#whose last name i dont even remember

[ooc-themis-cattails]

School is NOT fun if you are gifted. I don't know what kind of person thinks high school is "the best time of your life," but it's sure not gifted kids.

We were bored out of our minds in the same prison hell as the rest of you, and the only difference is that we were the ones who got beat up and had no allies. It was never the cool teachers that liked you, but the unpopular ones, the ones that everyone knew picked their nose and flung the boogers at the class (though you have never actually seen it happen yourself). They would come up to you in the cafeteria in front of everyone and act like you were their best buddy, and you would want to die and sink into the floor. The cool teachers liked the funny kids, not the smart kids. When you got praised by Mr. Yorty, you wanted to disappear.

Being called smart wasn't fun; that was the opening reassurance of parent-teacher conferences before they tore into you for being inattentive or absent-minded (to you the teachers are repeating old lessons you've heard before), "not a team player" (it's hard to assign partners outside your skill level), "time waster" (because you doodled on your worksheet when you finished early), and whatever other personal flaws you might happen to have. Everyone knew you were smart. Teachers pointed it out to you so often, it was like being told you're exceptionally short or tall-- you know, you know, it's meaningless. You're not eager to hear that or interested in hearing that. All you want is for the day to pass so you can go home. As for friends, you had a choice of like 3 people who were also smart and who you could trust not to be jealous of you. One of them is an asshole, and another one you can't stand to be around because their BO makes you ill. Maybe you and the remaining kid will be friends, if you're compatible and lucky. You might not even be the same gender. You'll be friends anyway, even if your parents aren't happy about it; you can't afford to be picky. Sometimes there'd be a new kid, but even if you spent the first day being their new friend, the next day they learned you were unpopular and turned against you and made fun of you. You learned not to make friends easily or trust anyone. It was pretty lonely and you never knew when everyone's fun game was going to be picking on you for the rest of the day.

Parent/teacher expectations scaled to their skill level. I don't know what non-gifted kids' parents expect of them. Mine wanted me to get on the highest honour roll (requiring all A's) because the fact that I was always on the honour roll (requiring one A and no less than a C) wasn't interesting or meaningful because it had always been true forever. If you don't have to work hard, then everyone expects you to work VERY hard, because they know you didn't work to be good, and yet they can't help seeing you as a hard worker because you're good. If your parents ever promise you a reward, they're not asking you for an A on the exam, they're asking for a 4.0 GPA. Do gifted kids have to work hard for that? Yes, we are not born knowing the exports of Urugay, and we don't like doing 50 math problems any more than you do. Did we get better jobs than you? We did not. We are all working call centers and retail and service jobs. The kids who grew up to have good jobs were the ones who were maybe a bit above average, had amazing social skills, and could make employers like them and believe in them.

is there a word for “i was instantly good at a lot of things as a quote-unquote gifted child, and, as a result, i was able to skate by without ever being taught how to actually learn a new skill, and now that i’m an adult trying to learn new things that i can’t be good at instantaneously, i don’t have the patience or knowledge to improve on them, because skills that don’t come naturally to me just make me angry because i lived off instant gratification my whole childhood due to not ever being challenged intellectually or taught basic learning skills?” asking for a friend

[with-my-calamitous-love]

I DONT LIKE ANYONE EXCEPT SOMETIMES YOU

shinso x reader

thoughts about how shinso would act in a relationship. same premise as the kirishima ver.

inspired by backburner

hitoshi shinso, who’s facetimes with you always run late into the night. you ramble on about your day while he hums in response, knowing that you know he’s not the talkative type. he never asks “how was your day?” he always says “tell me about your day.” because he really, truly wants to hear about your day. you could have cured a disease or simply just gotten out of bed, and he’d still want to hear every single detail simply because its from you.

hitoshi shinso, who loves to cook. only you're aware of it, because he doesn't always like sharing personal details with others, but you never complained- it just means more for you. you're always the first person that gets to try his food, though he claims you're not a very good critic. but you can't help it, everything he makes tastes so good. and with every compliment you shower him in, he'll hit you with a 'yeah, yeah, whatever.' and then next moment, make you more so you can always stay fed during long days at UA and long hours during hero-training. its his silent way of telling you he loves you.

hitoshi shinso, whose cats love you more than they love him. he has three triplets, a black british short hair, a siamese, and a grey ragdoll- pepper, lexi, and mustache- he absolutely hates the last name, but he had just adopted the kitten and you named it for its white streak right below its nose. he'll deny it forever, but he gets pouty and huffs in annoyance whenever he sees the cats run to you, even after he's fed and taken care of them for all of their lives. but he also cant deny the way his heart skips a beat whenever he seems them cuddled up with you on his bed, wearing one of his big t-shirts. it softens his heart in a way that nothing else does- your love fills his heart more strongly and more passionately than anything does.

hitoshi shinso, who is the closed-off, funny but quiet dickhead of his friend group. he's known for his out-of-pocket roasts at the right times and his nonchalant nature that contrasts with the loud, spunkiness of his multicolored-haired friends. but with you, he softens. the few times he's brought you along with him to movie night or training sessions, you've softened his heart enough for the love in him to seep out towards others as well. whenever you crack a joke, make someone else at the table smile, and draw laughs and happiness from their chests, a blush blooms across his cheeks. obviously, he fell for you, how could he not?

hitoshi shinso, who's favorite activity with you is your sunday-ritual. you'll wake up together, either in the same bed or over the phone, and bike down to the coast. you'll bug him about wearing a helmet, but he always complains that it ruins your hair. he'd never admit that its because he thinks you're absolutely adorable when you dote on him. afterwards he'll share a smoothie with you- he hates all the flavors except for mixed berry, which is the one he always insists on getting. he hates the the overpricing for what the product actually is, but loves the smile it puts on your face after a tiring bike-ride. and afterwards, you two will go back to either his of your place. his place if your parents aren't home, and his place when his parents are home, and binge watch a long t.v show of your choosing. he'll always complain that its stupid, poorly written or drawn out, but get pouty whenever you watch an episode without him. it's the one thing he looks forwards to at the end of a long week, drawn out with endless studies, training, and burnout. you're his safe place, and he needs it more than he'll admit.

hitoshi shinso, who somehow remembers every tiny detail about you. his mind works like gears, arranging formulas and deciphering codes, but the intellect of his mind makes you its priority. he remembers the way you pick your nails and cuticles when you have anxiety, and how placing his warm palm over yours soothes some of those thoughts. he remembers how prefer to tie your hair back during training but how you somehow always forget a hair tie- and he knows how you always give him a peck on his cheek once he shows off the one he's been keeping on his wrist for you. he remembers how you can't sleep without your nightly calls, and how he needs to hear your voice before he drifts of too- maybe more than you need it. he remembers the first day you met, the first thing he said to you, the first time he ever felt love for you. he remembers all of it and keeps it embedded in his heart. hitoshi shinso may seem like he hates everyone, but the one exception to that is you. and he'll remember that forever.

[sycamoregirlsworld]

Stockholm Syndrome- L. Castellan

part two!!!

down bad! luke x fem! reader

loser luke agenda

“baby look what you’ve done to me, baby you’ve got me tied down!” - one direction

lowkey want to make a pt. 2 idk

Why was he acting like this? Luke had never felt so jealous in his life. Jealousy wasn’t a feeling he had often. Sure, he was always slightly jealous of the kids with actual parents, but this was a different type of jealousy. It was the type of jealousy that made him want to scream into his pillow like a little kid.

And that was so weird for him! He was the counselor of the Hermes cabin. He had a scar on his face from fighting a dragon! Luke Castellan was cool, and he did not let things like girls get under his skin.

“You look like a creep.” Chris scoffed, shaking Luke out of his thoughts.

“I’m not even staring at her.” Luke frowned at his friend as he picked up his sword, deciding that maybe he should actually practice.

He was staring at her, though. But how could he not!? His best friend had impeccable fighting form, he always admired that.

That was why he was staring at (Y/n), nothing else. And he was not glaring at the boy she was sparring with and thinking about running his sword through him. Not at all.

“Y’know, I didn’t even mention her.” Chris raised his brows as he also picked up his sword. “You’ve gotta tell her how you feel, before someone else sweeps her up.”

“I dont love her, Chris.” Luke frowned as he swiped his sword at his friend. “At least not like that.”

But he couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably at Chris’s words. Someone else sweeping up (Y/n)? His (Y/n)? It had always been him and her. (Y/n) and Luke.

He felt gross being so possessive over her, but he didn’t have much in life.

Imagining (Y/n) being gone was….

That thought got him worked up, and he could feel his nonchalant exterior breaking.

He tried not to think about it, but when it came to (Y/n) he was very chalant.

Is that even a word? Doesn’t matter… Luke just knows he’s the opposite of nonchalant when it comes to her.

He tried to ignore it, he really did! She had been his bestfriend since he had gotten to camp, he didn’t want to ruin anything between them.

And sure, maybe it felt like a hellhound was ripping out his insides everytime another boy flirted with her. And yes, he did frequently dream about dropping to his knees in front of her and—

‘Stop it!’ Luke scolded himself as he blocked Chris’s attack. ‘Stop thinking of her like that..’

He couldn’t focus on the fight. The swinging and blocking of his sword was sloppy compared to his usual sharp technique. He just couldn’t pull his eyes away from (Y/n).

His jaw clenched as he watched her sword knock against the boy whose name he couldn’t even remember. Why was she even sparring with this loser? She easily had the upper hand, this boy wasn’t even good!

(Y/n) always said she liked sparring with Luke because of the challenge, their sparring was always playful and fun— but it was hard.

Their skills were equally matched, he was so much better then this random boy—

Luke’s thoughts were broken away as Chris disarmed Luke, backbiter falling to the ground with a thud.

Luke’s thoughts stilled for a moment as he stared at the ground with his jaw agape. How did he—Luke Castellan—get disarmed by Chris Rodriguez?

“She’s got you whipped.” Chris laughed as he looked over at (Y/n).

Right. That’s how’s he got beat.

“Whatever man.” Luke scoffed as he swiped her sword up and stormed away.

The quiet crackling of the fire and the loud singing from the Apollo cabin didn’t to much to lift (Y/n)’s mood. The entire day Luke had been ignoring her, and it was really pissing her off.

He was fine this morning! He had even given her his last bit of eggs during breakfast, but after that he hadn’t talked to her.

Was it because she had chosen Ben as her sparring partner instead of Luke? She guessed that could be the problem, but she didn’t know why he’d be mad!

And Ben had asked her to be his sparring partner, she would’ve felt bad if she said no.

Maybe she had also obliged his request to get her mind off of Luke.

Gods, being in love with your best friend was totally lame! She knew Aphrodite always had a plan, but if this was the Goddess’s idea of a good trope she needed to rethink her tastes.

Reading friends to lovers in a book? Totally fine— amazing even!

Experiencing it in real life? A cruel and unusual punishment.

But she couldn’t help falling for Luke, he was just so kind and funny and strong and he was such a pretty boy.

Like, screw Helen of Troy, try Luke of Connecticut!

But having those thoughts about your best friend was so uncomfortable, especially when you’re supposed to be sparring with him but instead you just want to pin him down and kiss him.

And this is where Ben enters. Ben was blonde, short, and skinny. He was wasn’t very smart nor was he a good fighter. The complete opposite of Luke!

(Y/n) thought that would’ve been good. If he was the complete opposite of Luke, then it would be impossible for her to think about the boy, right?

Wrong!

Turns out, it just made her pick apart everything that made him different from Luke.

Currently, she was sitting next to the blonde boy. It was rather uncomfortable as she could feel his body pressed too close to hers and she could see the seductive look he was sending her from the corner of her eyes.

Yuck.

She enjoyed his attention, sure. But it wasn’t his that she wanted.

It made her feel bad, to nitpick someone like this all because she was hopelessly down bad for her best friend.

But she also couldn’t really find it in her to care. She felt dirty, gross, and disloyal for spending her time with Ben.

It’s not like Luke and her were a thing, but she wasn’t the type to divide her adoration. If she liked someone, it would always be them.

And it had been Luke for awhile.

But she was tired of it now. Selfishly, she wanted affection. She wanted to be adored! And yeah, Luke showed her affection, but it was a ‘best friend’ type of affection.

So here she was, debating on if she should just leave the campfire early.

“What’re you thinking about?” Ben asked as he nudged his shoulder against hers.

‘Luke.’ Her mind immediately answered.

But she couldn’t say that to him, so instead she just answered, “Nothing.”

She could hear Ben hum in response, but she still wasn’t looking at him.

Instead, she was watching Luke from across the fire. The way the flames danced off his skin made him look well— hot!

She smiled shyly as she made eye contact with him and waved, to her luck he actually waved back. He looked like he was about to open his mouth to say something when she felt Ben’s hand grip her chin and turn her head towards him.

“You’re so beautiful..” He mumbled as he tilted her head up.

Her jaw clenched and her body went rigid. This was gross. His hands were smooth and sweaty…

Ben shifted even closer to her, his bony legs pressing up against hers.

“I used to think you and Castellan had something going on, y’know?” He smirked and got closer, “But I guess not.”

(Y/n) furrowed her brows at his words. Why was he bringing up another guy when he looked like he was about to kiss her? She found it weird and territorial, not to mention he was bringing up someone she’d rather be kissing…

(Y/n) could feel her stomach twist up in a gross anticipation, she could just tell by the way he was looking at her they he was about to lean in.

And she really didn’t want his lips on hers.

She pursed her lips as he closed his eyes, his sweaty hands snaking from her chin to her hair as he began to lean closer.

He was so close, she could feel his breath in her face and then—

“Hey.” A deep voice spoke up from next to them.

(Y/n) quickly pulled away and sighed in relief when she spotted Luke standing over them, his dark glare settled onto Ben.

The blonde haired boy looked pissed as he stared up at Luke. “Hey dude!” He smiled tensely. “What’re you uh- what are you doing?”

Ben was obviously trying to look and sound intimidating as he puffed out his chest and made his voice deeper. But as the Luke Castellan stood over them, his brown curls falling slightly in his eyes, Ben just looked so meek.

“I need to talk to my girl.” Luke shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal and pulled (Y/n) up.

She tried to ignore the fact that he called her his girl. He didn’t mean it, he just knew she was uncomfortable and was trying to get her away from Ben.

But she couldn’t ignore the way she felt when he said it. His words, mixed with the way he held her hand tightly, made her feel like she was about to throw up an entire colony of bees.

She smiled apologetically at Ben as she allowed Luke to pull her away, even though she couldn’t give two fucks.

“Where are we going?” (Y/n) asked curiously as she glanced around at their surroundings. The two had been walking for awhile, (Y/n) trailing after Luke like a lost puppy.

“You’ll see.” Luke’s words were short as he continued to drag her around.

The girl puffed out her cheeks and looked away. He was still mad at her, wasn’t he? She didn’t even know why he’d be mad, and that now was making her mad!

She tugged on his arm and stopped walking.

“Why are you so mad at me?” She frowned.

Luke turned around and raised his brow. “Mad at you?” He scoffed. “You think I’m mad at you?”

(Y/n) puffed out her cheeks as she held her arms up in an exasperated motion. Was he being serious?

“Well I dunno Luke!” Her voice came out high pitched as she jutted her hip out. “After sword practice tonight you ignore me when I come up to you, then you ignore me during arts and crafts, and you also ignored me during dinner!”

During her blow up, (Y/n) had gotten closer to Luke, staring up with him with narrowed eyes as she shoved her finger into his chest.

“I haven’t been ignoring you.” Luke scoffed as he caught her wrist. “I’ve just been—”

“Do you think I’m fucking stupid?” The girl frowned as she ripped her wrist away from his grasp. “You talked to me during breakfast but you’ve ignored me the rest of the day Luke, what did I do?”

The brown haired boy went silent at her words, a pang of guilt hitting his chest as he heard the distress in her voice.

“You didn’t do anything…” Luke sighed as he tugged on his camp necklace.

That was always his tell, whenever he was nervous he’d tug on it.

“Then why am I the victim of your anger?” (Y/n) groaned as she ran a hand through her hair. “You know I hate it when you do that—”

“I was jealous!” Luke blurted out. After a beat of silence, Luke processed what he had confessed and slapped his hand over his mouth.

“You…. were jealous?” (Y/n) tilted her head as she looked up at him.

Luke was acting strange… sure, the pair had many conversations about his jealousy towards children’s whose godly parents actually cared, but this was different.

This was… about her?

“Fuck it…” Luke groaned as he rubbed his hand over his face. “Yeah. I was jealous. You sparred with that blonde kid today and then Chris said something that really got under my skin.”

“What do you mean..?” (Y/n) took a step closer to him, laying a hand on his bicep in concern.

“This is so unlike me— y’know I never let things like this get under my skin, but when it comes to you?” Luke breathed out as he hesitatingly cupped her face with his hands. “You get me so worked up.”

“When I’m with you, all I want to do is kiss you, and worship the ground you walk on, and do all this other shit to you because I just— I love you!” Luke continued with his rant, not giving (Y/n) any time to reply. “And it takes all my self restraint and then some to not do it!”

“Y-you love me?” (Y/n) stammers as she grabbed the hand that Luke was holding her face with.

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She needed someone to pinch her, because this couldn’t be real!

Luke Castellan—her Luke Castellan—who she never thought she had a chance with, wanted her too??

“So, so, much.” Luke chewed on his bottom lip as he stared down at her. “And when I saw that loser trying to kiss you tonight— I wanted to get violent!”

This elicited a small giggle out of (Y/n). It was gross when Ben was territorial, but it felt right when Luke was.

With Ben it seemed like he was trying to prove he was the man. But Luke was the man. He was the man of her dreams, to be more exact.

“Well— I love you too..” (Y/n) smiled shyly as she looked down at her feet. Her cheeks were flushed and the feeling of Luke’s rough hand against her cheek didn’t help the butterflies that swirled around her stomach.

Luke nudged her chin up and smiled as he met her eyes. (Y/n) always thought he looked good, but something about seeing him after he had confessed his love to her just made him look even better.

“Hey, promise me something?” He requested as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Only ever be my sparring partner?”

“Is this your lame way of asking me to be your girlfriend?” Her nose scrunched up in amusement, but she couldn’t stop the fuzzy feeling that surrounded her.

Luke glanced away with flushed cheeks. “Just say yes or no.” He grumbled.

(Y/n)’s eyes twinkled with mischief as she tugged Luke down to her level, their noses brushing as she smiled.

“Yes, of course I will.”

Luke surged forward and pressed his lips against hers in a frenzy, (Y/n) kissing back just as feverishly.

Finally, after years of stupid yearning they were getting to feel each others lips.

(Y/n) quickly had her hands tangled through Luke’s hair, needing something to support herself as he continued his merciless attack against her lips.

Luke gripped her hips tightly with a quiet moan, his fingers sinking into the stiff denim of her shorts as he attempted to pull her closer.

(Y/n) pulled away with flushed cheeks, stumbling slightly as she was tugged forward.

“Everyone should still be at the campfire…” She trailed off as she looked away shyly, hoping Luke would catch her drift.

Luke smirked in response and pulled her into another chaste kiss.

“I like the way you think.”

[sturniolo04]

can u do smth similar to ur last fic but with matt where one of his surprises is hard launching a relationship ? :p

A/n:  ofc! i put a little spin to it! I absolutely love these requests I have coming in, you guys are amazing!! I hope you love it! And remember to leave requests in my inbox! If you don’t like the pre added name in my works you can simply put in your own or don’t read it, it up to you :)-Charli

dividers: @issysh3ll

You would think that you and triplets being childhood best friend that Nick and Chris would have seen this coming. Tonight was the night of the Boston surprise party tour show and matt and you were about hard launch your relationship. It worked out perfectly because it was in their hometown and you guys knew everyone close you guys would be there.

"okay hi boston"

nick exclaims into the microphone as the crowd screams in response to him. Nick put his hand over his chest at the overwhelming love he was feeling from everyone in that moment.

"its really good to be back in Boston I got to say"

chris sighs out into the mic as matt and nick agree with him.

"boston is literally our happy place"

matt adds on as the crownd continues scream in excitement.

"yeah well with that being said lets reveal whose surprise is being unvield for tonight"

nick screams excited and nervous at the same time. Everyone directed their attention to the now counting down screen.

'5'

'4'

'3'

'2'

'1'

The screen revealed that tonight it was Matt's first solo surprise getting released. the crowd went wild when they realized they were finally getting a solo reveal from matt the first time on this tour.

"oh wow matt what do you have up your sleeve"

chris chuckles out as he and ick begin to make there way over to the 'reaction couch.'

"you will find out soon enough i promise but first the hint"

matt chuckles out. Matt pulled out a custom baby blue claw clip with his name on it in scripted letters. Chris and Nick were purely confused as to what this means.

"what in the world"

nick laughs out completely dumbfounded by this hint.

"okay wait before anyone makes a guess i want to say that I am revealing this surprise a little differently than we have been revealing our surprises if you have been following our shows we have done prior to this one"

matt announces to both his brothers and the crowd.

"im nervous and i normally dont get nervous"

chris chuckles out putting his hand on his chest feeling his heart beat.

"guesses brothers"

matt chuckles watching his brother contemplate the meaning of the random claw clip.

"i honestly dont even fucking know chat what do we think"

nick jokes out addressing the crowd as they scream out a couple of ideas. Eventually both chris and nick had opte3d out of the guessing portion and immediately decided to just have matt reveal the surprise. here goes nothing.

The screen pops up this picture which was picture you and matt had taken the first day you started dating.

"mattt"

chris drags out with his jaw drop.

"thats zoey what are you trying to say"

nick gasps out having a slight idea of what the surprise is now but waiting for matt to confirm it instead. Matt chuckles as he cues for you to walk out on stage to join them. The crowd went wild when you walked out onto the stage clutching the microphone in your hands.

"hi guys"

you giggle out greet everyone including nick and chris giving them both a hug. you sit down on the other couch with matt as he wraps his arms over your shoulder.

"so did you guys figure it out"

matt chuckles.

"i mean i think we did dude but I"

chris chuckles out happy for his brother but had no idea if he and nick were being pranked. Matt rolls his eyes at the uncertainty in his brother voice quickly grabbing your gently by the neck to connect your guys lips in a sweet kiss. the crowd screamed at the pair. You couldn't help but giggle into the kiss.

" oh my god how long has this been a thing"

nick gasps out covering his mouth in pure shock.

"we kept this a secret from everyone for 3 months I think"

you giggle out into the mic and looking at matt and then the crowd.

"unbelievable"

chris chuckles out shaking his head slightly.

"but weirdly enough this makes sense we have known each other for like ever"

nick states and you lett out couple giggles into the mic.

"yeah so mom you got a daughter now"

matt exclaims as they all look to where their parents were sitting In the crowd waving to them.

Tagslist🗂️

@mintsturniolo @spicymuffins03 @dirtylittleheart333

@stayingstromboli @wh0resstuff @ksturnz @chaoswithus @emely9274 @ivysturnss @sturniolo-szn2 @lezleeferguson-120 @courta13 @chrepsi @lyingonchris

@tezzzzzzzz @babytomatoes21 @zenithsturniolo

[omegalomania]

face in my hands. listen to me. no just. just listen. like. i think on the whole fandom tends to heavily mythologize what certain songs are "about" despite this never being solidly confirmed to be the case and fob (pete in particular) generally try not to say without question What Songs Are About because they want people to take whatever meaning they can from it. but from now on we are enemies is one of the exceptions to this rule to a very limited extent and by that i mean that on two separate occasions, during the hiatus, patrick and pete shared a little bit of what the song was about on twitter, independent of one another.

if you haven't seen the film amadeus it's about a rivalry between two historical composers, wolfgang amadeus mozart and antonio salieri. salieri loathes mozart and finds him supremely childish and annoying...but also irritatingly brilliant beyond words. salieri obsesses over wanting to see mozart fail and even plans on killing him, but they do eventually form a friendship. then mozart gets sick and dies. salieri essentially breaks and loses his mind and years down the line will claim that he murdered him.

the name of the song, "from now on we are enemies," is a direct quote from the film. but it's not talking about mozart. it's a furious diatribe that salieri flings at god himself. he's so wildly and deliriously envious of mozart that he feels like this is divine punishment and so he declares god his mortal enemy for bestowing mozart with such brilliance. from now on we are enemies, you and i.

this is, i should note, one of the last songs fall out boy wrote before the hiatus. this and "alpha dog" were considered "new" for the believers never die greatest hits compendium, but alpha dog was technically debuted before folie released, on the welcome to the new administration mixtape. then fall out boy went on hiatus and there was no guarantee of return.

like i dont know what to say about this song that hasnt already been said. its fucking deranged as all get out ill tell you that much. its fucking unhinged that this song, this song with this central thesis statement, is one of the last songs you wrote together as a band before going your separate ways without any guarantee that you would reform again. and it's THIS. IT'S THIS SONG. a song that laments about whether anyone will remember you when you're gone (reminds me of flu game, reminds me of so much (for) stardust the title track, reminds me of .... so many of the themes inherent to their eighth studio album. actually.), and a song that practically lays out its inspiration for all to see. for a band that seldom if ever discloses with actual intent the Meaning behind their songs, this is a song that discusses a HIGHLY FRAUGHT ARTISTIC RELATIONSHIP and it's hard, it's real damn hard, to see anything but what is clearly all on display. composer but never composed (patrick has always considered himself a composer first and foremost). singing the symphonies of the overdosed (pete played a song that was named after the drug he tried to overdose on with his band mere nights earlier). i'm just a man on a balcony singing no one will ever remember me (again there's the fear and dread about the legacy you leave behind just before the band goes their separate ways).

can't fucking lay out the sheer psychological damage this does to my soul just thinking about this. they played MISS MISSING YOU the night before. just, you know, one of the other Songs that's so hard to disentangle from the hiatus because of the way it was written (patrick wrote the music while making soul punk, felt like it wasn't for him, and set it aside...despite there being, again, NO guarantee that the band would ever reform at this point, and then the song was only completed once fall out boy decided to come back, with joe and andy adding instrumentation and pete adding the lyrics) and whose music video features patrick and pete literally KILLING EACH OTHER. from now on we are enemies. i need to walk into the ocean. i need to lie down. im inconsolable.

[mondaymelon]

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! gifts ensue.

he really went. blep. hi user @ilyuu. im proud of this one so congrats wanderer takes home first gift wooo

lmao id like to apologise in advance as this was brought on because of me but I got super burnt out drawing like 20 of these over the course of 2 days... if you see the quality of the drawings declining ( which you will ) please don't mind it!! thank you.

@anonbinaryweirdo. sigh. i get whiplash whenever you're super nice and then in the span of the next three seconds immediately do something vile

@soleillunne. we don't talk much but from what I know you are such a sweet person omg !! and your works??? dies inside (in a good way). the way you write xiao maks me so. puddle like

@realkavehgf. we agree on one things (amongst others) and that is that kaveh is. kAVEH IS. MALFUNCTIONS PERISHES.

@emphasisondrvgs. you scare me. please take your ranpo and quietly see yourself out LMAO /j

@pjsk-writin. AMIMI ONE OF MY FIRST EVER MOOTS !!! im so proud of mikoto. sighs. straitjackets are smth else to draw .. BUT HES SO. MMMMMM !!!!

@circyexistforcontent AAAHHH HI PRECIOUS. I LIKE YOU BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE DILUC SO. TAKE THIS... quietly throws up

@whats-it-mean. puka puka. head empty. puka puka. please stop your affairs with my mother.

@falors. UGLY SOBS. UGLY CRIES. I LOVE YOU /P SM. WAAHHHH TEARS TEARS TEARS you are the most talented person ever I S T G gRAAAHHH YOU BETTER GET 18412409128410948 FOLLOWERS THIS YEAR OR I WILL RIOT. mwah.

@dustofthedailylife. omg. hi dust... tbh ive been so concerned for you recently with how much life is running you over with a pickup truck so wishing for your improved health soon !! alhaith is a smort guy what can I say

@the-white-void. DEAREST. literally one of the first people I ever interacted with on this platform and you're actually. like. literally one of the sweetest people I have ever met. KLEE IS SUCH A CUTIE FJSFJDK

@kaeffeinee. OMG. m..my kitten- woah WHO just said that. wild shit right there. have something you don't like?? have something that's been pestering you for far too long?? no worries. its the official nag seal of mendokusai !!!!

@lillonvia. sobs. I didn't do the man justice.loud sobs. DFSDDSF YOUR ART MAKES ME WANT TO LIKE DISENTAGRAT INTO GLOWING BALLS oF FUZZ AND FLOAT INTO THE HEAVENS I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT. WE ARE SO DELULU oVER XIAO. FOAMS AT THE MOUTH

@absolutelyobsessedkiya. HELP WHY IS MINORI SO BRIGHT.... she's literally shining what. we need to talk more pspsspsp I just now found out that you're a fan of milgram!! remember like last year I was all 'whose that pretty pink person on their pfp??' AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW THATS ITS MUU RAHHHH

@auroratumbles. meow. cat. what a sweetie. I don't even know what my art style is doing here anymore Istg what even. what even BYE LETS TALK ABOUT XIAO LATER !!

@papiliotao. mwah. a kith for you. mWAH. ANOTHER KITH. SJFKSDJFLS GRAHHH YOU ARE THE SW E. E T E ST AND YOUR THE SWEETEST AND YOUR CAT IS THE SWEETEST AND YOUR VOICE IS MAKING ME WANT TO ELEVATE INTO THE CLOUDS AND YOURE SO SILLY EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT LIKE AKITIO SHINONOME

@yinyinggie. hihihi ying !! it honestly amazes me how you're able to juggle so many events and servers at once. im actually in awe. always look at xiao he's so emo and short

@solxima. GRAHHH HI. I DONT LIKE HOW JINGYUAN LOOKS IN THIS BUT. DLJFLSDJ DIES> I CANT DO THIS AN Y M O RE. your honor. hes so cat coded hes so cat coded he's so PERISHS

@yelshin. WAIIIIT NO YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF> iM SORRY. I don't know why he looks... so r e g a l in this but its definitely giving off oRAtRice MecAnIquE DAnAlySe CARdiNAle .

@vennnnn-diagram. LOUD SCREAMING N O . YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF TOOOODJSKFLSD JGAIJFAD JKLJFD:LFS. anyways. I need to see nahida smiling more she deserves everything and then some. aranaras are so silly giggles

@lume-nosity. I hold the slightest bit of guilt for putting your angsty ish drawing right next to happy lil nahida buT AHAHAH IT MAKES IT HURT MORE IG. took some inspo from your blog title... mwah ily lume. I WAS SO SCARED TO TALK TO YOU AT FIRST WHEN I SENT YOU THAT MOOT ASK BUT I AM EVER SO HAPPY THAT I DID !!!

th end. im actually so dead lmao my fingers actually were starting to bleed afklsdjfaskdjfklsdjflkasdjflksjflkjowejtoij enjoy your Christmas gifts mooties !! if anyone asks why I haven't been posting fics as promised. this is why. ill be in a coffin for a while please let my soul rest

OH AND FORGOT TO MENTION I DREW THESE BASD ON THE MOOTIES THAT COMMNTED ON MY THINGY LIKE LAST WEEK WHICH ASKED WHICH CHARACTER THY WANTD I LOVE YOU ALL PSPS I PROMIS

[fictionfixations]

damn that turn in like the animation of when you get an id for the first time, thats really really cool

like wooah look how menacing

looks cool

would have to see his kit because hm the killing allies thing does concern me

i mean i know like his fell bullet ego also did the same and i think upon killing allies would do even more damage? i dont entirely know how it works but at least you usually probably only use it like once, not have like an id that can do that a whole bunch more

i mean people can probably build teams around it like oh having a few ids in as fodder that youre gonna have him kill intentionally but i have no idea how thats set up.

actually question, do passives still work if the id died? i cant remember 💀

very curious how his kit is and how people'll utilize him

i also dearly await the fell bullet yi sang vs gubo solo stuff (or i wonder if maybe itd be more like there are other ids but with the expectation of him killing them and they dont do anything else except defense skills 🤷)

also i

cant get over how this dropped like 40?? something seconds away from the new alien stage video dropping so im just watching the countdown youtube automatically gives to videos being premiered, get a ping,

realize its a new limbus company thing and im just sat here like NOO (cause i wanna watch it but i was taking a long while to think and it reached 20 seconds...)

??? DO I GO WATCH IT and i look at how long the video is and realize wait shit i cant watch it in time and then quickly go back to alnst before the countdown ends

and now im just. like a mess of emotions after the rollercoaster that video was oh my god so my mind is kind of in disarray as i watch his video

fell bullet yi sang i will give you the appreciation you deserve i swear (i wanna read your uptie story 👀 though im actually gonna save now)

but my hyperfixations are clashing and one is story (...and i. i think it was the last video???? IT SURE SEEMED LIKE IT) and the other just an animation showcase so uh yeah.

youre not dropping the same time as alnst when dropping your kit though so youll be fine and i shall eat that up 👍 (well, i read stuff, but that doesnt mean i fully understand, so i shall watch the funny cube man read it and explain it to me)

and also anything else updating is in july so youre fine

also wait i forgot but what happened to wei yi sang 💀

.........i mean i guess we've never seen him fight?? maybe thats why??

or is he dropping too in the next intervallo???

i wonder.

also i dont know shit about the story of fell bullet, i remember i think in one of the refraction railways that guy was the boss but do i know anything about it? uh no

so im curious, cause people called this gubo yi sang because gubo had this ego gear, but would that mean yi sang's uptie story would be about like if he either took the place of gubo or was working with gubo or something something like that, or like him in the shoes of the boss whose name i cannot remember

the dialogue makes me think its probably more on the thing(? person?? i have no idea) fell bullet is based on but im still hella curious

[lashiitailss]

Billy Loomis ✧˚ · .

TW ⚠️ : Blood, knife, cursing, betrayal..?

My opinion!!!

“billy..?” You called out from the living room as you just came back from work.

No response.

You then walked into the kitchen to see blood splattered all over the kitchen tile floor You then begin to panic as your brain wondered about who may the blood belong to. as you were thinking you got a call from an unknown number…

“Hello..?” you said as you picked up the phone. “Hello….” said a dark raspy voice from the other end. “who is this?” you asked as u locked your doors and windows. “Thats not important Right now… [Name]”

You then froze. How did they know your name? you then hung up the phone and started searching the house looking for billy and you still wondered whose blood was on your floor. u then went up to You and billy’s shared room and locked the door and shut the window blinds.

You then started to hyperventilate as you thought a killer was in your house. your phone then rang again. you stared at it as it was your mother calling… but… she died two years ago. you then shakily held the phone up to your ear as you answered it.

“Hello..?” you said slowly. “Darling, who told you to lock the doors?” the Dark voice said.

“w-what… i dont know what your talking about.” you said as you wondered as how he knew the doors were locked. “oh come on.. [Name] dont play stupid you know you locked the doors.”

You then stayed silent as the voice on the other end spoke again. “Check the cameras.” he said. “w-wha..?” you hastily asked. “Check the fucking cameras.” he said in a a more darkish tone. You then went to your desktop and typed into your computer and signed into your cameras and seen a someone with a dark gown and a white saddish..? mask thats frowning and they were holding a knife while holding a phone up to their ear.

“Im coming in.” after that last sentence he hung up and all of a sudden the cameras went blank as he heard the front door being broken down. you panicked and put your dresser towards the door and put your desktop by the window. you then remembered u had a bat in the closet.

You went into the closet and got the bat and stood by the bed clenching onto the bat for dear life. you heard things being knocked over down stairs and u heard glass breaking.

You then heard loud clacking boots walking up the steps as it was going through the doors and rummaging through stuff around the rooms but they then stopped at your door. all of a sudden it was quiet as nothing could be heard but only crickets.

That silence was soon interrupted by a phone ringing, then a loud banging on the door. you then screamed, they called your phone and knew where u were, even though the dresser was blocking the door it was slowly moving and he was going to get in.

You then stood in place and decided to wait for him to come and so you could face him and maybe even kill him.

The dresser then knocked over and onto the floor as the ground shaked a little. the door then boomed wide open and there u saw them. The ghost face looking man.

He then looked at you and just stood there until u screamed “BRING IT ON MOTHER FUCKER” he thought u were tough.. But not tougher then him. He then charged at you as you swung the bat as hard as u can but he dodged it. he then held his knife up and swung but he also missed aswell.

The two of you were breaking and knocking things down until you both got a hit in… he stabbed you on the side of your stomach while you hit him with the bat in his leg making him fall to the ground and you dropping the bat as the knife was still in your stomach.

You then started to feel all types of pain you never felt before. you felt woozy and dizzy and your nerves couldn’t seem to get together or focus on anything. Your head was pounding and your ears were ringing.

you then pulled the knife out of your flesh as your blood was on the knife and blood was pooling out of your fresh wound. you then put your hands over it to try and stop the bleeding. your eyes then become blurry as you see… two ghostfaces? were u going insane?

You then hear a rough and shrill voice coming from the other masked man, so you werent going crazy. “Damnnit ___ I told you not fucking touch her!” you couldnt quite get the name that the other ghostfaced man said due to your ears ringing. Great. u didnt get the name. you then closed your eyes for brief moments and then u seen billy come up to you. “[Name] look at me, c’mon look at me.” you then avert your eyes to look around the room and see the other ghostface man gone and see stu in the back on the phone with the police panicked?? “oh hello billy… how…how are you..?”

You then looked at him and asked with a smile, he then looked at you confused wondering if you were drunk or if u lost a few of your brain cells. “The Ambulance are on their way.” he said as he looked down at your bleeding wound and then his eyes went dark as his jaw clung together, u heard him clicking his tongue as his face then softed when he looked back at you.

He then wrapped your wound with a towel and picked u up and placed you in bed to wait for the ambulance. “just rest here sweetheart, ill be back.. okay?”

you then smiled and nodded as u turned ur head away. he then went over to stu who was outside of the door by the stairs.

you could still hear them. “you fucking idiot i never said to hurt HER!” billy said as his voice went rasp as he sounded a bit angry. “i thought you said Tatum AND [Name]!!” stu had said. “why the fuck would i say that?!?!”

billy aruged back, “Listen man, i dont know but tatum whacked me in the head with a whine bottle and got away” Billy sighed as he went downstairs with stu.

Billy and stu were killers..?

You then woke up in a hospital bed, you then sat up and winced as last night flashed in your head and u looked at your wound and seen that they patched you up with bandages but there was blood on the bandages it was okay still.

You looked around and saw no one, you then picked up your phone from your bedside table where there was flowers and a water bottle and a small little note on the table.

“ill be back to check up on you when you wake up if you need anything please feel free to ring the bell” - nurse

aw how thoughtful. but however the bell was all the way over to the other side of the room.

you then decided to play a small game on your phone to pass up the time but all of a sudden the lights begin to flicker and they went off. “what the hell?” you said as u sat up and turned to look through the window.

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me, even at the hospital?”

The door then swung open which caused u to jump and there he was, the ghost face man. it was either stu, or billy- “you should really watch that pretty little mouth of yours” he then shut the door and came closer to you.

you know that voice…

he then took off the mask, and it was billy.

“B-Billy..?”

“heyy…sweet girl, how ya holding up?” he asked warmly as he sat on the side of the bed.

you then looked away from him and backed up a bit in your bed. “y..you tried to kill me..”

you mumbled wanting to see his response.

“That was stu.” he said bluntly as his smile faltered. you then frowned as he put his hand underneath your chin so u could look up at him. “i would never try to hurt you on purpose, i love you.” he said as his gaze softened.

“i..i love you to”

Thank You for reading!! ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

[diamondoffaith]

Cielomort's Death (Aozora no Memory Theory)

ah shit here we go again

Full English translation, Ever Red theory (must read to understand this post)

Last updated: Dec 8 2023

Multiple things point to something happening to Ciel in the past. The lyrics, the MV itself, and his own name. This death could be (at least one of) Hallritt's mistakes in the 1st timeline.

LYRICS

In Ever Red, fruits are what represented memories for Red Bouquet. For Blue Bouquet, it would be clouds.

Cotton clouds in the blue skies are cut out

Unwanted memories are cut out from the mind

All I want is your sky to stay blue

All I want is you to stay pure (and not remember his death)

The members describing something "unexplainable." Louter and Willmesh could be talking about tears. Hold your (bitter) tears in and let it go. Perhaps their memories of Cielomort got erased after his death.

MV

There were a lot of imagery of doves and balloons. Balloons represent freedom, letting it fly to the sky has a sense of letting it go; setting it free. Letting Cielomort go.

There's also a shot of one of the strawberry gems dissolving. The filter makes it hard to tell whose it is, but it's most likely Cielomort considering the other signs.

It could also be Myunna since the filter is yellow but I have nothing to add to that. He's my son and I dont want anything happening to him

How Ciel died isn't known, but one transition shows blue paint (blood?) coming out around his collarbone or chest. Two other shots before it show him with his head below his chest, which could slightly imply beheading.

And finally, do you know what Cielomort means in French?

Here, your heart seems lonely Here, if you feel like crying Softly weep and let them flow to the sky I'll turn them to the blue sky

I went with the blowing wind Even if that cloud never returns I want to believe in the future Just as we met

[randomfrigginwords]

As somone who just read the novel last week whilst travelling (because I was getting annoyed with a few aspects of the show so wanted clarification on a few things) and after having just finished watching this weeks ep, all I can say is this.... Why did they change *SO MUCH OF IT*!?! YOU MADE IT WORSE!!! NOW I'M *MORE* ANNOYED!!!!! *screams into the void* 😐😅 About 80% of my annotations are just "Why did they change this?!" "This would have been so much sweeter/funnier" etc 😆

My one praise for the show so far is that even with the changes they made, they have cast perfectly for it. When I was reading it I was like "Mark, Ohm & Poon (specifically) were made for these roles"

Changes/Novel Spoilers/Things that annoyed me about said changes are below the cut because I need to rant to *someone* about it ✂️😂

Gonna put everything in dot points because its easier. But it's not necessarily gonna be in order, just the order in which I remember things, so yeah 🤷‍♀️😅

I forget the plots of books SO FAST because I have/do read so much, and only tend to remember things that *really* annoyed me. So there *may* be more things that are different but they obviously didn't annoy me enough to remember them 😬😅

●My main complaint about the show is that Sants mum leaving him and *everything* revolving around her doing so, is near on NON-EXISTENT in the book! - So far the only thing that remotely links her back to the book is her name that she used to watch Sants streams. Sants biggest stream donator in the book is called Even (similar to E-Wen) but we never actually met them. They are there. They disappear for a bit when drama goes down, then they return. But we never actually meet them. -- So in saying that, we dont have to deal with all this "she's your mum, you should still love her even though she abandoned you and didn't return when things went wrong" redemption arc BS 😐

● Sant & Jays 'first date' is an ACTUAL blind date that they're set up on by a friend, not a result of a job that Sant does. The date itself is good, I loved it. Sant ghosting Jay for 2yrs still does happen but for ✨️reasons✨️

● Yada is essentially 2 characters from the book merged together. She is Ming, Jays bestie and fellow dental student, merged with a character who *is* called Yada. She is still Guggs love interest, and does go to the same uni but she doesn't study dentistry, she's also a famous Tiktoker that Gugg has admired for a while (we also never find out her sexuality. So this whole 'breaking up with her gf' BS doesn't happen either.)

● Jay isn't Sants dentist at the clinic, Ming is. Jay just inserted himself as Mings assistant the first time Sant was there (he had no patients himself & recognised Sant from their blind date, Sants face was covered and had no clue who it was) and then proceeded to continue doing so if he was ever available. -- Sant bailing on one of Mings appointments is actually a big turning point in the novel too.

● Captain is actually a big part of the novel compared to the show - Sant working for Captain and him being a potential love interest for Sant is still very much a thing but it is done *SO MUCH BETTER* in the novel and is actually kinda the catalyst for everything that happens.

● In saying that, Captain is much less of an idiot in the show, which I'm grateful for lol

>> Things that have yet to happen/be confirmed in the show <<

● I'm really hoping that the mysterious 'Jeng' (whose container of stuff that Jay was staring at in Ep2) is the shows version of Gus. If they stick more towards the book it helps explain the initial animosity between Captain & Jay alot better. -- I forget exactly what Gus wanted to be, I wanna say an idol, but he moves away to do so and he's also their ex-bf... you read that right *THEIR ex-bf* 😬 Gus was Jays bf first. Then Captains. Then neither of theirs. --- I don't know how they'd work it into the show though since the 'drama' between Captain & Jay and Captain trying to hit on Sant has kinda already been dealth with.... but we shall see. 🤷‍♀️

But yeah.................

Ok.... that's all I can remember right now.... rant over.... bye 👋 😂

[sp3ncerr31dsw1f3]

i love you

an: lol my first ever fanfic lmfao pls dont bully me and I'm sorry I'm making so many changes after proof reading (song: i love you by billie eilish)

warnings: mentions of blood, death and stabbing, i think that's it pls lemme know if i missed any!

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader

genre: angst with happy ending, fluff

It was like any other case. I do my part and the others do theirs. Or so I thought. I was hurt almost a month back from a stab wound to the side when I should've been paying attention. Spencer was on the way to warn me, but it was too late. I was laying in a pool of my own blood. I heard Spencer's name in an echo. I could't respond, on the verge of death. If he hadn't come in time, I probably would've been dead. Spencer and I had an argument before us coming on this case because today wasn't actually the day I was supposed to return. I actaually had one and a half weeks left, but of course, boy genius found out. We bickered about, but I ended up coming anyway and he didn't say a word to me the whole flight here, nor did he look at me.

Right now, we're on another life risking case. Trying to find a little girl and the man somewhere in the house hiding with her. Spencer along side of me, closer than he'd usually be before I got stabbed. He's trying to prevent what happened last time from happening again. I appreciate that, but if he ever got hurt, or worse, killed because of me being unattentive of my surroundings, I'd never be able to forgive myself. I shake off the thought when I hear a muffled scream and a man yelling 'shut up'. Instinctivley, Spencer moves in front of me. I hold my gun a bit to my waist, again, not the best idea. "Come out!", Spencer yells. "We're the FBI!", he yells out once again, turning towards me and nodding his head to where the sounds were coming from. I was thrown off by the fact that he didn't even look at me when he turned my way. He looked a bit past me, which kind of made me upset. I stand by the door with my back towards the wall as he kicks in the door. The man suddenly lets go of the small girl and charged towards Spencer and in that moment I froze. My fault. If he dies, It's all my fault. The man punched Spencer twice before I point my gun towards the man, but as I did, he saw me and immediately started charging toward me. Out of shock, remembering what happened to me last time, I drop. The man hovering me. I close my eyes tight, while he has a knife to my throat.

Once again, I hear Spencer's name, but loud and clear this time. My eyes shoot open and I use my free hand, which is close to the knife on my thigh and reach for it. I quickly stab the man in his leg repeatedly until he's off of me. Spencer immediately rushes over to the man and puts him in cuffs. He then comes over to me whose catching my breath that I held in and from the man's weight. "Are you okay?", he asks worriedly, scanning my body. I nod and point to where the little girl is, signaling him to help her first. I get up feeling a familiar pain where I was stabbed. I lift up my shirt only to see the stitching being opened. I pull it back down when I see Spencer carrying the little girl in his arms. I rush over to her. "Are you okay, sweet girl?", I ask the small girl. She nods and starts to cry. I tell Spencer to take her to Emily and I'll be there in a bit. Right after Spencer settles the girl with Emily, he immediately comes back to me with a worried expression. "Y/N...are you okay?", he asks coming closer. "It hurts, Spencer.", I say with tears in my eyes. I was talking both about the argument and the wound. I couldn't stand being on bad terms with Spencer. He was the love of my life, though he doesn't know that.

"What hurts, Y/N?", he asked, scanning my face, noticing I'm in both mental and physical pain. He then scans my body and spots the blood on the side of my shirt. "Oh God, did he do that?", he asked, his voice shaking. "Why didn't you just listen to your doctor and stay back?", he looks at me while holding the wound as it continuously bled. My legs are wobbling, not just from the pain, but the mental exaustion. He was right. I should've listened. I am not mentally nor physically ready yet. We get to the ambulance that was already outside. "Please help her.", Spencer says desperately to the medic. I get into the back of the second ambulance as Spencer informs the team what happened. I saw him open the back of the ambulance with me. "Hey, angel. We're gonna get you help, okay?", he says, wiping the tears off of my face. The exaustion soon took over and I passed out. I soon wake up in the hospital bed. The wound feeling a bit better. They restitched it. I turn to my side to see Spencer fast asleep with his head resting on the side of the bed. I weakly place my hands in his hair, which made him stir and slowly open his eyes.

"Hi, sweet girl. They brought you food.", he says. "Hi, Spence. You can have the jello", I smile at him. "Really?, Thank you.", he says exictedly, but he has tears in his eyes. "Angel?", he says. I hum in response. "Please, please listen to your doctor." he says pleadingly. "They're mostly always right.", he says holding his hand in mine. I smile and chuckle. "Yeah, I know.", I say reffering to him. He laughs along, but says in a trying to be serious tone, "No, but really, Y/N. I can't lose you. I almost did. Twice.", he pauses for a moment. "I love you, Y/N. So so much.", he says bringing my palm to his face. My heart skips a beat and my eyes well with tears, never expecting that from him. "I love you too, Spence.", I say with a shaky voice while brushing my thumb over his teary cheek. "So so much."

[gizkasparadise]

final leg of a journey to love thoughts!! (eps 35-40). this got so gd long so under a cut it goes. spoilers, of course:

PLOT STUFF/PACING

pacing for the plot definitely got shredded in the last chunk, which is a damn shame because otherwise i've been finding the pacing pretty much perfect. eps 35-37 in particular felt like they could have been like a 10 episode arc. ep 38, which mostly dealt with wu palace politics, should have been cut or streamlined imo and more time given to the characters we've actually been riding along with the whole story. by the time we get back to the pregnant empress, prince danyang, the first prince whose name i dont even remember, and the prime minister, i do not care about any of them and i think this subplot was simply just trying to fit too much shit into one bag

that said, this show still let the emotional moments hit and breathe and linger. i love the grief for the fallen liudao comrades as we go, as well as the less heavy but still emotionally important moments like yang ying and tongguan bonding over their upbringing. and we got a wedding /;3;/!!! for this show, the relationships and characters matter more than the storyline so im not mad about anything at all

side note: it's so gd millennial to have a story about a bunch of 30 something year olds who want to fake their deaths and retire into obscurity but instead they go and die for a boss they hate

CHARACTER STUFF

this show consistently brought a lot of depth to its side characters (and side side characters!!). i said it in an earlier post, but it bears repeating that even someone like deng hui i didnt expect anything from, but he got such good development and writing that he became a stealth fave. his dying words essentially being "dude, quit fucking around" ? iconic.

i didnt like tongguan as much as everyone else, so im pretty meh about everything regarding him. the attempt to force-wed ruyi was tonally really weird and didnt make sense (i assume there was some cuts made surrounding it). but LOL at him reusing all the outfits and decor immediately for his wedding to yang ying. baby duke, you tacky motherfucker. i ultimately think yang ying deserves better than him, but the good thing is that she knows this, so she'll be able to hold her own and then some entering into this partnership

shisan really was the heart in a lot of ways--the mom to yuanzhou's dad for the liudao. i was not expecting him to break my heart the way he did, but the fact that he held both qian zhao and sun lang as they died and then tried his best to remove yuan lu from harm and saved chu yue and was just very much a nurturer all the way through got me. his character couldve been cheap comic relief but the writing + performance really elevated him into one of the (imo) most memorable wuxia characters. his line wondering who would get to behead his beautiful skull!!! and how his mantra was always that he was going to drink the best wine, see the most beautiful women, and make the best of friends and he dies having lost the ability to see and having just had wine in memory of qian zhao, yuan lu, and sun lang. like. shut up!!

ruyi and yuanzhou were both so great and they're gonna be the drama OTP to beat forever. i loved the gender reversals, that they both were so respectful of each other, and that they also felt very mature in how they handled things and communicated. they were really interesting characters both together and apart and that's always a win-win. they had a schroedinger's ending where it's not super clear if they're alive or dead (i interpreted it as the latter), but what's kind of beautiful is that either option is satisfying to me. if they both died, they're reunited and with their comrades and the story is truly about the journey and the meaningful short connections we have. if they both survived, it's a bookend with the beginning where they each faked their deaths to escape. A+

COSTUMING

i gotta just separately mention the costuming for this show because it was 15/10. the textures, shisan's accessories, the way red became integrated with yuanzhou's wardrobe and blue with ruyi's. the details on the liudao name amulets!! SO GOOD. i love when characters' clothes tell a story on their own

overall i just really loved this drama it is probably my favorite wuxia ive seen so far! it's gonna be in my brain for awhile lol feel free to send fic prompts if you've made it this far :'D

[mako-neexu]

smth smth rambles that are entirely my opinion and i could be wrong (so dont attack me) you know this chapter made guda, fuijmaru ritsuka with already Many Issues worse is because of "mash" or rather kyrie's death but ultimately comes back to mash...that dantes did for them.

we even see a while back how guda was already shaken by not knowing whether mash is safe during lb6 after that fog like their priority is mash. mash.

they were already frantic as soon as they remembered mash almost questioning everyone about her whereabouts and immediately got reckless just trying to reach her at norwich. and when only when they were together did the "narrator" emphasize on the sheer relief guda felt like-- wow the obvious signs in OC chapter 2 makes you realize furthermore that guda's sanity hangs on a thin thread named 'mash' asdfgh

yes guda loves mash!! yes they care about her!!! but look and read at how guda tells absolutely nothing to mash- and that applied the same to kyrie!

(more below)

kyrie wanted to know and ask her senpai about the situation like we see her really wanting it but ultimately backtracking in the end because she trusts guda and she's even supportive. and guda was grateful/relieved that she stays innocent about the weird things going on in their tokyo.

they do compromise at one point that if kyrie really demands on explanations, guda would tell her but...

guda doesnt tell her anything, (kyrie believes in her senpai so even when faced with death, kyrie didnt break under pressure) keeps her in the dark so no one comes after her. for her to be ultimately safe. so she remains...innocent, normal who stands alongside "mama" and "little sister" as they arent involved in the first place about whats been happening. and guda wants to keep it that way for their family. not a real family, but a family nonetheless that cared about guda. an epitome of normal- which mash kyrielight has attained.

and now you see guda, who, upon waking up asks mash kyrielight if she was okay. if she was alright. guda doesnt stop their questions until mash answered. and so mash answered.

"I'm okay, Senpai. My vital signs are normal... so I'm completely okay."

all the while guda had just dismissed being in pain literally one minute ago and just hugged her tight. they "save mash the trouble" to tell her about the pains they went through in the singularity so as not to burden mash. so they stuff their pain inside the corner of their heart again, completely satisfied with mash's safety and disregarding their own health. (you also see in section 23 that theyre cherishing the normal and small moments with mash.)

mash is normal. mash looks pure to guda, her heart filled with "color" in comparison to guda whose heart has become "transparent". an inverse character development which will ultimately destroy them both.

for mash, who sees her Senpai as strong and unwavering, the image of kindness and strength when they held her hand during part 1 crushed by a coffin which she continues to believe them to be that way until now.

for guda, who sees mash as someone who's become normal. one last remnant that reminds them of a past life lost, mash with that purity and normalcy becoming an ideal to protect (as if she was glass) because they no longer have their own. (and mash is also literally the only one left close to guda, who remembers all the events of part 1. which... adds more to how losing mash would break guda even further.)

(also we see guda say 'tadaima' coming home to an empty house, the loss of kyrie and their family still in mind, and a little later, the Avenger mindset comes back and settles in as they're plagued by bloodlust. then when guda comes back to mash, their home, mash is their home. do you realize that? do you realize what im saying? mash says: "welcome home, senpai." and that was enough for guda. that eased everything in guda's tumultuous heart.)

i remembered guda avoiding on telling "mom" that they and kyrie were near the "gas leak site" / britoalter's battleground so like.....of course their lying to medical staff about getting back to the battlefield would carry over here.

deliberately making sure the "normal" components of their fake high school life remain untainted is what we see guda do. they shouldered everything, terrifying as it is, just to protect them but ended up inevitably losing them in the process.

there's also that contrast in seeing a dead body between kyrie and guda. kyrie still stood strong against dantes and remained rational and calm while telling "ojisama" that this wasnt good for guda. meanwhile guda, while still able to think about calling the ambulance after seeing the da vincis absolutely lost their mind when it came to kyrie which their mind thought of mash- and i think guda thought of both as 'one' person so they went absolutely insane right then and there

during the conversation with amatsuka, thats the part where guda became finally stable. because its implied guda's mental state really broke at kyrie's death which their mind automatically thought it to be "=mash is dead". but ukelele-senpai saved the day by reminding guda where they are, if mash and kyrie were the same person, and helping guda calm down and think of seeing that blue sky with mash during the part 1 epilogue.

and augh guda you shit!!! you need therapy!! dont put mash in a pedestal!! dont treat her as if she's fragile!! dont treat her like porcelain meant to be protected while you take on everything for the sake of keeping mash safe because she is the only remnant of your past left, because she is the only "normal" person you have left!!! guda you need to understand that if ever mash gets hurt someday or dies and its out of your control, you need to understand that it wont be your fault!! you need to understand that because someday you will part ways with her as well and you need to be able to be ready to lose again. if you lose mash once and for all, what will you do!?!?!? this is not healthy guda!! gudaaa you hear me!!?? gudaaaaaaa

[deathlooksgoodonyou-if]

No, I totally do not stare at your lips when you talk and wonder how it would have felt if it were me who you were kissing last night and not the stranger in your bed whose name you can't even remember.

So, Jules sleeps around while being in a situationship with the mc?

No. This is a line of thought the mc only takes if they end up falling victim to the 'jules effect' during their first meet up i.e, you choose to have crush on them just by talking to them once. Jules at that time doesnt know the mc well enough to stop living the way they have been doing so far. They stop drinking around, partying till late, hooking up after getting tangled up with the mc. They end up changing a lot of things about themselves. So no. They dont sleep around while being in a situationship with the mc.

[angy-grrr]

Idk if i'm just crazy but i noticed that there is a pattern with something that Uraraka does, is punctuated immediately after something Katsuki did before to Izuku and vice versa. I feel like this somehow highlights a difference between their intention and meaning for him. Like i'm sure this might be just a big coincidence but still.

well who knows really! The first thing that comes to mind to me is how Ochako helped Deku when he fell at the beginning, by being on the side/ behind him and using her quirk to avoid it, and Katsuki holding him facing each other, running to get to him faster than the rest -including Iida, whose quirk is literally about that!

But also the whole Deku thing; personally, because the author admitted he didnt intent to have Katsuki as a positive part of Izuku's life at first, I believe the reason for these introductions was clear: Bekugou, his childhood friend, opposes him and creates "Deku" as an insult to put him down, and will always mean that to him, while Ochako, a new friend he meets when starting his hero school, changes it creating something new and fresh so Izuku can have a motivation.

Non supporting VS Supporting. Out of his life VS In his life. Old VS New. Hopelessness VS Hope. Static VS Change.

You name it.

But then the author changes his mind, and Katsuki isn't just the rival anymore, and all of the sudden "Deku" has many layers; "Deku" also means the one that does his best alone, isolated and overworked, and even tho apparently this has shifted since the current chapters...

Slight manga spoilers, not too much tho (I guess??):

idk, Izuku still was ready to get up alone and fight if Aizawa didnt stop him to give him the T-shirt and remind him they are there. He was running alone, and others have to go to him (in this case, Iida) in order to help him, because he is still not asking for help at all.

It has been brought up again, the meaning Ochako gave it, and im not 100% sure if this is her remembering, Izuku, or the three of them -probably the last one? Iida seems to understand now what Ochako meant back then, and they see it in a positive light (which was the intention!), but for Izuku doing the best can mean many things. What's the best he can do? Act like All Might was his first answer, but that didn't work. Saving others? He knows heroes should do this, but with how unclear things are I dont know if he is aware the class would support his decision of saving a villain -after all, as far as we know, he doesn't tell anyone because he wants to share it with someone, but because someone else admitted it first.

Uraraka confessed that first, and showed that vulnerability without knowing how he could react [and honestly, it looked in that moment like she was mainly expressing herself outloud], and after that he ended up also sharing a similar feeling he had about villains and saving. What I mean is that he doesn't say shit unless someone else was vulnerable first.

Ochako wasn't going out to talk to anyone about it either, lets get that straight, but when she was asked by one of her best friends she lets herself be at least a little; she saw Izuku meant something "slightly" different than her, so she doesnt tell him how she envied her genuine smile, her freedom to be herself, love who she loves, or how she thought she was actually cute. She knew it was better to not talk about that because he had no interest in that, so she keeps it to herself knowing she will fight to make sure Himiko hears her this whole thing would be a part of the izuku and ochako meta kjfskjflajflksja

This happened too with Katsuki during their second fight; after Katsuki was emotional and falling apart, confessing such intimate and sad emotions with him, that's when Izuku couldn't help himself and ended up also putting his guard down. And still, he held back a crucial part -he didnt say he acts like him without even trying, and even tho everyone would see it as nasty and bad, he can't hate those things, those parts oh himself, because they are parts of Katsuki, his symbol of victory, what he sees as the best form of heroism. Despite Katsuki explaining he's confused and insecure over his main theme -victory-, and worries about it being not only unworthy but also the reason their idol "ended"... He held back.

He lost because of that.

Its interesting the contrast between those two scenes in terms of emotional vulnerability and reactions, before a war ochako and izuku are much calmer and distant than katsuki and izuku after getting back from a successful rescue. In the first case nothing actually changed between them -im not talking about the nature of the relationship but just the general apparent feelings and status. They are friends who share ideals and common interest before and after the talk, and the only one who was more reflective about it was Ochako who prefers to discuss it with Himiko than him -its more about them anyways. Izuku stays the same, as far as we know, because he thinks she also "just"* felt empathy for someone that was sad and alone, and we can't see this affecting him or shifting something between them.

His emotional moments with Katsuki? They do change everything every time -when he said he was going to be a hero, when they start to get closer, after the war "Deku" becoming "izuku", embracing what makes the other great, etc.

*Its a huge deal and really important, im not trying to minimize his motivations or ideas, just point out how their feelings and conflicts are different and similar -at this point we don't see Midoriya admiring Shigaraki in any way thru this whole story. The manga hasn't ended and he is unreliable, so maybe im wrong and he admires qualities about him he learns later on, but right now for me Izuku wants to bring him support because he is a human and nobody should get treated like he was.

Ochako and Katsuki also have different roles in his rescue, with him bringing him back to them and her showing everyone he is a boy that needs help. Izuku was moved by both actions, and thanks to Uraraka he gets to the shelter.

Their fight was also interesting! Ochako was thinking about winning this, yet she tried to follow Izuku's ideas and lost after trying something way too risky for her, because she ended up ignoring her own judgement and limits out of insecurity and admiration; when Katsuki tries to use his strategies in the wars tho, he is able to achieve what he wanted -he saves Izuku from getting stabbed, saves All Might from getting crushed by AFO, before dying he gets to weaken some parts of Shigaraki's body for the rest to use, etc.

Its not that he loses himself, he just tries something new that works for him, and im happy Ochako ended up realizing she needs to keep in mind what she needs and wants when taking inspiration from Midoriya. Even if similar, their feelings for "their" villains are different, and that's okay.

Katsuki now doesnt call him Deku unless he refers to his hero name, and prefers to use his first name while Ochako keeps using Deku-kun when talking to him or says directly his full name like in her talk with Himiko where she explains some parts of her life.

Even if "Deku" comes from "Izuku", the latter is closer, new for them, a little challenging at times, and shows respect, recognition and reaffirms his humanity over his heroism. "Deku-kun" sounds like "you can do it", a supportive name that comes from a misunderstanding from the beginning, and keeps getting used as she hasn't change her perspective about him in that way. He is still Deku-kun to her, but now Izuku to him.

Change VS Static.

Huh, I wonder where that came from.

[moreausturtles]

"the orange sun in the blue sky"

a/n: hi guys this is a rly rly old weirdly made draft that I made during my rly bad hyperfixation on the rise movie; i thought i might share it with y'all bc im somewhat proud of it? pls dont mind any mistakes i wrote it in a rush i think...? gl to everyone reading hahaha lmk what u think pls dont be mean

summary: leo and mikey are the only ones alive. they finally defeat the last of the kraang, but at a cost.

warnings: unchecked + unedited weird bullet point format; slight mentions of death/blood; one swear word?; very angsty and sad sorry :((

word count: ~1k

(imagine FINALLY defeating Krang 1 as a mission success)

- the baja blast duo fight the krang, lots of hard hits and close calls and they have the LUCKIEST breakthrough.

- krang 1 is on the ground and no longer able to move, all its tentacles are severed. its hanging on by a thread, one that leo is more than happy to cut.

- “this is for my family.” leo whispers, looking down at the krang in disdain.

- he jabs his sword into the krang's body under his foot, killing it in one motion.

- and just like that, it was over.

- leo takes a moment to breathe, like his body wasn’t letting him before.

- he allows himself to think, to process, to take in the fact that they had just won the war.

they won.

- a small smile grows on his face and a quick rush of excitement takes over his body

- “we did it…” he whispers, “mikey, we did it!” he repeats it, a part of him still in denial and acting like saying it again was going to convince him that the worst was over.

- but the worst was far from it.

- he turns around to mikey excitedly, who he thought was just quiet because he was just as shocked as he was

- but boy was he stupidly wrong

- mikey stood there, a hand on the side of his plastron with blood dripping from it then to the ground

“mikey…?”

- he tries to give leo a smile, but fails as his body drops to the ground

- leo’s heart drops along with him, he calls out his name and runs to him quickly and takes him in his arms

- mikey, even before his mystic powers, always had this signature orange glow radiating off of him. but this time, leo was afraid it was going to become very dim very soon.

- leo took his baby brother’s head in his hand—he didn’t care if mikey was fucking older than him (hc no thanks to his excessive use of mystic power), he was still his baby brother

- mikey needed medical attention fast. but they were in the middle of nowhere. no medical team. no backup. no hamato.

- “we did it, leo…?” mike manages to whisper out and smiled up at his older brother.

- “yeah buddy, we did…” the sniffling soon came as leo tried to fight back tears. he had known this would happen; could you really blame a guy whose family got picked off one by one during the apocalypse to think that way?

“i’m sorry, leo...”

- god, mikey’s voice shattered leo’s heart into pieces. so weak and trying.

- “hey,” leo uttered, trying to change the topic, “remember the time when you thought the gumbus was real?”

- this earned a very weak, wheezed chuckle from the mystic turtle, who had his eyes closed to visualize the fond memory

- “you did too…” leo laughed bitterly at that, feeling his little brother’s breathing pattern slow.

- “i did, yeah. it’s one of my favorite memories.” said leo.

- “mine too…” mikey opened his eyes, the memory ending, and looked up to see leo’s face drenched in tears. a pang hit mikey’s chest as he realized he was going to leave his brother soon.

- “hey, leo?”

- “yeah, miguel?” a playful nickname he hadn’t heard in years.

“you were always my favorite brother.”

leo laughed, genuinely laughed even though it felt like he was being stabbed in the chest tenfold.

- “don’t tell donnie or raph.”

- “i think they know.”

- both of them pause for a moment, neither of them knowing what to say or do. there wasn’t really anything else to do but wait. Each second leo spent trying to figure out what words he wanted to tell mikey. “I’m sorry.” “Say hi to them for me.” “Please don’t leave me alone.”

- mikey was his partner in crime and now he was just… fading. His little brother was dying.

- leo knew their time was running short from the way he was listening to mikey’s labored breaths. slow and trying. mikey thought about using his mystic power for one last push, to stay with leo, to make do with what was left of the world.

- they could rebuild it. it was easy for him to make things out of thin air. leo knows how to build and farm and haul and everything you could think of.

- but the mystic warrior was tired. they had been fighting for decades. he couldn’t lift a single finger even if he tried, and that was fine with him. he honestlyhadn’t felt relaxed like that in years.

- maybe they were better off not saying a word, mikey needed to save any air he could take in. leo kept his mouth shut just so he could spent just a little bit more time together in this bittersweet silence.

- suddenly he sees mikey’s lips open a little bit, and the next words that come out would forever leave leo wounded.

“I love you, big brother.”

- it took everything in leo to not break out in full sobs right then and there. he wanted to scream, beg, plead to the God that did this to mikey— if one even existed.

- leo swallowed the lump in his throat, forming the best—and last— smile he could muster for mikey, mimicking him the way he used to do it for him and his older brothers so they wouldn’t have to worry.

“I love you too, little bro.���

- leo’s little ray of hope slowly went limp in his arms. and he was all alone.

- leo kept mikey in his arms, still and unmoving. maybe it was his punishment for putting mikey in this whole mess. for destroying the world and his entire family. maybe a God did exist, it was just never in his favor no matter how hard he fought to appease it.

leonardo, the last one standing of the hamatos, defeated the Krang and lived, while mikey took his place in the sky as leo’s ray of sunshine.