#my agere journey

[littlegemstone]

What if we had a play date and watched Blue's Clues together and played with our stuffies and Legos and play doh?

What if we did arts and crafts and followed YouTube tutorials?

What if we had dinosaur nuggies and tater tots and chocolate milk for lunch?

What if we took the cushions off the couch and made a fort with all the blankets in the house?

What if we cuddled in the fort and took a nap with all our stuffies?

[pawtrolling]

nativity 🌠🐑📜

[dearybuneary]

ೀ Mage Caregiver Fern icons requested by @abc04 (please reblog if you save)! ೀ

(Overlay Credit)

[quinnysnursery]

boundaries between a regressor and caregiver - what are they and how to put them in place ! [a guide]

i often get people in my inbox saying "quinny i wanna ask my bf/gf/friend/etc to be my cg!!" which is great and awesome !! i'm so happy you found someone who you feel safe enough to regress with !! but, you little ones need to be mindful that finding someone to be your caregiver is only half the journey!!

so, here is a [mostly] compressive guide to agere boundaries !!

What are boundaries?

In simple terms, boundaries are the invisible lines we draw for our friends/family/significant other so we can feel respected in relationships!

These can be emotional, with examples such as :

Please don't discuss [insert triggering subject] when I'm present

Please don't shame my interests

Please don't lie to me

These can also be physical, which examples such as :

Please don't hold my hand without asking

Please don't sneak up behind me

Please rush me while I'm speaking

Boundaries are cool!! Can I have some?!

Of course you can kid! Boundaries are for everyone!

How can I set my boundaries?

Well first, you have to identify what your boundaries are! This is fairly easy!! Ask yourself some of the following questions,

Do I feel safe when [insert a specific action] occurs near me?

Do I feel loved when [insert a specific action] occurs near me?

[Examples of actions can include; yelling, lying, raising voices, etc etc.]

Once you figure out what your boundaries are, you can start vocalizing them! It might feel scary at first, but in the long run it'll lead to healthy communication and relationships :)

Find a time to sit with your regressor/caregiver to discuss both your boundaries, allow the conversation to be a two way street- be open to listening to your partners boundaries and answering questions [within reason].

This does not mean to allow your partner to pick and choose which of your boundaries they listen too. It simply means be open to further explaining how they can respect your boundaries- this could be a learning process for both of you !!

How do boundaries apply to caregivers and regressor relationships?

Let us get one thing clear, boundaries apply to every type of relationship. You and your boss at work, you and your teachers, you and your second cousin's dog walker...every type of relationship has boundaries because well, everyone has boundaries!

Regressors are allowed to have boundaries.

Caregivers are allowed to have boundaries.

It's important that we communicate these boundaries with our regressor/caregiver otherwise an incident can occur that can lead to an unhealthy/unhappy littlespace/carerspace.

Common boundaries that regressors may have :

Don't swear when I'm regressed

Don't shout at/around me when I'm regressed

Don't touch me on my [insert body part]

Common boundaries that caregivers may have :

I'm not comfortable with helping you [insert task]

I'm not comfortable discussing [insert topic] when you're regressed

I need space before I'm ready to properly caregive

if you've vocalized your boundaries yet find that there is a cycle of them being disregarded, then you may not be in a safe dynamic :(

[dividers creds to @softandsleepyboy]

-- with sparkles and love,

quinny 💌

[sunnysagereblog]

Some encouragement for my Age Dreamers:

💖 Just because you don't/can't fully regress, that doesn't make you any less valid.

🩵 You can still have a caregiver if you feel like you need own or even if you just want one that's okay too.

💖 It's okay if you don't want to do certain little activities if you're embarrassed. You don't have to force yourself to do those activities.

🩵 It's your coping mechanism. It won't look the same as others, and that's good. Don't compare yourself to others. You are on your own unique journey.

💖 If you're like me and want to fully regress but just can't, it's okay. It can be frustrating, I know, but don't be hard yourself. It's not your fault. You are doing everything right. You are just your own person. Don't try to force yourself to do something you can't. Just enjoy where you are right now.

🩵 You are still welcome in the Agere Community. There will always be a place for you.

I hope this reaches whoever needs it. And as a last in-general encouragement, I want you to know that you are loved. By so many and so much. You will never truly know how much you are loved. If you disappeared, you would be missed. Don't listen to the voices in your head that say otherwise. They are wrong. You are loved. I love all of you. You deserve happiness and all the best things in life. You are an absolute blessing to this world 💖

[babyhatesreality]

The Book was Better

Daddy!Stucky x little f!reader

Warnings: SFW Agere (SSC), f! reader, reader is named but name used sparingly, pet names/nicknames, fear of disappointment, a little language, fluff (I mean really do you expect anything less from me? :D)

PLEASE NOTE- THIS STORY IS AGERE AND SFW, THE REST OF MY BLOG IS NOT NECESSARILY SO. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. DO NOT COPY, PLAGIARIZE, OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS ONTO ANY SITE. Likes, comments, and reblogs deeply appreciated! 

A/N- for @asittwas, who just gave me the loveliest compliment and reblog. Thank you darling!! To all of you- sorry to be gone so long. Life hopefully is going to ease up for a while.

"Alright puppy, you ready?" Steve said, grinning as he finished tying your shoes.

"YES!" you screamed with joy, flinging yourself forward into his arms. He laughed and tossed you in the air, before bringing you into his chest and nuzzling your cheek lovingly. "Can we please go now pleeeeease?"

"Yup, it's go time! Let's get Daddy and head out."

You wriggled with excitement. You all were going to the zoo today! The day was finally here! They'd been hyping you up for a while over it- not that you needed the help getting excited- and you were nearly exploding for joy, hence Papa carrying you to find Daddy. If he put you down, you were likely to run roughly 9000 laps around the apartment just on adrenaline alone. And while chasing you was a good workout for the both of them, Steve and Bucky had agreed to keep your energy reserved for the zoo.

"What animals are you most excited to see today, little one?" Steve asked, bouncing you playfully as you made your way together to the bedroom. They had asked you the same question every day for the past two weeks, and you had a different answer every time.

You tapped your fingers against your lips, thinking. "Ummmm..." you mumbled as you thought hard. "Da tigers, and da sheep, and...and..." Steve pinched his lips together in amusement at this new combo and waited for you to finish your thought, "....and the DRAGONS!"

Well. That was an entirely new one.

Steve carefully cleared his throat, wanting to get ahead of this now. "Baby," he said gently, slowing down his pace a bit. You frowned and looked down at his feet, speaking before he could gather his thoughts and patting him hard on the shoulder.

"Papa, go faster!"

"Baby, listen-"

"Go faster to Daddy!! Now!!!"

"Hey," Steve said sternly, stopping immediately. You bit your lip, looking contrite. "Are you allowed to talk to me that way?"

"I sorry," you said, abashed. "I excited."

Steve smiled gently and gave you a kiss on the temple in forgiveness as he resumed his journey. "I know you're excited. But I need you to listen right now and be a good girl. Understood?"

"Okay, Papa!"

"Good girl. So...so there will be lots of fun animals at the zoo today, and we'll see them all, okay?"

"Okay!"

"But there might not be all the animals you want. Sometimes that happens."

"But dat's where dey live. In da ZOO. Dey gonna be dere."

"I know, honey," he said patiently, praying that this didn't go off the rails. They had been reading the Hobbit to you, and you had become obsessed with the characters, especially Smaug. He was the ultimate villain in all your playacting recently. Steve and Bucky tried so hard not to destroy your make believe world, but he also didn't want you to get crushed when you didn't see anything close to the dragon in your mind today. "We'll see all the animals that live at the zoo. But some animals don't live at the zoo."

"I know! Dey live all over the world and den some live at the zoo."

"Right. So the zoo doesn't have all the animals in the world. But that doesn't mean that we're not going to have lots of fun, right?"

"Right!"

"Right. So if an animal isn't there, then that's okay, right? Because we're still gonna have fun."

"Yup!"

"Okay, then!" Steve said, knowing he had laid the ground work to help you if you mentioned "dragons" again, and feeling pretty good about it. You two walked into the bedroom just as Bucky was pulling on a baseball cap. You squealed in delight, leaning forward out of Steve's arms towards Bucky. He spun around and effortlessly caught you, giving you a huge kiss on the cheek.

"Alright, Trouble, you ready?" he asked as Steve retrieved his own ballcap. "You ready to see all the animals?"

"Yeah! We gonna see DRAGONS!"

Steve's nervous gaze swung to Bucky's face. Bucky was looking at you impassively, clearly in thought. He turned and smiled gently, and Steve's heart stopped racing for a moment. Surely Bucky would help and say the right thing to you.

"Well, you never know at the zoo," Bucky said with a shrug and a grin. You cheered loudly. He chuckled at the look of astonished betrayal on his husband's face as you all headed out the door.

*******************************************************

It became clear to the both of them that the idea of dragons had taken hold of your little mind and was not letting up. The entire way there, you chatted animatedly about how when you saw the dragon, Papa and Daddy could pretend to be the knights and the kings and the elves and the hobbits from Daddy's book and save you- the beautiful princess- from certain death and then you- who also apparently wielded a convenient bow and arrow- would save all the animals in the zoo and become the Princess of New York City.

When you all went through the front gates, there was a blessed time when they thought they might be off the hook from this whole dragon thing. All the sights captured and held your attention. You were instantly mesmerized by the beautiful tigers, you laughed at the silly monkeys, you followed the paths of the birds and the peacocks being very careful not to scare them, and your eyes had taken on a wonderous look when you actually got to feed a giraffe. The petting zoo part had been a huge hit. They were almost home free, thinking about lunch as you skipped in between them down the path, holding both their hands.

"Can we see da dragons now?" you asked politely out of the blue, after about three hours of not mentioning it once. Steve shot Bucky a nervous look.

"Well, Baby, remember how I said that some animals don't live in zoos?" Steve said carefully

"Yeah, but-"

"Well, love, dragons don't do well in zoos. And this zoo doesn't have any dragons."

"Yes dey-"

"No, no they don't. But we can go see other animals and keep having fun, right?"

"Go see da dragons!"

"There's no dragons to see here, baby. We could go look at the zebras instead, how would you like that?"

You shook your head, planting your feet, which caused them both to stop. You pointed to a sign on the left, letting go of Bucky's hand.

"See? Da dragons is DERE!" you said triumphantly. "I see da word!!" They turned and looked. The sign that you were impetuously pointing to listed reptiles, tortoises, and...Komodo dragons. "See? Dragons!" You snatched Bucky's hand again, pulling them in that direction. "We gotta go!" you hollered joyfully, yanking your daddies as hard as you could to follow you.

"She must have recognized the word from looking at the book," Steve murmured to Bucky as he let you drag him towards the enclosure. "Do you think she's going to be upset when...when she sees it?"

"Only one way to find out," Bucky said, failing to suppress his grin at your stubbornness and determination, and trotting willingly with you. Steve sighed, exasperated, internally grumbling and swearing to himself that if you had a meltdown it was all going to be Bucky's fault.

Once you all got closer, you excitedly asked Bucky to pick you up in a hushed voice, knowing that dragons could hear intruders into their caves. You wanted a better view for your first time seeing a live dragon.

Steve watched your face very carefully as the three of you approached the large viewing area. He watched as your brow wrinkled in confusion. He heard you whisper to Bucky.

"Where is da treasure?"

Bucky, to his credit, answered quickly, having worked on his game plan all along. "Probably inside," he whispered back. "You know, so the other dragons and zoo people don't steal it. He's got it hidden extra extra good."

"Dat makes sense," you said, nodding wisely. You craned your neck, holding tightly onto Bucky as he tried to hold in a snicker. "How's come we see outsides and not a cave like da book?" was your next question.

"Because we don't want to go into the cave and get burned up, do we?"

"OH! No, don't want dat."

"I didn't think you did."

"But den how's he gonna come out?" You pointed to the opening in the rock. "Is too small."

Bucky was saved by a lizard in that moment. He didn't have a good answer to that one, but luckily the Komodo dragon chose to make his appearance right then. Both Steve and Bucky turned their faces to watch you as your jaw dropped in utter astonishment. The Komodo dragon took his sweet time stepping out of the enclosure, his long tongue flicking the air around him.

"What's he doing?" you asked in an awed voice.

"He's got the scent of something," Bucky whispered back, actually knowing the real answer here. "He senses and tastes something in the air and he's trying to figure out what it is."

"Ohhhhh," you breathed in wonder. Your eyes took in every inch of that Komodo dragon, your little body jolting with surprise or glee anytime the lizard moved. After about three minutes of you being nearly catatonic with joy at finally seeing a dragon, you turned to Bucky again, confusion crossing your face.

"Is bigger in da book," you commented as you tried to figure out why this dragon was so small.

Bucky couldn't help the snort of laughter at that moment, but as your little frown deepened just a bit, he passed it off as a cough then turned very seriously to you. "This must be a baby dragon," he explained in a lofty voice that was clearly supposed to be a stab at a scholarly approach. "A big dragon probably wouldn't agree to live at the zoo."

"But, den where is his daddy dragon? Is he gonna come back?" you asked anxiously.

"Oh yeah, of course," Bucky said without missing a beat. Steve suppressed a smile, knowing that NOW Bucky was mentally sweating bullets. Then, damn it all, Bucky once again dug himself out of the hole. "You know what? This is probably a distraction," Bucky whispered conspiratorially to you.

"Distra...districta...a what?"

"A distraction. The daddy dragon is guarding the real treasure, while the baby dragon makes everyone come look at him because he's so cute and sweet. No one will think to go looking for their treasure because the baby dragon distracts them!"

"Dat is so SMART!" you gasped in agreed. "Smart dragons! Like da books!!"

"Yup, exactly like the books."

You looked back at the Komodo dragon, smiling ear to ear, then turned back to both your daddies.

"Da book was better," you declared happily, then nodded sagely as if the matter was now closed. "Can we go see zebras?"

You all had a delightful rest of the day at the zoo, seeing all the animals, and that night you cheerfully went to bed without a fuss at the promise of a story with your daddies starring as the knights of New York who saved you from the dragon.

And for the rest of your lives, occasionally Steve or Bucky would turn to each other and quietly say "Eh, the book was better," making the each other laugh to the point of joyful tears.

[bonnie-the-mutt]

yesterday I had to explain to my caregiver that age regression isn't always fun and sweet and safe.

sometimes it's scary. sometimes it's ugly. sometimes it's impure.

though it can be sweet, ultimately age regression is a coping mechanism. it is a form of therapy. it takes work and energy. agere is how I'm rewiring my brain to know that I'm safe and okay now. it's how I teach myself to be a kid, since I didn't get to be one back then. it isn't always a pretty process. it's overwhelming and exhausting.

and that's okay :). age regression is there for you. you can heal and you can grow. we're all on this journey together.

[deesblanketfort]

25 agere moodboards! ★´ˎ˗

︶︶︶ day 20: Based on my gender ☆´ˎ˗

˗ˏˋ🐱´ˎ˗ I suppose the best way to describe my gender is: I am trans and I am meow meow

˗ˏˋ🏳️‍⚧️´ˎ˗ Though, seriously, As someone who is on their gender/transition journey for years at this point I have so so so many thoughts about gender both in an empiric and metaphysical context... however that's not a subject for this silly agere blog!

[littlegemstone]

I want a caregiver so badly.

I want someone to check on me and make sure I'm okay and tuck me in at night.

I want someone to hold me and kiss my hair and sing lullabies badly to me.

I want someone to call papa or mama or bubby, that calls me sweet nicknames too.

I want someone to love me.

[pumpkinheadspacestation]

Agere Age Guide

2 years version

Hello, pumpkins! This is the second post in a thread of posts I'm making! You can find the first post here, I accidentally posted it to my alt account but the rest of the posts will be posted on this page. I also want to preface this by saying that not everything I'm saying here is going to apply to everyone and each and every person who regresses or dreams will follow these traits and stuff!

Okay, now to the post!

Traits and Behaviors!

☠︎︎This is about the time that babies start to get up and play around, small jumps, walking, bouncing and maybe even some small sprints

☠︎︎Babies this age are starting to like playing with other babies and parallel play could be really fun at this age, they may have trouble sharing though so make sure to have enough eye grabbing toys for all the babies

☠︎︎This is also the age where babies may start to throw more tantrums and have bigger feeling, they naturally want to test the boundaries at this age and they don't like being told no. They're also going to be a bit more bossy and want their way.

☠︎︎Since this is the time they're starting to have bigger mood swings and test the boundaries, that may result in having big reactions which may be aggressive, they may hit, yell, throw tantrums or even hurt themselves to try and cope with their big emotions

☠︎︎They may mostly use hand gestures but they're starting to babble a lot more and mimic language

Activities to do With Your Baby

☠︎︎This is a great age to play a lot of simple puzzle games and games to practice motor skills, patty cake is a great game to play with your baby and so is playing with toys like stacking blocks and ring-stack toys

☠︎︎Pretend play, these babies are growing up fast! They want to be just like cg. Playing dolls and stuffed animals, putting them to bed and feeding them is a great way to spend time with your baby

☠︎︎This is a great time for parallel play, though babies won't always feel interested or know how to play together, they still love to interact with each other and play together to some degree and parallel play is a great fun for babies this age

☠︎︎New textures and sounds are extremely interesting to babies in their two's! Playing with new textures like sand, slime, dirt and more can be super fun for these babies!

Foods and Recipes

These tinies are starting their food journey, they're starting to upgrade from baby foods and apple sauce to solid fruits and hard cereals!

This is one of those things that's very individualized to each regressor! I can tell you what this age range usually likes to snack on but you should ask your tiny what they like either way.

☠︎︎String cheese and yogurts

☠︎︎Cut up fresh fruits

☠︎︎Dry cereals like honey nut Cheerios and fruit loops

☠︎︎Oatmeal

☠︎︎Eggs and tasty proteins

Babies in their two's are starting their palate expanding journey, usually it's best to stay away from super strong flavors and stick to mild and bland flavors. Younger taste buds are much stronger than adult taste buds so when your regressor was a bio baby, they most-likely had blander foods so giving them some mild and bland snacks can be a comforting factor t their baby space

Shows and Movies

Again, this is one of those things that are super individualized to each and every baby! So still be sure to ask your baby what they like to watch either way! Some shows and movies two-year-olds like to watch are

☠︎︎Doc Mc Stuffins

☠︎︎Bluey

☠︎︎Storybots

☠︎︎Bubble Guppies

☠︎︎Octonauts

☠︎︎Peppa pig

☠︎︎Pete the cat

☠︎︎Mickey mouse

☠︎︎Disney movies are super great for babies this age two, the vibrant colors and animated voices are sure to keep their attention. Though with some discourse involving Disney has come up, I know a lot of people have stopped using Disney plus. You can still find some amazing shows and mov.ies on places like Netflix, Pbs kids, nickelodeon, and more!

Potty Time for the Terrible Twos

Generally, kiddos are using the potty on their own anywhere from 1.5 - 3 years old but that doesn't mean that kiddos older or younger may deviate from that. There's good info Here about how to properly diaper someone and what products to use

This is also a great video on how to diaper yourself if you're a baby who does their own diapy changes.

Know Your Baby

You're going to want to know and talk to your regressor before they regress with you! The only way you'll be happy with each other is talking about boundaries and the best way to cat or to each other's needs beforehand. Having the awkward conversations are hard but necessary

I hope this helped! Like I said before, not all these things will apply to all regressors in the 2 year range. If you have any questions, go ahead and feel free to drop a comment or shoot me a message

[papa-wolf-2006]

🧸🍼

Tips for new Caregivers!❤️

(Coming from a caregiver of 2 years.)

1.) Communicate with your little!

Communication is key in any CG and little relationship! Whether your relationship is strictly platonic, romantic, or you aren't sure yet, communicating can help both of you understand one another and can help you as a CG learn more about your little (their likes, dislikes, boundaries, what petnames/nicknames are okay etc.)

2.) Set rules with your little one!

Something I wish someone had told me in the beginning of my caregiver journey is to set rules with my littles! Setting rules like brushing teeth twice a day or having a bedtime can positivity impact your little by giving them the chance to be healthier and have better sleep. I also noticed that some littles will even feel more small when given rules! So having rules set in place is overall a great way to help your kiddo! :]

(NOTE: Some littles prefer to not have structure, it really just depends on the little. I just find that most littles prefer to have rules as part of their Agere!)

3.) Set up a punishment/reward system with your kiddo!

Having a punishment/reward system for your little can actually be a great way to reinforce rules! Having little rewards like extra candy, a later bedtime, or even more screentime is a great way to encourage your little one to behave and follow the rules. Some punishments I personally have in place for my kiddos include "lines" (writing the same thing over and over again), limited screen time, and no sweets/candy for a week. NEVER USE PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT OR YELLING/SCREAMING. I don't care what you have to say about it, NEVER use violence to punish a kiddo. It is never okay, regardless of what they did. Hurting them can cause them to be reminded of trauma or even throw them into a PTSD flashback. In general, it's never a good idea to harm a kiddo whether it be emotionally or physically.

(NOTE: I will repeat myself, Never physically or emotionally harm your little one. It is never okay!)

4.) Know the difference between being a Caregiver and a babysitter!

Being a caregiver is a big responsibility! Being a babysitter, not so much! Being a caregiver means being there for your little one most of the time, this can look like daily check ins, calling and texting often and generally just being there for your kiddo! Being a babysitter is exactly what it sounds like, you're only watching the little for a small amount of time and aren't dedicated to them the same way a caregiver is!

5.) Learn how to handle breakdowns/panic attacks/anxiety attacks etc.

Learning to deal with breakdowns and such can Greatly help your kiddo feel safe and comfortable around you! Remember, not all regression will be pure. You will most likely at some point deal with impure regression which means your little may experience unstable emotions, anxiety attacks, panic attacks and breakdowns! Learn how to handle these things, and you'll be in the clear to help your little in these times of anxiety and sadness!

6.) Don't rush your little into calling you "special" names like mommy, daddy, etc.

Not all littles will be comfortable with calling you a special name immediately or ever! Some prefer calling you your name plain and simple, and that is perfectly okay! Trying to force/rush your kiddo into calling you something special may result in your little one not feeling safe/comfy around you anymore.

7.) Don't take care of more than you can handle!

As caregivers, it's in our nature to want to take care of as many littles as possible, but that's just not something we can do. It can be overwhelming to take care of more than one little at a time, I know that from experience! So if you know you can't handle it, don't! As tempting as it might be, don't bite off more than you can chew!

8.) Be open minded!

It's important to understand that not all littles will be the same, some may be more independent and others may need extra help! Try to have an open mind and an open heart when caregiving :]

That's all for now, if you find these tips helpful let me know! I hope you have a safe and lovely time caregiving!

[jgroffdaily]

The New Yorker Interview

Jonathan Groff Rolls Merrily Back

The actor reflects on his journey in reverse: from his latest Tony nomination to his arrival in New York, waiting tables and dreaming of Broadway.

By Michael Schulman, Photograph by Thea Traff

June 2, 2024

Excerpts:

One of the problems with “Merrily” is its protagonist, Franklin Shepard, whom we first meet as a slick, philandering forty-year-old Hollywood producer. It takes two acts to arrive at the charismatic musician he once was, with a lot of mistakes in between. Putting effect before cause gives each scene a painful irony—but how do you get an audience to care about a guy who’s off-putting for so long? “Merrily” is back on Broadway, in a production directed by Maria Friedman, and it’s finally a hit. One big reason is its Frank, played by Jonathan Groff, whose natural warmth shines through even in the character’s older, sleazier incarnation. When this revival opened Off Broadway, in 2022, The New Yorker’s Helen Shaw wrote, “Groff’s silky tenor and angelic face elevate a part that can sometimes be contemptible—for the first time, I could see Frank as both the dreamer who believes in greatness and the glib charmer who believes every lie he tells.”

Groff, thirty-nine, is now nominated for a Tony Award, alongside Friedman and his co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Lindsay Mendez. He was previously nominated in 2016, for “Hamilton,” in the scene-stealing part of King George III, and in 2007, for the indie-rock musical “Spring Awakening,” as the rebellious schoolboy Melchior Gabor—his breakout role, opposite Lea Michele. Groff had come to New York three years earlier, as a stagestruck, closeted nineteen-year-old from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, where he grew up among Mennonites and was obsessed with the original cast recording of “Annie Get Your Gun.” “Merrily,” with its themes of aging, idealism, and the vicissitudes of show business, has had Groff thinking about his own path toward stardom. “Doing this show on Broadway at this time, moving to New York twenty years ago, I’ve now lived the time frame of the show,” he told me recently.

We were talking at a bakery north of Washington Square Park. Groff had glided in on a bicycle. As we spoke, he frequently welled up with tears—he’s a crier—but regained his composure by focussing on a pair of googly eyes affixed to the wall behind me. For our conversation, which has been edited and condensed, I had an experiment in mind.

Let’s start with the extremely recent past. Three days ago, you went to the Met Gala. How was your night?

The big headline for me was Lea Michele was pregnant, and I sat next to her at the table, holding her giant train thing while she peed. She took it off, and I was holding that and her purse. I saw Zac Posen, who was at our table, help Kim Kardashian up the little tiny stairs, and I said to him, “Wow, that was such a sweet moment of the gay helping the diva.” I was relating to him, like with me and Lea. It’s a zoo of famous people. I was going to go to the after-parties, but my body was just, like, “No.” I hit a wall from the shows and the epicness of the week, with the Tony nominations. So I was home by eleven-forty-five, and in bed by midnight.

The Broadway production of “Merrily” opened last fall. You told Jimmy Fallon that Meryl Streep came to your dressing room, where you have a bar named BARbra, and she took a video of you and sent it to Barbra Streisand. Who else has been there?

The first thing that comes to me is sitting in BARbra in October or November, drinking whiskey with Sutton Foster. I came to New York as a teen-ager and saw her six times in “Thoroughly Modern Millie”—now she’s in BARbra, dropping in for, like, an hour and a half after the show, and it’s so full circle. Who else? Patti LuPone was there—another big one for me. Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Martin McDonagh. Glenn Close sent back a bottle of champagne to be chilled in BARbra, which we drank together.

This show, like every Sondheim show, is very dense. Over the course of three hundred-plus performances, are there certain moments that have suddenly hit you a different way, or that you realize have a double meaning?

Double, triple, quadruple, infinity. I’m still having revelations, which really makes me believe that it’s a true work of art. Maria [Friedman] talks about how, with Sondheim’s writing, he “leaves space,” which is why it’s always new. He always needed to work with a collaborator, and she talked about the actor being an essential collaborator. She said the lyric he wrote in “Sunday in the Park with George”—“Anything you do, / let it come from you, / then it will be new”—is Sondheim’s directive to the actor.

The Tuesday after the Tony nominations, I got to the theatre, screamed with Lindsay [Mendez], screamed with Dan [Radcliffe]. [He chokes up.] Then I was singing “Growing Up”—“So old friends, don’t you see we can have it all?”—which has meant so many different things to me in the run of the show. At yesterday’s matinée, Dan and I were sitting on the roof singing “Our Time”: “Up to us, pal, to show ’em.” We’ve done it a million times. We look at each other, and Dan just fucking loses it crying. He had to look away from me. We talked about it afterward, like, “What the fuck was that?” I don’t know. Something just happened.

When you started the show, in 2022, at New York Theatre Workshop, were there kinks in your performance that you’ve since figured out?

I remember feeling shocked at being disliked for so long in the first half of the first act. It was very clear from the energy of the audience that they loved Mary in the opening scene—immediately, they’re on her side. I’m out here as a gay guy, playing this straight, two-timing Hollywood producer who’s cheating on his wife. I’m already having to feel confident in a way that I don’t in my everyday life, this sort of swagger. And the audience hates me. I remember feeling scared and self-conscious. Maria, in that preview process, really helped with that, because she talked about the value of when it’s real, and you’re not playing ugly just to be ugly. The one line that I really struggled with was “I’m just acting like it all matters so people can’t see how much I hate my life and how much I wish the whole goddam thing was over.” That is a really confronting thing to say.

People might say that this is one of the fundamental flaws of “Merrily We Roll Along”—that you’re confronted with this cynical, smarmy Frank in the first act, and you don’t really understand him until the show’s over. I can imagine going into this not knowing if that’s a solvable problem, because it hadn’t been for decades.

Well, Maria wanted us to find the truth. She really believed that these characters weren’t archetypes, that there’s humanity in the writing from beginning to end. I found it after that first week or two of previews, not being so afraid. The line that made me want to do the show was “I’ve made only one mistake in my life, but I’ve made it over and over and over. That was saying yes when I meant no.” I’ve done that a lot in my life, and there was something that felt like the closeted version of myself. George Furth and Stephen Sondheim—I can only imagine being gay at the time that they were gay. Even though Frank is straight, there’s so much repression that feels very familiar to me.

Except that you felt it at the beginning of your life and not the middle, as Frank does.

Yes and no. I still feel it. I’m still trying every day not to go back. I’m obviously out of the closet, so that’s a huge relief, but I’m always going to be reckoning with the Republican upbringing that I had. I’m always negotiating whatever homophobia I’ve got. It’s all in there, still. What we see as ugliness in the top of the show, to stand and say, “I want to fucking kill myself, I hate my life,” and not overdramatize it but try to find it in the most pure, truthful place—it’s still, every night, a meditation to go there.

Let’s wind back. In 2021, you played Agent Smith in “The Matrix Resurrections.” Any good stories about Keanu Reeves?

Getting to play Agent Smith really unlocked rage inside of me that I didn’t know was there. That’s helped me so much with “Merrily,” particularly in the first act. Learning the kung fu was, like, months of fight training. They called me the Savage, because I was so into it. We were shooting a big fight sequence with Keanu, and, after the first few takes, I remember Lana [Wachowski] at the monitor, like, “Jonathan, come over here. Who is that?” I was, like, “I don’t know.” And she was, like, “And what is that?” I said, “Gay rage?”

I’d never shot a gun before. I shot Keanu and thought I had peed my pants, because I had this hot feeling. You know when you pee yourself and it’s warm? It lasted about ten minutes and then it went away. I sat next to Keanu and said, “Keanu, I just had extreme heat from my groin for, like, ten minutes.” And he was, like, “You opened up your root chakra.”

You turned thirty that year [Hamilton]? How was that?

I remember it vividly. We were at the Public Theatre. There was a fire in the East Village, and the show was cancelled that night. I got a cupcake at the deli around the corner from my apartment, on Sixteenth Street, and ate it by myself. I can be a bit of a loner, so that was a happy birthday for me.

(On Looking being cancelled)

But, in 2015, Michael Lombardo was our executive at HBO, and I was crying into my salad at some restaurant in West Hollywood, trying to convince him to keep the show going, right before getting on the plane to come do “Hamilton” Off Broadway.

I loved Raúl Castillo, who played your love interest Richie on the show. I interviewed him around then, and he told me that, since he’s straight, you all had to teach him some of the mechanics of what gay people do.

Oh, yeah! God, I love him so much. I officiated his wedding in July.

Let’s go back to 2013, when “Frozen” came out. You voiced the iceman Kristoff and the reindeer Sven. How did that film change your life?

It’s funny—I remember recording some of “Frozen” in San Francisco. I would be teaching Raúl, like, how to lick my asshole while jerking me off—not teaching him, but sharing the ins and outs of gay intimacy—and then going into the recording studio on a Saturday and being Kristoff and Sven in a Disney movie.

When they showed me “Let It Go” for the first time, I was, like, Oh, my God, this will help millions of people come out of the closet. This is the gayest thing I’ve seen in my life! That was the thing about “Frozen”: I don’t think anyone who worked on it thought it was going to be a juggernaut. It’s so weird to think of this now, but when it came out it felt quite alternative, because there was no villain, really, and the love was between two women. Now there are, like, tissues with Elsa on it.

Now we’re moving backward to “Spring Awakening.” By the time it moved to Broadway, in 2006, you were the twenty-one-year-old lead of the coolest musical in town. What was your actual life like?

I was so not cool. The show was cool, and the music was cool. I had people dropping me off joints at the theatre. And I remember fully understanding the stark difference between who I was playing onstage and who I was in real life, which was an extreme theatre nerd who wanted to be in the ensemble of “Thoroughly Modern Millie” and never would have imagined playing Melchior. It’s his gravitas. And trying to tap into that side of myself, which was a side I’d never experienced before.

Tell me about your audition.

I went to the open call and knew who Michael Mayer was, because he had directed “Thoroughly Modern Millie.” But it was “Spring Awakening” and I was, like, There’s a beating scene? This is so intense! They called me in for Melchior, then had me sing “Hey Jude” in a falsetto, and Michael was, like, “That was your falsetto?” And I laughed at him sort of making fun of me. Tom Hulce, who was our producer, told me years later that he moved my head shot from the “No” pile into the “Yes” pile because I had laughed at Michael in the audition, and he thought, This kid has the ability to let Michael roll off his back. We should bring him back in the next month or two.

It was, like, ten people up for Melchior. They brought me in first, because they thought they would just see me and cut me. But I had worked so hard on the audition material. I remember calling my dad the night before the final callback and saying to him, “I know I can’t be this character all the way yet, but I—”[He tears up again.] I really got to get my shit together! Why does this keep happening to me?

Because we’ve gone on an emotional journey.

I guess so, in reverse! Fuck me. [Pauses.] I knew that I had it inside, if they would just give me the chance. That’s all I was trying to say, but I guess I can’t stop crying while I’m saying it.

In 2005, you made your Broadway début, as an understudy in “In My Life.” Now, this was the weirdest musical I’ve ever seen. As I recall, there were dancing skeletons in a song about how everyone has a skeleton in their closet, a giant lemon that came from the sky at the end, and a girl on a scooter who turns out to be a ghost. And it was written by the guy who wrote “You Light Up My Life,” who then came to a dark end.

And his son!

Yes, his son killed his girlfriend. What the hell was going on with that show? Did you ever go on?

I went on for the ensemble members. I was so excited! I was in my first Broadway show, at the Music Box Theatre, walking in where it says “Stage Door.” And you couldn’t give away tickets to see the show. People were coming to laugh at the show from the audience.

Like “Springtime for Hitler”?

Exactly. And the cast had to do the show, even though people were laughing at them, which is devastating for the actors. But we formed a little family. It’s the plight of the actor. You’re just out there, like Sally Bowles in “Cabaret.” I was twenty years old, so I was lit.

Had you been waiting tables?

Yeah. The whole year before that, I was at the Chelsea Grill, in Hell’s Kitchen. The day I got to New York—October 21, 2004—I moved to Fifty-first Street and Ninth Avenue, before it was super gay, and I walked down Ninth and got a job waiting tables. A week later, I waited on Tom Viola, who runs the charity Broadway Cares, and became a bucket collector. I’d watch the second act of shows and then collect the money at the end. I went to hundreds of auditions, trying to get my Equity card. That, to me, was “Opening Doors,” from “Merrily”—that moment of sheer will and ambition and ignorance.

We’ve now reached our finale, which is 2004. Can you tell me about the decision to move to New York?

My mom was a gym teacher and my dad is a horse trainer, and they didn’t really understand anything about the performing world. But my dad grew up on a dairy farm, and he was supposed to take over and become a Mennonite preacher, which is what my grandfather was. My dad didn’t like cows—he liked horse racing, so he sort of rebelled and did his own thing. My mom always says that nurse, secretary, or teacher were the options for women in a small town at that time, but her passion was sports, so she ended up being a coach.

So they understood the power of fanning the flame of passion. When I was a kid and into acting, they drove me to play practice. They drove me to community theatre. My senior year of high school, my mom drove me to New York to audition for this bus-and-truck tour of “The Sound of Music.” I got that tour, and deferred my admission to Carnegie Mellon. I made ten thousand dollars after a year on the road, and I learned so much from getting to act every day. I wanted to take my ten thousand and move to New York, and my parents were super supportive: “If you feel like you need to go to college, you can always go to college. But take a gamble and move to the city.” I’d worked at this theatre in Lancaster called the Fulton Opera House, where I’d met this girl who wanted to move to New York, so she became my roommate.

To me, “Merrily We Roll Along” is about how difficult it is to stay in touch with the person you were as adulthood knocks you sideways and forward. When you think about nineteen-year-old Jonathan coming to New York, do you feel like you’re the same person? What’s changed?

[He bursts into tears.] I can’t tell why I cry! When we were about to start rehearsal for “Merrily,” I would listen to “Our Time,” and I couldn’t sing it without crying. And, when I think about that version of myself—I think it’s because that person who brings you here does diminish. Maybe it’s the grief for that person. The whole reason that I’m here now is because of that person, but that person no longer exists.

But that person is still in there, somewhere. That voice is so quiet now, but it’s still driving my choices. You have to make choices. You get older, that pure inspiration dies, but it doesn’t have to go all the way away. I think that’s the whole point of the show, why it goes backward. Maria says that Sondheim put all of his regret into it, so that we could have less regret for ourselves. And perhaps the reason it ends with these people, with these versions of ourselves that we remember when we see it, is that it’s an invitation to remember and honor that person.

Why does that make me cry? Is it grief? Is it joy? I don’t know, but I’m so grateful for that purity and that optimism. The first month that I was here, feeling so lost and confused, I pulled the Bible that my Mennonite grandmother gave me off the bookshelf. She gave me that Bible before I left town. I was alone in the apartment thinking, What the fuck am I doing in New York? Or not even “what the fuck”—I didn’t swear until “Spring Awakening,” and when I would sing “Totally Fucked” I would get beet red. And I remember putting the Bible down and thinking, This is not the answer. This is not making me feel good. And then running to Central Park and standing in front of the Bethesda Fountain. I was nineteen, and I was, like, This feels better—but, like, What? Who am I? What am I doing here? I know I want to act, but I’m so scared. And gay. But it was something—some voice, some passion, some inspiration. Some something brought me here.

[agerefandom]

🧸 Hannibal?

Oh Hannibal is big caregiver energy!

I like it when people flip the script and write him as a regressor, but he's sooo settled as a cg in my brain.

Three Headcanons:

1- Hannibal is almost never protective of people, and that is intentional: the world shapes them and that is the process that fascinates him. I think that a regressor would cross that line: he would want a lot more control over what happens to them and how it impacts them.

That's not to say that he wouldn't allow harm to befall them, but he would want to be the cause of the harm, and be there afterwards to put the pieces back together in the shape that suits him best.

2- Hannibal would absolutely thrive on putting together a wardrobe for a regressor: all the little touches that reinforce regression (buttons that they can't do themselves, so he has to help: the clothes a little too big in specific spots to make them feel physically smaller)

3- he would want to Know so much, it's overwhelming to consider: he would want to know all the regression triggers, positive and negative, even the ones that the regressor isn't aware of themselves. He would want to know activities that make a regressor comfortable, and ones that make them feel vulnerable but not enough to push them out of regression: the memories that they associate with regression and the ones that they've repressed. He would want to know every inch of someone's childhood and their journey into regression before he'd met them. A vast expanse of knowledge that he can use to push in the smallest and most subtle ways.

send a character and a 🧸 and I’ll give you three random agere headcanons!

[fennytama]

I was talking to a mutual on a epic the musical agere discord channel, and they was talking about if there was a EPIC themed tarot deck, who will be what in the deck.

I took the liberty to try to list every character and who I think will be in terms of the major arcana deck.

---

*Crack knuckles*

Ok so the Fool card would be Odysseus; you can *argue* polites can fit it but Odysseus imo is better, because in the upright position it means innocence, new beginnings and free spirit, while reverse (negative) is recklessness, taken advantage of, and inconsideration.

Odysseus pretty much fits all of that (kinda??), with him believing if he stuck with Polites' open arms he'd get his way while Athena and Poseidon tried to teach him he needs ruthlessness as well to succeed; naivety and innocence aren't the same but they are synonyms so I'll take that- New beginnings is literally just him learning how to be a monster and balancing ruthlessness and open arms, also his journey from Troy to Ithaca, free spirit is just me bsing with Odysseus just being Odysseus- my brain died a little for a reason for that.

Negatively, he was pretty reckless in not killing Polyphemus, not checking if someone lives in Polyphemus's cave before going in with his crew and staying up for 9 days (I know why he stayed up but doesn't negate bro could've died from sleep deprivation at literally ANY point in that week). Also battling Circe alone and trusting Hermes with the moly. He does get taken advantage of sometimes being a plaything with the gods; you can say he got taken advantage of by his crew, who waited until he was asleep to open the windbag. As well as, he was inconsiderate in not taking Eury worries seriously and just brushing them aside/shutting them down when he is literally his second and act as the voice for his crew.

--

So yeah that's who I think would fit the fool card and this isn't to say my thoughts are correct, I'm just having fun with this since I love tarot!

Feel free to ask me who to do next, I have thought about this for way too long lml.

[natsuki-bakery]

⁎˚ ఎ Johnny Cage x Reader ໒ ˚⁎

Johnny Cage with a young adult reader who’s inexperienced in life hcs + one-shot

•Johnny takes on a protective role, seeing your inexperience as a chance to guide and mentor you. He’s always ensuring you don’t get into situations you’re not ready for

•He uses his sense of humor to teach you important life lessons. He believes learning should be fun, so he often shares his experiences through funny anecdotes and stories

•Cage is your biggest cheerleader, always encouraging you to try new things and step out of your comfort zone

•Johnny is patient with you, taking the time to explain things and never making you feel embarrassed about your lack of experience. He’s been through a lot himself and knows that everyone has to start somewhere

•Whether it’s landing your first job, learning to drive, or even small victories : he celebrates each step of your journey with enthusiasm !

You’re sitting in a quiet corner of a bustling café, nervously stirring your coffee. Johnny Cage, the ever-charismatic and energetic movie star, sits across from you, a reassuring smile on his face

"So, you’re about to start your first job, huh? That’s awesome!" Cage started the conversation between you two, releasing positive and comforting energy

"Yeah, but I’m kind of freaking out about it. I don’t really know what to expect..." you admitted, glancing down at the coffee you just ordered, with a sad look on your face

Johnny chuckles, leaning back in his chair. "Hey, everyone’s a rookie at some point. I remember my first big movie, terrified out of my mind! But look at me now. You’ll get the hang of it, trust me!"

"I just don’t want to mess up..." you responed

Johnny leans forward, his expression turning serious but kind : "Listen, mistakes are part of the deal. You learn from them, you get better. And you’ve got me in your corner. Anytime you need advice or just someone to talk to, I’m here ! " he quickly rassured.

"Thanks, Johnny. That means a lot" you smiled, feeling a bit more at ease

"No problem! Now, how about we celebrate this new chapter with a little training session? I’ll teach you some moves to boost that confidence of yours" he suggested

You laugh, the tension easing away. "Alright, let’s do it!" you replied with a grin

"That’s the spirit! And remember, I love seeing you grow and take on the world. It’s exciting, and I’m proud of you" Johnny respond to your enthusiasm

With that, Cage leads you out of the café, ready to help you tackle whatever comes next with his trademark enthusiasm and support

DNI: basic criteria, DSMP, vivziepop/h4zbin h0tel/h3lluva b0ss fans, Owl h0use fans, St4r butterfly fans, Ghibli fans, ddlg/abdl, nsfw/k!nk, anti-agere, anti Christians blogs

[sebsxphia]

Hi Seb! Fic request anon here!!! I totally get inspiration is a fickle thing, so if this doesn’t spark inspiration or you don’t feel comfy writing it, no worries! 🥰🥰🥰

So after re-reading a bunch of your Bob fics and your daddy bobby fics, I got to wondering how daddy bobby might handle a situation where his sweetheart regresses because of trauma reasons? I kinda do the same thing and I just imagine daddy bobby would be the absolute gentlest and so good at helping his little one move from feeling very very small and scared to still feeling small but safe again 🥺

bunny. | playtime boxes.

robert ‘bob’ floyd x little!reader.

￫ description: bob can tell when his bunny isn’t feeling too good, but he’s going to make sure they feel safe and comfortable in his arms.

￫ word count: 2.7K.

￫ c/w: age regression, regressing due to trauma, mentions of trauma and fluff, fluff, fluff.

￫ a/n: i hope you enjoy this my love! <3 | woodland creatures | agere masterlist | main masterlist |

Something, or someone, had spooked you. And Bob could tell.

You were his little bunny, and right now he thought as though you appeared as a bunny who was caught in the headlights. You were quiet during the car journey back to your home, and you continued to be quiet as you shed your winter jacket and kicked off your shoes by the front door. Your eyes were wide and darting around, with your eyebrows furrowed in both confusion and a hint of fear. He was sure he didn’t even see you blink. Your bottom lip was furiously being chewed on by your teeth and you drew the sleeves of Bob’s sweatshirt over your hands, in an attempt to hide yourself as much as you could.

Bob turned around from hanging up his coat next to yours, with a look of deeply concerned love etched over his features. His eyebrows furrowed softly and he placed his steady hand on yours, which were currently wrangling themselves around each other under Bob’s sweatshirt.

He cocked his head down to you and asked softly, as if not to spook you further.

“You okay, my little bunny?”

You shook your head almost instantly. Your teeth were still chewing on your bottom lip and you were unable to look Bob in the eye.

Your eyes were still darting around.

Seeking something out.

Safety. Comfort.

Your voice broke and Bob’s heart went with it.

“No. Don’t feel good. Wan’ be small.” You weakly mumbled out between your swollen lips.

His heart didn’t break because you wanted to regress. No, it broke because something was causing you to crack and in an attempt to soften the blow, you were regressing due to trauma. Seeing your distress from your trauma caused his heart to break. It may take days or weeks for you to explain what occurred to have you feeling so spooked (he had an inkling that it was who you saw), but that didn’t matter to Bob right now.

What mattered to him was you, and your wellbeing. He wanted you to regress with safety and comfort, and he would be there with every cautious step you took until he could hear your soft little snores, as you fell asleep on his chest.

His fingers on yours let themselves wrap around your sleeves and interlink themselves, to guide you with him down the hallway in your warm home.

“Alright, my little bunny!” Bob’s tone was switched up almost instantaneously. It resembled eagerness, to show you that he was thrilled to be your caregiver and he was here to look after you now. It was a switch in tone that you took to instantly with him and you pressed your body up to his broad arm and gripped onto it. Almost as though you were shielding yourself from the cover of your caregiver. You knew that he was here to protect you and that provided you with a great sense of comfort. You could already feel an inch of your tense shoulders slip away, as that familiar, fuzzy headspace slowly clouded your senses.

“Let’s get into Bunny’s playroom and we can have a look at your activity boxes, alright, little one?”

Bob felt the nod of your head against his arm and he smiled softly to himself, pleased that you were taking to this already familiar headspace and dynamic. However, he could still sense the tenseness residing in your muscles, and how tightly you were gripping onto his hand and arm.

Your playroom was your favourite room. It made you feel small when you needed it, it made you feel like you and your Daddy could conquer the world when you were playing, but most importantly, it made you feel safe. Safe inside from the big, bad, horrible world outside and the nasty people who resided there.

It was coloured with pastel pinks, blues and purples, with bright bursts of colour where needed. It held all of your stuffed animals (besides the ones you slept with every night), toys ranging from the ages of infancy, to five years old. There were colouring books, pencils and pens, alongside reading books and the entire collection of Peter Rabbit. Inside a small stack of drawers, were some of your clothes that you preferred to wear when you regressed, the others being kept in your shared bedroom with Bob for when you were going to sleep together.

When you weren’t sleeping together and you needed a nap during the day, there was a single bed in the corner of your playroom. When you weren’t napping in it, it acted as a fantastic sofa where you and your Daddy would read together, or watch a film before you fell asleep. There was a small screen television with a stack of DVDs next to it, sitting opposite your bed.

Most importantly in the room, however, and where Bob was leading you to currently, were your activity boxes.

For you, inside these boxes held items such as activities to do, clothing and utensils, like the pacifier or bottle you preferred, and a comfort item. Something that would help soothe whatever your needs were right now.

For Bob, however, these boxes contained something else. A gauge for how you were feeling, how small you were and most importantly, your current emotional well-being and headspace.

Bob knew that his sweetheart could regress positively, and would simply want to enjoy being small and let go of adult responsibilities, but, he also knew that his sweetheart could regress due to trauma. These boxes were created by you both, so when you simply couldn’t communicate verbally, you were still able to tell your caregiver exactly what you needed.

Bob could tell that you were still struggling to shake something off and he suspected that you were regressing due to the latter. He registered how tightly you were holding onto him and how firmly you pressed yourself into his side, not wanting to have your safety blanket of him, taken away from you. He held onto this as he held onto you, leading you into your playroom and sitting down with you on the plush carpet in front of the boxes. As he sat down and guided you with him, he placed you onto his lap, and like butter melting in a hot pan, you melted into him. You sat in his lap and instinctively your arms rang around his neck, burying your face into his neck and collar. The warmth of his skin and his familiar scent of lavender, mixed with a muskier wooden smell, flooded your nostrils and soothed another inch off your shoulders.

Bob had one firm arm wrapped around you and kept you safely in place next to him. His other outstretched and pointed at the boxes.

“Okay, my little one. Do you want to tell Daddy which activity box you’d like?”

You peered out from your hiding face that was pressed into his neck. A confused frown was etched onto your features and he watched as your eyebrows knitted tightly together, your frown turning into frustration. Bob heard a tiny and frustrated grumble come from your throat.

Verbalizing your preferred box couldn’t happen, so instead he pointed at the four boxes and asked with a soothing lilt in his voice.

“This one?”

He repeated the question for each box, but still came no real signs of indication which you wanted right now. Your frown of frustration was now combined with your bottom lip wobbling and your eyes turning glassy.

The frustrated grumble in your throat became a whimper and you buried your face back into Bob’s neck, at your best attempt to hide. He felt you swallow thickly and he heard you sniff back the tiny tears that were escaping.

Mumbled against his t-shirt, he heard your voice shake with uncertainty and again, upset frustration.

“No… don’t… know.”

“Oh, my little bunny.” Bob cooed at you, with one of his hands resting on the back of your head and cradling you gently. He rocked you slightly in his lap and let your tears dampen his t-shirt.

He knew.

He knew before you even picked out the box.

You were very, very tiny.

Bob comforted you with the easiest phrases for your tiny headspace. “It’s okay, Bunny. Big decisions are hard, but how about,” His hand slid round from the back of your head to your chin, to angle your teary eyes to his. “You show Daddy what feeling is in there, right now.” His slender index finger gently tapped on your chest. He knew that you couldn’t articulate what your brain was processing right now, but deep in your chest and against your rib cage, was always where you felt it most, and Bob knew that.

“Are you feelin’, happy?”

Bob registered how you didn’t react to that emotion and moved onto suggesting the next.

“Brave?”

Again, no reaction found its way to your tear-stained face.

“Sad?”

Your breath hitched.

“Scared?”

Your breath hitched again and your eyebrows furrowed, with your eyes darting around as they did when you initially came into your loving home.

Bob was proud of you and that you were able to communicate to him how you were feeling, but the emotions themselves made his stomach drop through to the floor.

His career as a pilot, and now flying in Top Gun, had always been a job for him. He was proud of his accomplishments, but it was just another day at the office for him. However, when he held your frightened and upset body, tightly in his arms, he swore that he would fire his missiles down on whoever made his Bunny feel like this. But that was for another moment in his life to consider. Right now, his utmost priority is you. He took great pride in being your caregiver and perhaps, he was even prouder of himself for taking care of you like this in such an intimate way, that surpassed his career.

Bob was drawn out of his train of thoughts by your face being pushed back against his shoulder and the sound of a small whine escaping your lips.

“Dada…” You mumbled out with a whine. Your hands grabbed tight fistfuls of his t-shirt. Bob recognized that this was your way of agreeing that you needed that particular box right now and most importantly, that you needed your Daddy to come with it.

He pressed his cheek against yours and pressed a gentle kiss to your temple, with his hand cradling the back of your head again. In a close and reassuring voice, Bob said, “I’m so proud of you, my little bunny, for telling Dada how you’re feelin’ right now.”

You felt an instantaneous weight being scraped off your shoulders. For within your tiny headspace, you came to understand that you had your Dada Bobby and your box. Things would be okay. You were going to be okay.

Bob felt the pressure of a deep breath release from your lungs and you lifted your head from his shoulders, although you were still holding on tightly to him.

“Dada…”

Your glassy eyes were still glazed over and your cheeks were still pink from the tears you shed, but that tight knot of frustration in your eyebrows had melted away. Bob understood your one verbal need.

“Shall Dada and Bunny open the box?”

You nodded slightly and he noticed a tiny curl in the corners of your lips, almost showing a small smile coming to grace your beautiful features. He responded with his full showing smile as he reached over to your box, to draw it closer to you both. He had one broad forearm still wrapped tightly around your waist to keep you firmly placed in his lap. He understood that any break in contact with himself could cause you to fall back into distress.

Inside this particular box held activities for you that were catered towards a tiny headspace, and that also involved your Daddy joining in and helping you. There was a brightly coloured, wooden shaped sorting box, to which Bob would help you match the shapes to the holes in the box. There was a bead maze, which you loved when Bob would put his large hand over yours to help guide the beads around the wire. Some storybooks were made of a whole array of different materials, with Bob helping you feel out each material and bring the sound of it close to your ear. There were a handful of colourful rattles, with different shapes and thicknesses to create different sounds. This box was very much made for you both to indulge within the senses and focus on the shapes and colours, together. It was stimulating for you, but gently within your tiny headspace, and absentmindedly, it would help distract you from the horrid torment that was racing around in your head.

There was a pastel pink pacifier, with a bunny rabbit print, and a soft, plush pacifier clip to attach it to, matching in colour. Bob nimbly attached it to your t-shirt, before placing it gently to your mouth. You let out a quiet, yet joyful hum as you soothed yourself. The last thing in your box was your baby bottle, which was decorated with sparkly wildlife stickers. He knew that you desperately needed to hydrate yourself, but to not break contact from his warm body, or this distraction, was paramount for you right now.

“Can Bunny help Daddy, slot these shapes away? ‘nd then, can Bunny help Daddy get something to drink? Daddy’s so thirsty!”

Bob played off the dramatics in a very convincing manner, as you eagerly nodded your head and behind your pacifier, he spotted the very first signs of your gleeful smile. A louder squeal was let out from your lips and one of your hands detached themselves from Bob’s t-shirt to grab onto the shaped sorting box.

It had worked. Twenty minutes later and you were still wrapped tightly around Bob’s frame, but giddily squeezing him and babbling behind your pacifier, as he filled up the last inch of your baby bottle with water and screwed the lid on tight.

In between this time, as you moulded into your Daddy and soaked up his comforting hold, it also enabled you to be parted, for just a couple of seconds, knowing that his warmth was right there. Therefore, Bob had been able to swap out your previous clothes for your matching, pastel pink, romper. It was buttoned and in case you still needed to feel his skin on yours, he could pop the first couple and press his warm skin to yours.

Bob chuckled at your constant squeezes to his waist and nonsensical babbling. “Alright, my little one, c’ere,” He reached down to your waist with a smile and picked you up to hoist you to his hip. “There you go.” He carried you back to your playroom with your bottle still in one hand. He gently nudged his fingertips with his spare hand, into your sides to get you giggling. The sweet laughter that rang out behind your pacifier was enough to cause his own.

“What game shall Dada ‘nd Bunny play next? Hm?” His eyes went wide behind his glasses and his eyebrows raised. He was putting on a face of excitement to keep you intrigued and engaged with your activities.

“Bee, Dada! Bee! Bee!”

He knew that you meant the bead maze. He laughed again as you squealed out your next activity with the utmost enthusiasm, and how you were already eagerly squirming in his grip to get back down on the floor of your playroom and huddled onto his lap.

He did exactly that and sat you down on his lap with the bead maze retrieved, and your bottle still in his hand. He rested you against him so that with one hand, he could hold the bottle to your lips and feed you, and his other could rest on yours and guide themselves along the beads, up and over the curling pieces of wire. His broad frame and shoulders almost wrapped themselves around you, as his arms outstretched to meet yours and the bead maze. You were cuddled tightly into his chest. You felt protected. You felt loved.

With the gentlest touch to move the beads, Bob had gently moved his little one from feeling terrified, to safe.

As you came close to finishing the last of your bottle, Bob removed it and placed your pacifier back. He pressed a featherlight kiss to your temple and before he continued with the exciting playtime that stood before you both, you heard his soothing voice next to your ear.

“Daddy’s so proud of you, my little bunny. I love you.”

tagging those who may be interested: @sunblchdfly @lewmagoo @peachystenbrough @rhettabbotts @becks-things @unmistakablyunknown @floydsmuse @just-in-case-iloveyou