#my boss is 48 and god he’s such a character. so full of life and energy he shocks me sometimes omg

[songtwo]

been thinking abt this a lot lately and like growing up is SO scary but a lot of that fear comes from being so removed from older people. personally bc of my job this year i have gotten really close to 40+, even 60+ year olds and they’re so full of life and energy and joy and it’s like. they tell u all the time but being close to them u see it for yourself life doesn’t end at 30 like there is always so much to do and so much time to do it all like!! if anything i’m no longer scared to grow older but instead im excited to see where life will take me and hope im half as eager to live when reach certain ages!

[fauzhee10069]

JoJolion: The Hard Life of Nijimura Kei

…and how she was criminally underutilized by Araki.

Nijimura Kei, the other Joestar in JoJolion besides Josuke & Holy, who was alive during the JJL storyline (until her last role). She was introduced as a young woman in her early 20s, working as the maid in Higashikata, the richest family in Morioh where most of the family members are spoiled.

JJL Chapter 7: Josuke, Go to the Higashikata Family

She was a Stand user, using 「Born This Way」, an automatic Stand that activates when the person she has targeted opens something to attack Josuke as a temporary side boss/antagonist. Knowing that it’s automatic, this sealed her fights to be very limited and hard to develop further (both in terms of mechanism and plot).

It turned out that she is a Joestar and related to Josuke, the main protagonist.

JJL chapter 16 and 17

And her role as Higashikata’s maid was just a disguise to investigate Higashikata's family secret and help her family (mainly her mom, Holy).

JJL Chapter 17: The Lemon and the Tangerine

Kei's life at that time should have been pretty tough, when she got news that her brother had just been declared dead and her mother was terminally ill.

Her father died when she was barely a little girl (according to family tree, Kei was born in 1989 and her father died in 1991, making her just around 2 years old when she lost her father).

As a widow, it also made Holy to have to work as a career woman to support her young children (9 years old Yoshikage and 2 years old Kei were left fatherless). And indirectly took away her time as a 'mother' for Kei.

JJL Chapter 50: Vitamin C and Killer Queen - part 1, look how little Kei looked lonely with her doll.

And back to present time (2011), Kei also had to lose her brother (Yoshikage) and lived alone with the only family member who really depended on her (a very ill mother).

JJL Chapter 58: Dawn of the Higashikata Family

I'm not sure Kei's salary as a maid alone will be able to cover her mother’s medical bills, plus she was in undercover so she couldn't show herself as her family member out-of-nowhere.

The family mostly depended on Yoshikage to pay for it, and very unfortunately that Yoshikage is already dead, causing the payment to be stopped. I'm sure Kei did not want this to happen to her mother, but sadly she couldn't do much.

Supposedly, after Kei's true identity and role were revealed, there should be a secret collaboration between her and Josuke. Too bad we never see it, Kei only occasionally appeared as cameo or one of the 'victims' of the Stand attacks from rock-humans (aka. jobbing).

JJL chapter 75 and 48, not doing anything and got jobbed by 「Vitamin C」& 「Ozon Baby」.

And when she did not get any significant role through the story, she was doing her own business. Turned out that she had been taking care of her mother in hospital.

JJL Chapter 102: The Wonder of You (The Miracle of Your Love) - part 19

And taking care of someone who is in a coma like that is not something that everyone’s willing to do. Surely everyone loves Holy, despite her lesser time as Kei's mother due to her job, her daughter still loves her and that’s why she was willing to take care of her in such a way.

Still, having a life like Kei's is a tough one… and not everyone can live it.

And when Kei got her new significant role in the story, her last chance to help the protagonist as his ally…

Araki gave her such badass intro only to…

JJL Chapter 104: The Wonder of You (The Miracle of Your Love) - part 21, get jobbed once again.

Kei's role in JoJolion is quite disappointing, she is a Joestar, a Stand user, and unlike her mother’s condition, she was fit and well so she should be able to do a lot more than Holy as a Joestar.

Kei is connected to the main protagonist, biologically related in a weird way and she held an independent mission as a spy in the Higashikata family. There should have been a lot she could have done in exchanging information and cooperating with Josuke, but her only product to Josuke throughout the story was an information regarding 'equivalent exchange' ability in Higashikata's land and nothing more.

And in the climax arc of “Wonder of You” where it was Kei’s last chance to cooperate with Josuke in defeating the big villain, when we were expecting an exciting 2-vs-1 battle, her role was only as far as a messenger as she delivered the cellphone (message) from Yasuho and just… die, nothing more to it.

Caato got a great intro (so great that she was wrongly hyped for years), but was absent for a long time and suddenly came back just to die. But even so she still left an impactful impression by defeating the main villain and breaking the family curse.

Too bad, Kei’s character who underwent similar thing ended up just jobbing like that… with her last action that was not so impactful, because we need to surprise the readers.

Kei might be a disappointment, regarding her role as a ‘character’ in JoJolion. But if we look at her as an ‘individual being’ with a life of her own (using the mindset that we are the main characters in our own lives), she had lived a very hard life. And we need to appreciate her toughness, that she still lived her life well, that she did not fall into moral turpitude, or becoming a criminal. She did not abandon her family even though they became a burden to her.

My personal confession:

Kei could be the person I admire right now because I am currently experiencing similar thing as her life. My father got covid and currently he is hospitalized. It’s been around 2 weeks right now. We both live off the island away from family, so I am the only family member who is able to support him. A few days ago he needed a platelet donor, those were the hardest days for me as the only family trying to look for. At least those days have passed. But until now he has not recovered yet and is still being treated in hospital.

Our apartment is far from the hospital so I have to go back and forth there for about 30 minutes almost every day to deliver the basic things he needs. I also have a full time job that can't be left behind. So just imagine how tired I am.

Unlike Kei who can visit his mother and directly take care of her, I can't see my father at all (and you know why). Even so, I stayed strong and did what I could as his daughter, just like Kei. And Kei became part of my inspiration to be as tough as her. Of course I still hope that these hard days will end soon and our family can be happy again together.

Let's pray for the recovery of my father and anyone else who is also seriously ill at this time.

Update: 7/15/2021

Unfortunately, my father just passed away at noon, 7/13/2021. May God forgives his sins. Bless for you all who still have your family intact, and pray for anyone who also lost their loved one by this terrible pandemic.

[mshermia]

A Dream Or A Nightmare

By @mshermia for @blackchessknight

Rating: Teen & Up

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Natasha Romanoff, Helen Cho, Steve Rogers, Ned Leeds

Summary: Peter gets hurt during a mission. When he wakes up, it dawns on Tony that Peter doesn't remember a few things; he didn’t just forget about Tony but also being Spider-Man. While Peter thinks he's living his teenage dream spending time with the freaking Avengers, Tony is petrified he might never get the kid back who remembered being his son.

Many thanks to @friendly-neighborhood-exchange for all their work on this! This story is part of the Friendly Neighborhood Exchange #4.

AO3 Link

There were post-mission problems - like when Tony had to iron out the kinks in his suit - no pun intended-and had to pick up the bill for the remodel of a skyscraper - but then there were post-mission problems - like when his kid was passed out in a hospital bed, both his legs and one arm in a full cast.

Like right now.

It had been a few hours since they had patched him up, but so far, there was no sign of consciousness in Peter. Cho had reiterated once or twice that his body simply needed the rest and Tony would just have to be a little patient for his healing factor to pick up the pieces. It would take a little time and a lot of energy and Tony would just have to sit there and let Peter's body do its job.

Which was just great. Really. Just awesome, because patience, well, patience was one of Tony's core qualities. He was great at it. Top tier.

With a groan, he buried his face in both of his hands. They were at 8 hours and 47 minutes now. 8 hours and 47 minutes since Cho had rolled Peter out of the treatment room, her face solemn but not unkind.

"Just go lie down, Tony," she had said. "It'll be a few hours before he wakes up. Just get some rest."

Like that line had ever worked on him. Like he had ever left Peter's side after a mission before. No, even if the thought of May's ghost coming back and haunting his ass for leaving Peter would have had its perks, he'd made a promise and meant to keep it. The kid was it for him. His responsibility. His job. Out of all of them, by far Tony's favorite job. His life, really.

There was no version of this where he would move from Peter's side.

The idea of sleep at this point was a farce. Whenever Tony even attempted to close his eyes, the memories of that afternoon washed back up. No matter how deep he tried to bury them, they just wouldn't stay covered. He could still see it, the force with which Peter had been smashed into the building. Could still hear the white noise of his racing heart as he had desperately tried to move the debris under which Peter had been buried. He didn't need the nightmares that were waiting for him to just give in, to rest and sleep. No, when Peter would wake up that was when he'd even start to think about getting some rest.

With all his determination - and the frequency that Tony had spent time next to Peter in the med wing over the last year or so - you'd think he might have invested in a few more comfortable chairs but there was something about him being in discomfort that made waiting for his kid to wake up a little more bearable. Only this time, it took a little too long. This time it wasn't just Tony's back that was strained and his legs that were cramping. His nerves were on edge. 8 hours and - now - 48 minutes. 

It felt like it was a little too long. He couldn't remember Peter ever being out cold this long before.

It took another 2 hours and 21 minutes until - thank the gods, all of them - Peter's eyelids fluttered. Slowly at first, confused and dazed until he squinted to the side, looking right at Tony.

"Good morning, sunshine," Tony greeted him, the smile on his lips entirely genuine.

For what felt like an unusually long moment, Peter simply looked at him like he didn't really see him. Like Tony was part of the wallpaper rather than sitting there, leaning in closer. The poor little buddy was still all punch-drunk, a little lost even.

"How's your head, kid?"

Peter blinked a couple of times, his eyes growing a little rounder, definitely wider, but his gaze never left Tony's face. "You... You're Tony Stark."

Panic flashed through Tony faster than lightning, goosebumps rising on his arm. Was he... did he not remember?

Peter's eyes on the other hand grew a little wider if that was even possible. "OMG, Iron Man... you're Iron Man." The corners of his mouth pulled into a wide smile.

That little prankster... Tony huffed out a breath, one hand clutching his heart. "Jeezes kid, you almost had me." Adrenaline was still pulsed through him but he couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't often, that Peter's pranks worked on him.

"H-had you?" The smile on Peter's lips faltered just as his brow furrowed. "Oh... oh, what the..." He pressed his eyes shut. Fingers and thumb of his right hand - the one left cast-free - rubbed across his temples. 

As fast as Tony's cramping legs allowed, he rushed forward, one hand on the back of Peter's head, the other on the side of his face. "It's okay..." With practiced ease, his fingers ran through Peter's hair, tracing back and forth across his skull with just enough pressure that it should help ease the pain.

Little by little, Peter's heavy breathing slowed, the tension on his face slowly ebbing away. 

"FRI, let's tilt up that headrest a bit." As the bed was moving Peter into more of an upright position, Tony tried to catch his eye. "That better?" 

When their eyes met, he couldn't help but flinch at the look of utter confusion on Peter's face. "Y-yeah," he mumbled, never looking away from Tony.

"Where else does it hurt?" Tony's fingers were still rubbing back and forth through Peter's soft locks, the pressure low just like Tony knew May used to do for him. Like he had done so many times ever since it had been just the two of them.

"I... I'm not..." He couldn't seem to find the words. "What happened?"

Tony tried to swallow the rising panic attack that was brewing just below his skin. "You don't remember?"

Just then, the door edged open. Natasha stuck her head into the room. "Well, look who's back amongst the living!" She smiled warmly as she stepped in.

Peter's face on the other hand went a little paler. "It's... it's the Widow," he mumbled to himself, then sucked in a shaky breath. "Black Widow and Iron Man. Black Widow and Iron Man. This is... this is... wow."

Nat glanced over at Tony, her eyebrows slowly rising. "Uh-oh... that doesn't sound good."

Tony swallowed hard. "FRI, can you get Helen for us? Fast."

 "Right away, boss."  

Peter's eyes blinked up to the ceiling. "Shit, that's so cool."

"Hey, buddy..." Tony's hand on the back of his head gave it a soft squeeze, just enough to get his attention back. "Pain level? On a scale of 1 to 10, where're we at?"

"Erm..." He wasn't even blinking, just staring at Tony.

"1 is stubbing your toe, 10 is Toomes dropping a building on you." His heart was racing but this was absolutely not the time for Tony to have a panic attack.

"A... a building," Peter asked, dumbfounded.

"Fuck." Tony's hands were starting to sweat.

A glance at Natasha didn't help his nerves at all. A deep frown and an unambiguous sense of worry had replaced the cool facade she usually displayed.

Once again, the door to the room was pushed open. Helen Cho was on the other side of Peter's bed before Tony had even blown out a deep sigh of relief. With Helen, Peter was in good hands, the best hands.

"Hi there, Peter." Helen smiled down at him before her eyes moved back to the monitor displaying his vitals. "It's good to see you up."

"Er... hello."

"His memory," Tony spluttered. "Please, do something!"

"Alright, relax..." Natasha stepped up next to him, her hands on his arms pulling him away from Peter. "Give her some room to work."

"It's okay. I got him, Tony." Helen gave him a smile that was surely meant to look encouraging. It was everything but that though. It resembled the one that she had given him right after the last time Tony had needed a long-ass session in the cradle, resembled it a little too closely for Tony's liking. Her smile turned a little warmer when she looked back at Peter. "Do you know who I am, dear?"

"You..." Peter blinked a few times, his cheeks turning pink. "You're the doctor? M-my doctor?"

"My name is Helen."

"Oh, right..." Peter gave a swift smile. "He-hello Doctor Helen."

"Do you know who this is?" She pointed at Tony.

The nervous little laugh that bubbled out of Peter would have been cute in any other circumstance. "That... that's Tony Stark," he whispered, repeatedly glancing at Tony, then added "Iron Man" just as quietly and with just as much awe.

Helen's smile didn't falter though. "Do you remember when you met Tony for the first time?"

"Er... well, yeah actually, it..." He rubbed a hand through his hair, eyes now on the sheets. "When I was... er... when I was 8. He..." The color on Peter's cheeks turned a little darker. "well, we didn't like meet-meet but kind of... met at the Expo. He... he helped me. Erm... blasted one of those Hammer drones away that... that was right in front of me."

Helen stole a glance in his direction but Tony could only shake his head. He had no idea what Peter was talking about. 

"Okay, what is the last thing you remember doing?"

Peter opened his mouth, then frowned. "I... er..." For a moment he just sat there, blinking at her, mouth still open. "I... I don't know."

"Alright. That's okay. Look at me for a moment." She leaned towards him, a little flashlight in her hand. "Do you know what day it is?"

"Er..." He struggled to keep his eyes open as Helen moved the light from one eye to the other.

She studied him closely, her frown deepening. "What year?" 

Peter didn't even try for an answer this time. His face fell a little with every passing moment, panic steadily replacing the awestruck expression on his face. "I don't... I don't know. I don't know!"

"It's alright," Helen soothed, patting his shoulder.

With wide eyes, Peter turned to Tony like he had all the answers but he was completely useless, struggling to even think of how to start fixing this. "What's happening, Helen? What... what do I need to do? Talk to me!"

"Okay, let's just... let's just stay calm." Natasha took another step forward, positioning herself between Tony and Peter's bed. "Tony, I'm looking at you."

His eyes shot up at her but the loud drum of his heart thundering in his ears made his head hurt.

"Right," he breathed.

"Listen, this, er..." Peter's voice was quiet, close to shaking. "Thank you, you know, but I... I should really call my aunt and uncle. They... they're probably worried and I don't want them to have to worry because if they worry then I worry and I—"

"Alright, just..." Tony's heart was racing. "We'll... we'll figure that out, okay?"

It took all the strength he had not to go running from that room. If his nerves had been rising before it was no contest to the adrenaline that was now pumping through Tony's veins. 

Peter didn't remember. Ben and May Parker were dead and the kid didn't remember.

Instead, he was staring at Tony, eyes wide in starstruck wonder. "Oh, okay," he nodded, cheeks burning. "Thank you, Mr. Stark."

Before Tony could even think about how he was supposed to deal with telling Peter the truth, once again, the door to his room was pushed open. This time it was Rogers, positively humming with his never-fading good spirits.

"Hi there, Peter." Steve cringed as he took in the casts on both his legs and arms, then winked. "You look a little tied up there."

"Captain America... Captain America knows my name," Peter mumbled as if to himself, eyes wide in awe. 

Eyebrows raised, Steve's glance shifted to Helen, then Tony. "Yikes."

The room was getting too crowded, giving Tony a fresh vibe of claustrophobia. Like she could smell it on him, Natasha grabbed him by the arm. 

"Maybe you should discuss the details of the situation with Helen in her office, hm?" 'Or anywhere but in this room' - was what her eyes were saying instead. 

"No," Tony mumbled. "I can't— I won't—"

"Nat and I will keep Peter here some company," Steve chimed in before flashing a toothy smile at Peter. "Sound good, kid?"

Mouth a little gaping, Peter nodded slowly. 

"Nat can tell you about the time she went to Kalkutta and tried to outsmart Bruce Banner," he smiled even wider. "That sound good to you?"

"Really... er... really good," Peter mumbled.

The idea of leaving Peter had Tony's anxiety spike but not as much as the thought of having to tell him about his uncle's murder and his aunt's illness. He didn't resist, letting his feet fall in front of each other one step at a time as Helen tugged him by the arm.

"We'll figure this out, Tony," she said after she closed the door behind them. "Just take a breath."

"I'll take a breath when I know he'll be okay," Tony hissed through his teeth. "What is going on? You said you did a scan! You said he'd be fine!"

She held up her hands like it was going to calm him. Like he was a fucking horse that got a little spooked.

"I'll have to run some more tests but with how you described his crash, it is likely that he suffered a traumatic brain injury which affects the memory-storage areas of his brain, which is why we originally did the first scan when you brought him in."

Goosebumps erupted on his skin and had him shiver in reaction. "He's got amnesia."

"Right," Helen nodded. "We'll have to monitor him to figure out how much of his memory he has lost and if it's limited to a retrograde amnesia or also impairs his ability to form new memories."

"Jeezes." His face buried in both his hands, Tony had trouble focusing on one coherent thought himself. He swallowed hard, eyes back on Helen. "Well, when are his memories going to be back?"

Helen's face was somber. "It's something we will have to reevaluate step by step."

"But..." Panic, worse than before, was making his heart race. "But he is going to get his memories back, right?"

"I don't know, Tony." Her sympathetic frown was not helping with his panic at all. 

"Well, what do you know?!" 

"Hey..." The door to Peter's room had opened and closed. Steve was next to him in a matter of moments. "You need to keep it down out here." One of his hands was on Tony's shoulder and led him further down the hallway as his head bowed towards him. "We'll figure this out, Tony. Just breathe, okay?"

It was easier said than done. Tony's lungs were reluctant to work. With every frantic beat of his heart, panic seemed to vibe in his core a little stronger. 

His focus was still on Helen. "There has to be something we can do, just... just tell me what I have to do!"

"I'm sorry, Tony, there is just too little that we know. With his healing factor, the injury to his brain might have been more severe than we could detect by the time you brought him to the Compound. It's possible that his body had already started the healing process and what we see now are the lingering symptoms from the injury." 

"He can't... he can't even remember his aunt and uncle dying! What..." Tony tangled both hands in his hair, pulling hard like the pain of it would ease the agony of his racing mind. "What am I supposed to tell him?"

"It's a difficult situation," Helen said, entirely unhelpful.

No longer able to keep his feet still, Tony moved away from her, back towards the door of Peter's room only to remember that behind lay his kid that didn't remember ever really meeting him. Didn't remember the months of agony after May's death they had overcome together. Tony couldn't do that again. He wouldn't be able to bear it, to see the kid hurting like that again, not now when Peter had finally managed to brave the heartache of his loss.

Tony turned away from the door to stalk down the corridor, running as far away as his trembling legs would let him, only to be stopped by Steve.

"Just sit down for a moment, okay?"

Tony shook his head. He couldn't sit. He couldn't keep the panic at bay any longer. He was going to combust.

But instead, two strong hands pressed down on his shoulders and he found himself sat in one of the chairs that lined the med wing's hallway. As fast as his knees gave way, so did his emotions finally bubble out of him. His face hidden behind both his hands, Tony tried to cover up the tears, his unsteady breathing as his anxiety got the better of him. Steve's hand that lay heavy around his shoulders actually didn't hurt. It grounded him just enough to cling to some of his composure.

"You should get some sleep," Steve mumbled. "He's not gonna be awake for long anyway with his body still healing. Just... lie down and rest and—"

"No," Tony croaked. Steve's arm slid away as Tony sat up straight again. "I'm not going anywhere." Repeatedly, he rubbed the sleeve of his sweatshirt across his face. "I'm all the family he has left. Just me and—" 

Right, there was one more person that was like family to Peter, like a brother.

"FRI!" Tony's eyes flickered up to the ceiling. "Get Happy to pick up Ned Leeds. Tell him to hurry."

 #

 For an hour and a half, Tony allowed Steve to distract him in the communal kitchen. He ate some of Sam's lasagne, snuck about 4 cups of espresso until FRIDAY finally announced the arrival of Ned and Happy.

It wasn't Ned's first visit to the Compound. Even though Tony and Peter usually lived at the Tower, he had taken the boys out to the Avengers complex upstate for a number of weekend trips. It got Peter's mind off his worries and the awestruck look on Ned's face was always a picture.

This was likely the first time that Ned refrained from gawking at the high ceiling of the lobby, his eyes on Tony.

"Let's go," Tony mumbled, dipping his head toward the med wing.

Ned didn't hesitate, his tension visible in his clenched fists. "What happened?"

Tony gritted his teeth, pushing the memory back down that wanted to send him spiraling once again. "He got thrown against a building and that hard skull of his brought down the whole thing on top of him."

Ned blew out a shaky breath. "But he's awake?"

"Yeah, only can't remember m-much." Tony had just about stopped himself from a 'remember me' slipping off his tongue.

Ned glanced at him. "And you think me being here will help?"

"He doesn't remember that May and Ben are dead. I think maybe... maybe a friendly face will help. Even if it doesn't trigger anything. Just to..." Tony sucked in a sharp breath, "to soften the blow."

Ned cursed then his head turned back to Tony. "Wait, but..." He shook his head. "He still knows who you are, right?"

Avoiding Ned's face, he tried really hard to keep the emotion out of his voice. "He remembers Iron Man."

Before Ned could say another word, Tony pushed open the door to Peter's room. Natasha was still sitting next to his bed but quickly receded to the back wall as Peter's enthusiastic voice echoed through the room!

"Ned! You're here!" Awkwardly with his legs and one arm a little elevated in their casts, Peter waved at him with his good hand. "Hi there, Mr. Stark," he added, his cheeks once again blushing profusely.

"Shit, dude, your legs!" 

A little hesitant, Ned moved closer to the bed. But when Peter stretched out his hand, ready to greet him with their signature handshake, the tension in Ned's shoulders lifted.

"I know right? It's sick!" Then he shrugged. "At least it should get me out of PE."

"For a little while at least." 

Helen had made her way back into the room right after them. She placed a hand on Tony's upped arm, squeezing it reassuringly. This is where they were supposed to start. Talk about Peter's physical recovery before they headed down the dark winding road of his amnesia.

"When you've eaten, we'll have to get a couple more scans in but right now," she continued. "But right now I see no reason why it should take you longer than the normal ten days for multiple broken limbs until the casts can come off."

"Ten days? What," Peter snorted. "What kind of doctor are you?"

"Dude..." Ned's eyes were wide, as he glanced over at Helen.

"I... I'm sorry! So sorry," Peter's face turned beet-root-red. "I just... last time I broke my arm it... it took like seven months till the cast came off. Re-remember, Ned? I...I couldn't even play with your new playstation all summer!"

It didn't come as a real surprise to Tony, not at this point. He didn't remember being Spider-Man. Tony had feared as much since Ben Parker had died a few weeks after Peter's bite.

"Yeah, but..." Ned looked right at Peter. "But that was before."

"Before?" Peter frowned at him, then shook his head. "Before what?"

Both Ned and Helen turned to Tony, waiting expectantly for him to say something but Tony couldn't find the words. He didn't know where to begin. Before panic could take hold of his body and soul once more, it was Natasha who stepped up.

"Before you got your powers," she said like she was talking about yesterday's weather.

Slowly, Peter's eyes shifted from person to person before he glanced back at Nat. "My powers?"

"Yes, that was before you were bitten by a radioactive spider and developed superhuman strength and healing abilities." She tilted her head a little, studying him like this was the key that would bring back the kid's memory. "You also stick to things. Like walls."

"Radioactive spider?" Peter's eyebrows slowly rose closer and closer to his hairline. "And I stick to things." After another glance at Ned who nodded enthusiastically, Peter bit his lip. "So, I have superpowers. And I guess... I guess being here with you..." there was another pause while he gnawed at his lip a little harder. "I guess that means I use those powers to like help you?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Correct." 

The corners of Peter's mouth twitched. It was painfully obvious how he tried to suppress a wide smirk. "Can you imagine?" He turned to Ned. "May finding out I'm a superhero? She'd lose her mind."

"Er... Peter..." Ned's face was long and a little spooked.

"What?" Peter mumbled, the smile falling off his lips. He looked from one person to the next waiting for someone to offer up more information.

Tony's chest was tight but there was no way around it. This was his responsibility. He would have to be the one and he'd catch Peter once again when he would crumble under the news.

"Peter, I'm afraid your aunt and your uncle, they are no longer with us." Tony did his best to keep his voice clear, his tone sincere. He edged a little closer to Peter's bed then sat done at the foot end of it, ready to pull him close. "Ben died a little more than 2 years ago. May a year later."

"Oh." For a moment, Peter's face was blank, then he grimaced. "Damn, that's a little harsh, killing off the family to hang out with the freaking Avengers. Your brain's messed up, Parker," he mumbled under his breath. "I'm gonna have to bake them a cake."

"Pete..." Tony frowned and reached his hand out, not quite finding the confidence to take Peter's hand, he awkwardly squeezed the side of his bed instead. "I'm really sorry."

"Yeah, no, right..." Quickly, Peter nodded, his eyes on the hand Tony had edged towards him. "Me too. Me too. That's... that's not cool. I mean like... like bad."

Dread was crawling up Tony's spine. 

"So then," Peter cleared his throat. "I guess I'm not staying in the apartment anymore or did I..." He squinted at Natasha like she was the best source of good information. "Did I get a job?"

"No," Ned shook his head, a subtle sense of irritation swinging in his voice. "You live with Tony."

"With Tony?" Peter followed Ned's finger that was pointing straight at Tony's chest. "I'm living with Tony." His hand flew up to cover his mouth a little too late to cover the snort he hadn't been able to hold back. "Sorry, of course I do..." Peter mumbled through his hand as Ned turned around looking right at Tony, his face full of shock. 

All Tony could do was sit there. This was worse than he would have thought. This was a whole different level of denial.

"I'm sorry," Peter mumbled again then pointed at Ned, "you'll get such a kick out of this." The hand now rubbing across his face, he shook his head and mumbled, "God, I hope, I'll remember this when I wake up."

Tony's heart sank. It sank all the way to his stomach where it lay like a heavy undigestible piece of useless flesh. Which was worse, Peter's refusal to believe the painful truth or that the idea of him living with Tony was such a joke? A sense of bottomless sorrow washed over him unbroken as Natasha pulled him out of the room by his arm.

"He'll get there," she mumbled, squeezing both his shoulders. "It's a lot to take in all at once but there is no way around it."

"I... I don't know how to do this," Tony whispered.

"We're here with you." One of her hands forced his chin up, forced him to look at her through his tears. "We're right here with you. Every step of the way, okay?"

###

Of course, I couldn't resist making this a longer story, so there'll be a second chapter (probably) tomorrow ;)

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 09.10.20 lb

lol, lemme preface this by telling you what i know about the show from my out-of-context insta-viewing:

kabir sends his gf riddhima in to spy on vansh RAISINGHANIA (naam ka wazan check karein ji. kaafi hi bhaari-bharkam, just like the fake baritone the actor playing the character is being forced to put on.) vansh is some kinda shady, but idk WHAT SPECIFIC KIND of shady..... like is he just your garden-variety-evil-capitalist-ala-ambani-bezos, or is he into shit like drug smuggling and human/organ trafficking???? no one knows. maybe a little bit of both. but kabir’s a COP, and we all know that those fuckers are the shadiest shits around (#ACAB) so yeah, true to type, kabir shadyyyyyyyy. he’s actually the secret illegitimate son of vansh’s stepmom and together they wanna ruin vansh and take all his monies. so anyway, kabir sends in riddhima, who’s just a whole special brand of dumbass, but also extraordinarily determined in the way only tellywood heroines are. so she’s basically sticking her nose everywhere that doesn’t belong and being a pain in the ass of literally everyone in the show, including her own (coz she seems to get injured in novel and entertaining ways in every second episode.) kabir ultimately manipulates her into marrying vansh, while vansh has apparently married her KNOWING that she’s a spy and is probably playing the long game to see who her puppet-master is. long story short, heterosexuality is too potent a force and the Stupid Spy Girl and Gangsta Guy are currently slowly giving in to the Feelz™, despite missing that one-little-teensy-weensy-who-even-needs-it-in-a-real-relationship thing. y’know, that little thing called, idk, i think it’s called “TRUST” or some such strange unheard-of concept.

oh, in between all this there’s also some bizarre plot about some ex of vansh’s called ragini, who’s dead??? missing? idk. kabir is real interested in that and wants to jail vansh for it, but we’ve long forgotten about ragini by this point #RIPSis anyway, there’s some kinda statue of her’s in the attic or some shit, coz vansh is some kinda modern day gender-reversed medusa who turns women who cross him into statues??? idk man, idk. so riddhima is pretty much in constant danger of being statue-d.

also vansh has a requisite irritating famiy in tow, that he’s burdened with being in charge of (coz no rest for the unfortunate eldest son who lives in this godforksaken mansion, be that an oberoi or a raisinghania) feat: a dadi who is well-meaning, but as annoying as the one in IB was, constantly spouting platitudes about how vansh and Spy Girl trooooooly lurrrrrrrrrrve each other *kissy noises*; some chachi/chacha who are all “HEY WHY DOES HE GET TO BE THE BOSS, WE WANT CONTROL OF THE CRORE-ON KA BIJNESS TOO”, some very fake kanji-eyed siblings/cousins who are supreme bitches, and ofc one (1) normal sibling who is sweet but really does nothing around here. oh and there’s his right hand man/bff too, who seems to be not 100% (maybe just 83%?) incompetent like everyone else. that poor sod just got suckered into marrying Kanji Aankhon Waali Bitch Sister, who is pregnant with some total rando’s baby, and is just an all-round asshole to Riddhima/Right Hand Man, because “ugh, yeh do kaudi ke middle class naukar log, cheeeeee.”

ok now that the sasta, not-at-all-useful recap has been done, LET’S GET INTO THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

———————————————————————

the chachi is screaming her goddamn headdddd off coz her room is on fire. ofc it is. when has anything good ever happened in this manhoos house of horrors.

lmao the kanji eyed cousin has like 3% concern that his mom will be fried like a taaza jalebi. he's literally sauntering luxuriously towards his mom's room jaise park mein tehel raha ho.

chachi's screaming is getting on my nerves. aunty you're wasting valuable oxygen this way.  

riddhima is behind some secret box that aryan and chachi stashed in the room.

THESE PPL ARE SO CHILL ABOUT A WHOLE ROOM ON FIRE (note: it’s shivaay's room in IB) and they're just hanging out in the living room (which if you’ll remember, IS ATTACHED TO THE ROOM THAT WAS SHIVAAY’S) as if fire doesnt have a tendency to y'know..........  SPREAD RAPIDLY.

riddhima is fighting with the bloody fireman saying ki i need to save the box. #priorities

aaaaaaand the fireman is kabir, who has come to haath maarofy on Box of Secrets.

and we know this coz he did a DRAMAAAAAAAAATIC reveal by taking off his mask. in a room FULLY ON FIRE. idhar non-flaming rooms mein bhi ab mask nikaalna danger ho gaya hai, and this guy justtttttttttt dgaf. tum jaison ki wajaah se hi we can't bloody stop the spread.

my god this house has been decorated soooooooo fucking tackily. never thought the oberois would be the classy ones.

shady saasumaa and riddhima stinkeye-ing each other over a bowl of shehed. lol, what even. truly some "rasode mein kaun tha" lvl of politics.

oh ho, saasumaa and kabir lagaaofied the aag.

saasumaa gloating over the fact that riddhima will now never get her hands on Box of Secrets.

flashback time: hahahahaha KABIR LITERALLY LOBBED A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL INTO THE ROOM AND CHACHI DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING HEAR IT OR ANYTHING. lmao everyone in this show is a dumbass. how blissful life must be with just one (1) working brain cell.

riddhima runs into flaming room. ofc now we will have a prolonged sequence where kabir tries to keep his identity and riddhima being the dheent that she is, will give chase.

please note, that not even 48 hours ago, this woman walked barefoot on a bed of coals AND a hallway full of broken glass. AND NOW SHE'S RUNNING FULL SPEED BEHIND KABIR AS IF SHE’S PT USHA. SIS, TUMHARE PAIR HAIN KI KYA HAIN? YOU'RE LONG OVERDUE FOR AN INTENSE PEDICURE AFTER THIS WEEK.

and ofc, he got into a getaway car and made it away.

yeh lo, iss beech mein dadi behosh. ouff.

whooooooooops, dadi has some weird blue nishaan on her neck.

LMAO KABIR SHOT AT RIDDHIMA WITH A POISON BULLET OR SYRINGE OR SOME SHIT, WHICH HIT DADI INSTEAD. LMAO MAN THIS SHOW. IT'S SO FUCKING DUMB, I LOVE IT.

some more stinkeye politics between saas bahu.

bahu is passive-aggressively giving saasumaa roses to congratulate her on winning this round.

riddhima is dheent!max. she's like kuch bhi ho, i'll find the secret anyway and your victory will witherrrrrrr awayyyyyyyy like these flowerssssss and you will be left with the thorns that will prick youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

LMAO SAAS IS FULLY ROLLING HER EYES AT RIDDHIMA'S DRAMATIC ASS #SAME

just looking at helly's ears is making my ears hurt like a bitch. 

hey riddhima, have you ever thought that maybe this secret child of hers is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS?????? like honestly, the entitlement desis have to know the workings of other ppl’s wombs.

lol dumbass mummyji crumpled the flowers in her hand and played right into riddhima's stupid kaante waala metaphor. #ramMilayiJodi

hero ko covid hai toh ainvayi ke phone calls se kaam chalaana pad raha hai.

the dude left his house for literally the first time in months and the place is on fire and dadi got shot in the neck with poison. and the wife doesn't think she should tell him so that he doesn't become "pareshaan". sure, this seems like a dude who'll take this kinda thing real light when he finds out later.

(hint: he’s not. he’s a crazed, overprotective weirdo about his family. sound familiar?????)

this guy's dialogue delivery is so dodgy. idk what it is, it just seems so affected.

that plus the ainvayi ka editing just showing him in some random car (clearly from the earlier eps)  is just adding to the jankiness of the scene.

husband dude seems to know wifey's quirks quite well. kinda cute, kinda creepy. 

lol kal tak toh yeh banda itna romantic nahi tha. like he had a smooth moment here and there, but he was mostly real awkward and robotic and unsure how to handle These Strange New Feelings™. now he’s spouting cheesyass lines about being able to see the one who is special to you with dil ki aankhein and idk what.

who are these people who like SHARING their room with another person? #unrealistic

but i also i get you, riddhima. he was pretty much the only thing worth looking at in this room, coz the rest of it is so damn fugggggg. this room should be the one set on fire.

dang, some steamy scenes between them in the flashbacks. ouff abhi jaake episodes dhundne padenge. coz #tharkiTTisTharki

riddhima doing dadi seva. boooooooooring.

ofc dadi ki sui is always atkofied on playing cupid for pota, taaki she can score some par-pota/potis.

riddhima ki best friend ka happy birthday hai.

riddhima is like a lottttt has happened in my life, can't really tell you over a call. yup, that’s for sure. 

ok apparently sejal who said she’s in dubai now is NOT in dubai?? she's just up and flew to mumbai to "surprise" riddhima...... on HER OWN birthday? #doesNotCompute

lmao kabir's annoyance with mummy's useless glass of water. WHY DO MOMS THINK EVERYTHING CAN BE SOLVED WITH DRINKING MORE WATER?!?!?!!

now he's yelling at mom about how she's ruined everything. sure. blame the only one who's actually doing shit around here, while you sit on your ass in this room, glaring and growling like a hangry bear.

some menacing dialogue about how he needs to thikaane lagaaofy riddhima's hosh.

which has been overheard by bff sejal, who went and dropped a showpiece from shock. cool. so she gonna die. bye sejal, hardly got to know ya!

sejal being here doesn’t even make sense. she thought he was a PT teacher. then why did she show up here at his police waala office? also how did she connect the dots about the whole damn story with like 0.04% context that she got from what she overheard? kuchhhhhhh bhi.

[luki-fanfic]

KHR/BNHA Fanfic: Role Model Part 1

Sometime last week in the dead of night

My Brain: Hey, you know what?

Me: It’s 2am, why are we not sleeping???

My Brain: If Dabi is Todoroki Touya, then it means he’s a character that was trained for a future role he couldn’t have, that was taken away from him by his father figure due to circumstances outwith his control, was heavily scarred because of it, and as a result; wants to kill said father figure.

Me: …And?

My Brain: …And who would you say that describes almost perfectly?

Me:…

…

No.  Nonononono!  I do not need another plot bunny setting up shop in my-and we’re already getting out of bed and writing this down before we forget aren’t we?

My Brain: ^_^

Enjoy!

—

Role Model: Part 1

Xanxus would really like to know why, when other Trash screw up, he’s the one who has to pay for it.

Seriously, if it’s not his asshole of a not-Father lying his face off for a decade, it’s the baby-Trash getting flung into the future and knocking out the entire Varia high command for 48 hours while they process an additional decade of memories, or some kind of ramen-eating-God trying to kill his Mist via flame-devouring-pacifiers before he shoves one on Xanxus to do the same.

And people wonder why he has a short temper.  He’s a reasonable man!  Just give him a mission that doesn’t involve everything he’s ever known getting flung into a blender with a side of magical-crap and tossed 180 degrees in the air.  Whatever happened to good old Mafioso shoot outs and negotiation’s over dinner?

…God he misses assassinations pre-flame bullshit.  They were so much more fun when he was the only one in the room that knew how to use them.

And now…this.  

In the toilet attached to the lavish meeting room he’d found himself in, he leans over the sink and scowls at the face in the mirror.  A good decade older than he should be, with red, spiky hair and matching stubble on his chin.  Inarguably Asian features, skin paler than his own had ever been, and shoulders like goddamn Levi.

For fucks sake!  Now he has to deal with idiot-Trash in other universes screwing him over? This kind of thing is supposed to happen to the Baby-Trash!  Not him!

He’s still not entirely sure what happened.  One minute, he’s enjoying the last glass of scotch the Bronco-Trash sent over in gratitude for a job well done, the next, his brain’s free falling into nothing.  For a brief moment, panic had taken over, and - positive he was being put under the Zero Point again - lashed out the second he could use his arms.

This resulted in him knocking out someone leaning over his body, and when he heard metal smashing against hard floor – two things that shouldn’t have been anywhere near him - his eyes slammed open to reveal the inside of an ambulance, and a very nervous looking medic overlooking him.

“Endeavour, please relax,” he urges in Japanese, trying to retain eye contact as he kneels down to check on his prone partner.  “We’re still checking for any other effects from the Villain’s quirk.  Do you feel okay? Is there any negative blowback?”

Xanxus just glares at him, trying to piece the words together and wondering why the hell Squalo had called in an ambulance when they have a Quality medical team in the damn mansion, before his eyes catch a glimpse of his legs.

He can’t stop gaping as turns and takes in his full body, pulling up his hands in furious disbelief.

“What the fuck?” he yells, turning them over as if the front will be any less ridiculous.

Xanxus has never, in his life, worn something this humiliating.  It’s a skin tight (almost obscenely so), navy blue bodysuit with orange highlights, along with white bracer’s that go up half his arm and a pair of knee high boots – all of which reek like they’ve been hung to dry in a building undergoing an arson attack.

His first thought, is that whatever mist did this is going to pay.  Painfully.

“Endeavour, what’s wrong?” the man asks again, only to squawk as Xanxus shoves him with the heavy hand and stumbles to his feet, jumping out the door.

What he sees when he staggers outside the ambulance doesn’t help the situation.  While there’s cameras, they don’t look like they’re filming so much as reporting.  There’s chaos outside, but the citizens trapped behind yellow tape have him wondering if someone drugged his booze. Horns, wings, two heads…so many people in the crowd are just ‘off’ in a way that doesn’t make sense.  

An even deeper glance in front of the tape doesn’t make things any easier.  One of the men – he’s assuming police – has a cat head, while there are several men and woman dressed even more ridiculous than he is. One of them is dressed feet-to-nose in fucking denim!  

There are so many possible scenarios, and one is not raised by Vongola standards without acknowledging the truly ridiculous.  As such, the realisation comes very quickly.  This is not his world.  Not even remotely.

Denim-Trash is starting to make his way towards him, and he can feel the paramedics staring at his back.  His eyes flick down to his hand, and he tries to reach for his flames – searching for the primal rage and right of rule that encompass his entire will.

But there’s nothing.  His core feels empty.  Not sealed, but rather, just not there.  Wherever he is.  Whoever he is, flames don’t exist.

No flames.

That…complicates things.

The man in the ridiculous denim getup appraises him.

“You’re not Endeavour, are you?” he says.  Xanxus looks him over.  Considers his options.

“What makes you say that?” he growls.  Denim-Trash raises one eyebrow.

“Endeavour would be screaming blue murder at being put in an ambulance where anyone could see him.”

Well doesn’t ‘Endeavour’ sound like a charmer.  Not that Xanxus would act any differently, but he’d never need the fucking ambulance in the first place.  

The survivalist in him wants to play along.  Bluff his way into solitude until he can figure out what’s happening.  But the Boss part of him has already lined up his options.  There’s just too many variables here.  If he wants home, he’s not going to figure it out alone.

He huffs and crosses his arms.

“No,” he admits. “Looks like somebody royally screwed up.”

Denim-Trash sighs, and runs a hand through his perfectly styled hair.

“And to think, I thought this was going to be a slow week…”

—

He’s immediately ushered to a tall skyscraper not too far away from the incident site, and taken straight to the top floor, where the office of his ‘host’ resides.  There, he finds his way to the bathroom he now finds himself in, trying to compose himself while he figures out what the fuck to do.  Denim-Trash had handed him off to some kind of support staff, but it had been clear nobody had wanted to answer any questions until they had him contained.

It at least gives him time to recover.  He desperately wants a drink, if only so he can throw something at the assholes who are going to come escort him again.  

The information he has is limited.  There was a phone in his host’s pocket, but without knowing the code it was useless.  All he can go on is what he’s seen.  This city looks very Japanese, but the people barely qualify as human.  And the advertisements are all showing people he doesn’t recognise, who look like they should be hand drawn on the front of the comic books he used to read as a kid.  

His flames are also gone, and as far as he can tell, the concept doesn’t exist here. But this outfit was designed to handle fire, and he keeps hearing the word ‘quirk,’ which makes him think there might be something else that substituted on a more mainstream level.  

When he hears voices entering the office, he slams the door of the bathroom open and strides into like he’s not dressed like some idiot on a Sentai show.  He gives a huff of approval as he takes in the room again – the idiot’s whose body he’s somehow possessing might have awful taste in clothes, but he at least knows what he’s doing with interior decorating.  

There are five arrivals when he drops into the plush office seat, and he makes a point to push it away from the computer.  Along with Denim-Trash, one of them is dressed worse than he is and looks terrified to be here, while another screams ‘cop’ with his suit.  The third is an old woman, who merely cocks her eyebrow as Xanxus glides over the floor in the chair, and at her back is a man about Xanxus’s age, dressed in shapeless black and the world’s ugliest scarf.  Seriously, if his Sun was here, that thing would already be aflame, and the world would be better off for it.  

He leans on one hand and scowls.

“So?” he asks. “Figured out how to undo this yet, Trash?”

Terrified makes a squeak that reminds him of the Baby-Trash, but it’s Scarf-Trash that steps forward.

“We spoke to the Villain who attacked Endeavour, and tried to deactivate his quirk,” he explains.  “Unfortunately, once activated, it can’t be shut off.”

Xanxus files away the term ‘quirk’ for future research, and Cop-Trash starts speaking.

“Three days,” he says.  “That’s how long it takes to wear off.  Which is three days longer than anyone really wants the number 2 hero out of commission.”

“To be honest, it might be to our benefit,” the old lady adds.  “Endeavour is known for burning the candle at both ends, no pun intended.  A few days of forced relaxation could be just what he needs.  More importantly, I want to know exactly who we’re dealing with in the mean time.”

Xanxus immediately titles her as the smartest person he’s met so far.  Nobody else has even thought to ask.

“Yes,” the cop says.  “According the registry, his quirk swaps a person’s mind with someone of a similar mindset.  However, he also said that quite often, the people he brings do not seem familiar with this world.”

All of them - minus Terrified, who looks like he wants to sink into the floor – face him with curious looks.  Scarf-Trash also has a hand on his accessory, while Denim’s fingers are twitching.  

“So, who are you?” Scarf-Trash asks.  “And what’s your quirk?  According to records, it varies on whether or not it follows.”

Xanxus stares back, glaring in challenge.  The Cop’s eyes slide away, but the other three match him head on.  His lips twitch slightly in respect.

“My name is Xanxus,” he offers.  “And where I come from, superheroes belong in comic books.  I’ve never heard of ‘quirks’ before today.”

Terrified seems to perk up at that, and the others seem somewhat relieved.

“Well, this world may seem a little strange to you, but I promise you’ll be kept in good hands,” the older woman offers.  “And I’m sure Endeavour will try to keep a low profile until his return.”

Xanxus thinks about what would happen if a self proclaimed hero suddenly landed in the middle of the Varia mansion, and can’t fight the snort of laughter that follows.  It makes the old woman frown.

“That amuses you?” she asks, and Xanxus grins.

“My world is a lot more dangerous” he tells them.  “The criminal underworld is still a thriving commodity, and no quirks, so we don’t have heroes, and don’t look kindly on those that think that’s an option.”

Well, not unless you count a certain brat in Japan who still seems to think he can make the mafia a nice place through the power of friendship…

“It’s a cruel irony,” he continues.  “Your Endeavour isn’t going to know what to do with himself.  Better not get himself killed before we swap back.”

Their faces go dark at that, and Xanxus allows himself to grin.  If it’ll kick their asses into gear and get them to figure out how to get him home quicker, he’ll tell them anything they need to know.

“What about yourself?” Scarf-Trash asks.  “Not a hero, and no quirk, what is it you do back home?”

Xanxus quickly amends his earlier thought.  Certain things would not go over well in such company, and he’s still not sure how well he can defend himself.  It’s probably going to be better for everyone if he doesn���t mention his own personal alliance.  He’s sure Endeavour will do a fine job of explaining that once his traumatised ass returns.

“I run a field office that’s part of my adopted father’s company,” he bluffs. “Lot of classified, high pressure, time sensitive work.  Not looking forward to having it sit on a desk for 3 days.  My employees are going to go mental.”

There’s an understatement.  He guarantee’s Levi is already halfway through a mental breakdown, and Squalo will be screaming at whatever idiot made the mistake of walking down the hall.  Bel will take the opportunity to go ‘play’ (hopefully not with Xanxus’s body), and Mammon is already charging him for the inconvenience of this whole affair. He’s calling it now.

On the plus side, his audience seem to buy it.

“Well then, Xanxus,” the cop says.  “We’ll do our best to get you back as soon as possible.  Until then, I hope you’re willing to work with us to mitigate the damage.”

Xanxus rolls his eyes.

“What do you Trash want me to do?”

—

In the end, his jury decide that since Xanxus doesn’t have a quirk, and doesn’t appear to be able to use Endeavours (fire, which makes sense and is something he might see about rectifying while he waits), that they’ll hide him in his host’s home for the three days.  The man’s family has already been informed, but if he steps out of line, they’ll be taking him back into custody.

It could be worse, he guesses.  He’s in the body of someone important, which means they won’t do anything too damaging to him, and they’re working as fast as they can to get this Endeavour guy back.  He doubts he needs to do anything but stand aside and let them work. Since he’s the victim of a quirk and had no say, he’s clearly being treated with kid gloves.  

No, the biggest threat to getting home is, ironically, home.  If Endeavour is a- oh for fucks sake he can’t believe he’s saying this with a straight face – hero, having him land in Xanxus’s body will not end well for anyone.  The Varia are many things, and most of them are obvious – not even the densest man on the planet could look at them and think they were anything but criminals.  Which means he might run, and that’ll end badly since he’ll be eyeball deep in Mafia territory and probably try to find, ugh, law enforcement.  God willing, his inability to speak the language will convince the Vindice that it’s clearly not Xanxus doing it and keep him out of Vendicare.

Then again, that might be preferable for Endeavour trying to act his way out of it. For all his complaints, his men are Quality, and trained to spot possession and plants.  If Squalo or Bel don’t notice something is off within five minutes, Mammon will.  The lot of them are crazy, not stupid, which means when he gets back, his body will probably be covered in additional scars from ‘interrogation’ while they try to get him back ‘Varia-Style.’  They definitely won’t call in Vongola’s tech team till they’ve tried their own avenues, and Xanxus just prays they confirm that it’s his body before they let Lussuria bring out his ‘toys.’  

He really wants a drink, but he’s expected to keep this body in top condition, and no doubt the man’s family will want their precious hero in one piece, so it’s going to be a long three days unless he can sneak something.  Or maybe Endeavour will turn out to be a secret alcoholic and he’ll be just fine.  If not, he’s going to need to find something for entertainment, or flame or no flames, something is going to burn.

‘Terrified’ is apparently some kind of support aide for Endeavour’s agency, and is put in charge of handling Xanxus while he hides out.  It doesn’t fill him with confidence – the man is definitely used to sitting in the back and giving ‘yes, sir, no sir,’ answers.  As such, he’s not putting much stock in the Todoroki family bios the man is awkwardly stuttering out as they drive to his temporary home.  It sounds like the blurb for some crappy sitcom.  A stay at home wife, two teens, a pre-teen and a brat, all living in harmony.  The eldest son was supposed to be following in his fathers footsteps, but had to hold back on applying due to illness.  The daughter is a perfect Nadeshiko in training, the next boy is thinking about medical school at fucking 12, and the youngest is already on the path to enter hero school in a few years.

Xanxus is the last person to ask about functioning families, but there’s no way this happy cookie cutter description can be accurate.

The car rolls up to a lavish Japanese style house, and Xanxus gives it an approving nod. He’s always preferred Western design, but he won’t deny quality when he sees it.  The security is actually much better than he’d expected too – proper walls and cameras set up in a manner that means he’s missing at least a few.

When they stop, the front door opens to reveal the Todoroki family, and his good mood evaporates.  The woman is a twig, hands a little tight on the youngest boy, whose hair would probably make his Sun squeal.  Both of them are looking at him with some suspicion.  For that matter, so are the pre-teen and the girl.  However, to the side…

The oldest boy has a shock of red hair similar to his current body, and while he refuses to meet Xanxus in the eye for more than a few seconds, his body language is clear.  He’s relieved.

Interesting.

Terrified has been speaking to the wife while he took in his own impressions, but he turns his attention back when he realises they’re looking at him.

“It’s strange,” the woman says.  “You still look so much like him.  The expressions are…well, very familiar.”

She gives a strained smile, and Xanxus feels satisfaction curl inside at the pain the woman is hiding.  

‘I knew it. This Endeavour fucker isn’t half as honourable as they think.’

“I’m Rei,” she continues, oblivious to Xanxus having read her actions.  “We’ll set you up in one of the guest bedrooms for now, is that okay?”

“Is Dad really gone right now?” The pre-teen pipes up, and Rei’s head turns sharply in his direction.

“Natsuo!”

The boy in question pouts.  

“What?  If he’s gone, that means we can play with Shouto today right?  He can’t be trained.”

The youngest, still pinned by Rei’s hands, looks up at his mother with something resembling hope.  Her eyes flicker between him and Xanxus, unsure what to say.

“I haven’t got the slightest clue what training Endeavour-Trash was doing,” Xanxus says, making the decision for her.  “Do what you want.”

The little brat and the pre-teen both grin, but Xanxus notices the red head turning to look at them-

Oh, now that’s interesting.  It’s not there for long, but there’s a very specific array of emotions flashing on the teen’s face when he looks at his youngest sibling.  They’re gone almost too quick to notice, but Xanxus caught it all.

He’s the only one though, as the girl takes his comment as an invitation, suspicion fading away as she steps forward and into a quick bow.

“I’m Fuyumi,” she says.  “We’ll try to make your stay as comfortable as possible.  Is there anything you need?”

A drink and a plane ticket to Italy, Xanxus thinks, but he doesn’t answer, choosing to stare at the boy on the end.  

There’s something about the Trash’s appearance that’s bothering him, and he can’t figure out what.  His hair is long, definitely grown to hide his face, and he has the personality of a mouse judging from how much effort it takes to get him to raise it for more than a few moments. Every inch of his body is covered, from the turtle-neck down to the combat boots.  Given that it’s not a cold day and everyone bar Xanxus is in shorts, it’s probably a style choice.  But whenever he does look up, he’s grinning, and trying to hide it – between that and the earlier interaction, Xanxus makes his mind up rather quickly.

“How about a tour of this place?” Xanxus asks, and points at the teen.  “Yo, Trash, show me where I’m allowed to go.”

That gets the boy’s head up.  “W-what?  Me?”

Fuyumi looks a little blind sided, as does Rei, while Natsuo is frowning, but Xanxus just nods.

“Yeah, you,” he says.  “That a problem?”

“Touya?” Fuyumi asks, glancing at her other brother, but the teen – Touya, Xanxus tries to remember – just swallows and gives a shaky nod.

“Okay.  I can do that,” he says, and gestures with his arm.  “Follow me.”

Xanxus grins and does just that, passing the confused family and immediately tossing them out of his mind for now.  When they enter the building, the boy risks looking up at him, agitation on his face for the first time.

“Why me?” he asks.  “Fuyumi would have done it.”

“I didn’t want Fuyumi-Trash to do it,” Xanxus said.  “You’re more interesting.”

Touya’s eyebrows furrow, and Xanxus smiles – the expression slipping off when Touya flinches.

“Your old man, he’s Trash, isn’t he?”

The teen at his side pauses as he walks down the hall.  

“He…Endeavour is the Number 2 hero in Japan,” he replies.

“And my old man is one of the most powerful men in the world,” Xanxus counters. “Doesn’t change the fact that he’s a piss poor father”

Ah, there is is. Touya’s lips peel back in a wicked smile for a quick second, and Xanxus goes in for the kill.

“I picked you, because you’re the only one in this family not trying to hide it.”

Another flinch, and then the teen looks up at him, confusion in his eyes.  Xanxus faces him head on.

“I saw the look you gave the baby brat, Trash,” he tells him.  “Back when he learned he didn’t have to ‘train.’  I might have only gotten the media approved profiles, but I’ve seen this before.”

God has he ever seen it before.  Resentment at a sibling, followed by guilt for feeling resentment, finished off with anger at the whole situation.  He knows that look well.  Before his brother’s died, when the Ninth chose them one after the other instead of him, he wore it on a daily basis.

Before he knew why, and resentment and guilt disintegrated into pure rage.  

Touya almost looks guilty, and his eyes are getting wider by the second.  Xanxus grins.

Looks like he’s found his entertainment.

“I’ve got three days here, Trash,” he says.  “Quality can destroy worlds in one.  So why don’t you tell me what’s really going on in this house?”

[venus-says]

Futari wa Pretty Cure Splash Star Episodes 38-49 + Movie

So this is what I've been missing for all these years???

It has taken me 10 years of being a Precure fan for me to finally watch Splash Star from beginning to end, and I feel like a fool becAUSE I'VE BEEN MISSING SO MUCH, HOW COULD'VE I SPENT TEN YEARS WITHOUT WATCHING THIS??????? This series is so good, THIS ENDING IS SO GOOD!!!!!!! I've finished watching it yesterday and I'm still in awe. Gosh, I love this show.

But before I can talk about the ending, allow me to dedicate a small paragraph to comment on the movie. Originally I thought about making a separate post for the movie, but I don't have much to say about it so I'm adding this extra portion here (thank god I watched the movie before this was posted so I can add this beforehand). This movie is very lackluster, I got excited from the first scenes, watching it in HD and not DVD quality really brings way much more life to the screen and I was pretty impressed, but then Saki and Mai started to fight before their performance and all the joy went down because it immediately started to feel like Friends of the Snow Sky but worse because Saki and Mai were never this "hostile" against each other before so their fight doesn't seem true to their characters especially considering what originated this argument to begin with.

The movie exclusive characters are good, sadly they don't get that much time on screen and they also don't get a lot to do so they're not used to their full potential and they end up being just flat. In fact, I believe this is a good way to describe this movie, interesting concepts that aren't used fully because they wanna focus on this fight that makes no sense and that is something they've already done before. I don't know if this has to do with the weird duration of the movie, it's not even one hour long, or if it's just the script that is weak, but I really didn't enjoy this movie all that much. 😕

But now let's talk about the good stuff, let's talk about the ending of the season.

I have so many feels I don't even know where to begin with. Well to begin with, in the title of this post it says this is a review of episodes 38 to 49 but that's actually a lie since episodes 38 and 39 are just fillers that don't add much so I have nothing to comment on. But from episode 40 onward the show picks itself up and it just goes all out to wrap up this story in a very beautiful, exciting, and emotional way.

I admit I was a bit afraid of how this final stretch would go when I saw that the final Dark Fall general was defeated in episode 40, but they managed to wrap up this ending in a very clever way. Bringing back the defeated generals at first felt like a cheap way to do it, but the fact that the villains weren't back for just a single episode and considering there was no monster of the week, all the fights were against the generals themselves, it really enhanced the experience, it was like in the Mega Man games where you'll fight all the Robot Masters again in one of the Wily stages. It was also great that they came back WAY STRONGER and the girls really had to give their best to win those fights, I especially like that they lost right away when the villains came back because it's not always that we see precure losing so it was great to see just how much more difficult it would be for them to win in the end.

The final twist of Gohyan being the actual final villain wasn't all that much surprising, I mean he's the character who's always plotting something I knew he would betray Akudaikan at some point, and in normal circumstances, I'd wouldn't be pleased with this fake-out, but because Gohyan is a character we've seen since the beginning and he has been active, either plotting against his comrades or actually going against the precure, it worked. I kinda wish they had kept him in his "elderly" form, I think he works better that way, but seeing how great the action was for that final fight I'm more than okay with it.

If I had to say one thing that I completely disliked about this ending it's that, aside of the Christmas episode that once again had the pink try to deal with her feelings for a guy who doesn't look at them on a romantic way, having a four-part ending didn't really feel necessary. I think they could've made it in a way where episodes 46, 47, and 48, where focused in the actual fight, like episode 46 is the raid at Dark Fall, the fight against Akudaikan goes from Part B of 46 and Part A of 47, and then the final battle against Gohyan goes from Part B of 47 and lasts the entirety of episode 48, and then we have episode 49 focused for the aftermath and the epilogue. But that's just a minor thing because they hit the nail in the head in the important stuff so it's all good.

And speaking of action, THEY NAILED IT IN THIS PORTION OF THE STORY. I complained a lot about hoe the fights during the season weren't as good as they could've been, but if they were saving so much just so this ending could be so action-heavy and look so damn good as it was I feel like it was a good trade. Of course, the repeated shots of Bright and (especially) Windy using her powers are still here, but it's incorporated a lot better here and they do some actual creative stuff with it.

But the greatest thing of this finale was seeing Michiru and Kaoru finally being back, again I was reluctant about bringing them back so soon, but they knew what they're doing and they managed to do so much with them in this short amount of time. And I think it only works so well because they did an excellent job with them in their first arc so we as an audience can feel for them and we can also share the feelings Saki and Mai were having because we care about these characters just as much as they do. And I also like that they were brought back and they served a purpose, they weren't just extensions of Saki and Mai, they had their own concerns, they had their own issues so it wasn't like they were there to do just a single thing and they were able to conclude their arcs in a very satisfactory way. They've become really complex characters and I was always excited about seeing them on screen because I knew something great would come out of it every time, that being either them in their fighting scenes or while they were doing mundane stuff like Michiru enjoying helping at Pan Paka Pan or Kaoru spending time with Minori. Kaoru and Michiru's story was everything Kiriya's story wanted to be and more and this is definitely one of the strongest points of this show.

Our protagonists were probably the less worked during this arc, they sort of became an entity rather than two distinctive characters, but it somehow works? I think that because Saki ad Mai are such a great duo, they have so much chemistry, and the show seems to balance pretty well the spotlight they give to each girl, that deciding to focus more on these two as a duo rather than individually doesn't backfire. Their arc is more about solidifying their friendship more and more each time and spreading that out to Kaoru and Michiru, and they do a pretty good job at that. I feel like a lot of people don't have high opinions on them because of that, but I honestly didn't leave the show with the feeling that something was missing in regards to this matter so as far as I'm concerned they're great characters.

Before I wrap up I wanna talk about the ending in specific. It was the perfect pay off that this show needed. After everything Saki, Mai, Kaoru, and Michiru had gone through seeing they fight the big final boss together on an amazing showdown was incredibly awesome, when they lost their powers and the remaining of the spirits still living on Earth gathered together to bring not just Bloom and Egret but also Bright and Windy personified in Kaoru and Michiru felt rewarding as hell. It's pretty sad Kaoru and Michiru aren't considered official Cures because this final battle wouldn't have been the same without them.

If you read my Kamen Rider reviews you know I don't like it when characters come back from the dead immediately after they die. That wasn't the case here, in fact actually cried during that scene. We've said goodbye to them once and it hurt, seeing that they would go disappear again was like having my chest crushed, especially after everything that went down during this final arc and their speech in the fight about not giving up on the future they want to build with Saki and Mai. I knew precure is a kids show so they wouldn't kill them, but I expected they would go back to the Fountain of the Sky to live with Moop and Food there, but the show allowed the girls to stay with their friends in the Land of Greenery and that made me feel all fuzzy and warm inside.

And that montage at the end, with the four together, Kaoru joining Mai in the Art Club so she can learn how to draw so she can spend more time with Minori, Saki teaching Michiru how to bake, gosh, very few things made me as happy as that little montage did. Even seeing that Flappy finally confessed to Choppy and now they're officially a couple I believe was very endearing to see. And this is pretty much why I wanted the epilogue to be it's own separated episode because these are all things I'd love to watch as they were happening. It was still good, don't get me wrong, I have the dumbest smile in my face from just remembering it, but I wish we had more, GIVE ME AN OVA TOEI!!!!!

I'm not sure if I said everything I had to say, a lot of what I enjoyed from Splash Star was how the show touched me with emotional moments centered around characters I've grown to love throughout these 49 episodes and sadly my vocabulary isn't so vast so I can put out all these feelings here without sounding more repetitive than I already do. Splash Star is a really wonderful season, it had a slow start but as soon as they found their identity they really shined brightly, this season definitely shouldn't be so overlooked. So if you never watched it, give it a chance, and if you have watched it already, please do it again, appreciate the show for what it is and spread the love that this season and its characters deserve.

Three seasons of Precure down, thirteen more to go. Thank you so much for reading this far, please share the love for Splash Star in the comments. I'll see you soon for Yes! Pretty Cure 5!

P.S.: I was revising the post and I realized I didn't mention Kintolesky and Shitataare became a couple in the Christmas episode and it makes me really sad that these villains came back to being dust because I'd love to see this relationship. XD Again, GIVE ME AN OVA TOEI (and come up with a dumb excuse for why they're alive like humans and tell us how they've become regulars at Pan Paka Pan and how Kintolesky and Saki's father became the bestest friends ever).

[kenkamishiro]

Ishida’s Q&A comments from YJ compilation, Part 6

2014 is an interesting year since that’s when OG ended and :re began.

I said I’d finish this by the end of April, but clearly that’s not the case lol...I’ve given myself a personal deadline of May 10 which should give me enough time to finish it plus give enough time for people to send in their questions. I’ve also decided to make each part cover an entire year instead of half a year since I noticed I get more questions done that way.

For anyone who doesn’t know about the relevant Questions to Ishida contest, please read here. You can start from Part 1 here.

The recent set of zakki:re and interview translations take a lot of time and effort, so if you enjoyed it please reblog or leave a like. Thank you!

2014

No. 1

Just under a month left of this year! What do you want to do in this time you have left?

I want to go to the dentist.

Same here.

No. 2

What new feature do you want cell phones to be equipped with?

Shaking it to charge the battery.

It’d be great if I could charge the battery by just wishing for it.

No. 3

Only a few days remain of this year! What’s the best movie you’ve seen this year?

Life of Pi.

I was recommended it by a friend who loves movies. I enjoyed it.

No. 4-5

The final issue of this year!! What was the biggest news for you in 2013?

I got my wisdom teeth removed.

Got four of them pulled out.

No. 6-7

First issue sold in the new year! Please share with us your New Year’s resolutions!

Sleeping early and waking up early.

Good luck!

No. 8

What is the rarest item you own?

The handwritten recommendation I received from Togashi Yoshihiro-sensei.

I’ve got it on precious display even now.

No. 9

Already a month has passed since 2014 has begun! What is the tastiest food you’ve had this year so far?

The Chinese bok choy stir fry in my neighbourhood.

This year the grilled pork from this African restaurant has been the most delicious so far.

No. 10

What is your number 1 most unforgettable anime in your life?

Princess Mononoke.

This year it’s Devilman Crybaby and B: The Beginning.

No. 11

What is the most expensive purchase you’ve ever made?

An LCD tablet, I suppose.

The watch I bought for my editor to celebrate his promotion, probably.

No. 12

What place or object do you want to collect data for the most right now?

Tokyo.

Doesn’t matter so long as it interests me.

No. 13

Hinamatsuri is coming soon! What doll or figure do you want the most?

A half-naked figure of Darth Maul.

Yeah, I bought one. I also remember the one whose leg broke early on.

No. 14

What phrase do you often say without thinking?

When I’ve remember something I say, “Got it.”

When I can’t remember something I say, “Let’s seeee...”

No. 15

What game have you been the most addicted to so far?

Gunparade March.

Bloodborne, I guess.

No. 16

It’s that time of year when plants start budding! What’s your favourite plant?

Tropical pitcher plants.

I’ve never even thought about it.

No. 17

When you stop by a convenience store, what do you usually end up buying?

Drinkable yogurt.

Hot hojicha.

No. 18

Which drama have you gone completely nuts over the most?

Aibou.

Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad.

No. 19

It’s back to school season! What school meal did you enjoy the most when you were a kid?

Walnut buns.

This is when I was living in Koiwa in Tokyo, but I really liked the shortcake there that was called “Kamikoiwa Elementary School cake”. I wonder if they still have it.

No. 20

What’s your favourite four-character compound word that you’ve taken a liking to?

“Mumikansou” (dull and uninteresting).

I was just answering whatever for that. For me it would be “shirimetsuretsu” (incoherent).

No. 21-22

Vacation season is coming soon. What vehicle do you want to ride in the most?

A yacht.

I don’t think that at all.

No. 23

What is your favourite ingredient in sushi?

Engawa.

I do think that.

No. 24

This question may seem out of nowhere, but what do you think you were in your previous life?

A stray dog.

I answered whatever for that one.

No. 25

What materials have you found the most useful when making your current series?

Photos of Tokyo taken by my editor.

Myself, I think.

No. 26

If it was possible, what story would you want to enter the world of?

Star Wars or Hunter x Hunter.

I’d die.

No. 27

It’s time to change clothes for the season! What is your favourite costume or attire (that you can appreciate)?

I think cosplay is amazing.

The question and the answer don’t match up...but is this question trying to expose the authors’ fetishes or something?

No. 28

June 18 is Onigiri Day! What’s your favourite onigiri filling?

Hard-boiled egg.

It’s plum!

No. 29

Which works are you eagerly awaiting the sequel for?

I’m curious about how Star Wars Episode VII will turn out.

It turned out that way.

No. 30

The rainy season is in full blast...what do you eat when you want to feel refreshed?

Soumen.

Probably soba, though soumen is fine too.

No. 31

Which manga character do you want to be friends with?

Tsukiyama.

I can tell you like Tsukiyama.

No. 32

What foods do you eat at night without thinking?

Recently it’s been tofu.

Recently it’s been celery.

No. 33

What’s your favourite attraction at an amusement park?

I’m scared of roller coasters.

The food court I guess.

No. 34

What’s the name of a character who you feel has good fashion sense?

Ei Bi from Kingdom.

It’s because his helmet looks like a shrimp.

No. 35

If you became an entertainer/celebrity for a day who would you want to be?

Shitara from Bananaman.

“That’s right”, huh.

[T/N: Probably one of Shitara’s punchlines during the Bananaman skits.]

No. 36-37

Summer II 24 hour television! What’s something that you can keep doing for 24 hours?

Working on manga.

Hahaha.

No. 38

It’s summer vacation season! What independent research project do you want to do now?

Study anatomy.

Are you feeling ill or something?

No. 39

What’s a mascot character that you like?

Darth Maul.

Kumamon of course!

No. 40

Which foreigners are you paying attention to now?

Orlando Bloom.

The character Jane from The Mentalist.

No. 41

What’s your mobile ringtone that you’ve set up or want to set up?

A rotary dial.

Anything is fine.

No. 42

What quote or proverb do you want to try saying once?

I have the higher ground!

Human life lasts only 50 years, Contrast human life with life of Geten, It is but a very dream and illusion.

[T/N: First quote is from Star Wars Episode III said by Obi-Wan Kenobi. Second quote is said by Oda Nobunaga.]

No. 43

If there was a showdown where you thought, “This is a great match!”, what would it be?

[On break.]

Naruto vs. Sasuke in the valley.

No. 44

Yearly present! If you could accept something what would you want?

[On break.]

Tasty nuts.

No. 45

Autumn is decorated with the colours of black tea! What picturesque scenery/secluded area do you want to visit once?

[On break.]

I think this break period was when I was drawing :re...

No. 46

If you could visit the house of a celebrity once, whose house would you visit?

Gackt-san’s.

Celine Dion’s house.

No. 47

When you see the phrase “last boss”, who comes to mind?

Ultimecia from Final Fantasy 8.

Pepsiman from Final Fantasy 9 is also hard to discount.

[T/N: He means Necron, but JP’s nickname for him is Pepsiman because...he looks a lot like Pepsiman.]

No. 48

Any fantasy creatures you want to be real?

Vampires.

Gods.

No. 49

If you could get your hands on a 3-D printer what’s the first thing that you’d want to make?

A bone sample.

I wouldn’t make it because it sounds like too much of a hassle.

No. 50

Any works that had an amazing ending?

Hoshikuzu Nina.

Amen to that.

No. 51

It’s chilly, any drinks you want because of this weather?

Water.

Hojicha!

No. 52

What group or team do you want to join?

supercell.

The Marvel heroes.

previous || next

[wurwurz]

I was tagged by @adaline-hiero, thank you sweetie.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My mother.

2. Are you outgoing or shy? I used to be very shy at school and university era, even as a young adult. I wouldn't say I'm outgoing now. But not shy anymore. Right in the middle.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My mother and my brother because they are all the family I have left. My dog because he's my baby.

4. Are you easy to get along with? Yes

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I've never ever been drunk in my life. No interest.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? The ones who could not be attracted to me. The Hiddleston and Cumberbatch kind (funny, smart, artist, educated, gentleman, caring, giving, handsome but doesn't act like he God knows it, heartful, sensitive...)

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Nah.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? My dash shows me a lot of Brie Larson content these days (due to Marvel) and I envy her silhouette, mainly her boobs.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Online ? Nah. Face to face, depends.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My dog. "How not to pee in the kitchen when mom is in the bedroom".

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Damned Quasimodo !” to my brother (Notre Dame de Paris burning).

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? I don't listen to the radio, so I barely listen to "new" songs.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Kids, no. Lover, yes.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? As much as I believe in Nessy.

15. What good thing happened this summer? I went to the Provence.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? No.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? That's not even a question. Just logic. Yes there is life on other planets and I hope it is nothing like humans.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No.

19. Do you like bubble baths? I prefer showers.

20. Do you like your neighbors? Two look like serial killers, one is 110 years old, one obviously doesn't know what a shower is for, two other kill my nose sensitivity everytime they open their door, one loves to play music until 4 in the morning. Noooope.

21. What are you bad habits? I try to do 10 things at once. Worse is that I do succeed.

22. Where would you like to travel? London.

23. Do you have trust issues? If I understand the question right, ooooh yes.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going back home in the evening.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My thumbs because I've got brachydactyly.

26. What do you do when you wake up? I rub my eyes and I complain about me not sleeping enough.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? My skin is as white as Olaf and I love it. It never gets tanned, it's fascinating. I turn red and then all white again.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? My mum.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No.

30. Do you ever want to get married? Not really.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Tom and Benedict and meeeee.

33. Spell your name with your chin. I have no dea what that one means.

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Yes, shopping and I've very good at it.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Depends. Sometimes I listen to music for hours everyday and sometimes I don't listen to a single tune. Same for TV.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? I laugh.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? The answer will sound so teenish. The two actors I feel for.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Decoration stores.

40. What do you want to do after high school? I am 43, honey.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Some yes, others neva eva.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I've just woken up.

43. Do you smile at strangers? If they walk their dog, yes. Though I first smile at the dog.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Asgard.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? An invisible force stronger than me.

46. What are you paranoid about? Losing the 2 only members of my family.

47. Have you ever been high? No and not willing to be.

48. Have you ever been drunk? No, police officer.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I was made for acting bad. ^^

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? I don't wear hoodies.

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes. Currently wishing I was Bobby Hiddleston. But I wouldn't enjoy being that furry for long.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? More confident.

53. Favourite makeup brand? Revolution Beauty for cheap brand. Make Up For Ever.

54. Favourite store? Make up ? Sephora

55. Favourite blog? Some I love equaly, so no name.

56. Favourite colour? Green.

57. Favourite food? Pizza.

58. Last thing you ate? Foret noire (Bonte Divina).

59. First thing you ate this morning? Nesquik + Princes Lu.

60. Ever won a competition? Yes, if work competition are included. My boss didn't know if he should keep me or the other girl (I knew he preferd the other girl because of her short skirts), so he gave us tests. I won. Hehehe.

61. Been suspended/expelled? No comprendo.

62. Been arrested? For what? No.

63. Ever been in love? Yes.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? No, I won't.

65. Are you hungry right now? A bit. But on a diet for one day so I'm not gonna ruin it already !

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I hate them all !!! lol

67. Facebook or Twitter? Sick of Facebook. Too unpretty for my standards and too full of boring stuff. Twitter.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr !

69. Are you watching tv right now? Yes.

70. Names of your bestfriends? Tic and Tac.

71. Craving something? What? Another one I don't get. What is to crave ?

72. What colour are your towels? Taupe (light brown).

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? One ergonomic.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No but I wished that my real living animal would like to sleep with me, but he doesn't. Chihuahuas...

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Me, none. My dog has over 20.

75. Favourite animal? Except dogs, gorillas.

76. What colour is your underwear? White.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Pistachio / Mint.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Depends.

80. What colour pants? Depends.

81. Favourite tv show? Sherlock.

82. Favourite movie? Bram Stoker's Dracula.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Since I don't know what it is, I guess... none !

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? I used to watch 21 Jump Street when I was a teenie with Depp that I already didn't like... Overrated actor.

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Stop asking.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? The mean shark. Kidding. Dory.

87. First person you talked to today? My dog asking him if he had slept well. He never answered.

88. Last person you talked to today? My dog wishing him a good night. He never replied.

89. Name a person you hate? My grandmother. Wishing her the worst on earth (loooooong story).

90. Name a person you love? My mother + my own Myscroft.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? My grandmother now that you brought that back.

92. In a fight with someone? No.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? None. That's a fashion no for anybody.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? No hoodie. Sweaters a bunch.

95. Last movie you watched? Crappy movies on Netflix and I have no idea how they were called...

96. Favourite actress? Sigourney Weaver.

97. Favourite actor? Benedict Cumberbatch because he blew me away too many times. Tom Hiddleston is a great contender.

98. Do you tan a lot? Not at all. But I do get red.

99. Have any pets? One chihuahua, Cookie, 9 years old. Had another chihuahua named Bobby who passed away last year. He was 11.

100. How are you feeling? Ok? I'm at home watching Notre Dame burning. I'm sad.

101. Do you type fast? Kind of.

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Sadly yes.

103. Can you spell well? Yes.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? My father. He passed away in 2015.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? No idea what it is.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Happened.

107. Have you ever been on a horse? My friend told me it was a horse and confessed it was just a big poney afterwards.

108. What should you be doing? Giffing !

109. Is something irritating you right now? I'm biting a nail and I've just ruined it.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes.

111. Do you have trust issues? You've already asked that one, parrot.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mother.

113. What was your childhood nickname? "Nini la sauce".

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? I went to Germany to meet an actor I don't care about now. I met online buddies, visited Germany. Was great.

115. Do you play the Wii? PLAYSTATION !!!

116. Are you listening to music right now? Nope.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? No.

118. Do you like Chinese food? No.

119. Favourite book? The vampire Lestat, Anne Rice.

120. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Love it.

121. Are you mean? Hehehe, yesssss.

122. Is cheating ever okay? No. Never.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? No, not with a doggie.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes.

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes.

126. Are you currently bored? A bit, that thing is too long.

127. What makes you happy? When my bank doesn't call to complain about my empty account.

128. Would you change your name? Noooo. Marilyn is a beautiful name. Merci, maman.

129. What your zodiac sign? Aquarius.

130. Do you like subway? Never used subway.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? God that silly thing happened. That was embarrassing. He was just a friend, not someone I ever felt for. That has ruined our friendship, he was kind of married.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Not kidding, you have already asked the same question, right ?

133. Favourite lyrics right now? “shoo-be-doo-be-doo" by Madonna. Yeah, that's deep.

134. Can you count to one million? Happy to know I have always had better things to do.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? "I hadn't noticed that Cookie had vomited right there, mom, promise". For the record, she cleaned. *g*

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed door ! I live in the french Bronx !

137. How tall are you? 162 cm. Something like... 28 cm shorter than Tom Hiddleston.

138. Curly or Straight hair? Wavy.

139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette with one or two white hair already.

140. Summer or Winter? Summer. I hate, like really really hate winter.

141. Night or Day? Night.

142. Favourite month? July.

143. Are you a vegetarian? I'm weirdian. I don't like meat, I don't like vegetables. I am a pain in the ass when you ask me to come diner.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk chocolate.

145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee. Benedict can keep all the tea.

146. Was today a good day? Until my country lost one of its most iconic monument, yes.

147. Mars or Snickers? Mars.

148. What’s your favourite quote? “If it bleeds, we can kill it”. ^^

149. Do you believe in ghosts? No but Zach Bagans would make me say yes.

150. Do you tag anyone else to do this? I always fear I bore my mutuals with these, so nope.

[thelyonsempire]

Once a Single Mom with a Dream, Taraji P. Henson is Now a Hollywood Headliner

Want to know what it feels like for a woman to be a commanding presence in a man’s world? Just ask Taraji P. Henson, who might be the greatest motivational speaker we ladies have at the moment. 

“I feel like a boss bitch,” she says, flashing her megawatt grin. “I’m grabbing my nuts, like, ‘Yeah!’ ”

Could we consider this an apt metaphor for the current push-pull of power dynamics? Perhaps. As Henson knows, there’s no time to mince words anymore. From the #MeToo movement to the midterm elections, we’ve seen what happens when women stake their claim. Henson, a single mother from Washington, D.C., who has worked in the industry for over 20 years, is among those finally getting their due — and she’s not afraid to say it.

Her latest film, What Men Want, explicitly explores these themes. Out in February, it flips the script from the Nancy Meyers-directed What Women Want (2000), which starred Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt. Henson plays Ali Davis, a cocky (for lack of a better term) sports agent. After getting passed over for a big promotion, she visits a psychic (the singer Erykah Badu) who provides her with a special tea that allows her to hear men’s thoughts.

Henson stars and also serves as an executive producer. It’s the first time the 48-year-old actress — who has nailed every dramatic role that has come her way — is getting a chance to flex her musical-theater-trained muscles as the lead in a full-fledged comedy. And Henson is clearly in her element, engaging in the kind of “I’ll do anything for laughs” physical antics emblematic of her heroes Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball.

“I’ve always been the funny girl,” Henson says emphatically. “Not that I was pigeonholed. They were all great dramatic roles, but I’ve been dying. I just felt so honored and grateful to get a comedy where I could let it all hang out. My best friend was like, ‘Lord, they don’t know what they have unleashed.’ ”  

“Taraji is old-school funny,” says someone who would know, her What Men Want co-star Tracy Morgan. “She is willing to take a pie to the face or stuff a bunch of candy in her mouth to get a laugh. She cuts the monster but doesn’t cut too deep because she knows we need the monster comedy.”

This past November Henson also voiced the animated character Yesss (which Henson pronounces as “Yesssssss” in her sweet drawl) in Ralph Breaks the Internet, Disney’s big-budget sequel to Wreck-It Ralph, which grossed over $400 million worldwide. It was another chance for her to show off her comedic chops, but this time for the kids. And after years of struggling to make it in Hollywood, she’s acutely aware of how doing a family film can help her bank account.

“You know, that’s [audiences buying] four tickets instead of two,” Henson says. “That’s generally going to be the largest-grossing film in anyone’s repertoire.”

To attend InStyle’s shoot, she took a 24-hour break from the Chicago set of Empire and her most significant character to date, the cutting and campy Cookie Lyon. Henson admits that the silver-tongued ex-con and matriarch of the Lyon family was the one who really put her on the Hollywood map. Despite all her successes — in the Oscar-nominated films Hidden Figures and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button — Henson has never had a movie studio bring her overseas to do press. But Cookie has.

“Hollywood executives would tell me that I don’t have fans all the way over there,” Henson says, shaking her head. “I said, ‘You’re lying because they can reach me any time. I’m a finger tap away, and they let me know every day.’ ” And while the international box office plays a big role in getting lead parts in feature films, it was Cookie who let Henson know she was appreciated. “Then we go to Paris [to promote Empire], and it’s standing room only in a room with 1,500 seats. I cried. If you believe what people tell you … you can’t let people tell you shit.”

Henson’s strong sense of self comes from her parents. She was an only child until she was 17 (her half sister, April, now works as her “a-sister-ant”). Her father, Boris, was a Vietnam War vet who battled PTSD and alcoholism throughout her childhood. Despite his mood swings, Henson says, he instilled in her a no-fear attitude that has stuck with her to this day. From her mother, Bernice, she inherited her endless drive and passion.

“I was like the Punky Brewster of the hood,” Henson says with a laugh. “I was a well-rounded kid, but I could also scrap if necessary. But I wasn’t that hard. I still had Strawberry Shortcake wallpaper in my room, and my friend Tracie and I were doing Shakespeare in the Park … and we were in the f—ing hood.”

Though it was clear from an early age that Henson was a natural-born performer, she spent her nascent college years attempting to follow in her father’s footsteps by studying engineering at North Carolina A&T State University. With her colorful outfits and spirited attitude, she earned the on-campus nickname Hollywood, yet it still took failing math classes for her to realize the sciences were not where she belonged. When she called Boris to tell him, he was not surprised.

“Good,” he said. “Get your ass back up to D.C. and enroll in Howard’s drama department. Do what you’re supposed to be doing.”

While attending Howard University, Henson became pregnant with her son, Marcell. After graduation the single mom and her baby boy moved to Los Angeles with $700 borrowed from family and friends so she could pursue her dreams. Between casting calls, there were stints as a substitute teacher for kids with special needs. Eventually she landed an agent, and guest spots on network television shows soon followed. But it was her roles in films such as Baby Boy and Hustle & Flow that really made Hollywood take notice.

Now that she’s got the mic, Henson is putting it to good use, choosing impactful projects like this spring’s The Best of Enemies, about civil-rights activist Ann Atwater and her unlikely friendship with C.P. Ellis (portrayed by Sam Rockwell), a former member of the Ku Klux Klan. She is also starring in and producing a movie about Emmett Till, the teenager who was lynched for allegedly whistling at a white woman in Mississippi in 1955.

“I don’t care if you’re young or old or what color you are, art is so powerful,” she says on the topic of representation. “You can show things to people you’ve never met and you broaden horizons. I don’t take for granted what I have, and I try to use it in any way I can, positively.”

The fact that Hollywood continues to preach about the importance of diversity but then casts predominately white males in lead roles is not lost on the actress. “Here’s the deal: When you talk about money, don’t you want to make money? I want every walk of life [in my films]. If I could put an alien in, I would. I want their money too. Come on, it’s what the world looks like. That’s what people want to see, representation. That’s all. You can make money doing it. It’s a no-brainer.”

She also recently established the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation (named after her beloved father), which encourages African-Americans with mental-health issues to seek the help they need. “It was born out of necessity,” she says. “You know, traumatic stuff happened to me and my son. [Her ex-boyfriend, Marcell’s father, was murdered in 2003.] You can’t just pray it away. I don’t care how strong you are. It gets to you, and if you don’t deal with it, it manifests itself in ways you don’t even know.

“My white friends have standing appointments with their therapists,” Henson continues. “I was like, ‘Why aren’t we doing that?’ In our culture, it’s taboo.” The first people to sign on? Her male friends from the industry, all of whom wrote checks on the spot. “The black men stepped up. Snoop Dogg, Xzibit, Tracy Morgan, Chance the Rapper all stepped up. I called, they answered. Snoop told me, ‘Baby girl, that’s important. What you’re doing is important.’ Tyrese said, ‘You’re making it cool to seek help.’ ”  

Another supportive figure is her fiancé, former NFL cornerback (and Super Bowl XLI winner) Kelvin Hayden. The two were quietly dating for three years before Hayden proposed last Mother’s Day. They are planning to wed this summer in a private, low-key affair, and though her designer friends are offering to make her a dress, Henson is opting for the most efficient route.

“I’m not going to go through 10,000 dresses,” she says. “How does it fit? How do I feel? Does it complement me well? Let’s just go with this one. I know what looks good on me. I’m not going to spend 10 hours on a fitting. I hate that.”

The wedding itself will probably take place in July, once Henson figures out if Empire is going to be picked up for a sixth season. Fortunately, it is filmed in Chicago, where she and Hayden reside with Marcell — now 24 and an aspiring rapper and music producer — and their miniature French bulldog, K-Ball, which was Hayden’s nickname when he played in the NFL.

Their life is a healthy one. Hayden runs his own gym, and she’s always cooking new vegan treats for her tribe. She made the jump to veganism after suffering massive stomach pains while filming The Best of Enemies this past summer. “It took a doctor in Macon, Ga., to say, ‘If you don’t change what you’re doing, you’re going to get stomach cancer.’ I said, ‘Say no more.’ So I switched everything up out of necessity. I want to live. Thank God, because I feel so much better.”

Now that she’s in love, at the top of her game, and clearly adored by the world at large, Henson is ready to expand her repertoire even further. “The older I get, I want to work smarter, not harder,” she says. She’ll answer that superhero hotline if it rings — “DC, Marvel, you all can call me!” — but for now she’s content being the funny girl.

“I want to show you this,” she says, grabbing her phone to play a video that was sent to her by What Men Want director Adam Shankman. It’s footage from an early screening, and the audience is roaring with laughter.

Henson admits to having goose bumps as she cradles the device like a proud mama: “Listen to them cackling!”

[kapanbenernya]

Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide 2 -- Extreme Rat Extermination Service

So not long ago, my friend told me about another game on steam that he wanted me to check out. The game in question was Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide 2. He said it’s some kind of four player co-op game like Left 4 Dead 2. Actually he needn’t explain the game to me because I actually owned Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide, the game that came before this one. I remembered buying it years ago and unable to actually play it until years later because my PC and my internet could not support the game. Actually now that I think about it, I still never get to really play it because nobody is still interested in the game. You know what? Let’s forget everything I said about it and refocus on Vermin 2.

Yeah, I’m just gonna call it Vermin 2, the full game’s name is too fucking long

In Vermin 2, you are some guy/elf/dwarf living in some Victorian Era London type of world fighting giant rats and buff white dudes. This very basic and very unrepresentative description of the world and the lore of the game might just net me an invitation to the chopping block by the Warhammer fanboys, but I don’t care. Look, it’s a Warhammer lore okay, so cheat-sheet's probably there’s a god or some gods with their respective cults and war happens, hopefully involving hammers. Here’s what I can gather from the prologue: a rat guy and some lovechild between a viking and an orc wants to open a portal to somewhere not good, and our heroes must stop them. 

Warriors from the northern region with horned helmets? Wonder where the inspiration came from

Our heroes are a ragtag band of five people which includes a soldier with kickass facial hair, a religious nutter, a fire witch, a scottish elf-woman, and discount Gimli. The gang was formed in the events of the first game which I have absolutely no idea how it happened because I didn’t play it, and I have no intention of checking the lore. I mean have you SEEN the lore? If you can be bothered to check, it’s actually rich and ornate, with multiple race and languages. That’s why I will never touch it without a 10-foot barge pole; I still aspire to have a decent sex life someday. 

But I’m getting sidetracked, so here’s how the number of heroes will affect the gameplay

The hero you choose will define your play-style. Or to be more exact, the play-style you prefer will mostly dictate which hero you will find enjoyable. You wanna be a quick whoosh whoosh DPS? Go for the elf. You wanna be a stone-wall tank? Go check out the shield-bearing duo: the soldier and the dwarf. You wanna be kinda useful and kinda useless at the same time? Go for the character that looks like he’s from Bloodborne. Interested in being the prick that fills everyone’s screen with bullshit? The fire witch’s your lady, matey. But that’s not all the depth that comes from choosing a hero. You got 3 class for each hero, each offers different passive buffs and hero skill. Don’t think you can try them all instantly though, the game’s gonna make you work for it. You will have to unlock the classes by leveling up with the first class already unlocked from the get-go. 

I mean if they didn’t do that, I’d be able to make a joke about being in a classless society etc etc.

After you’ve chosen how highly you are ranked above the local commoner, in comes the weapons. Your main bread and butter is the melee weapon. Of course there’s the good old stereotype on the weapon variety: fast but weak, strong but slow, and medium but medium. The only ones that are a bit different than the rest are the weapons that’s paired with shields, which allows you to block more incoming attacks from enemies before getting your guard broken. Okay, let’s see the variety of shield weapons available: fast but weak, strong but-oh bother, it’s just the fucking same. Mind you, these weapons are not shared among heroes, for each weapon are exclusive to one hero and one hero only. So don’t think you can cheat the game by giving the whoosh whoosh elf a goddamn mace and shield. 

But as the old adage goes: “man cannot survive on bread, rats, and buff dudes alone”, so here comes some tasty peanut butter spread to save us from blandness in the form of ranged weapons. As with the melee weapons there are also varieties of different types of ranged weapon for each hero and class, and also like melee weapons, exclusive to each hero. Now, don’t expect to me explain the uniqueness of each weapon type and/or combinations, because that shit’s up to you to try and decide which one’s up your alley. 

With those weapons explained, care for a little test drive on rats and buff dudes?

Believe me when I say there are a lot of enemy variations in this game. First off, there’s two factions of enemies going hand in hand to knock the living shit out of your party: the Skaven and the Chaos Army. Although for simplicity matters, I preferred calling them rats and buff dudes respectively, simply because that’s what they are. To start, you’ve got the mob enemies. They’re weak, plentiful, bland, and makes up for 90% of the enemy. And then there’s the elite enemies. They are enemies that have different behavior and approach towards your party. There are ones that disables a player, the ones that punishes loners and drags them away from the party, area denial, the big tanky mini-boss, and so on. These elite enemies are unique in design and therefore can be easily distinguished from the mob by audio cues and vision, especially after the in-game characters shouted callouts before the enemy can even be seen anywhere in this plane of existence. But the one thing I find curious is that design-wise and gameplay-wise, I find that the elite rat enemies are more interesting than the elite buff dudes. I mean you got the sneaky rat and the hooker rat that makes you stick together, the gas rat and fire rat that pushes you away from a beloved choke point, and gatling rat that’s 100% bullshit. But the elite buff dudes are just variations of even buffer dudes that charge in blindly with the mob with roughly the same results or fat dudes with magic hurricanes that’s just here to fuck your shit up, fam.

I gotta admit, still hilarious when it happens to everyone except you

Well, what else can I say about the game?

It’s your standard co-op four player PvE combat goddammit, what else do you wanna know? You grab your friends, choose your weapons, pick a map, and slay some rats. Simple, true and tried ever since the old age of beat em’ up games to the crowned exemplar of the 4 player co-op FPS genre: the Left 4 Dead series. But as of writing the previous sentence, why do I suddenly think that If I was given a choice to play Left 4 Dead or Vermin 2, I'd prefer Left 4 Dead? I mean they were basically the same: traverse map towards the objective, enemy mobs spawning at the worst possible timing, and stupid stupid teammates that just gotta fuck shit up right before the level exit.  After taking my time to reflect on both games, I think I kinda know why. I think it’s because some of Vermin 2′s elements is pretty fucking shit.

You see, the enjoyment of the game doesn’t stem from the gameplay alone.It’s also affected by the amount of bullshit you gotta go through to actually experience the gameplay. And with vermin 2, the bullshit comes from having to struggle with the bad netcode. My playtime was 23 hours, and I’m quite sure the amount of time I spent waiting for my friend to be able to connect to my lobby is about a third of that. No joke, you know the worst record? 30 minutes. And even after the four of us can connect, it’s everybody’s guess whether or not we’re still gonna be a four man party after the level or someone’s gonna get dropped from the lobby for no particular reason. And what happens when someone or everyone got dropped? That’s right! Restart the fucking lobby! 

And by restart the fucking lobby, I mean more gambling whether or not the fucking thing’s gonna connect again.

Another lesser complaint I got is the weapon power system. Unlike L4D which just plops you the same weapon on every campaign, in Vermin 2 you gotta find your own weapons via lootbox that you get by completing campaigns or challenges. Thing is, the weapon power you can get from the lootbox is capped based on the difficulty that you play. So get this, you start out with bad default weapons which will result in you getting beaten to mulch which motivates you to get better and better weapons until you hit the cap. What’s next? You have to move on to the harder difficulty with your capped weapons, which will result in you getting mulched again. So there you go, trapped in a cycle of mulch-ification towards better weapons. The small number of maps available didn’t help either. Only 13 maps in total, compared to 12 maps in L4D and L4D2.

13 is less than 12? This guy’s off his rockers

Yeah, yeah, dodgy mathematics aside, do remember that every map from L4D is divided into 4/5 segments each. That adds up into around 48/60 maps total, and I needn’t elaborate further to show you that 48 is bigger than 13. That’s not taking into account the numbers of custom maps readily available. Yeah, who’s the brainlet now, bozo? And I swear, the quick play is deliberately messing with my party. Somehow we always end up on the map where we gotta pop some pimples in a cave. If not that, the one where we gotta connect the lines on some temple. I swear to God, small map pool or not, this is ridiculous. It’s like this map tosses off the map RNG every once in a while so it gets chosen.

Now, if you’re a smarter person, you’d have followed the dotted lines all by yourself and successfully deducted the 20 car pile-up all these problems caused. But since unlike me and my big smarty brain, you didn’t know that 13 is less than 12, I fucking doubt it. Here let me explain to you and your slowy slowy boo boo brain.

visual pun, ladies and gentlemen

That’s right, 13 maps, 4 difficulty, and there you go on the mulch-ification cycle.  Hope you don’t get bored of running the same levels again and again before reaching the higher difficulty. I know I sure did.

In Brief

After all the spanking I gave the game in the last paragraphs, it’s still fun, and it’s still a good alternative for L4D. Especially more so if you like L4D, but you’d like it more if it was melee-focused, class-based, grindy, and all-around dodgier. It’s kind of a shame really, because I can see that this game had potential to be better, but in the end it just got tossed aside with the remark “like L4D, but made by somewhat incompetent spods”. All because while the core gameplay is very much fun and functional, the elements that support it ends up being a hindrance, not unlike a brake on a car that could go off randomly. This game kinda proves that you can make a gold bar shaped like the world’s sexiest pair of titties, but bury it in deep enough bullshit and people are going to stop giving a shit, mainly because you already had shit deep enough to fertilize the Sahara desert.

P.S.

I am very much aware that the connection problem might stem from me and my friends’ own internet connection, but I did rule it out because L4D works like magic in comparison, and this proves that SOMETHING had to be wrong with the game to cause all the connectivity problems.

27/8/2018

[hazftcor]

Hazftcor’s Prompt list

Hey guys! My prompts are finally out!! IF YOU USE THIS LIST PLEASE GIVE CREDS!!!!

Requests are Closed ATM!!! Send in prompt(s) with character’s FULL NAME. It is recommended that you add a little description but not mandatory.

I’m a procrastinator to the max so it will take long for a request to be posted I’M VERY SORRY BUT PLS BE PATIENT!!!

1. “Who do you think you are?” “your boyfriend”

2. “Are you kidding me?” “what?” “are you that stupid?”

3. “kiss me” “right now? In front of everyone?” “yes”

4. “I love your face.” “i love you”

5. “I can’t even believe I fell for you.” “well you should unfall for me then"

6. “I hate you for making me feel like this.” “I don’t understand.”

7. “Can you give me a ride?”

8. “I don’t want to be jealous anymore.”

9. “Did you just slap my ass?” “why, yes, yes I did.”

10. “maybe you were right” “told ya” “shut up”

11. “Ever since you came back, my life has been nothing but hell.” "Well I did come from there."

12. “you're gonna get me into trouble.” “don’t worry, I got you”

13. “Why are you following me?” “you told me to follow my heart, so i’m following it.”

14. “How can I listen to my heart when you have it?”

15. “Can you stop? I just want everything to stop.”

16. “Maybe I’m in love with you” “you’re what?”

17. “You’re not the boss of me.”

18. “This is all your fault.” “you started it”

19. “I’m jealous of you with him/her” “my plan worked then.”

20. “I want to know why” “why what?” “why, everything?”

21. “oh my god.” “what? what’s wrong?” 

22. “god, I can't even look at you.” “You’re gonna have to look at me sometime today.”

23. “I’m such a fool.” “yes, a fool for me.”

24. “You saved my life.” “now i’m your hero.” “don’t push it”

25. “Please don’t go, you have to understand, I'm just playing the part they want me to play. All of this, it’s just what they expect.”

26. “Is there anything in your life that’s actually real?” “how I feel about you is real. I know I feel real when I’m with you.” “I’m sorry but I don’t believe you.”

27. “I don’t care who you are, you always have a choice. And you don’t need it. You love it.”

28. “You crave all the power and attention, and you go after it. Even if it means creating huge lies.”

29. “Why do you think you don’t have to play by the same rules as everyone else?” “because I don’t” “must be nice.”

30. “Wait, are you jealous?” “I’m sorry, I’m not jealous.” “It would be okay if you were.”

31. “Would you believe that I just wanted to be with you?”

32. “You like him, don’t you?” “Yea, I like him.”

33. “You’re kind of raining on my grand romantic gesture here.”

34. “it was all part of a game, wasn’t it?” “Not all of it.”

35. “I think people from two different worlds sometimes have to just meet in the middle.” 

36. “go get me some food.” “Rude, am I your maid?” 

37. “You’re so god damn beautiful.” “Thanks, I know.”

38. “Are you from starbucks? Because I like you a latte.” “I don’t even know why I talk to you.”

39. “Did you know I’m a firefighter? I find them hot and leave them wet.” 

40. Person A: “I’m not dying for you.” Person B: “I’m not dying for you either.” Person C: “LIES. ALL LIES. Why are you guys always lying?”

41. “Why do you keep trying to save me?” “Because I never ever want to see you die. Because I love you.”

42. “I thought you hate me.” “Whatever you have done in the past doesn’t mean you should suffer so bad like this.”

43. “I’m gonna fight with you, and for you.” 

44. “but I love you!” “we’re just kids, we don’t know anything about love.”

45. “tell me what I did wrong. tell me why you left and I’ll stop. I’ll stop bothering you.”

46. “You’re afraid of me.” “n-no i’m not.”

47. “can you blame me?” “Yeah maybe.”

48. “because if this is my world now, the first person I want in it is you.”

49. “sometimes the people who look happy and smile a lot are the most broken ones.”

50. “what should I be for halloween?” “my boyfriend/girlfriend.” “you’re right, that is scary.”

51. “You scared me! I thought you were gone!” “Yeah, like I’ll ever leave you behind.”

52. “If you do this, I will never speak to you again.”

53. “You don’t deserve this. Not any of this.”

54. “I’ll do anything. Please just believe me.”

55. “I don’t care about myself. I care about you.” 

56. “Listen to me, you’ll fall in love more than once."

57. “What is that?” “What?” “The thing.. that feeling.” “It’s called hope.”

58. Person C: “What kind of person does that?” Person B: “Obviously someone like him/her.” Person A: “I can hear you, you know.”

59. “Even if the worst is beating you down, find away to get back to your feet. Even if they keep coming, keep fighting. And know that I will always be there right beside you.”

60.  Person C: “Hey guys! Guess wh- why are you guys naked?” Person B: “The two of us, in bed, naked, it’s pretty obvious.” Person A: “Oh my god.”

61. “Am I speaking to the right person?” 

62. “I known you for so many years, and I’ve never seen you like this. This isn’t you.” “It is the me I am now.”

63. “You can’t just say I love you and then run away like that!”

64. “Just stay with me, please.”

65. “You’re not just my best friend, you’re my brother.” “You missed lover.”

66. “Everyone sees the way he/she looks at you!” “I’m sorry that i’m blind.”

67. “He/she was flirting with me?” “Yeah...” “It’s too bad, I ignored all of them because I only allow one special girl/guy to flirt with me, and that’s you.”

68. “You are the reason why I am who I am.” “I’m why you killed so many people?”

69. “Wanna have sex?” “Gross, but okay.”

70. “you took me for granted.”

71. “kiss me.” “What did you say?” “I said I miss him too, get your ears checked.”

72. “I want to make out - I mean buy you take out.” “Oh I wanted to make out with you too, but take out is fine.”

73. “Take the gun and shoot me.” “I can’t do that.”

74. “Monsters are people who kill. Do I kill?” “He does.” “Monsters don’t change for the better.”

75. “Hey. What’s the problem?” “You’re the problem!”

76. “That feeling you’re feeling isn’t love.”

77. “You don’t love me, you CAN’T love me.”

78. “Every time you say something stupid, I just want to slap you a thousand times”

79. “He’s not coming back.” “He will.”

80. “Don’t hurt her/him! Take me instead!” “What are you doing? Stop! Don’t take him/her, take me!”

81.”can you stop?” “What am I doing?” “You know what you’re doing.”

82. “fuck me.” ”gladly”

83. “I can’t believe you have a boner, we didn’t even do anything!”

84. “You are such a child, seriously, it’s like i’m dating a three year old.”

85. “Because I loved him.”

86. “I hate you so much right now.” “ Well, the feeling’s mutual.”

87. “I’m not ready to love.” “You are, you’re just afraid.”

88. “What are you doing?” “Being a gentleman.”

89. “Who are you and what have you done to (*insert character name*)?”

90. “Everyone’s okay.” “You’re not.”

91. “I’m done with your shit.”

92. “Sometimes you just have to believe.”

93. “Shoot Me!!!” “I-I can’t. I can’t kill you.”

94. “Is it weird that every time I saw you, I wanted to throw you off a cliff?”

95. “I think you’ve made a mistake.” 

96. “You’re just a stupid mistake I made!” “You think our relationship is a mistake?”

97. “You think you’re so cute... with your smile and your eyes and your hair and your body and your face... okay you are somewhat cute.”

98. “A few months ago, I would’ve never thought I would fall in love with an asshole like him.”

99. “I can’t deal with you anymore!” “You never even wanted to deal with me.”

100. “God, you’re so annoying.” “But you love me.”

original: 100 prompts on November 1st 2017

[new2otomelol]

Try to make me go to rehab...

Well, hopefully somebody some day will read this.  If you do, feel free to leave comments.  Voltage, Inc. owns the rights to Kissed by the Baddest Bidder characters.  I created MC for this story: Liz.

A fun pregnancy announcement one, this time Eisuke.

LIZ’s POV Eisuke and I have been together for about a year now and we’ve been engaged for a few months.  My life with him sure has been a “helter skelter” of a ride.  At the moment we’re finishing celebrating the new Tres Spades Cruise ship.  We’ve been through a lot, but I’ve been learning from Eisuke and helping out.  The past four months have been especially crazy as the guys have begun to move on organizing the black-market auctions so that they can be held overseas.  I’ve been so busy with hotel work and assisting them that once I get home to the penthouse, I just fall asleep anywhere, on the couch, sitting on the table, you get the gist.  Eisuke has been great by carrying me to the bedroom each time, but he keeps paging me every time he can because he feels like he needs more time with me while I work, which in the end results with me having more work to do so that I don’t lag behind.

Today I woke more tired than usual.  I had started taking in more vitamin supplements to help me have energy, however, I still feel like I’m dragging myself.  One more guest room to go and Sakiko is helping me out.  “I’ll get the bed if you can clean the restroom?”  I ask her and she quickly nods in agreement “yay, almost time to be done with this day!” I hear Sakiko chirp happily.  I turn around to grab one of the corners of the bed to tug in the sheets when the world before me starts to get fuzzy and then everything fades to black.  Next thing I know, I wake up and Sakiko is hovering over me: “Liz, Liz, wakeup hun!  What do I do? Do you need a doctor? Liz!!!  Good, you’re finally awake!  I think you need a doctor, I’ll call one!”  

I open my eyes widely and tell her “no, no, I’m just tired, that’s all, it’s ok” Sakiko does not like my answer and so she lets me have it “that’s it, I thought you might be keeping a secret, but seriously woman, I think you’re pregnant!  You’re grouchy, tired, you’ve been noscious, your clothes are starting to fill in a bit more around your mid section, though lord knows you need it because you are one skinny woman, you cry for no reason, you eat the weirdest foods, even stuff you don’t like….I mean come on!  How long has it been since your last period?”  I had a rebuttal for everything Sakiko was saying, except that last bit, my period….God, why was I so stupid to realize that I haven’t had one in months.  Sakiko snaps her fingers as if she just remembered something she had forgotten.  “Come with me, we’re done cleaning and I bought pregnancy tests, they’re in my locker….don’t ask me questions, I had a pregnancy scare recently, that’s all you need to know!”  

I diligently follow Sakiko and she makes me take 3 tests at once.  Luckily we were at the staffing room after shift change and so everyone was gone.  The wait to see the results was like torture…. “time’s up Liz!  Let’s see!!!!”  We rest our sights on all 3 tests, all positive, “OH MY GOD, I’m p.. p… pregnant!”  I almost scream at the shock, but Sakiko covers my mouth to keep me quiet.  She gives me the biggest hug a best friend could dish out and I can’t believe the overwhelming feeling of joy, fear, love, worry, all of it together….but mostly, love and joy won and my heart felt full.  “How are you going to tell Eisuke?”  the question of the century posed by Sakiko.  I stare at her and just utter the first words that come to my mind  “oh shit!”

Don’t get me wrong, I love the man with all my heart and have done just about everything for him….but he is a narcissistic pain in the rear… most of the time, but he can be sweet and loving … and extremely sexual… ugh, enough Liz, how do I break the news to the man?  I make my way back to the penthouse after my shift is over and head to take a shower after a long day.  Sakiko was going to give me some prenatal vitamins tomorrow and I needed to make my appointment with the OBGYN as soon as possible.  Eisuke was with the boys downstairs discussing up-coming plans for the ship and I went ahead and called it a night earlier than usual.

LIZ POV - Next Morning Thanks to catching up on rest I feel better in the morning… strangely enough, I found that I did not have a lot of morning sickness this past few months, so that means I’m one of the lucky ones.  As I smile to myself and begin to head out to a suite with Sakiko, she rushes over to me with a bottle of pills in one hand … and a big grin.  “Look Liz, here are the pre-natal vitamins and I scheduled an appointment for you to meet with my OBGYN, he can see you today; I talked to the manager and told him you had to take care of a personal issue, so he won’t inform Eisuke… leave the pager to Erika and let’s get the heck outta dodge!”  I was surprised at how resourceful Sakiko can be, but I just smiled and went along with her plan!  Sakiko and I were off… unbeknownst to us, we had many eyes on us.

EISUKE’S POV Liz has been working hard lately, but I need my woman to spend more time with me.  I keep paging her and receive no reply, suddenly I look up and notice that nosy brat maid waltz in along with the manager from the elevator, “Mr. Ichinimoya, Ms. Erika here will be assisting for today”  I look at the manager and glare at him “where’s Liz?”  I’m sorry sir, Ms. Sakiko and Ms. Liz had to take care of something and will be back briefly.” I stand up and put my newspaper down “what did they have to take care of?” the manager nervously shifted his tie and bowed down, “apologies sir, they did not want to tell me, but it seemed important.”  I sighed and started to get frustrated “take this maid with you and have Liz meet me as soon as she returns” the manager vowed even lower and took Erika with him.

As soon as those two left I contacted Soryu, Mamoru and Baba, apparently, they were all nearby.  Within minutes, Baba is the first to come in “hey there Boss, I got to see your pretty lady this morning leave, did she have a girl’s day planned?”  I look at Baba and ignore what he just said “find out where they went Lupin, now!”  Baba puts his hands up in the air and walks to the elevator.   Soryu comes in 15 minutes later and simply nods my way “so what is it Eisuke?” I look at Soryu “something here is off, I need you to look at hotel footage to see what Liz has been up to in the last 48 hours.  She went out with her friend and didn’t even ask for my permission…. Go …. Now and give me a report within the hour…” Soryu just sighs, rolls his eyes and takes off.  Mamoru is nowhere to be seen, he must be asleep.

ONE HOUR LATER

Soryu returns right on the dot with a laptop … he shows me footage of Liz with Sakiko working, but at one point, Sakiko is supporting Liz and she takes her to the employee’s restroom area, they both come out looking different, happy, but different after a while… then he shows me footage of Sakiko handing over a bottle of pills to Liz, but we can’t make out what they are … “Eisuke, I don’t know what is going on, but it could be that those are drugs, you think Liz started a bad habit?”  the mere suggestion of such a thing shocks me, I can’t even picture it, but what if?  I get a phone call and Baba is calling me, I answer “speak!” …Baba laughs “wow, well hello to you too boss, I found the lovely ladies coming out of a clinic, looks like they went to see the doctor, I’m just not sure what kind of doctor, the clinic is for low income people and there’s all sorts of people here… no one wants to talk…”  I can’t deny, I started to get worried.  “Baba, get the idiot artist and Mamoru and meet me back here in an hour… we need to talk” I look to Soryu after I hang up with Baba.  “I think we’re going to have to have some sort of intervention for her… I don’t want my girl to use drugs, maybe it’s because she’s been working so hard… no wonder she’s always tired, eating weird stuff… too many coincidences… I’ll call the manager and have her come to us soon, we’re all going to talk to her.”  Soryu looks at me with a frown “do you think you can honestly be sincere and caring to her in order to help her out of this ordeal?”  I sigh, but decide that when it comes to her, I’ll do anything.  “yes I can, and you idiots are going to help me.”

LIZ’s POV Sakiko and I walk back to the Tres Spades, I was holding on strongly to my purse that contained the first pictures of my babies, MY BABIES, TWINS!, I’m so excited, I’m going to be a mother and they are both super healthy.  Sakiko and I waltz in to the hotel and find that the manager and Baba are both waiting for us.  “Hey there pretty ladies!  I’ve been waiting for you! The boss would like to see you Liz, please come with me.”  Baba gives me a serious stare, for some reason, I giggle and give Sakiko a tight hug goodbye and walk with Baba to the Lounge.

As we enter the penthouse, I notice Mamoru, Soryu, Ota and Eisuke all waiting for me with the weirdest looks on their faces, they look concerned, yet gentle and strangely enough, there was no teasing going on.  I glance at Eisuke and nervously ask “what’s going on Eisuke?”

All the men glance at each other briefly as Eisuke stands up, sighs, and looks at me straight in the eye “Liz, I know I’ve put you through a lot and that you’re stressed, but please know that we are all here to support you”  I give him a confused stare and look at the guys too “um….what is all this about?”  Ota chimes in, “we’re here for you Koro, no matter what, you’re our girl” okay, this is getting weirder by the second.  Soryu stands up and gives me picture stills from the video surveillance system in the hotel “we saw you with Sakiko and it looks like you both are doing something you shouldn’t…”  Eisuke pulls me to his chest and begins to stroke my hair… “we can get you help to deal with your addiction” that just took the cake, I mean WHAT?!  I pull back in shock, look at the pictures, then stare at all the guys as they all look at me with a loving, yet concerned face.   I couldn’t hold it any longer “HA HA HA HA HA HA….oh my GOD, HA, HA, HA”  I start laughing so hard I needed to sit down to catch my breath…. The guys all continue to look at me and they begin to look confused and shocked “Liz, this is serious, we know you went to see the doctor, are you getting help? Baba asked.  I was still laughing and began to cry from the laughter…. “yes Baba, ha, ha, ha….I saw the doctor and it’s , ha, ha, ha…. Super serious…”  I grab my purse and decide to get my revenge for all the teasing these little jerks have given me over the past year and a half.  I take out the sonogram pictures and hand them to Eisuke.  I was blessed that the pictures did not have any words on them, so they didn’t know what they were looking at; no descriptors, just sonogram pictures with two bubbles and alien shaped masses inside of each and numbers on the sides to calculate their size.  

They all glare at the pictures and look surprised “kid, what in the hell is this?”  Mamoru huffs…  I take a deep breath, clean my tears from all the laughter “well Mamo, this is serious, those are two tumors you are looking at… now before you judge me, no, I’m not doing drugs you idiots… now back to those pictures, those tumors are going to grow and grow”  Eisuke’s eyes widen and looks at me in surprise and cheer worry “but, what, what’s wrong, what did the doctor say woman?!”  I hold in my laughter, time to tell them the truth, this is cruel, but they deserved it!  “well honey, apparently, I can’t do nothing about those, they will continue to grow for the next 5 months and then, I’ll have to push them out” Now they are all looking at me more confused, semi-disgusted and a little out of their minds trying to find the best way to comfort me, not really knowing what is wrong with me; all thanks to me further confusing them.  I begin to laugh and hold Eisuke’s face and pull him down to me and give him a kiss.  “Those little ‘tumors’ are actually our future children Eisuke, you’re looking at twins”…. Eisuke’s jaw drops and all the guys are looking at me now, “guys, I appreciate you being worried about me, but those pills were pre-natal vitamins and Sakiko has been helping me, I just found out I was pregnant yesterday afternoon and we went to verify it today… I wanted to surprise Eisuke and was debating on how to do it, but you guys made this incredibly memorable!”  I take out my phone, take a few steps back and take a picture of them as they all have a shocked look.  With the cliché’ sound of the shutter, they all snap and realize what I just did.  Laughter soon spreads through the room, Eisuke rushes towards me and picks me up princess style.  He holds me gently and kisses my cheek, he’s about to attempt to spin me around, but Ota and Baba stop him before doing so.  “Woah there Boss!  Careful with your family!” Baba pats Eisuke on the back and I’m slowly let down on the ground.  Eisuke inches in closer to my ear so no one can hear “I love you baby, thank you for this.”

EISUKE’s POV We’ve all just basically poured our hearts out to Liz in an attempt to help her and she laughs in our faces…. Now she’s talking something about tumors as she shows us pictures, oh God, please don’t let this be serious.  I stand there looking at her as she tries to explain to us what is going on, when suddenly she takes my face and pulls me in for a small kiss.  She looks at me with those beautiful brown eyes and says “Those little ‘tumors’ are actually our future children Eisuke, you’re looking at twins” …..I couldn’t compute this in my head, so many emotions were running through that I stared into space just like the others were doing and then I hear a “snap” from Liz’s phone and I’m suddenly brought back to reality.  I reach for her instantly and carry her in my arms very gently.  I hug her and attempt to swing her around, but Baba and Ota stop me, these idiots.  I let down Liz slowly to the floor as she unlocks her phone and begins to look at pictures she had on her cell phone.  I lean in and whisper in her ear “I love you baby, thank you for this.”  I can’t believe I am going to be a father, of course, I’ll be better than anyone else.  “I believe this calls for a celebration!  I’ll get the wine and Ota, you get some juice for the princess.” Bubba is a happy mess right now, but I can care less, I just ignore them and focus on her.

ALMOST 5  MONTHS LATER LIZ POV “Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa …..heeeee, heeee, huuuuuuuuu…”  so much pain, but I’m here at the hospital pushing for my first baby to come out….. Eisuke is next to me and for some reason, I want to punch his lights out!  Gaaaaaa……

“You’re doing great Liz, the head is out, here comes the tough part, you’re my brave girl, now push!”   who does he think he is, grrr “you jerk face!  I swear if you tell me what to do one more time, kyaaaaaaa!”  as soon as I was done screaming, I felt relief for a few minutes and witnessed the miracle of the birth of our daughter…. The nurses were cleaning her mouth and suddenly I heard the loudest cry come from her little mouth…I see Eisuke and he looks like he’s in a trance, tears start to roll from his eyes, something I’ve never seen before….”kyaaaaaaa……. it hurts, haaaa, haaa…”  

Eisuke snaps his attention back to me…..”come on baby, one more, we can do this…”  I nod and begin to focus again, 2 minutes later, my baby boy is born.  The nurses clean both babies in a hurry and hand them to us.  Eisuke holds our daughter and I hold our little baby boy.  “I can’t believe these tiny things are ours, we’re parents, God, they are beautiful!” I start to cry and can’t speak any more, I begin to play with my son’s little hands and kiss them and then tug at my daughter’s adorable baby feet and kiss them…. Eisuke looks at me and says “this is so surreal, I can’t believe how much I love them already…  Liz, you were great, thank you for this, you and the kids, you’re my family and I will always protect you, with my life.”

[queenmakcr-archived]

51 STARTERS FROM BRIDGET JONES’ DIARY, BOTH NOVEL && MOVIE.

SEND ♠ FOR A RANDOM STARTER

ps. feel free to alter pronouns && phrases to your liking!

1. “Can officially confirm that the way to a man's heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.”  2. “I will not fall for any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomanics, chauvists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders, perverts.”  3. “Does anything work outside of London? Apparently not.” 4. ” Wait a minute... nice boys don't kiss like that.” 5. ”It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.” 6. ” But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse.” 7. ”I do not need a blind date.” 8. ”Well, I realized that I had forgotten to... kiss you goodbye, do you mind?” 9. “I will not get upset over men, but instead be poised and cool ice-queen.” 10. ”You once said you liked me just as I am and I just wanted to say likewise.” 11. “Being a woman is worse than being a farmer there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturised, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscles exercised. 12. "Did I really run round your lawn naked?” 13. “Being a woman is worse than being a farmer there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturised, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscles exercised.” 14. “But if you are single the last thing you want is your best friend forming a functional relationship with somebody else.” 15. “I've got to leave my job because I shagged my boss.” 16. “I'm no good at anything. Not men. Not social skills. Not work. Nothing.” 17. “ I've been going crazy. I can't stop thinking about you, and thinking about what an idiot I've been. Christ, is that blue soup?” 18. “When someone loves you it's like having a blanket all round your heart...” 19. “Oh God. Why can't married people understand that this is no longer a polite question to ask? We wouldn't rush up to them and roar, "How's your marriage going? Still have sex?” 20. “I realize that when I met you at the turkey curry buffet, I was unforgivably rude, and wearing a reindeer jumper.” 21. ”Now these are very silly little boots, Jones. And this is a very silly little dress. And, um, these are, fuck me, absolutely enormous panties.” 22. “ Ah, no. Was at a party in London last night, I'm afraid I'm a bit hungover. Wish I could be home with my head in a toilet like all normal people...” 23. ”...ah! New Year's Resolution: drink less... and quit smoking... and quit talking total nonsense to strangers... actually, quit talking, full stop.” 24. ”Tell me, is it one in four marriages that end in divorce these days, or one in three?” 25. ”Perhaps this is the mysterious Mr. Right I have been waiting my whole life to meet.” 26. “Come on, let's get you a drink. How's your love life, anyway?” 27. “Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me.” 28. “This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.” 29. “What you just did is actually illegal in several countries.” 30. “Do you have a boyfriend? A real one?” 31. “What are we going to do about this dinner, then?” 32. ”You look like a common prostitute.” 33. “First, have some more wine, and then tell me the story about practicing French kissing with the art girls at school, because it's a very good story.” 34. ”I must say the sex is still quite surprising. Do you know just the other day I was just dozing off and I felt this huge...” 35. ”Frankly darling, if I had the chance again I wouldn't have had children.” 36. “ Apparently, I used to run round naked in his paddling pool.” 38. ”Look, are you coming to fucking Paris or not?” 39. “I choose Vodka. And Chaka Khan.” 40. ” I like a woman with an arse you can park a bike in and balance a pint of beer on.” 41. ”I happen to like your wobbly bits.” 42. “I have a bottom size of Brazil.” 43. “There once was a young woman from Ealing, / Who had a particular feeling. / She lay on her back, / And opened her crack, / And pissed all over the ceiling.” 44. “The only thing worse than smug married couple; lots of smug married couples.” 45. “I mean there's been all these bloody hints and stuff, but has he ever actually stuck his fucking tongue down your fucking throat?” 46. “I mean there's been all these bloody hints and stuff, but has he ever actually stuck his fucking tongue down your fucking throat?” 47. "Most of the time I just want to staple things to her head." 48. "Then I think a well-timed blow job's probably the best answer." 49. "Shut up, please. I am very busy and important." 50. "To be honest, darling, having children isn't all it's cracked up to be. Given my chance again, I'm not sure I'd have any." 51. “Right. I'll just pop to the shop quickly for some ciggies."

[theareya]

even numbers for the gaming asks!

Okay, its been 1000 years since I posted this gaming ask. But here are the answers!!!! I put most under the read more…

2. First game you played?The first game I ever played ever, in thehistory of forever, was Super Mario Bros. at my babysitter’s house, if mymemory serves me correctly

4. Longest consecutive hours you’ve played agame?Ohkay, let’s see. Without eating or bathing,but I did get up briefly to bathroom and drink water, I finished uncharted 1,2, and 3 consecutively in 120 hrs. Needless to say, I never did that again, asthe blood vessels in my eyes popped, I ate two bigmacs after, and my parentsyelled at me. Otherwise, without moving or tending to most of my basic bodilyneeds, 10 hours max as of late.

6. An underrated game from within the last fewyears?I don’t know, I’m probably biased and neverreally look online to see how the game was rated/how it’s doing. Oh! But! Ireally liked Battleborn, which was basically a game that came out like a littlebefore Overwatch? Or near the same time, actually. You also fight in teamsagainst one another with unique character abilities to obtain certainobjectives. Honestly, it is extremely well done and detailed, but very muchfalls in Overwatch’s shadow possibly due to similarity and budget D:  8. The game with the best atmosphere/scenery?I’m biased. I love Bioshock. But I also am ahuge fan of those apocalyptic, dystopia aesthetics. So, essentially, anythingalong the lines of bioshock, Fallout, and Last of us.

10. Prefer PC or console?I’ve always played on console. And I’m so bad atPC. You would think it’s a bit easier to aim a cursor to shoot at something,but I’m particularly bad at that.

12. Most bizarre game you’ve ever played?Most games are pretty… bizarre. Most of theactual weird ones I’ve only seen online on those “top ten weirdest video games”but maybe Katamari? There are definitely weirder ones… The Nightmare Within wasalso… strange. I don’t actually know what counts as bizarre anymore in thegaming world. Shrek party…

14. Do you watch playthroughs online?Sometimes, yes! If I know I am never going toget the game. For example, an xbox exclusive (I do not have an xbox) or if Ialready played the game and want to see others suffer, lmao. Or if I like thestreamer.

16. The best year in gaming you’ve experienced?… I don’t remember. I’m going to say 2011.

18. Worst game you’ve played?There are probably worse games, but I’ll go withthe most recent one I’ve played, which was Bound by Flame. It was kind of thisunfortunate mix of—attempt at—Dark Souls, Dragon Age, and other medieval games.Some parts of the gameplay were unnecessarily hard for kicks, with no way toovercome the boss aside from chipping away at the health by throwing a rock atit, while your single dead companion lay sprawled in the middle of the fieldten seconds into the fight. And of the one and a half romance options pergender you were allowed, none of them were very enticing. Spoiler** I overcamethe end fight by purchasing 10,000 potions to fight the dragon. I made itthrough just fine, only after using 600 potions. Strategy was little help, butheyo I made it through. 20. Favorite publisher and/or developer?…Sony? I don’t know… I’m terrible at thesequestions.

22. If you could turn one game into movie, whichwould it be?You know I don’t know, since any game thatturns into a movie makes me want to cry bitter tears of hate. I’m looking atresident evil specifically. But if I could turn Bioshock into a really goodmovie with the proper actors/actresses, storyline, extras, atmosphere, then …yeah.

24. Ever cried because of a video game? Whichone(s)?…Too many. Nothing gets me more invested andemotional than a videogame. I guess the only one that has made me actually cryvisible tears is Journey. The ending overwhelmed me in an inexplicable way.

26. How often do you play online? Co-op?Relatively often now, especially withOverwatch, and the fact that a lot of my friends have Overwatch as well. So,like, every other day, if not daily. Otherwise, I love co-oping with a friend mostlybecause the AI that they give to work with you tends to … suck butts. Lookingat Resident Evil… again.

28. Who got YOU into gaming?My babysitter. Haahaa. I used to hang out ather house all the time and I’d watch her play all sorts of games. She’s alsothe one who gifted me my purple game boy color :’D30. On average, how long does it take you in thecharacter creation screen?Could be up to an hour. But at least 30minutes. It depends on if I know what I want.

32. Do you cosplay?I do! But I’ve actually only cosplayed animethings. Most of the video game stuff I would like to cosplay is too hard and/orI wouldn’t do it justice. Also I’ve been parts of group cosplays generally, sowe gotta find a good match.

34. Favorite male npc?For some unknown reason, the only personpopping into my head right now is erandur, the dark elf companion, from skyrim.Like… he’s not my favorite npc, but…my mind is drawing a complete blank. And isjust repeating that name over and over in my head. Oh boy

36. Best antagonist?Albert Wesker. …Spoiler??** Look… if you gottathrow him in a volcano to get rid of him after 200 tries of “just survive longenough” fights, he’s pretty good to me. Please let him die.  

38. Have you tried a game, hated it, then triedagain, and loved it?N….no? There are some games where I getfrustrated, then invite a friend to play, who is extremely over-leveled, andthen they help me… live. Does that count?40. Favorite voice actor?Okay, I love Troy Baker. How can one person beso gosh darn versatile?? For anyone who doesn’t know (I doubt that) He voicesJoel from TLOU, Booker from Bioshock, Sam Drake from Uncharted, to name theones that pop into my head. And he does like a million other voices, and sings,and is just very excellent overall. 

42. A game you will never forget (in a bad ORgood way)?Resident Evil 5 in the respect that I justplayed it during a very happy time in my life with one of my friends. And itwas also when I learned that I really love co-op, as well it was a supertreasured bonding time with that friend. We legit screamed so obnoxiouslythroughout the whole thing, apologized profusely, yelled for help. Like thatgame brought out our full range of emotion while playing.

44. Do graphics matter?Not necessarily. They add a nice kick, butthere are quite a few games I can think of where the gameplay and story aremore prominent. Storyline is generally always the main thing I look for first.Storyline and characters. 46. Always, sometimes, or never use subtitles?ALWAYS. Even for NPCs. Like the setting thatsays “ALL SUBTITLES” one of the reasons is because it alerts me to enemiessometimes too as they whisper in the distance. Which is the closest thing to awarning from jump scares that I’m going to get.

48. A game you’ve always wanted to play but havenever gotten to it?Um. I’ve actually been pretty aggressive ingetting my grubby hands on the games that I want. EXCEPT. Nearly everythingthat came out after Kingdom Hearts: Chain of memories?? Like 2.3, 2.4, 2.5, 5 ½,365/3 days  idk there were too many?? AndI basically had almost every console except the PSP so I just kind of gave up??

50. How many games do you own?…uh… too many?? At least 200 if you total allof them from the dawn of my first game boy color.52. A game you will always stand behind, andsupport no matter what?..Fable. OKAY So, even though the game, alongwith the game company crashed and burned, I really loved that first game??Along with The Lost Chapters. I essentially based the experiences I had withFable 2, 3, Journey on how good the first game was. If I were to make someoneplay it now, they would probably think it’s pretty dumb, but I thought it was acleverly made game…54. A sequel you really want?… lmao Fable. AND/OR The Wolf Among us, becausethat’s been sitting there for far too long.56. Do you tell people irl that you play videogames?Yeah. If it comes up in the conversation. Or if…they have merchandise that I want.

58. Ever have someone walk in on a sex scenebetween you and you LI?N…o…60. The game you are best at?I know Bioshock inside and out… I don’t knowwhy I’ve played it so much, it’s a very linear game, but wuh. Also weirdly, I’mvery good at Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. And the only reason I’m obnoxiously goodat that game is because of the Chaos. I love those ridiculous little things andwould do anything to make sure they’re happy and healthy. And in order to dothat I had to play each stage multiple times to get the right power-ups andanimals to feed the Chaos…. There was a whole garden. And god.

62. Would you want to work with video games whenyou are older?I feel like if I start working with it I’llstart disliking it very much, unless I literally work as a tester… that getspaid a decent amount. Like seriously, walk in, sit down, play for… hours uponhours. Otherwise, I do not have the creativity or skill. lmao.

64. Describe your favorite video game using onlythree words?Underwater death city.

66. Game with the yummiest looking food?Final Fantasy XV. Okay, so I haven’t finishedthe game. I’m really not even that far into it, like… at all. I just saw thefood and got hungry. It’s so realistic and pretty.  

68. An older game that you’ve just recentlygotten into?I guess… Fallout New Vegas was pretty old, butthen my friend bought it for me on sale, and I tried it out and it was supergood??? And now I’m really into the Fallout series.

70. Do you play any mobile games?I.. play Fire Emblem Heroes, and a variety ofother mobile games like.. Notice me Senpai, Zen Koi, Mystic Messenger, uhhh…whatever is recommended sometimes. .

72. Have any guilty pleasure games?Not really. I’m pretty prideful in every game Iplay, including my otome games.74. Which game has the best lore?…Once…. Again, BIOSHOCK. Idk there are just somany little things in the city that you can find that point to the history ofthe residents, and what happened to them. There are those audio messages and littlesecrets that everybody has in the city, leading to its fall. I just love it somuch. Skyrim is a close second, to be fair. It’s more immersive and I canroleplay more on there.

[paradox-oflife]

q and a part 6 pls ignore

1. Who was your favourite teacher at school and why? My 9th grade Lit teacher. She was the kindest soul I’ve ever met.

2. Whats your favourite party game? I LOVE MAFIA. I’m not talking about basic mafia. You gotta play upgraded versions. I personally love playing one called One Night Ultimate Werewolf. I also like playing the law version which is made for super big groups - There’s police involved, and they choose the mafia. The person accused can hire lawyers who defend them. The police have to present their reasoning, and the lawyers have to figure out how to prove them wrong. God it’s basically Danganronpa isn’t it.

3. Is it acceptable or unacceptable to smack a child as form of discipline? Now this is controversial, and understandably so.  I personally would never hit my child and yell at them. But for other people, if it’s a light smack, like a pat, I guess it’s alright. But otherwise nothing harder than that.

4. Can a hetrosexual male ever wear pink? Um, yes??? Do what you want man.

5. Is it criminal to wear socks with sandals? Listen I’ve seen too many people wear these in public to the point where I’m numb to it.

6. If you were captain of a ship, what would you call it? Make it an obscure video game reference or an inside joke. 

7. If you were to join an emergency service which would it be? Probably the medical side of things, like an EMT. Or a firefighter. EMT’s go through a lot of pressure.

8. If you were to join one of the armed forced which would it be? Maybe coast guard. But I really would not want to join the military. I’m too sensitive. If people yell at me I’d probably cry lol. And there’s the colorblind test.

9. Whats the worst thing about being your gender? Periods. And the pain of child birth. Also how it’s scary to walk alone at night sometimes.

10. Whats the best thing about being your gender? Of course this doesn’t apply to everyone, but I feel like sometimes the friendships girls have are more emotional than boys.

11. If you swapped genders for a day how would you spend it? Honestly? Just observe my body. Not in a sexual manner but like, how does it feel like to not have boobs? How does it feel to have a dick???

12. If you were exiled what country would you choose as your new home? I’m moving back to New Zealand lol. I already have a passport and family there. Or maybe Canada if I don’t want a big culture difference

13. Have you ever made someone cry? Yeah :( Not through verbal attack though. I accidentally kicked a football into a girl’s face.

14. Have you ever starred in a school play? In the first elementary school I went to, it was mandatory to do a play. So yes. Three, actually.

15. Were you a member of any celebrity fanclub? Nope

16. Have you ever been a member of any other club? Yes! Animal Services and Protection, CSF (volunteering stuff), Martial Arts

17. If you could have a full scholarship to any university what would you choose to study? The university I’m going to rn

18. Whats been your greatest ever day? I have a lot. One of my favorites was going to an amusement park at the end of middle school. Had a blast.

19. What historical period would you like to live in if you could go back in time? Hmm... Maybe during the Age of Enlightment?

20. What would you bring along to an idillic picnic? My friends, no phones, music, and a sandwich.

21. Whats your favourite childrens story? Does Harry Potter count? I guess not really. When i was little I loved Geronimo Stilton LMAO

22. What movie ending really frustrated you? And how would you change it? The Mist. I mean, it frustrated me not because it was bad, but because it was so FRUSTRATING.

23. What three things do you think of most each day? Now we’re in quarantine, “I wonder how my friends are doing?” “What am I doing with my life?” “Will life be the same?”

24. What do you call your evening meal? Dinner Tea or Supper? Dinner

25. What do you call your after meal sweet? Pudding or Dessert? Dessert. I usually just have a fruit

26. If you had a warning label, what would yours say? “Warning! Certified Grade A Clown!”

27. Have you ever got sweet revenge on anyone? Can’t really think of one

28. Have you ever been to a live concert? aaaah no i really want to though

29. Have you ever been to see stand up comedy? It was a long time ago on a cruise. It was pretty funny :D

30. Have you ever needed stitches? Yup. If you observe closely, you can see a faint scar near my eye. If it was a bit more obvious I’d look like an anime villain lol

31. If you could invent brand new baby names what would they be? LMAO imagine naming your child like, Fire Emblem names. “Hi yes this is my baby, um, his name is Chrom”

32. Do your dreams ever tell you to do anything? I have the most bizarre dreams. They’re super vivid. They range from me summoning tornados, to me being killed in some Danganronpa world. I dreamed of a school shooting once and a couple days later some other school in my state had a shooting

33. Who's your favourite radio 1 DJ? I don’t really listen to radio lol

34. Whats the best way to your heart? Be a good person. Have good morals.

35.  Do you know your own mobile phone number off by heart? Um yes??? 

36. If you were a fashion designer, what style of clothing or accessories would you design? Just comfortable hoodies that don’t change when you wash it.

37. Do you ever laugh at things you shouldn't? I laugh when I’m nervous. Like I go like, “hahahawhat the hell”. I also laugh when I’m shocked.

38. Have you ever been in a submarine? Yes! But it wasn’t underwater.

39. Have you ever walked out of a cinema before the film was done? Nope. 

40. What song would you say best sums you up? Eeeh i can’t decide but Read my Mind by the Killers. Their music video. When he’s twitching his arms, but he’s acting like everything’s fine.

41. Do you have any old friends would wish you could meet up with again? Yeah :( I had a super super close friend from 4th grade and we slowly drifted apart. By the time of high school we just stopped. I want to be friends with her again :((( I really miss her

42. Whats your favourite Nursery Rhyme? Idk... ring around a rosy maybe just because the context of the lyrics lol

43. Do you prefer metric or imperial measurements? Of course I’d take metric over imperial, but I’m used to it by now.

44. Who's your favourite monarch of all time?Queen Elizabeth I

45. What was the last thing you ate? These Asian things called Zong Zi in Chinese. I’m pretty sure like every country has their own version of it lol/

46. Whats your favourite farmyard animal? I love baby chickens but cows for me I guess

47. If you could choose one celebrity to be the father/mother of your child who would it be? Just someone who’s caring. Tyler Joseph

48. What would you do if someone proposed to you tomorrow? If it’s someone I like, then I’d freak out. Because I’m way too young for it.

49. What are your 3 favourite internet sites? Reddit, youtube, and uh... tumblr or wikipedia. I use tumblr mobile way often

50. How high can you jump? Never measured but definitely not that high

51. Which fictional character do you wish was real? aw man i would say a character but then that would imply their universe exists

52. Who was your first crush? PHFFT IT WAS probably Marshall Lee from the genderbent episodes of Adventure Time.

53. Whats the greatest thing about being your nationality? The food

54. Whats the least greatest thing about being your nationality? Having to explain the difference between Taiwan and China. Like. It’s understandable.

55. Do you believe in destiny, fate or free will? I kinda correlate destiny with fate. It’s a bit paradoxical. We have free will to do whatever we want, but whatever choice you make will end up being your “destiny”

56. If you could talk to one species of animal which would it be? Dogs. They just seem so happy all the time. I want to tell my dog I love him so much.

57. If you had friends round what DVD's would you have to watch? Mean Girls, Heathers, Legally Blonde, or Daria

58. Do you like vanilla or chocolate? Vanilla>>> fight me

59. Are you a giver or a receiver? Both

60. Do you have any enemies? Yeah. Me.

61. Are you scared of needles? YES YES YES

62. How many piercings do you have? Nah I was going to get my ears pierced a while ago but something came up so ever since I’ve jsut haven’t gotten it done

63. Have you ever got majorly lost trying to get somewhere? yes it was scary. Had to use google maps because I have a terrible sense of direction

64. How fast can you say the alphabet? 4 seconds

65. Do you say "Zee" or "Zed" to describe the letter Z? Zee

66. What was the last thing to make you feel happy? My dog fell asleep at my feet and I couldn’t move for the past hour but I love him

67. What was the last thing to make you feel angry? A friend of mine. I love her and all but she takes a week to respond to my texts. And I’m tired of waiting.

68. You are walking to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time you're fired. Do you save the dog? Okay realistically I immediately call animal control or the nearest vet or something. But in some alternate universe I’d take pictures as proof, grab the dog, then get it out.

69. Are you the kind of friend you'd want to have as a friend yourself? I perceive myself as a not so great person. But my friends perceive me as a good person. So yeah. i mean, I might not text first sometimes but if smoeone texted me I’d always respond asap!

70. Do you have any questions or queries about things you're just to scared or embarrassed to ask anyone about? Do my friends like me as much as I like them? I’m so scared of that

71. If you were a wrestler what would your stage name be? and what would your special move be called? Haha maybe like Paradoxical (yes thats my blizzard tag) I’d do something like a shihonage

72. Whats the most interesting thing you can see out of your nearest window? A cat

73. Do you think Barbie is a negative role model for young girls? There’s a lot of Barbie models out there. I don’t think they’re completely bad. But there’s negative things.

74. Have you ever needed an eye test? Don’t have glasses so no. But I might need some soon at the rate of time i spend on electronics

75. Do you find yourself attractive? No. I’m just. Average.

76. Can you roll your R's? Yes

77. What social class do you consider yourself or your family background to be in? Upper middle class

78. Do you know any magic tricks? I used to but I never execute them well enough to convince anyone lol

79. Whats the largest amount of money you've ever won? I ever won? Probably like, $100 lol

80. Whats the largest amount of money you've spent in one spree? $200, if we’re not talking necessities.

81. Whats the largest amount of money you've had to borrow off of a friend or family member? I don’t borrow money. But the most from a friend was like $20 maybe.

82. Have you ever been on a cable car? Yeah, San Francisco is known for that stuff. But I’ve only been on one like, twice.

83. Do you prefer Honey or Jam? Jam! But I like honey too.

84. Do you prefer the French or Germans? Uuuuh, French?

85. How fast can you get changed? Pretty damn fast, if we’re talking my normal outfit.

86. How fast do you type? Around 98 wpm

87. How fast can you run? I’m a decent sprinter. I got 12 seconds on a 100m dash.

88. Which is better, Mario or Sonic? Mario. But both are cool

89. Whats your favourite biscuit to dunk? (im assuming british biscuit but in that case idk)

90. Which would you rather have if you had to, a broken leg or a broken arm? Arm. I like walking around.

91. Do you read a daily newspaper? Nah

92. Do you watch the news on TV? Sometimes

93. Have you ever had anything published? Nope

94. Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really. I mean, Romeo and Juliet, and Frozen has warned us right

95. How many remote controls do you have in your house? Two.

96. Have you ever been in a hot tub or sauna? Yes, and it’s hella

97. Have you ever had chicken pox? Nope. Vaccines rock

98. Do you own a lava lamp? Nah, it seems cool but I’d be too mesmerized by it

[graceivers]

Review #48 - Ruined

Ruined Author: Tracy Wolff Genre: Billionaires & CEOs, Contemporary Romance, Workplace Romance Rating: ★★ Recommendation: not worth it; once was enough Summary: To outrun the demons of her past, Chloe Girard is focused on impressing at her internship at Frost Industries. The CEO of the company takes a quick liking to her after a chance encounter, and once they get together, he can’t let her go.

Female Lead: I genuinely did not understand how Chloe was seemingly so bright academically and yet genuinely so dumb when it came to her relationship with Ethan. This girl got a full scholarship to some fancy private school in Massachusetts (WHICH ONE, WOLFF, WHICH ONE?), got a fancy internship at Frost Industries, miraculously made a breakthrough in her INTERNSHIP WORK that helped the company on a big case, and had genuine plans to attend law school. Wolff tried so hard in the beginning to bang the idea that Chloe was self-sufficient and independent and strong and stubborn and in control over our heads, and yet when it came to Ethan, Chloe had zero resolve in staying away. Sure, she put up a big fight here and there, but in the end, she was too entranced by their apparently amazing and intense and undeniable chemistry and need for each other. Everything was so unnecessarily romanticized in Chloe’s perspective, and considering that was the entire book, it got old and irritating quickly. I mean, did she hear herself? There was so much unnecessary garnish and flourish when she talked herself into thinking certain ways—when Wolff wrote some outlandish explanations and excuses as to why Chloe could still love Ethan despite him being slightly attached to the most traumatic experience of Chloe’s life. Girl, you are so much better than that. Male Lead: Ethan was slightly perplexing. There was gentle Ethan who was caring and considerate of Chloe. There were moments where he gave without expecting anything in return, where he didn’t push her for what he sensed she wasn’t ready to give. Then there was the typical billionaire/CEO Ethan who was attractive and charming in that forbidden and elusive way that lured Chloe into his arms and life. But then there was Ethan who made mistakes, didn’t learn from his mistakes, and continued to make the same mistakes. He said he never wanted to hurt Chloe, and yet he did when he continued to keep things from her that were relevant to her. Communication, people. Communication is important. You would think that Ethan would’ve learned that after the first time, but nope. And then as the story/books went on and on, Ethan also got more and more controlling and possessive. Was that part of the supposed alpha appeal? Yeah, probably. But the juxtaposition between that and previously established gentle side was… perplexing to me. Different facets to a complicated man? Sure. But for some reason, I had a difficult time putting it all together into the one character. Plot & Writing: I don’t get these billionaire/CEO stories sometimes. I mean, I clearly see the appeal because I keep going back to these stories and characters, but good God, why aren’t they written any better? Why do these types of stories always go like this? If it’s not some typical and cliched boss and his assistant, it’s what we get in the Ethan Frost series: unassuming girl catches the attention of the billionaire/CEO and their supposed connection is just too strong and deep and intense for them to completely quit each other despite the fact that one of them is at least partly the cause of the other’s suffering.

Let me get some logistics out of the way. Ruined is the first book of a trilogy about Ethan and Chloe’s relationship. There’s technically a fourth book in the series, but the leads in that one are different, though obviously characters we have met in the original trilogy. I finished Ruined and read half of the second book, Addicted, before I stopped halfway and skimmed/abandoned because I had had enough. I doubt whatever I missed in the second book or the entire third book will make a difference in my review, so I’m saving myself some time and energy and not reading them.

Regarding Wolff’s writing style, let’s just say it was rather long. What the author basically did was like freeze frame on a moment and then drag it out as much as possible with inner thoughts and reflection that didn’t always stay relevant to the moment. That was basically the hallmark of the entire book/series and not in a good way. Wolff’s writing at times became very long-winded. There was a lot more inner monologue/introspection than dialogue. Now, as a writer for fun, I am guilty of that too. But the way Wolff froze moments in time so Chloe could have these long-winded reflections became painstaking and annoying. Oh, and then there were just sex scenes in the wrong places. Like Chloe’s guttural reaction when she found out about how Ethan was related to her traumatic past, she was so rightfully furious and out of control; and yet, it suddenly turned into a sex scene! I didn’t get it. And then the sex they had in the rain in public at that dinner party thing in the second book where Chloe again wasn’t speaking to Ethan and wasn’t in a good place with him? Yep, didn’t get that either.

Speaking of Ethan and Chloe’s relationship… If it wasn’t clear how I felt about it in the character’s section, let me clarify here. Again, Wolff really tried her best to sell the relationship as too strong and undeniable for them to be separated. And though I honestly bought it at times in the first book, that supposed deep love was not reason enough for me to believe in the ensuing breakups and reunions between these two. Again, the drawn-out explanations became too much, and those excuses ultimately seemed lame and unbelievable—like Chloe was trying to arguing herself into still loving and staying with Ethan when she knew it wasn’t a good idea. And then! You realize that they’ve only known each other for two weeks that span the entire first book? That fact sure put a even bigger damper in the believability of their relationship.

And then… I feel like I must address the whole belly chain thing. First of all, when the thing first appeared and was mentioned, I didn’t even know what it was. Like I literally searched ‘Tiffany’s chain’ on the web trying to figure out what the heck Wolff was talking about because it wasn’t a necklace and it wasn’t a bracelet; it wasn’t even an anklet or whatever because it was mentioned to be near Chloe’s hip. And then, BAM. BELLY CHAIN. AND I WAS LIKE… WHAT? WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IN THE HELL IS A BELLY CHAIN? IS THIS FOR REAL? DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY MAKE THESE THINGS? DOES TIFFANY’S ACTUALLY MAKE THESE THINGS? DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY WEAR THESE THINGS? IS THIS FASHIONABLE? I was genuinely confused out of my damn mind. And then! The belly chain was mentioned everywhere, all the damn time. AND AGAIN. CHLOE TRYING TO RATIONALIZE AND ROMANTICIZE EVERYTHING AND SAYING RIDICULOUS AND HONEST TO GOD DUMB THINGS ABOUT HOW THE CHAIN GROUNDS HER AND LINKS HER TO ETHAN AND MAKES HER FEEL SAFE AND SECURE. Woman, no. NO. Chloe was all like, “Don’t call it a collar,” in the second book, and Ethan’s literal response to that was, “That’s exactly what it is and you and I both know it.” HA. HA!

And that was when I stopped reading. No further explanation should be needed as to why I stopped there. Oh, but briefly and very randomly, this wasn’t put in the college category even though Chloe was like a twenty-year-old college student because there was no school mentioned really at all. Similarly, this was not put in the lawyers category because despite interning with law department at Frost Industries, Chloe was a twenty-year-old college student and not a lawyer or even in law school. Favorite Part(s): The first chapter of Ruined, where it was predictable and you knew the guy behind the counter giving Chloe a hard time was fortunately or unfortunately Ethan. I actually really enjoyed that interaction between them two. I also really did love the moment Ethan realized Chloe hadn’t eaten anything and was hungry and instantly dropped their little standoff/fight/banter to give her not only what she wanted but an extra helping. If only the book could’ve stayed in that nice bubble… Final Thoughts: Billionaire/CEO romances, how you’ve failed me again. Ruined and the rest of the trilogy was very predictable, but that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was feeling like Wolff didn’t know what to do with her characters—that she made Ethan and Chloe’s quick and undying love for each other seemingly solve all their major problems when it didn’t and shouldn’t have. Will I continue to read books with billionaire/CEO characters? Yes. Do I recommend Ruined/this trilogy? No.