next, you were in a white room with light hitting your face, you were sure you would of died drifting unconscious at sea.

Eventually you found out from the doctor that had been looking after you, that a fishing boat had gone out earlier and had found you and brought you back to their island to be treated.

The doctor explained that you had broken your left collar in two places, and that it should remain in a sling until it was healed, you also had a couple of ribs that were fractured and the others were bruised, so best to avoid to doing much as they heal and then there was a gush to the head that was healing fine.

You had more cuts and bruises all over your body, that were bandage up, but resting and not moving much was the best thing for you.

After a couple of day, you were able to contact Shanks and the crew, letting them know you needed to be picked up, but conveniently left out what had happened, that was a conversation for later.

You had been at the port since the ship was spotted, so when the Red Force had finally arrived in port and docked, you were relieved to finally be going home, sleeping in your own bed and taking a long bath but you were also apprehensive giving your current state.

Taking a deep as breathe as you, being mindful for your ribs, you watched as the gangplank was lowered and waited for the commotion of the crew, when a little voice in the back of your mind made you wonder if you could escape before they saw you but that thought quickly left, as you heard your name being called.

You quickly told them to shut up, it was too early to be dealing with them and their shenanigans plus you weren't in the mood for it. You could hear Beck say it was past midday and you shot him a betrayed look he was meant to be on your side, as the other responsible person on the ship.

You were doing everything in your power to avoid the glaring issue and certain red head, you were happy they were here but you just wanted your bed and deal everything later one.

You were distracted by the crew that you didn't notice the looming shadow over you till your head was moved so you were looking up into the face of your captain and lover.

You could see concern in his eyes, obviously, but also there was a hint of anger and could see he was about to ask, but you stopped him by putting your hand up and shook your head.

His shoulders fall and pressed a kiss into your hair, and only says later to you, to which you just nod your head as his hand rests on the small of your back, as you head back aboard the ship.

Once back in the capital cabin, you looked at the bed and couldn't wait to be in it but you first a had a quick wash and pulled on loose cloth, with slight difficulty and pain but you managed. You then settled on the bed and did the best you could to find the best position to sleep.

At some point when you were napping Shanks had come in and settled behind you, gently pulling you between his legs and laying you against his chest as he rested his chin on top of your head.

When you wake sometime later it takes you a few moments to realise you weren't in the same position as earlier but definitely felt more comfortable than what you had fallen asleep in.

You felt a hand stroking your hair and moved your head to see Shanks, you didn't think it would anyone else but you never know its happened before.

After a few moments and feeling more awake, then shuffled around so your right side was against his chest, allowing you to look up at him easier. There was silence between you two as his hand came up and ran his fingers over the nearly healed gush on your head. It left a little scar but your hair would cover mostly.

His hand then travelled down your face and stroked your cheek with his thumb, then travelled down your neck and across your left collarbone with the lightest of touches and then continued down over your ribs before resting his hand on your waist.

The stillness between the two of you only last a few moment, before Shanks is resting his cheek on top of your head before asking what had happened to you to end up with those injuries.

So you explained to him how everything had happen, there were a couple of moment, while explaining when his fingers digged to your waist, which made you wince as you were still covered bruises and cuts.

You knew that he was down right furious, murderous, at the pirates that had attacked you and a little angry at himself for not being more insistent that the Red Force went with you, and you getting hurt could have been avoid altogether.

To distract Shanks from his musing, you moved your head and pressed kisses into his jawline and a couple of his neck, which got him, as he looked down at you with a cheeky smile.

He then peppered your face with kisses, as he teased that you couldn't be that hurt but he wouldn't fall victim to your alluring smile and addictive kisses till you had recovered.

You just laughed at him and kissed him again, to which he turned his head away each time and said nope, he wasn't falling for it again.

After a few moments of trying, you pouted at him and saying you were gonna tell Beck that he was being mean and attempted to get up but Shanks just tighten his hold to keep you against him, as he gave you a couple of more kisses and rub his face against your, whining that Beck would make him do some sort work.

You shook your head at his antics before a yawn escaped you, so you settled into a comfortable position and closed your eyes. As you drifted off you felt one more kiss pressed into the side your head and a mumbles words of affection.

It had been over a week since your return to the Red Force and had docked at some little island, having a party on the beach.

You were happily sitting in-between Shanks legs, using his thigh as a pillow, watching the fire as Lucky was cooking on it, when an unexpected visitor turned up, making some of the newer crew mates reach for their weapons.

Lifting your head up to see who was causing the commotion, you saw that it was the sword wielding Warlord. Shanks told the men to stand down as he welcomed Mihawk to come and drink with them.

Mihawk eyes locked on you, as you gave the Warlord a smile as you laid your head back down, noticing the bandages and sling that your arm was still you.

While Shanks was carding his fingers through your hair, Mihawk came and crouched in front of you, taking your face gently in his hand, he then called you Darling as he looked over you.

Upon hearing Mihawk call you darling, Shanks pouted at the swordsman and complained why he never got called darling.

Noticing the look that Mihawk was giving Shanks, you giggled to yourself, before his attention turned back to you and inquired as to what happened, as he stroked your cheek. You gave a murmured short explanation of what had happened.

When he let go of your face, you made a little grumble at the loss as you went back to using Shanks thigh, as the red head gave a better explanation of what happened to you to the Warlord.

As both men spoke (more like bickering you though) with each other, you slowly drifted off to the sound of their voices.

(Possibly implied MiShanks x Reader, take it how you wish)