#much like the Norwegian blue

[quillyfied]

…It’s been a few years now since I finally sat down and watched all of Monty Python (and all the specials I could get my hands on, though curiously not all the films, idk why), and since it’s become sort of a yearly thing for me to rewatch, and somehow it’s only this morning that it occurs to me the sheer ridiculousness of a parrot being called the Norwegian Blue, because why would there be native parrots, notoriously tropical birds, in Scandinavia?

[queenie-the-court-jester]

It's raining cats and dogs

My cat and dog hybrids, and random things about them! [Not proofread]

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★ Brutus the german shepherd

He's a big boy alright. A startling 6'6 frame, but that doesn't stop him from acting like a little bastard. He's playful and cocky, a little protective but that's just in his instincts to protect his little herd! In his physical appearance, He's starting to grow out his buzz cut, a pair of German shepherd ears ontop. he's hoping to maybe dye a couple strands of hair blond once they're long enough. green eyes that stare into your soul, absolutely no thought process behind them

★ dolly the doberman

Everyone loves dolly. There used to be another doberman named Danny but they sent him to the pound when he bit both the farmer and his granddaughter. She used to have puppies with Danny but they didn't survive the winter, they got sick and passed the coming spring. She's a little rough around the edges but you'll love her too right? Don't let Brutus hog all the love! In her physical appearance, she has very short brown hair and a pair or doberman ears, with one of them being a little bit, ontop of her head. 5'7 with a deadly brown eyed stare.

★ bladviba the black Russian terrier

A messy mop of brown curls he calls hair sits atop his head. He's usually out in the fields observing the cattle, black eyes staring out Into the distance. The others say he used to be a fisherman's dog but then he had to find a new home since he passed away one night. Stoic and serious, he's secretly a 5'8 softie who wants to hide and cuddle you somewhere. But that bastard Brutus would probably find you in less than an hour.

★ molly the chow chow

molly may be the smallest out of all them, but that doesn't mean she won't let them do all the work. Usually she's trailing behind dolly, claiming that since their names are similar they have to stick close together. She has a short temper and a little brutish, but you'll get used to her. Spiky short brown hair, with dark black eyes that sparkle when she sees you. A 5'2 sweetheart- wait who gave molly a knife-

★ sweet pea the Samoyed

Sweet pea loves many things! You, bones, their house, sleep. Okay maybe not many things but atleast some things! Usually quiet and following you from behind, they quietly take up the role of your 6'1 guard dog. Helping you around the barn, and in exchange all you have to do is let them scent you for another 2 hours every 4 hours! Dirty white hair, with black eyes as dark as charcoal.

★ bubba the borzoi

Bubba is so fucking done with both you and the others. Can you stop fucking singing 'let me do it for you' like shut up he's trying to do his job here. He refuses to let you see the slightest smile but just know he is smiling. He's just stubborn. Like VERY stubborn. Sarcastic and empathetic, a deadly combo. He could be comforting you and then calling you a blubbering fool the next. 6/10, would bite my ass. He's a startling 6'11, with blue eyes and light blonde hair

★ princess the ragdoll

Name the most spoiled housecat who ever lived. She lives up to her name, she's been in many beauty pageants and won a many prizes. Ribbons, trophies, photographs all align the walls of her room. She'll give you a side eyed look before making you go through a 600 step beauty routine, before ever allowing you to touch her. Atleast she'll cuddle you for hours on end, so the torture was worth it all. King is the only person she respects, aside from her owners. White long curly hair, blue eyes and 5'5

★ prince the Norwegian forest cat

He's the most humble cat ever known, all he really wants is to settle down, have a couple litters, and be a good dad. But princess hated his guts and quite frankly, he hated her. He much preferred you, he wondered how you'd look with a belly full of his kits.. he'll respect your wishes, but don't mind him breaking into your room every now and then. (He leaves hair everywhere, don't let him.) Ginger fluffy hair, green eyes and 5'7

★ king the Khao manee

King could either be planning your downfall or planning the entire family you'll have together. The greatest manipulator ever known to cat kind. He could convince you orange is red and red is blue if you let him (don't let him), he manipulates princess to do things for him but now that you're here, you won't mind taking over now will you? Sandy blonde hair with heterochromiac eyes. 5'6

Bonus: the forest pack ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- ︶︶︶︶༉‧

★ Roxy the wolf

butch werewolf? Butch werewolf. She's stoic and quiet, but she's just a gentle giant. Following her brothers around, she's very obedient and surprisingly, loves gardening! Long Spiky black hair, red eyes and 6'7

★ Silas the wolf

Silas is the leader, commanding his siblings when to act and when to fall behind. But he just wants a break and to lay down, take a nice long nap. Until one of his siblings comes running to him for help. Oh well, he had a nice sleep. He loves them, he truly does, but he wants a nap in peace. Very short spiky black hair, red eyes, 6'9

★ Milo the wolf

Milo is selectively mute. With a deadpan look always on their face and they seem emotionless, but that's not the case. They're just always distracted and can't really focus on many things. Be a little patient will you? Medium long spiky black hair, red eyes, 6'6

★ Kiki the Pomeranian

Kiki is some dog hybrid they found off the road and decided they're one of them. Feral and has a big dog complex. Tries to be intimidating but they just aren't. Sometimes they watch you work on the farm from the edge of the forest, a little jealous of the animals that get to watch you everyday. Messy blonde hair, black eyes that hold the anger of a toddler being forced into A school play, and very short. 4'9

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[theuntoldstorythatneedsawriter]

Lost in Translation 🇳🇴📰

Ingrid Engen x reader

warning : fluffy 💭💗

summary :

In your cozy Barcelona apartment, you and Ingrid sit down for a Norwegian lesson. In hopes to help you prepare for your upcoming trip to Norway and making you feel more confident about meeting her family.

Ingrid sat at the small round kitchen table, sunlight pouring in through the large windows of your cozy apartment in Barcelona. Her long hair was tied into a loose bun, her focus completely on the cup of coffee in her hand. Across from her, you sat fingers tapping lightly on the notebook in front of you.

"Okay," you started, flipping to a new page, "I’m ready. Teach me some more Norwegian."

Ingrid chuckled softly, setting down her coffee. "You’re so determined, I love it."

You had been trying to learn Norwegian for weeks now, ever since Ingrid had playfully teased you for only knowing how to say "jeg elsker deg" (i love you) which, to be fair, was a solid start. But you wanted more. After all, Ingrid had worked so hard to learn English when she moved abroad for football, and you felt like it was time to return the effort.

"Let’s start with something simple today," Ingrid suggested. "How about we go over some common phrases?"

You nodded eagerly, holding your pen above the notebook, ready to jot down every word. Ingrid smiled, her blue eyes sparkling with affection as she watched you.

"Alright, how do you say 'good morning' again?" she asked, knowing you'd already learned this one.

"God morgen," you said confidently.

"Very good! Now, if I wanted to say 'have a nice day,' I’d say...?"

"Um…" You hesitated, wrinkling your nose as you tried to remember. Ingrid leaned in, her voice soft as she gave you a hint.

"Ha… en…"

"Ha en fin dag!" you exclaimed, finally remembering.

"Perfect!" Ingrid grinned. "You’re getting the hang of it. Soon you'll be fluent."

You laughed, shaking your head. "I wouldn’t go that far, but I’m trying."

Ingrid leaned across the table, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "You’re doing amazing. But, maybe we should add some more useful phrases? What would you say if you were visiting Norway with me?"

"Like, asking for directions?" you asked, scribbling the new idea into your notebook.

"Exactly," she replied. "Let’s say you’re lost and need to ask someone where the train station is. You would say, "Unnskyld, hvor er togstasjonen?""

"Wait… "Unnskyld"? That means 'excuse me,' right?"

"Exactly." Ingrid beamed. "Then "hvor er" means 'where is,' and "togstasjonen" is the train station."

You repeated the phrase a couple of times, trying to wrap your tongue around the unfamiliar sounds. Ingrid watched, her expression softening as she saw the way you furrowed your brows in concentration.

"It sounds so much better when you say it," you mumbled, embarrassed at your attempt.

Ingrid laughed lightly, reaching across the table to take your hand. "You’re being too hard on yourself. I love hearing you speak Norwegian. It’s cute."

You rolled your eyes playfully, but your heart swelled at her words. "Alright, what else should I learn?"

Ingrid tilted her head thoughtfully before a mischievous smile crept across her lips. "How about some romantic phrases? For example, "Du er vakker"."

You blinked, looking at her suspiciously. "Okay, I’m going to assume that’s something nice, but I’m not sure."

"It means, 'You are beautiful,'" Ingrid said softly, her gaze locking with yours.

Your cheeks flushed, and you glanced away for a moment, suddenly flustered. "You say that all the time, but now it’s even sweeter knowing what it actually means."

Ingrid chuckled, standing up from her seat and walking over to you. She wrapped her arms around your shoulders from behind, her chin resting on the top of your head as she whispered, "Jeg elsker deg."

You smiled, feeling the warmth of her body against yours. "I know that one," you said, your voice teasing. "I love you too."

She kissed the top of your head gently before sitting back down. "You’re getting there, love. Soon, you’ll be able to speak with my family when we go to Norway for Christmas."

"Yeah, about that," you said, your tone turning a bit nervous. "What if I completely embarrass myself?"

Ingrid shook her head, her expression turning serious, but still filled with love. "You won’t. Trust me, they’re going to adore you no matter how much Norwegian you know. They’ll probably be impressed you’re learning at all."

You sighed, feeling a bit reassured. "I just want to be able to talk to them without you having to translate everything."

Ingrid smiled gently, reaching across the table to hold your hand again. "You’re already doing more than enough. And besides, we’ll be together. That’s what matters, right?"

You nodded, your worries slowly melting away as you gazed into her eyes. "Right."

A comfortable silence fell over the room, only the sound of birds chirping from outside filling the air. Then, after a moment, you cleared your throat and asked, "Okay, serious question though: how do I ask for more cake in Norwegian?"

Ingrid burst out laughing, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "Oh, I should’ve known you’d want to learn that. It’s "Kan jeg få mer kake?""

You repeated the phrase a few times, testing it out, before grinning. "Perfect. Now I’m ready for Norway."

Ingrid laughed again, her face lighting up with joy. "I think you’re going to do just fine."

You knew you wouldn’t be fluent by the time you went to Norway with Ingrid, but with her by your side, you felt like you could take on anything. And if all else failed, at least you knew how to ask for more cake.

[ghost-bison]

i became curious and searched up how the name "dalek" came to be:

at first, i thought it must have something to do with the norwegian word "dårlig", which means "bad", because of the doctor's reaction in 2x13 "doomsday" when rose said they were in bad wolf bay ("dårlig ulv stranden" if i'm not mistaken): he thought she'd said "dalek". but if you look up the pronunciation, it sounds more like /dɔːleh/ (approximate english phonetic transcription) than how she said it, /dɑːlɪg/ so i thought, even though the mix-up between "dårlig" and "dalek" was done on purpose and the definition, "bad", would be pretty damn on-the-nose, it's not it. so i did some more research.

apparently, it was terry nation (the guy who invented the daleks and davros in, i guess, 1962) who came up with it. according to him, the name simply "rolled off his typewriter", so it wasn't supposed to mean anything. but like me, he got curious and found out that the word "dalek" is serbo-croatian for "far, distant".

this really pleased me for two separate reasons: first, and this is the most obvious interpretation, the daleks are aliens from a distant world, far from earth. but i mean, to daleks or chelonians or raxacoricofallapatorians or any other alien species, the same can be said for earthlings: we are far, distant from them, and any and all species are far and distant from us.

but! if you think of the other meaning behind "distant", not geographically speaking but culturally/morally speaking, that's when things get interesting: the reason the daleks are the main foe in doctor who is that they are detached, so different from any and every other enemy the doctor and unit and torchwood and the shadow proclamation and such have ever had to fight. they keep surviving and coming back because they are so distant, so alien (in the "bizarre" sense of the word) to all other species.

if you take, for example, us humans, the doctor loves our species because of our capacity for love, forgiveness, change, compassion. you see it in the people he picks: rose, martha, then donna, etc. they represent everything he loves in a human being. everything he needs, everything he misses since his own species, which used to be capable of those feelings too, has gone.

he doesn't pick soldiers and has an aversion toward them, because as much as he pretends to hate it when his companions "wander off", he keeps choosing people whom he knows will wander off, people who will question his orders, people whom he doesn't have to feel or be superior to. whereas soldiers, they are conditioned not to question, and to follow instructions, to do as they are told.

in 1x06 "dalek", when nine realizes that the dalek's gun isn't working, he says "if you can't kill, then what are you good for, dalek? what's the point of you?". then, the dalek tells the doctor, "i am a soldier, i was bred to receive orders".

soldiers, whatever species they are, are too much like daleks: they wouldn't question him. that's why, when he realized he was the last of his species, the dalek turned to the doctor, his greatest enemy ("then what should i do?"), and then rose ("order me to die"), for orders. that's why twelve refused to keep journey blue as his traveling companion in 8x02 "into the dalek": people who don't question orders are dangerous to his lifestyle.

he needs people who go against what he says. not only that, but the doctor is, himself, a soldier of sorts, and sometimes he needs the right orders (1x06 "dalek": "what the hell are you changing into, doctor?" -rose ; "the runaway bride": "doctor, you can stop now"/"sometimes i think you need someone to stop you" -donna ; 4x02 "the fires of pompeii": "not the whole town, just save someone" -donna). else caecilius' family would have died in pompeii. else the doctor would use guns, he would die, he would try to break fixed points in time, he would lose himself.

in that sense, the daleks are as far from the doctor and his children of time as can be. i wrote about it somewhere in a one-shot someday: "the daleks weren’t robots, per se, but they kind of were, for someone like the doctor, or the humans, who both felt everything so deeply when all those monsters knew was hatred".

the daleks are to the doctor what dependence and servitude are to freedom, and in that sense, they are distant.

[devildomwriter]

First of all i LOVEE your cat art <33 i love cats and obey me so seeing your art always makes my day a little better

i was just wondering what cat breed do you think each character would be?

I’m so glad you asked! I’ve been meaning to say something about it for a while now :D also thank you so much I’m so glad you like it. Cartoon style Cats are the one thing I can draw.

Lucifer is a Bombay cat. They are always black, a good family cat but with a wild side and they are muscular but not stocky. I think it fits him well.

Mammon is a Bengal cat. They are among the most hyper and extroverted cats and not typically aggressive.

Leviathan is a Russian Blue. They are calm and curious and among the shyest of cats but once they’re comfortable with you, they’re friendly and playful.

Satan is a rare male Calico. They are fiery, assertive, and independent. Perfect for Satan. I also think having many colors represents his love of many different cats despite their appearance.

Asmodeus is a Turkish Angora. These cats are beautiful and very affectionate and intelligent. They tend to bind and become protective of one person and are good with kids. (Asmo is canonically good with kids too.)

Beelzebub is an (Orange) Maincoon. These cats are not only giant but extremely friendly, calm, and gentle. They get along well with most everyone.

Belphegor is a Scottish Fold. These cats sleep a lot and are very cuddly, friendly, and even tempered.

Solomon is an Egyptian May. These cats are curious, and playful. They are affectionate and friendly but typically bond to just one person and are standoffish to strangers.

Thirteen is a Singapura. These cats are curious, extroverted, and energetic. As small cats they tend to be more aggressive to anything they deem a threat.

Simeon is a Siamese. These cats are beautiful, talkative, and very affectionate. They also have jealous tendencies.

Raphael is a Burmese. These cats are very active, affectionate and loving. But when it comes to other cats they must be properly socialized and slowly introduced. I feel like that matches Raphael’s lack of social skills pretty well.

Luke is a Munchkin cat. These cats are very outgoing and active and love playing with their families. They don’t seem to realize they’re smaller and act as any cat would.

Michael is a Sphinx. These cats are very talkative, high maintenance, and very friendly but if they need to be can be aggressive as well. I feel like this fits what we know about Michael.

Mephistopheles is a Persian. These cats are high maintenance and expensive but gentle and sweet to their family but cautious of strangers. I feel like Mephistopheles wealth and dislike of strangers fits pretty well with this cat.

Barbatos is a Tuxedo. These cats get along well with everyone and stick close to their human but aren’t lap cats. They’re also very smart and affectionate.

Diavolo is a Norwegian Forest Cat. These giant cats are playful, friendly, and get along with most everyone and are very intelligent.

[theverynothumankai]

I n T r O d U c T i O n P o S t

I’m Kai, also called Malakai. This is my blog for all things Nonhuman. Come join my little side of tumblr. <3

I’m a Polytherian, Polykin, Polylink, Otherfix, Otherhearted, and Fictionflicker/Otherflicker.

Theriotypes: Vancouver Coastal Sea Wolf (also known as Coastal Wolf and Vancouver Island Wolf); Canada Lynx; Red Fox; Nurse Shark; Snow Leopard; Maned Wolf; Norwegian Forest Cat; Coyote; Side-Striped Jackal; Dhole. Kintypes: Dragon (SeaWing/SilkWing Hybrid); Dragon (Night-Light Fury Hybrid); Dark Fey (Forest Type, from Maleficent); Avian (winged humans with tails); Raccoon (gold winged and gold horned); Silver Fox (with big crow-like/themed wings); Angel (shape-shifting, three pairs of wings, comforter of those who are lost). Hearttypes: Whale Shark. Flickertypes: Hylian (from TOTK/BOTW); Orphinki (OC species); Sable; Owl (all). Questioning: Ocelot Theriotype; Manta Ray Theriotype; Orca Whale Theriotype; Maine Coon Cat Theriotype; Jumping Spider Theriotype or Hearttype; Pallas Cat Theriotype; Manta Ray Kintype; Siren Kintype; Dragon Kintype (feathered wings); Mosasaur Theriotype; Blue Whale Theriotype; (Baby) Bongo Theriotype; Kirk’s Dik Dik Theriotype.

More Info On My ‘Types Here.

I’m a PseudoHuman, which means I may appear to be human, but am not.

I’m SunNonhuman, which means my nonhumanity is integrated into my baseline personality. It does not prevent me from having minor fluctuations of mood that feel slightly more animal or slightly less animal. I do not experience mental shifts to my nonhuman types.  I’m Transspecies (more specifically Humanfluid) and Voidpunk, which means I identify as another species (and more specifically have a fluctuating connection to my humanity), and that I’m reclaiming the dehumanization and demonization that I face in the marginalized minorities I’m in, basically I’m reclaiming dehumanization and fully embracing inhumanity/nonhumanity.

I’m Physical Nonhuman, in the way that since I am my ‘types, so is my body (although, I am aware that my body is technically human/human-presenting).

I’m a CladoNonhuman, specifically with my Owl Flickertype. I am all owls, not just one or a few, although I am more so connected to a couple specific species rather than equally to all. My Owl Flickertype comes and goes, it’s been gone for a while but it’s coming back again, and I have no doubt that that will happen again.

My Otherfix identity influences my nonhuman identity overall, by the way! So, a lot of my theriotypes and kintypes are due to hyperfixations (although, remember, they are involuntary and permanent for me!), and then a lot of my flickertypes have been due to hyperfixations (once again, involuntary and the flickertypes come and go).

The reasons/origins of my Nonhumanity is due to a combination of Past Lives, Fate, and Neurodivergency. I believe I was all my ‘types in past lives, and that I only found out about being these things in this life due to my neurodivergency.

I fluctuate between Nonhuman and Human, although am always on some level both, just other times are stronger for one and the other not so much, but overall I mostly refer to myself as just Nonhuman. My soul is a combination of all my ‘types, plus the intruding human soul of this life.

Please only refer to me as Nonhuman and Alterbeing, NOT as Human or Alterhuman.

I do not experience phantom shifts or any sort of shifts, but when I have in the past, it has only been once, very short (a few seconds), and partial. I experience loads of species dysphoria, envy, and sometimes euphoria, though.

I only have very poor gear, two homemade tails, and one mask, and am also currently working on wings. I’m hoping to get more materials to make better masks and tails for myself soon, though.

I do very poor quadrobics, but I adore doing them, especially when I can in public.

Fellow Physical Nonhumans/Alterbeings/Alterhumans, Non-Spiritual Nonhumans/Alterbeings/Alterhumans, and etc. are very welcome here.

I’m very queer. My gender is way too complex, but just imagine it as masculine, genderless, and animalistic, with lots of different aesthetics.

I use He/It/Rot/Void/Mutt/Pup/Teeth/Woof/Bone/Claw/Plant/🐾/🐺/🦝/🌿 pronouns + many more with those themes.

I’m AroAce, Aromantic and Myrsexual (Neuroasexual, Nebulasexual, Merosexual, Placiosexual, Dreadsexual, Acorsexual, Apothisexual, Bellussexual, Rosesexual, Requisexual, and Falsaesthsexual).

I’m Homoalterous (Gay/MLM), Omniqueerplatonic (preference for non-men), Panexteramo, Pansensual, and Panaesthetic.

I’m Ambiamorous with no preference. I’m heavy T4T-leaning. I’m also a Lesboy.

I’m undiagnosed/self-diagnosed (with research)(in the process of getting this all diagnosed) AuDHD, Pure O OCD, APD, SPD, RSD, BDD, ARFID, SAD, PTSD, Trichotillomania, Misophonia, and Dermatillomania.

I’m diagnosed MDD and GAD.

I’m undiagnosed (and in the process of getting it diagnosed as well) PMDD and/or PME.

SH and SI survivor, and in recovery.

I struggle with severe violent and ugly intrusive thoughts (due to my OCD), and have for years. Not as bad as it used to be, but still have some at least once a day.

I consider myself disabled due to my severe executive dysfunction that I’ve had for years, as well as for other reasons.

I also have severe imposter syndrome that I deal with 24/7.

I have special interests (Wings Of Fire, Harry Potter (I really love the marauders), Dragons, and Neurodivergency + Disabilities + Disorders), hyperfixations (current ones are nonhumanity and nonhuman gear), verbal shutdowns, shutdowns and meltdowns, am often in burnout, and mask quite a lot.

I’m in therapy, go every week, and love my therapist so much. /gen

Please use tone tags/indicators when talking to me. They are greatly helpful and appreciated. Thank you!

I’m taken by my lovely long distance mate, @itssiryapsalot @theremixedcreature.

I’m a minor (16-years-old).

I’m Agnostic, spiritual, and do not follow any God or Gods. I believe in past lives, fate, soulmates, twin flames, manifestation, the multiverse, the paranormal, witchcraft, and much more.

I’m a Reality Shifter and have shifted twice to parallel realities. (I’m a safe places for permashifters, respawners, and those who shift to realities where they’re a different race.)

I have one sibling (She/Her), @belles17 @fuckthisclubup. I love her loads, and yes, she is aware that I’m Nonhuman (and is totally chill with it).

My other Nonhuman accounts are: @sirius-the-lonely-angel and @malakaitheyappingwolf.

My Nonhuman Pinterest account is here.

More about me here.

I don’t feel like making a DNI, but my block button is my best friend, so get ready. Obviously, no anti-alterhumans, anti-furries, queerphobes, radqueers and radfems, TERFs, SWERFs, offending MAPs & Paraphiles & etc., sexists, racists, ableists (including those believe in “narcissistic abuse”), and etc. are allowed here. Also, those who are endo/non-traumagenic/etc. systems are safe here, so those against them can leave please.

Full credit to the original creators/owners of the dividers!!!

[jawz]

i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the way my ethnicity affected the way i was gendered as a child, my drive to transition, and even my detransition…

as a hispanic growing up with my white mom and white stepdad and white brother and white extended family in scandinavian hell (minnesota), i always felt different, always felt wrong. (my parents divorced as a baby, and my dad and his family, cuban and italian, all live in florida.) my neighborhood wasn’t so bad; it was way more diverse than the metro area itself. growing up i had mixed friends, i had friends with curly hair… but us trailer park kids were only a fraction of the population of our schools and district. a sea of blonde hair. there were times in elementary school i would literally pray to god to make my hair straight, make my eyes blue. grown-ups touched my hair and always asked “is it naturally curly?”. my classmates urged me to straighten it and by age 13 it was part of my ridiculously time-consuming “feminizing” beauty rituals.

much earlier, by the age of 8 or 9, i already had thick, dark hair growing on my legs. other kids, boys and girls alike, called me “gorilla girl”, faked gagging when i wore shorts, insisted i was actually a boy. that one became more and more common as i came into my personality: bold, class clown, competitive with the boys. (always wanting to charm the girls, but i didn’t recognize that back then.)

my mustache was there by 8, as well. just a little peach fuzz above my lip but dark enough to notice. are you even a girl? my mom would spread wax over her own face and soon began waxing my stache as well. it hurt so badly. i put up with it because she said it would make the kids stop teasing me. of course i was a girl- she was a woman and she had peach fuzz too!… but i felt self-conscious at the fact that my body hair was so much more noticeable, even as a child. my mother’s hair is very thin, straight, lighter brown; her complexion is warmer than mine, pink where mine is olive, green and yellow. i worried you could see the strands about to burst through. i was worried that to be a girl- a woman- i must hide parts of myself every day. i must cover the shoots of grass, the weeds that reveal that i’m not fit for society, that whisper i’m wild and untamed.

it wasn’t actually until i was 18 at least that i actually started to consider myself latino. i had sometimes said ‘hispanic’ growing up, as that’s what my family in florida called themselves; they referred to themselves as “spanish”, which i found out was not quite true after compiling my family tree and discovering that those ancestors emigrated from havana. in their minds they were white: “descended from spanish royalty” (as if!!)… i had spent my youth constantly trying to claim solely whiteness, confused as to why everyone was asking me “are you mexican?” “are you jewish?” “are you middle eastern?” - even though inside i think i knew. i knew my family didn’t look like me. i resented my surname being changed to Lind when i was five, my stepdad’s name, in order to give me the same name as the rest of them. despite my apparent envy of swedes and norwegians i knew it wasn’t my name; i still stood out terribly. i glared at myself in the mirror every day, i never could move past how the kids at school said my eyes were the color of shit, that my hair looked like pubes, that i must have had a sex change without being told because that would explain the mustache, the aggression…

by the time i was fourteen i was entirely primed to accept an alternative explanation to what was “wrong” with me. my sexuality was becoming more and more apparent but before i could ever come out as lesbian or even bi, i had discovered what it meant to be trans. i was so immediately certain that this was the key, THIS was why everyone said i didn’t fit in, THIS was why my behavior wasn’t girly, THIS was why i wanted to date girls. it was 2011, still deep in the “brain sex” era of the trans community, and i was sure without a shadow of a doubt that i was physically female, mentally male. all that needed to be done was to “correct” my body and bring it in line with my brain. despite the fact that very few people knew what transition actually was back then, i genuinely assumed it would make sense to everyone else, too: they had told me i wasn’t ‘really’ a girl so many times i had no trouble believing it.

transition, of course, did not suddenly de-latinize me LOL. first i became a total Other, outside of both the minnesotan ethnic norms and the gender+sex norms; eventually, with hormones and surgery at a very young age, i was able to pass as a boy, but by the time i could grow actual full-on facial hair, i realized i was still the pan-latin american enigma to people around me. multiple times someone would call me “sanchez” as some sort of attempted insult or joke. police looked at me differently than they had before. shop owners followed me, accused me of shoplifting. and sometimes, the white girls i dated told me that i was way cooler than all the boring white boys they knew. one girl even called me “exotic” to my face. it was, apparently, a compliment.

when i was 21 i heard that my girlfriend had referred to me to others as “a POC who identifies as white”. it felt as though she didn’t even know me at all. i’d never claimed either of those things to her.

moving to the west coast (socal specifically, where being latino/a is not considered ‘abnormal’) illuminated a lot of the bizarre and unnatural racial expectations of my midwest upbringing; i think by this point i was beginning to realize what so many things from my childhood had meant. that they weren’t really saying i was a boy. they were saying we don’t like girls who look like you, and we’d rather not have you included in our category.

it took me another three years to fully reckon with this. by the time i decided to detransition i had a much better understanding of the circumstances of my life; conversations with close friends who are also latina and have walked similar paths to me, heard similar insults, similar “compliments”, opened my eyes to the fact that i was not alone. i no longer feel weird for thinking the race/ethnicity boxes on government forms are hopelessly reductive. i know who i am and who i am not.

(around this time, i happened upon some old pictures of my dad’s side of the family. beautiful and glamorous women: adela, my uncle’s mother, the piano player; melanie, my aunt, the wife, hostess, and addict; lauren and andrea, my cousins, the restauranteurs; stella, my dad’s mamma, the widow and matriarch. and on all their faces, thick dark eyebrows, and, yes, that ever-familiar peach fuzz. i swear it healed something in my soul. despite my lack of beauty and glamor, we are not so different after all.)

that’s not to say all things are easy now. i’ve spent three years living as a GNC woman and if that wasn’t enough to confirm most all of my hypotheses on people’s perceptions of me, i don’t know what is.

detrans spaces (like most trans spaces) are overwhelmingly white- or at least that’s who dominates conversation. i see SO much downplaying of the things that naturally hairy women go through societally. i see trans allies who purport to be “okay” with detransitioners, saying “what’s the big deal? if you took testosterone you can just go off it and get laser hair removal!! :)” as if laser isn’t expensive as hell, painful as hell, and also WAY more of a process for a woman with dark curly hair than it is for one with straight blonde hair lmfao!!! i see detrans women obsessed with removing all traces of hair from their bodies (even though most of them clearly don’t have a neverending five o’clock shadow like some of us do! my lower face has a constant blue-green disturbance under the surface which makes female spaces incredibly daunting) and insulting the rest of us for being ugly and hairy and making no effort to look like women or what the fuck ever. basically, a lot of people who claim to support us are just racists and essentialists and believe that sex is visual and not biological…🤨

anyway… i guess my main takeaways from all this are:

1. please stop acting like detransition is an entirely internal process and that it’s easy for all of us to be seen as our sex again (some of us like. actually transitioned and passed as the opposite sex), or that potential physical interventions aren’t incredibly invasive and difficult

2. stop assuming all transition and detransition journeys follow your own experience of lifelong whiteness and hairlessness

3. it is a distinct experience to be regularly de-gendered or denied your sex, PRIOR to ever thinking of yourself as literally trans. many trans/detrans people had this happen to us (we were once the vast majority of trans people). but many did not, and generally shock others when they begun breaking gender norms. i really think people from the second group often have trouble understanding that for the first group, changing gender expression is basically a bandaid over an abscess… we have lived entire lifetimes being denied our sex, being told our bodies are not “truly” ours, that there is someone else inside trying to break out. kicked out of the bathroom, the changing room, alienated from single-sex peer groups. transition just flips this experience and instead separates us from our preferred gender group, reinforcing the feeling that we have no place, anywhere.

race/ethnicity, being homosexual or bisexual, mental illness stigma, disability, and low economic class all play an additional role in this. stop perpetuating this and denying us our biological sex.

[cursedcatvibes]

WORLD RECORD!

re4r!incel roommate leon x roommate reader

word count: 3.6k

summary: Incel leon who thinks he’s above women and thinks he’s an alpha male. he’s an absolute piece of shit too.

tags/warnings: 18+ minors DNI! Smut, many many mentions of misogyny. He literally can’t find the clit. P in V, he wrapped it before he tapped it! Incel 😧. quick mention of abuse but it’s not super relevant to the plot. not proofread!

a/n: not much to say other than i cringed so bad trying to write leon’s character, but i was committed, i looked through incel forums on reddit and even got chronically online real quick. also i’m on vacation! so i’m not able to write as much as I want! :( i’ll probably post small drabbles but i will most likely have another full story up in a month considering I cranked out a whole 7k page fic and then now a 3k one. DONT QUOTE ME! Also maybe agent leon x agent reader next. @gettingsilly (my sweetheart who was so hyped about this! here you go my love!)

songs:

pussy - rammstein (highly recommend them)

behind blue eyes - limp bizkit (fun fact; this was the og title of the story!)

rape me - nirvana (this was going to be a non con but i changed my mind)

norwegian wood - the beatles (literally burns the woman’s house down cause she don’t want him😭)

happy reading!

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

Handsome. Is the first thing that came to mind when you first opened the door to greet your new roommate, Leon. 

-

The rent was getting out of hand these days and you figured it was a way better deal to split the rent instead of living paycheck to paycheck damn near.

The only downside were the horror stories about roommates and even just random strangers too. It made you feel a bit queasy, but what else could you do, a recently single woman and at the ripe age of 25, technically you were in your prime for all types of creeps and weirdos to try and pull something, especially if you live alone.

So you bit the bullet and put up a craigslist ad, putting it at the back of your mind for now while you went back to getting rid of your ex-boyfriend's belongings. 

You only remembered about it when someone responded to it and after a few messages back and forth you gave the address to him and told him he could move in tomorrow. Feeling a bit proud of yourself for even being able to organize such an arrangement.

-

The first thing you noticed was how absolutely built he was, he definitely went to the gym and it made you feel a little insecure for a brief moment, before you stepped to the side to allow him to enter. “Welcome to your new home!” You beamed, happy with what you’ve done to the place. Completely missing the way his eyes ran up and down your body lewdly. 

He only wanted to have a girl roommate because he figured she would give it up easily or at least flaunt her body off to him, much to his dismay you were wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, not a single ounce of skin showing where he could sculpt your body out. “Prude.” Is what ran through his mind.

“Thanks.” He replied stiffly. “Where is my room at?” Leon asked as he looked around, he was kinda pissed off you didn’t show him any goods. He hated girls who didn’t show off their body, but he hated girls who showed off too much, thought they were just whores looking to get some attention.

So what if he catcalled them? Obviously they were dressing like that for attention and got all pissy when he gave them that attention.

You were oblivious to Leon’s degrading thoughts, too focused on trying to make sure he didn’t try to kidnap or murder you. When he spoke about where he would be staying you perked up and showed him the room while also giving a quick tour of the apartment.

You were even sweet enough to help him unpack all his things once they were all brought in! He owned some interesting objects, a bit uncomfortable to watch him unpack as he had a whole box dedicated to just sex toys. Fake pair of tits that were way too big to even be comfortable on a woman, fake mouth, fake ass, and multiple fake pussy’s. That wasn’t even the worst part of it. 

It got all too freaky when he pulled out hentai figurines that had little to no clothes on, all in lewd poses with lewd expressions on their faces, more specifically ahegao. You could feel the initial attraction from him sizzle down to a mere speck of a flame.

How could someone just own all this stuff so casually, flaunting it like it was a toy race car collection? But Leon didn’t care, fictional cat women were so much better than real women. They couldn't reject him or deny him sex. (Because they quite literally couldn’t, they're inanimate figures.)

He had the straightest deadpan expression on his face and you got the heebie jeebies thinking about what he could’ve possibly done with all these weird toys.”So,” You cleared your throat awkwardly, suddenly feeling like every object of his you touched was just icky. “Where did you say you lived before this?” You asked curiously.

Leon glanced over at you, wondering if you were gonna pull your hoodie off and finally show him your tits if he answered all your questions, he was growing frustrated. Dammit woman! Show him something! He thinks this is the longest he had gone without jerking off or watching a porno. If you weren’t gonna entertain him sexually why were you still bothering him?

“My mom’s. She said something about me needing to move out because I'm too old.” He grumbled out, this gave you a major ick, didn’t this guy say he was 27? He wasn’t struggling to get money when clearly he can afford expensive sex toys and other items. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” You replied quietly, to which Leon grunted in acknowledgment.

Once you finished the box you were unpacking you decided the best course of action was to just walk away from this conversation. “It seems like you can handle the rest on your own, I don’t really wanna break any of your computer monitors and stuff.” You said as you stood up from the floor and brushed your hands against your pants.

 “Okay.” Leon hummed, disinterested in  conversation. All he really wanted to do was hurry up and set his computer up so he could jerk off in peace. You leaving his room was a bonus. He didn’t want to be downright rude and kick you out, after all, he is totally a nice guy. Plus he got the opportunity to stare at your ass as you walked out, he could see it jiggling underneath your sweats which was enough to rile him up.

-

You wish you could say it improved from there but unfortunately it did not at all. It only seemed to worsen. Like who the hell is watching porn from the moment they wake up to the moment they fall asleep. It’s all just yucky. The loud and over exaggerated moans that were definitely done for performance and not real. 

The only time Leon would leave his room was to eat or grab some water, he always looked so dazed too, it made you wonder what he was doing in there, you’ve never seen him go to work so it made you curious. 

Leon on the other hand was always so dazed or flustered in the face from the amount of jerking off he does all day. He once ran his dick dry enough to start cumming clear, rubbing himself raw damn near. It’s not like he tried not to get laid, he definitely did. But it never worked.

The way he carried himself was creepy, flaunting the fact he was a nice guy who could give a girl a good time. News flash! If you have to say you’re a nice guy, you're definitely not. Girls often avoided him in middle school and that followed him throughout highschool and even college. So he naturally drifted towards animated women.

He was hot but his personality quite literally sucked, it's like he would attract women because of his looks and as soon as he started speaking they lost interest. But you? You still greeted him every time he came out of his room with a polite smile on your face, offering to cook him something but he always declined because the mere thought of having a woman do something trivial such as cook for him like a traditional woman should, made him hard on the spot.

He had the normal views on life, such as all men do. Women are baby makers, they belong in the kitchen, they should treat their man like a king. It’s not like anyone could change his opinion either. He’s so far into the rabbit hole that his other incels praise him like he was a god, thus only further bursting his massive ego. 

-

You didn’t think much of Leon, not in a harsh way, you just didn’t really know that much about him because you two never spoke like that. All you did know was that he watched porn, maybe a bit too much that was considered normal. It's not like you're shaming him because you watch porn too, but you have some decency, a bit of dignity and pride.

Yet your opinion of him instantly sours when one day he comes out of his room, which reeked with the smell of cum and sweat, the room was humid too, which confused you when you first noticed it. He wore an angry expression on his face as he stomped, yes, like a toddler would, towards the fridge to guzzle down a can of soda. 

You, sitting on the couch mindlessly scrolling through your phone waiting for the time to pass on your off day, you planned to go to a club and slut yourself out to help remind yourself that you’re in fact hot and your ex missed out. Yet when he slammed the fridge door closed that caught your attention, perking your head up like a puppy.

“Uh, you alright?” You asked aloud, watching his eyes snap towards you with a frustrated huff. He figured if you put up with him this long then you must see the same misogynistic views he does about women. “No!” He scoffed out, dragging himself to sit on the couch next to you, like directly. Knees touching and everything.

This piqued your curiosity, maybe you could learn something about him? “What’s wrong?” You questioned as you shut your phone off, sitting up a bit straighter now, putting some distance between the both of you on purpose by grabbing a throw pillow.

Leon then started to rant and you’ve never been more disgusted and horrified in your life before. “I’ve been talking to this really hot chick and we were hitting it off, even had phone sex once or twice but when she asked me who my ideal woman was she ghosted me! Like what's wrong with saying women belong in the kitchen, or doing laundry, or even just cleaning. Women are only here to serve us alpha males.” 

Your nose scrunched up while your face morphed into genuine horror mixed with disgust. Is this seriously his mindset? It must be a joke or something of the sort because no way in hell. “Is.. is this a joke?” You asked, feeling puzzled as you looked around for a hidden camera. Out of all the people you got stuck with, you got stuck with an incel of all people.

Leon stared at you with the most serious face he could muster, he wasn’t kidding, in fact he was getting a bit upset that you were thinking he was joking. “Women are what's wrong with this world! You’re all too soft and so ditzy. You all think men’s feelings are a joke.” He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and you swear you can make out a dried cum stain on his clothes. 

You felt so sick and also tickled, you’ve never heard someone or have been around a real life incel before and unfortunately this one came in the form of a super hot guy that wasn’t looking so hot anymore 

“Ew..” You stood up from the couch and stuck your tongue out slightly. “Is that how you see women? No wonder why she ghosted you, you’re a fucking incel.” You scoffed out, to which Leon got offended. “So?! What’s wrong with that?!” He shouted, the tips of his ears turning pink. It was different being scolded by a woman in person rather than over the phone because  he knows they can't hurt him physically but rather verbally. Plus it’s much easier to insult someone online versus real life.

“Do you actually hear the words leaving your mouth?” You questioned, staring him down intensely. Leon tried not to shrink in on himself, it reminded him of his mom telling him that he had done something wrong and now he was in trouble. So he doubled down and sat up straighter too, staring up at you. 

“Yeah, and what about it? Why do women get so butthurt over every little thing?” Leon grunted out, rolling his eyes like a little kid would. You were just astonished that he was willing to keep going even after being confronted with the fact, but you weren’t oblivious to the way his ears were turning red from embarrassment. “Fine, if that’s how you’re gonna be.” You murmured as you sat down on the coffee table right in front of him. His eyes follow your form curiously. If he was being honest the only reason why he actually moved in with you was because he thought you were really hot from your profile picture and even the photo you sent of yourself to prove that you were real, per his request. He jerked off to both photos for hours. (Plus his mom really did kick him out.)

Leon went to question you in hopes of turning the table around to make it backfire on you. Yet as his mouth opened to make another snide remark about women you spoke up first. “Let me be the first one to tell you this, and I mean this too.” You paused as you stared right into his eyes. “No woman is ever gonna have sex with you if you have this mentality and mindset.” You watched his eyes widen a bit and felt some joy come from it.

Leon balled his hands up into fists in genuine anger, a deep part of himself knew she wasn’t lying but the other part was so adamant on her being wrong. Obviously she didn’t know what she was talking about, women never do. “You’re a liar. You’re just jealous.” He scoffed out, narrowing his eyes into thin slits.

You were absolutely not lying.

Far from it actually.

The closest Leon had came to a pussy is on a computer screen, let’s face it. No woman on earth would wanna sleep with such scum such as him, not even prostitutes themselves want to take on such a tedious task. They’d rather kill themselves or have their pimp abuse them than sleep with him.

“Really, name 5 women you’ve had touch you in a romantic way.” You countered, staring into his eyes with an intense expression. Leon opened his mouth to try and smugly name a woman until he realized the answer was 0, he had no names because no one wanted him like that.

It was a blow to his ego and it showed on his face. If he wasn’t such a loser with terrible opinions along with his shitty personality then you would’ve felt bad but you didn’t. It was his own fault.

“That’s not fair.” He grumbled, staring up at you with a slight hurt look on his face. He wanted to get back at you. Make you regret and eat your words. How? Well that problem was quickly answered as he grabbed your wrist and pinned you beneath him on the couch. A yelp leaving your mouth at the sudden movements.

“What the—“ You were suddenly cut off by Leon’s hand slapping over your mouth, he smelled of cum and sweat, it made you wanna gag and throw up on him. “I bet I can make you cum so hard you’ll forget that you were mean to me.” He hissed, his fragile ego was broken because of you!

You furrowed your eyebrows before rolling your eyes. “Whatever.” You said underneath his palm, voice coming out muffled.

Leon smirked and moved his hand off your mouth, gazing lustfully at your body. He seemed confident but on the inside he was screaming at himself. He’s never touched or seen a woman in such an intimate manner in real life. This wasn’t a screen this time.

He gulped and hooked his fingers on the waistband of your sweatpants, he was determined to make you cum if it was the last thing he ever did.

Once he removed your sweatpants he found you commando beneath it. His breath caught in his throat, your mound was glistening beneath the light in the living room. It wasn’t even wet because of him, but he was dumb enough to not know the difference. He stared in awe before looking back up at your face when you cleared your throat awkwardly. “You gonna stare or what?” You questioned.

Leon shook his head before putting his hands on you, gently rubbing your inner thighs. Making you think that for a brief moment he might actually know what he was doing, right up until he pressed his thumb against your lower lips and started rubbing them.

Completely missing your clit.

He felt so aroused and a bit cocky now that he was touching your pussy, his eyes laser focused on your face to see if it was feeling good. He even tried dirty talk too. “Yeah? Does that feel good? I bet it does.” Literally hyping himself up.

You found it hilarious and decided to nod, stifling a laugh as you let out a fake over exaggerated moan he hears in his crappy pornos. Leon let out a soft groan at the sound, his hips bucking up into the air while his cock twitched.

Now, Leon had seen enough porn to know that he needed a condom and lube, obviously they never showed the actors prepping the girls' pretty cunts, they just stuck it in. Spoiler alert, foreplay is hot! None is not.

While Leon ran to his room you took the opportunity to finger yourself, even if you were sure he wasn’t packing much you wanted to be somewhat prepared for a small stretch, you groaned silently, throwing your head back in pleasure, clearly favoring your hand over Leon himself.

When you heard his footsteps you quickly pulled your hand away and watched as he excitedly took his pants off. Wow, so much for knowing how to pleasure a woman. It was funny to watch him struggle to keep it together when he kneeled back between your legs.

“I’m gonna put it in now.” Leon announced, squirting a generous amount of lube on your cunt before (attempting to) rolling on the condom. (You definitely had to help him. The last thing you wanted was to get knocked up by some dimwit.)

He put some lube on his cock, jerking off a bit while looking down at your pussy. Not your face. When he stopped masturbating he slapped the tip of his dick against your clit a few times, your body jolting in pleasure at the sudden sensation.

This immediately boosted his ego and you were in awe he was able to make you feel partially good. He was just daydreaming of how tight and warm your hole was going to feel. His dick wasn’t that big either, it was average length, average size, average balls. Just.. underwhelming and average.

“What’re you waiting for?” You murmured, snapping him out his trance briefly before he cleared his throat. “J-Just trying to brace you for my cock, it’s big right?” Leon questioned, feeling a bit insecure but he wanted you to make him feel better, feel like a man. That was a woman’s purpose after all.

“Yes (no).” You sighed out breathily, keeping up your act, dragging your nails down his body gently, causing him to shudder and nod with a smug look on his face. He pushed himself in fairly easily, considering your ex-boyfriends cock was much bigger and overwhelming, accidentally clenching down around Leon’s sad excuse of a penis which riled him up, thinking you had came.

You definitely missed his dick and now was stuck with some crappy one attached to a misogynistic freak. A soft sound of discomfort left your lips and Leon took it as a sign that you were enjoying it. You must love it! He was so confident in himself!

So confident that after 5-6 thrusts he spilled inside the condom, talk about a minute man. He was a millisecond man. His whole body spasmed from euphoric bliss, he had never cum this hard in his life before, burying his face in your neck, sloppily kissing at your skin because he couldn’t kiss for the life of him.

You were stunned someone could cum so quickly, that had to be a world record or something. Quickest man to cum after sticking it in or some random ass title, you hadn’t realized you had zoned out about the Guinness record book until Leon pulled his cock out from inside you, feeling good about himself.

He was panting softly from the intensity of his orgasm, leaning back against the couch to gaze at your pretty pussy, he wanted to eat you out too, wanting to show you he was good orally too.

“Was it good? Did you cum too?” Leon said as he stared into your eyes, wanting to hear you sing his praises and take back your harsh words that hurt his feelings. Almost like a puppy waiting for its owner to praise them for pissing outside the house instead of inside.

You grabbed your clothes and put them back on, smirking as you stared him dead in the eye. “No, I didn’t cum.” You snickered as his face dropped, kissing his forehead quickly. “Sucks to suck, Leon.” You said casually, getting up to go to your room and nap.

Leon sat on the couch stunned beyond relief, his cock kicking against his thigh as he watched you.

He swore under his breath that you were lying and you did cum, after all, delusion is key, and delusion is what made him become your roommate to begin with.

[ahaura]

Bones and All (2022) dir. Luca Guadagnino

Hélène Cixous, The Love of the Wolf

Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Maud Ellmann, The Hunger Artists

Catherynne M. Valente, The Bread We Eat in Dreams, “The Red Girl”

Marty McConnell, The Best American Poetry (2014) ed. David Lehman & Terrance Hayes, “vivisection (you’re going to break my heart)”

Start Web Weaving Text & Image IDs:

[Image ID (1 out of 6): Maren is eating Lee; the shot is focused on Maren. The shot is in black and white. End ID]

Hélène Cixous, The Love of the Wolf

[Text ID: I beg you, eat me up. Want me down to the marrow. End ID]

[Image ID (2 out of 6): Maren is clutching her father's father's coat to her chest on her bed as she cries, shortly after he abandons her. End ID]

Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

[Text ID: I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it—to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once. End ID]

[Image ID (3 out of 6): Maren and Lee sit across from each other in a diner; Maren is not looking at Lee and Lee is looking at her as he drinks coffee. End ID]

Maud Ellmann, The Hunger Artists

[Text ID: Since sexuality originates in seating, it is always haunted by the imagery of ingestion, having neither an object nor a territory proper to itself. Yet eating, in its turn, exceeds the biological demand for nourishment, for it expresses the desire to possess the object unconditionally. The infant sees his stomach as a safe in which he hoards his loot, thus learning his first lessons in private property. The genesis of secrecy may also be attributed to eating, for it is well known that the best way to keep a secret is to eat the evidence. {Highlighted} The stomach is a place almost as private as the grave. {End Highlight} End ID]

[Image ID (4 out of 6): In the dark of night outside of their blue pickup truck, Lee holds Maren's face in his hand. His face is bloody; he is shirtless. Maren's face is not visible to the camera. End ID]

Catherynne M. Valente, The Bread We Eat in Dreams, “The Red Girl”

[Text ID: I love you but there are things older and murkier than love. Things that live not in the heart but the entrails. I don’t want you to see me with the wolf. I don’t want you to see what he does to me. I don’t want you to see what I do to him. End ID]

[Image ID (5 out of 6): In daylight, Maren holds Lee; the viewer cannot see Lee's face. End ID]

Marty McConnell, The Best American Poetry (2014) ed. David Lehman & Terrance Hayes, “vivisection (you’re going to break my heart)”

[Text ID:When I say eat me I mean suck the bones clean, leave nothing

for the waiting, nothing for the vultures or the travelers to come. End ID]

[Image ID (6 out of 6): Maren is eating Lee; Maren's face is out of the shot but the viewer can see her hand on Lee's face as he screams. He is holding her hand to her face. The shot is in black and white. End ID]

End Web Weaving post Text & Image IDS.

[gerec]

fairytale style AU? I'm feeling a bit cheesy

There are a lot of great fairy tale aus in this fandom, Anon; here are a few that I hope you enjoy!

The Changeling Prince by Regann

While seeking help to break a magical curse, a soldier named Erik finds himself trying to solve the mystery of a young prince's illness, a task that leads him deeper into the fickle world of the fae than he ever imagined. (Fairytale AU)

Tale As Old As Time by madneto

Charles is a bibliophile living with his stepbrother in a remote village. Erik is a lonely prince with an affliction he doesn't know how to control. Logan is the greatest hunter in the whole world.

Little Blue Riding Hood by Pangea

An extremely serious retelling of Little Red Riding Hood.

Gain Your Freedom by Synekdokee 

“Why are you so concerned,” the king asked, voice strained. “You are here against your will. You were gifted to me against your consent. When I die, you shall gain your freedom.”

The Most Powerful Thing in the World by velvetcadence

Charles has been cursed with a pig's nose, and only true love can break the spell.

The Little Polar Bear (East of the Sun and West of the Moon) by kageillusionz

In a Modern, Powered AU, Charles Xavier is a struggling post-graduate student who works part time as a waiter for a catering job. His father once owned the prestigious toy company called The Little Polar Bear, that is until he died in a factory fire and his mother remarried to the Markos who run it to the ground.

As fate will have it, Charles is working the night The Little Polar Bear undergoes a merger with Das Spielwarengeschäft mit der Maus, an overseas toy company that is run by the enigmatic Erik Lehnsherr who always keeps part of his face covered.

This is the story of them falling in love and facing a number of trials and tribulations to stay together. Based loosely from the Norwegian fairytale East of the Sun, West of the Moon and written for Round Two of X-Men Big Bang.

The Sleeping Beauty in the Ivory Tower (- or Erik Lehnsherr is a hopeless romantic) by ximeria

There is a tale, out among the stars, of a sleeping beauty in an ivory tower.

Maze by AuraWhiteFox

The last thing Erik expected to deal with was a child kidnapping King from another dimension. But that’s what happening. When one night became too much and Erik wished his children gone the Goblin King accepted his wish and stole them away.

Faced with a future without his children Erik makes a deal with the King, if he can solve the Maze and make it to the Goblin King’s castle in 12 hours he can have his children back.

If he doesn’t…his children will remain in the Goblin’s hands…as too will Erik.

The Sleeping Prince by Gerec 

Erik grew up on tales of the Sleeping Prince, the beautiful boy who slumbers in his castle, waiting for true love's kiss. His stepbrother Sebastian pushes him to go searching for Charles, hoping to wake him and claim a just reward. But when they find the Prince still asleep in his Tower, a simple kiss isn't enough to break the spell...

...so Sebastian suggests they try a little something more.

(A dark, Sleeping Beauty AU).

Erik by jackpack

The Shrek AU nobody asked for. Erik is a mutant living deep in the woods of Genosha, whose land is suddenly invaded by other displaced mutants. Angry, he approaches Lord Stryker, who says that he will only give Erik his land back if he brings him Prince Charles Xavier, the fairest royal in the land and the heir to the Genoshian throne, who has been kept in a tower since his childhood and hidden from the world.

Burn as Blue by ang3lsh1

When the King liberates Prince Erik from the dragon and carries him back to the kingdom, he doesn't realise that Prince Erik feels that he's been kidnapped instead and is determined to make his way back to his dragon.

Love Like Winter by garnettrees (unfinished but amazing and highly recommended!)

"Once, when all the world was green and young, there lived two very different little boys..."

Now these boys have grown, thrust onto a political battlefield filled with long-held grudges and secret motives. Charles has spent the majority of his adult life studying and teaching the finer points of spell casting.

Erik... Erik fights for what is his.

More Than All The World (The Werewolf's Tale) by luninosity

An Erik/Charles story very loosely based on Marie de France’s 12th-century French werewolf tale, in which Erik is the man transformed into a wolf (he’ll get changed back by the end, it’s not that kind of story, though they very definitely do fall in love) and Charles is a king and eventually there’s a happy ending. Also, a villain’s nose gets bitten off.

A Tale of Two Kingdoms by Pangea

The Swan by waitfornight 

In 1939 Erik and his sister Ruth are sent to Devonshire, England, during the Kindertransport refugee program to live with Kurt and Sharon Marko as foster children just before the start of World War II. Angry and wishing he could return home on the night of his seventeenth birthday, Erik meets a boy alone in the forest who is cursed to transform each day into a swan, only taking his true form by night.

Swan Lake AU.

Beyond the Brambles by velvetcadence

Erik won't wake up unless Charles kisses him down there. A Sleeping Beauty AU.

The Sleeping Prince by stickmarionette

The King and Queen both came to a violent end, as so many kings and queens of Genosha had before them. A shame, but all tales of this sort need blood to feed them.

As for the Crown Prince, just fifteen years old and full of promise, he fell into a deep sleep from which no method devised by the best healers in Genosha could wake him.

The tale of Erik Lehnsherr and the Sleeping Prince of Genosha.

Till Human Voices Wake Us And We Drown by SharpestScalpel

Charles is a selkie. Erik finds his pelt.

Snow White & Sky Blue by TurtleTotem

In which Mother MacTaggert raises two mutant infants left to die in the forest, Shaw is an evil dwarf, and Erik is a bear. (An XMFC version of the fairy tale "Snow White and Rose Red".)

As They Kept Falling the Way Leaves Do by cm (mumblemutter) 

Charles saves Erik.

A Wolf Eats the Sun by SharpestScalpel

For a kink meme prompt:

Charles = red riding hood Erik = the hunter Shaw = the wolf

Can be as vanilla or as smexy as you want given how the red hood in the original parable is supposed to represent a girl's virginity lol

Happily Ever After, My Arse! by ximeria

Fairy Land has had a nice, long run of the show Happily Ever After, but with it gearing up to its 13th season, the previous two years' dwindling viewer numbers mean this might be the last one.

The premise has always been a selection of contestants competing for a happily ever after. No one has ever considered adding a clause specifying that villains can't participate. So what happens when the Master of Magnetism decides to join in on the 'fun'?

The show might turn out to be a total disaster — or a total success if the show’s suffering host, Charles Xavier, manages to come to terms with several things, the pressing one among them being his budding attraction to this impossible man. Not that his co-host, Raven, makes it easy for Charles to stay in denial when she’s in charge of dressing up the contestants.

Add in a tablespoon of Shrek, some How to Train your Dragon and a pinch of Monsters' Inc and your Happily Ever After might just not flambè your arse

[scotianostra]

May 17th is Norwegian Constitution Day or Syttende Mai as its known in Norway.

A wonderful spring holiday celebrated with red, white and blue ribbons, national costumes and waving of the Norwegian flag, the three colours are everywhere in Norway at this time of year.

It’s a day Norwegians all over the world take off to celebrate and marks the historic signing of the Constitution in 1814, the year Norway gained its independence from Sweden, which was fully realized in 1905.

In every city, town and village in Norway, children and adults alike express their cultural pride by marching to the bright music of school bands, celebrating the joy of springtime and honoring of those citizens who created Norway’s constitutional government, founding her independence.

Especially popular is the Children’s Procession that brings every child out in their best clothes or national costume.

In Edinburgh the Norwegian community celebrate Syttende Mai too.

Edinburgh’s celebrations include the Norwegian Scottish Society dinner, after a reception at the Norwegian Consulate’s residence.

Each year Norwegian students in Edinburgh hold a breakfast at Prestonfield House followed by a parade along Waterloo Place and onto Princes Street. At the boom of Edinburgh Castle’s One o’ clock gun, the pigeons fly and the parade begins!

Tonight expats and guests gather at The Royal Scots Club Abercromby Place for a celebration dinner held by the Norwegian Scottish Association. The association was founded in Edinburgh in 1966, and has enjoyed over 50 years of Norwegian-Scottish friendship.

Norwegian Scottish Association roots lie in a much older friendly society, one rooted in the shared experience of Norwegians and Scots during the Second World War. Founded in Dumfries in 1941, the Scottish Norwegian Society brought Scots and Norwegians together in difficult times. Having escaped the German occupation of their homeland in 1940, around a thousand Norwegians had come to be stationed at various times in Dumfries, and it was not long before the idea of a formal society was begun.

Of course our history with Norway goes back centuries, Northern Scotland, was, at one time, a Norse domain and the Northern Isles experienced the most long-lasting Norse influence. Almost half of the people on Shetland today have Viking ancestry, and around 30% of Orkney residents.

Many agree that there are many points of commonality between the Norse character and the Scottish one that leads to a sense of kinship between the two countries, even for those living much further south in Scotland, where Viking influence did not reach. Words like bairn and muckle made their way into Scot’s language via the Norwegians.

I touched upon the links during the second world war earlier and have posted before about the Shetland bus which provided a transport link between the Shetland Islands and occupied Norway. Many Norwegian refugees fled their occupied home with the help of Norwegian sailors who undertook daring, high-risk trips across the North Sea. The whole episode became emblematic of the friendship across the seas.

More recently Edinburgh’s Zoo also has a strong connection to Norway as it is home to a very special resident. Sir Nils Olav III is the mascot and colonel-in-chief of the Norwegian King’s Guard. The king penguin’s rank has been passed down through three generations since 1972. Knighted in 2008, he even received a military promotion in 2016 with the brigadier title bestowed upon him in a special ceremony at the zoo.

The Zoo’s link with Norway originated in 1913 when arctic explorer Roald Amundsen presented a penguin to them on their opening. Once a year the penguin inspects soldiers from Norway’s King’s Guard.

Edinburgh's Syttende mai parade – the 17th May or Norwegian Constitution Day parade traditionally takes place along the capital's main thoroughfare, Princes Street. At the boom of Edinburgh Castle's 'one o' clock gun', the pigeons fly and the parade begins!

Pics are from last ears parade.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

hi hi!!! can you pretty pretty please write a fic where dead takes the reader’s virginity after they had been dating for a while. and it’s really soft and sweet

My heart

warning : smut, p in v, not to graphic, fluff/comfort, kissing, some aftercare

Info : So it took a while and after some days of no motivation I finally bring this to an end. I hope you like it dear anon have fun reading everyone else too ;)

masterlist

Disclaimer : I don't want to glorify anything, it's about the actors who play a role, not the real events.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love is not always easy, but when was it, especially in the case of the singer of the band who saw themselves as the messengers of Satan, the beginnings of Norwegian black metal.

But how did it happen that on this dark evening he found himself in a sea of clothes that were neither decorated with rivets nor patches. On the contrary, his blue eyes were fixed on the body beneath him.

His cold pale hands had gently wrapped around hers, her hands kissing each finger individually until she was ready to open them and slide onto the bed. ,,Are you sure, my heart?" the blonde asked, his hair spilling over his shoulder and tickling her still lightly clothed torso. Was she ready?

She had always wanted to be, or was that not why she had fallen in love in the first place? When she had seen the singer at a concert, it was love at first sight. Love that they both now wanted to consummate on a physical level. In a way that they both knew would be pleasant, careful and slow.

The blond, despite his morbid nature, knew that his heart needed her time. ,,Y-Yes I'm sure...I trust you Dead" he received her answer and couldn't hide his grin, which he didn't often do. But ever since they'd gotten together, they'd wanted to do it. engaging her in another gentle kiss, his hands slowly wrapped around the clasp of her bra.

A glance at her was further confirmation as she slowly lowered her hands before the penultimate piece of clothing fell between them. ,,Don't be afraid... I would always love you," he murmured, kissing her cheeks, which had heated up with shame and accompanying arousal.

The blonde dropped the garment on the bed before gently beginning to massage her breasts. Her breathing slowly increased, her skin warm and soft everywhere he touched.

She was filled with life, something he loved so much in his own dead being. ,,And I love you...forever," she replied, an almost cautious sigh escaping her as he kissed her lips again before turning his attention to hers. Kisses and gentle love bites left a kiss for every little bite, sucking on her jugular vein.

He watched her reaction and gave her time if it got too much for a moment. ,,Feels...good," she whispered, watching Dead's eyes light up with pride and devotion as he continued to kiss his way down her body, his hands tracing little circles and her own hands, daring her to put her own hands on him.

To hold and feel him. The slight upsurge of her body as he placed his lips on her tender breasts, the first time she had been touched like this, pleasured like this. The light scratching over his skin as her arousal made Dead sigh.

She watched as the blonde slowly moved down her body. ,,I'm making you feel good...promise" she heard him say, trying to concentrate on him, the warmth, the soft mattress and his touch. The blond did not let himself be deprived of spoiling her further as he kissed the soft skin of his favorite.

,,You don't know how long I've loved you... wanted to do this," he confessed and she thought she saw a pinkish tinge on his cheeks. His blue eyes settled on her body as he watched her as if she were a work of art, his work of art. Something he cherished, loved and would love forever.

Dead knew that until the end of his already dead life he would love her, there was no other way. Kissing his way up her thighs, leaving light marks, he felt her tense a little again. ,,Hey hey my heart...I'll be careful okay?" he asked this over and over in the same soft patient tone as his hands finally settled on her and his last piece of clothing between them.

She gave him her consent and their underwear slid to the floor. ,,My pretty Eve," he quipped, seeing the little smirk on her lips as she followed it with a ,,My pretty dead Adam" she pulled him into another kiss before he positioned himself properly. His hands slid to hers for a moment between them before he entered her. His gasp at her moaning out hit them both as they took a moment to get used to the feeling.

She continued to hold herself against the mattress and Dead before she gave him a small nod and he began to move. Slowly and rather carefully but it was just right for them both. They knew that in all the time they had been together that they wanted to take their time and now they were finally together.

They finally had what they wanted and needed. Each other. His gaze only became more full of love and lust as it met hers and the bond between them was strengthened.

His lips searched hers again, his fingers stroking hers as they both held each other. ,,So beautiful," he murmured, kissing her again, feeling his fingers scratching his pale skin as he found the right spot. Her sounds echoed louder and louder through the room as he placed his hand on her breast again.

The massage and the taking of her sensitive spots seemed to bring her to her climax. When she breathlessly tried to tell him just a few moments later, she held onto him and he spoke sweet words to her.

She tightened around him, hearing his own moans as her body reared up slightly and the moment seemed to last forever. Dead herself as she muffled after she came down from her high.

They both just hung on for a moment as they both tried to catch their breath. ,,That...was...unbelievable I love you," he murmured as he sat down next to her and pressed a kiss to her cheek, his fingers playing with a strand of hair as he watched his darling barely seem to believe it had happened. ,,I love you too," she replied, brushing a strand of hair from his face before snuggling up to him. Knowing full well that they would not repeat this just once and had all time they needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@icarus-star

[lale-txt]

❈ 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐰/ 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 & 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐠𝐧)

@bas-writes asked: That was supposed to be a joke but I can't get it out of my mind after our extra conversation 😭😂 Could I request Gojo or Geto (still can't decide sorry aklskdd) taking bath or shower with their tall afab s/o - or rather, attempting to because when the average height is like 185cm nothing possibly can be easy 🤭 Thank you! ❤

a/n: ngl this drabble sent me into a deep dive of how certain parts of a shower are called because somehow i forgot them in all three languages LMAO it ended up being a short drabble and only slightly suggestive at the end, but the scenario was just too funny for me to take the full blown nsfw route asdfhjks but i hope you'll enjoy it anyway! thank you for your request, Bas! you're always giving me such fun prompts to work with, hehe.

word count: 637

“Uhm, excuse me, personal space?” 

You let out a small huff when someone squeezes into the shower with you, basically cornering you with his tall frame. It’s not like you were small to begin with, and yet Gojo still could rest his chin on top of your head if he wanted to–and right now there was almost no other choice than to do so. This shower wasn’t built for a person above average height, even less for two of your kind.

“You didn’t seem to mind me in your personal space last ni–OI!”

Note to yourself: Shower head aimed directly at his face can make Gojo shut up for an approximate span of two seconds. He’ll never get rid of the house cat accusations, huh?

Gojo grabs your hand that’s holding the cursed tool and gently nibs at your neck (again with the cat behavior…) before he puts the shower head back where it belongs. He’s not bothered by your protests and reaches to adjust the temperature of the water from a pleasant medium high to something that could best be described as close to boiling, filling the already too small shower with so much steam you practically go blind. Not much of a problem for the Six Eyes though.

“You could have just waited till I got out of the shower, you know?”, you grumble, trying to find your shampoo bottle but continue to grab anything but said bottle, maybe because Gojo is everywhere your hands reach out to in this cramped space. He hums, a deep sound in his chest that was close to purring, his big hands running over your body playfully with his chest pressed against your back. 

“But Ichiji texted me that he’s already waiting for us outside, even before I got into the shower. I’m just being time-efficient here”, Gojo coos and presses a kiss on the back of your neck. His wet hair tickles your skin while his hands sneak around your waist—a moment of defenselessness, leaving him unprepared for you abruptly bending over to grab your shampoo from the ground and pummeling your boyfriend out of the shower with the sheer force of your arched back.

Freedom never tasted sweeter than in this moment; to finally move around somewhat freely in your shower again without bumping into this brick of a man. Sure, you still had to duck slightly to stand under the shower head, but at least it wasn’t getting blocked by another giant. You love Gojo, with all your heart, but you learned very early on in your relationship that showering together wasn’t this romantic and cute scenario for you two to enjoy–it was war.

“Oi!”

The shower curtain gets dramatically pulled aside and once the hot water steam sets slightly, you see your butt-naked lover with his hands on his hips, bright blue eyes on you, probably thinking of a hundred creative ways to make you pay for your crime. You would be intimidated if he didn’t look like a soggy wet Norwegian cat which makes you bite back a laughter forming in your throat.

“Don’t come back in here, I swear, this shower is too small for–”, you threaten him with a laugh, already reaching for your weapon–the shower head–again. 

With one big step Gojo is back in the shower with you, cornering you once more, his mouth finding your neck and trailing kisses up to your ear before he bites it gently. He chuckles quietly at the small noise you let out and you know he won’t stop until he charms out many, many other sounds. Something tells you that you won’t be getting out of this shower anytime soon and you make a mental note to send Ichiji a gift basket for putting up with your demeanors. It probably won’t be the last time.

[justjams2003]

Sweet Savagery -11

Paring: Dark!Thor Odinson x Slave!Reader

Summary: All your life, Thor's blue eyes have haunted you. You believed you outran him, but now all your hopes come tumbling down.

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of Hel, Asgard, Valhalla, lightning strikes. Talk about slavery. Fire. Nakedness in front of a lot of people. Choking, yelling, chains, parental issues. Google Translate Norwegian. Scars. Body image issues. Talking about not eating. Dungeons. Thor straight up tries to kill you in this one...Tell me if I missed any.

Word count: 2,3k+, Unedited

1st Divider by: @firefly-graphics

2nd Divider by: @cafekitsune

Tag list: @torossosebs @steverogersistheguy @thehighladyofasgard @notyourtypicalrose @presidentlokis-hornyhelmet @lovelyselfshipper @groovy-lady @seishm @sincerely-silk

~Masterlist~

Part 10~Part 12 (Coming soon)

Three months and nothing to fill your ears but the constant down pour of rain. You feel like an empty husk of yourself. The healers they’d come inside, clean your wound, leave food and then leave. The scar left behind...it’s a reminder on your body of something so violent. You spent hours on end looking in the mirror, tracing the white-pink mark. You’d stretch your stomach, looking at the way it move with your skin. 

Then the tears would start again. Of course Thor hasn’t come to see you. Who would want you now? A slightly reminder of your disobedience, if only you stayed with him. You should have known he’d never want you to leave his side. You’d bite the inside of your cheeks until you could taste the metal dripping out your mouth. And then you’d check again. Red, blood red. Not even a speck of gold. 

An annoyed gasp escapes you, with what strength you have you’d hit the mirror. But, it doesn’t have much effect. It doesn’t fill the rage that has been swirling around inside you. You feel so stupid. You know he had to cut his trip short because of your insolence. And here you sit in your room, crying because you miss him. His warmth, his voice and those eyes. 

You hang over the balcony, you look down at the village. Very few people are outside, just those who really need to be. To keep their families alive, to hunt and to fish. But when they open their door the water comes pouring in. Flooding their homes. All because these three months it hasn’t once stopped raining. 

Some part of you feels guilty for it. You know you can't control the weather, but if you could it would be like this. It’s supposed to be warmer now. It’s still cold like it should be in the deep of the winter and the sun hasn’t shown once. It’s not Spring like it should be. And New Asgard is struggling for it. 

“I heard you aren’t eating.” The voice is rough and deep and one you recognise so easily. You scoff, but it hurts to do, your throat is raw from all the crying. ���Like you care. You don’t want me anymore.” It’s almost as if a growl escapes him and then suddenly his large hand is on your neck, pulling you back to face him. 

His lip curls up in a disgusted snarl. “You look terrible.” Your eyes are quick to find his. You find comfort in that neon blue that you’ve never been able to escape. You taste salty tears, your nose feels stuffy. His thumb grazes your cheek, his growl softens. “A Queen is not allowed to cry. Have I not taught you this already?” 

“Not even in front of you?” You search for something, anything. But all you get back is anger and pain. He doesn’t like to see you cry, but in your mind he doesn’t like you being weak. Your eyes avoid his, your hands come up and wipe away the tears with the back of your hand. ”I’m sorry.” You quickly mumble. 

Thunder cracks through the sky, you jump slightly and then he has you in his arms. A firm grasp, like he’s protecting you from the whole world. Like he’s scared you’ll be gone any second now. Like he’s going to lose you again. Like something is after you and he needs to save you from it. “My little dove.” 

This makes you remember what you’ve been wanting to give him for so long now. “Thor...?” He’s so hesitant to let you from his grasp. Only when you raise your head and show him that you’re alright does he let you go. “I got you something.” His eyes watch you while you walk over to your side of the bed and pull that necklace you bought so so many months ago. 

You dangle the dove necklace in front of him but his expression turns sour. Another huge lightning bolt hits right outside. Right on the balcony. The fur carpet that Thor had instructed be laid out so that your feet do not get cold, gets hit with the lightning and fire ignites from it. Roaring flames spill from it and you jump with shock and fear. 

Yet Thor doesn’t move. Instead his jaw locks tight and he grabs the necklace from you so hard that the chain almost breaks. “Where did you get this?” His voice is rough and in that moment all you can see is that night where he showed up dripping in blood. The blood none of his and only of men he has killed. 

You only see the anger of a gruesome murder. “I-” The lightning hits just outside the balcony again, the tree hits on fire. You jump, the fear settles in your body as the curtains catch on fire. The fire is quickly spreading, but you cannot run. For Thor’s thick battle-hardened hands wrap around your neck. 

With a simple squeeze, that threatens to end your life, he repeats himself. “Where did you get this?” Your small hands claw as his and he lets go just enough for you to breathe again. “When you left the kingdom in my hands, I went to the market. A old woman there, she sold it to me.” Thor mumbles an array of curses under his breath. 

He still doesn’t seem too bothered by the raging fire creeping into your bedroom. All he does is groan and then quite suddenly he bends down, wrapping his arms around your knees and throws you over his shoulder. His large steps carry you out of the room. He shoots out a rough command for the guards to, “Handle it.” In return, once they see the fire, the begins scrambling like headless chickens. 

“Where are we going?” You ask, trying to see him but you’re only met with a head full of hair. “To do what I should’ve done the damn day I burned your fucking parents alive.” A gasp falls from your lips. He’s never addressed that day. The only sense of apology you’ve gotten from it is the guilt in his eyes when you bring it up. 

But this is brutal. This cuts deep like a knife and twists and you can feel your heart beat in your ears as the fear rattles your body. No longer are you comforted by his presence. Instead, only terrified. Like a mouse being hunted, your breathing is quick and shallow. You begin hitting him, screaming, fighting for any sort of escape. 

“I should have fucking known!” He yells when he stomps down the steps of the dungeon. You’re reminded of the stink of blood that this place oozes. “I should have known not to trust a snake bitch like you.” He snaps, dropping you down onto the floor of one of the prisons. 

He grabs a neck collar and chain. The metal is heavy, and you stagger with the extra weight. He grabs you by the hair on your scalp. He pulls you up. Forced to meet those electric blue eyes. Outside, the storm is raging. Swirling with thunder and lightning. Each strike hits the floor outside the castle. 

Fire surrounds the castle and the knights are struggling to keep the flames at bay. Should he not be doing something about this? Rather, he’s down here with you. “Was this your plan all along?” He grunts when the only reply you give is tears of fear. “Colluding with the gods?” He snaps again. 

When you again only reply with whimpers he bellows out. “I trusted you!” You try to scramble away, the sharp sting of his hand gripping your hair shoots pain through your body. “Thor- please- I don’t understand-” You try to beg but it only back fires. He drops you down onto the wet floor of the dungeon. 

“Don’t give me that! You planned with the gods. They sent you down here, you wormed your way into my heart. Made me utter the words of submission! For what? A chance to sit at the God’s table?” He yells out, pacing up and down the dungeon each of his steps causing a wet plop sound. 

“Did they promise you eternal life? Powers of a God?” He scoffs, blue lightning jumps all over his body and it only confuses you more as to what is really happening. “Did I not teach you to trust only me? Obey only me?” He snaps, cursing again.  

Thor pinches the bridge of his noise “I should just fucking kill you, for your betrayal.” He lifts his head, turning back over to you. Like he’s been struck with an idea. He has this sort of crazed look in his eyes. And...a smile. When have you ever seen him smile? 

“I’m going to fucking kill you.”  Thor laughs, his shoulders shaking. “That’ll really show them.”

The cold settles in your bones. You can barely see the crowd watching you through the thick cloud of rain hanging over the coliseum. You try your best to cover up your naked body with your hands, but that still leaves you shivering. Your body is ice cold from adrenaline. This is where that knight got killed and you can only assume it’s going to be the same for you. 

The crowd cheers when you hear the gate open. You can’t see what it is, but can only assume it to be somebody’s worst nightmare. Something comparable with hell itself. Something that most certainly spells out your death. 

Footsteps echo and the mist clears in front of you. True it is, the one thing you fear, now, over monsters and the sky falling. Thor himself. He is dressed the same as you. Except he looks...Godly. Where before you were certain he was a Titan sent to overcome the gods. Now, you see he is one of them. 

The rain doesn’t touch him. It’s as scared as you are of his wrath. Blue lightning jumps across his body. His beauty is glaring. His skin looks to be glowing, his eyes bluer than ever before. His hair shining like gold. His body looks to exist entirely out of muscle, pure power oozes from him. 

He’s got this smirk on his face, he’s smiled more when he thought of killing than he ever did while fucking you. When he touches your cheek, he’s entirely warm. As if the cold cannot even reach him, his skin entirely impenetrable. His voice is husky and like silk when he bends down and whispers in your ear. 

“Today, you will meet the gods. And they will curse you down to forever wander the coldest pit of Hel.” 

Your knees give in. And as if something over comes you in that moment, you repeat the words he had that night. The world shifts and turns into one of glittering gold. Grass the colour of sunlight under your knees and you gasp, seeing Thor in all his glory. Red fur sits on his shoulders, his armour is a metal you’ve never seen before. On top his head sits a crown made from stone that reflect the golden light all around. 

But what’s even more shocking is that you two are not alone. Not the bystanders, no. Gods. Odin himself, who else would lack an eye? Frigga herself, who else would exude such love? Heimdall, Balder, Ty, all 11 Gods. And Thor makes 12. 

Thor scoffs, “You’ve brought me in front of them? Good, let them see my power and resistance.” He speaks in a language you suddenly understand. “This will not end well and you know it.” Frigga speaks in that very same tongue. 

Your body acts before you can, reaching out to grab Thor’s pantleg. “Is this real?” He scoffs, “Do not act as if you’ve never seen them or Asgard before.” He turns back to argue with his mother, but she shakes her head no. Then his head snaps back down to you. His eyes wide as a realisation settles on him. 

“You have not seen them...?” You gulp and shake your head no. He blinks, looking back up at his Godly parents. 

“You submitted Thor. We returned your power back to you. You must return to the pantheon. Take your rightful seat as heir. With your soulmate by your side.” Thor staggers back, he sees his thousand years on earth flash before him. How hard he worked to overthrow the man who’s crown is heavier than his own. Only to submit in the scramble of trying to save the life of a girl. 

Thor looks down at you. Dressed in the finest Asgardian dress. Hair braided the right way for a future queen. A crown sits atop your head that you had yet to notice. You’re too busy gawking around at the sights that no other mortal has or ever will see again. This is no simple girl. It’s his soulmate. 

His voice shakes, how has his thousand years of planning all been brought down by the single sight of eyes that glow like his own? “Or you can kill her and die along with her. Letting the world fall off balance and let Loki take your place.” That can’t happen, all the realms would fall into chaos. 

“Or you can join her back on Midgard. You can continue to try and raise an army that will never be strong enough to face even one of the Gods. And slowly watch her wither away and die as a mortal. Since you seem so keen on denying her rightful seat on the pantheon with your selfish desires.” 

“I will not let her become a slave to any God.” Thor interrupts. Shouting at his parents, pointing to the girl clinging to him. “Look at her, son.” Frigga sits more upright. He looks down, this time seeing the weak, naked girl with the chain around her neck, crying and begging for her life to be saved by Thor.  

“She already is one.” They’re toying with his mind again. 

(This is the second last part if you do want to be added to the taglist)

[mercur1e]

Just a silly thought i had- what if the god of war characters were adorable cats???

Okay so Kratos would be named Kittos, and he’d be a white maine coon with a scar on his eye! (deep down he’s a black cat to me though) OH AND HE’D HAVE A CRUNCHY MEOW!! You’d have to slowly earn his trust for him to feel comfortable with you petting him or getting near his baby. Otherwise he will hiss and bite. He comes and goes as he pleases.

Atreus would be Mewtreus, and he’d be a little orange tabby kitty!! He’ll always be following behind his papa💗 He has a high pitched meow that slightly deepens as he becomes a teenager.

Faye would be a pretty orange Norwegian forest cat, who Mewtreus got his looks from. Her name would be the same because I think it’s just so pretty. A soft, light meow and she’s very watchful yet playful! For an outdoor cat she’s not very dirty at all!

Freya would be a Balinese cat and Freyr would be a Balinese or Siamese cat! Their names would be Mewa and Mewer :) Mewer really loves his uh…cat grass. He cuddles nicely and has a stuffed toy boat named Skiðblaðnir that he loves very much💖

Mimir would be an Oriental shorthair because he loves to talk, and oriental shorthairs are too! Of course i’m going to name him Mewmir😂 He’d be a sweet little kitty who needs a kitty wheelchair but trust he’s always on bumpers when it’s time to fight! He loves pets and will meow until you give him what he wants.

Sindri would be a Sphynx cat but has patches of hair, and Brok would too but he’d be bald(totally NOT because Brok is a skirted egg) They have skippty pap sessions sometimes but they’ll put aside their differences quickly. Sindri loves his personal space, but Brok also loves Sindri’s personal space.

Thor would be an orange persian cat who is fiercely protective of his last daughter, Mewed. (I’m not very creative with the names I know) He will hiss and swat at anyone that gets too close to his baby except for Sif. Has a deep meow and beautiful coat.

Baldur is an Abyssinian and only lets those close to to him pet him, and does not like his mother. He is an outdoor cat that will only come back every blue moon. Kittdur loves to hunt, and would bring back dead prey to as presents.

Sif would be named Sniff and is a Siberian Forest cat! She won’t meow much, but when she does it’s very adorable.

Odin would also be an either an Oriental shorthair because he also talks A LOT !! If not an oriental cat, he’d be a Cornish Rex. Meowdin would be one of those cats that steps on your face in the middle of your night.

Angrboda would be an adorable Calico Kitty!!!! Meowgrboda is her name🫶🏽 She and Mewtreus will cuddle on occasion. She’s the kind of kitty who will stay in your arms all night and snuggle you! She loved to be picked up and enjoys challenging toys. She’s an adorable indoor cat who loves her toys!

Heimdall would be named Hissdall and is a Turkish Van who hisses at everyone except his owner. Will swat at other cats and enjoys his solitude. He tried to bite Mewtreus one time and Kittos didn’t take kindly to that.

Týr would be a brown oriental shorthair, is surprisingly very quiet for his breed but sweet as can be! Will circle around your legs for pets! Has the trademark honk meow and it’s a true treat to hear it.

Do you guys know that one cat meme and it’s just like cuddled nicely vs. bit my ass? Yeah that’s Mewer and Hissdall.

This was fun to write!! I’d would like to write about the Valkyries as cats next, would anyone be interested in seeing that? Please let me know if you are! :)

[dcdreamblog]

Are There Any Hero Forn Norway

i Aks This To do

1 I love Superheros And There History

2 The Fact That I Live In Norway But No Nothing About Norway (somehow) (I Know A Lot A The US But NOTHING ABUOT My Homeland)

and 3 i Wnat Do Know More About NON-US Heros (and Villans? Maybe?)

Sure.

While Norway wasn't a founding member of the Global Guardians (because its original members were all part of the UN's Non-Aligned Movement and Norway was obviously a founding member of NATO) it did join very swiftly after the group's membership expanded in the early 70s.

It has had two champions who have been called "nasjonale heltinner" which I'm told means something along the lines of "national heroines". A more famous one whose fame has spread outside her homeland and one who is still much more homegrown. I'll quickly touch on the more famous one first since she's apt to come up more often.

(Photograph of Ice released during her time with the Justice League International. Yes the seal clubbers are real. Yes this is the picture they went with. Yes the JLI did stuff like this a lot)

Tora Olafsdotter AKA Is AKA Ice.

Olafsdotter's early years are clouded in mystery but she has ties both to the Norwegian Romani population and a hidden group of Homo Magi known as the Ice People, the working theory that she is biracial between the two. She spent large parts of her early years in both Germany and New Zealand before returning to Norway after the nation's slot on the Global Guardians was temporarily emptied.

Her time on the Guardians was ultimately brief, during the period when the Guardians had their UN funding cut in favor of the Justice League International, Ice (the Icemaiden) and fellow Guardian Green Flame (later Fire) joined up with the JLI where most of her career took place.

She's the most internationally known heroine from Norway by far as a member of the JLI where she ultimately laid down her life against the Overmaster. Though she has since returned to life and active duty.

Norway's home grown heroine however, one whose work is much more focused to WITHIN Norway itself.

(Glacier's official portrait, the original copy currently hangs at the Global Guardian's Dome headquarters in Paris, France)

Sigrid Nansen, formerly Isjomfru/Icemaiden, now Isbreen/Glacier

Nansen received their powers from an experiment at the behest of the Norwegian government, wanting to artificially duplicate the powers of the "Ice People" Homo Magi tribe that Olafsdotter came from.

Nansen's mother was a rather famous scientist who "volunteered" her child for the procedure. While at the time it was assumed Nansen herself was enthusiastic, it was later revealed that Nansen's mother was abusive, both towards her child's lack of scientific interest and lack of "popularity" with male suitors.

The procedure was a success, duplicating the Ice People's cryokinetic abilities, at the cost of dyeing Nansen's skin permanently blue. They were placed on the roster of the Global Guardians, becoming the group's first Norwegian member. They were placed in a rather infamous shear and revealing costume that only further exacerbated Nansen's body dysphoria. Memories from their teammates at the time recall them as depressed and withdrawn.

When Tora Olafsdotter was unveiled, Icemaiden resigned from the Global Guardians and took a several year long sabbatical. They didn't reemerge until after Ice was killed in the line of duty with the JLI. Reappearing and offering themself as replacement, Nansen revealed to the world that they were bisexual, the first openly queer member of the Global Guardians.

The Church of Norway publically condemned Nansen, JLI teammate Guy Gardener famously sent an official reply to the Church consisting of floating outside of the Church's headquarters for 6 hours beaming a large energy construct of a middle finger into all the windows.

They were rotated off active JLI duty after sustaining heavy injury in a battle against the alien Hyperclan, they remained active on and off for a couple years afterwards before being kidnapped by the Ultra-Humanite. The nature of the invasive procedures conducted during that time are not known but one can compare before and after pictures for themselves.

Nansen fell off the map for several years after that, eventually reappearing under the thrall of a villain named Minister Blizzard who was harnessing Nansen's powers for his own designs, Nansen having fallen into a spiral of self loathing about their powers and underlying body issues.

When they were finally freed from that situation, Nansen made two announcements. That they were now going by Glacier, rather than Ice Maiden And that they used they/them pronouns.

Since then, Glacier has returned to active duty on the Global Guardians, where they serve with distinction. As well as being seen among the company of the LGBT superhero support group known playfully as the "Justice League Queer"