#humor/comedy

[aventurineswife]

Hii can i request kafka with a funny and comedic reader? like jessica and roger rabbit type of dynamic, kafka swooning after reader because they makes her laugh... no pressure tho, thank you!

“They make me laugh”

Summary: Kafka finds herself inexplicably drawn to you—a comedic, chaotic whirlwind of absurdity. Despite her usual composed demeanor, your relentless antics and quick wit break through her cool exterior, leaving her laughing and swooning in equal measure.

Tags: Kafka x Reader, Humor/Comedy, Fluff, Light Romance, Opposites Attract, Femme Fatale x Chaotic Fool, Slow Burn(?).

Kafka sat in the dimly lit corner of the Stellaron Hunters' hideout, one hand swirling the crimson liquid in her glass, the other flipping through Elio's latest vision notes. A quiet, calculated serenity surrounded her—until you waltzed in.

“Kafkaaaa!” you hollered, your voice ringing off the walls like a loose bell. “You gotta see this! I invented the world’s first sentient whoopee cushion! It talks back! Look, look!”

Before she could respond, you plopped the deflated contraption onto a nearby chair. The device let out a dignified harrumph before stating, in a monotone, “You’ve made poor choices, sitting here.”

A snort escaped Kafka’s lips. The wine glass paused mid-air, a hint of mirth breaking her perpetually composed demeanor. She eyed you with that dangerously alluring gaze of hers, one brow slightly raised.

“Let me guess,” she said, voice dripping with silky amusement, “you’ve already tested it on Bladie?”

“Oh, absolutely,” you said proudly. “It told him, ‘For someone so sharp, you’re a little flat.’ He chased me for three corridors, Kafka. Three. Worth it.”

Her laugh was soft but genuine, and the corner of her lips quirked up into a smirk. Most people feared Kafka for her cool, calculating nature. But you? You seemed entirely immune to her enigmatic aura, wielding absurdity like a weapon. She found it... fascinating.

“Do you ever take a break from being ridiculous?” she teased, leaning forward, chin resting delicately on her hand.

“Do you ever take a break from looking so good in spider patterns?” you shot back without missing a beat.

That caught her off guard. Her laugh came unbidden this time, smooth and melodic, a sound so rare you couldn’t help but grin wider. “You’re impossible,” she murmured, shaking her head.

“Impossibly funny, impossibly charming,” you listed with mock seriousness, counting on your fingers. “And impossibly good at finding all your weak spots.”

Kafka raised a perfectly shaped brow. “My weak spots? Careful, dear. I don’t take kindly to threats.”

“Not a threat!” you said, holding your hands up in mock surrender. “I just happen to know you melt like a popsicle in a furnace every time I say something stupid. Admit it. You’re smitten.”

She leaned back in her seat, fingers steepled. Her smirk grew more dangerous, yet her gaze softened in a way that only you seemed to elicit. “And if I am?” she asked, voice velvet-smooth.

You blinked, taken aback. Then, with a dramatic swoon that could’ve put any opera diva to shame, you staggered. “She admits it! Oh, woe is me, the dazzling lady with the wine hair is utterly captivated! Someone fetch me a fainting couch!”

Kafka rolled her eyes, though her laughter rang out once more, unrestrained and genuinely amused. You had the uncanny ability to crack through her carefully constructed façade, and she found herself enjoying it far more than she should.

“Come here, you absolute fool,” she said, tugging on your arm until you stumbled closer. She pressed a quick, teasing kiss to your cheek, leaving you momentarily stunned.

“See?” she murmured, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. “I do like my comedy sharp.”

You grinned like a Cheshire cat. “And I like my mysterious femme fatales giggling at my antics. Guess we’re a perfect match, huh?”

Kafka only hummed, that dangerous smirk never leaving her face. “Oh, you have no idea.”

[lotusflowerbreakingthesurface]

[𝐏𝐗 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐜 𝟔𝟕] 一觉醒来我兄弟变成了我老公 𝐛𝐲 阿池

✧ 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: When I Woke Up, My Brother Became My Husband

✧ 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: Zhang Qiling/Wu Xie, slight Hei Xiazi/Xie Yuchen

✧ 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐞: PingXie Only

✧ 𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: M/R

✧ 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬: Complete + Extra

✧ 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞: Chinese

✧ 𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡: 23 Chapters + 3 Extras

✧ 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: Canon Divergence—Yucun (Notes in Rain Village), A/B/O, Alpha Ping × Straight Shou Omega Xie, Travel to a Parallel Universe, Marriage

✧ 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐜: Wu Xie's First Person POV, Zhang Family Appearance, Humor/Comedy, HE

✧ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Mpreg, Side/Background Relationship(s), OOC warning by the author

✧ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲/𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜:

“It's a pity that this idea is too unrealistic. I have seen grooms running away from marriages and brides running away from marriages. If two people run away from marriage together, that's not called running away from marriage, it's called elopement.”

PingXie travel to a parallel universe of A/B/O (Omegaverse). Wu Xie tried to cope with the situation where he and Xiaoge are a couple, ready to get married.

✧ 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧:

This fic is hilarious XD They wasn't ready to get married, while the other version of them wanted to have a baby. In the end, it's all good. They got what they wanted and happy ending :) ✨✨

✧ 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬: The author is also good at drawing, the wedding photo fanart is here on Lofter

✧ 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝: Lofter

[creelarke]

[cannibalchicken]

Woah , my garage dog has arrived ,

[beauty-funny-trippy]

[raqualswonderfunblog]

[bebx]

[thedankmemes]

[shutinthenutouse]

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[rzc11]

[aventurineswife]

Lmaooooo the one with Yor Forger!Reader 😆 Any chance we could get that with Sushang, Feixiao and Qingque? 🤣

Just imagine…someone daring to take a bite—

And then straight keeling over dead to the world. ☠️

“When Love Cooks... but the Kitchen Revolts” | Part 2

Tags: Sushang x Reader, Feixiao x Reader, Qingque x Reader, Crack Fic, Humor/Comedy, Food Gone Wrong, Culinary Disaster, Over-the-Top Reactions, Slight Angst (if you squint), Unintentional Poisoning, Bad Cooking.

Warnings: Food Horror, Exaggerated Reactions, Implied Food Poisoning.

A/N: MY GIRLS ARE GETTING RECOGNITION‼️🗣️🔥✨

[Part 1] | [Part 3]

[Header credits]

Sushang was eager. Very eager. Her wide grin could almost be mistaken for excitement—or was it fear? Either way, she was excited to try what you had prepared for your meal. After all, she was always willing to test her strength against challenges, even culinary ones.

Sitting at the table with her chopsticks poised, Sushang watched you carefully lift the lid from the steaming dish. Her eyes widened with hope, but as the lid was removed, a heavy, ominous cloud of smoke wafted up. Sushang’s eye twitched uncomfortably, but she pushed forward, determined to taste the dish.

A single bite.

The moment it hit her tongue, her entire face went pale. Her hand quivered as she swallowed—if you could even call it swallowing. Her stomach churned in rebellion, but her pride prevented her from showing weakness. For a few moments, Sushang managed to sit still. And then…

BAM!

Her eyes rolled back in her head, her chopsticks dropped, and she slumped forward onto the table with a loud thud.

"Th-the flavor... it’s... it’s like… poison, but worse." Her voice came in a dazed, muffled tone from beneath her arms.

You winced and muttered an apology, unsure whether Sushang had actually fainted or was simply overwhelmed by the sheer force of the meal. Either way, it was clear that your cooking had struck a blow greater than any battle wound.

Feixiao always thought she could handle anything. She’d survived a life of violence, fought against abominations and enemies alike—how bad could a home-cooked meal really be?

When you called her over to try your cooking, she arrived with a casual, confident stride, expecting a delightful meal to complement her otherwise personality. But then the smell hit her—overpowering, strange, and almost wrong.

She eyed the dish warily, an unusual shudder running down her spine. "You... want me to eat this?"

Her heart told her she could handle anything. Her pride as a general told her she had no fear.

But as she took that first bite, her world shifted in a way it never had before. The moment the food touched her tongue, the fury of Moon Rage coursed through her. Not because of her affliction, but because her body rebelled against the impossible texture and the flavor so harsh that it nearly shredded her soul. Feixiao's eyes widened, her hand shot to her mouth, and before she could control herself, she vomited onto the floor.

“That,” she coughed, gasping for breath, “is a weapon of mass destruction.”

Her ears drooped, a rare moment of vulnerability seeping through her usual battle-hardened demeanor. You stared, horrified.

“Don’t worry,” Feixiao said, wiping her mouth and struggling to stay upright, “I’ll... I’ll survive.”

But just as she attempted to regain her composure, the general’s knees buckled, and she crumpled into the nearest chair. “Moon Rage... is kinder than this...” she muttered, slumping down in defeat.

[Header credits]

Qingque had heard the rumors. The food that could make even the toughest warrior faint. She was curious but, above all else, intrigued by the possibility of surviving the meal. After all, as a fan of all things quirky, she wasn’t one to shy away from a challenge—no matter how lethal it seemed.

She sat across from you with a small grin on her lips, as if savoring the potential disaster. When the plate was set before her, the aroma was enough to make her eyes water. It wasn’t that it smelled good; no, it was suspicious. But Qingque was brave, so she lifted the chopsticks and took a tiny bite.

At first, it wasn’t so bad. There was an odd, almost humorous flavor to it. Like burnt something with an aftertaste of... did she detect metal? But she kept chewing, determined to understand this creation. The more she chewed, however, the worse it became.

It wasn’t food anymore—it was a force of nature, rising within her, threatening to take over her senses. Her cheeks flushed, her hand clutched the table, and her usually bright eyes narrowed.

“...No... no, this is—”

And then, with the most dramatic flair, Qingque flopped backward in her chair, one hand pressed dramatically to her forehead.

“Please... if there is an Aeon of Hunger, I beg of you... spare me,” she gasped, “I’m... dying.”

You were horrified, muttering frantically as you checked to make sure Qingque was still breathing. “Wait, no! You’re not—”

"I’m alive," Qingque groaned, lifting a hand. "But this... this is beyond death. I'm too alive. I don't know what's happening, but this... is not food. It’s a curse."

[lotusflowerbreakingthesurface]

[𝐏𝐗 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐜 𝟔𝟎] 强制惩罚游戏！𝐛𝐲 阿池

✧ 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: Forced Punishment Game!

✧ 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: Zhang Qiling/Wu Xie, slight Hei Xiazi/Xie Yuchen

✧ 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐞: PingXie Only

✧ 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬: Complete

✧ 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞: Chinese

✧ 𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡: 3 Chapters

✧ 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: Canon Setting—Post-Ten Years, Humor/Comedy, it's a joke coming from a manga

✧ 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐜: Wu Xie's First Person POV, Fantasy Elements

✧ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Side/Background Relationship(s) on the second chapter

✧ 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜:

Wu Xie woke up with two transparent options floating in front of him.

✧ 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧:

Another funny fic from the same author. I like her writing style, it's sweet, funny, and sometimes spicy XD I really need this kind of fic after reading so much angst.

✧ 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝: Lofter (Chapter 1) | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 (End)

[creelarke]

[cannibalchicken]

the noble decomposer

[yet-another-clown]