#GET UR NAILS BABY YOULL GET USED TO THEM

[theuniverseawakens347]

That’s weird- khloe kar voice from that one lady meme, Peter nails keyboard … ( haaay)

My thing is t.hooww… YA GOT PEENCHOP HOle

Ur a man in a woman’s body … WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MY VAGINA LIPS.

BITCH EXCUSE ME NIGGA.. THEY BIG ( not even) JUICY AND WE GETS .. NATURAL LUBRICATION. TMI BUT YOU TALKING ABOUT A BITCH COOCHIE ( NOT HOW I AM AGAIN YA DONT KNOW THE BACK STORY ON INDIA STALKING ME AND OTHER GIRLS WHO LOOK LIKE US AND ALEXIS AND USING SOMEONE ELSE NAME TO GET IN TROUBLE.. but claim a child of god .. and if ur not claiming male STOP ACTING LIKE IT DOMINATING AND DERATING WOMEN.. ya see me in my boxers n crop top AFTER WORKING OUT OR DOING A ARTFUL TASTEFUL NO FUCK ME BUT APPRECIATE ME PHOTOSHOOT.. NOT TWERKING FOR NO DAMN REASON ITS SHOWING YOU HAVE UNHEALED MOLESTATION TRAUMA AND OR RAPED SOMEONE OR GOT RAPED AND AINT TELL… ) YOU AINT NEVER SEEN.. THATS weird. PSYCHWARD. LAPD AND SHES PUTTING ME ON BLAST TO OTHER MEN and WOMEN INDIA LOVE … “you started it first Crystal” … UM THATS NOT THE POINT. YOUR LYING TO SLEEP W STRAIGHT* MEN WHO HAVE THE FULL PENIS AND PREFER A REAL VAGINA OR AT LEAST A CONVO - PANSEXUALS STILL NEED TO KNOW FOR AUTONOMY REASONS AND BABY MAKING REASONS… ALL AROUND GENITALS

2. IM HAPPY YOU GOT BOOTY ON YOUR WEIGHT JOURNEY BITCH IM SMALL TWO I KNOW THE CONFIDENCE BOOST FEELING BUT THE ISSUE AND DIFFERENCE IS

WHEN YOURE HAPPY WHOLE AND NOT HIDING BS OF ANY SIN UR NOT SNEAK DISSING THE NEXT PERSONS WORK .. BC YOU KNOW WHAT THAT HARD WORK DID BUILT CONFIDENCE ( then ya cut corners when you get the ego boost for ur self and start attacking other women.. DIFFERENCE BTWN INDIA AND TIARA USING ME IS IM TELLING YOU WTF YOU ACTUALLY FEEL BOUT YA SELF BUT DONT PUT IN WORDS SO YA DO DUMB ACTIONS and you still wana try me tiara .. YOU STALKED ME MISTER IM BETTER THAN THIS TRASH FEMALE .. A fucking bear .. DRINK SOME ESTROGEN .. even out ya phone levels ( don’t actually fucking do that.. but it look like ya do that weirdo shit ) .. YA TALK ABOUT BEING BULLY BUT LEAVE OUT YOU DOING THE BULLYING ..

AGAIN A BITCH CAN RELATE TO BEING BULLIED. I WAS ALWAYS BULLIED FIRST AND WHEN I BITE BACK ITS AN ISSUE. EVELYN YA PLAY STUPID WTF WERE YOU DOING BEHIND THE SENCE AT IMMAC W MISS RUCKER FOR FUCKING ME OVER AT WEST HOLLYWOOD CAMP AS KIDS .. JULINANA WHY ARE YOU HERE I DONT EVEN FOLLOW YOU. BITCH.

Sneak diss era getting dissed BY THE CREATOR REFLECTING UR NASTY ASS INSIDE ATTITUDE WHAT YOU CALL CUTE .. and ya hurt.

I TALK ABOUT MYSELF W SELF ESTEEM AND GLOW HARDER WHEN SOMEONE WHOS HATING ON ME I DONT KNOW THINK THEY ME OR LOOK LIKE ME.

IM MEAN WHEN ITS WARRENT THE WAY YOU BITCHES TREATED CASHAY WALLACE IS SO FUCKING WEIRD AND FOUL .. - A PERSON IN THEY OWN LANE MINDING THEY OWN GARDEN TAMING THEIR OWN TOOLS ..

Ya don’t think it’s weird ur in competition with someone YOUVE NEVER MET!?? NO BC UR NOT CHECKING THE BACKSTORY IN FULL WHYBIS INDIA ACTING LIKE A VICTIM WITH ME I DONT KNOW … “she’s god I can’t comprehend that part … THEN HEAL THRU THE MORTAL YOU CAN UNDERSTAND .. stop TRYING TO JUMP TO THE END ALREADY .. ya go in circles every fucking day to anyone ur saying sorry too but still on the backend sneak dissing bc they can’t read you like me.. YA DONT CARE ABOUT MAKING RIGHT W THEM AO YOULL MENTALLY BE TORTURED ALL AROUND ) okay t.hooww ya got issues in that video of the bear I posted .. MORTAL ME I DONT GIVE A FUCK YOURE A BITCH YOU DID DUMB SHIT FIX IT YOURE A TRAINER AN ENVIRONEMT WHERE PPL HEAL THEIR SELF EATEEM AND YOURE TO THE CAMERA PLAYING SWEET BUT ONLINE DRINKING AND LEAVING HATE COMMENTS .. WHY YOU DONT ACTUALLY GET CLIENTS. OR RETENTION. FAILED BUSINESS ON THE OUTSIDE INSIDE AND THE Establishment WHEN YA STEP INTO THE GYM. .. YOU USED MY FUCKING FITNESS GUIDE TO TRAIN KEITH* .. - fit kingg AND WVELYN MAZARAGOES STEALING FROM MY BODY BUILDING COACH YOU WEIRD FUCKING BITCH. UR ALL FUCKING WEIRD AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO TF IM TALKING ABOUT YOU YUNG BITCHES THINKING YOU BOUT TO ATOMP OUT THE ELDERS W YA BOTCHED BODIES TF THINKING IS THAT… and kmochell tf you doing!?? YA OLD HEADS GOING TO WAR W THE YOUNGINGS CAUSE YOU CANT FIND HEALING IN THE PARTS OF YOURSELF YOU FUCKING HATE ya let someone else get to you.. YOU SEE IT IN ME GOOD N BAD ITS ALSO IN YOU.. but those who see this as reprehending HAY BITCHES // QUEENS WE LOVE IT.. KHLOE 💋💋 … the others U DROWN IN PAIN AND WANA DIE WHY TF WOULD GOD ALLOW YOU INTO THE KINGDOM OF HAPPINESS!? - HEAVEN. !! Ur parent or someone spoiled you and didn’t tell you no… - that weird.

YALL STALKING ME THANKS TO INDIA LOVE .. MYSELF POP OUT ON THE SCENE ASKING WTF AND CLAIMING MY DESTINY AND NOW YA WANA TALK ABOUT MY BODY PARTS IN DEPTH .. that’s weird.

UR SUPPOSED TO BE HEALING “I’m committed to the journey I found confidence in working out”

CLEARLY NOT WHAT YA CHEATING YOURSELF LEGIT RESULTS .. ya so “let me do the most as woman bc I’m angry I got a dick cut or clit micro peen chopped n now I’m fucking but not getting wet … what can I do to keep a man .. they like ass they like twerking .. I like fitness cause my hormones out of wack n I get to compete with my real self .. A MAN” …

But ur mad at god “why you make me this way” .. ASK SATAN MEDICAL TEAM WHY THEY DID THE MOST FOR IVF INCUE BOTCHED** BABIES.

Creator over seen “ THAT ONES GOING TO BE A SHIT HEAD EITHER FUCKING WAY LET IT HAPPEN TO THEM AND LET THEM WORK ON THEIR ISSUES WHERE THEY CHEAT AND CUT CORNERS”

[bakatenshii]

the nails are looking SOOOO good hehe but like how do you learn to type with long ass nails.... i tried to get them once and 3 days after i took them out cause i couldnt even like open my phone

omfaialap ok so I’ve started growing out my nails and doing them since I was 13, slowly getting them longer and longer until I got shellac on natural nails from a salon for the first time when I was 16, and it kinda just progressed there on HAHAHA when I moved out for uni I found a nailtech I love and she’s been doing mine for 4ish yrs now? lit just tests out new styles and designs on me so anyways thats how theyre the length and shape they are now !!

I can totally imagine how difficult it would be to get used to no nails to extensions tho omg im so sorry you had to struggle ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

BUT THANK U SO MUCH THEY R MY PRIDE N JOY !! <333

[leviathiane]

I just started hollow knight, any tips??? it looks delightful but I'm struggling, just a bit :')

I can indeed Fresh Baby Bug Gamer!!! welcome to The Underground!!

Firstly, don't Absently pick up geo. Farm for it. be Greedy. Get all you can, because the stuff you buy at the surface shops will be immensely helpful (ie the quill, maps, some cheap charms, the LANTERN,) But ALSO, do not HOARD geo. get it and then spend it ASAP, because early players often end up losing all of it when they die, especially if they die in an area hard to get back to. i always spent my geo when i hit around 500-1000 until I was confident I could carry it. Immediate buys should always be the mapping equipment, and Stag Stations. Unlock them. It’s worth it. It really is. Even later on when I had all route memorized I always unlocked them. it makes things much faster and more convenient for travel. same with elevators!

Secondly, you'll need that cash to get nail upgrades, which you should do asap. the stronger your nail, the easier fighting will be. The confidence in ur own strength will also be a nice get!!!

In terms of combat against bosses, go ahead and straight up sacrifice your first few gos. Spend that time not trying to even hit them, but learning their attack patterns and practicing dodging. On a similar note, practice all the directional swings-- I had a Lot of trouble with downswing pogos when I first started. You'll be using those constantly, both in platforming and battle, so the more familiar your hands are with the movement the less youll panic in the moment. Hell, watch people fight the boss before fighting yourself, if the anxiety gets to you too much.

Keep aware of little details in the environment! Theres bits and treasures hidden everywhere, even in the starting areas. I played the game to death and still found a new cranny with a soul totem in the transition area between the crossroads and fungal wastes.

Also, don't worry so much about spells at first. It took me a while to balance out using both of them at once, and how to intersperse movement and battles evenly with them-- its perfectly fine to lean more on the nail until you get the hang of it.

That's most of the immediate tips I can think of that would have been nice to know immediately... but keep in mind that I am not what people would call A Seasoned Gamer even tho i did indeed play the game (only havent done pantheon of the sage and up, bc i Suck) and some of these tips, like the money saving, are optional for certain routes. The glory of Hollow knight is that there isn't that much of a true set path. Just keep on walking, and you'll always end up somewhere new. Even if you don't have the necessary progression tools, there's still loopholes to explore.

Have fun!!!

[strawnarrries]

mmmm maybe something like with being home with Niall and the quarantine but he’s so grumpy all the time bc of the stress so you try to help him relax and try to get him to just lay down with you for a nap or something like that, I don’t know if that makes sense lol

i switched it up a little and i made this take place a litttttlee bit in the past and more towards the beginning of quarantine just to add more details and stuff hope you enjoy it! //

it was the beginning of april and almost one month into quarantine when things started to get tense in the horan household. niall hasn’t been in the best mood all week. he had just now announced to the world the cancelling of his world tour and he was absolutely crushed. he was looking forward to this tour and was so excited to go perform around the world and meet a bunch of his fans but it all went down the drain because of covid. 

he also feels like he’s let his fans down and he hates disappointing them. and no matter how many times you tell him that it wasn’t his fault and that he couldn’t help what happened and that all of his fans 100% understand bc right now its the law. you’re legally not allowed to be in big groups of people, so def not a full arena. but he’s still bummed out about the entire situation and feels awful that he had to cancel his tour so he’s been a bit grumpy and sad lately. 

“niall, cmere” you hummed as you watched him scroll through the comments on his instagram under the post about his tour cancellation - 98% of the comments were positive, but there were the occasional upset comments.

he sighed audibly and turned his phone off, tossing it to the other side of the long couch that you both sat on. you scooted closer to him and wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into your embrace. his head laid perfectly on your chest as he cuddled into your side. you began to run your fingers through his long brunette locks, twirling the tips, “why don’t you come lay down and take a nap with me for bit to get your mind off things?” 

he didn’t answer, only nuzzling into the warmness of your body even more, “baby i tell u this all the time but you know its not your fault. theres nothing you couldve done about it. everything is getting cancelled so everyone understands that you have to cancel ur tour. every other celebrity has to cancel their tours too, its okay”

“i know i was just so excited and was really looking forward to this tour” 

“i know you were, I was too. but youll get to tour this album, just not right now” 

“yeah, youre right, theres people out there dyin’ and im complainin’ about me tour” he giggled softly at him 

“oh, no youre fine. its okay to be upset, id be concerned if you weren’t upset” you giggled back and he chuckled at your silly comment. 

there was a short pause of silence, the only noise filling the room being your nails scratching his scalp before you spoke up again, “if ya dont wanna nap we can go outside and sit on the back porch and talk. its a really pretty day. we can just go out there and relax in the sun?” 

he nodded and sat up, fluffing his growing hair.

“sit on the porch?” you asked, doubling checking that that is what he was nodding too

“yeah” he hummed

“i can make some snacks for us too if ya want” 

“yer the best. i love ya so much” he smiled at you

he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, moving them in sync for a couple sweet kisses, “I love you too. now go get comfy outside and ill be out in a sec” 

SEND IN BLURB REQUESTS

[twentytwoyearoldchild]

The First Post

To be honest, I’m not expecting anybody to read these or actually find them, or even care. 

This is for me. Be it for the sake of journaling, therapy, word vomit, whatever. 

An opportunity to let go. 

I guess I’ll start from the top

Shit’s been weird as fuck; as it has been for a lot of people. It was my last day of uni forever the day we shut down for the first covid quarantine, my apartment lease was up in a few months, and I didn’t have a job anymore. I was fortunate enough to have extended family in the area with whom I could move in with after my lease was up. Fast forward a few months and I’m home again. 

I really thought I had overcome a lot of shit I was dealing with when I moved out after high school. I had a routine, it wasn’t always healthy but it got me through. But damn has it hit hard since I’ve been back at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, they’re good parents; they’ve grown a lot since I’ve been away. But there’s always something that doesn’t change. Or, it’s evolved in a weird way that’s not as bad but still like an “are you kidding me,” type of vibe. 

I can’t believe I’m still being so fucking vague, like no matter how hard I try I can’t just say it, fuck I cant even type it. 

How do I even streamline everything in my head. I’ve never thought about how I feel cause it makes me mad, and I don’t like being angry. I don’t like how it makes me feel. 

Why the fuck I have so many issues coming from a family that wasn’t terrible, just had it’s little quirks, beats me. 

My mom, I love her to bits, she works her ass off for us and I am eternally grateful for that. Our relationship hasn’t always been good, it only really improved until after I turned 19. We used to fight a lot. But not in the fist fighting sense. It was mostly me doing things she didn’t want me doing but I did any way so she just yelled at me all the time. She used to hit me and my siblings when we were kids. She never beat us until we turned blue, and it didn’t make her a bad mom when she would tell me to grab her heels instead of a belt. 

I have never talked about this memory, thought about this memory, it is one I like to keep locked away. I must have been 8, we had just recently moved the year before. I remember running upstairs, my mom was chasing me, yelling at me. Saying she was gonna beat me until I bled. I remember being cornered, screaming, crying, looking up at her, and that’s all I remember. That’s where the memory ends. My memories don’t pick up again until I was about 11 years old. 

I used to hate her for it, but I know now that she was just coping with her anger the only way she knew how, and I don’t blame her for it. It was normal for her, it was normal for us. 

Wow I feel like I went off track, but hey there’s your not so tragic backstory, just a kid with a mom who had anger issues sometimes. UGH man I hate talking about this. Cause I know it could have been worse. I think that’s one of the reasons I have never talked about it, wrote about it, or anything, is cause it could have been worse. What point is there in telling someone if it doesn’t change anything. Like why the fuck am I so altered by a childhood that wasn’t even that bad. 

Anyway

Because of that we used to fight a lot. 

My mom is your typical girly girl, does her nails, and im not gonna lie she is very pretty. She takes good care of herself. 

I am very much the opposite. I got into alt-rock at an early age and fell in love with being all angsty. I cut my hair off, wore baggy band tees, black skinny jeans, and topped it off with my huge ass DC sneakers. I pierced my own ears a few times, pierced my friends ears. I tried piercing my LIP when I was 10, the needle only went in half way. That shit still makes me laugh. 

Basically, I looked like a little emo boy and I liked it. I liked the way people would avoid looking into my eyes, or would look away quickly, or called me sir. I think I liked it so much only because my mom hated it. 

She used to be very... vain? I mean low key still is, but whatever. Right about 10 years old is when I remember my mom making comments about my weight. I did sports in school, but it was never enough to stop my mom from telling me I was too heavy, or that I wasn’t sucking in my stomach enough. There were other things going on at home that I think snowballed it but that’s for another time.

I’ve never called it an eating disorder but I guess that’s what it was. What it is. It wasn’t debilitating, I never got underweight, I looked normal and healthy. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I stopped eating, I tried puking, I started binging. Not enough to cause attention, just enough to feel in control because I didn’t know how else to deal with everything going on. 

After I moved out, I thought I had moved past it. I really thought I was doing something, and getting buff, that was the goal: get ripped as fuck. I was going to the gym 6 days a week, for an hour or two, lifting weights. But I wasn’t eating. I had no idea I wasn’t eating, I was just busy. Always busy. 

I didn’t realize how much it affected me until last year. An acquaintance of mine asked me if I was “ok” because I was looking “really thin”. Never in my Life had I heard those words directed at me, ever. That shook me So Hard. 

I don’t want this to be a dunk on my mom, I love her so much, and she’s grown so much as a person and as a mother. I’ve forgiven her. Which is why this shit makes me so mad ‘cause it’s like, “I’ve forgiven her but why can’t I make it stop,”

TLDR;

Okay All of this to say: Im back home 

quarantine has definitely fucked up my weight, as it has for many others. but now being back at home with my mom telling me everyday 

wow ur getting fat

if u dont exercise youll get fat

I see your double chin you need to loose weight. 

like WHY is it fucking me up. why is my parents fighting and ignoring each other again still fucking me up. Why cant i sit down tune that shit out and just fucking work like i need to. Why cant i fucking eat. why is it so hard to just say “i need help but i dont know how”

It’s been a week and I have totally ignored everyone that’s been reaching out to me.

Why do I feel so guilty.

Man, I feel like such a whiny bitch baby. 

[jungshookz]

You know what would be great???? Culinary student! Jin and a hopeless y/n who eats ramen out of coffee pots and eats cool whip straight out of the can. Also ily and I hope you know that

→ pairing: kim seokjin x reader

→ genre: what a surprise it’s bratty!y/n, culinarystudent!jin and his fancy pasta, humour, a touch of nsfw because i’m obsessed with jin’s broAd shoulders it’s almost ridiculous

→ wordcount: 3.4k

→ note: i hope i did ur request justice also i love u more :~)))

(gif isn’t mine!) ((also i was going to use a gif of him actually cooking but tumblr refusEd to accept it so i’m sorry)) 

listen

being completely honest

jin thinks you’re really cute

like SUPER cute

like he’s really REALLy frickin attracted to you because you’re just so??? yOU and somehow it works and it gets his gears GRINDING okay

you were the one who moved in right next door and you greeted him with a friendly smile and a ‘here, i baked cookies!’ and of course he accepted the cookie because he’s not a complete monster

but good GOD

that cookie was awful

and to be fair he’s a culinary student so it makes sense that he has high standards but even a fOOL would know that your cookies were god-awful

before you got the chance to distribute your nasty cookies out to the rest of the people on your floor jin was like hEY hEY how about you give me.,.,,. all of your cookies,.,.. because i,.,. really like them.,.,., and.,., i want to eat.,.,. all of them.,., thank u., yes,.

anyways

you’ve known each other for almost eight months?

and nothing has happened because let’s be real

you’re both wussies

and no one’s admitting anything to anyone so you’re kind of in this flirty-friendly space and you’re both FULLY aware that there’s like.,.,. a sprinkle of flirting going on.,,

but you know what

that’s beside the point

he doesn’t even know why he’s thinking about his undeniable crusH on you

because right now all jin can focus on is the fact that you’re eating ramen out of a coffee pot

let him repeat himself

you’re eating ramen

out of a

a COFFEE pot

you’re in the middle of rambling to him about your day and he’s trying to pay attention to what you’re saying but he wants to scream every time to pause to sluRP out of the coffee pot

laundry room gossip is a pretty normal thing for you two

you’re both so busy during the day

you with your classes and jin with his culinary classes

so once or twice a week you’ll both coordinate a time to come down and do your laundry together (you guys usually shove all your clothes in together because u end up saving some $$ too) and you’ll both end up sitting there for a couple hours just talking to each other while waiting for your clothes

jin raises a brow before pressing his lips together

his mother raised him not to be judgemental but COME ON

RAMEN

out of a COFEE POT??????

out of all the things he’s seen you done this has to be the absolute worst

here are a couple of examples as to what monstrosities you’ve exposed him to:

a cold pizza sandwich (two slices of cold pizza with a drizzle of ranch and crunched up cheetos as the filling)

cereal eaten out of the baG ITSELF (u poured the milk in and everything)

chicken pancakes?? aka shredded deep fried chicken and shredded cheese mixed inTO pancake batter and panfried and then topped with a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkle of green onions

one time you made scrambled eggs in a mug and dat shit looked nasty

but this

this doesn’t even make sense

disrespecting what looks like a pretty high-quality coffee pot (he remembers you got it for christmas or something) by using it as a holder for $1 ramen

it’s probably going to stink up the coffee pot and every time you make coffee it’s always going to have that faint aftertaste of chicken broth

a shudder goes down his spine and he winces

you perk up when the drying machine suddenly beeps and stops rumbling “god finaLLy”

jin keeps his eyes glued on the damn coffee pot as you set it down next to your basket and go to retrieve your freshly-dried clothes

you bend down and pop open the dryer and the loud hiss makes jin look over

“jin?” he glances away quickly and looks up at the ceiling as a poor attempt to conceal the fact that he was totally just checking u out just now

“hm, what?” he clears his throat

“aren’t you going to come and get your clothes?”

“oh, right.” jin pushes himself up off the ground and grabs his basket

he props it up on his hip and starts picking out his clothes from the pile

“hey, these are cute.” jin can’t help but smirk as he twirls a burgundy thong around his finger

your cheeks flame up immediately

“cut it out, you perv” you scowl playfully and grab it from him quickly

the little voice in the back of your mind can’t help but wonder if perhaps jin would be interested in seeing you wear the thong

it comes with a matching bralette

hm

“ya-“ jin pokes your arm and you look over at him “was that your dinner?” he points to the coffee pot and you glance over at it “didn’t you have ramen yesterday?”

“…yeah. instant ramen has been my dinner every day for the past week. why?” you hum nonchalantly and continue picking through the pile

you help jin out and toss one of his white t-shirts into his basket

jin can’t help but let his jaw drop

you’ve been eating processed garBAGe for the past weEK

how???????????

“it’s never enough for me tho so i usually eat a bag of chips too. i might have a frozen mac n’ cheese thingy in the freezer so that’s an option too.” you gasp excitedly “ooh i can crumble the chips over the mac n’ chee-“

“oh my god.” all of a sudden jin reaches over and puShes the rest of the clothes into his basket before grabbing your wrist and dragging you towards the door

“hey, we haven’t finished sorting out the-“

“we’ll do it later i just need to get some actual foOD into your system before all the MSG and sodium starts breakING down your internal organs”

as he’s dragging you up the stairs (the elevator is broken again what a surprise) you can’t help but admire how b r o a d his shoulders are

the cotton shirt he’s wearing is kinda thin and u swear u can see his back muscles flexing slightly

you can’t help but wonder what it’d feel like

running your hands all along his back

digging your nails into his shoulders as he,.,,., y’know

wrapping your legs around his tapered waist as he.,,.,.,. y’knOW

s i g h

you purposely pull back a little so jin slows down and gives u more time to ogle him

are you a pervert for doing that

you might be

“let me see what’s in your fridge so i can work my magic”

he’s never actually been in your apartment before

well

he’s never had a reaSon to

(you always wanna invite him in to watch a movie or something but u get shy and shrivel up immediately)

he has a good idea of the layout because his place is exactly the same as yours

he’s not surprised to see that your place is relatively neat and organised besides a couple scattered markers on the coffee table and a throw blanket tossed haphazardly over the couch

there’s a candle burning away in the middle of the coffee table that makes your place smell like warm vanilla

but then

he enters the war zone

the kitchen

oh my god

this is a living nightmare

this is HIS living nightmare

there’s just

he sees all the takeout boxes in the bin and the pizza box sitting on your kitchen island and the- well that must’ve been your breakfast or something because you sprinkled cinnamon toast crunch on a bagel smeared with waY too much cream cheese

“oh hey i forgot about this” a piece of jin’s soul dies and floats up to heaven when you pop the rest of your cinnamon-cream-cheese-bagel monstrosity into your mouth and chew thoughtfully

why does he like you

“ah, i probably should’ve offered you a bite… i’ll make one for you tomorrow if you want!”

whY DOES HE LIKE U

“i’m… good. i think i’m more than good.” he shudders before nudging past you heading to your fridge “lemme see what we’re working with here…”

“you know you really don’t have to make anything for me. i told you i had a frozen mac and cheese…” you’re rambling and jin is most certainly not paying attention to you mainly because he’s shocked becAUSE you have like NOTHING in your fridge

a bottle of three-cheese ranch

a couple oranges, an avocado, and one red apple

a half-eaten sandwich?? it looks like turkey and a shitload of mayo

a takeout box with…,,. three pieces of orange chicken and a piece of broccoli that you’ve taken a bite out of

a baby carton of chocolate milk and a regular sized carton of milk

and a can of cool whip

unless he makes an orange-chicken-turkey-avocado sandwich with ranch on the side accompanied with a glass of chocolate milk with a dollop of whipped cream on top there’s not a lot he can do here

is thiS how you live

“you know what, maybe you should just come over to my place!” jin closes the fridge and clasps his hands together “yeah, let’s do that.”

“what do you mean?? i have plenTy of food in my fridg- okAy” you stumble over your feet when jin grabs your wrist and drags you away from the fridge

when you enter jin’s place he pushes you down on the couch and you nearly bounce off of it “you stay here, and i’ll whip something up for us.”

as he turns to head towards his kitchen he hears a vioLent schrrr

he turns back around and your finger freezes on the nozzle on the whipped cream canister

“wha- where did you even hiDe that” jin furrows his brows and you shrug before squirting some more into your mouth

“you sure you don’t need any help??” you’re already bored and you’ve only been here for less than a minute

“i don’t want you burning down my kitchen, so i’m good.”

“but i’m boRed and i’m hunGRY” you whine and flop back against the couch

jin raises a brow before bending down and grabbing the remote

he turns the tv on and it just so happens to be playing the late-night cartoons

perfect for a petulant child like you

miraculously jin gets 20 minutes of peace and quiet until he hears you whining again about how hunGry again

that’s what happens when you eat nothing but empty calorie foods

your eyes light up with excitement when jin emerges from the kitchen

he has a rag tossed over his shoulder and a grey apron hanging around him that you assume is from his culinary school

his cheeks are kinda pink from the heat of the kitchen which is adorable

he sits down next to you and you turn to fully face him while crossing your legs

he hands you the plate

wow

“….do you go to culinary school or something?” you tease and jin snorts

the pasta’s been plated into a loose nest and there’s a pretty little basil leaf sitting on top

“chicken, bacon, and spinach spaghetti. and since you’re a whipped cream freak we can have assorted berries and whipped cream for dessert.”

“assorted berries.” you mock quietly and jin scowls playfully before handing you a fork

he doesn’t know why but he’s a little bit nervous lol

like he KNOWS he’s good at cooking but for some reason he feels like he’s presenting a dish to gordon ramsay or someone of that calibre

you twirl a bit of pasta around the fork and shove it into your mouth

and you didn’t think it was possible

but you’re pretty sure your mouth is having an orgasm

HOLy shit

fireworks are going OFF

the bacon has retained its crisp

the spinach is wilted but not toO wilted that it’s falling apart

the chicken is so soft and tender

the spaghetti is cooked *ahem* al dente

and the sauce!!!!

it’s so creamy

so flavourful

you swallow your bite and blink down at the plate of pasta

“what’s wrong?”

“this is…. almost too good.” you mutter and poke at a piece of perfectly cooked chicken before stabbing into it and popping it into your mouth

jin’s cheeks warm with pride as he watches you continue to eat

“it’s almost as good as my frozen mac n cheese meals.” you joke and jin resists the urge to smack you with his rag

it doesn’t matter if you’ve eaten 20 pounds of food for dinner because you’ll always aLWAys have room for dessert

especially if dessert involves whipped cream

it’s healthy-ish!! it’s basically dairy and don’t u need dairy for strong bones or something

and strawberries and blueberries are fruit

and fruit is healthy

so if you really think about it assorted berries and whipped cream is the ideal combo if u wanna get in shape

jin doesn’t trust you with the canister of whipped cream (because he’s 100% sure you’re just going to hog all the cream and squirt all of it into your mouth) so he’s squirting some out onto a particularly juicy looking strawberry that he knoWS you want to devour

he turns and offers it to you and your mouth opens automatically as you lean forward to take it into your mouth

“hold on now.” your brows immediately knit together when he pulls away juSt as you’re about to take a bite “admit it. my spaghetti is much better than your stupid mac n cheese meals.” there’s a glint of playfulness in his eyes as he points to his ear and waits for your response

“i dunno. i get the mac n cheese from whole foods so you know it’s good.” you tsk but keep your eyes right on the berry hovering in front of you

“huh. i guess i’ll be enjoying this seasonal japanese strawberry for myself, then.” jin pouts mockingly

“nO i WANT IT“ jin yelps when you’re suddenly clambering over and grabbing his wrist so that you can shoVe the berry right into your mouth

now

a normal person would eat the berry and then return to their seat

unsurprisingly

you are far from a normal person

you keep your hold on his wrist and suck the whipped cream off his thumb after swallowing the strawberry

god have mercy

your eyes flicker up and you see jin staring right at you with parted lips

“…something the matter?”

and within one second

the berries and your trusty canister of whipped cream have both been abandoned in favour for

well

“can’t believe it took you thiS long to make a move” you murmur against jin’s mouth and he responds by nipping at your bottom lip

“says you!” he gawks before proceeding to press kisses down your neck

and you finALLY get to feel his muscles rippLe underneath the soft cotton of his shirt as you slide your hands from his waist to his back

meanwhile jin’s hand has found its home in between your legs and your eyes flutter shut “god, jin…”

“something the matter?” he mocks before pressing a chaste kiss to your mouth “you gonna admit it now?”

“admit wha- oh, jin - admit whaT”

“that my food is better than your frozen TV dinners” you would’ve burst out laughing if it weren’t for the shocks of electricity tingling up your spine

“n-no way-“ your back arches against his chest and your mouth falls open in a silent moan

and suddenly

you let out a pathetic whine when jin’s hand pulls away from in between your legs “fine. i guess we’re done here!” he sits up but keeps your legs wrapped around his waist

god

you are just a vision aren’t you

you’re flopped back against the arm of the couch

your chest is heaving slightly

your cheeks and nice n rosy

“you are the absolute worst.”

“c’mon… say it…”  he hums and slides a finger from your knee cap to your inner thigh

you know for a fact you two aren’t done here because jin’s already hooked a finger into the waistband of your shorts but you’re naturally a veRy impatient person and so-

“fine, you idiot. your food is significantly better than my frozen TV dinners. happy?”

“…i’ll take it.”

((spoiler alert: you are rewarded with not one not two but thREE mind-blowing orgasms for admitting it))

((maybe you should learn to be less stubborn))

“good morning!” jin is startled awake when you plop on top of him with your legs on either side of him “it’s 10 o’clock and i made us some food”

“christ, don’t scare me like that!” jin scolds you playfully and reaches up to pinch the side of your bare thigh

you’re wearing the shirt he had on last night and it’s starting to droop off your shoulder

“good morning indeed.” his voice is thick with sleep and his hand slides up from your thigh to grasp at your waist “whatcha got there?”

“cinnamon toast crunch bagel” you murmur with a mouthful of bagel and swipe at a lil chunk of cream cheese on the corner of your mouth “my wonderful creation that i made fresh for you”

you’re getting crumbs all over jin but he can’t seem to care because the idea of a cinnamon toast crunch bagel makes him want to throW YOU ouT THE WINDOW

he sits up slowly and wraps an arm around your waist before nuzzling into the crook of your neck “you’re lucky i like you otherwise i would throw your wonderful creation righT into the garbage bin right about now.”

you scoff in mock offence and pull away from him before jabbing a sticky finger into his bare (b r o a d) chest

“don’t knock it til you try it!!”

“the day i try one of your inventions is the day i- mmph!” you shut him up and shove the last bite of your bagel into his mouth before clasping your hand over his mouth so he can’t spit it out

jin chews slowly

and swallows

what the hell

that actually..,,. that tasted good

“that was okay, i suppose. kinda sweet. but i can think of something that might taste a little sweeter.” before you know it jin is flipPing you over and you find yourself pinned underneath him

you’re a giggling mess because you’re trying to get the cream cheese and sugar particles off your fingers but jin is being very vEry distracting

“hOLd on a second sir i have breakfast waiting for us in the living room!” jin’s already made his way down your chest and is about to set up shop in between your legs

he looks up at you before offering you a cheeky grin “…i’m in the mood for breakfast in bed, aren’t you?”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

masterlist

[lost-kinn]

Did you fight Pure Vessel yet? I'm trying to defeat them and I'm just... Overwhelmed. They're much harder than nkg.

i did fight PV! i’ve cleared them on ascended, working on radiant. 

and yeah, i feel you, anon; they’re fast as hell and hit like a firetruck. when i first encountered them i absolutely did not last more than ten seconds against them and it seemed like an impossible fight, to the extent that i really wasn’t even sure if i was making any progress. 

but it’s definitely a doable fight!! they’re very much like NKG because they’re fast but fair. keep trying!!

if ur asking for tips, i (shitty hk player extraordinaire) have a few:

- same base rules as NKG apply: wait for them to attack, then respond.

- they are very fast and they teleport all over the stage but you dont have to move as much as they do. actually you barely have to move at all beyond dodging. chill. relax. it’s not a game of tag. like NKG, PV will come to you, their attacks always target you, and their moveset becomes predictable. let them come after you, stay calm, identify whatever their attack is, and sidestep.

(more specifics under the cut because i wrote a whole long list before i realized what i was doing. anyway, here, have this whole damn cheat-sheet written by a person who’s absolute shit at HK)

- sharp shadow thru everything always all the time, but specifically when they lunge, three-swipe combo, or throw daggers at you

- the hardest part about sharp shadowing thru their attacks is making sure you dash exactly when they lunge; that’s just a timing thing that you’ll get better at with practice

- i’ve seen let’s players pogo on their head instead of sharp shadowing thru them; i’m not really a fan because the size of their hitbox changes depending on if they’re lunging or triple-swiping. speaking as a shitty player, i recommend just sharp shadowing and calling it a day

- when they jump in the air and slam their nail down at you and conjure the ground lances, dash out of the way and then double jump immediately. the lances are narrower at the tip than the base, so youll have more room to avoid them

- (that being said i dont actually use this method to avoid their ground lances but the actual method i use is stupid af and involves dashing right and then stepping back one step to the left to course correct and there’s this whole explanation for why this works involving how PV targets you and how the summoned lances are always the same distance from where PV lands and how this tactic sometimes DOESN’T work depending on if you were walking between the time they target you and the time they attack downwards and it’s really not worth it. just dash and jump dude)

- im a shitty player who’s used passive damage charms to get myself thru a fight before but i dont recommend passive damage charms because ur baby charms will attack them when theyre staggered and u wont have time to heal. if u have quick focus u can easily get in two masks while theyre staggered. on the other hand, if u like baby charms, you do you, friendo

- focus circle blast only shows up after second stagger (50% damage) so youll know when to look for them

- when they do the focus circle blast, dash outta there and wait right at the edge of the blast. the smaller circle blasts don’t overlap (much) with the first, largest blast, so the area right around PV actually becomes the safest zone after the first blast has cleared. smack them with ur nail while ur there

- speaking of smacking them with ur nail, stick with one or two swings. they can and will parry if you’re swinging willy-nilly. if you stick with one or two smacks, you’re less likely to get your ass wrecked when they smack back

- if u have quick focus u can sometimes heal while theyre doing the focus blast but it’s risky. after enough goes youll start to memorize that the little white blast circles show up in consistent patterns, so youll never know which pattern will show up but youll figure out which areas are safer than others

- void tentacles only show up after the third stagger (75% damage) so youll know when to look for those too

- void tentacles are easily avoided if you just double jump straight upwards and do nothing fancy. let’s players on youtube will do stunts like pogo on their head but you really dont have to. just double jump and youll stay in the air long enough for the attack to finish

- if youre like me, youll accidentally dash straight at them when they pull out the void tentacles because you instinctively think theyre going to throw daggers. if you wind up dashing at them, just whale on them. youve already got two damage so you might as well make the most of it, and if theyre at the >25% health mark and you still have 8 or 9 masks, it doesnt matter even if you make that mistake three times in a row—youll probably KO them before they KO you.

as always a lot of it is just practice!! they’re fast as fuck and they hit hard and it really is overwhelming, but i hope some of this helps. good luck anon!!!

[taeyepn]

70 questions tag

70 Questions Tag

Tagged by @fantaesy​ my bab ilu so much <3333

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?: honestly i shouldn’t complain bc they’re so liberal and don’t like.. beat me n stuff like other asian parents but i still don’t like them alot of the time

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?: my best friendo :)

03: Do you regret anything?: wha

04: Are you insecure?: depends on what ur talking about

05: What is your relationship status?: yes

06: How do you want to die?: fast !! so fast that i dont even know im dying until im dead

07: What did you last eat?: an apple

08: Played any sports?: fhock, tennis, swim, golf, track, lacrosse

09: Do you bite your nails?: no its scary i dont like it

10: When was your last physical fight?: last wednesday it was so funny

11: Do you like someone?: l****n

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?: no

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?: i got a list

14: Do you miss someone?: yes :(

15: Have any pets?: a dog

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?: blessed, watch the i got love mv by taeyeon

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?: thats nasty wha

18: Are you scared of spiders?: I FUCKING HATE SPIDERS WTF GET THAT AWYA FOJFSKLDFCLKJFHJSDLKCX

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?: yes omg id get 100s on all those tests

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?: 'snogged’ wtf are we in harry potter who uses that kind of vocabulary in the 21st century

21: What are your plans for this weekend?: sleep bitch

22: Do you want to have kids?: i hate kids

23: Do you have piercings?: no

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?: social studies and english

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?: yea, the sydney who did good in school without doing any work for it rip

26: What are you craving right now?: a blank check to bill gates’ bank account

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?: probably lmao but its not like i talk to them so they were probably fine with it

28: Have you ever been cheated on?: uh no

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?: no , thas why you dont put urself into that kinda vulnerable position trust me

30: Whats irritating you right now?: my hand hurts

31: Does somebody love you?: dont even get me starte d bitcj

32: What is your favourite color?: gray or blue

33: Do you have trust issues?: no

34: Who/what was your last dream about?: superman death hunting me in bj’s

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?: my bio class with tears of joy finally getting a good grade on a test

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?: yea n i should like stop

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?: forget but i dont wanna do either, holding grudges is good

38: Is this year the best year of your life?: so far probably not but 

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?: thats gay i dont say that

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?: no why

51: Favourite food?: pizza

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?: no

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?: crying over something i forgot what it was

54: Is cheating ever okay?: if the cheater goes to jail or hell ya its fine

55: Are you mean?: to some people but honestly they earned it :// im nice to ppl who are my friends back

56: How many people have you fist fought?: like 3 as a joke in elementary school but u know how those are

57: Do you believe in true love?: ye

58: Favourite weather?: like summer days with those big white clouds so its not super hot but like 65-75F and u can do whatever you want outside

59: Do you like the snow? no im sick of that shit leave me alone they harass me every day and yet we havent had a snow day in 2 years

60: Do you wanna get married?: ya thats sick

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?: "wheres the fuckin blow baby”

62: What makes you happy?: like my friends and being successful w my grades and music and sports

63: Would you change your name?: probably my middle name bc white people are always annoying about it

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?: no

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? sorry dude

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?: yes also he’s my boyfriend also we getting married right now on every thursday also

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?: my neighbor

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?: my friend

69: Do you believe in soulmates?: not trying to be pessimistic but no its just unrealistic and improbable, no one has a soulmate u just fall in love with people that are right for you

70: Is there anyone you would die for?: if u say youll die for me ill die for u too bud !!

tagging: @yerioyal @z4ynmalik @nationsgirlgroup @softyeons @bubbleflexe @thatgoodearthcleavage @seohlo @choisullis @taengoonism as always u dont have to do it if you dont want to :^)