#my dad meanwhile is too busy not giving a shit at all

[sheryl-lee]

.

[krisluxxeeempress]

WHY ARE THEY MAD? PICK-A- PILE

Pile One: Work Related

It appears as if you have people in your work environment MAD because they see you making more moves and less announcements these days. With great effort to not jump ahead energetically to read these cards inadvertently lets me know these people are mad because they’re watching you and still somehow confused as to how you are making more moves & advancing ahead of them. Imagine watching an entire movie and missing parts, forcing you to rewind. These people are watching you and confused as to how you are growing in your career, business, creative pursuits etc. The rewind energy I referenced in my example is what is happening to these people who are too busy watching you while they’re life is on hold and or  are being forced to re-do something that they missed in their life. ( Saturn RX energy)

 It feels like I’m writing in a circle, but I know that the energy I am picking up on from those people who are mad at you. You are running circles around these people while they’re watching you!  AND STILL, THEY DON’T SEE YOU COMING. For some of you, they are mad because you found a loophole or some kind of weakness or lack in your respective fields which is the key to your success. While everyone is doing, looking, sounding, thinking, producing the same shit ( excuse my language) you are giving what needs to be gave, effortlessly. It gives heavy unique vibes. Nothing is truly new under the sun, however, whatever it is your doing and or offering appears to be different and to your credit- I am confident it is different. AND THAT IS WHY THEY ARE MAD!! To my next point, you have these people mad because you don’t do what everyone else does. BOOM ! It’s amazing how everyone does, looks, acts, says, moves, smells, and thinks the same while simultaneously thinking they are still different. Like how? EXACTLY. ( questions that need answers) While everyone else is copying and using others for a come up or lifestyle, you seem to be getting it out the mud- quite literally.

You have literally or are in the process of drafting something from scratch meanwhile others just regurgitate basic information, products or “skills” for clout and money. I keep wanting to use the word appear and so there’s something extremely significant about appearances. ( heavy Sun | Leo energy) For those gold diggers out there, man or woman, they are mad at you because they play dummy games and are now being rewarded with dummy prizes. The card, “these hoes aint loyal” (Chris Brown vibes) came out which is why I feel there are some gold diggers in your energy MAD at you. They took the easy, predictable and trifling way out meanwhile you took the harder way, and you are managing to get further ahead ( or will be, this may be a prediction) This could even be the other way around where you come into whichever work| creative field and things start to manifest for you easier and quicker as opposed to those people who may have been doing it longer than you.

TRUST AND BELIEVE- THEY ARE MAD!!!!

Last card out: THEY HAVE TO STAY MAD

PERIOD.

Pile Two: Single & Won't Mingle

I initially started this reading off with the disclaimer and then I deleted it. Then the energy switched just that fast and so with that being said- you have someone mad that you are not giving warnings, disclaimers, arguing, nagging or fighting for them to act right. This reading has two different scenarios- so stay with me. Some of you may not be single, however, you are dealing with someone who acts single. Feel me? We have all heard of those single married people. This can even be a situation where someone is mad because their ( baby mom or dad) child’s father or mother is acting single. The first card that came out was “ they are mad because you don’t want kids, anymore kids, or none of their kids”. You see why I’m conflicted? This is energy I’m picking up from a single person who refuses to deal with someone who has children. Or this is someone who has children with someone who is acting single.

It gets worse! Someone is mad you will not have sex with them. So, for those who do not have children or want anymore- this person is mad because you feel like that is their goal or simply you are not attracted to or making time for them for whatever reason. It’s messy and I am trying to explain this simply but there’s so many factors. NO WONDER THEY ARE MAD. Someone is also mad you know when, where and how to detach. Basically, someone is mad because you may feel like dealing with them would make things complicated and you are avoiding that outcome as best you can. Now that I follow suite and energetically detach, I can process this much better concluding that these people or person is mad because they want to be emotionally and or sexually involved in your life however, you see the red flags from miles and trials away. This person or people are mad because you are lit and won’t change for them and so this helps put things into better context now. With you being lit, this indicates that you are in a good place in your life whether that be financially, spiritually, emotionally or all the above.

Some of you are not heartbroken, missing anyone from the past or carrying any resentment in your heart. It’s like you have a clean slate in your life and you simply do not want to or are not ready to incorporate someone new or back into your life- & that’s fair. This person is mad because they cannot change your mind- aka manipulate you. This may even be people you don’t even know exist and when they see you, they get triggered because the energy you exude is giving “ fuck off” while simultaneously looking sexy or handsome as hell. No wonder you chose not to be involved; I literally could not think straight when my emotions were involved in the beginning of the reading. Everything was confusing and messy and in my personal experience and from observation- that’s usually what occurs when you get emotionally and sexually involved. Some of you may have strong Neptune, Chiron, Libra, Virgo, Pisces or 7th house placements. You have people mad because you are cautious, picky and unattainable if I’m honest. The next cards out are “ time is money, and you can lose it all and bounce back”. AMAZING . It’s clear a lot of you with this energy and mentality are bouncing back and have experienced that messy and confusing situation before when dealing with others.

With time is money, your energy now reminds me of Pile (1). You have redirected your focus into work related and creative outlets. Those creative outlets may now be work for you. If any of you have strong Neptune, Chiron, Leo, Sun etc. placements ( not limited to) it appears as if you are channeling your sexual aka creative energy into work or creativity. Which is another reason why they are mad especially if you resonate with Pile (1). I am proud of this pile because I can feel how much healing you’ve done. How much you’ve matured and how much wisdom you’ve gained.

On YouTube & TikTok, my “ Why Are They Mad” readings are quite popular however, usually someone is mad for petty, superficial and egotistical reasons. I can honestly say this is the first-time people are mad for VALID AND LEGITIMATE REASONS. I personally want someone to be mad that I’m focused, mature, creative, HEALED & HAPPY and have HIGHER STANDARDS. Hell yeah! This is truly what life is about and I can sense your Divinity. You are truly chosen, and you have DEMONS mad. Aw, I feel kindred spirits here… Just re-read this, the energy started off with low vibration and now (personally) I feel at peace.

WOW! Aw, I love you guys who chose this pile , spiritually I know you….

Pile Three: Stepping on Necks

Wow, I don’t know where to start. ( 2 minutes later, SpongeBob narrator voice) You have the world, your neighbors, family, foes, haters, ex’s, pastors, teachers- EVERYBODY MAD because your career is taking off. This is profound because this pile is for those who have been the underdog. This pile is for those who have been struggling, overlooked and receiving the bare minimum in all aspects of life- until now. I am not the type of lie, exaggerate or only speak about GOOD THINGS to appease anyone. ( which is why I’m selectively liked) Believe me when I tell you that a major shift has and or is occurring in your life. The cards “ your ass is fatter, and you snapped back after the baby” came out. On the surface, this would mean some of you may have gained weight for a multitude of reasons. Especially if one was struggling emotionally and spiritually- you gained weight due to eating and laziness. Others you gained weight because you had a baby ( congratulations) however, I do not dwell on the surface and so these cards indicate for me that some of you astrologically speaking in a solar return or progressive chart you may have had your moon in Sagittarius, Jupiter in Aries or 1st house, Jupiter in Taurus or 2nd house , Sagittarius or 9th house , Cancer or 4th house, Moon in Cancer or 4th house. ( however, not limited to)

What this means is that you gained weight and you were undergoing spiritual awakenings with hardships. Life has been hard and for some of you, your body took a hit. With the card “ you snapped back after the baby”, that may be the case for those of you this applies to. For the emotional and stress eaters -you will notice that you are starting to lose weight or break the habits that encouraged weight gain. AND THAT’S WHY THEY ARE MAD!!!! It’s never about appearances but more so what’s going on underneath and for most of you, you were holding on and feeding negative energy that is now being released slowly but surely.  Some of you may have let yourself go and now you are snapping back, better than before. Of course they are mad about this!! Back to your career is taking off, some of you work in corporate while others work for themselves. Those working in corporations, you have always been at the bottom and making the bare minimum or simply never gained the respect that was deserved. Those who work for yourself, you have always been overlooked and paid very little if at all. Some of you may have had to go back into working 9-5 corporate jobs because your business was stagnant. People just did not want to support you at all which forced you to go back into “slavery”.

Nonetheless, this is turning around for you Jupiter style. ( or will be ) Astrologically speaking, check your outer planets- Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto – maybe even your progressive or solar return charts because however society treated you- this is changing. You will no longer have to ask for permission, meaning- you will have the financial comfort or freedom to live and afford the things you want/ need without assistance from anyone. In corporate, you may be promoted to a position to where others must report to you, or you no longer must report to someone- there’s more leeway granted to you. Entrepreneurs, this means exactly what it means. You do not have to ask for permission! Business will be getting better; energy levels will be restored, and you can come and go as you please. AND THAT’S WHY THEY ARE MAD! IT’S GIVING MORE FREEDOM THAT OTHER’S DO NOT HAVE AND ENJOYED TAKING FROM YOU OR WORKED HARD TO ENSURE YOU NEVER HAD.  Some of you have people mad because no message is the message. ( DAMN)

Intuitively, I feel like some of you may be moving, changing numbers, jobs, contact emails- the whole nine. Those who had access to you before, no longer will. Of course, people feel the energetic shift ( refer back to those outer planets I’ve mentioned) Those people who counted you out and delighted in believing you would never make progress or move forward- now see you in a different light. They now want to be part of your life and “assist” or “support” you whereas, before you did not have that “privilege”. And yet now you are becoming privileged. ( without them) They are mad you are educated. As far as I’m concerned, knowledge is power and you clearly are the most powerful currently, ready to wield that power. It’s all fun and games when the rabbit has the gun ( some of you may be seeing bunnies a lot lately) & THAT’S WHY THEY ARE MAD!

You are educated, which alludes to some of you being able to go back to school to get degrees or this could be simply be speaking on becoming a wiser person. This can also speak of having a skill or talent that you have mastered and are the best at it. Referring to Pile (1), you have a talent or knowledge that sets you apart which is or will be the key to your success. Lastly, people are mad that “ you ain’t with the bafoolery”. This gives me the vibe that you said you would do something ( like succeed) and you’re doing it. You are proving it. You are true to it. I said lastly, but there’s a bit more I want to cover. And that’s your energy- you will succeed and then some. It reminds me a lyric Drake said, mind you he’s a millionaire, successful and never has to work again but in his lyrics, he said something along the lines of “ any other rapper would have retired but I have more to accomplish”. Blah blah. That’s your energy, you will be giving way more than is expected. ( example, I wrote a whole book for this pile) You will be surpassing others and your even your own expectations. People are mad that you are independent which automatically renders the majority POWERLESS.

Most people need others to need them because it makes them feel important and of course, a need can be capitalized. This whole world thrives ON A NEED. The fact that you’ll be in a position where you are no longer subjected to others, IS POWER & THAT IS WHY EVERYBODY WILL BE MAD. It gives underdog is top dog energy. Lastly, ( truly) like Pile (2), everybody will be mad because you do not want marriage. It’s like Rhianna Vibes, she’s a billionaire and everyone expects her to be married because she has two children. If you read pile (2), you just want to remain unencumbered, detached and not tied down to anyone. Especially after you witnessed the true nature of most people. You are cautious, focused and simple do not have time or energy to invite someone into your life who can and will try to take all that you have worked for ALONE. They did not care nor were they attracted to you when you had nothing so in your mind, it’s best they KEEP THAT SAME ENERGY & THAT’S WHY THEY ARE MAD!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! IF ANY OF THESE PILES RESONATED PLEASE CONSIDER "HEARTING" OR REBLOGGING MY POST. I AM TRYING TO BUILD AND EXPAND MY BLOG AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO DO SO.

I OFFER PERSONAL READINGS, PLEASE EMAIL ME: SERVINTHAMOSTHIGH@GMAIL.COM

CHECK ME OUT ON YOUTUBE, PATREON AND TIK TOK.

LINKS BELOW FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE!

[rafestar]

I have this idea and I gotta tell someone, so yk those push pop candy’s. Well y/n eats one and takes the whole length out and sucks it and Rafe looks or drew and they think of their divk. And get horny so uh idk after like bang bang they do that and uh idk

TRY ME | Rafe Cameron

WARNINGS: +18 smut, oral sex (female receiving), sex without protection, hair pulling, dirty talk, etc

SUMMARY: reader teases rafe with a candy during dinner with their families.

A/N: thank you for the request love, i hope you like it. english isn’t my first language, if there’s any mistakes i will gladly welcome any advice or help, enjoy♡

"Choose one"

After finishing dinner at the Camerons' house, we all stayed at the table talking. While our parents were arguing about their things, Wheezie was handing out candy to me and Sarah.

“This one looks tasty.” I pointed to the strawberry push pop.

"It is! I'll take one too” exclaimed little Cameron. "You can also take some Rafe"

Rafe.

He on the other hand was in his own world, probably high, drunk, whatever.

“I'm not 13 years old to keep eating that shit” Even though he was looking down, clearly using his phone, I could see him rolling his eyes.

“Rude” I spoke.

Rafe, who was in front of me, for the first time tonight glanced up at something other than his phone or his food.

His intimidating look made me shift in my chair.

I never had any kind of contact with him, despite the fact that i was always at his house since Sarah is my best friend and our parents are also very good friends.

I could see from his look that he was throwing daggers at me. "No one was talking to you”.

And before looking down again I could see how he articulated "whore" before continuing on his phone.

Ignoring him, I continued my conversation with the two sisters while we sucked on our candies.

"I really don't know what to do, Topper is a good boy…”

“We already know you like Jo-“ Sarah covered Wheezie's mouth as I laughed.

"Wheezie!" Sarah whispered-screamed.

The three of us laughed until I noticed someone burning me alive with his eyes.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Rafe's eyes were riveted on my lips. A smile gross on my face and I decided to try something.

I foolishly licked the top of the treat, carefully running my lips over the tip so only he would notice. I pushed the long candy until it was all in my mouth.

Meanwhile, I was still deep in conversation with Sarah, but I could clearly hear Rafe complaining and sometimes I'd side eye to see him squirming in his seat.

Until suddenly he pushed his seat back and got up hitting the table and knocking over a couple of glasses. "Shit…"

One of the drinks that fell was Sarah's. "What's wrong with you!"

"Fuck off Sarah." Rafe left the room without giving another backward glance.

"Words!" Rose yelled after continuing to drink her wine. "This kids…"

Everyone looked at each other strangely, less clearly me.

"Maybe he has an emergency," Ward justified.

Yes, an emergency.

Hiding my smile, I turned to continue my conversation, as everyone else did.

It took a while until everyone decided to go to the tables outside, since the weather was very good to be in the garden.

While my mom and Rose went on about their business, Ward and Dad talked about their jobs. Wheezie, Sarah and I were just laying on the floor looking at the stars.

The breeze got cooler and my skin got goosebumps since I was only wearing a sundress.

“Do you mind if I go upstairs to get a sweatshirt in your room,” I asked Sarah.

"It’s okay”.

I gave them a smile before getting up and brushing some of the grass off the skirt of my dress and headed inside the house.

I closed the door behind me and everything was pretty quiet. I made my way to the stairs until I felt a tug on my arm that took me to the kitchen.

Before I was going to scream, Rafe turned me around and covered my mouth with his big hand.

My eyes looked at him terrified, since from his look, he looked quite furious.

Looking sideways at the curtain-covered window, I saw our parents share a few laughs.

Rafe grabbed my jaw hard to direct my gaze to him.

"W-What do you want?" I whispered.

Rafe ran his tongue up the inside of his cheek before letting out a mocking laugh. "What do I want?"

Rafe grabbed my waist to lean me against the counter, and that's when I felt it. Against my stomach, I could feel how hard he was. My eyes flicked down and I saw how big he looked behind his jeans.

"I have something for you" my eyes widened in surprise.

Rafe rummaged through his pockets until he pulled out the same candy I was eating an hour ago.

“Thank you but I already ate one…”

My body was still trapped between his and the counter. His hip pressed hard against my stomach to keep feeling him. I watched as his long fingers removed the plastic from the long candy before taking it to his mouth. I saw how a trace of saliva was left on the candy when it came out of his mouth.

I felt like I had a pool inside my underwear. I couldn't help but get turned on by it. My cheeks turned hot pink as my gaze moved from his lips to his eyes. I guess he sensed my arousal, since with his free hand, he grabbed my waist for stability. My knees were shaking and if it wasn't for his touch, I'd probably be on the ground by now.

A lopsided smile appeared on his face, and his eyes sparkled a light blue.

He directed the sweet towards my closed lips, and outlined them inside. “Stick out your tongue”.

With his hand holding the candy, my tongue ran over the stick. His head tilted to the side and his eyes darkened as he followed my movements.

For a moment my movements stopped when Rafe introduced all the candy into my mouth.

"Push your lips against it and don’t let it fall" I did as he told me and his hands fell to my thighs.

He pushed me up onto the counter, squeezing the bare skin peeking out from under the skirt of my dress.

His hot breath felt against my face as he moved closer to me, looking closer into my eyes.

"I'm going to fuck you with that damn candy in your mouth."

My pupils dilated with desire, and I didn't take my gaze from him.

His hands trailed up the hem of my dress to my underwear and ripped it open. My eyes widened in shock and my hands clenched against the counter.

Rafe brushed my hair back and began to kiss the exposed skin of my neck. My head fell against the wall and my back arched. His cold hands ran over my neck and arms, caressing me gently. He slowly lower the straps of my dress until my breasts were exposed.

His hot kisses went down to one of my breasts, licking and biting through the center of my areola. Not leaving the other unattended, he massaged my nipple into a squeeze that made me jump to the edge of the counter.

He did the same steps with my other breast. His kisses trailed down my thighs, taking small bites and leaving marks on my sensitive skin. His big hands gripped my thighs, and I began to feel him kiss my core. His kisses were soft and his licks were soft.

He sucked all the folds in my core, before inserting his tongue. My legs trembled at that, and I could feel him smile against my intimacy. His tongue came out and went back to licking softly over the rest, before taking my clit between his teeth.

Saliva dripped down the side of my mouth as I clenched the candy hard.

I was near my peak of arousal until Rafe came back up. "Even sweeter than that fucking sweet."

My frown showed my frustration and he smiled at that.

His hands unbuttoned his pants and lowered his boxers a little, and the great bulge of him finally came out. My eyes widened at the size of him, and saliva kept dribbling from my mouth. His thumb wiped me clean before taking his hand to himself and massaging it a few times.

Without warning he entered me and my eyes squeezed shut. My whimpering over the candy and his growling were silent, since the only thing that separated us from our families was a simple window.

I opened my eyes and couldn't flinch at the image in front of me. Rafe's head was thrown back as his bare arms held the kitchen counter to the sides of my body.

"Jesus christ… how can you be so fucking tight Y/N” he sighed, before pulling out of me a bit and resting his forehead against mine.

My eyes looked at him and with my hands I grabbed his waist and pushed him back into me. His moan rumbled inches from my face.

His hand moved up to my hair and he squeezed hard before beginning to thrust hard and fast. We had both grown used to each other's size.

His onslaught made our skins crash against each other. Rafe brought his head to my neck as he gasped. Tickles turned my stomach.

"Your walls were made for me," he murmured against my neck.

His other hand gripped my thigh tightly as his thrusts followed the same quick, hard motion.

My walls began to contract against him, and my lips were sore from pressing against the sweet. Rafe came out of my neck and with the hand he had wrapped in my hair, he grabbed the candy and tossed it to the side.

Our lips immediately collided kissing hard.

His kisses were wet and passionate. Continuing with his thrusts, his fingers quickly massaged my clit.

Rafe contracted inside me without stopping to move. “Shit, Y/N…”

Hearing my name come out of it in such a pornographic way, was what made me break.

We both got to touch our highs and euphoria ran through our blood as he came inside me.

His thrusts ceased but his kisses never stopped. Our tongues were still tangled and our breaths felt rough.

Rafe leaned his forehead against mine as the kiss broke, both of us trying to catch our breaths.

I opened my eyes and Rafe was already looking into mine. Before we broke apart and helped me down from the counter, he kissed me again, but this time was in a sweet way.

He helped me clean up and walked me back to the garden where our families were.

I expected him to stay, but he didn't even say goodbye and he just walked out of the garden before getting on his bike and driving off.

Does he regret it?

It was just sex, but still. A bit of guilt coursed through me as I sat down next to Sarah.

I just fucked her brother.

My best friend's brother.

Sarah snapped me out of my thoughts. "And the sweatshirt?"

"Oh um..."

♡

taglist: @cecespeach @poguesworld @fullkookrafe

tell me if u want to be added ♡

[mikakuna]

JASON SHOCKING PPL WHEN HE TAKES OFF TGE HELMET BC HE IS SUCH A PRETTY BOY YES YESSSS YESSSSS!!!!! I need it, I crave it, and on the topic of scars, I’m remembering this old series I used to read back in middle school, the lunar chronicles? Where there was a character, Winter, who was so beautiful and everyone agreed (she was the Snow White equivalent) and she had three symmetrical scars down the side of her cheek from under her eye down to her jaw and they looked like tears. Idk, Jason like that as well always gets me.

But Jason with no scars too??? Yes yes yes yes want it need it crave it desperate for it to shock ppl, like, I’m constantly in an annoyed at Tim mood cause he’s been everywhere in fics even when you filter him out 😭 and I’ve come across so many “poor baby Tim’s friends the titans HATE Jason for attacking sassy poor scared baby bird Tim and threaten Jason on his behalf when they see him on a mission or at the watchtower or smth” and I have enough spite to want an oh yeah? How about a fic that starts off like it’s going in that direction.

Jason the absolute unbothered king who does not give two shits abt the Titan tower incident cause whatever it was a while ago move on? And he wasn’t fighting a baby he was fighting a dude a year or two younger than him, who had training, and the hubris to think he could beat Jason. It wasn’t a one sided smack down, and of it was ever spun that way it’s because Jason was THAT good, and Tim was too caught up in his prejudices regarding Jason to truly believe Jason had skill. That’s on Tim.

For jason, it happened, but it’s not even that big of a deal it’s barely registering on his radar bc Tim does NOT take up space in his list of priorities. Jays a busy guy. So maybe he’s at the watchtower or wherever with the outlaws (biz and arty cause Roy and Kori are with dicks TT atm, but you just know they are excited to see Jason again. (Jayroy my beloved.) and obvi so is Donna.)

and he gets approached by the comically angry Tim’s teen titans like OoOH we got a bone to pick with you! All that usual woobifying of Tim talk happens like, “so pathetic that you as an adult are coming in and beating on some kid sooo much younger than you, and all that crap,” and arty and biz are bristling here, and Jason just, shakes his head in wtf, takes of his helmet, muttering “this I gotta see with my own eyes” only for him to faintly register the THUNK of Kyle Rayner walking into a window, and the sputtering of Tim’s friends as they trail off in gobsmacked.

When they speak again it’s Kon, clearing his throat, “so like, are you single or…”

Cassie, hissing, “kon!” Sharply elbowing him in his side, still shook that Jason is barely older than them.

Kon, hissing back from the corner of his mouth, eyes still on Jason, cheeks flushed, “what? It’s not like I have a PROBLEM with the crime lord thing, my other dad is Lex Luthor!”

HAHDJD YES I LOVE ALL OF THIS

everyone thinks jason is this horrific monster for fighting tim like tim didn't equally fight back. it is NOT jason's fault tim's weak ass lost against him!!!!

omg the idea of him being so unbothered that he doesn't even remember fighting tim but meanwhile everyone and their moms have that shit in the back of their mind constantly because tim has them all thinking he's a little kid that needs protecting. it's just jason not giving a single fuck and 100% willing to fight him again to see if tim's improved even slightly <3

kon's reaction is so real !!! instant switch up when he realizes that this is not an old man but a beautiful, gorgeously scarred individual he will begin courting instantly. kon's internal thought is to wonder why tim was so upset about jason beating him because he would gladly sign up. my fav trope is everyone realizing how young jason is ♥️

thank you so much for sharing this amazing idea I LOVE ITTTT

[chiriwritesstuff]

The New Girl in Tinseltown; Chapter 3 - Fake Smile

A Dieter Bravo x Actress! Reader PR Marriage AU

Previous Chapter │ Series Masterlist

Chapter Rating: E (18+, MDNI)

Chapter Summary: It's the weekend after, and it's back to reality for Doll and Dieter. Of course, the public is loving their sudden nuptials, but what about the important people in Doll's inner circle? Will they believe her through her lies? Meanwhile, Dieter will stop at nothing to prove that what they have between the two of them is real...

Chapter Warnings and Tags: (Not So) meet cute, PR Relationships, what happens in Vegas ends up in the headlines, Dieter just does not give a FUCK, Smut lite, a look at the inner workings of Tinseltown and the sleaziness it comes with, Dieter and his fucking paintbrush, A hell of a lot of dirty banter, is that yearning?, mentions of devious deeds by sleazy people in show business, we introduce a few more characters, SLOW BURN WE DONT KNOW IT, this is unhinged, no use of y/n, Someone gets a name reveal, No beta we die like men!

Word Count: 7.3K (it seems like I can just go on and on and on...)

Song Inspo: ‘Fake Smile’ - Ariana Grande

The first time you found yourself in hot water with the media, it was all because of a little misunderstanding.

A stupid one, yes, but in Hollywood, things like simple misunderstandings were paydirt in the world of the paparazzi. What was even more fucked up was the more stupid the situation, the more they ate it up, and the more money they could make from you making a complete ass of yourself. 

TMZ News Flash: Up and-coming starlet arrested for assault of a homeless woman, maintains that it was a misunderstanding-

It was a few months into your career, and you found yourself recovering from a harsh casting call that left you feeling defeated. With your cap pulled low and sunglasses shielding your eyes, you dodged the paparazzi lurking outside the building where the audition was being held. Being labeled Hollywood's newest darling had thrust you into the spotlight faster than you could prepare for, and it felt like everyone was just waiting for you to slip up. It was only a matter of time...

“Look, Alex,” you whisper into your phone, pulling your sweater tight around you, and looking at your surroundings nervously. “I’m not going to land every role I audition for, it was just a bad case of nerves… anyway, give Mum and Dad my love, I’m about to head into the next audition-“ you tell your sister, checking your watch as you hurriedly make your way towards your destination a few buildings down. “… I love you, too. Speak soon, alright? Tell Zoe I love her.” 

Lost in your thoughts and the frustration of the day, you hurried along the sidewalk, oblivious to the world around you, when, suddenly, you are accosted by a homeless woman, her cup outstretched, her plea for spare change hanging in the air.

"Some change?" she asks, her cup dangerously close to your face. "I'm cold and hungry-"

You reach into your purse, fumbling for some coins. "Here you go," you offer, dropping them into her cup without a second thought.  

Instead of the dull thud of the change hitting the bottom of the cup, you're met with the tell-tell sound of a tiny splash, the homeless woman's eyes widening in shock and tiny horror.

"What the fuck, lady?" she screams, looking at her ruined cup of coffee. "Just because I'm out here begging for money doesn't mean you can be an asshole about it!"

"Oh shit, I am so sorry... wait, let me just run to Starbucks and get you a new one-" you stammer, your eyes scanning for the nearest coffee shop. You pull your sunglasses down slightly, squinting as you spot a café on the corner.

The woman tsks at you, her expression shifting as she suddenly recognizes you. "Hey, aren't you that actress from that movie-"

Your heart sinks as you freeze, the knot in your throat tightening. "Uh, yeah, that's me," you admit, feeling the weight of the situation bearing down on you. "I really didn't mean to, I thought the cup was empty-"

"No way!" she exclaims, her voice drawing attention as she gestures wildly. "You're one of those celebs with the paparazzi on your tail, aren't you? Hey, you there!" She points to a man hiding nearby with a camera, catching his attention. "She just dumped her change in my coffee cup!"

"No, please," you whisper urgently to the woman, ducking as the man approaches, camera poised. "I just lost them, please, I can't deal with-"

"Doll! Doll!" he shouts, snapping pictures rapidly as you try to shield yourself. "How'd the audition go? What movie was it for?"

"No comment," you respond curtly, raising your arms to block the shots, the homeless woman's protests growing louder in the background.

"She just tossed her coins in my cup, what a clueless bimbo!" she shouts, gripping your hand and pulling you closer. "Hey, where do you think you're going? You still owe me a coffee!"

"Please, I don't want to make a scene-" You struggle to break free, but in the chaos, your purse swings out, accidentally smacking the woman across the face as you tumble to the ground.

"You bitch!" she screams, clutching her cheek. "Did you see that? She attacked me-"

"No, it was an accident, I swear!" you plead, but your voice is drowned out by the relentless clicks of the cameras.

Later, at the police station on La Cienega.  

"Doll," your publicist murmurs as he guides you out the back entrance of the police station, shielding your face from the frenzy of paparazzi. With a protective arm around you, he ushers you into the waiting car, pushing aside the relentless onslaught of cameras.

Once safely inside the Lincoln Continental, you both exhale in relief as Nathan orders the driver to go, the sound of the engine drowning out the chaos outside.

"I warned you about this," Nathan sighs, glancing at his buzzing phone. "I told you things would get crazy after 'Little Star' hit theaters. You can't afford to be careless now. What were you thinking, getting yourself into a situation like that?"

"I don't know, Nate," you sigh, "... maybe I wasn't thinking," you admit, frustration evident in your voice. "How was I supposed to know that trying to do a good deed was going to backfire like this? It's not like I approached her, she took me by surprise!"

"But did you need to assault the poor woman?" he exclaims, his brow raised in disbelief.  

You give him a look, crossing your arms across your chest as you gaze outside the car window. 'I apologized, alright? It's not like she's the one suffering from all of this, I missed the audition, only because I thought I was doing her a favor! Fuck!"

Nathan shakes his head, his expression a mixture of concern and exasperation. "Look. I get it, but you're not just anyone anymore, Doll. Every move you make is under a microscope. We need damage control, fast... and maybe some media training while we're at it. It's like trying to tame a fucking feral cat or something-"

You nod, feeling the weight of his words. "Yeah, I know. We'll figure it out. But for now, let's just get out of here."

As the car pulls away from the chaos outside, you sink back into your seat, feeling the exhaustion seeping into your bones. This was just the beginning of a long battle against public scrutiny, and you knew it was going to be a tough fight.

The next time you found yourself in the headlines for a scandal, it was when the tiny part of your mind decided that it was a good idea to get eloped with a man you barely even know.

Present Day. 8a - Meeting with your Publicist (Nathan 'The Shark' Smith)

WhatsApp Message from Dieter:  Are you there yet? Doll: Just parked. Sitting in my car outside of the studio. What are you doing up so early? I swear, you sleep like the dead. Dieter: Woke up to a cold bed. Maybe fuck the meeting with the Shark and come home. My cock misses you. I miss you.  Dieter: (Sends a picture of said cock, fully erect and the mushroom tip bright red and angry, with Dieter's face in a frown). Doll: I can't keep avoiding him, D. Plus, I have my screen test today. Your cock is just going to have to wait, sorry baby. Dieter: Could you just send me a photo of your tits at least?  

"What the fuck were you thinking, Doll?"

You roll your eyes as you flop onto your publicist's couch, crossing your arms around your chest. "Spare me the theatrics, Nathan. What's done is done, there's no point in dwelling in the past-"

"Do you have any idea just how much your little stunt is going to cost you? We were so close to landing Disney, and now I don't know how I'm going to convince them that you haven't lost your goddamn mind!" Nathan's voice reverberates through the room as he rips his glasses off his face.

"You pay me to protect you, to guide you down the right path, and you go and hook up with the first guy who winks at you? At a goddamn In-N-Out?! And let's not even talk about this sham of a marriage-"

"I was drunk, Nathan! I did what a normal person would have done if they drank as much as I did! And marrying Dieter isn't the end of the world! Maybe you need to loosen up a bit!"

"You don't even know him, Doll! This is as close to career suicide as it gets, and I'm not sure I want to try to salvage this mess!"

"Well, I don't know what to tell you. The damage is done! we just have to deal with it," you say defiantly, pulling out your phone.

"Maybe he roofied you or something," he mutters to himself, pacing back and forth. "If you want, we could take a drug test, maybe prove that somehow... he manipulated you into marrying him. Maybe, we could get the police involved, and you won't have to go through with this shit show! "

"There was no manipulation!" you retort, "these things happen all the damn time! how do you think these 24-hour drive-thru wedding chapels survive? I don't see the problem of two consenting adults agreeing to marry each other!"

"Have you seen what the news outlets have been saying about you? Half of them are already calling it a sham, while the other half thinks that you're knocked up!" he throws a stack of newspaper off his desk, the pages fluttering in the air as they land near where you sit. 

You reach for the top gossip magazine in the towering stack, and your heart sinks as you're greeted by a blown-up photo of you and Dieter in Marcus's convertible. Both of you have flushed faces, yet there's an undeniable spark of happiness in your eyes.  

Hollywood Sweetheart marries Hollywood Lothario Dieter Bravo at a Las Vegas Wedding Chapel after being caught having public sex at popular fast food spot In N Out...

You shake your head at that, tossing it back onto the table, not wanting to think of the implications and emotions behind the photo.  

"I don't give a damn about the news outlets!" you snap back, frustration bubbling to the surface. "Let them speculate all they want. I'm not going to let some gossip rags dictate my life."

Nathan sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. "Doll, you're playing with fire here. You're on the verge of ruining your career, and for what? A drunken mistake?"

"It's not just about that," you argue, feeling the weight of the situation bearing down on you. "There's more to it than you realize."

"Then enlighten me," Nathan challenges, his tone softer now, a hint of concern seeping through his frustration. "Help me understand why you're willing to risk everything for someone you barely know."

"It's like he sees through all the bullshit," you murmur to Nathan, a pang of melancholy coloring your words. "While everyone else is busy painting me as this flawless figure, Dieter's the one who looks beyond the facade. He's not afraid to acknowledge the messy, imperfect parts of me, the ones I try to keep hidden."

With a sigh, you retrieve a cigarette from your purse and light it, the smoke swirling around you in the dimly lit room. "He's seen and experienced things most people shy away from, yet he's still unapologetically himself. There's a raw honesty to him that I find... refreshing."

 He pauses, choosing his words carefully. "Maybe it's best to give it a few months, let people think it wasn't a mistake, and just..." His voice trails off, the unspoken suggestion hanging in the air.

"Why do you think I'm in this industry? I am good at what I do, and besides... I don't think it would be that hard, pretending to be with him. He's... different, like a completely different person when he's with me. He has this way of making me feel-"

"Objectified? Like a good little slut for daddy?"

"Understood, Nathan," you reply sharply, stubbing the cigarette in the ashtray. "He makes me feel seen," you add with a sigh, a hint of vulnerability seeping into your tone. "Do you think we could wrap this up? I've got a screen test to prepare for."

"You sound like you're smitten with something," he snarks, typing away at his computer. "I don't know what to tell you, Doll," Nathan says, his tone laden with concern. "I just can't see this ending well. Dieter's like a disease, spreading toxicity wherever he goes. It's only a matter of time before he poisons you too."

9a. Trailer. 

"Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in, Mrs. Dieter Bravo, in the flesh!"

You put on the best fake smile you could muster, pulling your shades off as you enter your trailer, your 'glam squad' already waiting to help you prep for your screen test. "Good morning to you too, ladies," you reply, taking a sip of your coffee. "Shall we get started?"

"That's it, Doll? you're not gonna give us the scoop?" Your hairstylist teases, "You're just going to pretend like you didn't do something so fucking insane like getting hitched in Vegas? To Dieter Bravo of all people? Are we nothing to you?!" she exclaims, taking you by the shoulders as she playfully shoves you onto her chair.  

"I don't know what else I could tell you besides that yes, I got married over the weekend, I mean, it was all over TMZ for everyone to see-"

"I have to ask," Sofia chimes in, giving you a sly smile as she looks at you through the mirror, combing your hair back into a low ponytail. "Is he as big as they say he is?"

"You know, a normal person would say congratulations to someone who just got married."

"I mean, why waste time with congratulations when we can get down to the nitty-gritty? The people don't give a shit about the pleasantries, we wanna know about the good stuff. So, Spill: is he packing or not?"

"Sorry, Sof, a lady doesn't fuck and tell," you say with a saccharine smile, rolling your eyes.

"I'm shocked, honestly," your PA slash childhood best friend Daisy muses, typing away on her phone as she settles on the chair next to yours. "I had no idea you were seeing Dieter before this past weekend," she says with a hint of what someone could perceive as suspicion. "I'm glued to your side 24-7. Surely, I would have noticed that you were fucking him. Dieter Bravo isn't known for being subtle."

"Just because I live under a microscope doesn't mean I don't know how to keep things on the down low, Daisy. I can have a relationship and keep it secret from the world, celebrities do it all the time."

"What I don't understand is if you were so hell-bent on keeping your relationship with Dieter under wraps in the first place, why have such a shitshow of a wedding?" Daisy challenges, throwing her phone on the workspace in front of you as she turns to look at you, an unimpressed look on her face. "Something doesn't add up."

"What are you trying to say, Dais?" 

"I'm saying, you were seen sucking face with Adam Patterson at Sundance not even two weeks ago, so I think I'm trying to say that you're full of shit," she retorts, her eyes narrowed as she stares you down.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't play dumb, Doll. I know everything about your life, I'm your best friend, for fucks sake! If you were with Dieter Bravo, I would've known. I live right next door to you!"

"Well, maybe I just wanted something that was mine, Daisy. Don't I deserve that?"

She scoffs incredulously. "Does Alex know?"

"Of course Alex knows, she's my sister!" you counter, hoping she doesn't catch the slight waver in your voice, your tell when you're not telling the whole truth.

"BUT I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND! I COME FIRST!"

You're taken aback by Daisy's sudden outburst, Sofia and Poppy exchanging uncomfortable glances as the tension escalates. 

"So that's what this is about, then? You're just pissed because you found out like everyone else on TMZ? I'm entitled to privacy, Daisy! I have secrets. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but a relationship involves two people, and we both agreed to keep it quiet-"

"Oh spare me with that self-righteous bullshit, Doll!" she spits, rising from her seat. "This isn't you! It's like I'm talking to a fucking stranger right now!" She pushes past you as she makes her way out of the trailer. "You can have your secrets, but just remember, I know the ones that COUNT, remember that."

"Dais, come on, I said I'm sorry!" you call out after her, feeling a pang of guilt as she flicks you off and slams the trailer door shut.

"That went well," Sofia observes dryly as she starts working on your hair again. You wince a little as she smooths out the strands, already dreading what might come next.

"Hey Sof, instead of the braid, do you think we could leave my hair down? Maybe add some curls and give it that messy-but-sexy vibe?" you suggest, hoping for a change from the usual routine.

"I mean, yeah, that could look really hot, but Nate told me we were going for a more virginal look-" Sofia begins, her hesitation evident.

"Seriously? My character's supposed to be around my age, not some naive teenager," you argue, feeling exasperated. "Surely she wouldn't still be a virgin."

"You know what? You're right," Sofia concedes, a glint of mischief in her eyes. "Sometimes us girlies just have a tough time finding love, right? That doesn't mean we can't look hot in the process! Wow Doll, look at you, spicing it up a bit! Finally! Should I send my gratitude to your new beau?"

You recall the way Dieter looked at you during the gala, his fingers gently brushing your hair back as he smiled warmly. "I love it when you wear your hair like this," he whispered, pressing a tender kiss to your temple. "It's so sexy, it's more you, you know?"

"Yeah, maybe," you breathe, smiling. "He likes it when my hair is down, but I think I like it, too." 

Sofia nods in agreement, smiling at you through the mirror. "I think I like it, too. Look at you," she teases. "Little miss sweetheart, growing up."

Later, after the screen test.

"Are you out of your mind?" Nathan's screams reverberate through the confines of your car, causing you to wince as you pull out of the parking lot. "I specifically told you we were going for a girl-next-door vibe, and you show up looking like a slut?! I swear, the next time I see Dieter Bravo, I'm wringing his neck!"

"I don't see how this is his fault, though. I told Sofie and Poppy about the edits, and they seemed to be on board," you retort defensively. "I have a mind of my own, Nate, no one is influencing me in my decisions, how many times do I have to tell you that?! I'm not some fucking doll you can play with!"

"Well, the Doll I knew before wouldn't be acting like this! It's like you were body snatched or something!"

"I'll have you know, Favreau loved the change, and thought it made sense for the character!"

"I don't give a damn what Favreau thinks!" Nathan snaps, his voice rising in frustration. "You're letting Dieter run your life, and it's ruining your career, Doll. I won't stand by and watch you throw everything away for some fling!"

"I'm hanging up now, Nathan," you declare firmly, your grip tightening on the steering wheel. "I don't need this right now."

Without waiting for a response, you end the call and toss your phone onto the passenger seat. The weight of Nathan's words lingers, but you push them aside, focusing on the road ahead as you navigate through the winding streets back to Dieter's house.

As you navigate the winding roads back to the Hollywood Hills, the argument with Nathan still ringing in your ears, you can feel your frustration mounting. The car ride is tense, the silence heavy with unspoken words.

Nathan's accusations replay in your mind, his anger leaving you feeling both defensive and conflicted. You glance at your reflection in the rearview mirror, taking in your appearance. Your outfit, chosen in haste, suddenly feels like a glaring mistake.

The sight of Dieter's house coming into view offers a small sense of relief. You pull into the driveway, noticing the moving boxes scattered across the lawn. The realization hits you that this is now your home, too.

Stepping out of the car, you're greeted by the chaos of movers bustling about, carrying boxes and furniture into the house. Dieter appears in the doorway, concern etched on his face as he approaches you.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, reaching out to touch your arm gently. "You look upset."

"Nathan," you sigh, shaking your head. "He's convinced that everything is your fault."

Dieter's expression darkens, his jaw tightening. "I'll have a word with him," he mutters, his tone laced with frustration.

You offer him a weak smile, appreciating his support. As you follow him into the house, the weight of the day's events begins to lift. You walk into the massive living room, a far cry from your own modest LA flat in Silver Lake. Your eyes widen as you take in your knickknacks amongst Dieter’s gothic decor, your collection of Sonny Angels and their smiling faces alongside Dieter’s collection of what you think are first editions of every Edgar Allen Poe book imaginable, in pristine condition, you might add. You chuckle at the juxtaposition, two very different personalities coming together that shouldn’t work in theory, but look harmonious together anyway. You can't help but smile at the sight, touched by Dieter's thoughtful gesture. Taking a deep breath to compose yourself, you turn to him, feeling a rush of gratitude and emotion that you can't quite place. "Dieter..."

"Do you like it?" He asks eagerly, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. You find yourself sinking into the embrace, comforted by his warmth as he pulls you onto the sofa beside him. "I thought you might need a little sanctuary after your meeting with The Shark," he continues, shooting you a playful look. "Marcus did most of the unpacking, but I pitched in! It's like you've always been here, doesn't it feel like home?" His words touch you deeply, and you can't help but wonder if maybe there's some truth to the idea that you belong here with him, despite the unconventional circumstances of your marriage.

You sink into his embrace, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. "I love it," you confess softly, snuggling closer to him as he strokes your hair. "It's cozy, it's... us." You pause, a hint of uncertainty creeping into your voice. "But what if someone sees through our little charade? What if they start asking questions again?"

"I'm glad you love it," he murmurs, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your back. "And trust me, with this setup, no one will doubt us for a second. It's like our little secret hideaway," he adds with a chuckle. "But hey, if anyone tries to interrogate you again, just send them my way. I'll handle them." He flashes you a reassuring smile, his eyes full of warmth.

"Hopefully it doesn't get to that point, but Nate surely thinks I'm close to killing my career," you say, a touch of worry creeping into your voice.

"So I'm guessing your meeting with Nathan didn't go too well then?"

"Oh, he accused you of drugging me at the gala and threatened to go to the police-" you tease, a small smile playing on your lips. "I'm pretty sure he thinks that I've been body snatched or lobotomized-"

"No, you've made a pact with the devil, and now... it seems he's come to collect," he breathes into your ear, his fingers tracing a tantalizing path down to the waistband of your jeans, sending shivers down your spine as they caress your skin. You gasp as he unbuckles your jeans, sliding your zipper down slowly as his hands make their way to your center.

He hums in appreciation as his fingers graze the edge of your panties, a smirk playing on his lips as he feels how wet you are. "What do you say, Mrs. Bravo? Are you gonna let your husband take care of you?"

"... and just how are you planning to take care of me, D?" you moan as his fingers push your panties aside, squirming as they slowly start to part your folds.

"I can think of a few ways, but there's something specific I had in mind," Dieter says with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"What's that?" you ask, intrigued by his sudden excitement.

"I want to show you something," he announces, springing off the couch and grabbing your hand, pulling you to your feet.

Dieter leads you through the spacious home, his steps purposeful and eager. As you approach what seems to be a nondescript door, he turns to you with a smile that hints at anticipation. With a theatrical flourish, he swings the door open, revealing a room bathed in natural light, filled with the scent of paint and creativity.

"This is my sanctuary," he says softly, his eyes gleaming with pride as he gestures for you to enter.

Your heart flutters with excitement and curiosity as you step into the room. Your eyes widen at the sight before you—a massive canvas dominating one wall, covered in vibrant colors and intricate brushstrokes.

"It's breathtaking," you murmur, unable to tear your gaze away from the masterpiece before you.

Dieter steps beside you, his presence comforting yet electrifying. "I painted it for you," he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper.

You're speechless, your heart pounding with a mixture of awe and gratitude. As you take in the details of the painting—a stunning array of orchids in hues of crimson, violet, and gold—you feel a warmth spreading through you.

"It's... it's incredible," you finally manage to say, your voice filled with emotion.

Dieter's eyes meet yours, his gaze intense yet tender. "I wanted to capture the essence of your beauty, the depth of your spirit," he explains softly. "Every stroke, every color—it's all for you."

Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you reach out to touch the canvas, feeling the texture of the paint beneath your fingertips. In that moment, surrounded by the beauty of his creation, you realize just how deeply he sees you, how much he understands.

"I don't know what to say," you whisper, your voice trembling with emotion.

"You don't have to say anything," Dieter replies, his hand finding yours and intertwining your fingers. "Just know that this painting is a reflection of my budding love for you, a testament to the beauty I see in you every day."

"When did you have the time to even paint this? This must have taken months-"

Dieter chuckles softly, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes as he watches your reaction to the painting.

"I've poured my heart and soul into this piece," he admits, his voice tinged with pride. "But it's not quite finished yet."

"What more could you possibly add? It looks perfect to me," you reply, admiring the intricate details of the painting.

"Have you heard of the artist Georgia O'Keeffe?" Dieter asks, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "She had a way of painting flowers up close and personal, in a style that some found suggestive."

"You mean the whole 'vagina flower' controversy?" you chuckle, recalling the scandal. "People always read too much into things. Sometimes a flower is just a flower."

"Yes, but you're more than just a beautiful flower to me," Dieter murmurs as he approaches you from behind, his fingers deftly unbuttoning your shirt one by one.

His touch sends a shiver down your spine as you feel the warmth of his breath against your neck. You lean back into him, feeling his presence enveloping you like a comforting embrace. As your shirt falls to the ground, forgotten, you turn to face him, the intensity of his gaze drawing you in like a moth to a flame.

"Beautiful," he rasps, his hand blindly grabbing a clean paintbrush from his workstation. "What a fucking masterpiece you are, my darling girl."

He rests the paintbrush at the hollow of your neck, his gaze tracing a path down your body as he delicately sweeps it along your clavicle, then down to your sternum. The pressure is just right, sending a shiver down your spine and raising goosebumps across your skin.  

"I've painted many things in my life, but never on a canvas as perfect as you," he murmurs, a small smirk playing on his lips as he trails the brush along the curve of your breasts, flicking it teasingly against your nipple.

You let out a soft moan, your head tilting back as his mouth hovers over the sensitive tip. "Dieter," you plead, your eyes locking with his in desperation. "Please, paint me with your tongue."

Meanwhile, at the LAX baggage claim...

"Eddie! Focus!" Alex screams into her phone as she grabs her luggage at the carousel at LAX. "Do you think she would still be at her flat?"

"I would assume that since she's married the bloke, she would be living with him, surely, as her sister you would know this?" he croons, groaning.  

"Well, I thought she told me everything, but my obvious shock of her being bloody married should tell you why I'm even in LA in the first place! What if she's gotten into those drugs that this Bravo character is into? Did you hear about that rumor with the ferret?"

"Okay, point taken," Eddie replies, clearing his throat. "Tell me why you felt like it was necessary to book the first flight out of Heathrow for this again? Doesn't Daisy live next door to her flat? Why are you asking me when you could just ask her?"

"Ugh, don't even get me started on that twat," Alex moans, rolling her luggage, walking in circles anxiously. "I seriously think she's a lost cause, just mooching off of my poor sister who is too sweet to know better. Do you know that she pays for her flat? Doll already pays her a good salary, I don't see how she has to also pay for her rent-"

Eddie chuckles. "Is that bitterness I sense, my pearl? She is her best friend, it's not completely out of the ordinary. Besides, it's not like your sister didn't set us up with these sweet digs in the city, London isn't exactly cheap, baby. Don't be an ungrateful cunt, honey. Your ugliness is show-"

"Eddie! For fucks sake, focus!" Your sister cuts her boyfriend off, almost bumping into a family as she tries to navigate her way out of the LAX terminal. She winces as a group of tired eyes glare back at her, shrugging her shoulders and mouthing an apology as she walks past. "How in the hell am I going to find out where this Dieter lives? It's not like I could ask the first person I see if they know where Oscar Winner Dieter Bravo lives-"

"Actually," Eddie chuckles through the phone, "That's not a bad idea, Alex. Maybe you should head downtown and grab one of those 'Maps of the Stars' things and catch a ride on a tour bus. Don't they use those double-decker buses? It'll be like you're back in merry ol' London!"

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Do you have any better ideas?" he deadpans, the sounds of the latest football match blaring on the TV. "You could always give Daisy a ring, I'm sure she would love to chauffeur the princess' sister around Los Angeles like the entitled queen she thinks she is-"

"Oh, Piss off Eddie. I'll talk to you later. Say goodnight to Zoe for me, alright? and don't forget to take the trash out in the morning!" 

"I'm not going to tell your fucking dog goodnight, Alex. Just go find your stupid sister, give her a piece of your mind, have her give you some "sorry" money, and then come back home, you know how cranky I get when the laundry piles up-"

"GoodBYE, Eddie." Alex rolls her eyes as she hangs up on her boyfriend of seven years, muttering fucking asshole under her breath as she rifles through her purse for her ciggies. She takes a long drag as she looks out into the sunny sky of Los Angeles, a welcome change to the dreariness of London. She checks her phone once more, a photo of two smiling teenage girls smiling back at her.  

She smiles at the memory of the day when the photo was taken, the day of your adoption into her family after what happened before your abrupt removal from your family home.  "We're officially sisters, Baby Doll! You're finally free!" Alex exclaims, her arms around your shoulders as you laugh in glee "I'm so grateful for everything, Alex! For you and your family… taking me in after what happened at the chur-" She shakes out of the memory, checking the time. Taking another drag, she presses on your contact and takes a deep breath, the line trilling in her ear.  

The person you're trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone-

"Fucking hell, Doll," she groans, shoving her sunglasses onto her face as she turns to the man that is looking at his phone next to her. 

"Excuse me, Sir-"

"Those things will kill you, you know," the man replies, not bothering to look up from his screen. 

"Haha, yeah, listen- would it be easier to catch a cab, or is there some sort of rail system I could take into the city from here?" she asks, adjusting her tote bag on her shoulder.

"I could tell you, but I honestly don't care to," the man retorts, finally raising his eyes to meet hers. He pockets his phone into his pocket and walks away, shaking his head in annoyance. "Fucking tourists-"

"Oi! Go fuck yourself!" Alex screams back at the man, giving him the bird as he jumps into an Uber. Her eyes widen at the sight of a cherry red double-decker bus, 'Tour of the Stars!' emblazoned off the side of it.  

"Holy fuck, Eddie- you're a fucking genius!" she exclaims to herself, hurriedly pulling her luggage to the back of the line of excited tourists. "Who would have thought that bastard could think of something so brilliant?!"

"Do you think we'll get a glimpse of Doll now that she married Dieter Bravo?" a man asks his friend as they wait in line. "Did you see that video of the two of them at the In n Out? her tits looked so massive in his hands!"

"What a lucky bastard, right? I bet she's such a dirty girl under that sweet fucking exterior of hers, what I would do to be able to tap that!" his friend replies, chuckling at himself, smiling like he's said something so fucking profound. "Bravo must live in that sweet pussy of hers, she must taste so fucking sweet, maybe we should go up to his front door and ask to see if he was interested in a gang bang, it's not like he hasn't been caught in one before-"

"Oi!" Alex exclaims, her face red with frustration as she points at the group of men. "Watch your fucking mouth! That's my fucking sister you're talking about!"

"Yeah, and I'm the President of the United States," the man replies, sneering at her. "Doesn't your mommy teach you it's rude to eavesdrop on other people's conversations?" he scoffs, high-fiving his friend. "If she was your sister, why are you in line for 'Tour of the Stars'? I know girls can be crazy, but you're living in la-la-land, lady!"

"Yeah? Well, I wanted to surprise her," Alex retorts, her demeanor growing flustered under the scrutiny of the group of men.

"Well, hate to break it to you, but I don't quite see the resemblance, sweetheart. Maybe if you got some plastic surgery, and I squint my eyes just right, maybe it could happen for you."

As they board the bus, Marty, the tour guide, announces enthusiastically, "Alright folks, buckle up! We're about to embark on a star-studded adventure, touring the homes of Hollywood's elite!"

The men who had been teasing Alex hoot and holler in excitement, egging Marty on with raucous cheers.

"We'll be swinging by Dieter Bravo's estate up in the Hills," Marty continues, adjusting his microphone. "It's one of the hottest properties in town, folks! Who knows, maybe we'll catch a glimpse of the man himself or even his famous wife! They just got married in Las Vegas over the weekend, how exciting, right?"

Alex rolls her eyes at the mention of Doll, already dreading the attention her sister's marriage attracts. But she stays silent, focusing on keeping her composure amid the rowdy crowd.

As the bus winds its way through the glamorous streets of Hollywood, Marty regales the passengers with tales of celebrity scandals and triumphs. An hour into the tour, they finally stop in front of a lavish mansion nestled among the hills.

"This is it, folks! The home of the one and only Dieter Bravo!" Marty announces, his voice filled with excitement.

Alex's heart skips a beat as she recognizes your BMW X4 behind the gates and manicured hedges. With a surge of adrenaline, she jumps to her feet, shouting over the din of the other passengers, "Stop the bus!"

"No can do, lady. Don't want to risk another lawsuit," Marty replies with a chuckle.

"But she's my sister! Please, just for a moment, I need to see her."

But Marty remains firm, his tone unwavering. "I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't make any exceptions. And even if she were your sister, why would you be on this tour bus?"

He glances at Alex skeptically, a furrow forming on his brow. "Seems like we're attracting all sorts of characters today," he muttered under his breath. "Crazier by the minute."

Feeling frustrated and desperate, Alex makes a split-second decision. "Oh, fuck this-" She lunges for the door handle and, without hesitation, jumps out of the bus.

"Hey!" Marty screams, the bus grinding to a halt. "Get back in here!" he yells as she slams onto the hot asphalt.  

"No, can't, shant!" she screams back at the bus, "I won't tell it was you if you just drive away, no harm no foul?"

"... good enough for me!" Marty yells back, motioning to the tour bus driver. "onto the next one!" 

The group of men who had teased her earlier chuckled. "Good luck finding your 'sister,'" one of them jeered sarcastically as the bus pulled away.

"Fuck, why do I keep putting myself through this?" Alex groans, wincing as she tries to steady herself, her scraped knees and wrists a testament to her rough landing. With determination in her stride, she approaches the gates, her heart pounding in her chest. Surprisingly, she finds them slightly ajar, allowing her to slip through the heavy iron. Wheeling her luggage along, she heads toward what she hopes is the front door and tentatively knocks. "Hello?"

Growing impatient, Alex begins to pound on the door. "Hey, I know you're in there! Open the damn door!" she screams, frustration evident in her voice. As the door suddenly swings open, she's met with the sight of a handsome man, his annoyance matching her own.

Marcus narrowed his eyes at her, his arms crossed over his chest. "Can I help you?"

"Oh—" Alex gasped, clearly flustered and embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Sir," She glanced back at the map, her eyes darting around her surroundings. "I thought this was the residence of Dieter Bravo. I must be mistaken—"

"Listen, lady, are you in need of medical assistance? Do you need me to call the rehab center that you clearly looked like you escaped from?"

"I beg your pardon?" Alex snaps, her frustration evident in her clenched fists as she strides back up to the man in front of her, her patience wearing thin. She takes a deep breath, mentally preparing herself to deal with this arrogant jerk. It's such a shame such a beautiful man like him is such a tool, she thinks to herself through her annoyance.

"Look, I've just had a grueling flight from Heathrow after a massive row with my boyfriend. He can't fathom why I needed to fly thousands of miles to LA to see my sister, who's apparently decided to get married by some Elvis impersonator on a whim. Clearly, she's lost her mind, and I've come all the way here to figure out just what the hell has gotten into her! So, if you're not Doll—"

"You're Doll's sister?" Marcus asks incredulously, his eyes narrowing.

"Yes, I'm Doll's sister. What does it look like?"

Marcus scoffs, his eyes disbelieving as they roam over her figure, his smirk growing wider. "Sure, if you're her sister, then I'm the queen of England."

"What is that supposed to mean, you prick?"

"Listen, don't get me wrong, you are a gorgeous woman, but I don't see the family resemblance."

"She's my adoptive sister, you moron!"

"That's what they all say, sweetheart."

"OH!" Your voice pierces the silence of the mansion, both Alex and Marcus startled by the sudden outburst. "Fuck Dieter, just like THAT!"

"Oh bugger this!" Alex exclaims, pushing Marcus aside as she storms through the mansion. "For fucks sake! Christabella!" she shouts, opening up every door she comes across. "BELLA! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" She shouts, making her way towards Dieter's studio. "BELLA! I KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE!"

"Hey!" Marcus shouts back at Alex, his composure barely hanging on by a thread. "You can't just enter someone's private property, I could have you arrested!"

"Yeah, well just call my lawyer, then. He is on my sister's payroll, after all!" she sing-songs, making her way up to the door leading to Dieter's studio. "BELLA!" she shouts as she opens the door, gasping at the sudden sight of the both of you stark naked on the floor, with Dieter railing you from behind. You scream at the sudden intrusion, scrambling to cover yourself.

"Dieter," Marcus huffs, "I am so sorry, she just came storming in, saying that shes-"

"Alex!" you squeak, "What are you doing here?"

Dieter looks back at the angry face of your sister, his own expression shifting to confusion. "Who the hell are you?"

"Christa-fuck-abella Martin," Alex seethes, "What on earth has gotten into you?"

"... and who the hell is Christabella?" Dieter asks out loud, rolling himself on the floor in exhaustion.

You grimace as your sister rolls her eyes, throwing Dieter's discarded robe at the both of you. "Please don't tell me you married my sister in that hell hole and you don't even know her real name, mate."

Taglist:@yxtkiwiyxt @skysmiller @picketniffler @readingiskeepingmegoing @islacharlotte

@drewharrisonwriter@missladym1981@amyispxnk@thespookywookies@stevie75

@mysterious-moonstruck-musings@daydream-believer19@survivingandenduring@darkheartgatita @gobaaby-blog-blog

[averyangrypossum]

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the

Flowerbroadcast AU!

Based on the two drawings I did of a fankid for the ship radiostatic.

The full-body one

And the one with both Vox and her

And now, I’m gonna tell you all about it and exactly who the fuck this little kid is.

Lotus is the daughter of Vox (as you can tell) and Alastor and is six years old. She was created shortly after Vox and Al broke up, oh yeah I should probably talk about their relationship status. Vox and Alastor, unlike in canon, weren’t only close friends but were dating at some point, mostly because Alastor wanted to manipulate Vox’s feelings to where he’d be more compilable but accidentally took it too far, and since Vox is a piss baby Alastor decided to entertain Vox for a while.

Was this relationship healthy?

NO!

Would Vox say these were the best years of his afterlife?

Yeah.

But anyways, in this au when Vox asks Alastor to “join his team” he was actually proposing and Alastor finally realized,

“Shit maybe this has gone out of hand” and breaks it off with Vox which leaves Vox heartbroken and with an incel breakdown. Now instead of trying to move the fuck on, he has our little darling Lotus, who he has trying to fill the hole that Alastor left.

So obviously having a child for that reason isn’t going to make you a good parent.

Lotus’ relationship with the Vees are as follows in the particular order.

1 Velvette: She does Lotus’s hair everyday and picks out outfits for her to post on her social media before Lotus immediately undos everything that Velvette does and just goes for pigtails and her nightgown. Velvette has wine aunt energy and is probably the only one of the Vees to know how to talk and get through to Lotus.

2 Valentino: Surprising I know, but Lotus doesn’t know what he does to his workers, she knows what he does for work but grew up with thinking that was just something normal since Valentino was never hush hush about his job around her much to Vox’s dismay. Valentino isn’t a big fan of children and doesn’t hang around her often, but sometimes he’ll draw along side her while bitching about a particular show she’s watching even though it’s literally made for kids.

3 Vox: Wow, how bad do you have to fuck up for a pimp who hardly spends time with her to be ranked higher than her own father?? Vox, despite making the conscious decision to have her, he isn’t around like at all. Hes a workaholic through and through, and mostly leaves her with nannies and Velvette. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her. Au contraire he loves her with all his heart and soul. Will give her anything except quality time. He uses her more of an accessory than a child.

Now how exactly Lotus was made is up to you.

A robotic creation Vox made? Sure!

Some voodoo magic shit? Yeah!

Some weird magic thing where she kinda just poofed into existence? Why not!

Mpreg? I mean, do what you wanna do ig?

Cuz it really doesn’t matter!

This whole au starts with Lotus running away from the Vee tower to explore hell since she's basically Rapunzel. She gets lost and terrorized by sinners until our deer Alastor rescues her. Seeing his chance to promote the hotel he takes her there where she is offered to stay there by Charlie when Lotus complains about how bad her dad is. She graciously accepts because shes only six but is going through her “My dad hates me and I hate him” era. Which I mean…I would get that impression too if I didn’t see my dad that much.

Wait my dad lives across the country…don't talk to me rn I’m busy dyeing my hair black and becoming emo 🖤

But anyways she stays there while Vox is loosing his fucking mind, and becoming more mentally unstable.

Meanwhile! She's having the time of her life with the hotel's residents and a new father figure who treats her well and pays attention to her! Alastor! Now Al doesn’t know she is his kid, but that doesn't stop him from being a better dad than Vox out of spite!

Anyways, thats all I have, for now! Stay tuned my friends~

[peachykeenman]

I'm sorry for not responding at all my inbox is absolutely flooded xd/pos

Thank yall for so many asks but damn my soul left my body tryna give em all answers while trying to keep some semblance of a plot lmaooo

Keep it up

I'll eventually get my goofy ah up and answer stuff as the tism shoe maker again I swear give me some business days 🙏

Uhh have Elenois and Robertsky ship kids meanwhile

Amen (green shirt kid) and Amos (gun kid ahahah ammo, Amos I'm funny)

For shits and giggles Amos's Doppler is called Chews and Amen's dopple is called Crusty

They inherit their dad's wet depraved hamster energy, except Amen wants to be cool like his mom and tries to make Amos toughen up too, but Amos is satisfied with his little pathetic soft self

The characters on the very left and right are nightmare forms (Amos's nightmare form is called Abel and Amen's nightmare from is called Cain 🙏)

They're like 12 ish I assume

[confusedspaceotter]

TUA seaon 4 recap because fuck Netflix

Hi if you are reading this welcome to I hate Steve Blackman/Netflix but I still wanna know what happened in The Umbrella Academy season 4 club, couple things I should probably warn you before we begin

spoilers ahead(just in case you didn’t read the title this IS the pissing on the poor website

I will be very angry and biased because Netflix took the wife and kids i will hate this guy forever I’m really good at remembering a grudge(no hate to the cast tho they did their very best and defo deserve more

In this recap I will go over the main plots of season 4 with a brief mention of the side plots, do beware some of the plot/shit characters did makes absolutely no sense but hey I'm just the messenger please be mad at Netflop for that

Season 4 Episode 1, The Unbearable Tragedy of Getting What You Want(aka us getting season 4 but only 6 episodes)

After loosing their powers when they came back to the main timeline last season, the brellies have lived the past 6 years somewhat peacefully, Luther is a stripper now, Diego and Lila is married with 3 kids, Allison is now a B list celebrity living with Claire, Klaus is sober and a germaphobe, Five is working for the CIA(bro is too busy working to cut his hair i hate it), Ben is a crypto scammer who just got out of prison, Viktor owns a bar and keeps getting dumped by girls(sure whatever)

The new big bad this season is a pair of wacky scientists named Gene and Jean, they are the leader of this cult called The Keepers who are trying to make “The Cleanse” happen, which is just a fancy name for the apocalypse.

Okay so basically this episode Vikor got kidnapped by random guy(I’m not even gonna mention his name he’s just here for plot so I don’t care about him) on his way to Diego and Lila’s kids birthday party, the siblings go and rescue him, random guy said hey actually i'm a big fan of yall if you can rescue my daughter Jennifer from a remote location I will be forever grateful, the group was like nah we are actually powerless now but Five was like wait we are doing this your welcome because he found a bottle of marigold(the thing that gives them their powers) in the belongs of the missing daughter, after this they went to dinner and Ben drugged everyone (except Klaus coz he didn't drink it) with the Marigold so now they are gonna get their powers back.

there's also this side plot where Lila and Five went undercover to investigate The keepers, Lila didn't tell Diego so he thought Lila was cheating on him with some guy whos actually just Five(buddy you are not gonna believe this in like 4 episodes this came true I hate it here)

Season 4 Episode 2, Jean and Gene(they were a cute couple but they will NEVER be Hazel and Cha Cha)

After they got their powers back they went to find random guy but he's missing, leaving a hint about New Grumpson, Maine so the siblings went there roadtrip style(their car also blasting baby shark non stop its not relevant to the plot i just think is funny), the siblings arrived to this small town, Ben was like you know what I’m done with yall bye, when he tries to leave he met Jennier in disguise, they have a chat, fall in love immediately(talk about speed dating am i right), the towns people learned that the siblings are here for Jennier so they pull the guns out and starts shooting,turns out they are all working for deadbeat dad of the century Reginbald Flopgreeves, so the siblings fight with their new and slightly improved superpowers(that apparently drained the vfx budget because the final big bad is ugly asf??? the same show that gives us Pogo?? whatever man)

Meanwhile Klaus was chilling in the car, a fake Jennifer who's pretending to be the real Jennifer asks Klaus for help, then shoots him before the siblings can stop her, Klaus told the siblings he doesn't want to get his powers back and dies, but Allison don’t take no for an answer and water board klaus with the marigold, Klaus came back from the dead, and then Jean and Gene crash into the siblings, kidnapping Jennier.

Back to the Lila Diego Five cheating side plot (ugh), during the roadtrip, Diego tells Five he thinks Lila is cheating on him, Five is like don't worry about it buddy it won’t happen for another 3 episodes (okay the last part was me but Five did tell Diego it’s probably nothing) and Lila overheads their conversation and thank Five for not exposing her GIRL JUST TELL YOUR HUSBAND STOP BEING SHADY *sigh*

Oh and Five keeps teleporting to this subway station that have trains going to different timelines but we never found out who the fuck build this so dont ask me idk either

Season 4 Episode 3, The Squid and the Girl (The plot and the holes because nothing makes any sense anymore)

We start with a flashback to young Jennifer being rescued from giant squid but WE NEVER GOT THE EXPLINATION GIRL WHY ARE YOU INSIDE THAT FUCKING SQUID so we are just gonna move on focus people we are half way though the season shit is about to go down(unfortunately)

After Jean and Gene kidnapped Jennifer, the siblings starting doing what they do best, arguing with each other, this is when Klaus give us the greatest summary of the show,

Klaus then leaves the group, Ben also was like nah fam im out for real and then leaves. The remaining siblings decided to split into two groups, Five Diego Lila went to The Keepers HQ to investigate, Viktor Luthor Allison went to find dear old dad Reggaeton Hargriefs. So Diego finds out that The Keepers have a document about Brellie!Ben’s death aka The Jennifer Incident.

Ben who’s getting tf out, discovers he got hand mouth foot disease with rgb red lights on his hand(see kids this is why you don't touch hands with girls before you get married) random guy pops out and was like bro did you find my daughter, Ben was like yeah I did and I also fall in love with her, random guy was like good good now use your squidar to find her so Ben did just that and rescue Jennifer from Jean and Gene.

For Viktor Luther Allison, they went to a giant mansion that their father owns, expecting to have to fight their way in, but the guards there are like, ah yes master Vikor please welcome in we have been waiting for you, turns out in this timeline Abigail, Rickroll Harkonnen’s wife was still alive and is the one who runs the house + her husband, so the kids were like ma’am your husband is a dick to us in another timeline can you tell him to shut up and help us, she agreed and he obeyed.Now the kids(Luther Allison Diego and Viktor) are putting on their thinking caps to restore their memory of The Jennifer Incident(because dead old dad erased their memory of it talk about childhood erasure)

*sigh* so the Five Diego Lila subplot, when Diego was investigating in the Keepers HQ, Five and Lila blink to the subway station, they got on a train and went to the original apocalypse but five was just like meh guess this wasn’t THAT traumatic pffff I only got stuck here for 40 years no biggie anyway time to get on the train and go home I guess, this shouldn’t affect me in any shape of form given that you know I’m so calm and collected when I first got here :))))))))) yes i'm being sarcastic NO ONE should be this calm and collected here okay.

Diego and Lila also talk things out, Lila apologizes and then says she wants to take a break from their marriage(sure lady whatever

no im NOT even gonna mention what Klaus has been up to, for me he went home to Claire bear and talk shit out with her end of story.

Season 4 Episode 4, The Cleanse (maybe why the Keepers what to make the cleanse happen so badly is because they saw ep 5 and be like nope go to hell yall)

We got a flashback to what happened with brellie!Ben, turns out he was murder by Regglodocus Hippocampus, our beloathed deadbeat dad of the century on a mission where the umbrella academy is securing a package(Jennifer in a box) but they touch hands so bro just straight up kills them both in front of the siblings(bro can we delete you from existence I hate this man with a passion)

The siblings are obviously pissed, AbiFail then explained that it's not her asshole husbands fault, years ago she created the marigold and unknowingly also created Durango, when these two particles touch hands, its gonna end the world for the billionth time(aka the cleanse), this also what happened to their homeworld, and it's gonna end earth if they don't separate Ben and Jennifer(because she got a shitton of durango in her).

Ridiculous Hepatitis then said we must go to kill one of them to stop the world from dying and Viktor is like NOT ON MY WATCH I WILL SAVE BEN and they have a little showdown, Vikor wins(duh) and they are like let's just check this crime scene Ben created last episode when he came to save Jennier okayyy.

The siblings got there + flop dad, Lila told Five hey what if we go back in time with the trains and stop the Jennifer incident from happening in the first place and five is like alright bet, but we cant tell Diego for plot reasons so Imma tell my CIA boss to take Luther and Diego to CIA HQ and babysit them( sis just tell him Diego might be a dumbass but he’s a dumbass that listens smh)

Anyway the siblings split into teams again, Viktor and Renaissance Harrypotter went to track Ben and Jennifer, Five and Lila got on the time train, Luther and Diego were at the CIA, Allison went to save Klaus from the TUA writers.

oh and Ben and Jennier fucks and it kills everyone within the radius lmao

Season 4 Episode 5, Six years, Five months, and two days ( just end my suffering rn)

We start with a montage of Five and Lila being stuck in train hell, unable to find the right train home so they are kinda just traveling from timelines to timelines, they decide to stop and stay in one of them with a strawberry farm(ew), and the most terrible thing ever fucking happend, apprently in these six years they caught feelings and they kissed fucking hell son of the bitch steve blakman I am in your fucking walls I fucking hate it here why can’t good thing last fuck off five would NEVER do this to his siblings this motherfucker spend 40 years and the entirety of season two trying to save his siblings why the fuck would he kiss his sister in law I hate it here

also #justicefordolores

BUT this isnt it

One day he went out for scraps and he found his old note book with the instructions on how to get home, he stashes it and only tell Lila about it 5 fucking months later

5 FUCKING MONTHS

I don't even know what to say let's just get over it okay

so yeah after this they call things off and just went home

Back to Vikor, he calls Ben with the help of dad and tells him hey buddy you have to stop the world and stop your feelings for Jennifer because you are gonna end the world if you stay with her, Ben refuses saying that he’s never been better(sure buddy) Ben and Jennifer plans to run away but Jennifer felt sick so they stop and went to a random mall to hide/ask for help.

Luther and Diego did absolutely nothing in CIA HQ and they realized they were being babysat so they dipped, oh and they also fought a bunch of people in the process which is cool I guess.

Season 4 Episode 6, End of the Beginning(thank fuck is over I’m freeee)

The Keepers are guarding the mall that Ben and Jennifer are in because they are stupid. Viktor and dad arrived at the scene, Viktor convinced dad to let him extract the durango out of Ben so he doesn’t have to kill him, dad said yeah sure whatever man, so Viktor sneaks in the building.

Meanwhile the rest of the siblings gathered at Lila and Diego’s house, Diego clock those cheating bitches immediately and Diego confronts Lila and she finally confesses but before he could beat the shit out of Five, they saw what's going on with Ben on the news and went to the mall.

Vikor got into the building, Ben is now a glowing clay human hybrid(ewwwww

Vikor tries to extract the durango out of Ben but he ran out of time, Dad’s sniper shoots Ben but before it hits, Jennifer and Ben touch hands for one last time and they transforms into ugly cgi clay monster big bad of the season(like wtf is this

the sibling starts fighting the Bennifer monster, Diego and Five didn’t get the memo so they fought each other instead.

So yeah we are fucked, AbiFail told Ratsass Hankercheif shes the one behind the keepers and she’s trying to right her wrongs by ending the world this way(selfish prick) and Reggie said alight that defo excuses every shitty thing you do man I got a really good wife and they both got sucked into the Bennifer monster(your redemption arc flopped btw I still hate you)

The siblings went back to the academy, thinking about what they can do to stop the Bennifer monster, Five went to the train station again, and discovers a deli run by other Fives, and one of the five told him babes, we are NEVER gonna succeed in stopping the apocalypse because the timeline is broken(it's only supposed to be one) and the existence of marigold is what shattered the timeline so we gotta gotta get sucked into the Bennifer monster and volia marigold + durango = kaboom(they will cancel each other out) BUT the siblings will cease to exist(coz their mum got exposed to marigold and birthed them so no marigold no siblings)

Lila and Allison decided to ship their children and family to the train station and send them on one of the trains to create a paradox I mean to protect them and the siblings got absorbed by the Bennifer monster, the timeline was fixed, none of us are happy, we ended up worse than we started.

The END.

hope yall are okay after reading this, no hate towards the cast whatsoever I 100% blame the writer and Netflix for this , fuck them and uh here’s a virtual hug to yall, peace out.

[zombu7]

I like drarry... it just sucks I got into it so late. (rant)

I've been looking away and avoiding getting into them for the looongggest time but finally started appreciating them more as a serious couple. I realized what kept me away is because sooo much of drarry fanwork is mischaracterized to hell and back. Also, I've been learning about personality/behavior recently so it's just opened my eyes to characterization more.

Most people like bttm DM more so they want HP to chase after him, make HP the one that's bothering draco, etc. When in canon it's the exact opposite... Draco was always the one looking for opportunities to bully and go after Harry.

They always turn HP into an extroverted Jock too, which, Harry definitely isn't HAHA. Harry's introverted, he's a lovable brat with authority issues, his personality type is ISFP. Draco’s the extroverted one (ESTJ) he’s just flustered easily and picky about people because of his status. Look up an ESTJ male personality and that’s him.

I realize they essentially just have James Potter but give him HP's name... which is funny because James' personality is closer to Draco's (ESTP). So, they actually give HP more of draco's qualities alksdfjksd. Literally just making HP have all the traits draco canonically has?? What's with the personality switches?

One of the topics in canon was about how HP kept being seen as a carbon copy of his father when he rlly... isn't. There was so much of this, I didn't like it, I avoided it like the plague. I'm here to read about Harry, not his dad.

In the end, I think it's because people actually just like the idea and "look", rather than the actual characters. Which, when you're trying to find good characterization because you actually like the characters and the ship, sucks.

It's funny because I actually think the only one's who characterize Draco properly are dramiones, and it's probably bc Hermione and Draco both have the same personality type. Meanwhile in drarry it's hard because they either woobify DM too much, or make him too much like Tom Riddle.

Talking about this bc I got rude anons on twitter shitting on my characterization because I drew HP not liking draco and referred to Draco as a tsundere simp, canon btw, LOL. (bully pulling on crush's pigtails)

You can like whatever but if you’re going to complain abt my portrayal in my inbox, when you swap their personalities and turn HP into some jock cut-out that wants to get his dick wet after shy tsundere “actually nice” DM, then maybe think twice. Just mind your own business.

Anyway, If Harry not immediately liking Draco & Draco actually being the one who's after Harry pisses you off (again, canon) then maybe these aren’t the character cut-outs you have of them in your head :) wake up call <3

I draw HP disliking DM and suddenly it’s “Ur ruining Harry’s character” I’m about to ruin his tight little hole stfu

[justagamerandaweeb]

Loss. - Tanjiro x (Y/N) (Platonic) Modern AU!

Synopsis: Tanjiro tries to make you crack and let it out.

Scene: you both are in a car driving after arguing with the Hashira group (specifically Sanemi).

Tw: loss of a friend, suicide mention, mentions of wrist cutting.

Tanjiro looks to his right to see (Y/N)'s hands gripped on the wheel, where their knuckles are turning white, showing clear signs of non-verbal anger. He touched their shoulder, and they rolled their shoulder, making Tanjiro's hand slide off. "C'mon, (Y/N), I'm sure Sanemi didn't mean—"

"Mean what? Say that my friend was right to end themselves in order to leave my ass? Because he said that with no hesitation. Not a single thought went up in his head for him to not say that." (Y/N) interrupted Tanjiro, showing clear signs of abhorrence in their voice. "Like, how fucking disconnected with society do you have to be to straight up tell someone that to their face?"

"I know you're angry, but, I'm sure he'll apologize. He has to otherwise the others will hate him for it." Tanjiro spoke out, trying to give Sanemi the benefit of the doubt as he was in the moment arguing with them. "I have every fucking right to be angry! I've known them for fucking years, and he doesn't know jack shit about what we went through together!" (Y/N) said, with their voice breaking little by little.

Tanjiro puts his hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder again, but this time, they didn't roll their shoulder. Tanjiro took this a s an opportunity for him to talk as he says, "(Y/N), what happened to (F/N) isn't your fault. Not you, not Sanemi, not Inosuke, not even the delinquents at our university. You're not the only one who's dealing losing someone. I mean, my dad..."

"Yes, your dad died from an illness that gave him a slow and painful death! The only difference is that your Dad encouraged you to be a better person and treat others with respect! Meanwhile, I never knew my dad, and my mom is dying from a fucking genetic disease that has no cure! It doesn't make it any better at the fact that my friend killed themselves because people pushed them too far!"

"I... So, who do you want to blame?"

"Myself, if that wasn't fucking obvious!" (Y/N) said as tears started to streak down their face. Tanjiro was shocked at this, because he could understand if they'd blame the loss of their friend on the people that antagonized them, but they blame themselves? Over something they had no control over?

"You blame yourself? Really?"

"Yes, I do. I decided to be a stubborn dickhead about my friend's mental health, even though they had cuts on their wrists, and they told me not to worry about it. All because they had therapy, and was "getting better"."

Tanjiro was shocked at the fact (Y/N) said that to him. Even when they had cuts, they told them not to worry about it. They took that into consideration, and rolled with it, until it was too late.

"My friend's Mom actually blames herself. She's a single parent who had a lot of shit on her plate trying to live in a stable environment for them, and her younger children. She was so busy with everything that she couldn't find the time to check on her own child. Sometimes, I blame myself for that."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, Tanjiro, I do. Do you know what it's like to see a text that was sent at two in the morning that reads, "I'll miss you." after waking up three hours later? Do you know what's it like feeling someone's parent hugging you at a funeral and repeating, "I'm sorry." to you like it's their fault? Do you?"

Tanjiro started to get a little bit teary-eyed at those questions, as in a honesty, no, he hasn't. Outside of his dad, he's never lost anyone important to him, and it didn't feel fair to him, he's been blessed with the life that was given to him while (Y/N) was living the exact opposite.

"Their birthday was fucking yesterday. No one else but me, their mom, and their siblings came to visit their grave. Some fucking friends I have that won't there to comfort us." (Y/N) said as they wiped their face and eyes, and sniffled.

His hand from (Y/N)' shoulder, to their back, as he caresses them and says, "No, I don't know what it's like to go through all that. But I can imagine how much pain you're going through. I understand the pain you're dealing with if I went through it through your perspective, but—"

"You see? It's always that kind of bullshit that people say! "I know what you're going through. I understand your pain. I can see it through your perspective." How about you shut your fucking mouth when you say dumb shit like that? Because no, you don't understand what I'm going through. If you did, you wouldn't be saying the most basic shit just to sympathize with me!" (Y/N) bellowed as they were about to hammer fist the steering wheel, but let out a sigh of sadness as they lowered their hand down.

(Y/N) decided to park at some sort of supermarket as they turned the car off, and laid their head down on the steering wheel. They started to elicit sounds of soft crying as their forearms were crossed together, dangling. "Why couldn't it have been me?" They whimpered out as their breath started to hiccup.

Tanjiro wiped his eyes as he spoke up to (Y/N), "Now, I know you don't mean that. Would you have been happy if you were to take your own life, and left them alone?"

"If it meant my friend still being on this planet, yes. I have nothing else in this world. As everyone I have cared for has either forgotten about me, or straight up left me. So that already tells me that I'm not good enough to be anyone's friend. But they knew what it was like, and the bond that we created was so genuine, it was like I had a real friend. And now they're gone..."

"But you're still here. You still have a life ahead of you. You still have time to make new friends and make good memories. It's what they would want you to do. Move on, honor their memory, make them proud." (Y/N) looked at him with red puffed eyes and sniffed the snot in their nose. "Let me drive. The least I can do is give yourself some rest as we drive back to campus." (Y/N) continued to stare at him for a couple of seconds before they unbuckled their seatbelt and opened the door.

Tanjiro took off his seat belt hopped in the driver's seat and turned the car on as he put on the seatbelt. (Y/N) opens the passenger door and sits down as they close the door and buckle up. They laid their head against the window as Tanjiro put his hand on their shoulder and said, "It's gonna be alright, I promise." He puts the car out of park, and left the parking lot as he went back on the road, and drove.

A couple minutes after the argument, they both arrived at the residential hall of the campus. Tanjiro puts the car in park, and took the keys out of the ignition as he looked to his left to see (Y/N) asleep. He softly shook them and they woke up. Their eyes were still red, with little bags under their eyes as they asked, "We're here?"

Tanjiro nods as (Y/N) lets out a sigh of disappointment as they unbuckle their belt, and got out of the car. Tanjiro followed suit as he followed (Y/N) and walked up the mini-stairs of the building's main door. (Y/N) grabbed the knob and struggled to open the door as it was looked. Tanjiro tapped their shoulder as they turned back to see Tanjiro with the keys in his hand.

They grabbed it, picked out the key for the main door, and unlocked it. "Thanks." "Anytime." Tanjiro responded with a soft smile on his face. (Y/N) extended their hand out to him for a handshake, but he politely declined as he decided to go for a hug instead. (Y/N) was a little stunned at this, but still accepted it as they wrapped their arms around him too.

They both stayed like that for the last 15 seconds, before Tanjiro disconnected himself from them. He softly puts his hand on his shoulder as he says, "You'll get through this, alright? You're stronger than you think you are. And hey, if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone, don't be afraid to call any of us. Me, Tomioka-san, Rengoku-san, any one of us, we'll be there, okay?"

They softly nodded as they huskily said, "Okay." Tanjiro softly smiles as he pats their shoulder and says, "Take care of yourself, alright?" And walks off. He looks back and waves goodbye at them, as (Y/N) follows suit before going inside. Hang in there, (Y/N). We'll make sure we make you feel special.

My first angst, and it's something I relate to on a personal level. Never thought I would be making angst, considering my account, but, here we are. Don't ask for a part two, by the way, I'm not going to.

[midnighttheroies]

Helluva Boss Theory “Stolas and Blitz Relationship”

i’ve been wanting to do this post for so long and now i finally get too after seeing enough evidence to make my case

a very brief rundown of their relationship

stolas and blitz knew each other as childhood friends, however it was an arrangement done by stolas shitty dad because he “didn’t want to deal with him”, and blitz shitty dad forced him into doing his dirty work by tricking stolas into giving away most of his items around the castle, but at the end, we see the two bonding a little and formed at least some sort of friendship with each other

years later they reconnected, with blitz only wanting the book, and stolas, desperate for real love, makes a deal, once a month on the full moon, they both have sex and blitz gives the book back to him, and then for the rest of the month, blitz get’s to keep it the rest of the time

when did it start to become more complicated?

i personally think it was around ep 5 where things began to get complicated between the two, and feelings started to spike, like when striker ask’s about his relationship between him and stolas, blitz get’s flustered and embarrassed, which is not usual for him, and we can even see M&M smirking at each other, rolling their eyes, etc.., and i think that says a lot, considering that moxxie and millie are very happily married couple, so i think they can see the signs when someone is clearly starting to develop feelings

then in ep 6 and 7, we got to see their was a shit load more then we all thought, in ep 6, during blitz acid trip, we see stolas in his trip, and how he views him and their position, with stolas sitting in a thorn, and blitz in chains, being dragged up by him, and him being slightly flustered about it, i’ve seen alot of people’s theories of this and the meaning behind it, and here’s mine, blitz views he’s relationship with stolas being superior to him, royal, regal and above him in everything, meanwhile, in blitz’s mind, he thinks stolas views him as his “impish little plaything”, someone who he likes sexually, nothing more, and considering that stolas has the one thing that keep his business going, the book, he feels chained to him, and it could also means he feels like property to stolas, instead of a love partner, which is how most royals view imps, lower then them

and in ep 7, it showed us alot more, and it just confirmed that blitz does care about stolas, even if he doesn’t show it, like when he drives him home when even though stolas can make a portal, when he nearly cries at the thought of stolas trying to pretend as though they are a couple, and he even apologizes for not having sex with stolas even though he really had no reason to apologize in the first place, and while he’s scrolling through his phone, we see the most recent picture of him and stolas cuddling, with a soft smile on blitz face

and in the newest episode of season 2, we see little moments between the two, how they bicker at each other, how slightly more hostile they are towards each other, and the little flirting moments they have, and how blitz was literally fucking mesmerized by human stolas, which is kinda big considering he thinks all humans are fucking gross and ugly, even his own daughter human form is awful to him

(to be fair though, stolas couldn’t be ugly even if he tried lol)

in stolas point of view, it’s different, in ep 5, we can see he’s as flirty and clingy as ever to blitz, but in a very sexual way, nothing really have off the idea that stolas was actually in love with blitz until ep 7,when stolas is alone watching soap operas while eating cereal in his red robe 

(that’s a mood Gabriella)

and when he gets the call from blitz asking him out on a “date”, his whole mood changes, along with his usual flirty persona, he got dressed up, wore makeup and even made a whole ass entrance just to impress blitz, and during the ENTIRE TIME, he’s socially awkward as fuck and a complete nervous wreck, and he’s tries to desperately to have an actual conversation with him without it being sexual, this was stolas’s first real date with someone he actually liked and the fact that it wasn’t actually a date and blitz was just using him to get inside to spy on moxie and Millie is even more upsetting

and in season 2 ep 1, we get the backstory between the two and it really reveals what kind of person stolas is, he’s not the type to purposefully hurt a loved one, which is why he cheated on stella, he wouldn’t have cheated if their marriage was real, but it wasn’t, their relationship was arranged, not to mention stella is very abusive and toxic, the only thing that kept him going through the abuse and awful trapped marriage was his daughter, and when blitz came into his life again, he let himself believe what they had was real and intimate, but then he came to realize that what was between them was a “comfortable lie”, something he can fantasize about to help him get through the day and to finally have something look forward too, but that ended up being a lie too, literally all of stolas relationships have been him being used, his dad only using him for complete his royal duties, stella using him for his status and as her punching bag, blitz for his own personal gain, literally the only true relationship he has with anyone is his daughter Octavia, 

stolas doesn’t know how to show love, and since their relationship started sexual, stolas thought that was how he was supposed to act, but he unintentionally hurt blitz, especially at ozzie’s when he hid his face, but he wasn’t ashamed of blitz in that moment, it was more-so embarrassed that his bad laundry was being aired out in front of everyone and didn’t know how to handle it, but we can tell he deeply regretted hurting blitz like that, when he tries to offer blitz to spend some more time together, blitz lashes out on him, accusing him of only using him for his sexual gain, and then drives off, leaving stolas alone to cry to himself and get drunk

now, in season 2 ep 2, since the episode was focused on octavia, we didn’t really see alot of stolas and blitz, but we did get to glimpse of it, first all, stolas isn’t flirty and as sexual with him anymore, and not once does he call him “blitzy”, just blitz, and during their little banter about the memorizing the spells, stolas actually claps back at him, instead of laughing or downplaying his insults like he usually does, 

and when blitz is preforming in stage and stolas laughs at his joke, he winks at him, which causes stolas to blush and get flustered, not to mention when stolas turns into his human form, blitzo entire demure change's for a few seconds, like the man is star-strucked by how outrageously good-looking stolas is in his human form, and keep in mind, blitzo thought his own daughter’s human form was awful, he thinks humans are ugly and gross, STOLAS IS THE EXCEPTION TO THIS!!!

Can this relationship improve?

yes, it can, because now we see exactly what the issues are between them, blitz is traumatized from his previous relationships and while he craves intimacy and love, he’s terrified of it because of the hurt and betrayal it comes with, and he doesn’t want to be in a position where he feels beneath someone

stolas is in a similar position as blitz, but he isn’t really afraid of intimacy, he’s just never experienced genuine love and relationships before and he doesn’t know how to approach it

right now, things between them are very, very awkward, and we’re not completely sure on how things are gonna be when the full moon comes, i don’t think they’ll pretend as though ozzie’s never happened, to many things happened their to the point where it shouldn’t be downplayed

if these two want a healthy relationship with each other, they have to communicate, which is something both of them don’t know how to do, but once they do, i feel like their confession will be messy, it won’t be an “aww, that’s so wholesome” it’ll be more of a “holy shit THIS IS FUCKING REAL AND HEARTBREAKING”!!

and honestly communication isn’t the only thing they need for this to become an actual healthy relationship, they also beed to work through their trauma, with blitz learning to love again and healing from his past, and with stolas unlearning the things he picked on up in his abusive relationship with stella, cause i know once he get’s out of that situation, he’s gonna be in a really mad place mentally, cause now that’s he’s out of that toxic relationship, he has to heal from the abuse, but i do think they can make it work, but it would be very slow, and rocky, and heartfelt the entire time

let me know what you guys think

[spiderluvr1610]

i've been nonstop brainrotting abt same age!au flowerfang w/preg teen miles omg

miles is like idk, idk, maybe we should give it up, we're too young, we're not ready, we've got no money-and miguel is like NO! and he holds miles really tight and he's like, "i know you're scared, but we're in this together, and i promise, you two will want for nothing. i know I don't have shit right now, but i will, I promise. i'll never leave you." and he's sooo touched 🥺

telling their parents is sooo messy bcs like rio and jeff would never throw miles out (they've been there) but jeff is soo disappointed. that wasn't his plan for miles and it causes major strain between them bcs miles is like my life is my life tf u mean plan??? like this is happening, support me or don't!

meanwhile conchata is cussing miguel out, telling him she taught him better, that he better step up and actually do right by whoever he fucked instead of his no good dad... and yeah she'll love her grandbaby but miguel's a man now and he needs to take care of his business and she's not letting them move in or helping with money

gabriel's just happy to be an uncle! (and that his bro actually looks happy these days)

miles still studies all the time, bcs he's gonna graduate fuck the statistics, he's researching baby stuff, ignoring the haters (some his own family...damn) but it's not all bad bcs miggy really is so supportive like even jeff can see how he's the definition of a Provider!!!

what they ALL doesn't know is that mig is working like 4 jobs trying to save enough money for them to get their own place (bcs mig's situation is rough with his mom and his dad...and jeff does not want mig in his home despite his improved opinion) literally pushing himself to the brink of passing out just to make ends meet

but it's all worth it when he reveals it at the baby shower, the key to their new home 💗 miles cries so hard 🥺💓

[yakuzacanons]

I love the sunshine x grumpy trope in fiction. I also love the friends to lovers trope. Let's mix them! I've had this idea in the back of my mind for a while so lemme cook.

Imagine a young Ryuji being friends with the reader, the only person to not be scared of him because of his dad being Yakuza and who is generally a very friendly and optimistic person all around. They always got each other's backs, reader doing their best to cheer him up when he's down and his old man's giving him shit, Ryuji actually being able to open up about his mom to someone for once!

Eventually they grow up and realize that omg! They have feelings for each other! :O I wonder how they'll go about confessing and getting together, Ryuji being worried about dragging them into this dangerous lifestyle he was born into and reader being all like "(⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) you're stuck with me boo"

ahhh prompts for my sweetie Ryuji, on it bosssss. Using the confession line I wrote for him in my confessions headcanon post babeyyy. Headcanons below da cut, mwah sweet anon.

Ryuji always struggled with making friends, even at a very young age. Even before he was old enough to understand what his dad did for a living or that he was an orphan, he just felt really alienated. He noticed he was treated differently than most other kids, which only made other kids avoid him, which only made him feel worse. By the time he hit elementary school, he just decided it was better to be a loner.

He liked to pretend it was his choice and that he was special, but deep down he was jealous of other kids: their parents walking them lovingly to school, playing in parks after school with friends, passing notes in class all while giggling under their breath. Meanwhile, Ryuji was arriving to school in a private car, surrounded by bodyguards whenever he wasn't at school. Hell, even his school lunches looked different from everyone else's. So he just kept to himself, harumphing and scoffing his way through school hallways.

Imagine his surprise when one day at recess you appeared in front of him. He hadn't even noticed the ball the other kids were playing with had rolled away and over to him. The others must've been too intimidated to come get it themselves so they sent you, the big-hearted and always smiling popular kid, to get it. What surprised him more was when you ASKED him to hand you the ball instead of just sweeping it up into your arms and jogging away quickly.

He could've sworn he was dreaming when he handed you the ball and you flashed your smile, asking if he wanted to come play. Ryuji? Being invited to play? Maybe dreams DO come true. Either way, the two of you became inseparable friends from that day on.

Everyone, kids and adults alike, didn't get it. You were so normal and nice and Ryuji was the son of the leader of the Omi Alliance. Not that you minded any of that; to you Ryuji was just another kid, just like you. Through the years, Ryuji found himself hanging out at your house after school to escape his dad prodding him with questions about school. If you ever got picked on at school, Ryuji was there in a flash, protecting you.

It remained this way until part of the way through high school. Ryuji's dad was starting to put Ryuji into a role that was more involved in the Omi Alliance and as a direct result, Ryuji was just less available. He was forced to grow up faster than most kids. While everyone else was worried about exams or where to go after high school, Ryuji was getting ready to inherit the Omi Alliance throne. Sure, you had his e-mail but even then he was so busy that you hardly heard from or saw him outside of school.

Still, the two of you hung onto the friendship as best as you could even after high school. Sometimes you'd go weeks without hearing from him, but you were always happy to see him. Truthfully, Ryuji was actually the happiest out of the two of you. You were his only friend growing up. Perhaps you still are his only friend. You're certainly the only person outside of the alliance he knows at all.

Now that the two of you had settled into your adult lives, most visits ended up with the two of you catching up at a café from time to time. This time, it was Ryuji's turn to surprise you when he texted you saying he was outside of your office just when quitting time rolled around. You rushed out and saw him standing there, smoking absentmindedly. His face lit up into that familiar smirk when he saw you and he sauntered up to you. When you asked what on earth he was doing, he shrugged and said "What, I can't sneak outta work to hang with my best friend?".

The years hadn't been kind to Ryuji. He had scars on his face and his eyes had grown menacing. Every detail, down to how he dressed to how he walked, conveyed who he was. But in front of you, he was still just some lost kid. You could see it in the way he smiled as the two of you knocked back drinks or the way he belted out without restraint at karaoke.

In fact, it was in that exact moment at karaoke when you looked up from your drink and saw him that you felt your heart stop for a moment. Was Ryuji always that tall? You didn't remember thinking his face was handsome before. The only thing that snapped you out of your trance was Ryuji asking what the heck you were staring at. You tried to deflect but your blushing gave it away. Thankfully, Ryuji didn't press further on the matter, but the thought lingered in his mind long after the two of you left the building.

Ryuji noticed the streets were crawling with more Omi Alliance men than when you had entered, so the two of you opted to retreat to a nearby rooftop so he could have a smoke. He knew they wouldn't look for him there but secretly it was also so he could confront you about what just happened. He catches you off guard as you sit on a bench on the rooftop, your eyes gazing off at the stars, the image of Ryuji smiling at you burning into your brain.

You pretended you didn't hear him the first time he asked what happened. It wasn't until he plopped down onto the bench next to you that you realized you weren't worming your way out of this one. You sit up properly only to meet Ryuji's gaze, steadfast and curious, as he says "Oi, I'm serious. What happened back there?". You sputter in response, your drunken self stumbling between excuses and just admitting it. Your blubbered mumbling makes Ryuji burst out in laughter.

You pout in response, saying something like "Hey, don't laugh at me!" to which Ryuji profusely apologizes while stifling laughter. Eventually, his laughter subsides and he shakes his head, his half smoked cigarette in hand. He takes a quick puff before slumping in his seat, uncharacteristically looking down at his shoes before you catch him mumbling "Why'd ya have to be so cute?..."

He realizes you totally heard him and he snaps up to look at you and this time it's your turn to laugh. He growls sarcastically and responds with "Oi, what happened to not laughing at each other!" before breaking out into laughter too. When the two of you calm down again, you half jokingly say "Seriously, what's up with us today?" still teetering between telling him the truth or keeping it to yourself.

Before you can even contemplate making a decision, Ryuji makes one for you. He turns to face you, his gaze tinged with sincerity and nervousness that you hadn't seen since the first time he ever looked at you, before he blurts out “I’m not sure what else to do at this point except tell ya: ya got me wrapped ‘round your finger. No matter what happens, ya have my heart. I’ll always be there. I promise.”

[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Rewatch Ep 9 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Khai struggled to reconnect with Third, because it's really difficult to do the emotional work required to be in effective long term relationships with anyone when the person you need to reconcile with is the person you relied on to do that work for you. Khai may be serious about Third at this point, but he's never treated his relationships as more than a physical release prior to this, and went through the motions for getting the booty. No one is on his side, and Third is trying to move on. Meanwhile, Two is trying to move forward with Lynn, and Bone just learned that Paan has someone who's serious about her. Everyone thinks Un is into Third. We left at Khai crashing his motorcycle and getting hurt after being yelled at by Third for forcing a kiss on him AGAIN.

I really think Un and Third just went to a screening to get inspiration for their script.

Oh, he's delirious from blood loss. I don't remember this portion of the show well, so I really hope Khai doesn't take Third giving him attention again because he's hurt as a reasonable approach to getting him to interact in the future.

Khai was talking all that shit about Un, but look whose big ass is driving them to the hospital.

Ep.09 Love Triangle. I think this is the first Thai film they've used as the inspiration for the episode.

I do like when a character has to confront their psyche in a nether space. The Walkabout episode of Babylon 5 is my favorite example of this.

Okay, I am really harsh on Khai, so let me say some nice things about the production. Having Bone and Two not be scared when Khai woke up is very reassuring for the audience, even if the inventory of injuries Khai sustained is extensive. Also, telling us he's been asleep for a day as Third walks up still in his bloody clothes lets us know immediately how worried Third was.

Obsessed with Khai's parents. The dad trying to keep upbeat, the mom chiding, the dad reminding Khai that this actually is quite serious, and them asking Third to look after Khai. I get it, show. They're best friends and everyone knows. I'm still salty.

Oh, thanks for explaining my earlier bullet, Bone.

Good job, bros. Khai is an idiot for kissing Third AGAIN. We ain't forget!!

See, this is what I'm saying. It's convenient he got injured? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Face yourself and your friend!

Bone, why are we suggesting checking again? Y'all pissed off me and Third the last time y'all did this shit.

These mofos really going through his messages. I know y'all are boys and all, but respect your homie's fucking privacy.

They don't even know how to set up a side chat. This is embarrassing.

I'm glad the privacy invasion bit ended quickly on Third telling them all to fuck off and let him handle his business.

Hold on, Lynn, we need to do some quick PPL.

Love that the musical cues in GMMTV shows were loud in 2019 and they're loud now.

It really is so hard for me not to simp over Gun constantly in every one of these reactions.

Oh, Khai, you're getting there. Is it hard when the person you're trying to get over suddenly treats you kindly?

I will accept the show using Khai's lingering injuries as a way to illustrate that he can't really heal or take care of himself while Third isn't part of his life.

"Let me help you with your shower." Now, Third, we have all seen this scene before. You gotta give your bro a hand?

Good thing Third wears capris.

I don't want to give Bone too much credit for his awareness of his feelings for Paan because they're hets. Two may just now be figuring out that he was jealous about Un sharing that restaurant with someone else, but it feels like this may be new for him and he's been trying to pursue Lynn.

All that paper is going to make a mess of the pool.

Listen, unnamed boy in the Never Have I Ever game, do you not realize there are queers at this table and you're just lobbing grenades into the chat??

Keyword association went to shit, too!

Why are they leaving us hanging on Lynn's answer to Two?

Curious why Praew wanted to come clean to Third.

If I was Un, I know I would have to whip Khai's ass later over this. This gang stay fucking with him and all he does is help them. Now he's being punched out because Khai is jealous and misunderstanding? Hell to the no. Don't start shit with me because I will finish it.

Oh lord we got big drama next episode with early dating, lies, and bad timing.

Khai is such an asshole, so I think it's correct for his character to confess his feelings in the heat of an argument. I think this is a pretty solid episode for the most part, but I'm not sure all of the party worked for me. I think Khai's injuries were used well to mirror his internal feelings. I'm a bit bored of the stuff going on with Bone and Two though.

As always, this rewatch is sponsored by @lurkingshan, with support from @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm. Tagging @twig-tea by request.

[trolagygirl2022]

Yang hyunsuk has been imprisoned for 3 years sooooooo we're possibly being fooled again with the debut news because my gut says its 2024 due to ygs business tactics as it is the BP disbandment rumours have been going around and his own legal case if messing up the image of the company like dude we heard the same things a month or two back about them debuting in September and we got nothing.there is gonna be a MASSIVE change in the group which will prolly lead them to once again plan shit properly for them,when that happens there will possibly be success and the girls will be fine.

The tarot cards I got were death,the world,wheel of fortune, hermit,10 of pentacle, patience.

You can write your observations about my cards too if you want to.

Your opinions on this.Can you do a reading on this?

I'll just do a general reading on BabyMonster

Knight of Swords, Cups and Wands. The Lovers, Judgement rev, Ace of Pentacles, The Fool, Nine of Swords, Page of Wands, Ten of Wands, Six of Cups.

They are working hard on the debut, adding some finishong touches but the Judgement rev is giving me a bad feeling. A possible scandal may happen. When I asked about the Judgement I got Six of Cups so it's something someone did when they were younger or it's one of the younger members (or a water sign).

What is this scandal? The fool, Nine of Wands, Ten of Pentacles rev, Temperance, Six of Pentacles (when I asked about this Six of Pentacles I got: Three of Cups, Knight of Wands and Two of Cups). King of Cups rev (I asked more about the KoC rev and I got: The Hanged Man, The Hermit, Ace of Pentacles, Nine of Swords.

Ok.. I lokey feel someone payed their way into the group (allegedly for entertainment purposes only). Or that some money is involved. So the person represented by the Six of Cups is the King of Cups rev. This person is pretty bratty, emotionally immature, snarky and probably pretty sensitive. They are like more withdrawn and hidden then the other members (I'm picturing if everyone else were to take a picture she would have an attitude and sit in the corner, I'm also imagining the members being like "what's up with her/ what's her problem".) She may have anxiety or she is causing issues in the group. With the Hanged Man she doesn't gaf because she's all like " You can't kick me out because my dad/family funds this company, blah blah blah". She most likely has connections with YG. I feel that the others are working really hard meanwhile behind the scenes she's all like "whatever" and doesn't give in as much as everyone else does leaving everyone frustrated. The energy is quite rocky here and it seems to be causing some issues. This person may be doing risky things or being immature (picture everyone at Niagra falls right, everyone is staying where they are supposed to be meanwhile this one is walking over the fine rop, silly example but that's what I'm getting here.) Very bold idgaf energy.

[bamboobrat]

succession s4 e6 recap: bite me

happy international workers day, girlies!!

let's celebrate by watching billionaires be responsible for multiple SEC violations!

the bitch is back.

shitting on his children even from beyond the grave.

the video in question: logan speaking of their new product, living+, which will play a surprisingly large role in this episode, given we've never heard of it before.

shiv has a private jet rendezvous with mattson. they both excel at flirting:

mattson: we're buddies, can we talk? shiv: no, maybe i fucking hate you.

true romance<3

mattson tells her about the CE-bros and their little freakout on the mountain, which is the opposite of what her brothers eventually tell her during the meeting with the inner circle.

ken and rome, still adamant about tanking the deal, tell them that elon musk mattson is unstable and druggy etc etc etc --

somehow, i don't think any of them are buying it.

shiv sure as shit doesn't buy their bs.

this is the comeback i've been waiting for.

roman immediately makes his sadboy face and asks for a hug, because all he wants is love, but my heart is starting to harden. he is truly in his flop era this episode.

shiv pencils in 20 minutes in her calendar to cry.

i love you, shiv roy. ilysm, but you will never be holly hunter from broadcast news.

cry-time is briefly interrupted by making out with the future ex-husband she absolutely hates.

we've all been there.

roman has to deal with hollywood.

he is not pleased.

i can sense the utter distain jesse armstrong has for hollywood through my screen.

the hollywood exec pushes one of roman's buttons (lots of them lately) and he fires her in a way that reminds me of logan, but also doesn't. i have a feeling logan would send "the help" to do the dirty work for him?

roman's firing spree begins. we all know where this is headed.

kendall is being annoying.

asking too much and telling your staff they can never say no?

just a regular day for me, working with politicians.

also, a fucking minefield in terms of sexual harassment, don't we think?

anyway, he wants to play house on stage and fudge the numbers and be the cringiest of cringe. let kendall be kendall, i guess.

tom and shiv hook up twice in this episode????

unrealistic.

also they bite each other.

i shouldn't have to elaborate on that.

ken and rome are still working on their "tank the deal" plan and so far the road ahead seems very realistic and not at all like the potential symptom of bipolar disorder.

for once, greg is of use and summarizes their strategy pretty well:

bla bla bla business talk bla bla bla i don't care.

roman contemplates his own mortality, as one does, and thinks there should be some other option.

death is, after all, very much one-size-fits-all.

and where does he want to end up post death, you ask?

inside a tortoise 👀

conveniently, gerri calls him in for a talk to chat to him about some very serious issues, such as:

roman is shocked to know he can't just do whatever the fuck he pleases. but that's what my dad would do, he says, to which gerri responds, but you are not your dad.

i think we've hit another button..........

and gerri, having zero fucks left to give, does not hold back.

uh oh.

and thus, roman's firing spree continues.

i'm broken.

and also mad.

i know there are probably some readers of this recap not entirely obsessed with romangerri (but really, do you exist?!), but i just have to say, please endulge me.

we're just over halfway through the season and gerri's been fired twice. let me wallow.

kendall, however, is thrilled about this unhinged energy:

"fucking eat greg" is perhaps the funniest thing he's ever said.

meanwhile, after sleeping together, shiv and tom share a heartfelt moment.

just kidding.

tom says he loves money.

how gauche of him.

the set is not up to par for our mate kendall over here, so he morphs into joni mitchell for a short sec:

I'VE LOOKED AT CLOUD FROM BOTH SIDES NOW!

where are the clouds from berlin?? really makes u think:(

luckily, he can fudge the numbers some more to elevate the stock price to distract himself.

the sibs, however, notice his erratic behavior, and shiv convinces rome that this whole presentation is not a good idea.

and despite the eventual outcome, i think they are right, given ken's track record.

karl has a spine conspiracy?????

it feels good having the old guard telling the kiddos how they truly feel.

in the back of his mind, all karl is thinking about is that greek island. that's queen shit.

kendall goes on stage alone, because roman really doesn't want to wear his stupid pilot jacket.

he interacts with a video version of his late dad, which of course shows a man that is so very stable.

best roman quote of the episode: if i cringe any harder i might become a fossil.

gerri agrees, but in a more resigned way:

couples who hate on kendall's speeches together, stay together<3 (this is what denial looks like).

my summary of kendall's presentation: starts out shit, then he pivots into karolina's script and it's fine, and then he plays the dead dad card and we can't really argue with that.

living+ is still a fucking shitshow imo. not sure if i would go as far as mattson, tho:

yikes.

leave it to the swedes to underestimate nazi discourse (please don't come for me swedes, you know).

greg unfortunately has the best line of the episode:

and turns out, it is very much true.

tom channeling his inner oprah was not on my 2023 bingo card.

and they all agreed ken did a great job.

and karl devolves into his usual, spineless self:(

i have a feeling this all means an end to whatever sibling solidarity we've been seeing, given shiv and roman's reactions.

roman comforts himself by listening to what is basically an AI generated clip of his dad saying he has a small penis.

shiv and tom seem to decide to keep it all business, but also not??

it feels more or less like a high school relationship to me at this point. i love it.

and we get a clip of kendall in the water, but he didn't die, so i couldn't use one of my precious screengrabs on that.

you all should probably thank the tumblr gods that they have a 30 image limit on these posts.

see you next week for the afterparty, featuring more scandis for me to make strange references about!