#my body is struggling lmaooooo

[umbreonwolfy]

🫶🫶🫶

I love the Pinterest ones now that I actually use it XD

Obsessed with getting Adichi and Kurosawa for mood.

Not gonna tag anyone but if anyone see this and wants to, I wanna see what you got~

how does pinterest see you? search up:

~fashion

~pantone

~mood

~food

and put the first picture that shows up

mine:

tag ur moots!!!!

@batschistcrazy @julia-bonkers @girlbossblog444 @greengirllover @turnerside @ohmanareyoucereal69 +anyone who wants to join<333

[bougiebutchbinch]

I think I've finally nailed down my biggest issue with the OFMD fandom.

It's important to represent queer joy and a struggle-free queer life in fiction, full of people who accept themselves for who they are. It's great to see queer characters living and loving happily, without self-hate.

Queer struggles are important too, and should be represented.

Those who struggled - often for years, while facing a horrifically repressive society that many of us young'uns cannot appreciate - to come to terms with their queerness have worth. Those who were afraid to come out, for whatever reason, deserve representation too.

Likewise, it's important to represent disabled joy and a struggle-free disabled life in fiction - for all sorts of disabilities, but especially for those who have congenital issues that they may not consider disabilities, as they don't inherently cause deleterious side-effects like chronic pain or fatigue (i.e., many d/Deaf folks and folks with facial differences. Not so much a 'knee brace' that is literally just fanon. Don't give writers credit for creating a disabled main character if they refuse to acknowledge him as such, and his 'aid' was literally a fashion accessory that he gives to his boyfriend at one point to complete his 'look' when they're dressing up as each other. Signed: someone who actually wears knee braces lmaooooo)

But guess what.

Disabled struggles are important to represent, too.

For many of us in the (incredibly diverse and varied) disabled community, disability hit us like a truck of bricks. I went from being an incredibly fit and active young person, to being a young person who often literally cannot move their legs, because they're stuck partially out of socket at the hip and any movement is agony, or because my spinal problems mean they're spasming so hard that walking is impossible, or they're simply unable to hold my (very light) weight. A lot of us are in a significant amount of pain that able-bodied people cannot even imagine, day after day after day. A lot of us were traumatised by our disabilities. A lot of us took a long time to accept and love ourselves.

Our disabilities aren't loved. They're horrific. They're hated. They're something we continuously will be struggling with throughout our lives.

And we deserve rep, too.

And we will be upset, when that rep follows an arc that greatly mirrors what a lot of us go through, only to still say they want to die.

When a show has lots of queer rep and disabled rep, that's great. But you have to ask: what types of queer and disabled rep are they showcasing? What types are they allowing to live? What types of queer/disabled rep do they consider to have 'served their narrative purpose' when they finally attain a stage of queer/disabled joy and self-love that the other characters are on? What message does that send?

Your fave show is not above criticism, especially from the marginalised groups it is trying to represent.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

It's honestly so funny that a medical professional had to sit us down like

"Okay obviously you're a system and and your pre-existing diagnosises for ADHD and autism still stand, but Tommy? Tommy, you specifically, look at me- Tommy you have some sort of personality disorder. Tommy you as an alter specifically, like separate from everyone else, have some the symptoms and criteria for some sort of personality disorder. You are kind of extra fucked up. Which one? Listen we'd have to test you again just in different personality disorders to know so we'll find out later. For now just continue avoiding having meltdowns and take this special thing on your record that says "this motherfucker has some sort of personality disorder" on it in case you need that for medical reasons or something, but at some point we have to figure out what is going on with you Tommy. You are like. You need extra help dude. Tommy you're like double fucked up. What are you supposed to do about this information if we don't know which one you have yet or how to treat it? Nothing different from what you already do to relieve symptoms actually. But just be aware you're like, OFF off you know"

Like it is genuinely helpful to know why I struggle with the things I do and I'm sure as we learn more this will be great for my mental health but also they really said "oh YIKES get some help and new studies done on THIS FUCKER in particular, Jesus what is THAT THANG??!!!!" While I sat there and blinked at them autisticly with a ":p" ":3" type face an kicking my little leggies around.

Like "We need reinforcements, there's this fucked up little Twink in here and this little guy can fit so much disorder in him; he's physically vibrating from all the disorder stored up inside his tiny catboy body"

Anyways. Sippies my hot chocolate. Guess I'm some kind of symptom holder or something LMAO idk ✌🏻🌈✨ kicks my leggies I guess I'm just so special and the main character that I get an extra little disorder as a treat!! #maincharafterinnit LMAOOOOO

[et-cant-phone-home-no-signal]

The Last of Us HBO - Episode 2 thoughts

Warning: Pure yapping ahead! More thoughts and things I've noticed watching the show, it's not serious and I don't invite arguments (fellow yappers are more than welcome though)

(continuing with my episode by episode analysis of the tlou show, it's a long one folks! all chronologically written as i was watching the episode. spoilers under the cut)

Fantastic opening - love that we get to see the initial discovery in Jakarta and that they speak Indonesian only! It removes the show from a purely American pov and makes it international, which is something I personally missed a little from the game so it's a welcome addition

The little detail that the military men walk so fast, she has to jog a little to keep up

I like the fact that they didn't even try to cover the dead body at all - why would they?

Same girl I'd have that exact same reaction too 💀💀 visceral as shit

The following visual of the cordyceps reaching out of the corpse's mouth.... Eugh

Ibu Ratna's reaction after hearing 14 workers are missing - her shaking so badly she has to put her cup of tea down, her face reads of pure undiluted horror 🙌👌 - worth mentioning that the casting of Christine Hakim is absolutely top tier (she's basically the Dame Judi Dench of Indonesia fr) and she really brings a gravitas to the role

I find it fascinating and refreshing that the first thing the military man does is to ask about a vaccine or medicine to fix this situation, but the scientist/professor, instead says with absolutely certainty that there is nothing, and then proceeds to say with an eerily calm and assertive tone and face that they must bomb the city. Terrifying yet wonderful that they've finally used a different format to this conversation

Ibu Ratna stifling her sobs and asking to go be with her family, because she knows there is no other solution - Brava

That soft, gentle opening shot of Ellie curled up in the sun on a lush bed of green, a single butterfly crossing over *chef's kiss*

Her turning to see Joel and Tess, sat in the shadows on chairs, Joel with his gun drawn lmaooooo that's comedy right there

Ellie's sass at the interrogation 🤌

"There's not gonna be anything bad in here?" "Just you." "Oh, funny." 💀😂

The fact that Joel broke his hand beating that guy to death - the way Tess looks at Joel, all knowing and vaguely soft

Tess defending Ellie indirectly by wanting to continue with bringing her to the state house - Joel wanting to return to the QZ and saying it would be better for FEDRA do shoot her than them 💀

"You need to stop talking about this kid like she's got some kind of life in front of her." Damn Joel, Tess' face says it all

Joel: struggling to break of a piece of EXTREMELY dry and chewy jerky, Ellie: sammich

Ellie in the warm light, Joel in the cold dark, and Tess in the middle of the two?? Gorg

It's so funny how terribly Joel and Ellie get on at this point, like, they basically hate each other my god

"If she so much as twitches.." *Ellie immediately starts twitching* and then Tess's "Don't." She is so done with these two already lmao

The iconic scenery 🙌 the two massive skyscrapers with one leaning on the other? Oooohhh yeah

The fact that Tess stops and answers Ellie's questions :')

I can't stop looking at Ellie's bag it's just so accurate I love it

"Well, I mean, you got some balls on you, sister." SLAY girls support girls ✨

The specific way Ellie says "no" at the boyfriend question 💅

It's interesting that Tess' reaction to hearing the description of what we know to be a bloater, is "shit, I hope not", insinuating perhaps that she and Joel haven't dealt with those before, but then the way that she looks at Joel after Ellie asks about clickers tells me they know exactly what she's talking about with that one

Immediately after we hear a loud ass creepy scream in the distance, okay!

The set designers got this shit so extremely right goddamn, the hotel gotta be one of my favourite locations fr - I love that they still included this location even if it's at a completely different place in the original story, it works so well here and with Tess added on, the humour is great and the way the characters interact is fun and interesting (Joel's little hop into the water especially gets me, he's such a shit lmao)

Ellie is genuinely so fucking funny I love this kid

Joel offering his hand, immediately snatching it back once she's mostly up cause it's his broken one (but you can see it's more than that)

"Fuck, holy shit." "Come on, it wasn't that bad." "You try climbing ten fuckin floors with our knees. See how you feel." 😭😭

Joel's face at being left alone with Ellie lmao

"Nice knife." great conversation starter Joel, but also, reference to his pocket knife Sarah held in the previous episode? He doesn't have it, when did he have time to grab it after all, but yeah. Maybe I'm overthinking this lmao

"Where'd you learn to do that?" "The circus." *Joel rolls his eyes with such exasperation taht I can feel it through my screen*

"How long do infected live?" "Oh, I thought you went to school." "It's a really shitty one."

Joel avoiding answering the question about the FEDRA dude he killed due to Tess returning is peak writing

I really enjoy how the infected are portrayed in the show - they're not just individuals, they're part of a hive mind in a way, the mycelium connects them all one way or another, and they act like it (the way they all react to sunlight and extra so because they all react to each others pain as well, wow)

Added onto that, this extra lore about the way the cordyceps works is fantastic, it makes it even scarier that, according to Tess, you can accidentally wake up and attract infected from somewhere totally different - this means you're never actually safe 💀

Really love how Tess is so damn nice to Ellie all things considered. Still answering her questions, telling her she has to be careful, that just because she's immune doesn't mean there's no danger

"I have a spare hand." "Congratulations." 😭

I do love how quick Joel is to run over to Ellie whenever something happens (her swearing, falling over, gasping loudly)

The look that Joel and Tess share - they think they know and they're probably right

Dad mode™ activated

That building is anxiety central for me

Joel is so jumpy and twitchy it's a little funny tbh, I like it

Ellie's "oh shit whoops" face

Joel helping Ellie up :')

The sound effects 😭💀😭 they got the same team that did the game clicker sounds to do the show ones and I can TELL

The anxiety is palpable!! My stomach is in knots!! The entrance of the first clicker is terrifying!!

Joel's silent, almost sign language like, explanation for Ellie 😌

The clicker actors are fucking amazing jesus christ. And the special effects and makeup? So GOOD wow absolutely grotesque <3

Not me gasping with Ellie

If I were there I'd probably just hide under a table and hold my breathe 😭

I find the clickers to be quite bird-like, in game and in show

The silence as Joel reloads his gun, the sudden much closer clicking, the flashlight shining directly in its face 🤌

Joel now being the one to step on something crunchy 😩 THE WAY THE CLICKER LAUNCHES ITSELF AT HIM AND ELLIE ACROSS THE DISPLAY

Ellie crying out with pure fear and Joel holding the clicker back more so it's on him not her - HIM PUSHING HER BEHIND HIM!

BIG TESS SLAY

Impressed by how calm their reactions all are to seeing Ellie get bit (?) again (I thought it was more of a scratch at first but I assume it to be a bite due to their reactions to it)

"That was scary, this is wood." HA

The way Tess looks at Joel when he's busy wrapping her foot with diligence and care

I think this is the first sign that Tess had been bit, Joel seems to be looking at her like "what the hell is your problem" but listens and goes to watch Ellie anyway

The view line 😭🤌 love how we basically get this exactly from the game, including Joel looking at his watch :'(

The music 🙌

Second time you can really notice that Tess is differently - she handles Ellie harshly for basically the first time ever and totally ignores Joel

Joel moving Ellie away from the dead body

The squelching of the blood EUgH

Go makeup team go!

Oeiii screaming match :( mom and dad are fighting

The step back speaks volumes

"Oops, right?" just stab me it would hurt less, Anna's delivery of that line is heartbreaking

In fact little quick note of love to Anna Torv, she's such a fucking amazing actor and I love her portrayal of Tess so so much, she brought warmth, strength and balls of steel to the character fr!!

The fact that Tess basically confesses her feelings here, proclaims the knowledge that she feels something for Joel that he was never entirely able to reciprocate back, my god - her BEGGING him to take her because she knows nothing about the future but she believes that Ellie can change it in some capacity

Pedro's eye acting here is so potent, he says nothing but his eyes and face say it all

The mycelium!!!!!! Terrifying that in show canon, infected can basically call for backup!!! Brilliant addition and makes them so much more intimidating (also I HATED seeing the mycelium creep under that infected person's nails that really got a shudder out of me)

God bless the extras

Tess my beloved you make me cry so much you're amazing and you deserved better 😭 she's brave as fuck for this

Joel shaking, his lips quivering because fuck, she's going to die, and now he has to be fully responsible of this kid and he can't do this without her but he's gotta - the anxiety and fear in his eyes, his firm resolution after she says "save who you can save", the way he SNATCHES Ellie and walks away, Ellie fighting him tooth and nail but he knew she would, thats why he grabbed her like that.... I'm honestly just in so much awe and pain from this scene

The fear is Tess' face is so 😭😭

FUCK NO THAT ALMOST MADE ME THROW UP I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT JESUS FUCK. That was disgusting what the fuck 😭😭 don't know how to feel about watching the fucked up kiss of death like, eugh

The feeling when after failing to light the damn thing, she finally gets it, feels almost like a relief after all of that

Joel "big sad brown eyes" and Ellie "big traumatised brown eyes" will be the death of me

This is such a fucking sad ending to Tess' character but also, satisfying since she didn't die in vain

That final shot of Ellie alone with the burning state house in the background, sun beating down and a soft breeze in her hair, damn

If you make it to the end, thanks for reading! It's literally just my running thought process whilst watching!! Do you agree with some of my notes, was there anything you noticed that i didn't? Comments and reblogs welcome <3

Episode 1 thoughts:

Episode 3 thoughts:

[koicrimes]

if i were to rattle them off this would be my Lil Ugly Dude Roster:

im curious to know who people think the ugliest character in the rgg series is but mfs got one time to name aizawa because i will catch a flight on that ass

[i-sveikata]

Tbh i understand pete, the beginning of their relationship wasn't normal or easy at all so him struggling to bottom made sense to me but as you said that he thinks Vegas will get bored eventually if pete will stop challenging him, i think i get where he's coming from , i mean we do know that Vegas loved to see pete resist and fight himself and that's what pete thinks too, that this push and pull game will keep Vegas hooked somehow, but I can't wait for him to let his guards down completely because boy you dont know how Vegas loves to see you taking initiatives and letting loose and enjoying yourself ngl Vegas loves everything pete does that man is down bad I love him so yeah I cannnottt wait for both of you to go all out and fuck

Also by any luck are we getting a chapter update tomorrow? No pressure I am just curious jfhsjdj you won't believe I actually do arrange my schedule acc to the chapter on update days lmaooooo

yeah exactly!!!! like these are the walls he first put up to protect himself and it would be such a huge undertaking for him to take them down now around vegas (esp because it twinges against petes very real hang ups about letting vegas win/ getting what he wants)

yes i think its been left so long now that pete is building it up/ combining a lot of his fears into the act of bottoming in his head- like if he says yes what if vegas repeats more of the horrible things he first said to pete about him obviously wanting it when he was a prisoner, finally confirming it as true? and if vegas wants it so bad is it still that aggravating win for him if he gets it? even if pete might want to try and reexperience it in a new way too? and what if things do change and he loses his power over vegas by giving up that last thing to him? what if vegas grows bored of the pete thats fully accepting of his wants and needs? what if its not a challenge anymore once hes decided hes won? and what if more of vegas dominating side comes out again when hes topping pete? what if he takes complete control again?

like obvs these are really valid fears but a lot of its now is sort of revolving around the fact that if pete lets this get any deeper hes giving vegas the power to hurt him (not physically of course but like emotionally- which he figured out can go badly when vegas nearly died in front of him and the idea of losing him got pete in a total panic) and thats a really big deal for pete. and which hes still trying to decide is actually worth it to open himself up to- the idea of love and loss. so its really so much beyond completely relaxing his guard for vegas. its conceding to the idea of needing him. of wanting him. of being afraid of losing him too.

but yeah honestly pete has a lot of things holding him back from going further atm- no matter how many ways hes sort of passively going along with and both outright asserting himself as part of a romantic relationship with vegas. its still all so messy in his head no matter what his feelings and attraction are. so pete is afraid of being vulnerable like that again but especially about not being in control of his own body/ vegas being in control of his body and these are all things he has to work through. but yeah youre absolutely right he doesnt realise that his fears are totally unfounded and vegas is down bad for him (and is going to absolutely lose his mind when pete starts taking initiative and being even more open about his needs) and they are absolutely going to go nuts on the sex front once they finally reach that much needed equilibrium haha.

it's actually looking less likely that i'm going to post tonight unfortunately!!! the chap editing is taking a hell of a lot longer than i expected and im honestly going to just run out of time before bed (and a girly has gotta sleep) so im guessing it'll be either tomorrow or day after- depending how the editing wraps up. (also lol @ me saying i dont post on weekdays and then immediately proving myself wrong im a clown :) )

[nabaath-areng]

Nevermind the fact that I don't even know what to buy cause of course I have to be in a period again of struggling to eat anything without feeling like I'm going to throw up, because of course I can't be normal in that department either and just HAD to have a fucking eating disorder too. And haha funny how of course I have to sit here now that I finally was allowed to be awake because oh what's this? Bitch ass sleep disorder too??? Why can't I have at least one thing that's fine and normal??? Why do I have to be buried with my own body as the coffin??? Why can't it at least stay relatively stable rather than getting rapidly worse as I age???? My fucking great grandpa was healthier than me until his death at 102 and my mormor and morfar run around all fine and dandy in their 80s like their parents did well into their 90s and 100s. My punishment for being a carbon copy of my farmor whose side is where all these physical issues come from LMAOOOOO

[xstarkillerx]

I found you through one of your starkiller posts and I remembered how horny I can be for that man. Just imagine him coming back from a mission, all bruised and battered. He is so touch starved that you tending to his wounds quickly turn into something way more heated.

I found this in my drafts, lmaooooo this is from ages ago

----

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA hold on I need to take a second to breathe, because why is the thought of this making me sweat, it's so good.

I'm going to be honest though I've made multiple attempts at answering this ask, adding context, building plot (both attempts under the cut), but I really struggled with it for some reason. I realize now that, that's because all of that was in service of the singular image this put in my head, so I'm gonna cut to the chase and talk about THAT, and if you want some of the failed attempt at backstory, it'll be right there under the cut.

Now, Starkiller knows how to tune out pain, Vader made sure of it. But warmth? Delicacy? Careful, loving hands? Even if they're shaking at the sight of him in this state, it's a far cry from the cold, efficiency of med droids. He doesn't mean to, but it gets him so fucking hard.

Like, I'm sorry all I could picture his him bruised up and bloody with a gash on his thigh getting stitched up by you. And it's the WARMTH, ok the warmth of your hands that gets him first.

Droids are efficient and cold, paying no mind to his pain in pursuit of swift medical care. Your hands are careful, mindful of every bruise and stinging scrape on his body, and warm, so warm against his cold, exposed skin. He doesn't mean to but, fuck it gets him so hard to be touched like this.

His breath is quick, and shallow, not with pain, just with sheer want and shame. And it's not that you don't notice he's hard, or that his huffing and puffing above you while you work on his leg doesn't bring images of other things to mind, but maker not now Starkiller, not while he was seconds from bleeding out only half an hour ago.

You patch him as quickly as possible, but you're a pilot, not a medic, your hands are shaking seeing him in this condition. When you finish, with dry bits of his blood on your fingers, he takes your hands into his massive ones, brings them to his lips and kisses them all over. Palms, wrists, knuckles.

[trippygalaxy]

⛩️))

Chime is amazed by wild hyrule minus the annoying monsters that keep ambushed her and the chain but worse is wild is pushing himself to far and chime shift to her big wolf body to finish off the monster she had than go help the chain finish off their monsters.

Chime walk over to wild and bite the back of his neck shirt and lift him off the ground to walk over to were hyrule is so wild can be heal as wild struggles against chime. The chain watch this and some laughing to seeing wild struggles til hyrule have wild and is healing him.

Another imagine

Chain make camp some were in the woods and chime went around to collect herbs and anything else edible that the wood can provide and see a wolf with strange markings with blue eyes amd that wolf notice chime amd walk over to her as chime see this wolf and gently petting the wolf and she smell twilight scent from this wolf.

Chime: brother wolf?..that you?

Wolfie bark back to chime and chime nod to know that's him.

Chime: I'll be back..soon..went looking for-

Wild: chime!

Wolfie and chime look to see wild and ran to the two.

Wild: chime there you are, glad wolfie found you!

Chime: you mean, brother wolf wild.

Wild stop to hear the nickname she given to twilight and look only to see wolfie as wolfie watch the two yet he's trying to give a sign to wild on make a move already.

Another imagine

Chime went out to look for legend since he's been gone from the chain for nearly three hours and she find a trap but hear cursing words and tiny pink paws poking out trying to claw its out as chime look confused til she realized that the cursing words sounds like legend so she call out legend nickname.

Chime: bunny is that you?

The trap stop moving and a quiet curse word again as chime walk over and undo the trap yet stick her hands inside the trap to grab something furry and lift it up to see a pink rabbit with legend vest on.

Chime & legend:............

Chime: your so cute bunny..

Legend: no! I'm not cute!

Chime smile glad legend is okay and she held him while petting him turn around to walk back to the chain to figure out on how to turn legend back.

Another imagine

Malon met chime its quiet and malon grab chime and lift her up.

Malon: oh my goddess! Your adorable! I'm adopting you. Time you have a daughter now.

Chime is so confused ,the boys are confused. Time had to take a spit-take to his wife proclaim chime as their daughter, twilight have to save chime from malon since she didn't let go of chime for close to six hours and chime trying to ask for help.

Time: she can't be our daughter malon but she can be our daughter in law eventually-

Twilight: time stop, your not helping, your making it worse.

Malon giggle as chime trying gently to escape but malon grip that of a bear.

Chime: help please.

CHIME’s little ‘help please’ LMAOOOOO

nahhh chime, you stuck!! Good luck getting out of that hehehe! Mama Malon got arms of steel and a stubborn mind that rivals Time!

I live for ‘brother wolf’ thats so cute 😭😭😭 AND BUNNY LEGEND?! Him being so offended when Chime called him cute lol

Wild and Chime after battle cuddles?!? The sweetest thing ever

[firelord-frowny]

we’re overdue for a Violin Rant lmaooooo

YOU CAN HEAR IT!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! 

WHEN WORLD-CLASS SOLOISTS ARE PLAYING LARGE INTERVALS

YOU CAN FUCKING HEAAARRRR THEM SLAMMIING THEIR FINGERS DOWN HARD ONTO THE FINGERBOARD! 

YOU CAN HEAR IT!!! OH MY GOD!!!

STOP SAYING YOU’RE ~NOT SUPPOSED TO PRESS ALL THE WAY DOWN ON THE FINGERBOARD~!!! 

THE FACT THAT YOU ARE NOT PRESSING DOWN HARD ENOUGH IS THE REASON WHY YOU DON’T SOUND AS GOOD ASS THE PLAYERS WHO DO! 

OH!

MY!

GOD!

HILARY HAHN ANDD MARIA DUENAS AND EVERY OTHER OUTSTANDING PLAYER ISN’T GOING AROUND SLAMMING THEIR FINGERS DOWN BECAUSE IT’S ~WRONG~ YOU FUCKING NIMROD! 

THEY’RE DOING IT BECAUSE THAT IS IN FACT THE ONLY WAY TO GET THE NOTES TO SOUND THE WAY THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO SOUND! 

YOU PHYSICALLY CANNOT ACHIEVE CLEAR TRANSITIONS BETWEEN LARGE INTERVALS WITHOUT WHACKING THE FINGERBOARD! 

DON’T TELL ME THAT THEY’RE NOT DOING IT! YOU CAN FUCKING HEAR IT! YOU CAN HEEEAAAAR IT!!!

IT’S A SOFT, LOW, RESONANT “THUNK”! IT’S AN AUDIBLE PLOP! YOU CAN HEAR IT! 

I’M SO UPSET!

YOU CAN HEAR IT!!!! THEY ALL DO IT!!!!!!! THEY AAAAALLLLLL DO IT! 

THE MISCONCEPTION THAT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO IT THAT WAY IS EXACTLY THE REASON WHY SO MANY TALENTED PLAYERS FAIL TO EVER SOUND AS GOOD AS THE PLAYERS WHO ACTUALLY WIN COMPETITIONS/AUDITIONS!!! AND THEN THEY THINK THEY SOUND WORSE JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT TALENTED ENOUGH WHEN IN FACT THEY’RE JUST DOING IT WROOOOOONNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!

ok im done with all caps lmaoooo (can you believe i literallly just held down the shift key for all those letters instead of just pressing caps lock lmaooo)

anyway,

inevitably, the justification people give for insisting that it’s ~wrong~ to have firm contact between the string and the fingerboard is the claim that it causes tension, and can lead to injury.

which leads me to my NEXT all caps rant:

THE REASON WHY YOU GET TENDONITIS WHEN YOU PLAY DIFFICULT REP IS BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T BUILT UP THE ENDURANCE!!!! 

INJURIES DON’T NECESSARILY MEAN YOU’RE TECHNIQUE IS INCORRECT! 

i mean it MIGHT be incorrect, but the single overarching reason for those kinds of injuries, ESPECIALLY in the left hand, is the fact that you haven’t spent enough time conditioning yourself! 

You have to train! You have to build! The overload principal applies to violin playing exactly as much as it applies to exercise! Yes, you’re SUPPOSED to reach a little further than what’s comfortable for you. But they key words are “A LITTLE”!!! And you can’t do it every day! you have to take breaks! you have to practice proper stretching and relaxation! 

If you try to learn the opening of Tzigane without having ever practiced several weeks or months worth of slow, easy G string exercises, OF COURSE you’re going to fucking hurt yourself, dumbass. it doesn’t matter how flawless your technique is if you’re straight up not physically capable of maintaining it. that’s like a scrawny ass weakling struggling to lift a 100 pound weight and then being shocked when they pull every muscle in their body! 

i hate you! 

[nialltlynch]

i got to ask about the niall mor v's but also...jordan blue??? can we get a morsel of jordan blue??

i posted what i have of the jordan blue thing here BUT i know i posted the bullet point version of this fic somewhere on my blog ?? i just??? cant find it??? it is so silly of me to have the whole thing outlined but like not written SORRY EVERYONE maybe ill try to bust this one out..

oooOHH okay so ive given Niall and mórs whole Thing some thought since cdth over the years (lmaooooo. sad). all of them were fleshed out and written way before greywaren so they have the added bonus of being non canon compliant too!!!

v1 was a strange half epistolary, half found footage type thing which was fun to do as a format but ultimately i decided to not use since i had no idea what i really though of niall and mór. v2 was an extended imagining of one of their later meetings in life and it's where i got a feel for the type of dynamic i felt they had (still super janky). and v3 looks A LOT like (current and active wip) v4 which is a brief (re: 17k words and counting) overview of their entire relationship in a way that is very cool to me personally and also has nothing whatsoever to do with greywaren SO. yeah. ive cannibalized and restructured quite a bit from the earlier versions so it's hard to pick out stuff that probably hasn't been reused but i tried !!!

the wip fridge: the post

v1

This appears to be the final letter.

The question of who is of most interest to us.  A bit of digging reveals that there once lived a Niall Lynch in Washington DC who was murdered in the Singer's Falls area around the time when we believe this final letter to have been written.  Furthermore, his body was found near to the place where the original burned house is located.  There are no photos of Niall as he appeared to live a life generally under the radar.

The house itself sits on a relatively hidden plot of land that had been assumed abandoned.  Legal records show that it had changed a few hands back in the 1800s but those families either did not survive this long or they appear to have moved out of the area.  Legally, it has been without owner or resident since at least the 1930s.  

The few details we have been able to cobble together make for a strangely compelling case that perhaps Niall Lynch is the same Niall who penned half of these letters.  Per immigration reports, Niall came to the United States in the early-mid 1990s from Ireland which lines up with the proposed timeline in the letters.  Niall struggled to raise three sons in Washington DC.  The family appeared to sustain themselves completely on odd jobs done under the table.  It is assumed the boys' mother died early in life and not much is known besides the indication of an "A. Lynch" in reference to the mother on the boys' birth records.

We interviewed a few of the folks in Singer's Falls and the only knowledge they had of Niall Lynch was that he had been murdered there.  No one knew him before then.  Local police records show a thin investigation for his murder, which unfortunately is not uncommon for the area.  What then was Niall doing in western Virginia when it seemed most of his life revolved around Washington DC?

Records show that the three Lynch Brothers (Declan, Ronan, and Matthew) were attending Aglionby Academy, a prestigious all-boys preparatory academy in Henrietta, Virginia, which is just a hop, skip, and a jump from Singer's Falls.  When reached for comment, Declan Lynch summarized that he had been born and raised in Washington DC and his only brief stint in western Virginia was when he attended Aglionby Academy.  He described his high school experience as "easily some of the years of [his] youth."  When questioned about the burned house and if he or his father knew anyone in Singer's Falls, Declan came up with nothing.  We showed Declan some of the letters and sketches and he seemed genuinely very surprised.  He guessed that whatever had happened was something that happened to far more interesting people.

"I do love a good mystery," he told us.

For the past couple years, Declan has lived and worked in Boston as a notable art critic and curator.  He and longtime girlfriend Jordan Hennessy are celebrating the opening of their first gallery in the summer.

Ronan and Matthew Lynch were unable to be reached for comment.

If the evidence for Niall Lynch is anemic at best, any clue to the identity of Mór Ó Corra is like chasing a ghost.  It's clear from the letter that Mór Ó Corra, is a chosen name and no references or mentions of her legal name are ever made in the letters.  Scouring historical records and those noted to be in contact with Niall Lynch turn up no mention or indication of any such character.  The references made in her letters to the supposed society she joined here in the United States do not lead to anywhere of note.  Select portion of her letters and available sketches have been sent to databases ranging from criminal to amateur to art historians alike.  To our knowledge, no hits have been made yet.  We had hoped that perhaps being knowledgeable about art, Declan Lynch would have been able to shed some light on her identity.  However, when he viewed the sketches he came up with nothing.  He did praise her technique and warm use of gesturing.

v2

Niall Lynch spits blood and bourbon on the stoop of the bar as he's so kindly escorted out.  He curses them, too, but the words splash against the door and dissipate in the humidity, thick and hungry and alive.  Even the sky up above is rolling and nauseated as though it feels as tipsy as Niall.  There's grace in good company, Niall thinks.  At least there are no witnesses to this low point.

What a mess this all is.

They had made him say her name.  Mór Ó Corra.  He rasped it and the consonants cut a line from the soft places in his gut and all up his throat.  Vowels seeped from his saliva like poison.  There was a pause on the other end, long enough for Niall to rethink things a thousand times over, and then simply the name of a bar and the line going dead.  

He came here to find her.  He came here to forget.

In the end, it doesn't matter anyway because she didn't show up.

There's a row of measly potted flowers hugging the weathered stone exterior of the bar.  They're a little dry, barely enthused to be alive, cracks all along their pots.  But the sound, oh how delightful it is when they crash and shatter on the concrete.  Petal flatten under his boots, fluttering to the dirt as he draws his foot up to stomp someplace else.  There's a window smudged with years and too old, too timid now to reflect anything.  He should break it.

"Yes, I can see you've definitely matured."

Niall blinks, the world tilts just so, and where there had been nothing now there is Mór.  The years between the Mór he had last beheld, both with his eyes and his hands, and this Mór now in front of him are distinct, jarring.  She is lovely.

"Cunt," he calls her.  His instincts flinch in muscle memory but the wave of regret never follows.

What does follow is a moment of silence.  Niall is afraid to look away, to possibly lose her as though she is only here because he longs for her to be here.  The sick clouds above rumble and spark in the distance.  A smattering of rain tentatively falls and it's the wet spots budding on her skin, on the fabric of her shirt, that makes Niall believe this moment is real.

"You used to write me sonnets.  Is that all?" she asks, already exasperated with him.  He can feel the joy already beginning to turn his stomach.

"I'm all out of words for you, woman."

"Good to know you've stopped lying to my face.  The other side of the leaf is greener and you, my steadfast and true beloved, are proof of that.  What have you done with him?"

"He doesn't know," he says truthfully.  Mór makes a face like she doesn't believe him.  Niall has missed that little pout in her lip.  Her eyes rove  the ground but they don't find anything and Niall laughs, gesturing at eye level.  "He's about here now."

"Disgusting.  Why would you let that happen?"

aaaaaaaand i actually have nothing to post for v3 since it's essentially draft 1 for the current iteration. hopefully (HOPEFULLY) ill be posting the fic soon !!! goal is before the end of the year lmao

[yncoreee]

NARINARINARII HAI guess whos bacckkk

pray that i wont disappear again bc this is like the 3rd time alr

I NEED TO TOUCH MY DRAFTS FUK

ANYWAYS the typical question hows ur life doing bc mines meh as alw

WELL I HAD THIS DREAM and i was going to this fancy big ass mc donalds apparently and the menus were in like this glass wall and I COULDNT FIND THE MENU I WANTED I WAS STRUGGLING TF?? but then I lined up bUT THEN THIS LINE WAS LONG AF and when I was abt to place my order an elderly old woman pulled me back and said that the line was longer and apparently it wasn't my turn yet 😑 but then when it was FINALLY my turn I thought I was broke but I checked my wallet and IT WAS STUFFED so I was gonna place my order and pay but then I fkn woke up.

THE END

"dreams have meanings" my dreams:

HIIIII CESSY!!!!! Omg you’ve been gone for a while 😭 hopefully you don’t disappear

Mines also meh…. Having the biggest writers block now I fear, thinking of giving myself a few days so writing doesn’t seem to stressful to me and I don’t rush most works

Your dreams so funny Lmaooooo

Ughhh it’s so annoying when the dream gets too good then that’s the moment you wake up like cmon’ it’s like the body is programmed to wake up when the dream gets tew good TT

Fr dreams are so weird 😭

[mangoposts]

one night we all went out to eat and my step dad got this pasta with shrimp in it. he got a box to put the leftovers in. a couple days later he takes it out of the fridge and my oldest brother who is ALLERGIC TO SEAFOOD decided to try it. if any seafood like shrimp is cooked with the dish, he can’t have it even if they ate all of the shrimp. he had a couple noodles and was fine. since he was fine, he decided to eat more. like ten minutes later he’s talking about how his nose and ears were itchy and his throat was closing up. you know that sound most, if not all, dads make when they’re trying to get mucus out of their throat? like the BLEEEEEGGGCCCCCHHHHHHH kind of sound LMFAO. it’s kind of similar to a cat hissing x10000000000000000. anyway, he was making that sound constantly and i was laughing SO hard. i was deadass struggling to breathe due to how hard i was laughing. even my brother who was STRUGGLING was laughing at himself. when he’d stop speaking id make the noise he was doing and it would instantly make him do it LMAOOOOO. he was like “i’m just going to get ready for a shower and see if the hot water and steam makes my feel any better.” as he was getting his stuff together for his shower, he wanted to put this army pin he got on his new hat. he wasn’t making the weird throat clear noise as much either. so he put the pin on the hat and was looking at himself in the mirror and asked if it looked good. i said “yeah, it looks good BLEEEEGGGCHHHHH” and he instantly started making the sound again LMFAOOOOOOO. what made it even funnier though is when i did that, he was doing a smolder type face while making that crazy ass noise. i laughed so hard i literally leaned back and slid down the wall because i couldn’t hold my body up. then while laughing he said “you just laugh at other peoples pain.” LMAO. and the thing is, he isn’t wrong either😭 like if someone’s genuinely hurt i’m not going to laugh. but if you stub your toe or something ill laugh at you. or if you bust your ass but you’re not hurt, i’m gonna laugh. it all depends on peoples expressions and the noises they make. i laugh at myself when i’m in pain too though depending on what it is. like a few years ago my dog ran full speed into my knee and i fell straight into the ground face first. she sprained my knee, tore a ligament, and almost tore my acl, and i was on the ground dying of laughter LMAOOOO

-🌸

Bro id be concerned asf like why is he eating that😭 I could tell this laugh added 10 years onto your lifespan tho i love it 😭😭😭😭

[prjctjenova]

reached out 2 my therapist to make an appointment before i'm due bc i hate myself lmaooooo

i hate my body and i hate being in it and it's so uncomfortable sometimes and i'm spending so much time with family at the moment bc weddings and i always seem to have a core memory moment and then something triggers a whole lot of nonsense and i'm back to square one lmfao

struggling v much with change and it's so frustrating bc whenever i actually open up and try to talk to people about it i just get some bullshit along the lines of "well that's life!" like yeah i fkn KNOW bitch i am struggling with it????????????????????????????? like it makes me feel like an idiot and that my struggles aren't valid and a lot of things that happened when i was younger family wise that i thought i was old enough to deal with are now coming up and surprise i probs wasn't actually old enough to deal with it lmao and people keep saying little things to me i KNOW aren't aimed or meant the way i've taken it but my brain is immediately like hey girlie you suck ASS and they hate you x

i want to scream so so so so so so loud tbh who down xxxxxxx

[linafication]

chubby girls? girls with stretch marks? girls with cellulite? girls with flat chests? girls with no curves? astonishingly beautiful.

chubby boys? boys with stretch marks? boys with cellulite? boys with large chests? curvy boys? incredibly handsome.

chubby nonbinary people? nonbinary people with stretch marks? nonbinary people with cellulite? nonbinary people with flat chests? nonbinary people with large chests? curvy nonbinary people? nonbinary people with no curves? absolutely stunning.

[bakatenshii]

the nails are looking SOOOO good hehe but like how do you learn to type with long ass nails.... i tried to get them once and 3 days after i took them out cause i couldnt even like open my phone

omfaialap ok so I’ve started growing out my nails and doing them since I was 13, slowly getting them longer and longer until I got shellac on natural nails from a salon for the first time when I was 16, and it kinda just progressed there on HAHAHA when I moved out for uni I found a nailtech I love and she’s been doing mine for 4ish yrs now? lit just tests out new styles and designs on me so anyways thats how theyre the length and shape they are now !!

I can totally imagine how difficult it would be to get used to no nails to extensions tho omg im so sorry you had to struggle ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

BUT THANK U SO MUCH THEY R MY PRIDE N JOY !! <333