#my contribution to transgender day

[vampyearn]

how are you a tumblr user and simultaneously transphobic & a fascist. like you are on the rainbow cringefail website ? destiel ? marxengels? home of the butch blood-drenched lesbian ?? ???

[jksnrabbit]

The G in Gilf stands for Glenn

this was mostly for anatomy practice then i got bored so here !!!! no shirt glenn. happy hot glenn summer

here you go freaks. eat up

[uncanny-tranny]

I often see this impulse from other trans men* that involves hypervigilance of being one of the "good men" who set ourselves apart from the men who hurt others, and I wonder if this ultra-policing actually prevents us from being "bad"

I wonder if agonizing about doing everything "right" is only contributing to poor mental health of trans men* because you are seeing a distorted, monstrous version of yourself, somebody with whom you have to kill off. It forces you into this space of having to be perfect, to beat yourself up over any perceived infraction.

And I just don't think it's an effective measure to ensure we are "one of the good ones." Constantly treating yourself as the beast, treating yourself like a leper who has no place in the civilized world? How does that ensure that you both treat others well but also ensure that you aren't fucking miserable every single moment you're not alone?

[transmascmikey]

X

my gifs do not repost without credit

[thenerdymouse]

Sonic the Human!

Happy International Transgender Day of Visibility from me! I decided to draw Sonic as a girl here [this is not a genderswap, I swear!], so I can contribute. I don't know if it means much.

I hope you enjoy it!

[majorleagueupdates]

happy opening day to old people who keep score in the stands, field pigeons who harrass outfielders during play, snack shack workers, ticket takers, lesbians on game day dates, girls who play on Little League teams, cotton candy hawkers, whoever repairs and replaces the lightbulbs in stadium lights, radio board operators, shitty bisexual stadium DJs, non-American players, transgender fans of all kinds, field maintenance workers who trip pulling the tarp up, abysmal first pitch throwers, Renel Brooks-Moon, people who take the bus, train, or ferry to games, my boyfriend, first time fans, lifelong fans, diva pitchers, diva shortstops, guys who sell hotdogs and merch on the sidewalk after games, minor leaguers, college softball players who are better than all baseball players but never get paid for their contributions to the sport, seagulls who shit on people and then take their french fries, umpires who get silly with it calling strikes, camera operators, stadium janitors, and you.

[squirrelboidyke]

i've been working on this ALL DAY!!! the breaking faces into shapes technique really ended up coming in handy when trying new angles! i'm so proud of him aaaaaaaaaaa!! this is my fursona wip (w the references on the side to keep looking back at) as of this moment! i took a break from sketching to screenshot my progress and post for my moots and new friends who may come across me!

i tried a realism approach at first, but it was driving me nuts doing all that line work and trying to balance the face against the body, the character against the background, the angles, ect. i just kept going hoping i'd be happy with it eventually but the more i drew, the more i hated it haha. i worked on it for probably a good 8 hrs yesterday just to end up scrapping it for now, but maybe i'll try redrawing it once i've solidified my drawing style a bit more? anyway..

here he is!! he's 28, uses he/they pronouns, and is an autistic nonbinary lesbian like me! i don't have any idea what their name is yet, using my own name feels like a cop-out, so it won't be fae. if anyone has any interesting masc/unisex names to share i'd love to hear them while i workshop the finer details of his design. excited to keep working on this, and keep improving! i'd also love to hear any opinions, advice, ect on them so far too!

finally after over half a year trying to figure it out, i have decided on a fursona species! i've just generally been a squirrel, not really able to choose only one species and coat design with such an amazing range of beautiful and interesting squirrels to pick from. but this baby and their pink snoot has won me over!!

it's official- i'm a grizzled giant squirrel, also known as the national animal of sri lanka 🇱🇰🐿

i'm currently working on my first sketch based off of this squirrel, i haven't drawn digitally or traditionally for almost a decade now so i'm rusty and honestly don't even have a distinctive style anymore.. but i'm still going to do my best! i have saved and studied hundreds of references to help me get started again. i started yesterday with a few hours of taking photos of squirrels (especially the faces and complicated feet/paw pads) and breaking them down into shapes over and over to help me get an idea of how expressions would work on a squirrel's face. the grizzled giant squirrel has a slimmer face, naked snout, shorter ears with fur tufts at the tips, slightly different/bigger body proportions, and a longer, thinner tail compared to the eastern grey, fox, and brown squirrels i've been referencing up until this point. but the shapes making up the face as well as the body are the same, so a few adjustments and what i learned yesterday will still be helpful knowledge with my new squirrelsona species. wish me luck, friends! as soon as i get a sketch i'm somewhat happy with i'll post the wip in the first of hopefully many art posts to come! 💞

[quasi-normalcy]

I know that this is the "Turning social problems into matters of individual virtue" website, but here's one change that you can make to yourself as an individual that I honestly think will have beneficial collective effects:

Stop Thinking You're Better Than Other People.

Do I mean that you should go through life thinking that you're the lowliest and most wretched scum who's ever lived? No. I mean that there exists no meaningful criterion by which one human being can be said to be absolutely 'better' than another. And even if there was, you don't know enough about other people's circumstances and interior thoughts to meaningfully judge them in these absolute terms. So don't even try! It's a futile endeavour.

"But what about fascists? Surely I'm better than them!"

Okay, so let me preface this by saying that fascists are dangerous, they're misguided, their acts and intentions are evil, and they need to be stopped, including through physical violence. But you're not better than them. I know that this is a difficult pill to swallow; I myself used to pat myself used to pat myself on the back because, well, at least I wouldn't have been a Nazi. But you know what? If the circumstances were right, I could have been. We all could have been, just as we all could have joined a cult at some point.

Looking at myself, for example: there was never any serious possibility that I could have been swept up into the alt-right movement. Why? Because I'm transgender, and I was raised to be a socialist. How easy it is to *not* become a fascist when you're one of their scapegoats! How much harder it would be to avoid if you're one of the people they flatter and groom, if you're raised by people who are sympathetic to fascist ideals, if you grow up in a community where such ideals are common! The fact that fascist movements can seemingly emerge amongst every nation and people--including those who have historically been victims of fascism--confirms this. What if I had lived a hundred years later, at a time when transgenderism was a complete non-issue, and they'd moved on to some new scapegoat? What if they had approached me on my absolute worst day and told me that all of my problems were caused by moochers and parasites, and that I could fight back and claim my birth right by joining them? Can I really say that I wouldn't? Can anyone?

But even beyond that, what is a fascist but the ultimate example of someone who needs to feel superior to others? What is scapegoating but the act of selecting an entire group of people and declaring them to be inferior to you? And if you just refuse to believe these things; if you refuse to accept the premise that some people are better than others, and call it out whenever it comes up; then you're cutting these movements off at knees! The ideological force of fascism comes from imagining humanity as a strict hierarchy, with the master race on top and the degenerates on the bottom. Simply refuse to believe in such a hierarchy! Refuse to even entertain it!

"But then how can I feel self-esteem? How can I feel that I matter and have value?"

You have value just by existing as a person! But if that's not enough for you, then try this: instead of trying to increase your sense of self-worth by finding people to feel superior to, increase it by being of value to others. Help them! Make their lives better! Contribute to society! Not even in a way that you can (necessarily) put a dollar value on, but in any way you can! Create art! Plant a pollinator garden! Tell a joke! Make someone happy! If nothing else, you can at least give someone love, and I guarantee you that that will be of value to them. The universe is so vast and we're all so small that any value we can ever have will only ever be to each other. And surely it beats spending your life trying to be king of the microbes.

[tigergirltail]

My life for the pink, white, and blue.

The transgender community is the first time in my life that I've felt truly connected to something larger and more powerful than myself, and I would pass from this world happy if at the end of my days I know that I have made a meaningful contribution to it.

My life for the pink, white, and blue.

Happy Pride Month 2024!!

Art thoughts under the cut:

I put everything I have into this one. It deserved it. What little I know about shading, backgrounds, brush types, there was a lot of experimentation too. I think it paid off.

Appropriately, I have a lot of pride in this one, especially considering the original sketch was... this:

[communistkenobi]

Kind off topic from your actual posts but I like when you use the phrase “ceding ground” in an argument. I may have said this before. It’s a little combative which is helpful in terms of thinking about what in the goal of making a certain statement or responding to something someone said.

YES!!!!! it has been so helpful to my understanding of the world to think of all discourse as ‘situated,’ as part of and connected to (contested) social and political contexts. speech is an act that does something in the world. It is why we understand saying “I do” or “I promise” is both a speech and an act, not merely speaking but speaking a social obligation into existence through speech. And we also understand that these words are backed by various forms of power - “I do” as a wedding vow is a speech-act, but one that only has force as a speech-act because the church and the state enshrine marriage legally & institutionally. To say “I do” is to get married, to enter into a social unit (‘the family’ or ‘the household’) that is the foundation of many state administrative and economic processes like census data, tax records, wages, urban planning, social service provisions, and so on. 

And in that context we understand that speech is not just contributing free-floating ideas to some public square or marketplace where we all weigh and measure the merits of each one, but that it is tied to and articulates specific visions of power. When speaking of “biological sex,” this is not an innocent or simple ‘fact’ that is being contested; you are invoking the authority of medical institutions that produce this source of knowledge & all the violences therein. You are invoking justifications for eg US political histories of white women being as legally classified as non-labourers and non-white women as an eternally labouring underclass. You are invoking histories of psychiatric violence that insists transgender people are suffering from behavioural, sexual, and identity disorders. You are invoking the rationale behind medical violence done to intersex people. “Sex is biological” is a violent sentiment because it is produced as knowledge through violence.

And of course many people don’t realise they are doing this, they don’t know these histories, but the principle is generalisable and can be recognised by anyone (hate speech is probably the most ‘classic’ example for guys who love talking about free speech, see also yelling “bomb” in an airport). discourse is historically situated & the refusal to acknowledge this is endlessly frustrating. Like the “Protestant work ethic” didn’t emerge from the ground fully formed one day, it was produced in material processes of history. You don’t just ‘say’ something, you articulate visions of power. And “sex is biological” is a eugenicist, colonial vision of power. That is contested ground and not an inch should be given, not in discourse, not in research, not in policy, not in law

[ashleymilesphil]

Honoring Intersex Awareness Day: A Call to Support LGBTIQ Refugees in East Africa 🌍🌈

Today, October 26, we honor Intersex Awareness Day—a day dedicated to recognizing and supporting the intersex community around the world. For many, it's a day of visibility and celebration, but here in East Africa, for those of us living as LGBTIQ refugees, it's a day that highlights the harsh reality of our lives.

As a transgender queer refugee and a member of the broader LGBTIQ community, I’ve seen firsthand the struggles that intersex refugees face. We are often forced to flee our homes, escaping violence and persecution, only to find ourselves living in camps that offer little protection or acceptance. Many of us have endured a lifetime of discrimination, not just for our gender or sexuality, but for the simple fact of being who we are.

We Face Violence, Isolation, and Starvation

Here in the refugee camps, resources are scarce, and discrimination follows us even after we’ve fled our home countries. We lack access to basic needs like food, clean water, medical care, and safe housing. Medical treatment, especially for intersex and transgender individuals, is nearly impossible to get. Our LGBTIQ community faces daily harassment, violence, and the constant threat of starvation. We are isolated and often forgotten—our stories left unheard by the rest of the world.

A Call to the Queer World for Solidarity

On this Intersex Awareness Day, I’m reaching out to the global queer community with a plea: We need your help. As fellow members of the LGBTIQ family, I ask you to stand with us, amplify our voices, and bring awareness to the urgent situation we face. Your support can make a difference—whether it’s sharing our stories, advocating for our rights, or donating to help meet our basic needs.

How You Can Help

1. Amplify Our Stories: Share our struggles on social media, talk about the hardships LGBTIQ refugees face in East Africa, and help break the silence that surrounds us.

2. Donate: If you’re able, please consider contributing to our GoFundMe campaign, where every donation helps us secure food, clean water, medical care, and safer shelter. Every contribution, no matter how small, can save a life.⬇️🙏‼️

3. Advocate: Call for better protection of LGBTIQ refugees worldwide, and urge your local representatives and organizations to offer support and resources to those of us who have been forced to live in exile.

Our journey is a difficult one, and we can't make it through without the support of the queer community worldwide. You can be our lifeline, helping us survive and continue to fight for our right to exist in a world that too often tries to silence us.

Thank You for Standing with Us

We are grateful for every bit of support, solidarity, and care that you can offer. Together, we can ensure that no LGBTIQ refugee is left behind, and that our voices are heard—loud and clear—on this Intersex Awareness Day and beyond.

With deep gratitude,

AshleymilesPhil

[dandelionsresilience]

Dandelion News - October 1-7

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my Dandelion Doodles on Patreon!

1. Arctic ozone reaches record high in positive step for climate

“Above-average ozone levels continued to persist through September 2024. This is significant as, previously, spring has been associated with ozone depletion[….] The March 2024 ozone average peaked at 477 Dobson units (DU), which is 6 DU higher than the previous record in March 1979 and 60 DU higher than the average for the study period (1979 to 2023).”

2. Why Massachusetts loves Nibi the beaver and [won the fight] to keep her out of the wild

“Nibi, now 2 years old, is roughly the age when wild beavers embark on their journey to find a mate and build a home. [… But] if Nibi is released in October, she would be ill-prepared for the winter[…. The governor has] issued a permit for Nibi to remain at a wildlife rescue as an educational beaver and inspire folks to protect our natural world."”

3. In Madagascar, Taniala Regenerative Camp aims to heal deforestation scars

“Residents of the villages around Lambokely manage the nursery and market garden crops. “Local communities receive training in agroecology and agroforestry, benefit from improved soil fertility, and earn additional income from intercropping in the agroforestry plots. In addition, community members are incentivized to participate in tree-planting activities.””

4. Tunica-Biloxi Tribe of Louisiana Breaks Ground on $6.4 Million Affordable Housing Project

“The project’s first phase will create three-bedroom homes designed for multiple purposes, including elderly housing, emergency shelter, and support for displaced and low-income Tribal citizens. These homes will be built to meet Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) standards, ensuring accessibility for all.”

5. Scientists say painting roofs this colour could save lives: How does it keep cities cool?

“[Researchers] found that cool, light-coloured roofs installed across all of London’s roofs could have cooled the city by around 0.8C [in 2018]. [… Solar panels] could have cooled the city by around 0.3C, preventing the deaths of 96 people [… while generating] more than half the energy [used by] London during the entire year of 2018.”

6. Travis County [TX] opens center to help keep people experiencing a mental health crisis out of jail

“The walk-in urgent care facility is open 24/7 and provides immediate support for people experiencing mental health crises. From there, some patients may be referred to a residential facility[… where] patients will be able to stay for up to 90 days[….] Jailed individuals may also work with their legal teams to coordinate admission to the facility.”

7. Spain’s first transgender soccer team makes debut in regional men’s league

“A soccer team consisting entirely of transgender men has[…] become the first all-trans squad to achieve federated status in Europe. […] Spain passed a pioneering trans rights bill last year designed to make it easier to change a person’s legal gender identity. […] Players may also choose to use a name that’s different from their legal one[….]”

8. Green Status of Species: Pushing Conservation Ambitions Beyond Preventing Extinction

“[… T]he Green Status of Species [is] a new part of Red List assessments that helps tell “a species’ full conservation story.” […] In addition to quantifying species recovery, the Green Status of Species […] will help to better inform future conservation actions by shedding light on which past actions have contributed most to species recovery.”

9. Hell froze over in Texas – the state will connect to the US grid for the first time via a fed grant

“[The projects will] boost grid reliability, lower energy costs, and support the clean energy transition. […] They’ll also generate nearly 9,000 jobs, supporting local economies[…. In particular, the Texas portion is] designed to prevent outages like the ones during Winter Storm Uri that hit Texas hard in 2021.”

10. Pine martens released to be reintroduced to Devon

“Work to release 15 pine martens into woods across Dartmoor has been completed[….] The eight females and seven males have all been fitted with a radio collars to allow their movements to be tracked. […] They were kept in soft-release pens for three days to get them used to their surroundings before being allowed to run wild, staff said.”

September 22-28 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[namechangesurvey]

Would YOU like to contribute (some more) to my thesis project?

Hi, you might remember me from that other survey I did last week. The one I had to pause because I got 1400 replies in three days (sorry about that, I got slightly overwhelmed). Well, if you'd like to help me gather further data, I've made a shiny new survey that will STAY ACTIVE until 10th January!

This is part of my university work in the linguistic field of onomastics, the study of proper names. The survey takes about 10-15 minutes to do and participation is anonymous; data will not be shared with third parties.

I'm looking for participants, especially ones who

are trans*/genderqueer (binary transgender, nonbinary, genderfluid, agender, or anything in between!) and/or

have changed their first name (legal proceedings not mandatory, you just need to be using one that's different from your birth name in some way)

Please note that you are welcome to participate if these criteria do not apply to you! Also you don't need to be a native English speaker to participate, and you can complete this new survey if you've done the previous one already! (Basically, I'll be comparing the answers of this one and the old survey to see if there are any changes/noticeable trends.)

The survey is now CLOSED!

It would be lovely if folks would reblog this post and pass on the link to people they know who might be interested in participating as well!

(If you encounter any technical problems or other issues, please let me know so I can go see what's up! And get in touch if you have any questions!)

[code-es]

The women who laid the foundation of tech

EDIT: I noticed that this post ended up being reblogged by terfs. If you're transphobic this post is not for you to reblog. I want to celebrate everyone who is not a cis man in this industry, including trans women and nonbinary people in tech, and it was my mistake to only include cis women in this post when there are so many trans women and nonbinary people who have done great things in tech as well. Trans women are women and just as important.

Here you can read about trans ppl in tech, and please do:

https://www.thecodingspace.com/blog/2022-03-01-six-trans-programmers-who-shattered-the-lavender-ceiling/

https://abcnews.go.com/Business/transgender-tech-visibility-obstacles-remain/story?id=76374628

The morning of women's day i attended a super inspiring seminar about being a woman in tech at a large tech company in my city, and now I'm inspired to share what I learned with all of you!

I didn't have time to finish this post on women's day, but it's not too late to post now: every day is a day to celebrate women!

Women actually laid the foundation for a lot of the tech industry.

For example, the first computer, ENIAC, was programmed completely by women! While men were the behind the scenes engineers, it was women who did all the actual programming of ENIAC.

The women who made up the team responsible for programming it were called Jean Bartik, Kay McNulty, Betty Holberton, Marlyn Wescoff, Frances V. Spence and Ruth Teitelbaum.

I think one woman who is finally getting her overdue recognition is Ada Lovelace. She was a mathematician (also often referred to as the first programmer) who created the first algorithm in 1842, which wasn't recognized until 1953! However, since none of her machines were ever completed it was never tested in practice during her time.

She has since been celebrated by giants such as google, and she has given name to a programming language (Ada). She was also the first person to write about what is today known as AI. Back when she was practicing, computers were simply thought of as calculators. But she had an idea that if computers can understand numbers, then that can be translated to letters, and in turn that can lead to computers being able to handle words, and eventually even write, draw and create music.

Hedy Lamarr was a famous Hollywood actress in the 40's, but she was also an inventor who laid ground for what we use today for Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and GPS services.

During WW2 she wanted to contribute positviely to the military efforts against the Nazis, and she tried to figure out how to radio control torpedoes. In 1942 she patented her technology "Secret Communications System", also known as frequency hopping, which laid the foundation for the technology we use today for Wi-Fi, GPS and Bluetooth. It wasn't until 1962 that it was first used for its intended purpose, during the cuban missile crisis.

Grace Hopper invented the first compiler, called A-0, in 1955, and was also part of the Univac team, which was the company also responsible for building ENIAC. She also initiated work on the COBOL programming language.

She was also the one to coin the term "bug" in 1947. Computers back then had lights to visualize their working process (which was also a womans idea to implement btw) and bugs would be attracted to the lights, but usually that was no issue - until a bug made its way into a tube which caused the computer to stop working. Hopper taped the bug to a piece of paper and logged what caused the crash - a bug.

Dorothy Vaughan (left), alongside colleagues such as Katherine Johnson (middle) and Mary Jackson (right), was a mathematician at NASA (called NACA when she started) who worked on the orbit for the first ever manned spaceflight and later also on Apollo 11 that would take humanity to the moon!

When Vaughan started at what was then called NACA, segregation was still prevalent in the US and she was not allowed in the same areas in the office as her white colleagues. Another department was formed for the black staff, and when the director of said department unexpectedly died, she was appointed as the new director and thus became the first ever black woman at that position at NACA/NASA. In 1958 when NACA becomes NASA segregation is forbidden, and that is when Vaughan and her colleagues Johnson and Jackson started working on programming the orbit and later also Apollo 11.

Continuing on the same track of NASA and space, Margaret Hamilton was the Apollo project's first actual programmer. Hamilton became the director of software engineering at NASA in 1965, and she was also the person to first coin the term !

In the image above, she stands next to all the handwritten code that was used to send humanity to the moon. During the early stages of the project when she would speak of "sofware engineering", software development was not taken as seriously as other forms of engineering, and it wasn't regarded as a science, either. She wanted to legitimize software development as an engineering discipline, and overtime the term "software engineering" gained the same respect as any other technical discipline.

And lastly, if you're a woman in STEM, I want to highlight and celebrate you! Being a woman in a male dominated industry is not easy, we often suffer from sterotype threat and are not seen as our own individuals, but rather "the woman" in a room full of men. But just as these women, I'm sure you will achieve greatness!!

Here are some additional resources if you'd like to learn more:

https://www.history.com/news/coding-used-to-be-a-womans-job-so-it-was-paid-less-and-undervalued

https://digitalfuturesociety.com/programming-when-did-womens-work-become-a-mans-world/

And this was mainly my source for this post, but it's unfortunately only available in Swedish:

Thank you for reading ✨

[genderqueerdykes]

How can i find queer spaces irl? clubs arent really my thing, but its all i can find thats around me

good question!

this one can be tough, as bars/clubs are usually what come up the most readily when searching on google maps and social media. they can and do have days where the atmosphere is calmer but i still don't like being in bars. i think there may be some options for you, depending on your area

i would recommend checking your library if you can, a lot of the time they will advertise queer events if there are any going on in the area. if not they often times have information on local queer organizations. if you are unable to do this, universities usually have good lists of local queer events and spaces. usually people are going to say LGBT (event) so phrasing it that way may help a bit. but regardless universities often have groups that are open to the public so you may be able to find support there, or at least suggestions on where to look

you may have transgender resource or gay or lesbian resource centers in your area. you may have some type of organization that helps local queer folk get in touch with things like HRT, top surgery, drag shows, art/zine nights, when local queer businesses are hosting events and so on. if you use instagram or facebook, they are very good for finding these types of events if you search for lgbt (your area) and "local lgbt events", those kinds of things

you can also try to take a look at if you have a pride parade/event in June, you can try to find the information about who is organizing it and what types of organizations and businesses show up to those kinds of things. you may be able to find local social media pages that post about local queer events. sometimes it's something simple like a queer operated coffee or ice cream shop holding socials with reduced prices, for example. in a lot of places, there are spaces for queer minors who need somewhere to go away from alcohol, drugs, uncomfortable contact with adults, and so on

it can be harder to find spaces for adults that don't involve or contain alcohol which makes it difficult for someone like me who has a lot of trauma with that and bars. however, sometimes you can find small political organizations or even art collectives, who use parts of their buildings as queer hangout and event spaces. it's going to depend heavily on your area, so the best you can do is search for "lgbt events in my area" and "lgbt (your city)", things of that nature, as well as trying to keep an eye out for businesses you see when your'e out and about who have LGBT flags inside or outside. if they have even 1 progress pride flag it's worth asking if they can tell you about other LGBT businesses in your area or if they do any collaborations with other queer places and events

i hope any of that helps or makes sense. some places, people can find queer spaces very easily- in big urban cities in California like San Francisco, for example, has a lot of queer historical locations, political organizations, casual hangout spots, advocacy groups, resource centers, and more. some places may only have one or two spots where they can safely meet, and a lot of people are somewhere in the middle. good luck, i know it's not easy, but i hope you find something that works for you

folks are welcome to contribute any ideas they may have. take care for now!

[vaspider]

Reposting because I absolutely cannot and will not reblog a post made by someone who tags things 'q slur.' For fuck's sake, grow up.

And since I'm reposting, let's made the post better by including a source link to the entire article.

Kanegson, Jared. (1998, June.) After the Butch/FTM Conference, Why Not to Give Up on Butch/FTM/Trannyboy Coalition Building. FTM International, 5.

After the Butch/FTM Conference Why Not to Give Up on Butch/FTM/Trannyboy Coalition Building by Jaron Kanegson

I'm a transgendered person who identifies as both Butch and FTM. A faggy "Butch" who typically dates Butches/boy-dykes/FTMs, an FTM cross-dresser who responds to a range of pronouns, a bio-female who frequently passes, and partially identifies, as male, I can't squeeze my gender iden-tity into one category. As such. I felt excited, even relieved, when I first heard about the Butch/FTM Conference. Finally, I thought. a forum that would logically include genders which, like mine, incorporate elements from both the categories of Butch and FTM. And, I was happy that a spectrum of people from communities that sometimes overlap—more, I think, than many would like to admit--would be coming together to work towards change. I figured we'd have a lot to talk about regarding discrimination from the larger society, identity questions, health care, employment, sexuality, racism, etc. I am saddened to report that while some bridges were built, others were broken, particularly during the "Betrayal—What Makes It Hard To Trust Each Other" workshop. I believe that structural aspects of the conference contributed to the conflict in that workshop, and detracted from the progress that might otherwise have been made that day. Though I had briefly worked on planning the conference, I quit because I was convinced that the conference was not being planned in a constructive way. During the six-week period that I was involved in planning the conference, I attended both a general meeting and panel-planning subcommittee meetings. I also took part in conversations with various conference organizers, potential panelists, curious friends, etc. In my circle of friends, Butch and FTM describe not only categories that at times blur, but also groups that, along with femmes, MTFs, bio-fags and others, often relate as friends, lovers, roommates and members of a larger community. So, I expected the Butch/FTM Conference to build on the base of shared community that already exists, to a certain extent, in San Francisco. Instead, I found that some of the other organizers seemed to see Butch and FTM as two inherently separate, distinct, and perhaps even naturally hostile identities. One area where I saw this mindset demonstrated was in the planning of the morning panel. I thought that, of the five or six panelists, at least one should be a person with an identity specifically incorporating aspects of both Butchness and FTMhood. I suggested a number of boy-dykes and dyke-fags, all of whom identified as transgender. In response, one organizer, a Butch woman, expressed her frustration that I was "muddying" things. She stated that I was "Not respecting that the conference (was) supposed to be about Butches and FTMs." That conversation marked the end of my involvement. Ultimately, although some gender ambiguity certainly crept into the panel, no panelists with the type of gender identity I had lobbied for was included. Transfags and people younger than their mid-thirties were also absent as panelists, and all of the FTMs seemed to be former Butches. That unfortunately reinforced the idea that every FTM "gained" is a Butch "lost" and the misconception that all FTMs are straight. As well, though I know gender-flexible people of all ages, my personal experience is that younger queers are more used to the idea of alliances between dykes, fags, trannies, etc. There were other aspects of the conference that did not seem to be designed to bring people together. One example was the wording of the Harvey Milk Institute catalog course description. Originally, it described Butches and FTMs as

Butch and FTM describe not only categories that at times blur, but also groups that (along with femmes, MTFs, bio-fags and others) often relate as friends, lovers, roommates and members of a larger community. "competing for dwindling resources!" While this and other potentially inflammatory language was ultimately removed, other revisions aimed at making the language more inclusive did not stick. For example, I suggested at the general planning meeting, along with others, that we list a wider range of relevant gender identities—including a more culturally diverse range—in the course description. That way, people who identified only with certain aspects of "Butch" and/or "FTM" would know that the conference was about them, too. Five of us spent half an hour at that meeting's end rewriting the course description to specify that the conference was not strictly about "Butches" and "FTMs," but also about boy-dykes, transfags, bull-daggers, cross-dressers, anabes, marimachas, etc. While the line "All genders are welcome" stayed in the course description, the idea that the focus of the conference was about a range of gender identities was excised. Finally, while the course description set the tone for the conference, as well as drawing a particular audience, the workshop topics themselves were not conducive to alliance building. In particular, the smallest of the three after-noon discussion groups,

"Betrayal: What Makes It Hard To Trust Each Other?," ended in an emotional explosion that I fear may have left many hurt, bitter, and, worst of all. convinced that conflict between Butches and FTM is inevitable. Unfortunately, the title of the workshop alone virtually guaranteed it would be painful. The focus was negative, and on difference. I am not suggesting that there arc no under-lying tensions, nor that these tensions should not be talked about. However, I think a more positive context—such as a workshop focusing on the oppression Butches and FTMs face from larger society, including some discussion of the pain we cause each other—would have been more likely to lead to a sense of a community. Obviously I have a difference of opinion with many of the conference organizers about just who should be included in the categories of Butch and VIM, and how the conference should have been structured and focused. I do not want, however, to discount the hard work they did, nor do I want to gloss over the fact that I have heard hateful remarks about FTMs from dykes, and sexist remarks about dykes from FTMs. However, I believe that as people our society labels queer, and as people (usually) born in "female" bodies expressing masculinity, maleness and/or gender non-conformity, we have a lot in common. We also have a lot of work to do togeth-er and a lot of fun to have together. Despite my critiques, the Butch/FTM conference was an historic first effort towards community building. As someone with a foot��and friends—in each community, I hope that process will keep going.