#my cringe is being posted HERE and NOW
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Have I made both mha and sonic fans and the ones who follow me just bc my silly brain decided that I must talk about what I think at all times, happy today. Are we fed. Did I doom scroll enough for you all.
You make me sick.
Pls stay I have not stopped making metas I’m just depressed and scared. This goes for anons as well I’m so sorry I haven’t checked my ask box
#do y’all wanna know how many drafts I have#it’s a lot#it’s over 100 at this point#mayhaps the izuku misogyny meta will happen. one day.#I also have thoughts on eggman but I’m not sonic fan enough to talk about that yet#and I’m thinking about totk again. does anyone still care about that? because I do. I never stopped thinking about era of the wilds.#like that’s where I’m at I want to be a general fandom account so badly because at the end of the day I’m autistic#and I started this account bc I was getting too autistic and too much about mha#so I started talking here#but now mha is… ended. and it’s been ended. and it’s not entirely over. we still have sketches sometimes and season 8 to look forward to#but it’s not going to be those semi weekly updates anymore. what is left to analyze is what exists.#and I’d love to talk about those things. mha will probably always be my special interest. it’ll probably remain the one constant in all of-#my art and writing and personality and world view and morals. forever. it will be apart of me forever#but I think unless I start posting about my analysis of various BkDk fanfic on here (which would require posting what I READ. EW.#I won’t say I’ll run out of things to talk about but I won’t be saying anything of importance anymore yk?#I try to generally only post what I think is interesting and original now.#and you can only do so much of that with ONE MANGA.. yk?#anyway#maybe y’all will get into what I like from now on bc I’m kind of tired of being too afraid to reblog other stuff#and making random sideblogs Willy Nilly#my cringe is being posted HERE and NOW
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Owen → Cringe gays [affectionate] → Wife
[cowboy au]
#Dear google how draw wohuhman?#google how draw whamun#google wamnahamanan how?#Almost scrapped the second panel because its soo... so lazy...but i stayed strong even tho my eye is twitching#Saf#spies are forever#Cowboys are forever#art#fanart#Agent curt mega#Owen carvour#Tatiana Slozhno#Yee-hawen Carvour - Tat-yee-haw-na - and Curt... uh... curt yee??... Curt yee-meg-haw#anyway there we go - i promise i’m done with the cowboy stuff [for now]#at least posting it#Also me drawing/making clothes: how boring can i possibly make these... lets see#why is a brit and a russian even out here being cowboys? we'll never know#I should have drawn curt with a head shot as well because i really need to do him some justice but to late now!#Cowboys your spies#i realized all my “fan-oc”’s[which i said i don’t really do] are animals - Chat am I cringe/hj
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Dumb old comic and other gay stuff WHATEVER WHATEVER DONT LOOK AT ME!
#one piece#sanami#but its yuri now heh..#sanami can be awesome if you know how to look at it in my humble opinion#(Nami is the one wearping pants in the relationship)#and sanji is in the verge of passing out every time his affections are reciprocated or something I think#this is old and stupid but Im feeling generous today and Im posting it here too because who CARES!#I LOVE BEING CRINGE!#silkart
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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everyones more than welcome to send me asks about stuff* btw, i know i havent been that good in answering, but i think thats largely bc i always want to do too much, like .. drawing entire character design sheets and everything and then never having the energy or motivation for it so it sits around like all of my hundreds of wips i never finished bc i lost energy/motivation, waiting for it to come back .. which might never happen (and i still dont know how to handle compliments ,, i might never will tbh- if i havent answered a compliment its very very likely i dont know how to properly convey my gratitude- feeling like theres no amount of things i can do or say to 'pay back'? ... kinda weird if you think about it .. but i am weird so what do i know jsklfnhsdk, i promise you i treasure it)
im pretty sure not everyone that sends an ask expects a drawing or multiple and pages long text right? thats my skewed perspective isnt it?
*stuff being like .. about my ocs, about my zelda comic, about the totk rewrite project, suggestions, ideas, rants too, kind of anything though im less likely to respond to personal things (and in case theres anyone newer to tumblr, asks dont have to be literal questions, you can write in those what you want, i like them alot bc its a lil message without the chat type of commitment to it ... im even worse at keeping up responding in chats (not intentionally .. my short term memory sucks) o3o)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#i might ... have gotten some of my art spark back .... i think#i dont want to announce anything before knowing for sure#but i was able to fix the comic panel i kept getting frustrated on today so im countign that as a win#............... in case you are one of the at least 8 people who saw the oc post i wrote yesterday btw ... sorry my fear of being cringe wo#i deleted it earlier today T-T#i still feel like im making myself too vunerable talking about my ocs#like oh gods i cant write things like that .. scenes out of context that mean alot to me but are jsut werid to read for others#i fought the cringe fear for a long time but it still won#if you dont know- its nothing to worry about ... just got mad at myself for wasting an entire evening just daydreaming about ocs again-#and added a really sloppy summarized version of a scene i came up with for them that made me feel things but makes no sense-#-and has no weight written in tags like that so uuuuh thats gone now dfjkgndfjknjkd#i sometimes think i shouldnt be allowed to make posts past 10 pm but here i am writing one at .. FRICK ... 1am again#....going to bed now .. woops
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screw it. i'm not a coward. detailed miitopia crossover blorbo cacophony poster i drew last summer be upon ye
anyway here's my beloved stinky miitopia party, i've been building up a crossover story in miitopia since i first played the game many years ago, and as my interests have evolved, so has my cast for every replay. (i have genuinely lost count of how many times i have replayed this game)
i'm cringe but free etc etc.... sayaka/lissa/alfred aka aph america have been here the longest (my legacy blorbos, if you will) and are always on my endgame team, so they have immunity. everyone else has been loosely swapped around until it's settled into the form it's in now (and it still might change when i get obsessed with miitopia again). the town/story npcs are not as important or consistent across playthroughs, they're easily swapped around with random characters i find in mii central. the only exception is the great sage, whom i've drawn here. i also think waluigi is my new main dark lord, since he was my first thief before therion entered the picture. never actually drawn him though
cirno is my main protagonist because she is my ultimate legacy blorbo. in my loose story adapting this adventure i like to think she gets the elf class as a mandatory story beat like an fe lord during the arc where the whole gang is getting back together in karkaton. (elf design here is kinda bad, i swear i had a design doodled of it in my sketchbooks but i couldn't find it so i had to improvise)
i had three other "travelers hub" characters in the mage/imp/princess class but i never got around to drawing them because to be honest my miitopia resurgence kinda faded once i finished these drawings........ but i'll get to them too! all these designs are either loosely based off of existing outfits in the game or ones i straight up pulled outta my ass lmao
i really wanna write fic for this ngl
#mayor doidles#fanart#miitopia#once again no fandom tagging here i cannot expose my ass to the cool wariware/mother fans#i will tag the characters now that enough time has passed and my post won't appear at the top of tags. lol#5-volt#sayaka miki#therion#jeff andonuts#lissa fire emblem#kaito#hmm do i wanna tag aph america actually. i'll get back to you on that#giorno giovanna#ichimatsu matsuno#digital art#cell shaded#simple/sketch#SORRY i am being coy but. the cringe still has its shackles on me#anyway i will always love miitopia for its crossover potential but i always feel left out in miitopia communities bc all my characters are#fandom characters and not cool as hell ocs. damn......#long post
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After watching next week's trailer again, I noticed that panels from chapter 89 were shown in it? If we're getting both chapters animated in a single episode (making it episode 11), and we also got 12 episodes in total for season 7, then what arc will be animated for the season finale? :o
#i hope the pacing will be okay... i'm looking forward to cry my eyes out next week without cringing about the episode's speed being everywhe#on the bright side! a single ep for this arc would mean i can feel devastated in one go without having to wait in suspense for the 2nd ep#but now i'm left wondering what arc will the last episode cover... i thought the tumblr users here had made perfect predictions of all the#episodes that we'll be getting in this season. so this realization came out as a surprise to me ngl... i can't stop wondering about it#please feel free to brainstorm and interact in this post!!! I fear I'll drive myself crazy thinking about the possibilities lmaooo 😭🙏#natsume yuujinchou#natsume yuujinchou s7#natsuyuu#natsume's book of friends#natsuyuu anime#natsuyuu s7#natsuyuu manga#natsuyuu spoilers#natsuyuu s7 spoilers#natsume reiko#morinaga souko
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What does kin mean?
The meaning can tend to vary depending on who you ask, but it generally means (TLDR:) identifying with a character in some way. Although it originated from the term "otherkin", which means identifying with an animal/another species, the way it's typically used in this context refers to "fictionkin".
Many people use it to describe simply relating strongly to a character and don't really see themselves as the character in any way, but it was originally used to describe identifying as the character in a spiritual/psychological way. To clarify, it doesn't mean that you think you literally are that character right now, in a physical way etc. It's more of an identity thing. (I could go more in-depth on what that means, but I'm going to assume that's more information than you're looking for.)
It's kind of a Tumblr/internet culture thing, but I'm not very involved in the community or anything because it's more of a personal thing for me specifically, so. I really don't feel like the best person to ask if you have any more questions. I apologize if that's too much information for such a simple question; I guess it's a bit complicated to explain.
#ask#anon#anonymous#i feel embarrassed dumping all this information here out of the blue like i know more than i should.#especially with this being the kind of thing a large number of people find weird or 'cringe'. but whatever.#like i said it's more of a personal thing to me so i don't ever post about it and probably won't in the future unless asked about it.#which i am not opposed to because AS YOU CAN SEE I really like going on and on about things.#it's taking all my restraint not to type up every single piece of irrelevant information i have on this topic right now.#please please please don't send me mean asks or anything related to discourse or whatever after this. I'm just a little guy.
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I keep trying to post shit I been drawing lately BUT I CANT. I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO. THE WORMS INSIDE MY HEAD DO NOT APPROVE OF THEM. I CANNOT FUCKING DRAW. PUT ME DOWN. I DONT FEEL THE SILLY IN ME.
#If I had the fucking time to draw at home my life would be sparkles and glitter#I feel like my skills are falling away from my grasp#Bc wdym I was fr cooking before I came back to school and now this junk happens#I’m probably just out of energy from everything that’s been going on in my school#And I think I said som in the tags of one of my latest posts about a new girl in class that’s funny n shi. Well she isn’t.#I’m starting to hate her bc she’s cringe and quirky as hell but not in an actually funny way it’s just annoying#And she’s always cutting me and other people off in irl convos and acting like the goofy main character#While also being so unbelievably stupid like we have to repeat things to her over and over again and it’s just. So much.#I feel bad for being an absolute hater but she’s genuinely becoming more and more insufferable and it’s just her second week here#Idk how my friends put up w her but I look at their faces and I can tell they’re done w her sometimes#It’s not that she’s a bad person she’s just. So cringe. In a bad way. Not in a “let people be cringe” cringe way. Just cringe.#Like I swear she’s an absolute ditz#Or whatever the word is in english#Why am I just hating on this random girl nobody on here knows irl mb but I had to get it out 😭#Ugghhhhhhggg I’m sorry for not posting anything too interesting chat#I know I technically do post quite often but I don’t feel as artistically satisfied with myself as I felt before#oh and I’m also going to try reaching out to some teachers I kinda trust ab how I feel mentally and shi#Maybe they’ll talk to me#i hope they do#I just don’t feel like myself anymore it’s like I’m two entirely different people online and irl#im so much more open online and irl I’m like an actual nobody. Not degradingly I’m seriously just not sociable 😭#But ummm yeah whatevz I guess#vent#vent post#personal rant
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I haven't really done much art for tumblr (at all) lately, cus life, but! Here's a lil something I've been working on (it's a Xmas gift) 💙
(also peep that lil January calendar painting 👀 i did mini squares for each month for myself, because I need to have a physical one always, and they each have their own colour 🥺)
#sometimes i forget i'm a painter lol#this is just the base so i'll still add some cool stuff (colours and some gold leaf details hehe)#usually my thing is more flat/less busy painting (with more mixed media) but i've been digging this vibe lately#my art account is completely wiped cus i private everything earlier this year (same with personal)#but i wanna start posting again. not just old stuff but actually *make* something new everyday#like a little challenge i suppose#since i'm not currently working in my field and have being going through a bit of a rough adjustment period about ✨things✨#(plus the whole depresh spiraling)#i barely have been making any art at all that isn't just sketches/silly stuff#i miss painting. i miss making murals and working on an actual project etc#now that *some * things have been settled AND i finally have my own space i feel a lot more keen on working on it#i know i hardly ever talk about that part of my private life cus i do wanna keep it somewhat separate from here#but i guess i'm in a good mood and kinda ready to admit some stuff#??? that didn't make sense#i'm feeling hopeful for next year and have a semblance of a plan. That's what I meant there you go#i can already feel myself cringe cus everytime i share these type of things something ALWAYS bites my ankles#and that's why i hardly ever share anything at all with anyone ever until it actually is done or underway#which is! not good! i'm aware! but. ya know#ANYWAYS. rant over. look at the pretty colours and ignore my rambles#hmmmm my band crush guy (platonic) (guess who) (🕊️🥁) said my name and loved my super insightful question and i'll probably dream about it#(and the other really liked it too. MY BABE. it was kinda silly so very unexpected)#(okay i think this is buried deep enough to not make myself look like a 12 with a stupid crush) (hehehehehe)#darya does art#<- sure in the art tag it goes#blue#(it was a coincidence! i've never done anything exclusively blue before actually!) (in this capacity i mean)#traditional art#abstract painting
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Spring Nap time 💤 🐰
#fire emblem heroes#fe heroes#fe alfonse#alfonse fire emblem#alfonse feh#summoner oc#kiran x alfonse#summoner x Alfonse#kiralfonse#oc x Alfonse#myn art tag#summoner cresselia tag#hi I’m here to be cringe again#on my kiralfonse agenda w my summoner oc#spring nap time style#ignore that it’s fall#I’ve had this sitting for a while but never posted it to tumblr#so here we go!#did fix things slightly between when I first posted to Twitter and now#anyway thank you for indulging me in being cringe and self indulgent#it will happen again#feh summoner oc#feh summoner
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I do think a good chunk of the 'cringey atheist' stereotype did come from the fact that, especially americans, regardless of their actual religious status are just casually christian and refer to things through a religious filter and that isn't seen for how overwhelming/obnoxious/frustrating it is. Its absense, such as when writing a story and things like "oh god" or other casual references are remove or replaced, is seen as notable the same way people find the cast being all women or queer being 'abnormal'.
And I think more people, especially here on tumblr, should take a moment from ragging on some kid being "cringey" saying god doesn't exist or making atheist jump around like dancing monkeys to establish they're one of the good respectful ones before they ever even begin to talk about their own thoughts, and examine why so much content just inserts god into a conversation that had nothing to do with religion like it's the expected norm, the same way they examine the invasiveness of casual heteronormativity.
#this is just cause an ex christian youtuber i otherwise like refers to any extreme emotional experience as a 'religious experience'#as if everyone can agree on it being so#and theres more than a few posts on here that make me wonder why#so many people are incapable of making something 'poetic' or 'great' without invoking religious imagery#even where it had no relevance#atheism#anyways#ive seen uncomfortably similar treatment that aces in particular have received for pointing out amatonormativity in a post#its rare these days though because atheists have long since been thuroughly shamed in american society as being edgy#which like wooow a christian nation that shames every other religion in some way found a way to shame nonreligious too? shocking#actually i get kinda annoyed when i think about it its one of those propaganda that people casually buy into#without examining it at all#youll see atheists acting like dancing monkeys trying to establish theyre not cringe guys its okay#just to talk about how they feel and think#i remember being a young adult and when someone started talking to me with the assumption of god being in the picture#and id get an eye roll like i was being childish not going along with it nevermind they inserted god into the convo in the first place#without question or comment#and i know it wasnt forceful the same way some ex religious folks can get a bit zealous the same way they were about religion#which theres something to eb said for that zealousness being acceptable when christian but not when atheist or another religion#but ive never gone through such a phase my family has been atheist for several generations now and we were taught to respect beliefs#anyways sorry idk why this is on my brain this afternoon i think i saw a post or smth and it reminded me of that youtuber
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i have a headache
#i've been stuck scrolling instagram for the past few days#i don't even like being on there#modern ig is so overstimulating everything is either a reel or a reel in disguise or an image post that inexplicably has audio#i kept making myself go on there because i wanted to find a way to make art friends or a community or w/e#and i thought if i had more of a presence and interacted more i'd eventually get people to like. talk to me and comment stuff ig. idk#but ughhhh#i don't think insta is a good platform for that cause it's either pictures with a short caption or the worst media format known to man#like. idk i wanted to find and follow and be friends with and be Cool Artists (don't ask me to define that)#but no artist on instagram is a Cool Artist because there's no goddamn text on there#like if it makes sense i wanna find people who talk About art as well#but not in an art Discourse way#which is another thing. even if instagram had more Talking it would still be shit because the mainstream 'art community' is insufferable#art tiktok is that on steroids#and instagram is is bootleg tiktok#the same five discourse topics jokes memes advice whatever the only difference is now they're circlejerking about ai too#i wanna be Casual and Spontaenous and Mysterious and shit but IG's layout makes me feel like i can't just post whatever#i feel this pressure to give my posts all the same format and add tags and do this and do that and have good Branding or w/e#and it's just ughhh why can't I be a famous enigma (<- doesn't make or share anything)#even on tumblr the pressure is the same#and at the same time i hate looking back on my art accounts (both ig and here) because it just. doesn't align with what i wanna do#like my attempts at categorising and tagging and being consistent#it's just so. yuck#i want to have a Good Brand but i also want to be 'real' but then i look back at my disjointed messy past work and i cringe#i think i need to block my irls from my art accounts bc i feel super embarassed trying to do any typical Get Noticed on Social Media thing#cause it feels embarassing being seen doing shit that's ''influencer-y'' (idk what to call it)#cause it feels out of character to how i actually am in real life#but also why i do want to show my ''real'' character? I'm not cool#and that's another thing I've had these accounts for ages#looking at my past posts makes me fuckign cringe#I want to purge them or start over
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sighs and collapses and disintegrates into the wind
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent post#ah yes. another restless nights sleep in a cold room bc i was too upset and sick to eat enough yesterday and my nightmares won’t let up and#my heater isn’t enough to warm the room when it’s this fucking cold outside. but it’s fine bc i don’t think i deserve to be warmer anyway#i should get water but i’ve been stuck laying here for an hour wondering if im racist and feeling like i should just. leave. or smthn. idk#i need a caregiver so there’s someone here to stop me from doomscrolling tumblr and reddit discourse for two hours before bed. lol#but ig no matter how careful i try to be there’ll always be part of me thats. unconsciously? racist? bc im white so its just part of me#idk im not educated enough to talk about it so i guess the real lesson to learn here is to keep my fucking mouth shut. which i can do!#i don’t. know how to apologize correctly. bc no one wants to hear me piss and moan abt my white guilt. if that’s what it even is#im too stupid to understand what to do or say and the more i type the worse it sounds so im just. sorry. i apologize for anything i’ve said#or done. that wasn’t right or was insensitive or thoughtless or uneducated or. whatever else it is i rlly don’t know#i didn’t mean to use AAVE. i really didn’t know. so i’ll go edit the tag where i used it but. that’s only one example. how many more am i#unaware of? how often do i put my foot in my mouth and not know it? im sorry. i’ll try to do better#but there’s so much to be mindful of that i can’t keep track of it all and it’s overwhelming me so i think i should just. be quiet.#‘always a fanfic writer at the scene of the crime’ i. didn’t know there was a connection between racism and fanfic. now im worried#was that just an easy jab to make bc it’s cringe or is it actually problematic. why does it seem like theres smthn wrong w everything i do#anyways. i have to stop thinking abt it or im gonna anxiety vomit. i could go lay on the couch#it in the only warm room of the house but it’s covered in dog hair and i hate the smell from the stupid fucking propane heater#it gives me a headache and makes me paranoid. why did he install gas heat when he could’ve gone with a heat pump. all he did was make#everything harder on everybody. so now we have dangerous gas heat in the winter and shitty mold-filled window ac units in the summer#when he could’ve installed a heat pump/ac unit combo thingy and we would’ve been good to go. why is he like this.#YOURE A GODDAMN ELECTRICIAN. HAVE BEEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. SO ACT LIKE IT.#im staying in bed. the rest of the house reeks of burnt plastic bc SOMEONE decided to take FOUR sedatives and drink a couple beers before#trying to use the stove to cook dinner :))) so now i have to figure out how to clean that up. i take back everything i said about winter#being my favorite season. this shit fucking sucks. there’s so much more to stress over and it’s all so much more expensive and exhausting#i never want another dog or cat ever again after these two pass. im not the person i once was and i cannot care for them like i used to.#i can’t even care for myself. couldn’t if i Wanted to right now bc everything is frozen solid. can’t shower. can’t do any laundry.#just get to sit here filthy cold and miserable in the one clean-ish sweater i have left for ? days until temps get back above freezing#anyways thats enough bitching abt my first world problems. time to shut up and be grateful for what i Do have bc it could be a Lot worse
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see like i've never been a super conscious user of australian slang & my accent is fairly mild so back home i'm like. often never the most aussie-sounding person in the room? but being overseas has just been a long string of wondering why other people don't understand what i'm saying 😭😭😭😭
#personal#that post is putting soooo many things in perspective LMAO there's so much i never realised other people don't say...............#like istg i have offered to shout drinks and stuff for colleagues here#& then they have. to my mind responded oddly?#like i'll say oh i'll shout you and they won't rlly respond/will go on and pay without even saying 'oh no it's ok'#which would be like. the expected interaction you know#and i've always been like huh but i offered........#flash forward to now when i'm like. oh you guys just didn't know what i was saying huh 💀#anyways being overseas has rlly sorted out my cultural cringe and made me feel much more australian than before#bc i'm like. oh no i'm not british at all actually. this is so much more different than i thought#so i will NOT be stopping i will be making myself WORSE
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guys when the disability is disabling 👎
#sorry stupid vent post <3#im gonna be angry in the tags here for a second#im just. idk. sick of being aware of the fact that im getting worse.#i had a week off from work for moving and school purposes#and now that im back i am . oh boy 👍 not great#literally passed out this morning which . thats new. dont like that.#hopefully its just a . one off thing. i dont know. but. idk.#something something capitalism something something ableism something something im tired of this grandpa#i am tired of being in pain <3 im tired of feeling like im falling behind constantly and like im letting everyone down#by just not being able to do the things i feel i should be able to do.#and like. also currently looking at wfh jobs bc i do not think my body can handle school and work and having to stand and walk and stairs#that much . every single day.#and i feel bad about that too bc i transfered to this store ! i put in work to be here at this store and my fucking body is giving out !!#its not even bad. its a much quieter store than the one i came from. everyone ive talked to is nice. the manager is understanding#and i hate that i feel like im just. deteriorating. and failing at everything <3#but like whatever . its whatever. i know its just the. internalized shit of 'yeah but im not bad enough to warrant this'#like ! fuck !#idk. things to bring up in therapy i guess <3#ok goop night sorry for this. i wont be deleting bc fuck me if i ever delete a post. cringe is dead or wtvr
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