#my brain just makes decisions
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as a coda to yesterday's "I can only watch serious Films now" post, I do want everyone to know that I've been re-reading the same 5-7 terrible romance novels on the back end. I'm clearly going through something, it's probably fine, but I won't know for another few months or quite possibly ever.
#still don't know what triggered reading 300+ books in 2021.#my brain just makes decisions#and drags me behind it like a small woman holding the other end of a large mastiff's leash#celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge
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May have dipped my toes into the malevolent pool.
My take on Arthur, I'm only on s3, don't crucify me if I'm wrong.
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#Jon doe#the king in yellow#This podcast might have a bit of a grip on me#It's okay I have it under control#I can control myself the same way Arthur can see#The relationship reminds me of Johnny and V. except make Johnny venom and make V blind#Just a man who can't make a good decision and his brain parasite learning morality#I wouldn't be able to make good decisions with an Eldritch God in my brain either#Why yellow?
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A phone call between brothers (takes place AFTER this incident and Fiddleford's phone call)
Sorry if this is OOC!
#mama~ just killed a man~~#<- PLEASE get that reference#anyways- the lipgloss is popping and the girlies are slaying <3 (literally)#psychologically messing with the doomed narrative brothers just for the fucksies and the funsies#as per usual#been planning on this lore drop for a WHILE but got sidetracked- so here it is later than never#A brief insight on how Stan got roped into the whole mess and why Ford is so insistent on bringing Bill back#there's a little more to it like how Bill kinda acted like a parasite in Ford's brain?? and it latched onto his mind until he became#like codependant and INTEGRAL to his brain and whatnot#and then Ford killing him from his mindscape was basically the equivalent of him smashing the load bearing pillar of his mind with a#big ass hammer#sooo it left a GAPING hole where Bill used to be- making Ford believe Bill cursed him or did something to him during his last breaths as#revenge#(which Bill obviously didn't because he was busy DYING- altho it's completely fair of Ford to believe that of Bill- that narsty skank)#so he's trynna bring Bill back to figure that shit out- BUT also ALSO keep in mind that Ford is a leetol bit frazzled atm#he's not in his right mind- so he's making stupid decisions and stupid thoughts#anyways#gravity falls#gravity falls au#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#bill cipher#my art#my writing#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU#tw graphic descriptions
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Sometimes !!!!!!! A bitch just wants to be taken care of !!!!!! Okay !!!!!
#mine#text post#like pls for the love of god#I just need like one day where someone else makes all the decisions and babies me and takes care of me#my brain hurts and I’m tired of taking care of myself 🥺😭#I’m just tired and cranky and today was really long and frustrating#but still !!!#this doing everything alone all the time shit is getting old#if anyone needs me I’ll be crying in my bubble bath
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Can we all at least agree that Jayce put the most minimum amount of effort possible into shutting down the Hexgates before Viktor showed up...
We see the power cells are removable when Salo tries to take them:
(sidenote. wtf was this about anyway. We never found out what Vik wanted to do with these. We just have to assume he wanted to recharge himself but it's never discussed)
BUT THEN when Jayce has all of the city's defenders giving their lives to stop Viktor from getting through...
He just TURNS them off. Why didn't you take them out my guy... If it was SO important that Viktor not turn on the hexgates why is Jayce doing this all by himself so last minute.
You presumably had a few days warning for this fight? You had time to get a fancy new suit made and evacuate the city outskirts? To build Caitlyn a brand new Hextech sniper rifle?
There's just no way Jayce is this stupid. It had to be all part of his plan with futureVik to let him get in and turn it on I refuse to believe anything else. The writers themselves could tell me otherwise and I would fight them on it.
#mine#jayce talis#arcane#i ACTUALLY want us to agree that Jayce was just playing a part and didn't actually make any of his own decisions#which is totally lame but at least it makes sense in my brain#unlike the interpretation that he was just doing “everything he could” to stop Vik#like no the FUCK HE DIDNT he did all the worst possible things if he was trying to stop everything from happeninggggggg#arcane critical#viktor arcane#arcane season 2#Viktor for all our sakes stay away from the hexgates!! wink wink like Jayce he didnt say anything about the hexgates dont give him ideas??
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#as always the final decision is made by my adhd brain but i love to make polls#so this enrichment for you and me#i was gonna talk about focusing on mostly fun reptiles and bugs this year but that's just every year so
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small doodle dump‼️
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/11433a04c53365433b875783af2ae946/482a78f45d88de34-ee/s540x810/5803556c14ca13ae64b261cdfa43a101fd460fb2.jpg)
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also sorry for the lack of posts school started again so i havent had much time to draw (tragic)
#wordgirl#becky botsford#todd scoops ming#violet heaslip#rose franklin#dr two brains#chuck the evil sandwich making guy#wordgirl au#rosecky#becky x rose#i totally didnt draw these instead of paying attention during class#but forreals this year will be THOUGH so expect me to post less#or not just expect me to post sketches on paper#making important decisions... (drawing cartoon or setting up a future for myself)#I MEAN i go to an art school so ermmm see these as exercises#ok enough talking its shameless promo time#no one's reading all these tags anyway#so yeah if u wanna see more of my non-wg art u should check out my twitter ahhehhahehehh#same user as here :p
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albus severus is the human embodiment of be gay do crime, in this essay I will-
#shitposting in its rawest form#im right though#this boy saw that phrase said bet and never looked back#harrys a cop its neccesary rebellion#and he is into some dark magic shit i am telling you right now#he has been dabbling#he commits low level crimes on the daily#and is very open to high level crimes when the situation arises 😗😗#source: my brain#also actually the entire fucking play#that is not a teenager who follows rules or makes sound sensible decisions#hes the type of kid to just go out one day and accidentally commit fraud embezzlement buglary and join the mafia or something#half by accident half just cause he felt like it 🤷🏻♂️#scorpius is not like this yet is always by als side when hes getting into trouble so he might as well be lmao#the be gay bit is very self explantory#he would commit unspeakable crimes for scorpius which just ties it all together so nicely#scorpius is the source of his gay and his crime 🙏🏻#hashtag soulmates 😍😍#albus severus potter#scorpius malfoy#hpcc#scorbus
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AND WE JUST DONT TALK ABOUT THIS?!?!?!!????
#THIS IS LITERALLY LITERAAALLLYYY THE BIGGEST FORM OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT SUGISHITA COULD HAVE#NOT ONLY IS HE DOING WHATS BEST FOR UMEMIYA BUT HES PUTTING HIS TRUST IN SAKURA TO HELP HIM#AND OH IM SO UNWELL#HIS BODY IS PHYSICALLY REACTING TO HIM MAKING THIS DECISION IM JUST#IM SO PROUD#and then sakura acknowledging all of this too i just love them sm#they really have one of the best dynamics 😭😭😭#wind breaker#kyotaro sugishita#sakura haruka#wind breaker spoilers#wind breaker manga spoilers#ok nvm im still talking bc the second image literally gets me everytime i look at it#first off the way they drew sakura in that scene in the first place is just so beautiful thats the only word i can think for it rn 😭😭😭😭#second seeing this scene from sugishitas perspective and then learning later that the reason he has this reaction was because he thought-#-sakura looked cool and hes never thought that about anyone before just really gives us so much more for their relationship#specially how sugishita acts towards him 😭😭#add that onto what umemiya says to him (which i couldnt include in this post </3) about how hes never really shown emotion to anyone-#-till sakura showed up then it gives us an even BETTER understanding of why sugishita acts the way he does around sakura#my brain is so frazzled by the sun today and words are not coming to me easily so apologies if none of this makes any sense 😭😭😭#ill revisit it another time anyway#also the way they describe all of this really makes it sound like he has a lil crush and its so sweet 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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@heart-pirates-week || Day 6 || Uni/Aftermath
I must reiterate:
#the lore runs deep in my own brain#the peng scar lore#the penguni lore#if they don’t already have a ship name I’m making the executive decision that it’s penguni#just two quiet boys doin quiet boy things#my art#one piece#heart pirates#one piece penguin#one piece uni#heart pirates week#nsfo
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I've been anxious for so long and so brave about it this year and I'm really hoping it will allow me to not have to brave for a while because. jesus fucking christ
#that job i had in july? i left it in august because i finally decided to do something i want to do#and not wait until i convince myself that something is 'good enough'#my anxiety was so bad during those two months. which was a shame because my boss was lovely and the place was pretty nice#but i made the first brave decision in a very long time and left to look for a job i'm passionate about#and my boss was so great because when they were saying goodbye she said in front of everyone that#she's sure some people there admired my bravery to just leave and pursue my dreams#and i could have cried right there and then it was so good to hear?????? i can't make brave choices and my anxiety is a bitch#so when she said that i was just. SO touched#and yeah an opportunity came along and i'm going to be working as an editor starting later this week!#so fingers crossed that i'm going to be less anxious and my brain won't ruin this for me because it's a really really nice opportunity#and i want to squeeze as much as i can from it without my brain getting in the way and making me see just the negatives until i get out#in general i just really REALLY want to stop feeling like a hunted animal in everyday situations. here's to getting there someday#it's mine my own my precious#not lotr
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THE number one most irritating thing about life is deciding when you're meant to speak or make eye contact and when you're not, and for how long and how many phrases you're meant to say at a time
#i know i make this post every week. i know this#but it's just constant!#all my other problems are either solvable or no one has ever solved them in the history of humanity you just have to live with them#but this one is soooo omnipresent and it takes up 80% of my brain space at almost all times#and it's not like i can really condition myself out of it because consciously Not thinking about it is the same as thinking about it!#try to think about my surroundings but people are a part of the surroundings!#how i avoided this level of constant decision making as a child is i just didn't speak to people besides my family unless i had to#i've read people's experiences who were like 'you need to decide when to put on your normal face and how to present yourself'#'being able to choose will give you more autonomy' and like! yeah! guess why i'm able to support myself and live an independent life#that doesn't mean making those choices every second of the day is enjoyable!! or really sustainable over decades and decades!!#rhghghgjhhbhhhhghghhhhghh#hisses like a cat going to the vet
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time travel shenanigans again
Rise of Red is driving me SLIGHTLY crazy with the time travel retcon, but in a way that’s making me want to write about how the timeline shifts COULD have worked. loosely inspired by this post.
"I don't know what that's like," Bridget says. Her expression, which Red is just starting to understand as perpetually stuck in a sweet, bright smile, falls blank for a moment. "I love my mom. It must be awful, not having someone who really loves you. If you were my daughter, I'd think you're the coolest daughter ever."
Oh, if you only knew.
"Thanks." Red manages, around the lump that shouldn't be in her throat. Bridget isn't her mom yet, not really. There's nothing for her to get upset over. "That's sweet of you."
"And speaking of sweet," Chloe jumps in, giving Red's hand a little squeeze. Oh, please. Like the perfect princess knows anything about having a tyrant as a mother. "We're looking for a cookbook. Your cupcakes were amazing, so we thought maybe you'd have what we're looking for."
Bridget beams. "Of course! I have almost every cookbook ever. Except like, the super illegal ones. I don't have those. Did you want to make something special?"
"Just a little magical baking. I think the recipe we need is in the sourcer's spellbook?"
Bridget's face falls again. "That one's illegal. I might be breaking the Wonderland laws that you remember, Red, but I don't break international law. At least not while I'm at school."
"But you'd break them out of school," Red drawls. If they can't get the cookbook they need, they can at least pump Bridget for information about herself. Half of her pranks back home only worked because she was able to get classified information from Maddox, or Isaac and the other guards, or swipe it from her mother's writing desk before she noticed a letter had even arrived. "That's pretty cool."
Bridget giggles. "Well, I wouldn't say that. I...."
She stops.
"You?" Chloe prompts.
Bridget doesn't move. Doesn't even blink.
"Bridget? Hello?"
"She's breathing." Red says. It's all she's doing. Just standing there, completely frozen, breathing. She's not even smiling. Her face is just....blank.
Chloe steps close enough to wave her hand an inch from Red's mom's nose. "Hello? Can you hear me?"
Red sidesteps around her princess sidekick to slip the back of cards out of Bridget's pajama pocket. It's not the same pack that she's seen her mom use in their timeline, but disarming her future mom makes her feel a little better. "She's broken, princess. We froze her."
"People don't just freeze. That's not how human bodies work, even if we are in the past. My mom never mentioned freezing up like this."
"I bet your mom never mentioned knowing my mom either." Red shoots back. "Or Merlin Academy, or how gross that Alchemy class was."
"My mom," Chloe starts, and then stops. Just like Bridget.
"Princess?"
"My mom never mentioned attending Merlin Academy." Chloe says, bursting into motion again. "She only mentioned it once, and that wasn't until we were in the carriage on our way to school, a few hours ago."
"Or twenty years in the future." Red reminds her.
Chloe spins around, her hair flying out in a fluffy blue halo around her head. Her empty sword belt swings with the rhythm of her pacing. "More like thirty-five. Maybe more. I have an older brother, and my parents didn't have him until they were already married for like, ten years. So we don't know exactly how far back we are, and my mom never talked about attending school until we were already in the carriage. And more importantly, you were in your carriage."
"So what?"
"So I think we started changing the flow of time the minute your mom let you leave Wonderland. I mean, think about it. The timing makes sense."
Red considers the facts.
Her mom never mentioned attending school - check. But her mom hardly mentions anything to her aside from how inadequate she is, so that's off their evidence list. Bridget is acting really weird - sure. But that doesn't necessarily mean anything, because Red's mom is really weird. Whatever statue Bridget's become, it could just be her brain rebooting to be even more evil. Or maybe she started rewriting time from the moment she grabbed the pocketwatch, and everything that's happened since then really is all her fault, and her mom would never have turned evil in the first place if Red hadn't gone back in time to try and fix her.
Or maybe time travel logic is bullshit, and they're doing the right thing.
"Whatever." Red declares. "We can think about it after we search this place for secret evil cookbooks."
#rise of red#descendants: blasphemy edition#in my heart this movie is so wildly different in terms of….everything about the previously establishedtimeline because ~time travel fuckery#my fic#descendants#Chloe Charming#Red Hearts#Bridget of Wonderland#every time the girls make a decision that shifts the timeline it just reboots everyone’s brain#and ofc it’s impacting Bridget the worst because they’re trying to rewrite her brain chemistry to NOT turn evil and hate her daughter
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Sharing one of the more powerful quotes from this current chapter of The Nazi Seizure of Power: The Experience of a Single German Town, 1922-1945.
The situation, where even heroism was denied the men of the democratic Left, came about in no small part because of the failure of the Social Democrats to understand the nature of Nazism. Just as their basic premise in the years before Hitler came to power was the erroneous assumption that the Nazis were essentially Putsch-ists who could not possibly attract a mass following, so their basic premise after Hitler came to power was the equally erroneous assumption that his would be a government similar to the others of the Weimar period.
The most eloquent document on this was the set of instructions sent out to SPD Locals in District Hanover on March 23, 1933. It was filled with instructions about sending for handbooks on Socialist policy in communal affairs and filling out questionnaires; in short, carrying on business as usual. The only reference to the phenomenon of Nazism was contained in paragraph seven;
Will the election of our village and town representatives be approved? That is a question which is repeatedly being asked. The question is unanswerable because we do not know what this government will do. However, in any case, we must, now as always, select trustworthy comrades as village representatives wherever we have a majority. Should they later not be sworn in, then we will take a position on this. Under no circumstances should we value any of our rights cheaply.
This at a time when SPD leaders were having their houses searched in the middle of the night for weapons! This when the officers of the Reichsbanner were being herded into jail by Storm troopers, beaten in the prisons across Germany, cast into Nazi concentration camps! The SPD, the only defenders of democracy in Germany, the men who should have been gathering guns and calling the general strike, or at least developing an underground with passwords, false names, and other paraphernalia of effective covert resistance, were instead being urged to keep the party files in order, to avoid bookkeeping errors, and above all to purchase the latest pamphlet on parliamentary tactics in village councils.
If the central offices of the SPD did not know “what this government will do,” the local socialist leaders in Northeim soon found out.
(the book goes on to describe the experiences of five Northeim Social Democrats over multiple pages of raids, imprisonment, misery, and persecution)
#last year I watched the presidential campaign run by the Democrats#and had the exact same feeling and thoughts that this passage gave me today#quotes#history#I’m not truly angry with anyone except the elites#but I’m really upset quietly with a lot of people for drinking kool aid after so many signs and everything#you can do what you want#for sure#but I’m no longer going to go out of my way to help others who don’t ask prepare for what’s happening#you have a brain think it through yourself you know?#not in a mean way just in a get off the fucking news cycle and think for a week you know?#this isn’t a vague post about anyone I promise! it’s just a general frustration post#I’m glad people can get away with not seeing#it’s more comfortable than accepting the coming discomfort#and it’s more comfortable than going too far down understanding lane and ending up at distress panic mansion#but if you want to keep yourself and anyone you care about functioning in coming years#you have to decide for yourself to be or become capable of doing what that takes no matter what#if you need to get yourself out there is no one who can make that final decision besides you.#if you need to prepare for some change to your hobby or work or life routine you need to do that and no one can figure it out for you.#if you need to protect someone else’s safety you need to decide how you can do that without folding or making mistakes.#if you’re confused and don’t feel like you know enough of what is going on you have to fix that for your own brain and verify source truth#it’s just the time to either calmly adapt or to make life harder for future me and I know which option I’m already working to choose#hope for the best prepare for the worst and expect something solidly in between#that’s what I’m going by now#no one knows what will happen for sure. but we do know how fast things have changed for other places before#there are going to be long strings of struggle ahead#we all will choose what people we want to be as we navigate them#I hope we all make it#shh katie#Nazis
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just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.
I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?
i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...
#snap chats#thats why we have tag rambles AHAHA#ok so to tackle things one at a time charles ultimately deciding to stay in space despite his expressed want to return to earth#obviously it was when lilandra pointed out if her sister took charge of the shi'ar then the universe- earth included- would be in peril#charles notes his position as a losing one: whichever choice he makes he loses#he goes to earth then the universe could be at stake/he stays in space he loses his kids#of course charles COULD just put his faith in the starjammers but is that a risk he wants to take ? evidently not#charles' reoccurring flaw is he's willing to sacrifice personal relationships for the greater perceived good#even lilandra acknowledges this- that charles' homesickness for earth was an inevitability just as she is indebted to protecting the stars#so now his ruptured relationship with illyana and co- esp right after comforting a split illyana last issue#we've seen charles act more coldly/rashly when he's about to lose people (i think of his first death with the og5 mostly)#i mean it's a key part to charles' chara that he doesn't favor mind controlling others and im sure he has the same regard for his students#he's aware of the damage it can do and in this instance- for one reason or another- he orders it to be done regardless#im sure he does this as a form of defense: if his kids are upset with him they won't feel too bad about losing him and it'll be less painfu#obviously we still see sam wish charles farewell and wish for him to come back soon but yk.. worthy attempt..#and it's not as if charles wants them to hate him ENTIRELY.. he's still touched by sam's goodbye no.... fickle man he is..#i dont think charles is totally afraid to confront the og5- its what made him want to return to earth with the nms initially#tho again.. could his decision to stay in the stars be influenced by that? that maybe he ISNT prepared to confront them like he thought?#who's to say... not me i dont got that psych degree yet..#erik being charles' trusted confidant definitely made his decision easier on top of that: i mean is he needed if he has a substitute#i think charles DOES wholly trust erik: charles really doesnt approach his x-men half heartedly. from his pov ofc#if he didn't genuinely believe in erik's potential he wouldn't have picked him; hes a comforting thought when charles decides to depart#'although i'm gone erik understands me and my goals enough to continue my work as good as i would have so i have nothing to worry about'#which. yk. makes the whole White King thing kinda awkward VJAELVJEAKL charles you fool#i have no idea how this saga ends though... tbh im only on ish 45 of NM i just read 50 and 51 to get context for this ask#so i can only wait and see how this saga turns out... once i finish reading house of m/secret invasion stuff jvLKEJKA#idk im tired and rambling dont pay attention to me.. ramblin bout charles' brain is a good day for me regardless if i make sense jVLAJ
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why do all of my favorite characters keep getting impaled both literally and metaphorically by a thousand sword blows representing the eternal weight of hatred and pain they must carry all by themselves why does this keep happening (this is about anthy himemiya and xie lian)
#im gonna go crazy one of these days#btw i know anthys character is far from ANYTHING else in fiction#suffering from all of patriarchy's hatred literally and so on and so forth THE blorbo of all time for me but like look at the parallels#can't phrase this any further bc my brain will explode but i could write a thesis about these two martyrs +#+ who fall down in the mud and make bad decisions bc victims are allowed to be flawed and theyre so so scared and so young#and just need to be truly loved and understood to be freed i rlly can't#rgu#revolutionary girl utena#tgcf#mxtx tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#xie lian#anthy himemiya#shoujo kakumei utena#sku#rant#mine
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