#my 17-year-old self is at peace with this

[verynonspecific]

FRANCIS: I cannot put you from my thoughts. I have never made the acquaintance of so enchanting a woman. All that passion simmering beneath the surface... ISABEL: First you kiss me, and now you're comparing me to a pot of soup? What's next? FRANCIS: A lifetime together... is what I'm hoping. ISABEL: You and I, how can you presume...? FRANCIS: I realize I have few prospects and I… I haven't much to offer you other than my word as a gentleman that I will never lie to, nor will I ever, ever hurt you. ISABEL: You're serious, aren't you? FRANCIS: I have never been more serious in my entire life. And you... deny your feelings for me? ISABEL: Aye, I can, I've been denying my feelings all my life... What makes you think I can stop now? FRANCIS: ... Love? After a lifetime of sacrifice and duty to others, we deserve some happiness of our own making. We're not young, so each and every moment is precious.

[wormsdyke]

it is by the grace of god alone that misfits and magic did not come out while i, a teenage autistic person experiencing psychosis with extreme religious undertones, was in high school

[sweet-s0rr0w]

Vintage Drarry Fics

Thought I'd put together a list of some of the old Drarry 'classics' of my teenage years, for anyone interested. All posted between 2001-2006, compiled using my (bad) memory, a lot of googling, fanlore.org and numerous different LJ rec accounts (including the incredible @capiturecs). I checked as best I could, but if anyone knows of any fics that their author doesn't want to be shared, please let me know and I will of course remove.

Please also note that these fics are of their era, when attitudes may have been different, and they may not all be grammatically perfect. I haven't reread all, as my own tastes have changed, but most importantly do note that they may not be tagged - don't blame me when, for example, Harry dies tragically on a rooftop at sunrise...

Hogwarts Era (mostly 5th-7th year)

A Thousand Beautiful Things by Duinn Fionn/geoviki (M, 105k)

Draco Malfoy struggles with changed fortunes, shifted alliances, an ugly war, and an unusual spell, with the help of a concerned professor, an insightful house-elf, and an unexpected Gryffindor friend.

All Bets Are Off by Allegra (R, 53k)

I am SICK of Good-little-innocent!Harry...Enter Playboy!Harry and his Overinflated Ego, a challenge, a bet, a couple of Really Cunning Plans - and there you have it, "Forty days and forty nights", Hogwarts style. Mayhem ensues! 

Angels and Devils by beren (E, 52k)

Harry defeated Voldemort and his act of heroism is famous throughout the wizarding world. He's trying to finish his final year at Hogwarts in peace, but, thanks to the method he chose to destroy The Dark Lord, something peculiar is happening to him, something he never would have expected. It's all rather embarrassing and making his life very complicated.

Artful Facade by Sky Sorceress (T, 66k)

Sometimes you fly too close to the sun and lose your wings. With sixth year approaching, the danger Harry seeks can be found only in the form of Draco Malfoy. What follows is a twist in the line between hatred, love, and need.

Beautiful World by Cinnamon/Lissadiane (M, 70k)

Harry finds out he's going to die on his 16th birthday. He embarks on a journey of self-destructive behaviour and drags Draco along for the ride. 

Beneath You by Cinnamon/Lissadiane (M, 113k)

Draco had no idea that the repercussions of stealing Potter's journal and shoving it down the back of his trousers would be so extreme.

Bond by AnnaFugazzi (M, 173k)

It seems 95% of H/D writers feel compelled to write a "Harry And Draco Are Forced To Be Together By Something Beyond Their Control And Then Unlikely Stuff Happens That Leads To Twoo Wuv" story. Count me among the 95% ;)

Checkmate by Naadi Moonfeather (T, 245k)

Draco has the perfect plan to get Harry Potter and challenges him to a game of Dare Chess. But is it love, or betrayal, he has in mind?

The Cicatrix Cycle by Ivy Blossom (NC-17, long!)

Three parts: Origins, Haven, Belong

Draco In Darkness by Plumeria (T, 41k)

Following an accident in his seventh year, Draco loses his eyesight. After Harry elbows his way into Draco's dark world, both boys find themselves in a strange new friendship, and they each learn new ways to see each other … and themselves.

Eclipse by PhoenixSong/Mijan (T, 287k)

"You're dead, Potter... I'm going to make you pay..." Draco swore his revenge on Harry for Lucius's imprisonment, and Harry all but laughed at him. But Draco is planning more than schoolyard pranks this time. The old rivalry turns deadly when Draco abducts Harry for Voldemort. It's the perfect plan, guaranteeing revenge, power, and prestige, all in one blow. But, when Draco's world turns upside down, the fight to save himself and Harry begins, and the battle will take them both through hell and back. If they come back. 

Friend Like Me by Lady Vader (M, 11k)

Draco's rendition of the love story that never was.

How Harry Potter Got His Groove Back by Durendal/Eleveninches (R, 12k)

Snape tries to hang himself, Draco enters an alternate reality, and Harry Gets a Clue. Humor, SLASH, naughty language, and other Evil Things. Harry/Draco, Snape/James/Lucius.

Irresistible Poison by Rhysenn (PG-13, 124k)

Under the influence of a love potion, Draco learns that poison doesn't always bring death -- there are other ways to suffer and live. Chemical emotion runs feverish as Harry and Draco discover the intoxication of love.

Lettered by pir8fancier (M, 7.8k)

Harry has a secret penpal, whose identity is as plain as the nose on his face. Except he's not wearing his glasses.

Love Under Will by Aja (R, 116k)

In their 5th year, Harry and Draco choose to be with one another; but the story--and the battle-- is just beginning...

playing the game, living the lie by Abaddon (R, 159k)

Set in Sixth Year, both the wizarding and Muggle worlds are threatened as Voldemort plans a final revenge. Past, present and future collide as all must consider where their loyalties lie; who they are, and who they want to be. Amidst it all, Harry and Draco begin a dangerous journey of understanding. Is it possible to leave everything you thought you were behind?

Resolution by Frances Potter (R, 322k)

When you've spent six years fighting evil, all you really want is a quiet time. But when your name is Harry Potter the chances of that are very slim. A series of vignettes chronicling Harry's final six months at Hogwarts. Exams, friends, lovers, Quidditch, the war and Draco all conspire to make the year end seem a very long way away.

Seamus is Seamus and You are Yourself by Ari Munami (PG-13, 31k)

Harry goes through some er... changes in his Sixth Year and everyone, including Draco Malfoy, sits up and takes notice.

Snakes and Lions by GatewayGirl (M, 139k)

When Ron and Hermione get together, they notice only each other. A nightmare prompts Harry to return alone to the empty Chamber of Secrets, and leads to a new look at an old enemy. Harry enjoys the company, but with Bellatrix Lestrange actively hunting him, how far can he trust a Death Eater's son?

Something Impossible by epicylical/Cassandra Claire (PG, 6.4k)

As punishment for an act of vandalism, Draco is forced to perform three tasks to win Harry's forgiveness - only they don't turn out to be exactly the kind of tasks he'd been expecting. With wet shirtless Draco, paint-covered Harry, and Proust-reading Goyle.

Transformation by amalin (E, 98k)

In Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts, he must face the consequences of the attack on the Department of Mysteries and the effects of Voldemort's return. And in doing so, he finds that even your enemies can teach you valuable lessons—about the world, and about yourself.

Walking the Line by SilentAuror (E, 179k)

Sixth year is over and Draco Malfoy is on the run. The war is on and an unwanted assignment is forced upon him by the only people he trusts - and a one-time arch-enemy just may be out to kill him.

Post-Hogwarts

Adagio in G Minor by furiosity (NC-17, 18k)

Seven years after Hogwarts and the war, life continues in the wizarding world. Draco Malfoy is rich, bored, and slightly jaded. Harry Potter is famous, busy, and somewhat disillusioned. They've not seen each other since school ended. What would happen if they were to cross paths again? What if it involved music?

Big Dick, Come Quick [PDF] by Calanthe (NC-17, 204k)

Draco’s got a theory. About sex. And after much searching for the right candidate, it appears that only Harry Potter, his life long enemy, can help him test it out.

Draco's Escort Service by Cheryl Dyson/dysonrules (15, 12k)

Draco's job is to escort travelers through the dangerous, war-torn countryside. Harry Potter is forced to hire him, but his destination isn't quite what Draco expected.

Left My Heart by Emma Grant (E, 85k)

Auror Draco Malfoy has disappeared, and Harry Potter has been sent to San Francisco to find him. 

Malfoy, P.I. by Nancy (R, 60k)

"I'm Draco Malfoy, private investigator. I've seen a lot--I mean a lot, and I'm like sweet seventeen a lot. I thought I'd seen it all, until a pair of green eyes stepped into my office." A noir AU set in L.A. where passion and magic collide. Slashy and sexy.

Queen of Hearts by scoradh (E, 65k)

A spectre is haunting Harry - the responsibility of his destiny. It looms over his future and, more importantly, over the future of his friends. Harry is determined to exorcise this spectre for the greater good, but on the way, he enters into a few unholy alliances.

Tissue of Silver by fearlessdiva (R, 76k)

A love story concerning possessed furniture, black silk pyjamas, courtroom drama, premonitions of doom, assassination attempts, Death Eater yoga, absinthe, bare feet and a sensible werewolf.

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by November Snowflake (M, 58k)

When the long-missing Draco Malfoy turns up at a Ministry field hospital with amnesia, bitter Auror Harry Potter must confront the shadows of their shared past to shed light on a potentially deadly mystery.

Transfigurations by Resonant (E, 71k)

Five years after Voldemort's defeat, Harry returns to England to help re-open Hogwarts.

[pichirobi]

fire, air, water, earth.

prince xie lian is one of the most promising up-and-coming avatars the world has yet to see. that is, until disaster strikes his home earth kingdom of xianle. when his people die out at the hands of a plague spirit, bai wuxiang, the nations blame the avatar. with his reputation destroyed, xie lian joins the air nomads for 20 years and travels the world as a scrap-collector. although he has lost the respect of the people he is destined to protect, the spirit world is thrown into chaos without his guidance. xie lian works thanklessly to maintain global balance all on his own. but unbeknownst to him, there's one person, upon the throne of the fire nation, who still believes in the avatar.

welcome to my tgcf x atla au!

click here to follow this tag for updates. read more below for my story notes.

STORY

xie lian is born to the king and queen of an earth kingdom city-state, xianle, and is quickly discovered to be the avatar. a wildly talented one, at that. he learns firebending second, and waterbending third. still young and pampered, xie lian struggles with the humility associated with airbending principles.

at just the age of 17 he begins to travel the world to master the four elements and [katara narrator voice] to restore peace and balance in the world. he acquires a servant (firebender mu qing) and a bodyguard (earthbender & childhood best friend feng xin). it's during this time that he tours the fire nation, meeting with political figures and impoverished citizens alike, gaining a positive reputation for his determination and skills. to celebrate the summer solstice, xie lian is the face of a festival in which he proves his elegance, combative strength, and firebending prowess. during the ceremony, he controversially interrupts it to save the life of a 10-year-old urchin boy.

the lines between the spirit and mortal worlds bleed together during solstices. it's xie lian's festival which attracts a particularly violent spirit to emerge into the mortal world: bai wuxiang. the white-clothed calamity.

xie lian's life is filled with promise until he turns 22. he catches word of a disaster taking place in his home kingdom. he puts a pause on his tour of the nations to return to xianle. there, he finds that a strange and highly contagious disease has begun plaguing his people. its symptoms are unnatural; the work of an angry spirit. xie lian works himself to the bone trying to save his common people. he fails.

when xianle falls to plague, to chaos, to fear, its people blame the avatar. he is dubbed the avatar of misfortune. a failure. xie lian's reputation crumbles to dust and he is helpless to restore his people's faith in him. when the rest of the world learns of how xianle came to ruin, the avatar becomes not a figure of peace to be revered, but a bad omen.

having lost his two companions, his parents, his kingdom, and the global adoration he's come to rely on for his self-worth, xie lian runs away. he disowns his past identity and seeks to start a new life. he finds himself in the northern air temples, where the air nomads pay him no mind, although xie lian is a bit of an oddball. (xie lian might look rougher and jaded but they certainly recognize the avatar. they pretend to not know him—the nomads keep to themselves and as long as xie lian doesn't cause trouble, he is welcome.) he eventually befriends a monk named shi qingxuan.

xie lian seeks enlightenment. he incorporates himself into the monks' way of life, releasing all ties to material possessions and worldly indulgences. he abstains from sex, alcohol, anger, and, hardest of all, grief. he goes on to live 20 years as a scrap collector, practicing what he was taught by his teacher and guide, monk wu yong. xie lian knows it's time to leave the temples when he finally masters airbending.

humbled, xie lian rekindles his fighting spirit. the common people loathe the avatar, but he forgives them. he will save them.

as xie lian wanders the nations, he learns that during his darkest years, literature, art, and scholarly works of the avatar have been destroyed. most people don't even remember what he looks like and much less have the means to learn anything about him. (hua cheng carving xl's face into the side of a mountain: HOLD MY BEER)

meanwhile, there is a fire nation urchin boy who has grown into someone powerful enough to be feared. through his unmatched wit and charisma, he has worked his way up the capital's political hierarchy. a city governor who calls himself hua cheng, is the first aristocrat to challenge the firelord to an agni kai. he is also the first to win. he delegitimizes the royal bloodline and single-handedly reshapes a generation's idea of a competent ruler. bonus points for the previous firelord being xie lian's indecent cousin, qi rong.

now 35 years old, the new firelord, terrifying yet respected by all, leads his people to prosperity and vanquishes every enemy. peculiarly, he seems somewhat uninterested in his position of power. instead, he enjoys turning his attention towards erecting a shrine, a palace, in honor of avatar xie lian.

HUALIAN'S BACKSTORY

the avatar preceding xie lian, jun wu, oversaw great conflicts between the four nations. it is during one of these wars that a seemingly insignificant teenager dies. his soul drifts aimlessly in the spirit world, vulnerable, alone. he encounters the trickster spirit koh who steals his face. time is hard to account for in this realm, and the once-a-teenager forgets his past life, his own identity, simply choosing to refer to himself as wu ming: nameless. many years later, the avatar cycle begins anew with the birth of xie lian.

at 7 years old, prince xie lian and his best friend feng xin are outdoors playing with swords. feng xin takes a break, as he is called inside by the king of xianle, leaving xie lian outside and unsupervised. (feng xin will shortly be told that xie lian is not only his friend, but now his responsibility.) meanwhile, xie lian is left without a sparring partner. until a ghostly silver butterfly flits in front of him. it playfully weaves around the flourishes of the blade. xie lian chases it, away from the palace grounds, across the fields and into the brush, where he falls head-first through a burrow. when he stands up, his sword has disappeared, but not the butterfly. it pulls his attention upward, where he takes in his surroundings: the spirit world.

xie lian continues to play and greet spirits, who are all pleased to meet the new avatar, eventually finding a sad, dissipating ghost fire. the ghost introduces itself as wu ming. xie lian works very hard to cheer it up, promising they'll be friends in this lifetime and the next. wu ming brightens and confesses that koh has stolen its face. xie lian fails to tolerate this news: if he's to be the avatar, he must protect the innocent and slay monsters. with wu ming's warnings, he marches to koh's den to demand his friend's face back.

xie lian succeeds. wu ming doesn't remember much these days, but he's sure that no one has ever showed him such incredible kindness. when wu ming expresses his desire to disappear, xie lian gives him a mantra: "live for me."

xie lian has to leave, to return to a very worried feng xin (who is scared he's already failed his new bodyguard job on day one), but wu ming is invigorated with life like never before. his soul persists, stubbornly, for the avatar. he is reborn back into the mortal world as a fire nation boy. although, the encounter with koh would leave a mark on his body: the sclera of his right eye would be an unsettling blood red. the people of his village would know him as hong hong-er.

elsewhere in the spirit world, the ghost of avatar jun wu senses young xie lian's presence. he also senses the persistence of the ghost fire—a soul reborn. could he, too, return to the mortal world? jun wu entertains a simple but horrifying thought: by swapping places with xie lian, could he achieve immortality as the world's last avatar? thus, jun wu hatches a plan. he strikes a deal with bai wuxiang, the white-clothed calamity, a malevolent plague spirit. bai wuxiang would possess the body of jun wu to eliminate the new avatar. to kill xie lian, and to be reborn.

the plan doesn't go—well, according to plan. the people of xianle are wiped out before he can get his hands on xie lian, and the destruction of a people leaves behind a universal distrust of the avatar. jun wu realizes he would be unable to seize power in such an environment. his new strategy must involve controlling young xie lian, manipulating him into a puppet. it takes a while to pin him down, but jun wu eventually finds him settled in the northern air temple, at his most emotionally vulnerable. jun wu will impersonate a monk teacher, changing his name to wu yong. he will bide his time and play his cards until the world is ready for his return.

EXTRAS

hualian are middle-aged men in this au because it makes sense timeline-wise, but also because sexy silver fox xie lian is what i see every time i close my eyes.

narratively, i'm torn between hua cheng loving the avatar, or hua cheng loving xie lian. thinking about this timeless lovestory, "you, not the state of you," i can see it both ways. hua cheng might love the avatar, xie lian and all of his reincarnations regardless of their body. or, he might love xie lian, regardless of the "avatar" title. ("avatar" may also be this world's equivalent to hua cheng respectfully calling xie lian "dianxia".)

firelord hua cheng presents himself at what he believes is his ugliest, most intimidating form: exposing his burned right eye. as san lang, however, he is at first ashamed to reveal such a vulnerable part of him in front of his love; he covers it with an eyepatch. (the people of the fire nation are like: "a platypus?" [san lang takes off his eyepatch] "PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!?!")

hua cheng teaches xie lian how to bend lightning. they easily trade bolts back and forth to each other in a cute and intimate way. feng xin and mu qing are horrified when they first see this in action.

hualian's first kiss happens when they're battling a sea monster underwater and xie lian loses his concentration enough to accidentally pop hua cheng's air bubble. a little mouth-to-mouth resuscitation will do the trick until they can float back up to the surface.

ruoye = xl's spiritual serpent guide (kind of like roku's dragon)

e'ming = hc's super clingy fire ferret

[elysianholly]

Why Spuffy

Decided to put this here so I can find it more easily. Originally answered on r/Fanfic: What is your OTP?

Why? There are a lot of assumptions made about Spike/Spuffy fans. Like, we're just whores for good cheekbones. We're blinded by Spike's abs. We're all just abuse victims waiting to fall in love with the wrong person. And honestly, after 2+ decades of this nonsense, it'd be nice to just say: "read this then get back to me."

So. What is your OTP?

Buffy/Spike from BtVS. They've owned my heart for more than 20 years and show no signs of slowing down.

At first, it was the enemies-to-lovers thing. I've always been a sucker for that. Especially for a villain who turns to mush for a hero in the falling process. That is still true, but my love for them has become more nuanced the older I've gotten. I just turned 39; I fell in love with Spuffy when I was 17. What I love most about them today is that their history as enemies means they know each other better than anyone, have seen each other's faults, have done the worst things they could do to each other, and have a very honest, non-rosy view of their relationship. Spike is also the only man in Buffy's life (on the show; I'm not counting comics) who owns the hurt he's caused without making it her fault or imposing his view of things and convincing her he's right. He shows her that loving her doesn't always mean sacrifice or suffering, the way it was with Angel or Riley, but that she can make someone want to be better. And he also knows her well enough to know she will assume the responsibility of the soul he sought for himself (the most effective and tortuous sentence for the demon who hurt her), so he first tries to hide it from her, then encourages her when she starts dating Robin Wood that she owes him nothing, that she doesn't need to consider his feelings. It's the first time someone she's been intimate with has not been petty or jealous at the thought of her moving on. And because he has seen the best and worst in her, when he says he loves her, it's with a view of the whole person Buffy is.

And for Buffy, loving Spike is about loving herself. He was her outlet for her depression, a representation of all the bad things she thought about herself when she was at her lowest, and she punished him for that. She was conditioned to believe her friends' acceptance of her had strings attached. By Season 7, after she has come to peace with the worst thing she went through, she is no longer apologizing for herself or making excuses. She is unapologetically in charge. Loving Spike means loving the parts of her she always thought were ugly or twisted or irredeemable, going all the way back to how she carried the burden of Angel having lost his soul when she was a 17-year-old girl in love and had no idea what was going to happen. Furthermore, how she was made to feel responsible (side-eyeing Xander here; Giles and Willow get a pass but Xander was the most egregious offender). She also assumed the responsibility for her relationship with Riley falling apart even after he negged, gaslit, and cheated on her. Spike showed Buffy that she is not the problem in relationships, and allowing herself to love him meant an acceptance of self she struggled to find throughout the course of the show. In the end, after bringing out the worst in each other when they were at their worst, they learned to bring out the best in each other. It's just beautiful.

And that's why Spuffy, friends.

[tcfactory]

Thinking about an AU where the manual did cause Binghe to qi-deviate and ruin his cultivation potential exactly one year after he's taken in as disciple. Seeing that anyone would have suffered the same fate, it wasn't some kind of karmic punishment directed at Shen Qingqiu for being an unpleasant, hateful little thing (the self-hatred and projection is Real in this one) settles something in him, like a broken peace of him is suddenly jolted back into its proper place. It makes him lose interest in torturing Binghe any further.

That does leave him with a disciple that's not suited to his peak in any way shape or form, so clearly the next step is to have one of the other peaks take him off his hands. He subtly puts out word while Binghe is on Qian Cao recovering, so that anyone who might want the brat can take him after the next peak lord meeting, but there really is only one choice.

Out of the peaks with a physical cultivation style, Bai Zhan is out of the question on account of Binghe's ruined potential, Ku Xing doesn't take children this young and, in his opinion, Binghe is just too stupid and trusting to make it on Qiong Ding or An Ding, so clearly that only leaves Zui Xian. If the little beast is fortunate, eating all the spiritual food might even help him recover a little.

Perfect plan!

All he needs is to make up a good enough excuse as to why he allowed the little beast to cultivate from a faulty manual or let him be bullied. And he knows already how he's going to do it: he will let Qi Qingqi make the excuse for him.

"Qi-shimei," he says, the very picture of nonchalance, as if Liu Qingge didn't have a sword at his neck. "I know you assume that any disciple of yours returning to secular life will do so at the side of a powerful husband, but if that was not the case: how would you test if someone of lowly birth and no connections could survive the court environment?" Qi Qingqi thinks about it for just a moment before her mouth twists into an unhappy pout, eyes lighting up with understanding. "Let him go, Liu-shidi. It was not an attempt at murder, merely Shen-shixiong being a crafty old dog who made a test too harsh for Luo-shizhi." "But-" "Scholars, like my girls, are intrinsically linked to the mortal courts, as much sages and exemplars in the four arts as advisors in politics. If one has no allies, then connections must be made. Bullies that can't be fought head on must be outwitted or circumvented." She gives the fake manual a disgusted glance. "Ill intent and sabotage must be recognized, regardless of its source. Without these qualities, someone without proper backing will be dead the week they set foot in court." "Quite. Disciple Luo has failed each and every one of those criteria: he bent obediently to the whims of his bullies, made no friends or sought no help from anyone on or off peak, and kept cultivating from the faulty manual with a bullheaded stubbornness that surprised even me. I fully expected him to realize at least as much, but he proved too simple even for that." He resists the urge to smile when Liu Qingge reluctantly withdraws his sword. It's a sweet, if easy victory.

So Luo Binghe goes to the food and wine peak, where he can make friends, his heart (and to a degree his cultivation) can be mended and his trust in his higher ups isn't scorned or abused, but he never forgets that Shen Qingqiu sent him away because he found him too stupid for his peak. Shen Qingqiu picked him, only him, from dozens of potential disciples and was disappointed. He keeps striving, even years later, to somehow get Shen Qingqiu's approval, taking every opportunity to loiter on Qing Jing with food offerings and all sorts of excuses. He's almost as bad as the sect leader! They do, indeed, bond with Yue Qingyuan over being the frequent targets of Shen Qingqiu's ire.

Then one day when Binghe is around 17 a qi deviation splits Shen Qingqiu into two: the scarred, sharp-tongued and vicious Shen Jiu and the sickly, soft hearted and kind Shen Yuan, and Luo Binghe suddenly feels vindicated in his dogged insistence because the soft Shen Qingqiu likes him! It's literally the best thing in the world!! And maybe sect leader Yue helps him a few times to steal Shen Yuan away on some absolutely-not-a-date picnics, so it's really only fair that he helps him reconcile with the sharper Shen Jiu (Binghe can't see the appeal, personally, but as long as Yue-shibo doesn't want to take his Shen Qingqiu too then he's fine with those two doing whatever).

Everything seems to be going perfectly (QiJiu have reconciled, BingQiu are almost inseparable), but then Binghe leaves the mountain to gather ingredients for the very special meal he wants to propose with, trips and stumbles straight into the Abyss and the rest is SVSSS-typical miscommunication and demon shenanigans.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hiii! Do you think Harry stopped growing at 17? If he was as tall as James in DH I would imagine he was taller than his father. I have three brothers and my family is full of male cousins and they all had growth spurts after 17. I could see him growing another couple of inches after the war. His mind and body is finally at peace after 16 years. I always hc him to be 6’0-6’2 at the age of 21.

As far as Harry being scrawny… aren’t most teenage boys? My brothers were into sports and didn’t get into the gym until they were done with high school. With the profession he’s in I would assume fitness would be a requirement for the role. Yeah, you have a wand but what if it breaks or you lose it? He has a huge target on his back having defeated the darkest wizard of all time, and I can’t imagine him not learning how to physically defend himself and his loved ones. I don’t see him a huge buff gym junky, but I do see him as someone who has a lean athletic figure and someone who concentrates more on leg day than arm day. I think going to the gym would be an escape for him and help him decompress. I know the hp world prefer a shorter skinny hero (probably because of Daniel Radcliffe) who looks like an underdog, however every underdog grows up and barely anyone has the same physique as their teenage self.

Honestly, all this differs a lot with genetics. Harry's growth spurts in the books reminds me of my younger brother. Like, my brother was like 5'2 at 15, then, in like, one month near his 16th birthday, he grew to 5'10 and when he was around 19 he grew again by two inches. So, Harry could definitely still grow taller, but we don't really have a way to know.

Like, men can still grow in height until their late 20s, and it's possible James didn't even finish his growth since he died at 21, so he might've grown even taller if he survived to 25. Like, that's possible. I just don't really have evidence for or against besides saying, yes, it's possible, but I wouldn't call it likely since it's highly individual and based on genes. Like, I know guys who stopped growing at 16 and have been stuck at the same height since then. I also know guys who are 25 and still grow taller. It's the magic of genetics.

Muscle mass, physique, and the ability to gain weight are also heavily dependent on genetics and age. Men in their teens and early 20s usually have a much higher metabolic rate, which keeps them lean regardless of how much they eat (again, genetics play a big role here and this isn't true for everyone). Physical activity like Quidditch, would make the already fast metabolism faster. This naturally fast metabolism, combined with certain genetic makeup, can leave you looking lean regardless of how much you go to the gym as well. Some men need to reach their mid-20s before they can actually start gaining the weight necessary to appear buff.

I think Harry would look less lean as he got older. Like, I can hardly imagine a Harry in his mid to late 30s being as lean as 16-year-old Harry. I think his physique will change as he grows, as happens to most people. But I agree with you I don't see him as a super buff gym dude at any point in his life. He's always on the leaner side in my head, but this is all in headcanon territory since it isn't covered by the books.

I would like to add that all the super short and scrawny descriptions of Harry come from the first 4 books when these descriptions are correct. In book 6 Harry is thin, but no one describes him as a scrawny boy with knobbly knees past book 4. Not even he himself. So I definitely see Harry of the final 3 books as more lean than scrawny.

And yeah, you're right about Radcliffe messing up everyone's mental image of Harry, both in looks and personality. It's one of the things that bother me most about the movies. And, everyone can headcanon whatever they want, but I personally don't like short Harry (when he's older, when he's 14, make him short). It's not his canon character and when writers write him short, it's sometimes accompanied by him being written as too passive and meek for my liking because Harry James Potter is not passive or meek. (Radcliffe Harry in the movies is much more passive, hence the skewed mental image I mentioned, but I digress).

Besides, while malnourishment and food intake could affect one's growth, people tend to overlook the 6 years of Hogwarts and Molly's food which would be a huge boost during his puberty years in which he's having most of his growth. Additionally, some people's food intake matters less to their physical development than others — again, I can't stress enough how specific genetic makeup is super important in all this discussion.

TL;DR

Harry might grow taller to be 6' or 6'2. We don't have any evidence for or against really, so it's up to your preference on what you want to headcanon. But it's definitely super possible. If Lily was taller than the average it would even be likley (but I couldn't find any notes on Lily's or Petunia's height). In the books, he is very lean, and it's a combination of a lot of different factors working together: his lifestyle, genetic makeup, and yes, being a teenage boy with the fast metabolism that comes with it. As Harry grows up, he'd probably want to stay fit, but to what degree is also in personal headcanon territory (I personally don't like him becoming an Auror, but that's my preferred headcanon. I still see him staying pretty fit out of paranoia, sort of. I mean, he spent all his teenage years with a Damocles sword over his head. He literally died. I think he's allowed to be a little hypervigilant after that. I mean, he already is, but you get the point).

[acewritesfics]

FIREFLIES | Tommy Shelby

⚠️ THIS IS A REPOST FROM MY MAIN BLOG @/DLMLUFICS. UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO DO IT THIS WAY. MORE INFO IN MY PINNED POST.

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: No but I was encouraged by @runnning-outof-time to write this. This is a extended version of my Fireflies mood board.

Fic Type: Imagine

Warnings: Death. Grief. Swearing. Murder.

Word Count: 1,922

TOMMY SHELBY MASTERLIST || TAG LIST SIGN-UP

"You're late," Y/N says as she senses Tommy walking towards her.   

"Late for what?" he asks as he reaches her.   

"To see the fireflies," she says turning her head to look at him. "But I guess there will be other nights that we'll get to see them. They aren't going anywhere, and neither am I."   

"I wish I could take you anywhere that you wanted," he tells her.   

"But I like being here," she smiles softly, turning her body to stand in front of him. "It's peaceful and the view is beautiful and even more so when you're here with me."   

"I'm sure it gets lonely," he sighs sadly, hating that his first love will always be tethered to this spot.   

"Maybe for a second but then the fireflies come out and I'm reminded of you," she tells him. "You were always my light in the darkness."   

"I was never the light, sweetheart," he says cupping her face in his hands. "You were always the light."  

"If you think that because of the man you've become, then think again, Thomas Shelby," she says placing her hands over his. She turns her head, kissing one of his palms before resting her head on it. "I knew you before the war and before you had blood on your hands. You were the only good thing in my life. And I know that man is still inside you."  

"He died with you," he tells her. "That man doesn't exist anymore."  

"Yes, he does," she smiles. "He'll be back, once you learn that despite everything that's happened, you're allowed to be happy and live the life you wanted back then."  

"I'll be living it without you," he sighs.  

"One day, you're going to meet someone and all I'll be is a distant memory," her voice is soft, but her words were loud in his ears.  

"Do you remember when we met?" Tommy asks, changing the direction of their conversation. Their surroundings blurred out and was replaced with the night they met.  

Tommy could see his 17-year-old self, sitting on a log in front of a campfire. Arthur Shelby Snr and a few of his buddies decided to take their families camping one weekend. It was there that Tommy met Y/N, daughter of one of his father's associates.   

The 16-year-old version of Y/N was dancing as a group of teenagers to the left were making music with the few instruments they owned. A very young Ada had taken her hands as she skipped and leaped and danced around the fire. The sky was pitch black; the moon bright in the sky but in the moon light and the glow from the fire, to Tommy, it made her look like an angel. Tommy had fallen in love for the very first time that night.  

Him and Y/N watched as the younger versions of themselves came together. 16-year-old Y/N had let go of Ada's hands telling her she needed a rest and that she'd be back shortly. She'd left the campfire and walked past the campers. 17-year-old Tommy whispered something to Arthur before following her.  

Tommy and Y/N follow them down to the creek that ran through the campground.   

"You're a good dancer," they listen to the younger Tommy tell her, causing her to jump slightly. He quickly apologises. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."  

"Apology accepted," she smiles, lifting her skirts up to her knees and dips her toes into the cold water. "And I wouldn't call myself a good dancer. The rhythm of the music does all the work, I just follow it."  

"It wasn't the music that had me captivated," he admits.  

"I'm sure it wasn't my dancing either," she chuckles, stepping into the cold water and kicks it around until it starts to feel warm.  

“I’m Thomas Shelby, but you can call me Tommy,” he introduces himself.  

“Y/N L/N,” she tells him her name. “It’s nice to meet you, Tommy.”  

From that moment the two of them were inseparable. You couldn’t find one without the other. They were both the happiest they’ve ever been. Everyone could see and feel the love the two held for each other. They were the king and queen of their own world, and they treated each other as such. Tommy gave her everything that he could with promises that one day, they’d be so rich that money wouldn’t be an issue and he could give her the grandest of all things. She would assure him that, even though those things would be nice, that all she needed was him.   

The scene in front of Tommy and Y/N is blurred out again and replaced with the original scene but this one was slightly different.   

It was the night he realized he wanted to marry her.   

On the anniversary of the day they met, they would come out to the field their families camped at and spent the night under the stars.   

Their first anniversary, Y/N, now 17, arrived at their spot earlier than Tommy. She starts the fire and sets up the picnic she had packed. As she sat waiting for Tommy, she thought about the trouble she would be in for sneaking out this late to meet the boy she’s been with for a year. It was worth it, being with Tommy.   

17-year-old Y/N’s been there a few minutes when the tree in front of her starts lighting up. There must be close to 50 of the little lightning bugs scattered along the tree. She’d read about fireflies and was always curious about them, but she wasn’t sure if she’d ever see them like this. The scene in front of her brings a certain warmth to her and her mind goes to Tommy.  

“I’m sorry, I’m late,” she faintly hears Tommy say as he approaches her. Y/N’s too focused on the bugs to reply.   

It isn’t until Tommy’s arms wrap around her that he finally gets her attention. That night she had fallen pregnant.  

The scene changes a little, everything looks the same, except the two of them are a little older, Tommy being 20 and Y/N being 19. Their relationship was going well, and their daughter was happy and healthy, but their family lives had taken a turn for the worse.   

Tommy’s mother had fallen ill not long after having Finn. After she died his father, Arthur Sr, had taken off, leaving Tommy and Arthur Jr to raise their younger siblings with their Aunt Polly’s help and deal with the debts his father owed. Not only that but they had the illegal betting den that needed a major up heave after the state their father left it in.   

Y/N’s father had become more paranoid, believing everyone was playing a part in some ploy to ruin his life. Her mother, who had enough of her husband’s behaviour had left, only leaving a note to explain her departure. She never bothered to tell Y/N about it either, only finding out when her father stormed into the store she worked at, yelling and shouting about how she was a part of her mother’s plan to leave. Once she managed to convince him that she had no part in it, her father seemed to calm down for a while.  

This was when Tommy new he couldn’t wait any longer to marry her. He wanted nothing more than to call her his wife. In the last year they had been coming more to their spot, needing to get away from everything for a moment. His proposal hadn’t been planned. They’d been sitting on a log, watching the fireflies fly around the tree, creating trails of light behind them. He turned to her, looking at her with so much love and said, “I think it’s time we get married.”  

She looked back at him, a soft smile on her lips. With all that love he was looking at her with reflected in her eyes, she says, “I also think it’s time.”   

As if Tommy knew where his mind was going with this, the scene changed. It once again was the same scene set at a different time. Tommy was late to meeting her at their spot. It was something he regretted to this day. Because instead of finding her sitting there waiting, with her smile that was only reserved for him, he found her by the creek, her closed soaked with water, her skin a ghostly shade and cold to the touch, her lungs filled with water instead of air and yet she looked so peaceful.   

Tommy still feels the pain as he broke down as if it were only yesterday. He doesn’t recall how long he stayed with her out there before bringing her to the hospital. He soon found out she’d been out to their spot hours earlier than they were supposed to meet. Her and her father had a massive fight and she needed to get away. Their spot was always a place she could spent hours at, reading, drawing, and just being with herself, clearing her head.   

Unfortunately, this time, her father had followed her out to the creek. Things got physical and he overpowered and drowned her in the creek. Instead of taking her to the hospital, he left her there for Tommy to find in some sick twist of paranoia, blaming him for taking his daughter away from him.  

Police ruled her drowning accidental despite all the evidence pointing to it not being that. It would be almost ten years later when justice would finally be served by Tommy’s own hand, what he had been through during the war, adding to the feeling of nothing as he put a bullet through Y/N’s father’s head.   

The scene shifts once more but this time they’re back to the first scene, her body is no longer laying on the creek bed.   

“Can you do me a favour?” Y/N asks him, breaking the somber silence that had fallen between them  

He nods and she stands on her tip toes to whisper something in his ear, before she shoves him into the cold water.  

Tommy wakes up from the dream with a jolt. He’s had the same dream almost every night since her death but this time the ending had changed. She had asked something of him, and he promised to fulfil it.  

Later that night, Tommy made his way to the field where their spot is. He could never bring himself to come back out here after she died. This is his first time back but this time he wasn’t alone. Sitting beside him on the log, is his 13-year-old daughter, Sophie.   

He pulls out the photographs that he has of Y/N. “See this place Sophie, this place is a very special place to me and your mother. Not only did we meet here, we also had many special moments here.” He starts handing her the photos, she’s seen many times of Y/N. Sophie had only been 2 when her mother was killed. That day, Sophie had been with Polly. “Your mother loved this spot, especially at night,” he continues as the tree begins to light up. “This is the reason why.”   

“The fireflies?” she asks, seemingly just intrigued by them as her mother was. 

In the faint glow of the fireflies and the moon above, he can see Y/N, smiling that smile reserved only for her little family. She blows them a kiss before she turns around and disappears into the darkness. 

“The fireflies,” He confirms, smiling down at his daughter. 

TAGGED: @chapter-in-my-old-diary - @hanawrites404 - @goblinjnr - @halsteadbrasil - @alexxavicry - @rainydayteacups

BOLD means your profile didn't come up when I tried to tag you. Sometimes it links when the post is posted but I don't know if you still get the notifications. Let me know if you get the notification. Here is a post that could help: WHY OTHERS CAN'T TAG YOUR BLOG

[sebbyisland]

my hakuhiro thesis.

Hakuri x Chihiro is hilarious because neither of them have any idea of what romance looks like. Both grew up isolated from society and their peers. I don't think either of them would actually develop DEEP romantic feelings until they are older. There would probably be some romantic/sexual tension in fleeting moments.

Hakuri maybe has movies as a reference for romance but idk if Chihiro did anything like that with his dad in the middle of the woods, and if he did it’s probably old samurai films like Seven Samurai. Chihiro had a childhood crush on actor Toshiro Mifune (understandable) and his dad knew but decided to let him figure it out on his own. He didn’t figure it out. Chihiro doesn't know homosexuality exists until age ~17.

During the years hunting for any news on the enchanted blade with Shiba, Shiba realizes Chihiro never reacts to the female models on billboards and magazines so he’s internally like (🏳️‍🌈?) and tries to be supportive by mentioning his queer friends but Chihiro is just like. Okay. Cool. Shiba lets it go; it doesn't really matter anyways.

Meanwhile in the current story timeline, Hakuri JUST figured out he’s not doomed to die alone and unloved. Sex and romance are not even on his radar. Hakuri COULD be more self aware except he still puts Chihiro on a pedestal as his “samurai” even though they are supposed to be equal allies. When Hakuri gets a little bit more self esteem he realizes he’s a hopeless romantic but still lacks the self awareness to consider his actual feelings and Chihiro is just objectively hot, actualy. They are blood brothers for years.

They would 100% sleep on the same bed as bros without question. I’m pretty sure everyone in their little squad would just pile on the same bed and sleep. But these two, specifically, are immune to so many romance tropes it’s stupid.

After some time Shiba once again goes "🏳️‍🌈?" but feels like he’s hallucinating everything because everyone else is like Chihiro? With a crush? Sounds fake but okay. But Shiba KNOWS Chihiro puts extra butter on Hakuri’s eggs. He SEES that Chihiro INITIATES fist bumps with Hakuri. They had a one arm hug that one time. Everyone else thinks those are pretty normal things to do, but Shiba is fucking dying. He’s too old to care about teenage drama. He’s 40 stuck with people ages 7 to 22ish. The young love, it's disgusting.

Hakuri-with-more-self-esteem says shit like "once we make a safer world, I can finally get a girlfriend in peace :) Chihiro will be my best man at our wedding and Char will be the flower girl :)” Shiba wants to STRANGLE him for this but Chihiro is just like “yeah I hope you find happiness (sincere), you deserve it”

Shiba's nephew is in love with a straight boy. He wants to cry. Hasn’t Chihiro suffered enough?!?! Maybe Chihiro will get over it maybe it’ll be fine. The reality is that Chihiro is so unbothered. He trusts Hakuri with his life and simply doesn't think further into that. He gets weird looks from Shiba sometimes and ignores them.

Flash forward to post-canon or near the final arc Hakiru is ACTUALLY flirting with Chihiro but he’s really bad at it. It's shojo manga embarrassing and he's 20 years old. NOW THE REST OF THE CREW REALIZES WHAT’S HAPPENING.

Chihiro at this point is a Black Box. His experience with men making passionate declarations of interest towards him are men trying to kill him and/or projecting their feelings about his dead dad on him. The deeper reason Hakiru's advances fly over is head is that Chihiro is most receptive to a quiet kind of love. He’s not one for grand gestures. He wants banter, he wants to wash each other's backs, he wants to go to sleep without feeling burdened by grief and guilt. He wants to be a swordsmith, not a samurai. He wants to build a home and a family.

Chihiro knows he is taken care of. He recognizes the kindness and love people show him and he gives it back. One day, it clicks for him that his relationship with Hakiru is drifferent from the rest of his friends/family. He asks him out. Obviously Hakiru says yes.

Hakiru thinks the flirting successfully communicated his feelings but Chihiro is nice enough not to correct him. It doesn't matter. They take things steady and roll with the punches and move in together and unofficially adopt char and get pet goldfish and fuck nasty and live HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

[brae-brae]

RODRICK HEFFLEY X READER (fluff)

"He did that shit to me too..."

So TW to people. this contains mentions of SA, SH, and underage drinking.

Sorry if this is shit. I don't really post on Tumblr and I don't really know how to do this, so I'm just gonna put this on here- ALSO HEATHER IS NICE IN THIS ONE!!!!! (kind of)

“A party? Oh, I don’t know…” I twirled my hair, something my mom said I do when nervous or deep in thought. Lily, my best friend, sighed on the other end. “Oh, come on! You haven’t been to a party in forever!” I gripped my hair at the thought of the last party I went to. “Yeah, you know why..” silence. After what felt like forever, she finally spoke. “Listen, I know last time wasn’t the best party experience ever..” I rolled my eyes. “Yea, being… well you know isn’t the best scenario… for anyone. Anywhere...” she breathed out. I rolled on my back looking at the ceiling. “Listen, you don’t have to go. I just thought you would want to get out of the house. You’ve been in there all summer!” I looked to my side, noticing my alarm clock. 9:17

After a little bit of debating, I finally responded. “Be at your place in 15.” her squeal was heard over the phone. “OKAY! LOVE YOU! I laughed at the response. “Love you too.”

______________________________________

I guess that’s how I got here. A house full of sweaty teens, completely intoxicated, dancing, whether on each other or with friends. Lily ran up to her boyfriend Ben, kissing him on the cheek, and engulfing him in a big hug. “Hey, Y/N, how have you been?” I shrugged my shoulders. “You know,” I put a finger gun in my mouth, before going back to my nonchalant self, “the usual.” he chuckled and put an arm around Lily. 

Lily looked behind me before looking back at me, smiling evilly. “Oh, heyyyyyyy Rodrick.” I quickly threw my head around to see Rodrick Heffley coming towards us with drinks in his hand. Handing me one smiling, before turning his attention to the other two. “Hey?” he said confused. I quickly drank the cup, hoping it was beer. I needed to calm my nerves. Thank god. Beer. 

We walked into the living room sitting on the couch. “So, it’s been a while,” Rodrick said smiling. I could feel my face heat up at his words. Looking down at my cup, I let out a nervous laugh. “Hehe, yea. Just been kinda cooped up lately. You know, listening to music and reading, boring shit.” I took a large drink from my cup, earning a laugh from him. “Yea, so how have you been?” he said putting his foot on his knee, putting an arm on the back of the couch. “Oh same old, same old. How about you? Heard y’all have been working on a new song?” he immediately perked up, his whole demeanor changing. 

He loved it when someone asked about his band or music. “Oh well actually-” he yamered on about his music and the song names they came up with so far. A lot of people find it annoying but I loved hearing him talk. Whether it’s about legos, the newest hyper fixation he was having, or whatever his mind could come across. I loved it. His voice brought me a sense of calm, which is surprising because he’s just as fast-talking as I am. I guess because I’ve known him for years, I kind of just got used to it, finding peace in it too. 

 After a long talk and about 4 cups later, I hopped off the couch, suddenly stumbling back. “I am,” I paused turning around to look at a giggling Lily, “Going to the kitchen.” I smiled and walked off, Lily saying something about me being fucked up. As I made my way to the kitchen, I bumped into someone. “Well, hello..” the dude smiled at me, “I’m Justin, and you are?” I smiled and got the last few drops out of my cup. “Y/N, I was just headed to the kitchen, care to join me?” I said with a smile. Eventually, we started to talk as we made our way to the kitchen. As he spoke, I couldn’t help but get bored by his presence. It was giving... toxic masculinity. I turned around to grab a pop, only to see Rodrick, in the dining room talking to Ben. 

I couldn’t help myself but stare.

The way he holds his cup, the way he moves his hands when he talks, the way he smiles, oh his smile. God, it was contagious. His smile followed by his laugh makes my face feel like a thousand suns, kinda makes my butt and outer thighs tingle, too. I caught myself looking at him for longer than I should have but I didn’t care. Justin’s voice slowly faded into the loud music. All my thoughts wandered to him. What was he laughing about? Did he like my outfit today? I wonder what he’s thinking about? Should I go talk to him?

“Hello? Earth to Y/N?” I saw Justin’s hand waving in front of my face. My head whipped around to look at him. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?” his arm dropped to his side, and the shit-eating grin that was on his face before was gone. Probably left a while ago. “I was just saying that this party is really fun and all, but would you wanna go somewhere… more private?” his hand came up to my arm and started to rub it. I looked down, honestly kinda uncomfortable. I looked up, trying to give him the best smile I could without seeming shocked. 

“Um, I  think I’d rather stay here..” I said pulling away from him. He quickly grabbed my shoulder when I tried to walk away, putting his hands on either side of me, blocking me from leaving. “What? Really? I sat here for 15 minutes talking while you just stared at who knows what. You could at least give me something in return.” his voice was dark and stern. It made my stomach churn in fear. He grabbed my hip, forcing me closer to him. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as his face got closer to mine. I could feel the color drain from my face. 

Shit.

No no no, I can’t move. Please god. I promised. I promised wouldn’t get into this situation again. Please god someone- “Hey! Y/N, right?” we both turned at the sound of a girl’s voice. Through my blurry vision, I could make out a blond girl wearing a pink tank top and low-rise jeans. She was really pretty. I nodded, finally. “Hey, so I need your help in the bathroom,” she looked at Justin, “Girl problems.” she smiled sweetly at him. She grabbed my hand leading me through the living room. Before we went behind the wall, I caught a glimpse of confused Rodrick.

 We made it upstairs to the bathroom, and when she closed the door, I immediately started to throw up. I didn’t know if it was the drinking or the fact I was scared shitless. She sat there rubbing my back, holding my hair. “Are you okay? God, I’m so sorry..” I looked up at her, smiling weakly. “God you’re pretty..” she giggled and sat on the bathtub. “Thank you, I get that a lot,” she said flicking her hair back. “I’m Heather by the way, Heather Hills,” she paused, sitting on the floor with me,

“Listen, I saw what Justin was doing, and I couldn’t just stand there and watch that asshole just feel you up, you know?” I nodded. I was shanking, no, trembling.

Then, I just started balling. Crying hunched over the toilet. thankful for the blaring music downstairs. “Hey, it’s okay. I know. He did that shit to me too. Normally, I would just laugh at a guy’s pathetic excuse to flirt with a hot girl and joke about it with my friends,” she laughed to herself, almost as if she were remembering her doing that. Then she stopped, looking at me in the eyes. “But I knew what he was planning, no fuck that, scheming. He did..” she looked at the door for a minute then continued after clearing her throat, “He did that to me, too. Back in freshmen year.” she looked at her hands in her lap, almost dazed. 

I sat up from the toilet and looked at her. I tried to find the right words, the best ones, to express myself without seeming like too much. But all I could say was, “Thank you.” she smiled at me, helping me up off the bathroom floor. We walked out of the bathroom, and I followed her back downstairs. As I turned off the last step, I bumped into someone. “Oh my shit, sorry..” I looked up at the idiot who had bumped into me, only to be met with dark brown eyes. My mouth instantly ran dry, however, that was the only dry thing on me… 

Just as he was about to speak, Heather interrupted. “Jesus Hefley, watch where you’re going..” she pulled me along with her to her friends. The rest of the night was kind of a blur. All I remember was dancing, laughing, and thinking about Rodrick. 

The next day, I woke up in my room, my head pounding. I look at my floor to see… 

“RODRICK??” he jumped up at the sound of my terrified voice. He kneeled on my bed. Grabbing my hands. “Hey, hey, you okay?” his eyes laced with concern. I shook my head and instantly regretted it. “Here, drink some water.” he handed me a water bottle, and I instantly began to chug it. Setting the empty bottle down on my nightstand, only for it to drop. 

Then it hit me. Like a fucking truck. “Um… this isn’t my room..” he let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. “No, it is not. its mine." he paused, "What do you remember from last night?” he asked while sitting on, what I now know is, his bed. I thought, trying to remember. “Not really anything… wait, did we-” his hands shot up, shaking crazily. “NO NO NO! I wouldn’t ever think about that shit with you that fucked up!” I let out a relieved breath. “Okay. I just wanted to make sure.” he nodded. His eyes suddenly became very worried. “So last night, you were wasted, like I said before and so you threw up all over your shirt..” I looked down.

I wasn’t in my clothes… I was in a graphic teeshirt and some sweatpants, suddenly I realised.

___________________________

GETTING READY FOR THE PARTY

I walked over to my closet, going through my abundance of clothes. I grabbed my My Chemical Romance shirt and black leggings. As I started to get undressed, my arm stung as I pulled off my clothes. I looked down at my arm and saw the fresh marks I had left the previous night. I looked down at my shirt and thought to myself. “Shit, hmm.” I quickly switched out my shirt for a plain green hoodie. I looked at myself in the mirror and put on the best smile I could. “Well, ready as I’ll ever be…” I grabbed my bag and headed out of my room.

_______________________________

“How long?” my eyes shot up to meet his. i looked away. trying to find anything else to focus on. I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them, taking a deep and shaky breath. When I finally looked at him again, I felt the tears prick in my eyes. “Since Jason Dean’s party…” I mumbled, choking slightly, "about 8 months ago."

I couldn’t stop them. The tears just kept coming. Rodrick just sat there, staring at the wall. After what felt like years, he finally spoke. “Can I hug you?” I didn’t respond. I just wrapped my arms around him burring my face in his shirt. He wasted no time in putting his arms around me, but he didn’t squeeze too tight, almost afraid to hurt me.

Eventually, I pulled away, looking at his snot-covered shirt. “Oh, sorry. Kinda just got my nose jizz on your shirt,” I said with a strained laugh. He looked down laughing. “Nose jizz? Dude-” We both burst out laughing. My eyes still have some tears falling. The one thing about our friendship is no matter how serious, jokes will always be okay. Just lightens the mood.

After we both calmed down, he held my hand, causing my face to burn. “Okay, but seriously,” he cleared his throat, trying to suppress his laugh, “does anyone else know?” he said, trying to continue the conversation. I shook my head. “Not even Lily?” I looked up at him, shaking my head again. He looked down, trying to find his next words. “Was it because of the incident?” my hands became clammy, and I felt like puking. “Yeah...” I said meekly. He let out a sigh. “Listen, I want to help you. In any way I can. Okay? I care so much about you and I don’t want you doing this to yourself. I want you to talk to me, that’s what I’m here for…” he held my face with his other hand making me look at him. I nodded. 

“Who changed me?” his face burned. “Well technically you did, but okay so-” he thought for a second, “so after most of the people left, Lily said that you should stay here, so I brought you upstairs and you puked all over yourself. So I went to grab some of my clothes and handed them to you, and you kinda just started like, stripping? Hehe..” my face burned, “I went downstairs and when I came back up a few minutes later, you were passed out in my bed. Then when I saw, um those..” he tried to make eye contact with me but failed miserably. 

I was still blushing at the fact that he saw me getting undressed. I mean he’s seen me in a bra before, but now I have boobs and stuff, so that made it a little more awkward. Then the question that I was wondering came out of my mouth before I could think. “Why did you sleep on the floor?” his eyes finally met mine. “Oh, uh I didn’t think you would be comfortable with me sleeping next to you, plus you already freaked out when I was on the floor so…” he said rubbing the back of his neck. I again spoke without thinking, “I wouldn’t have minded.” instantly regretted what I said, slapping a hand over my mouth. “Really?” his eyes lit up, slightly squeezing my hand tighter. I looked away from him, hoping he wouldn’t see my red face. 

God this boy has me whipped. 

“I mean, my back hurts from sleeping on the floor, would it be okay if I laid down here?” he asked hesitantly. I rolled my eyes grinning. “It’s your bed, you can do whatever you want.” he chuckled and laid down.

I gently laid down facing him, hands resting under my face. I quickly looked at his lips and back at his eyes. We sat there in silence, just looking at each other. Wait is he leaning in, wait! Am I leaning in? Just as I thought he was about to kiss me, he paused, “Y/N?” I looked up at him through my eyelashes. “Can I kiss you?” I smiled and nodded. “Use your words..,” he smirked. 

“Yes..”

WE LOVE CONSENT!! CONSENT IS SEXYYYYYY UHHHHHH

[mixu]

Hi, hope you are doing well. )

I am curious to know your impressions, anecdotes, experience of being a veteran SNS shipper. How was your experience with Naruto fandom? Has it changed? It would be great if you could talk about it.

Hi! I hope you’re doing well too. I barely receive any asks, so I’m excited.

Ah, my experiences and anecdotes being in the fandom, especially as a SNS shipper (does it count as shipping if they’re canon?) … It’s more than half of my life (I feel like I’m talking to my grandchildren) so this could get long.

I’ve been part of the fandom for 17 years, but it’s just recently that I’ve gotten to interact more with other fans both pro and anti sns. This mainly for three reasons:

Time period

When I entered the fandom internet and social media weren’t what they are today (that’s how old I am). I barely had access to internet for school and quickly read the new manga chapter before having to disconnect.

Location

Younger people don’t realize this but the globalization of manga and anime are quite recent. Now you can find merchandise even at the supermarket and a great catalogue of series is at your disposal with minimal effort. And being an “otaku” in the 2000’s was begging to be bullied at least in my country, so I preferred to keep my interests to myself.

My personality

I’m not the most social of people.

Thus, in the beginning, the fandom was nonexistent to me. It was just me, what Kishi wrote and my thoughts.

Little by little I got to interact with other people who were mainly shônen fans, and never read outside of that demographic, so there was no chance they would recognize a “non-pure shônen” even if it hit them in the face. There was not much to discuss aside from who would beat who, and I wouldn’t have been able to articulate it back then anyway, but my guts knew there was something different about Naruto. More than met the eye.

I next met a different part of the fandom in the form of fanart and fanfiction, but at that time it never crossed my mind that people would cling to those non-canon portrayals with their life. I would say most of these fans are avid consumers from other demographics that got attracted because something (the romance or the potential gayness) caught their eye, but are only interested in how to bend the characters to fit their vision. I know fanfiction and fanart are supposed to be self-indulgent, I enjoy it and write it even, but I’ve mostly managed to separate from the real thing. Not many discussions about the story as a whole (please keep in mind we were all teenagers back then).

So, none of those previous fan groups seemed to understand what I couldn’t put into words, and for the longest time, because my understanding of Naruto and Sasuke’s story was mostly instinctual, I had to go along with it. I let myself be gaslighted into believing my thoughts were just a byproduct of my fujoshi tendencies (I guess it could be right to call me fujoshi, but never due to Naruto).

After a quite long break, not just from Naruto but from manga and anime in general, I came into contact with the more educated part of the fandom in tumblr, and I finally got to put into words what was behind Naruto and Sasuke’s dynamic thanks to all of the great analysis that I found. I got vindicated and felt like I could finally live in peace but it was short lived.

When I met all the crazy antis, oh boy, I understood why ignorance is bliss.

That being said, there are indeed a bunch of obstacles between the fandom and understanding the true significance of Naruto’s story. However, not all of them are due to lack of knowledge when it comes to narrative devices and storytelling tools. I’m far from proficient in that topic and I can confidently say I got it.

Discarding those who will perpetually live in denial due to bigotry, homophobia, lack of an open mind, cultural differences, etc, and after much pondering elicited by this post of yours, I’ve come to the conclusion that the shônen label holds way more power than I originally thought. Or better say, all that shônen represents functions as the most effective reality filter.

Because Naruto was labeled as shônen:

The dudebros who only care about the power escalation won’t understand even if they are not homophobic because they came for the blattles and cool powers, nothing else matters.

The lost shôjo readers who force nh and ss into focus and think they can bend the “romance” to cater to their taste because a shonen writer would drop the ball with something as delicate. “Let Kishimoto draw his battles, we will fix the deficient love story because we know how true romance it’s supposed to look like. We wouldn’t be interfering with the hero’s story, anyway.”

All the while ignoring they are dragging a bunch of toxic tropes with them. They don’t see their pairings as failures because shôjo also has its good share of toxicity and abuse.

The fujoshi and fundashi who despite coming after the gayness, still miss the point because they do not care about the story so long as two hot men are kissing or fucking or whatever. They don’t actually believe in sns because most of their pairings are ships for fun, anything can be shipped, (pencil-senpai and sharpener-kun) so they see Naruto as a love story only under their terms but never in canon.

Then we have people that read a wider range but fail to look at the story as anything else than one written for male teenagers. Got shôjo for romance seinen and josei for more maturity, so shônen is meant for an easy quick snack.

Some of my friends, that I consider very intelligent people, way more versed in storytelling and narrative and whatnot than me, who are definitely not bigots or homophobic, still miss the point because they weren’t looking for it. They realized only after I pointed it out (I even made a ppt presentation, but that’s another story).

As for the people who understand from the beginning:

There’s of course those with the knowledge to dissect the story, and who can consciously ignore the restrictions of the labels.

Yet another group (I consider myself part of this one) that manage to bypass the rules only guided by instinct, but kept second-guessing themselves until they met someone from the previous group.

Then there’s my mother, bless her, who watches anime and loves her romances, but knows shit about manga demographics and wonders how the fuck Naruto and Sasuke gave birth to Boruto because in her eyes that little piece of shit has to be their son.

So once again, it all comes back to Kishimoto and his decision sell his soul to Jump. Was it all for fame or money? Was he too hopeful and naïve? Was it all a cruel prank?

What happened to mangakas like Tezuka? That man knew no limits.

That’s it for my thoughts on and interactions with the fandom. I think I leave my evolution as a sns stan for later if you’re interested in it.

[chiangyorange]

Do you ever think about how aoc is an alternate timeline where link doesn’t pull the sword at around 12/13 years old like in botw

And instead pulls it after becoming Zelda’s knight, so she couldn’t easily project some idea of the hero onto him, or at least couldn’t properly hate him, bc she got to know link a little beforehand

Of how, while he still doesn’t talk, he seems to be more openly expressive and more free with some of his emotions, rather than having to coaxed into letting his guard down like pre-calamity botw link. (Or at least, it seems that way to me)

And that he’s shown to be friends with the other soldiers/guards, rather than isolated like pre-calamity botw link

This isn’t to say aoc link doesn’t have his own suffering, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. Just that it can be an interesting portrayal of how unhealthy coping mechanisms can be exacerbated by not having easy access to genuine human connection.

(Being told a key part of the plan to prevent the apocalypse depends on his ability in combat and to fulfill the role of legendary hero, at the age of 12, also probably played a role but y’know.)

What’s your take on the matter?

i do. i do think about this a lot.

the discrepancy of when link pulls the master sword within the breath/tears era can and will fuck me up bc that implies that in one universe it HAD to happen that way and in the other one it didnt have to.

and even then link will always be set on that path because in memory 11, he was following his dad's footsteps in becoming a knight, so we can assume that's just what aoc has been doin. there is a lot of potential in the tragedy of having that question of "well what if x happened? what we could have stopped x?" in a tangible sense.

for aoc link, if he knew that his botw counterpart pulled the sword at 12-13, how would he feel about it? would he be horrified that a much younger version of himself pulled the sword? would he grieve for that little kid who got robbed of a peaceful childhood?

and then on pre-botw's side, would he be a little envious that aoc was able hold off being the Hero just for a few more years? the pressure of being the one who wields the master sword literally stole some if not all of his voice away. or would be a little worried that that timeline went on a little longer not having that hope, putting even MORE pressure on zelda?

but whoever that person pre-calamity was died at fort hateno.whether you believe the theory that the link we play in botw has the heroes spirit or not, i dont think it matters much because i dont think its that dissimilar to the death of the person you were now vs the person you were 5 years ago.

that was you. its still you. but you grew, and you forgot, and you lived and grieved and if you said some things to the you back then, they wouldn't get it all that much

its a grief of self, and a grief of identity, and it fucks me up if i think about it too hard.

(god. theres fucking more under here. its an au. sorgy.)

any fucking way. after the events of aoc, link gets like. dream visions meeting his pre-botw counterpart, first at 12-13 when he pulls the master sword, 15 when hes put under his knighthood and uncomfortably quiet about his experience because of the pressure and again AGAIN at 16-17 right at the thick of the calamity.

its awful, no one is having a good time in this.

and then,

he gets another visit when post 100 year link pulls the mastersword from korok forest. the first meeting probably goes fucking awful because botw? filled with complicated emotions that is difficult to parse through.

and then maybe a few more snapshots aoc can see of botw's journey till he defeats calamity ganon. and then maybe once again during the events of totk when he pulls the master sword from the light dragon.

its very much still a rough draft of an au but god. GOD. the scenes in my brain are buzzing.

[strangersteddierthings]

Plot Idea I'll never fully flush out or write but gotta get out of my head or it'll never let me know peace again. It's basically Steve sent from the future going all John Wick. if YOU want to take this plot and write it, or if it inspires you to write something, tag me in it. I'd love to read it.

A 26-year-old Steve Harrington gets sent back to the morning of November 6, 1983. IDK if it's like El using her powers to punch a hole in time or like, some other way but everyone still alive has given him something to use as proof of his time-travel and get their younger versions to believe him, because he's got a time limit. No idea how long, but once he's altered history enough that the timeline he left ceases to exist, so will he.

No one he cares about dies this time. It's the mantra playing on repeat in his head as he looks down at the notebook that took Nancy almost three full days of nonstop writing to fill. It's the entire timeline of events, gathered and recounted by everyone still alive, because this Steve has been fighting a losing battle since Spring Break of '86 because Henry won and Hawkins got torn apart and it's been a fight to survive ever since. He's going to stop that from happening.

No one dies this time.

Will doesn't get taken that night, because this Steve is already waiting for him at his house. From Will's perspective this is just some Guy but he's more scared of whatever chased him home then of the person on his doorstep. So, Steve tells him to hang tight and all but shoves him into the house before cutting himself somewhere on his arm and stepping onto the lawn yelling out 'come and get me, ugly'. Of course, the blood draws the demogorgon. And while 17-year-old Steve was no match for just one, this Steve has been fighting packs of them for years now.

He's armed to the teeth and takes it down with precision. He's not unharmed, just one is still fast and dangerous. Steve knows how to fight them now, though. He covers the dead demogorgon with a tarp he stole from his own garage earlier that day and sits on the front porch to wait for Joyce and Jonathan.

Will is both terrified and awed.

Somehow, someway, he gets the Byers to listen. Shows them the dead demogorgon and gives Joyce the notebook from his backpack.

"Read it, and if you aren't convinced, I have more proof of its contents."

And he leaves. The next morning, he has to find El before Benny does, which he succeeds at but just barely. El is skittish and afraid but Steve gets her to trust him. Maybe because her powers brought him back here, she feels a connection to him, a trust that's there instinctively?

He returns to the Byers' house, carrying El the whole way. He stays off the main roads because people are going to recognize him as Steve Harrington and the less people that see him, the better.

Joyce lets him in and immediately fusses over El. Gives her some of Wills clothes to wear.

She's read the notebook cover to cover and has questions. Steve has answers and digs into his backpack to find the item the Joyce from his timeline gave him for proof. Maybe the proof is the same for everyone - individually recorded cassette tapes of their own voices telling them impossible things. Other proof consists of a photo album, pictures of everyone, the destruction of Hawkins, and of the ramshackle home they'd built in the remains of the apocalypse.

Then something something, details pending, everyone gets filled in on the danger that's coming. Maybe the kids get left out this time, get to just be kids or maybe they don't.

Steve meets his younger self and that's just a whole Deal but eventually he gets his younger self to listen. He tells him that being a jackass isn't worth it, and that he's not going to have a reason to change who he is in this timeline, because the events that lead to him being a better person don't happen. He's not going to have his whole life uprooted, so if he wants to be a better, nicer person, he's going to have to pick that life for himself.

Steve doesn't know if his younger self will listen, but he hopes.

Steve hunts down Brenner and shoots him point blank in cold blood. No regrets. Then he shoots the corpse a couple more times. He doesn't get to hurt El ever again. It's only after that that Steve feels the shift, knows that he's going to cease existing by the end of the day, and there's one thing left he needs to do.

He gets Hopper to let him post up with him in his police car at Forest Hills Trailer Park so he can try and catch a glimpse of Eddie Munson, alive and well.

Hopper asks who Eddie is to him.

"Nothing. We never got a chance. Will never get a chance," Steve answers. "Your Steve Harrington won't ever have a reason to even look his way. He died, back in '86. He didn't need to. He shouldn't have."

"You spy on all the other people who died?" Hopper asks. It's not judgmental, just curious.

"No," Steve says, then decides to be honest because he's going to be gone soon anyway, "I barely knew Eddie, but I wanted to love him anyway. Fell in love with his memory, from stories told to me by the kids and Wayne. We were nothing to each other when he was alive, but he could have been everything if we'd gotten a chance."

They don't talk after that. Steve gets to see Eddie arrive home, jump from his van full of life and vibrance and if Hopper notices his silent cry, he politely ignores it.

They drive out to the quarry after. Steve doesn't know what it's going to mean for him to stop existing and he didn't really want a witness to it, but Hopper insisted someone should be or else they'll all just wonder about it.

They stand looking out across the water. Hopper sees something from the corner of his eye and turns to look at Steve but he's not there anymore.

There's nothing left of the Steve Harrington from the future but his actions and a photocopy of the notebook that Nancy made because she wanted to study it, but Joyce didn't want to let it out of her sight. The cassettes, photo's, and original notebook all just disappear before everyone's eyes.

The fight's not over. Henry is still alive, but they're more prepared for him this time around. They know what to expect.

Hopefully that'll be enough this time around.

[mirai-e-jump]

Masato Yano Photobook: TONE (translations and select pages below)

Publication: March 15, 2024

Masato Yano's 132 Q&A About 13 years ago, "Masato Yano's Style Photobook" was published with a Q&A. Now, a 32 year old Masato Yano answers nearly the same questions again.

1) What's your nickname? Yanocchi, Masanii, Masati

2) When were you born? December 16, 1991

3) What's your blood type? Type B

4) Your zodiac sign? Sagittarius

5) What size family are you from? I come from a family of 4

6) How tall are you? 173cm

7) Your shoe size? 26.5cm

8) What are some of your strengths? My jokes

9) How do you spend your days off? I'll drink the night before, go to the gym

10) What subjects were you worst at? Math and history

11) What are your favorite foods? Sushi and tsukemen

12) What's your assessment of your own personality? I'm easily obsessive and bored. I'm actually shy, but I'm trying my best so you don't think that way (laughs)

13) What are some of your weaknesses? I'm not good at remembering things like people's birthdays or names

14) What are you proud of? That I made my debut in "Shintokumaru"

15) What's your favorite color? Red and white

16) What type of woman do you like? Someone with a good core, someone who eats beautifully

17) What instruments can you play? None

18) What's your special skill? That I can guess who someone is just by their voice

19) What's your best feature? My double eyelids

20) What do you wish would disappear from the world? War

21) The first impressions that are often said about you? That I look scary

22) The person that you respect? Tsumabuki Satoshi-san and Fujiwara Tatsuya-san

23) What do you have a habit of saying? "~nanoyo" and "oh no"

24) Your least favorite type? Someone who only talks about themself

25) What's your treasure? The wallet I received from Tsumabuki-san

26) The ideal self that you desire to be? I want to be liked by many people

27) What's your "theme song"? Recently it's been that I'm the "most powerful king"

28) Your favorite artists? WATWING, the Carpenters, Eric Clapton, GENERATIONS

29) What do you do when you first wake up in the morning? Put on my glasses

30) What do you do right before bed? Put on the radio

31) What habits do you do unconsciously? Touch my nose, do things like suck on the end of a straw

32) What do you usually perform at karaoke? I tend to sing alot by SMAP

33) What foods do you not like? Shiitake mushrooms

34) What's your favorite thing to drink? Mets Grapefruit

35) What was the first CD you ever bought? Jet Coaster Romance by KinKi Kids

36) What do you like to watch and what's your favorite anime? Great Pretender, soccer games

37) How long does it take for you to bathe? 1 hour

38) What's your favorite season? I don't do well with heat

39) When do your emotions become intense? They don't

40) What are your hobbies? Muscle training

41) Do you cry easily? When I feel like it

42) Do you have a pet? What's it's name? I had one. It was a cat named Chaco

43) How many children do you want? I want two. A boy and a girl

44) What's the first thing you look at when entering a convenience store? The bento corner

45) What do you usually buy from a convenience store? Water and spicy ramen

46) What really makes you angry? Nothing much

47) What's the number one thing you want right now? Muscles! (laughs)

48) What have you been secretly interested in recently? The Korean language

49) What's the one thing you'd take to a deserted island? A lighter

50) How do you relax at home? Burn incense and listen to some records

51) What's necessary for world peace? Love

52) What do you wonder about? Why is there a Ladies Day, but not a Men's Day?

53) What would you do if the world ended today? I'd overdo things as usual

54) S? M? I wouldn't say I'm an M💦

55) What's your phone background? Currently it's King-Ohger (for the past 2 months)

56) What animal would you compare yourself to? Some kind of reptilian I guess

57) What are you into these days? Cilantro

58) What do you like to collect? Miniature food sets

59) What's your favorite scent? White musk types, Savon by SHIRO

60) What's something expensive that you bought recently? A vintage varsity jacket

61) How often do you go out shopping? At the very least I go out once a month

62) Can you cook? I do it often

63) What kind of present would you be happy to get from a friend? I'd be happy with anything

64) What would make a girl happy if you gave her a present? Aesop

65) What's your fetish? Legs

66) What would the ideal confession be? Saying it on the way back home after going out for meals a few times

67) At what age do you want to marry by? Hopefully by 40 (laughs)

68) What's something good you do for your body? I go to the gym

69) What's something you always have on you? Chapstick

70) What's the ideal spot for a date? A buffet

71) Which do you prefer? The sea or the mountains? Both the sea and mountains have alot of bugs

72) What scares you? Roller coasters, horror, cockroaches

73) When does your excitement rise? When my work goes well

74) What's your favorite place? Home

75) What's your favorite store? It's a secret ❤️

76) Are you a meat eater? Vegetarian? Are you a fan of cabbage rolls? I eat bugs

77) What's your favorite onigiri topping? Salmon roe

78) What do you usually get at a cafe? I don't go to cafes

79) What's something tasty you've eaten recently? The umeboshi Fukuyama-kun gave me

80) What have you been paranoid about recently? That a big earthquake will hit Tokyo

81) Where do you start washing your body from? My head

82) What's your favorite type of fashion? Things that give off an "American casual" feel

83) At what moment do you fall in love with someone? Sometimes it's not really apparent

84) What words make you happy to hear? "Your performance was good"

85) What's your favorite movie? Grave of the Fireflies

86) What person do you really want to meet right now? Ninagawa-san

87) What's something that's alittle luxurious? Sushi that doesn't come from a conveyor belt

88) How would you describe yourself with a single (kanji) character? "Think," because no matter what I do or say, I have alot to think about.

89) How long does it take you to get up in the morning and leave your house? On a work day it takes 20 minutes. I usually don't go out on my days off (laughs)

90) What changes your mood? When I'm left out

91) What would you consider (if they did) to be cheating on you? If they did a deep kiss (laughs)

92) Are you sensitive to the heat? To the cold? I don't like either

93) Emails or phone calls, which is better? Writing is best

94) What do you frequently use on your phone? Instagram, Twitter, Uber

95) How old were you when you first fell in love? What kind of person were they? It was a kid who lived in my neighborhood when I was in my second year of elementary school.

96) What gestures do women do that make you feel excited? When they put their hair behind one ear

97) Are you enjoying work right now? I want to have fun (laughs)

98) What's your favorite TV program? Programs that only feature comedians

99) What's your favorite sport? Soccer

100) What's your least favorite sport? Baseball

101) Are you the type of person who likes park rides that cause you to scream? I don't do well with them, but if I'm asked to ride one, I will (laughs)

102) Are you good at athletics? I think I'm a good at it

103) What do you take photos of? Tsukemen and sushi

104) What's your favorite flower? Gerbera

105) What's your favorite event of the year? It's New Year's Eve, I'll have a party with my friends and we'll eat alot

106) What's your top 3 favorite stalls at a festival? Beef skewers is #3, grilled squid is #2, okonomiyaki is #1

107) What was your most stressful experience? Performing on opening day for Shintokumaru

108) Your favorite donburi? Beef bowl

109) Are you good with your hands? I wonder~?

110) How long do you sleep in a day? About 3-7 hours. I sleep alot longer on days when I don't work

111) Is your sleeping position good? I think it's okay

112) What's your favorite ramen? I love tsukemen. I have a "cat's tongue" though

113) What color would you compare yourself to? Purple

114) Do you like scary stories? I don't like them in any way (laughs)

115) What subjects were you best at? Gym and art

116) What club activities were you involved in? The soccer club in middle school and the dance club in high school

117) If you were reborn, would you rather be male or female? I'd still want to be male

118) What part time jobs have you had? A bread factory, an Izakaya, a festival stall

119) What do you want to do when you're 40? Meet fans at events

120) What were your favorite school lunches? Nanbanzuke, meat sauce

121) Have you ever seen a ghost? I might've (laughs)

122) What's something you'd like to try that you've never experienced before? Travel overseas

123) Where would you like to take a trip to? Hot springs, Korea, Italy

124) What's your favorite ride at an amusement park? The exploration based ones

125) How many times in one day do you send emails? Currently, I exchange about 30-50 LINE's a day

126) Were you the type of person who finished their Summer homework early? I always felt like I was rushing to finish it at the last second💦

127) Are you more likely to arrive early for a meet up? Or do you arrive late? For work I'm early, in my private life I'm late

128) If you want to go out with someone, how many years older are you okay with? I've never thought about it in terms of age

129) What's an essential item you need when traveling? Earphones

130) What do you do when you can't sleep at night? There are so many things that I'll just give up. I actually thought about this questionnaire when I couldn't sleep (laughs)

131) What do you think about while brushing your teeth? I imagine that there's red paint on my teeth, and then I'll imagine how I have to get it off

132) If you only had one week left to live, what would you do? I'd eat a bunch of the foods I like. I'd meet up with the people I like as much as possible. I'd leave a secret audio farewell message for everyone

[mysticbewitched]

mysticc, i need your help.

i'm a 17 years old girl, who is finishing high school this year. i do not want it. i want to be 14 again, and have my desired life. but i don't know how to do that. i don't know if i apply the law of assumption, i don't know if go to nondualism philosophy or if i go to the shifting methods.

it's a lot of things, but they doesn't matter to me, i just want to wake up in my desired reality with my dream life. it's like now everything that i know about nondualism, loa and shifting just disappears and I stop believing again.

please, help me. it's so desperate and confused.

— your 🐝 anon.

I understand that you're feeling confused and I hope to clear things up for you.

You see, you could dive into many methods as you pleased for wanting to experience your desired reality, but this is coming from an inner place of not understanding who you are.

Methods are pointless "shiny toys" to waste your time on without vital knowledge of your true self and faith in yourself as a conscious creator.

I realize that there is an all-out war on this platform of "Loa" vs. Nondualism and the most ridiculous part of it all is that both sides of the mirror don't seem to understand that the whole core of the Law of Consciousness goes back to Nondualism philosophy.

Nondualism is never something for you to "apply" in order to "get" your desires. Nondualism is not a toy or "another trend" for you to use in order to "try" out and "see if it works for you."

It is all connected to form the greater picture of it all.

People are absolutely missing the point of the entire greater picture behind everything and the absolute truth behind our infinite manifestation power and our ability to warp our reality.

There should not be any of these pointless wars going on. It is all saying the same thing at the end of the night, and none of these "separate" communities are actually understanding each piece that fits into the whole puzzle.

The ultimate objective here is: freedom from a false sense of self-identification.

You must understand that Nondualism is *not* a method for you to "try" for your manifestations.

It is only a lifestyle of living and a philosophy for understanding your true nature as awareness and the one reality of consciousness.

All of the concepts that you have learned, such as self-concept, consciousness is the only reality, "the void state", states of consciousness - it all directly goes back to the paramount foundation of Nondualism's philosophy.

The Law of Consciousness and Nondualism are honestly one in the very same. The only difference is in the approach of the way these teachings are being taught. These are just different terms to explain the nature of your true self as awareness and the role of consciousness.

You only believe that you are a person, and this is the deceptive game of the ego, but you are actually omnipotent awareness disguised in human form while observing and experiencing the life of a human being. You are the universe experiencing itself.

The issue here is how a vast amount of people in this community completely misunderstand and misinterpret teachings of the Law of Consciousness (you are *IT*) and approach the subject of conscious manifestation with an ignorant, ego-based view without truly knowing their power and cutting down to the beautiful core of who they truly are.

I'll say it once more, you guys are taking the completely wrong approach when it comes to understanding manifestation and what it means to live as a conscious manifestor after discovering who you truly are. Omnipotent and all-powerful.

Consciously manifesting your desires is only a pleasurable bonus of choosing to break free from victim mentality and live from the confident, peaceful mindset of understanding your true self, and how the game of your life actually works in truth. This is all purely about awakening from the illusionary dream of your life to who you truly are and experiencing living out your experiences from a transformed sense of self-perception.

You said that, "I just want to wake up in my desired reality with my dream life" - you see, this right here is the *whole problem.* This is coming from a place of complete ignorance and a lack of understanding.

The blatant ignorance of true self's nature.

You do not understand the whole purpose of manifestation, which is to recognize your true self behind your human disguise. This is simply about self-realization during your spiritual awakening.

You guys want to completely rush straight into manifesting your desires without taking the time to actually learn and understand the infinite and boundless nature of who you truly are.

Without understanding who you truly are, you continue to stay asleep in the dream of the reality that you have been creating all this time without realizing it and being completely ignorant of your omnipotent power as the creator of all there is.

Take a moment and look around you to just sit with your awareness and closely observe your surroundings. See the nature, the sky, your body's form, and the totality of life itself happening all around you - you created all of this. You are experiencing your own creations every day. Isn't it beautiful? You are infinite power itself.

Without knowing your true self, you stay stuck and continue to struggle in a vicious cycle with victim mentality, frustration, impatience, and complete ignorance on your manifestation journey. Yet, I have seen that so many of you refuse to open your eyes and understand the issue behind your struggles throughout your spiritual awakening.

None of this matters for a second unless you truly know your omnipotent power and your true self.

None of this is ever about manifesting your desires. You inevitably experience a personal Heaven on earth in your reality when you understand your true self as awareness.

Who you are is not the role of the human that you are only pretending to be in the game of life when, in truth, you are so much greater and more infinitely powerful than you could ever recognize. Your power cannot ever be put into any words to be described, and absolutely anything is possible for you.

Now, when it comes to consciously manifesting a desire from the perception of knowing your true self:

All you have to do is simply decide that something is done because you are the one in control of "reality."

Accept your desire as now already fulfilled with an inner mind of a confident expectation for its manifestation, and live your life walking by faith, knowing who you are with every step you take.

What is impossible for the limitless creator?

You can warp every single little bit of reality.

I hope that I was able to shed some light for you and put things into a different perspective for you to re-consider moving forward on your spiritual journey of enlightenment.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

I Cherish You, Halcyon Days: ii.

“You’re gonna die, kid. In the worst way possible.”

tags: afab!reader (she/her), angst, slow burn

pairing: gojou x reader + onesided!getou x reader

summary: You’re 15 years old when you’re told you’re going to die. You’re 17 years old when you realize who your killer will be. And you’re 17 years old when you make peace with the fact you wouldn’t want it any other way.

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"[Full Name]," your aunt's tone is stern.

"Now before you start, Auntie, I just want to say you look lovely today."

"[Full Name]."

"Classes were canceled today!" Your aunt looks at you in disbelief and you chuckle nervously. Lying to your aunt isn't normally your style, but you knew the trouble that would be heading your way if you told her you ditched. Your classmates and teacher were easy to lay off when you texted Shoko you wanted to be alone. You don't have the same excuse to toss to your aunt. "Seriously, I told you months ago that this school is weird with its scheduling, didn't I?"

Her brow unfurled only slightly at the reminder, your weak argument somewhat convincing. There isn't much she knew about the world of jujutsu besides what Yaga told her in the initial sales pitch as to why he wanted you to transfer to Tokyo Jujutsu Tech. Auntie Chiharu only knew the basics: curses are real, cursed energy and that's the bulk of what your education would be concerning going forward.

Skeptical as she was, your aunt didn't stop you when you expressed your interest in attending. She only asked that you did what you could to stay safe. "And if it gets too much, you can always go right back to Tsubame High with all of your friends."

You loved that about your aunt. She'd never stop you from the pursuit of self-discovery. It's what made her especially cool to you when you first came to Japan during what was supposed to be a temporary living arrangement. As long as you weren't doing anything exceedingly stupid, you were free to give something a shot. As long as your grades didn't slip, she was quite loose when it came to curfews.

My parents were the kind to be really strict," she told you one day over lunch. "When I remember how uncomfortable that was, I told myself I'd try to be different than them. Just don't take your privileges for granted and I can keep being the cool aunt, okay?" Auntie Chiharu wasn't your family, not by blood anyway. In reality, she was just a family friend ー your mother's host sister back when she did a year long exchange program in Japan. She's been Auntie Chiharu for as long as you could remember.

"Well if you are just actually visiting because you didn't have classes today, then it is nice to see you, [First]," you finally get a smile back from the woman. "You didn't have to come all the way out here. I was going to see you next week."

If you could do so without bringing overt suspicion to yourself, you'd sigh in relief. "I just wanted to surprise you, that's all. And I wanted to see Mina."

Auntie Chiharu makes a knowing sound, "ah ha! So it wasn't me you wanted to see, but Mina. I should have known." Picking up a bucket of fish and ice, the aquarist nods at the one she left behind before leading the charge to where your favorite animal companion lies. "Maybe one day you'll love your aunt like that, you just want me for the aquarium."

Everything about it still feels as magical as the first time you came to your aunt's place of work your first summer in Japan. You were too young to care about things like humidity and the incessant cries of the cicadas and your level of Japanese was nonexistent. All that paled in comparison to visiting another country for the first time and even that fact paled in comparison to getting backstage access to an aquarium. So almost everyday that summer break, you left early in the morning with your aunt to her job. If you weren't helping to feed some of the animals with freshly washed hands and arms alongside the watchful eyes of the staff, you would walk around the place pretending you had rented out the entire place for yourself.

You love all the sea critters in the Wonder Aquarium, Mina is a simply the most beloved part of the 'my aunt is an aquarist' experience. She was 7 and you were 7, a bond meant to be as far as you were concerned back then. Even now, you consider Mina the beluga to be among your very best of friends.

If you weren't busy with school, you were at the aquarium telling her about the little updates in your life, the highest highs and the most embarrassing of lows.

The time you cried as you told her about the accident you had in class because you couldn't remember how to ask to go to the bathroom.

When you finally made your first friend.

Becoming a first year in middle school. Meeting Chinatsu and Tooru.

And of course, you told Mina all about how you got yourself dragged into the world of jujutsu. How the weird demon and ghouls you always saw were called curses and that you were going to learn to how to fight them.

You haven't been able to see her as much since your enrollment. The thought of her being a few short minutes away does something to calm your nerves after the events of yesterday.

Grabbing a bucket for yourself, you follow after your aunt with an enthusiastic skip, "seeing you is an added bonus!"

"How's school been?"

"It's been fine," you keep any mention of dying in the worst way possible at the hands of your beloved to yourself. Auntie Chiharu is many things. One to take fortunes of death concerning her niece with a pinch of salt ? You're sure she'd sooner try burning down your school. You never even told her about the death of the one and only second year at the school a couple months prior. "I told you before how they actually celebrate our birthdays at this school because there's not a lot of students, right? But because me and another classmate ー that Gojou guy I mentioned ー have birthdays just days apart from each other, they're just celebrating ours on the same day." Your aunt makes a noise of curiosity and you explain with your own noise of annoyance. "He was born on the 7th so we're supposed to share the 8th."

"Well that sounds fun."

"Trust me, sharing a birthday party with Gojou isn't going to be fun. He's annoying." I was supposed to be due in late November, right? Why can't I share birthdays with Shoko? But no, instead baby [First] took her sweet, sweet time and decided December 9th was the day for her.

Auntie Chiharu ignores your dismay, laughing at your anguish, "I still haven't met your classmates from this school, you know. You should bring them over when you get the chance. I'll make sure they leave thinking you're really cool."

I'm pretty sure they'd find you way cooler than me. "I'm not really sure if any of my classmates would be interested in coming to an aquarium. Well, maybe Suguru would be, just to be polite." Everyone else comes from jujutsu families whether big name or small. "Then again, I think Utahime would love it here." During an old conversation of yours concerning first date spots that weren't just dinner or a movie, you both agreed that going to an aquarium would be a fun conversation starter. Among your upperclassmen, she is a romantic.

"Suguru sounds like a first name to me," comes says coyly. "So does Utahime. Is there romance blossoming at this special school of yours?"

You roll your eyes in good fun, "I'm on first name basis with almost everyone at that school, Auntie," you tell her before she can run on with her theories about your non-existent love life. "I'm not into either of them and neither of them are into me. I'm holding out for Morris, we've been through this."

"That man is married and 36 years old."

"He's gonna leave his wife some day," you counter with too much confidence for someone only turning 16 in 6 days. "And when he does, I'll be waiting at my wedding venue of choice!" Whatever your aunt says in response, you have no idea as she shakes her head with an exasperated release of her breath. You open your mouth to argue for the sake of arguing when you see a familiar squishy head peering over a wall and any debate concerning your pipe dreams halt. "Mina!" Two more heads pop up, ah yes the other members of her little pod. "Ryuu, Yuu!"

Auntie Chiharu pats your back lightly, "I'll take the boys and feed them before moving onto a different area. I'm sure you can handle your best friend." Your aunt knows the drill. Mina time is private time, like writing in a sentient diary. "Don't jump into the tank," she adds with a pinch.

You chuckle, "that was 10 year old [First]'s prerogative."

And 7 year old [First]. And [First] 8 through 9.

"Hey, Mina," you sigh softly, placing a gentle hand on her melon and giving it a friendly squish. It doesn't matter how many times you've touched it, beluga skin still feels something akin to touching wet styrofoam. "It's been forever since I've seen you, how you've been?" At Mina's friendly whistles you beam. "Good! I'm glad to hear the boys aren't giving you too hard a time. Me? School's been... something." You wait until you hear the telltale clatter of the the tank doors and you know Auntie Chiharu is far enough to not hear anything that comes next.

Another breath leaves you, this time much heavier in nature as you toss a few fish into Mina's jaws. "Seriously something," you whisper. "You already know where I'm going to school now, you don't need a major recap. But," you stall over your next words and focus on feeding Mina fish and ice.

When there's nothing left in the bucket besides melted water and fish scales you place you decide to lay on your stomach, disregarding the cool water seeping through your shirt and pants. "I'm supposed to die, Mina," you murmur at last, touching her melon again. "Looks like we won't be growing up together, after all." You recall Takamatsu's owlish eyes, his near manic grins.

All sorcerers are supposed to be at least a little crazy, apparently.

You wonder what the crazy meter is for someone who can see glimpses of someone's future when they look at them. Crazy enough that I can't ask him 'boring questions' about how I die. "Not really sure when, I forgot to ask. But to be honest, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have liked it if I asked," you tell the beluga about Takamatsu's disdain for lackluster questions. "So don't go asking me when or where. I don't know that either.

"... it's not like I didn't go into sorcerery thinking I couldn't die," you continue on. "It's a huge part of the job description. Warning: being a jujutsu sorcerer will bring in closer proximity to curses and curses can cause death, life threatening injuries, disembowelment, decapitation, more death and oh did we mention death? Ask your primary doctor if being a sorcerer is right for you."

But you promised yourself back when an undertow almost took you out that you wouldn't let fear run your life, just like Auntie Chiharu decided not to. Now here you are, confronted with something scarier than the abstract 'I could die' ー a solid confirmation of death. "... but I guess it's not even a curse that does me in, girl. I'm supposed to be killed by someone precious to me."

You wave your hand and despite yourself, you giggle when Mina rolls onto her side and waves back. "You're not gonna kill me are you, Mina?"

The sea canary makes what you say is a convincing argument that she wouldn't even dream of doing such a thing. "Don't worry, I didn't think you would," you reassure her, letting your arm sink into the chilly water. It's not jumping into the tank, Auntie Chiharu can't make any complains. Death by beluga whale sounds pretty interesting so you're sure Takamatsu would have mentioned it if you asked. "But this person is supposed to be so special that I won't even die mad about it. That Takamatsu guy said I really loved them."

You must really really love them.

At the sounds of clicks and whistles that are distinctly not the beluga in front of you, your eyes wander to the far east of the tank where you know your aunt is. You try to imagine Auntie Chiharu killing you, you try to picture how you'd feel if she did it now.

"I'm," you rest your chin on the hand that isn't elbow deep into icy cold water. "I'm really gonna love someone that much some day," you babble softly on in awe at the statement. "It's kinda amazing when I think about it. I don't really know if there's anyone I love that much right now. I don't even think I love my parents that much. We're the kind of family where our relationship got better after I moved out of the house." No more weird daughter, no more talk of imaginary ghouls. The love you have for your parents definitely has its limits. Your future executioner you adore definitely has to be someone that isn't family. "Who do you think it'll be?"

Mina has no answer for you but you grin anyway, "I wanna meet 'em too."

It's almost 18:00 when you finally finish making your way up the gazillion steps onto Jujutsu Tech's campus and that's when you're caught sneaking back into the dorms by Suguru.

"I thought you were sick in your dorms," the boy remarks when he catches you red-handed.

You laugh sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck, "you wouldn't happen to believe me if I said I'm just a figment of your imagination, right?" Your shoulders sag in relief when Suguru chuckles at your lackluster attempt at covering your ass. At the very least, you knew the taller boy wouldn't snitch on the fact you hadn't actually been moping in your room all day.

"It'll be our little secret," Suguru says at last when his light bought of laughter subsides. Perfect. "How are you feeling?"

"Compared to yesterday? Better," talking to a beluga whale about your problems has been a surprisingly effective tactic since you were 7. "I just needed to clear my head and think for a while. And well I guess I thought, if I'm gonna die anyway, why not knock something off my bucket list. I've never ditched school before," despite your lackadaisical grin, Suguru grimaces at your words and your heart clenches. It's too soon to joke about your fate, even for you. But fake it til you make it. You made your decision. "So why not do it so I'm not laying on my deathbed full of regrets, right?" The lack of banter in return makes you sigh, holding your arm closely to your side. "Sorry. Kinda just figuring out how to approach the whole... dying in the worst way possible thing."

Suguru's look of sympathy isn't one you know if you should accept full-heartedly, "he let you ask questions about it, so there might be some way to change what happens to you. The future is malleable."

You remember how the seer looked aghast at you even asking how you die and snort, "those answers were helpful and unhelpful at the same time. So, I'm not really counting on things changing much." Not unless you really didn't like what you saw in the future. "Either way, I want to see this thing through and see what happens. It's terrifying, don't get me wrong," you divulge truthfully with a shaky sigh. Shit yourself levels of terrifying if you're being particularly honest.

Death may be part of your job description but you don't want to die. "You got 'hey man, you're gonna have some tough life decisions' and I got 'you're dying, not sorry'. And I don't even have a timeline I'm working with," you curse yourself again for not asking Takamatsu when you'd die. But if I did, he'd probably cut off letting me ask anymore questions in the first place. That sounds like a boring question, after all. "But living in fear isn't my style. So I'm just gonna keep doing me until I'm in the dirt. We're all dying some day, I'm not special."

And there's someone I want to meet, you keep to yourself. I want still want to choose my own future. So you will.

You'll meet whoever it is you're supposed to love so much you wouldn't even care if they killed you and you'll judge for yourself if they're someone you actually want in your life. With un-tinted glasses.

With an internal pat on your back, you give Suguru one that is much more external in nature, "so don't worry about little ole me. I'm pretty sure I'm not dying any time soon based on what I was told though, so don't get all sad on me. My birthday's coming up though so if you do wanna be extra nice, just get me extra presents or something."

You get a small smile in return, although you're sure your classmate isn't thoroughly convinced. You accept the smile as a win despite that. "I'll try to catch myself from moping too much then. I'll tell Satoru to be extra nice too," Suguru turns a sharp but playful eye toward you. "You're birthday buddies, after all."

"Please be for real," you squint back in displeasure. "Now we're gonna be stuck together all day on the 8th. Be lucky you don't have any birthday buddies." Utahime and Suguru's birthdays were a comfortable enough distance in February that neither had to worry about sharing anything other than a birthday month. Apparently that's too much to ask for yourself. "Let's switch birthdays, actually," you rest a fist on your other palm, a metaphorical light bulb lighting up over your head. "He's your best friend, it would perfect!"

"No way, I can't handle that much Satoru in my life." You roll your eyes, sticking your tongue out petulantly. "If it's any consolation, we didn't get along much our first couple weeks of school." It didn't offer much comfort so much as amusement. According to Shoko, their first day of school, Suguru and Gojou got into a fight so bad classes had to be canceled the rest of the day. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that squabble. "So it'll probably be the same for you," he smiles to himself, lost in whatever thoughts of friendship and rainbows he must be having. "It'd just be nice for the two of you to get along seeing as you're both friends of mine."

You hold your index fingers up in an 'x', "don't jinx me please. I'm a proud member of the We Hate Gojou Alliance with Utahime, I'm not betraying my girl like that." In spite of your vehement protests, Suguru laughs. He can laugh all he wants, I'm not giving up my badge of being a hater. A yawn falls from your lips. "Anyways, I'm hitting the showers," you yawn again, the lack of sleep finally beginning to catch up to you. "I've been out all day and I'm tired."

"Where'd you go anyway?" Suguru asks as you finally continue making your way to the dorms. "You smell like fish."

You laugh sheepishly. That's a drawback to the backstage aquarium visits. Good ole fish smell.

There's a reason no one wanted to be next to you on the train. "Enoshima."

"... Enoshima?"

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Extra

Alt. chapter title: Local teen trauma dumps to beluga whale, results may very

Auntie Chiharu's name is written with the characters for small '小' and spring '春'. That isn't important, I just think it's a cute name. She's got a degree in marine biology and works as an aquarist in Enoshima. She's not your average aunt, she's a cool aunt. Has heard many of your Gojou-related rants in the past. She deserves a medal