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bakubabes-tatakae · 5 years ago

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For The Love Of Humanity’s Strongest (Part Six)

Author’s Note: If anyone wants to be in a taglist for this feel free to let me know! Happy to do it for anyone!

(Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Summary: When all seems lost Y/N knows that she can count on one person to always be there for her brother, Eren Jaeger, and herself. Can humanity’s strongest not only keep Eren in line, but keep his relationship alive as well?

AO3 Link

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

Part Six: *NSFW Ahead!*

Word Count: 2291

The kiss grew passionate as Levi moved his hands from behind my head to my lower back. We hadn’t been together like this in weeks, we hadn’t been together since we had been back from the last recon mission outside the walls. The tension was a big reason for my temper lately. He wrapped his muscular arms under my thighs and dragged me closer to the edge of the desk.

He broke the kiss, fumbling with the button on my pants. Clearly the tension was getting to him as well. I’d never seen Levi so desperate when it came to sex. I put my finger over his lips and stopped him. I undid the button to my uniform myself and then made my way to his. When I was done his hands started wandering. He grabbed my breasts, squeezing them some, making me throw my head back in pleasure. He chuckled and began planting kisses down my stomach. My hand grabbed some of his hair the farther he got and a small noise escaped his lips.

“Levi, forget the foreplay.” I grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him up. “It’s been too long. You don’t need that.”

I had never seen the fire in his eyes this bright. He stood back up and placed a hand on both sides of the desk around me. I pulled the front of his pants down and exposed his growing erection. Levi grabbed the sides of my pants, pulling them down with one swift movement. He positioned himself at my entrance, letting his erection glide across my wet sex before finally entering.

He put his lips to mine in an attempt to keep me quiet, knowing that there were scouts outside the door. With every thrust I could feel myself getting closer to my climax, making it harder for Levi to keep my quiet. He took a hand off the desk and used it to cover my mouth, thrusting harder, having me almost screaming. I reached around the desk for anything I could hold onto, when I found nothing I grabbed onto Levi’s arms. The tighter my walls became around him the faster he moved. We were getting sloppy at this point, we didn’t even care at this point.

He removed his hand from my mouth and grabbed a fist full of my hair, pulling it backwards. I tried so hard to keep my mouth shut, but it was too much, and as I finally reached my climax I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Levi, oh god!”

I heard a cocky huff come from his mouth. Hearing his name being called out had always been one of the biggest turn ons for him. As I shouted his name he went sent to the brink. His thrust grew even rougher as he released into me.

Levi collapsed on top of me, kissing the side of my face. I put my hand on the side of his face. “I love you Levi.”

He smirked. “I love you, too, Y/n.”

* * * * * *

When we exited the room everyone had been gone already. We figured they had gone back to headquarters, so that’s where we headed. When we reached the common area of headquarters Mike was sitting on one of the couches, clearly wrapped up in the girl he was entertaining.He looked back at the sudden interruption and pointed toward the stairs. “They’re up in the Commander’s office.”

Levi saluted him and stepped behind me, holding onto the belt loops of my pants and he pushed me toward the stairs. Levi was always the clingy type after sex. I’d probably find him glued to my hip for a couple of hours at the least.

We knocked on the door and were greeted by the familiar face of Zoe Hange. She opened the door wider and let us in, before running back to where she had been. Eren was sitting on the couch with Hange in front of him, tending to his wounds. It was almost like they had been waiting for us to even start their conversation on the matter. Hange looked over at me and smiled. “That went better than expected.” As she dabbed Eren’s cuts from Levi with a cotton ball he flinched. “Does it hurt?”

Eren put the cloth up to his face as she backed away. “Yea.”

“Yea?” Her eyes lit up. “Describe it to me.”

I walked up behind her. “Cool it Zo.” I walked over to Eren and sat next to him. Levi claimed the seat next to me, putting his arm on the back of the couch behind my figure.

Erwin looked between the two of us and Levi nodded at him. He nodded back and spoke to Eren. “Sorry about all that.” He looked toward him. “But the theatrics did get you placed in our custody.”

Eren nodded. “I understand”

Erwin approached the window that was beside him and stared out. “I can assure you that the pain is worth it. We played our trump card at the perfect time.” He left the window and knelt down in front of Eren, holding out his hand for him. “You have my utmost respect.” Eren’s face lit up, he had always wanted to be a member of the scouts. He had grown up around Erwin, Levi, and I. He had always respected them to the highest of degrees. “Eren, I’m glad you’re on our side.”

Eren couldn’t get his hand to Erwin’s fast enough. “Me too. Glad to be here sir.”

Levi leaned forward some. “So, Eren,”

Eren looked over at him, clearly still afraid of getting beat again. “Sir,” He cowered beside me some.

“You don’t resent me now, do you?” He smirked some.

“No, I can see that what you did was necessary sir.” Eren crossed his arms.

I looked over at him and mumbled. “Even if some of it was overkill.”

Levi shot me a look before continuing. “Good, then you understand.”

“Still! Don’t you think you went too far!” I leaned forward from the couch and turned to him. “I mean, you knocked his tooth out Levi.”

Hange walked over with a napkin. When she pulled apart the ball Eren’s tooth was wrapped in it. “Neat, huh?”

Levi was appalled. “You picked it up? How disgusting.”

“This is a precious sample, I’ll have you know.”

Levi looked from Hange to Eren. “Just be glad that people like that aren’t dissecting you.”

Hange glared at Levi. “Don’t you dare compare me with them. I would never even dream of killing him.” She turned back to Eren. “Hey Eren, let me take a look inside that mouth of yours.” Eren looked over at me and when I nodded he opened his mouth for her. Hange’s jaw dropped. “Your tooth… it grew back.”

All of our eyes went wide. I slid off the couch and bent down next to her, looking into my brother's mouth. “What the hell do you mean?” Where his tooth that Levi had knocked out when kicking him should have been missing another tooth took its place. My head started to hurt again. This was insane. My brother had regenerating powers too?

Eren looked afraid as the two of us stared into his mouth. Levi tried to help him out. “Hey freaks, why don’t you leave him alone.”

We both glared at him, but Erwin stopped the catfight that was about to start. “Captain Levi, I want you to take him to the abandoned scout headquarters. Get your team and set up camp there. Keep him safe until the recon mission.”

Levi nodded and looked at me. “Y/n, get the others. Eren, come with me to get the horses ready.”

I stood back up. I didn’t hide the annoyance in my words. “Yes sir.” I gave a sloppy salute and walked out of the room, leaving my brother with Levi.

* * * * * *

As we approached the old headquarters Petra and I were growing very annoyed with Oluo. Oluo had not shut up the entire ride to the building. As we started to see it over the horizon he spoke to Eren. “She’s an architectural marvel, don’t you think? It was a proper royal residence once upon a time, but now it’s known as the formal scout headquarters. It was impractical once the scouts started using it. Too far removed from a river or the wall. This was the early days for us, you understand? Hopes soared high, now it’s little more than a holding cell. The place where we store our newest toy.”

I spat venom towards him. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop talking, Oluo? And how many times do I have to tell you that my brother isn’t a toy.”

Oulo completely ignored me and got his horse as close to Eren’s as he could. “Do not be deceived greenhorn.”

Eren looked over at him, confused. “Excuse me?”

He started berating Eren. “Don’t think for a second that you’re going to get special treatment.”

I started to draw my sword from my scabbard and I felt a small gust on my leg as Levi came closer to me with his horse, grabbed my arm and stopped me from charging forward for Oulo. He tried to calm me. “Let karma do it’s things Y/n.”

Oulo continued. “Whether you’re Titan or human don’t imagine for a second that we all share the good Captain’s thoughts-” His horse caught a rock and jolted, causing Oulo to bite a gash in his tongue. He screamed in pain.

“That’s what you get for flapping your gums on horseback Oulo. I warned you.” I laughed at him.

The horses approached the building and we all dismounted. Levi looked around. “You guys stay here, I’m going to see what we have to deal with inside.”

We all saluted him and sat outside. Oulo looked at me as we sat down on the outside of the well next to us. “The Rookie needed to know his place.” His tongue was swollen, causing him to sound funny. “First impressions are important.”

“Well you certainly made an impression on him, no question there.” I looked over at Eren who was taking the saddles off our hoses, giving them a break.

“Indeed so, our exchange went exactly as planned.”

Petra put her hand on her hip. “What happened to you? You never used to talk like this.”

When Levi had taken over our squad and pulled me in it had just been Petra, Eld, Oulo, and Gunther. They had had another Captain who had met a fatal end in battle, and Levi hand picked them to form his squad. He knew they worked well together and he knew that they all had criteria that he had wanted in his members. When Levi and I had come around Petra had told me about how Oulo had suddenly changed. I had always blamed it on the fact that he had wanted to be just like Levi, but Petra had said he was just trying to make Levi think he had a little competition when it came to his girlfriend.

“It’s none of my business, Oulo,” I sighed. “But if you’re trying to be like the Captain, it’s kind of embarrassing.”

Petra let out an annoyed huff. “You and Captain Levi couldn’t be less alike if you have been born into separate species.”

“If you’re going to hound me like a wife Petra and Y/n dear, there’s rather more of me that you need to be acquainted with before laying claim to the privilege.”

“You wish.”

I glared at him. “I’d tell you to bite your tongue, but it looks like you’ve got that covered.” Levi had come out of the building and was just in ear shot, listening to the whole thing. “Next time, I hope you bleed out.”

Oulo laughed. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”

“You disgusting swineherd!” I walked away from them and over to Eren. “You want the lowdown on everyone little brother?”

Eren smiled. “Sure. That sounds great.”

Levi walked up behind us, staring daggers at Oulo. He had never taken kindly to the shots that Oulo took toward me. I smiled at him. “Just giving him the rundown on the squad. Need us to do something first?”

Levi put his hand up. “No, go ahead. I’ll tell the others to start cleaning.”

I pointed to Petra. “Petra Rall, ten Titan kills to her credit, forty-eight kill assists.” I changed my glance to Oulo. “Oulo Bozad, thirty-nine kills, nine assits, elite as they come, but he can be a total ass.” Eld and Gunther passed us as I spoke, so I pointed them out as well. Eld was first. “Eld Jinn, fourteen kill, thirty-two assists, and Gunther Shultz, seven kills, forty assists.” I stopped and pointed to myself. “Obviously you know who I am. Twelve kills and forty-four assists.” I smiled. “Every single one of us was hand picked by Captain Levi for our accomplishments in the field.” I hated what I had to say next, but I had too. “And just so you know Eren, if anything happens. These guys are your executioners. The ones that have no choice but to end you if you lose it.”

I walked over to Gunther and Eld, standing between the two. Eld put his arm on my shoulder, using me as a leaning post. “This place has gone to hell.”

I looked up at him. “It’s been abandoned for years.”

Gunther sighed. “The insides are in shambles.”

Levi walked up behind us, jumping all three of us. “In that care we have work to do, don’t we? You all best grab a broom and get to work.”

Taglist 💕 @gamegirl23100 @super-peace-fangirl @pjimochi @izzythefanfreak @echimozart @peachymochimochi @primusk @absolute-randomness-forever @omg-lexiloveyou @always394patronus

Part Seven

Updated: 5/13/2020

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luupetitek · 5 years ago

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I did the thing! Lately a lot of artists post their 10 years of art progress meme, to celebrate that we're starting a new decade. I liked the idea, so I made my own \(*´▽`*)/ 10 years! Who could have thought! My art journey is of course longer, but those are probably my most intense art years x3

More about my art journey under the cut!

2006/2007 was the moment I discovered manga and anime and after joining the fandom, I started writing fanfics and slowly drawing more often. I was inspired by all the stories I could watch and read and by all those cool characters. I also get to know more people who also liked to draw. My first love was InuYasha, and right after was Death Note, which you can see even here ;) I joined my first art community, deviantART, in 2008. Thinking about making my own manga, but I've never drew any page, staying on the first stage of planning everything.

In 2010 I was still drawing. Drawing even more. All the time! Usually on my lessons :v As you can see, I drew mostly traditional, usually fast pencil sketches, or more fancy, inked and color pencil ones :v But that was the year I got my first graphic tablet! It was terrible, but I was happy I could finally draw digitally... with Paint x'DDD oh my good, yes. My first graphic program was window's PAINT. Still it was fun! But, as you can imagine, my works weren't too good quality (you can see them in the scraps, lol), and i didn't have many tools to work with. So I stayed with my fancy Faber-Castell Polychromos color pencils 😎 I was no longer writing fanfics. Nonetheless, I didnt stop writing at all, I started chat rpgs with my friend! Beginning with Death Note characters.

2011 was the year I started thinking about my art carrier even more seriously. Taking some private and class art lessons. Not for too long, but I was introduced to other art styles, mostly realism. Still practising digital art and my own art style too. I also started doing commissions this year!

2012 I changed my high school for a school with an art class :D I also started taking some private lessons from a skilled artist, who could teach me not only traditional, but also digital art and liked manga too. I think that's the year I made my biggest and probably mostly visible art progress. I was drawing ALL THE TIME. I was no longer using Paint, but Paint ToolSAI and then Photoshop. I got a Wacom Bamboo tablet (which I still have and use up to this days). But what's even more important: I was not only drawing, but also observing. I was looking at photos, at people around me. Noticing how their bodies move, how do they look like, how their body parts and their clothes look like. Drawing from references and from the world around me, sitting in a subway and drawing people sitting next to me. I was learning the anatomy, shapes, gestures, shading. I LOOOOOVED sketching and making full pencil pictures! And still, even though I don't draw traditionally anymore, sketching is my most favourite part form the whole drawing process cx Oh! And that's the year I started to play on a rpg forum with a ttly original story and when Drill was made! ♥ My first true original character, that I'm proud of and that I still love~

2013 was busy with my preparations to get to the art university! I still drew a lot, mostly the rpg characters and some practice sketches, but now also big format pencil and paint pictures for my portfolio. I felt in love with aquarelles 😍 and was practising them together with pencil sketches and digital art. I also did my first, short animations : > And did a project with the whole movie clip for the Disney's song "I'll make a man out of you"! I had a lot of fun AND I GOT ACCEPTED INTO MY DREAM COLLAGE!!! ＼(≧▽≦)／ Like, seriously, it was my goal since my middle school, when I first saw their ad in a subway, lol

2014 More art! More digital! More aquarelles! More OCs! Generally the only thing I was drawing that time was rpg characters and uni projects xD Started experimenting more, connecting traditional art with digital art

2015 Same, just drawing those OC's in many ways and having fun~ RPing a lot and... OH! Is that? Yes it IS! It's RAVENIA! It's the year when Vasdorl was born ٩(♡ε♡)۶And my love for drow ofc!! I was introduced to DnD and fantasy and there was no going back from that path. I joined the drow community on tumblr and discord to meet more people with the same interests.

2016 IT'S RAVENIA!!!!! And the real start of the drow era! That's also the year when "Vicous Vasdorl" comic started! And when I began working on my BIG "Escaping the Underdark" game project, as my final uni project ♥ I came back to doing commissions and developed my comic "simple style"

2017 More drow! More Ravenia! More Vasdorl! And of course MORE OF MY GAME, that was taking most of my time as I already was too late with it. It was such a big project for just a one person and I had to take a one more semester to work on it. Drawing all days and all nights. Generally I was just waking up, working and going to sleep and that was my life back then. That was also the moment I learned how to do good digital sketches, as I was drawing A LOT. Especially while working on my animations. (Drawing them traditionally just to remake them digitally was too much time-consuming. So I completely stopped doing it. I was abandoning my pencil, and replacing it fully with tablet pen). AND I DID IT!!! I graduated with the highest grade possible and I finished my game! \(^ヮ^)/ I started doing plushies and chibis and went more into doing commissions.

What about those last 2018 and 2019 years? I guess you know them well. I had more problems so I stopped doing my comic and focused on doing commissions. Doing commissions and from time to time drawing our dear Ravenia characters but I didn't stop in my journey here. Working on comms was a perfect way to experiment more and go out of my comfort zone! Drawing many different things, many different characters and of course backgrounds! Which I always hated doing and now I don't have anything against. Experimenting with light and perspective. Mastering my skills and my anatomy knowledge. Making art trades and gifts. Having fun with you on streams x> Just trying to push myself a little bit more foreword and learn something new with every picture~

Woha, that's a really long description xD' But for the TLDR people: It was a long journey! But I'm very proud of it! Starting from manga and anime, with traditional works and doing mostly fanarts. And slowly going to digital fantasy, not using any traditional techniques anymore, to draw my and my friend's OCs. I spent most of my life on making art, 12 years on deviantArt, 5 years on being here and sharing it with you and 10 years on learning as much as I can. Still learning and trying to improve even more!

Thank you for being with me through that time ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ ) And hopefully we will be able to continue it through the next 10 years! Let's see what the future holds ;) ____________________________________ You can find me on: (@Luupetitek) Deviantart | ArtStation | Mixer | Ko-Fi donations

#meme #luupetitek #10 years art progress #progress #improvement #2019 #art #artist #story #info #progressmeme

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lifeslemonjuice · 5 years ago

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Notes on Bad Taste

If you saw my Spotify Rewind for 2019, you would probably laugh. April 2019 - it was that Boy With Love SNL performance which marked the start of it all. Spring Day was when I completely surrendered into their magnificence of 방!탄!소!년!단! This year when Map of the Soul: 7 was released, and I experienced what it felt like to be a fan of theirs for the very first time during an album release. At this moment in time, they are the biggest act in the world. Unreal is the word. But well deserved is the word too. That in itself is a contrast, and the many, many paradoxes you will feel when it comes to their story. How did they make it so big?

Towards the second half of 2019, I was trying to write an essay about Kpop title - Notes On Bad Taste. I wanted to pen down how I surprised myself – a girl that didn’t bother to listen to any Kpop to somehow listen to them every day. To this day, the essay has not yet been completed. It was weirdly difficult to write. (It is weirdly difficult for me to write this too.) It definitely makes me wonder – why is it every time I want to write about this topic, it never feels like I am being completely honest? Perhaps it is the fear of touching a topic that is still widely stigmatised. Perhaps it is the surface level of understanding I have toward a weighty topic. Perhaps the hidden side of the perfection is what draws me in. Perhaps that is the part that I am truly interested in investigating. Perhaps I know that I will never get an answer, which is why I keep wanting more.

This phase of my life marks a delayed time of personal discovery. Somehow I have only just felt comfortable enough in my own skin. Somehow 방탄소년단 showed me the possibility that there is yet another side of me that enjoys this form of music, that somehow showed me to be more openminded and non-judgmental. Certainly, I did not know that music had this kind of power until I understood Kpop.

Note that the definition of Kpop is very widely debated and that it cannot be defined in just a single sentence without going into the history of South Korea. I struggle to define this because there is a whole other side to Kpop that I have yet to understand. The side that stands for independent music, rap scene and those epic gut-wrenching ballads that most South Koreans actually listen to. The idol music side of Kpop being tailored for us non-Koreans, almost like an entrance to a new world. Actually, idol music should be in its own entity because it is the perfectly crafted gateway machine designed to get any fool like myself to want to buy a plane ticket to Seoul.

How I see Kpop or (idol music) is that it vibrates in an upper stratospheric layer. It takes from all types of styles- and exploits them. The visuals, and colour, the beats, and the noise. It is too much, like a Takashi Murakami painting. It’s like you already know that it is manufactured to fit into the pop scene, but you want more. It recycles, it copies. It is irresistible, it is annoying, it makes feel waves on the inside, it makes you dance on the outside. I still wonder – why do I keep listening? It is not that great. It makes you want to turn it off. It makes you feel something you can’t put a finger on. And it makes you curious because – what they are singing about?

And then comes the afterthought. The afterthought that comes through understanding what Kpop is really about. It comes from the artists, their journey to debut to success to mega success. It makes us appreciate their hard work because of the difficult structured system of the Korean music industry, the standard of what the idols need to go through - the corruption, the mental health issues that are never addressed, the fact that they are South Korean, taking over the world, the message they send to the youth, the massive community of people that formed a real connection.

Nothing is fair, there is no such American dream from any South Korean native, and the odds are always against them, and yet they breakthrough. There is a deep sense of undying support and empathy toward these idols from fans because they understand how difficult it is for idols to be idols. It is a beautiful cycle of giving and take. The idols vowing to work hard for their fans for their once impossible dreams to stay alive.

Noted that all these criticisms about Kpop exist because we are primed to feel so negatively toward idol music as shown on western media. Ultimately, the moment you give something meaning is when it becomes important. Somehow, with BTS, everything they put out and does carries a sense of normality that young people really resonate within this point in time. You can say it is because they remind young people to love themselves through the context of their music and lyrics. They nudged a generation to read Jung.

I don’t see 7 boys who love themselves. I see 7 boys healing themselves through the music they make, the performances they do is their way of feeling liberated and free from all they are going through. Subconsciously I see that they remind young people that through the feeling of gratitude for what they do, they vibrate a kind of selflessness that I don’t feel from people who are famous. They are constantly bombarded by the love that they cannot even feel. So, in the back of their minds, a reminder to be realistic and to keep working hard will always burden them. They carry and understand what it is like to feel, to cry, and to not love themselves. It reminds us to reflect on ourselves and our purpose towards ourselves through all these struggles. That’s the appeal. That is sacrifice, and that is the highest form of love. At least what I think is love. All these things that I have just written are weight of mental health that we all can easily relate to. The more vulnerable they are the more people are able to relate to them. It’s like dancing on a tight rope, juggling what they love, the money they earn, and their agency – a metaphorical scissors that can cut the tightrope any time. And waiting for them at the bottom is their sea of fans, all of them which they cannot touch.

There is no explanation needed for me to explain, or for any Kpop lovers out there to explain to people who don’t get it. They will get it if they get it. Simply because the greatest most valid reason to like Kpop is a kind of happiness that certainly can not be fulfilled by pop music these days.

(li)(li)

#bts #bangtan #kpop #essay #thoughts #kpopthoughts

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kachulein · 6 years ago

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About me tag!

Rules : Answer the questions and tag 10 people

tagged by: the lovelies @manyakhater & @namiiyae 💖💖

1. How tall are you?

174cm or exactly 5'8,5

2. What color are you eyes?

just..brown. yup.

3. What color and style is your hair?

My hair is black, straight, and I wear it long with see-through bangs

4. Do you wear glasses?

yes but I use contact lenses when I go out (mostly)

5. Do you have braces?

I used to! Now I only have these metal thingies at the back of the bottom and top row of my front teeth, so that the progress from my braces doesn't regress.

6. What’s your fashion sense?

very versatile but I do have my favourites. I'm a bit geared to korean fashion I'd say? I love wearing pleated skirts with crop tops/hoodies and tights or thigh highs. I also like everything high-waisted because I love wearing cropped tops no matter whether they're shirts, long-sleeved etc. I'd describe it as a cute street style? I also like to wear slacks and blouses, or tight mini-skirts, going for that classy, elegant, and mature look. And recently I got high-waisted cargo pants and they look so cool, I'm in love!!~

7. Full name?

I'll give you my first and middle name instead, Laura Jane.

8. When were you born?

1999

9. Where are you from and where do you live?

I'm from Switzerland and I still live there~

10. What school(s) do you go to?

primary school, secondary school and another 4 years of school for a higher degree (it's the highest degree you can achieve before going to college but not many people choose that way [in Switzerland] since we have a dual system and there's different ways you can choose to educate yourself further (or not) after secondary school.

11. What kind of student are you?

uuuh a lazy but ambitious one? I was prone to falling asleep during class, much to the amusement of my classmates (I tried hard to stay awake, okay). I'm not really the type of person that studies much because I procrastinate a lot. I never had to study much for good grades and I usually understand/memorize something without having to revise it, so that probably fueled my laziness in regards to studying even more. I only ever studied the evening before an exam but then I was very disciplined and concentrated to take it all in because I always wanted to get good grades nevertheless. :'))

12. Do you like school?

I used to. As a child I loved school (apparently) but the pressure and stress and tons of workload really ruined it for me

13. Fav subject?

English, Art and Music

14. Fav TV shows?

Atypical and Sex Education as of now^^

15. Fav books?

Harry Potter Series, The Lux Series, and Remembrance of Earth's Past trilogy (it's a Chinese sci-fi trilogy, I highly recommend).

So, now you know; I'm a sucker for fantasy and science-fiction. Your certified nerd right here.

16. Fav pastimes?

researching about astrology, reading, drawing, singing, writing, dancing, watching shows, movies and YouTube videos and uuuh I guess that's it ??

17. Do you have any regrets?

Well, don't we all have some? You can't possibly tell me there's nothing you would like to have done differently looking back now. 👀👀 (I'm aiming more towards small things btw!! Like, if you accidentally hurt someone's feelings by saying something's insensitive, that would be something I'd regret for years)

18. Dream job?

hhhh singer&songwriter

19. Would you ever like to be married?

Not sure honestly... but if I was to get married, I'd love to get married at the beach

20. Would you like to have children?

not sure either... I'm not the biggest fan of children as of now. That may change with time, who knows

21. If so, how many?

uuuh, 1 or 2 but not more, I'd love to have a boy and a girl though~

22. Do you like shopping?

kind of. It can be exhausting and boring, or painful when you're broke :')

23. What countries have you visited?

Obviously Switzerland since I'm born and raised here, then Germany, Austria, France, Denmark, Italy, Spain, Greece, Czech Republic, and England

24. Scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

...I'd need to put trigger warnings in my tags if I was to talk about this and I don't want to get the mood down now because that was the most horrible thing I've ever dreamed of, that coming from someone who's used to having nightmares ;-;

25. Any enemies?

??? There's no hard feelings from my side towards anyone as of now but I guess one or two people online have their fair share of problems with me and Idk what on earth I've done to them ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯ but well, you can't like everyone, so as long as we all just mind our business that should be fine^^

26. Do you have a significant other?

who knows ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (nope lmao)

27. Do you get along with your family?

uh, well. meh? My dad is a hopeless case and my mom and I do have our good and bad moments, which is probably normal and my stepdad is really cool~

28. Do you believe in miracles?

I would like to but I'm not so sure? It doesn't seem logic to me but it would be nice to have miracles happen.

29. How are you?

That's a question I never know how to answer so I usually just say I'm okay.^^

tagging: @marculees @hwangwhatjin @mlmjaem @littlefallenrebel @albdajirks @strayology @jjisungg @kimwowjin @visualgiggles @janarine

#tagged #tag #questions tag

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

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468.

What is your favorite color? >> Gold.

What is your favorite song right now? >> I don’t have a favourite song right now, just a lot that I enjoy.

Do you have any hidden talents? If so, what? >> No.

What is something you are shy about? >> I wouldn’t say I was shy about anything.

Are you double jointed? >> No.

Do you have any deformities or birthmarks? >> No.

What were you almost named? >> ---

What would your name be if you had been born the opposite gender? >> ---

What's your favorite dog breed? >> Pit bull.

If you don't mind my asking, what's your sexual orientation? >> Functionally asexual, as far as outworld is concerned.

What's your religious or spiritual affiliation? >> I think “pagan” is a pretty useful catchall for the various ways I’ve approached the numinous side of things.

What's something you hate being called, and why? >> I hate being called anything that isn’t my name.

What are some of the meanest, most insulting things that have been said 2u? >> I don’t know.

What is the best compliment you've ever received? >> ---

What do you get complimented on the most? >> ---

Do you have any regrets? >> No.

What haunts you? >> I don’t think I’m haunted by anything.

What do you regret the most? >> ---

What do you beat yourself up about the most? >> Things like being sensory-defensive, which I know damn well I can’t do anything about, but I sometimes feel like I should be able to...

If you're a girl, how old were you when you started your period? >> I’m not a girl, and I was 12.

How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? >> It’d be a ten for me because I’m physically incapacitated when I have them, which is part of (but only part of) the reason I never want to have a period again.

What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? >> See above.

What's the most emotionally painful thing you've ever experienced? >> *shrug*

Have you had your heart broken? >> Maybe.

What one thing would you change about yourself if you could? >> I don’t know, I’d give myself superpowers or something.

Who has hurt you the most? >> ---

What's something you feel strongly about? >> I can never think of an answer to this when prompted.

What are you passionate about? >> I’m not sure I’m passionate about anything.

Do you feel like anyone really knows you? >> I feel like that with Can Calah, but not with people outworld.

Do you open up easily, or does it take you awhile to trust someone? >> I don’t open up easily no matter how long it’s been.

Are you ever shy in any situations? >> I don’t think so.

Do you feel shy around certain people? >> No.

Do you feel shy around people that you want to like you? >> No.

Who was your first celebrity crush? >> Matt Damon, for some reason.

How old were you when you had your first crush? >> That was at age, like, ten or so. I don’t remember exactly.

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? >> I’ve questioned whether I even have a “sexuality” at all.

Do you pray to God regularly? >> I don’t at all.

Are you a Christian? >> No.

Do you consider yourself a disciple of Jesus Christ? >> No, but I find his mythology fascinating (especially how it relates to other myths of the time -- particularly the ones about a certain other counter-cultural dying god who is ritually consumed by his followers...).

How old are you? >> 32.

Do you cry in front of others, or do you hold it in until you're alone? >> I hold it in until I’m alone.

Have you ever had an embarrassing bathroom incident? >> Sure.

What was your most embarrassing moment? >> I don’t know.

Have you ever been bullied? >> Yes.

Have you ever contemplated suicide? >> Yes.

Was there ever a time in your life that you couldn't cry? >> I don’t think so. If I’m not crying, it’s because I don’t want or need to, not because I’m emotionally “blocked” or anything like that.

Do you have love and support from anyone, or do you feel all alone? >> I have love and support, but that’s not necessarily going to prevent me from feeling all alone. Feelings aren’t always based on what’s actually happening in reality.

What song do you often feel could be the theme song to your life? >> ---

Do you trust anyone? >> Rationally, yes. I don’t always behave like it, though, because I have what they call trust issues.

Do you want to get married? >> Whether I want to or not, it’s what’s happening.

What is your dream job? >> ---

Are you happy with your life right now? >> Sure.

Which has hurt you more: friendship break-ups or bf/gf break-ups? >> I’m not going to draw comparisons.

Have you ever been abused? >> Yes.

Were you abused by your parents? >> Eh...

Are you parents divorced? >> They were never married.

Do you have chronic pain? If so, is your chronic pain physical or emotional, or both? >> No.

Do you wish you could talk to someone and share everything? >> No.

What's your deepest wish right now? >> I don’t really have any.

Have you ever felt loved? >> I don’t think so.

When was the first time you remember feeling loved (be honest)? >> ---

Do you have any brothers or sisters? How many? >> ---

Are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or only child? >> ---

Do you have a twin? >> No.

Have you ever wished you had a twin? >> No.

Do you have a sibling who look just like you? >> No.

Which family member did you get your hair color from? >> ---

Which family member did you get your height from? >> ---

How tall are you? >> 5′5″.

Do you ever cry yourself to sleep? >> Not usually, but it’s happened on some occasion, I’m sure.

What's one song that makes you cry? >> Death is the Road to Awe by Clint Mansell.

Do books ever make you cry? >> Sure.

What's a book that's made you cry? >> Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.

Do you watch a lot of movies? >> A fair amount, I guess.

Books or movies? >> Either? They’re different forms of entertainment / escapism and I like them both for different reasons.

How many states have you lived in (if you live in the US)? Which ones? >> NJ, NY, NC, CO, MI.

What advice would you give to someone starting high school? >> I wouldn’t have any advice for them.

What advice would you give to someone starting college? >> ---

What's one piece of advice you'd give to your younger self? >> ---

Do you feel appreciated and cared about, or do you feel neglected? >> I feel either at different times, depending on my overall state of mind and level of disconnect.

Are you wounded? >> No.

Have you ever self-harmed? >> Yeah, I did for about six years.

What advice would you give someone who's having a hard time in high school? >> ---

What advice would you give to someone who's being bullied? >> ---

Do you get bullied a lot? >> I mean, I’m an adult now. There’s far less opportunities for bullying, so it’s easier to avoid.

Are you sensitive? >> Not particularly.

Are you hypersensitive to sound? >> Yes.

...to smell? >> Yes.

...to sight (as in, you seem to see colors brighter than normal)? >> Yes.

...to touch/ to hot and cold? >> To heat, and certain textures.

...to food/taste? (i.e., spicy food or hot food might be too much for you) >> No.

Do you write in a journal or diary? >> I keep a journal on dreamwidth.

Do you like to write? >> Yes.

Do you like the way you look without make-up? >> Yes.

Do you think you only look pretty with a tan? >> I mean, I’m dark-skinned, so...

Has anyone ever called you beautiful? >> Yes.

Have you ever been mistreated by a crush? >> ---

Have you ever loved someone who hated you/treated you horribly? >> Not hated me, but treated me with far less respect and care than I would have liked.

Have you ever dated someone just to try it? >> What.

Are you adventurous? >> I can be.

Are you spiritual? >> Something like that.

...creative? >> Yes.

..intuitive? >> Not especially.

...spontaneous? >> Sometimes.

...rebellious? >> Incorrigibly.

....free-spirited? >> That could be said, maybe.

...open-minded? >> Yes.

...optimistic? >> Maybe?

.....loud? >> No.

....stressed out a lot? >> No.

....shy at times? >> No.

.......shy when you're first getting to know someone? >> No.

...painfully shy? >> No.

...apprehensive? >> No.

...easygoing by nature? >> I’d say so, although I have limits. Mostly I’m just apathetic about a lot of shit.

Have you ever had a rumor spread about you that wasn't true? >> Probably.

Do you often get treated as if you are worthless? >> No.

Do you often fear getting in trouble (whether or not you've done anything)? >> Not irrationally.

Do you get stage fright? >> No.

Do you compare yourself to others? >> Sometimes, but it’s not a habit I like to indulge.

What are your favorite physical features on yourself? >> ---

Do you like your natural hair color? >> It’s fine.

Do you like your eye color? >> It’s fine.

Are you short or average or tall, and do you like it? >> Short, I guess. I’m not really concerned with my height, it doesn’t mean anything to me.

Are you happy with the way you look? >> I just don’t care most of the time. I’m not trying to attract anyone, so what point is there in focusing on my appearance aside from making sure I’m clean and comfortable?

Are you naturally an early bird or night owl? >> I don’t know. I don’t think I’m either.

At what time of day do you normally feel your best? >> ---

What's the biggest regret of your life? >> ---

What's the best thing that's ever happened to you? >> ---

What's the best decision you ever made? >> ---

What's the hardest decision you've ever made? >> ---

What's the most terrifying thing you've ever done? >> ---

Do you enjoy speech class? >> I’ve never been to a speech class.

Do you have neat handwriting? >> I used to, but now it’s kind of raggedy. Still legible, though, just not as sexy as it used to be.

Do you like your handwriting? >> See above.

What is your name (first and middle), and do you like it? >> Mordred Shadow. I chose it, so I’d better like it, hadn’t I?

What are you allergic to? >> Bullshit, hurr hurr. Nothing, actually.

What's the highest fever you've ever had? >> I don’t know.

Have you ever been to the ER? >> Yes.

Have you ever stayed overnight in the hospital? If so, why? >> Yes. I was being held for psychiatric reasons.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? >> Yes (in the front and in the back).

Have you ever been arrested? >> No.

Ever been questioned by the cops? >> Yes.

...sexually harassed? >> Yes.

....sexually assaulted? >> Yes.

....been a victim of attempted rape? >> Yes.

...been abused? >> Yes.

...been bullied? >> Yes.

...been harassed? >> Yes.

...been kicked out of a store because of the way you looked? >> No.

...been kicked out of your house? >> Been kicked out of a place I was staying in by the person I was staying with, but not evicted by a landlord or anything.

...been the victim of a crime? >> Aside from CSA, no.

....been persecuted for your faith? >> No.

...had someone try to shove their views down your throat? >> Maybe they tried, but that kind of thing rarely has the intended effect on me.

....felt threatened for your life? >> Yeah.

....felt all alone in the world? >> Yeah.

...felt like you were all alone in a world full of people out to destroy u? >> Maybe.

...felt ashamed to be human? >> Like, ashamed to be a human because people are ~so terrible~ or whatever? No.

...felt ashamed of your faith? >> No.

...felt self-conscious? >> Yeah.

...cried yourself to sleep? >> Maybe.

...cried on someone's shoulder? >> Not that I can recall.

...cried so hard your whole body shook? >> Probably.

...cried hard and wished you had someone to hold you? >> Maybe.

Are you superstitious? >> No.

Do you believe in astrology? >> It’s not a matter of belief, it’s just conveniently synchronous a lot of the time and I enjoy it.

Do you believe in the supernatural? >> This is also not a belief/disbelief thing for me. I take people’s experiences at face value and I think there’s no point in me trying to “debunk” or “disprove” (or “prove” or “validate”, tbh) their claims. If that’s what they experienced, then cool, that’s pretty interesting and the universe is wild. What do I care if it was “~real~” or not? Clinging to Consensus Reality(tm) as the Only Reality is really not my thing.

Have you ever experienced anything supernatural? >> Maybe. I don’t bother classifying my experiences in this way. Sometimes weird (or wyrd) shit goes down Inworld, and that’s just how Inworld works. It’s been like that for as long as it’s existed, it’s not like I’m going to get all hand-wringy about it now.

What's one thing you find highly offensive? >> I don’t know, racism? That’s pretty offensive.

What's one pet peeve that you have? >> Meh.

Do you like long or short hair better? >> Short hair is easier to maintain and deal with.

Are you a cat or a dog person? >> Dog.

Pineapple on pizza: yes or no? >> Sure.

What's your favorite pizza topping? >> Veggies.

Are you a democrat or republican, or neither? >> I’m unaffiliated.

What's one unpopular opinion that you have? >> Uh... hmm. I can’t think of one right at this moment.

Have you ever been healed of something supernaturally? If so, what? >> I’m not sure.

Have you ever encountered God? >> I’ve encountered gods, but not the one you’re thinking of. I’ve never run into him anywhere -- or, if I did, I didn’t recognise him.

Do you encounter God frequently? >> I encounter the gods I know on a semi-frequent basis.

What's the best encounter you've had with God? >> That’s NSFW, friend.

Do you pray daily? >> No.

Do you read the Bible daily? >> No.

If applicable, what's your favorite verse? >> I’ve never thought about it, although I know I’ve run into a lot of verses that struck me as poetic as fuck. Next time I crack that thing open I’ll try to find one.

Favorite worship song? >> The last one I was really in love with was We Fall Down by Donnie McClurkin, but it’s been a real long time since I actually listened to gospel or praise music, so I don’t know anymore. Also, a lot of the stuff that gets sung in contemporary churches doesn’t do it for me. Full-on gospel or bust.

If not daily, do you read the Bible regularly? >> No.

Have you ever read the Bible? >> Yeah, I’ve read it quite a bit. I just stopped.

What fascinates you? >> A lot of things fascinate me.

What motivates you? What is the reason you wake up in the morning? >> There’s nothing specific that motivates me. I wake up in the morning because that’s what bodies do, and I get out of bed in the morning because... why wouldn’t I? I just don’t feel any pressing need to rebel against my everyday habits of living and working and playing.

Do you know your purpose in life? If so, what is it? >> I don’t have a purpose.

Do you believe you have a calling? If yes, do you know your call? If you do, what is it? >> I don’t really believe that “purpose” and “calling” are fundamentally necessary. I mean, if I ever do find or create one, that’d be fine too -- I’m not against it. But I’ve been living this long without one, and I’ve still grown and learned and gotten a lot out of life. So I think it’s optional.

Are you scared about the future, or do you take things day by day? >> The future doesn’t concern me much. I’m a day-by-day person.

Do you worry a lot, or do you put things in God's hands? >> I don’t worry a lot, nor do I leave my daily life to the whims of a deity.

Do you believe in the power of prayer? >> I don’t pray, so I don’t know anything about it. But if it works for someone, then I’m truly glad for them.

Have you ever witnessed a miracle? >> Probably. There’s a lot of things in this universe that could be considered miraculous, depending on one’s definition of miraculous.

Do you believe that everyone is created equal & everybody matters? >> I don’t believe people are created, period, and certainly not equally. Nature seems to be more concerned with equilibrium than with equality, to me. But I believe that the social standards of equality should probably be upheld as often as possible in any compassionate society.

Do you believe in Heaven and Hell? >> No.

Do you believe you're going to Heaven? >> No.

What do you think happens after we die? >> I don’t believe in afterlives or anything. So, I guess, nothing. I think the only “I” that will continue to exist after I die is the one that is kept alive by the still-living people who remember me.

Would you want to live forever? Do you want to live forever? >> I used to say yes, but I’m not sure that’s my answer anymore. I mean, I still vastly prefer being alive to the alternative, naturally, but I don’t think it’s meant to be a permanent state of being.

What's your favorite mode of transportation? >> Flying is the most convenient.

What was your favorite class in high school? >> ---

What's your favorite color combination? >> I don’t know.

Are you colorblind? If not, do you know anyone who is? >> No, and maybe.

Have you ever taken a colorblindness test? >> No.

Have you ever taken a right-brain/left-brain test? >> No.

If yes, are you right-, left-, or whole-brained? >> ---

What is unique about you? >> I have no idea. I assume nothing.

What were you voted in the senior class polls? >> ---

Did you like high school? >> I did not.

Were you ever popular? >> No.

Do you wish you were popular? >> ---

Have you ever been painfully shy? >> Maybe? I don’t know.

Do you have a painful past that you want to forget? >> I have a painful past, but I don’t feel the need to forget it.

Have you ever been mistreated by a cop? >> No.

Who has betrayed your trust? >> *shrug*

Do you forgive easily, or do you hold grudges? >> I don’t hold grudges, but I don’t always just let things go, either -- especially if I know I’ve been too lenient about the thing in the past, and have suffered for it.

Do you believe in getting revenge? >> I believe it probably feels satisfying, but I wouldn’t know, it’s not something I do.

Have you ever experimented with any sort of witchcraft? >> Yeah.

Do people accept you and your beliefs usually? >> I mean, I guess. I don’t pay much attention when people don’t, so.

How outspoken are you? >> Not very.

How outgoing are you on a scale of 1-10? >> I don’t know how to rate that on a scale. I can be sociable, but I’m always a little distant by default.

Which season is your favorite, and why? >> Spring and autumn, because the transitional seasons have the best temperature ranges.

Do you worry about others liking you? >> No.

Have you ever tried to impress someone? >> Probably not.

Have you ever lied to impress someone? >> No.

...dressed a certain way to impress someone? >> No.

Which animals are you afraid of? >> None, except on a situational basis (��I’m face-to-face with a bear right at this moment and I just might fuckin die tonight”).

Do you kill spiders and ants? >> No.

What's one animal that describes you, and why? >> I have no idea. I mean, besides the obvious choice (spider).

What is your favorite holiday? >> Christmas.

Do you celebrate holidays? >> The ones I like, yeah.

Do you decorate for holidays? >> Sparrow does most of the decorating, because we really don’t have many and she likes doing it.

Have you ever had to avoid someone because you were jealous of them? If so, why were you jealous of them? What did they have that you wanted? >> Not to my recollection.

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? >> Roxie.

How old were you when you found out Santa wasn't real? >> I was never told about him. (I mean, I vaguely knew he existed because of cultural osmosis or whatever, but that was the extent of my knowledge.)

Did you pray to God when you were a child? >> Yes.

What is your favorite thing you've been for Halloween? >> ---

Who is your favorite Disney princess? >> Moana.

Favorite TV show as a kid? >> ---

Favorite cartoon character? >> ---

What is your favorite flavor of frosting? >> ---

Favorite fast food restaurant? >> ---

Favorite ice cream flavor? >> Vanilla bean.

This may be old, but did you hear "yanny" or "laurel"? >> Oh god, this sounds so familiar but I can’t fuckin remember what it’s about.

Do you prefer silver or gold? >> Gold.

What's one color you look terrible in? >> ---

What are two colors you look great in? >> Just about all of them, in my opinion.

Would you change your skin tone/complexion if you could? >> No.

Do you think you look better with a tan? >> ---

What color is your skin naturally? >> Dark brown.

What is your heritage? >> Hm.

What state and country do you live in? >> Michigan, USA.

Do you think you have an accent? >> I don’t have an accent to myself because I’m used to my own voice and it doesn’t sound remarkably different from any other voices I hear regularly. But I’m sure I’d hear the difference if I went to, say, another country.

Which accent is your favorite? >> ---

What store would you like to win a shopping spree at? >> I have no idea. Best Buy?

Do you think for yourself? >> Who else am I going to think for...?

Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many? What are they of? >> Yes. Three. A spider dangling from the Roman numeral XIX, a Mannaz rune, and “scully, it’s me”.

What piercings do you have? >> Septum and earlobes.

Have you ever been rebellious? >> I’ve been rebellious my whole life.

Describe your style in high school. >> I was a baby bat nü-metal-head that wasn’t allowed to dress like any of that, so my style was really just “what my father allowed me to wear”.

What is your style like now? >> Lazy goth metalhead with sensory issues.

What one word best describes you? >> Multitudinous.

What one word best describes your room? >> I can’t even think of a word for that.

Who was your first roommate? >> *shrug*

Who was your favorite teacher in high school? least favorite teacher? >> I don’t even remember anymore.

What is your least favorite color, and do you ever wear it? >> ---

What are your top three favorite colors? >> Gold, violet, idk.

Favorite fruit? >> ---

Favorite vegetable? >> ---

Favorite flavor of tea? >> ---

Tea or coffee? >> Tea, always.

Are you flexible (physically)? >> Not at all.

Favorite coffee shop? >> ---

Favorite Starbucks drink? >> ---

When is your birthday? >> 28 May.

What is your zodiac sign? Does it fit you? >> My Sun is in Gemini. My natal chart does tell a pretty accurate story about me, from my perspective.

What is your Chinese zodiac sign? >> I don’t remember.

What genres of music do you listen to/like? >> It’d be easier for me to name genres of music I don’t listen to.

Do you read a lot? >> Yeah.

Do you like to read? >> Sure do.

Are you organized? >> More or less.

Do you eat healthy? >> I do my best to balance trying to eat well and trying not to become obsessed with eating well. It’s a delicate balance.

How often do you eat out? >> Maybe a couple of times a month.

What's something you want to change about your life? >> ---

Do you wish you had more control over things? >> Yeah, I wish that fairly often. But I also know it’s pointless to dwell on it.

How do you express your anger? >> I’m not angry often enough for me to know what my standard method of dealing with it is.

Have you ever reached your breaking point? >> Maybe?

Have you ever lived past your limits of endurance? >> I don’t know.

Who do you miss? >> ---

Do you pray in tongues? >> No.

Do you wish on stars? >> I don’t wish on anything.

...on 11:11? ...on the moon? ...on fallen eyelashes? ...before blowing out birthday candles?

What's the best (material) gift that you've ever received? >> I have no idea.

What was your first CD? >> Something Like Human by Fuel.

...first concert? >> Avenged Sevenfold and Coheed & Cambria.

Have you ever had your hair highlighted? If yes, what color? >> No.

Have you ever dyed your hair? If so, what color? >> Yeah, purple and red. Also, grey (less of a dye job and more of a... bleach and tone job).

What is your natural hair color? >> Dark brown.

What color eyes do you have? >> Dark brown.

Which celebrities have you been told you looked like? >> Grace Jones and Harold Perrineau.

Do you have a youtube channel? If yes, what is it about? >> No.

What is your favorite board game? >> ---

Have you ever gotten rid of something and later regretted it? If so, what? >> Probably, but not like... a serious regret. Just like “oh damn I wish I still had that t-shirt” or something. But t-shirts can just be bought again if it’s that serious of a regret.

Do you keep old greeting cards and letters? >> No.

When was the last time you wrote a letter by hand? >> ---

Do you send Christmas cards? >> Sometimes. I didn’t last year.

Do you send thank you cards? >> No.

Who do you admire most and why? >> ---

Has anyone you admired ever let you down? >> ---

What are your dreams? >> ---

What do you long for? >> ---

Are you broken? >> No.

Is your life hard or easy or in-between? >> My life right now is pretty easy, with a few stressors sprinkled here and there for spice.

Do you crave chocolate ever? >> No, I don’t like chocolate (except for dark chocolate and, even then, still only occasionally).

Do you crave love? >> Not to my knowledge.

How many hugs do you get a day? >> Inworld, at least one.

Do you like hugs? >> Not outworld. Love them inworld.

Do needles scare you? >> No.

Do you ride roller coasters? >> I mean, I would if given the opportunity, but I don’t usually find myself with that opportunity.

Favorite amusement park ride? >> ---

Do you read magazines? >> Sure.

Who's your best friend? >> ---

Who do you WISH were your best friend? >> ---

Are you happy inside? >> Er, yeah, I guess?

What makes you happy? >> Random shit.

What would you need in order to be truly happy with your life? >> I am happy with my life.

Have you ever ridden in a horse and carriage? >> No.

Have you ever been on an island? >> I used to live in Manhattan and I’ve been to Staten Island and Long Island a bunch...

Favorite family vacation? >> ---

What do you want to name your kids? List 10 names you like for each gender. >> ---

Do you like to make lists? >> I did when I was younger, but I don’t think it holds the same attraction anymore.

Do you make to-do lists? >> No.

Do you take selfies? >> Rarely.

What's your favorite website? >> I don’t have one.

How creative are you? >> Creative enough, I guess?

What was your least favorite class in high school? >> ---

Can you handle gross things well? >> It depends on the gross thing. Some things that other people think are gross are nothing to me, but there are certain (probably benign to other people, or just mildly gross) things that I find disgusting that I would rather peel my skin off than even think about.

Do you sleep well? >> Most of the time.

What's your favorite quote? >> ---

What's a song lyric you love? >> I mean, I can’t think of any off the top of my head right now.

Who's your favorite author? >> ---

What's your favorite book? >> ---

What's your second favorite book? >> ---

What's your third favorite book? >> ---

Do you take surveys for enjoyment? >> Yes???? Is there any other reason to take these? This is pure indulgence.

Do you enjoy making surveys? >> No.

What type of survey was the last one you made? >> I don’t remember. It was probably just random questions.

Have you ever taken a survey for money? >> Yeah, like on Google Opinion Rewards.

Have you ever been a slave? >> No.

What's a modern injustice that you hate? >> Oh, I don’t know, man.

Do you bully others? >> No.

Are you intimidating? >> According to quite a few people, yes? Don’t ask me, though, I’m not the one who has to meet myself.

What's the next craft project you want to make? >> ---

Do you own a dreamcatcher? >> No.

Have you ever made a dreamcatcher? >> No.

What kind of car do you drive? >> ---

What's your dream car? >> ---

Dream house? >> ---

Dream vacation? >> ---

What are three places you'd like to visit before you die? >> I don’t have a list of places I’d especially like to visit. I’m open to almost all travel opportunities.

What's your favorite city that you've visited? >> New Orleans.

Favorite Disney ride the last time you were there? >> I’ve never been there...

And last but not least, do you love yourself? >> Sure.

#warning: long as shit #survey #random survey #surveys

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turnipsummer14-blog · 5 years ago

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5 Simple Bridal Self-Care Rituals to Unwind + Energize

Take a deep breath. Go on, try it. Now — can you remember the last time you stopped to just breath? Planning a wedding can be so consuming that those simple, human necessities can all too easily slip away. Deep breaths, long baths, hydrating your body and giving yourself those small yet gratifying moments that you probably need now more than ever.

We know not every bride can schedule in a weekly massage or make it to yoga every morning (cheers to those who can!), so today we’re focusing on 5 simple rituals that you can do at home. Five things to make you feel more you. To combat the stress that threatens to dry out your skin, darken those undereye circles, bloat the belly, and overwhelm your mind. These easy routines will help you feel well rested, well hydrated, and overall more like your best self for the big day to come. Take care, loves. We give you permission.

The gorgeous photos below are by the stunning Elizabeth Messina! We don’t blame you if the images alone – I mean, how comfy do those Bella Notte linens look?! – are enough to help you zen out :)

Daily Ritual: Amp up Your Hydration Game

WHY: In case you need a reminder of the benefits of hydration, let this long list motivate you to reach for the H20: proper hydration keeps your skin plump and glowing; helps your muscles fight fatigue, helps your kidneys function correctly to rid your body of toxins, keeps your bowels working properly (bye-bye bloat!) and helps brain function to strengthen cognitive function and memory. source, source

HOW: So, how much should you drink in a day? Harvard suggests a simple solution of 2-3 cups per hour for most people, more if you’re sweating or working out. Water is the best option for hydration, but this is you we’re talking about, and you deserve something a little special. We say, fancy it up with some infused water. Simply chop up some cucumber, mint, citrus, or whatever is in season and let your water absorb those spa-like properties. Amazon has an adorable rose gold fruit infuser water bottle so you can take it to go!

TRY IT: This recipe for detox infused water is a favorite. Or, try a morning beauty tonic! We’re fans of Bali’s famous turmeric + ginger elixir, Jamu, an anti-inflammatory healing drink that’s delicious hot or cold: here’s a recipe. Glow on, sister.

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Weekly Ritual: Unwind with an Infused Bath

WHY: Hop in a warm bath and let the stress melt away. Honestly — it’s proven! Submerging in warm water produces feelings of calm and ease, diminishing anxiety and pessimism. A warm bath before bed produces melatonin to helps you sleep better, soothes achy muscles, and can do wonders for tired skin when infused with the right ingredients.

TRY IT: Draw a warm bath (not too hot) and soak for 15-20 minutes with some of our favorites tried and true infusions:

For achy muscles: Add 2 cups of Dr. Teal’s Lavendar Epsom Salts.

To soothe dry skin: Add 10 drops of rose essential oil to either a carrier oil (jojoba, olive, or coconut) or 1 cup Epsom salt; Draw the bath before adding mixture then give it a stir before getting in.

Because you deserve it: Throw in some few dried botanicals, grab a treat, and soak up that alone time!

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Bi-Weekly Ritual: Love Your Skin with a Simple Face Mask

WHY: Because face masks solve all problems, don’t you know?! But seriously, there is something that makes you feel on top of that to-do list when you put on a face mask. You could always grab a sheet mask on your next Target run or mix some apple cider vinegar with Aztec Healing Clay, but we’re talking simple + at home remedies here. And you can find our go-to right there in your pantry.

HOW: It’s honey! If you haven’t read up on the skincare benefits of honey, prepare to be amazed. Honey is anti-inflammatory, anti-bacterial, and gently nurturing like the best hug. The low pH balance means that bacteria can’t survive, which translates to an environment where acne is a thing of the past. It’s moisturizing, it’s great for sensitive skin — honey can do no wrong. source

TRY IT: First, make sure you have the highest quality raw honey you can find/afford. Pick some up at your local farmers market or grab some manuka honey online. Splash your (makeup free!) face with a little water to make the honey easier to spread. Next, spread 1-2 teaspoons across your face and neck. Let the honey mask sit for 10 minutes before rinsing off. Lock in the moisture with a your favorite moisturizer or sweet almond oil.

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Nightly Ritual: Get Your Beauty Sleep

WHY: We all know a good night’s rest is important and beneficial to the mind, body, and soul. But you’re planning a wedding, here! So, chances are that while your body and soul may be ready to call it a day, that mind of yours could have other plans.

HOW: The good news? There are a number of ways to shut your brain off and win the battle. From meditation apps to quick yoga routines.

TRY IT: Here are a few quick tips to get your entire self ready for a rejuvenating night’s sleep!

Make the rule and follow it: your bed is only for sleeping! Keep the room temperature cool and the lighting as dark as possible. Avoid screens 1-2 hours before bedtime to prepare your brain and eyes for the rest to come.

Get Calm: Download the Calm app for breathing exercise and guided meditations to help you sleep and mix some Natural Vitality Calm (aka the anti-stress drink) into a glass of water to get your daily intake of magnesium.

Try this 7-minute bedtime yoga flow from one of our favorite instructors, Adriene Mishler of Yoga with Adriene.

Treat yourself and invest in bedding that you LOVE! (The dreamy linens you see here? They’re from Bella Notte!) Bella Notte’s brand director Taylor (who is also the founder’s daughter!) shares this quote with us about how her bedding was essential to a good night’s sleep before her wedding, “Leading up to my wedding, I knew one of the biggest gifts I could give myself was a good night’s sleep. I piled my bed with soft down pillows and a billowy duvet, and our Madera Luxe sheets–they’re buttery soft and also sustainable, so I felt great every time I climbed in. Curling up in my sheets every night, bedroom window flung open to let in cool, fresh air, is still my favorite way to fall asleep!”

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Daily Ritual: Be Present by Calling on Gratitude

WHY: Gratitude helps you to pinpoint the goodness in your life. Maybe your florist calls to say peonies are a no-go, or your seamstress didn’t get it quite right, or your venue fell through at the last minute. We ALL know that wedding planning comes with both expected and unexpected stresses. But at the end of the day, you’re preparing to spend your life with your person. Call on gratitude to refocus on what you have and where you are, rather than what you lack.

TRY IT: There are several ways to practice gratitude on a daily basis. We won’t lie — it can be hard at first. But, like working a muscle, it gets easier with time. You’ll find yourself focusing in on what you’re thankful for quicker and with more precision.

Make a list: Keep a journal or note on your phone and jot down 1-3 things you’re thankful for each day.

Send a note: Thank-you notes can feel like a chore when you’re planning a wedding, but once you sit down to write a meaningful message you’ll find its one of the greater joys in the process.

Pray or meditate: Spend time giving thanks for your relationships, for warm weather, for coffee — whatever it is that makes your life happy!

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One more deep breath, now…you got this.

photography: Elizabeth Messina // bedding & curtains: Bella Notte Linens // florals: Forage Florals // jewelry: Sofia Kaman and Catbird // clothing & lingerie: Twigs & Honey, Girl & A Serious Dream , Linyage and The Lace Atelier // hair & makeup: Christina Burns // floral cookies: Lori Stern // vintage pieces & props: The Arte Department

Source: https://greenweddingshoes.com/5-simple-bridal-self-care-rituals/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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archivesdiveronarpg · 8 years ago

Photo

Congratulations, PIKA! You’ve been accepted for the role of HELENUS. Pika, I’ve been waiting for a Helenus application for a long, long time and I can say with utmost certainty that your application did NOT disappoint. Quite the opposite! You nailed every single aspect of Hugo down so perfectly I almost can’t believe it. His mannerisms and dialogue in your interview and sample were beautifully wary, and you get a sense of his devotion to God and why he’s so admired as a priest - but with one line you also nailed why he excels as an emissary. I can’t wait to see our beautiful, conflicted, weary priest on our dash. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within twenty-four hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | pika.

Age | eighteen.

Preferred Pronouns | she/her/hers or they/them/theirs, i’m honestly not super picky.

Activity Level | tbqh…not great? i can’t promise anything more than my best, which is usually activity at least every other day (though i try to get on daily!). probably a 6/10, if i were to give it a number.

Timezone | pst.

Permission | ye sure!

In Character

Character | helenus ;; hugo kim

What drew you to this character? | i’m not gonna lie, hugo definitely snuck up on me. the paradoxical image of the sinning holy man was striking, but as i never read troilus and cressida, i didn’t quite feel comfortable enough with the character to apply the first time i peeped around diverona. so, this became an application for puck. anyway, fast forward a few days: i missed the friday acceptances, i looked into helenus a little (both the shakespeare and greek versions), and hooooo boy the inspiration just kind of…came? i mean, there’s a lot to draw from between the bio, the mythology, and the play.

to actually answer your question, i think what drew me to hugo was his internal conflict. hugo is a study in dichotomy, in balance. as a priest, he lives in a world of black and white, yet his reality bleeds an ugly, mottled grey (except for when it bleeds red, kek). he walks a precipice between faith and doubt (or more accurately, faith and love), and more than anything, i get the feeling he dreams on wings broken by reality. i’m not normally one partial to the good guys (i’m more of a chaotic-neutral kinda gal), but the thing with hugo is that he both is and isn’t a good guy, if that makes any sense. he’s a good man who does (has done, will do) bad things. he’s got vices that’ll come back to bite him in the ass. he’s an angel in free-fall, and i’ll be damned if that’s not intriguing to me.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

► 001. i am the lord thy god (comedy at its highest reveals a tragedy, and darling, you’re the biggest laugh of all)

living such a juxtaposed double life isn’t healthy. i’d like to explore how hugo is affected by the hypocrisy of his actions. how can a man preach kindness to all in one moment, then turn around and promise threats in the next? one of hugo’s biggest struggles is between balancing his role as a man of god and a man of the montagues. and obviously, this causes a lot of moral conundrums. at some point, the balance must tip. i want hugo to make a choice one way or the other: fate or faith? it doesn’t have to be an explicit choice (in fact, it likely wouldn’t be), but rather, defiance or compliance with an order. i want to see an embittered hugo, a cynical hugo. a hugo questioning his faith (or really, his identity). faith is such a central part of hugo’s character; what is he without it? is he anything without it? gimme a hugo wrecked by the war—just another casualty. how will this affect him? he is, essentially, pitting his family against his personal ethics—two fundamental aspects of himself. i imagine it may very well tear him apart, either figuratively or literally, depending on his choice.

► 002. thou shalt have no other gods before me (vacant eyes and hearts and hands)

all of hugo’s connections are fun, but oho, cinead’s. cinead’s. cinead terrifies hugo. hugo believes in one God, but to deny the power of the witches is a unique kind of heresy in which even hugo is reluctant to partake. there is only one way to reconcile this: hugo believes cinead to be the devil. well. perhaps not the devil, but his devil. i’d like to see the evolution of their relationship, how the unstoppable force meets the immovable object. hugo…doesn’t pride himself on being good at manipulating people, exactly, but he is aware he’s good at it. however, he’s outmatched by the witch, and i don’t know that he knows it. it might take him a while before he even realizes how easily he’s manipulated by cinead. interestingly, this is a plot that could break hugo, but is also possibly the only one that allows him to be truly free—after all, the hedonist is slave only to his own desires. so. yeah.

► 003. ye shall erect these stones which i command thee (though you shroud yourself in white, even you bleed red)

as a priest, hugo’s first and only devotion is to god. and he’s been good about that. but he’s still only a man. i’d like to see hugo form a romantic attachment to somebody. bonus points if it’s a guy (i hc hugo as being panromantic demisexual), because hi internalized institutional homophobia. the world of romance is a dangerous new frontier for hugo, and exploring that has a 70:1 chance of ending in angst, because, y’know…jesus.

In Depth

What is your favorite place in Verona?

“You’d probably expect me to say the Cathedral, wouldn’t you?” Hugo chuckles, steepling his fingers on his desk. “I mean, I suppose I ought to say the Cathedral, seeing how it is my home parish. And I do love it, I do. It is, without a doubt, the most beautiful house of worship I have had the honor of laying my eyes upon, much less preaching in. But—”

(…but in Verona, the Cathedral is not a place for the Lord. It is a place for Them, and Hugo cannot help the seed of resentment that buds in his heart when he thinks of their arrogance, of their flagrant insistence to squander their power in the futile pursuit of more. They have deluded themselves into playing god, have lost sight of His way in their games of war. Pride is perhaps the most deadly of the sins, but it is not the only one.)

“—but I must admit to be rather partial to the library. I love books.” His small office is a testament to his statement. Books and writing are strewn across the room in an organized sort of chaos; there appears to be some kind of system, but it’s incomprehensible to the untrained eye. “Stories, facts…you could live entire lives in a library.”

What does your typical day look like?

“Busy.” There’s a rueful twist to Hugo’s smile. “It’s Lent, which means we must prepare for the Easter Triduum alongside regular mass…which means, basically, there’s a lot going on.” And that’s before he factors in his emissary work, which has been anything but typical since Alvise’s death. “Still, my day is pretty structured. I’ll wake up, pray, eat something light. Then I’ll go to the Cathedral and assist with business there for the day. How long I stay varies, depending on my, ah…personal business. Eventually, I’ll find my way home for the night. I always end the day with a prayer.”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

Hugo heaves a heavy sigh. “War is…” Ugly. Profitable. Terrible. Beautiful. He trails off, seemingly unsatisfied with the direction of his thought.

A moment passes. Another. He tries again. “One misconception people have about the Lord, I feel, is that He is responsible for war, for suffering. I think people misunderstand his power; God is Almighty and omnipotent, but also gifted us with autonomy. One of His greatest gifts is the freedom from him—the freedom to make our world. He relinquished control so that we may be free.” His voice lightens with a levity that only feels somewhat forced. “I don’t know that I’d call this war, yet, but for all our sakes, I pray it doesn’t become one. Things are already enough, as it is.”

He stands up; there is business to attend to. “There are a lot of things I could say about the war, but let’s leave it at this: may God have mercy on their souls.” He sighs. “On all our souls.”

In-Character Para Sample:

One truth that Hugo couldn’t deny: emissary work was not unlike addressing a congregation. In both, the man was the messenger—an arm of a higher being, with no real power of his own. An effective messenger understood this; an effective messenger didn’t need power. After all, why waste your breath preaching your own insignificance when you can channel the will of a god? No, persuasion was the most effective tool available to the mortal man. Though the body belonged to the Lord, the heart belonged to the individual.

And there were few people as good as playing heartstrings as the man who looked back at Hugo in the mirror. The man sighed, tugging one hand through his hair and another across his plain black shirt. Hugo’s vestments laid neatly folded behind him, the celebratory white and green a flash of brightness from the mass he concluded only an hour earlier. The mass’ other holdover, the joyful buzz from performing a service, had long since faded, only to be replaced by a new (though not unfamiliar) sensation: the buzz of anticipation. There were fewer things Hugo hated more than being called to work immediately following a mass. He had been acting as the Montague’s emissary for long enough that it didn’t phase him—he even had taken to wearing all black under his alb and vestments, just in case—but switching from a celebrant to a businessman was immeasurably draining.

Still, when duty called, he answered. Casting his reflection one more sigh, he grabbed the mobile off the corner of his desk and exited his tiny office. He took his time walking through the Cathedral’s hallways, nodding to everyone he passed in greeting but not making any effort at initiating conversation. He couldn’t help but blink when he exited the building; it was an overwhelmingly sunny day, truly worthy of being called the Lord’s Day.

Hugo headed toward the spot of darkness in the light, a sleek black sedan parked on the street corner. He nodded at the driver, an unremarkable associate whose name always escaped Hugo, in greeting, and settled into the passenger’s seat as the vehicle roared into motion.

“You’re late, Father,” the driver said.

Hugo caught the sigh that threatened to escape by the skin of his teeth—it was a terrible habit, the sighing, really. “Yes, well. Patience is a virtue, you know. Besides, I had a few matters to attend to at the church before I left.”

The driver snorted, an inelegant sound. “Pft. The church has been around for a couple thousand years. It could’ve waited ‘til after you did your business for the Family. Should’ve. Apparently you’re meetin’ with someone important.”

“More important than the—!” Hugo was scandalized. Did this heretic not realize that Easter was in a month? No, he reasoned, composing himself, probably not. The priest coughed into his fist, and continued in a more measured tone. “Ahem. Yes. I’ve been told this is a…delicate deal.”

That morning, Hugo had been told to pay a visit to a dealer associated with the Montagues. Apparently, the fool had been keeping a higher portion of his profits than the family liked, so they had decided to send the priest in to remind the man of the immorality of theft. Well, Hugo had supposed, you couldn’t deny the Montagues had a sense of humor.

Their conversation lulled into silence as the drove through the city. Hugo watched as it flew by in the window, nice neighborhoods bleeding into slums bleeding into historical centers. They slowed in a middling part of town—you wouldn’t take a tourist there, perhaps, but the area had a familiar vibrancy unique to locals. The driver pulled up to a rather nondescript home that looked to have been repurposed as an apartment complex.

“Ya got a gun on you, Father?” The driver asked.

“Unfortunately, yes.” It weighed heavily in Hugo’s pocket, another habit adopted in Verona. “Wait here until I get out. I pray the proceedings won’t escalate, but it never hurts to be prepared.”

“Aw, Father, you don’t need to worry. Who in their right mind’s gonna shoot at a priest? That’s, like, a one-way ticket to hell.”

And extorting drug dealers isn’t? The sardonic thought went unsaid as Hugo gave the driver a final acknowledgement and exited the car. A cursory glance at the tenant list gave him his final destination, and he entered the building with a pride he didn’t feel, a one-man processional sent to deliver the word of God to the heretic. Upon reaching the intended’s door, he knocked once, twice. A man, presumably the target, opened it—what a fool, Hugo thought—and regarded the priest with a wary glance, hand snaking to the waistband of his pants. So he knew why the angel had been sent to his door. Good. That made Hugo’s job much easier. Primly, he adjusted his shirt collar.

“Tell me,” he said, voice gentle but knowing, “did you know that theft is a sin?”

Time to go to work.

Extras:

a playlist–

ultralight beam ;; kanye west

( i’m tryna keep my faith, but i’m lookin’ for more / somewhere i can feel safe / and end my holy war )

talking to myself ;; gallant

( how’d my own molecules forsake me? / atoms changed behind my back )

blessings ;; chance the rapper

( don’t believe in kings, believe in the kingdom )

fall away ;; twenty one pilots

( every time i feel my selfish ambition is taking my vision / and my crime is my sentence / repentance is taking commission )

in the woods somewhere ;; hozier

( his bone exposed / his hind was lame / i raised a stone to end his pain )

day n nite (nightmare) ;; kid cudi

( within his dreams he sees the life he made / the pain is deep / a silent sleeper, you won’t hear a peep )

fade ;; kanye west

( when no one ain’t around / i think i think too much / ain’t nobody watchin’ / i just fade away )

medicine ;; daughter

( you’ve got a warm heart / you’ve got a beautiful brain / but it’s disintegrating )

hc’s & misc. bits

hugo is technically ordained as an eastern catholic priest, but is familiar with roman catholic tradition.

hugo is fluent in russian and italian. he speaks the latter with a trace of an accent of the former. he also speaks pretty good english, and is fair in classical latin.

this was kinda obvious in the para sample, but hugo sighs a lot?? the man is tired; let him live. other ticks include pacing and holding his hands on his hips. he gesticulates a lot when he speaks, especially when impassioned.

he keeps an extensive collection of herbal teas. his favorite is oolong, though his daily staple is earl grey.

hugo and albert used to call each other every week. hugo feels guilty because he’s been letting their phone calls slide recently.

hugo tries not to curse, and is usually pretty successful. when he starts breaking out the expletives, you can safely assume shit has hit the fan.

hugo claims that his plain choice in clothes is strictly a practice in practicality and professionalism. this is true. it is also true, however, that he’s otherwise hopeless at picking outfits. don’t bother flashing your rolexes and red bottoms at him, because it’ll go right over his head.

i feel like i was a little heavy on the angsty/struggling side of hugo in the app, but he really doesn’t come across as such in his interactions. he’s kind of a nerd tbh.

anyway, thanks for reading! i wanna apologize for playing hard and loose with catholicism; i’m a minimalist catholic, but there are definitely aspects here that may or may not reflect the actual rl church haha

#accepted: helenus

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comicsbeat · 7 years ago

Text

And let’s wrap things up! This may not have been the biggest survey ever, but it had perhaps the widest participation ever, and I’m very proud to showcase so many people from so many levels of the comcis industry from creators to retailers to journalists to publishers. 2018 has already been wild but it’s going to be another banner year for comics.

To read the first four parts of this survey go here.

J.T. Yost, publisher Birdcage Bottom Books

2018 Projects: We’re gearing up for a Kickstarter campaign in January to fund all of the stupendous comics we’ve got planned through 2018. We’re focusing on artists flying under the radar that we feel are deserving of a wider audience.

We will be publishing:

“In The Future, We Are Dead”, a graphic novel by Eva Müllerthat focuses on her obsession with death

“The Complete Matinee Junkie”by Jordan Jeffries, a book collecting his previous four years of matinee attending comics diaries along with the current year (in progress) along with lots of bonus material

“Goat Song”, a bizarre piece of fiction about an unexpected infection by Larkin Ford

“Thonger Dongers” by T. Yost, a third collection of short comics drawn for various anthologies

“Nate The Nonconformist Has A Rival!” details high school rivalry at its worst and most immature by Stephanie Mannheim

“A Lone Dear At The End Of The World” by Bradford Gambles alternates between the hush of an abandoned mall reclaimed by nature and loud, crass consumerism

“Pictures of Bananas and Funny Bugs”collects more truly unique work by New Yorker cartoonist Sara Lautman

What was the biggest story in comics in 2017? For me, the biggest story was the depressing realization that the #metoo movement extended to what I’d previously considered a welcoming and non-threatening comics community. What will be the biggest story in comics in 2018? In an echo of editorial cartoonist Thomas Nast’s takedown of Boss Tweed, comics will be the undoing of Trump and his entire administration (a man can dream).

Guilty Pleasure: I don’t feel guilty about my pleasures (I’ll readily admit to my love of Degrassi Jr. High), so I’ll just say the comics related project I’m most looking forward to is the collection of Laura Park’s work.

Who or what inspires you? Josh Bayer is an inspiration in that his need to draw seems compulsory, his knowledge of comics history is extensive, and his ability to share through teaching is admirable.

Sue, journalist, DC Women Kicking Ass

2018 Projects: 2018 mid-terms

What was the biggest story in comics in 2017? A tie! The meltdown of Marvel – sales wise, creative wise (bye Bendis), executive-wise ( Bye Axel, hello Akira Yoshida (oh sorry CB Cebulski) and the #metwo movement hitting comics and Eddie Berganza finally getting what he deserved 5 years ago.

Guilty Pleasure: Infinity War – how can Marvel get their movies (mostly) so good and their comics struggle.

Who or what inspires you? Wonder Woman! The comic is suffering from a writer who shouldn’t be writing it, but it was great under Rucka/Scott/Sharpe (also the movie was great).

Martha Thomases, writer

2018 Projects: Second Hand Rose, with Richard Case.

What was the biggest story of 2017? #MeToo, Eddie Berganza

What will be the biggest story of 2018? #MeToo spreads to include the people who covered for Eddie and others.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Black Panther! Also, being seen as a writer more than a journalist.

Who or what inspires you? Irmina, by Barbara Yelin. I’m not prepared to see it’s the best book, but it provoked me to think of history in new ways.

Charles Vess, cartoonist

2018 Projects: For the past four years I’ve been illustrating the first ever collected edition of Ursula K. Le Guin’s six multiple award winning Earthsea novels with direct consultation from the writer. ‘The Books of Earthsea’ from Saga Press (a division of Simon & Schuster) will be published in October of 2018, the 50th anniversary of the publication of ‘A Wizard of Earthsea’, the first book in the series. The collection will feature some 60 color and black and white illustrations that will depict her world, its characters and her dragons as close to the way Ursula has always seen them as possible. What a journey it’s been!

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Reading as much of Luke Pearson’s Hildafolk and Anti Watson’ Glister as they’ll give me.

Who or what inspires you? Mike Mignola, Michael Wm. Kaluta and Jill Thompson

Mairghread Scott, writer

2018 Projects: I have two new graphic novels coming out from First Second in March and April. City on the Other Side with artist Robin Robinson, a YA fantasy adventure that follows a young girl trying to stop a war between the after, and Science Comics: Robots and Drones with Jacob Chabot, a look at the history of robots and Drones and how they work. I also have written an animated feature called Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors featuring, Ms. Marvel, Squirrel Girl, Patriot, America Chavez, Inferno and Captain Marvel that I am really excited to share with everyone.

What was the biggest story of 2017? The women who came forward about Eddie Berganza and that DC finally did something about it.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Probably all the other companies being forced to clean house of their Berganza and the female talent that will finally start feeling safe to pitch at those comic companies.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Watching Great British BakeOff and eating cake.

Who or what inspires you? Alex De Campi, that woman is just so damn fearless.

Larry Marder, cartoonist

2018 Projects: Beanworld Omnibus :summer 2018. Beanworld Book Five: 2019.

What was the biggest story of 2017? Robert Kirkman’s Secret History of Comics.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Some sort of inevitable crash.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: B-movies on TCM.

Who or what inspires you? Jack Kirby. It’s always Kirby.

Henry Barajas, writer

2018 Projects: I’m working LA VOZ DE MAYO with Jason Gonzalez and contributing to JH Williams’ III anthology WHERE WE LIVE.

What was the biggest story of 2017? Men harassing women in comics. The comic book industry has had to deal with some persons that overstayed his welcome after numerous allegations. It’s interesting how the events and victims became whispers and shy “con-versations” until Buzzfeed took it public. It doesn’t stop with that one. When you find one roach, you probably haven’t seen them all. Thankfully, women have been speaking out and exposing the bad eggs.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Betty and Veronica will get married.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Line Webtoons. I love their drive. They’re hungry and taking chances.

Who or what inspires you? David and Maria Lapham. They’re making the best noir comic that everyone should be talking about.

Christian Beranek, writer

2018 Projects: Kelci Crawford and I will be launching the Tiny Unicorn ongoing webcomic and prepping a YA GN series. In addition, Tony DiGerolamo and I have some new stuff in the works at The Webcomic Factory.

What was the biggest story of 2017? The #MeToo movement and the diversity in comics debate leading to editorial shake-ups at the highest levels.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Re-invention.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: It’s been 15 years since I’ve played a video game. Maybe I should give one a go!

Who or what inspires you? Kelci Crawford, my partner on Validation, continues to get better and better with her work, which in turns makes me better.

Kat Kan, librarian

2018 Projects: In addition to my work as a school librarian and as the Graphic Novel Specialist for Brodart Books & Library Services, I write the Graphically Speaking column for Voice of Youth Advocates. The February 2018 column will mark my 24th anniversary of writing about graphic novels and comicbooks for libraries serving teens.

What was the biggest story of 2017? The failure of the Big 2 to truly invest in diverse characters and comics; many series were cancelled in late 2017, usually citing low sales. The publishers have ignored the fact that the target audience tends to buy trades, and that libraries constitute one of the important markets for such books.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? The Excellence in Graphic Literature Award is a new initiative of the Pop Culture Classroom – the awards for various age levels and an overall award will be given at the Denver Comic Con. Among the awards is the Mosaic Award, which will celebrate diversity in comics. I’m on the Advisory Board; the EGLs are juried awards. Also, indie publishers such as Lion Forge will continue to grow. Lion Forge has learned lots of lessons from the past, mostly due to its staff – most of whom have worked in the comics industry for years.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Possible travel to professional conferences, particularly the American Library Association Annual Conference in New Orleans. Also, helping my middle school Library Book Club students create their own STEAM-based comics characters and stories during the second semester.

Who or what inspires you? Jim McClain – I mentioned him last year as well, I think. Despite many personal and professional challenges, he continues to hone his craft in his “spare” time. He ran a successful Kickstarter campaign for SOLUTION SQUAD – a superhero comicbook that makes learning math FUN! Jim continues to work on creating marvelous lesson plans – including the STEAM-based comics characters project I plan to use with my students. He does all this while teaching math full-time and being one of the best people I know.

Peter Kuper, cartoonist

2018 Projects: Kafkaesque a collection of 14 adaptations of Franz Kafka short stories, including ‘In The Penal Colony’, ‘The Burrow’ and ‘Before The Law’ to be published by W.W. Norton , Fall 2018

What was the biggest story of 2017? English edition of Alack Sinner: the Age of Innocence by José Antonio Muñoz and Carlos Sampayo

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Emil Ferris My Favorite Thing Is Monsters 2 (Vol. 2)

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Binge watching

Who or what inspires you? Jose Muñoz

Kyle Pinion, journalist

What was the biggest story of 2017? Marvel’s no good, horrible, very bad year. It’s been a long time since I can remember a comics publisher flailing this badly over the course of 12 months – be it creatively, in terms of overall leadership, the PR gaffes, you name it, Marvel somehow found a way to screw it up. Their ongoing rudderless nature is something everyone in the industry should probably be worried about. The original Marvel Now!, with all its energy and critical acclaim, feels like it was a decade ago.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? To be honest, see above. Can the Cebulski era of Marvel right the ship? What can be done differently? Unlike DC, Marvel still hasn’t bothered to make amends with the retailers, whose trust they’re blowing to smithereens, and if they were to relaunch/reboot, what shape will that take exactly? The Legacy launch was a complete bust; so what’s the next step? Do they have the talent in place to get readers excited for whatever it is? Will the long dormant Fantastic Four finally re-emerge thanks the Disney-Fox deal?

A second story worth keeping an eye on is just how big Brian Michael Bendis’ presence will be at DC. I’m sure he’ll wind up with a number of big name titles, but what of Jinxworld? Could that potentially be another pop-up imprint at the publisher? And perhaps even more pressingly, will he join Geoff Johns on the movie/tv side of things in some advisory capacity?

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: The return of the Legion of Super-Heroes. In whatever form it takes. It HAS. TO. HAPPEN….(I hope). It’s not even a guilty pleasure, I just wanted to mention it somewhere in here.

Todd Allen, analyst

What was the biggest story of 2017? What did Marvel go and do this time? (Seems like every other week there was a problem.)

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Depends on whether the whispers of mass shop closing are well founded or not. If so, that could be it. Other obvious possibility is whatever Marvel does for a relaunch/reboot.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: Akira Yoshida returning to write Milli Vanilli comics.

Lara Antal, cartoonist

2018 Projects: Two graphic novels – Adult Memoir about Parenting and Loss, written by Rick Louis (see except below)

Middle Grade about an all-girl punk band and their ghost guitarist

What was the biggest story of 2017? Middle Grade graphic novel market is booming.

What will be the biggest story of 2018? Graphic novels are up – mini comics are down.

Guilty Pleasure of 2018: More magical middle grade graphic novels! These are the comics I dreamed of as a kid and I’m glad they finally exist.

Who or what inspires you? Ghosts by Raina Telgemeier — I’m sure I’m not the only one going to mention Telgemeier but I really appreciated the simplicity and solid storytelling. It’s not going to change your life, but it’s very GOOD, and that’s a feat in itself. I find in comics especially the basics of good story telling can easily be obscured by artwork, and popular characters/properties, and popular creators.

The Beat’s Annual Creator Survey, 2018 Edition, Part Five: chock full of preview art And let's wrap things up! This may not have been the biggest survey ever, but it had perhaps the widest participation ever, and I'm very proud to showcase so many people from so many levels of the comcis industry from creators to retailers to journalists to publishers.

#2018 creator survey #birdcage bttom books #Charles Vess #Christian Beranek #DC Women Kicking Ass #Henry Barajas #kat kan #kyle pinion #Lara Antal #larry marder #Mairghread Scott #martha thomases #Peter Kuper #Todd Allen

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kultaxjaeyoung · 8 years ago

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All the crystals

Rude. As. Fuck.

abalone: what kind of situations compromise my muse emotionally

Death especially, since she still isn’t over her own mother’s passing. She still wakes up some mornings, or has moments where she’ll grab her phone, searching for her mother’s number or will start a conversation and wait for an answer. It’s definitely the one thing she hasn’t completely grasped.

aegerine: my muse's opinion of the supernatural

She believes in it fairly firmly. There’s moments she still tries to be skeptical of it, but she’s had her own moments that she definitely attributes to spirits and things like that.

agate: how my muse calms down

That’s a tough one. Pretty much just time. She has to exhaust herself in some way, but she can still get her mind wound back up again easily. She takes a lot to heart, and can be a dramatic person without intention.

blue lace agate: my muse's favorite form of communication (verbal, letters, texting, etc.)

Text or verbal. She absolutely hates phone calls, because it feels like this inbetween thing. So if it’s really important, and it’s not a life or death emergency that absolutely cannot wait, she either wants to be told face to face or completely non-directly.

fire agate: if my muse is brave or cowardly

Jae is somewhere in between. She can have a lot of courage when it’s a spur of the moment, but then she gets really scared of what she’s done. In a way, she’d rather just take things until it builds up to the absolute highest boiling point, because she’s not a confrontational person. She’s a shitton of talk, though.

moss agate: if my muse has a high or low opinion of themself

Incredibly low. She sees herself in high regards in some areas, but she still has an overall low view of herself.

amazonite: what kind of situations call for my muse to be dishonest

When she wants to hide things. She can hide a lot, but then there’s also a lot she just can’t hide. Mostly when it comes to her own self-destruction, she’s up there with the best on hiding it simply because she doesn’t want to be scolded for something she knows she’s going to do again, and again, and again.

amethyst: what my muse would most like to be able to shape-shift into

If she had her say, it would probably be a bird of some sort, just so she could run away on a whim. Probably a colorful parrot, that’s loud and obnoxious.

ammolite: how lucky or unlucky my use is

It’s all on how you look at it. She sees herself as pretty lucky, because she’s survived shit that should have killed her, has literally been minutes from death, and now she has a job that’s given her a steady life so she can raise her rather smart son with a family that she barely knows backing her every move towards 100% stability. However, she seems to have shit luck when it comes to any sort of relationships, romantic or platonic.

angel aura quartz: my muse's opinion of LGBT+ issues

She’s all for equal everything. Her belief in regards to everything is that if it doesn’t advocate the harm or killing of people or creatures, then do whatever. If it makes you feel good, or it’s who you are, then so be it.

apache tears: a sadness headcanon

Those ASPCA commercials or the commercials for different children’s hospitals. They always make her tear up.

apatite: a headcanon about my muse's intuition

Her intuition sucks. Almost everything she’s had a ‘great’ feeling about has turned around and burned her. Yet she still tries to follow it.

apophyllite: my muse's religious/spiritual beliefs

She honestly doesn’t know anymore. She was raised somewhat religious, because her mother was, but she definitely grew angry at God when her mom got sick, and violently so when she passed. Lately, though, she’s found some weird comfort in it being around her, which unsettles her in a way because it had been so long since she had been comfortable with the topic of believing.

aquamarine: where my muse feels most calm/relaxed

That’s a tough one, because she doesn’t relax that well on her own. She does her best to always keep a guard up.

biotite: the biggest problems my muse is currently dealing with

Her depression, and slipping back into heavy drinking.

bloodstone: how my muse sees themself as part of the world at large

Nothing. She doesn’t see herself as anything significant to anyone, and it wouldn’t matter if she was around or not.

calcite: my muse's social tendencies (introverted vs extroverted, parties vs one-on-one conversations, etc.)

She’s definitely a party creature, but she also enjoys one-on-ones because the conversations tend to be more stimulating than a room full of most likely drunk people getting excited over the next song to come on.

carnelian: an art-related headcanon

She’s been trying to draw a suitable chest piece for herself lately, but she’s hated every drawing. She’s also better at music than she’ll admit to, down to even knowing how to basically get around a studio.

celestite: how my muse deals with anxiety

The past week or so, it’s been drinking, which was her usual. But, she’s trying other things such as meditation and just sitting outside for a while. Then there’s also weed, which actually was prescribed for her anxiety.

chalcedony: the saddest my muse has ever been

The day her mother was cremated, because it was an end in a way, but also her husband wasn’t beside her supporting her. Instead, he was off doing whatever and pretty much just told her it’s a part of life and deal with it.

chalcopyrite: how my muse deals with ending relationships

She tries to be honest, especially if she’s not feeling anything deeper than lust and appreciation for attention. She honestly hasn’t been in many, though, and the other two she was in ended horribly.

charoite: who my muse looks up to

She honestly looks up to James. He comes off seeming much more put together than she is, even though he probably isn’t, but she wishes she could put off that impression. She also strongly looks up to her mother as well, because her mother did everything necessary to make sure that Jae never suffered growing up. In a way, she sees a little bit of her mother’s attitude in James.

chrysocolla: a money-making headcanon

Her job right now. It’s helped her get a damn good apartment, helped her keep a car she adores, and even after bills, she still has enough for her and Aleksi to live very comfortably without even a hint of struggle. Jae doesn’t aspire to be rich, and she feels insanely lucky that she has the job she has.

copper: how I think my muse will end up when they're older

Honestly, I think she’ll get more bitter. As I said before, she takes a lot more to heart than she really should, and she allows it to form scales that she tries to harden. It makes her try to be skeptical of people, and so I just see her as being one of those bitter people with a lot of regrets.

coral: how my muse views the natural world

She finds the natural world absolutely amazing. She almost obsessed with having access to outdoors, and almost regrets that she lives in a city that’s crowded and packed with people without a hint of forests or something.

diamond: a sex headcanon

Unless she has absolutely been worn out to the point of passing out, it’s pretty much a guarantee that she’s going to grab her panties and put them back on.

dolomite: a sleep headcanon

She constantly wakes up during the night, and she shifts positions like a million times before finally passing out.

emerald: how my muse tells someone they love them without words

She suddenly has a lot of patience and will do almost anything to be at their side.

fluorite: what my muse's room looks like

There’s a desk in the corner, a bed against the windows, and clothes all in the floor in front of the dresser by the door.

fossil: what my muse's dream job is

Recently discovered, but she’s pretty sure her dream job is to be a band manager.

galena: what it's like to be in a relationship with my muse

A lot of secrets. It doesn’t matter if you’re her boyfriend, husband, or bestfriend. If it’s something she knows she’ll get a serious scolding for, she’s going to hide it. She also can’t bring herself to be open about what goes on in her head, so it always takes prodding to get it out. More than just ‘what’s up’ or ‘how are you’. In a way, it’s because she wants proof that the other is sincere about her, but she also just tucks things away in order to keep moving forward. She’s also very much into sex, and while it’s not this top priority, at some point she’s going to definitely start expecting it. It’s important to her, though she’s not sure if she would end a relationship if all that was lacking was sex. Also, she’s a brat. Not a spoiled brat, but a brat.

garnet: what my muse's perfect partner would be

Someone who sees her for who she is, and doesn’t find it essential to show her off like a diamond or something. Someone who takes their relationship seriously enough and understand that being in a relationship isn’t just a ‘friends with benefits and a fancy title’. And someone who can be patient and handle her, because she’s a lot. She just is.

gold: my muse's financial situation

It’s comfortable. She isn’t struggling for food or to pay the bills, and has enough left over to still do awesome extra things.

hematite: how squeamish my muse is

She’s not very squeamish until it comes to surgery, stitches, staples, and things like that. She can handle a guy puking on himself, but not someone getting a small wound sewn shut.

hiddenite: how much of an "inner child" my muse has

I wanna say she’s childlike all the way around, so her inner child is rather strong.

iolite: my muse's drinking habits

Better than they used to be, but it’s going downhill again.

jade: if my muse would ever cheat on a partner

If the relationship was entirely on good terms, and she didn’t feel neglected, no way in hell would she cheat.

jasper: what my muse would be like as a parent

She’s far from mom of the year, but she does her best to give Aleksi everything, and is even trying to plan on making sure she keeps giving him everything from the best schools, to a house he can grow up in when he starts school, to keeping his mind as open as possible. She does the best she can, and it never feels tiring.

kyanite: an anger headcanon

Smashing. She smashes whatever is closest to her, or whatever she’s pissed off at. Whichever is accessible.

lapis lazuli: where 'home' is to my muse

She doesn’t know anymore, because nowhere is comfortable anymore. Familiar, but nothing’s comfortable enough to call home.

lodestone: what kind of people gravitate towards my muse

Hell if I know. She’s been friends with all kinds of people.

malachite: what my muse as a child thought they would be when they grew up

She never knew. She wasn’t one of those kids that knew what she wanted to be or had a goal like that. Nothing just ever appealed to her like that.

mica: what my muse views as their worst personality trait

Her mouth, because it tends to go off before she can even think of the words.

moonstone: my muse's opinions on outer space

She thinks it’s one of those things that people never seem to look at in the right way. Everyone seems to focus on being among it, or going to it when in reality we already are all of that. So we should just admire the view that we have, and adore it.

mother of pearl: if my muse tends to lift people up or bring them down

She tries to life them up, but she feels more like she brings them down ultimately.

nebula stone: how good my muse's memory is

Her memory is not that great. It’s very selective, honestly.

obsidian: which of the seven deadly sins my muse would be

Lust, because she always wants.

opal: how creative my muse is

She can come up great ideas and stories, but she never actually puts anything into action.

pearl: a mental health headcanon

Her deep depression that feels like a losing battle.

petalite: what my muse would do if they found a wallet on the street

She’d honestly just leave it.

pyrite: a physical health headcanon

Her immune system is better now than when she was a kid, but she still gets minor illnesses almost constantly.

quartz: how my muse thinks other people see them

As an obnoxious child they feel the need to babysit because she doesn’t take even decent care of herself.

rhodonite: if my muse prefers elegance or convenience

Convenience. Fuck the frills.

rubellite: if my muse has any 'triggers' that inspire painful memories

Funerals.

ruby: a happiness headcanon

When she got Aleksi back for good. She honestly had never been happier a single day in her life.

sapphire: if everyone my muse knew was hanging off a cliff and they could only choose three to save, the rest certainly dying, who they would choose

Aleksi, James, and her grandmother.

serpentine: how my muse would seduce another [alt: how my muse makes their money]

Uhm...She’d basically offer a lapdance or sex. She’s not very good at flirting.

silver: if my muse prefers masculinity or femininity

For herself, she prefers femininity. In a partner, she prefers masculinity.

tsavorite: if my muse believes in destiny or fate

She wishes she didn’t.

ulexite: how empathetic/sympathetic/compassionate my muse is

She’s very sympathetic, she just has issues actually reaching out to people and making that known. She’s afraid of everyone, honestly, and it overrides the urge to reach out.

unakite: what my muse's ideal pet would be

Thor and Bragi.

verdite: my muse's ethnicity/family history

She’s Korean on her mother’s side. On her father’s side, she Hungarian/Russian/Finnish.

zebra stone: what gets my muse excited

Attention and her son.

zoisite: does my muse believe everything's going to work out for them in the end or not?

Not everything. She doesn’t believe everything will work out, and it’s starting to cause her to give up on a lot of things and fuel her depression.

#boujeelowlife

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mtwy · 8 years ago

Photo

People Weekly

USA May 13th 1985

Even when I was a little girl, I knew I wanted the whole world to know who I was, to love me and be affected by me. - Madonna

She’s tart but delicious, she’s campy but coy, she’s the pop world embodiment of personality-as-art. She is, of course, rock’s Madonna, that bad girl of boy dreams and bawdy snatcher of hearts. And she is now something more as well; the biggest star to hit the stage since the Boss left town for Europe and the Gloved One went home to his pets.

On her first-ever concert tour - a 28 city trek that hits Atlanta May 14th and Cleveland the 16th - the reigning queen of kitchy-coo has been drawing crowds faster than a Good Humor truck in a heat wave. After the first three shows, the demand for tickets was so intense that the tour - originally scheduled for small venues - was hastily rebooked to include some main arenas. New York’s 5,800 seat Radio City Music Hall sold out three shows within half an hour of announcing Virgin Tour ticket sales, and females from 12 to 21, wearing stretch lace, mini-skirts and Merry Widows, outnumbered men in the rush to scalpers.

What they’re calmoring to see is a woman who looks like Marilyn Monrow and dances like Elvis Presley in a spectacle as tightly choreographed as a Rockette routine. Onstage Madonna swims, frugs and jerks so energetically, she just may inspire a renaissance of those silly 60′s dances. She also writhes, wiggles, shimmies her semi-liquid assets and gleefully misbehaves. No female rocker (except perhaps Tina Turner in her Ike days) ever whipped up such an erotic frenzy.

Look deper and you find more than a hot new rock act and - though her work in the $16-million box office surprise Desperately Seeking Susan has placed her squarely in the Hollywood firmament of the moment - more than a hot new movie star.

Consider the way she deals in real life with her friend Prince, even as they are supposed to be (read: weren’t, aren’t, never considered) having an affair. When the 5′3″ marvel of Minneapolis and his unusual gang of muscle showed up in San Francisco for her recent date, Madonna (5′4″) went calling, accompanied by her bodyguard. As the elevator door opened on his floor, she declared: “Well, time to go visit the midget,” Later, she castigated him for his attitude: “He usually wants to be treated the exact opposite of the way he is dressed. His outfits say touch me, lick me, love me, lust me, but then he pretends he’s wearing a monk’s outfit. He needs to step back, look at his clothing and laugh at it. “Is this any way to talk about royalty?

For Madonna, yes, it is: This is exactly what she is about in Susan, what she represents onstage and why she seems now (with indulgance from the gods of hyperbole) the figurehead of something close to a movement. This “Boy Toy” thinks men, like all experiences, are to be seized, enjoyed, used and, when used up, forgotten. In Madonna’s world, yuppie women in suits and bow ties need not apply, though they may - as Rosanna Arquette does as Susan - press their noses at the window and consider their options. In the movie, Arquette’s bored housewife comes to envy, then emulate, Madonna’s free-form life-style. You do not have to stretch far to see in its portrait of suburban ennui a swipe at preppy-yuppie value systems. After whipping up the crowd with her hit Like a Virgin, when Madonna shouts out “Will you marry me?” and they scream back “Yes!,” there is in that call-and-response that feel of liturgy, the sense of a new faith aborning.

It is no wonder that critic Judith Crist said of Susan’s Madonna that she seems to be “dripping self-confident savvy from every pore and glitter spot.” The act, see, isn’t an act - always the best kind. Anna Levine, who plays Susan’s friend Crystal in the film, remembers that Madonna “had a very clear vision of her character, which other people didn’t always have, so they left her as Madonna.” She did her own hair and makeup and charged the role with her own chemistry: “A certain kind of attitude toward the world,” says Mark Blum, who plays Arquette’s husband in the film. “It’s all hers. Anything she wants, she gets, and I suppose there’s something there that helps young girls think, ‘I don’t have to be coy anymore. I can be like Madonna and just go out and take whatever I want.’”

It’s worked for Madonna, 26, to whom Hollywood now beckons like the world’s bigest toy chest, awaiting her pleasure. Producer Ray Stark has a film for her (”She really projects a feeling of truth and energy in her persona like the stars of the 40′s,” he says), and so does director Herb Ross, who turned her down for Loris Singer’s role in Footloose. “There is definite buzz about her,” he says now “it reminds me of what was happening to Barbra Streisand just before we did Funny Girl.” Another producer is making noises about using her in an updated Cinderella. (Very updated, evidently). At concerts her per capita sales of T-shorts and memorabilla are among the highest in rock history. “She sells more than Springsteen, the Rolling Stones or Duran Duran,” says Dell Furano, the concession merchandiser for her tour. At her San Francisco date, $20 T-shirts sold at the rate of one every six seconds. All this Madonna finds no more than she deserves. After her tour’s triumphant debut in Seattle early last month, she playfully raised a glass of bubbly and proposed a toast to “we who rule the universe.”

Cocky words from one who, just four years ago, was shopping her demo tapes to dance-club deejays. A Michigan native who had moved to New York’s tough Lower East Side, Madonna had little in the way of showboz credits then; a fleshy role in a never released underground film, a short stint as a chantuese in a band called the Breakfast Club. She plowed through boyfriends like party snacks, knocked on record company doors until her knuckles turned blue and finally found an audience for her tapes at a disco club. As her audience grew, so did her sense of confidence. “If I seem nonchalant about success,” she said, “It’s because I knew it was going to happen.”

Her boy for now is actor Sean Penn, 24. “She’s really serious about him and sees it could be a lot easier for her if she had some permanent anchor in her private life,” says a friend. Still, that doesn’t stop her from playfully leaving port on occassion. When she invited singer David Lee Roth to attend her L.A party, he asked, “Should I bring a date or will I be busy later?” Madonna’s reply: “Sure, bring a date. We can all do something.”

Such invitations, delivered graphically if less explicitly onstage, do draw a crowd. As her popularity has increased (she had her first Top Ten pop song in June), so has her phalanx of security guards. Says her bodyguard Clay Tave, who once helped protect Michael Jackson, “I can feel it happening again. Pretty soon the jogging and window-shopping - we;’re going to have to give that up.” Good luck trying to convince Madonna, whose days begin with a six-mile run, after which she goes through an aerobics workout and several laps in a pool. And she’s very much the boss of her road show - attending all sound checks and barking orders. “I can throw a fit,” she boasts. “I;m a master at it.”

Yes, assuredly, in matters large and small, Madonna will be heard. Not everyone will like the message. Laurie Metcalf, who plays Susan’s sister-in-law, has real problems with “that kind of disrespectful bad-girl image that comes across as free and exciting. I don’t know that it should be put across to kids all the time.” She probably speaks for most of the mothers of America. Madonna asks for a little slack here; she’s not endorsing vice and mayhem, she says, just putting on a show: “I know the aspect of my personality, being the vixen, the heart-braker and the incredibly provocative girl is a very marketable image. But it’s not insincere. you just can’t take it seriously.”

Tell that to the enraptured 16 year old girl who came out of Madonna’s concert in L.A last month. “Madonna’s living out our fantasies,” she said. “She’s able to do something our parents would never let us get away with. The whole slut image. It’s usually just the guys who get to do that. But don’t quote me. My mother would kill me.”

#1985 #people #magazines #thevirginera

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