#ashe never got it very loud until he killed overlord

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

tlhis is what i was looking for. fun simurgh side effect of madness-inducing tinnitus

[ghozt1ng-blog]

Chapter Six - Playing the Hard Game

Trick’ mother pulled him away from the computer screen and slapped him, saying, “Son, get a grip on yourself! If you want to get Naomi out, then actually think of a way and don’t scream at the computer! Think!”

    Trick huffed and fumed, but he knew his mother was right. It took him some moments to calm down, during which Kyle and Tiffany sat down at the keyboard.

    “Woah there now! We might know what will happen if we press any keys,” Agent Miles warned.

    “But look, they aren’t moving,” Kyle pointed out.

    “They might not be moving from shock,” Mr. Jackson said weakly. “What is going on here?”

    “I am not sure,” Conturbatio said, striding up to the kids. “You say that this a computer game, right?” If so, then we might just have to play to get them out.”

    Kyle got closer up to the screen and observed a little before saying, “This looks like the very first Legend of Zelda game, and if I’m not much mistaken, this should be world seven. I think I should get them a fairy.” He quickly checked their inventories. “Crap, there’s nothing for them to use! I have to avoid all enemies or they are going to get killed! This is going to be hard!”

    “You can do it son! Do it for Brandon,” Kyle’s mother said, almost sobbing.

    Actually, him we can leave, Trick thought with great annoyance and anger.

    Kyle started punching in keys, but only one person started moving. It was Brandon. There was a little bubble, indicating that he was saying something, but they couldn’t read it. Naomi followed after him.

“I wonder if they really are pixelated in that world, or if it looks real to them,” Conturbatio mused out loud.  

Agents Miles punched him hard in the arm.

Moblins! Moblins everywhere!

Naomi wasn’t sure if she was now living every nerd’s favorite fantasy, or the world’s worst meme. It didn’t matter at the moment, because pixelated monsters were throwing 8 bit spears at her and Brandon. Brandon kept screaming that he wasn’t able to move of his own volition. Now if only he couldn’t speak unless he was told to…

She kept looking around for her pointy eared savior, the all around good guy, Link of Hyrule. However, Link was very much MIA at the moment. Naomi was happy that at least she could easily dodge the spears by ducking. They only got thrown at chest level anyway. This 8 bit world had all the restrictions for its characters that one could expect. At least she wasn’t stuck in the original Doom game.

Being sucked through a computer screen had been momentarily traumatizing, but then realizing she was in Legend of Zelda, she quickly got over that. Until Brandon started getting dragged around that was. The guy looked helpless, get dragged by some overlord this way and that, precariously avoiding enemies. She quickly guessed that the people back on earth were controlling him via the keyboard. She was thankful it wasn’t her was was being taken for a test drive.  

She wished at first that it had been Breath of the Wild or Windwaker that she had gotten sucked into. But then again, the enemies in those games were definitely less forgiving, so she guessed she should count her lucky stars. Not that getting sucked into a video game unprepared was lucky! Her thoughts brought her to the multitudinous shows, books, and movies that existed on the premise of getting stuck in a game. If she was lucky, this was going to be like Log Horizon, and not something that Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash or Sword Art Online; if she died, she would come back to life painlessly, and not suffer a terrible death. For crying out loud! Her life wasn’t edgy enough for this! Well, she supposed if she were living Re: Zero she would at least come back….

Best not to dwell on it.

She dodged another spear, and wondered what would happen if she tried catching one out of the air. She couldn’t see a health bar, and decided it was best not to tempt the fates. Crap, now she knew, if only this were Tron! She knew she would totally own this! Plus, it was one of her favorite concepts for a real life to video game story. Though she hoped that living through this didn’t mean she would be recruited by aliens to fight in some galactic war. Wow! She really was a nerd!

Whoever was controlling the wailing Brandon, who by now was screaming for mom and admitting to every sin he’d ever committed, led her to the lake where a fairy could be found. Naomi breathed a sigh of relief. A fairy could really come in handy.

The fairy rose from the water. The surface of the lake rippled softly and the fairy gave a pixelated smile to both of them.

    “Welcome travelers. It is dangerous to go alone. Take this,” she spoke in a beautiful and melodious voice.

    A sword also rose from the depths of the lake, except this sword wasn’t pixelated. Naomi could’ve sworn that she saw some golden writing on it. The fairy shot the sword towards Brandon with a wave of her hand. Naomi jumped out and grabbed it by the hilt in midair.

    She could have sworn that she heard a voice from somewhere else boom something about how cool that was. If it hadn’t been her imagination, and was a real voice, it was drowned out by Brandon’s complaint.

    “If I’m going to get dragged all over the place, at least let me have the sword! I can put it to good use!”

    “Shut up for once, will you. Gawd, this is why you are still woefully single, you realize that right!? Well, that and you, um, potatoness.”

    “Wait! What was that again?”

    “Nothing,” Naomi said airily.

    Brandon continued to whine as she read the words on the sword’s blade. And there it was! Whoso pulleth this sword of this stone and anvil is rightwise king born of all England. The famous words engraved in gold, clear as day. Naomi smiled and shrugged.

    I guess that makes me Queen of England. Set aside Elizabeth! There is a new queen in town, and about damn time, too. Gannon, step aside, because you’re gonna get your butt handed to you by a teenage girl!

    She then stopped and wondered if this Excalibur had all the cool powers that other versions of Excalibur had. Well, there would be only way to find for certain. She charged out of the clearing as Brandon now begged the fairy for something of his own.

    “Do you think that I’m going to give something powerful to someone who can’t even take hold of what is rightfully his,” the fairy scoffed.

    “She caught me off guard! My actions aren’t my own! Please give me another chance! At least let me move around on my own!”

    The fairy just laughed at him and then threw something that Naomi didn’t really see, before she rounded the corner. There was the Moblin, and she cleaved it in two, its body disintegrating into bits. Hey, it even dropped a ruppe! Naomi bent and picked it up and in doing so narrowly avoided a spear to the chest. She rolled to the side and breathed hard as she the Moblin who had done it. Brandon glided over in a resigned fashion.

    “Well, I have a rock now, so that’s a thing… How about we trade Naomi!”

    “Not on your life,” She called to him as she charged the second Moblin and carved him up. “Just sit back and be the damsel in distress!”

    Trick was jumping up and down, nearly knocking Kyle aside as Naomi soared across the screen, killing monsters.

    “Come on Naomi, don’t be an idiot! Play it safe!”

    “I thought you got the Master Sword elsewhere,” Agent Miles said to Conturbatio, who merely shrugged.

    “I have never played these games,” he admitted. “Never had the time, or the drive, honestly.”

    “Your loss,” Tiffany blurted out to him.

    “Kyle, be careful with your brother,” Mrs. Jackson scolded.

        “I’m trying! If someone will get this guy off of me! And I only have a rock to work with! A rock!”

    Agent Brown pulled her son away again and then said to Miles and Conturbatio, “I don’t think that sword is part of the game. Naomi and Brandon look like 8 bit versions of themselves, but not the sword. It looks better animated.”

   “You’re right Susan,” Conturbatio breathed. He was going full Sphinx now, seeing all these weird things happening. “I wonder if that sword is causing this, or if it part of the plan of whoever is behind all of this?”

    There came a tapping at the window, and everyone jumped. Mr. Jackson whirled around and saw the mailman at the glass. He waved at them, but looked disturbed for some reason. Mr Jackson opened the window and asked gruffly what the man wanted.

    “I’m very sorry to bug you sir, but as I was putting in your mail just now, the mailbox started shaking and the flag went up. I had this really bad feeling come over me and everything, but I wanted to make sure everything was okay, so I checked inside the box. Your real mail was missing and there was this note inside.”

    Mr. Jackson took the dirty paper with a strange, broken wax seal on it. Conturbatio went to examine it with him, but Trick just passed it off as more weirdness around the house. He tried to pull closer to the computer screen, where Naomi was kicking some major butt. His mother then yanked him back. Conturbatio then coughed slightly and shoved the paper into Trick's hands.

“What do you make of this,” he asked.

“I don’t know wha-” Trick began, and then he saw what was written.

The note was written in messy and large handwriting. The message seemed really dumb at first, but then Trick saw what made this particularly strange.

Mr. Jackson has no intention of subscribing to National Geographic. Also, he knows that those bills are two months overdue. Please, send out to me some of the people inside. We need to talk.

“How about you and I go and chat with the mailbox,” Conturbatio suggested. “And then maybe Kyle can lead his brother out of certain doom. Don’t worry about Naomi. She is holding her own pretty well.”

Trick felt torn at first, but then sighed as he agreed to go along.

“Just don’t tell her I skipped out again. She might murder me for leaving her along again with that potato.”