#my brother and I are going to watch some minecraft videos :D

[charliesinfern0]

so many beautiful things happening on my birthday today!! :D

[bellabellaci]

wait wait wait whaaatt ok ok so I’ve been on a nostalgia kick recently and have been looking back into old fandoms I was apart of, like minecraft diaries. and I was going through the wiki to try and refresh’s myself on the lore because I don’t feel bothered to watch all the old videos😭 but but I realized I recognized some of the titles of the divine warriors! They’re also title of gods from ffxiv (the fury, the destroyer, the matron, the keeper, the wanderer)

The Matron The Destroyer The Wanderer The Fury The Keeper are the titles of 5 (of the 12) deities from ff14

both matrons symbols are the same too :D!

and! One of the other deities by the name of menphina, within eorzean mythology resides within a heaven/hell of ice with another deity by the title of the fury!

so we got another link with a divine warrior (menphia the fury)

Also excerpt from menphina the lovers wiki page to explain a bit (definitely not me being biased over my characters patron lol)

Idk if the mcd wiki is accurate/up to date or not! But I thought it be cool to share what I learned today (there’s def people who knew this b4 I just have the brain power of a shriveled walnut haha) I also do vaguely remember in one of Jess’s old videos she did say she met Jason through a final fantasy game and I do think some names and references from probably also from that game and other in the franchise but I don’t really know much since my knowledge is very surface level or non existent for most games

CICI FROM 5 MINUTES IN THE FUTURE

Yea she’s played ff14 haha! She’s posted her and her husband(pretty sure it’s him sure cus of the last name lycan) characters to twitter a few years back.. y’know I’m surprised it took me this long to make the connections because I’ve been watching my brothers play ff games for as far back as my earliest memories and even got some of their hand me down games NOT TO MENTION that their was a significant overlap in the time I lived and BREATHED mcd and would watch my brother play ff14 around the same time too?? To be fair though my brothers were going through the broody teen phase at that point too so they only really tolerated me watching them craft and gather or wander around for a bout an hour max before going to play cod or basketball with their friends😅

But back to main point I was trying to make is that it’s really neat how the series that started me creative journey is inspired by the franchise that has and is currently still fueling that drive^^!!

anyywhoosies that’s enough of my insomniac ramblings for tonight! thank you for joining me today in the cavernous maze that is my noggin🫡

I’ve got nothing else to say but look at my art if you want! and listen to dedicated to moonlight pls🌙✨ do it for me!!~ nphina💕

[rakka-kasahara]

2025-01-01

Dream:

I have forgotten some parts, but it starts in Grandma M's living room. There is a lot of stuff on the floor and boxes and the like. There is a toilet in the middle of the floor. I believe I take a dump in it, but it won't flush. I give it another try, and it starts overflowing. Worse than that, it splashes a lot out all over the boxes and on me! I try wiping myself down. I have forgot some of the details that likely make the transition make more sense, but now I am in space. I am on a small station in orbit around the Earth. I am also some sort of space princess. Someone talks to me about something. Eventually, a sort of zoom out of the surrounding map takes place, and I see all the planets and nebula. However, in one part of the map is the Dark Star. It is a purple star and is evil. There are several other stations and various space objects around it that have been corrupted.

In the next, I am playing Minecraft. I spawn in the world, and there are others with me. We are playing a sort of Hunger games. I have a wooden sword, but I don't use it. I run away, but someone comes after me. I punch them down a cliff and keep going after them. I continue running, but I have an iron breastplate and iron boots or pants. I put them on. I am now up in a base above the map, playing the game. Some other people are there, I think the other guys are in Mr. Beast videos as his friends. They mention that I won something or bought something that will give me a permanent advantage in the next game.

In the final dream I remember, I am at Grandma M's house and in her kitchen. A meal is ready, so I got to the upstairs stairs and yell up at my aunt. I then have to find my cousin. I exit the house and am outside Grandma D's house. I can see some windows that look into the downstairs stairway. I think she wasn't interested in eating. It was also foggy out.

Analysis:

Our downstairs toilet is not working well and sometimes doesn't want to flush. Our basement is also cluttered with boxes, so that might be the other part of the dream. For the space part, I got my brother a copy of Gideon the Ninth, so I think the space bits come from me talking to him about it.

Minecraft appears now and again since I played it a lot as a kid. I think Mr. Beast's friends were there since I watched a couple of his videos last night.

For the third, we usually don't eat together at Grandma M's since my aunt and cousin kind of have their own food.

[acanvasofabillionsuns]

wails i fear i have cursed myself

oh no it's fine here we go :^)

anyway my intended caption was 'today has been happy' :D

did not have to go to school today i am simply too cool 😎

which means i got!!! enough sleep!!! how novel how snazzy!!

i've started a new library book and it's v good so far 👀

did my laundry!! had NO energy for it yesterday but i got help starting it and then today i had the energy to finish it :]

talked a bit with percy!!!!

hung out in vc with raccoon, rem, kris, and george :D

we watched minecraft videos it was v fun

NEW THEAMANDAFILES POKEMON VIDEO AHHHHHHH

i haven't watched it yet but :blurryeyes:

i hung out with my dad a lot today :]

also with my sisters?? it's been nice :]

speaking of which, my sister made 😎 more cookie dough 😎 not for me specifically but i got some 😎

also i still had some left from when she made it for me on saturday and yum <33

and while i'm on the topic of food then i had turkey sandwiches for lunch,,,,, y'all idk if u remember when i was hyping up those turkey sandwiches i had back in december but these were, dare i say, even better <3

hamburgers for dinner!!! v yummy <3

watched more galm hades playthrough vids!! love whisper yelling at my screen for him to do things like that will change actions that happened like 2 years ago aksldfjs;aldfjk

the way you compute tonight from stray my beloved

i got to untangle a knotty ball of yarn 🤩

and i lent my brother a few yarns a few weeks ago and he gave them back today! (he still owes me one ball + crochet hook but he said he was going to use that tonight so it's fine)

no more crackly back tonight for me :D

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

[hacked-by-jake]

Hey Ho! :D

You will always find this post in my blog description.🥰

(Well, since there’s not really much information about me, here’s a post of things you’ve been interested in and some facts about me.)

(Thanks to the Anon for the motivation to do this here! <3)

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So, Hi! You can call me HBJ! I don’t want to mention my real name and age here. 😁

I started publishing my fanfictions here on Tumblr a little over a year ago and haven’t left since. xD

My mother tongue is not English, I am from Germany. So if you find some mistakes, please excuse it, I’m doing my best and still learning. <3

I honestly have no idea what to write here so, have fun, if anyone reads through this here. 😂 At least that’s a little bit of me. :D

>The Ask Box is always open. So feel free to ask a question if you are interested (but I want to warn you, I am not answering everything, but I will let you know in this case) < <3

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Let's start! ❤️🌹🎭

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First of all 10 Random Facts about me. This was asked by an anon. Here is the original post.

I’m a giant nerd, there’s no place in my room that’s not full of merchandise.

I prefer to read stories that are self-published, for example here on Tumblr or on other sites, rather than real books.

I have a problem with jackets, I have tons of them.

I usually dye my hair according to the colors of characters I like.It all started with green/purple - because of the Joker. And the last color I have at the moment is all green because of Joker / Loki from Marvel (Oups)

Almost all tattoos I have are about fictional characters (also Oups)

No one, really nobody knows what books/stories I read because that’s something very private to me.

I listen to music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Also, it’s hard for me / I don’t like to talk about the music I listen to because this is very intimate for me for some reason.

When I watch a series, it’s at least 2 times behind each other, sometimes more often. But never just once.

Films that I watch for the first time and that excite me, I watch every second that I have time. When the movie is over, I start again unless there are several parts. But then I always watch my favorite one 500 times.

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Random questions from you.

(Asked by @procrastinatingrobin) -One place that you'd like to travel at least once in your life?

---- One of my biggest wishes is (what a cliché xD) New York. For example the “Joker Stairs”, which is one of my biggest dreams. *-*

I would love to travel to a lot of locations from my favorite movies/series.🤭

America in general is a dream for me (a German potato 😂😅).

But there are so many beautiful places to which I want to go. For example, I would love to travel to Tenerife. I know someone who lives there and every time I see pictures I get very jealous. xD

Unfortunately, I’m incredibly afraid of flying, so if that doesn’t improve, I’ll never get anywhere near these places.😫😂😂

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(Asked by Anon) How many tattoos do you have?😄

I love tattoo questions. 😂🤭At the moment I have eleven tattoos🥰

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(Asked by Anon) -What's your favorite animal?

Hmmm I don’t really know, I think they are dogs because I have a dog now. *-* But to be honest, turtles are so cool.🤔 My brother has a turtle named: Schiggy (based on Pokémon)🤭

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(Asked by Anon) -The stupidest thing that ever happened to you?

Ohhh hahaha there I have something good!😅Story Time with Hbj xD

Okay: As some might know, I’m a big fan of The Joker by DC.🃏Well, in 2019, the Joker movie with Joaquin Phoenix came to the cinemas and I was at the cinema premiere with my best friend. And the movie was absolutely amazing. I really wanted to watch the movie again..Aaaaand I was lucky because my best friend’s boyfriend also wanted to see the movie in the cinema so I went back to the cinema 5 days later to watch the movie again. I was so excited and so extremely happy that I trembled and could not stand still. xD And for these two reasons, I accidentally dropped my not really old phone. It just fell straight down on the stones in front of the cinema and the display was completely broken..Well, what can I say? I needed a new one.. 😂😅But the movie was still fantastic!😍🤭This is actually one of the stupidest things that ever happened to me. xD

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(Asked by @kyras-things) What are the little things that make your day happiest?

Oh that’s a really nice question! *-*Well, I have really little things that can make me happy. :)-It is enough for me when I wake up tomorrow and see my merchandise shelf😅 (This is right in front of my bed)This is for most something really small but for me really great and makes me happy. <3Other things are music, stroking my dog, messages on my phone, my hair color, my tattoos, when the sun is shining in the morning, coffee, riding longboard and of course (yes this is my absolute serious and not only so therefore said) tumblr and thus at the same time Duskwood. 💕I think these are the most important things. 🤭All I need is to see something that matters to me.😅🥰

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(Asked by @leetjep) Seriously....Do you ever sleep?

Very rarely😂 Last time I slept was in fall.😂

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(Asked by Anon) Ios or android?

Only related to the phone: Android.Yes, I stand by it!😂

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(Asked by @booklover-01040) Hello!I was wondering have you got any paranormal or creepy experiences? If no, then a nightmare that you will never forget.

Hey Ho! In fact, I haven’t experienced any paranormal things. Which is probably also because I don’t believe in that and I’ve found a rational cause for everything so far. (Important: I don’t believe in it, but I don’t say it doesn’t exist, I don’t want anyone to feel attacked)

And a nightmare I’ll never forget? In fact, I can’t think of any one. There’s a dream I’ve have since I was a kid: It’s about two little wolves trying to eat me. xD And I can even tell where that came from.

The movie to blame for this is: Twilight xD

Yep… When I first watched this movie, I was way too young, and as a child I was always very anxious. Just such things and horror movies in general were terrible for me (today it is actually no longer so) (Even the dream is no longer bad today and yet it has a bitter aftertaste of childhood.)

In any case, I was much too young and that did not let me go back then. xD But a really unsettling dream I had was: Well.. Do you know the Pink Panther? 😂

I once dreamed that the Panther “chased” me through an endless long corridor. It was an endless corridor in pink with countless doors. He sang the theme song and threw clocks at me…😅 And that went on all night until I woke up.

(This, by the way, had a trigger too. A German song (the rapper only took the melody of the title music and wrote his own lyrics. The text isn’t really cool though and that’s the reason)

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(Asked by @dreamer-writer-fangirl) What color is your hair?

Well, at the moment my hair is green🤭

Check HERE and HERE for pictures.

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(Asked by Anon) Is your brother younger or older than you?🤗

My brother is older than me.🥰

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(Asked by Anon) Do you have a nickname?

Yes, actually I have one. I can even say it because it has nothing to do with my real name. :D But please don’t laugh at me. 😂Well, I have the loving nickname: Little Onion. yep…My mom gave me that name for some reasons. 😂

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(Asked by Anon) some information about your dancing?😄 you mentioned it a few days ago💃

Yeah, well, I danced for 13 years, in different groups, also several groups at the same time. :D It was the hip hop/breakdance direction. But at some point I stopped because I didn’t enjoy it in the groups anymore and time was getting tighter. :/ Unfortunately, there was and is no real other groups here, which is why I stopped completely and now only dance for myself and just for fun.🤭

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(Asked by Anon) What's your favourite food ?

Uhhhm, I think everything with pasta is my favorite food.😂 I can eat noodles all day. 🤭🍝🍜Well, and of course, Pizza!���Pizza is adorable. 😂

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(Asked by Anon) What type of video games do you like to play?

I don’t really have a favorite type / genre, I don’t play video games that often. I’m actually playing what looks exciting to me without any particular genre or type. 😁🤭

But if I do, I guess I’m the most Nintendo type. So most of the games I play are related to Nintendo. <3

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(Asked by @mirajane01040-duskwoodmemes) Do you play... Minecraft?

I used to play a lot of Minecraft, but nowadays not so much, and if so, then only the mobile version. This is fun for in between and dispels the boredom. I even started building Duskwood several times, but never finished it. xD Well, yes, sometimes I play Minecraft.

Answer a few days later: Yes, I do!

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(Asked by Anon) If you could be a fictional character, who would it be and why?

Oh, there are a few. xDBut the three main characters for me: Evey Hammond because of V for Vendetta. Harley Quinn because of The Joker. And, of course, my MC because of Jake. 🤭I know, very superficial reasons but I hope they are enough for you, because these are the main reasons xD 😅🤭

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(Asked by Anon) Hey hbj i'm curiousFamily or a career? 😋

I choose the career.🤭 After that, there is still enough time, and who says that not both work?😉

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(Asked by Anon) do you like alcohol?🍷

No, absolutely no. Not a little bit.

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(Asked by Anon) What is your favorite drink?

If I don’t drink coffee, I only drink sparkling water, my entire life. I very rarely drink something different. Water for life! 🧊

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Either/or questions from you.

(Asked by @duskwood-legacies) -What would you rather see, Northern Lights or sky lanterns?

That’s easy for me🤭 Northern Lights! If you ask me.. that is magical! *-* (Well, unless it’s like “Tangled” and I get a Flynn Rider.. then sky lanterns xD)

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(Asked by @duskwood-legacies) -Strawberries or raspberries?

Definitely: Strawberries🍓 *-*

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(Asked by@duskwood-legacies) Do you prefer angst or fluff?

I think it depends on the general mood I’m in.🤔 I think the best is angst with happy ending.😁

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(Asked by@duskwood-legacies) Milk or cereal first?

Obviously: Cereal first! 😂🥣

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(Asked by @justubi) Would you rather have a nosy neighbor pr noisy neighbor?

Unfortunately, I have both. xD But if I could choose, I would opt for the noisy neighbor as I wear headphones all day anyway.😂

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(Asked by @justubi) Would you rather be poor but love your job or rich but absolutely hate your job?

One hundred percent and without having to think about: poor and love my job!I could never have a job I don’t like. This is a real horror imagination for me😂

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(Asked by @kyras-things ) Prefer to write fanfics or read them?

Oh that’s a really hard question for me! 🤔 I can’t really make up my mind, but I think I’d rather read than write myself. With stories of others I can better dive into another world and relax. 🤭Because when I write, five hundred other thoughts always fly around in my head and I have to decide how to write something etc.I love writing but sometimes I wish I only had to think about a story and it would be written on a sheet right away. xD <3

---

(Asked by @leetjep) Would you rather have one eye in the middle of your head or two noses?

I take the eye in the middle of my head. 😂Then I would make the Jake eye as a tattoo around it, which would be really cool.🤭

---

(Continues on new asks)

[captainmazzic]

Happy Halloween.

So it’s about time I gave a real fucking update instead of just dicking around being cagey about shit. I’ve mentioned a new project repeatedly. So let’s sit down and actually talk about it, friends. Pull up a chair, grab yourself some hot cocoa and strap in. Welcome to Sarc’s emotional roller coaster.

Bear with me. This is hard to talk about for so many reasons, but mostly because I’ve been belittled and ridiculed so many times in my life for liking “cringy” things or wanting to do things that other people think are stupid or childish. I hear the voice of my father telling me to “make something of my life” and “don’t squander your talents”, I hear the voice of my mother telling me I have “so much potential” and “one day I hope you get some ambition”, I hear the voice of my ex telling me to “stop wasting time with stupid shit” and “nobody is interested in failures”. I hear old teachers telling me honor roll students should go to college and study high-demand majors and anything else would be lazy and detrimental and won’t contribute anything worthwhile to society.

It’s the same shit that prevented me for a long time from posting art online. From posting writing online. From making ocs and showing them to other people. And now it’s preventing me from starting this project, and I’m so, so tired of it.

My biggest fear right now is that once I start talking about this project I’ll lose this tiny little community of people vaguely interested in my stuff that have somehow stuck around. External validation and sharing the things I love are my primary motivations with everything I do online, and while screaming into the void is all well and good, I need feedback and interaction and community. I need it so, so badly. I wouldn’t post jack shit – ever – if I didn’t need that, to be honest.

So anyway.

When the pandemic kicked into high gear earlier this year I got laid off for a few months. It gave me a lot of time to think about who I am and where I wanted to be in life, what mattered to me, what dreams I still had and which ones had fallen by the wayside.

Some of them are huge – once upon a time I was very religious. I went through seminary, got my minister’s certification, and was slated to be an associate pastor in a mega-church and rake in a six-figure income within 3 years. But I lost my faith and couldn’t stand the idea of being disingenuous.

And there was also a time when I received a full-ride scholarship to a very prestigious university that would have spanned a 12-year program and resulted in me having several doctorates and masters degrees by the end of it, in the fields of geology, palaeontology, and cladistics. But the scholarship program that was supposed to sponsor me went bankrupt the very semester I was supposed to capitalize on it. I was still accepted into the school, but the $1.2 million price tag would have all been out of my own pocket. So obviously that didn’t happen.

Those were the “acceptable” dreams. Those were the ones that parents and teachers and the general outside world approved of and thought were worthy goals. But neither of them panned out, and all I have left are the cringy ones. Like homesteading and sustainable living (can’t start without land, can’t have land without money). Like making comic books and doing art commissions for a living (it has to be steady to support myself, and I’m far too slow an artist for things to be steady). And like… playing video games.

Ha.

What’s funny is I can already envision the eyerolls and hear the snorts of laughter. What kind of dream is that? Only a handful of famous youtubers and twitch celebrities play video games for a living, and breaking into a field like that is pretty much impossible unless you already have friends in famous places.

Yeah, but… it would be so much fun. Right?

It WOULD be fun. I don’t have to become a super popular celebrity for it to be fun, right?

I don’t have to make it my day job and rake in piles of cash for it to be fun, right?

… I don’t have to actually be successful for it to be fun… right?

… Right?

:/

… I love video games.

I’ve loved them ever since I tried and failed so many times to win The Empire Strikes Back on Atari 2600. I’ve loved them ever since I played Mortal Kombat with my cousin in his basement with the sound down super low because it was ultra-violent and I would have been in so much trouble if mom caught me playing it. I’ve loved them ever since I tried and failed to finish Strife and Hexen and Heretic without the computer crashing and rebooting to DOS. I’ve loved them ever since I had to cheat-code my way through Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II just to get past the first boss fight but then no-clipped through the wall and died anyway. I still love that game.

But I stopped playing video games for a very long time. I was intimidated out of them by an ex and a somewhat toxic friend group who were Real Gamers™. I was brought to LAN parties but not allowed to play, because I slowed down the team and didn’t know the controls. I was banned from commenting on other people’s moves or cheering people on because it was distracting and I could cost them a win. I was even kicked out of their online D&D campaigns because I couldn’t be serious enough or roleplay well enough for their standards. Even if I was playing a game on my own, I couldn’t play with anyone else in the house because I’d be ridiculed for dying a lot, or for going the wrong way, or for picking the wrong game because only certain games are “good” and most of the ones I wanted to play were “stupid” or “trash” or a “waste of time”.

That kind of thing sits with me for a very, very long time. I didn’t really play games at all for over a decade. Even after I ended up on the opposite side of the country, with a new circle of friends, I couldn’t bring myself to play much of anything.

And then I had an extended visit with a friend of mine, and he introduced me to an early version of a ridiculous little game called Minecraft. My friend was an avid gamer but also a very kind one. In the ten years before this, I had told myself that I just preferred to watch other people play games instead of playing them myself (a lie. I mean, I absolutely adore watching other people play, but I also want to play too lol), my friend saw through that and very gently encouraged me to take a stab at playing Minecraft myself. He moved his laptop over to me, and I played a whole ten minutes with him watching before my nerves failed me and I promptly died. But miraculously it wasn’t a big deal to him. It was just a game. I might have cried in relief, I don’t remember.

After my visit I shelved playing video games for like another year, despite buying a whole mess of them because other friends online loved certain titles and wanted to talk about them with me. (I never played them, just bought them. I couldn’t even handle the thought of playing by myself in my own house). But for some reason I mentioned to my brother-in-law my old visit to my Minecraft-loving friend, and he just… up and bought the game for me. My brother-in-law is also an avid gamer with a lovely and patient disposition, and he suggested I just play in creative mode and build things to start. So I did that (behind a locked door in the RV that I lived in by myself, with the lights off and the sound down low) and Minecraft was my sole video game for another several years.

Then a couple years ago another friend of mine (hi Char) introduced me to Star Wars: The Old Republic, and I fell in love. It sparked a renewed interest in video games that I thought I would never really have the opportunity to satisfy, because games were still intimidating.

Let me clarify: I… SUCK. At video games. I’m terrible at them. Learning controls is a nightmare and a tunicate evolving its own brain would learn faster than me. If I’m aiming, I can’t hit the broad side of a barn. I have the direction sense of a whirligig beetle on the back of a drunk pigeon. I die fast and I die often. I can count the number of games I’ve actually finished on one hand. Even less if we don’t count the ones I had to use cheat codes to get through. But none of that diminishes my love of experiencing them, and over this whole pandemic and quarantine thing I’ve had a lot of time to unpack and mull over my thoughts and feelings and passions about them.

… I moved my RV to a new spot literally the day before the lockdown in my state first initiated. Before this I was in a spot that had no internet other than what reception I could get on my phone, with severely limited bandwidth and patchy, unreliable service. The new spot has a steady wi-fi connection, and while upload speed is utter shit, downloading and streaming video are just this side of manageable. So I spent the first three months of the quarantine lockdown doing pretty much nothing other than watching Jacksepticeye, CrankGameplays, and Markiplier play video games on YouTube. (I honestly had no idea before this that people even did let’s plays. My internet access/speed has been shit for so long I’m totally out of the loop).

It… for fear of sounding utterly stupid yet again, it inspired me.

Like. These people really love what they’re doing. They just. Play video games and have fun with it, and I mean yeah they make money hand-over-fist doing it but the main thing is they HAVE FUN doing it. They have fun! Playing video games! In front of people! It’s wild. And the thing that REALLY got me was… they have feedback on it too. They have a COMMUNITY. They have people they can talk to about it. They have people that they can play games WITH, even, who don’t yell at them or tell them they suck every five minutes or tell them they can’t play with them because they’re worthless as teammates. They can fuck up in a game and their friends are laughing along with them on Discord instead of screaming at them to get it right or get out. They can play games by themselves in their house and then upload videos on the internet and then they can talk to other people about it! They have fun! It’s awesome! They have fun!!

I just. It meant so much to me. It meant so much to me to see these videos of these three, and then another dozen or so that I’ve followed since, play all these games and have such a good time and also be such a positive and kind and encouraging source of energy.

I know all of this is not exactly about video games specifically. It’s about coming to terms with how I’ve been treated as a person and as a friend, about how other people respect someone’s interests and passions, about how it’s okay to share your interests with other people and it’s okay to like things that other people might not care about or think are important.

And I’m so, so tired of not doing the things I love because I’m afraid of what other people will think.

So I, uh. I invested all of the stimulus money I had into a new rig and equipment like a camera, lighting, acoustic panels, all that shit. I dug out all the games I bought but never played, I made accounts on all the big gaming services like Steam and Itch.io and GoG, and I made a YouTube channel. And I’m going to be making my own let’s plays. And it will suck, and it will be cringy and awkward and badly done, and it won’t make me money or be a valid career option or be anything but another very expensive hobby, but it will be mine, and it will be something I can share with people and (hopefully) have fun with, and it will (hopefully) be an avenue for some of this positive social interaction I’m craving.

I know YouTube can be toxic and super negative and full of trolls and cancel culture fanatics and people just waiting to find something to tear you down for, but like. Come on, y’all. I’m posting this on tumblr dot com. Toxic is everywhere anyway. I just want to try, you know?

I just want to love video games again.

Someone famous that I look up to so, so much told me – without knowing that I was even listening, without even knowing that I even exist – that if I enjoy doing something, to just go for it. To just jump in and do it, and if it works then it works, and if it doesn’t, what have I actually lost?

And I’m lucky enough to have four whole offline friends that I’ve mentioned this idea to, and each of them has said encouraging things like I’d have a good voice and face and style for making let’s plays. I honestly don’t know how true that part is, but on my good days I believe them. And they also said that I should go for it, to just try.

So that’s… that’s what I’m doing, I guess. I just want to try.

I know it’s not Star Wars fanart. I know it’s not Star Wars fanfiction. I know it’s not Star Wars meta or essays or ranting about the Sith and the Jedi and the Force. I know it’s not what y’all want from me. And that’s utterly terrifying. I’m bracing myself to be alone on the internet again, because I know that when I dive headfirst into this thing, it’ll eat away into the time that I normally might be spending doing writing or art, and it’s going to be something no one else wants to see and no one signed up for. And that’s partly why it’s taken me so very, very long to get started.

The other part is more physical. Of course as soon as I decide that I’m going to put my face on a camera is when my entire face goes to shit. I’m currently waiting on a potential diagnosis for mouth cancer, while already dealing with a severe jaw infection that’s causing my teeth and gums to rot inside my mouth. They already took part of my jaw, I’m missing teeth, others are turning black, if I open my mouth even just a little it is so obvious and I look like a very, very literal zombie. I have never been more grateful that masks are socially acceptable. I have a series of twelve appointments scheduled to treat this shit now that I have dental and health insurance (goodbye paycheque), and I might qualify for reconstruction surgery too. But that doesn’t really help how I look right now.

So I just can’t bring myself to start this project just yet. I’ve been sitting on it for months now with all the other pieces in place, but I just. Can’t. Start. It’s driving me crazy, because I want to start so badly. I feel like I’m wasting time. I feel like I’ve already wasted so much time, because I haven’t even done anything else in the meantime. I haven’t done hardly any art or fanfic, nothing. My anxiety is spiking so high right now because I have all these expectations of myself, but I can’t do anything about it. I’ve been told that I could just start without a camera or wear a mask on screen, and I’ve actually done some recording doing exactly that, but I just… can’t seem to make anything I want to finalize.

It’s also frustrating because I have no way of uploading anything at home. I’ll have to go over to my partner’s house which is nearly an hour’s drive away in order to get internet good enough to upload videos, which means that upload schedules are going to be shiiiiiit and that’s also frustrating.

But. But. BUT. I want to do this.

I want to do this so badly. I want to share let’s plays and experience a love of video games with other people. I want to actually play games with other people too. I also just acquired a piano keyboard, and I want to play again on the regular because I miss it so much. I used to play piano for hours every single day, it’s so relaxing and fun, maybe I can post that too. Maybe I can post let’s draws or something, where I ask y’all what to draw and then make a video of me drawing it while bullshitting to the camera I don’t know it sounds like fun. Maybe I can post videos of my cooking because the shit I make seems to be everyone’s favourite thing on instagram, and maybe I can take my camera with me when I go to the ocean or hike up into the middle of nowhere in the mountains and film how beautiful everything is up there. Or maybe I can do none of that and just focus on one thing, I honestly have no idea what I’m doing or how to do it, but I just… I want to try. I just want to try.

I don’t know where any of this is going anymore. I’m sorry I haven’t responded to messages, or opened up commissions. I’m sorry that this isn’t what y’all wanted. I’m still going to continue drawing and writing, I’m still going to be around, I’m not going anywhere, but I have no idea how prolific I’m going to be and I have no idea even when I’ll start uploading videos, to be honest. But I just. I’m just gonna try. It might still take me a while but I’m gonna try. Wish me luck. I love y’all.

[thinkinghq]

congrats on 100♥️♥️ !! you deserve it!

do you think kita would join in the inarizaki smoke sessions?

Thank you 💖 I'm always excited when you send in ask!

Kita wouldnt he takes "care of himself" and he probably wouldnt want anyone he knows and care about to do it he is like "its ur life you can do whatever you want but stop doing that 😐"

Anyway hear a scenario on the team smoking (sorry for turning them into skaterats...) //tw: drugs //

The 2nd years plan to do a long hot box session when they're in Tokyo they want to buy some good ass weed. They already have everything ready they smoke in sunas and ginjimas room. They also convinced aran to smoke with them as well bc they want to see him high so bad (aran never smoked but that's like a once in a life thing for him, but he is mad anxious of getting caught by coach). Anyway osamu probably rolls all of them bc he has the least shaking hands and also but every crumb in (suna a little wastefully and blows the crumbs away 💀. They also sat atsumu and osamu away from each other bc they would start a competition on who can out smoke whom. They all thought they going to get all high and funny but it ended up with suna being on ig and watching Minecraft videos mad loud on yt, osamu lies on bed eats all his snack and leftover cold McDonald's food (he doesn't share anything) and falls asleep every 20 minutes wakes up and continues eating again the bed has chicken nuggets crumbs and ketchup stains, aran has the worst trip and just stares at the wall while having an anxiety attack, atsumu says the dumbest shit and exposes himself told everyone he made himself a coussy fucked it and cried afterwards for being so lonely exposes himself and confesses all the thing he has done to osamu behind his back and osamu just sleeps At that moment he also tells he looks at everyone's dick in the changing rooms to compare himself 💀 and ginjima got undressed and spoons with osamu with just his underwear suna joins in later and spoons ginjima he's still watching minecraft tho. Atsumu stands up and takes a shower for no reason and slips in it REALLY load ... after they done they open the window for 10 minutes and spray all of their axe body sprays in the rooms thinking it would cover up the smell ...

Here a little scenario if Inarizaki had a manager

//tw: drugs ; tw: manupilation ; tw: noncon also bad writing my bad I m sorry I turned it into dc //

After atsumus shower he calls you from his phone telling you should come as fast as you can to sunas room bc they have an emergency he doesn't tell you what emergency and you feel like you getting pranked you still go there to see what's going on.

Knocking on the door atsumu opens it with water drops falling from his hair and only wearing boxer shorts he pulls you in fast and forcefully and seats you on one bed looking at the room their is so much fucking smoke in the air and its stinks so bad in the other bed you see ginjima suna and osamu sitting heads turned at you before you can ask anything atsumu sits next to you on the bed wrapping one arm around your waist and smiling at you 

"I'm so happy you came" 

is what comes out of his mouth before you can ask wtf is going on you feel a hand on your hair playing with the length and running fingers through it you turn around and see ginjama 

"you're right atsumu her hair is so soft"

 is the only thing you hear before you feel atsumus breath on ur ear 

"of course I'm right it also smells really good"

 and atsumu smells the strands of hair behind ur ears wich makes you flinch away

But osamu caught you and traps you between his brother 

"I never smelled your hair before ... can i ?"

"Of course you can samu why wouldn't she let you" 

Osamu leans in and sniffs you get hit by the smell of fast food. 

"What are you d-doing guys? I thought you had a emergency what did you in here don't tell me-" 

But you got cut of by the feeling of a large hand cupping ur breast over ur shirt 

"her hair isn't the only soft thing yk guys~ osamu feel them to!" 

And osamu cups your other breast without missing a beat 

"there really are ... but her bra is in the way tsumu" 

grabbing their wrist you try to pull them away but you feel so weak all the smoke in the room made you so dizzy it feels like you can't move them a inch away 

"leave y/n alone guys you scare her" 

aran voice comes out so weak he lies on the floor at the other side of the room he tries to move his head but barely can lift it he mumbles something but you barely came hear it instead you feel both twins' breath in your ears the both fondling with your breasts you try to free you're self but it feels like you can't lift yourself up the bed both twins took on of your hands and holding them down, so they can touch you easier

Your eyes are closed and your pressing down your lips to not let a whimper out thru ur eyelids you see a dark shadow forming in front of you opening up your eyes seeing suna gave you hope he will help you right he will scold the twins, and they leave you alone right? But you

"lay hear done, so I can, I pull hear sweatpants of and see her thighs and panties"

instead you feel tears forming in your eyes what's going on? Why? They would never do something like that what's happening?

You feel two hand on your shoulder they pull you back and you land on ginjimas lap the twins lay down to your sides as well, so they can continue with their abuse a weak "n-no" leaves your throat the light of the room is so bright you feel so tired and weak and the hands kinda feel good ginjimas hand his giving your scalp a massage and the touch of the twins isn't that rough any more you kinda feel safe between them as if they protect you right now you just feel embarrassed and overwhelmed by this. 

Suna pulls your sweatpants of halfway exposing your bare thighs and panties 

"awww how cute did you choose those panties for me?"

Atsumu says while his hand moved to the hem of your t-shirt slowly he moved them under your shirt and moving the up 

"shut up" 

suna says while palming himself through his sweats osamu moved his hand also under your shirt fingertips slowly moving under your bra atsumu slipped his hand already under it you open your mouth to say something but ginjima sushes you both hands caressing your face he moves your face so you face him you can feel now his boner under his clothes the bulge touching the sides of your head.

He makes eye contact with you he just smiles and you feel fingertips ghosting over your thighs.

// they do this for a while before pulling slowly away they didnt go further than this they also act like nothing happend you felt dizzy atsumu found you on the floor and put you on the bed you probably are exhausted from the long drive that's what atsumu told you when you woke up you really believed him for a minute but when you went to ur room you saw the atsumu was the last person who called you so it wasnt a dream? Confused manager adventures. The reason the boys didnt went further is bc the 2nd years planned having a little fun with you but since aran was there they couldnt go out all the way//

[richkidznation]

SELF ESTEEM is Wasabi's solo debut mini album. It was released in July 27th, 2020 and promoted for 5 weeks, he said in his promotion live that the songs were very personal for him and he hoped he could pass the message and tell fans with the same struggles they weren't alone. The mainly promoted tracks were NOID and Lovely.

Era details, M/Vs and tracklist overview under the cut :: tw for mental health related topics

NOID M/V: Aesthetics and Storyline

The M/V starts with a few shots of the following scenes

At the start, Wasabi looks in the mirror to see someone identical to him holding a camera, he turns around and no one's there

In the next shot someone blindfolded him, then he's walking on the top of a building, blindfolded and dancing

The clone with the camera shows up a lot, recording every step he takes in the video. He represents the media keeping an eye on him

In the top of building scenes, everytime he tries to fight the clone, he trips and almost falls. By the end he actually runs to him but trips and falls from the building. Showing that even when he fought back the whole stalking, it was useless.

There's also a scene where they're both in a bathtub, the clone still has the camera and Wasabi tries to drown him, no success

The performance bits are in an empty room, cameras, masks, phones and mirrors everywhere

By the end, he's alone in an empty room, clone standing in the corner as he apparently gives up in fighting it

Lovely M/V Aesthetics

Tracks Overview

1- NOID (inspo.)

The sasaeng incident might have been funny at the time, but it deeply affected Alan. In this song lyrics, he felt almost a paranoia about being followed by sasaengs and just of being watched in general, including his fear of being manipulated by the media, which he had since his trainee days.

2- Lovely (inspo.)

It's a message for himself and others who might go through the same problems as him, to not forget how lovely they are, he also addressed his self esteem issues in it, reminding him and his fans to not forget their qualities no matter how hard it is. He also called Royal Entertainment's soloist Enlai to participate in the music video and to play the acoustic guitar live in music shows and it got him more popularity.

3- Mother (inspo.)

This one is a message to his mother, it's about how as the middle brother, he didn't get much attention from his parents, specially his mother. This one is just a plead for love, acceptance and attention from her. He also lowkey has an existential crisis in it.

4- Brotherhood (inspo.)

A message to his brothers. This one is more light-hearted, it's a thank you letter for everything they've done for him. It talks about the laughs and sobs they shared, all the broken bones and scars they got since kids, just nostalgia and soft vibes.

5- Don't Let Me See (inspo.)

Once again about his anxiety, he doesn't want to see what people talk about him, scared of not being enough or just fear of people hating him.

6- BUCK (Cover) (inspo.)

This one is just a cover he sang of Bolt's solo song, BUCK. Nothing much, caused some solo stans to fight over which song is the best while they covered the song like the other was the original.

Stage Outfits

Era Highlights

Dude went CRAZY with the styling

He said I want androgynous I'll have androgynous no one will stop me

And fans went crazy ngl same

Lots of crop tops too, for the NOID mv and promotion photoshoots too

Enlai joined him in the Lovely performances but he only wore light jeans and a white sweater to match the colors of Wasabi's outfit

He got a lot of hard stans after that so now there's fights inside his fandom because soft stans just can't stand hard stans thirsting over Sabi's abs akgjwk

Lives during that era usually turned to a more serious vibe because people kept asking him to talk about his mental health, so he did for the sake of helping his fans

It got too tiring after a while so he did less lives but they were still fun, he played minecraft in one of them

“I don’t know if I can say the name so here’s this unnamed generic square game I found online let’s play! :D”

His sibling showed up a lot in his lives and posts as always

“Hey guys that’s my sister Nari she just debuted go support her don’t stream NOID stream Secret Story of the Swan : )”

The hairstyles tho-

Braids, pigtails, ponytails, anything you can imagine he went crazy with those too he even changed his hair color like 3 times during that era it went from black to blonde to blue AND pink

Ah yeah wins so, NOID got like 4 wins and Lovely got 3 so he did well

Even tho the songs are sad and stuff, he still had a lot of fun performing, Rich Kidz and Wasabi solo stans felt the emotion he put into these when he sang and overall he was really happy with the results : )

SELF ESTEEM photocards

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #297

“crushed, damned, and broken; lost, sick, and left unspoken.”

When was the last time you did clay work/pottery? Not since high school when I made an anatomically correct heart. Do you like art, hate it or just not mind it? I adore it. Is crime a big problem in your area? Oh yes. What's the scariest story/urban legend/creepypasta etc you heard? Maaaan, as a cryptic fanatic, that's hard. Maybe the Rake. What personality trait does nearly everyone in your family seem to have? We're some resilient motherfuckers. What is your favorite soda? Well, it's technically strawberry Sunkist, but I do NOT let myself have it because I will fucking chug it and binge on them if available to me. So, I just consider Mountain Dew Voltage my fave. When you're on the beach, do you throw beached sea creatures back? I've never even seen a beached animal. I would, though. Have you ever thrown food at someone? Yeah, small food fights as a kid or joking with a friend. Have you ever been to a bonfire? Yeah. Do you like orangutans? I love them; such fascinating, enchanting animals that act more human than people half the time. When you see a bug flipped on his back, what do you do? It depends on what it is, but I usually try to help it. Is cereal good? Yeah, I love cereal. Do you like spaghetti? Love it. It was my favorite food as a kid. Is there any kind of weapon in your bedroom? No. Do you like snow globes? I love 'em! Be honest, did Fifty Shades of Grey arouse you in any way? I didn't read it and never will. What does your sibling(s) call you? "Britt" or "(little/big) sister." Do you have any close friends that are the opposite sex that your significant other dislikes? N/A Do you honestly believe everything happens for a reason? Why or why not? Nope, because I want you to explain to me why a child dies of cancer. Why the 11-year-old was raped and forced to bear the child. Why a partner is beaten to death by their s/o, etc. etc. Things just... happen. Do you believe in reincarnation? Why or why not? No, mostly; I DO kinda wonder about it, I just find it unlikely. It would be kinda poetic, though: being given the chance to experience so many unique things. But, I kinda want a conclusion to my mortal life. The Hunger Games or The Maze Runner? I read the first HG and loved it; I started the latter novel while I was in the psych hospital for a while, but I never finished it or got that far in. It did sound pretty good, though. Has anyone you’ve known claimed to be psychic? Well, they believe(d) in tarot readings; does that count? Idk. Did/do you believe them? I wouldn't. Is anything annoying you right now? "Annoyed" is a fucking understatement when it comes to what transpired at the capitol a few days back. Have you ever been ice-skating? No. Does the sound of rain at night help you sleep? It can, depending on how heavy it is. Have you ever seen an albino person, in person? Albino, no, but I knew a guy and his sister in high school who had vitiligo. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Yeah, at the ER and hospital. Have you ever walked into a massive cobweb? I don't believe so. What would you say is your strongest felt emotion right now? Rage. I'm not over "the event." I'm just tired of humanity. Are you talking to anyone at the moment? No. Do you have trust issues? Oh yes. Have you ever found an arrow head? No. Who is with you? My mom's home. What can you not stop thinking about? *points upwards* Then there's Jason because PTSD, that's very normal. Do you forgive easily? I forgive very easily, honestly. In what part of your life so far, have you learned the most about yourself? 2017, when recovery began. I think... or maybe 2018, idk. I've truly come to discover myself quite a lot the past few years. Have you ever been in a fist fight? No. Are your ears pierced? Yeah: my earlobes twice, and then my right tragus has a stud. I want to get my others back... I had to take them all out in the psych hospital, and a lot of my piercings closed up. The only one I don't wanna re-do is my anti-tragus, because mine was *always* inflammed and aggravated. What did you last say out loud? "Okay" to Mom. What are you waiting on? Right now, an opportunity to go to the parlor I'm getting my tat tidied up at to get a price range on it. They just need to be open while we're out of the house. Do you tell people when they get on your nerves? Not really. Are your feelings hurt easily? Yep. What's the most expensive piece of clothing you have? Did you buy it yourself? I dunno... I very rarely get new clothes, nevermind expensive ones. Who is your closest platonic friend of the opposite sex? His nickname is Girt. He's been my best male friend since high school; we even hang out sometimes, but it's been a long while. How do you think your first relationship shaped who you are as a partner now? As a partner, it taught me to not fall head over heels and love more realistically and in a healthy fashion. I don't put my faith solely into them, but myself, too. I also accept "forever" is not always true just because they promise it. Who is your favorite protagonist of the same sex? Oh god, this is hard. I suppose maybe Tyrande Whisperwind from WoW. I love her dedication to her people and that her story has become more interesting in her finally "breaking." I could list so, so many "faves," tbh. Were you popular in high school? What was your reputation like? No; I was just the average teen. Have you always known your sexual orientation or did something happen to make you realize it? Somethings happened. There were a lot of hints building up before I even began to consider the possibility, but a daydream solidified it as fact. What was the hardest part of your last break up? Realizing I still wasn't "ready" or "fit" for a successful relationship. What brought you out of the hardest period in your life? As strange as it sounds, my suicide attempt put it into action. I was obviously hospitalized for a while, and then I was brought into a month-long partial hospitalization program that has a fucking genius psychiatrist, and I also had daily therapy as long as school days during the week. It was the intense help I needed. What's your favorite kind of smiley face? (: Does anybody know your deepest darkest secret? My old therapist and maybe my mom; I can't remember if I told her. Did you ever watch Rugrats? (the babies) I LOVED that show! I even had two of the video games. What about Hey Arnold? Ugh, I hated it, but I think my little sister did, or we just watched it if we couldn't find anything else. Do you like pep rallies? NO. NO. NO. My teachers always understood that they really stoked my anxiety and allowed me to opt out of going. I'd just stay in the classroom and read or something. Have you ever had pneumonia? No. What do you feel about surgeries? Do they worry you? I fear anesthesia awareness, but not to a debilitating degree or anything that makes me panic beforehand or anything like that. Do you play Minecraft? if so, feelings about servers? Never have, and not interested. Do you read creepypastas? Nah. Do you think vlogging in public is scary? It seems awkward as FUCK to me. Even alone. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? No. What social class would you say you're in? I think we're actually near the poverty line (or were, idk anymore, Mom slipped it before), so definitely lower. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. How do you feel about guns? They scare me. What's the most traumatizing event that ever happened to you? A very abrupt and poorly-executed breakup while being madly in love to the point of obsession with the person. Are you faint to the sight of blood? No. Do you like spicy food? Yes. Do you have good dreams or nightmares more? Well, considering I was woken up by myself shrieking my lungs out this morning, guess. It seemed for a little bit that my nightmares were chilling out, but I guess not. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? Does my mother telling me I'm saying too many "f-bombs" count? I dunno otherwise. What’s your second favorite color? Maroon. Do you ever wish you lived in a different country? Hey Canada, mind adopting me? Who’s the last person you “pounded” fists with? Ha, I think my nephew. Have you ever been involved in an affair? No. Wait, maybe? Does the Joel thing count? We never even physically met each other, we were just being idiot kids flirting over text messages. You be the judge, ig. How many times a week do you speak to your boss? I don’t have a job. What do you want for your birthday? Just donate to my tattoo fund lmao. Having to get my laptop fixed fucked up my plans yet again... Have you ever been to a masquerade? No. Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? A handful, yeah. Who in your phone has a heart after their name? Just Sara does. Anything you’re avoiding? Always. After breaking up, what’s the worst? Letting go if you're the one who still has feelings. Does your sibling have a significant other? I don't know if my brother does, or the half-sister I've never met. Another sister is engaged, and two are married. Nicole is single, though. She's smart as hell about who she dates; she's probably pickier than me. Do you use Skype? Just to talk with Sara. Are you a fan of acrylic nails? I wouldn't wear them, but they look fine on some people. Except when they're square shaped. Name one happy song that describes you better than any other. "Get Up" by Mother Mother comes to me first. Name one sad/mellow song that describes you better than any other. Haha I connect with a lot of sad songs and would honestly rather not dig through 'em right now. What is your most used pick up line? None, they're all awful. Do you like the taste of alcohol? Noooooo no no. The only alcoholic drinks I like are very weak and sweet. What kinds of food make you sick? So this probably sounds so stupid, but "fancy" foods, like stuff with a lot of ingredients my body isn't used to, I guess. My stomach is very finicky with foods, so it's easy to make this list.

[gumnut-logic]

The Dentist (pt14)

Okay, warnings for child abuse and nasty dentistry in this bit. I haven’t gone into great detail, but if you think this could be upsetting to you, please don’t read.

Still not the last bit, but we are getting closer. I hope this lives up to your expectations. There should be more to come. I have four days off work (yay!) and I plan to make use of them...when children are not demanding Minecraft and puzzle solving or incessantly talking in my ear (gotta love ‘em :D).

Oh, John was a little odd in this one, bit of a ghost...he will have more input in the next bit, I think.

Anyway, thank you all for your wonderful support ::hugs you all like squishy marshmallows :D :: I hope you enjoy this bit...well, as much as you can considering the topic.

From here.

-o-o-o-

Scott felt nothing but dread.

A quick trip to the showers, clothing and a word to John and he returned to the comms room like an executioner going to a beheading.

John, by his side, squeezed his shoulder.

To his surprise Virgil had relocated out onto the balcony. The sun was setting behind them and presenting a glorious pink sky over the ocean. The soft sounds of approaching night and the cool breeze calmed his hackles just a little. Virgil had moved a couple of deck chairs out onto the balcony. When he looked up and saw John, he stood up and grabbed another one.

A small table was full of food and Scott vaguely realised it was actually dinner time.

Gordon and Alan were conspicuously absent.

“Scott, John, have a seat. I’ve raided the pantry. Gordon and Alan are having a video game tournament in Alan’s room.” It was said with the scoff that made it obvious that Virgil knew they were missing for a reason. “Sit down and eat something.”

Scott was anything but hungry, but he did as his brother asked anyway, grabbing a slice of bread and throwing some ham, cheese and a little mustard on it.

He watched Virgil as his brother sat down with a bowl of soup. “Where did you get that?”

“Out of a can.”

Scott made a mental note to put together some more edible soft foods for the next few days.

John grabbed three beers out of the cooler stashed beside the table and handed one to each of them. Scott popped the cap and swigged a good mouthful. The cool bubbles on the back of his throat were wonderful.

But he was delaying the inevitable.

Virgil was gingerly scooping lukewarm soup into his mouth. The occasional wince proof that it was anything but comfortable.

Brown eyes flickered in his direction and frowned. “Eat your dinner, Scott.”

He didn’t answer, but shoved his sandwich in his mouth and chewed.

It was tasteless.

With half a bowl of soup left, Virgil winced one last time and put the bowl down and closed his eyes.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine. Just need to take it slow. Not my first mouth injury.”

No, it wasn’t. Scott’s heart clenched.

The sandwich slapped on the plate and was discarded on the table. A glance at John and Scott realised his younger brother hadn’t even bothered to put any food together and was just sucking on his beer bottle.

They were a sad trio.

“So, you going to tell me what has all of you so riled up?” Virgil stood up and put some covers over the food.

A gull screeched in the distance.

The breeze danced across Scott’s arms and raised goose pimples.

Virgil sat down on the edge of his lounger and turned to face him. “Please tell me. I can’t bear to see the fear in your eyes any longer.”

His heart leapt into his throat. He sat up and mirrored Virgil’s position, sitting on the edge of his lounger. John, silent as ever, slipped around and sat next to Virgil, his presence reassuring.

And insurance.

Scott swallowed. “Do you remember Grandma Taylor?”

Virgil blinked as if surprised. “Sure. How could I forget? She had a blue mohawk. Kinda unforgettable.”

The thinnest of smiles curled the corners of Scott’s lips. “Yeah, she was.” The ultimate source of Virgil’s artistic streak and entirely to blame for the horrible neo-punk era of Virgil’s early teens. She influenced from beyond the grave to the point Scott thought his brother might be haunted by her.

“What about her?”

The smile disappeared.

“Do you remember how you got your eyebrow scar?”

Virgil blinked. “Yeah, helping Grandpa Taylor with his vintage car. Tripped over and encountered his toolbox. Nearly took out my eye on the latch.”

“Did you hurt anything else?”

-o-o-o-

Virgil stared at Scott. The incident itself was pretty clear in his mind because of the scar he had to look at every morning in the mirror. He could remember the old car with its ancient canvas canopy and the wiggly windows he could barely reach. It had been a green car, but for the life of him, he had no idea what make or model. He couldn’t remember seeing it again after that incident. Which was odd since Grandpa Taylor had been so enamoured with it.

‘Helping’ was a far too generous word for what Virgil had actually been doing. Wandering around the car, poking his fingers into things that four year old fingers probably shouldn’t have been poking in. He remembered Grandpa lifting him into the driver’s seat and for a few brilliant moments he had been the driver of the stationary vehicle.

Why he had been running was forgotten, but the sudden airborne feeling and loss of control followed by a blast of pain...he remembered that.

His mouth twinged and he realised he was gritting his teeth. “No, just my head.” He fingered the scar on his left eyebrow. “Hurt like the bejesus.”

“You had stitches.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure you didn’t hurt anything else?”

A frown. “I don’t think so. Had a headache for days afterwards though.”

Scott looked awful.

“What is it?”

His brother looked away a moment as if steeling himself before catching his eyes. “You say you don’t know why you are afraid of the dentist.”

Virgil straightened, immediately tense. “No, I don’t know why. It’s a phobia, Scott, it doesn’t need a reason. It is not logical, but no less terrifying.”

Scott held up a hand. “Hey, you know I respect that. If there had been any other way, I would have taken it.”

Lips thinning, Virgil didn’t comment on that. Too raw.

“But I think we found a reason.”

“What?”

Scott swallowed visibly. “After you got your stitches, Grandma Taylor took you to the dentist.”

A blink. “No, she didn’t.”

“Eos found the records.”

“I had a bad reaction to the local anaesthetic they gave me for the stitches. You know how I react to drugs. Grandma took me home and I slept it off.” He’d been stuck in his bedroom at Grand Roca for days, his face aching, his mouth sore...

“No.”

Scott hand wrapped around his arm. “The records say that you attended the dentist and had a filling and a tooth repair.”

“I don’t have any fillings.” Okay, technically not true anymore, thanks to the crown installed yesterday.

“They were in your baby teeth.” Scott’s fingers tightened just a little as John handed him a tablet with a photograph on it. “Do you remember this man?”

Virgil’s eyes landed on a middle aged, balding, smiling face.

And he was stumbling backwards, tripping over the lounger he had been sitting on, scrabbling to get purchase and get out of there. Hands caught him and for a second he was there, strapped in a chair, bright light glaring into his eyes, that smooth voice sickly sweet and encouraging each time he cried out.

“Virgil!”

Scott. His beloved big brother was holding him. He was sprawled on the hardwood floor. His brother’s heart pounded in his ear as Virgil slowly wilted against him. “Who was that?” He squeezed his eyes shut, confused at his reaction, the terror, and the question of why.

John curled up and sat in front of the two of them. “He was the dentist.”

“What did he do to me?” It came out high pitched and fear-filled.

Scott’s arms tightened around him as he answered. “We don’t know.” This time he felt his brother swallow. “Six months after your visit, a five year old boy died in that chair and Dr Leonard Bornstein was found responsible.”

“Leo. Doctor Leo.” It came out so dry and parched it hurt his throat. He could see the smile now, above him as he cried. “What did he do?”

Those arms tightened around him again. “He was a sadist. He tortured children and he was in the perfect position to do it. When questioned he blamed it on childhood fears and misbehaviour.”

“Grandma didn’t believe me.” It came out in a rush, memories stabbing at him. “I was too sensitive. Needed to toughen up.” Oh god. He squeezed his eyes shut at the betrayal, self doubt and shame. “Let me up. I need to get up.”

Scott’s arms loosened around him and Virgil struggled to his feet. Both his brothers stood, both obviously worried about him and staring at him like he was a fragile explosive about to go off in their faces. He straightened forcing some strength into his spine. He was no longer a kid. “Alan said he died?”

John spoke up. “Several years ago, in a psychiatric prison.”

“Why were we never contacted about this?”

“There was no court case, the diagnosis was enough. He pleaded guilty and disappeared into the system.”

“A child died.” In that chair, with the drill, its high pitched whine humming in his bones, touching down on his teeth, his gum, the taste of blood in his mouth, fat fingers prodding at the back of his throat prompting him to gag...

His stomach rolled and his body complied, his sparse dinner making a return trip. He barely made it to a potted plant before losing it all.

Acid burned in the back of his throat as he tried to choke on himself.

A hand rubbed his back as a glass of water and a box of tissues appeared beside him. His already sore teeth screamed blue murder and he took the water gratefully, washing his mouth with its coolness. The headache that had threatened earlier in the day took advantage and settled in, the left side of his head pounding to the beat of his heart.

The hand continued to rub his back.

“God, this sucks.”

“Yeah, it does. I’m so sorry.”

“Well, at least I have a reason.”

Scott drew him close, wrapping his arms around him again, a large hand holding his head to his big brother’s shoulder. “Yeah, you have one hell of a reason.”

-o-o-o-

TBC

[punishedvenomsnake]

You are one in a MINION! Send this to ten friends you think are simply bananas!

Hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to episode one of Jermacraft, the series where I play Minecraft.

This is gonna be a singleplayer let's play and when I say let's play I use that term... pretty loosely because I'm an idiot in this game - you're gonna see lots of fails, you're gonna see lots of triumphs, at least I'm hoping.

So go grab yourself a nice hot cup of coffee, hot cup of cocoa. I've got apple cider right here freshly brewed, let me take a sip.

sip

Ah that's good cider. Alright, so let's get this started - create new world.

World name is going to be... JermaCraft! Sounds about right, eh ok...

Game mode is going to be suurvii- survival, that's the most interesting I think.

More world options- seed for world generator ok this is important!

I gotta name this something crazy to get cool structures and stuff.

Gonna name it... umm... how about,

"DiamondsAreForever"

"LOL"

"cheese"

uh "BURGAH".

Alright, there's- that's our world generator seed, "DiamondsAreForeverLOLcheeseBURGAH"... Done!

Alright let's see what happens, create new world let's do it guys. 'Building terrain' oh my god this is so exciting this is episode one!

I wonder... I wonder where we're gonna end up... Where are we gonna end up?

Ok... what- what? Where the hell am I? I spawned on top of a mountain top! Ok hold on, sound has to be lowered, definitely...

Mkay, a lil' bit of that, a lil' bit of that... maybe a little lower! That sounds about right. Alright!

So, uh, apparently I spawned on top of a mountain... I kinda- this is a good seed!

What's that? We're going to explore it right now - GO!

dies from fall damage

Oh! jerma laugh

... Heheheh... Alright we're going to try that again. This time I'm not gonna miss... I wanna get down to tha- that's the home right there, I wanna live right there.

Don- I don't even have to explore, see if I can't do this... I gotta, hold on... I got an idea, I got a plan.

JermaCraft episode one, this is how we do it! You guys ready? I don't know if you- I don't know if you guys are actually really ready for this!

Here we go! I'm going for a skydive. Remember if you hold shift you don't fall off... That's something I didn't know when I used to livestream this game...

wheeze Heh heh! You guys ready? Ready to go see our new home?

jerma laugh

Alrighty then... What the hell is that? Oh it's an octopus... Look at this quaint little place... I love it already! Heh heh! Alrighty...

So- oh.. exhalation I'm so stupid! Y'see I'm- this is why... this is why I'm an idiot guys... y'see, why would I... I need to get wood! And I just jumped off th- ok...

Remember this... Where are we, pointing east? I have no idea.

Gotta get some trees... That's the most important part of Minecraft you gotta get trees, that's the first thing you gotta get.

Lemme take a sip of my apple cider...

sipping sounds

Oh that's good stuff!

Hopefully you guys picked up a thing of coco like I told you to because that's the most relaxing thing in the world, sitting down, playing videogames... doesn't get much better than that.

Ah ok, c'mon now! Oooh, we got sand too! Now, explain this to me alright?

Alright I want Notch to send me a personal email, and explain to me why there are cows that are acting like Mountain Lions...

I'm gonna kill each one of those cows in just a minute, you watch.

fall damage

Ow... Well at least there's one tree over here... Gotta remember, I gotta go back that way, cause that's where the, the house is gonna be... My awesome dirt house!

So if you are an OLD subscriber, I mean really old, like at least four months ol- month- four... ffweehh four or five months. You'll remember the original JermaCraft it was like two episodes...

And I built a dirt house. This is gonna be completely different I'm going to actually spend time... and make some cool stuff. At least that's what I'm pretending that I'm gonna say that.

Got some wood... aw I got Geno still (his Minecraft skin) from Mario RPG, one of the best games of all time. If you have never played Mario RPG I suggest you play it.

Alright, got some wood, I need more trees over here I can... dig up. I'll get this one too.

excruciatingly slow wood punching

One more and we'll make our way back.

more wood punching

So I guess they added a hunger feature now too if- if you're hungry, you... you die? ... Or something, I guess? Who knows?

even more wood punching

Little bit more wood... And in my livestreams I- I was, always a tradition that when I played this game I would sing a song when things got really boring.

So that seems like the perfect opportunity right now to sing a song, so uh lemme just prep my vocal chords for a second...

sips apple cider

clears throat

Ok... So we're getting wood right now right?

(In Jazz Tune) doodoo, doo doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo doo dooo doo doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doo (kh), doooo.

We're chopping wood down!

(kh) doodoo, doo (kh).

Every single day...

(kh) doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo.

I gotta get my tools!

(tch) m'doo (kh)

Any which way.

(tch) doodoo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo doo doo.

I can't seem to reach this stupid piece of wood, so I gotta put some blocks down to get where I should...

I'mgonnachopem.

(tch) d'dnn, (tch) nhh, (tch) nhhh~

I'm gonna chop right now.

nhh, (tch) nhh, (tch) doooonnnh~ doodooonnh~ doon, (tch) doon, (tch)

fall damage

Alright that's enough... Got it! Let's get the hell outta here! Yaaay!~ splash So those of you that don't think that's gonna be a good spot- you'll see...

I'm gonna build that up to be like a castle! So here's the goal... by Christmas time of this year, 2011, I wanna have... a giant castle like as big as that, uhh, that mountain over there...

begins breaking blocks

So let's clean this up a little bit. Why don't we huh? Yeah alright, alright! ... Maybe put a little bit of dirt down here... Make sure I can y'know...

D- did I really run out of dirt? Wonderful... My first wooden tools. It's just like going to your first day of school... And get, punched in the face by the bully...

Speaking of bullies... I got a funny story for you. First ever story on JermaCraft! While I do this mundane stuff.

So... when I was like in the fourth grade, there was a kid that lived down the street from me, his name will- will stay anonymous, because... y'know I don't want him to like- if he watches these videos- I don't want him to come, like, beat me up.

Not that he would ever remember this to begin with... but I- I was probably like the fourth grade... And eh, swallows I was a little S-word guys I was a little- I was a little... little jerk when I was younger.

So essentially what happened, was- this kid, he was a big, big, fat kid: scary, not very nice. And my brother got in like a fight with him, like a looong time before this v- when I was like the second grade my brother's a little bit older than me...

And lemme pick this up.

So my brother got in a fight with this kid and... and... and like I heard about it. And so at the bus stop one day, cause we were at the same bus stop because he lives right down the street from us. At leas- at least he did, I don't know if he does anymore.

So... I dunno why- I was in the fourth grade this so much of a little jerk I was. So my grandmother used to pick me up from school, after I got from the bus stop...

Because y'know obviously you don't wanna walk- y'know, the mile and a half back to your house or whatever it is, mile... Cause the bus stop wasn't that close.

So my grandma used to pick me up, and he was at the bus stop as well, and one day I decided that out of the back window, I was going to give him a double middle finger, as I was driving with my grandmother one day.

I dunno why- I don't even know why I did it guys I can't- I can't tell you one reason why I gave this kid the double middle finger. And from that day forward, he just kinda gave me the w- like a weird look like "What? The hell are you doing?"

And from that day forward I would RUN. RUN, as fast as I could to the bus stop, and away to the bus stop where my grandmother was gonna pick me up, and it was like that for almost six months.

And he never beat me up or anything like that he, eh- he, I- I he- I don- I don- I was like, overreacting.

Actually hold on a second I don't need this... What am I doing with this? I was just putting blocks down! Actualy nonono, I was- I was doing the right thing. I want- I want these. Cause I wanna make like a wall kind of...

Let's keep that going. So yeah, so I guess the moral of the story is, never give the double middle finger to a bully. Cause, you'll be scared for the rest of your life.

And I still am scared, when I like open my doors to like, go and get the groceries... I'm scared. That bully's gonna come get me for me... givin' him the bird.

Yeah- yeah that is actually a true story I did not make that up it- I was scared for like, at least six months. And nothing ever happened either, and like- like I didn't get beat up or anything, so...

Alright now. Is there- is this all- is this gonna go straight down into... ok cool. C-o-o-o-o-l! I'm gonna make a little mine here!

hisses

It's getting late... it's getting late and when it gets late that's when Jerma starts to lose.

starts digging 4x4 hole straight down

I don't think I've ever made it past one night in this game when people are watching. I really don't think it's happened.

ambient cave sound

Is that- Ooh, there's a mine somewhere around here... Pretty sick! Oh jeez- it's right here! Ohohohoh! Nice! Maybe there's coal right here too, that'd be pretty awesome!

Oh my god, Creeper! Creeper get the hell outta here! I'm gonna kick your butt! Y'know yeah- yeah blow up! Go on, go on what do you think I care?

You can't hurt me I got a shovel! I'm gonna shovel your face in-

creeper explodes and takes off more than half of Jerma's health

gasp

... Ok well that's done. chuckles There's not coal just right here somewhere? There has to be... See this is why they always tell you, right when you start, you need to go get coal, you need to go get wood and everything, but I was too busy talking about a bully... me giving him the middle finger.

So looking- I'm trying to see if I can see coal, sometimes it's just right on the edge of these mountains...

stares into pitch black

Hmmmm... I am not pleased! ... Let's at least do this. I need a sheep too, I need wool! I'm being a real piece of crap...

[grizbehr]

Paths

This is a bit of a long post, so I’m going to put it under the fold so it doesn’t clutter up anyone’s dashboards. It’s a personal history post about how certain things affect others. It’s mostly because I find it interesting how the choices you make lead you to where you are and if I don’t put it down it will stay in my head.

Back in the late 70s, early 80s, I went to Summer Camp in Texas. Wasn’t really enthused about it as I’m a very solitary individual. One Summer, one of the other campers had the AD&D DM Guide. He tried to get someone to play and for some reason, I decided to give it ago. He wasn’t a very skilled DM (it was still new to him as well), but he did make the game enjoyable. Enough so that when I got home I got the Basic set (not really understanding the difference between Basic and AD&D at the time). For the most part, I just created characters and created stories about them. One day my stepfather offered to play, so I DM’d my first session. Over the years, friends joined in and a small group played every couple of weeks. This lasted through college where I would play (instead of going to class sometimes). After college, life happened and while the groups kept playing (not just D&D but Shadowrun, CyberPunk, BattleTech and others), the session got fewer and fewer until they just stopped. I still enjoyed the game but could never find time or another group to play with so I fell back into my solitary mode.

During a slow day at work, I came across a video on YouTube of Kids React to VCRs from Fine Brothers. I enjoyed it and watched others. Eventually, they showed The Last of Us Walkthrough. While I’ve never been big on Video Games, it was an interesting story. I considered getting a PS4, but really couldn’t justify the expense for just one game. Eventually, I had enough Gift Cards from birthdays and Christmas to get one so I went ahead and did it. I didn’t get The Last of Us right away, however. The first game I got was Horizon Zero Dawn and after playing it, I was hooked. I looked for other games like it and came across the Lara Croft and the Uncharted Series. After I played them a couple of times, I looked for others and came across Infamous: Second Son. While playing, I found the voice of Fetch familiar so I looked up the voice actress to see where I’d heard it before and came across the incomparable Laura Bailey.

This led me to discover Critical Role. At first I was stumped why anyone would watch someone play D&D, but I decided to give it a try. It didn’t take long for the first season to captivate me, so much that I stopped watching regular TV so I could watch Season 1 throughout (that’s a lot of hours). Eventually I got caught up with Season 2 (I didn’t start watching it until I finished Season 1 so I was a little behind). Caught up, I looked for other games I could watch, but I couldn’t get interested in them.

Then, one day on my Facebook feed, I saw a post showing Matt Mercer guest starring on a game run by Zac (Snugglelord) called Kollok 1991. I decided to give it a try and found myself enjoying it, so I went back to the beginning and binged it. Quickly came to adore Mickey Jones and, much as had happenedd with Laura Bailey, I looked up the player and found Shelby Grace aka Shubble.

I checked out her YouTube and while I wasn’t that interested in her Minecraft content, her other videos (UNO with the Boyz, Cooking Trouble, her VLOGS) were entertaining. I came to adore her cheerful voice and positive personality. Because I have lost interest in regular TV, I put on her videos during the day (I work from home) just to have noise while I worked. Eight hour days listening to 20-30 minute videos ate through her content fairly quickly, so I decided to start listening to her Minecraft videos even though I had no real interest in the game.

So now I’m in the situation where her infectious nature and pure joy in playing it has me intrigued in Minecraft. Even though I am still not an overly social person, I am interested in the building aspects of it. Much as with the PS4, I’m trying to justify the expense, but my doubts are weakening. I suspect it won’t be long until it happens and we’ll just have to see where that leads. And it all started with a Summer Camp I wasn’t really interested in going to.

[mattkenzie]

Games of the Decade (2010-2019 Edition)

So since 2020 is approaching, I thought I’d make a list of games that I’ve played during my journey, the year is 2010 I was about 23 years old (on the cusp of being 24) and I’ve decided to stop playing World of Warcraft for my own physical and mental health (you see I never thought that this would happen to me being addicted to that game for so many years that I have shunned away from society, I gave up on humanity, I didn’t want to go out and celebrate with my ‘friends’ and Azeroth became my home for the past 6 years and it became an unhealthy obsession that one day I’ve collapsed at home and woke in a hospital.) When the doctors were swarming around my bed asked me “Can I remember what happened to me before I collapsed?” the answered but then they bombarded me with more questions... I wanted to scream “STOP!”, until one doctor (a psychiatrist) overheard my story and had an emergency 1-to-1 session with him, he even asked the ‘right questions’ (funny how we can say the wrong answers... but the wrong questions? Made me laugh.) The phychiatrist smiled and said “Welcome back”.

So I’ve decided to quit World of Warcraft and started to readjust to society that my Mum gave me an XBox 360. Now I was overwhelmed by the choices I didn’t know where to start (granted I had the Wii and now an XBox 360) I was really lost in thought until someone actually wanted to talk to me I shall call him ‘Dan’ and we hit it off “Yes, I do look like I am lost you see I am a recovering World of Warcrack addict and I am given an XBox 360, what games do you recommend?” and this is when Dan got out Borderlands, Fallout, Fallout: New Vegas (2010 Honourable Mention) and Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 (2010). You see Dan’s preferred genre is Shoot ‘em ups and I on the other hand tend to enjoy RPGs so I got the best of both worlds.

Mass Effect 2 has this system where if you played and completed Mass Effect you can import your save file, get some additional perks and pick up where you have left off. I seem to like that concept where “Do I need to play the first game to play and understand the story?” to me the answer is “yes” as you gain additional content but it’s the iconic “suicide squad mission”

So we are at 2011 and Minecraft (2011 Honourable Mention) is in it’s infancy and even though I’ve played it later, I enjoyed watching the Yogscast’s “Shadow of Israfel” series and there are times when I occasionally watch a YouTube video looking at other people’s creations (“Man, I need to get myself a copy of Minecraft when I finish my games of the decade.” —Matt. But only 2 games have approached me and they are Xenoblade Chronicles (2011) and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (2011). With the Wii going into retirement and even though Super Mario Galaxy 2 (2011 Honourable Mention) is a popular title in the Wii library... I went down the niche path and picked Xenoblade Chronicles is the perfect swan song for the Wii and one of my all time favourite games that I’ve enjoyed playing. There are many things that Xenoblade Chronicles has offered me and what appealed to me are...

The amazing soundtrack (where it has music for the day and the night cycles)... I tend to use the nighttime music to help me go to sleep.

The unique world building, where Homs, Nopon and (there is this race of angels I can’t remember what they are called) live on these dead gigantic titans Bionis and the Mechonis.

A story that started out Shulk wanting revenge but that revenge eventually turned into understanding.

With Skyrim I ALWAYS seem to find my way coming back to this game as it gives me a ton of replay value that I even create my own D&D characters and put them in Skyrim. Whenever I am stressed with the latest releases I sometimes pop in Skyrim and go on all these adventures and explore and when I had enough I know I can always go to Whiterun and stay in Breezehome. I sometimes go on YouTube to watch my Grandma play Skyrim (OK she is not biologically my Grandma but she adopted/treated us like her grandkids).

During this 4 year skip all the way to 2014 and I’ve developed an awesome relationship with Dan for 5 years and I moved out of my parents house in 2011 (I was suffocating in my parents house (my sister was hit by clinical depression and my brother got kicked out of his flat by his knife weilding maniac of a wife) I am an adult and I NEED my own space so what did I get for a housewarming gift? Borderlands 2 (2014) I still have the loot box. But my independence was short lived by my roommate who I shall call William and he was so toxic to me and my friends who come round to visit, there was an incident when I left the house he goes into my room and steals my belongings (I know had to lock my bedroom door) It was Thanksgiving when I was in need of rescuing and William was becoming domestic abusive towards me and Dan’s Dad Scott who was visiting from the States felt a disturbance in the force... he felt that I was in danger and he was right. I had to move into a new flat (I was happy to live on my own) Dan saw it, my parents saw it and even my support workers saw how crappy/unhappy I was. When I moved into my new flat, Dan gave me a parting gift Shovel Knight (2014)

Now 2015 I have picked up the pieces that I’ve lost and rediscovered my sense of self after how much William warped mine for a few years and I’ve finally move on from it. With Dan moving back to the States and I picked up a copy of The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt (2015) on a later date (I personally never thought it be be ported onto the Switch) I developed the concept that humans can be monsters (even in politics) and monsters can have a shred of humanity.

With 2017 was was hoping for Persona 5 to be released on Valentines Day but it was rescheduled and for me who has 8th Grader Syndrome (I know when to keep my Chunnibyou dormant and when to let my hair down and embrace it when the time is right) I enjoyed the story of how us millennials and Gen Z get to be viewed as degenerates. With the Wii U going into retirement I got the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and although not entirely my favourite Zelda title... I am a person who loves to have direction/structure and more importantly story (and not just charge into Hyrule Castle and fight Calamity Ganon) to have that amount of freedom and I can easily get distracted “Oooh let’s have a look over there!” I regret not giving Super Mario Odyssey (Honourable Mention) a chance nor gave it a fair shake, I bought the Switch because both of the joy-cons are uniform (I was leaning towards getting the grey but red spoke out to me the loudest).

2018 Super Smash Bros Ultimate need I need to say more? OK, I enjoyed the opening song Lifelight... Everyone is here (to have Roy from Fire Emblem) I even loved seeing the DLC fighters not being exclusive to Nintendo (Atlus) Joker from Persona 5, (Rare) Banjo Kazooie, (Square) ‘Hero’ from the Dragon Quest series, (SNK) Terry Bogard from Fatal Fury... although I wanted the Garou: Mark of the Wolves costume added into the equation.

2019 was the year that hit me hard the most Fire Emblem: Three Houses reminded me that I need to cherish the friends I have, I grew up with them since school and college but we all went on our separate paths. Some are married, some started have a family, some have jobs and some have moved to a different country. When I dumped my old friends that I grew up with since my childhood (but felt left out all the time) for new ones that I known for a decade as adults (and had a lot in common and felt that I was included.) So when Dan died in 2019... I felt a huge piece of me was ripped away from me... the man who exposed me to console gaming... I am never going to see him again.

[suburban-satan]

shit my friends say

So I made a list of all the wild shit my friends say, started in January 2018 and still going. It's one year old I guess? Well, enjoy what I have so far!

2018 -d a d d y w i s e -well there’s chains on the ground so that must mean this was a kinky sex dungeon -GORSH MICKEY NOT MY G SPOT -I can wait until I turn 40 so I can troll Japanese Girls on roblox -what if we all looked like mike wizowski but our heads were the same size as they are now -I wanna give pot to a bird -I take pills without water -daddies cummie wummies are the best cummie wummies -enjoy your nonexistent stomach acid -cum glaze -I hope you choke on MY meat -who hasn’t been on pornhub -(wipes tears away and starts belting despacito) -MY GAY IS BEING TRIGGERED -that omelet looks delouse -is semen a liquid or solid -iTs nOt aQuaNauTs yOu uNculTurEd fOoK -vaginas are scary -what is menstruation -you should change your name to pussy something -my gay has been activated -“have you ever owned a vibrator?” “No” “would you like to rent one” -“do you like glazed or cream filled” -wHaT dOeS cUm sOuNd LiKe -he is on too much fertilizer -sometimes cum is hot I know from experience -if you jerked off at the speed of sound would your dick be on fire -I don’t have a sonic fetish -can your dick ignite because of the heat of your cock -aren’t dicks like cannons -who the fuck draws a glowing peepee on a skeleton -honey Freddy freaker is dancing in the living room -does penis smell like garlic -she don’t swallow in this household -*downloading garrison nudes* -don’t you realize that tentacle porn is just using octopus arms as a dildo -frickle my nipples -Minecraft porn consists of the male genitalia replaced with a stick -OOPSIE WOOPSIE!! Uwu We make a fucky wucky!! A wittle fucko boingo! The code monkeys at our headquarters are working VEWY HAWD to fix this! -“I’m big for an asian” -cockilicous -“His anal glands need milking” -fready flipper -FREADY FAPPER -daddy better make me choke -does Freddy freaker have a mutated alien dick -sonic breaks the sound barrier by beating his meat -the sun looks like it’s gon vore you -bootyhole exploration -is megalovania sex music -i like to drink cock -cum is just genital snot -penis musk -Shid piz and farbt -Bull + shit = sis it don’t add up -Hey don’t tell me at least once in your life you haven’t thought about being gently caressed across the genitalia by the kraken -I swallow boba like i swallow cum -I wuv fungus kun, the way he waps a awond my tosie wosies so tight! He’s gibing me a huggie!!!! Fungus kun gibes my tosies a new color too!!!! Wat a good fungus kun make my doki doki go “ UAU” heeheehee -eating banana with the banana peel -orang juce -father I want cheddar -don’t you just look at someone and think about how long their neck is -breathing is just boneless vaping -get outta here juuling criminal -yall ever succ a dick for juul pods -unironically drawing miss piggy -“Jack don’t let go 😱🤭🤭, jack sweetie 😐👀 if you let go 🙊🙈 you’re weave 🙀🙀 gone 😇😘💅” -I've been watching spooky movies for 5 hour -omg it’s daddy sans undertaker!!! -bröther -I ate my sister -are you'd's't've kidding me? -oh youtube please don't show me the shrek movies rn -My brother is calling me out on the family group chat for eating a bowl of peanut butter -Hamilton is best girl -get outta here you fuckin loyalist -what doesn’t cum have -drink flex seal and you won’t have to worry about a marriage -I feel water. -“Superfood or supergross? Is Sperm good?” -coochie hands gucci bands -just imagine trying to cast a spell and then you get disturbed by a banjo -toto africa is sex music now and everytime they say rain it’s just cum -y'all ever burp in your mouth and exhale it through your nose like a vaper -how dare them make my green senpai an honorable member of society -If you didn’t search big boobs video on google at least once are you really a Gen Z kid????? -laugh pussies -i’m watching the history of japan on pornhub -we have the same name because we are secretly the same person -what if you eat your phone and it’s all in your tummy -why would you ever think i’m not serious all the time you silly dragon but we’re both (my name) so we can be the silly dragon together -why would you wash your face before you go to bed when your tears wash it off for you *wooshing noises* -I want to drive a bus because I like busses -my shoe broke -why does everyone talk about the drugs i’m eating -i’m going to break her because she’s talking about smoking cocaine and I don’t like drugs -(stage whisper) metal heads live among us but we don’t know because they look like normal people -oh bye mr music teacher -the pussy? designer. cucci, if you will. -DID I HEAR S A N S P O R N -"i'm about to nay nay on your dead fucking corpse" -alert alert the toes are coming -you got a fucking problem with my 𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐬? -imagine using an oven for something designed for a microwave this post was made by the doesnt have much motivation gang -Please take my Minnesotan snow Wait that sounds like Minnesotan cocaine -when you funny scream -"dating the Bill of Rights for fun" is now exactly how I'm going to describe my hyperfixations -the penguin  from fruit loops is a twink (bitch its a toucan) -if white cheese exists is there black cheese -What’s rosum opossum -whale cum -dicko mode -(GETTIN SOME CHRISTMAS SPIRIT UP IN THAT PUSS) -pennies more like penis amirite -It’s Sunday don’t forget to squeeze cheese on the cat -the grinch is dr seuss’s fursona -everyone is gangster until the trees start speaking vietnamese -big chungus is my dad -“if the apocalypse happened what would you do” “eat bees” -I'm tired as fuck but I gotta wait until it's 4:20 to go to bed -mom: you need to be reasonable and wait two hours before having another brownie me, stuffing my mouth full of brownie: br o w n y s -This honey in whole foods is in fucking comic sans -it's more likely that I'll guess someone is gay before I remember the existence of women -im gonna say it again for the people in the back:

i eat bees -Thanos penis, it's actually called a thenis -yort -uwu its the mowst thorstiewst time of the yeaw uwu -It is I Teh gromc -The gronk is here to say eat all the dish soap in the house -the grinch but he's wearing crocs the entire time -answer my question or else i will establish sans porn -You make him doki doki uwaaaaa!!!! -birdbox but all the bird sounds are replaced by cardi b noises -THE GROMPK IS TOO POWERFUL -consume ocean sauce -square up in judge judys court -half consumes ocean sauce -ice juce -frick stick -you guys wanna read undertale fanfiction     -2019- -it might be 2019 but thats not gonna stop me from terrorizing my family's groupchat -(pineapple voice) first date idea: digest eachother -Wait dennys will arrest you for doing illegal things?? -pls purify me -my toes are very succulent today -two succs having flex two succs having sex my muscles my muscles involuntarily checks -f u r r y , N a s h . -Perfect for all occasions! Spill something on your nice shirt, give a messy blowjob, and sphagetti!!! -Do you want cum on your nice shirt??? -it would be nice if i had cum on my shirt -cocc succ machine -I KNOW TONGUE JUTSU -I feel like i’m in a meat prison -hi you obese elephant -plant porn is just flowey porn -We all love the out of the box 4am messages we get -YOU LIKE SNAS PEEPEE

[frog-chemicals]

Green, Blue, Cinnamon, Periwinkle, Blush, Indigo, Fuchsia+Copper (Yes, both of it XP), Honeydew, Coral, Umber, Razzmatazz, Arsenic, Saffron, Timberwolf, Plum, Chartreuse and Burgundy 😊💖 and a bonus, from the 'homestuck ask meme' >> John, Roxy, Dave, Karkat, Terezi, Feferi ✨

Green: I think you’re cute.:0 Thanks. I think you’re a really great person too!

Blue: You’re my Tumblr crush. KJHGSGAKDHAKYES??????

Cinnamon: You’re a really cool person and I admire you from afar.

You’re like. Really awesome too??? We should really hang out some time! Or at least talk. We probably live in totally different countries so.. Yeah!

Periwinkle: You make me laugh You’re welcome! Also same :DBlush: Seeing you on my dash makes my day a little better. I’ll literally go “CV! CV! CV!” In my head like a huge idiot whenever I see you’ve liked a post. Very mutual feeling

Indigo: I’ve been following you for a while. Yeah! We’ve been mutuals for like… 3 months? I’m pretty sure you’re one of the only people who still interacts with me after that long. Fuchsia+Copper: Your content is gold/trash (and I love it).Definitely agree on that one

Honeydew: I want to call you by a nickname. There’s no way it can be shittier than anything my irl friends have come up with. Also you seem like a way too nice person to give shitty nicknames so I’m not stopping you!

Coral: You’re a meme. 👌👌👌👌

Umber: I want to know more about youWe should totally talk sometime!

Razzmatazz: I would share my favorite food with you.I take this as a big compliment because I either have people come to eat my food during lunch (only one person has succeeded and she never brings food herself so.. Can’t let my friends starve) or I’ll try to steal the food of people’s plates during dinner

Arsenic: I don’t know how to describe the way I feel about you. Fair. I don’t know how to describe myself either. Mainly “What the hell is this” tbh. You on the other hand. I also don’t know. You’re really great though.

Saffron: I love your ideas.How. What. Which ideas? I literally can’t remember having any sort of good plans

Timberwolf: I trust you.I honestly don’t know if I should say “Horrible idea” or thank youPlum: I’d like to chat with youHell yes. Let’s do this

Chartreuse: You’re my homie. Awww yeeeee.

Burgundy:I get excited when I see your posts.If you count seeing stuff getting liked. Big same

Bonus!:

John: Do you believe in ghosts?Fuck yes. There’s been so many things that could probably have a logical explanation but “ghost” is by far the easiest.

Roxy: What’s your all time favorite video game.

Honestly I have no clue. The only games I’ve actually been able to play myself lately have been Minecraft and Hiveswap because I don’t have anything but my crappy laptop (and an iPad) that I can use to play games on and the fact my mom refuses to buy 9/10 games for me. I also watch a lot of people playing games that I can’t so I can still enjoy them so that just adds on a whole lot. Just like I’ve said about characters in a previous post everything has its ups and downs to take into consideration. Also I’m very bad at deciding on things

Dave: What’s your favorite genre of music? I don’t really listen to a lot of music but whenever I get the chance it’s a kinda mixed up soup of stuff that sounded nice. At the moment I’ve mainly been listening to stuff like gorillaz, tøp, p!atd, etc. My dad also stated the tradition of waking me up by playing music from when he was younger which has also brought some pretty cool stuff.

Karkat: What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? Probably a day? I’m usually told to go to sleep whenever it’s late so I haven’t really been able to stay up at my full extent. It’s not really a great plan to test out though…

Terezi: Do you have a strong leaning towards justice? It depends on the situation. I’ve experienced a lot of people doing stuff that isn’t fair. I guess a quick example could be one of my teachers who send out a kid because HE wasn’t keeping to the rules. That rule being everyone respects everyone. He would call kids by their last name (not standard over here) and went they asked for him not to do so. One of my friends is very touchy about his last name because of his relationship to his father and he absolutely HATES as much as hearing it. The teacher ignored their requests and told them to leave class when they objected to getting called by their last name. He wasn’t even being respectful with the last names. It was like we were prison inmates or something. In these kinds of situations screw the teachers. They might be “above” us but they still need to keep to the rules like everyone else. Now I’ve just gone on another short rant. Sorry. I’m not really sure where I was going with that anymore but in a nutshell: Justice is different in everyone’s eyes

Feferi: Do you have any pets? Yes! My cat Watson. He’s more like a brother to me in all honesty seeing how my parents got him when I was 3-ish. Also one moment he can be the sweetest cuddle buddy while the other moment he doesn’t want to know about your existence. I used to have rats but they sadly don’t live very long. I think I’ve had around 8 in total. Not at the same moment though. They were always in pairs though since rants are group animals and always need a buddy. I had a mouse named Roxy for 2 days. She was a wild mouse that I managed to catch and put in a box. Then she escaped again and made more mice in the walls. Only really mentioning this because 10 year old me already had that name in mind