#my college degree wasn't about being useful. it was that i loved to study and i wanted more knowledge

[ooc-themis-cattails]

School is NOT fun if you are gifted. I don't know what kind of person thinks high school is "the best time of your life," but it's sure not gifted kids.

We were bored out of our minds in the same prison hell as the rest of you, and the only difference is that we were the ones who got beat up and had no allies. It was never the cool teachers that liked you, but the unpopular ones, the ones that everyone knew picked their nose and flung the boogers at the class (though you have never actually seen it happen yourself). They would come up to you in the cafeteria in front of everyone and act like you were their best buddy, and you would want to die and sink into the floor. The cool teachers liked the funny kids, not the smart kids. When you got praised by Mr. Yorty, you wanted to disappear.

Being called smart wasn't fun; that was the opening reassurance of parent-teacher conferences before they tore into you for being inattentive or absent-minded (to you the teachers are repeating old lessons you've heard before), "not a team player" (it's hard to assign partners outside your skill level), "time waster" (because you doodled on your worksheet when you finished early), and whatever other personal flaws you might happen to have. Everyone knew you were smart. Teachers pointed it out to you so often, it was like being told you're exceptionally short or tall-- you know, you know, it's meaningless. You're not eager to hear that or interested in hearing that. All you want is for the day to pass so you can go home. As for friends, you had a choice of like 3 people who were also smart and who you could trust not to be jealous of you. One of them is an asshole, and another one you can't stand to be around because their BO makes you ill. Maybe you and the remaining kid will be friends, if you're compatible and lucky. You might not even be the same gender. You'll be friends anyway, even if your parents aren't happy about it; you can't afford to be picky. Sometimes there'd be a new kid, but even if you spent the first day being their new friend, the next day they learned you were unpopular and turned against you and made fun of you. You learned not to make friends easily or trust anyone. It was pretty lonely and you never knew when everyone's fun game was going to be picking on you for the rest of the day.

Parent/teacher expectations scaled to their skill level. I don't know what non-gifted kids' parents expect of them. Mine wanted me to get on the highest honour roll (requiring all A's) because the fact that I was always on the honour roll (requiring one A and no less than a C) wasn't interesting or meaningful because it had always been true forever. If you don't have to work hard, then everyone expects you to work VERY hard, because they know you didn't work to be good, and yet they can't help seeing you as a hard worker because you're good. If your parents ever promise you a reward, they're not asking you for an A on the exam, they're asking for a 4.0 GPA. Do gifted kids have to work hard for that? Yes, we are not born knowing the exports of Urugay, and we don't like doing 50 math problems any more than you do. Did we get better jobs than you? We did not. We are all working call centers and retail and service jobs. The kids who grew up to have good jobs were the ones who were maybe a bit above average, had amazing social skills, and could make employers like them and believe in them.

is there a word for “i was instantly good at a lot of things as a quote-unquote gifted child, and, as a result, i was able to skate by without ever being taught how to actually learn a new skill, and now that i’m an adult trying to learn new things that i can’t be good at instantaneously, i don’t have the patience or knowledge to improve on them, because skills that don’t come naturally to me just make me angry because i lived off instant gratification my whole childhood due to not ever being challenged intellectually or taught basic learning skills?” asking for a friend

[hopefullhearts]

Sickeningly Sweet [Scott Miller x Reader - Twisters]

summary: You are Tyler Owens' childhood best friend and member of his storm chasing crew. A storm outbreak means you and the gang cross paths with Storm Par on more than one occasion, and your sweet southern charm drives Scott crazy (in more than one way).

content warnings: somewhat heated kissing, no use of y/n, light name-calling/teasing, not proofread/bad writing (I have not written a fanfic in forever), bad taste in candy, & i think that is all!

word count: 3.5k

a/n: I have not written or posted on tumblr in SO long but I saw Twisters for the glenn powell craze and left with a scott/david corenswet obsession and these thoughts must come out of my head.

Shoutout to @hederasgarden and @sailor-aviator for leading the charge for the Scott girlies. All of their writings and drabbles inspired me to write this one, so check them out!

If people like this I might do a smutty part 2! I don't mind writing smut I just feel like it's not very good hahaha but let me know what you think!

--

You heavily resented the idea that guys and girls could not just be friends, because you'd be damned if Tyler Owens wasn't the best friend you ever had.

You met on the playground in Kindergarten. A boy pushed you off a swing, Tyler defended your honor, and the rest was history.

Tyler's overprotective streak made you view him like the brother you never had, and that's how your relationship remained. He was family, and that was that.

Tyler had always been interested in tornadoes, more specifically, how to track and predict them. You, on the other hand, hated science, including weather, but you loved the thrill of the chase.

In college, you studied marketing while Tyler studied meteorology. So, when Tyler had the idea to start streaming his storm chases, you were right there with him to help grow his brand.

Tyler knows he would be stupid not to credit you with all his success. You set up his streaming account, you edited all the clips and drone footage to post to his social media after the fact, and you even gave him the idea for the "Tornado Wrangler" nickname.

Now that everything was off the ground, you mostly put together streaming highlights and designed the merch, but you were right there in the backseat for every single chase, soaking up all the thrills.

This particular storm outbreak was expected to be a big one, so the whole crew strapped in for a week of bad weather, cheap motel rooms, and of course, a few run-ins with other chasers, including the guys from Storm Par.

"Storm Par's here." You said, gesturing to the fleet of white vans parked at the gas station you had just pulled up to.

"Of course they are." Tyler sighed. "There's probably going to be a lot of damage done by these storms for them to swoop in on. Just ignore them."

"No, we should be polite." You chastised him. "I'm gonna go say hi. Will you get me a cherry coke please?"

Tyler fought back an eye-roll, but nodded with a smile as you both got out of the car. "Of course."

Like everyone else in the crew, the Storm Par guys got on your last nerve. They were all a bunch of Ivy League grads who thought a more expensive degree made them better than everyone else.

However, being raised by your Mama, the epitome of Southern grace and charm, you always put a smile on your face and treated them with kindness. You even occasionally brought them food or coffee if you ran into them in the aftermath of a storm.

And even though you were blissfully unaware of the fact, this drove Scott absolutely mad.

"Hi Scott, Javi." You said cheerfully to the two boys in charge.

Scott replied with a grunt, but Javi was quick to greet you with genuine enthusiasm. "Hey! How are you?"

"I'm doing well." You nodded, smoothing your hands over your athleisure skirt. "Excited for a good chase today. How about you guys?"

"Us too." Javi nodded. "We're hoping to finally get some solid data collection today."

"Ah." You nodded, unsure what to say. You hated the idea of what they were collecting data for, but Javi seemed like a nice enough guy, and Tyler ripped on them enough for the both of you.

"Something on your mind there, princess?" Scott finally spoke, glancing away from his tablet to look down on you (literally and figuratively).

You rolled your eyes. While you would normally love to be called a princess, it always sounded like an insult coming from Scott, his voice always laced with a touch of venom.

"No, nothing at all." You smiled. "Just wondering if we'll see you guys in the aftermath if there's any damage done?"

"Why? Are you looking to increase your t-shirt sales?"

You bit your tongue, doing your best to hold your composure and not let him get to you.

"Nope, just trying to figure out if we need to make some extra to-go boxes for you guys." You decided to focus your gaze on Javi instead, finding him less intimidating.

Javi opened his mouth to speak, but Scott beat him to the punch. "I think we can find food on our own, thanks."

You took a deep breath, choosing your next words carefully. "Okay, well, the offer always stands if you change your mind."

Javi smiled and nodded. "As much as I want to see a good storm today, let's hope we don't have a ton of damage clean up."

You smiled. You knew he had a heart.

"That's something we both can agree on." You grinned. "Stay safe out there you guys!"

With that, you turned and walked away. Scott watched you go, your hair and skirt blowing side to side in the wind.

"Stay safe out there you guys." Scott mocked you under his breath.

"Yo, you don't always have to be a jerk to her, you know."

Scott gave him an unamused look. "She comes out here with her little boyfriend, selling his t-shirts and shit, and then skips over here like we're the best of friends with her thick southern accent. It's all fake."

"For one, I don't think Owens is her boyfriend." Javi corrected. "And two, I think she's just a genuinely nice person. She always says hello, even when everyone else in their crew ignores us like the plague."

"Whatever." Scott mumbled.

As you reached the truck, you took the ice-cold Coca-Cola bottle from Tyler's outstretched hand.

"Thank you!" You said excitedly, twisting the cap off to take a sip.

"How are dumb and dumber?" Tyler teased.

"Javi was nice." You informed him. "Scott was... there."

"Ah, yes." Tyler laughed. "Word on the street is he's a man of many words."

"Right." You agreed sarcastically. "But, when he does speak to me, he always calls me princess, and it drives me crazy."

"In what way?" Tyler said, failing to hold back a smirk.

It took you a moment to realize what he was implying, but when you did, you were mortified,

"Tyler Owens!" You gasped, your face flushing red with embarrassment.

""I'm just teasing you! You make it too easy." He laughed loudly. "In my defense, he looks like exactly like every boyfriend you've ever had."

Your face got even warmer, because he was exactly right. You had a weakness for tall, muscular, dark-haired men, and you especially loved a man who was a challenge.

"That is...irrelevant." You said, covering your face in your hands out of pure embarrassment.

Tyler held his hands up in surrender, as you rushed to talk about anything but Scott. "Let's just figure out what storm we're going after, you jerk." You insulted Tyler, but the smile on your face was ear to ear.

Scott watched the interaction from afar, and his chest twisted at your sickeningly sweet smile. Even if you weren't Owens' girlfriend, your closeness was evident. He ignored the burning feeling that was rising within him, not wanting to question why it was there in the first place.

Tornadoes were scary, but trying to understand how he felt about you? Terrifying.

"Alright, boss man, which storm are we chasing?" Javi pulled him out of his thoughts with a hand clapped on his shoulder, and he finally pulled his gaze away from your smile, the sound of your laughter fading into the background.

--

The storm was bad.

It hit a small town of about 3,000 people, and you estimated based on the initial damage scene that it was an EF3 at best, maybe even an EF4.

You were currently handing out anything that might be helpful to families who had been impacted by the tornado - blankets, water, heat lamps. pre-made sandwiches and cookies. You tried to offer them any comfort you could with a smile and hug, but you understood the devastation they felt all too well.

In the early days, you would try to help with the damage cleanup, but Tyler insisted that you stay back at the camper and talk to the families.

At first, you were insulted, and you thought that Tyler was insinuating you weren't strong enough to move heavy tree limbs or pieces of drywall. You finally asked him about it one day, and he laughed.

"Absolutely not!" He insisted. "You just have this energy around you that's calming, and these families need that. Your empathy and kindness are doing much more for them right now than cleaning up a bunch of rubble would."

You had never thought of it like that, but once Tyler pointed it out, it became your mission to be the solace that these families in crisis needed.

"Is there anything else we can do for you, Mrs. Smith?" You asked, rubbing the arms of a middle-aged woman who you had been speaking to for a few minutes now.

"No, thank you." She sniffled. "I really appreciate you guys being here. God bless you."

You smiled, giving her another hug. "Please let us know if there's anything more we can do to help."

She nodded, walking away to join her family, who were staring at the remains of their house.

You pushed back tears, feeling silly that this never got any easier for you, but also focused on being the anchor that these folks needed.

Scott saw you before you saw him. He watched you from afar as you did your work. He watched you force a smile and hold these people as they cried. He also watched you look up to blink back the tears before taking a deep breath and moving on to the next.

And damn if it didn't drive him nuts.

This job is easier when he doesn't get involved with the people impacted. It's easier to pretend not to care. But watching you pour your heart out to strangers, just because it's the right thing to do? It made his heart jump, and that scared him.

Ignoring the people involved and ignoring his feelings for you had become increasingly more difficult with every chase.

"Scott!" You called, approaching him with a styrofoam container in your hand.

He sighed, mentally preparing himself as you literally bounced over to him.

How the hell does someone look this good after taking on a tornado?

"Here." You offered him the container. "It's just a ham and cheese sandwich and a cookie."

"I'm really not hungry." He responded.

"Seriously?" You asked, not buying it. "We've all been chasing since 10 AM and it's nearly 8, you have to be hungry."

Scott shrugged, trying to hold back the things he really wanted to say.

"Fine." You sighed. "We're right over here if you change your mind."

"Yeah, I know princess. It's hard to miss you being the town's savior over there."

Scott watched you visibly retract and he internally screamed as his heart dropped. You probably hated him, but it didn't matter anyway. You were far too sweet for him, so putting a wedge between the two of you seemed to be the smartest way to outrun his feelings.

"Wow." You spoke, your voice much smaller and shakier than usual. "I knew you were sarcastic and maybe even a little mean, but I never thought you were actually cruel. So, thanks, for enlightening me."

And with that, you turned and strutted off. This time, you failed to fight back the tears as you returned to the camper.

And to your horror, Tyler was there, taking a break from clean up for some water.

When Tyler sees you cry, his overprotective streak comes out instantly, and right now you didn't want to be protected, because you were so embarrassed that he finally got to you. You were even more embarrassed that you thought that just maybe, he might be a good person under that scowl and hard facade.

"Hey, hey, hey, are you okay?" Tyler rushed up to meet you.

You nodded, trying to stop sniffling. "I'm fine."

Tyler looked behind you to see Scott watching you closely, with a look that almost mimicked longing, and he quickly put two and two together.

"Let me handle this." He insisted.

You shook your head in protest. "No, Tyler, please, he thinks I'm a waste of time anyways, it's not worth it."

"Trust me, he doesn't," Tyler reassured you. "Let me handle this, and if it goes badly, I'll edit all the stream highlights for the next two weeks, okay?"

"Deal." You nodded.

You truly did trust him more than anyone in your life, so you opted to go inside the camper and dry up your tears while he went to speak to Scott. You would let Tyler handle it, but no way were you going to stand there and watch, looking like a puppy who just got kicked.

"Coming to defend your girlfriend's honor?" Scott said sarcastically, trying to mask any emotion he was feeling.

"Dude, seriously." Tyler glared at him. "If you want her attention being a complete and total asshole is not the way you get it."

"Is that what you think? That I want her 'attention'?" He said, framing the last word in air quotes.

"Yeah, I do." Tyler nodded. "I saw the look you gave her as she walked away."

"Okay, so what?" Scott shrugged. "You might be surprised to know I am human and I didn't mean to make her cry."

"Sure." Tyler nodded. "So, what about all the other times I've caught you staring at her, hm?"

Scott stayed silent, stunned speechless.

"Ah, you thought you were better at hiding it, didn't you?" Tyler said with a smug grin. "Every time we end up at the same gas station, restaurant, bar, or motel, your eyes follow her nearly the whole time. And don't even get me started on the holes you burn into my head when I'm talking to her."

"Alright, fine." Scott snapped angrily. "Here to rub it in my face then?"

Tyler sighed in frustration. "No."

"Then what?"

"I'm going to give you a piece of advice."

"Why?" Scott scoffed. "It's no secret that we aren't friends."

"I know her better than anyone else, do you want my help or not?" Tyler asked, his patience nearing its limit.

Scott didn't protest this time.

"Look, no matter what I think about you, you're pretty much exactly her type," Tyler said, much to Scott's surprise. "So if you want her, apologize and tell her how you feel."

"She's not going to feel the same, and she deserves much better than me." Scott retorted. "C'mon Owens, you know what we do. When she comes floating into these broken towns like a heaven-sent angel, I'm collecting data for the devil."

"That doesn't have to be a permanent problem." Tyler pointed out. "Plus, she likes a challenge, and she's definitely brave enough to think she can fix you."

That cracked a smile from both of them, followed by a moment of silence.

"218." Tyler said.

"What?"

"That's the room she's staying in tonight." Tyler said, starting to walk away. "Apologize."

Scott nodded, beginning to formulate a plan on how the hell he was going to get you to forgive him.

--

You were snug under your blanket in the motel room watching reruns of Modern Family when the knock came.

You sighed and got up, not bothering to check the peephole as you assumed it was just Tyler coming to talk about the day's events.

So when you opened the door to see Scott standing there, you couldn't be more surprised.

"What are you doing here?" You said quietly, nearly breathless at the sight of him.

It wasn't the first time you had seen him outside of that stupid Storm Par white jumpsuit, but it was the first time you had seen him in gray sweatpants and a tight black long-sleeve shirt that clung to his muscles in a way that you could only describe as sinful.

He towered over you, leaning against the frame of the doorway, and you nearly shuddered when you looked up to meet the intense gaze in his eyes.

"I brought you something. As an apology for being an ass earlier today."

"Oh, and what did you bring for all the other times?" You spat back, no longer in the mood to play nice with him.

"I deserve that." He sighed. "Can I come in?"

"Depends." You responded, and he raised an eyebrow. "What did you bring me?"

He handed you a plastic bag, and you opened it to find a Cherry Coke, Sour Patch Kids, and a Honey Bun.

All of your favorites.

"How did you know what I like?" You asked, curious to know if Tyler was behind this.

"You always get some combination of the three at any local gas station." He shrugged.

He remembered because the first time he saw you buy all three he physically rolled his eyes, because, of course, you would buy snacks just as sickeningly sweet as you.

"I didn't know you paid this much attention to me." You said softly.

"Yeah." Scott inhaled a sharp breath. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Can I please come in?"

You opened the door, inviting him in with the gesture. The door shut behind you, and there was a brief moment of silence between you two.

"I'm sorry, for being a jerk today and every other time I'm around you." Scott started, visibly nervous as he ran a hand through his hair. "I wish I had a better explanation for why I've been such an ass."

"Yeah, so let's hear it." You said, hands on your hips. "Because I have been nothing but nice to you, even though I don't like who you work for and what they stand for."

"I know." He nodded. "At first, I thought you were being fake or sarcastic because it was unfathomable to me that you would be nice to us when you have absolutely no reason to be."

You nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"But once I learned more about you, and I realized you were being genuinely nice," Scott took a deep breath, building up all his courage. "It knocked me off my feet."

"What do you mean?" You asked, confused at what he was getting at

"I spend most of my time pretending that I don't care about the people that are devastated by all of this, because it's easier that way. But watching you bear your heart and soul to all of these people, just because you can?" Scott scoffed. "It makes it hard to pretend like I don't care about them, or more importantly, about you."

"You care about me?"

"I do." He nodded. "And I was a jerk to you because I thought it would be easier to make you hate me than it would be to admit that I have feelings for you, when you're far too good for me."

His admission stunned you. You can feel your heart thumping out of your chest as you look into his eyes, which look painstakingly vulnerable.

"I completely understand if you don't feel the same way, but I couldn't outrun these feelings anymore, and I wanted to at least let you know that I'm sorry."

The room fell silent as you processed everything he just told you. Scott was panicking inside, waiting for what felt like years for you to say something, anything.

"Do you know why I was always nice to you?" You asked him. "Because I was hoping that somewhere in there you had a good side. I needed to know that you had a heart before I could admit to myself that I felt drawn to you."

"Do you still? Feel drawn to me?"

You nodded. Stepping closer to him so that you were nearly face to face.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please." You nodded desperately, your words barely above a whisper.

His lips were on yours in a flash, and the pure intensity of the kiss nearly knocked you off your feet. It was heated and rough, but somehow gentle and passionate at the same time. His thumb grazed your cheek as he pulled you closer, and every spot his fingers touched made your skin feel like it was on fire. You couldn't get enough of him.

Once he knew you were comfortable, he took the liberty of exploring you more. His tongue slipped into your mouth gently and his teeth caught your bottom lip, causing a small whimper to come from the back of your throat.

Scott groaned at the sound, letting his mind imagine (not for the first time) all of the sounds he could pull from you.

When the two of you finally pulled away for air, he kept you close, his hands ghosting under your chin around your neck, forcing you to meet his eyes.

"You taste just as sweet as I thought you would," Scott said with a smirk.

"Shut up and kiss me again."

[thegoldensundreamer]

Love At Last

Onyankopon x black!reader

Warnings: exes, use of n word, squirting, fingering (f receiving), eating out (f receiving)

Word Count: 6.2k

He was a little older than me. A junior, and I, a sophomore. In college, you only had two focuses: have fun and study, and truthfully it helped me. No matter what anyone told me I had control to do whatever I wanted in life and didn't want anyone's opinions on how I'd be living it.

Honestly, that's what made my other ex's love me and even some, hate me.  But I mean it wasn't like he was always putting his expectations too high for me. Onyankopon just wanted to see me as my best self. When we broke up and I told him the reason as to why I couldn't do it anymore, it all really didn't make sense. I wanted to tell myself that I knew the reason as to why he was just so terrible but subconsciously I knew I didn't. And it was hard for me these past months. Really hard. I been seeing him on campus like a thousand times and he just keeps getting more beautiful and glowin like the sun.

He's the head of his team now and it never helps me that he didn't ever have any girls he just messed around with. Especially bonding and having a real relationship with his exes. Including me. And Its painful seeing him just living his life and me not hating him for any reason because he is really a great guy. So whenever I see him I make sure to shift my eyes to the complete opposite direction of where his head is at. Or even cover my face with a book or a water bottle to not have that awkward walk past. But I kind of wish he chased after me... and although I know its selfish I'm just as confused as when I left that boy. But I guess we all just have to move on.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"The assignment is still due this Sunday at 11:59 on Blackboard. I don't want any emails, text messages, or conversations next class about an extension. Period."

I honestly think Professor Rodriguez is tweaking now. No excuses? What if someone is sick or something?

The whole class groans as we pack all of our stuff. I mean, it's just a paper so I'm not tripping or anything. I just got to make sure to do it before the Que party this weekend. There's never been a problem before so I don't think I have anything to worry about.

Me and my girls have been planning to go to one of the Que parties we keep infamously hearing about. It's always wild, lit, and memorable till you graduate. All of a sudden when you get that degree they don't exist no more because you don't want no one to know of the hoe tales.

I haven't been to one of their parties yet, but Im excited. I haven't been outside in a while especially since I ended things with Ony. A few kickbacks here and there were going on this past semester for me but that's about it. I like being inside just as much or even more than I like being out.

When I walk down the university building, I put in my headphones ready to blast some Sexyy Red. That woman music got something in it I swear.

"I'm looking for the hoooesssss" I mouth to myself while I nod my head. Shit, I forgot how hard that bass goes. As I bob my head I can't remotely hear the voice behind me trying to catch my attention.

It was Jaden, one of Ony’s teammates, and he's also in Professor Rodriquez class. He gave up calling my name and just let me go.

•••

When I finally left the building and head to my car I instantly switch my music over to the Bluetooth aux and look at my assignment before I pull off. You see... he assigned it to us last Friday and I for real have just been procrastinating till now. I would say my time management is usually really good but its not.

"Ok so I got to just write about 500 words. I could do this tonight no problem."

I put down my phone and start adjusting my rear view mirror only to find light grey clouds of the day turning darker grey. I really hope it don't storm when I'm on the road.

Driving out of the lot and onto the highway, I continue blasting my hoochie playlist. Shrugging at the random pain in my heart I'm feeling, I call one of my girls talking about how much I think this party gon cut all my feelings from Ony and revive the party girl in me.

Im pulling into my apartment complex excited . I haven't been this joyous to go to a party in a while. The mere thought of shaking ass is bringing me serotonin. Just a sweet release of stress. Plus, it's Friday and the party is Saturday night so I'm definitely geeking.

When I stumble up the steps right before the entrance to my residence giddy and jovial, looking for my key, I slightly looked up. The scream in my head is definitely showing me how much I'm not over this feeling in my heart.

I stopped my movement and fought the urge to back step all the way back into my car and hide. I'm not sure why hes here at this time. It's 5:30 which isn't late for real but just a bit confusing enough to make you question why the hell someone is at your door uninvited. Especially since its here. At my apartment. And it's him. With his aura and skin glistening like oil on a hot body.

He was in some black muscle shirt with matching jogger pants. Shyly smiling at me at first but then noticing my expression, he looked down at the state of his body and cringed before looking back in my eyes. Clearly embarrassed. "Sorry you seeing me like this, I just came from practice so I'm still a little sweaty"

I secretly moaned in my head. He looks so good I had to catch my breath and his voice is still captivating up to now. I still can't forget the way he used to t-

I'm getting sidetracked. Let me regain this composure.

"Is there something you need?" I quietly ask. This is no good. The whole point is out of sight out of mind. You know how you want to block somebody on everything and really go out of your way to not see them in person so you won't have to think about them or double back? Well I feel like I'm breaking that right now. It's not my fault sure but the shame still feels the same.

Ony pulls out an object from his pocket. A white, slightly long but thin figure. He looks at it for a moment before looking up at me again and holding it up.

"I came here to give this to you. Im pretty sure it's yours. At least that's what Jaden said."

I squint my eyes in confusion at what he was holding and hurriedly looked through my tote bag to find that I did not have my Apple Pencil for my iPad.

So that's why he's here.

Apple pencils are expensive so I'm not mad. I would've been more upset if I only figured out I dropped it when I got inside and tried to start my paper. But how did he even get it?

He reached his arm out as I began to walk up to him for my pencil. I thanked him for bringing it to me and awkward silence overtook the little rain droplets that noted the thunderstorm about to take place.

Our hands touched ever so slightly as I grabbed my missing pencil. I withdrew immediately and he did the same faintly after. After a few long seconds, he broke the silence.

"Jaden gave it to me at the locker rooms after practice. He said he tried to give it to you after class but couldn't catch up or something so I guess he just wanted me to carry out the deed especially with some paper he mentioned."

I grinned and slightly nodded in understanding, quickly glancing at his eyes before staring at the Apple Pencil. It's strange. He can't really look me in the eye. I mean, I can't either but he's 6'2" so my excuse is good. On top of that, the nonchalance in his tone doesn't sit right with me. It's either he's forcing it or a part of me wants to believe he is just to delude myself that he still cares. It's unfair of me, especially since I probably broke his heart, but it's the real.

"I'll thank Jaden when I see him next class. Thank you for bringing it to me." I quip and walk past him to my door, beginning to find my keys in my bag with the pencil still in hand.

Damn when did I get this shy?

Onys attempt at being nonchalant somewhat was breaking. He stared at the pencil smiling as he spoke and pointed.

"I'm surprised you still have Chowder on there".

I turned my head around, mid-hand in bag. He was referring to the little sticker I had on my ex-missing item. The one that would help me differentiate my pencil from everyone else's so no one would take it. The one he gave me as a funny gift for the love of our mutual favorite childhood show.

I'm surprised he still remembers these little details about me. About us.

"Well it's still my favorite show. I don't think that's ever going to change." I giggle looking back for my keys.

It's hard to do this. To face him. How do people talk to their exes? This isn't even my first but damn. Now my minds all over the place with him and us all over it. All those memories we share. Good and bad.

I stop fiddling in my bag and spoke under my breath with the same thought, caught up in the idea.  "I'm surprised you still remember." I mumbled to myself.

I can feel his presence and his eyes on me, not exactly sure what his actions are. But his voice speaks up with a small sense of fervor in his tone. Something undeniably him. The tone I always craved since it left me.

"Y/n, you can't tell me you don't call to mind how Ive remembered every single thing I've been blessed to learn about you"

I still my hands from roaming once again after I found my keys. At this point, I don't know what's going on. But as I motion my mouth to find what to say a grand lightning bolt flashed down from the sky, hitting somewhere nearby. Thunder that sounded like an earthquake erupted, immediately pouring heavy rain down with it. With that, we instantaneously saw lampposts shut off. All electricity in the area immediately being gone in an instant.

"Ain't no way" I groaned. I can't believe this. I look around at all of the dark areas surrounding the complex except for the emergency lights powered from the generator. Putting my keys in the door, I heavily sigh opening up my residence.

Slowly walking in to the dim natural light from the blinds I turn around to Onyankopon, standing still at the doorstep, and tell him he can come in.

"Are you sure? My car is all good and everything I can still drive."

"In this storm?" I ask raising my eyebrow. I rolled my eyes, "You not gon get nowhere the way this storm going right now. It's fine. Plus, your place is probably out of electricity too."

He nods, "Well thanks, I really appreciate it" He awkwardly steps into the 3 bedroom apartment. My girls usually have class during this time last I checked so we're the only ones here.

I grab some candles to light across my home hoping for some sort of spark to brighten up the place.

Once I withdrew a breath and looked around, the rooms seemed to be lit up enough comfortably outside of the insanely romantic essence it gave off. I stood up from where I was crouched by the living room table where I made eye contact with him sitting up on the couch.

"Soooo could I get you anything?" I awkwardly stand there and he's just sitting... menacingly.

Ugh who am I kidding he looks so geeked out right now.

"It's honestly fine. Once the storm passes I'll be right out forreal you don't have to go through any trouble." He laughs.

With that in mind I obliged and went to my room setting up my laptop and iPad with my now found Apple Pencil. Since the electricity's gone that means I shouldn't have any distractions on focusing on my work.

"Right y/n, focus on the goal. It don't matter that your ex is in the other room. Get on your zoom!" Mumbling to myself  as I type in my username to blackboard to view the rubric.

"What the-"

Shit. Of course blackboard and the wifi is down too if all the electricity is out.

As I groan and leave my room to get a glass of water, I'm getting Ony one too. Seeing him roaming on his phone and placing the glass in front of him on the table I sit on the sofa opposite of him.

He looks up from his phone, "You did not have to do this", he began to grin to himself as he lifted the cup and started to drink.

As I began to speak we both got a notification.

ALL UNIVERSITY STUDENTS: ELECTRICITY IS DOWN ON CAMPUS AND ON AND OFF CAMPUS HOUSING DUE TO A SEVERE WEATHER STORM. MORE UPDATES WILL COME SOON. CURRENTLY, AN ESTIMATION OF 3 HOURS WILL BE NEEDED TO REPAIR DAMAGES TO ELECTRICAL UNITS.

"Fuck" I groaned.

"You're not gonna be able to finish that paper huh?" He questioned.

"No and it's due Sunday. I was hoping to knock it out today before the weekend really starts. I don't need to procrastinate anymore than I already have."

"Oh trust me I remember." He laughed. "I can help yknow. There's nothing else we can do here."

"On what though? Blackboard is down."

"Not google docs or notes app though." He smiled, "As long as you know what you're supposed to write about you're set."

"But I like looking at the rubric when I write to make sure my grades solidified"

"I'm hearing a lot of excuses misses honors student. If you wanted to do it you would at this point. Plus, my specialty is writing papers so I can definitely help"

I remember oh so well. This reminds me of when I procrastinated on a paper last semester the weekend before it was due just like this one and we stayed up till 3 AM writing it. So many laughs and double shot espressos from that time. His specialty really is writing essays and all sorts of papers. That assignment was 5000 words and we started the Saturday and still got an A.

"Shit, why not. It's only 500 words anyway" I joke.

He smiled and we got to work. The first hour went by like nothing. It felt like old times. 200 words were typed but the only thing holding us back was that I actually need to have proper cited sources. Professor Rodriguez do not play around either so it's been a painstaking amount of time trying to find anything with no internet and a on and off personal hotspot.

As Ony and I sit next to each other working on the paper, he lifts up his glass and it accidentally slipped out of his hands onto the table.

"Ah damn I'm so sorry. Let me-"

"No it's cool." I put down my laptop and got up to get a paper towel. When I sat back down and handed the paper towel to him our hands touched again. That once jovial, funny and somewhat relaxed mood we had was now gone. We're exes. This isn't what exes do. We're not friends.

But shit we were . That was exactly what we were like before we started anything or knew there was something there. Even during our relationship we felt just like this at times too. Where the hell did we go? Why did I let us go?

The awkward touch we had became more intimate as I decided to gently grab his hand. The eye contact he made was confused but willing. It spoke "why haven't you done this all this time while I'm right here?" Or at least that's what I think.

Our hands interlocked letting go of the paper towel at this point. Eye contact on something serious as we ask questions to each other with them. As I began to lean down on the couch, Ony couldn't stop staring between my eyes and my lips. He eventually and quickly took the dive, trying not to lose the moment. Embers burned and flowed through the air as he began to shift from my power to his. He embarked on leaning my back onto the couch rather than his. Hands splayed in my locs and taking small breaks to breathe before going back in.

Small moans escape my mouth as he's working me. Kisses pressed on my lips were coming down my chin... then my neck as he suckled on my skin. His hands roamed my body slowly. One on the side of my stomach nearing my ass and the other beginning to feel my breast under my shirt. At this point, he's starting to get more vocal, groaning and whispering sweet nothings along my body.

"You know how much I've missed you y/n. How much I've missed this pretty face... this pretty body... and this pretty pussy" he hissed one kiss after another. "Is this all ok? If you're not fine with this of course I'll stop. Tell me what you want."

His asking for consent was always so sexy and those words... damn I missed him and this.

I looked at his lust blown eyes as he looked up to mine from my stomach as he briefly stopped from going lower and lower.

"I want you Q. I'm all yours." My composure is definitely done at this point. He's got me right now.

"Don't worry. You know I will always take care of you." He slurred, slowly sliding my bottoms and panties down and kissing my inner thighs before locking them in his arms. It's been a while since I've been in this position and I've missed it since forever ago.

Slow pecks from my thighs came closer and closer to the apex of them. He must could tell how nervous I was since his thumbs gently rubbed where they laid at to comfort me. Im in love with the way they feel on me.

"So as you can see I do have some hair ri-"

He side eyed me. "Y/n I'm a grown ass man. You know I like my peaches with some fuzz on it. Now can I have my dinner please?"

He can get so forward like this it's making me shy. I rolled my eyes and laid my head back. I never thought I'd be in this predicament.

"Good girl. Just stay just like that baby."

He nestled his lips on my bundle, wrapping them on to gently suck at a slow and smooth pace. His rhythm was gradually fastening and shortly, his lips unattached from my clit to lap at the bundle once more flicking his tongue. He remembers. He always remembers what I like.

Beginning to close my legs from the sensation, he parts me once again lapping at my cunny fervently. Like some undying need that he can't let go. As a "punishment" for me not taking it, he inserts a finger and then a second to make me break even more than I already am.

I plead and moan, "Ony, baby, I'm leaking"

I can barely control my body now. My breath getting fainter as I breathe heavy.

"Good. You know that's what I want." He keeps pumping. Squelching ensues as he becomes infatuated with his doing. "Look at that shit. All for me huh" He asks looking at my fucked out face.

I disappointedly moan when his fingers leave me but he swipes my essence from its trail and sucks his fingers while maintaining eye contact with me. I whimper and squeeze at the sight.

I guess he wanted to finish the job though. I tried to reach over to slip my hand in his boxers just for him to grab my wrist and pin both of my hands down to finish what he started.

It's always like a switch in him when he's like this. So different from the sweet Onyankopon from everyday that everyone knows. So nasty. I love it. I miss it.

He mischievously watches me. "You feel this?" I moan as he pumps his fingers back in me. I roll my eyes to the back of my head and he chuckles. "I'm gonna take that as a yes. Let me make you cum, princess."

He lowered his head down again as he continued pumping into me. Licking a stripe up my honey and continuing the mess he was creating previously. Languid strokes of his tongue were hitting me just right and my moans started turning to desperate whimpers.

Building me up for a while, he then dipped his muscle into my pussy and interchanging with his fingers, curling them with each stroke. His other hand left my thigh and his thumb began rubbing my clit. Faster and faster he went I started to find my stomach tensing and the air becoming hard to breathe.

In between heavy pants I slip out "O, stop, I'm gonna make a mess!" my eyes rolling to the back of my head and legs lifting and coming together.

He didnt stop and pinned me down pressing on my lower stomach. My moans became octaves higher and higher. He lifted his head from my cunny, "you gon take it and make a mess all over my face. Don't hold back nothing."

With that, he continued his ministrations. My grip on his hair became as tight as it could as I could feel my voice go weak. My legs began to shake as clear liquid lightly sprayed out onto his face and a white ring began to form on his fingers. My pants were beginning to rapidly slow down as I came down from my high, un loosening the death grip I had on his head.

He came back up kissing my cheek then licking my essence off his face and fingers, "Always taste so good." Proceeding to take a rag from my bedroom to clean me up and carrying me to my bed.

Before we even got the chance to speak about what happened, my eyes fell. A nap took over both of us and hours that felt like minutes rolled by.

His arm around me as we slept on our sides felt  like old times. Like something right that I just ripped away from my body. It's so comfortable.

After a dream I couldn't remember, I wake up in a daze, looking behind me to see him knocked out and his arm still around my waist.

Gently moving it off of me, I slowly get up and walk to the bathroom.

"Shit I might as well take a shower"

To be honest, none of this has settled in my head yet. My ex boyfriend who I'm clearly not over in my bedroom after being nasty on the couch is sleeping on my bed... crazy. Real fanfiction kind of shit.

Pushing the light switch up, I notice the bulb illuminate the room. Thank the Lord almighty. I put on my shower cap and get in. I feel myself let go of a breath I didn't know I had when the hot water hits my skin.

This is insane. I shouldn't be hooking up with my ex. I cut it off for a reason... I think. It's gotta be this way for the both of us so nobody gets hurt.

"Bitchhhh" I think to myself in the shower holding my head.

Leaving the bathroom with my towel on, I see my ex looking over at me from his phone, arm now holding his head up to stare me up  and down in awe.

"It's been a while since I seen this view"

I cut my eyes and stand in front of him on my bed. "Look we need to talk- " and my head turned immediately when I heard the front door of the apartment open. Thankfully, my room doors closed, but my girls walked in the apartment gossiping when they called out my name to have our daily debrief of the day.

I cuss at myself and know they probably see the cups of water, candles, and his shoes at the door as they fell silent. Whispering to themselves with words I couldn't make out,  I eventually hear a knock at my door.

I looked at Ony, mortified with a finger to my lips, then took a deep breath, opening the door so they can only see me still in my bath robe.

"Heyyy" I greeted with the awkwardest get out and don't make this weird smile I know.

"Hey mookie, we just wanted to check on you and see if you're good with the electricity going off and everything earlier." One of them said, clearly peeking inside my bedroom to see who's here, eyes widening that it was him before he could move himself. She gave me a look and I gave her one back like we telepathic or something.

"Girl yknow I'm good, just trying to finish this paper" I say hoping she takes the message that I know she's getting from me right now.

"Yeah I'm sure it's realll hard" She said acting like a real smart ass.

With a few more exchanges they go to their rooms to settle down for the night. After hearing both of their doors close I rush back to my room.

"Yeah, you gotta go" picking up his clothes and pushing them to his chest.

"But-"

"Look, I wish there was a better time to talk, but you have to go. This... is strange. We broke up. There's a reason why this ended. I know it was probably stupid of me to let you stay here during the storm, but this wasnt my intention." Pointing at the both of us.

I picked his arm up before he could get a word out to reason with me, clothes just tussled onto his body. If he sweet talks me again I really might not double back this time.

We get to the door and with the least amount of strength he has, he turns his body towards me and gently grabs my hand before I could open the door placing it back by my side.

"Y/n...why are you letting go of us... again? This still doesn't make sense and you know that."

I still. I remember this feeling... this sense of regret. But just like last time, I can't tell if it's the wrong choice or because I don't want to let go.

In truth, Ony feels... familiar. He'll always feel like a memory and I don't want to get too comfortable in his light of nostalgia. He brought such a level of solace in my life that I never wanted to replace. It was even more so after we became official....I don't want to become stagnant because of it. I have my own dreams, my own endeavors, and my own goals that I want to reach. It would be so easy to be a trophy wife to him... and he'd gladly let me. As a woman, I don't want that to be the tell all be all of my life when I know that I had a life before him. I didn't know if I could escape from it then and I definitely don't know now. That's the real reason why I keep shutting him out and probably why we broke up... but he can't know that.

"Because I know we won't end well. We're two different people Ony and this idea that you can just up and think everything is picture perfect for us has to stop now"

He looks in my eyes with such disappointment, then slight anger as his eyebrows pushed together. He opened his mouth to speak again but thought about it and decided not to, closing his eyes in the process. With a heavy huff from his chest, he looked at my eyes one last time for the night before turning away and leaving the complex.

When I shut the door, My girls came out immediately like paparazzi.

"You were over him huh?" One of them snarled at me. "It don't seem that way to me love. Maybe you shouldn't even go to the party tomorrow."

I looked down at the ground and they both took notice of my state. We all went to my bedroom and I explained everything that happened tonight. Their eyes looked at mine with frustration and awe. I held my head knowing their reaction just like they've been telling me for the past 3 months.

"You are not over that boy y/n"

"I think you're confused"

And they're right. I am. But I tell them the same thing I told them every time.

"But when he makes it to the league, what am I going to do? Wag my tail like a dog after him and have niggas tell me that I want his money or that I don't have half his talent for anything like them bitches was saying when we were together? And what if he cheats? He gon have hella girls at his disposable and I'll be feeling stupid like  "I really wasted my time on this nigga". Y'all know how much I love Ony and I was just getting over him too. This is for the best for me right now y'all know that"

They gave each other a look and got up to hug me.

"Whatever decision you choose to make girl you know we got you. Just remember to listen to your heart sometimes"

With that, we said our little goodbyes and retired for the night. Ony on my mind, I went to bed.

Waking up, he is still on my mind. Getting my laptop, I tried to continue the paper but had no will power to do so. The whole morning and afternoon felt like that... no volition and all a blur. Wasting away in my bed after the three different times my girls checked up on me throughout the day I just can't escape him. It doesn't help having the daydream engrained of what could've been present with our past. In that same thought, I hear a buzz on my phone, too in tune with the delusional reaction thinking it could be him.

I look at it to see the ticket for the party tonight that one of my girls sent. I groan and get up, finally deciding to start my day and also prepare myself for tonight.

Hype hoochie music is playing on my speaker and I hear Looking For the Hoes again. I'm thinking of how good everything was before all that happened yesterday. Do I even regret it? Am I blocking my blessings?

I can't let a man distract me from my life though. There's a life before and after him and I have to remind myself of that.

Finally finished with my look and it finally being an hour after the party started, me and my girls head out for the wild night we been planning for months.

What I didn't know was that the line would feel like 3 miles long and realizing we need our ID when we're finally 5 feet before the security. Why are parties this complicated? I don't know. But luckily we all at least have pictures of our ID and got in.

When we step foot into the party, the first thing we see is purple lights illuminating the entire venue. People are scattered everywhere and in every other corner we see the Ques barking and hopping to their stroll.

"Lawd have mercy" one of my homegirls say in love with the ques. Me and the other laugh and roll our eyes.

After some time just standing, we decided to find a small table and sit down with our small get ups. Our drinks from the pregame were starting to kick in after 10 minutes and we were laughing our ass off drunk when we hear "Girl the way you move it got me in a trance-", and that was it. All of us pulled each other to the dance floor and start to turn up. I'm throwing ass on my home girl and catching from the other.

I needed this. Seriously. I forgot how fun it is to be outside in the streets. Seconds later, we hear a scream and laugh from a girl and gasp from the crowd. One of the Ques picked up a girl and started acting like he was eating her out.

We all looked at each other with our jaws dropped. Ain't no wayyyyy. They were not lying bout it getting wild.

Right behind where I see the spotlight shining, about 30 feet away, I saw a face I didn't think I'd see at all. Just as his eyes set in on the scene before him he also saw my eyes and we made eye contact for a brief second.

I turned my body so fast that I almost knocked my home girl over. In the middle of her fussing me out she asked what happened. Naturally, I told her that Ony is at the party.

"Why is a nigga at a Que party is the real question though?"

"Girl unimportant can we please move somewhere else"

We all move to a separate section of the party venue. This can not happen. I'm drunk and I been dancing? I can not see or be around that man right now.

Before I could even get the nightmare out my head, I hear a "Y/n" near my head. I turn around mouth slightly agape to see him once again. Even finer in his put together party get up than his athlete clothes from yesterday. My mind all caught up in him just like last time I'm in a blur of what he's actually saying to me.

"Y/n, why are you here right now?" He whispers yells in my ear from the loud music blasting from the speakers.

I look to my left and right and my homegirls dashed off like the road runner... traitors.

Looking at him once again, eyes low from the drink in my system I ask, "Ony, why would it matter to you? I'm not your girl and you not my man. We single. The real question is why you're at a Que party." Remembering what my homegirl had said to bite back at him.

He fixes his face, his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek looking at me clearly frustrated. Just looking at his face he can't leave me alone. Sorry that's just drunk me talking I don't know whats on his mind.

"Y/n, why the hell you been drinking so much? Don't you got a paper to finish?"

"Ony you are not my daddy get up out my face!" I yell at him. "I'm out here having fun with my girls trying to get over YOUR ASS so why can't you just mind yo business!" Oops. My eyes widened, that last part wasn't supposed to come out. Fuck.

Shit, how did he react to that?

Without time for me to look up and see his face or even hear him utter a word, he has my hand in his and leading me somewhere and fast. I'm trying to keep up but it's kind of hard to have good foot and direction coordination in a party like this and off my ass.

With all of the movement feeling like a blur, I found both of us outside of the party venue from some back door. It's slightly raining by the building and the night sky showed a bright orange street light that was our only light source.

He takes off his jacket and puts it over my shoulders to warm me. It's a bit cold. What a gentleman.

"Y/n ... what did you say?"

He stares directly in my eyes with a sense of fervency and hope. One that I can't deny now.

Part 2?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Authors Note: Hi y'all! I haven’t written fanfic in soooo long but never stopped reading lmao. I loveeee this one so much. It’s Literally the best fic ive done period thus far. I’m trying to think if I should start writing again fr esp for my fictional anime men.

[midsummer-semantics]

if the world was ending

Okay, I told myself I wasn't going to write anything for @steddieangstyaugust but apparently I lied (I'm sorry)

Here's for day 1: Second Chance

CW: Slight agoraphobia

[not posted to AO3 but you can find other things there.]

When the earthquake hits, he’d like to say he thinks about his parents first. That he wonders where they are and if they're safe or if they’d hear about it from wherever they are in the world. If they’d call to check on him, even though they never did before.

He'd like to say he thinks about Robin, who's two states away studying for a graduate degree in International relations and communication, and likely doesn't feel the ground moving beneath her feet like he does.

Hell, he'd like to say he thinks about the kids, but most of them are scattered themselves, starting college programs (Will, Mike, Dustin) or sports training camps (Lucas) or exploring the West Coast (Max and El).

No, Steve is alone in his big, empty house when it hits, and the only thing on his mind is that they were wrong. Indiana doesn't get earthquakes, so something else has to be afoot. Six years since they defeated Vecna, since everyone tried to move on with their lives while Steve stayed because that's what he does, he stays.

A touchstone Dustin had called him once. Something to do with foundation and a connecting center. Steve still thinks it might have just been him and the rest of the group trying to make him feel better about still being stuck in the same house, in the same town, doing nothing and going nowhere.

He's alone and he thinks 'This is it. What I've been waiting for.'

He has a 6-year-old emergency pack stored that should have more dust on it if it wasn't for the way he chronically checks it. His trusty bat and a duplicate he made just in case, plus the ax he used the last time, are all near enough to the door. He's not sure what the protocol is for earthquakes, having grown up in the Midwest, but he's pretty sure he's not supposed to be indoors, right?

It doesn't last very long, but it doesn't matter. A few seconds of the ground shaking and rolling beneath his feet are enough to jumpstart him into action.

He's gathering supplies, cursing himself for taking too long, when the phone in the kitchen rings.

He should ignore it, knows that whatever or whoever it is can wait until he's secured the area and alerted the cavalry that something is happening. It'll take days for people to get here and Steve thinks he might he able to hold off whatever's coming out of whatever rift has sprung up until then, but he doesn't have time to think about it too hard.

The phone rings off the hook as Steve takes too damn long to double-check that nothing is in the house before he even attempts to go outside, and Steve knows he can't just leave it. Not in case it's someone who's still in town who knows he's here: Mrs. Wheeler, Claudia, Jim or Joyce.

He nearly rips the cord out of the wall when he answers.

"Stevie?!" comes the frantic voice of the person he least expects to be on the other side.

"Eddie?"

"Steve, oh my god." He can hear Eddie panting. "Are you okay?"

It's the first time Steve's heard Eddie's voice in five years. Since Eddie made good on his promise to run like hell out of here, something he'd repeated to anyone who would listen until he finally did. Five years since Steve had realized he was halfway in love with him after saving the world and never got to say anything because he was a coward and Eddie was leaving anyway so what was the point?

He'd gotten one phone call when Eddie arrived in Denver and it's been radio silence since then. Truthfully, he couldn't blame the guy, but Steve had had... thoughts... feelings... probably brought on by end-of-the-world shit but nonetheless. And then Eddie just—

Vanished.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Are you?" he asks.

"We're good," Eddie replies, and only then does he hear the rough grumble of Eddie's uncle in the background, asking why Eddie's on the phone at nearly 3 in the morning.

"Earthquake, old man," Eddie shouts, still too close to the receiver for Steve's already damaged hearing.

Oh.

So, Eddie's in town. Cool. Steve had no idea. Doesn't know when Eddie got in or if he ever intended to tell Steve he was here at all. That's fine.

"Sorry, Stevie. Woke Wayne up. Shit— did I wake you up too?"

Steve swallows harshly, shaking his head even though Eddie can't see it. "No, I was already awake."

"Me too," Eddie replies. "Jet lag. Just got in a few hours ago. What a welcome home, huh?"

"Sure," Steve says, wondering what the point of this call is. "Look, I'm glad to hear from you, but I really need to—"

"Wait!" Steve shuts his mouth, his teeth clacking harshly. "It's fine. Everything is fine."

"Dude, there was an earthquake just now—"

"And it wasn't You-Know-What related," Eddie states, a bit of his franticness back in his voice. "They're leveling part of the plant for safety issues. Wanted to do it at night so no one would freak out." Steve cringes. Hawkins wasn't exactly magnanimous about the rebuilding efforts last time, but he doesn't go to city council meetings to hear about what the efforts might have been since then. "That's part of why I'm home. Wayne's got an extended leave until they sort out what else to do."

Steve sighs, dropping the emergency pack on the floor and leaning the ax he'd managed to grab against the wall. "Oh. Great. Wish they'd have told everyone else just in case."

"I know, sweetheart. But everything is okay."

Sweetheart.

Steve's actual heart skips a beat hearing that again.

"I'll be back, sweetheart. I promise."

"So... you're here then? In Hawkins?"

There's a beat of silence, some shuffling on the other end. "Well, yeah. I told you I'd come back."

"For your uncle."

"He's part of it."

Steve hesitates, hating himself for even considering getting his hopes up.

"And the other part?"

"My guy is here."

When the earthquake hit, he’d like to say he thought about his parents first.

No, he'd thought it was the end of the world. And above that, all he could think about was Eddie.

[warping-realities]

Life Adjustment (Repost)

“Did you want to see me, Jack?” said Stu, throwing himself onto one of the armchairs in his brother's enormous office.

Jackson, Stu's brother and the current president of the construction company founded by their father, looked at his younger brother with piercing eyes.

"I'm glad you could make it to our meeting, Stuart, considering you've been busy doing nothing every day for the past few years." Was the response given by the obviously less than happy older brother, as he looked in disgust at his younger brother's paint-stained clothes that had just ruined an expensive armchair.

"Come on, Jack, that's not fair; you know everything I've been through!"

"Everything you've been through? Please, Stuart, being dumped by your college girlfriend is not an excuse to let yourself go and become a bum still living in your parents' old basement. You're 25 years old and haven't done anything useful with your life."

"I wasn't dumped, Jack. She died, you idiot!"

"Yes, very sad, but it's been almost five years, five years during which I've supported your filthy habits, your gym routine, your entire lazy life as a talentless artist. That's enough!"

"I have a stake in this company..."

"Then take responsibility!"

"... and you don't understand, Jen was the love of my life," Stu concluded as if he hadn't been so rudely interrupted.

"Jen? Who's Jen, Stuart?" Jackson asked with a slight smile.

"Who's Jen? You must be kidding, Jack!"

"You know I don't tolerate childish habits, especially in my workplace, Stuart. So I ask again, who is Jen? I've never heard you mention any Jen, brother."

"Jen, Jeniffer, my girlfriend who… wait, no, I don’t know… who is Jen?"

"Precisely," Jackson replied, his sly smile widening but never reaching his cold eyes. He watched an impossible transformation unfold before him. In the blink of an eye, with a flash, instead of the brother he knew and had come to deeply detest over the years, there was a better-groomed version, with a smoother beard and shorter hair, with more defined muscles in workout clothes. Still, far from what Jackson considered ideal.

"So, Jack, why did you call me here? I have a client scheduled at the gym, so I don't have much time."

"A client... at the gym?"

"Yeah, what else would a personal trainer be doing?"

Absorbing this information, Jackson decided to make one more correction.

"I don't understand, why waste a college degree working as a personal trainer, Stuart?"

"Maybe because I studied sports science, Jack."

"But your major was in business, Stuart."

"Business, no way... or... maybe..."

Another flash and another Stuart stood before Jackson. Much better, he thought, seeing the figure before him, dressed more appropriately, with a toned physique belonging to someone who clearly took care of himself but didn't scream "gym rat." Still, there was certainly room for improvement, but he decided to let this new version of his brother speak.

"I imagine you want to talk about the status of the new building downtown; I can assure you I'm in direct contact with the team, and everything is going according to plan, Jack."

"Team? What team, Stuart?"

"Our construction workers, of course."

"And why would you be in direct contact with them, Stuart?"

"Oh, maybe because that's my role in the company? Overseeing the progress of the projects, making sure everything's right, walking among the guys and knowing if they're satisfied with their work."

"Maybe that was the case a few years ago, before you went to college, when our dad wanted to test your abilities. But since you graduated and returned to the company, you begged me to take a position in the office because you couldn't stand being around lower-class people."

"What? No, I would never be that snobby, no, or... did I... ask? No... ask?"

Another flash, another Stuart. Almost there, Jackson thought as he saw this version of his brother. He was wearing a sports coat and khakis, but that relaxed attitude needed a few more adjustments...

"So, tonight I'm having another business dinner with some clients; I'm thinking about hitting up a club with a few of them; you should come along for an hour, bro."

"Actually, I called you here precisely because I wanted to discuss your outings, Stuart. I understand social connections are important, but we have employees for that, plus it's a waste of your MBA. So I'm moving you to the head of financial control, right below me."

"MBA? Jack... no, I... financial department? I don't want that... or do I?"

"Of course you do; you accepted the position last year."

"Last year?"

A new flash and a new version of Stuart. This time, Stuart was wearing a proper suit, although still regrettably without a tie, and despite the neatly combed hair, there was still that beard. This kind of carefree attitude was not ideal.

"The acquisition of the land in Arlington was a success, Jack, so much so that I organized a dinner with the responsible team, along with the bonuses they'll be getting."

"If they're already getting a bonus, why organize a dinner, Stuart? Besides, you've never been one for such frivolities; your life has always been extremely rigid and regimented. Taking care of your body to present a powerful and assertive image, dressing appropriately and behaving with dignity at work, keeping the right distance from the employees; after all, you are the boss. And I don't think I've ever seen you smile at them, let alone go to dinners with them. It's not in your nature; you know how to be sociable when you want to, of course, but only when there's a benefit for the company; after all, profits and the company's image are your biggest concerns," Jackson concluded, thinking that finally this time the result would be as expected.

"I... don't... smile... of course I smile... no... image... profits... yes... knowing how to behave..."

A new flash, and finally, the perfect version of Stuart was before him, Jackson thought. Still sitting rigidly in the armchair with a clean-shaven face and the hint of a sly smile, with the same cold eyes as his brother, impeccably dressed in a dark suit with a tie that made him look like a younger version of Jackson.

"Staff cuts have been made, Jackson; there were some tears from others about the increased workload, but I told them they'd manage or be replaced by someone who would."

"Excellent, Stuart, and how do you feel about that?"

"Sorry, Jackson, but I don't understand your question."

"Don't you feel bad about firing all those employees?"

"Why should I feel bad about that? My role is to think of what's best for this company, and that's what I did."

"So cold, brother. I have to be careful; otherwise, you'll end up taking my place."

"If you lower your standards, brother, I won't think twice."

Thinking quickly that he might have overdone it, Jackson intervened once more.

"I would believe that if I didn't know that since we were kids, I've been your biggest example, and above all, you are loyal to me, Stuart."

This time there was no visible flash, but a clear change in Stuart's eyes, which now showed a glimmer of admiration toward his older brother.

"Sure, brother, if I'm who I am today, it's thanks to you!" Stuart replied, standing up and speaking in a tone of voice that, though cold and distant, still displayed immense reverence for the figure before him.

Jackson couldn't help but display the closest thing he could muster to a smile that his nonexistent emotional skill would allow while responding to what, in his opinion, was a much-improved version of his brother.

"Indeed, brother, and I'm glad you recognize that."

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I discovered my best friend is following ARO on Instagram. When I confronted her over this horrific betrayal, she said, “I think I like her now!” My devastation knows no bounds.

I was discussing this with my boss, a fellow royal watcher, and we decided I need to make a PowerPoint presentation, complete with citations (we are lawyers, after all), “shining a light” on MM’s numerous atrocities and proven lies over the years. I thought you would be invaluable in such a venture. Any suggestions to include would be very much appreciated!

Old ask from March 18th

Ok, so I didn't mean to sit on this one for (checks calendar) 6 MONTHS. ohhh, that's worse than I thought. Sorry, anon. Your ask got completely buried.

Anyway. I actually have been keeping a list of Meghan's lies and falsities. I don't remember when I compiled it (I feel like it might've been a 2022 thing) and I forgot I had it for a very long time. We'll probably need to crowd-source some updates to this list.

So buckle up, y'all.

Grew up an only child

Never had relationships with Sam or Tom

Grew up poor eating Sizzler buffets for splurge dinners

Didn't know who Diana was

Didn't know that Diana did Panorama interview

Lied about having a SAG card to be cast in Suits

That she was being written off Suits because she was marrying Harry

Doesn't have any family except Doria

Paid for college herself with student loans

International relations and theatre degrees from Northwestern

Merch tour of Aussie with Jess

Didn't want to serve Archie on a silver platter

Couldn't do a photo call at the hospital after Archie's birth

Wasn't in contact with Oprah

Wasn't working with UK Vogue

Lilac blazers

Couldn't wear the same color as anyone else

Could only wear neutral clothes

Wasn't dressing her child like a Victorian ghost doll

Going to get her UK citizenship

Gave up her Hollywood team

Spectacle wedding for the public

Eloped three days before with the Archbishop of Canterbury

Loves her engagement ring

Received permission from Queen to name her Lilibet

Loves Africa

Loves charity work and philanthropy

Red carpet for wedding

No tabloids in the US

All Americans have a 5am work ethic

Paparazzi chases

Plagiarism

Korean spas as a kid

Collaboration with Scobie on FF

People letter

Archewell donations and income

Family she never had

Gave up everything

IVF twins

Pregnancy announcement not at Eugenie's wedding

Loves kids

Dog too old to fly

Dog hit by car

Couldn't decorate with royal collection

Kate made Meghan cry

Warm friendly relationship with Queen

Best boss ever

She made her own banana bread

Suicidal thoughts night of Cirque du Soleil

Advised by Obamas

Children refused titles because of racism

She refuses children's titles

Pen pals with Hillary Clinton

Witnessed the LA riots

Independent grassroots journalism

Hit the ground running

5'5

worked at the embassy when she only attended a study program

Didn't know she had to curtsy to the Queen

Didn't know how to curtsy

BRF took her passport, car keys

Not allowed to go out unless just for work

Climate change/private jets

Evicted from Frogmore

Royal Family refused to help Meghan with her mental health

That Meghan was silenced

Privacy in LA

Archie was denied 24/7 protection because he wasn't a prince

Family gossip about Archie's skin color

Palace forced Meghan to take her name off Archie's birth certificate

Egg in wedding food

Not allowed to have scents in church

Meghan said the palace was locking up the birth certificate

Angela refused hair trials

Bond girl

Fire in Archie's nursery

Linked, not ranked

Archie too young to fly (summer after his birth)

Lied about her age (to work in Hollywood, narrative since corrected since marrying in)

Belly padding

Bot farms on social media

Miscarriage

Zoom calls with Cambridges during lockdown

Zoom calls with the Queen during lockdown

Flowers on Philip's casket at funeral were from Sussexes

Sussexes were invited to the Beckham wedding

Royal christening for Lili

Lili baptized

Invited to the diplomatic reception before The Queen's funeral

BFF/dog-walking buddies with Jennifer Aniston

Photoshops the children's appearances

Jimmy Fallon interview in Dec 2022

Time 100th Anniversary coverage

Bodyguard 2

she’d have 40 photographers taking pictures when she did Archie’s school run.

Sussexes declined invitation to Westminster wedding

She made the strawberry jam herself

50 jars of jam

"The Bench" was a bestseller

Visiting/staying with Oprah (Oprah was across the country at her father's bedside)

All the times she said she'd be a secret presenter at Hollywood award shows

Uvalde

Can't tailor her clothes to fit because they're from small brands/labels.

[harrysmimi]

CEOrry Pt. 1

Synopsis: Harry finds an unexpected visitor at his bar

Series Masterlist | More of my work

YN was dragged out with her friends on a weekend. She was sulking around for what no one knew.

You see, like every other story YN's was starting to fill up with more and more trauma. It began with her wanting to move to away for studies, which did not happen with that much ease. Her mother wanted her to stay back home and work her old job. The trauma came with being scammed by people, learning hard way not to trust just about anyone who's being kind. But that was about it.

She's got everything, a nice loving family. Sure her parents don't have the best relationship but they're surviving. Her little brother is thriving in school like always. Until just a few months ago, her dad fell severely sick. Sole bread winner of her family.

All she earned went to providing herself a comfortable life, yet she sent the part of her bonus back home. To add more to that, she moved with few of her classmates as they were looking for a new roommate. That cut down bills by way far. She was able to help out her family the best she could.

She already worked two jobs.

College is a scam, she realised soon enough. It wasn't something one of her favourite YouTuber just said for fun and jokes in their videos. If she got a nice job with the degree which spent so much on already, it would have been worth it. Getting the tag of useless oldest child in her family was disheartening.

Now she has this guilt of being useless weighing on her shoulders. Well, that wouldn't be the only thing.

Her dad never let her take up any responsibilities. So it was new and difficult for her to step into his shoes.

Hopefully, until he's all recovered and healthy.

Of course, she'd still help him out!

"YN, what is wrong with you? Come on, come dance with us!" Julia, one of YN's friend's friend called for her over the over bearing music playing in this club.

All she saw was girls and boys dancing, girls and girls dancing, and boys and boy dancing, and a group of guys hovering over a girl in the corner. She seemed to be enjoying it, but apparently this place is supposed to be safe for the LGBTQIA+ people as well as girls. That particular group gave YN a weird ick for some reason.

Especially, when the girl started to seem feel a little uncomfortable. But to YN at ease those guys were thrown out of the bar immediately and the girl was safe. As YN was about to go pay her mind to something else, her best friend Kayla was pulling her towards the dance floor with a shot glass in her hand, her Fiancé following her with two glasses of shots.

One more thing to put YN on ease was, she doesn't have to pay for anything. That's what her friends said to her before they dragged her out, straight from her work.

"You need to stop sulking!" Kayla yelled so her friend could hear. "Come on, have this."

YN was handed a shot glass. Dressed in a pair of jeans and worn out hoodie she stole from her dad before she moved away, and her worn out and knock off brand Nikes shoes. She doesn't drink, but it all seemed so nice to divulge in.

"No, no, I can't." She shoved the drink back in her friend's hand.

"We have to let loose before we're swarmed by the finals." Josh, Kayla's Fiancé interfered.

Josh is an amazing guy. Like a brother to YN but, oh boy can he be a pain in the ass some times!

Being kinda manipulated by her friends and her intrusive thoughts, YN downed the drink in one go. Leaving her own self in utter surprise. Kayla and Josh looked at her concerned.

"Oh, that burns your throat!" Her yucky face made her friend burst out into laughter.

But there you go!

Another shot in, and YN was completely knocked off. Dancing with Kayla and Julia. The girls giving each other lap dances, as they drunkenly danced.

Josh was being the friend-parent as he was going to drive the girls back to their home.

"YN, what are you doing?" The group of four was disrupted by a man hovering over YN.

He stood about six feet tall, his eyes glaring into hers as he gripped on her wrist tightly. Fingertips digging into her skin along with the metal of his rings.

"Hey, hey back off!" Josh stepped in.

"Stay away!" The man warned Josh as she kept staring at YN.

She seemed completely defeated and weak. In surprise you can say? Maybe? Or she was scared? Maybe?

"What do you think you're doing?" He started dragging her to the side, to the stairs which led to the VIP section.

"Hey, where are you taking my friend?" Kayla fought with him, hitting his arms, but one glare from him as she was made quiet as well. Julia was holding onto YN for her dear life.

"Harry, please you're hurting me." YN muttered looking at the man stood infront of her.

Well, he wasn't holding onto her hand that harshly, her skin being very sensitive it was going to be red within matter of minutes. It was her survival instincts kicking in to use the puppy eyes-card. It worked as Harry loosened his grip on her wrist. He slipped the palm of his hand onto hers intertwining his fingers with hers.

It was a bit uncomfortable with his rings but the first time she held hand with him in a long time, YN realised.

"Come on, I'm taking you to your place now." He told to her.

"Oi, no she's not going anywhere with you." Julia warned Harry.

"Look, I know you're worried for your friend bit I know her, she knows me." Harry spoke calmly. "I will drop her back home, I promise."

YN's friends' are smart, even if they ask her, she's not in the right mind to give them a sensible answer. They wouldn't believe her if she said she knew this man, she's that drunk with just two shots one red wine later.

"YN do you know him?" Julia asked. At least one of the girl is not drunk her ass off, tipsy perhaps.

"Mhmm, I do know him." YN nodded. It's the truth.

YN have known Harry for little over six months now. They're great acquaintance, one of them would like to say.

"Now come on." Harry ushered her closely.

"No, I'm not letting her go!" Julia and Kayla clung onto her.

......................................................................

Back in Harry's SUV, YN sat with her friends. One was dozing off and one was glaring daggers at him through the rare view mirror as he was seated on the passenger side.

He had made an alliance that he'll take YN to her place and her friends can see she's safe and sound themself.

All three of her friends had followed her upstairs to her flat, until she was safe there. Well, her friends live there too, so they were off to bed as well.

"YN what the hell were you thinking tonight?" Harry shut the door to YN's bedroom. She stumbled towards her bed. "You said you never drink!"

"Until tonight." She pointed out, slurring on her words.

"You know you can't drink YN," he was being his calm self as he took off YN's shoes for her, "you know-"

"Stop it!" She snapped, "I know what I can and cannot do, okay? I don't want you telling me that as well. I'm trying my best!"

"I know you are, love." He cooed reaching for her carefully, "I know you are. I just want you to be careful."

"I know." She nodded. Her eyes getting teary all of a sudden.

You must be wondering, why and how YN knows Harry?

Well, she was to be a surrogate to his child, yeah...

Well, she still is, but she doesn't have a fetus in her womb.

YN was in one of those desparate panic situation when she had heard a few of the girls gossiping in her cafeteria she worked at about surrogacy. How some rich people pay the surrogate a amount for giving them a baby. How they can make hundreds and thousands even.

It usually just requires a surrogate to lend her womb, with a embryo made up from the egg and sperm from expecting parents is transferred to her uterus and she carries the baby to the full term.

Well, that seemed like more of an amazing option than taking up a third job and risk failing her classes she took out loans for. It would be over if nice months!

Well, not until it was Harry who approached her. He'd be a single parent which would mean the baby would be hers as well.

Now, she's one of the old school girls (according to many now-a-days). She wants her own kids!

At first, she refused to help him. No way, she was going to up and leave a child which would part hers biologically as well. Well, until her step-mother called saying her father needs a surgery, it is very crucial for his health.

There was no way they could pay for the surgery. And the hospital refused to go further with the procedure without the payment. That was one of the many bad and corrupt shit she hated about her country.

She had two options again, risk failing her PhD, or go give this man a child and never see it again.

In the moment all she could think about was her father. She had an amazing relationship with her dad.

She can have more kids, but she's got just one dad.

Saying, fuck all; she went head first into this. Especially when Harry was surprisingly ready to sign her a blank cheque if needed.

Harry being the millionaire he is, made her sign a contract that the child's sole custody would be his and she can not see the baby, or she's just have six months if she willingly decides she wants to breast feed the baby. It had many more conditions like those.

Everything moved very fast, there was an embryo transfer into her uterus. She was pregnant. The process was very exhausting for her.

But she had a miscarriage about six weeks ago.

YN had to promise herself not to get attached to the clump of cells growing inside her, but who can control their feelings? It hit her more than just being in physical agony.

There were chances where it would have happened but she wasn't clearly prepared for it. Whereas Harry was.

He seemed so nutral to her when she had seen him at the ER where he'd rushed her to. Or maybe it was the medications she was on which were making her feel drowsy that she couldn't read his face.

You see, Harry is like a closed book kinda man to her.

He doesn't like answering to her questions. All her answers were in the contract he made her sign he said. She wasn't to ask him any personal questions. He knew everything about her, whilst she didn't know shit.

"I didn't mean to loose the baby." She tried not to cry in front of him. "I really didn't."

"I know you didn't, YN." Harry was undoing her shoe laces as he slipped off her foot.

"I shouldn't have gotten attached to it like it was furst decided. I was hoping it would, it would..." She sighed, "you know... I should've kept my old job and stayed the fuck back home. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, look at me?" He looked up at her from where he was crouched in front of her, "I know, everything that happened wasn't on purpose, okay? This has much higher risk of failing. There's nothing you and I or the doctors can do to prevent from happening a hundred percent."

"I'll return you your money, I promise. And I'll do it again in a heartbeat." She sniffled, "I'll pay you back. With interest, I, I-"

"I'm not asking for it back, YN." He interrupted her as she slipped off her other shoe off her foot, "I need you to lie down now, okay? Lemme get you some water."

As Harry walked out, he found her friends stood in the hallway glaring at him, yet they all seemed confused. With his head down he made a quick walk to kitchen to get YN a bottle was water.

"Here drink this," he kept the bottle of water on her side table, "you have an appointment tomorrow at two, better fix that hangover by them."

"Oi, hello!" She scoffed, "watch your tone, huh! I'll rip that stupid tongue of yours out with tweezers and chop them into pieces and feed them to the stray dogs!"

Okay, that made Harry laugh...

"Yeah?" He chuckled. "You don't stray dogs in your neighborhood, darling. Now change up and go to bed, I'll have Jeremy come pick you up tomorrow."

"You are so fucking mean bruh!" She rolled her eyes, "have you ever talked to me nicely since we met? And I am supposed hand you over my baby!"

"Good night, YN." His voice was monotonous.

She just glared at him. More like a puppy face as he left her room shutting the door behind him. And she was already hating the way alcohol was making her feel.

......................................................................

"Are you dying? Why was he talking about hospital appointment?" Was Julia's first questions as they say YN down for an interrogation the next morning.

"What?" Josh stopped the girl, "who was that guy YN?"

"Why was he being bossy around you?" Kayla asked.

"Is he in the mafia, did you take a loan from him?" Julia seemed more intrigued by being concerned.

"Why was saying you're not supposed to drink?" Josh was being the parent of the group he is.

"Did you accidentally marry him? Or is Julia is right? Did you take a loan from him?"

The questions were coming from left, right, front and back which infuriated YN.

"Stop it!" She snapped, "no, I did not marry him, and yes I kinda did take a loan from him. And no, unfortunately I am not dying Julia! If I were, you'd be the first one invited to my funeral for celebration!"

"You don't celebrate on..." Julia was interrupted by Josh.

"Then who the fuck is this Harry guy?" He asked.

"Apparently he owns the bar we were at." Kayla shared.

"What the fuck!" YN almost spat out her black coffee she was drinking to cure her headache there. She couldn't sleep whole night as she felt like puking every time she lied down. She doesn't want to die choking on her own puke for god's sake! And here she was hit by the thought Harry might be richer than she thinks. That's the forth bar she had heard he own, plus a huge ass fashion label.

"Yeah!" Kayla deadpanned, "now who is he? YN you're scaring us!"

"He's just..." YN sighed, "I am to be a surrogate to his child. He's paying me for it."

"Hold the fuck up!" Julia almost screamed, "you're having a baby?"

"Julia, that's all you gather from this?" Josh sighed in defeat, "YN we want you to explain what the fuck in happening. You know you can share it with us."

"Yeah, we're your family here, darling." Kayla cooed as he reached for YN's hand carefully, knowing her mum can be a bitch sometimes and ninety-nine per cent of the times she was behind YN taking so much stress.

That was the last straw for YN. And the dam to her tears broke as she spilt her sob story in front of her friends.

"...My mother knows about this, and she blamed it on me saying I couldn't keep a baby alive inside of me, I wouldn't be able to take care of my dad!" She started sobbing at the end.

"YN, you could have asked us." Kayla suggested, "I certainly wouldn't have mind helping you out love."

"I can't, you've been saving up for your new place and your wedding. I just can't." YN shook her head.

"Why didn't you tell me then?" Julia butted in.

"Jay, I can't ask for financial help from you guys. I don't want to ruin our friendship." YN explained.

"It won't." Julia deadpanned.

"I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't share your problems with us." Josh said, "please, let us know and we'll see if we can figure it out together."

"Yeah, that's what friends are for!" Kayla agreed, of course.

"You're going to pregnant during Convocation!" Julia reminded her.

"Yeah." Josh surprisingly agreed with her on this.

"Our finals are in two months, and I'm still not pregnant. And convocation is a month later. I'll be fine." YN explained. "But I'll be pregnant on your wedding day, Kayla, I'm sorry."

"Hey, no!" Kayla scolded her, "you don't have to apologise to be. You're still going to be my bridesmaid like I asked you to. I don't care even if you're eight months pregnant, okay?"

"Okay!" YN nodded.

......................................................................

Harry on the other hand was getting ready to call it a day at work.

His office was a mess. It reminded him of his dorm rooms. He can keep his house clean but not his office. Checking his phone for time he found he's got an hour left till he has to be at the hospital with YN.

He started gathering his files and documents layed around, separating everything into two piles, of job done and pending pile so he can later give those back to his secretary.

He found a grey knock off branded Adidas jerkin. He couldn't help but chuckle.

It was YN's. It was left in his car on accident when he'd dropped her off back home from the day she had to be rushed to the hospital. Even in pain she was worried about her jacket there.

It was a very chaotic day.

"YN, tell me where you coat is for god's sake!" Harry was subtly panicking watching her roll on her rug in pain. He had checked the coat closet but he didn't find anything there. Even her roommates were not home.

"I don't-" she stopped, "motherfucker!" She was hammering the floor with her fist as she was curled up in a ball. "I can't, I can't, I can't!"

"Hey, YN!" He crouched next to her to give her a quick pep talk but he saw a grey jerkin hung on the bag hanger in her room, he grabbed it and her as well. "I'm taking you to the hospital okay? It's okay. It's okay." The last it's okay was for himself.

"No, don't take that one!" She protested seeing him drape her jerkin on her shoulders.

"YN you need to go to hospital now, you can worry about that later." He shushed her down.

Harry had carefully helped her in his car as he asked his driver to rush to the nearest hospital. Whilst YN wasn't screaming on top of her lungs, she was doing a good job at keeping herself as calm as possible. She had shrugged off the jerkin draped on her shoulders as she was sweating crazy, even with the car AC on blast.

She was mumbling something to herself. Some self assuring words maybe?

But Harry was sure what was happening. Whilst it did broke his heart as they were just mere two weeks away from being able to get the first ultrasound, he wouldn't lie his hopes were not high. And as much as he think he doesn't care, he's still a human and he knows that she doesn't have her full heart into this. He doesn't want to make her feel pressured. Plus he expected thing to go smoothly.

As expected, YN was taken care of. Lost the baby obviously. She seemed devastated when he found her laying there, crying and staring at the ceiling. IV needle suck on her hand as a beeping machine was hooked her pointer finger. She was dressed in a hospital gown there.

She slipped whilst deep cleaning her bedroom causing her to crash into the side table, straight on her stomach and then straight on her butt. That's all YN could remember, she said before she passed out. Apparently she hit her head as well and woke up with shooting pain in her abdomen. It was already eating YN alive. Only if she could have been more careful!

"Jeremy went and got you food." He said keeping the bag of food on the little table.

Lie, it was him who went to get the food whilst he sent Jeremy to run some errands for him. He's got a heart afterall!

"I'm not hungry." Her voice sounded watery.

"You can eat whenever you wish." He shared, "feeling any better now?"

And there was a knock on the door, it was a nurse who'd came to check on her. He got to know he could take her home by midnight or in the morning if they wish to stay overnight. YN insisted on going back home as she couldn't stand the smell of the hospital cleaning solutions and shit.

She was almost half asleep, her head in his shoulder when Harry brought her back to her flat. She insisted that she could go in alone and take care of herself as one of her roommate was home. She had kept a condition in from of him, that her friends can't know about this. He respected that.

When he went back to work the next day, that was when Jeremy went upto him and handed in the jerkin he found in the car as it was off for cleaning and service. And the piece of clothing is lying in his office since then.

But he regrets not ever texting her let alone call her to check in. He felt terrible about it and his therapist had to hear it all that week. And he was stuck in the traffic so it took him entire thirty minutes to get to her place when she called him crying in agony.

She had shut him off since that day. Shouldn't bother him, but it does.

Her constant curiosity kept him entertained honestly. Especially her random texts at three in the morning asking about a random claus in their agreement.

Sighing, Harry grabbed his coat and YN's jerkin before he left his office. He took a cab to the hospital as he'd asked Jeremy to go pick up YN. She was already there and he was five minutes late.

"Is it our turn?" He asked as he rushed towards where Jeremy was keeping YN company as she clearly she looked hungover. She looked up at him surprised which confused him. "What?"

"Nothing." She shook her head, "we're two hours early."

"Oh." Was his reaction as took a seat next to YN. "Did you eat something?"

"I did." She nodded, "air. It was deliciously polluted today!"

"Hey!" He whined, "do you want to go grab something?"

"No." She looked down at her phone in her lap, her Instagram feed open. She put on one of her earphone and sat there scrolling through reels.

"Here, this was in my car the other day." He gave her back the jerkin. Which she took and put it on. He just sighed a slumped in his chair, watch her scroll through cat videos for about five minutes before his patience wore out. "Okay, come on we're going to eat. We'll be back before it's your turn."

"I am not hungry, Harry."

Harry just texted Jeremy to get some sandwiches, because honestly, he was hungry too. His chef is on a vacation and he can barely cook himself instant ramen noodles. He can't ask his housekeeper to help him out even though he's been offered help many times.

"I am really sorry about that night." He finally got her attention.

"Hmm?" She looked at him confusedly.

"That night after I dropped you off to your place." He reminded her, "I am so sorry I didn't even bother to check up on you. I feel very bad about that."

"It's okay." She shrugged, "I fell asleep as soon as I got home anyway. Would have slept through your call."

He just nodded and sat there in silence for a few more minutes. "You don't have to do this all over again if you don't want to, YN, we can just work it out. The agreement I mean."

"Ms. YN YLN?" One of the nurse announced. "You're next."

"Okay, thank you." YN nodded.

Maybe the person before her cancelled or couldn't make it. They still had an hour and half of wait but they got lucky. The appointment went smoothly. They could go through the process of planting another embryo. YN was doing very well physically, apart from her hang over. And they did went through with the process that day.

YN went in alone this time, where as Harry got to be there with her that time.

She was nervous, as expected. But she didn't wanted to ask him, reading by her obvious body language he asked if he could go in with her. To which she hesitantly agreed to.

"It's going to be alright." He assured her, "it hardly takes five minutes, if my research is accurate. You don't have to feel stressed."

"You're making me more stressed!" She whined. The doctor ran her through what was going to happen, step by step before starting everything was prepared for the procedure.

She looked more tense as the moment went by. Harry who was sat next to her on the little chair, slipped his palm onto her, lacing his fingers through hers. Her hand was a bit sweaty and very warm, and how he wished he heard doctor talk about what was happening. His mind went all fuzzy the moment she held his hand back tightly.

"Ready?" Doctor Wilson asked. Harry was back to earth there, he looked at the lady in the scrubs wearing a hair cap and surgical gloves.

"Yes." YN nodded. "Don't look!"

"I wasn't." He could help but chuckle, he turned his back to what was happening. He felt her squeeze onto his hand tighter, her eyes shuttered closed. "It's okay." He whispered to her, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles gently.

"All done!" Dr. Wilson announced. And YN let out the breathe she didn't know she was holding in.

That was that. Maybe she had no idea what would happen and this time around she does. He just feels shut down.

Well, when have he opened upto her? It was fair enough.

But when he saw her again, she was stressed out.

They had managed to make just six embryos, which meant only three tries. YN was feeling too guilty about loosing the baby (or babies). Harry was splurging so much money after this. IVF is very fucking expensive.

Yes, he might be a millionaire but YN still couldn't wrap her mind around how he was ready to spend so much for a baby. Babies are expensive as well. She had so many questions she couldn't ask him.

Why doesn't he want to wait till he's found a partner? Why doesn't he opt for adoption instead? Why does he want a baby when he's got such a busy schedule? How will he be able to give the child his time when he's so busy all the time?

Of course she would worry about a baby. Especially if it was hers too!

Jeremy was going to drop YN off to her place as she had a day off before driving Harry back to work. But he'd gotten her a sandwich which she was in desparate need of. The car ride for the first fifteen minutes was silent. Jeremy doing his job, whilst Harry had a face which screamed he wants to say something but he was holding back. And YN was eating her sandwich.

"Oh my god, Jeremy this sandwich is amazing!" She squealed in excitement, "I'll pay you back I promise when in back home, thank you so much!"

"Don't worry about it, Ms. YLN." The man giggled.

"YN?" Harry called for her.

"Hmm?" She looked at him. As if Jeremy knew, he pressed the button to pull up the privacy divider on which confused YN.

"You don't have to do it again if this time doesn't work as well." He said, "don't want it taking toll on your physical and mental health."

"But I'd feel too guilty, Harry. Thirty thousand pounds is not a small amount. Especially for me, and I honestly don't know if I would be able to pay you back that amount in this life time." YN shared.

It was set clear in her mind. She would somehow pay him back if it doesn't work out. That would mean her paying him back with an annual interest. And that was just the money he'd signed on the cheque which went to her not including the hospital bills minus the procedure fees. She owed him a big time monetarily.

It was either she give him a baby or his money back. She's very stubborn.

"You don't have to YN." He assured her, "consider it as me helping you. It's alright." That rubbed off wrong on her. Maybe he could have worded it another way.

"Helping me as my what?" She asked, pissed, "as my friend? As an acquaintance? Or as a person who's doing some charity work? This is exactly why I never wanted to talk to my friends about this!"

"YN, that's not what I-"

"Stop it Harry, I've been trying to be nothing but nice to you, okay? You're pissing me off now. I have no business in even interacting with you for this." Her eyes pooling up with tears behind her glasses. "How you're going to take care of this child when you're always busy is eating me alive. I don't even know why you want a baby so bad to put my mind at ease." She proceeded to knock on the privacy divider, "Jeremy? Please stop the car."

"I'm sorry, you don't to worry about that, YN. I promise." He rushed.

"Fine." She nodded in agreement, "please don't contact me until the next hospital appointment." She grabbed her bag and left his car. They were still five drive away from her place.

......................................................................

Harry did just that.

The next appointment was in a six weeks. Every weekend, his therapist heard about it all, about how he feels so bad for everything, and how much of an asshole he is.

Well, he can at least try to be friends with her.

At first he thought she was in it for money because she denied him but went back to him. But if she was, she wouldn't go on and on about wanting to return every penny he's given her if this is not successful at all. And knowing her, he's sure her stubborn ass would do anything if she has enough time on her hand.

She made him change up two main claus in their contract. He wanted her to stay at his place, and not work in the last trimester. He'd do anything as long as he can make sure his future child was safe and sound. Especially since none of her friends would know about it. Her family is a different country. And he can't really controll what she does and doesn't want to do.

But lately he's feeling like he's buying a baby like it's some sort of toy. What can he do? He looked for adoption first, for whole two years but he was never in the top 10 preferences for them to even consider him as a good adoptive parent, even though he's got all the financial needs. He's got many god children, but he wants a little one to give all the love he's got in himself. At first he so wanted to adopt a child, but it wasn't in his luck.

YN was right, he's got minimal time out of work. He'd just bought a new bar as an investment. How was he going to take care of a child?

He sees her again today!

Hopefully everything will be alright. He hears some good news, or at least gets to rekindle with her and actually be friends.

She's very sweet.

Yeah, sarcasm is her second language (mainly when he's managed to piss her off or something) but oh boy is she so fucking sweet and adorable!

He saw her stood there by the entrance of his office building with Jeremy and the security guard. She was all chirpy and chatty today, holding onto a Tupperware container.

"Mr. Styles, how you doing today?" Jeremy spoke, exaggerating, he's seen Harry today already.

"I'm good Jeremy, thank you, and what about you?" Harry player along, watching YN's smile drop. "What's that?" He asked pointing at the Tupperware in YN's hands.

"Oh it's -"

Jeremy was interrupted by YN, "its is nothing. Jer, let's go now shall we?"

"Jer? That's new." Harry chuckled.

"Oh I'm afraid sir, you won't get it, it's a best friend thing." Jeremy said, opening the back door for him.

Harry usually slides in first so he did. He expected YN to get in as well but she hopped in the front seat. The entire drive to the hospital, Harry watched Jeremy andy YN talk and laugh, they had plans of catching up over some dinner tonight. Feeling left out and a ting of anger he slumped in his seat and pretended to scroll through his phone. Once at the hospital, YN walked in first.

"Jeremy do I have to remind you are married?" He whispered to his driver/ bodyguard.

"You don't have to sir." Jeremy smiled, "but I know she's old enough to be my daughter."

Harry coughed feeling embarrassed as he sped walked inside, following after YN.

Harry you snooze you loose, he taunted himself. She's already got another best friend!

"Hey," he said quietly as he approached YN sat on one of the benches in the waiting room.

"Thirty minutes of wait." She said.

"I, I know." He stuttered, "I, I wanted to ask, ummm... ask how are you?" And she just shrugged.

"My dad's fine." She shared, "almost fine I should say. His surgery was successful, he's back home and recovering."

"That's great news!" He exclaimed, slowly though, they're at a hospital.

"Mhmm." She nodded, "thanks to you. He, uhhh... he really needed it to make it. And..." He grabbed her bag from the chair next to hers and shuffled through her stuff, "sorry I had to shove my stuff back is after my class. Where is it?" Harry watched her struggle to find what he didn't know. Finally, she pulled out a notebook which had a paper in it handing over to him.

"What's this?" He flipped the paper around. It was a Cheque of Fifteen thousand pounds in his name. "What's this for?"

"Saved up!" She smirked proudly, "my friend's brother works at the hospital my dad was admitted in, he handled the insurance stuff so we only had to pay half of everything. I don't need this so I'm returning it, I need time to return the other half though."

"YN, I told you, you don't have to." He tried place the cheque back in her book.

"Keep it!" She warned him, packed up her stuff quickly. "I'll still help you Harry, and I'm going to trust that you're going to take very good care of this baby."

"You can trust me." He still assured her. His eyes brim up with tears so let his head down so she doesn't see him crying.

"Harry?" He felt her hand on his bicep which made him hitch, "you alright?" Warmth of her hand was gone within a second.

"Mhmm." He nodded, still sniffling on his tears. "I am, I am fine."

"Hey, it's gonna be okay!" She cooed, still sitting at a distance from him.

......................................................................

Harry was a second close to peeing his pants as he sat there patiently whilst the nurse was getting the blood work done, YN was sent to take generic pregnancy test.

"Wha— what happened?" He rushed as he saw YN walk back into the room they were asked to wait in.

"I don't know." She shrugged and watched him slump back into ghe chair. "I think it is going to come out positive." She took a seat on check up bed, next to the ultrasound equipment.

"How do you know?" He asked and she just shrugged again.

Okay, she isn't going to sit there and tell him she's missed her period which is a good thing. He can put two and two together himself when the results are handed over, just hope he was good at Maths in school.

It was few minutes later when doctor arrived with the blood work reports and the best news. It was a different doctor and not Doctor Wilson. And the nurse named Willow, who was in-charge of the blood work.

The new doctor was a handsome fella. Tall, blue eyes, beefy biceps and all that. Everything to make HARRY insecure. Why insecure? He didn't know. But oh boy was Harry feeling this weird (and negative) feeling in the pit of his stomach as YN interacted with him.

"Congratulations, the tests are positive!" Doctor announced as he took a seat on the chair next to the check up bed. "I apologise for not introducing myself, I am Doctor Mike Jones, Dr. Wilson is on a vacation so by the time she returns I'll be helping her patients. Please don't hesitate to ask any questions you have." YN nodded at him with a smile. He proceeded to go into details about the blood work and what was good and what could potentially be risks.

"By the reports we can tell you're about eight weeks in, that means we can get the ultrasound done." Dr. Jones shared as he stood back up, "I'll leave for a moment whilst nurse Willow runs you down with the procedure."

"Yeah, thank you doc." YN nodded.

Least to say, Harry was happy seeing the little grainy pulse on the screen. He was excited to go tell his mum and sister about it all. He was excited to finally start preparing for the baby to come.

Last time, he couldn't celebrate. Though he doubts he could right now. He should wait a little bit longer now. Maybe next eight weeks or so...

He can at least share it with his mum, right!

"Oh my god!" He gasped softly seeing the little heart beat on the screen. His sight blurring up with tears, "they're so tiny!" He looked at YN in excitement grabbing onto her hand.

"Let's listen to the heart beat now." Dr. Jones said.

The little rapid beats of distorted heart beats almost took Harry's breath away. He wanted to scream and sob in excitement. The rest of it was boring yet important stuff. Measuring of the fetus, looking for any potential complications which there seemed none in that moment.

Oh and there was just one baby.

On the way back to YN, the car ride was silent. She was sat in the back seat next to him this time. He noticed her take out the Tupperware container from her bag.

"Congratulations!" She smiled and offered him the sweets.

"Oh, he's lactose intolerant!" Jeremy joked which YN was unaware of that.

"What?" She looked at him, "I'm sorry you can't have this."

"Come on, Jeremy!" Harry groaned, "I am not lactose intolerant YN he just likes to joke around."

"You still want these then?" She suggested.

"I'm good, thank you." He politely declined, "and thank you... for helping me."

"Nuh-uh! You know we celebrate with sweets in India. I got these for Jeremy 'cause I got to know my dad is out of hospital now, healthy and fine. We heard another good news here." She shared, "this is just a little celebration, about everything slowly getting back together."

"Yup!" Jeremy sounded from the driver's seat.

"You knew about this?" Harry was surprised.

"Of course I know sir, my wife is Indian."

"Okay..." He sounded stretching the word, he took one piece of whatever sweets it was and ate it, "what is that?"

"It's made of cottage cheese and flour, it's called Gulab jamun." She explained. "It's my favourite. I made it last night as I craving it, it's pain in ass to make but oh my god it's so good! Right, Jeremy?"

"My wife says the same thing, YN." Jeremy chuckled, "everytime she tries to make it, it turns out awful. According to her, not me."

And these started talking again making Harry left out again, but he zoned out. Harry has never been so confused about his feelings thus far. He's been trying very hard to stay away from her emotionally, but she makes it hard not to when she's telling him exactly what she's feeling. It's annoyingly good.

"I'll take the train Jeremy, don't worry about it." YN caught Harry's attention, they had reached her place.

"Wait, train to where?" He asked.

"To Jeremy's..." YN answered confusedly, "he's invited me for dinner at his."

"Why, why are you taking the train?" He rushed panicking, "I, I mean he can pick you up right? Right, Jeremy?"

"I can perfectly manage to go on my own, Harry." She shrugged, "and he's your employee not mine, it's just rude to ask him to pick me up."

"But, he's been taking you to the hospital whenever I ask him too."

"Yeah, because it's your work he's doing. I am not going to ask him to do anything for me." She shrugged.

"Okay, can you kids not argue about this?" Jeremy spoke up, "I'll pick you up YN no worries."

"No, you don't have to Jeremy," YN was glaring at Harry sat next to her, "I know exactly why he's saying this. I don't know why you still went for me if you don't trust me anymore. Could have started over for all you care. I quit trying to be friends with you, for good now." With that he's had YN barging out of his car again. "You need therapy. You need help!" With that she slammed the car door shut.

"You should go talk to her." Jeremy suggested, "you know she's one of the nicest person I've come across so I have to put in good word for her. I know it's hard for you to trust anyone, but you can trust her. She's a good friend."

Harry nodded and got out of the car, "I'll go talk to her."

"I'm going to take a cab home, you can bring her over for dinner." Jeremy handed him the car keys.

"Okay, thank you." He gave Jeremy a quick hug before he was running into the building.

......................................................................

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA (30f) for losing my cool/snapping at my roommate and friend (30m, who I will call Kyle) because he was too loud playing games online with his friends?

For context, in case it's needed: this happened a couple months ago, but it's been on my mind. We are both autistic and thus got a late start in our adult lives, in several ways. We have been friends for 10 years and have lived together for roughly 7 of them, on and off (we adopted 2 cats together many years ago, its just easier like this so we dont have to separate them or force one of us to be away from the cats. we love them very much. kind of a coparenting situation lol). Kyle has a salaried tech job that's remote for 70% of the time, and I've recently become a full-time online college student after failing to "make it" without a degree.

We live in a tiny 2-bedroom house that Kyle's family owns. We're only charged for utilities, which is why neither of us are leaving anytime soon (contrary to what you might assume, Kyle does not make a lot of money), especially since it's giving me the opportunity to go to school full-time and not worry about rent. Kyle helps me a lot with groceries and other necessities and I do most of the chores.

So we are always basically on top of each other, and sometimes we get on each other's nerves. We try to be respectful of each others' space, but it's hard because there is not much space in the first place.

I had a really busy day studying and doing homework, which is basically every day for me, since I'm taking 6 classes, 4 of which are STEM classes. So I tend to fall asleep early if I'm not unintentionally pulling all-nighters. I was trying to sleep when this happened around 9pm.

He usually closes his door because he knows he can be very loud, but it doesn't help much. I ended up having to close my own door to try and drown out some of his yelling and laughing, which I understand is going to happen and I try not to hold it against him.

But then he opened his door and left it wide open, so I could hear everything, like he was in the same room. Something really funny must have happened because he started scream-laughing.

Despite this being a semi-regular weekly occurrence, I was really startled. I figured, it probably wasn't intentional and he'll try to quiet down and close his door. I tried to relax and as soon as I started to fall asleep, he did it again, except louder.

This time he didn't stop, he was full-on screaming and yelling at the top of his lungs. Kinda like those game streamers/youtubers where literally all they do is scream the whole time? Very similar. My cat, who was asleep under the blanket on top of me, got startled awake and scratched the shit out of my leg.

I think this all triggered a "fight" response because I was suddenly just so incredibly pissed at Kyle, which I tried to get under control, but he would not stop screaming and I literally could not hear myself think.

(I cannot wear earplugs or have anything in/covering my ears for huge sensory reasons.)

Then my cat wanted to leave the room to see what the commotion was, so I had to open the door, which gave me a direct line of sight to to Kyle at his computer.

I walked over to his doorway. Tried to knock and call his name, but he didnt notice with his noise cancelling headphones on. So I slammed my hand against his door to get his attention & yelled "Hey! Shut the fuck up, Kyle!"

He looked surprised to see me and laughed and kinds waved it off and said "sorry, it got a little intense" and he started to explain what they were doing.

I cut him off and said "I don't care. Shut the hell up." He said he could close his door again, and I said "No, you need to stop. Just stop! You're freaking the cats out too!" and I pointed to my leg with huge bloody scratch marks, shut his door, went back to my room, shut my own door. And of course after that I had adrenaline coursing through my body and I couldn't fall asleep anyway.

After that, I didnt hear a single sound from his room apart from an occasional quiet laugh. I started to feel guilty. I think I overreacted and ruined his fun. I know this is his way of blowing off steam halfway through the work week.

I also felt embarrassed because his friends probably heard me throwing a fit. We have lived with them before, and they're exactly that loud every single night. I have had to ask them to quiet down multiple times, and Kyle told me later on that gave them the impression that I'm. Well, "neurotic, controlling bitch" was heavily implied. Kyle is usually a lot more chill, but being around these guys influences him to act more like them.

But, I guess being loud while having fun isn't a crime, especially when it's not even 10pm yet. I feel like I proved his friends right, maybe.

The next morning I apologized, he apologized too, and everything seems to be good between us, but it's been a while and he's a lot quieter during game night now. He's such a reserved and stressed out person, he hardly ever laughs except when he's playing games, so I feel like I destroyed an important outlet.

I told another friend what happened and she said I didn't overreact at all and she would have flipped out way sooner if her husband did that. (Not sure it's comparable I mean we aren't married lol) And for the record, this friend and her husband were once part of a now-fractured friend group including Kyle and his game night friends, but grew apart, for a lot of reasons, but I think mainly because the Loud Gamer Friends never really grew up while everyone else matured and moved on to different phases in life.

Basically my friends current impression of Kyle is that he is a decent person but incredibly emotionally stunted and feels like he may unintentionally cope in ways that often hurt me without caring as much as she thinks he should. Which....feels partially accurate, I guess. But isn't that placing too much responsibility on him for my wellbeing? He does a lot for me, so it felt like an unfair thing to say.

My mom on the other hand, seems to fully think I am an asshole fun-ruiner. She thinks I should have tried harder to calm down. Maybe I should have approached him sooner - nicely.

And I agree. He probably would have tried his best to oblige even if he couldn't fully succeed. But that's the reason I didn't bother - in the past he has only been able to honor that kind of request for maybe 10-15 minutes, then forgets, and it's exhausting to keep reminding him.

Anyway... what does everyone here think?

[ficsbyuzi]

All the ways lead to you - part 1

Characters: Aemond Targaryen, Inara Maegyr (Original female character) in a Modern HOTD AU

Warnings : FICTIONAL PLOTLINE. Established relationship. Me swooning over Aemond Targaryen and writing this🤭 Inara being a sweet and awesome girl.

Note: This post and that a mutual of mine (@/elegantsplendour) remarked that this fic series has 'Succession' vibes. I wasn't aware of the show when I wrote this last year, and I still haven't watched it. Any resemblance to its plot is purely coincidental. Everything that is going to be re-posted here, comes from my delulu mind.

Inara's thoughts and a little background about her are in italics.

Word count - 1.2k

"You know me, mom, I can't just start working in some random hospital as a junior doctor," Inara spoke to her mother on phone, cradling it between her ear and shoulder as she watered her kitchen plants on a Saturday afternoon, “I am trying to find a job where I can practice both medicine and my art.”

"Where on earth will you find such a job, Inara?" Her mom questioned disapprovingly. "You will soon be a licensed doctor and able to practice medicine. You should start with a clinician job and save up for your MD tuition."

"Let me at least try, Mum. Maybe I can join some makeup manufacturing labs or intern with those big-shot skincare providers."

Inara heard her mom sigh and tut in response to her plans, a reaction she was quite used to by now. Yet, the conviction in her voice didn't falter as she continued, "I will definitely enroll in an MD program. Don't worry.”

As long as Inara could remember, she had always loved makeup. Even as a child, she would rummage through her mom's makeup kits and spend hours in front of the mirror, painting her own face and sometimes her mother's.

Her parents always wished to see her in the white coat of a doctor - a dream she shared with them. Cracking the medical entrance exams straight out of high school was a cakewalk, her sharp intellect paving the way for her.

Despite plenty of medical schools in Essos, the allure of studying abroad was too strong and liberating. The prestige of the renowned Citadel Medical School in Westeros had captured her attention long ago, and securing a seat there felt like destiny fulfilled.

While medical school required her to focus entirely on classes and books, her creative side yearned for exploration. Her love for makeup never faded, and after dedicating half her life to studying, she decided to follow her heart. A heart that always danced between two worlds, two passions, yearning to embrace both simultaneously.

As soon as she adjusted to her new life on a foreign land, she enrolled into a weekend certification course near her medical school. And, thus began her journey towards becoming a rare combination of a licensed medical practitioner and a trained makeup artist.

Days blurred into nights as she balanced the demands of medical studies with the pursuit of her passion.

Six years flew by in a whirlwind of learning and she was now nearing the end of her curriculum. After the sixth and last month of her hospital training and formal graduation, she would be a licensed medical practitioner. Thanks to her dedication to both medicine and makeup, she now stood as a certified makeup artist, with an expertise in skin care and prosthetics.

After freelancing a bridal makeup assignment a couple of months ago, she decided to take a detour from a predictable route towards advanced degrees or clinical positions straight after college. She planned to give herself a year of exploration into other career options before enrolling into an MD in Dermatology. And so she made up her mind on freelancing or finding a job that could extend her stay in Westeros, thereby allowing her to save up for her MD.

"Anyway, you've been so busy with everything else, you haven't even thought about finding someone. You're not getting any younger!" Her mom steered the course of the conversation to the topic she dreaded the most.

Oh boy, here it comes!

The inevitable discussion about her biological clock and society's expectations for single women was about to begin.

"Mom, please, I'm twenty four, not forty four!"

"Yes, and about time you started thinking of settling down!"

Rolling her eyes, Inara let out a sharp sigh.

"I have chores to do, mum. I gotta go," she cut the conversation short, trying her best to hide her rising impatience, “Bye! Love you!”

"Fine, But please think about what I said. Love you. ”

After ending the call, Inara continued staring at her phone's home screen. Smiling faces of her family stared back.

Her mom’s words still lingered in her mind, as she made herself a cup of chamomile tea and settled herself infront of her laptop.

She sipped her tea, smiling and recalling her mom's statement about doing tons of different things at a time. She had always loved to hustle. And, she loved how chimeric her career goals were. It wasn't an easy road, but she was determined to make it work somehow. Career satisfaction had always been her first priority; finding someone to date or marry, wasn't.

Inara's attention snapped back to her laptop screen, her eyes widening as she noticed the fourth and fifth unread emails from the top. Both arrived around the same time from the job search website she had signed up for.

The subject of the first email read:

Requirement of an assistant make-up artist on an upcoming TV Show.

The second one read:

Requirement of a physician / medical officer(s) on a TV production.

Universe works in the strangest of ways. All you have to do is ask.

She quickly opened both emails in separate tabs. They were from the human resources department of a television production house in King’s Landing. A period drama based on mythological history was in pre-production, and the HR team was hiring people on contract basis.

As someone who rarely watched television,or movies, she chuckled at the thought of working on a TV production house. Nevertheless, she decided to give it a try. With a few quick clicks, she accessed the links for both the positions and uploaded her resume. As she crafted cover letters for each position, wishful thoughts surfaced again. She let out another exhilarating chuckle, as a wave of nervous excitement crawled down her spine.

How fun and cool it would be, if I could somehow do both the jobs simultaneously.

-

A week later, as Inara was on her way home from the hospital where she interned, her phone rang. Seeing a number with the King’s Landing code, she gasped.

With her heart alight with anticipation, she answered the call. Clearing her throat, she adopted her sweetest and most professional tone before greeting the caller.

"Hi, Dr. Maegyr, this is Stannis calling from the HR department at Red Keep Productions. We've shortlisted your resume for the opening we posted about. Will you be available for an interview next week?"

"Hello, Mr. Stannis. Sure, I...I will be available!" She tried her best to mask the excitement in her voice. "Uh, I applied for two positions. May I know which one I have been shortlisted for?"

"Dr. Maegyr, your profile is one of the most interesting we've received so far. You have been called to interview for both positions. I can't say with certainty right now if you'll be hired for one or both roles as that will be decided based on your performance in the interviews." She could sense his smile through the phone.

"Thank you," she mouthed, looking up, her amber eyes sparkling with gratitude.

---x----

Part 2

[steddieas-shegoes]

you are the best thing that's ever been mine

for the @steddieholidaydrabbles warm up round 1 (prompt: high school or college AU) rated: T wc: 638 cw: n/a tags: established relationship, angst with a happy ending

--------------------------------------------------------------

Being with Eddie had been easy. Two years at college, pretty much sharing a dorm unofficially, studying together whenever they weren't working their shitty jobs, annoying Eddie's roommate Gareth constantly.

But when graduation came, and real life set in, they realized quickly that what they thought was hard was nothing.

They had a small apartment on the outskirts of town, rundown and barely worthy of the rent they had to pay, but it was theirs.

Steve managed to find a job at an elementary school as a guidance counselor right after graduation, but Eddie struggled for a while. It didn't seem like anyone was hiring for a music teacher, and he started to wonder if he'd made a mistake in his degree.

He thought he'd taken a safer route than just going into the music industry, or trying to, but clearly he'd been wrong.

"Baby, we're fine. I make enough to cover what we need, we just have to be on a tight budget," Steve told him after Eddie had explained how useless he felt not contributing to their bills yet.

They were lying on the couch, Eddie tense under Steve.

"But you shouldn't have to, Steve. I'm basically the same as the spider we refuse to kill in the shower," Eddie groaned.

"No you're not. You're trying to find a job and you're going to," Steve insisted.

"And if I don't?" Eddie said, pushing Steve off of him so he could stand up and pace. "If I end up searching for a job for months or years, how long until you get sick of having to support us both? How long until you kick me out because I can't give you what you want? We can't ever have a family on just your income in this shitty apartment."

"Eds, you won't be unemployed forever. We've got time."

But Eddie didn't want to listen.

He walked over to their window that opened onto a fire escape and climbed through it.

Steve saw that it was raining, but knew Eddie wasn't going to come inside until he was ready.

If Eddie had to be in the rain, then Steve was going to be with him.

Steve joined him a moment later, cringing slightly at the cold rain instantly soaking his clothes.

"You remember our senior year, when I was convinced I'd have to drop out because my social work for students professor hated me? I cried every night for three weeks about his class and his attitude. I was awful. But you listened to it all, held me through it all, helped me study for tests and prepare for my final presentation. You remember what you told me the day of the final?" Steve asked, keeping some distance between them while he spoke.

Eddie shook his head.

"You said that one hard class wasn't going to keep me from being what students need. You told me that I was going to be fine because I already cared about kids I don't even know yet, and anyone who couldn't see that was an idiot. And you told me you loved me for the first time."

Eddie looked over at him, brows furrowed, hair dripping wet from the rain.

"You loved me through a tough schedule, and being broke, and complaining about someone who ultimately didn't matter. You loved me when I was an asshole to you and everyone, you loved me when it was hard. Now it's my turn, okay? Let me love you through it all."

Eddie didn't answer for a moment, but then he leaned in and kissed Steve's forehead gently.

"I never thought I'd have someone who loved me like this. You're the best part of my life, you know that?"

"And you're mine," Steve replied, kissing him on the lips as the rain continued to fall.

[shutit-haha]

Rocker Bakugo/Manager reader

Rocker Bakugo who everyone labels as cocky but you simply say arrogant. There's videos that have gone viral of you correcting people during interviews saying he's only like this because he knows what he can do. This is how you gain your popularity as his manager.

"Now you're quite cocky aren't you?" The grey haired man leans forward onto his desk.

"No, he's not." You speak up from where you sit next to Bakugo on the dark green sofa.

"But he is," the man corrects you.

"No, he's not." You've taken on a more stern tone, "anytime Katsuki has ever told me 'I don't need you to teach me' he goes and proves that in fact he doesn't need my assistance. He's very talented and has been since a surprisingly young age, do I wish he was nicer yes, every one does. He's arrogant only because he's aware of how talented he is." The interview was cut short after that, security escorting your crew out. This is how you accidently make your mark.

Rocker Bakugo who has a ton of groupies but doesn't really care. As his career starts to rocket, he appears more and more in public with hickeys on his shoulders and chest. At first there's speculation of it being from wild fan, however it's all from you. Gotta make your claim on your drummer boy.

Rocker Bakugo who sits you on his lap and tries to teach you how to play the drums. He wraps his hands around yours, has you pick your favorite song and the two of you learn it together. When ever he has free time (which includes the five minutes he has before showtime) he'll sit you down and have you practice.

"Let's see," he pulls you down onto him.

"I'm not there yet," you're all bashful and shy like the other fan girls. You're not really musically inclined, you dabble sure but negotiation's are your world.

"Yeah you are, come on play." He doesn't grab onto your hands this time, forcing you to play on your own.

"How was that," you're eager for his validation.

"Certified drummer baby, might take my job."

"Don't gaslight."

"'M not."

One day he pulls you on stage for an encore. He gets up from his stool, sits you down instead and has the whole band play your favorite song as a live concert.

Rocker Bakugo who plays dumb when you're talking about laws and contracts. You know full well he understands what you're talking about. When everything was young; your relationship, careers, and ages, the two of you went to get your degrees together.

He'd help you study and was one of the top of your class. You both walked the stage together. Fast forward and his degrees just sitting there in his studio while his eye candy of a manager takes care of everything for him.

"What's that," he ask interrupting you when you use a 'big legal word.'

"Katsuki," you whine.

"What? I'm fuckin' confused explain it to me."

"You understand, I know you understand."

"Brain's melted from all those guitar riffs love, nothing in here but music notes."

"Kat," you swat at him.

"Alright fine, like when that sexy voice of yours explains it to me."

"We're not in college anymore."

"Wasn't that long ago."

Rocker Bakugo who slays at guitar hero and has the drum version. When he's pissed he plays, you come home and find him just jamming the fuck out. He's broken the game once or twice it's a pain in the ass to pay. The damn rich boy even owns the arcade version, bakusquad comes over and plays it all the time.

Rocker Bakugo who has to have your validation. (We all know he has an inferiority complex.) Who gets off stage all sweaty and shit, has that smug ass grin on his face. Still without fail always finds you and is like "how'd I do?"

"Sexy as fuck."

"Yeah," he's breathing heavily in your neck. His arms are limp by his sides, muscles sore.

"Yeah," you push his hair out of his face.

Rocker Bakugo who had everyone convinced you were just some girl. You were always with him, even when recording most people kind of just assumed you were some accessory. You always love the reactions you get when you're introduced as his manager.

Rocker Bakugo who people assume doesn't actually love you. The two of you always appear standoff-ish and scary. However this is only because you're always on alert when the two of you are with new people. You're polite but that bubbly personality of yours completely fizzles away. You're his no bullshitting manager and nothing else during those times, all work mode. There's a rule about no PDA as a way to keep up your image and reputation.

It's such a huge contrast from how the two of you are on livestreams and what not.

Rocker Bakugo who low-key has a mommy/daddy kink, and loves your praise. You're unafraid of telling him when's messed up or needs to rehearse something again. And well your boyfriend's learned to swallow your critique. This means that when he does do something perfect the first time he expects you to hang it up on the fridge.

"Again," you're leaning up against the wall on the opposite side of the room. The darkness of the rest of the space makes you seem barely there, you're like a phantom.

"Again," he growls back at you. The rest of the group is watching with open eyes weary of what is going to happen next.

"Are your muscles cramping?"

"No."

"Are you hungry?"

"No," his voice gets louder.

"Thirsty?"

"No," and louder.

"Am I overworking you then?"

"no," and louder.

"Well then do you think you can play it right this time?" Your words make everyone in the room wince, except for your boyfriend. His jaws clenched biting the words he so desperately wants to shout.

"Yeah," he barks at you.

"Good," you lean back against the wall adjusting your shoulders for comfort. "Again."

Rocker Bakugo who fights with you sometimes. "What kind of contract is that," he snarls at you.

"Katsuki what you're asking me for doesn't exist."

"Then make it happen."

"It doesn't work like that, this is difficult."

"It always is."

"Oh don't give me that, you know damn well this is hard. Actually I bet you don't, I bet you haven't even looked at it." You scoff shaking your head, "you're bitching to me about something you know nothing about."

"Bullshit," he spats.

"Yeah ok."

"And what was that shit during practice," his hand is flat on your desk. Your study smells like him and you're not quite sure how you feel about that. It's like he's invaded your space.

"That shirt during practice was me trying to make you better."

"Yeah right," he sneers putting his other hand down on the desk.

"Not everyone's got it out for you Katsuki." You rise from your seat so that you may now stand behind your desk. "You know what Dyna-mighT I can just pack up and leave. I mean you wouldn't want to sleep next to a greedy traitor." You walk out from behind your desk, "you poor fucking cash cow," you glare at him. "I loved you before all of this, when we were broke fucking high school kids."

"Not true."

"Yeah because your mommy and daddy had money to back you up." You point to yourself, "I didn't have that though. I went out on a limb because I believed in you, I took a leap of faith because I trusted the net would appear. This," you bring your finger down onto your desk, "is my income. We don't have to love each other but I am not losing this job."

"Because you made me right, you made me want I am now." He's snarling at your back, you're only a couple steps away from the door.

You snort, "you made yourself. You're really fucking smart, and your gorgeous too but FUCK do you let your insecurity get in the way. And it's my fault for making your ego bigger, this wasn't all you. Go through those records and try and tell me I haven't done some crazy shit for you. Go through documents, interviews, concerts, post, look and compare old contracts."

"Bullshit, I know people that can do better."

"Than go find them," you wave him off.

"You're just a fucking manager-"

"And you're just a fucking cash cow," you slam the door behind you.

[yandere-fics]

Darla finding out that Darling is moving to another town to escape the bullying. c:

♡ Darling Trying To Move Away From Darla ♡

You thought you would be fine dealing with everyone's criticism constantly, it was just college, they would forgot all about this petty drama eventually and yet it only grew worse the longer your breakup with Darla had been and while you had briefly considered going back to her just to make it all stop, you realized it wouldn't really fix anything, they would still take about you behind your back and no one was truly your friend, they were Darla's friends, pretending to tolerate you for the sake of her because she 'loved' you so much, though you wouldn't really consider this love, this was control, she wanted you for her perfect pretty life and her sick idea of domestic bliss that she always talked about when you were alone together, how she just wanted you back and how incredible your life in the future could be with her as a professor and you as her wife who spent your days doing whatever you wanted while she made the real money, she would even let you finish college first if it's what you wanted though you could swear she had a small growl in her voice when she talked about you finishing college first. She wanted you to drop out, she was always telling you not to study and just relax with her and who were you to deny her wishes? You would drop out, but not to be her wife or spend time with her, you were going back to your hometown, you quit, you were entirely fed up with her but everyone on campus was one of her friends and so the moment you began to pack it was inevitable that someone would inform her, it was only a matter of time before you heard the frantic knocks on your door.

"Hey there! I heard you were moving? Why didn't you come tell me, it's a bit mean for your girlfriend to find out through gossip." You hated that naive shtick she put on, as if she wasn't entirely aware that you had broken up since shed been leaving voicemails for you every morning, night, and in between all of her classes and meals asking what she did wrong like she wasn't aware, you knew she wasn't dumb so you didn't know why she was still trying this act. You were fairly certain she had told everyone to bully you, though you had no proof, so she had no right to be shocked at your dropping out when it had been her actions that caused this.

"I'm leaving town Darla, don't act surprised, you're the one who told everyone to bully me yeah? Well you got what you wanted, I'm dropping out." She gritted her teeth, her nails digging into her palms, before titling her head in mock confusion.

"Hmm? I'm not sure what you mean, why would my friends bully my girlfriend? They were just trying to convince you to stop being so angry with is all, they just want to see us happy together again." She walked over to you, trying to take the clothes out of your hands and make you stop packing but you yanked them away from her making her fall backwards a little bit. "You can't leave town, I can't do long distance, don't you even care? This is my first relationship, it can't end like this!"

"Darla I know you aren't dumb, you and I both know you told them to harass me to try to get me to go back to you and I really hate this innocent act you're putting on." She huffed and rolled her eyes, her demeanor changing, she shut the door, locking it before turning back to you.

"Y/N, we're in love, which means you are going to stay here, hang out with me while I finish my degree and then we'll get married and all my friends will come to our wedding so we can show them just how in love we are and since we're in love, I will do everything to keep my girlfriend here with me even if it means chaining you in my sisters basement and making my other sister kill your whole family. Is that what you want?" You had heard rumors that her sister, Sophie could make people disappear but you hadn't really given it much thought until now, perhaps that's why Darla was able to rule the school, because anyone who suspected her even slightly would disappear.

"N-no, I don't want that." You barely had any freedom but it was still better than being locked in a basement at least, you would stay.

"Good! We'll let everyone know we're together again at lunch today! Come on." It was back to her fake cheery act again, though you noticed how tightly she held onto your hand as she dragged you, so much tighter than before.

[alrightbuckaroo]

Happy AU-gust, everyone! To celebrate, I plan to publish the 1950s rentboy AU later this month, but for now, I want to celebrate all the other alternative universes these boys have found each other in!

come and take a walk on the wild side (13/?)

Play the part, live the lie; this is how we survive. ------- Carlos Reyes is a college student who's trying to pay his rent, get his degree and make his dad understand he doesn't need to worry about his son's future. That said, Carlos isn't too sure he's not worried about his own future. It feels like each day begets a question that can't be answered. After meeting TK Strand during a night out; he thinks he might just be the answer he's been looking for. What they didn't plan for, was Carlos being the answer TK wasn't looking for.

summer slipped us underneath her tongue (3/3)

TK Strand is a freshly heartbroken art history student who's been given the opportunity of a lifetime; studying art in the heart of it all, Paris, France. However, he thinks it's a cruel taunt from the universe. He's studying what he loves so much in the city of love but is stuck thinking there's no one out there who loves him. Carlos Reyes is a career driven culinary student studying at Le Cordon Bleu. He has hard time maintaining relationships, an even harder time of detaching himself from his work and and has an awful habit of doubting everything about himself. After a night out that they end up sharing with each other; they agree to keep any and all things casual. Well, like most things, that's easier said than done.

a little taste of love (1/1)

TK Strand, a florist working for the renowned flower shop, Bloom With a View, can't take his eyes off of Carlos Reyes, a baker working at Cake My Day, the bakery across the street.

love can pull you out of yesterday (5/5)

The day TK falls through the ice is a day that Carlos doesn't want to remember, but it's one he can't forget. It's the day he's currently stuck living over and over and over again.

my honey in the summer

a 911 Lone Star college AU series

Coming later this month:

take a kiss without regret - a 1950s Rentboy AU

WIPs

you can't catch a sinner with a saint - an Old West AU

love in a hurricane - a Bodyguard AU

love by any other name - a Witness Protection AU

lone star lately - a mid 2000s Rom-Com AU

[nikki-is-a-nerd]

Karma is my Boyfriend

Synopsis:

You may not have any plans on exacting revenge to those who've wronged you, but when karma hits them it's no mystical thing, It's just your boyfriend who remembers everything.

Note: NO CURSE AU, Gojo x AFAB!reader, Freelancer!Gojo x College student! Reader

___________________________________

College isn't as easy going as your parents told you, neither was it your most memorable time. It was school, and like all things it had its ups and downs. For a person studying Clinical Psychology, you found that learning to read people and constantly being surrounded by them, wasn't a good mix. Yes, you have bullies, though you are annoyed by their actions your rational mind knows that the only reason they pick on you is because they either feel powerless towards the adult figures in their life or they point out your flaws that they too see in themselves in hopes of transferring their insecurities. Pitiful actions really. Satoru believed you were a saint because of it. How could you, an angel (in his very humble and true opinion, as he once so kindly exclaimed) be so understanding to the slimy, filth of the earth kind of people. Good question.

"Look at her, how can her boyfriend stand to look at her face all day? She looks like a corpse reanimated." A voice cackled.

"I'm surprised you even know what that word means. Let me guess, it was the word for the day?" You said off handedly.

Her friends or posse, glared at you. Like you cared. They snickered to themselves as you suddenly felt a warm liquid cascade down your body.

"Oops, now you look exactly like you should." Their leader laughs, a shrill sound really.

You didn't really care but this was a very expensive sweater that Satoru bought you with his first paycheck for one of his gigs. You sighed, sure he would say something along the lines of 'its alright, I can buy you fifteen more of those' or 'that sweater was so last season, now I can buy you something new' but this was your favorite. You wordlessly took off your now ruined sweater and walked away. A ruined sweater wasn't worth getting called to the dean's office.

Now Satoru was a lot of things, model, gamer, streamer, dance choreographer, substitute teacher for a high school (you don't really get how he keeps getting that), and in his words your loving rich boyfriend. But what you didn't know is that he's petty and vengeful to a fault. He believes that if you wouldn't do it, might as well he does because you are too empathetic for your own good (thank God you were studying to be a therapist). Now you may not tell Satoru about the bullies but Suguru does. You didn't know that Suguru was in the same university taking his Master's degree in business, and coincidentally just taking a video of the entire exchange to send to your lovely boyfriend. Yes, weird but in Satoru's defense his friends like you more than they like him (he's not entirely wrong).

Satoru received a message from Suguru, minutes after you walked away from your bullies. This day was his Streaming day, so mid stream his fans would say that it was the first time they've seen him frown. He kindly apologized to his fans and ended the stream early that day. He knew you weren't one to complain, or to tell him what happened. So he wordlessly shops online to get you a better and cheap (in his opinion cheap means something your bullies can't afford even if they used their daddies black card) sweater that you were sure to love.

"Toru I'm home." he hears your voice call out.

He smooths out his features, and smiles when he sees you enter your shared room. He also takes note that you probably used the university shower since you're wearing a different blouse and cardigan (both bought by him on your twenty-first birthday).

"Sweetie! Your home!" He lunges at you, long limbs and all.

"Toru, you're heavy and tall!" You whined.

"You left me all alone here in our home and when I show you how much I miss you, you complain." He sulks in a corner, making you laugh lightly.

"Not what I meant and I had to go to school." You reasoned.

"Take me with you." He whined even more, somehow reminding you of a kicked puppy.

"Tried that and do you remember what happened?" You asked.

"Not really, I just knew that I was ripped away from my darling baby!" He exclaimed as he walked towards the bed and flopped on it.

You shook your head as you opted to cuddle close to your boyfriend. You were exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. Satoru was more than happy to provide you comfort. As you slept, he checked out the people in the video that Suguru sent him. He remembers their faces, their leader, he remembers is also a model for the same brand he models with. She would brag about getting the job because of her father. He was close friends with the brand owner, after all she was his senior.

"Mei-mei, remember that one really annoying model of yours?" He messaged.

"Yeah, what about her?" She replied.

"Can you just terminate her contract and fire her?" He asked.

"Sure. I'd let Utahime deal with the rest. Plus she barely does shit. I didn't even hire her, I specifically said no, and her god father who works in the stupid casting still got her. Fired him too. But why do you want her gone?" She texted back.

"Bullied my girlfriend." Was all he replied. Mei-mei only sent him a thumbs up. Next were her friends, which was way easier. They were rich kids, just staying in the school because their parents were paying for them to be there, even with all the violations they had. Did it help that he was from a distinguished family and that Suguru was willing to play a part as well? Yes. Suguru's family and his family all petitioned for all four of your bullies to be expelled from the University and any of its sister schools, they complained that scandals like these were not worth protecting.

When you went to uni next week, you were surprised to see all four of your bullies having their things and themselves removed from the premises. You eyed them curiously and went about your day. You thought that maybe they were found doing something they shouldn't but they were rich, don't rich people buy their way out of their problems? Nonetheless you were kind of glad.

When you returned home, you found Satoru cooking in the kitchen. He's been proud of his skill as well after he took some classes since he felt bad having to make you cook dinner after your uni and your part time job.

"Welcome back? How was your day?" Satoru asked.

"Work was fine, the cafe was packed today. School was also fine. Saw some people get escorted out of uni." You said.

"Ooh, tell me all about it." He said as if he wasn't the reason.

"Well, the ones who were escorted out were notorious bullies. I mean who remains a bully well into college? Like what fucked up psyche must you have to do that? But they were also my bullies so a part of me was glad." You said the last part softly.

"Did you say they were bullying you? Baby you should've told me. I would've given them a piece of my mind." He cooed. He should really get an award for how well he's acting right now.

"Yeah but it's nothing." You said as you clung to him.

"Well at least they won't bother you anymore." He said truthfully.

"Yeah. Karma really got them in the end." You said as you looked up at him with a small grin.

"Yeah, I told you so, Miss Taylor Swift is correct." He said playfully.

"Now let's eat dinner and watch the really cute anime we found." He added as he sat you down.

Yes, karma really got them in the end but just like what Taylor Swift also sang about. Karma is your Boyfriend, and he truly will do anything to keep you happy. Even if he seems petty.

[sunnywalnut]

One thing I really hate about the "autism is my super power" archetype is that it REALLY makes me feel inadequate when people compare me to these guys.

Like Sheldon Cooper or the guy from The Good Doctor. They're all successful, cishet white men. They've been through college at a young age, and sure. I was gifted in certain classes. But in others? I couldn't concentrate. It was too loud. Or too many people. Or too bright. Or too whatever.

My "superpower" wasn't math or history. It was memorizing dog breeds and calling them out on the street. Or finishing two novels in one day.

But it wasn't recognized as a superpower.

It was "recognized" as me correcting people on the average lifespan of whatever dog I had at the time. Or the things that the breed usually liked versus what somebody else thought they did. Or me sneaking glimpses of my book during class, and reading underneath my desk. It was me ignoring my elementary teacher when she called us for rug time because I was finishing the chapter of my story and couldn't put it down as easily.

And sure. They encouraged my reading. And I've gotten into a couple advanced classes that I otherwise wouldn't have been in.

But in the others I was still struggling.

I had one thing going for me and that one thing wasn't enough to propel me five grades ahead like it "should have."

I was the smart kid. Because I could memorize formulas and definitions in science and math class. Everyone was in awe of my low A's and high B's. But I wasn't a prodigy.

Just because I could memorize things didn't mean it was easy to learn.

Learning was the hard part.

And that's what nobody got.

How could I be struggling, if all this time I was getting near perfect scores?

Even after my diagnosis. I never was allowed out of class to take tests. Even when allergy season hit and I bombed a test because the boy behind me was sniffling up a ruckus. I was told I could retake it. To study next time and do better.

I never really learned how to study.

Studying was overwhelming. So I didn't do it. Nobody cared.

After all. I was getting near perfect scores.

Homework took hours. Four of them, to be exact. I never knew why. It was always so much easier in class.

But now I know it was because I have ADHD. And I was burnt out.

So I barely had free time after school.

Except for art.

Art was always there for me. I could always take the time to do something. And it was easier to put down, even if it was incomplete. Because I knew I could go back to it. I didn't have to pull out and reconstruct everything again, like a puzzle. I could go right back to where I started. And that was wonderful.

So I became good at it.

I became great.

Everyone loved it. The praise, the encouragement, the delight was almost too much to bear. I learned to crave it.

And yet.

Everyone was still surprised.

When I told them I wanted to be an artist.

Because apparently.

Your "superpower" is only good if it makes you money.

And who would invest in art?

Instead of being a doctor?

The answer is me.

It's always me.

I'm the mediocre autistic person with a difficult niche.

I don't have a superpower. Or a college degree. Or baby pictures of me playing the violin.

But I'm autistic.

Isn't that enough?

Where are the people like me in the media?

I can go outside and find at least three different Neurodiverse people like me in my town. But nearly NONE in the media.

Why is that?

Do we not exist to you?

Or are we only tolerable when we've done something "productive"?

I don't have a superpower.

But that shouldn't make me less than.

I don't know why it does.

[renthony]

Hi! Could you talk about what it’s like being an independent media researcher and how you became one? Did you go to school for communications or media studies? How do you make money?

I’m about to graduate college and I really want to go into the media studies field but I haven’t really figured out what the best way for me to do that is. I have a lot of similar research interests as you (animation, censorship, media analysis, queer media) and I’m disabled so I’ve been worried about not having the energy for a traditional 9 to 5 sort of job, so I’d love to hear more about how you’re able to do the research you’re passionate about!

Honestly, I got here by accident, and I'm still figuring things out as I go. I don't make much money and right now I feel like my work is in a period of transition. I have plans, but some days it feels like I'm barely making baby steps.

I started writing when I was pretty young, and I read every single "how to write" guide I could get my hands on via the library or bookstore. I wrote constantly. Short stories, various false starts at baby's first novel, even newsletters for school activities and community clubs. I was most focused on fiction at first, but I learned a lot about nonfiction as well.

I got involved in online writing communities back when forums were still a big deal, and I joined Twitter back in 2009 when it was still new and there was a massive author and freelancer community. (Anyone else remember before retweets were a thing? We had to copy, paste, and manually type out "RT @[user]" like barbarians.) I learned an absolute fuckton about the craft and the industry by talking directly with other writers, literary agents, editors, and various other people in the field. From the time I was like 14, I was interacting with professional writers, sharing my work for feedback, and racking up rejection letters from magazines and literary agents (which was a badge of honor in the communities I was hanging out in, because it meant you were working hard and refusing to quit). When I was 17, my best friend even scraped together money from their shitty fast food job to pay for us to attend a major writing conference in Denver, where we participated in all kinds of classes and panels with industry professionals.

My mother was also writing at the time, and I got a lot of support from her. She had a blog that got a decent amount of interaction, because this was right around the rise of the Mommy Blogger and my mom wrote from the perspective of a socially-isolated tattooed punk mom who never planned to have kids (which was unusual in a landscape of perfect housewives with perfect photogenic babies with weirdly-spelled Mormon names they chose when they were kids). Eventually my mom started writing for a website owned by Yahoo, to supplement the household income while staying home to care for my little siblings. When I decided I wanted to take a whack at freelancing, she gave me a lot of advice on how to get started. I also had a writing class at school taught by a teacher who made it a class project to submit to magazines, so I basically got a head-start on freelance life. I wrote a lot of random articles for a website that's since gone defunct, and I submitted a lot of short stories to contests and magazines. Didn't really make a lot of money, but I learned a ton and got a lot of experience.

When I made it to college, I studied anthropology and French. I'd planned to study history, but switched my track after a single semester because anthropology suited me better. I took a lot of AP classes in high school and did well on all the standardized testing, so I managed to get a full academic scholarship and skip right past a few of my gen eds. Unfortunately for me, I had a lot of difficult life experiences during that time period, and I started to struggle in pretty much everything that wasn't directly related to my degree. I failed Latin so bad I didn't bother to go to the final exam, because even a perfect grade wouldn't have saved me. I fucked up my algebra grade beyond salvation. Those two classes alone tanked my GPA enough that I lost my academic scholarship, and I wound up dropping out entirely. Grades in my required courses were solid, but the scholarship requirements meant I had to do well across the board or lose my funding.

My mother still has debt from getting loans to pursue a master's degree, and I knew damn well I didn't want that kind of student debt piling up on me, so I opted for dropping out. Sometimes I regret it a little, but I honestly think it was the best option. I was having so much emotional upheaval on top of the academic stress that I needed time away to figure myself out. I graduated high school early, so I was like two years younger than everyone around me, and I didn't have many friends. I lived at home and came to campus just long enough to go to class, so I had nothing in common with my classmates who lived in dorms and participated in campus activities. I missed orientation because I registered late, the administration sent me to the transfer student registration day instead of the new student registration day, and I didn't get any "here's how you navigate university life" support. I didn't know I was supposed to have a one-on-one academic advisor for a year and a half, and when I finally met him, his only comment on the matter was, "wow, I wondered why you hadn't come to see me yet!" without any sort of inquiry into how a fuckup on that scale was allowed to happen in the first place. I wasn't set up for success by university administration, and I burnt out hard. I dropped out.

My wife encouraged me to do what was going to be best for me mentally instead of letting finances dictate my next step. She had a steady job, and even though we were still pretty broke, her support let me drop out of college and focus on recovery. A lot of people gave me shit because their perception was that I was dropping out of college to become "just a housewife," and they couldn't fathom why. From my perspective, I'd been given a lifeline.

I took care of our shitty little one-bedroom apartment. I read a lot of books and played a lot of Minecraft. When I felt up to it, I did some more freelancing. My wife was working unholy hours in a factory and we didn't get to spend much time together. I started doing tarot reading as a side hustle, and we started making vague plans to move somewhere better for us, but saving up was hard.

Things felt stagnant for a long time. I didn't write very much, I wasn't really doing anything related to my studies. I wrote when I had energy, and I kept scraping together extra cash doing tarot readings while my wife started working a new job in a lumber yard. Her support is the only reason I was able to recover and figure myself out, so big shout-out to my beloved working woman wifey. God, I love her.

Eventually we packed up and moved to a different state so we could be closer to my family. I got a job baking for a coffee shop. I wrote whenever I could. When I got laid off from the coffee shop, I realized there was no way in hell I could keep working a regular job without sacrificing my health, so I went back to writing full-time. (The Queen of Cups was written during this period.)

At some point I started getting back into anthropology and history research, just for fun. I didn't have money to finish my degree, but I had enough academic experience to know how to track down and evaluate good sources. I wasn't really trying to do anything for career purposes, I was just incredibly bored and wanted to study something again, so I got really, really into studying local history. Once I read everything I could about that, I jumped to another topic I was interested in, and then another. Media studies became my biggest focus as a natural outgrowth of my interests in speculative fiction, animation, and the history of the entertainment industry. I studied anthropology in school because I loved learning how and why humans do the things we do, and media studies always felt like an obvious facet of that. It's part of why I was always obsessed with cave paintings and paleolithic sculptures--people make art! It's what we do! It's what we've always done!

Anyway, I now live in a university town that has resources available to the public, and I have friends who work in various university libraries or as professors. I started making use of whatever I could get access to. I read a lot of nonfiction books from independent researchers pursuing their own passion projects, I got really into video essays on YouTube, and I had the epiphany that you don't actually have to finish college to study and write about things as long as you put in the quality research and source all your information. At some point I started calling it my "DIY academia," which my university-employed friends found utterly delightful.

Honestly, I credit my formal-academia friends with a lot. They've all been an incredible source of support and reassurance, and have helped me track down quite a few sources I was having trouble getting my hands on. Everyone do yourself a favor and make friends with someone who works in a university library.

I started a Patreon several years ago (in like 2017 I think?), primarily for my fiction writing, but there's plenty of other things that have shown up there over the years (art, cosplay, essays, etc.). As I started getting more into my DIY academia, folks started expressing interest in seeing me write about it. My tumblr posts about media generated a decent amount of attention, I'd managed to build up a platform, and it wasn't hard to say, "okay, screw it: I have freelance experience and I know how to write a paper, does anyone want to pay me for it?"

I haven't been submitting to existing publications like I used to, mostly because I don't have a decent portfolio assembled. My old freelance work in high school and college was for a platform that closed down a decade ago, and no matter how popular they get I can't bring myself to include tumblr posts alongside professional credits. My current plan is to build a portfolio on my website showing off the commissions I've been taking, and then start submitting to magazines and newspapers again between my other work. I'd love to eventually write for something like Polygon or IGN.

It's hard. I love research, I love writing, and I love sharing information with people, but having to DIY everything is really, really hard. I often feel like I'm just throwing nonsense into the void in the hope someone will like it and leave a tip in my Ko-Fi. I don't have formal academic credentials beyond "I was planning my senior thesis about the ethics of investigating ancient burial sites, but then I dropped out." I just have a neurodivergent brain, a handful of special interests, a wife who works the graveyard shift in a lab to pay our bills, and the ability to hyperfixate on research for absurd lengths of time.

The most common advice I used to get about freelancing is that you just have to keep throwing things at the wall to see what sticks. It's been years since then, but I think the advice still applies. Read a lot, learn a lot, and write about the things you're most interested in. Search around and look for magazines and newspapers and websites that accept unsolicited freelance submissions. Read the other articles they publish to see how your work stacks up. Submit, submit, submit. Rake in rejection letters and keep them as a reminder of how hard you're working. If you're up for it, start a Patreon to post the things you don't submit elsewhere. The worst thing that can happen is that people don't give you money, but maintaining it still helps you lay the groundwork for a portfolio and a reader base.

I deal with a lot of hellacious impostor syndrome. I worry a lot that I'm just a hack who doesn't actually know what they're talking about. Like I said, I got here totally by accident, but whatever I'm doing seems to be working for me. I'm broke, but my work is being read, and opportunities for more work show up when I least expect them. I'm not sure what's next for me, but I'm excited to figure it out. Money's tight, but I keep enduring despite the chaos. I throw things at the wall, I see what sticks, I clean up whatever flops and then try it again later. Wash, rinse, repeat.

It's hard, but so is everything else. I like it better than a lot of other things I could be doing.