#my brain won't write
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Sorry to anyone waiting for Amanuensis updates! I have been traveling/jetlagged and sick but it's in the works! 😭😭
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#batjokes#Yay it's done :D Now I can stop thinking about it#the art style was an experiment with the old one#so you won't likely see anything like this in the future#I'm forever sticking with his (faux) innocent face and arkhamverse face : >#this is a fanfic that I've been thinking/plotting for a long time#but I didn't dare to write it bc I didn't have enough skills. An example of my body suffering from a lack of brain /j#fan comic
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Shen Yuan is the type of guy to get proposed to and brush it off with a "yeah sure. if you don't change your mind when you're older I guess lmao"
Little does he know but he has a husband because that little former street rat isn't letting go
#if you look closely#you can see the start of yet another au idea that I will not write#svsss#jiuyuan#scumcum#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#shen yuan#you might think this can apply to any ship with SY in it and you're probably correct#but take to account that I will always be talking about jiuyuan (unless I'm talking about BingFan)#the brainrot is terminal#these little gay men have eroded my brain to a smooth surface#there's mold in here big dawg 🧠👈#there's a fungus growing in here and its JiuYuan#i'm insane about them#they completely rearranged my brain chemistry in a way I won't be able to come back from#the brainrot is brainrotting#i'm beyond saving#I'm beyond dramatic#now for the obligatory tag→#ignore me im insane
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i think dead boy detectives might have actually altered my brain chemistry
like what do you mean after months of having no motivation to write, ive written 6 fics and i'm currently working on 3 more?? what the fuck
#these fucking characters man#they live in my brain and won't leave and i can't get enough of writing them#dead boy detectives#writing#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland#niko sasaki#crystal palace#palasaki
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matej doodle
#art#felvidek#felvidek fanart#i'm trying to learn to draw simple stuff so i won't spend days on arts and be frustrated with myself#but it turns out it's even worse when you are a perfectionist.#Man i just want to like my art in the end of the day#so frustrated i can't even write right but my brain isn't braining i won't bother
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SilverV as Onion Headlines
#cyberpunk 2077#cp2077#johnny silverhand#silverv#aidan becker#ship: mold on fruit#my patch won't download and my brain isn't working so I can't write or play vidya games BUT I CAN SHITPOST GOD DAMN IT
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She is offering water to any lost travelers! However, it's so hot that the water has become tea, so she's adjusted accordingly!
#neopets#neotag#neoart#kiko#slorg#aquanutart#this was for a western themed beauty contest last year! it was very fun! :D i'm so happy we were able to be part of it!#and by 'very fun' i mean it's completely exhausting and i can only handle participating once or twice a year#but it is very exciting too! she gave tea to everyone who stopped by. she was very happy to be able to help so many visitors!#i actually forgot until i checked whether this was from one or two years ago... my sense of time as an adult is --- *waves hand vaguely*#i'm so sorry for all the messages i didn't answer. specifically to the user who sent me a really kind message out of the blue#about how they got the slugawoo avvie from my quiggle's lookup. i didn't even know you could get the avvie from his lookup#so i was very happy to find out!! and i was happy there might be more people getting the avvie from his lookup i didn't know about#and i wanted to tell them how absolutely happy it made me and my brain said ' you should respond to this right away or you won't do it'#and i thought you fool. of course i'll make sure to do something this important#and i kept thinking about it for the past year and thinking i will do it. i will do it#but when i thought about writing the words that were floating in my mind the whole time i would feel blocked#this happens all the time and i'm sorry. it really does make me so happy#and then they deleted all the neomails but thankfully i had it saved so i still was able to find their username and send a message thankyou#i'm very glad
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Maybe a chengxian' meeting post-canon? Platonic or romantic, as you prefer
100 years later, I have given up and concussed Jiang Cheng in the name of love and yunmeng shuangjie reconciliation. You know, if it's not working, give it a smack!
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This wasn’t precisely the way that he had imagined this reunion going, reflected Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng lay across his lap, blood smeared dark against his forehead, face illuminated by a streak of moonlight.
Not that he’d imagined seeing Jiang Cheng again. Well—not on purpose—sometimes it crossed his mind, when he saw Jin Ling out of the corner of his eye. Something about the posture was very like Jiang Cheng as a teenager, if a little more brash and impulsive. Jiang Cheng had always been more hesitant in public, aware of the eyes on him.
Anyway, it had occurred to him, mostly against his will, when he saw Jin Ling or he smelled the sword oil Jiang Cheng had favoured (still favoured?) or someone mentioned Lotus Pier. He’d flung it away each time for some future version of him to deal with. Now the future was here, and it sucked.
Wei Wuxian squinted at the ray of moonlight. At least they wouldn’t be suffocated. The section of the cave they were trapped in had at least one opening that went up to the outside world.
They had tracked a very strange yao back to the cave where it lived, him and Lan Zhan and the juniors, and crossed paths with a Jiang team led by Jiang Cheng himself following the same kind of yao. Unfortunately, it seemed that they lived in packs. The resulting fight had gone badly. An over-eager hit from Lan Jingyi had smashed one into the wall, and that had triggered a cave-in, and now Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were alone in the dark together behind an enormous pile of rocks. On top of everything else, Jiang Cheng was unconscious, which Wei Wuxian really did not like.
The only thing he could think of to do was prop Jiang Cheng up in his lap and wait for him to come to. He didn’t know what Jiang Cheng would make of it when he woke up, but Wei Wuxian decided that he would cross that bridge when he came to it.
Jiang Cheng groaned and opened his eyes. “What happened?” he asked.
Wei Wuxian looked down at his face, and winced. Those pupils were not supposed to be different sizes.
“You took a hard hit to the head,” said Wei Wuxian, as cheerfully as he could. “Just stay still, will you? Rescue is on the way!”
He assumed, anyway. Lan Zhan wouldn’t just leave him here. He was very reliable like that.
“Rescue? Why the hell are we being rescued? What did we do this time?” complained Jiang Cheng. Something about his voice tugged at Wei Wuxian. It was less assertive that it usually was, tired, almost—whiny?
“You don’t remember?” said Wei Wuxian. This was bad. This was very bad. “There was a yao. Actually, there were quite a few yaos…”
Jiang Cheng let out a disapproving little huff. Distantly, Wei Wuxian noted that he had made no effort to get up from Wei Wuxian’s lap.
“If we’re late to dinner again, A-jie will be upset,” he mumbled.
Wei Wuxian froze. This was very bad indeed.
#if your shidi won't shidi just hit the reset button for his brain and see if that fixes it!#wei wuxian confronted with teenagememoriesonly!jiang cheng in pain: HOW DO I TORTURE THIS CAVE TO DEATH?#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#yunmeng shuangjie#chengxian#mdzs +#I wish you would write a fic ask game#ask game#my fanfic#least-carpet thoughts#that's your queue#asks
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I also did mock CGs of them for fun!!
(doppelgänger magni and vesper concepts)
#vtuber#holostars#holotempus#magni dezmond#noir vesper#I am so normal about the horror genre#magni's doppel route would've SLAYED#rattles my cage. THE CLONE LORE. THE CLONE LORE#I lowkey want them (the routes in my brain) to be connected#because magni is a doctor and vesper is death...#nobody get me started. I won't shut up#I LOVE PLAYING WITH CONCEPTS AND WORLDS#ugh and I could connect all of HQ's routes#the ending of alt's leads into mag's which leads into ax's which leads into ves'#IT'S A WHOLE CYCLE OF BEING CORRUPTED AND THEN HIT BY KARMA FOR IT#LET ME WRITE A TEMPUS VN. SOB#I don't have time for that. but I can dream
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H.K. & H.K. 🥹💖✨ khr x sanrio collab will always live rent-free inside my brain
#khr#katekyo hitman reborn#hibari kyoya#my last drawing for a while; i'll be dipping now bc of exams#logically speaking i definitely shouldnt have even done this art bc im struggling already#but im suffering from hibari withdrawal and my hand itches to draw him!!!#this will feed me for the next 2 weeks#anyway#this collab feeds at least three agendas in my brain#1) hibari is a cat type of person#2) hibari with cat ears agenda#3) canon/oc agenda bc of the apple pin on the necktie#(i know it's bc hello kitty's height and weight are in apple measurements + her fave is her mom's apple pie----)#(but listen...kana's main emoji symbol is an apple bc of her name hahaha + apple of knowledge symbolism bc of her lore where ----#*stops self b4 i write an eight paragraph (minimum) essay*#einart#this won't be the last time i'll draw this hibari ehehehe...#einhighlights
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INCUBUS ZHONGLI who's lacking energy and needed to feed caught your sweet scent when passing your apartment window which was open and sleeping peacefully was you. You were so helpless so easy to take advantage of so deliciously innocent to corrupt it's making him drool but he wants to take his time with you slowly make you fall for him and him alone. Over the course of 4 months he's been in your dreams giving you sensations you never felt before the overwhelming pleasure he gives you.
Dream after dream you always see him this mysterious man with brown hair golden eyes it was like he was sculpted by the gods like they were telling you he was your soulmate but you were so so wrong about him entirely, he is nothing but a demon a sex demon who will TAKE whatever he wants weither they come willing or by force.
It has been a year now that Zhongli has entangle you in his web and just like he wanted you know nothing but him only him and it was about time he showed you what he truly is and claim you as his mate where you can never think of escaping him.
~~Later that night~~
You were fast asleep naked in your bed (the day was hot and so was the night) when Zhongli entered your room in his true form golden horns that curve along his head, arms black with veins of gold running up along them, a long serpentine tail with ridges lining all the way to the tip with tuffs of fur and eyes that's like molten gold glowing ever so brightly in the dark room
"Ah my dear jewel the time to claim you is now, you will be mine wholly for all eternity"
"Now then let's give you a little dream to loosen and wake you while I devour you"
~~In your dream~~
The sounds of high pitched moans and whines spill from your lips breathlessly begging the man between your thighs for more or to stop probably the former, he was devouring you like it was his last meal he'll ever get after cumming for the nth time face and chest covered in your slick, his tongue long and forked reached place you never knew that made you feel this good
"My dear don't tell me you're tired already and we haven't even begun this is just me preparing you for what's about to come"
After finishing his sentence his form started to change into that of a beast (a sexy beast at that🤤) that towers over you like a predator would to a prey with nowhere to escape
"It's time for you to wake up my darling"
~~End of dream~~
And when you come too the sight that greeted you was the man who you called Zhongli is eating you out like it was his last meal in a long time (which was true) but he was different his appearance changed into the beast from your dreams, it until you felt him suck harsh against your clit did you snap out of it letting out a whorish moan chuckling against you he said
"Finally you're awake darling I've been enjoying my meal for the past 15 minutes now let's continue where we left off in that dream of yours"
Did I mentioned that he is fucking HUGE both in size and girth with ridges on the underside of his cock no well now you know so that strench is going to leave you gaping that's for sure.
"I'm going mark and breed you until you're nothing but my little personal cumdump that'll take all of my cum whenever I want"
And with that he slowly push his cock in making sure you feel the ridges of his cock inch by inch until he's balls deep, letting out a cry and a few tears at the burning sensation of his cock strenching your cunt
"I-It hurts please it hurts"
"Shush it's okay my darling the pain the pass soon shush I'm going to take good care of you"
Whispering sweet nothings to you in hopes of helping you relax and adjust to the strench of his cock in that tight cunt of yours after a minute or two you tell him it's ok to move
"A warning to you my dear once I start I won't stop until I'm satisfied that I've fuck you senseless even if you pass out I won't stop is that understood"
"Yes I understand"
"Good then I shall not hold back"
You had lost count of how many times you've cummed that night probably around your 10th orgasm and yet Zhongli has cummed a total of 3 times and as pre his warning he did not stop even when you passed out from being overstimulated with orgasm after orgasm right after the other, Zhongli on the other hand had his fill of your energy but it wasn't enough he couldn't get enough of it he's addicted to it to you and he will never let you go after all he did claim you before you even knew of him by placing a special tattoo right on your womb after all you are his and his only😈
Oh one more thing incubus semen is more potent than human semen but let's keep this as a little secret 🤫
Did a little drawings of that very special womb tattoo couldn't decide which I like more both are the same but one has an extra detail to it
cw. total filth utc - you have been warned
oh to be incubus!zhongli's little darling whom he uses as he pleases as his personal fucktoy. oh to be utterly overwhelmed by his serpentine tongue, his ridged cock, his entire being. oh to be his little cumdump who gets filled up every single night, to be the vessel that carries his demihuman offspring... hskdjskjdlsjddl *grabby hands* gihb meeeeeeeeeeeeee
that second pic with childe... oooooghdjshfjsk what if. what if demon!childe caught on to what his friend has been doing? and he's so curious... what does this puny human look like, how captivating are you to make the normally so stoic and composed incubus so addicted? so he visits you one night and sneakily peeks from your window, and he sees you. such an obedient thing folded in half as you're being made to take a cock that's too big for your human pussy. babbling incoherently, eyes unfocused, singing so beautifully in such a sweet voice.
and oh, the way you beg when the demon teases you. the way you arch your back and pant like a bitch in heat as the dark fingers of his friend tweaks your pebbled nipples and pinches your raw clit. the way you apologize when you cum without permission and the delicious-looking tears cascading down your cheeks as you're made to lay across your bonded mate's lap, made to take the harsh slaps to your ass, made to choke around the ridged cock slathered with the mix of precum and your own releases from the previous rounds...
childe thinks he too, is captivated by you.
so who can blame him when he knocks on your window the next night, a sultry grin on his lips as he presents himself for you, offering you double the pleasure and some demonic magic that could spice up your night with your favorite incubus?
he's fine with third wheeling for now... eventually, you'll realize that he can give you more than what his friend can offer.
#rin answers#rin is having tea with: sheepmc#minors dni#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#rin writes#zhongli#zhongli x reader#childe#tartaglia#ajax#childe x reader#i read this and my brain went HEEEHOOOOOYEEEHOOOFILTH#i am#i am so blessed to have you sheepy have i ever said that yet#but anyway#i am so blessed#and that full pic of zhongli biting a condom as he towers over you and his dragon cock peeking out his pants??? FSDLKFJOUGRWOPJVUGOWEJG#i definitely won't be able to post that but#oh my gOD#and the womb tattoo hsldfkjsldjf SIGN ME UPPPPPPPPP
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Sukuna Can't Tell the Time (The unique way Sukuna is damned to eternal miscommunication and existentialism in the modern era.)
Notes before we start.
1) I will be mainly using the TCB scans for the manga because of their accessibility.
2) I need professional help.
(Click images for captions/citations.)
Preface
I want to get one thing out of the way. This is going to be a weird write-up because I'm hardly going to cite the manga.
I'm basically posting this as a reference for myself. All of this occurred so I could properly lean into the old man aspect of Sukuna for a fic I'm writing. (Aka I read too much on actual Heian Era history and now you all have to suffer.)
People often joke that Sukuna is an old man, but I'm here to tell you he is so out of touch and out of time that he might as well be existing in a never-ending Lovecraftian nightmare where time has stopped being real.
It's going to take a while to explain why this is the case so hear me out, maybe?
Fundamental Measurements
What is a unit of measurement? And where did these units come from? If you've taken an entry level physics class, you've already been through the existential crisis answering these questions caused.
But for the uninitiated, have you ever sat down and asked yourself why you know what a foot/meter is? Everyone has kind of agreed they represent a specific distance, and depending on where you were raised, you'll prefer one over the other.
I'm an American. I'm also an engineer. I have to use SI Units and Freedom Units all the time. Differing distance units are things I can easily conceptualize. I understand what a meter is. It's like 3.3 feet.
Every time I hear meter, my brain does the conversion to 3.3 feet because I was raised with feet as my base unit of measurement. But oddly enough, when I hear 100 meters, I instantly know how far that is. This is because I was a sprinter for all of Jr. High and High School. When someone says 100 meters, I picture the got danged torture stretch of the 300 meter hurdles.
The point of this is to establish that early life experiences become a reference point when thinking about things as an adult. If I didn't run track or do engineering, I would be a "What the fuck is a kilometer?" type American.
Measurements of Miscommunication
If you couldn't tell, I wrote the previous section with Non-Americans in mind. I specified the units of measurement I was using for distance because I understand people outside of the US could be reading my post.
But what happens if I don't do that? What happens when people assume everyone's units of measurement are the same as theirs? Allow me to recall a conversation I'm sure most of you Non-Americans have had with an American on the internet and vice versa.
Friend, Non-American: Ugh it's 40 degrees out today.
Me, American: Dang that sounds pretty cold, don't forget to wear a jacket.
Friend, Non-American: What the hell do you meant that's cold???
Me, American and remembering where they live: OH YOU MEAN CELSIUS. That's 104 in Freedom Units.
Friend, Non-American: 104 IS SUPER DEAD IN CELSIUS.
(40°F is 4.4°C btw.)
As you can see, these kind of assumptions relay drastically different information. 40 degrees without a unit is read as cold or hot depending on where a person is from. It also doesn't help that the conversion between these units is nonsense. The vast majority of people can't do °C = (°F − 32) × 5/9 off the top of their head.
I, for the life of me, cannot comprehend Celsius. Temperature is too abstract a concept for my brain to swap systems. I think there's a reason for this.
Unlike distance, you can't see the temperature with your body. You can feel it, sure, but sometimes you step into a walk-in freezer and come out feeling like everything is warmer than it is. Relativity like that won't affect how you see distance. A foot is a foot, a meter is a meter, and they will always look those distances. You can check them easily.
Temperature? You need a thermometer to check. Or you assume the generalized data on a weather app is accurate. And things like humidity can fudge with your perception it.
This is all to say that my brain assigned the number 40 as cold. It being a hot number is barely comprehensible because my foundation is it being cold.
(If you were wondering, yes this is why I write out dates like Month DD, YYYY. It's so no one has to look at 3/4/YYYY and guess if they're supposed to be reading it as March 4th or April 3rd because they can't tell what country I'm from.)
What does this have to do with Sukuna?
Well my dear reader, my question to you is: What units of measurement were used in the Heian Era?
Forget about distance and temperature. How was time measured in the Heian era?
Heian Era Timekeeping
Ancient Japan ran on something called a Lunisolar Calendar. This is a type of calendar based around moon phases and sun positioning hence, lunisolar.
Taken directly from Wikipedia:
"A lunisolar calendar is a calendar in many cultures, incorporating lunar calendars and solar calendars. The date of lunisolar calendars therefore indicates both the Moon phase and the time of the solar year, that is the position of the Sun in the Earth's sky. If the sidereal year (such as in a sidereal solar calendar) is used instead of the solar year, then the calendar will predict the constellation near which the full moon may occur. As with all calendars which divide the year into months there is an additional requirement that the year have a whole number of months. In some cases ordinary years consist of twelve months but every second or third year is an embolismic year, which adds a thirteenth intercalary, embolismic, or leap month.
Their months are based on the regular cycle of the Moon's phases. So lunisolar calendars are lunar calendars with – in contrast to them – additional intercalation rules being used to bring them into a rough agreement with the solar year and thus with the seasons."
Did you notice something funky? A leap month has to be accounted for with this calendar. And it gets worse. The duration between leap months vary because the earth's path around the sun varies.
Under this calendar system, instead of a fixed interval of time always passing for a year, everything is variable. This means conversion to a modern date, which uses fixed time intervals, is not a one to one thing. It's kind of like trying to convert February 29th to non-leap years. Some people born on this day celebrate on February 28th and others will use March 1st. Legally speaking in the US, March 1st is used for tallying. (And if you've seen the Pirates of Penzance, this is an actual plot point when trying to determine a character's contract clause.) So imagine that but for months, years, and hours all the time.
I exclude days from this issue because Heian Japan agreed that a day was as day. They don't shrink or grow. The 12 hours a day always pass! And yes I mean 12 hours a day.
Heian Hours
For the rest of this discussion I'm referencing this lovely source by Katherine M. Lawrence. Everything quoted is from here.
So... let's get into that 12 hour day thing.
"Days consisted of 12 hours based on the 12 zodiac animals, each Heian hour being equal to about two modern hours. In a moment I will get to why I deliberately used the word “about.”
Days were divided into six “hours” of daylight and six “hours” of darkness. Instead of midnight, the day started at daybreak. Only in the Meiji times, in 1867, did the day change at midnight.
What is fascinating is that there were always six “hours” of daylight and six “hours” of night irrespective of the time of year. In modern times, with mechanical and even atomic clocks, we accept that more daylight falls in summer than in winter. We might turn back or move our clocks forward twice a year. In Japan it was done 24 times a year—approximately every 14 to 16 days—so that the first light would always come during the first “hour” of the day, which was known as the Hour of the Rabbit, sometimes called the Hour of the Hare. Dusk would come at the Hour of the Bird, sometimes called the Hour of the Rooster.
If we were to measure the actual length of winter days using a modern timepiece, the Hour of the Rabbit would be shorter than two hours because the relatively shorter total daylight in winter would still be distributed into six parts.
The six nighttime hours in winter would absorb the extra darkness and be proportionately longer than the nominal two hours of our 24-hour clock.
All this kept the astrologers and priests busy, because every 14 to 16 days, the clocks had to be adjusted. “More on that in a minute,” which by the way, is an idiom the Japanese of the era would not have used, because our modern concept of sixty minutes to an hour and sixty seconds to a minute is highly tied to mechanical clocks."
In summary, Heian Hours quite literally grow and shorten depending on the season. That 1 Heian Hour=2 Modern Hours conversion only works when daylight hours are the exact same as nighttime hours.
But it gets even weirder than that. Rather than counting from 1 to 12 for daytime and nighttime like we might on our modern clocks, Heian Japan counted down from 9 to 4 twice. This results in a clock conversion that looks like this.
And remember, this is only accurate when daylight hours are equal to nighttime hours!
It should also be noted that these hours were announced by the ringing of temple bells throughout the day and the night. Everyone relied on these temples to keep the time at all times.
But wait, there's more! (Heian Months and Solar Stems)
This is where timekeeping really starts to fall apart in terms of my understanding of it so Ms. Katherine M. Lawrence is going to explain it.
"In the Heian period (and until 1867), each month began on the dark moon, also know as the new moon. The full moon would come on the 15th day and the month would end approximately on the 28th, sometimes the 29th, and even the 30th day of the month.
Japanese did not have the western concept of the seven-day week, though they certainly could count to seven. What they had instead was the concept of the solar stem, of which there were 24."
"The first solar stem of the Japanese year starts on the first day of the year: Start of Spring, which, unlike the Western calendar, is not in March. The Last Solar Stem (the 24th) ends on the last day of Major Cold. The beginning of the year in Japan, as measured by the Western calendar, would start somewhere between mid-January and mid-February, the variation resulting from aligning the solar stems with the lunar months."
In summary, Heian Months may be about the same length as Modern Months, but they are strictly based on the moon phases and the 24 Solar Stems are anchored around them.
This leaves us with a conversion calendar that looks like this. (Edited to number the Solar Stems.)
And remember, this is approximate. The Solar Stems do not always align with these exact Georgian calendar dates.
The lunar months, of course, do not use our calendar date names. I present a summary table based on several people's documentation (Source 1, Source 2, Source 3) since sadly the other blogger didn't include them:
(Jan-Feb) Mutsuki (睦月) Month of Harmony/Affection
(Feb-Mar) Kisaragi (如月) Month of Changing of Clothes
(Mar-Apr) Yayoi (弥生) Month of Plant Growth/New Life
(Apr-May) Uzuki (卯月) Month of Deutzia Flowers
(May-Jun) Satsuki (皐月) Month of Planting Rice
(Jun-Jul) Minazuki (水無月) Month of Water/No Gods
(Jul-Aug) Fumizuki (文月) Month of Literature
(Aug-Sep) Hazuki (葉月) Month of Leaves
(Sep-Oct) Nagatsuki (長月) The Long Month
(Oct-Nov) Kannazuki (神無月) Month of Gods
(Nov-Dec) Shimotsuki (霜月) Month of Frost
(Dec-Jan) Shiwasu (師走) Month of Running Priests
This table merges multiple sources because the translations of Kanji differ and it's good to see how/why these differences occur. There's also the issue of the bloggers presenting the months like 1-to-1 conversions.
I want to stress that these Lunar Months start and end anywhere from the middle to the late parts of Georgian Months. This is why Source 1 claims Mutsuki=Feb while Sources 2 & 3 claim Mutsuki=Jan. Source 1 chose Feb because the majority of Mutsuki occurs in Feb while Sources 2 & 3 chose Jan because Mutsuki technically starts in late Jan.
Now that I've laid all this out, I'm sure you have the following burning question:
How the hell do you convert modern time to Heian time???
I turn to Ms. Katherine M. Lawrence again for guidance.
"If this post gets some interest, I will continue and explain how the author calculates..."
There's no guidance.
However! There is an example of a conversion without the explanation.
"Thus, we know as Yamabuki and Tomoe ride up to the Shayō Tōge, the Sunset Pass, at Sunset on May 11, 1172, in the middle of a freak snowstorm, the author can say with some assurance that it happened at the Hour of the Bird on the 13th day of the 7th solar stem, two days past the full moon of the Flower Month."
So I'm going to try to figure out how this occurred using the information I've been given.
Hour of the Bird: This one is easy! The bird hour is the official sunset hour.
7th Solar Stem: According to the chart that's between late April and early May.
13th Day: Since Solar Stems are about 14-16 days this means it's almost the 8th Solar Stem which starts around May 21st.
2 days past the full moon of the Flower Month: "Flower Month" is not on my chart. From what I know about kanji, I think this is a simplification of Uzuki (卯月) or the the Month of Deutzia Flowers. This aligns with the month of May.
This is where I give up. I legitimately do not know where to go from here. ...And that's my point.
What does this have to do with Sukuna?
Before I completely lose you, my dearest most patient reader, please consider the following:
You wake up in a place where time is counted backwards and the hours pass faster than you've ever known them to. The things you use to tell the time don't exist or are in a form you no longer can recognize.
You see a clock face that counts in the wrong direction to numbers you've never seen used for time. The sounds it makes are familiar and foreign all at once. When you try to use the times and dates everyone you ever knew understood instantly, you're met with complete confusion. No one except a few dedicated scholars know how to convert your concept of time to theirs.
This is how Sukuna experiences time in the modern era.
Sukuna Can't Tell the Time (Sukuna almost fumbled his date with Gojo.)
Remember all my rambling about my own experiences with trying to understand SI Units as a Freedom Units user and my complete and utter failure to convert Heian Time to Modern Time? This is to establish that on a fundamental level, it does not matter that Sukuna has access to his vessel's memories. These foreign units mean nothing without a conversion reference.
Yuta in Gojo's body showed us how the memory recollection process works. You see them like movie and must draw your understandings from them.
We also learn from Sukuna that he tends to ignore memories that aren't relevant to his sorcery. So something mundane like telling the time isn't his priority. (I often think about how Sukuna has been watching Yuji and everyone around him use a cell phone but he still calls it a photography device.)
(He's lying about the flowers though.)
So this leads us to Sukuna and Gojo setting the date for their battle...
When Sukuna heard Kenjaku say November 19th and Gojo say December 24th his brain was the equivalent of TV static. It's very likely that Sukuna had to rely on Kenjaku to ensure he showed up at the right day. (Kenjaku, of course, is an exception here because instead of drawing from memories, Kenny got to live through the transitional period of the Lunisolar Calendar to the Georgian Calendar and had 100+ years to adjust to it. And now that I think about it, the Culling Game using days to count time is probably Kenjaku being considerate of this generational difference.)
It's a really good thing that Gojo didn't specify the time because that would've made things worse. See the following examples using the handy dandy conversion chart as a reference...
Gojo: Let's do this at 10.
Sukuna: ???
Gojo: Let's do this at 9.
Sukuna: *Shows up approximately 2 hours late at 11 am.*
Gojo: Let's do this at 8.
Sukuna: *Shows up approximately 5 hours late at 1 pm.*
Gojo: Let's do this at 7.
Sukuna: *Shows up approximately 8 hours late at 3 pm*
Gojo: Let's do this at 6.
Sukuna: *Shows up on time?* (It’s December in the northern hemisphere so the sun comes up after 6. Sukuna might still show up a bit late.)
These examples also assume that Sukuna can still gauge Heian Hours accurately. That too is up in the air because the hourly bells that sounded the Heian Hours no longer exist. The temples and bells may remain, but their use for timekeeping has changed entirely.
Since it's likely he spent a large portion of his early life in a temple, there's a chance Sukuna has a strong internalized sense of Heian Hours. But how many people do you know that can accurately feel an hour pass on vibes alone?
There isn't any point in the manga where Sukuna indicates he knows what Georgian Month is, let alone a Modern Hour. I think that's why he's just waiting on top of the building for Gojo to show up. The day starts for him when the sun comes up, not midnight. He probably figured that as long as he was out there by dawn, eventually his date would show up.
There's something strangely adorable about that. Sukuna didn't go out massacring others for funsies or wreak havoc after Gojo was unsealed. He just waited a whole month and gambled on their connection starting the death date on time.
How Sukuna Might Tell the Time
When Sukuna uses time units, he only uses minutes or seconds.
Well...the narrator implies he's able to use seconds.
This makes sense despite the Heian Era not having minutes or seconds. They're foundational units rather than a unit he needs to convert to something mentally. Because they are so drastically smaller than other Heian units of time, it's easier for the brain to calibrate itself to them.
This means that if one wanted to communicate a duration of time to Sukuna, it would be better to use minutes or seconds.
For example, rather than saying "see you in an hour", "see you in 60 minutes" would be better. Otherwise Sukuna is going to default to 1 Heian Hour and show up approximately 2 hours late.
Another example, telling Sukuna you'll "be gone for a few hours" means to him that you'll be gone for most of the day. At this point it would be better to reference a duration of an activity he's familiar with than use minutes. Sukuna watched some of those movies with Yuji. "I'll be gone for 1-2 movies" will make a little more sense to him.
Funnily enough though, telling Sukuna that you work a 9-5 wouldn't cause a miscommunication for duration. That's 4 Heian Hours or about 8 Modern Hours. He probably thinks it's weird you start working in the middle of the day and into the night though.
How Sukuna tells time for himself is likely similar to someone lost in the wilderness. He'll mostly be relying on environmental cues like moon phase, sun position, constellations, and flora growth. (Which ironically, climate change affecting flora growth patterns would throw him off even more. I can't even imagine how he'd feel about light pollution stealing away the stars on top of that. But at least the moon is still there!)
But as you can see, the normal methods of precise timekeeping are next to impossible for Sukuna to use and this discrepancy is ripe for miscommunication. This has a lot of comedy and horror potential in fanworks. (Hence me writing this as a resource.)
How Sukuna Used to Tell the Time
After doing all this research, I found myself viewing Sukuna's theme Malevolent Shrine a little differently. I always found it to be a quite sad sounding song for his character. Villains as violent and fierce as Sukuna tend to get battle themes that reflect that. In comparison to high energy bangers like One-Winged Angel (Sephiroth Final Fantasy), Avalon (Ultimate Lifeform Kars Jojo), or The Last Mission (Murem vs Netero Hunter x Hunter), Malevolent Shrine is rather somber and unfocused.
This theme opens and closes with bells. The opening in particular feels chaotic with how the different bells seem to overlap and overwhelm each other. But if you listen closely, you'll hear the gong of a temple bell that keeps rhythm by marking the start of a new measure. Using this bell, it becomes easier to count the beats, even when it eventually disappears in the middle section.
His theme to me now feels like an echo of what Sukuna used to know before he was thrust into a world that is no longer in sync with his very concept of time.
"Interestingly, the Japanese “witching hour” is not at midnight, but at nominally 2 AM (1 AM–3 AM) and is known as the Hour of the Ox."
I don't really know where else to put this. Sukuna on his throne of ox skulls, a representation of the witching hour where reality falls apart and spirits come out to play.
How all this might look in action. (Defending my questionable writing choices.)
Though everything I've given is plenty enough for people to run wild with in fanworks, I would like to give examples of it in my own. My type of autism is one where it's easier for me have something to use as a direct reference. (Clear and concise instructions please.) So I want to provide that for anyone else wired similarly.
Context: The fic I'm writing is from Sukuna's POV so I've taken great care to avoid him using modern timekeeping terms. I have a timeline for everything outlined, but I refuse to make that clear to the reader so they can get the Sukuna Experience™.
Other characters will reference the time and give the reader little windows into what date it possibly is, but otherwise they have to infer it themselves.
But because I myself use modern time, I caught mistakes I made in an early chapter... (Aka before I realized Heian Timekeeping is Extremely Different.)
Old Sentence: The year is 2019.
Revised Sentence: The year is 2019 for the Common Era.
(Heian Japan was mimicking China so I'm assuming that the numbered years restarted with each era since I couldn't find how years were kept.)
Old Sentence: It’s reminding him he has not eaten for the past 5 hours and 38 minutes.
Revised Sentence: It’s reminding him he has not eaten since the hour of the dragon—338 minutes and counting.
(This one is self evident I think.)
But even within this chapter, I obscured the date by having Sukuna observe his surroundings. I don't think it's a good example so I'll use a different one from an unpublished draft.
...it occurs under the same wisteria and same midday sun. The branches and buds have begun to green and swell before the Flowering Moon has reached its full, an indication that the bloom will come early.
Wisterias bloom in late April around the time of full moon. April aligns with Yayoi or the Month of Plant Growth/New Life. I worked under the assumption that the moons can be called by their month names kind of like Native American moon names. But Plant Growth/New Life Moon didn't sound good to me so I changed it to Flowering.
So I do have a very specific date for when this scene occurs, but Sukuna doesn't know so the reader doesn't know. The best you can guess is sometime in April but you have to know when Wisterias typically bloom and what a Flowering Moon might be. (I'm hoping this kind of vague timekeeping disorients the reader and causes frustration. I used sun, moon, and star positioning charts for this got dang it.)
Tools to Use for Weird Timekeeping
Chinese Calendar Conversions
Solar Stem Converter
(This one is annoying to use because they don't use the translated names but there is a definitions table.)
Lunar Calendar Converter
(Unfortunately it only allows for 1901-2100. You can probably infer the lunar month via the Solar Stem Converter for older dates.)
Celestial Bodies
For star/constellation positions in the night sky use this:
Sky & Telescope Interactive Sky Chart
(Yes you can even change the location and time to get the exact night sky the characters might be looking at.)
For sun positions and sunrise/sunset times use this:
SunCalc
For moon positions and moonrise/moonset times use this:
MoonCalc
(If you want to see a summary of moon phases by month this tool is helpful.)
Why have you done this?
I don't know. Please enjoy my perverse obsession with the little details.
#cactus yaps#Erikaposting with this one. Need to get my brain examined.#I almost included a rant about changing floral language confusing Sukuna even more but I stopped myself.#This is Sukugo in the vaguest way possible so I won't tag it I think.#The things I do for this fic... This is much worse than my Ace Combat one.#ryomen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers#jjk meta#writing ref
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The duality of Man, or triality? quadrality?
Alien to Human about New Human: Correct me if I'm wrong, but they appear abnormally large for your species?
H: Yea, he's a biggun alright, even without the EV suit I'd say... 7'3'', 310 pounds, bet he power lifts.
A: Umm... not to be rude, but, uhh... he seems, well... how should I put this...
H: Intimidating? Terrifying? Evil? Yea, if this station didn't have high screening standards I'd be totally pissing myself if he started walking towards me. The mohawk and eye tat totally make me believe he could snap me in two with a single glare.
A: I feel ashamed that my instincts are telling me to flee. I wish nature were easier to change.
H (shouting at NH): Hey buddy! Could you come over here for a minute please? You look awesome by the way!
A (whispering nervously): what are you doing?!?
H: Gotta overcome those fears somehow, I believe the best way is a direct confrontation.
NH approaches, somewhat slowly, looking around at all the other aliens in the station that are chatting, waiting around, or doing some work. He finally approaches A and H, and in a very deep and husky voice says: Um, hi, hello. T-thanks for the compliment, I, uh, was a little worried I would stand out too much here.
H: Oh you totally do, my friend over here is practically about to pass out from how much like a gothic viking of death metal you look.
NH: Oh no, I'm so sorry, I-I just grew up in Sweden-Delta and both my parents were huge into classic local music, so I just, uh... it's complicated. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare anyone.
H: Hey, relax pal, we're all good people here. Anyway, what you here to do? I'm planning on starting a bakery, still testing out what kind of flour most species here can actually stomach. My friend here is on the team working on Moon theft preventative measures.
NH: Oh, that's cool. I'm here as an exchange student with the department of applied astrophysics. If all goes well, I can finish my Bachelors degree remotely and stay here as an intern with the head researcher.
H: Oooh, that's cool. (so cool yea that you're apparently half my age but oh well guess I'm a big fat time waster like my father before me and oh god change the subject before I get depressed in front of strangers) That's a real big bag you got there, carrying some super secret science things, eh?
NH: Oh, that... uhh... guess it can't hurt to tell, security vetted it already anyway.
NH proceeds to unzip the bag and hold up a large white piece of clothing with light blue rings and accents, alongside a strange white cap with what looked like small fins, and a curious little backpack.
NH: It's uhh... um... my... Ika... musume... cosplay.... (oh gods I can't believe I said it out loud again)
After a moment of awkward silence, NH slowly puts on the backpack and presses a button on it's strap, and suddenly numerous light blue colored tentacle-like appendages sprout out from the backpack and move in line with NH's movements.
NH: I, uh..., got my engineering friend to make them articulate and interface with my contacts. I can make them do all sorts of things, like make various shapes and animals with them, though works best as a shadow theater.
H:...
NH:...
A now frozen out of confusion than fear:...
H: That's so
NH: (oh I know it's so lame, but I love that show)-
H: COOL! I don't know what a ika musume is, but those things look amazing. You said articulate? How precise can they be? I'd love to have something like that instead of my useless assistant. Poor lad can't make a piece of toast if his life depended on it...
NH: Y-you like it?
H: I LOVE those things. My daughter does cosplay too sometimes, but she makes her Dreadnought suits herself from scraps. One time the military came to our house and installed a limiter on the gauss cannon she found in a crash site, said it would otherwise start to generate small doses of radiation if used too frequently. But she replaced it with a handmade rail gun before the next convention. Do you go to those? Did you see a 7 meter tall hulking metal monstrosity with a bunch of candles all over? That was her.
NH: Oh, I think I've seen video of that, but no, not in person, I go to smaller events. I don't really like big crowds.
H: Oh yea, I get ya, you do seem a bit on the shy side now that we've been talking for a bit. Hey, no worries, like I said, we're all good people here.
NH: T-thanks, but I think I should be going now, the teacher is calling me over.
H: Oh yea, go ahead, didn't mean to take up so much of your time. Have a fun stay and I'm sure you'll ace that paper or theory? Or whatever astrophysicists do, you seem like a solid kid.
NH: Oh, uh, thanks. Good luck with your bakery. And you with stopping those weird people from stealing more moons. Bye.
H: Bye bye, come visit, don't be a stranger now, I'm set up just a short bit from the main lift on floor 14.
NH: R-right, I'll, uh, be sure to stop by soon.
A is finally able to process what they just heard and says: What was all that just now?
H: What? Just a friendly chat with what is apparently basically a kid. Man, this kid's got so much going on, while I'm almost 50 and I have an oven. Life, man, it can go in so many ways. Anyway, let's go grab a drink, I'm parched.
#humans are space australians#humans are space orcs#humans are space oddities#humans are deathworlders#humanity fuck yeah#carionto#story#I intended to quickly write some silly dialogue again#and yet#somehow words kept happening again and now we have a#long post#and it's 1:30 at night#oh well#words won't write themselves#at least not well#I bet an AI couldn't make my kind of nonsense#AI isn't as chaotic as my brain#and it wants to generally follow existing best practices and common formats#well I say fuck that#I'm just a means to transfer what my brain spits out into reality
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if essek did it, why do you think he did? i'm at a loss as to how it would benefit him to give her a shiv. (hope my tone doesn't read hostile, i'm genuinely confused)
I haven't taken any of the asks as hostile, so no worries!
The short answer is that Essek would have benefited whether the Scourger succeeded in killing Caleb or not. Longer answer:
To begin with, let's set the stage. In episode 56, the Nein had handed over the beacon, and in 57, the Bright Queen awarded them with emblems that represented their status as heroes of the Dynasty. It was only after the Bright Queen elevated their status in front of the entire court that she assigned Essek (without asking first) to be their "steward" for the time being, including the responsibility of seeing as to their lodgings.
The Bright Queen is clever. She certainly considered that maybe this was a ploy from the Empire to insert spies into her midst, especially because only one of two beacons was returned. From her perspective, assigning her most trusted spymaster to keep an eye on these idiots is exactly what she should do. If they're plants, Essek would sort it out. If not, they were highly valuable assets that could be used against the Empire or as liaisons.
So, let's orient this from Essek's POV. This bunch of chucklefucks that don't know court decorum came into the queen's throne room, intending to ask a favor in exchange for ridding Asarius of a demon infestation. Then a rival noble calls them out for attacking him and other Kryn outside of Asarius. Just before they're arrested, the human (ginger with blue eyes, a Zemnian) pulls out a beacon of the Luxon, announces that he and his friends are not friends of the Empire, and then offers it to the Bright Queen. Now they're the queen's favored, and out of all the people at court that day, she chose Essek Thelyss, the Shadowhand, in charge of the Dungeon of Penance, to keep an eye on them.
But Essek is the one that stole the beacons. He realizes the same possibilities (spies or well-intentioned rubes), but if anyone in the Dynasty knew about the Volstrucker, it'd be Essek. There is no reason whatsoever for Essek to trust the Nein because those beacons were supposed to stay in the Empire. The reason he handed them over in the first place was that he was supposed to share in the research done by incredibly powerful wizards who did not care about the religious significance. Whether Essek knew or not that one had been lost by the Assembly, the Nein's act of returning one negatively impacted the deal he made. There's the possibilities that Ikithon and the other Assembly members betrayed Essek by lying or hiding information, or perhaps they sent the Nein to expose Essek as the traitor to remove a loose end, or perhaps the Nein really are ignorant and they could gum everything up. Regardless of which situation this is, the best outcome for Essek would be neutralizing the interlopers before they come upon, intentionally or not, his involvement in the theft of the beacons.
The problem, of course, is that the Nein are Heroes of the Dynasty, and since Essek is responsible for their care in the Dynasty, failure to safeguard them would also reflect badly upon him. That could also sabotage his position and ability to do the research he pleases. So he can't just kill them. He has to get them killed in a way that would not make him look bad, preferably in a way that scapegoats someone else for the inevitable blame at failing to protect them.
The condemned Scourger attacked Caleb in episode 77. None of the events between Essek's introduction and that point provide a reason for Essek to trust the Nein regarding his personal risk as a traitor to the Dynasty. Here are his subsequent appearances and what happened:
Episode 57: Essek lets Yeza out of his prison after the interrogation yields information on DeRogna's research of the beacons (the potions Yeza made) and that she took the beacon back two days before the attack, which was shortly before the Nein arrived in Felderwin and began heading to the Dynasty. Because of the timeline of events, Essek realizes that must be the second beacon, so now both are accounted for. This also lets him know what sort of research they did with that beacon, and since Yeza only saw one, the one the Nein returned must have been used for something else. This is great intel for Essek, but not a reason to trust the Nein--only to find them useful.
Episode 61: After the Nein report back to Professor Waccoh of their completion of her mission, Essek arrives at the Inn where he lodged the Nein and escorts them to the Thelyss estate that his den has secured for them. Notably, the work they did was not for Essek; they worked for Waccoh and were paid for the trouble. That just proved they're capable mercenaries.
Episode 62: Essek visits the Xhorhaus after the Nein have settled a bit. He's rather cold: declines offer to join for dinner, declines a drink, has to be persuaded to answer why he isn't familiar with the neighborhood, doesn't want to say where he lives, repeatedly says he wants to get back to his research, etc. It's only once Caleb starts discussing magic and how he wants to learn that Essek starts the game they play about trying to get info from the other without divulging anything useful. Essek requests something impressive for the chance he might teach Caleb something. He then asks questions when Caleb shows off his familiar and giant earthen cat paw:
Essek was flat out rude to Beau, and this was before the whole "White Xhorhasian" drink faux pas. But even with an unimpressive persuasion roll, he offers Caleb a choice of the types of spells he could learn and even lets Caleb handle and read the book himself. Again, Essek has no reason to trust the Nein at this point. This wasn't because he believed or trusted Caleb--Caleb didn't persuade Essek of shit. Essek was fishing for information. He was already going to teach Caleb something, and the persuasion roll was probably to see how many spell levels he'd get. What spells does this Zemnian that stole a beacon from the Empire want to know? Would he give into the temptation to read elsewhere in the book? Caleb chose "the bending of fate, destiny" and learned Fortune's Favor and Gift of Alaracity. Essek is slightly less rude to the Nein as he leaves, probably pleased that he learned something useful in exchange for low-level dunamancy spells, plus now Caleb owes him a favor. Favors are a great way to set up the Nein for whatever scheme he intends later.
Episode 63: Essek is present in the Bright Queen's throne room when the Nein report their findings from the Overcrow Apothecary to her. During this conversation, Caleb admits to the Bright Queen that he had received some training to become a Scourger, though he did not complete it. When Essek is asked if he believes them about the cult of the Angel of Irons, he says he does, and even says he trusts them, though he declines to join them on this quest. Essek has not had any reason to trust the Nein by this point. He flat out lied. Even Fjord commented "'Cause he's been checking on that shit," because he and the others felt Essek was likely keeping an eye on them via Scrying (since they discovered hovering orbs in the Xhorhaus). Maybe their strangeness and civility (even if a little racist) made them endearing, but that's a different issue from trust. Essek wants them to chase down this cult precisely because it is dangerous and could get them killed. All the better that they die in service of the Dynasty, because then he won't be blamed for something sanctioned by the Bright Queen herself.
Episode 65: Jester sends to Essek asking about the Arbor Exemplar in the Barbed Fields, and while she asked for more, he only provides the name, notes it's dangerous terrain, and says they're doing him proud.
Episode 70: When the Nein return to Rosohna and report to the Bright Queen, Essek is again in the throne room. Before Essek is singled out, Caleb requests from the Bright Queen more training from Essek and info on the newly captured Scourger (which they just learned about, and Caleb suspects is Astrid). The Bright Queen says that the Nein haven't quite earned that much trust yet. Once Caduceus explains that the Nein want to fast and safe travel to the Flotket Alps, Essek makes himself known and offers to take them there, again declining to do more than transport them. Essek does not accompany the Nein to see the Scourger, but considering it's his dungeon and he is a spymaster, he was probably Scrying or otherwise tracking what transpired. Of course, it turns out that she isn't Astrid. Later, Caleb returns to the Lucid Bastion and waits to speak to Essek. Caleb confirms he was not actually a Scourger, but knows some about them. Caleb also requests a chance to speak to the Scourger again, even if Essek is there, and that they not accelerate the execution. (He didn't even ask for a delay.) Essek says he'll see and leaves.
Sidebar: Essek absolutely wants intel from this Scourger. He would know they report to the Assembly, and he would not know whether they are aware of his deal with the Assembly. As a condemned captive, her word against his isn't going to mean anything anyway, so the potential of the Scourger outing Essek is practically nil. Thus, there isn't any real risk at letting the Scourger say whatever she wants to say to Caleb. If anything, observing undetected meant better intel.
Episode 71: Jester sends to Essek, who arrives with an armed guard (weird) to teleport the Nein to the Flotket Alps. Before they go, the Nein left ball bearings on the ground to see if Essek floats (he does) and then pretend to berate Dairon, their "housekeeper", for leaving them out. Essek seems to find the whole thing amusing, then teleports them. They got a mishap because of the roll, but then arrive in the mountains. Again, stuff that could be endearing, but why did Essek have an armed guard...? That's so weird.
Episode 72: The Nein poke a little fun at Essek for the mishap, but he leaves via a Teleportation Circle.
Episode 73: Caleb asks Jester to Send to Essek to ask about the status of the Scourger's execution date, but Jester instead requests a delay. Remember how Caleb didn't request a delay before? Now he's requesting a delay indirectly; he didn't even ask Essek himself. (Man, that would seem rude from Essek's POV.) Essek responds that he'll try, but notes his den has no further interest in keeping the Scourger alive. When Caleb asks Jester to pass on that he might be able to help because of his history, Essek responds the same, but cracks a joke since Jester ended with "You pooping?" Essek's trying to endear himself to Jester, but we can't conclude whether it's sincere or subterfuge. After all, if she told anyone he joked, he could easily deny it. That was specifically for her.
Episode 74: The Nein send to Essek and ask him to come to the Xhorhaus so he can teleport them and meet someone. They briefly discuss the Scourger, and while Essek managed to get an extension of 2 weeks on the execution, he needs more of a heads up for Caleb to visit the Scourger again. Caleb then says here is a formal request, and Essek says he'll deal with that arrangement then. They introduce him to Reani, he dispels an enchantment on a paper hiding some items, then he teleports them to Mythburrow. At the end of the episode, Matt notes they're racking up quite a debt to Essek.
Let's pause there.
Each prior time the Nein went to the Dungeon of Penance, it was impromptu. They had just been announced as Heroes of the Dynasty when Essek personally took them to the dungeon to see Yeza as their first stop. The Nein were permitted to visit the Scourger unescorted as soon as they learned about her. Now there needs to be notice? It couldn't be because of the execution because the Bright Queen mentioned to begin with that the Scourger would be executed. There was no change of plan other than the extension that the Nein requested only a day prior. Why would Essek need to give anyone notice about someone visiting a condemned prisoner held in the prison that he manages?
Probably to make sure that Scourger has a fucking shiv.
Episode 75: At the beginning of the episode, before returning to Rosohna, Essek notes the Nein are ridiculous, tells them to have fun, and even calls them "friends." Again, that makes him seem endearing and less formal, but it's done out in the boonies. If any of them tried to tell someone from the Dynasty that he had done any of those things, he could probably deny it. So his reputation is safe, and it makes it seem like he likes them.
That's twice now he's been nice without any reason to trust them. Hmmm, sure seems like building some plausible deniability to me.
Episode 77: Jester summons Essek to the Xhorhaus. They discuss that the Bright Queen would like the Nein to find where the remaining beacon is in the Empire. Caleb attempts to fish for whether any particular Assembly members come to mind that Essek wants investigated, but he replies that he could list all of them if Caleb likes. Beau's insight check to see if Essek is sincere about ending the conflict fails. Caleb attempts to fish for a last known location of the beacon, and Essek gives an unhelpful answer that it must certainly be moved frequently. That's Essek being rude; they already know the beacon was last seen in Felderwin because Yeza said DeRogna took it from there 2 days before his capture by the Kryn. Essek is being intentionally and obviously obtuse. Fjord asks if others are on this quest, and Essek answers yes, but declines to give the Nein a way to identify them. Then they bring up the condemned Scourger, and Essek only recommends speaking to her soon; no specified date. Caleb asks if that day works, then Essek assents and offers to escort him.
That sure is a suspicious moment to suddenly decide to be helpful, isn't it? Sure is weird that he went back to being rude after being openly amiable and even joking with them, isn't it?
Then, when they arrive at the prison:
That is a really weird thing to say after the Nein were permitted to visit this same prisoner unescorted without notice as soon as they learned about her. Of course, then the attack happens. Matt doesn't mention whether Essek entered the cell before, during, or after Caleb starts talking to the Scourger, but Essek kills the Scourger after the attack.
Looking back at all the events that occurred leading to this point, Essek has not had any reason not to think that the Nein are somehow working for the Assembly or otherwise would expose him to the Bright Queen if they discovered what he had done. The key issue is that if the Nein placed their loyalties to either the Empire or the Dynasty over their loyalty to him, they could ruin him. That circumstance hasn't changed by this point, so the only reason to keep any of them alive is that they're cute. There's his entire life in the balance if he keeps letting them run around, especially if they search for the other beacon.
With that in mind, setting up the Scourger to be able to attack Caleb only puts his reputation at risk, and Essek has already taken steps to minimize that problem. Caleb was the one that requested a delay. Caleb was the one that wanted to speak to the Scourger. Caleb was the one that volunteered he had been training to be one. Caleb was the one that offered to fish for information useful to the Dynasty. Each was a push on the Dynasty's normal procedure and/or a personal risk to himself.
And what does Essek have to gain? It would be easy for Essek to frame this as the Assembly's pet Zemnians putting themselves at risk for small gains, and they're so devious even the best prison in the Dynasty was not enough to secure them perfectly. All the more reason to demonize the Empire and the Scourgers. It wouldn't matter if Caleb died or not; the attack was simply fuel for propaganda. Remember, Essek did not want peace. He wanted war. That bolstered his position as a spymaster, distracted the Dynasty from anything he was up to, and provided cover for the Assembly's research. In the long-term, it would just be one more incident to point to if Essek ever needed to sow dissent about Caleb's mental or emotional stability or the risk posed to the Dynasty by the Assembly.
And if Caleb died? One less member of the Nein to worry about. They'd gotten Essek some decent intel about the beacons, about DeRogna's research, and about the Scourgers. But that's it. They've done him no favors, they aren't directly useful for his research, and they're a massive liability.
Either of those outcomes specifically required violence. It wouldn't be enough for the Scourger to just rage in her chains. She needed to somehow get loose and have a weapon. Spells wouldn't have been a sufficient/sensible threat; she wouldn't have possibly been able to prepare spells from a book, and cantrips wouldn't have done much on their own against someone as strong as Caleb. But getting the Empire-trained assassin a shiv sure would have been a threat to a wizard made of soggy paper, and no matter how it played out, it only made the Empire look more monstrous.
So, yeah, I absolutely believe Essek went out of his way to make sure the Scourger would have an opportunity and weapon to attack Caleb. Risking some human's life for one more justification to prolong a war he started? That's the sort of shit I would expect from a neutral evil Shadowhand.
#my asks#essek thelyss#caleb widogast#the mighty nein#this wasn't supposed to be this long#i am juggling this and writing#i won't be sleeping tonight because i have shadowhand essek being a neutral evil schemer on the brain
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this is about slow down (you're doing fine) fic but also a general headcanon I think is universally true for me
I like to think that before the whole USNA papers fiasco happened, Bradley was very much Mav's kid.
He was the best of the best in anything he put his mind to and he always seemed to do it so effortlessly (it wasn't). He had no fear of danger that looked like pure bravery but was in truth, just him trying and trying to be brave (he'd 'do it scared'). He was a painfully loyal person and friend but rarely trusted to have it reciprocated. He was known and liked but rarely close enough with anyone to be fully seen as who he really is. He was commanding attention whichever room or group he wasn't in, and he was doing it on purpose. He had this weird intensity about him (always aiming for more, always being best at whatever he wouldn't start, always so sure of what he wanted and what he didn't) that only few brave people dared to get close to and explore, that very few people wanted to have in their life.
Even appearance-wise a lot sips off from Mav (not that Bradley would ever admit it) because Mav's been recylicing four pairs of Levis 501s since the 80s and buys only solid colored t-shirts that are easy to replace and jean and leather jackets. Sure, maybe Bradley did try not to fall under the trap of this, but it was hard to find clothes that were comfortable and not baggy.
He was a skilled pilot even young, even just flying boring Cessnas and that will continue because it's like driving - a good base is everything, and his base was taught by Pete Maverick Mitchell. He's beyond people his age, when he gets his pilot licence at 17, he's beyond people twice his age, and that's because he puts his heart into anything he cares about, which he inherited from the same man and great pilot who taught him how to fly, who spend hours at home and hours in the same cockpit, putting all of himself into Bradley.
Bradley's never felt like it was necessarily bad that he was so much like Mav — the way he saw it, the right people loved and liked to be around Mav, and sure, a bit embarrassing to be like your kinda-dad, but he much prefers this over ending nothing like him. The life Mav has — a man that loves him, a job that is demanding but one he always wanted and dreamed about, a kid that slowly grows to be like him, a small but tight group of friends and family — he'd love to end up with that life, too.
So just imagine. Bradley who thinks that all that's best of him was taught to him by Mav, who thinks all that's best of him comes from Mav, having his dreams crushed and hearing as the only explanation of why, from the same Mav that made him the best he could turn out to be, that created the person he was in such a permanent, significant degree, that he's not ready.
Every single insecurity he's ever had fixed with the use of loving, supportive parenting gets reopened.
And sure, at first he's in denial of it, he's nothing but stubborn, so he pours it all into spite and makes his life powered by the thought that he's going show Mav he's fucking ready and he's going to do it alone, without help from him or anyone else. He's not denying who he is, no, he still loves with his whole heart, he's still brave, maybe to the point it's now slightly more of reckless bravado rather than lack of fear, maybe he goes overboard into anything he cares about, trying to prove something to himself
This is when the hyperindepedency sets in, when the guards set up around him, and when the trust he has in people he cares about is permanently damaged, and when he starts thinking that there's no one in this world who can love him forever the way he is (the person he thought would love and support him no matter what couldn't, after all).
It's only later, once he finally becomes a naval aviator, that he realizes he'll never 'show' Mav how good he is, that he's always going to think he wasn't ready, that he can't trust the parts of himself that were built by Mav.
This is when spite gets too bitter. This is when he promises himself (even if he doesn't know it) that he'll never again be like Mav.
(the winging ceremony from slow down is what I was thinking in this case, but it can be anything - it can be a phone call to Mav, it can be Mav not showing at the winging ceremony, it can be him or Mav reaching out and thinking it's going good until he realizes Mav will never apologize because he's not sorry and he still thinks he was right)
He is distanced to the people who are in his life and not open to having any new people in his life. He's expecting everyone to leave eventually and he acts like it (he takes in anything they give him with even bigger appreciation, but rarely gives more than he's already given, afraid it'll set things off earlier than necessary).
His flying changes drastically but in a way that people think is just him maturing. Instructors and COs thinking he's good enough and mature enough not to show off and to play by the rules when needed. Newbies still noticing how skilled and precise he can be in the air. But it goes the other way as well and soon enough, it's not just playing by the rules — it's being overly cautious, it's overthinking everything, it's constant hesitation what he can trust himself with, it's giving up while anticipating the next bad move against him that never comes. All because he never wants to fly like Mav again
The only people who notice are the people who are the closest to him. Guys from his squad, Nat.
Jake.
Jake, who's the closest person Bradley has, who always had the front seat to the shitshow that Bradley Bradshaw was as a person, can very well tell something's changed.
But that's all. He's stuck just with the feeling something is wrong and that Bradley is moving further and further away from him and doesn't want to tell him what and why it changed. And he can take a lot, because he does love him, but the minute he presses Bradley, truly presses for the first time, it's the end.
That's why Jake is so pissed. He knows something changed, he knows it's why they ended, but as days and days follow, he never figures out what caused it. And he's fucking bitter because he wasn't even given the chance to prevent or reverse it. It just happened and Bradley never even thought to let him help. And Bradley stays the same as years go on and on, and if he just told him, back then, maybe Bradley's life now would be different, would be happier.
#im thinking about this again sorry#probably won't have time to write much until nov so my brain is spinning with ideas like the plate in the microwave#tgm#hangster#mavdad#bradley rooster bradshaw#slow down tag
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I know it's not going to happen but what do you think a child between Nel & Alastor would be like? Personality wise or appearance
History Repeats Itself
This is goddamn ridiculous.
Heels click against shiny vinyl flooring as Nel tears off down the hallway, speeding past flyers promoting honors ceremonies and painted murals of happy children. Pushing open door after door and stomping hard enough to make her knees shake, she does nothing to hide her rage over such a bullshit situation. Her fingers twitch with the need for a goddamned cigarette, but she doesn’t trust herself to not light this private school aflame with it. Oh no, she’s not chancing that, not when she’d ruin the career she fought to earn and the schooling she pays out the ass for in one fell swoop.
Her warpath only halts when she reaches a thick wooden door simply labeled as Dean’s Office. It’s becoming increasingly familiar as of late. With a barely contained growl, she knocks the door open, steps into the room, and prepares for battle.
“She is evil!”
“That’s a strong word. I prefer the term strong-willed instead.”
“Shut it! You’re a malignant tumor on this school!!!”
“Wow, that was a good one. You’re improving your vocabulary, congratulations!”
“DEVIL!”
“You know, anything you say can be held against you in court, I’d mind your words if I were you.”
“WE ARE NOT IN COURT!!!!!”
Nel watches a teenage girl hiss and spit pure venom with all the rage of a feral creature. Her dark eyes are blazing with unfiltered fury, something Nel herself recognizes all too well. There’s no need to ask what has her raging- oh no, Nel is aware of the issue, she sure fucking knows exactly who is responsible for this mess.
Turning on her heels, Nel stares down the little shit sitting primly in a chair by the flabbergasted dean. Not a curly hair is out of her place on her head, with each chocolate strand pinned neatly back with a stylish bow. Quickly, she gives a small pat to her immaculate bumper bang like she’s brushing away some invisible dust that could possibly disrupt her picture-perfect image.
She’s a doll with smooth caramel skin and large hazel eyes.
She’s adorable with pearly white teeth and freckles dotted across her cheeks.
She’s precious with her long, poofy skirt and long, poofy hair.
She’s perfect.
Except, her mother knows better. Oh, does she ever know better.
“Sweet Christ,” Nel sighs with something that isn’t quite disappointment, but certainly isn’t glee. Nobody has breathed a word of what events called her down to the private school, again, but she’s certain that her spawn is somehow responsible because she is always responsible when chaos occurs. “Evie. What in the hell is going on here?”
“Momma, there you are!” Bouncing out of her seat, Evie skips over to her mother without a care in the world. She doesn’t bat an eye at her classmate glaring daggers at her or the dean blinking in exasperation since she’s too busy sidling up to her revered birth-giver. “Listen, this is all a big, silly mix-up. I’m completely innocent-”
“Lies-!”
“It was Roxxy who dumped the paint on her own bag to frame me-”
“NO, I DID NOT-!”
“Because why would I ever do such a terrible thing?” Looking for backup, she moves her gaze to the dean, who simply nods his head in slight agreement. “I would never jeopardize my perfect record with the threat of a conduct mark, and for what? To upset my good friend Roxxane with a ridiculous prank?”
“We are not friends!” the other teen growls, her skin turning an intense shade of crimson from the wrath boiling in her bones.
“You’re right, we’re best friends! Thank you for reminding me,” Evie chirps, her toothy smile growing wider.
Nel swats away unfortunate flashbacks that threaten to overtake the moment.
“Okay, kid, put a pin in it. Just, God, come on, we’re leaving, now. Go.” Once her daughter departs from the room with a final wave to her so-called friend, Nel stares at the dean. “Stop calling me for this bullshit. I pay this school too goddamn much money to run up here each time there’s an issue with these two- next time, deal with it.”
The door slams shut behind her, and she marches on.
Leather pumps and leather oxfords click together in time down the hallway.
“What on God’s green earth possessed you to do that?” Nel scoffs, not pausing her march to freedom for a moment. It hardly matters since her kid already has at least an inch on her, because of course she does, her legs are more than long enough to keep up with the redhead’s shorter stomps. “Dumping paint on someone’s bag? Shit, did you just forget any home training I gave you?”
“Momma!” Evie gasps in offense, her round eyes going wide. “You don’t believe in my innocence?”
“No.”
“Okay, fair enough.” Just like that, the act drops and she shrugs, clicking her shiny saddle shoes on the floor. “But I didn’t do it for fun. Well, maybe I did, but she also deserved it.”
“You cannot continue to terrorize that girl. This is the third time that there’s been an incident in the past five weeks. Every time you get yourself into a mess, I gotta hightail it up here to drag you home, and that’s time I lose with my clients, and that’s money I lose to spend on you. You think it reflects positively on me when I’m unable to run my firm because I’m wrangling my daughter?”
“I know, but-“
“Genevieve Marie Sheridan-“
“You don’t understand!”
“Then enlighten me.”
“She’s terrible!” Uncharacteristic irritation crosses over Evie’s sharp facial features, contorting them into a disgruntled expression eerily similar to the one worn by the ginger walking next to her. “I’m telling you, I have never met someone so absolutely dull and unpleasant in all my life! Sure, I’ve only been alive for fourteen years, but I’ve had a worldly fourteen years!”
“Oh, really now?”
“Momma, forget the details! What I’m trying to explain to you is that she is awful, so I’m attempting to help her become less awful with some harmless fun.”
A familiar feeling creeps along Nel’s skin. It’s a distant feeling, one she hasn’t felt in nearly fifteen years, but it’s one she can never forget, not ever. It’ll haunt her til the day she dies, and long after that too.
Cold realization begins to dawn on her.
“...What makes this girl so bad?”
“What doesn’t?” the teen snips, rolling her eyes. “She always has to argue with me or oppose me, she can never just listen to anything I say! I don’t understand. Everyone else loves me- as they should, I’m amazing.”
“Mhm.”
“But not her! Never her. She’s been against me since we moved here, what, seven years ago? All because everyone adores me due to my benevolent nature and because she’s an envious ball of rage with no friends.”
“Mhm.”
“And I always think of how repulsive she is, especially at the worst times! Did you know that I dreamed of her nasty little face the other night? She’s a true nightmare at this point. I can’t escape her even in my sleep.”
“I bet.”
“So, in conclusion, she is my number one enemy, and I will destroy her.” Evie raises her upturned nose into the air with a slight huff. “In completely legal ways, of course. Such as kindness. And a few ink bombs too.”
There it is.
Pausing at the front of the school, Nel faces the little turd fully, her initial anger fading. Hell, she can never stay mad at the kid for long; that’s her baby, no matter how tall she grows or how ruthless she becomes.
When Evie returns her mother’s softening gaze with a kind one of her own, Nel swallows down an old sadness that’s taken root inside of her. It’s been there for years, always hovering like a ghost in the background, always lingering no matter how long she ignores it. But, its presence isn’t so heavy with her kid here, even if she wears a dead man’s face and speaks in his same chipper tone.
It would be just like Alastor to have a child so eerily like himself. He could never quit the game; he’d always leave some version of himself behind to plague Nel.
Fitting. He always had to have the last laugh.
“You know, I know a thing or two about having an enemy.”
“Oh, like the DA?”
“No, not that son of a bitch, though he’s worthless,” she grumbles. “No, I had someone else I swore to destroy a long time ago.”
“Well, did you?” she asks, and Nel gives her a strained, tired smile.
“Yes and no. That’s a story for another day. For now, all I’ll tell you is that you need to be careful, and that maybe you should spend some time using that big brain to decide what you really think of this nemesis of yours.”
“Well, I hate her. I don't need to think about that.”
Nel rolls her eyes. “No doubt, but hate can sometimes…ah, fuck it, I’ll save it.” With a shake of her head, she waves away her words. “You’ll figure it out, baby. Now come on, we’re getting the hell out of here. Goddamn ridiculous school.”
“Yes ma’am!” Evie skips along happily next to Nel, contagious cheer radiating off of her. “We need to go anyway. I’d like to be at least down the block before the dye bomb I placed in Roxxy’s locker detonates.”
“...The what?”
There’s a distant pop, and then a muffled scream from deep inside of the school building.
Evie blinks innocently, and then Nel sighs.
History always repeats itself.
#I really hope you like Evie because she's existed in my brain for almost as long as I've been writing Yours Truly#I don't feel like this drabble did her true justice either#she is the little shit of all time#also I couldn't resist making her enemy have an “ox” name whoopsie#she's unfortunately very similar to her father#Nel's genetics got bodied#evil lesbian child#don't argue with her you won't win and you'll wake up without a liver
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