#my current reason for breakdowns
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thou-shall-fucketh-off · 1 year ago
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Trying to find a good angst fic in the middle of kinktober was a bad move on my part
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liedownquisition · 20 days ago
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Every time someone writes anything re: the Arrows (esp Ollie) and treat it like they have these like Bat-level strict morals or just otherwise being really "strictly principled"???? it drives me crazy. Like I don't wanna be "you haven't read the comics" but... They haven't.
Ollie, very famously, killed not only Parallax (something which was very difficult for him bcs Hal was his friend, for all their fighting), but also the Electrocutioner (for killing Lian, maiming Roy, and destroying most of his city). There was that whole thing in Crossroads when he worked with Huntress, Catwoman, and Deathstroke, and was killing criminals with guns! Killed a man torturing Dinah! Hell, even further, at least once he helped someone who he considered to have been justified in killing someone escape the law!
I'm pretty sure literally all of his proteges have harder lines than he does (Jason criticizes Mia for limiting her angles to non-lethal in Seeing Red, Oliver being shown to use more brutal methods in a team up with Roy in comic I admittedly don't remember the exact name of & Connor disapproved of Ollie training with the guy who trained Deathstroke to learn the "killing arts" re: 1YL, tho idr if that was more of a killing disapproval or a "dad, really, this guy is awful tho???" kinda deal. Uhhh... Emiko might be an exception to this probably, at least inasmuch as you can consider those two his proteges given I don't think Ollie really trained them that much/they mostly came to him like that). Hell, when Mia killed someone he wasn't mad about her killing so much as that it was her (an innocent kid) that did it!
In the marriage comic, Dinah had apparently killed Ollie in self-defense! (Before concluding that it hadn't been him despite all evidence to the contrary, ect., ect., ect.)
Roy worked for the gov't and definitely killed for them when it was called for. Fell in love with an assassin and walked away instead of turning her in or killing her like he was probably supposed to do despite knowing she'd likely go on to keep killing more people (You could call this a statement on his love for her, which on some level, yeah, but on the other level shows that his lines aren't so well-defined.) The only reason he hadn't killed the Electrocutioner himself is bcs Ollie got there first. For all the complaints re: RHATO/RH&A they are still considered current canon (to an extent, I think some specific things around it might be retconned?) & he has killed in there too.
Emiko as a former assassin/being trained & raised to be a "perfect killer" by Shado I feel is rather self-explanatory.
There's probably more but I'm runnin' out of steam here. Anyways. My point is that while they're not exactly actively murderous vigilantes, they FAR from have some kind of no-kill rule. They'll typically try something else first, but when lines are crossed (like their family) or there doesn't appear to be a better solution that would actually work, they're plenty willing. They're not "Batfam 2.0 but lamer and not as powerful," which seems to be the predominant interpretation most of the time.
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badolmen · 1 year ago
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Not to be extreme but dear God hold onto hope.
Things will be better one day. People will sing and dance in colorful clothes under dazzling lights again. A parent will rock their child to sleep on a quiet night again. A grandparent will teach their grandchild to cook a family recipe again. People will laugh and cry and love and grieve in the most mundane of ways once more. This will happen no matter what you believe, but hoping and believing in such things will ease your heart and kindle your resolve to see it within your lifetime. Have hope, and you will give life to the world you hope to see.
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shadyhouse · 9 months ago
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i keep getting rejected from job applications and i have no idea what im doing wrong. i wish they would just tell you WHY you're getting rejected and ways to improve. its a guessing game that ends up making me feel even more worthless than i felt before
#like i have been nonstop applying for jobs for the past YEAR and ive gotten TWO INTERVIEWS#one of them i got kicked out of near immediately bc you werent allowed to be late to the job and i mentioned i take the bus (mistake i know)#and the other one i had to turn down bc they wanted to pay me $11/hr despite me already having the experience they needed#and i just reapplied to an old job i had a couple years ago that pays well but i got an instant rejection#not to mention all the other jobs ive been applying to that dont even TRY to contact me before rejecting me#and then my current job where ive been pretty much explicitly told i'm never ever going to get promoted and i keep getting my hours cut#for reasons beyond my comprehension like i dont know what im even doing wrong bc no one will TELL ME#JUST TELL ME WHAT IM DOING WRONG#WHY AM I BEING BAD AT LIFE. CAN YOU THROW ME A BONE PLEASE.#IM TIRED OF SURVIVING I WANT TO THRIVE#IVE BEEN SURVIVING MY WHOLE LIFE IM JUST EXHAUSTED I WANT TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT SOMETHING I DID FOR ONCE PLEASE#Sorry for venting im trying to hold back a breakdown and i have to leave for work in an hour and i just need to shout into the void about it#even applying for like medical based jobs hasnt worked out. you wont even let me be a RECEPTIONIST?#i feel trapped at my current job. even my coworkers have been telling me that ive had my position for wayyyy too long and im gonna be stuck#like tell me something i dont know!!!!!!!!!! tell me how to get a better job!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc im struggling in every aspect of my life!!!!!!#whoever cursed me its working i hope youre happy. the haters love to see it
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fitzrove · 9 months ago
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Its ok maybe if you look up the lyrics to was für ein grausames leben and read them in english you will be okj<3
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autumnalhalcyon · 4 months ago
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#i am at my fucking limit lol#i need to leave this fucking town and this fucking state the very second i can nail down both a car and a remote job#the fucking ''''affordable'''' housing company i rent from has once again opted to start harassing us#and we're once again gonna have to be in a fucking fight with landlords who think that we're making too much money to live in a $1200 apt#and want us to pay $2000 a month for this rathole we live in despite taxes and deductions literally absorbing a quarter of our earnings#so they want to absorb half of what we have left when ive yet to be able to even afford a car that isn't a fucking beater destined for scrap#at least not without using p much all of my current life savings in the process#so we have to instead get around by buses that refuse to actually show up take us on huge detours for no reason have lead feet that-#-exacerbate my chronic pain and - oh! how could i forget? is also horrifically mismanaged to the point where they're now canceling entire-#-bus routes including the one i take to work and ALSO GOES TO THE AIRPORT lol#and nothing will fucking change about the highway robbery rent hikes bc the entire state legislature is filled with and bought by-#-landlords NIMBYs and property management firms.#that's not even getting into the fact that ive got too many traumatic memories too many enemies and not enough good things to show for it#the only thing I've got in this fucking town is my partner bc not even our home can be considered safe anymore.#i want to take them and the home we dream of and get the fuck out bc i can't keep doing this shit#and i can't even fucking talk to them about this bc they need me to be the strong one for once#im so tired. i feel like im in danger even though i know we'd be able to tank the hit to our finances. but i would like to escape.#i know of a city in ny where our $1200 rent is considered the norm. there's also so much more to do within reach that isn't just. drinking.#i wanna go there. i may have had a desire to live there since our vacation there this past March.#but for now im stuck here dreaming of the future and fighting off desperation and despair in the present#this breakdown brought to you by: the bus purposely avoiding my stop this morning after learning my landlord wants to ruin us again#vent
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linguenuvolose · 1 year ago
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I applied for a new job today 😩
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kohakhearts · 1 year ago
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well folks its been a good two months of denial but i am finally ready to admit that the reason everything sucks is because of major depression relapse. if i werent so depressed id make this everyone elses problem by projecting it on to blorbo but alas
#taylor.txt#incapable of making this not a joke but i do have to say it kinda sucks#like obviously ive never been 100% free of my depression probably on account of it developing when i was a Child and then not getting any#treatment or even really any sympathy for until i was in my late teens but. BUT. even my historic mental breakdown 2 years ago didnt really#feel like depression. like yeah i was sad and hopeless but this is very different. sad and lethargic more so. simply too tired to be lost i#despair. which is i guess a good thing because it means its easier for me to fix. its just that right now im kinda stuck in it#i dont know if id say ive experienced major depression since my first year of uni#thats why ive been denying it all this time despite it being pretty…glaringly obvious#anyway. good news is im meeting with the prof of one of the classes im currently failing this week#and now i guess i kind of have an idea of what to tell her because all this time ive been struggling and i havent understood why#the content makes sense. i understand whats going on. but my memory has gotten so bad recently and the energy required to do my assignments#has been way too much. and im past my limit on that at this point unfortunately. like yeah shes probably gonna tell me well that sucks but#theres nothing i can do to save your grade and thats fine but at least i know even if it was a Me Problem that i let myself get depressed#again in the first place being actively depressed is a major barrier that i at least know isnt 100% me being an idiot with a bad attitude#i will struggle to the finish line but i will make it there. even if i fail a class or two in the process#and regardless of if it gets better i will finally go see my therapist again in the new year </3 something obviously led to this so whos to#say it wouldnt happen again if i just let that fester. whatever it is#also writing has been tough for the same reason school has been tough but its still happening and i will do more of it when school is over#i PROMMY
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porto-rosso · 10 months ago
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just saw someone say that the reason american politicians aren't pushing to give third parties better chances in elections is because the majority of third parties are communist leaning. lmao.
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heartofannie · 1 year ago
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I know life has a meaning but I'm to burned out to see it.
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factorialsfandoms · 2 years ago
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I don’t need another au, I say, making another au where Time messes himself up royally and Hyrule gets to steal a car aged 9 to try rescue a random dog from a supervillian and crashes into tree. he and the puppy are fine, or he hopes so, the dog ran off and he ran in the opposite direction to avoid the cops.
Its a year or so later when Legend, whose car he stole and crashed, drags him home.
I’m not saying Legend /is/ batman, but Ravio did replace his car with a bunmobile and hacks the stock markets, and he does fight crime with a lot of cool tech, and he does have an adoption problem.
but also Time maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe caused the apocolypse but is trying to fix it (in between managing a farm and his lovely wife and being an apocolypse prepper except he knows the apocolypse is coming so does it count?), Wars might be a teacher for the superhero league stuck in a zombie apocolypse with like 5 superpowered children to babysit (including another, much younger version of Time who hasn’t developed time travel powers yet except for the fact he absolutely has), Sky is on his honeymoon when everything goes to shit, Twilight and Wild live in the woods but help with Time’s cows (they say they’re on the run from the government to be edgy. Twilight is just embarassed about the dog thing. Wild might actually be on the run from them he doesn’t actually remember). Wind’s sister was at school and now he can’t find her. Four/Minish’s grandfather is an absolute saint. Spirits isn’t sure what’s going on but he’s not letting go of his teacher’s hand. Ganon is actually working with the heroes as is most of the supervillian league (reluctantly and eventually) because zombies are worse actually.
Also Rulie’s blood is magic, and in a /lot/ of time loops he died for it. Oops. Time would rather not repeat that.
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vvelegrin · 1 year ago
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happy thanksgiving to the epoch times article my dad pushed on me about palestine lmao
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angeltism · 1 year ago
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not 2 keep posting literally Only Vents (and like 1 normal thing once a day) but it's nights like these I reminisce about my abuser and wonder all that "what if"s
all the sui tw/cw tags r because of shit I wrote in the tags
#➳ valentin vents#and yes i am purposefully triggering memories by listening to my playlist of songs i had full blown panic attacks and mental breakdowns to#or would listen to while it manipulated and turned me into his own little puppet while i felt disgust and. so. unsatisfied.#i hate that you all know me as who i am now#i hate that this is the me you have to see#why couldn't you all have met the sweet immature aqua who made sex jokes and who's only worry was petty drama ?#why couldn't you guys have gotten attached to him ? he would have been a better friend and partner than this aqua .#this aqua cries xerself to bed every night even if things are theoretically fine and makes her life miserable for no reason#he's selfish and always demands more and more and then plays the victim about it#she shouldn't exist . this vessel should have died a year ago when it met the person — the monster — who ruined it .#the asshole who killed innocent sonia and left his body to be possessed by the worthless maryne#i should have done it . i should have gone and chugged all those pills instead of just cutting contact . maybe he would have felt remorse#maybe I'd have saved so much money and tears and not have wasted the time of those who got to know this current '' being ''#but I've always been too much of a pussy to do something like that#oh well#i guess I'll just have to wait until the universe decides it's my time since i guess . idk . dad would miss me a lot . maybe some irls woul#too ? and mom and grandma . yeah I'll . uh . not chug an entire bottle of whatever random pills i can find in my cabinet .#i still need to get married some day . and at the very least I'm not dying a virgin lmao#ugh angways aqua stfu time go cry in uur bed like uu always do stop telling people online how uu should have killed uurself a year ago n#sharing tmi about uur trauma !!!!#tw sui mention#tw sui ideation#tw sui vent#tw sui talk#cw sui mention#cw sui ideation#cw sui thoughts#yea
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the-kipsabian · 1 year ago
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#idk if this is angsty or not so im just gonna throw it in the tags#but like. i fully know what my problem is. and how i could fix it. and literally the only thing making me sad and upset is myself#why? because my choice of medium is writing. because that makes it incredibly difficult to get anything out there and get people interested#in my creations. cause visual media is preferred so much over written anything cause its so much easier to consume#it doesnt help that i dont work with popular characters or ships (literally my current work im most excited about is for a ship only *i*#have contributed to so far. like.. we are talking that level of unpopular choices here)#and like. i dont say this to shame or blame anyone. this is obviously my choice. ive decided to do both of these things when i could have i#so much easier. i wouldnt be better at it if i did visual shit still. im way worse at that than writing. ive always been a writer first#but.. honestly seeing the difference with interaction and even in general interest due to these factors...#idk man. again i know this is entirely self inflicted like i chose this. i chose all of these things. and continue to do so#ive literally seen all of this. im not making it up. im not talking about just in general im talking this has happened to me personally#that rare time in june i made and posted art? do you understand the amount of ppl that said 'ive missed your stuff'?#the same people that dont consume my current works due to their form and have never went on the lengths to say the same thing about#my writing? when i took a two year hiatus from all of that basically? but a few months of visual arts?#idk fam im just. i understand all of this but im hurt. you know?#cause i know it doesnt matter. and its so much more difficult. i know there are people out there who love and appreciate what i do#and who understand how important this is to me compared to other stuff and before and whatnot#but at the same time the negatives (that are mostly in my head but they are still real things and they still hurt) are so much louder#i dont know where im going with this. im just thinking. excuse the brain barf#or dont. whatever. im just.. acknowledging my recent feelings. there is a reason i had a breakdown few days ago and yesterday was so rough#i should probably go to bed. sorry about this#its not gonna change anything in how stuff is viewed or how im gonna act about it but just.. you know. putting this out there#the inequality of how art is treated just has me thinking. that maybe im not made for this#maybe i should just be the below mediocre visual artist that does things that give them no happiness just cause it gets more attention#idk. just. yeah#good night#night is an absolute mess on main
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macroglossus · 1 year ago
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it's genuinely so difficult to know if i'm going overboard/'giving in' in regards to my Fears bc some things are like. i feel like they're legitimate precautions... like im going to send a bug in to get identified because i don't know how get rid of the bug if i dont know what the fuck it is and im getting weird looks for it. is that not a reasonable thing to do if i can't figure out what the fuck the bug is from the internet?? is this not the logical next step???
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isn't it wild that you can look into things that destructive cults do to make people susceptible to brainwashing and realize that those are things you do to yourself when depressed
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