#my beloved mutuals have good takes on both tho

[woman-respecter]

seeing people who followed me bc i spoke out against antisemitism unfollow, block, and vague me because i’m being too feminist now, while watching people with mildly antisemitic posts follow me for my feminist content who will inevitably turn on me when i start being too jewish again…and this cycle will go on forever until everyone learns to respect women and jews.

[90sbee]

Pull the rope, choke me with your love.

Leon S. Kennedy x Fem!Reader 6k words (yeah, sorry not sorry). Also on a03

It feels like coming back to the surface, you think. Leon breathes loudly, panting. He kisses each boob once more, tenderly, resembling a “goodbye”. You look at his motions with half-lidded eyes, and you’re unable to move your gaze away when he detaches from your body, his hand re-emerging from your cunt with traces of your dried blood on his skin. You gasp but Leon barely notices it, rubbing the maroon strokes against his tactical pants swiftly, without any complaint, as if simply getting rid of paint after handling a canvas.

Both of you choose to delay the mission. Maybe it is because there is a confession that you can’t delay anymore.

I guess this is what happens when you get horny in your period. @navstuffs saw it first. @emilzke, you'd say you'd read something like this so, in case you feel like it! (No pressure tho,  mean it!!) Content: Smut. Period sex. Everybody is a switch. (Sub!Leon my beloved). Sex with feelings bc the mutual pining is strong. There is some plot but like, it's mostly smut, ngl. No use of y/n, tons of pet names. Stupid banter, age difference. DI!Leon specifically since I don't think any other version works? Hints of size kink, as usual. Coming in pants. Dry humping (sorry not sorry there is no actual penetration in here. They do have a good time tho. Multiple good times). Warnings: +18 ONLY. Have I already mentioned blood? Yeah, it's not that bloody tho, I promise. Hair pulling, crying during sex (i promise Leon was enjoying it, tho, no dorks were hurt in the writing of this fic), mentions of choking but no actual choking in here. Biting, scratching? I'm not a native English speaker so, apologies for any mistakes.

Being around Leon always felt like pulling a rope, the material tense, and tense, until letting go of the rope would cause you two to be hurt.

Oh, but what a delightful way to go that would be.

Missions with him would be easy. Well, as easy as putting your life on the line can be. His presence was always a blessing, a protective wall of a man always up to keep you safe. And he did it, numerous times he received cuts, and got bruises on his skin, and once even let his bicep —that one that he would always touch obsessively since then— kiss a bullet, everything to keep you safe.

Even out of missions, Leon was there. He would remain close, check on you. “Gotta make sure my partner is alright,” he’d say, and the way he’d accentuate his words would get you dizzy at times.

The rope felt more like a red string now.

Caging you, his warm body on top of yours now, barely attempting to remain prude.

“You’re gonna freeze to death,” he had said, closing the distance between you two. The whole mission today had been a fiasco, even if Leon had been eyeing you more intensely than other times, stepping closer, more protective than usual. It had actually been his idea to turn back when it became glaringly obvious that infiltrating into the building would take more hours than you had planned. Retracing steps, radioing for back-up that would take until the very next morning to show up with more ammo, and finishing with the directions to a nearby safe house, which was sadly devoid of anything helpful to endure a fall night like this. “Don’t worry, they say body heat is actually the best heater,” he’d teased you, as you buttoned up your light jacket. But when he’d actually pushed you onto the ground and clumsily climbed on top of you, you knew he was serious. And though it wasn’t the first time you two had ended up so close, bodies tangling in each other, it was the first time he seemed so devoted to get that physical contact.

You let him have that. The night is not that chilly, the morning is not so far away. In the bleak, scarce space of the cabin, there aren’t many options. Sure, you could spend the night talking yourselves awake, back to back. Or maybe one of you could rest their head on the other’s lap as the other keeps a lazy guard.

But you choose to be close. Fucking close, breathing in each others’ faces. You know by now that the rope is about to cut, that you’re going to end up crossing the limits, but for now, there is no stopping. In the secluded safe house, you let Leon breathe close to your ear, pretend you don’t realize what he may need. After all, you followed him way too compliant today, no ifs or buts about delaying the mission, resting your head against his shoulder as he radioed for the damned helicopter, letting your hand graze his on the way to the cabin.

Maybe neither of you want to wait anymore for the rope to break on its own.

“You okay?”

He sighs then. Brows furrowed as he nods, his expression serious.

“Yeah,” his voice is raspy, a lingering exhaustion dripping from his words. “Just wished we could have finished with this already…”

Your hands swiftly move to his back, fingers rubbing softly over the thin material of his jacket. Leon melts a little at that, breathing against your face. A soft growl escapes his throat when your hands move higher, pressing against the muscles of his shoulders.

At that, he does seem to feel a bit flustered, looking to the side, towards the rusty cabin door. You attempt to hide the chuckle that leaves your mouth.

“What’s so funny?” He snarks, his cheeks already pinker.

“You’re literally a whore, Kennedy.”

“Jeez,” he raises his eyebrows, finally looks back at you. “You’re being an absolute darling tonight, huh… ” he muses, a smirk crossing his face.

“It’s your fault. You’re the one that decided to get on top of me, unprompted.”

“… C’mon. You know we didn’t bring any camping equipment for this crap…  Just lemme take care of you.”

His explanation is, of course, true, but teasing him seems like a better pastime for this chilly night. “Well, still. I’m a lady with boundaries. Maybe I do not want a sweaty man on top of me.”

“Excuse me?” Leon licks his lips, his face leaning a little closer to yours now. “I’m not just a sweaty man, I’m your mission partner.”

“Yeah, my mission partner that decided to moan after I just massaged his back a little.”

“God, I did not moan,” he puffs out his cheeks, shaking his head.

“Well, maybe you should.”

A silence rings through the cabin as soon as you utter those words. Much to your surprise, but not regretting them. Leon stares at you, gaze unreadable as he tilts his head. You begin to feel a little nervous, your hands slowly abandoning his back.

Why would you even admit it that way? Too straightforward, too blunt. Yes, he is your mission partner, he’s got your back all these years but… What if it was just that? A good partner at work. Simply a kind man. The possibility of having confused his chivalry with affection makes you feel stupid.

You suddenly feel small under him, and you gulp, trying to squirm away from him.

“Wait, no. What did—what did you say?” He finally reacts, one of his hands cupping your cheek now.

“Nuthin’.”

“Didn’t sound like nuthin’ to me,” he presses.

Leon looks at you, and there is a new glimmer in his eyes. A certain hunger, encompassing his words and his presence. It invigorates you with a sort of bravery, and you nod, very slowly, your eyes not even leaving his. Your hands go back to their place, on his back, but this time under the jacket, under the grey t-shirt he is wearing. You observe his reaction, as a little prey seeing how much she can test the waters before death comes upon her.

His gaze moves away from your eyes, lower, until it reaches your lips. And then your hands ascend on the skin of his back, scratching slowly.

“F—fuck,” is the only thing he can manage out before his lips descend onto yours, kissing clumsily, biting the tender flesh with desperation.

The rope has fucking snapped now. You both know it. And it stings, but the burn is good, so fucking good, as his teeth bite harder, as if eager to make your lips bleed.

“Since… since when?” He demands, catching his breath.

“Don’t be fucking stupid. Since always,” you reply, kissing him once more, already missing the taste of his spit, the roughness of his mouth.

It’s as if oxygen was running out of the room, mind dizzy with him, his smell, his hands now attempting to reach under your t-shirt, but you move away, mouths parting for a moment. Leon stops, a question in his eyes. He knows you. He knows the way you react, can notice that he hasn’t overstepped anything, that your trembling figure is still comfortable under him.

“Just… you. Lemme… lemme touch you,” you try to explain, in a daze, hands now gripping his hips, and he groans against your ear. You take off his jacket, strong arms getting caressed while you do so. Leon breathes heavily as your fingers dance on his jaw, as your mouth licks his neck.

“Shit,” he lets out, every single pleasure point in his body reacting to your actions.

God, he has wanted you for so long. Trapped between his job and the impossibility to properly care for you, to have you in the way he actually desired you, he had promised himself to protect you. In and out of missions, a shadow always behind you. If he would have nothing else in his life, so be it. Just your presence would be enough. His heart is thumping, rattling loudly in his chest as the woman he’s adored for so long presses her affections on his skin.

He moans louder, hides his face against your shoulder. Lower, his cock twitches, rapidly filling up with desire.

“C’mon… Grind on me, Leon,” you murmur, words sweet as a spell.

God, if this was a dream he’d never want to wake up. And if he had somehow died, this was better than any Heaven he could have imagined.

“What are y—are you fucking serious?” He tries to inquire through heavy breaths, already losing his mind. It doesn’t even cross his mind if you would want to go further, if he could sink deep inside you, but rather, his brain is mush from just the idea of having you like this. Fuck it, your invitation sounds like a blessing to him.

“Please… You’re so good to me…” you add, needy.

He growls again, but in the way a wounded animal tries to scare its hunter away. He is fucking broken, deliriously split apart into a thousand pieces because of you. At your feet, drunk in your smell and your minx-like hands.

You move your pelvis, legs interlocking around his hips, the feel of your cargo pants against the hardness between his legs making you whine.

God damn. He is already hard anyway.

Leon obliges, as if enchanted by you, unable to refuse such a delicious proposal. Your hips move in tandem with his, and his hard cock aches in his pants, grinding slowly against your clothed cunt.

“Fuck,” he whines out, as your fingers then graze the skin on his back once more, deliriously making him lose his mind. “Gonna kill me, huh?”

You bite his jaw once more, wetness pooling between your legs with every moment. It is funny, how hours before the dark cabin seemed to be a cold refuge, yet now it seems to ooze warmth, sweaty bodies full of desire.

And though this Heaven seems way more than a man like him could bargain for in a hundred lives of sainthood, Leon breathes heavily, suddenly aware that this might be wrong. It might be, since you’re younger than him, and he has been your mission partner and you two work together and mission partners cannot be involved and—

“No, we—we shouldn’t…” he stills himself then, voice heavy.

You look up at him, gentle eyes blessing him from underneath his body.

God. You look so beautiful and his heart is gonna jump out of his chest and he wants to continue but you will surely agree, right? You’re too young, too soft of a creature for someone so broken like him and—

“Why?” you caress his back slowly, tilting your head.

The openness of the question throws him off his mind.

“Well, we… I mean… I…”

“We can stop if you need it,” you quickly add, nodding. You want him, yeah, but most importantly, you respect him. It is the least he has earned, after all his loyalty throughout the years.

He gulps, and shakes his head.

“No, I do want it… I just—” Leon huffs, licking his lips, still in disbelief.

“Leon… I want you. Been waiting for this… Been craving you,” you try to explain it in devotion terms, a language you’ve both shared for a while. He seems more relaxed at this, and hides his face on the crook of your neck, his breathing steadier as you stroke his back.

“I promise… Promise it’s not just about…” he begins, but you nod.

“… I know. I mean… I imagined so,” you admit, belly heating up not just from his weight on top of yours.

A confession.

He stays quiet for a moment, arms flexing as he changes his position, lets himself fall a little closer to you. It’s clear he won’t ask for it again, but god, you do want to give it to him. Boner already needy, body too vulnerable to be left like this.

Once more, you do it for him. Move your hips gently, chasing the pressure he provides against your cunt. Leon then moans, kissing your neck.

“I… I can?” he asks, tentatively.

“Yes, please.”

He won’t ask more, no need to ask twice. Though his brain may be hazy and overwhelmed by your perfume, he knows nothing could compel him to stop this, not now that he knows you want him.

Your hands return to his back, scratching the skin harshly, noticing how his breath hitches.

“Oh, god,” he coos, closing his eyes. His pelvis dancing harder against yours, movements faster.

Leon finds your mouth once again, trying to kiss his shame away since he already feels so close. In between the fact that he hadn’t had sex in a long while and the fact that, heck, it’s you… He is trying his hardest to stretch the moment, to not ruin it already…

But you do notice it, of course. When you pull apart one of your hands goes to his jaw, forcing him to look at you.

“Leon.”

“Fuc—yeah?”

“Ask me… ask me for anything you want… You deserve to feel good.”

He fucking growls at that, so entranced by your words. His hips suddenly stopping for a moment, his heartbeat accelerating.

He has almost come.

“Pull my hair, please,” he breathes out after he is sure he can continue for a bit more.

Swiftly, your hand moves to his hair, grabbing a strand at the back, near his nape and pull hard.

“Oh, fuck,” his movements are faster now, cock rubbing too harshly against his underwear and his pants but he needs it, needs you so much. You pull his hair once more, your other hand clawing at his back as you also grind against him, the spot between your legs already dampened.

The sensation feels like too much and not enough at once. It hurts from how sensitive his member is, rubbing himself raw against your legs, but oh god. You offer him the hottest sight he has had the pleasure of witnessing in his life.

He presses his face against your neck once more, panting next to your ear, unaware that he is painting your skin with his own tears.

“Gonna come… Fuck, gonna come,” he cries out, moving faster and at some point you grind against him too, pressure becoming too much as you pull his hair and, fuck.

His elbows almost give up, unable to hold himself properly on top of you, but he avoids crushing you with all his weight still, as he rides out his orgasm, now tasting the salty tears he had spilt.

Leon breathes heavily… but he doesn’t want to stop.

Quickly, his mouth sinks on your neck, kissing and biting, causing moans to leave your throat.

“Le—Leon,” you pant, body sensitive and wetness already ruining your pants.

“Need to touch you… please? Need to taste you…” he begs, and one of his hands goes to your belt, buckle released as he nears your zipper…

You groan then, in frustration, and he frowns, gaze back on your eyes.

“What is it?”

“I’m… I’m on my period,” you admit, barely a whisper.

You look at him, shame crossing your features, the bitter reminder that your body may have ruined the moment that you have dreamed about for so long. “Sorry,” you add, voice timid.

“Hey, no, no apologies,” he immediately coos, his hand travelling to cup your cheek. He looks at you with an immense softness from his glistening eyes, full of love. Leon sighs before moving forward, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

“Would you like to stop?” He asks, close to your mouth.

Your thoughts are hazy, body still churning from inside. It’s clear that you don’t want that option but you’re unsure on how to proceed under this situation.

Leon rests his forehead against you, his face awaiting for your reply. There is no rush in his tone, quite the opposite in fact. He looks at you as if willing to stare at you for his whole life, existence content with just the sight of you. That gives you more confidence, even with the threat of uncertainty on the horizon: you trust him. You trust him more than anyone else.

You shake your head.

“Good girl,” he praises you. “I’ll just make you feel good, take care of you, okay?”

His voice is raspy, but soft, resembling his touch. A little harsh, a little rough as he pulls the zipper down and wriggles your pants down. Yet the pads of his fingers are exquisitely tender, caressing your thighs. Your underwear sports a huge damp spot just in your gusset, but Leon seems blissfully willing to ignore it, even through your heavy breaths.

He moves lower, pulls your t-shirt up slowly, immediately kissing the flesh of your hips.

“Fuck,” you mutter, curving your back.

“Attagirl,” he moves to kiss the other hip, biting slowly.

You moan then, skin shivering under his motions, his touch.

“… You’re teasing.”

Leon chuckles, kissing near your navel as he rubs your sides and your arms.

“You know, I don’t hear you complaining, though.”

Ah, he is acting cocky now. You giggle, amused at his remark, while one of his hands rubs your inner thigh.

“Bet you’re so frustrated that you can’t touch more,” you shake your head, looking down at him.

“Who said I can’t touch more?” Leon says, raising his eyebrow.

“Wh—Oh,” you try to ask what he has in mind when he swiftly moves his hand straight to your cunt, rubbing your clit over your panties. “F—fuck.”

The sonofabitch… You close your eyes, body slowly tensing under his touch. Leon rubs a little faster for a moment, and you move your hips, breath hitching in your throat.

“This okay, baby?” he checks, motions slower and gentler.

“Yeah… Yeah,” you open your eyes, nodding. He looks up at you, places a kiss on your belly once more. Your hand moves to tangle in his hair, needing something to ground yourself before you get lost in him.

“I got you, I got you,” he says, gentle, so fucking gentle you could melt in his hands, as snow under a strong relentless midday sun. You sigh, trying not to overthink your situation, how at any point your body could embarrass you, end up staining your panties with blood or…

“You’re nervous,” Leon says, serious.

“I’m not,” but your voice is a little shaky.

He snarks. “Can’t make you come unless you relax… Do you trust me?” Leon moves closer, leaning forward, almost against your face once more though he never stops rubbing your clit. The motions make you delirious, contact too soft but so good… You mewl, dizzy.

“I do. I trust you.”

“Good,” he remarks, and he kisses you. You notice his hand moving from your panties to your back, his mouth biting your lips with delicacy as Leon unclasps your bra. You whine at that, but he keeps on kissing you, his presence overtly strong and reassuring on top of you. Yet he doesn’t feel overwhelming, but rather, comforting. Like a wall against which to rest, like a pouring rain after a dry summer.

You think you love him. You’re quite sure you did before, but when he moves his mouth lower, biting your jaw and licking your neck as his thumb gets lost under your panties, you’re certain that no man could ever own you in the way he does. Handling your body with the most utter softness, as if dealing with a piece of Heaven. His thumb dances between your legs, stopping just on your clit, and Leon starts circling it, again, and again, and again…

“Oh, shit,” you moan, your heartbeat racing. You can barely keep your eyes open, overwhelmed by his devotion. His touch is desperate, even more heightened by how much he licks your neck, kisses it.

“Doll, look at me,” his words are heavy and clingy.

“Ye—Yeah?” you feel so utterly broken already. Leon moves his thumb faster, the circles making you moan once more.

“Want to use my mouth, can I? Please?”

By now you don’t know what he means, but you immediately nod. Like you’d do during missions, when you would simply take a leap of faith, you let yourself jump with him, letting him guide you to wherever he deems more appropriate.

You already trust him with your life. What difference could this make?

“God… so gorgeous,” he beckons, more to himself than to you, smiling. He quickly moves your t-shirt and bra out of the way, before diving his mouth to your breasts. There, he licks, and kisses, tongue painting your nipples with his saliva, as if blessing your body with his sin, letting you shower in his desire.

“Fuck, Leon…”

He continues moving his thumb gently, and you’re about to moan when you feel his middle and ring finger dancing on your lips, toying with your entrance. “Shit” more of a complaint, your tone raspy. His thumb presses harder against your clit as the other couple of fingers keep the sweet motions, never diving inside you. The thought of him probably getting his fingers messed up with your blood crosses your mind, but then Leon bites your nipple, before lovingly pulling it between his teeth. His thumb is now moving faster, circles rougher on your most sensitive spot, as the other fingers keep teasing your opening.

Your moans are the loudest symphony filling up the room, mixed in with the way he whines, mouth obsessed with your breasts. You curl your back, your hips getting hazy and desperate as Leon increases the speed of his movements.

You wished you knew which good deed you committed in another life to be blessed in this way now. As careful as possible, you grab onto him, as your hips are now dancing against his thumb, chasing after his touch. You’re half-breathless by now. You scratch his back, his arms, sink your nails into his nape as he bites the other nipple, sucking it harshly.

“Gonna come, God….” you whine out, thighs trembling under him.

“Good… Please, come for me,” his tone is the farthest thing from a command, but it seems to drive you exactly there. The way he desires you, desires this so fucking intensely… The heat in your stomach sweeps away with everything as he licks around your nipple and his finger toys with your clit once more. You melt under his touch, coming obscenely loud for him.

And the worst thing is that he continues, his mouth hungry still, his fingers circling, rubbing up and down your abused flesh, until you cough under him, unable to whimper anymore.

“It’s… Need a pause,” you let out, barely able to utter words yet.

It feels like coming back to the surface, you think. Leon breathes loudly, panting. He kisses each boob once more, tenderly, resembling a “goodbye”. You look at his motions with half-lidded eyes, and you’re unable to move your gaze away when he detaches from your body, his hand re-emerging from your cunt with traces of your dried blood on his skin. You gasp but Leon barely notices it, rubbing the maroon strokes against his tactical pants swiftly, without any complaint, as if simply getting rid of paint after handling a canvas.

He doesn’t fucking care. A man used to dealing with death, and grim and pain. It’s not the first time that he’s felt the warmth of your blood, as he has patched you up after the most gruesome missions, as he has held your bloody hand after you cut it with a sharp glass at home. He doesn’t fucking care, but rather he feels relieved, the comfortable knowledge that, this time, the blood has nothing to do with you being hurt. This time your blood doesn’t feel like knives digging into his skin, him boiling with concern. It’s just a warm reminder that you’re safe, and alive, and that he is finally touching you in the place where’s imagined himself drowned with you a hundred times already.

This is real. Leon is not dreaming, not this time.

You breathe out, calmer, his gaze feeling like returning home.

You’re still catching your breath when he leans closer, kissing your forehead.

“You okay?” he mumbles out, concern in his tone.

“More than okay,” you smirk.

Leon chuckles, amused. He lets his body fall on top of yours, still in between your legs, and he searches for your hand: takes it in his, the thumb that so much pleasure had brought you now caressing your palm.

“Babe…” his voice is sultry, and as he moves your thighs open with his own, you immediately notice the hardness pressing against your leg. Still, the contact seems too much for him, and he whimpers against your neck, his actions devoid of any shame.

“Damn, Kennedy, again?” you tease under him, cheeky stare defying him as he looks at you.

“Mhmh,” he replies. “I understand if you don’t want me inside, but…”

You cut him off with a wheeze. “Fucking subtle you are.”

“Hey, you want me to be fucking explicit?”

“Sure, let’s hear it, big guy,” you hold his hand tighter, as if prompting him to attempt anything, but immediately his cheeks go a few shades pinker. “Ow, getting shy on me?”

“You’re being fucking cocky for someone who just had an orgasm. Maybe I should give you another one to see if you calm down,” he lets out, eyes deeply boring into yours.

“Is that the special treatment you give to the ladies you sleep with, huh?”

“No, just you,” he replies, gallant.

You can’t say you don’t want it. Leon kisses you again, his tongue licking your lips and you moan for him. He squeezes your hand as his other hand goes between your bodies, to his zipper. You can barely notice the belt unbuckled, the zipper falling down. He bites your lower lip and maneuvers his pelvis closer to yours.

Fuck it. He just wants you. Whatever the duration of that miracle is, he wants to enjoy it, to pleasure you again, to be as close as the moment allows it. Even if this was the last time in his life he has you, he would commit this sight —of you under him— to memory.

He loves you: wants to get you drunk on him, on his body. A silent conjuring, a way to win you over. Because God knows you have him wrapped around your finger, red string of yours choking him as he devours that notion, of being owned. A fucking dog on a leash, and even if that was just a mere strained rope, he’d paint it red with your blood, force all heavens and hells to make you two work, intertwined by the same unbreakable bond.

The cabin feels suffocating. Leon kisses your neck, murmurs praises against your skin. It is overwhelming, and gentle, and so much and he hasn’t even started yet. Sighing next to your cheek, he grabs your thigh, pulling your pants even lower, adjusting his covered boner just against your cunt, and your breath hitches in your throat.

“Oh, God,” you let out, squeezing his hand even harder, since he hasn’t let go of you. It is an anchor as you experience this, as the cold breeze that enters the room kisses your nipples.

“You’re still with me? I can go gentle. Just want us to feel good, won’t ask for anything more,” he asks, moving his hips slowly against you, contact electrifying even if you’re both still wearing your underwear. You nod, eagerly, and he sinks his body closer once more. You grip onto his shoulders bringing him even closer as his hips slowly dance against you.

By now, all concerns, all fears are simply gone. In the humble little moment that you’re both sharing, there is no place for anything else apart from the devotion you hold for each other. Leon kisses you, needy, as his member rubs against your clothed clit, and his mouth seems to replicate his needs, with how delirious his tongue makes you feel.

“Fuck, Leon,” you mewl, mouths parting just to breathe once more. He smirks, his eager mouth kissing your jaw, your neck.

“You don’t know how long I have waited for… for this. For you,” and the way he says it gives you goosebumps that have nothing to do with the cold air that enters the cabin.

“Leon…” you pull him closer, as close as he can be. His body is practically on top of yours, his member rubbing faster against you.

“Mine,” he asserts, remarking his words with another squeeze of his hand. The other one grabs your thigh, opens your legs more so he can lock himself even closer, grinding harder.

The air makes him dizzy, the sight of your willing body under him gets his heart wild. Fucking hell, he has already came in his pants once, is he gonna do it once more just from humping your cunt? Leon whines, the feel of your hard nipples against his t-shirt making him lose his mind. And when you touch his back again, just like earlier, he moans.

He doesn’t care what happens to this mission, doesn’t care what happens to the rest of the evils of this world as long as he can see your precious face like this, as much as he desires it. This thought pushes him forward, and he starts to move his hips faster.

“God, god, oh, shit, Le…” you whine out, his motions rough as he chases his own pleasure too. But it feels so good, even if it hurts a little, even if your soaked panties do nothing to protect your decency by now, even if period droplets are probably leaking out of your panties.

You don’t want it to ever stop. Desperate, you let your hand go from his grip and hold him against your body with abandon, fingers directly against his skin, keeping him there. Leon growls at this, understand your needs and humps you faster, biting your neck, half-breathless.

It’s such a stark contrast to the way you two always treat each other, both on the field and on your day to day. It as if now that the veil is gone, that everything has fucking snapped, there was a certain aggressiveness that needed to be let out, that was always under the surface, ramping up, eager to crawl out of you. But it’s also full of passion, as his teeth never mark you too much, and your nails don’t draw blood from his skin.

Maybe you two needed this: a love that was a little broken, a little violent. A tender purging of your sins.

A connection born out of loyalty, out of blood.

You moan loudly when his movements get messy, rhythm getting distracted.

“Please, hold it in for me?” you beg, unable to ignore the signals of his desire. “Just a little bit” you add, knowing that you just need his rough touch for a moment longer, your body still craving his magic.

Leon nods, panting.

“I’m gonna—gonna come soon,” he warns you, trying to not let his cock ruin the path of euphoria he wants you to walk.

“It’s okay, me too, Le.”

“…Fuck,” he whimpers, and you pull his hair once more, your legs hugging his hips.

His thoughts are all mush thanks to you, but he can still hear how the sweetest moans escape your mouth, so he keeps going. Too sensitive, too hard, underwear soaked, but he continues for you. At some point his member rubs against your clit, harshly, and it is too much for you.

You kiss him, moaning into his mouth as you come, panties gushing out your juices and even some more specks of blood. Your whole body spasming, unable to keep quiet.

God. His pretty angel, his pretty girl, the most deserving of eternal springs and of the most devoted love. Leon has always felt you owned him. Not trapped, but rather at peace with you. Fuck, he is certain now. You carry a fucking leash, tied around his neck and he has no choice but to follow you, stay beside you. Both a shadow and a lover, stupid smitten dog but he wants to guard you forever.

He has wanted to hung up the Moon for you since the moment he met you, so when he finally sees your blissed-out expression, the moonlight caressing your face, he feel like he deserves it.

Not just this. But you.

His cock is leaking precum, it aches, needs to let go. He pushes harder, knows that he can, because you let him, because you scratch his back and search for his mouth as he grinds harshly against you.

He comes. Hard, pouring his seed onto his boxers.

It’s as if he could die now.

Both of you sigh, slowly. Leon kisses the bitemarks on your neck, you press the pads of your fingers gently against all the scratches on his back. For a little moment, the world doesn’t breathe. Just lets the two lovers that have finally found each other revere in this contained breath.

All that needed to be said, to be done, to be pinched and purged and snapped, it’s finally out.

You caress Leon’s jaw, look at him through sleepy eyes.

“I think… Think mission partners don’t do that,” you say, voice raspy but a smile etched on your face.

Leon smiles as well, his heart overjoyed.

“Nope, they definitely don’t,” he replies, his eyes never leaving yours.

You chuckle.

“You’re okay?” You ask him, cupping his cheek and Leon closes his eyes, sighs.

“I should be asking you that, baby.”

You now have the decency to blush at the pet name. And when he opens his eyes, and kisses your palm, you feel like your chest could explode from holding so much light inside of it. Oh, he could call you anything and you’d just let him. He owns you. You’re pretty sure he does, that he painted his name with your blood on your cunt, a bloody and tender signature, marking you as his artwork, ruining you with his cum for anyone else.

“Is that pet name gonna stay?”

“Do you have any other ideas?” He asks, moving to stand up, but you giggle and pull him closer to you, your legs still holding him down. Leon wheezes.

“We can discuss pet names and the such after… a date. ‘Cos you owe me a date, Kennedy.”

“Oh, we’re really back to last names, now? Dang it,” he lets out, and you can only laugh.

He is a fucking dork. Always will be. Maybe what will be different from now onwards is that he will be yours.

That night you fall asleep in each other’s arms. Your underwear has been irreparably stained, his boxers as well, the zipper of his tactical pants does not zip up anymore. A constellation of lovebites, scratches and the remains of your period. All bloody and needy and most delicately violent.

Too rough. Too honeyed to survive you both.

Leon hugs you tightly in his arms, comfortably cuddling as if it isn’t the first time.

Maybe your bodies dreamed so much of this day that they both instinctively know how to position arms, how to tangle into each other as to breathe the other in.

Maybe no string was snapped tonight, but rather, you pulled it so much, that it sank deeper into your veins and just pulled you two impossibly closer.

If you've made it to the end, cookies for you! Also, may write more for this two, I liked the dynamic a lot. (I love soft dorky Leon, can you tell?)

[real-total-drama-takes]

Can you rate the Courtney ships mod courtney? Obviously there’s like a million but the more well known ones (gwen, heather, cody, scott, emma rr, bridgette, etc), i want to see your faves

Ok!

Gwourtney - 10/10 the definition of a yuri situationship. I love gwourtney in that context. Well, and every context. I love gwourtney but it’s so unserious. It’s hard for me to look at gwourtney and think that they’ll last longer than a week bc they have different opinions of eternal sunshine of a spotless mind or some bullshit

Duncney - 10/10 I have a huge soft spot for duncney. I shipped it when tdi was first coming out and i still love it to this day. I have so many thoughts about duncney i could write paragraph after paragraph about it. It was not handled well in canon i will be the first to admit that but i just. I lvoe it. Being 9 and watching the duncney kiss live on tv was just. Ugh. You had to be there ok. I get ppl not shipping it or even liking it bc eugh it gets bad but in a time pre-TDA you have to understand it was 🔛🔝

Heathney - 1000/10 MY FAVORITE!!! heathney solos. Heather and Courtney are just perfect together. They’re both a little evil and I love that for them. They would take over the world. They’ve both got strategy-oriented mindsets and they’re both super critical but in very different ways. Heathney is the best of opposites attract and great minds. Heather and courtney have so much to bond over. I have so much more to say but I don’t want to write a whole book here lol

Scottney - 10/10 scottney is good. I don’t love it though. It really feels like an afterthought in tdas. If there had been real effort into developing their relationship, it could have easily been amazing. I will say I love how so much of tdas is Duncan kissing gwen & being like “DO YOU THINK COURTNEY IS WATCHING?” And Courtney’s too busy dating an idiot ginger who eats dirt.

Bridgney - 10/10 Bridgney my beloved. I’m really big on friends to lovers as a trope. Mutual pining on your best friend is just. Oh god its so good. It’s such a rarepair though and i get it, since a lot of other courtney ships are more “dynamic”. But bridgney is so good. I feel like it’s the ship courtney would feel the most “peaceful” in. And courtney would nudge bridgette out of her comfort zone. And i love that for them.

Emmaney (courtemma?) - ?/10 i like Emma/courtney bc i kin courtney and i have a crush on Emma. I think they would be very competitive in a relationship though and that could easily get out of hand tho. I could easily see them hooking up when they’re in law school lol. I never read Emma/courtney fics tbh if anyone has any recs send me them

Courdy - ???/10 where did courdy come from? Courtney deserves better than cody she’s so slay and hes so cringe

Justney (justin/courtney) - 10/10 honestly I feel like this one is criminally underrated. Justin’s crush on courtney in TDA is really cute. The fact that likes her because she’s a strong competitor & is deeply fascinated by her is just… I really like it. It feels like justin appreciates courtney for who she is and loves how unhinged she could be. In this regard they actually have a lot in common and I think Courtney would really like him if she gave him the time of day lol

Alecourtney - 10/10 another one that’s slept on tbh. I like aleheather dont get me wrong but i could easily see Alejandro falling for Courtney’s completely unhinged side. And when courtney said she’s Alejandro’s “gal” its just. It’s cute ok. Don’t come at me.

If you guys want my opinion on any other courtney ships, send me them! I love talking about courtney and all her girlfriends/boyfriends/etc and I’m a huge multishipper so I love everything

[transingthoseformers]

About sg prowl... ough I love the fact that he seems to have he's own weird claimed territory. He runs the place like the worst kind of mafia, forcing others who stay there to pay him protection money, or he makes sure they pay in other ways.

I love the idea of territorial prowl so much tho auuughhhh the moment you step into his turf he will sniff you out. How dare you intrude on his land. He will bite first and ask questions later. But when he does ask, you better have a good reason for being there

Sg jazz is primes bodyguard iirc? Or is he something else in the idw comics? Either way though, being a bodyguard makes him another kind of territorial. He doesn't let anyone near his charge and also doesn't let anyone near him. Any servos within reach of him or Prime are free game. He will bite.

He and Prowl would fight if they met. They both cross each other's lines in terms of what they are protective and territorial about. To Prowl there's a wild animal in his backyard. To Jazz someone has the audacity to even look at him.

They tear into each other and rip each other apart- but, later, once they come to some kind of mutual understanding, once they form a treaty of sorts, knowing they can both protect and have what they want at the same time, they start to work together.

Jazz can guard Prowl whilst Prowl watches his territory. Sometimes he goes out to do the dirty work for Prowl. They're always a hair away from fighting each other again, but they live with it. It works. And it's kind of exciting.

They both bite

Honestly I'm down for biting at every opportunity

ENEMIES/RIVALS TO LOVERS MY BELOVED BELOVED

Except it's evil enemies to evil lovers

Love that they have a written treaty

Apparently, his brother Ricochet is also one of Optimus's bodyguards, which makes me think about Ricochet taking one look at these two and going "how could I Not ship it??"

Prowl doesn't let many mecha in on his territory, but Jazz... Jazz he does.

Jazz does not take kindly to autobot traitors, but Prowl... Prowl he does.

I need them to kiss, the kind of kiss that muffles an insult or an argument. The kind of kiss that's like "shut the fuck up, loser~"

oughhhhh I'm thinking about them after Optimus dies too because that's a thing that happens in one or so of the shattered glass comic series. Because, after Optimus, Goldbug, Rodimus, and Ultra Magnus die... Prowl remains. And his control on Cybertron probably spreads. And, based on what I'm seeing, Jazz possibly survived too.

Evil jazzprowl confirmed /jk

[erenfox]

Rating TMR Shipssss

Thomesa (Thomas x Teresa): 147284892/10 i will fight you on this. they were literally so precious and tragic. it was like the universe had decided their destiny, but at the end of the day thomas never stopped loving her and neither did she stop loving him. she betrayed everyone for the greater good but redeemed herself to save HIM. i know she made some extremely questionable choices but goddamn theyre always slept upon. thomesa my beloved, they hated you but i never will 😭💔

Newtmas (Newt x Thomas): 3/10 (i can feel the hate radiating towards me) listen. im completely fine with people going batshit crazy over them. but personally? no. seriously, i never understood the overhype and appeal for newtmas. i can completely understand if newt was in love with thomas all this time, but the idea of them being together? nah. i just never saw any sort of romantic tension between them. like, im not being a full-on hater, but i saw them like platonic soulmates. their friendship is literally to die for (ahem ahem newt ahem 💀) and i wish I had a loyal friend like newt. but romantically? nah.

Trenda (Thomas x Brenda): 5/10 tbh they were pretty mid. i mean i can totally see them ending up together post the death cure, but their chemistry felt too forced at times. their friendship dynamic tho? TOP. TIER.

Thominho (Thomas x Minho): 10/10 the close friendship. the trust they have in each other. the things theyve lived thru together. the lengths thomas went to save minho. if thomas was bisexual hed definitely go for minho. CHEFS KISS AAAA

Nalby (Newt x Alby): 7/10 now this is a newt ship that had sm wasted potential. the fact that alby was the first person ever who newt befriended and trusted. the fact that alby was always stern to everyone BUT newt. the fact that they had one of the strongest mutual trust in the glade. the fact that newt was distraught and ready to throw hands with the grievers after they killed alby in the books. they just didn't have enough time. their dynamic i can't 😭

Newtenda (Newt x Brenda): 8/10 NOW LOOK I KNOW NEWT IS GAY AND I RESPECT THAT but i never knew that while watching the movies and reading the books. like seriously, i thought he was straight for the longest time, and the idea of newt ending up with brenda is weirdly wholesome to me. they share similar experiences of going thru hell while being infected and idk i just enjoy this ship very much. if newt wasn't gay, he shouldve definitely ended up with brenda lmao

Brenally (Brenda x Gally): 6/10 same case as newtenda, but they needed more development. otherwise post tdc theyd be so cute :3

Minally (Minho x Gally): 4/10 nah. just, nope. i can see strong friendship and respect for each other throughout tmr and post tdc, but as a ship... pretty bland so nope.

Minewt (Minho x Newt): 8/10 oh yep. absolutely. theyve known each other maybe not as long as nalby, but the things they went thru in tst and tdc... and the efforts newt was ready to make to save minho- like my boi was freaking infected but he chose to focus on saving minho over himself 😭 and minhos reaction on seeing newts dead body just 💔 if this ain't peak idk what is...

Sonyaris (Sonya x Aris): 9/10 best friends? check. immediate relief on finding the other was alive? check. her taking care of him when he got injured? check. him standing up for her? check. both survived the horrific events thrown upon at them? check. what's there not to like?? they just needed more screentime together lol

Thomally (Thomas x Gally): 2/10 nope. too much toxicity, if im being honest. i mean, they did end up working together and becoming somewhat friends at the end, but idts thomas would ever be able to forgive gally for killing chuck. chuck was basically thomas' baby brother. im sure thomas, despite having gotten over chuckie's death, still finds it extremely unfair how gally got saved but chuck didn't.

Java/Avanson (Janson x Ava): 147284892/10 OMFG YESSIRRRRR I JUST LOVE AND ADORE THIS SHIP LIKE WDYM THIS ISN'T CANON HUH LIKE THEY WOULD TOTALLY TRY TO STAB EACH OTHER AND THEN MAKE OUT WOOHOOO (ive gone insane.)

[turian]

beloved gamer mutual & comrade @rhubarbspring tagged me to do a video game about me ( tysm for tagging !! truly loved reading all ur game thoughts. <3 ) explanations behind my choices under the cut.

(also, i had to cheat a little bit in the "you love, everyone hates" category, because i don't think people on tumblr hate da2, but one of my best friends despises it because of reused assets and combat designed more for consoles than pcs. and i can't remember any other controversial beloved games right now. the best i can do is games i love that i'm not sure anyone remembers? imagine ubisoft ballet? which, like. do people hate that. i don't think so).

tagging @cowsquirrel @malcriada @sakraya @ansburg @anoramactir + literally anyone i might have missed who wants to do this

favourite game of all time: so, look, i hate her as much as i love her. i always go back to new vegas even though i have a lot of criticisms of it - i had a realization recently after the release of the fallout show that while maybe i was projecting intergenerational trauma onto the game and using it to process some things, there is a lot in the game that is extremely imperialistic, even as it dabbles in anti imperialism. i can't get into all that here - better essays than i'm capable of have already been written on new vegas - but i also have to admit that new vegas taught me to see game writing differently, and helped me a great deal in improving my own writing. it's also just really entertaining playing later games by obsidian and picking out the new vegas elements. i think that new vegas gets praised too readily for being progressive when in reality it's only the most progressive game in the fallout franchise, and i think every time i return to it i'm noticing one more thing that'll kind of be making my eye twitch. but, yeah, i think it would also be dishonest to not include it here, regardless of my mixed feelings, because i keep going back, and because there are so many angles to it, and because i keep catching myself comparing other games to it.

i think a lot about like........... how so many themes i can relate to exist within the narrative of new vegas, but that doesn't feel entirely intentional. like, benny is so real to me because ! he was forced to assimilate into this culture that was not his to survive. and ulysses as well. and like!!!! yeah idk. going insane. i feel very similarly about dragon age elves tbh i'm like okay i feel seen but also this game is racist! kms :') will be projecting hard and taking so much psychic damage

many such cases tho </3 baldur's gate 3 and their treatment of the gur is always going to be a mix of relatable and uncomfortable to me

favourite series: soulsborne! i like how bleak it is, love the theme of death and rebirth, love how thankless the games can be, and i also love how the combat reminds me of muay thai. had a coach explain something to me using dark souls combat as an example once. i didn't really get these games at first, until i saw my best friend playing - she is ridiculously good at them - and then i sort of realized that they're just combat puzzles, and that like... they're kind of about honing patience, i guess? and after that they really became my favourite.

best soundtrack: honorary mentions: mass effect and dark souls both have some individual tracks i revisit on the daily, and skyrim's secunda is beautiful. but hollow knight doesn't miss, and i love how every track matches its environment.

favourite protagonist: i grew up in a really dysfunctional somewhat criminal family so like... lol. i feel seen when i look at arthur morgan <3 him and charles are both close to my heart. john can stay too ig

favourite villain: SO okay, maybe this is cheating a little, but. the reapers from mass effect. went into that game with zero spoilers, and finding out that they were in fact cosmic horror games was so <3

this would probably have gone to new vegas except benny (and also ulysses + i think he's more narrative foil than antagonist, as is benny) literally did nothing wrong in my eyes and after that point it's like... who is the main antagonist? the ncr and legion both? like yeah they're interesting but...

best story: i haven't actually finished pathologic on my own yet. kind of obsessed, though. just feels responsible to put it here. honorary mentions to new vegas, some fromsoft titles, twd, imagine ubisoft ballet........ (i love her and i miss her).

i feel like a lot of story games i've played actually have garbage stories with good characters, which is why they're not here. baldur's gate 3 and ME, for example. or like... ME has a great story at first but they fuck up the ending so badly that a popular theory i've heard passed around essentially boils down to "it was all a dream!"

have not played but want to: i was actually supposed to apply for a job with the team that made these games !! i didn't because it would have required relocation to the US, but. idk i feel like they keep showing up, always highly recommended, and i think i own one? so yeah, i should really get around to that.

you love, everyone hates: again, i cheated on this one. i don't think people on here hate dragon age 2.

you hate, everyone loves: skyrim, detroit: become human, stardew valley (because it's a weird little cottagecore colonialism game but also because i don't really vibe with the art style and i get stressed as fuck in it because nothing is happening... it is simply not for me), and fallout 3 and 4 (because they're masquerading as games with choices but they fully aren't, they suffer from bethesda writing, and they are super unapologetically racist and imperialist). i mean like... not mad at any of my friends who like these games i just cannot play them. i don't really think any of the games on my list are unimpeachable, tbf.

favourite art style: disco elysium !! it's so <3 like, i also love it for other reasons!! but every time i play it i end up wanting to draw.

favourite ending: new vegas has four endings. i feel differently about them all, but the independent ending is very much shaped by the infrastructure the player assembles during a playthrough, and while it is maybe imperfect and very open ended in some ways i like how it doesn't really reassure the player. also, i really like certain elden ring endings and the dark souls 1 ending. and pathologic.

favourite boss fight: hollow knight has a lot i've really enjoyed (particularly hornet's). for elden ring, malenia is the fave, tho <3 when i defeat her i tend to feel really disappointed. like, get up. let's go again. parrying her is extremely satisfying.

childhood game: we like... found out we had some cousins which is wild because this has been a tiny family since Certain Incidents A Long Time Ago and they also had nintendo ds access and they were not into this game. and like... look, i'm not saying it's great, but it had dark souls ish combat? like, you could lock on? you could roll? and i ended up replaying it as an adult and being like. huh. not that bad.

+ imagine ubisoft ballet ily

relaxing games: distance, injustice 2 (i main red hood & black canary but i like playing robin too. it's super imbalanced and they still haven't nerfed starfire !! and it's incredibly funny like good for her), dark souls 1, and elden ring.

stressful games: again stardew valley because i would play with friends and it was like oh god i need to leave. i do not know what to do, i am useless, i am understimulated

+ red dead online is not a good game to play without substantial backup . so glad i had horse insurance because if i hadn't my only friend in that world would be dead. that said, i did like to hunt in that game + play the fps levels with groups

games you always come back to: new vegas but maybe she'll release me someday. idk. also unfortunately i didn't include it earlier but i keep going back to the sims 4 and baldur's gate 3. and fromsoft titles because i sometimes just crave that combat.

guilty pleasure: new vegas again!!! i guess i kind of talked about my extremely complicated feelings when i first spoke about it, but yeah. there's just so much to unpack and i'm never going to forgive it for a lot of things. the horrors and the joys are both numerous but the joys will never not be tainted by the horrors

tons of hours played: elden ring + bg3 + new vegas + mass effect. i don't have the hours of new vegas and mass effect available tho as they are confined to a now dead xbox 360

[wildfangz]

Lil (long) simblr gratitude day post

I wanted to make a post shouting out some of my favorite creators, storytellers, and just general simmers from over the last year, mainly focused on ts4 since that's where my attention has been the most. Long post ahead so it's going under a cut. If you're not tagged please know I did wake up late today so it's not as complete of a list as I wanted it to be!!

@adelarsims - You are an essential in my mods folder!! I love how much realism and/or character your cc adds to sims, from things like the piercing holes to the wonky glasses to the mechanic overlay... Just so many little things that I can't imagine not having in my game or on certain characters now. Speaking of characters, your sims both original and premade are always so gorgeous, and I really enjoy your interpretations of wg and jeb. & Thank you for being WCIF friendly, I know it takes time to get that info but it's so appreciated, u've help me find some very beloved pieces of CC. Also the level of dedication u have to organizing your mods folder is incredible and you've inspired me a lot to get my folder's act together finally!! Which is SUCH a QoL improvement

@bearphase - I adore the bright legacy and I admire all the little details and effort you put into your posts, like fixing clipping issues, making icons and templates for custom careers or story events, ur creativity really shines through. You've also reminded me how fun NSB can be and inspired me to get back to it and my human enough gameplay and I can't thank u for that enough, it's got me sooo excited for future simming endeavors

@daisydezem - You've been a welcome addition on my dash back since POSE, which was a fantastic first community experience for me and so much fun, & I love your gameplay & love how much work u put into rainbowsin! (I adore Venus so much btw!!) I hope you're healing well and that u have a lovely new year!!

@divinedionym - CLAIRE!!! I was SO happy to see you dipping your toes back in the community I missed you on my dash! and while I adored ur vatores and their story and ur an incredible storyteller, I'm glad you've been able to pivot into something more enjoyable for u. I hope you have lots of fun in the coming year and I can't wait to see what Aspen gets up to… or into… especially with his vampire BF. Aside from that idk if you'll ever wanna run another sims server, but I did want to give you a late shoutout and props for that bc I know from experience it can be difficult and I really loved how you ran yours! I could just be an anxious bitch but I feel like its so hard to find comfortable servers.... and esp the storytellers one was so cozy and helpful, and ur management of it was *chefs kiss* I've also really enjoyed it every time we've talked, tho I'm sorry I'm so shy 😭😭

@earthmoonz - LONG TIME MUTUAL ALERT ….. ur sims are always so gorgeous. Love the Devereauxs and... Max and Lena… WOO. I support womens and nonbinary rights. and wrongs. Wifey has been SO good and I'm pumped to see where the rest of the story goes. U have a natural talent for storytelling and I really appreciate how much care u put into your characters. Everyone read wifey today rn

@hauntedtrait - Another mutual I enjoy every time I see you on my dash!! Your Lilith is drop dead gorgeous but honestly so many of your sims are. I love ur premade makeovers and Dakota is sooo pretty I'm obsessed. I can't wait 2 see who he ends up with! :]

@horusmenhosetix - I love seeing u on my dash and every time we've talked has been so lovely!! There's been so many times you've made me want to jump back into my projects for ts2 or even go back to ts3 once I have the space to download it. I love your s2cc and god ur sims …. its been a year but I still smile whenever I think about the vatore siblings you shared jhskfdh they're so perfect its got me inspired to throw together an s4 save whenever I get my mods folder sorted. & I'm so excited to go thru ur downloads tag and fill that baby UP with ur stuff next time I work on that !!!!!!!!

@myshunosun - One of my favorite CC creators, pretty sure my folder has all of your stuff in it bc I couldn't help myself. Always impressed with the quality and I love the variety. Thank u for sharing such incredible work with us!

@nucrests - I downloaded a lot of ur cc more recently but MY BOYS!!! U'VE CLOTHED MY BOYS!!! You make such good quality content and I'm always a huge fan of those that help me give my male sims some flair and style, thank u! :')

@oshinsimblr - Long 1 incoming... While I've never been a sims 4 hater, like a lot of people I've still struggled with the gameplay aspect of this iteration, so it's been really inspiring to watch how you go about your game and immerse yourself in it, see all the care you put into your sims. I have to thank you for the videos you've made on it, like the one on how to make sims you connect to, season 1 of Lovesick where you went basically vanilla with the specific intent to show people how much you can do with imagination and what that looks like in gameplay! It's been literally game-changing for me lol and helped me to have more fun with my saves, even if they're not one of the rare few that starts out off the rails, I get more enjoyment playing it out until things do start happening outside of my control. & YOUR CC RECS!! I've downloaded so many of the mods you've recommended and I love how much they fill out the game. On the topic of Lovesick, I have not been able 2 get enough!! I'm so hooked lmao. Watching this series has really taken me back to the days when I was a teen reading like those particularly juicy drama-filled sims 3 stories you can't help but to keep clicking "next page" on, except Lovesick is so solid writing-wise. SO excited to see where Lizbeth is going in her life!!

@simandy - Your hairs have been an essential in my CAS folder for so long, and I've been so impressed with the evolution of your creations over the years. I've always liked your work but GODDAMN the quality always blows me away these days!! & I really, really adore and appreciate the variety! @squea - ANOTHER SORT OF LONG ONE BUT ... Your sims just POP!!! SO much character, and your edits and art r phenomenal. Corn is one of my favorite little digital guys I've had the pleasure of experiencing on line in all my years in the sims community reading stories and gameplay. If Cornelius has a million fans I am one of them. If Cornelius has ten fans I am one of them. If Cornelius has no fans I am no longer on the earth. If world against Cornelius, I am against the world. So on and so forth TBH you've also helped me have a lot more fun with the sims 4 talking about how you enjoy your game, and have a healthier mindset about my place in the community and connect back with the reason I made this blog in the first place, which was just to have fun and archive something I love, regardless of whether it got any attention or not! I started going MIA a bit post 2019 after really getting involved in the community, for Life Happens reasons, and naturally the lack of consistent posting for a while meant less eyes on whatever I came back to share. For a while I let that discourage me esp when a lot of effort was put into something, but after you posted about just genuinely enjoying ur game and loving what you made regardless of notes it made me realize what I was doing and helped me get back to that state of mind. Now whatever I make gets to matter simply because it matters to me, even if I post it at like 3am bc I'm so excited and no one ever sees it bc of that DHKDHKHSD. & I feel like I have u to thank for that!! U turned da lightbulb on

@thefoxburyinstitute - I could not make a gratitude post without forgetting to include the foxbury institute!! I've been messing around more with making CC the last couple of months and your blog has been so incredibly helpful, and I highly recommend everyone interested in creating or just wanting to maintenance and mend their mods folder a bit check them out!

@tricoufamily - YOUR RENDERS ARE SO GORGEOUSSS and I love your take on the Villareals. I never ran into the original story so I'm really excited tbh to see whats up ur sleeve... also I love everything you've shared about two headed lamb so far, so eerie and offputting in the best way. Also everyone read this is the fall here

@void-imp I know we just followed each other a few days ago but ur trio is SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!! I love Jab's design so much and I rlly enjoy what I've read about aleksey so far. :-)

@warwickroyals - Ok so first off your clothing is a STAPLE in my folder for my more wealthy and/or fashion-oriented sims! And as for the Warwick Legacy? One of my absolute favorite simblr stories I've read. I still remember when I started it, it was pretty late at night so I was just planning on reading a handful of posts and then picking it back up the next day. That did not happen I could not stop. Straight up stayed up the entire night bingeing all the way to the latest post (which was the Big Phillip Thing. I had to get up from my computer to pace I was having a Moment LOL) I've got some catching up to do but so far I think that's been my favorite arc. Aside from that your editing is beautiful, and I've always been a character enjoyer so I'm in love with how much thought you've put into all of yours, and the fact we get to learn so much about them. I think you do a really good job of balancing the cast and I really dig your storytelling style in general.

@whimsyalien I know u post moreso on twitter but since u ARE technically also on simblr... I just wanna say I love the polaris legacy and thank you so much for all the poses and templates you share!!!

@windbrook THANK YOU for making so many fantastic builds and for sharing your saves, it's one of my absolute favorites. Also all the original sims u post are so striking, and ur cartoon-ish makeovers were so much fun!! Loving the recent builds/world pics u shared as well, and looking forward to whatever you create whether its in sims 4 or a previous game in the series!

@yooniesim Your cc is a more recent addition to my folder but there's so many things you've made and I'm sure will make that are essentials there now, like the teeth and body hair and god that necklace set for men is a necessity, but outside of that I love a lot of the other CAS CC you make you have some of the cutest hairs and I really adore the accessories! Thank you also for speaking out on certain issues within the community.

Finally,

To My Followers: thank u all for sticking with me even as I've been a biiit flaky over the years. My healths doing a lot better tho and I have so much passion for the game and I'm so excited for what I have to share with u all next, and I hope it can brighten ur dash up a bit, pull the heartstrings when appropriate, etc!! I also have a lil milestone coming up so im planning on doing some sim requests soon as a thank you when that hits. c:

[marleysfinest]

ok first of all mar. what a fantastic event you're hosting!!! i will literally never get enough of telling people i love them. second of all i am a very sappy very affectionate person so i'm not sorry if this gets long. in no particular order:

@ghost-1-y : my very first friend on here. so kind and supportive and lovely and wonderful to talk to always. and a great writer on top of it all!!!

@sugurei : my ride or die, my fellow feral being, the older sister i wish i had. u r my favorite enabler & my life is better for having you in it

@peachdues : a deeply talented writer that i am deeply blessed that i get to talk to. passing angst back and forth is truly a pleasure and sometimes gives me a laugh even if it gives me chest pain AHAHA

@dr-runs-with-scissors : CAL MY BELOVED i love you so fucking much. talking to you every day is truly a gift. my life has been much richer since we stumbled across each other and realized we both already enjoyed each other's work. i love you.

@mitsuristoleme : kay!!! my lovely lovely noble blood beta reader. you are wonderful in so many ways i can't even begin to explain. i'm so glad we talk even tho our time zones are so different. keep killing it at uni friend 💜

@threadbaresweater : lin you are my cool aunt jsyk. your writing & fandom takes & posts about real life stuff are all things i am endlessly glad i have the privilege to see on my dash

@2kmps : cort, your honesty is always refreshing, and i admire your dedication to your craft. i'm so glad we've started talking more lately!

@bloompompom : the sweetest kindest most lovely artist on this site!!! being in your orbit is a blessing

@oceaneyesinla : roxy, your constant encouragement and sweet words never fail to make me smile

@teddybeartoji MICKEY i love being insane with you. your excitement about things is contagious and it is so so wonderful

YOU!!! mar you are such a joy to see on my dash, i can never get enough of you fr

there are so many more ppl on this hellsite that i love with my whole heart but i am only human and cannot properly articulate my feelings. but know if we're mutuals or i see you consistently in my notes, i love you so bad and am squeezing you so tight & with so much love

💜💜💜

this is what im TALKIN about fallon thank u for sharing the love!!!!! look at all these stunners!!!!!

share the love in muvva’s feel good 500!

[heartsbreaking-migrated]

i know i don't really owe anyone anything in terms of explanations for what's going on in my head, but i also i know that of the 545 people following me at least one of y'all has got to having similar experiences to me. idk if i want advice or reassurance or just someone to know so i don't feel like i'm just on an island alone. (btw if you don't like oversharing this is not the post for you)

so here's a lil update ig

i think i have bpd or at least something with similar symptoms. i can't get a diagnosis or even talk about it with a professional rn because my beloved therapist is on maternity leave. the same things i'm gonna talk about in regards to my rp experience i'v experienced with friends irl i just don't have friends at home (i do when i'm at school i'm just not there rn) so it's not really getting triggered.

emotions always feel like life or death to me like, if i'm happy i'm really happy and if i'm upset it's the end of the world. my parents lecturing me? they obviously hate me and are seething with rage. irl i can be very reactive or internalize everything but online i take all the things that would normally trigger a very outward response irl and turn it on myself. so the stuff that i'd internalize normally and the stuff that i wouldn't also gets internalized. basically it's not a very nice place in my head a lot of the time. and rp makes me really happy, i love writing, i swear i wouldn't be doing this if it didn't actually feel fulfilling to me.

but the intrapersonal part is really really hard for me. i don't ever feel really secure in my relationships with people here no matter how much they affirm them with or without me asking. sometimes it feels really hard for me to "share" my friends and then i spiral because i'm both upset i have to "share" them and upset that i feel like that because i don't WANT to feel like i just want my friends to be only my friends i want to be normal about them and about things. so i'm basically either really clingy or i don't let myself reach out to anyone because i feel like i'm going to annoy them or they're gonna know i want to be their friend and not want to reciprocate even tho we're mutuals.

the worst part about it at least to me is that i know what triggers me but there's absolutely no way to avoid it in rp. irl if i know i'm gonna be in a situation thats gonna set me off i can avoid it but its much easier to fully say 'i don't want to go out today' and still be friends with someone and not be in the situation. here the situation is everything. if someone gets more asks from one person and answers a bunch all at once, my brain starts acting up even tho it has nothing to do with me. if my friend posts about their ship regularly but doesn't post about ours as often, my brain acts up. i don't want it to because logically i know it doesn't mean anything but logic doesn't help me when my brain is cannibalizing itself and physically removing myself from the situation (going offline) doesn't help because its all in my head.

my reactions either range from panic attacks that last from like 30 minutes to hours, just going completely numb and the instinct to just cut off friendships in a kinda 'they don't want me so it doesn't matter' thought process but then i have the follow up thought of 'but i like them and i need them and i don't want to lose this friendship' so i just end up stuck. i spend a lot of time just stuck in my own head.

i think i end up coming off pretty antisocial here because a lot of the time i'd rather just write with people and not make that ooc friendship because its so much easier not to react like a crazy person when i don't feel like we're friends. but i think that also limits a lot of the interactions i get and THAT triggers me cause i feel like people don't want to have more developed dynamics.

all of this is so much easier to handle when i'm going to therapy regularly and i'm in school and i have something quantifiable that i'm good at (not to brag but i'm fucking amazing at school).

i guess the reason i'm saying all of this is to say rp is fucking hard for me and i try not to mention any of this to people because i don't want to seem nuts or like a burden but i don't think that strategy is working for me anymore. there's no world where i can keep writing and hide the fact that i just don't react to shit like i'm supposed to because i'm tired.

i'm not gonna bring it up actively but at the same time like i guess having this post written and out in the ether at least while i can't go to therapy makes it all feel less heavy ya know?

[nick-close]

okay i've been trying to figure out a way to word this properly to you:

but i just want to say that i am never going to forget how you have been fighting alongside me from the very start. i don't think i ever really told you, but seeing your initial propaganda list was the reason i decided to take the leap and start my campaign journey in the first place. and knowing that you were fighting with me all this time was really how i kept finding the strength to keep going.

you are always going to be my fellow comrade in arms. my fellow general in this campaign. i feel like we have a warrior's unbreakable bond. like anything you need any time, i would both kill and die for you without hesitation -

you are an incredibly beloved mutual to me. and if you'll have me, you're an incredibly beloved friend too <3

:,, SEIIIII

Thank you… oh this is a very sweet message. And honestly, it’s a bit silly but it did feel like a weight off my shoulders to see all the hard work you were doing- at first I was going VERY hard on the propaganda because I was trying to get the ball rolling- it felt like my job to try and get everyone involved- so seeing you take SUCH a huge role and kinda take the reigns was really nice- it not only motivated me to fight too, but also let me take breaks when I needed to lmao.

Eternal comrades, I swear. I’m glad I got to become muts with you through this !! You say the word too- I got your damn back. After such hearty combat though, I think we both should sit back a bit haha. (Tho ik you’re still on that GRIND. GOOD LUCK AGAIN!!!)

You are just as beloved to me as well. Glennfuckers for life, thank you for being in this beautiful club with me lmao. <3

[tweltchy]

Well, hello. I haven't been tagged in one of these things for literal years! Was tagged by @c-n-i-d-a-r-i-a-n to fill out a sort of "get to know me" meme. Thanks so much!! To keep this going, I'll tag some beloved mutuals.

@rye-satchel, @kaykayfranco, @lottafuckingshit

3 ships:

Not much of a shipper and the ones I do like are kinda strange, but I got a few that hold a place in my heart. It's not three, tho. Ye get two.

Rarity x Applejack (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

The MLP Resurgence on this website is a gift from above. I get it now........... they are so cute and we stan gay horses. Iconic butch/femme couple....... I don't think I need to say more than that.

Sam Winchester x Castiel (Supernatural)

Feel like i need to justify myself here.

Listen........... i know the show is dumb and stupid and it's over now, but I still think about it. Tbh, I shipped it out of spite at first, but then I kinda started to see potential in it, and now it's one of my OTPs. They are both queer in some way and i will die on that hill. Big sucker for the Friends to Lovers trope, and and and...... idk I just think they're sweet, especially given their growth together in the show. plus Sam doesn't abuse Cass like Dean does so that's a plus lolololololol

IDK. I just think if Cass confessed to Sam, Sam would have at least shown strong emotion. Probably would have tried to sacrifice everything to try and get him back.

first ship:

Zack Fair x Aerith Gainsborough (Final Fantasy VII)

Again, not really much of a shipper, but I remember the first ship that I reeeeeaaally got into was this one. They are just...so perfect for each other.... it's hard not to love them.

last song:

The most underrated as well as the darkest song the band ever made. I think about it constantly and adore it.

last film:

Ginger Snaps (2000)

It's one of my absolute favorite movies of all time. I saw it was free to watch on YouTube and watched it twice in a row. It's so good and a unique take on werewolf stories. I recommend it if you have an interest in werewolves. It is free to watch in English on YouTube, but it's only available to watch in the USA for some reason. It's blocked everywhere else, INCLUDING Canada. ??? That's dumb as hell. Snag a VPN and watch it.

Regardless!! Good movie.

currently reading:

-Lots of TTRPG corebooks/rulebooks.

I love tabletop RPGs!!!!

-Tender Is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica.

Jules Dapper on YouTube sold me on this book, and it's one of my new favorites. Very dark and depressing, but also very compelling!

currently craving:

A BIG sandwich with every vegetable ever.

fav color:

All shades of purple!

relationship status:

Not single.

last google search:

"halifax glove guy"

The fact that this dude is actually real and not some weird urban legend fascinates me more than it should. Stay safe out there, guys.

current obsessions:

-TTRPGs

-BIRDS!!!!

-Kingdom Hearts (my forever fandom and favorite game series ever)

-Final Fantasy series

-Animation and art

Thanks for tagging me!! :D

[modernmanblues]

Challenge: Tag a couple of your mutuals on this ask and give them a compliment. Go ahead, brighten their day. 🌟

right so i received another ask that was similar to this one, but i will respond to this one bc i would like to tag several of my beloveds on here:

@fancycolours number one best Chicago groupie!! Robert and the rest of us here love you very much. you are always a delight to see on my dash, and i love the positivity you bring to this community. i’m glad our paths crossed and i’m happy to know i’m not the only one who’s crazy about Chicago (the only jazz rock band ever, duhh). stay amazing, our beautiful sunflower 🌻🌼

@glennsdick what a talented lady!! a sweetheart. an absolute angel!! Glenn is one lucky fella to have you in his life <3 i love your aesthetic sm!! as a die hard eagles fan myself, i really dig the high quality content you post about the bird boys ✨ keep shining on, rock n roll queen 💫🌟

@burn-on-the-flame it is bc of YOU, my dear, that i have started to gain a liking for Sweet 💗 you are a wonderful person and i’m glad i have found a friend in you. Mick loves you with all his heart and he’s a real lucky bloke to have a sweetheart like you in his life 🧡

@rebelrollerqueen quite literally, one of the coolest people on tumblr. i absolutely adore your aesthetic love. also, i love that we both seem to be fascinated by the Davies brothers (i mean who wouldn’t tho? they’re so painfully attractive how could anyone not be a little obsessed with them?) anyways, always love seein’ ya on my dash girlie <3

@milkyway-ashes i can’t thank you enough for educating me thoroughly about Yes 🤩 they’re such a solid group i’m very glad i got into them, and it’s all bc of you, pal 😌 you’re an amazing person and i wish you nothing but the best in life. i’m glad there are still good hearted people like you out there <3

@teenarama the coolest chick! i love the positivity you bring to my dash and i always enjoy our interactions ☺️ Amber, i’ve been meaning to tell you this but what i love the most about you is that you are very wise beyond your years. the way i see it, you’re gonna go places my friend. keep dreaming big, stay humble and stay beautiful. i’m so glad to have a friend in you 💖

@jwclapton we may not talk that much but just know that i cherish our friendship always. i love your aesthetic as well. your content always takes me back to a magical time in the past that i can only imagine living in my wildest dreams. the best. Mr. James 🤍

[ceebit]

okay let me do my new year post now bc i will most definitely be dragged out to party and then promptly pass out 😭

2022 has been a rough year for me, emotionally and physically. i went through a lot this year, academically, personally, mentally—by far one of the worst years i’ve ever pocketed. without getting into details, i hit my lowest point. and not to sound like that, but through kpop i found hope again. like a temporary crutch of sorts.

i joined kpopblr four months ago on september 19th! this blog hit its 4 month mark on the 19th this month, and while i didn’t openly celebrate that milestone on here, i took the time to sit back and really look on how my life has changed since then.

i’ve made so many good memories. and with those memories, i’ve met so many good people here. people that deserve more than the world for being friendly faces (despite not seeing y’all lmao) during my up and coming days. so i gotta shout y’all out because i wouldn’t be as comfortable in this space without u all.

@wonwooridul @seungkwan-s : the first official friends i made here. none of this would have been possible without u two !!! i love u both so so much please. 🤍🤍🤍

@hansolz : for giving me an invite to the caratblr server ): we don’t talk as much but never got to express how grateful i was (and still am) for opening that door for me. i really can’t thank u enough <3

@ the caratblr server : ik im the worst at being active in there but i’m so so happy to be there. being exposed to so many talented creators from writers to giffers and all those in between—it’s been so much fun getting to know u all (from the times i remember discord exists, at least 😭)

@minghao-s : rose my kpop lighthouse………. u are literally the reason behind everything here. i think fondly on that two hour boy group introduction a lot. thank u for taking the time to guide me through all of that. and for taking ur time with me ??? my memory is NOT the best and i do be forgetting things, but thank u for pulling and knocking sense into me ^_^ and ultimately being 1/2 mutuals who like to actively plot my k-demise…..

@wuahae : cat beloved </3 i had to mention the reason why there’s a significant sunwoo shaped crater in my skull. u are at fault for my recent lack of sleep and lack of appropriate decorum during the waking hours. (affectionate) jokes aside thank u for tbz infodumping at odd hours of the night and indulging in my relentless questions <333 hope u get ur vampire media one day 🫶🏽

and to rest my beloveds : @txtkids @caratonce/@silvmoonsky @haylo4ever/@dokyeomblr @haylo4ever @huiranghaes @naptimed @otlwoozi @theloserphenomenon @aceofvernons @woosanhui @98linerz @strawberri-uyu (and if you’re not here i’m so sorry 😭) thank you for filling my dash and literally making tumblr worthwhile each time i long on. my experience woukdnt be the same without y’all. love u all to the moon and back <3

to my readers : you are the reason i create!! the reason i find inspiration to continue to write. thank you for the endless tags and asks and reblogs and comments and everything. if i could hug all 800+ of u, i would. squeezing u all with so so so much love thru this screen. <333

and to my anons : thank you for some of the funniest moments i’ve ever seen in my life. you all r the reason the ask function was made. even if you haven’t come off anon, just know that i cherish each and every single ask you’ve sent to me—responded or not. (terribly sorry if i haven’t, tho… sometimes my brain tricks me into thinking i already have 🥲) hopefully some of you gain the courage to reveal yourselves so we can be friends :)

okay let me wrap this up before i start crying. tmrw starts a whole new year of kpop for me and all of you. here’s to more writings, creations, laughter, and good memories to come.

with love, from (hopefully) your favorite joshua-changbin-sunwoo juyeon-and-now-hongjoong enthusiast,

cece <3

[icharchivist]

At he Angry!Anon bc whoa brother. Look a lot of the fans I come across all mutually handshake that he's terrible. That's the attraction! However, even though he is a heinous bastard I'd like to point out a few things. Belial is NOT free of blame here. In Belial's unlock quest there is a scene detailing that Lucilius died with a smile on his face. It's heavily implied he never intended to make it through his own plan & left Belial to carry it on. Those visions of his were driving him mad & if his magnum opus took him out, that's swell actually. The mad adored Lucifer more than he did himself.

Honestly I could go on for hours of what Lucifer & Belial are actually for him but that's conjecture & ain't the point.

What I am pointing to tho is that he died on his own terms more or less & happily so. Belial then later goes on to state to Lucifer's decapitated head that he didn't care if Lucilius wanted to be back or not. & it is implied that what Belial did in 000 was actually against Lucilius' will. Which makes sense as to why he's PISSED.

Belial had Lucifer destroyed, brought Lucilius back from the dead despite dying in a way that was acceptable to him & DID IT IN HIS MOST BELOVED PERSON'S BODY. Like my man, he's awful but sure as fuck he is justified in at least a little of that anger.

Also I'd like to correct on his treatment of his creations. Belial was treated like ass & Sandalphon was treated terribly. Outside of the those two he was actually fairly kind if not a bit distant. You know going half mad kinda puts a kink in things. But yeah in comparison to the Astrals at large & it being a point of contention to the astral council that Lucilius preferred the Primal's free will. Ergo Lucifer & Belial canonically not having limiters.

Like there's a lot that can be put together about Lucilius' character than this egomaniacal madman who's an awful abuser. It just takes looking at the context & using a little critical thinking. Put down the rose colored glasses for Belial &/or Sandalphon.

Also a note on Lucilius being "right." When I see people say he was right it's usually tongue & cheek bc their day is going to shit. I do it too lol. OR if we are getting into the meat of the text. Bahamut is a DICK & things are shaping up to where Danchou likely needs to shank him. Or at least shake the big lizard around a lil.

Even if you hate Lucilius (which is justified), a broken clock is right twice a day.

Sorry for this Icha in your inbox this is 100% aimed at the angry bastard you got earlier. I got a LOT of feelings. Like I love Belial to pieces & he resonates with my BPD & abuse survivor ass but man. Lucilius slander really makes me wanna bite people.

They are both terrible (affectionate) your honor.

aaahh i understand your point on a character analysis standpoint and i get that it's not aimed at me and thank you for that, but please let's not refer to one another as bastard on here okay, i don't want fights to be started in there

the previous anon also already apologized and acknowledged there's others way to read it so it feels a little mean.

And while i personally agree with your reading here, like i said in my answer to the anon, i think it's important to respect the limits some people do have with those characters. And i do actually think it's even more important when this lack of comfort can be so personal.

sorry i have to preface the ask like that. I do think your argument is pretty good though and your own feelings are really good, but please let's be nice and respectful with one another on here, especially when it comes to character readings. (and esp since i'm kind of in the middle of all of this)

That aside and back to the meat of the ask i do really like the character interpretation of Lucilius on here and i do think it's more interesting that he's not a one note villain, and that as such there are more nuances to his character to read on, and therefore more compelling sides to explore. I do personally really like the appreciation for free will angle when it comes to Lucilius, but yeah he's a messy person who's been driven mad and had a hard time reconnecting to his reality and the people in it.

Also i think in general the "they did nothing wrong" points can be a funny element of misinterpretations in fanbases because it's used ironically a LOT but from the outside it can sometimes look like it's said unironically and it ends up creating misinterpretation problems by a long shot ahah. I usually kinda stay in my corner so i don't really have a real overview of how fans behave and i keep it that way mostly, but as someone who also does a lot of "my fav did nothing wrong (lying)", and who's been misinterpreted about it before, this is. quite a thing isn't it.

(but also yes Bahamut is a Dick and i do think Lucilius is right to want to take him down, just like Lu Woh is right to want to take him down. Bahamut causes a little too many problems not to. Lucilius' reasons strikes to me as more personal, but that doesn't mean he's particularly wrong, especially when his issues with Bahamut can be similar to say, the way Lucio himself has been deluding himself into thinking he wasn't mad at Bahamut for those said issues while it was hurting him yaknow?)

anyway yeah they're both terrible and i do really like this reading

and i won't lie i'm a bit reassured that you didn't aim it at me in particular (bc i know i can be mean to Lucilius too so at least i am glad about that)

but yeah just, please let's be nice to one another here, it's fine to have disagreement over character readings and fictions, especially when it can cut deep and personal, but everyone is entitled to their own limits and let's just at least not be too hard about it

[just-lythecreator]

Galactic Hunters’ relationship ramble

When I look back at it

I should’ve expect how hunters go how the way they are at times

Especially where I first join fandoms and read stuff, at my core, will always see them (Zim and Dib) as enemies to besties that still bickering. Hunters was start by me want to have an au that they run off together, have their own business, and slowly finally become friends

And at that same time I also adore what some of the fandom do them (Zim and Dib) in romantic sense too. Not as I like I see it in canon; but more so as someone who love to read fic of ships that I not invest and want to see what the people write. Because I know there’s so many good fucking writing on the things I might not like or neutral about it. Like it can be cute and also so character analysis in the way make me goes, ok yall convince me.

It something silly that I didn’t think about it as much.

My top favorite of the dynamic that people write them is more so of QPR (Zadr QPR have all my fucking heart as a demi ace mfer) like the Paklet au or them being absolutely besties (SPACE JUNK ZADF MY DAMN BELOVED)

But there also stuff like the War of Doom, the Last Irken, Curious Dib, and that one zadr fic of them going to space black market (which later become a reference to honestly one of the most influential arc of Hunters but I didn’t get a chance to show on main blog because things goes so fast that I can’t draw on time)

Heck at first the little hint of HD (Seeker) use to have one sided crush on Zim is from me leaving a silly little reference to my respect for zadr content writers that write so well that I interest as a concept. But for me, Hunters was my corner of want to draw them slowly being friends, even how much bickering they are -__-

And then

Seeker did it again, the fucking bastards fall in pale. It not pitch or spade but It still a romance in the quadrant system. That man somehow fall for the stupid bug, THREE TIME IN HIS SHORT 27 YEARS OF A LIFE. And I was absolutely terrified because BRO MY FUCKING PLAN!! WHY YOU FUCKED MY PLAN UP????

And by Zim’s character since beginning, I know he is capable of falling in love, which later be Knelt and I was fucking right that he can.

At least it pale, pale is the closest to QPR, it should be great for me!! Zadr QPR was the favorite content I got in the fandom!!

….and things spiral…

The whole aphobe attack on hunters blog, Seeker make a choice to not show more of his softness to the bug on main. And basically lock 85% of the development behind the close door in process because they don’t feel comfortable at the time.

And things change again

Their relationship become so annoyingly complicated for me who try to organize the plot and stuff. But, that not how Galactic Hunters will do. They do whatever they want. Break my limit with my arts that I probably never gonna show on main unless on Patreon bc I’m still shy heck.

They in all the damn quadrants at once, a fucking disaster of a situationship that they both happily embrace all the chaos. Be the most “I want to make him worst and I will take him back up to the star”. And I absolutely adore it!!! They are such a disaster that give me absolutely HEADACHE, but their bond is so strong that I still think (even Seeker think) that romance is not even a word.

It a fucking devotion.

Their disaster of want each other to fill all the quadrant even tho they are pale is so thems to do. Mutually obsession of want to put themselves it every relationship they can because they are each other’s. They both pissed each other off, riled each other up, and calm all the storm in their soul.

Desperately want to be each other’s everything.

Now after all of this, I slowly come to terms of them go to flush at times, but always back in pale. But I still kinda scare. After the whole aphobe attack on blog, I fucking terrified how people react. I want to show thems to the world and be absolutely brainrot over thems together.

But…. There’s so much I didn’t get to show the blog of how they are behind closed doors, the developments, and how far they come. From self destruction, want to be better, over correcting themself, to embrace the madness of their relationship. I want to show but also there so much

Heck, sometime I feel like Hunters are more so are my OC now with how Seeker is not wish to be called by his old name now. I still find the way to turn them fully into my own OC and alternate the close door development that I never get to show on blog. But the multiverse thing will probably happen to the oc version, which is what cause the change to the hunters in the first place.

I just in a debate,

Should I find the way to back track the development to show on the hunters blog somehow?

Or

just keep that development when I finally turn thems into oc with their own story?

Well, I still don’t know how backtrack the arc to put on the blog, but I still want to show why these two (now plus Knelt) make me so unwell in the best way possible. They mean a lot and I want everyone to go absolutely ballistic with me

[icanttalkimhavingacrisis]

Introduction Post!!!

hi!! lovely to see you - won't you stay awhile?

the basics:

name: Joy, short for Jonathan

age: 18

pronouns: he/she/they

orientation: omnisexual, polyamory

gender identity: genderfluid and pangender!!

timezone: CET (GMT +1)

my tops:

musicians: Twenty One Pilots, Måneskin, Hozier, George Michael, Wham!, Bastille, P!ATD, Tally Hall, My Chemical Romance, The Oh Hellos, The Amazing Devil, Lemon Demon, Kwiat Jabłoni

songs: Lavish, Bourgeoisieses, This is Love, ANARCONNASSE, Too Sweet, Sunlight, Midwest Indigo, Routines in the Night, l'altra dimensione, tous les memes

fandoms: marauders era, the lunar chronicles, the good place, grishaverse (haven't read king of scars yet tho), the cruel prince, some musicals (mainly Hamilton), DDLC, FNAF (I haven't played the games but I do really like the lore and songs), WTNV, AGGGTM, TØP lore

books: the cruel prince trilogy, red white and royal blue, they both die at the end, aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe, the midnight library, six of crows duology, 1984, animal farm

shows/films: the good place, loki, moon knight, the umbrella academy, heartstopper, hazbin hotel, legally blonde, tick, tick, boom!, hamilton, howl's moving castle

Hobbies: writing, reading, cello, painting, writing my own songs, D&D

miscellaneous:

I'm a band kid, I write songs and plays and stories and books ^^

I finished writing a book recently!! You can read it on AO3 here. Let me know if you want a pdf or epub version, I'd be happy to share!!

hogwarts house: slytherin apparently

grisha order: durast

godly parent: Apollo

divergent faction: amity (born candor)

hunger games district: probably eleven

I'm obsessed with Welcome to Night Vale (mountains are fake y'all, they were made up by the government)(although I haven't listened to a lot of it...)(Still love it tho ^^)

I'm absolutely a yapper, and love meeting new people, so feel absolutely free to dm me if you wanna chat!! <3

please consider using tone tags, I dumb as all heck

I have two younger siblings!! A brother and a sister :>

my people:

@andytheoverthinker - husband, partner, beloved boyfriend <3

@evee-refuses-to-die - squirrel extraordinaire, sweetest lil' insomniac

@lyionly - genuinely the most talented artist I know, best bio partner

@bjcf23 - favourite cousin ever <33

@astroocti - my drummer friend :D

mutuals: @erraticprocrastinator-alt @jess-of-all-trades @finnslay @moonysfavoritetoast @cazzythefrogking @chatter-crow @def-not-kaz-brekker @chaosgremlinlivinginyourwalls @waitingonadeathgodtocallmeback @saivamp @lemon-cosmoscollection @gay-for-zoya @agenaroace-a-fucking-disgrace @finleyforevermore @kaithe-enby404 @currently-becoming-potatoes @catinasink @vintagetee13 @clodoveah @ghost-of-a-poet @viago-vamps @ddlcbrainrot @pan-anarcho @gremleyn @discoveredreality @blue-bell-icecream @xrinnihil @artemisiamezzanotte @drifter-gaming @stqrgirl3 @my-castles-crumbling @winters-rose-daughterofcain @elliots1stshadow @daydream-of-a-wallflower @razz-is-queer @blood-slushy @starcrossedmoony @celestialserenity24 @justafanbutcurious @37x3

WAHHHH I LOVE YOU ALL!!! MANY HUGS AND KISSES FROM MOI <333

final section!! my bullshit:

#jonny writes stuff - my writing

#joy has thoughts - I say stuff

#joy on fandoms - anything fandom related

#joy on volleyball - I rant about volleyball I guess?

#joy has a strange mum - about my mother (sometimes I rant, idk what to tell ya--)

#joy on music - anything music related

#joy has friends - about my irls <3

#joy is gay for andy - about my beloved bf

#joy gets asks - I respond to asks!! May take me a while tho-

#the witchy saga - I post about witchcraft apparently

@joywritesbutitsactuallymystories - sideblog where I repost my writing

@prongsiedadeerest - my James Potter rp sideblog

my poems

my novel

my carrd for further contact info!!:

ok lovelies, that's it!! thank you for being here <3