#musing out loud

[yurious-george]

For the internet safety thing, I think kids under 10 should be given overall limited access to the internet and shouldn’t own their own iPad or smartphone, because that breeds wildly unhealthy internet overuse habits. Believe me, I know: my dad saw no issues with constant screen time, and it upset me even as a kid how much time I spent on screens, playing pixie hollow or watching movies.

10-13 is when they should really start learning internet safety, and make a few social media accts with parental supervision. But their use of the internet shouldn’t be too monitored, especially after 13/14.

Like, unmonitored internet access wasn’t always *good,* but I had a good head on my shoulders. I knew better than to talk to people who gave me bad vibes, post my full address or name online, and avoided stuff that made me upset - or talked about what scared me with my parents. There was even a moment where I went on a website that promised a Lego castle design, then the website prompted a popup that my computer needed to download an upgrade, and I told my parents because I smelled a rat. Saved the family laptop that way.

However, having a space to talk about my parents without them looking over my shoulder and research - both to understand my mental health, and keep myself entertained and growing while in a severely isolated situation - was an absolute lifesaver. Having independence and privacy helped me unlearn some of the mistakes they made raising me, talk to people in a country that barely spoke my language, and figure out how to address my mental health.not having that privacy to mess up and make my own choices sounds like a nightmare that might’ve killed me.

Guess the tl:dr is I don’t think teens should have their internet access monitored, but they should be given the tools to curate what they see online. Young kids who can’t develop that toolset yet should be given more supervision, and more limited screen time overall.

I really don’t mind quieting a kid in public with an iPad, though. I’d much rather hear iPad game noises than a crying baby.

[woodpengu]

I'm reteaching myself how to actually make art.

But first I'm making a presumption portfolio/sketchbook as a time capsule for when I reach the end.

Because comparison is the thief of joy... when it's to someone you're not. But when it's to someone you once were the joy also tugs pride and confidence by the hands as they run through the treasures you've made to get from there to here.

And I am eager to see all the things future me has made to look back on whenever they reopen this book at the end of this lesson... or years from now when they've covered the walls in paintings and filled the shelves with books and filled their life with all the colors and textures we once only dreamed of. Or when I'm withering in flesh and waning in attachment, ready to let go of all the creations I left behind for others to take in.

Here's to the future, and the Self I'll be thanks to the choices I'm making to become them.

[shakingparadigm]

It seems like Unsha is.... fairly tame? At least compared the horrendous feats of Urak and Heperu. He almost seems more grounded compared to them? Unlike Urak and Heperu, who are obssessed with winning to the point of trying over and over again, Unsha accepts his loss gracefully and moves forward with other things.

Ivan was a gift to Unsha's wife for her birthday. He chose children based off of their potential, and when Ivan showed the most promise he gave him full investment. Instead of forcing out Ivan's talent through more heavily abusive means (nurturing, it seems to be called), he brings Ivan to success through sponsorships, methodical marketing and exposure. Unsha considers the things he learned from being with Ivan and takes interest in what Ivan's thoughts might have been before death. He says that despite everything, Ivan was worth the investment and worth the loss.

I'm not trying to say that Unsha was a "good parent", he was neglectful to Ivan's personal needs and worked him relentlessly among other things. There definitely could have been more diabolical actions that haven't been revealed yet. He undoubtedly viewed Ivan as a product that he needed to sell (a businessman in all areas), but it's just interesting to note his differences and train of thought. Much to think about.

[aokozaki]

Monogatari often plays pretty fast and lose with what an Oddity. A Phoenix is the first cuckoo of spring. A snail is also symbolically a cow.

I think if I allow myself that, and take a concept that shows up all over mythology and folklore worldwide (due to being various explanations for phenomena we're beginning to understand scientifically), and play a bit free associativity with the recurring connotations between them...

"Karen Hitodama"

Which may be the same thing as Kitsune fox fire, or will o' the wisps, or a great many other things. Broadly associated with graveyards, or hidden treasure, or trickster spirits luring you into the night.

Importantly, it's most often fire - perfect for a Fire Sister.

Importantly, there's a recurring association with death, or being cursed to wander the earth - perfect for regenerative immortality.

Importantly, many cultures have the same idea of those mystery glows signaling hidden treasure - perfect, thematically, for granting a wish.

Importantly, in addition to "spirits luring you away", in western culture (such as with the Jack o' Lantern) it's the price to pay for a deal with the devil - perfect for, oops, you got what you wanted, but also stuck on a rebar overnight.

If I coalesce everything together, I can treat them as a sort of catch all for a wish-granting spirit that also brings bad luck. Karen simply reaching for what her siblings have...

If anything, Koyomi locking his sisters out of the loop has made my desire for Karen Regeneration arc even stronger. That "feeling of being left out" that could manifest an Oddity only becomes even stronger if her brother lied to her on top of it.

Hmmm... I just sorta need a mythological entity that fits that fiery resentment...

[aflawedfashion]

Amy & Rory | Doctor Who 6x05

[vindicated-truth]

As someone who loves both characters individually and together, I keep wondering if Dongsik's and Joowon's relationship is healthy.

(Please feel free to chime in with your own views, let's figure this out together lol)

Are they enablers of each other?

Yes, in a way, especially when they had no choice to, if they want to solve the cases they're working on together. They did it, however, with the promise / threat that they will each be punished for their own wrongdoing in the end.

Do they owe each other anything?

Yes, but at the same time they kind of neutralize each other in the end. Dongsik owes Joowon for catching Han Kihwan, but at the same time Joowon is also the one who arrests him. At the same time, Joowon owes Dongsik for having his own father be the murderer of Dongsik's sister, yet he brought justice to Dongsik in the end, and even followed through with Dongsik making him vow to live the rest of his life as a cop.

(To be honest, I don't think you can give a worse punishment to someone with a very rigid and absolute moral compass than to not get out of a very corrupt and broken system.)

Do they have an equal footing with each other in their hierarchical society?

Not at the beginning, but they do in the end.

Do they have a rose-colored glasses view of each other?

This is debatable, when from the very beginning they've already seen the absolute worst of each other. They can only go up from there, so to speak, since they've never really forgotten each of the other's flaws even as their relationship progressed into something less combative and more of grudging awe.

They do have a somewhat idealized view of each other in the end, but that's mostly because of experience, what they went through together: they know exactly what the other did for them, and can't help but feel grateful for it.

Do they complement each other?

I've written multiple posts about it lol, so it goes without saying that in many, many ways, their weaknesses are complemented extremely well by the other's strengths.

Do they ruin each other?

See, this is the thing: I think they've ruined each other for other people.

Their relationship evolved from a unique mix of their own complementary traits and their special circumstances, neither of which I believe can be replicated by and with anyone else.

No one else would have a deeper understanding of Dongsik's lunacy than Joowon, who witnessed first hand what drove him to it—and by whom.

No one else would have a deeper understanding of Joowon's stubbornness than Dongsik, who witnessed first hand the lengths Joowon would go to complete his goals—and why.

It's a very unique circumstance that only the two of them will share and intimately know about each other, for better or for worse, by virtue of the fact that they are each driven to be who they are now, ironically, by Han Kihwan.

By virtue of being Lee Yuyeon's murderer, and by virtue of being Han Joowon's father.

That's the power Han Kihwan had and will always have over them. They are who they are in part because of what he did to them, separately and together.

That's what makes him the true monster of the story, the "final boss" of the series of monsters that both Dongsik and Joowon had to deal with, not because he was the "best" or "most powerful" of the villains—he was actually the weakest, stupidest, and most cowardly of them all—but he had the most impact to each of their lives, in the absolute worst way.

And isn't that the true evil? What is truly angering of all? That the least of them all had the most damage done to the best of people.

Would it be healthier for them to end up with other people, someone new and different?

Objectively—yes.

My worry for Joowon is that he might always feel like he owes Dongsik, just because he intimately knows what his own family did to Dongsik's family.

And my worry for Dongsik is that he might always feel like he owes Joowon too, precisely because he intimately knows everything Joowon had to give up in order to bring justice to him.

There's a chance that their relationship might evolve the same way as, for example, Nam Sangbae's relationship with Dongsik, who had stuck with him with some misplaced sense of responsibility—even as his love and care for Dongsik had been sincere—because it was colored by guilt.

For Joowon's and Dongsik's relationship in particular, it wouldn't necessarily be out of guilt—they've already punished each other, so to speak, in ways they deem fitting—but out of gratitude.

I can't be sure if that's a healthy foundation of a relationship, to be with each other because you're grateful to them. Perhaps that's also why I find it more believable to accept the actual ending of the story as the right one, if only because they need that time apart to re-discover who they are without the shadow of Han Kihwan looming over them—in different ways—so that if and when they choose to come back to each other, it'll be after a re-affirmation of their own sense of selves, this time free from everything that had previously shackled them.

Is it better for other people to be with them?

This is just the reverse of the question above, and honestly? My objective answer is no.

It is with complete and utter love for the both of them that I say they may have ruined each other for other people.

For Joowon in particular, his new theoretical significant other might want and need a partner who would have more attention and time for them as a family, instead of one who is completely and utterly devoted to his duty as a cop.

For Dongsik in particular, his new theoretical significant other might want and need a partner who has more concrete goals and ambitions in life, and not someone who is just starting to figure out his own identity and his life after finally being free from all the shadows that dogged his steps for decades.

Because the thing is, I'm not entirely sure that their new significant others would deserve them, just because I'm also not entirely sure neither Dongsik nor Joowon would be completely happy—even as they might have sincerely loved their new theoretical partners in return—with someone who wouldn't have completely understood who they are and what they've gone through, and what they're still going through.

For better or for worse, I don't think there's anyone else who can completely understand and accept them, the best and the worst of who they are—other than each other.

In conclusion: Is it healthy?

In time, it can be. Let them come back to each other at their own pace, in their own time.

I think they do know, deep in their hearts, that—for better or for worse—there will be no other.

And I think that can also be their motivation too, to do their best to make up for their mistakes, to live their best life and be the best of who they can be, and find their own ways to heal and move forward, because they have someone waiting for them.

Someone to come home to.

[cherrylng]

I'm currently in the midst of translating an interview of the band from 2000, and for some reason, Matt said this:

"I've always had this side to me. Deep down inside, I have a desire to be a 'whore', and that desire sometimes comes out (laughs)."

Which, um.... what????

Matthew James Bellamy???? Can you explain what your 21-year old self was thinking back then?????

[rithalie-sideblog]

Okay so

SPOILERS for INSIDE JOB and one more Disney show but I hope I am safe since it’s not exactly new.

The ending to Inside job CRUSHED ME.

You know, Reagan and Ron? The least likely couple to be created? That turned out to be the absolute best pairing I could have ever hoped for? THEM.

I SO wanted them to end up happily, even in Appleton. Hell, they deserve it. So I had a stupid idea.

Maybe there’s a timeline where they did end up together?

The one where they stayed in Appleton.

Because you know what I thought of when I looked at Appleton logo?

SPOILERS!

Yeah it’s very very far-fetched. But just IMAGINE.

Ron and Reagan end up together.

They move in. They argue. They make up. They live somehow happily. They have KIDS.

A boy, who just knows there’s something out there - something he just needs to prove or discover. That’s just out of his reach.

And a girl, whose only idea for life is to be happy - truly, remarkably happy. Against all odds, against the very universe scheming to make her and her family unhappy.

Maybe them?

Like I said, it’s far-fetched but I love the idea for Ron and Reagan escaping the shadow world, only for their kids to almost unleash eldritch horrors upon the earth.

Because if there’s something Reagan’s kids and Randall’s grandchildren would do is make a deal with cosmic horror spirit and turn on strange machines in the basement.

(yes I’m looking at you Mabel)

We know twins are not related to uncle Stan (Hell, he may as well be Owl Lady’s ex from the Owl house - guy has his own set of relationship problems)

And we never saw their parents!

So what if Dipper and Mabel’s parents are Ron and Reagan? Maybe they did wipe their minds and raised the kids without a care about the shadow government?

You can’t tell me that Ron would be a bad father - guy has the father streak a mile long! He is patient with Reagan, he is reasonable, absolutely scared shitless about people he cares about and just wants them all safe! He would instal that hopeful streak in Mabel and keep feeding it because she is just what they need to keep color in their life. He is also snarky and Dipper definitely learned that from someone.

And Reagan? Socially unsure Reagan who has the habit of hyper fixating and losing touch with reality and would definitely pass that on to her son? She would try to be so gentle with Dipper and not crush his hopes and ideas because she would feel bad if she even tried. She could remember her dad as a mad scientist and most of all absent father but he also always nurtured her scientific growth. So let her nurture that in her own kids - most notably her son. And let her daughter make all the friends she could have. Just keep praising her - gOoOood work honey…? (Confused glance at Ron, as their daughter runs around with handmade embellishment gun for her sweaters. Ron just gives Reagan a thumbs up)

Let them just be good parents.

Or even not-so-good-ones. After all, who sends their kids off to a relative on the other side of America for the whole summer without even background checking the guy?

Mayyyyybe parents who were just given their memories back and called to help in saving the world from another crisis?!

Or just terrible parents. Just because Ron and Reagan are great with one another, they still argue and they make mistakes. And they may try to do their best by their kids but also fuck up. They could and they probably would because which parent doesn’t fuck up sometimes?

Maybe they never got wiped and they tried to make their relationship work despite their jobs? And then BAM kids?

Or maybe Ron got wiped, and Reagan was pregnant already and her and Brett raised the kids until Ron came storming back into their lives (because I want them to be happy together - and he could beat the brainwash since he surely build some immunity by exposure over the years)

Man I just love the idea of Mabel and Dipper being Reagan’s kids. And just - living their best summer adventure life while their parents have to deal with one cosmic crisis after the other. And then Ron and Reagan realizing it’s their kids whom unleashed the cosmic horror upon the earth the moment they got some time for themselves!

Yeah, grandpa Rand would be proud.

And for anyone who says that Mabel and Dipper don’t look like Ron or Reagan - there are some possible options that explain the difference in noses (since it’s one of the things that set the kids apart from R&Rs).

Option 1: genetics - Mainly Ron’s parents having round noses.

Option 2: Ron and Reagan unable to have kids and using the donor or adopting (maybe a certain red-head with golden heart is the donor?)

Option 3: Brett being in the relationship with them both (my favorite)

Because look at them:

I run out of space for pictures but puppet master Brett and puppet maker Mabel? They would be besties, if not family.

And the idea of Ron cultivating the optimism in Mabel still stands - he may not be the one who she gets it from but he will surely do his best to make his little girl happy and to keep her happy (her and his son and his wife - he is such a family man)

So…

TL;DR: What if, in one of the timelines, Mabel and Dipper Pines turned out to be Reagan and Ron’s children? :D

[endl3sshysteria]

pls this is probably so much funnier in my silly little brain but i was listening to space dementia and then buddy holly came on and my discord started tweaking and and and

[relicsongmel]

Do you guys ever think about Iris' blushing sprite?

Do you ever think that the first time we see it. is RIGHT AFTER she hears Phoenix use her real name for the first time?

Imagine loving a man. that didn't even know your REAL NAME until five years after you "broke up." Imagine that man loving you back despite him not knowing a thing about who you really are. And you're okay with that

Because you don't really like who you are anyway.

And once the illusion shatters and fate forces the two of you apart?

None of it matters anymore. If anything it's what you deserve for thinking you could live out your lie with no consequences. It's what you deserve for daring to try to find happiness in a world that has cast you and the people you love aside time and time again.

And then. When against all odds he blindsides you by entering your life again

You hear your name escape his lips. And in that moment you realize

Maybe being seen for who you really are isn't so bad after all.

Maybe. JUST MAYBE. With time. You could learn to finally drop your facade and live in earnest. To fight for what's right the way he told you he wanted to do.

And it shows on your face. It's shown by your rose-colored cheeks and a shy smile that's impossible for you to hide. And for the first time in several years

You don't feel like you need to.

[capn-twitchery]

thinking bout twitch's red honey situation. thought too much and now i'm wondering stuff,,,in nemesis Especially, it says that the pain of the honey being consumed comes from the feeling of someone being inside your memories when you can feel they're not supposed to be,,,so

if twitch has absolutely no recollection of their past memories, would it still hurt if people ate the honey harvested from them?? i'd guess it would but they'd have no idea why??

if twitch's ""memories"" were sourced from red honey made of other people's memories. does it cause the original victims pain anytime twitch "recalls" it?? they're technically not supposed to be in those memories....they got into them via red honey, and just never left?? which has horrifying implications maybe. oh god

[hinamie]

it happens every now and then but it's always such a pleasant surprise when i realize i'm actually rly happy with my art and where i am skill-wise

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

tlhis is what i was looking for. fun simurgh side effect of madness-inducing tinnitus

[always-coffee]

Darlings, a moment.

I don't know about you, but the everything has been a lot lately.. This past week has felt like a garbage fire of Mondays. And I'm tired. And sensitive. And longing for good things in the middle of the chaos.

There's regular anxiety, day job anxiety, writer anxiety -- and a whole heap of things that will never make it here for public consumption.

And I know I'm not alone. I know that there are always so many things weighing on our hearts. Troubles sitting on our shoulders. Especially lately.

I tend to be a human ball of sunshine. And I am. I don't like it when I feel overwhelmed/anxious/frustrated all at once! So, what's the solution?

Small joys. Noticing every sunset/sunrise. Sharing photos of them when people I care about. Making sure people I care about know that I care. Not playing it cool, because ew, no thank you.

Petting the neighbor's cat, who comes by at least twice a day to scream at the door (he's a Bengal), asking if I can come out and give him pets.

I'm reading--well, often listening--to a lot of books. I'm writing a lot, when I can pull my focus from ahhhhhh-ing. I have written some of the best poems over the past two weeks. One is sentimental, but pointed. And I love it.

I have received surprise mail that lit up my entire stupid heart. I have plans on the calendar, because yes joy and yes having good things to look forward to. It matters, always.

I am grateful for those who brighten up my life and hope to hell I return the favor. Because having people matters. It makes a difference.

So, if things are rough for you right now, know that things won't always be this hard. And that there are folks who adore the fuck out of you.

XOXO

[capricioussun]

I was really thinking about if I would ever be comfortable merging my art accounts and I don't think I will. At least not unless I did a full rebrand which I'd really rather not since I'm very happy with how things are situated now.

But I think it boils down to acceptance seeking. I've been socially isolated for a very long time and it's difficult. Even back when I first started drawing au stuff years ago, I contemplated making a separate blog for it because I knew how many ut fans didn't really like the aus. I didn't want to alienate any of the "audience" I'd already built but I also knew there would be a turning point I would just wind up barely posting on one account or the other and it would feel like trying to limp half the time on one leg and then limp the rest on the other, which would be pointless.

But with mirrorshipping (selfcest) being a much more universally contentious topic, I got worried it would only deter people even more. I certainly didn't want to lie about it, especially bc I don't associate it with prshipping the way some others do, so it's not really that im "ashamed" of it, or want to hide it, just that I know it's the kind of thing that's very likely to make some who just walked in turn right back around.

To some degree, as someone who hopes to one day make a career out of being an independent artist, it makes sense to prioritize "growth" over personal satisfaction, but on the other, I've always struggled to care about that sort of thing. Any time I've cared about "alienating" a potential "audience", it's always been more about personal acceptance. I don't want people to see one little aspect of myself or interests and judge me entirely based off of that, even though that's all anyone really can do on the internet. I don't take blocking personally, despite how the prior sentiment seems to contradict that, I get it, I block all the time too, for a variety of reasons. But if there's a chance there're others who don't really mind that I mirrorship, they just don't want to see it or have to block the tag, I don't want them to feel turned away or annoyed, and so I kept it all to a separate account.

There are a few other reasons I won't really get into, too, like how people often do associate it with prship, and how I don't really want to draw that type of a crowd to my main blog, either, but I know in my heart it's the acceptance/approval seeking that was the biggest motivator.

I really honestly wish I knew how to connect with others beyond just trying to "do things right" and hoping that earns me positive attention. I really wish I didn't always feel like my only chance at affection is to improve what I can offer in return.

[myvirtuesuncounted]

i'm just saying, if i paid several hundred dollars for a ticket to the eras tour, and witnessed a song about how much taylor loves her fans be cut out to make room for a song that hates on them for calling out her racist apologist behaviour (myself being one of them), my ass would NOT be gleefully singing along