#much later edit: I want to state my thought process on who got invited to this party

[diltonsstrangescience]

[cosplayinamerica]

Princess Daisy : pencils_and_pincushions // photo: that_fedora_photographer

I’m a Canadian cosplayer who has been cosplaying since 2007. I’ve had a love for Victorian fashion since I very young age (my little kid brain basically made the connection that Victorian dresses = women dressing like Disney princesses IRL), but the thing that kickstarted my desire to learn sewing was going to a fabric store with my mother when I was in my senior year of high school and seeing a Butterick pattern catalogue that had Victorian-inspired costumes. Almost instantly I had a lightbulb moment that if I learned to sew, I could actually wear those big fancy gowns I loved.   

I entered university and, over the next few years, spent my free time reading and learning everything I could about sewing. In 2007, my best friend invited me to Anime North - she was going as a gothic lolita-inspired version of the Queen of Hearts, so I decided I would make a Mad Hatter to accompany her.

I was so excited that I jumped in completely head-first, and it ended up being my first foray into both sewing and pattern drafting. In hindsight it was wildly ambitious for a first project (and I’m still a little surprised that I actually pulled it off!), but I’m so glad that my enthusiasm made me persevere and psh through the challenges, because I learned a ton from that experience and ended up with a cosplay I was thrilled with.

I remember seeing myself in the mirror the first time and being so happy when I realized I’d been able to bring something to life from my imagination. When my friend and I got to the con, things only got better from there - the atmosphere was so energetic and colourful thanks to all the amazing cosplays, and it was filled with so many fun, enthusiastic, and friendly people. From that day I was officially hooked on cosplay.

I’m part of the Toronto Steampunk Society and, each year at Fan Expo Canada, we hold an Annual Costume Challenge where we pick a theme and encourage people to make a costume based on the theme. A couple of years ago, the theme was ‘steampunk video game characters’ and one of my friends in the TSS, Modern Myths Cosplay, thought it would be cute to do Princess Peach and Princess Daisy.

I loved the idea and, after more discussion, we decided to do a steampunk twist on the Super Smash Bros Brawl version since it was fancier and seemed to lend itself well to a steampunk interpretation. Though Daisy isn’t officially in Brawl, my friend was fortunately able to dig up some fan edits of Peach in Daisy’s colours, so with that we were set.

I usually make my outfits myself, but since my friend and I wanted to ensure our cosplays matched, we decided to work collaboratively and divide things: I would create the bodices and accessories for both gowns, and she would create the skirts and crinolines.

I started off by drafting the base bodice patterns. Since I draft all my costumes, I used my existing bodice block/master patterns for myself and drafted a bodice block from scratch for my friend based on her measurements. One neat thing about working this way was that it basically turned into a girls’ weekend where I was able to teach my friend more about pattern drafting, which ended up making the process unexpectedly fun and memorable.

After I finished fitting my friend’s bodice block, I got to work drafting our bodice patterns based on the reference pics we had collected. Being able to tackle both bodices ended up working well since it enabled me to draft them in a way that made them visually match identical while taking our respective body shapes into account.

A couple of mockups and fittings later, we had an idea of how much fabric we needed, so we went fabric shopping. My friend suggested that we go with richer, more regal-looking tones instead of strictly game-accurate colours, so when we found a place selling gorgeous peau de soie and sparkle organza, I was instantly sold on a gold and burnt orange colour scheme.

We split the fabric based on our respective portions and worked on them separately. I cut and sewed the bodices, which was fairly straight forward but time-consuming! The part that sticks in my mind the most was the center front panel because it had so many pieces and layers - two types of satin, two types of organza (including one that had to be ruched to the base panel in multiple places), five rows of lace, interfacing...and that doesn’t even include the lining!

I also created our jewelry and crowns. The brooches and earrings were made from filigree settings that I painted, glued gems, and attached pin backs and earring hooks to, and the crowns are made from craft foam painted in gold acrylic, with embellishments assembled from painted filigree stampings and gems.

My friend created our cage skirts from 1/4 PEX pipe and brown grosgrain ribbon, which ended up being the perfect hoop skirt material since it was cheap, lightweight, and strong enough to support the huge, heavy skirts. She cut and sewed our skirts (including attaching meters and meters of trim that I’d painted white to better match the game colours) and she also made our bloomers.

The gowns were a huge undertaking and, thanks to work and general real life eating up time, we did end up engaging in the dreaded con crunch, but fortunately in the end we were able to get them to a state where they were pretty and wearable!

The response at the convention was absolutely amazing - I don’t think I’ve ever had a costume elicit the reactions that Princess Daisy did. We figured that, since we were cosplaying the princesses from Mario, there was a good chance we might be recognized, but the thing I wasn’t prepared for was how genuinely happy and excited people were, especially when they saw us together. We literally had kids waving at us from across the street when they spotted us.

Even grown-ups loved it - we were frequently stopped for pictures, and even a couple of the folks in the dealer’s room who were running booths would break into huge smiles and ask for pictures. Plus, people loved the steampunk twist and were delighted when they realized how much our costumes matched.

The best, most heartwarming response to my Princess Daisy cosplay happened when I met up with some other friends and one tapped me on the shoulder, pointed behind me and said, “I think she wants a picture with the princess.” I turned around and, standing a few feet away, was this adorable, super shy little black girl who was staring in my direction. My heart instantly melted and I went over to her and had a little chat and took a picture with her.

As a black cosplayer who has run several panels on BIPOC cosplay and spoken about the importance of diversity and representation in cosplay, being able to show that sweet little girl that someone who looks like her can be a princess - and showing kids of other races that Princess Daisy can be black - was a vivid reminder that representation does matter.

Since I got into the hobby, cosplay has been a big part of my life and has positively impacted me in so many ways. It has been an incredible creative outlet that has given me the chance to express myself, and it has allowed me to meet so many wonderful people - many of whom are now among my closest friends. However, I think one of the most rewarding things about cosplay has been how it has allowed me to provide BIPOC cosplay representation and visibility within my local cosplay community. I often do Afro-steampunk cosplay, and one of the most unexpectedly moving things I’ve experienced has been other BIPOC saying to me that seeing my outfits make them feel like they can cosplay.

It has been humbling and has motivated me to get more involved in the cons I attend. For the past several years I’ve run panels on diversity in cosplay/steampunk as well as sewing and cosplay construction, which has enabled me to share the knowledge and skills I’ve learned. I also lead the steampunk section of the Anime North Fashion Show, and I’ve made a point to recruit as diverse a roster of models as possible. I’m happy that we’ve been able to showcase steampunk looks inspired by various cultures including Chinese, Indian, and Morrocan.

Another plus is that the sewing skills I’ve learned from cosplay have come in handy in other areas of my life. It has been fun - and surprisingly empowering - to be at a point where I can use my sewing ability to create one-of-a-kind outfits for formal work events (like office holiday parties) that make me feel pretty and confident.

Something I’ve frequently mentioned during my BIPOC cosplay/steampunk panels is that the simple act of showing up to a con or event in cosplay can have an impact because you never know how much that visibility can inspire other BIPOC to get into the hobby, so my advice to anyone wanting to get into cosplay is to do it! Overall I have found it to be a fun, creative, energizing experience.

While I’ve been extremely fortunate to have had overwhelmingly positive experiences while cosplaying, I recognize that, unfortunately, BIPOC do sometimes face harassment and outright racist comments (especially online) that can make getting into the hobby seem scary. Finding welcoming, supportive spaces in person and online can be a big help (the POC Cosplay group on Facebook is great for this) - plus, thanks to things like #28DaysOfBlackCosplay, there is more visibility and inspiration out there than ever before.

The other thing I’d add is to treat each cosplay as a learning experience. Being able to work so closely with my friend on creating a cosplay was a completely different creation process than I’m used to, and it was really cool to be able to learn from each other’s different working styles and experience. It was great to teach her pattern drafting and see how happy she was to learn skills she could apply to future cosplays, and I was so excited when she showed me her PEX pipe hoop skirt method. Looking back on my Princess Daisy cosplay makes me smile because it’s almost like a physical representation of the fun we have cosplaying together.

[alpacaparkaseok]

7 Secrets <pt. 11>

GENRE: Soulmate!au BTS!

WARNINGS: whole lot of uwu that’s what

WORD COUNT: 4.8k

I just...no words. I’ve been wanting to get to this point for a hot minute now, so I’m glad we’ve made it. No, this isn’t quite the end. Although we’re getting there. *cue tears* Have a happy halloween this weekend! <3

By the time we make it back to the house it’s nearly evening, seeing as Jin decided to take a detour and get lost. Kyung-soon didn’t mind, she took the opportunity to re-listen to Seventeen’s new album. And then listen to it again.

We’re nearly there when we get a call from Taehyung. Jin puts it on the car speakerphone.

“Hyung! Where are you?”

“We’ve been lost, that’s where-” Jin cuts Kyung-soon off with glare.

“We were hiking and enjoying the island. We’ll be there in ten minutes. Are you guys getting ready to eat?”

As if on cue my stomach growls. Our last meal was this morning, and the granola bars have only held up for so long.

“Yeah, we’re finishing up with the food now. Guess what we’re doing tonight, though?”

A few voices can be heard in the background. It sounds like utter chaos at the house. The sound of it brings a smile to my face.

“What? What are we doing?”

“Production team just finished editing the final episode! We’re going to project it on the side of the house and watch it!”

I nearly choke, Kyung-soon turning around and staring at me in horror. Namjoon chuckles, patting me on the back while I recover.

“That was...fast.” I mumble. The production crew must have been working overtime in order to finish up the final episode so we could watch it on our trip.

Kyung-soon is in the middle of involuntarily cringing. “Oh no, this is going to be horrible. So cringey.”

I nod in agreement, Jin reaching over to grab Kyung-soon’s hand. The houses pop up in the distance - we’re almost there.

“Just pretend that it’s somebody else,” Jin tries to reassure his soulmate. “I promise, it’s really not bad. We were thoroughly entertained.” He grins at Namjoon through the rear-view mirror.

“Yeah, and besides, you guys have seen plenty of weird content from us. Consider this an even playing field.” Namjoon adds.

“Ok, I’ll see you - huh? Oh, Ichika says hi. Alright, see you in a second.” Taehyung cuts the call.

↔

The side of the boys’ house has turned into a temporary movie screen. Taehyung is in the process of popping popcorn while Jungkook and Jimin are giving a detailed overview of three years worth of episodes.

I think they’ve forgotten that we were very much a part of those three years. After all, it is a documentary about us.

Aera sits beside Minsuh, the two of them grinning like cheshire cats at their soulmates. They look like they’re thinking the same thing that I am.

“Yah, so where did the last episode leave off?” Aera questions, raising her eyebrows at Jimin.

“What, you don’t remember what happened two weeks ago?” Himari asks, chuckling.

Aera shrugs her shoulders. “It’s been a busy week for all of us, I can hardly remember what happened two days ago.”

Namjoon emerges from the house, a couple of blankets in hand. His eyes scan the small crowd before landing on me where I stand beside Seohyun. I’ve been trying to get a feel for how her and Yoongi’s conversation went earlier, but I don’t dare ask anything too direct with Yoongi right there. He holds her hand, looking content as she explains how she tried and failed at painting.

“Where did the last episode leave off, Joon-ah?” Hoseok asks when Jimin and Jungkook have a hard time remembering the finer details. Namjoon is in the process of spreading a blanket out on the ground, motioning for me to come over.

“Umm…” He chews on the inside of his cheek for a moment before snapping his fingers. “Aera had just pitched her new designs, and everybody made dinner for her when she got home. Then they were just getting Beth’s room ready for her to come back.”

Aera blinks as though just remembering that she has an actual job. A job she’s really, really good at.

“I can’t believe you forgot about that!” Aera feigns offense and Jimin freezes in his spot, eyes wide. “That’s my whole career we’re talking about, Jimin!”

Jungkook gives his friend a pat on the shoulder before walking over to plop into the seat beside Minsuh.

“I-I remember it now…” Jimin pouts, looking at his soulmate with puppy eyes. Aera glares at him, never one to give in easily. In fact, Aera is the fiercest when it comes to these kinds of things.

If I remember correctly, I’ve heard the boys state on several occasions that Jimin is absolutely terrifying when he’s mad.

“Hey,” Namjoon grabs my attention from the show up front. “Wanna sit? I got us an extra blanket for if we get cold.”

“Perfect.” I settle down on the blanket, laughing as Jimin tries his best to escape Aera’s wrath. She’s currently moving his chair to the opposite end, as far away from her as possible.

Minsuh turns around to look at me, her eyebrows wiggling mischievously. “Are you ready for this cringefest?”

Namjoon chuckles, settling down beside me. The butterflies in my stomach kick things up into high gear just from sitting beside him. He checks the time on his phone, his new background pulling my attention away for a moment.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I sigh. Namjoon places a comforting hand on my knee, smiling at me when he realizes that I’m looking at his lock screen.

“It really is that bad usually. I swear.” I roll my eyes, knowing a lie when I hear one. “Hey,” he nudges me. “Let’s see your new phone background.”

I excitedly fish my phone out of my pocket, already chuckling at the thought of our candid photo. Showing it to Namjoon, Minsuh and Jungkook wander over to see what we’re laughing about.

“Oh my gosh, that’s so cute!” Minsuh gushes, laughing at me. “I’m guessing you learned today that Beth is terrified of heights?”

Namjoon nods, shooting me a pitiful look. “I sure did. I’m pretty sure she bruised one of my ribs in the process.”

Jungkook proceeds to ask Namjoon about the hike, sounding like he wants to venture out there tomorrow. Jin and Kyung-soon come back out with Tae and Ichika, all of them carrying a couple of bowls each filled to the brim with popcorn.

“Movie time!” Jimin shouts from where he and Aera disappeared around the house. A moment later he appears with his chair in one hand and lugging a disgruntled Aera along with the other.

As soon as all the popcorn is distributed Yoongi flips on the projector from the back. A moment later the song “Psycho” by RedVelvet blasts through the speakers, and the episode begins.

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe they actually made that the theme song!” Seohyun shouts, already laughing as she and Minsuh appear on screen. Little title cards appear above their heads from where they study in the library, lost in their textbooks. I grin, all of this appearing a little surreal.

“I can’t believe we actually have a theme song!” Himari says. She’s the next one in the opening credits, trying and failing to flip a pancake. “Oh, come on, that’s how they introduce me?” Hoseok laughs beside her, his eyes darting from the screen back to his soulmate.

Next is Ichika, and I notice Taehyung scooting a little closer to her and she hides behind her hands. She’s opening the door to the apartment, her lopsided smile greeting the cameraman as she invites the cameras inside.

“This is the best part!” Jimin shouts.

The cameras follow Ichika inside the apartment and catch their next victim for the opening credits: Aera.

She’s clearly in a rush, probably running late for work. Careening down the stairs she freezes once she sees the camera, quickly pushing her hair out of her face as she waves before rushing out the door.

“See, told you it was the best part,” Jimin mumbles, Aera dissolving into a fit of giggles beside him.

Namjoon scoots closer, adjusting so that his right shoulder is just behind me. “Ready for the next part?” I can hear the smile in his voice.

Kyung-soon and I appear on screen, and I can hear my friend groaning from where she sits with Jin. We share a look across the way.

We’re sitting on the couch in the living room, locked in an intense game of rock, paper, scissors. Kyung-soon wins, and she throws her hands up in triumph right as our title cards appear. I get up wordlessly, walking straight out the door.

Despite how strange it is to be watching the documentary after all this time, I find myself shaking with laughter. Maybe we are kind of entertaining to watch, after all.

“Do you remember what we were playing for?” Kyung-soon asks me.

“I think it was over who had to call the takeout place.”

She laughs, returning her attention to the screen. I find myself avidly watching as well.

Episode basically from here until just before the end, enjoy! (actions/dialogue in real time will appear in as normal text, whereas the documentary is in italics)

Himari and Aera sit in the kitchen, both of them staring down at their breakfast. Himari glances up at Aera, noticing her worried expression.

“I’m sure they’ll call you soon. Anybody who turns you down is a complete idiot.”

Aera nods, not saying anything. Jimin reaches out to hold Aera’s hand. Minsuh comes in from down the hall, stretching.

“Morning,” she says around a yawn. “Any news A?”

Himari answers for her friend. “Not yet. What do you have going on today?”

Minsuh reaches for a bowl, waving at the kitchen camera like she does every morning. “Nothing much. I think Seohyun and I are going to study for a while, she’s going to help me prep for an exam I’ve got coming up. What about you guys?”

“Ichika and I have lessons. Want to join us, Aera? Brush up on your Japanese?”

“No,” Aera shakes her head. “I’m going to start getting Beth’s room ready.”

“Oh!” Himari grabs her phone from her back pocket. “That reminds me, I have to call that little punk.”

I gasp at Himari, my friend giving me a shy smile and shrugging.

Himari places the phone on speaker while the other two girls quietly eat their food and wait for me to answer.

“Was this the day before I flew out?” I ask no one in particular.

“Yeah, I think so.” Himari responds. Suddenly my voice cuts through the audio, and I physically cringe. Namjoon chuckles, reaching a hand up to steady me as I rock back against his chest.

“I knew you were going to call me,” I say, and Himari rolls her eyes while Minsuh snickers. “What’s up?”

“Are you all packed and ready to go?” Himari asks.

“Yeah, I think so. My flight leaves in...six hours. I’ll start heading to the airport in a couple of hours so I get there on time.”

“Hey, when’s the last time you logged anything?”

It’s silent on my side of the line for a while. “Er...a while.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“No, probably not.”

“Well this is me calling you and telling you to do your log before you leave. BigHit sent us some of those questions, answer them if you don’t know what to say.” My voice starts to cut in but Himari cuts me off. “I mean it! If you don’t I’m making sure you sleep on the couch when you get here.”

My sigh is audible, Aera looks up at Minsuh with the ghost of a smile.

“Ok, will do. I’ll log it as soon as I get off this call. How is everybody?”

Minsuh pipes up. “Hey Beth! We’re good!”

“Am I on speaker? Hey Min! Who else is there?”

“Just me,” Aera says, leaning closer to the phone. “I’m about to clean up your room so there aren’t any cobwebs. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, B. I miss you.”

“Aw, I miss you too A. You don’t have to worry about my room...but make sure nobody has stolen my Jeju Island photo. Where’s everybody else?”

The camera jumps to another location, answering my very question. Kyung-soon is walking up to a nice looking apartment, double checking some files before kindly greeting a couple. She must have had a client.

Again the camera jumps, this time to a different continent where I’m settling down before my camera as I record my first log in months. I’m sitting at my kitchen island in my apartment back in the states, a picture of all the girls and I hanging on the wall behind me.

“Hello camera, it’s me again. Sorry for not logging in a while, I’ve been busy. And now I’m about to leave in a couple of hours to catch my flight to Seoul.” I look at my phone before me, reading something off of it. “This will be pretty quick, but I’ve got some of the questions BigHit sent me, so I’ll try to answer a few before I have to leave. Sound good?”

I scroll through the list of questions, eyebrows furrowed as I try to find a good one. “Hmm, it looks like these have gotten more and more personal over the years. I guess I’ll go with this one: ‘what do you look forward to the most returning to Seoul?’”

Shuffling in my seat I bite my lip as I stare down the camera. “I think I just get excited to be back with everybody. I know I don’t usually say anything like this, but I really miss them when I’m gone. I’m kind of stranded out here in the states. It’s hard to be here and know that all six of them get to stay together while I jump around from place to place. At least I’ll get to stay for a solid six months this time around, maybe more. Just depends.”

Namjoon fidgets behind me until he’s directly behind me. Slowly he pulls me back against his chest until I’m laying with my head tucked under his chin.

“Wow, this one’s intense. Should I just answer it? I doubt anybody will actually ever watch this. I feel like my logs are pretty boring. It says, ‘if you could go back and say anything to yourself three years ago, what would you say?’”

I lean back against my chair, pushing my hair out of the way. “I’m not sure I would really say much. There was just so much going on, it was information overload. I remember when I woke up the next morning, I thought everything was a dream. My sister had no clue, so I just left her a note and left our hotel to go on a run.” I laugh a little, recalling the memory. “I probably looked so crazy! This white girl running around Seoul like a maniac. I finally got to a point where I stopped, and finally was starting to calm down. Then, ha! Oh my gosh I remember this like it was yesterday, seriously. I checked my phone and saw that I had a notification from Weverse. It said ‘RM commented on so and so’s post’ and I lost it. Right there in the middle of this random park I started bawling. I was so overwhelmed.”

Namjoon’s grip tightens on me, and I take a deep breath. I’d honestly forgotten that I’d even done this log, I really didn’t think they’d put it into the documentary.

“So if I could go back to three years ago, I think I’d go to that moment and just give myself a hug. I was so terrified and had nobody to talk to. I’d hug myself, and say, you figure out how to keep moving forward. Just enjoy the ride, because it’s a crazy one.”

The screen fades out, my voice still narrating as I talk over the others girls’ actions. Kyung-soon is helping that couple to sign some paperwork.

“It’s definitely been crazy, but I’m better because of it.” I narrate and Kyung-soon gives an award winning smile to the couple, saying her goodbyes before heading back to her car.

Now we’re watching Minsuh laugh about something with Himari in the kitchen.

“I don’t want to think about where I’d be without my soul sisters, they mean so much to me. I really never thought I’d meet people as amazing as them in my life.”

Aera is in my room, sweeping and straightening my photo of Jeju Island.

“Sometimes I still wonder if there’s been a huge mistake and I’ll get a call from BigHit saying that I don’t actually have a soulmate. Things are so good that I think they may be too good.”

Seohyun jogs in a park, making faces at the camera each time she passes in front of it.

“But I’ll just keep living this dream for as long as fate will let me.”

Ichika struggles up the stairs to the apartment, grocery bags all over the place. The camera shakes as it’s set on the ground, and the cameraman assisting her.

“And as for the last question for this log… ‘if you could say a single sentence to your soulmate, what would you say?’”

Suddenly we’re back in my apartment, where I give a side smile to the camera.

“Hey Namjoon, wanna go out sometime?” Winking at the camera I lean up and turn it off.

The screen goes black, and then words cut across the screen.

Final Installment- Episode 132 “Finally.”

Everybody comes back to life as the introduction to the final episode ends and the rest of the episode starts up. Namjoon leans down to whisper in my ear.

“I’m sorry for making you cry in the park that morning.”

I shake my head. “I can’t believe you’re apologizing for that and not for trying to kill me earlier.”

My body shakes with Namjoon’s laugh, and we settle down to continue watching the documentary before us.

Kyung-soon stands in the living room with a huge mass of balloons before her. Minsuh comes up behind her, staring in awe.

“That’s a lot of balloons.”

Kyung-soon nods, biting her bottom lip. “Do you think it’s too much?”

“No, I think it looks great. Just, how are we going to get them into the car?”

“I have no idea.”

The two of them discuss possible game plans as Himari wanders in looking at her phone.

“Ok everyone! She’s over the ocean between us and Japan. We should probably get going. Wow,” she finally notices the balloons. “Looks good, Soon-ah. Don’t fly away, though. Seokjin would be so upset.”

Footsteps sound as the other three girls come in, each one’s attention going straight to the balloons.

“Ha! That’s amazing.” Ichika says. “She’s going to die when she sees that.”

The scene cuts to the airport, the girls anxiously waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Himari once again checks her phone for my flight information.

“It says that the flight landed fifteen minutes ago, she should be here any second.”

Aera nudges her. “Yah, you’re acting like your long lost lover has finally returned.”

Himari raises her eyebrows. “And?”

“Oh, there she is!” Seohyun shouts, and sure enough I appear on camera. Hat down low and a mask on I wave at everyone. A few people pause to look at all the commotion before continuing on.

Namjoon whispers to me again. “You look like a celebrity with your hat and mask.”

I chuckle, watching my reunion with the girls that only happened earlier this week. “I felt like one, too.”

My soulmate lets out a breathy laugh when the girls start teasing me, asking me what my reaction would be if he were the one to pick me up from the airport.

“You know, I’ve noticed that you’re really good at avoiding teasing.”

“I’ve had lots of practice.”

The documentary skips to our apartment, the girls hanging out in the living room debating whether or not to wake me up or let me sleep.

“I’m going to wake her up, she’s probably starving.” Aera says, and Minsuh follows her out of the room. The other girls remain in the room, Seohyun talking about one of her classes.

I nearly fall asleep in Namjoon’s arms, it’s so comfy. What brings me out of my stupor is the distinct sound of Seohyun’s rendition of “Mic Drop” and everybody laughing along with her.

I watch as we enjoy the show, Kyung-soon announcing to everyone that we’re going on ahead. Suddenly I jolt up, Namjoon jumping at the sudden movement. I remember what comes after this.

“What’s wrong?” Namjoon asks. “Did you see a bug?”

“No…” My attention is pulled into the documentary as Kyung-soon and I quietly converse. “It’s just - that was a hard night for me. That’s all.”

I can feel Namjoon’s eyes assessing me but I refuse to look at him for fear of him seeing right through me.

“If you’re uncomfortable we can go inside,” he offers.

Finally I look over to him. He calmly returns my gaze, awaiting my answer.

“I think I’m fine for now. Just, don’t judge me, ok?”

Namjoon nods fervently. “Never.” Extending his arms out, he pulls me back into his chest. “Let me know if you want to leave, and we’ll go.”

Kyung-soon and I appear on the balcony of our apartment, where we both study the stars above us.

“I can’t-”

“You have to. Beth, please don’t lock us out and keep all of these feelings to yourself. You don’t have to tell us every little thing, but you need to talk about it. Just because you don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean that you won’t feel scared or worried anymore.”

The tension is palpable as my sobs cut through the silence. I’m pretty sure Namjoon stopped breathing.

“I look at our boys, and I feel like they’re already complete. They have each other, they have ARMY, they’re complete. They have no idea that soulmates are even a thing, let alone that they have soulmates. There’s a part of me that’s mad about that. Mad that for the last three years I’ve been waiting for a man that is already happy without me, that is already more loved that he can even fathom. Mad at freaking Mr. Bang, because he refuses to tell them until the ‘time is right’. It’s been three years! And I’ve picked myself back up and tried my hardest to continue on in my career, and it’s fulfilling. I have the most amazing friends in the world, my family is so loving and supportive, and I love my job. So why do I feel so lonely?”

Namjoon wraps his arms around me tightly, and I feel that strange ache in my chest again. This time, though, it aches and aches until it cracks. With it, come the tears.

Like a dam come undone the tears flow from my eyes as the echoes of my sobs from the documentary cut through the night. Namjoon holds me tighter, tighter until he’s all I can feel.

“You know what, come here.” Namjoon says, his voice thick. He stands, pulling me up with him. We’re near the back, so nobody really notices us as Namjoon pulls me away. He leads me around my beach house until we’re completely blocked from view. The audio from the documentary follows me, and I keep my eyes trained on the ground as the tears blur my vision.

Namjoon finally comes to a stop, his hands resting firmly on my shoulders. I can’t bring myself to look up at him, thoroughly humiliated at one of my most vulnerable moments being on full display.

“Beth, look at me.” I shake my head, angrily wiping away my tears. He reaches up to catch a tear as it rolls down my cheek. “Look at me. Please.”

Again I shake my head, completely mortified at the situation I’m in. Wasn’t this supposed to be a fun trip? Worry-free?

“Ok, that’s ok. You don’t have to.” Namjoon moves to grab my shoulders again. “I just need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me?”

I clench my teeth as I nod, trying so hard to keep in my sobs.

“Alright. I am so-” his voice cracks and he takes a moment before speaking again. “I am so sorry, Beth. For all of it. For making you feel that way. I wish - I just wish we could have avoided all that heartache and pain. You were so strong, for so long. You still are, I can see that. From the second we first met I saw that you are strong and the most incredible person to ever walk the earth. I might be a bit biased,” I croak out a laugh which seems to spur him on, “but nobody can change my mind about you. I was lonely, too. Did you know that? Even with all the love I receive every day, I’m still lonely. Do you know how infuriating that is?”

Steeling my nerves I peak up at him. My heart twists further when I see the tears running down my soulmate’s face. He continues on, paying them no mind.

“I felt like there was something so wrong with me, but I learned with time that it’s normal. Everybody feels lonely. It’s a horrible feeling, and confusing sometimes. Especially when it feels like you have every reason to be happy. But we’re human. This is part of our human experience, as much as it sucks. Beth,” Namjoon rests a hand under my chin when my eyes fall again, gently urging me to look up at him. “I don’t feel alone anymore. That’s because of you. Just seeing you, I feel like everything is going to be alright. Do you see how amazing that is? I’m not lonely anymore. Please, Beth.” He releases a shaky breath, the earnestness in his eyes bringing a fresh wave of tears to my eyes. “Let me try. I don’t want you to feel alone anymore. Let me in,” Namjoon gestures to his heart, “and I swear I’ll never leave.”

Staring up at him, I know he’s telling the truth. I can tell he means every word he’s saying. But I have to know. I have to ask.

“You’ve been promising a lot of things,” I mutter, inhaling sharply as the tears rush down my face. “Are you sure you can keep all your promises? Please, Namjoon. Please don’t promise me something you can’t keep.”

Gently brushing the tears from my face, Namjoon leans in. Slowly, and close enough that I can see the light reflected in the tears still on his face. My heart, limp and weak as it may be, jumps at the close proximity.

“Do you mind if I make another promise?” Namjoon whispers before his lips brush up against my cheek. I freeze as he licks the salty mixture from his lips before moving to the other side.

“N-no,” I mumble.

Just there, the only warning I have is the feeling of his warm breath before he sweetly kisses away the remaining tears on my other cheek.

He pulls away just enough to look into my eyes. “I promise that I will never make you a promise that I cannot keep.”

Eyes drifting down to my mouth he tilts my head up ever so slightly. My eyes drift shut of their own accord, the only thing keeping me tied to the earth being Namjoon’s hands that hold me like I may break at any moment.

The first brush of his lips takes my breath away, the feeling so light that I wonder for a brief moment if this isn’t all just in my head.

Slowly he deepens the kiss, just enough for the salty tang of my tears on his lips to seep into my senses. The bittersweet taste has me reaching out to him, hands fisting the material over his chest. I cling to my soulmate as he clings to me, and even the world slows for a moment in order to accommodate this moment. Fate has never been my friend, but in this sliver of time I feel that it has been uncommonly kind to me.

By the time we pull away, resting our foreheads together, the ache in my heart has subsided. Namjoon’s hands slide down to my waist, holding me in place. As if I’d go anywhere.

I look up at my soulmate only to find his eyes still shut, drinking in the moment. Taking the precious seconds fate has given me, I study him out. Bliss suits him.

As though feeling my gaze, his eyes slide open. A small smile crosses his features, and the word that I have come to associate with Kim Namjoon over the past couple of days reappears in my mind’s eye, hanging over us like the stars in the sky.

Perfect.

Previous - Next

Taglist is open! Happy Halloween this weekend everyone! Thoughts? They finally kissed! (lol, finally. they’ve known each other for what, two or three days?) I love these two. Stay safe and healthy! 

taglist: @mae-musicbitch @taylorroe3​ @heartblackerthancoffee @eusticenatalie @agustneeds

[the-penguin-of-baskervilles]

What happened to u? U okay?

Hello!

First off, thank you for your concern. I appreciate it and I needed it after the past two days. To answer your question - I'm doing great.

I don’t have a lot of context about your question, but I’m guessing your concern is due to my recent blocking spree. A day ago, I went through my followers list and found some minors. I’ve previously seen smut fanfic writers concerned by underage people interacting with their posts. Until I had to block a few of them, I wasn’t aware how uncomfortable it would make me feel.

Since the blocking spree, I've had a lot of thoughts. I'm about to spew them everywhere. You might regret asking me if I was okay. Sorry about that. No one needs to read this whole manifesto about my rollercoaster of emotions the past few days. But in the interest of transparency, I'm posting this very long note.

What I want my readers to know is the following:

Tumblr is both a place for fanfiction and a social media site.

When I interact with followers and write explicit content, I have to be careful about what I'm saying and who I'm saying it to.

I don't intend to block or purge my followers in the future.

As long as I appropriately tag and put warnings on my work, that is adequate protection for my blog. Everything I write containing explicit content is tagged.

However, I won't interact with users who don't have an age stated in their bio.

There have to be boundaries, given the content of my writing. But I've also come around to the realization that I'm not capable of policing every interaction. Tumblr is a public forum. Minors following me makes me uncomfortable. But by the same token, my work is clearly labeled at 18+ and so is my blog.

There's a lot of explicit content out there for minors if you really think about it. In my high school freshman English class we talked about the book "The Color Purple." Believe me, that was explicit and we were only 14. Any minor with a library card and a Google browser can access a lot more intense content than what I write. I hope they're all being safe, but I can't have a melt down blocking spree again.

I'm not a cop, I'm not a parent, and what minors consume is down to them and the adult responsible for them. If I know someone is a minor I'll block them, should I notice they're trying to interact with me. Otherwise, I'm not purging my followers ever again. It's too much drama. I'd rather leave Tumblr than do that twice. I'm tired and I'm starting to work on my post graduate classes, I work full time in a demanding job, I'm in the process of editing my novel, and trying to keep up with my personal life. Quite literally, I don't have time to block. Writing fanfic is supposed to be my fun time. Let's keep it that way.

Due to the fact that some people I blocked were later unblocked after I took a closer look at their blogs, I'm posting a full explanation below. A quick summary is this:

After only writing for three months, I'd amassed 500 followers. On Monday I blocked almost 200 of them. Then I reviewed my block list and editing down some people who were prematurely blocked. [I assume the anon is one of the unblocked who had me disappear from their dash. Sorry!] This blocking thing isn't sustainable. In the future I'll run my blog differently as far as interaction goes in an effort to be responsible.

Continue reading for the saga of:

The Great Blocking Spree and Existential Crisis of an Erotic Fanfic Writer.

The Blocking Spree:

On Monday I realized a thirteen year old was following me and interacting with my work. This creeped me out.

*Commence blocking spree*

Then I realized how daunting my followers list was. I had 500 followers prior to Monday. That day I blocked about 200 people (some of them prematurely - more on that later.) So after the daunting task of trying to assume, to check bios for ages, to review blog content and determine the user's age, I was tired. Today, I even took a moment to reconsider if I wanted to use Tumblr. Because if all this is my responsibility, maybe I don't have the time or dedication to manage it. When I can be chill, I try to be. This attitude also affected by blocking. It contributed to me unblocking people. When I was doing the blocking spree, I'd give people with no age in their bio a fair shot by reviewing their posts.

I blocked some bot accounts, then a bunch of blank blogs, some ambiguous people who very well could be of age. For the first 100 followers I was pretty aggressive. Then my attention span dropped off and I was a bit more ambivalent. I realized I was doing a crappy job of moderating and wondered what the point was.

The point was that the thirteen year old interacting with my work freaked me out. When I found two sixteen year old followers, it pushed me to continue the purge.

So on I go, blocking. I'm so responsible for doing this, right? But my methodology is crap. What is context for being an adult? Someone had posted about budgeting advice. I thought the budgeting advice was too good for it not to have come from an adult. But my father's a financial advisor and to be honest, I could have given that level of advice at fifteen just from osmosis. Someone had pictures of themselves entering their marijuana plants in the Oregon State Fair. Okay, you've got to be over 18. I didn't block them. Someone else complained about their stats professor and I didn't block them. But in retrospect, one of my high school friends got permission to take college level math courses when we were seniors. She was seventeen when she had a stats professor. The thought circles back - what am I accomplishing here? Next, I went back and unblocked someone who ranted about her Tinder matches being 60 year old men. I wondered if their post was even real. I've lied on the internet before. Nonetheless, I persisted and worked through all 500 followers. When I was done I had 312 followers left.

Post Blocking Spree Existential Crisis:

I know that all the blocking in the world can't stop a teenager who wants to read smut fanfic. I'm not much for posting on social media and I'm not used to a lot of anonymous interaction online. Honestly, I got rid of my SM accounts during college when I felt it was wasting my time. This is the first time I've really use a social media site to post content since college. My twitter account is unused, my Instagram is for close personal friends only, and my TikTok is for mindless consumption of cat videos. (I've trained the algorithm to feed me only cat videos, it's great and I highly recommend it.) I don't post on TikTok, so I don't consider it full use, just lurking.

Okay, Alice, get back to the point....

Right, being anonymous on social media. My blocks are a fence and it's based on self identification from the blogs that follow me. I have little faith in underage consumers to out themselves. I have even less faith in their honesty or respect for an adult's boundaries. They're at a stage in life where they want to push the boundaries. Telling them no is all but inviting them in. I did my blocking spree because I was worried about backlash from someone's parents. But what reasonable judge would come after a fanfic writer? Come on. Logical thoughts but me emotional distress was still brewing.

Why I am the one responsible for who clicks the follow button on my blog? I've always clearly identified what I write and tagged my work as smut.

That thought snapped me out of my whirlwind of anxious thoughts. So I started looking into the laws. My regular work involves medicine, not the legal profession, so I was lost. I found some state level laws that made me glad I'd gone on a blocking spree. California and Florida have specific language in their laws about 'providing minors with explicit content.' But what exactly is that? What I researched applied to the following activities: co-writing smut fanfic with other people, sexting, roleplaying and online messaging.

I run a fanfic blog with limited interaction. I've never done an ask. I don't roleplay on here and I don't want to.

The blocks weren't personal. They were partly based on the awareness that Tumblr is an interactive site and a place that's had a problem with child pornography in the past. But I'm not the smut police. I suck at blocking, and I doubt I did a good job of purging my followers list. This is when it hit me that boundaries are only what I can enforce. They've never been about how other people relate to me, only how I relate to them. (Wow. I've never sounded more like my mother in my life...) After this thought, I started considering what actions I ought to take if I wanted to keep posting fanfic on Tumblr.

My Post Blocking Spree Clarity...

It's up to me who I interact with. I don't have to reply to every comment and re-blog, but I'd like to. I'm stuck between wanting to write for everyone and handling interactions on a social media site that's mostly anonymous.

The fact remains: I can't be the smut police because I suck at it.

What I've decided is that I'll make it very clear on my blog that this is an 18+ space where I publish erotic fanfiction. Smut will always be appropriately marked. I'm not going to interact with reviews, re-blogs, and messages from accounts who don't have their age in their profile. I won't include them in my tag list either. The internet is a public forum. Just as with publishing erotica, once it's out there online for download, it's done. As a ghost writer and an author, I don't control who buys my original fiction, which is just as spicy as my fanfiction. (Trust me, it's explicit. I once had a romance editor tell me I should dial it back on the smutty parts of a novel because "it's a lot of sex for a non-erotica market.") The key difference on Tumblr is about interaction. And that's something I can control. I can decide when I reply to other users. What brought me around to this was the realization that even after the blocking spree, I can't review every single like I get. That's an amount of time and mental energy that's beyond me. Just the past two days have been exhausting and sapped my will to write. Which sucks because I need to go write the next chapter of "Restitution" before tomorrow.

I think the reasons I went on the blocking spree are nuanced. The thirteen year old freaked me out. So did the other underaged people who had ages in their bios. But it also relates to my work. In my job I've seen some nasty child abuse cases. Early on in my career, when I was a 23 year old new hire, I was working on an autopsy for a child abuse victim who'd been murdered by their parent. It was so terrible and graphic, I had to ask one of my older colleagues to take the case. This colleague didn't like me. But she took one look at my face and took the file. She closed out the review without a question and never brought it up again to anyone. I was very grateful. Where I used to work (and where this incident took place) was a major city that holds the unfortunate title of being the human trafficking capital of the US. And something I learned working there was that most human trafficking victims go with their captors willingly. In two years at that job, I never saw one who'd been kidnapped from a dark alley like you see on TV. They were all groomed on social media and thought they were escaping their families (who were often overbearing, toxic, or dysfunctional) for a get away with friends. It was a fun adventure with their internet buddies, until it wasn't.

In retrospect, the underage interaction I found on my blog made me react because of what I've been through. The autopsy case kept coming back to me today while I was at work and I've finally untangled my emotions enough to figure out what caused my melt down. When I was blocking, I was feeling an anxious motivation that I know can only stem from the stress I deal with at my job. Don't feel sorry for me about this - I know my work in medicine helps a lot of people and it's a tremendously satisfying career.

Our Saga's Resolution & How I'm Going to Deal With This In The Future...

- - - - -

In post block clarity, I offer this conclusion:

I'm writing on a public forum. My work is appropriately tagged as smut. In the future, I will also use the tag #no minors to help with filtering. I've always asked underage people not to interact. And on a public forum, what more can I reasonably do? Going forward I will only interact with those who have their age posted in their bio. But blocking sprees and policing every interaction isn't feasible.

I'll review how I'm going to run my tag lists as well. I need to think it over and let my followers know my decision as to if I'll continue using them. Because tagging is definitely interaction and my current tag list was not screened at all. *face palm*

Finally, to my readers who have blank blogs or don't have an age listed. I respect your right to privacy and I'm careful with my personal information as well. But I've also had an uncomfortable two days. If you've lasted through this venting session until now, you must understand that I'm upset by underage interaction. I'm setting my own boundaries and going forward, I'll own my side of the internet. No interaction from me, unless I know your age. Full stop - no exceptions. I think it is reasonable for me to suggest that you leave something on your blog that signifies you are not a minor, whatever that may be. Someone who I didn't block that stands out in my memory had a bio that said "90s baby." It was simple, direct, and left no doubt they were over 18. No age reveal and not even a name. If you put something like this on your blog it'll help explicit content creators feel more comfortable about their interactions.

I went on a spree this Monday and I admit to being heavy handed and aggressive about pruning followers. I had an emotional reaction due to work stress and I didn't think things through logically. I'm relieved for the chance explain myself and set new boundaries that I'm capable of sticking to in the future. But remember - the block button is on my side of the screen. At the end of the day, you might be unhappy with me for the block, but it's my button, it's my blog, and I'll use it as I see fit.

Thank you for reading.

[tiaragqueen]

Hai! I hope you are having a good day/evening so far! May I request a yandere tanjiro x reader? I'm craving for more tanjiro content at this time due to.. Sad circumstances. It could be soft or hard yandere tanjiro. Whatever you feel! Thank you :D

Indemnity

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Tanjirō Kamado x Reader

✂ Word Count: 1k+

✂ Trigger Warnings: Mention of injury, obsessiveness

[Edited]

***

I'm sorry, hun. I hope this cheers you up even for a little :) writing this makes me realize just how much I need a Tanjirō in my life.

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

“Let me be your soldier, I will go to war for you and protect your heart. Ooh, ooh, I'm really feelin' you, and I pray to God that you really are feelin' me too.” - Soldier [Corey]

“[Name]-chan, do you need anything else? Blanket? Tea? Your haori?”

You slowly turned towards him, the polite smile froze your lips as you dismissed him. Although the constant questions were beginning to grate your nerves, you couldn’t bear to get angry at him. Not when all he did was trying to make your life felt a bit better, even if it meant sacrificing his comfort in the process.

“No, thank you. I’m fine. You can go back inside, Tanjirō.”

But you knew that regardless of how many times you reassured him, he wouldn’t believe you. How could he, when the last time he trusted your words you almost died in front of him? Anyone would be traumatized, and honestly, you couldn’t blame him for feeling so much self-hatred despite being just as innocent as yourself. Tanjirō had always been so hard on himself, even before his family got massacred. He felt like it was his duty to bear whatever burden they had, just so he could ease their pain. It was both heartwarming and heartbreaking to watch.

You almost wished he wasn’t so kind, sometimes.

Tanjirō smiled, and yet, it seemed more nervous than relieved. It wasn’t his intention to overwhelm you with a sudden influx of attention – not that he hadn’t been sensitive to your needs before – but his fear forbade him from ever resting properly despite your state. He was trying to be a good boyfriend to you; someone you could depend on in times of desperation and help you regardless of the time and place. Never mind that he looked more like a servant to other people – hell-bent on spoon-feeding you when you could perfectly do it by yourself – he just wanted to be the best as he could be in your eyes.

He didn’t know that he was already perfect to you, nor could he bring himself to believe such a ludicrous claim when you confessed it.

“I failed to protect you. How could you say that I’m a perfect lover?” he inquired so earnestly you almost thought he was imploring you; begging for proof to back up your visceral statement. His eyes glistened with unshed tears, and you wondered if it was a good thing that he wasn’t Zenitsu who wouldn’t hesitate to bawl on your lap. He could smell people’s deepest feelings and strived to make them realize it, and yet, he often ignored his.

Because he was the firstborn, so he couldn’t whine and complain. What kind of reason was that you had no idea.

“It wasn’t your fault. Nobody could fully predict that demon’s attacks.” You tried to comfort him, however, he only shook his head. His face had been resolute that night like he’d convinced himself that everything was his fault and was determined to fix it.

“No, it’s not too late.” Whether he murmured that to you or himself, you weren’t sure, but the hint of finality didn’t go unnoticed. Snapping his head towards you, he leaned forward and clasped your hands. “I’ll train harder this time, I promise. No demons would be able to land a hand on you again, that’s my vow.”

Any attempt to deter him would be futile, you knew that much, so you settled with a tired yet resigned sigh. You’d wondered why the warmth of his palms didn’t match the intensity of his feelings, or if your skin was just too cold.

“I don’t want you to catch a cold later,” he whispered, a silent plea to invite you inside. Minor illnesses sounded life-threatening to him now, and you couldn’t say that you didn’t feel the least bit exasperated.

“It’s just a cold, not a stab wound.”

You intended it to be a joke – a cruel one, yet a joke nonetheless – but it was obvious that he didn’t take it very well from his instinctive flinch. Tender eyes dulled momentarily as memories of talons grazing and piercing your stomach flashed on his mind. Reminiscing them sent a pang of a dull ache that gripped his chest and churned his stomach.

“I’m sorry.” He blinked in surprise when you opened your mouth. “It was thoughtless of me to joke about that.”

Tanjirō blinked repeatedly for another minute before tittering. “It’s okay. No harm’s done.” And yet, his expression remained tense. “Sorry I can’t grasp your humor right.”

He bowed as though ashamed by that minor flaw. It looked like he was subtly exaggerating things – and sometimes you wondered if he purposefully manipulated you too – but you couldn’t deny its sincerity.

Sighing, you reached out to pat his head. “Don’t feel so glum. Nobody’s perfect, after all.” And yet, he endeavored to be one to you. “If we’re similar, wouldn’t that make things more boring?”

You smiled, and Tanjirō felt his cheeks heated up at the simple gesture. Moved by its gentleness, he cradled the back of your head and slowly planted his lips on yours. Under the silvery moonlight on your porch, you exchanged your first kiss in such a long time. It was gentle, befitting his nature. Your lips molded perfectly with each other as if they were created to be one. His other hand snaked around your waist, bringing you closer to him. Your eyes fluttered shut, beginning to enjoy the slow rhythm, while your arms embraced his neck and occasionally tugged on those auburn locks. Tanjirō grunted, and it seemed to spur him even more.

At that moment, you were glad that Nezuko was asleep in the room next to yours.

Tanjirō withdrew to catch his breath, forehead resting against yours. His eyes would occasionally flicker to you, trying to gauge your emotion beneath that flustered face. However, you merely shook your head and stood up. A hand appeared before him instead, a soundless acceptance to his invitation, and happiness immediately washed away any trace of disappointment. Clasping his hand with yours, Tanjirō calmly rose from the floorboard and let you lead the way. A small, contented smile graced his features as he admired your profile and leaned forward to playfully peck your nape. He chuckled when you shot him a glare over your shoulder to cover the blush and beamed.

“You’re so cute, [Name]-chan,” he remarked, squeezing your intertwined fingers affectionately. “I’m happy to be with you.”

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Alt-pop newcomer LVRA (pronounced loo-rah, real name Rachel Lu) has shared her first new track of 2021, ‘DEAD’. Following up on 2020’s debut EP LVCID, she explains: “There’s a unique power you gain when you stop caring about what people think of you. It’s an ongoing battle, though, and ‘DEAD’ is about the conflict between the fantasy of not caring and how you feel in reality. The video captures that, with a version of myself who has her shit together and another that is fighting to survive.The use of red represents fear in the human condition, but in Chinese culture it also symbolises happiness. One rarely comes without the other.” The track – a cultural mix that matches LVRA’s heritage with bleeding edge ultra HD pop – is the first taster of a second EP, which is set to follow later this summer. You can check out an Oscar McNab (Lacuna Common, Oscar Lang). directed video above. [via Dork]

Los Angeles artist Wallice follows debut single 'Punching Bag' with new coming of age anthem, '23'. Wallice finds herself caught between two places on fresh cut, '23'. “Too old to be a runaway”, but also too young to consider herself as grown up, the 22-year old yearns for a past that still has not happened yet. Working with producer David Marinelli since her return to California, Wallice has crafted a sound that is unique without taking itself too seriously. An angst-driven remonstration at the powerlessness of her age, '23' is also the clearest stamp of her musical identity to date. The expression of this purgatory is a cathartic garage-rock headbanger complemented beautifully by Wallice’s playful lyrics. “I just can't wait to be / all grown up and 23,” she admits in the song’s irresistible chorus. “Tell me what is wrong with me / I miss my Ohio fake ID”. In artfully portraying the limbo state of the age, Wallice describes the events in her life that have led to her own disaffection. “It’s hard not to compare your own professional success to that of your similarly aged peers. I dropped out of university in New York after studying Jazz Voice for a year, and my dad was VERY disappointed, to say the least, so it was hard not to feel like a loser in that sense. “The specific age 23 doesn’t have any milestones associated with it, but it’s more the idea of just looking forward to the future,” Wallice continues on the meaning of the track. "Much like how people ‘reset’ every new year, it’s comparable to be ‘older and wiser’ with each birthday, but instead of constantly looking to the future, it is important to be happy with where you are”. [via Line Of Best Fit]

Coach Party have shared their new single 'Everybody Hates Me'. The Isle of Wight group are gearing up to release their incoming EP, with After Party pitting their potent indie pop influences against bittersweet lyricism. Out shortly, the EP is teased by new thumper 'Everybody Hates Me', with Coach Party adding a neat gloss to their guitar pop sound. Out now, 'Everybody Hates Me' comes equipped with a neat video steered by Daniel Broadley. Vocalist Jess Eastwood comments: “‘Everybody Hates Me’ isn’t a metaphor for anything; it’s literally about those times when you convince yourself that everyone, including your best friends don’t actually like you, and your self-confidence is so low that you don’t even blame them. Disguise that sentiment in an up-beat singalong, and there you have the third single from our new record. The video is a direct extension of the song. It swings between the insecurities of feeling like you’re not good enough amongst your friends, and the sense of unity you get from those same people when you finally wake up from your rut. Everyone feels that way from time to time, but you gotta remember that sometimes your irrational self is going to take over. And when it does, try to remember that you’re awesome, and your friends really are your friends.” [via Clash]

Pussy Riot have gone hyperpop on their latest song 'Toxic'. The Dorian Electra collaboration features glitched out production by Dylan Brady of 100 gecs and tackles a relationship gone bad. Written, directed, and edited by Pussy Riot’s Nadya Tolokonnikova, the music video features jarring, bloody imagery matching Brady’s production. “Care about yourself, cherish your mental health, and stay away from relationships that poison you!” Tolokonnikova writes in the YouTube description. “Amen.” In the song’s lyrics, Tolokonnikova tells off an ex. “You are my daily poison so annoying,” she sings. “You’re even more toxic than my employer.” The hook continues the theme. “This combo is deadly — ’cause we used to be friendly,” Electra laments. “And now my heart is a weapon / You made me… toxic.” [via Consequence of Sound]

Baby Queen has dropped a brand new track, ‘These Drugs’. Bella Latham’s second new track of the year – following up on the anthemic ‘Raw Thoughts’ – she explains in an Instagram post: “This is a story I really needed to tell you and I didn’t know how to for a long time. When I first wrote this song, I honestly didn’t think I was going to be allowed to release it or that releasing it would be a particularly good idea. It just felt really important and that’s all I’ve ever wanted music to be; so I knew I had to share it with you.I was in a very bad place at the time… very depressed and convinced I wasn’t a good person and didn’t deserve good things. Life is different now. I’m happy. I’ve learnt that the antidote to my misery is gratitude and caring about myself even when I don’t want to, until it becomes a habit. It’s natural to look for escapism but there’s more freedom in working to build a life you like… and by that I literally just mean learning to love yourself. You, with all your scars and all your regrets, are home to an actual life! You’ve been through so much and you’ve come out the other side stronger because of it – it’s remarkable really. You’ve got to invite the sad parts of yourself in to have a tea party with you. Don’t ignore them and cover them up. If you don’t look at them, they’ll make themselves seen! You are so worthy of love and I hope that if you don’t see that yet, you will learn to in time. Anyways guys,” she finishes, “this is all very intense. I love you very much and I hope you can understand and relate in some way.” [via Dork]

Greentea Peng has shared her new single 'Nah It Ain’t The Same'. The UK neo-soul voice is an outstanding talent, someone who pushes herself further into that hip-hop / jazz nexus with each release. Produced by Earbuds, new single 'Nah It Ain't The Same' is out now, one that reflects the chemistry she has with her live band The Seng Seng Family. Dipping into drum 'n' bass, her vocals have a calming, beatific feel, with 'Nah It Ain't The Same' tugging at matters personal. She comments: “Deliberations of a (hu) MAN, subject to the pendulum's swing, I give you ‘Nah It Aint The Same’ off my album MAN MADE. An expression and exploration of my utter confusion and inner conflicts amidst shifting paradigms.” Greentea Peng stars in the new video, with Machine Operated sculpting the video. [via Clash]

renforshort has debuted a brand new single, ‘virtual reality’. The first taster of a forthcoming second EP, the track sees her “connect” with Kellen Pomeranz (Pom Pom), Jesse Fink and Beabadoobee collaborator Pete Robertson. “’virtual reality’ is a song that tackles many topics. But at its core, it really is about anxiety, routine, boredom, isolation, loneliness, and fear,” she explains. “I think a lot of people have a very unhealthy relationship with technology because it’s never really been restricted enough to consider mental health and overall health, and that has fucked so many people up, now more than ever. Ever since I was young, social media has played a major role in my mental wellbeing, and I became so accustomed to it, it became a part of my routine and it came before everything else. The moment I wake up, almost instinctively, I check my phone. Depending on what I see in the morning, basically determines how I’m gonna feel for the rest of the day. I hate it. But I can’t stop. And what’s most ironic about this all is you’re likely going to read this on social media or listen to the song on some sort of electronic device…” [via Dork]

Flock of Dimes has shared the second single from her forthcoming album Head of Roses, out April 2 via Sub Pop. Following recent single, 'Two', 'Price of Blue' is another standout from Wasner’s second solo LP, an album that showcases her ability to embrace new levels of vulnerability, honesty and openness, combined with the self-assuredness that comes with a decade-plus career as a songwriter, producer, multi-instrumentalist and prolific collaborator. It comes accompanied by an unearthly new video filmed in black and white, co-directed by Wasner with Graham Tolbert. Wasner says: “This song is about trying, and failing, to connect. It’s about the ways in which, despite our best efforts, we misunderstand each other, and become so attached to stories that we’re unable to see the truth that’s right in front of us. And it’s about the invisible mark that another person can leave on your body, heart and mind long after their absence. It can be difficult to make sense of the memory of your experience when the reality on the surface is always shifting—when the story you’re telling, or the story you’ve been told, unravels, leaving you with a handful of pieces and no idea how they used to fit together.”

Berlin-based indie-soul five-piece, People Club, announce their new EP Take Me Home, which is due May 7 and the band are sharing the title-track and new video. The title track 'Take Me Home' is a song about the realisation of mortality in old age and the cynicism that often plights the elderly after losing their loved ones and being left alone with their regrets. It is accompanied by a music video shot by long standing collaborator, Felix Spitta. Speaking of the process the band say, “Once again we worked with our very talented friend, Felix Spitta, who also shot the video for our last single Francine.  We basically spent a day fooling around at his house with a smoke machine and an old tape TV camera with a red filter.  The result is hazy and disorientating, just like this year has been so far.”

Introducing MARY., the dreamy alter-ego of musician and songwriter Stef T. The self-produced debut track, ‘Day to Day’, interlaces elements of electro-pop and R&B with a voice that enchants, along with an official video filmed, edited and directed by David Risdon and Charlie Rose Creative. Reading like a page in a diary, ‘Day to Day’ offers a candid and emotionally raw glance at being overlooked as a woman in a man’s world. She is put together, glamorous and poised on the outside, but on the inside she is simmering like a pot ready to boil over, fed-up and on the brink of snapping. Speaking of the track, Stef T explains, “’Day to Day’ is a reflection on what it is to be a woman in a role where you are always unseen; constantly giving yet never receiving. As woman, we are often undervalued for our day to day work in all aspects - as mothers, in relationships, in our careers; having to push extra hard to get the basic recognition and thanks that we are entitled to. This song is a commentary of a large part of my life where I settled, sacrificed and worked, only to be used and taken for granted. It is about learning to survive a toxic relationship, discover your own individual worth again and reclaim the power that you gave away to someone else. Producing this song myself is the only thing that made sense in context with the intention of MARY. as a project. She is an entirely self made, independent woman, who does it all and doesn't need a man to confirm that she's doing a good job. This is something I have personally struggled with, so I created the MARY. persona to feel more empowered in my storytelling as an artist, in an industry without a large visible number of female-identifying producers.”

Los Angeles based dream pop trio Tashaki Miyaki have just released a single and video of the title song from their forthcoming second album, Castaway, which will be released on April 23 via Metropolis Records. Singer, drummer and producer Paige Stark states that the song “is about the challenges of romantic love and how we are all bad at it in one way or another. The idea of a castaway in all this is that no one understands the relationship except the people in it, so you really are stuck on an island alone together there. Maybe you make it back to the mainland, or maybe you stay on the island.” Stark also shot the Sofia Coppola-inspired video on film, adding: "I wanted to tap into all the feelings that can come up in love relationships: anger, sadness, loneliness, vulnerability, stillness, joy, romance, longing. The actress in it has a beautifully expressive face and I've known her for a long time. I knew we would be able to create those moments together. I wanted it to feel like the camera was her lover, capturing her in various private moments, moods and feelings.”

With her Vanilla Shell EP celebrating its one-year anniversary last month, Danish-Chilean composer Molina is back with another abbreviated record in the form of the new single 'Cold,' featuring vocalist Jonas Bjerre, arriving with a pair of B-sides. The brief collection of songs continues her simultaneous journey inward toward the roots of Chilean music and outward into her own unique vision of the future. The project lands with a video for the A-side, which dreams up bizarre fantasy iconography in the tradition of Grimes and Björk to complement her subdued take on these artists’ out-there recordings. Blending ambiguous electronic sounds with the familiar drone of cello and Bjerre’s backing vocals, the track’s distinct persona may have more in common with the experimental soundscapes of artists like Jenny Hval or Julia Holter. [via Flood]

Maisie Peters has debuted her brand new single, ‘John Hughes Movie’. Described as the first single from her soon to be announced debut album, it’s a song about unrequited love, inspired by the legendary film producer and his classic coming-of-age teen comedies like The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles. The track comes alongside a video co-written by Maisie and director Louis Bhose (Loyle Carner, Arlo Parks, Lewis Capaldi). Maisie explains: “I wrote ‘John Hughes Movie’ when I was 17 about a house party that I had gone to. It’s a really honest depiction of being a hopeless, melodramatic teenager, being awkward and drunk and getting your heart broken by people you don’t even remember anymore. John Hughes films encapsulate that foolish romantic energy of high school and everything that I, a small town English wannabe Molly Ringwald wanted to be, but was not.” [via Dork]

Chloe x Halle have shared the music video for their song 'Ungodly Hour.' The video was debuted on Wedneday night's episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and shows the Bailey sisters going underwater for a sci-fi-style visual filled with choreography and elaborate adventures at the bottom of the ocean. Watch the Alfred Marroquín-directed video above. [via The FADER]

South London's Josie Man has returned with sentimental new single 'Cuts & Bruise', marking her first release of 2021. 'Cuts & Bruises' follows October 2020's 'Grow' single, and is accompanied by a Andrea Mae-directed video that shows couples enjoying tender moments, including Josie Man and her boyfriend. [via Line Of Best Fit]

Jessie Ware has shared a new short film for her song 'Remember Where You Are'. Her album What's Your Pleasure? arrived last year, a disco-fuelled missile that presented some much-needed good vibes amid lockdown. The songwriter returns to the record for her song 'Remember Where You Are', a soulful and uplifting slice of UK songwriting. There's now a full video for the song and it's steered by BAFTA winning director Dominic Savage. Starring British actress Gemma Arterton, it opens on Valentine's Day and finds the star wandering through deserted London streets. A glimpse of hope and renewal, it taps into the growing feeling that this time, lockdown might be coming to a permanent end. "It was a real pleasure to collaborate with Jessie and Gemma on this short film that is inspired by Jessie Ware’s beautiful music. It was also inspired by the real feeling that was felt when we filmed in the deserted streets of eerily strange lockdown London on a Saturday night/Sunday morning,” Dominic said. “The feelings and emotions in the film are a true reflection of what that felt like, and what this time invokes. Sadness, nostalgia, pain and defiance. But when we climbed Primrose Hill and the sun started to rise above the city, there was real hope and joy for a future that will surely be ours. Listening to Jessie’s music. There is no doubt of that." Jessie adds... "This song has always meant a lot to me and I was determined for other people to hear it and for it to be single. I am so touched by how many people have embraced this song, particularly when it's one of your favourite actresses and an acclaimed film director. Working with Gemma, Dominic and their team has been an absolute joy. To have them realise my song with a beautiful ode to London and the longing for human touch and interaction couldn't be more of a compliment. It's a truly cherished piece of work." [via Clash]

Jaguar Jonze has shared her new single and video 'CURLED IN' ahead of the release of her second EP ANTIHERO on April 16, both via Nettwerk Records. 'CURLED IN' presents all her best qualities at its outset. From the track’s rip-roaring, slicing guitar to her perfectly forceful, omnipresent vocals, 'CURLED IN' is a pure cathartic release. "Tear me apart, just tear me apart," she all but demands: "I've never seen wrong be done right." She's fulfilling her simplest needs, and it's freeing. "It's a bit of a twist for me to be a masochist." As a survivor of abuse, these words' unafraid power is all too apparent and an engaging statement to hear expressed.

Following the release of eclectic and impressive debut singles 'ASOS,' 'Right Time,' and 'Papercut,' rising left-of-center pop singer and songwriter Dava returns with a fresh and bold new single 'New Ceilings' available now via Sony Music's Disruptor Records. The moody anti-pop record was co-written by Dava and Mike Adubato (Del Water Gap, Grace VanderWaal) who also produced the track, and is the latest off the Los Angeles-based musician's forthcoming debut EP, Sticky, due out later this year. On the inspiration behind her new single, Dava shares, "This song was written about survival and staying true to yourself. I was having a hard time financially after moving to LA and my phone was shut off while on my way to this session. I was upset with myself for prioritizing music when I really needed the money from driving Uber to stay afloat." She continues, "The day I wrote 'New Ceilings' I was angry and I wanted a song that felt empowering and validated all the work I had put in up to that point. I ended up choosing different songs for my project but when I revisited this one year later, I felt it needed to be heard because of how authentically it embodies my struggle."

London-based Fifi Rong, a multi-talented avant-pop songstress, has shared the video for her stunning single, ‘Another Me’. Directed by Rok Pat, the video for ‘Another Me’ is stylistically simplistic, as Fifi Rong uses her own body as a medium of art, painting herself and inviting the simple imagery of waterside reeds and plants. A tranquil mysticism embraces the single as Fifi Rong acts as a gentle siren, luring the unsuspecting in yet known the inevitable outcome of the relationship. Speaking of the concept behind the single and video, Fifi Rong tells us: “In any doomed romance, timing is always mysteriously wrong. This is my first full CGI music video and it visually portrays the elusive nature of the character surrounding the key message: 'you won't find another me'. The undertone of the song displays a sense of pride and confidence in the character’s melancholy. Dressed in nothing but petals, I wanted my character to symbolise purity, nature, truthfulness, vulnerability and the divine feminine form. Acting as a rotating statue, I wanted to mark the passing of time and seasons as if a unique and lonely piece of art on display.”

[ethan-bears]

Home for Christmas (Nolan Patrick x Reader)

You've resigned yourself to spending this Christmas alone. But Nolan has other plans.

Author's note: I started writing this out as a thought to send to @lindylovegang for her soft thought night tonight but I realized it needed to be a small book whole fic instead, so I decided to do this instead of editing my final paper. This is also not edited. I might edit it later. Who knows.

Warnings: light swearing, holidays, slight angst but it gets fluffy real quick, it's my first fic so it's probably not great, I'm on mobile and I can't figure out "keep reading" and I'm very sorry

Word count: absolutely no idea but good luck fam

gif credit to: bretthowden

*****

This was not how you wanted to spend your first Christmas in Philadelphia. Ideally, you wouldn't even be in Philly at all right now. You should be on a plane back home to your family and friends and the warm, familiar streets of your hometown. You should be waking up tomorrow morning in your grandma's house with the smell of warm bread surrounding you like a hug.

But no. You were trapped.

The blizzard had started to roll in earlier this morning, and you thought to yourself that it wouldn't be that bad, right? It was just some flurries. They wouldn't ground any flights, right?

Oh how wrong you wound up being.

After three hours of waiting for news in the airport terminal, followed by another hour and a half desperately trying to reschedule your flight to a time that would still work and getting nothing out of every airline representative in the building, you somehow managed to get an Uber driver crazy enough to come get you in the ocean of snow. Fighting back tears, you tried to console yourself in the backseat. At least your apartment would be warm. And you had a little tree, so it would still feel like Christmas. You'd make some soup and Skype your family, and while it wouldn't be the same as being with them, it would be better than nothing!

"Reckless optimist," you sighed as you flipped the light switch to your apartment only to be met with continued darkness. Alone in a dark, cold, apartment on Christmas Eve, snowed in with nowhere to go in a city that came nowhere close to feeling like home. Merry Christmas. Slumping against the door, you felt your hot tears break free and cascade down your face. You decided to let all the stress and frustration that had been building all day take over your body, sobbing harder than you could ever remember. Each new wave shook your body, sending you to the floor. You didn't care. It couldn't get worse, so why not act like it?

During a pause in the festivities you decided to check your phone to see if you had any messages from your dad, only to find a text you definitely didn't expect from someone who was definitely not your father.

Sir Nolan the Rosy-Faced: hey, just checking in, i know you're probably mid flight rn but just wanted to make sure you land safely when you do. Crazy storm. Text me?

Sniffing, you paused to process the message. Nolan wanted to make sure you were safe? It shouldn't really have surprised you, but the fact that he was concerned enough to text you while he thought you were still midair was...touching.

You fired a short text back explaining that the flight wasn't happening, thinking he'd respond with a simple "okay" or an "oh, sorry to hear that :(". But the next text you got (mere seconds later) surprised you again.

Sir Nolan: oh my god that sucks! Wait.....does that mean you're home alone tonight?

Me: Yeah, and the power's out, so it's suuuper cold, but idk it's fine, I'll just layer up and go to bed early I guess

Sir Nolan: are you okay?

That one hit you like a truck. No, you thought, I'm really, really not.

Me: Yeah, I'll be fine

Sir Nolan: are you sure? Cause I can come over if you want.

Any other night, you would be losing your mind at an offer like that. Ever since you had met Nolan, you'd had the biggest crush on him. All other crushes seemed like weak sauce compared to how you felt about him. But you'd cried all your energy out. The best response your heart could muster was a meek, "Sure, but don't worry if the snow's just too much."

You were met with a resounding, "Already on my way."

You decided that if you were going to be having company you should at least get up off the floor. You shuffled your way into your bedroom, habitually flicking the light switch before you remembered it was pointless. You fumbled in the dark to your desk drawer, trying to find your flashlight, and once you found it you turned it on and started changing into your warmest pajamas. Now that you weren't just a puddle of self-pity, you started to think about Nolan's sudden inviting-over of himself. You first met him during training camp when your work friend brought you along to meet up with Travis, her boyfriend. She figured that since you were new to the city and also a huge hockey fan that it couldn't hurt to introduce you to some guys on the team and help you make some friends. You weren't sure what to make of Nolan at first. He seemed so quiet and awkward that you thought your own quietness and awkwardness would make conversation impossible with such a knockout of a man. You wound up being horribly wrong, once again, but that time it was in a good way. Neither of you were really the super-outgoing party type, so whenever one or both of you started getting exhausted with the atmosphere you'd usually drift off into your own conversation in a quieter part of the room. As a result, he became a good friend incredibly fast. It seemed there was nothing you couldn't talk about with him, even though you still got nervous about certain things. Like your personal feelings for him. But that had never come up before, so you were safe. For now.

You knew he knew all about how hard the transition to Philly has been for you. How homesick you get, how you can't help but wonder if you made a mistake taking the job offer that brought you here (even though it was your dream job), and how you felt like it was hard to click with so many new people. Which was probably why he seemed so worried about you being alone tonight. He knew you felt alone most of the time anyway.

An hour and a half had gone by and you were starting to get worried about him. He only lived 20 minutes away, and even with the snow, it shouldn't take him that long unless he was stuck and just too proud to call you. It had given you time to call your mom, which you were grateful for and made you feel a lot better, but you couldn't ignore the knot in your stomach anymore. You were just about to hit "call" when you heard a knock at the door. Or more like a thump at the door.

You practically sprinted over to open it for the man-sized popsicle with his arms full of grocery bags standing on your doorstep. You paused for a second with your mouth hanging open, both amazed by the fact that he actually came over and by...him. The cold made his already pink cheeks bright red, and the snowflakes were sticking to his long eyelashes and the free locks of hair that didn't fit under his beanie. You had never seen anything more beautiful in your life.

"Can...can I come in?" Nolan's teeth chattered, snapping you back to reality.

"Oh, yeah, sorry! God, Nol, you're shivering!" you remark, ushering him through the door. Not that inside was that much warmer, but anything was better than being out there.

"It's cold," he laughs.

"Wow, AND he's meteorologist!" you quip back. "What can Nolan Patrick not do?"

Shaking his head, he made a beeline for your kitchen, looking for a place to set his bags down.

"Took me forever to find a place that was still open tonight," he muttered, pulling what looked in the dark like to-go boxes out of one of the bags. You shined your flashlight up to the ceiling to make it light the whole room as Nolan continued to pull items from his three bags. You just stood there, still dumbfounded by him.

"Pat... what's all this?" you manage to squeak out.

"This," he said, pointing to the to-go tubs, "is soup. I'm not completely sure what kind, but I figured soup would be the best thing no matter what. I didn't know if you had any crackers, so I brought some saltines. And some oranges because I knew you'd want something fruity and healthy and oranges are festive. And this," he pulled a thermos out of the second bag, "is hot chocolate. Made it myself." He grinned, sliding it towards you, obviously proud of himself. You could barely contain your own grin, feeling yourself blush. You were proud of him too.

"I saved the best for last," he continued once you took a sip of the cocoa. You frowned.

"What else could you possibly have brought?" you asked, genuinely astonished.

He looked you in the eyes and gave you a smirk. Holy hell. You were glad he probably couldn't see how pink your own cheeks were getting. The things he did to you and he didn't even know.

He carefully pulled a basket out of the last bag, and you could see it was full of a bunch of other things. You couldn't believe it.

"Nolan..." You trailed off, feeling the tears starting to well up again. Inside the basket were a bunch of little gifts with a note that read "For: y/n, From: Us". It had some of your favorite candies, one of those cheesy home-state-scented candles, a scarf with your home team's name and logo on it, and a tin of your favorite tea from a tiny local tea shop in your home town. You tried your best to fight the tears, but you weren't strong enough, rendered useless from your earlier fit.

"Nol-" You couldn't even finish your question before your own sob choked you. You set your thermos and flashlight down to bury your face in your hands.

"Hey, hey," Nolan whispered, pulling you into a hug. You wasted no time in hugging him back, squeezing him as you sobbed into his chest. "Shhhh, it's okay," he muttered to the top of your head. He slowly ran a hand up and down your back, rocking you back and forth. It only made you more emotional. He had never hugged you before, and you hadn't been hugged like this in what felt like years. You just wanted to stay there in his arms forever and ignore the world around you.

"It was a team effort," he continued. "Some of us thought you could use some things that remind you of home."

"Who...who found the tea?" you said into his chest, muffled by his sweater.

"What?" He smiled, pulling out of the hug a bit to let you speak up.

You wiped your face and took a breath. "Who found the tea?"

He pulled the rest of the way out of the hug, much to your disappointment. He leaned his head down, staring at the floor.

"That was me," he mumbled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "I remembered you mentioning it, and it was hard to work out, but they agreed to send me some." Somehow, his voice kept getting lower and lower.

You could hardly believe your ears. He remembered that? You swore you had only mentioned it once in passing after you got a really disappointing chai from a coffee place down the street. You had no idea he had been paying attention. And he went to all the trouble of getting a store with a locals-only business model to ship a product long-distance. You started to wonder if.... No, you thought, don't get your hopes up again tonight.

You stared at him for another moment, trying to soak in the situation. He seemed surprised when you went back in for another hug.

"Thank you so much!" you whisper, knowing that if you said it any louder you'd start crying again. You could feel him relax into the hug and gave him a little squeeze before you ended it.

"Soup time?"

"Soup time." Nolan nodded, practically beaming.

You sat on the couch, eating as carefully as you could in the dark, though your eyes were getting pretty adjusted. From then on, it was conversation as usual. It came so naturally with him that even when you weren't saying anything, you were still happy. You exchanged stories about your favorite Christmases, what you thought the best cookies are, and weird things your families do during the holidays for hours, barely even noticing the time or the cold.  At some point Nolan had pulled the blankets off the back of the couch and tossed them over both your laps. You didn't notice that you'd been getting closer and closer to him with every story until you laughed so hard you fell on his shoulder.

"Stop laughing!" He pouted, audibly trying to stifle his own laugh. "I almost got hypothermia. I could've died!"

"I can't...I can't!" you breathe between laughs. "You fell through the ice...but just one leg?!"

"Yeah, and I was stuck there on my side almost doing the splits between the ice and the water and my sister just stood there laughing. Just like you!" He nudged you, pretending to be annoyed. "But eventually she pulled me out and carried me back home. Couldn't move my leg for hours, it was just sticking straight out like..." He stuck his leg in the air, demonstrating, and only making you laugh harder. You could hardly breathe. You knew it probably felt funnier because of how exhausted you were, but you didn't care. Nolan had put a smile back on your face and back in your heart.

"Hey, Nolan?"

"Yeah?"

You swallowed. "I just... I'm not complaining that you're here, obviously, but... weren't you planning on spending tonight with Kevin and his family?"

"I was, but they've got each other, and someone else who's super special to me was sad and alone, which made me really sad to think about. You deserve to be happy and I wanted to help. Easiest decision I've ever made."

You really did not have it in you for another cry, so you settled for teasing him instead.

"That's really cheesy of you, softie."

"Take it while you can," he laughed.

"I know," you smiled.

Your eyes were starting to feel heavy and you let out a jaw-cracking yawn.

"Damn," Nolan remarked. You grunted in response, earning another laugh from him. "Wanna lay down?"

You nodded, leaning into his shoulder.

"You're warm," you sleepily drawl. You wanted to lay down, but you didn't want to get up to go to your bed. You wanted more snuggles, and right now you didn't care if he read into it or not.

He seemed to get the message, moving to lay down and taking you with him. He wrapped his arms around you after making sure the blankets covered you both as much as possible. You smiled contentedly, settling into your position and closing your eyes. You barely had time to contemplate how touchy he was being tonight compared to his normal reservations about hugs and touching before you were completely gone.

*****

Nolan woke up first the next morning. He was careful to move as little as possible to avoid waking you up. You looked so peaceful, curled up with your head on his chest. He felt his heart swell as you shifted to wrap your arms around his torso and fell back asleep within seconds. He smiled down at you, noticing how beautiful you were, even with your messy bedhead and your cheek squished against his chest. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. Just the two of you.

The power had come back on at some point during the night, so it was no longer freezing in the apartment, and the lights on your tiny tree had come on as well. He glanced back over to the kitchen to the basket on the counter. It had been embarrassing enough to admit to being the one who hunted down the tea like a police dog, so he left out the part about the whole gift basket being his idea in the first place. He would've bought you everything himself, but he wanted you to know that you had other friends, too, and that they wanted to show you that they were thinking of you. The scarf was Carter's idea, the candy TK's. Claude had suggested the candle, and being the local expert on how to be good to the woman he loved, Nolan took the advice and bought the candle as well. It did make him strangely jealous of your hometown in a way he couldn't quite explain. He was worried that you would be looking for any excuse to move back home, which he really didn't want. If it made you happy, then of course he'd support you, but he'd never felt for anyone the way he felt about you. The way you laugh, how passionate you get when you talk about something you care about, whether that's a person, a subject, a place, or what the best pizza topping is. He loved everything down to the way you word your sentences. He loved how much you loved.

He was awoken from his thoughts by you stirring and opening your eyes to look at him.

"Merry Christmas," you mumbled.

"Merry Christmas," he mumbled back.

You laid your head back down, enjoying the comforting rise and fall of his chest.

"You hungry? I can try and make you some breakfast. Emphasis on try," Nolan offered.

You laughed at the thought. "That'd be nice. But I don't wanna get up."

"Me neither," he sighed, tracing his thumb along your arm. He was not ready for when you suddenly shot off the couch, eyes manic and wide.

"Oh my god!" you shouted. "I didn't get you anything for Christmas! And you did all that last night!" You waved your hand at the kitchen. Nolan sat up, confused and cold, missing the weight of you on him.

"It's okay, y/n! I wasn't expecting anything."

"No, okay, I'm making you breakfast, and it's gonna be the best damn breakfast I've ever made. Lay back down," you insisted, marching off to the kitchen, wincing at the still-cold floor.

As nice as it sounded to stay under the warm blankets, Nolan didn't want to just sit there doing nothing. Suddenly he had an idea, even though it was a risky one. He decided it was a risk he needed to take eventually.

"Get out!" you playfully threatened, brandishing a spatula at him as he stepped into the kitchen. He put his hands up in mock surrender.

"I won't touch!"

"Good," you smirk, turning back to your pan.

Nolan shuffled around nervously, working up the courage to say what he wanted to. He swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I, uh...I have an idea for what you can give me. If you, uh, still want to give me something. Besides breakfast, I mean." Smooth, Patrick, he thought.

"What's that?" You met his gaze, making his stomach flip. The things you do to him and you have no idea.

"Maybe we can go out sometime? Like, just us. On purpose. To dinner or something?"

You looked like a deer caught in the headlights, making Nolan immediately second-guess himself. He bashfully broke your eye contact, focusing on the floor again. He felt the blush on his cheeks worsening.

"Are you... serious?" you ask, voice full of wonder.

"Of course I am!" he mumbled insistently. "Wouldn't ask if I wasn't."

You almost knocked him over with the force of your hug, a truly impressive feat.

"Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!!!" you laughed, not even bothering to play it cool. Nolan smiled so much it started to hurt, but he didn't care. He felt like he could take off and fly, he was so relieved. The weight of the world was replaced by the weight of you clinging to his shoulders. And he couldn't imagine a better way to spend his Christmas. Maybe, just maybe, he thought, Christmas would be like this forever from now on.

*****

You relaxed into Nolan's arms as he followed you back to the stove, hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. Suddenly, you felt something more than the giddy high of getting asked out by your crush. You felt a sort of peace you hadn't felt since before you moved.

You were home for Christmas.

[itzagothamcitysiren]

Welcome to the Family

After a nap and some sonic I have the energy to finish editing this chapter so I can post it :) I might also post the chapter after this as well instead of waiting until tomorrow night since I’m working until close!

There’s a Web That You Have Wove pt.4

           Jason gave himself one more look in the mirror before deciding he was ready. He didn’t go too far with his appearance, he still had to keep up with the whole ‘I don’t care’ vibe he gave off after all. He settled with a black shirt and jeans, with his best beat up pair of combat boots. He lastly threw on a thin red hoodie. He thought about wearing his leather jacket, but wasn’t sure about wanting to wear it all night. He still grabbed it, holding it in his arms. . He made sure he had his phone and keys, checking the time. It was almost seven.

           Exiting the room, he walked across the hallway, remembering to knock on the door adjacent from his. He could hear movement on the other side, like someone was flustered. She heard another voice as well, a female one.  His eyebrows rose as he knocked again, curious as to who else was in the room. A few seconds later the door was torn open, a very rattled Halley being shown.

           Jason looked her up and down, taking in her appearance. He was impressed, he thought she’d just slum it with some leggings and a baggy sweater. She instead wore a Star Wars t-shirt that was a little worn, but had a vintage look too it. Her dark blue skinny jeans had small rips at the knees but weren’t too crazy over the top like a lot of jeans in that style. She even added some flair with a blue and black flannel tied around her hips. He noted her face even had make-up on it which was something he never saw before.   It wasn’t much, just eyeliner and mascara, but it was noticeable and made her eyes pop.

           “Oh is that Jason!” A sweet voice called, pulling the two teens gazes away from each other. They looked into the room where Halley’s laptop set on her desk with a video chat open. Jason recognized the tanned orange skinned babe as the Titan Starfire and nodded in greeting. “I guess you don’t need my help anymore, I hope you two have fun at your party! Be responsible and make good choices!” She waved at them happily, before exiting the chat.

           Jason looked down at Halley questioning, as the girl let him in the room sheepishly. It was then when Jason took note of the state of the room. He snorted at the clothes thrown around the room haphazardly. She was really stressed about this party. She blushed as his eyes trailed across the room, rushing to start gathering the different shirts and pants and throwing them in her closet. She kicked her more personal articles of clothing underneath the bed, hoping he didn’t see them and turned back around to face him.

           “I didn’t know what to wear.” She shrugged awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. She’d called Kori in a haze, after trying on the tenth outfit of her limited choices. What did someone wear to one of things?

           After the initial reaction of Kori being excited about her going to her first party with the earthlings, as she called them, Kori made her go through each article of clothing, now insisting on visiting the younger girl for a much needed shopping trip. With a roll of her eyes, Halley eventually was able to pick a comfy but cute outfit out with the help of the Tamaranean.

           Moving to grab her sneakers she sat on her bed to put them on, already wanting to itch her eyes. Kori insisted she use some of the make-up she’d bought for her and guided her through the process. It took a couple of attempts to get the eyeliner on straight, but Halley felt proud that she accomplished such a silly little thing.

           Once her shoelaces were tied she stood back up, putting her phone in her pocket and moving back to Jason. “Okay, let’s get this over with it.”

           Jason nodded, excitingly leading her out of the room. They met Alfred downstairs and soon ended up in the butler’s favorite car to drive; the family Royce. The drive was filled with Alfred telling them to be careful, and to be mindful, and that he’d pick them up by eleven. That was less than four hours, Halley could manage that. Once his speech was over, the car was silent until they arrived at Sam’s parent’s penthouse in Gotham Heights.  The Heights were in the northern part of Gotham, and considerably one of the nicer areas. It was still not the greatest idea to walk around at night but it was the complete opposite of the East End.

           Eagerly, Jason exited the car first, patting the back of Alfred seat as a thank you. Halley hesitated, giving one more pleading look at the butler before groaning. She joined Jason on the curb, who gave a wave as the Royce pulled away. Halley frowned, seeing other kids being dropped off and rushing inside the building. She crossed her arms against her chest, already wishing she just kept her mouth shut and simply backed out. Her entire plan backfired on her.

           She was brought out of it when something fell on top of her shoulders. She looked up seeing Jason placing his leather jacket on her. She wasn’t crossing her arms because she was cold, she thought glaring up at him. She was crossing them because she wanted to be at home. Before she could protest, he grabbed her hand and pulled her inside of the building.

           She held the jacket in place with her free hand so it wouldn’t fall as he tugged her towards the elevator. He dropped her hand when he saw the group of kids who entered before them also waiting for the elevator. She used this opportunity to slide her arms through the sleeves, the jacket obviously being too big for her but glad she now had something to hide in now. Putting her hands in the pockets she followed the group into the elevator.

           She didn’t recognize the other teens that stood with them, but that’s how she felt throughout most of the night. There were a handful of people she did have classes with but she also noted how there were a lot of juniors and seniors at the party as well. She was glad that Jason stuck with her for the most part, only leaving to get them drinks. Of course the punch was spiked, as Jason took a large sip, eyeing Halley to take a sip of hers. She frowned, never drinking before. She shook her head and shoved the cup towards him. He shrugged and took it for himself.

           Her eyes trailed around the barely light penthouse. The music pounded loudly as people danced in the center of the room. She couldn’t stop the frown that took over her face as she quickly found herself grow bored. She tried to make conversation with him but lost her concentration over the pounding bass coming from the speakers. She looked back down at her feet, fisting her hands inside her pockets. How was Jason having a good time? They just stood leaning against a wall, people watching. She looked up at him, at he wore his classic smirk, taking another sip of from the cup he got her. Damn he drank that fast.

           “Halley!”

           The pair looked to the side, seeing a boy approach them. Jason cocked an eyebrow recognizing him from their journalism class. Well, her journalism class. Due to him skipping so much, Jason was taken out of it and place in a study program during that period to help bring his grades up. Jason didn’t even notice his eyes narrow as Halley’s frown disappeared as the boy approached.

           “Hey Dylan.” She greeted with a smile. She could hear Jason let out a scoff behind her and furrowed her brows at him before turning back to her friend.

           “I didn’t think you’d come to this kind of thing.” The brunette boy said, his hands in his jean’s pockets as he spoke to her. He greeted Jason, and gave him a look when Jason just grunted in response.

            “You too,” She said, moving off the wall so she could hear him better over the loud music.

           “I never get invited to these things, so when I did I wanted to see what it was all about. Not sure what I think yet,” Dylan shrugged, laughing at the end, his eyes showing is distaste for the obvious.

           “I think I know what I think of it.” She muttered, leaning back against the wall.

           Jason rolled his eyes at her, moving closer so their shoulders were touching. Dylan noted Jason holding onto the red solo cup and pointing to Halley, “Do you want a water?”

           “Sure, that would be great.” She smiled widely, thanking him as he walked off.

           “That would be great,” Jason mimicked, taking a sip of his drink, finishing if off. “Gross; you better make sure he doesn’t ruffie you.”

           “Excuse you?” Halley gasped, looking up at him in surprised. She looked offended, placing a hand on her hip, “And why in the hell would he do that?”

           “He was totally just flirting with you,” Jason snorted, feeling his chest tighten. Maybe he drank to fast? He felt his face grow hot as he looked at her big eyes. Jerking his head away, he cussed at himself. Dylan could flirt with her all he wanted, he didn’t care. He was just offended that she’d take his offer of giving her a drink over his. Yeah, that was why he excused himself as he saw the brunette walking back over to them with two cups.

           He found his mood spoiled as he sat across the room glaring down the girl as she leaned up against the wall with his replacement. It had taken her a few minutes to lighten up after Jason stalked away, confused by his sudden outburst. I’m just as confused as you, babe, he thought to himself. Sneering at himself for his thought, he reached for the new cup he grabbed on the way over here.

           He would admit he was jealous to himself, but only because he wanted to be spending time with her. You know? Outside from being Gotham’s young vigilantes. Sure, they spent time at the manor together and the occasional trip out with Dick, but he wanted to see her out of her comfort zone of the living room in the manor. He wanted to spend the night making fun of all their idiotic classmates and watch the drama play out in front of them. Like the girl sitting with her friends clustered around her crying because her crush was dancing with another girl. He and Halley loved making fun of stuff like that because problems like that were so trivial compared to theirs. But here he was acting like the exact type of person they laughed at during lunch.

           “No way! Are you crazy?” Dylan’s voice of amusement brought a laugh out of Halley, shrugging as she held a hand to her mouth. Dylan’s face of bewilderment grew, processing what he was just told. “You like the prequels? Like no joke, you will sit down and watch them on your own accord without being forced and watch them all the through with no complaints.”

           “I don’t think they’re that bad,” She giggled, raising her hand up in defense. She grinned loving the easy flow of conversation between the pair.

           She knew they got along in the class they shared together, but didn’t know how much they had in common. They both loved Star Wars and both hated parties. There were other things that came up that they shared but right now those stuck out to her the most as their conversation shifted from how lame they thought this party was and to him complimenting her shirt, motioning to his Boba Fett shirt.  

           “Eh, to each their own I guess.” He sneered, mocking a look of disgust. “I still think you’re uncultured.”

           He sighed, as they entered a comfortable moment of silence. He was glad he bumped into her, thinking she’d been really nice and sweet beforehand. He was about to leave after only being at the party for an hour but was surprised when he saw her here. He knew how much she hated Sam and figured she wouldn’t come. He felt his stomach growl, and looked towards the kitchen, not really in the mood for the cold pizza and snacks that lay on the countertops.

           “You wanna get out of here?” He offered, his eyes flickering to the door before wincing when he realized how sleazy he looked. He saw her eyes widened in nervousness and trailed back. Blushing he corrected himself, “Not like that! I meant, I’m just hungry and want like an actual meal.” He laughed timidly, rubbing his arms.

           “Oh, yeah,” She said hurriedly, as if pretending she wasn’t slightly thrown off by his sudden question. She nodded, wanting to leave but frowned. “I came here with Jason, can he come? I’d feel bad leaving him.” She asked honestly, she didn’t want to just ditch him even if he was acting weird.

           “Yeah of course. We can go to that burger place downtown.” He nodded, as they headed towards where Jason sat.

           “Caroline’s? Yes, I love them!” She said excitedly, pausing to stand in front of Jason. He looked up at her questioning and looking slightly miffed. She tried to ignore it, just chalking it up to him drinking too much and tried giving him a smile. “Hey want to go get Caroline’s with us?”

            Jason huffed, looking between the two before settling on Halley. He looked her up and down, pissed off for no real good reason. Clenching his hands into fists he stood up, he towered over her a couple of inches and shook his head, “Nah, I’m good. Have fun.”

           Halley wrinkled up her eyebrows, as he walked past her before ruffling her hair. She looked up to Dylan and apologized for Jason’s rudeness, “I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” She muttered as they began to leave the party, heading towards her friend’s car. He loved Caroline’s and would never pass up the opportunity to grab some.

            What the hell was his problem?

[aboyandhisstarship]

Human are weird: The GTO/SICON verse Reboot

The GTO, Or Galactic Treaty Organization is a military and political alliance between a number of species in the alpha quadrat of the galaxy.  The GTO is a rather new organization only founded nine years ago following the first contact incident, where The Klendthu’s crash landed on a small cold planet on the edge of a solar system at the edge of the galaxy, and encountered a small outpost, one mis understanding later, and The Klendthu’s spent 6 Terren months fighting the creature’s from the fourth planet.

Once diplomacy was able to be established through communications a cease fire was called, and the strange race who called themselves Humans started a dialog.

Over the last nine years the alliance has grown to be a massive power house in economics, Politics and Defense.   They are 4 major races in the alliance

The Klendthu Congress: an insect race with a regional hive mind, but don’t let that fool you, they are wicked smart and industrious.  They have developed some of the most impressive mining tech available. Their planets is ruled by a Queen there entire government by the high queen, the average worker has about the same level of intelligence of a human 6 year old, but when working groups then can easily compete with a genius level human.

The Kalbur Merchant Empire: a race that vaguely resembles the big foots of earth legend. They are the economic Backbone of the GTO, there race is built around the building and creating of wealth, money heavily influencing there culture. Their government is run by a council of officials elected from the top business and workers unions on their world.  In terms of technology they tend to lead in interstellar coms and other commercial type tech, with their military tech sorely lacking…as such they maintain an allied Military presence on their worlds.

The Verkia technocracy: an Aquatic telepathically floating species that vaguely resembles the squids of earth, they are the most advanced species in the known galaxy in almost every way. As such however they tend to be stiff and follow a very strict social custom; it is considered taboo for a student to leave the sciences in exchange for another discipline, sometimes leading as far as disowning by family and friends, or worse case total exile from Varikan society.  There government is run by a council of appointed top scientists that are generally the heads of top instuites within Verikan space.”

The Strategically Integrated Collation of Nations:  The Humans, the youngest race in the group as well as the craziest, Hailing from a death world on the edge of the galaxy where everything can and will kill you they are a society still recovering from finding out aliens even exist and there conflict with them. SICON was formed after the Pluto attacks from several of the earths major nation states, pushing aside the last barriers to unification. SICON is a democracy, with each former earth nation state, and Human colony earning a seat in the SICON Parliament with the majority seat holder winning said election with the party head becoming the Prime minster, Underneath them is the Star Marshal, commander in chief of the SICON Navy, and the ODT’s or Orbital Drop Teams… highly trained and equipped soldiers who go through a strict selection process.  The nature of the human world as well as their Military technique’s make them the leader in Military technology by miles, with standard issue power suits for ground forces, the entire concept of Orbital insertion, air support and deep space carriers being introduced by the humans. These advantages are only enhanced by their natural predatory nature and ability to hone their bodies into killing machines….

T’Las groaned scratching her fur groaning “Great I keep making the humans sound terrifying.”  The Kalbur sat back in the far too tall chair. It was built for a human after all she groaned, she sat in a gray metal room, the thick bulkheads joined into a thick window showing the swirls of hyperspace outside the window.

T’Las was grateful to the human for letting her take his office as he called it, but honestly being on a human ship was scary…well the entire assignment she was given was scary. 18 terran months ago a Verkian science ship crash landed on a Pre FTL society and well the folk on the planet went crazy fighting over the tech they could barely understand, by now only two groups remained on the planet before the GTO sent an intervention team, well Humans falling from the sky into your main base would put the fear of god into anyone and the sides agreed to moderated peace talks, she had actually been invited to dine in the captain’s cabin with the Ambassador, the Captain and the ODT Commanding officer, and had to quickly get ready. She put on her formal fur clips and quickly moved through the ship.

The Valley Forge is what the humans called it and as human ships go it was on the small side, only 400 meters long and 600 across. The vast majority was taken up by the Chekov drive core and the small retrieval ship and drop tubes for the ODT team.  She left the section of the ship past a group of humans joking about something called a date, before she left the ODT region of the ship.

It took her a couple of minutes and asking for direction’s before she arrived at the metal door. She knocked and a human voice called “come in.”

Inside were to humans before dressed in their formal uniforms, one had more bars across her shoulders and was a human female, T’Las was able to identify as she introduced “Hello, you must be the reporter joining us, I’m Captain Hernández.”

The male human who was also in Dress uniform had shoulder patches on the side of his jacket that looked kind of like the Human drop pods as he introduced “Lieutenant William Erickson, ODT senior officer.”

T’Las carefully took the offered seat “Nice to meet you Captain Hernández, Lieutenant Erickson.”

There was sound of something scraping and a robotic voice saying “May I enter.”

Erickson and Herandez stood up as the door opened, in stepped a creature that walked on four legs, it was armoured and had 4 side facing eyes, attached to its chest was a small box, Herndez smiled “your Majesty.”

The creature screeched before a second later the robotic voice spoke “Captain, Lieutenant…we have known each other long enough to dispense with the Niceties surely.”

Erickson laughed “I’m sorry to say its official orders, they don’t want us causing too much trouble.”

Herndez chuckled as she said “you’re Majesty Queen of Gamma prime, this is T’Las of the Kalbur.”

T’Las had never seen a klendtuian queen before and muttered out a “Hello…your majesty.” She quickly added bowing slightly.

The queen made a chirping sound that robotic voice translated to a disjointed human laugh before saying “there is no need we are all equals here.”

The three of them sat down as a small platform elevated the queen to the table, Erickson took a sip of water saying “the squad says hi, and Futuba was real bummed she could not join us.”

The queen somehow betrayed a guine response through the robotic voice as she responded “I’m sorry they were unable to join, it has been for too long since I last saw dagger squad.”

A couple of humans still in there dress best placed done four plates, for the humans it was a simple salad meal with Erickson grinning “SICON figured streaks were not a good look.”

The queen chirped again as a plate of strange green slush was placed in front of her and T’Las got a salad in the style of her people. T’Las asked “so how do you all know each other?”

Erickson smiled without showing teeth “long story, it involves a lot of explosives.”

The queen scratched “it was my vessel that crashed on Pluto, then private Erickson, and then flight Lieutent Hernández crash landed in my den, we were lucky enough to have gotten our…talk box open…they were the first to talk to us…they helped us build peace.”

Erickson smiled “we got a cease fire and spent 3 weeks talking, we had to live off my mom’s cookies.”

The queen chirped “I’m sorry you could not eat our food.”

Herndez grinned “I thought the food was ok, the company was awful.”

Erickson looked genuinely hurt as the conversation moved to a different topic.

 17 hours later:

T’Las was sitting in her quarters/ borrowed office mussing about the nature of Human space travel. Most other GTO races have adopted the supercharged carrier system, where the engines have a certain particle run through it in an infinite loop that somehow results in faster than light travel; Humans on the hand adopted the Chekov hyper drive, named after the human scientist Anton Chekov who invented it. The Chekov drive punches a hole in subspace allowing the human ship to enter into another dimension allowing the vessel hundreds time faster than the speed of light.

 T’Las did not pretend to be well versed on the subject of interstellar Star ships but she started to write “as I fly on the human ship I noticed something interesting about the difference in the FTL Technology employed by SICON as opposed to the employed by the rest of the GTO, but first some background, for any ready who is not aware Humans are pursuit predators, what does this mean? imagine for a second that you are a terran creature, you see a human coming and run away. The issue is you are faster than the human but the human can chase you as far as they need to, sometimes for kilometers and days at a time.”

T’Las read that and said “NOPE.” She quickly edited “Being a Pursuit predator means they chase their prey, sometimes for days and across vast landscapes, just about anything can out sprint the average (non -power suit wearing) human, but in a distance race…you lose every time. What is the relevance of what I’m saying? Well Most FTL tech we know of is faster than Human hyperspace, but the Humans can go farther and for longer…Example, A Kalbur ship and a human ship need to cross GTO space, the distance is say 15 Cubic light years, The Kalbur ship would rock ahead of the ship until about 5 light years at which point it needs to slow down to let the engines recharge, by contrast the humans will stay be coming and easily overtake the Kalbur, once the Kalbur engines re charge they will jump and yet again overshoot the humans until uh oh, they have to stop again, meanwhile the humans have being moving at a steady pace this entire time and easily yet again over take the Kalbur and hit where they want to be  easily hours before the Kalbur vessel.”

T’Las read it over before nodding approvingly “that’s better.” Adding “now the logical next question, what about in combat and yes it is as terrifying as you would think, the humans with their massive over gunned ships firing hunks of metal at a quarter of the speed of light at you, so you make a break for it…and you think you are in the clear then boom, they appear out of nowhere (reminder that we have yet to have anyway detect someone in Chekov travel, and if the humans do they are not sharing.)  You can’t run you can’t hide you can only that they are feeling merciful.”

T’Las re read the last paragraph saying “way to dark…” deleting the last paragraph she smiled sending the story off, as well as her other noted on the function .

 7 hours later:

T’Las heard a small knock on her door, and opened it to see a human with a strange shape on her face the human grinned “Hiyo.”

T’Las blinked “uhh hi?”

The human smiled “Specialist Futuba Kurogane, Dagger Squad, intel and Communication’s.”

T’Las nodded “Pleasure…uhhh not to be rude?”

Futuba grinned “oh yea right, this came for you from your boss,” Handing T’Las a drive saying “have a good one.”

T’Las played the message and it was her boss telling her “that last story is a gold mine! We have re run it 4 times and they still want more! Keep up the good work!”

T’Las rewatched the message 4 times saying “people are really that interested?”

2 hours later:

T’Las backed up as the creature advanced towards her, it was on four legs and bore it’s teeth as it sniffed her, the humans office door had closed cutting off her escape from the predator, T’Las considered making a break for it  when a human shouted in a language her translator did not recognize. The creature instantly stopped sniffing her and trotted back towards the human, the human was a female of darker complexion who smiled sheepishly, saying to T’Las “sorry about Porthos here.”

T’Las took a deep breath before yelling “WHY DO YOU HAVE A DEADLY PREADTOR IN YOUR INCLOSED SPACESHIP!”

The human rolled her eyes “she is a MWD.”

T’Las said “what!?”

Erickson rounded the corner saying with crossed arms “heard some yelling, what’s the issue Specialist?”

He reached down petting the creature as the other human said “Porthos seems to put the fear of god into our guest here.”

Erickson sighed “Abebi, you know we had aliens onboard who would be scared of Porthos.”

Erickson looked at T’Las before saying “come on, I will fill you in.”

Mess hall:

Erickson drunk a glass of water explaining “there is a creature on earth called a dog.”

T’Las nodded following, as Erickson sighed “these animals have amazing sense of smell so we train them to find things for us; Porthos for instance is a bomb sniffer….so if you ever see him sit run….Abebi, is his Handler she takes care of leads the dog on mission’s…that make sense?”

T’Las sighed “sure you humans have trained a deadly predator to find equally deadly explosives for you…great…”

Erickson glanced at his wrist “we are almost at the planet get ready.”

Clapping T’Las on the shoulder

Hanger bay:

The ship rocked as it dropped out of hyperspace, Ericson was dressed in strange 4 piece garments with dark lens over his face as he explained “this place was a warzone a few days ago, so stay close and do as we tell you, everyone follow?”

The queen squawked her affirmative and T’Las nodded awkwardly as they boarded the military drop craft.

4 hours later:

The conference had been going on for hours now with the creature Porthos and his handler walking around constantly as the rest of the humans eyed the assembled crowd, so far everything was safe and secure. The peace was signed But then the meet and greet and the glad handing with the all the ambassador’s started, and well T’Las was happy she had her camera drone on for what happened next.

 The drone had been flying around the room for about twenty minutes when an alien stepped forward to speak to the ambassador’s, Porthos walked towards the alien sniffing before sitting facing him. T’Las remembering what Erickson said looked for something to hide behind as all the humans in the room stiffed, The queen knowing what Porthos was as well changed color, however the aliens on the planet did not know what was about to happen. A tense second later, small sliver looking weapons appeared in the humans hands as Erickson yelled “hands in the air!”  

Porthos rose up barking as Erickson yelled “Abebi!”

The handler nodded “on it sir!” yelling something in a strange human language, the dog advanced on the now terrified alien, sniffing before looking at the creatures jacket and growling. The humans moved in as Erickson said “Futuba call for evac, Abebi.”

The handler interrupted “checking the entire room got it.”

Erickson threw the alien down pulling out a bomb he quickly defused he said “Valley Forge we are pulling out over!”

The delegation quickly moved out to the waiting drop ship, handing the would be bomber over to the locals they blasted off, the humans visibly relaxed and started chatting with each other and the queen like they all almost didn’t get blown up, leaving T’Las to come to the conclusion “Humans are weird. “

[forgottenkingdomsworld]

Prince Samouel’s Nameday Parade

Players: @elfishmagic @maiden-of-the-meadow

20th November 1268

People from all corners of Istara - and even the neighbouring kingdoms - poured into the city for the celebrations. The bright autumn sun was pale yellow in the sky and the air smelled fresh and sweet for a change. Music was already ringing out above the rooftops and children ran through the streets with their baked treats. 

The procession was about to start from the Palace gates and make its long journey through the city. With drummers and bards, actors and acrobats. They all depicted different legends through the history of Istara. From The Sun Prince holding back the Darkness to the Rebel Prince, stealing from the rich to give to the poor. 

The trumpets rung out across the city, signifying the start of the festivities. 

The Nameday Celebrations had begun!

Aedan sat on a wall as he watched musicians play a tune or two. The other bandits were all unconcious in the tavern. He enjoyed the small moment to himself, imagining that he was there to play tunes and trade his crafts. Not that he had many. At least it was a relief from wearing heavy, smelly furs and pertpetually damp boots. As an iced bun seller wandered past, she offered Aedan one. He hesitated, fumbling for his near-empty pouch and remembered he spent a fortune buying medicine. 'Sorry, I don't-' 'Ah, it's fine. This one's nearly out anyway.' The bun seller handed Aedan the treat and hurried off.

Amelia had closed her shop for the day. She could have earned a little more money by staying open and attracting some new customers, but where was the fun in that. She didn't want to miss out on the celebration to. Dressed in a yellow and white dress in honor of the Sun Prince and her blonde locks only pinned back enough to keep from hiding her face but hanging loosely and put down her back, she was having a good time already. All the music playing and the people celebrating, it felt like a joyous occasion. She walked along the streets, taking in the people and different merchants selling things, a smile on her face as she wondered what would catch her eye enough for her to purchase. She herself had a satchel full of flowers and was handing them randomly off to people as she passed. No transactions being made or anything, just offering them to anyone and everyone.

Aedan almost thought he was going insane when he spotted Amelia. Estherdale was so far away that he was sure she'd never make it. But here she was. And there she was. He knew his childish crush on her would never amount to anything. It hadn't even given him a discount at her shop. He was very lucky Glade had loaned him the money to pay her. A part of him wanted to approach her. But he couldn't buy a flower as an excuse. And he didn't want to ruin her day. So he stayed back and offered some of the non-iced part of the bun to a bird.

Amelia laughed as a group of children came to her and grabbed her hands to spin and dance around in a circle. This was what she always missed most of the time. While she loved her meadow, she didn't like how lonely it could be at times. Complimenting the children, she hands them all a flower before letting them walk off. Eyes look around once again and they happen to land on someone very familiar. She stares for a moment to make sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her, but there he was. Clear as day. She tried to contain her excitement, but her face always betrayed her when she felt something. She knew that what she felt for him may be considered foolish by some, but she was always drawn to him. It was hard to explain. "Aedan?!" She calls, in clear surprise but also the look on her face showed that she was excited to see him. Quickly approaching the man, she grinned. "Oh, this just makes the day even better. I didn't think I'd see you here," she giggles. "Are you having a good time?"

Aedan's eyes widened when he caught eyecontact with Amelia. A part of him wanted to flee. Make things less complicated. But the other - the more civilised - part of him wanted to greet her. He remained seated on the wall, the bird moving to his lap before he could stand. 'Amelia? I didn't think you'd be here. Um, but yeah. I'm having a great time. Apart from the crowds and the drunks and the walls. The music is great and...' He wagged the half-eaten bun. When he realised what he was doing, he pulled a face and put it back down. 'What're you doing up here, though? What about your shop?'

Amelia couldn't help, but laugh as the bird made itself comfortable in his lap. She bends down a bit to use a finger to gently pet at it's head, the creature responding to her soft coos. "I suppose drunks and crowds come with the territory for things like this, but they aren't too bad. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," she smiles. "Oh I wouldn't miss a celebration. My shop will be fine for a few days. If I worked all the time, I would surely go mad," she chuckles, head shaking at the thought of getting too lost in her work.

Aedan huffed with a smile as he watched Amelia pet the bird. She seemed as good with animals as him. Another reason why he liked her so much. And sadly, another reason why she probably shouldn't be his friend. 'I know how you feel.' But Aedan couldn't leave his 'work'. 'Do- Would you like to go see the market? It's got- Well.' He was going to suggest he buy them a wine, but again he realised he had no money. 'We can window shop.'(edited)

Amelia smiled to herself as the bird hoped off of Aedan's lap to perch itself on her finger. Animals always fascinated her as much as plants. They were simple yet complex creatures. At his offer to accompany him to the market, she brings her gaze back to him. "I would like that. Have you had anything to eat besides that?" She questions, gesturing with her head to the bun he had been snacking on that the bird had also taken part in. While she made money from her business, she had her inheritance from her father still tucked away too.

Aedan gave her a half-bashful look, pretending that he had eaten some of it. He'd not yet eaten any. 'No. I-I'm not really hungry.' He was starving but he knew that if he ate something, it'd just make him feel it worse. 'But we can find you something.' He jumped from the wall and brushed the crumbs off before handing a passing jester the bun.

Amelia stared at him a moment. "You are telling me that you are smelling all these delicious foods and you are not hungry?" She asks, giving a playful arch of her brow. "Nonsense. This is the time to be a glutton and I will not take no for an answer in you joining me for at least a treat and a nice cup of wine," she insists, a smile spreading across her face. Encouraging the bird to fly away once again, she brings her attention back to him. "Shall we?" She asks as she offers him her arm to take.

Aedan held his tongue and gave a closed-smile. 'How could I refuse?' He took her arm and let her lead the way. But in his head, he was struggling to think of excuses. He didn't have a bit. And a bit would pay for them both to have a wee drink. 'I don't think the market will have much of what I can eat. I'm one of those freaks who doesn't eat animals.'

Amelia wondered if she was being annoying as he gave her that smile. She pressed her lips together as she held onto his arm, walking with him. "Well, I did see someone selling lentil stew. And there are plenty of fruit stands," she encourages. "I don't really partake in eating meat often."

'Lentil stew?' Aedan was tempted. But without money... 'It's fine. Really.' If he explained his impoverished state, she'd feel guilty. And this was a special occaision. No one should be unhappy.

"Yes. It smelled devine when I walked bu. I think you'd enjoy it." Amelia was trying to get him to relax since he seemed to be overthinking things. "My treat," she offers with a small smile.

Aedan didn't want to take charity. But he'd already denied Amelia too much. 'Fine. But as long as I buy us drinks later.' He'd have money by then. He'd make sure of it.

If Amelia had known what he was thinking, she would have been quick to assure that she wasn't offering charity. What was the point of having any sort of money if you didn't share it with people you cared for? She lived a simple life and the money just sat collecting dust for the most part. "Alright, a fair trade," she replies, smiling.

With that weight off, Aedan smiled freely. He was excited to have a hot bowl of something that hadn't once been a living and breathing creature. 'So, was there anything you planned on doing while you were here?'

Seeing his at ease smile lifted Amelia’s spirit a bit. He always seemed so tense and worried and she always wondered if he ever got a moment to just be. She walks alongside him through the many crowds of people, trying to find where she had seen the stand. "Well, I was just kind of seeing where the days took me. I did see that there will be plays being held tonight so I thought I might watch those. What about you?"

'Oh, right. Those are free right now, aren't they? I might join you. I mean- I mean I might go to the plays. I'm not inviting myself to go with you. Unless you wanted the company?' Aedan felt a bit of a fool saying that.

"I believe so," Amelia replies. At his stumbling, she couldn't help but see it as more endearing than anything. "I would love it if you accompanied me," she chimes in to stop him from trying to backtrack.

Aedan smiled and gestured to one of the market stalls selling green men masks. 'Are you going to the masquerade? My boss wants me to work through it.'

Amelia looks at the masks with amusement. "I was thinking about it. A night full of mystery and magic," she giggles.

'What'll you go as?' Aedan wondered if he'd have time to enjoy the carnival. If anything, knowing what her mask was would prevent him or the others stealing from her.

"A butterfly. Silly, I know." Amelia had found the mask and thought it was beautiful and she had a dress that went perfectly with it. "Will you be going?"

'A butterfly. That's not silly. It'll suit you.' Aedan smiled at her as they walked to the stall. 'I'll be working. But I might get some free time. My mask is just a wee thing made of leaves and twigs.'

Amelia smiled back at him. "If you get some free time, I hope you can find me. I would love a dance," she replies. "I'm sure you will look handsome." As they approach the stall, she speaks up. "Two lentil stews please," she orders as she reaches for her coin pouch to take out some money, paying the vendor.

Aedan fought back his smile. 'Have you seen me walk? Imagine that, but dancing.' He tried not to pay too much attention to her purse, clinking full of so many coins. He took one of the steaming hot bowls, perfect for the chilly autumn morning.

Amelia gives a laugh at that. "Oh, come now, anyone can dance. It may not always look amazing, but that is not the point. It is all about enjoying yourself." After paying, she tucked her purse away before taking her own bowl. She thanks the woman and turns her head to look at Aedan. She gestures for a spot where they could sit and enjoy the meal.

Aedan murmured his thanks to the lady, giving his bandana a tentative touch to make sure she couldn't see his ears. He then led the way to where Amelia had gestured them to sit. He settled with a grunt and held the bowl close. Maybe not having to wear the furs didn't mean he shouldn't. It was a wee bit chilly.

Amelia settled down and brought the bowl up to her nose so she could give it a smell. She sighed in content, the spices and warmth already filling her soul. "Stew always is perfect for a chilly day," she comments before beginning to eat.

Aedan blew away the steam and started to sip the stew from his spoon. He hummed as the heat of the stew rolled through him. 'It's gorgeous.' It could've been the worst stew in the world and he'd have loved it.

Amelia hums in agreement at that statement, savoring the taste of the hearty lentils and vegetables. "I think we should have tried to find some fresh bread first to go along with it," she muses with a laugh.

'Fresh bread? I haven't had that since I lived-' Aedan hesitated and shook his head. 'I only eat the stale stuff. Use it as a wee spoon most days.'

Amelia tilts her head, expecting him to finish his first sentence. When he doesn't, she decides not to press him on the matter. "Really?" She glances around the market for a moment before her eyes land on a booth. "I'll be right back," she smiles and stands up from her seat. "Stew like this deserves the proper accompaniment," a playful wink is given before she goes off to purchase a loaf for the two of them.

Aedan spent the time waiting for Amelia to come back, stirring the stew. He let his attention stray to the jugglers nearby.

Ophelia normally she didn’t do these things. She had lived for too long to care about who is in charge or who wasn’t. She didn’t understand why the name day of a rich and spoiled boy had to be celebrated on this scale. It was a waste of time and money. She liked humans even less after for a second time someone had tried to kill her “What am I even doing here?” She said probably a bit too loud not realising people could hear her.

Amelia purchased a loaf, managing to get a cheaper price after offering a flower to the merchant seeking it. With a happy Thank you given, she returns to Aedan. "Here. Take a whiff of that," she encourages, offering him the fresh bread.

Aedan squinted when he heard a familiar voice, but had no idea where it came from. But then Amelia appeared and his confusion faded for the moment. 'Bread? Really?' He set his bowl down on the wall beside him and took the bread from her. Breathing in the beautiful scent. He almost fell off of the wall with the warming sensation. 'I'm in love.'

Amelia took her seat once more. "Yes, really. I told you, it is needed for this," she laughs. She watches him take in the scent and she smiles. "You see, you have to take in even the little things that life has to offer."

Aedan tore his bread and took a big bite without the stew on it. It was so soft and fluffy, he didn't know what he'd done to deserve Amelia's generosity. Everything had a price. Bread had a price. He needed to buy her three drinks in return for this.

Amelia let him enjoy the loaf, smiling a little as she stirred her stew a bit. "My papa used to bring home lots of treats from the city when he could come see us. Baskets full of breads, candies.. everything a child would want," she chuckles at the memory.

Aedan listened as he tucked into his meal, relishing the full sized portion and the lack of guilt. 'I remember my uncle used to buy me wee cakes full of alcohol. My ma would chase him off with a broom when he did.' Aedan huffed a chuckle but then his smile faltered. He never told anyone about his life before.

Amelia listened and smiled a little as he tells her about a memory from his childhood. "It sounds like she had a handful with him."

'With my uncle? Definitely. He was... a handful for everyone.' Aedan finished his bread and started with the stew itself.

"Do you ever miss your home?" Amelia asks as she takes another small sip of her soup.

'Olean Ridh? Or Terr?' Aedan huffed a sigh and shrugged. 'I never really got to live in the country the way I was meant to. And the farm was too crowded. Six brothers'll do that.'

"Both," Amelia replies. She wondered about his past and what made him who he was today. But she supposed that was just a natural curiosity to have about anyone you met. "The country is much more pleasant than the city, so it's unfortunate that you weren't able to."

'I wish I could've seen the forests full of ruins in Olean Ridh. But I still get to live in a forest. So I have something.' Aedan tipped the last dregs of stew into his mouth and set the bowl on the wall. He'd never been so full.

"Perhaps one day you will have the chance to." Amelia thought that there was always hope for achieving the things you wanted. Even if it was years later. She finishes up her stew before sparing a glance over to him. "What shall we do now?"

'We should go see where the parade is now. We might be able to catch a wee glimpse of the royal family.' Aedan stood and gathered up his bowl. 'First, I'm going to take these back to the stall.' He headed over to the lentil stall and offered their bowls back to them.

"Sounds splendid," Amelia smiles as she stands out too, dusting off her dress a little. She waits for him to return.

Aedan returned to Amelia and gestured towards the sound of where the music was loudest. 'Shall we explore?'

Amelia gives a nod, eager to see all the the event had to offer. She goes to follow him so they could explore everything.

Aedan had no idea of the layout of the city but it was easy enough to follow the music. As they walked, he glanced over at Amelia every once in a while. There was so much he wanted to ask but that'd open the door for her to return the favour. And he didn't want to ruin what they had. Whatever this friendship was.

Amelia follows beside him, keeping close so she didn't lose him in the crowd. The music was getting louder and it put a smile on her fair face. She was having an even better time now that she was spending it with a familiar face. She wondered if she was intruding on what Aedan had planned for his time here, but she hoped that he would have said so if that was the case.

Aedan checked over his shoulder whenever he wasn't looking at Amelia or for the parade. If the others woke up and found him, they'd drag him off to work or seduce Amelia away from him. He just wanted to spend this holiday with someone who liked him. 'There!' He grabbed Amelia's hand and ran down some stairs towards the procession.

Amelia was too distracted by everything around them that she hadn't noticed how his eyes would sometimes wander to her and over his shoulder. Feeling his hand suddenly take a hold of hers brought her attention to him and she picks up her dress a hit so she could run with him; a laugh leaving her.

Aedan grinned back at her when they reached the parade. The section they got to depicted the Dragon Prince's victory over the last dragon of Istara. Fire eaters made the air turn to flame.

Amelia can't help but stare in wonder at the parade once they reach the parade. Her eyes widen as she looks at what was happening.

Aedan had never seen anything like it and pulled Amelia through the crowd so she could see it better. He was half-tempted to put her on his shoulders, but even he knew that would've been strange.

Amelia tried to watch as best as she could with all the people wanting a look at the spectacle too. She kept a hold of his hand and watched as the fire was blown onto the air.

'I can't believe dragons used to exist.' Aedan watched with fascination. He once dreamed of seeing one in real life. But humans killed those, just as they'd one day kill off nymphs and elves.

"What it would be like to see a real one," Amelia remarks wistfully. Humans seemed to have a tendency to destroy the true magic in the world and it was always discouraging.

'There has to be some. Somewhere. Its impossible to imagine that they're all just gone.' Aedan didn't realise he was still holding Amelia's hand, they just seemed to stop hand in hand.

Amelia finds herself nodding a little at his words. "Maybe someone was able to get a few somewhere safe and they're hiding," she muses. As they stood there, she held onto his hand a little tighter.

Glancing over at Amelia, Aedan couldn't help but smile. He wanted that to be true about dragons and about any number of other animals said to be extinct. 'Like griffons. I want them to still be alive.'

Feeling his eyes on her, Amelia turns her head and gives a tiny smile. "I think that they're all somewhere safe and protected from mankind's touch."

He knew it was a childish hope. But when your life is full of darkness, you sought it out. Aedan nodded. 'I used to dream about being a performer like that,' he said, pointing at the bards who sang to accompany the other performers.

Her attention goes to the bards and she smiles. "Really? Imagine if I was watching you put there. I would be cheering loudly," Amelia grins.

'You wouldn't have met me if I was a bard up there. I'd have lass arseholes to fix.' Aedan swore under his breath and apologised for swearing. 'I'm surrounded by people who swear constantly.'

Amelia shook her head. "It's alright. I've heard plenty of swearing before," she assures with a smile.(edited)

'You say that, but you haven't heard it when Glade caught his...' Aedan's eyes widened. 'Uh, toe in a door of a temple.'

Her brow arches at that. "His toe, you say?" Amelia drawls, a little amused.

'Maybe a wee bit higher on his body. But I didn't tell you that.' Aedan said with a chuckle.

"Ahh, and was it truly a temple?" Amelia laughs.

'I'm sure he did it in a temple once. But it might not be a holy place. Look, I was trying to spare you the image.' Aedan tried not to laugh, but it was hard.

That caused Amelia to give an amused laugh, head shaking at what he was describing. "Some interesting characters you associate with."

'Glade is probably the least interesting of them all,' Aedan said. 'And I'll never let you meet them in case they corrupt you.'

"Who is to say I'm not already corrupted," Amelia countered with a playful glint in her eyes.

Aedan raised his eyebrows. 'Oh really? You've seen men catch themselves in doors often?'

Amelia gives a shrug of her shoulders, smiling coyly. "Perhaps."

He really was curious now. Aedan thought it was a very 'Glade' thing to do something so ridiculous. But to think that others had... 'Please tell me you're joking. I don't want to think it's a common thing.'

She laughs. "Men seem to do lots of things when they're in a rush," Amelia remarks.

'How many naked men have you chased out- Nevermind. No need to answer that.' Aedan tried not to imagine the scenarios, but all of them ended in either ridiculous or rude ways. It gave him quite the odd expression.

Amelia's head shakes, laughing once again. "A woman has to have some secrets, mon ami. I can't tell you everything," she jokes. The looks on his face was too funny.

'There are things better left unsaid.' Aedan huffed a chuckle and turned his attention to the next portion of the parade. The depiction of the Prince of Spirits falling in love with a swan that turned into a beautiful spirit and eloping with her. Aedan wanted to point out that he must've been an elf. An elf and a druid if he wanted to even see the spirit. But he didn't need the attention.

"Exactly," Amelia chuckles before her attention goes back to the parade. She watches with interest at the story being told. She always found these sort of tales fascinating, reminding her of the ones her mother would tell her.

'Dedrek once told me that the royal family like to pretend that they're descended from the spirits,' Aedan whispered to Amelia.

"Really?" Amelia asks as she turns her face to look at him. "The royals seem like the type to make their past seem more fantastical than it truly is."

'Of course they do. They want to justify their ownership of the natives,' Aedan said.

"If they truly were, I am sure their ancestors would frown upon their actions," Amelia remarks.

Aedan huffed a small laugh, a little sour from the treatment of his people. 'One day they'll learn. I believe they will.' He just hoped it would be through peaceful means.

Amelia nods at his words in understanding. "I'm sure they will one day. There is always hope for change."

'Oh, there the little bugger is. Oi, elf!' The sound of heavy footsteps parted the crowd and Glade appeared through them. 'Me and Neris've been looking for you. There's a thing going on where two jesters are gonna see how many cakes can they eat. Loser has to strip down and-' Glade stopped halfway through what he was saying to stare at Amelia. 'Ah, oh. Um. A woman? Or a... woman?'

Aedan stared blankly at Glade for a good minute. 'What the fuc- What are you going on about, Glade?'

Amelia's head shifts to the side towards the commotion and she sees someone approaching them. When Aedan refers to him as Glade, she almost laughs a little as she remembered what they had been talking about prior. Instead, she manages to compose herself. She puts on a polite smile and directs it toward him. "Hello," she greets, trying to be friendly, despite what had just potentially implied about her.

'This is Amelia, Glade. She owns the apocathary I go to in Estherdale.' Aedan tried not to go red with embarassment. 

'Oh! Right. So that's why you insist... alright.' Glade winked at Aedan and offered his hand to Amelia in a faux courtly way. 

'You pay him.' 

'Glade!' 

'A joke. It's a joke.'

Amelia glances between the two of them, noticing Aedan's slightly flushed features, before her attention goes back to Glade. "And what would I exactly be paying him for?" She questions, wondering how the man would respond if he actually had to say his meaning out loud. She offers her hand to give his a small shake in greeting. "Charmed to meet you, Glade. Say, you look like the type of fellow to have some trouble with doors," she remarks, keeping the innocent smile on her face.

'What do you think?' Glade said with a grin, clearly enjoying Aedan's embarassment. But then his smile faltered when she mentioned the door. Before he erupted into laughter. 'Oh, I like her! You make sure he doesn't get lose you.'

Amelia's head tilts and she shakes it a bit. "No, I haven't the slightest clue," she responds. "I will keep a close eyes on him. He's been kind enough to escort me around this big city so I don't run into an unsavory characters."

Glade glanced between Aedan and Amelia and gave a vague gesture to Aedan. 'Really? No one is paying?' Aedan glowered at Glade until he stopped with this nonsense. 'Well, a---nyway. Me and Neris are going to watch a jester puke on his jerkin and get paraded naked by his big toes. I you want to join us?'

"Sometime it isn't necessary to purchase company," Amelia replies, feeling sorry that Aedan was having to deal with the remarks. When he mentions what he was going off to do, she makes a slight face of displeasure. "No, thank you. Others humiliation isn't my idea of a fun way to spend my time."

Glade made a dismissive noise and playfully waved her away. 'You're not normal, girl. You.' He gestured to Aedan. 'You sure you want to miss out on it?' 

'I'm certain. Thanks anyway, Glade.' Aedan turned Amelia away from Glade and guided her away through the crowd. He tried to urge his flush of embarrasment down. 'Sorry about him. He's a good man.'

Amelia gave a slight smile. "What good is it to be normal anyway?" She counters, giving him a wink. With that said, she follows Aedan away. She shakes her head. "Oh, it's alright. I'm sure he thought I would blush like most women would. No harm done."

'Right. Of course.' Aedan gave her a hesitant smile, wondering what she thought of him or his 'companions' given the nonsense she'd heard from Glade. 'He's actually the one who needed all that medicine last time. Something... bit his arm nearly clean off.' You wouldn't have known it given how healthy his arm looked now.

Amelia smiles back at him. "He seems nice though," she assures. She wasn't really put off by his friend, if anything she had been a little amused at the conversation. "He was?" She was surprised by that. He looked perfectly fine now. "Whoever worked on him did a very good job."

Aedan tried to hide his smile when she unknowingly complimented his handiwork. 'I don't think he'd be smiling half as much if it weren't for your medicine.'

Amelia chuckles a bit. "I am just happy it could help in some way."

Aedan flashed her a smile, but the truth was that the medicine for Glade's injury had set both men back. Aedan just hoped they didn't get sick during winter or come face to face with another monster.

"What do you all do when you can't get to the city for supplies and medicine?" Amelia questions, curious.

'I try to make the medicine, myself. I have a wee book with stuff about the power of plants. But if that doesn't work, we have to let nature take its course.' Aedan knew it wasn't the best thing to say, but it was true. And what was the point in telling her otherwise?

"Plants have so many different uses. Once you learn what they all can do, it really isn't hard to concoct remedies," Amelia nods. She thinks for a moment. "You know, sometimes I don't make enough to fill bottles fully the way I like. I have some extra stock that is just sitting around in my backroom... If you can spare to make another trip to my shop, I could give them to you."

Aedan stared blankly at Amelia for a long minute as he tried to understand that she was offering free medicine. ‘Are you sure? I don’t want to impose on you and what not.’

Amelia offered him a smile. "I don't think you could impose if I am the one who is offering," she chuckles. "I'm sure." She places her hand on his forearm. "If it will help you, I want you to have them."

The idea that he wouldn't have to let Neria or Glade die made Aedan feel the kind of happiness that you feel when an old friend you feared dead had returned. And it also meant that he could prevent Tyr dying - which meant Duny would never get full ownership of the group. 'You're a literal lifesaver, you know that?' He wanted to hug her, but he found himself holding back.

Amelia watched him for a moment and she smiled at his words. She wasn't some heartless shop owner. At times, she would accept small items like bags of oats or flour as payment or just tell others that they could pay whatever they could. She even would give it to free to some of the people who couldn't afford to pay. Her business was to help people, not rob them blind. "I don't know about all that, she laughs, glancing down for a moment.

Aedan knew he’d have to repay her some other way. Perhaps he could bring her herbs only people living in the wild could find? He was tentative to give her pelts in case she didn’t honour them properly. Maybe some of Dedrek’s home brewed cider? ‘You’ve saved my life. And Glade’s.’

Amelia looks at him once more and smiles. "I wouldn't want anything to happen to you out there. So if the medicine will at least help with some things, then that is all I care about."

Aedan ducked his head to try to hide his smile. He wasn’t used to people caring.

Amelia watches him, giggling a little. "You don't have to do that, you know? There's nothing wrong with letting people see you smile."

Aedan glanced over at her, suddenly feeling very shy about how he reacted to compliments and other sweet things. ‘I wish I had more reason to smile.’

Amelia placed a hand on his cheek, her touch gentle. "You can always find a reason to smile. You just have to look for it."

Aedan huffed a small, breathless chuckle and reached up to touch her hand where it rested. If only she knew. 'Then let's make more reasons to smile.' He looked up at a small group of muscians who were allowing onlookers to try their hand at their instruments.

Amelia smiled a little. "Don't laugh, it's true. Even on my saddest day, I manage to find something to bring a smile to my face." She knew it was silly, but she thought it was important. Her gaze follows where he directed his and she nods. "Yes, let's."

Aedan knew that she would never know his situation. That she'd never really understand why he hid his smile. Taking her hand, he walked with her to the musicians and watched as they tried to play a song with a wee lad who'd never touched pan pipes before.

Amelia wished that they could get to know each other more, but it always seemed he wished to hide who he was. She didn't want to pry too much, but she couldn't help her curiosity to find out who he really was. She holds onto his hand and follows him over to the musicians, smiling at the child trying to play.

'So,' Aedan said with a wee conspiratorial smile. 'Do you want a try?'

Amelia giggles and eyes the pan flute before nodding.

Aedan waved over one of the musicians. 'My friend would like to try. Can she?' The musician grinned and took Amelia's hand. 'Come on then. Let's try out something. Pick anything you'd like.'

Amelia smiles and gives a grateful nod to the man. "Merci," she thanks before she reaches for the pan flute. She looks it over for q minute with a faint look of remembrance in her eyes. "May I?"

The musician nodded with a bright smile and gave a theatrical bow ready for Amelia to perform.

Laughing a bit, she licks at her lips and begins to play the flute. A gentle and soothing melody begins to leave the instrument as she plays for the crowd.

Smiling, Aedan folded his arms and leaned on the nearby wall to watch her play. He used to play the lute, but not nearly half as well as she seemed to play the flute. A crowd gathered, admiring her and a part of Aedan wondered if she was wholly human. Perhaps she was part elf? Or a mythical nymph? He had to chuckle at that thought. If they existed, they didn't come to things like this.

Amelia glanced around at all the people watching and she wondered if they would be doing so if they knew the truth. She liked to think so, but it was hard to say. Picking up the hem of her dress, she begins to dance around as she plays; the way she moves entrancing and graceful.

Aedan joined the crowd as they started to clap in time with the playing. Some clearly misunderstood, thinking that she was a member of the group of performers. So the real musicians joined in with her tune.

Amelia felt true joy as everyone started to clap along and the band joined in. She continued to play and dance, doing her best not to grin and mess herself up.

While Amelia danced and sang, Aedan didn't realise someone had joined him. Not until he felt someone pinch his arse. He turned to give them a mouthful until he realised who it was. 'Neris? Thought you and Glade were going to molest a jester.' Neris grinned up at him, scantily clad in only a few silks, exposing her corset. 'Glade told me that you have a new friend. I wanted to meet the special someone.' She looked about them, trying to figure out who it was. Then her eyes followed Aedan's. 'Oh. Oh, she's wonderful.'

Amelia reached into her satchel with her free hand and began to hand out flowers to people as she played. Children trids to grab at them as she offered them to all that were watching. Approaching Aedan and the woman next to him, she first offered a white lily to the stranger and then she gave Aedan a purple bell flower.

Aedan's smile only grew as Amelia started to hand out flowers. 'She's perfect,' he said under his breath. But Neris heard and couldn't help but jostle him. 'Just be careful with her.' When Amelia handed them both a flower, Aedan thanked her and ran his fingers over the bell flower's petals. 'I won't let anything happen to her. Look.' He held up his flower. 'She knows the way to my heart.'

Amelia sent a playful wink toward Aedan after she handed him his. She loved that she was getting a smile from him and that he seemed to be more at ease than any time she had seen him in her shop. She finishes handing them out before returning to the band and giving a quick ending to the song. Once done, she gives a bow, grinning from ear to ear at everyone.

When Amelia rejoined him, Aedan gestured to Neris with the flower. 'Amelia, this is Neris. Neris, this is Amelia.' He didn't realise that Neris looked inappropriately underdressed.

Once she joins him again, Amelia takes in the woman that was standing with him. Her eyes scan over her attire, but she just giggles. "You seem as if you a dressed very comfortably," she jokes. "Wonderful to meet you."

'See? Only another woman would know the joys of dressing well.' Neris jabbed Aedan playfully with her elbow. 'Lovely to meet you, sweetie. You're the reason Aedan smiles whenever we visit Estherdale?'

"If I didn't have to get dressed some days, I wouldn't complain," Amelia laughs good heartedly. When she mentions Aedan smiling when he comes to the city, it creates a flutter in Amelia's stomach. "Am I? If so, well.. I'm honored," she smiles.

Aedan flushed as the women both talked about dressing in next to nothing. The only reason Neris didn't dress properly was because of her job. Or at least, that was what Aedan had always assumed. 'I don't think men would get away with it,' he said, idly.

Amelia reaches to get a feel of the silks of her skirts and nods at the material. "Very nice," she remarks. Glancing over to Ardan, she laughs. "Probably not. I think women can get away with a little more since we're nice to look at," she jokes.

‘Are you saying that I’m not nice to look at?’ Aedan said, playfully pretending to be insulted.

Amelia pretends as if she's looking him over. "I couldn't say for sure. I've never seen you undressed."

Aedan immediately turned pink at that. ‘Few people have.’ ‘I have! But only because everyone in the camp has,’ Neris added before Amelia could get jealous.

"A shame," Amelia tells him, smiling a little. At the mention of the other woman having seen him, she felt a tinge of jealousy that quickly dissipated. "Oh? Do you make a habit of running around your camp nude?"(edited)

'Don't you know?' Neris said with a playful smile. 'Aedan's one of those special men gifted in the art of magic.' Aedan rolled his eyes and moved the women out of the way of a passing group of strangers. 'Why did I know you were going to say that?'

"Is he? And that means he has to wear no clothes?" Amelia laughs and steps aside at his guidance so she wasn't in the way of others. "Are you really a magic man?" She grins.

'She thinks all druids like to get naked.' Aedan poked Neris in the side. 'Stop telling people.' 'No and no. All druids have to get naked. They breathe through their skin and have tiny roots in the bottom of their feet. That's why they don't eat much.' Neris continued with her playful nonsense, well aware that none of those folkstories were true.

Amelia looked at him a moment. "There has to be some truth to what you hear in folklore. You tell me nature doesn't give you some sort of strength?" She smiles.

'Nature does, sure. But I don't have bloody roots for toes,' Aedan said with a chuckle.

Amelia giggles and pokes at his chest. "So you say," she jokes.

'Yes I do say.' Aedan kept smiling. 'But I don't walk about camp naked everyday. I assure you.'

Amelia still had the smile on her face, the expression not seeming to fade as she joked around with the man. "I think if you did, it would get rather cold after awhile."

'After a while? I'd be a frozen man right now if I did walk about naked.' Aedan couldn't believe Neris' cheek in dragging them to this conversation.

"And we wouldn't want that, now would we? I get a letter one day telling me you have turned into a frozen statue in some forest somewhere," Amelia giggles.

'I hope to the spirits that I never, ever get frozen while naked. I don't want to be remembered with my- Naked.' Aedan huffed a laugh.

"That would be a terrible way to go," Amelia shakes her head at the image in her head.

Aedan fell quiet as they walked aimlessly through the city, the sound of the Parade in the distance. 'You don't mind that I'm a druid?'

Amelia knew of the stories of druids, how the strong ones were powerful enough to control and manipulate her kind if they so wished it. But she felt that Aedan wouldn't do such a thing if he found out what she was. "No, not at all," she answers.

Aedan's anxiety slipped away now he knew she accepted him for what he was. 'I appreciate it. Really.'

"Of course. We all should be a little more accepting of one another... We all breathe and bleed after all," Amelia muses.

'I bleed tree sap,' Aedan said, flatly.

"So if I ever want some for a treat, I know where to get it," Amelia cheekily responds, sending a look his way.

'Of course,' Aedan said, clearly oblivious of any flirtatious connotation.

Amelia laughs bit, head shaking in amusement.

Aedan led the way to a small grassy hill overlooking the river. 'Gods, it's beautiful,' Neris practically cooed. Aedan huffed in disapproval. Nature was harmed so this city to live. He could never really like being in Farington city walls.

Amelia looked out and just observed for a minute. While she couldn't deny that cities did have beautiful architecture at times, it wasn't the same kind of beauty as nature. "I suppose so," she murmurs. Instead of continuing to look, she rested back on the grassy hill. Laying there, she felt the grass underneath her hands and she smiled.

Sitting on the grass, Aedan followed where Amelia's attention went. But Neris remained standing. 'You're not joining us?' 'I would, but Tyr said he'll be needing me soon. Speaking of, he might need you, too. But I'd wait, just in case I'm wrong.' Neris smiled down at Amelia. 'It was lovely to meet you.'

Amelia looks at the woman and smiles. "It was lovely to meet you too. Enjoy the rest of your weekend."

Neris hurried off, leaving Aedan and Amelia together. 'She was right. Our boss did mention that I might have to work this afternoon.' He leaned back on his elbows to watch the clouds crossing the pale blue autumn sky.

Amelia glances over to him and did her best to hide the disappointment she felt at the idea of him leaving. "Oh. Well I... wouldn't want to keep you."

'I'm not going anywhere, yet. Not until I'm dragged away by my feet,' Aedan said, teasing her.

That brought up Amelia's mood and she giggled. "Then lay back and watch the clouds with me."

Laying his head back down onto the damp grass, Aedan watched the clouds drift by. 'Istarans said that dragons put the clouds up there with their breath. But my people say they're spirits of air, watching over us and granting us rain with their tears whenever we need our crops watered.'

Amelia felt content and she was sure it was a mixture of nature and the man laying next to her. As she watched the fluffy clouds in the sky, she listened to his voice and smiled. "The way you explain it makes it sound like poetry."

Aedan tilted his head to look at her, a smile on his lips. 'The stories used to be. But now we have writing, no one has to memorise it all.'

"I always thought the telling of stories was much more immersive and romantic than just reading them from a book," Amelia muses. "To hear it come from people's lips, to hear how it has changed but also stayed the same since it was told from past generations."

'My people didn't even write their stories down until Istara invaded,' Aedan said.

"It wasn't their place to force the stories to be written down," Amelia replies, head shaking a bit.

'It wasn't their place for a lot of things,' Aedan said.

"They seem to just do whatever they want, don't they? And no one can stop them," Amelia remarks.

[sxciallygray]

Let her go (Colby Brock)

A/N: Hi everybody!! So here I am with a Colby imagine that I hope you like as much as I liked writing, just keep in mind this is not the end of it. The idea that came into my mind (inspired by the song Fix You by Colplay, that you can find on this playlist I used while writing this part) is much longer, but I figured it was better to separate it in two parts because at first I thought about waiting until I had both parts written to post anything but I’m way too excited to wait.

I also have a bunch of little imagines in mind related with these two, so don’t be shy and send me some asks about whatever you want if you want us to discuss ideas :)

Warnings: English is not my first language so I’m sorry in advance if I made some mistakes and this part has mostly angst, but also little fluffy flashbacks.

Colby and (Y/N) had started dating at a young age, 18 years old – which is consider young if your goal is to find the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. (Y/N) was a firm believer that, nowadays, if you start dating young odds are you’re not going to last and it wasn’t a belief she liked, she was a romantic and wanted to find her soulmate.

That is the reason why, before Colby - as sad as it sounds - the few people she had dated were doomed to not last. However, Colby was different, she wanted him to be the person she spent the rest of her life with. Same was for Colby, he was infatuated by (Y/N)’s big heart, her love for animals or how caring she was with everyone around her, not to mention the smile that made him lost track of time, how she goes quiet whenever she feels anxious, the way she laughs at the silliest things, the fact that she enjoyed watching horror movies by herself – like a complete psycho.

It was no secret they were made for each other, but they were young and life has its ways of stepping on people’s happiness.

Although they had a lot in common, starting with their adventurous nature – (Y/N) didn’t hesitate for a second when Colby asked her to move with him and Sam to LA, she was ready for a new chapter – they didn’t share a path career wise. Colby wanted to persuade his and Sam’s dream, while on the other side you have (Y/N), the one who loved studying and keep learning new things the damaged education system had to offer. She had a plan for herself in LA, she wasn’t going to settle to be Colby’s girlfriend on the eyes of the world because she was made to be the leader of her own exciting story.

As mentioned before, (Y/N) has a huge heart, she loves helping people in every way possible, so she enrolled college as a future social worker, she wanted to see a change in the world and as small as her part on it was, she wanted to start somewhere. Colby supported her every step of the way, he would surprise her by picking her up at campus, he would stay up until crazy hours of the night to make her company while she studied and if needed he would help her quizzing her about the subject she was preparing, but he would specially be there for all those times she would break down crying out of stress because there were too many papers, exams, also the part time job she took so she could afford living in LA once she ran out of her savings didn’t help her with the time management.

 “You’re a liar!” (Y/N) couldn’t believe her eyes as she ran towards an amused Colby leaning against his red Toyota parked right outside her faculty.

Colby had been gone for over a week to film a Sam and Colby video and he had told (Y/N) a different date for his return, one that was a couple more days down the line.

“I can leave if you want” he joked when she was close enough to throw herself in his direction, giving him the tightest hug.

“Please do, it would add more drama to the situation” they both laugh, still hugging each other, only to lock lips as soon as (Y/N) pulled back “I missed this” she hummed against his lips as the kiss got heated, specially from Colby’s side “maybe we should go home and catch up” with all the strength in her she had to pull back and keep her hands on Colby’s chest when his lips tried to follow hers to continue the kiss.

“I made plans for us” Colby groaned, to what (Y/N) could only laugh at how he looked so bumped out by the plans he had made himself, suddenly seeing the lust on (Y/N)’s eyes and how she wanted to ‘catch up’ sounded like the perfect plan.

“Then we’ll have to wait” her eyes couldn’t lie, she was excited about those plans he had in mind for them, she loved how thoughtful Colby was.

“But I want to catch up” he whined in a funny tone that only made (Y/N) laugh harder.

 Colby was as supportive as she was for him when it came to his youtube career. Countless times she would come up with ideas for his videos, she would take part on them if it was necessary, she learned how to edit so she could finish his videos every time he would fall asleep after being seated in front of the computer for hours, she would go with him to every award show, premiere or party that he got invited to even if she had to wake up bright and early the next day.

 Three hours was how long it took for (Y/N) to check on Colby after he disappeared into his office to edit his new video, she had taken that time to do some cleaning around the apartment and finish a paper for one of her classes. It was late and it wasn’t like Colby to not take a break to come out and eat something during his process of editing, that’s why she decided to check on him.

What she found when she opened the door was heartwarming. Colby had his head laying on the desk, mouth slightly open, eyes closed and headphones weirdly positioned on part of his face while there was nothing playing on the screen because it had been too long and the program had run out of footage.

“Colby” she kept her voice a whisper to not scare him, although she knew it would be unlikely to wake him up by just whispering “Coooolby” now the tone was louder while she removed the headphones from his head, but still no reaction at all.

It wasn’t going to work unless there was physical contact so she started to run her fingers through his hair, gaining a hum from the sleepy boy “Come on, let’s go to bed” she said softly, getting closer so she could kiss his temple, to what he reacted by finally opening his eyes, he looked confused and kind of lost “you fell asleep while editing” she explained “come with me” with a light pull on his hand Colby stood up, not keeping his balance very well, he was still more asleep than awake.

“I have to finish the video” it was almost impossible to understand what he was saying, he was finally lying in bed and he automatically closed his eyes when he started mumbling a bunch of nonsense.

“Just take some rest, you’ll finish it later” that made him shut up about the video and fall back to sleep, which (Y/N) took as her opportunity to go into his office and finish editing the video for him.

The whole thing ended up with Colby waking up the next morning really confused, first because he didn’t know how he had ended in the bed, and second because (Y/N) wasn’t sleeping next to him.

He looked around the small apartment, her phone was on the kitchen counter next to her laptop and a pile of notes for her classes, but she was nowhere to be found, so he tried the last place he thought she would be – his office.

“(Y/N), hey, wake up” he squatted next to the chair where she had fallen asleep, takin her hand in his and giving it a squeeze. When she opened her eyes and met a smile appeared on Colby’s face “why are you doing sleeping here?” he chuckled when she frowned like she didn’t even know the answer to that, but memories came quick to her memory.

“I finished your video” she pointed towards the computer, she still sounded a little groggy “and then… I don’t know” while she rubbed the sleep from her eyes she tried to remember at what point she fell asleep, but there was no memory of that.

What (Y/N) couldn’t realize in her tired state was the adoration on Colby’s face, he thought it was impossible to be more in love with her, but every day he found something else that made him fall harder and harder.

“Why don’t we go back to bed? Both of us” at that appealing proposition (Y/N) could only nod, a big smile on her face as she took Colby’s hand and let him lead her to their bedroom.

    It had been two years of their new found dynamic when (Y/N) got herself the opportunity of a lifetime; she had got offered a scholarship to study her third year in Chicago. To say she was excited wasn’t good enough to describe how she got home that day, bursting through the door screaming and jumping, talking so fast Colby couldn’t understand what she was saying, but once he did he was just as excited for her as she was.

They both knew that if she took that opportunity they would have to deal with a long distance relationship, for the year that the scholarship lasted though. Here’s the thing, they were okay with it, they supported and loved each other so much that they would go through a year of texts, facetimes, phone calls and brief visits if that meant (Y/N) got to live an experience like that.

Their willingness to go through didn’t mean they expected it to be as hard at it ended up being. At first they called each other every day, but as their schedules got busier it became harder to keep that pace. They didn’t make a big deal out of it because they still talked regularly.

But things got rough, whenever (Y/N) felt the stress of classes taking over her and she couldn’t get a hold of Colby she felt like they were getting farther away than the distance between Chicago and LA. Same for Colby, whenever he got frustrated with a video and he needed (Y/N) to feel better about it, but she wouldn’t pick up because she was in class meaning he had no idea when he could talk with her, Colby got even more frustrated.

Love was stronger than that, or so they liked to believe, because they didn’t want to face a reality where they were drifting apart.

As the year came to an end Colby thought they would finally go back to their normality, the beautiful dynamic they shared. They would be a team again, but (Y/N) had other plans and she was scared to share them with Colby in case things ended poorly.

Her fears made her not say a word about it for the first couple of days once she was back home, but Colby knew her very well and he knew behind all that happiness there was something hiding.

“What’s going on?” Colby was sitting on the kitchen counter, watching (Y/N) make dinner, when the question he had been dying to ask left his lips.

“What do you mean? I’m making dinner, that’s going on” (Y/N) chuckled, not even turning around, not realizing how serious Colby was.

“No, what’s going on with you?” that made (Y/N) turn to see the expression on Colby’s face, he looked sad and that’s when she knew it was time to tell him “you’re back, but most of the time it feels like you’re still gone”

The boy wasn’t wrong, she stressed so much about how to tell him that a lot of times she was somewhere else deep in her thoughts.

(Y/N) moved closer to him, standing in the gap between her legs, she grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. Colby smiled softly, giving her hand a squeeze, he couldn’t help it every time she was close to him and as much as she hated doing it (Y/N) had to break the news to him, even if seeing him smiling at her like that in front of her made the girl question her decision, she had to do it.

“I got offered an international voluntary work” Colby’s smile vanished, it was replaced by a confused frown.

“Did you take it?” he was scared of the answer, of how it would feel to know she had made such a big decision without telling him first, not like he had to give her permission, but she was planning on making a huge change and they were on a relationship, he deserved to know, right?

“No, I told them I needed to think about it, I wanted to talk about it with you first” that made him feel like a weight had been lifted of his shoulders “but I want to go” he shouldn’t be surprised, but he was. He didn’t intent on letting go of her hand as fast as he did, but he did it anyways. The action broke (Y/N)’s heart as much as her words had broken Colby’s.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” the tone on his voice was calmed, almost distant.

“Because I was scared of how this could affect us” they were an honest couple, they shared their fears with each other even if that fear involved the other person.

“and how is this supposed to affect us?” he needed to know where she wanted to go with all of it, did she want to break up with him?

“I don’t know… I guess I was hoping we could just keep going the way we had been going this past year” breaking up was the last option, but she didn’t want to lie to herself because it was still a possibility.

Silence filled the room, Colby’s brain working at full speed trying to process the situation unfolding in front of him and how to respond to it, he wished there was a manual with an answer of what to do in a moment like this.

Even if he wanted to say it was going to be okay if they did that, if they spent separated who knows how long this time, he couldn’t – because he didn’t know if they would be okay doing that again.

“Can I…” his voice got caught up, making him have to clear his throat to speak with a steady voice “Can I just have some time to think about it?”

“Yes, yeah, of course you can” (Y/N)’s tone was understanding, because even if this situation broke her heart, she had time to process the information from the day she was offered the job up until this point, so she wasn’t going to ask an immediate response from Colby right away “I’m sorry Colbs” that caught his attention “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner”

He flashed a sad smile in her direction, he knew she was really sorry and not only for not telling him sooner but for putting them in that position.

“We’ll figure things out, don’t worry” one of his hands moved up to her cheek, having physical contact with Colby again made (Y/N)’s nerves die down, it made her hopeful they would actually find a solution “we always figure things out” he murmured before planting a kiss on her temple.

The next couple of days were weird. It felt like something had been taken away from both of them already, the tense atmosphere every time they were in the same room at the same time. (Y/N) was waiting on Colby to say what was going on through his head and Colby didn’t know how to word the thoughts running wild in his mind.

Trying to figure things out by his own became a nightmare so he spent more time at Sam’s apartment than his and (Y/N)’s making her think things were worse than what she anticipated.

It all happened exactly four days later while they were watching a movie in the comfort of their living room, the fact that something felt odd didn’t mean they weren’t a couple or didn’t stop them from their routine.

“Do you really think we can do long distance again?” That was the question that started all. One second they were paying attention to the movie, the next Colby was asking that out of the blue “it’s not like you’re going to Chicago, you’re going who knows where internationally”

(Y/N) moved to be sitting sideways, facing Colby, if they were about to have that conversation it had to be face to face “Mozambique” last time they talked about it they didn’t get to the point of where was she going exactly and knowing it know didn’t help either.

“That’s not a plane ride away, that’s a different continent and a whole different hemisphere!” Colby didn’t really wanna lose his shit, but he did. Because deep down he thought maybe they could do it, maybe they could go through it again and make it to the other side victorious, but knowing she was going to the other side of the world was a different story “tell me, do you really think we can do that much of a long distance?” as quickly as he had lost his nerves he went back to calmness, at least an exterior one.

(Y/N) didn’t answer right after, she knew the answer to that question and she didn’t want to say it out loud, she didn’t want to be the responsible for trashing their relationship, but even given the circumstances Colby didn’t blame her, not even the smallest bit. He could be feeling all kinds of heartache, but at the end of it all he would always be proud of her for chasing after her dream, he would blame himself if he tried to stop her just to stay there with him.

“(Y/N) I want you to be yourself, I want you to experience everything life has to offer you” he placed a hand on her knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

She knew what he meant, she knew each of them were their own person and it was just too bad their paths weren’t crossing but taking very different directions.

“Are we…” it was too scary for her to finish the sentence and Colby was quick to cut her off.

“No” he chuckled, maybe way too nervous to admit that they were going to do what he least wanted “I love you”

“And I love you too” (Y/N) almost interrupted him, but she needed to know she had reminded Colby.

“More than I’ve ever loved anybody”

“But what if that is just not enough anymore” the words left her mouth before she could even process them.

The room fell silent again, making both look down, realizing that it was probably not enough to keep their relationship alive for another year while they were apart.

“So what does this mean? Are we…” his voice was low, almost a whisper. Neither of them could finish the damn sentence and say out loud anything related to breaking up because that was too real.

With all the hurt in her heart (Y/N) nodded, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. It was over, just like that, four years of relationship had come to an end. For some reason she wished it was different, that she could blame Colby because he had done something wrong or because they didn’t love each other anymore or the relationship had become toxic, she wished she could hate him, but that wasn’t the case. It was over while they still loved each other deeply and unconditionally.

The moment (Y/N) looked up she noticed the silent tears running down Colby’s cheeks, making her sight get blurrier with her own tears.

“I should…” she was pointing in the direction of their room, unable to finish the sentence with her shaky voice. Colby knew what she meant, nevertheless. she meant she should pack her things, so he just nodded as he whipped his tears and tried to collect himself.

(Y/N) didn’t wait another second and started her way to their room, a tight feeling growing in her chest with every step she took, she couldn’t believe that was it, that would be one of the last moments she would live with Colby, the boy she considered the love of her life as cheesy as that sounded – she hated cheesy stuff, but not when it was related to Colby, she loved everything about that goof emo boy.

Colby stood up too, with the intention of going next door to his best friend’s apartment. If there was something he couldn’t do that was watch (Y/N) pack her things to leave him all by himself in their apartment, the one they had decorated together, the one they had so many memories in. He couldn’t stand the thought of letting her go, so he had to get out of the picture.

Before he could move from his spot (Y/N)’s arms were wrapped around his neck in a tight hug and he didn’t hesitate a second when it came to hugging her back, he wrapped his arms around her trembling body. He couldn’t see her face, but he could hear her sniffles, he could feel her racing heart against his chest and her wet cheek when it came into contact with the skin of his neck.

Sometimes actions speak louder than words, this was one of those times. The only sound audible in the room being their quiet sobs as they held each other close for one last time, too scared to let go of that moment because they would be entering the unknown, a new chapter on their lives they didn’t count on it being them taking different directions.

After a few minutes (Y/N) had to pull back, she knew if she stayed longer she would never leave and she had to. Colby didn’t make it easy either, he was holding onto her for dear life, he knew that saying about letting someone you love go, then if they come back that means they’re yours, but in that moment he thought that was bullshit – for Colby it had always been clear, they were it for each other.

Sadly, for the young man, he couldn’t make her stay if that wasn’t what she wanted. For the look on her face when she pulled back from his embrace he would swear she wanted to stay there with him, his body reacted to it automatically dropping his hands a few inches to hold her tight by her waist.

A little smile appeared on (Y/N)’s sad face at his action, but it also made the tears roll faster down her blush cheeks.

Unlike Colby’s hands, (Y/N)’s went up, from his shoulder to his neck, using her thumbs to caress his soft jaw. Eyes traveling from his lips – those she adored kissing – to his nose, with that shiny piercing that she remembered holding his hand while he was getting it, up to his gorgeous blue eyes now filled with tears. One of her hands moved further up to his cheeks – his immediate reaction was leaning on her touch – while her other hand traveled up to the blue tips of his hair, that only made his beauty look even more out of this world.

In that moment Colby only wanted to do one thing, beg her to stay. He would get on his knees if that was what it took. Instead, he said nothing, he just looked at her with eyes still filled with love and adoration like they had always been for her.

“Please take care of yourself Colbs” voice broken just like the look on her eyes as she pulled away from him, immediately feeling cold without his touch against her skin.

Colby couldn’t bring himself to say anything back, he could only watch as she turned around and made her way into their bedroom, closing the door behind her instead of coming back to his arms again.

With a door between them is when they finally broke. (Y/N) didn’t even take a step before dropping on the floor, back against the door, and broke into an uncontrolled crying, she had never felt that kind of pain before, how her chest hurt as if her heart had actually broken and how it felt like there was a part of her starting to get numb and lost.

On the other side of the door Colby could hear her sobs and it didn’t make it easy for his own crying. He couldn’t be there, not while she was crying on the other room and much less when she packed her things and leave, so he left to a safe place – Sam’s apartment.

That is how things turned out. That was the last time Colby saw (Y/N) before she left to start her new adventure far away from him, but don’t let them fool you, because that wasn’t the last time their paths were going to cross, just the same way life stepped in their way once it was about to step a second time to shake both of their worlds and change everything they thought they knew.

let me know what you think :)

All you had to do was stay, part 2

[chonisbestmistake]

Could you do jennie blackpink (dom) smut with girlfriend? Where jennie is angry over her S/O spending too much time out like hanging out with friends, going to clubs instead with her or something. Thank youuu

I liked the request and decided to play around with it a little bit. Hope you enjoy!

Warning: 18+; careful, you might slip into the subspace:)

[Not edited]

As soon as Jennie came back from their world tour, she demanded your attention.

But you were oh so busy to give her what she wanted.

Months spent without her by your side made you kind of a party girl, who tried to live her live without thinking about the distance between you two every two seconds.

There was no one to come home to, so it was pretty easy for you to fell for that wild life filled with cocktails, blasting music and dim lights.

Your friends saw you sulking already on the second day of Jennie`s tour and made it their goal to unwind you.

Of course, you didn`t say no.

After all, constant time difference between your city and your girlfriend`s location gave you an opportunity to party all night and face time her early in the morning.

It was hard at first - sleeping for about 4 hours and then studying till the evening - Jennie was worried, but you managed to get yourself through the day.

The thought of dancing later until the sun rises and then coming home to the lit up phone screen in the dark with Jennie`s naked body on full display made you excited to say the least.

So it was working perfectly for you - this kind of life style.

Days went by, then weeks. After 6 months after Jennie`s leaving you were so used to the low beats running through your body when you entered the familiar building, to the smell of the cigarettes in the cold club`s bathroom, to the scent of perfumes mixing together on the dance floor.

Of course, you never accepted anyone`s invitations, you stayed loyal. You had Jennie, the perfect girlfriend, who`s image and raspy voice made you cum almost every night.

And you were okay with it, it was enough. You got used to it after all - respecting her schedule and being an understanding partner, learning to satisfy your needs by yourself. Even with her little help.

So you were really shocked when after a week since she got back from her tour all hell broke loose and she threw a tantrum when you returned home at 4 in the morning (the usual time)

“Where the fuck have you been again?” She asked, raising her voice and folding her arms angrily.

“Um, the usual? The girls and I tried out this new club down the street. You should definitely come one day.”

“Are you serious right now? You`ve been partying all week and coming home in the morning, I dont even see you anymore!”

“Well, yeah, say thanks to your schedule, and i have classes all day, you know it. We spend the mornings together, like…we always do?” You were calm and tired, casually stripping off your clothes and preparing to go to bed.

“What do you even mean? Sex in the morning was never enough and you know it!”

"Well, we`ve managed to live like this for half a year now. The only time you were available was early in the mornings, so…”

“So? I was on tour, now i`m here. But you still prefer clubbing all night instead of spending your evenings with me.”

“Well, I got used to you being away, found a way to live without you by my side. That`s my life style now, get used to it.” You threw your shirt off and made your way to the bed.

Jennie was fuming behind your back, but you didn`t give her a single glance.

“What did you just say to me?”

Well, that was unexpected.

Her voice was low, poisoning, making goosebumps run down your spine.

You started to forget that part of her personality even existed after 6 months apart.

But now, that dominant, raspy voice made your hairs stand on end and your thoughts flew out of the window.

“I asked you a question, Y/N.”

What were you arguing about again? You tried to remember anything, to grab a hold of the remnants of your consciousness, but you already felt yourself slip into the subspace, your body reacting to that promising pleasure voice.

“Uh..”

Think, for fuck`s sake!

A minute of silence made you gulp nervously.

“Turn around.” She ordered and you did what was told without a second thought.

She stood right in front of you, eyes glistening in the dark and pulling you deeper into the right state of mind.

“On the bed.” She husked, not moving and you whimpered, climbing up on the mattress clumsily, your breathing starting to become uneasy.

“On your knees.” You let out a whine and complied, mentally preparing yourself for anything she had in mind.

“You`ve been such a bad girl, Y/N. I`ve been away for some time and look at you - my obedient little girl turned into a brat.” She said as if she was sad about the situation. But guilty? Hell no.

You huffed, still trying to argue silently. You were just trying to live through the day without being sad, no biggie, right?

“There was no one who could set the rules and punish you for a bad behavior, I see my mistake now. But you won`t suffer again like that, i promise.”

She padded your head lightly, standing above you, near the end of the bed. Her fingers ran through your hair, tangling and pulling slightly.

“I`m sorry.” You let out a sob. Now you knew you fucked up and you were going to get your ass beaten for that.

“It`s okay. You`re smart, you won`t do it again, i`m sure.”

She held your chin, leaving a light kiss on your lips, and you almost sighed before she took her hand away, her features turning darker and colder by the second.

Oh no.

“Turn around and count.”

Oh shit.

The first spank was the most unexpected and painful one and you couldn`t help but fall on your elbows, nose burying into the sheets.

“One.”

It was like riding a bicycle - remembering your old habits and lessons. Your learning to count without stammering was a hard process but you managed to catch on and ignore the burning sensation down your back pretty quickly. After all, you knew what you would get if you messed up the numbers.

This obedience was much appreciated by Jennie.

Your punishment went by so quickly, you didn`t even start to tear up yet, counting the last “20″ and moaning lowly while stretching your back.

Turned out you missed that part of your activities more than you thought you would.

“Oh, look at you, all dripping for me. And i didn`t even start with you yet.”

You looked at her over your shoulder and she gave you a sly grin.

Cat-like-eyes dropped to your core and your head fell back down onto the sheets when her fingers started to draw slow circles between your legs.

“Jennie-agh.”

You couldn`t help but mewl, enjoying the heat pulling down your waist and numbing your senses.

"Yes, honey. Im right here.”

She knew her playing with your clit was driving you insane.

Jennie just wouldn’t be Jennie if she didn’t taste your limits once in a while.

You were already desperate at this point - the punishment always led you to the edge.

This fucking limbo where the half of you was satisfyed with the burning and the other one screamed in pain made you whine and huff continuesly, untill Jennie started to put some much needed pressure on.

When your cries turned into moans, she climbed on the bed behind you and set the pace, stratching you slowly.

“More!” You couldn’t help but let out.

“What was that?” She stopped completely midaction and you whimpered at the loss of the movement.

“Please? More,please..please.” Your brain functioned in a slow motion and you struggled to let your words out.

“Thats better.” She picked up the pace and you sighed at the pleasure, feeling the tension build up inside you.

“Please, ah. Please!”

She spanked you again in return and you finally came, collapsing under her waight.

“So…will i have to argue with you about it again?” She rasped, laying beside you and peppering your back with kisses.

“What’s an arguement?” You managed to let out and sighed into her neck while she chuckled lowly, pulling you closer.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 242: SANTA IS REAL

Previously on BnHA: We said farewell to the League of Pliff and were finally reunited with the kids of U.A., an institution which I would just like to point out is so diametrical to the League that they literally took the polar opposite route when choosing their name, and focused only on the acronym. I’m 100% sure U.A. doesn’t even stand for anything. Anyway, so Bakugou and Todoroki went on whirlwind press tour following their ch 219 antics, and the resulting interviews were so disastrous that Aizawa decided to bring in Mt. Lady to give the whole class a crash course in PR 101. Meanwhile All Might scoured Ancestry.com for info on the past users of OFA, and Rat Principal announced that U.A. was going to resume its internship program. This is great news for Deku, who’s been taking his sweet time mastering Blackwhip. Like, we’re not even talking baby steps here so much as little tiny flea steps. Kid’s going to need all the help he can get.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi targets all of my weak points at once. The My OT3 Academia arc gets off to an incredible, award-winning start with a Christmas party and the announcement of Internships 2: This Time, it’s Compulsory. Highlights include: (1) Kaminari and Mina forcing Bakugou to accept the spirit of Christmas into his heart and soul, (2) Iida rocking a Santa beard, (3) Eri holding a giant sword, (4) Bakugou reminiscing about his internship with Best MIA Jeanist, specifically the part where Jeanist was all “A HERO’S NAME IS REALLY IMPORTANT AND SYMBOLIC AND MEANINGFUL, SO YOU NEED TO THINK VERY CAREFULLY ABOUT IT” and oh my fucking god, and lastly (5) Todoroki inviting Bakugou and Deku to come intern with him at the Endeavor Hero Agency (known for its famous business slogan: “Got Plot?”). It’s like I wished on seventeen different falling stars and they all came true at once. I still can’t even fucking process this. kfkdslgk.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

I just got like three excited-seeming asks (I haven’t actually read them yet) in rapidfire succession less than an hour ago, and my dashboard is now filling up with filtered “bnha spoilers” posts, so I took this as a sign that I should read the new chapter ASAP. oh gosh

(ETA:

(1) SAMEEEEEE, and (2) YEEEEEEEEP. listen I’m not religious you guys, but I said “oh my god” so much while reading this chapter that I wouldn’t be surprised if he or she finally answers and is like, “YES!? WHAT IS IT???”)

what new state-of-the-art tomfoolery will our intrepid heroes engage in this week. what novel hijinks will they commence. what frivolous escapades will they embark on this lovely Friday morn?

HOMGAAAHHHHHH

THE TITLE IS LITERALLY MY FEELINGS RN. MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO ME. YES GOD I LOVE IT. I’LL TAKE A DOZEN

okay. so today, September 6th, is officially Christmas. you heard the man and who am I to argue

so we’re opening with a teacher’s meeting! probably about the internships. or the fact that they’re all screwed. I don’t really know what their priorities are nowadays

okay yeah it’s about the internships. also Rat Principal is nested in Aizawa’s scarf for absolutely no reason, and Aizawa is disgruntled about it. heh. tomfoolery already and it’s only the first panel

oh shit, Nezu’s saying it’s now a government requirement. I got so surprised I actually forgot to call him RP

because ain’t nothing safer than hero internships. if the Basement arc taught us nothing else. it’s that

that was sarcasm in case that’s not coming across. this is clearly a baffling decision. but what are government committees for if not for making baffling decisions I guess

and now Midnight is coming to the same conclusion I was starting to wonder at

can someone please tell me what the PSC’s goals actually are, then? is this not the same group that recently changed the rules of the provisional license exam so that an even smaller percentage of people would pass? so do you want more heroes or fewer? which is it?

how do they cope with it? does anyone even have any idea?? it seems to me like they’re just throwing them to the wolves. we have this problem that we have absolutely no idea what to do about, oh I know, let’s toss a bunch of inexperienced kids at it. and hope that none of them gets murdered I guess

anyway so The Sheriff is speculating that the League must have been involved in the Deika situation, and he’s wondering why the PSC is trying so hard to keep it on the dl

oh yeah. friendly reminder that the PSC, thanks to Hawks, probably knows exactly how powerful Tomura and the League have recently become. so they know full well how shark-infested the waters are, and they’re making it mandatory for the kids to all take swimming lessons. nice

lol back when I was brainstorming ideas for future arcs, I seriously thought Horikoshi would have to go out of his way to come up with excuses for the kids to have future encounters with the League, because the school was so concerned with their safety that they wouldn’t allow them to leave the grounds except on rare occasions. well I sure got that one wrong. though to be fair, for once it isn’t U.A. that’s doing the child endangering here

(ETA: and actually, regardless of how insane it is, I do appreciate that when shit inevitably hits the fan again, at least it won’t be U.A.’s fault this time. I’d like to be able to continue rooting for them, and that can be difficult when they keep doing reckless things that needlessly put children in danger. at least this time they’re not the ones driving the Stupid Bus to Bad Decision School.)

a message to who? the League?? “we’re not scared of you”?? did they seriously not think of all the numerous ways this could backfire?

oh shit Aizawa even went and said the d-word

well there you have it. the government is drafting teenagers to risk their lives dealing with a crisis they won’t out-and-out admit they’re actually having. on today’s episode of “Oh Hero Society, You’ve Got Problems”

anyway so RP is making the admittedly good point that “we’re fucked and everyone is in terrible danger” is hardly a new state of affairs for them these days, and so they’re all moving on. okay then. good talk. lol. gonna need my damn Christmas fluff after all of that

and also RP is mentioning some other mysterious new program to Aizawa too. I wonder what that could be

(ETA: oh yeah I almost forgot about this. thoughts??)

and now we’re cutting to “several days later” oh my god. it’s really happening. I need a moment here, I’m not even ready. gotta get all my Christmas headcanons lined up here. Satou baking cookies. Kaminari and Sero running around arm in arm singing “JINGLE BELLS, ALL MIGHT SMELLS” over and over at the top of their lungs until Bakugou screams at them to shut up. Mineta debating anyone who will listen over the merits of the song Baby It’s Cold Outside. the naturally Christmas-themed Todoroki savoring this, his time to shine

oh shit, we’re still with the fucking Rat Principal. for fuck’s sake

-- ooh but are they talking about the traitor??

will this put an end to the “Horikoshi forgot about it” rumors? several people have mentioned this to me here and there (sorry to everyone whose asks I still haven’t answered), but as far as I know, this was part of a fake interview with Horikoshi that was unfortunately circulated around as though it was the real deal. sometimes people are not cool and think it’s fun to take advantage of communities that are enthusiastic and trusting! always fact-check what you read on the internet just to be safe guys

anyway

so there definitely is one, then. got it

so the traitor is definitely a student in the hero class, then. got it

sob. I got an ask about the whole Kaminari traitor theory earlier this week, so I’m in the process of doing up a whole long post about that. but the cliff’s notes version is, it’s not him. it’s Hagakure. but I will actually go into detail in the post. it’s been a while since I’ve discussed the traitor thing in depth anyway

so RP is asking All Might if he’s coming back today, and All Might is immediately all “WHY, DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO MY CHILD, OH GOD IS HE OKAY” which, omg. so much love for this man

and RP is like “geez relax” and OH MY GOD

[slaps on a paperboy cap and screeches at All Might in a bad cockney accent] TODAY, SIR?? WHY, IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY

OH MY GOD

I SPOT A GRINCH UP THERE AT THE TOP. SOMEONE NEEDS TO BE VISITED BY THREE GHOSTS FROM VARIOUS DIFFERENT TIME PERIODS

LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE CHILD (GREMLINS ASIDE) IS WEARING A SANTA CLAUS OUTFIT. DID U.A. JUST GIVE THESE OUT FOR FREE

AND IN THE TOP RIGHT NEXT TO SHOUJI, SATOU’S COOKIES! JUST AS THE PROPHECY FORETOLD

I SEE THEY HAVE THE REQUISITE KFC PLATTERS LIKE GOOD JAPANESE CITIZENS. WE SHOULD ADOPT THIS TRADITION HERE IN THE WEST TOO TBH

and last but not least, there are only nineteen children in this panel. it took me forever to figure out who was missing, but pretty sure it’s Iida. Iida where are you. clearly the traitor. certainly not off visiting his brother and the rest of his family, what kind of gullible fool do you take me for

looool

I love when the characters start to become self-aware that they’re the main characters in a story and that plot things keep happening to them at an unreasonable rate

oh my god they really are wearing the suits. it wasn’t just a title page gimmick like I half-wondered

ANSWER THE QUESTION, JIROU. INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW. do we even know where she did her first internship?? I suddenly desperately want to learn more about this

(ETA: she interned with Death Arms, the traffic cone-looking guy who notably chewed Deku out for trying to save Kacchan’s life in chapter one. Jirou my hope for you is that you find someone better this time around!)

also Tsuyu is observing that Momo doesn’t have a chair, and I honest-to-god was trying to count how much seating there was in the previous page. it seems to me like the common room got a lot bigger. it keeps adjusting to their needs like the room of requirement in Harry Potter

also does anyone else wish that Jirou would move her cup off of the armrest. IT’S GOING TO SPILL ffff :/ this is who I am at parties

oh shit wait, that was Iida with the beard?? I honestly thought that was Satou. well then Satou is the traitor. -- NOBODY TOUCH THOSE COOKIES!!

anyway so he’s all “well Deku not to bring up the elephant in the room but YOUR PREVIOUS MENTOR DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH so what’s your plan huh”

oh sweet god

listen, no offense to Centipeder, he seems like a really nice guy, but if I never see his repulsive face again I will count myself lucky

OH FOR FUCK’S

PLEASE GET RID OF IT IT IS CHRISTMAS!!! here I am trying to have a nice time and!!

god. and like, I feel bad, it’s not his fault he is A GIANT BUG and he has like, fucking mandibles and shit! but I can’t help the fact that my skin is trying to crawl off my body right now, and god but I can barely look at this panel long enough to read the dialogue sob why

(ETA: and now that I’ve forced myself to read it again, this doesn’t even make any sense lol. “we have too much work and not enough help, so we have to pass on you coming back to help us out. ...wait.”)

I want Iida to like. pat his lap and tell Deku in a big booming voice to cheer up and come sit and tell him what he wants for Christmas. not in a weird way you guys, come on. but just, he looks so forlorn. do you want Santa to bring you some cozy All Might socks

or wait, didn’t he want a PS Vita according to that one omake thing. what the fuck Deku. someone get this kid a Switch

anyway so Deku says that participation is mandatory this time, so the school will handle assignments if the kids aren’t able to find someone

meanwhile Kacchan is in the background accusing Mina of stalking him. I think she is trying to get him to wear his Santa outfit. doin’ god’s work

OH SHIT YOU GUYS I CLICKED TO THE NEXT PAGE, AND THIS. THIS IS MY CHRISTMAS OMFG

HORIKOSHI YOU DID GET MY LIST! BAKUGOU BEING TROLLED BY HIS SNEAKY DETERMINED FRIENDS AND MANHANDLED INTO A RIDICULOUS GETUP WHILST ANGSTING ABOUT BEST JEANIST BEING MISSING, YESSSSSS. IT’S SO SPECIFIC, I THOUGHT, “SURELY HE WON’T ACTUALLY DO IT,” BUT SANTA IS REAL, EVERYONE

HFMLSDKMGLKLKL!!!!!LKL:DSF

RED ALERT RED FUCKING ALERT PEOPLE!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHH HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS

“MERRY CHRISTMAS MAKESTE HERE’S A WHOLE FUCKING CHAPTER ABOUT KACCHAN’S FUCKING HERO NAME COMPLETE WITH A BEST JEANIST META ON THE TOPIC” mother fucker I need to start reading these chapters with a goddamn life alert and a defibrillator on standby

“your name represents your wish.” ladies and gentlemen, introducing the new number one hero... Number One Hero!

heh. just kidding. “what do you want to become?” this, though. this right fucking here is why I’ve been dying to know what name he’ll actually choose. because it does reflect exactly what Jeanist is saying. whichever name he chooses will be an insight into who he is, and who he is trying to be

and this meta is making me rethink all my chapter 223 feels, and tbh now I’m back to thinking that it’s not going to be Ground Zero, unless he comes up with a cool reason for why that name ties in to the image of the person he wants to be (because right now, that particular name is tied more to the past than to the future). but oh my god, if he does choose the name Kacchan I am going to spontaneously combust. I will fucking do it. I will fucking die from being a dramatic excited bitch

(ETA: because. listen. there is one person who has always looked up to him in spite of everything and has always seen his potential. “in the end, in my mind, you’re the image of victory.” this, to me, is the meaning that the name “Kacchan” would have if he did choose it. it would symbolize him choosing to be his best self.)

don’t mind me I’m just stanning this child so fucking hard it hurts

(ETA: oh hey, and more feels on the reread because it looks like the reason he’s having this flashback is because he was planning to go back to Jeanist’s agency to do his real internship, and to show him how much he’s grown. but then The Thing happened. Hawks I just want to talk why won’t you answer my calls.)

Mina and Kaminari are the MVPs of this fucking chapter and I owe them my life omggggg. THEY’RE HERE TO SAVE CHRISTMAS

what are you thinking about there, Best Friend?

are you thinking about your daddy angst. penny for your thoughts

(ETA: “how can I cheer up my new best friend? I know, I’ll make him a lucrative job offer.” actually that’s a good way to cheer up just about anyone in this day and age, Shouto.)

okay, is there some sort of perverted context to Christmas that I’m totally missing here?? or is Mineta just really into the holiday spirit?

I feel like I missed something. eh

anyway Mr. Traitor himself is walking out now and HE’S BROUGHT THE CHRISTMAS GOOSE! or turkey! but goose sounded funnier

of all the things to be shocked about?? “SATOU CAN COOK!?!” like um yes hello you’ve been living with this guy for four months already? like the only thing more ridiculous than this would be, “TOKOYAMI IS A BIRD!?!”

(ETA: like I know baking and cooking are two different things, but in a manga they’re the same thing. fact.)

now someone is making a dramatic entrance! IS IT ERI I WILL DIE!!!! BRING IT

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I HEREBY SWEAR FEALTY TO THIS PANEL OF AN ADORABLY AND FESTIVELY DRESSED ERI MIXING UP HOLIDAYS WHILE DADZAWA PATIENTLY CORRECTS HER. I WILL PROTECT IT WITH MY LIFE. SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS CHAPTER SO THAT I CAN GO DO IT SOME MORE AGAIN, OVER AND OVER AND OVER

Ochako is me

(ETA: DEMONS OUT! DEMONS IN!! THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT!! YOU DO THE HOOOOOOOOKEY POKEY.)

and Kiri is out here asking the real questions, but sadly Aizawa says Mirio is spending Christmas with his own class. WELL FINE. I HOPE HE’S EXPERIENCING THE FOMO OF A LIFETIME. HOW DARE HE HAVE OTHER FRIENDS whatever I’m over it

sobbbbb

WELL HOW MANY FUCKING HOLIDAYS ARE THERE!? CAN SOMEONE HELP A GIRL OUT OR WHAT

oh my god I’m just going to reblog every single Dadzawa panel and none of you can stop me go on and try!!

impatiently waiting for fanart of Aizawa tucking Eri in and reading her A Visit from St. Nicholas. get on it, fandom

ohhhhhhhhh my goddddddd

I know it’s not a Christmas song, but I am this close to cranking up “I Gotta Feeling” by the fucking Black Eyed Peas. ya feel

do you guys see him sitting there next to Dadzawa. he finally gave in. Satou is feeding him chicken. his friends will not abandon him to be on the naughty list. motherfucker that’s it. I’m fucking doing it. fill up my cup. mazel tov

lol I don’t even want to click to any more pages because they’re all so happy and it won’t fucking last. :( noooo

good little boys and girls. noshing on that chicken. Kacchan continuing to be stalked by the Ghost of Christmas Friendship. Tokoyami what even is that. lol and is this their weird way of distributing random gifts. did Sero buy Jirou a scarf. did Deku buy Ochako a freaking All Might plush keychain!? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING AND WHY DOES ERI HAVE IT NOW AND WHY IS SHE MAKING THIS FACE

-- holy fuck, IT’S A SWORD. oh my god. THEY GAVE THE SEVEN YEAR OLD A FREAKING BUSTER SWORD AND SHE IS FEELING IT YESSSS THIS CHAPTER TRULY IS ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE

“dad can I keep it.” Aizawa: [not even opening his eyes, all bundled up in his oogie boogie suit] “sure”

so now we’re cutting to afterwards and everyone’s cleaning up and Deku’s using his freakish super strength to lift heavy things impressively while Bakugou continues to stomp around with his hands shoved into his pockets waiting for someone to finally tell him he can go back upstairs

OH???

motherfucker. are you going to invite them to come intern with you and your dad!!?!?? I know I was all set on Bakugou interning with Miruko just last week, but I TELL YOU WHAT BITCHES, I’M FUCKING FLEXIBLE LIKE THAT

OH SHIT YOU GUYS!!!!

TODOROKI ARE YOU PLAYING THE OT3 SONG BECAUSE HONEY YOU KNOW THAT’S MY JAM, BRO

OH FUCKING SHIT YESSSSS

BAKUGOU DO YOU WANT TO INTERN WITH YOUR TWO BEST FRIENDS, EXCUSE ME, HATED ENEMIES. DEKU DO YOU WANT TO INTERN WITH YOUR TWO BEST FRIENDS. AND THE NUMBER ONE. WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH THE NUMBER TWO. WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH TODOROKI “I DIDN’T HAVE A FLASHBACK IN THE LAST ARC BECAUSE WE WERE SAVING IT FOR THIS ONE!” TOUYA? THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S BEST FRIENDS ALL THE WAY DOWN. OH MY GOD

it’s like Horikoshi made a long and detailed list of all of his regrets about the previous internship arc, and then said, “fuck it. do-over”

you guys. I’m all out of cans. we only have can’ts and cannots. I cannot

Christmas fluff. Dadzawa. Bakugou hero name meta. hints that the traitor plot will soon be relevant again. and the motherfucking OT3 of OT3s, MY SONS, MY THREE RESPLENDENT OFFSPRINGS, interning together at the motherfucking Endeavor Hero Agency because Todoroki is the sweetest most considerate angel, and because KNOCK KNOCK, IT’S ME THE PLOT, I’VE COME FOR YOU AGAIN AT LONG LAST AND I VOW TO NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIN FROM THIS MOMENT ON

shit, y’all. I don’t know if it’s possible for an arc to become my favorite motherfucking arc only two chapters in, but damned if this sunnuvabitch ain’t trying

[jinxfirebolt18902]

Captivated (Nick Robinson Imagine)

Mini Serie (?)

This is Part 1. Also, I was drunk when I wrote most of this (edited only the orthographic mistakes and added a bit of contextual info) Conclussion: Drunk Writer me beats Sober Writer me.

Words: 2.647

(gif not mine)

Going out in a different country than my native was scary at the beginning. Although I loved the idea of travelling the world alone, actually doing it was significantly different than imagining it and having fun was quite a challenge. The risks were higher. I am a woman, I live alone and I move on my own, if something happens to me it would take a few hours or days maybe to get my family notified. Of course being 24 years old is socially considered that you’re old enough to take care of yourself, and I did. It’s just I was starting my dreamed adult life at the other end of the continent and with no one to trust near me.

When I first arrived in Los Angeles everything was so big and alive all the time. There was no way I would remain inside my apartment, especially not after working hard during the weekdays. Now there came the thing with making new friends in a country where people were quite the opposite of mine (or so I’d been told). You see, leaving aside the fact that “my people” was emotionally attached to everyone; North Americans weren’t exactly presented to me as… affable. So I had been kind of insecure about how I would become friends with anyone. That’s why I sometimes found it difficult to believe I’d come across someone like David.

-x-

Tonight’s bar had been chosen by Dave. The place had great music and, although it looked pretty expensive and kind of exclusive, it seemed a good option for having fun. David’s friends were teasing him by the place selection and I laughed at his failed attempts to defend it as we were all crossing the streets towards the club’s fancy gates. Dave was such an interesting guy, one of those you don’t get to meet and stick with. Don’t get me wrong he is cool, respectful and fun to be around, but I’ve been here barely for a bit longer than a year and since I met him he’s been inviting me to parties and to tag along with his friends all the time. So what I mean when I say he’s one of those persons so good you don’t get to meet and stick with, I mean I don’t know what he’s seen in me to want me in his close circle.

—Guys c’mon the place is okay… give him a break. —my words were followed by a smile.

I immediately felt Dave’s strong dark-skinned arm surrounding my neck and pulling me towards him. He kissed my hair and shouted to the others “I told you this one was a keeper”.

—Well if you keep suggesting this kind of places you’re gonna scare her off! —Elizabeth, one of the girls from the group answered and then different laughs were heard.

I turned my head with my smile still plastered on my face and saw my friend’s face. He was actually pouting. I shook his hair making him push me off so I wouldn’t mess his dreadlocks (even more than they already were).

—They all whine about my places but they all have a pic with their fav stars because of me and my places…

I let out a small laugh and shrugged my shoulders. Dave was such a cool guy and so easy going that somehow he had become quite popular among some famous people living here in LA. Well of course he also had a lot of money.

The group had distanced a few meters from us and when we were getting on the sidewalk he took a good look at my outfit and remained silent. I was observing him with a look that read “what are you going to say?”. He nodded no with his head to look me in the eyes after.

—What? —I couldn’t erase my smile from my face nor from my voice. I felt happy.

He laughed a bit —Nothing. I’m just wondering how long will it take for some guy to take you away from me gurl… Actually I’m kind of surprised it hasn’t happened yet… It’s been months since I met you. 

—Oh stop it now nigga—Nah nah, just promise you won’t forget about me in a week once you got yourself a man!

I hit him slightly on his shoulder and rolled my eyes. —You know perfectly well what I think about the boyfriend thing. —He laughed and walked in front of me and the others to tell the security guard his name. Yes, Dave had a few privileges.

We instantly got inside and the atmosphere changed abruptly. The room was dim and misty with some green and blue lights moving around. The song playing was some tropical electro, chill. Being the drunk asses we were obviously the first thing we did was hurry to the bartender to overload him with orders.

-x-

Okay so far the night was great. We’d been drinking at a table until the place was full. It didn’t take much more than an hour after we got in. Every now and then somebody would go greet some acquaintance or famous person and come back. In my case, I only saw some recognizable faces from TV programs or stuff but I couldn't care less honestly. I had enough high society people in my job every weekday so… Dave was the only one who barely spent time with the group as he kept running into friends.

Music and alcohol were starting to get to me, not that I was hard to get into the party mood. My body was asking for some dancing moves. I took one of the girls, called Minette, by her arm and carried us both to the dance floor. We hadn’t been there even for 5 minutes and the music turned a totally different path. When we glanced at the Dj, Minette and I shared a look of understanding.

—He’s unbelievable right? —I nodded with my head as a response and let my latin blood take the lead.

Dave was next to the Dj and apparently, he had asked him for something more… let’s say: Caribbean. Minette had latin blood mixed in her veins too so we didn’t have a problem moving our hips and not giving a shit about the condescending looks we were receiving, especially from other girls upset by some guys staring at us. At some time, a Mexican boy had joined us and we were laughing and dancing a lot, finding ourselves in a state of euphoria. Then the Dj picked a particular song that I couldn’t resist dancing with all my energy and I gave myself to it. My body was then covered by a thin layer of sweat because of the rapid movements. Going up and down, jumping, shaking my hips and my waist had definitely gotten the best of me.A moment later, Dave came next to me laughing and giving me sweet looks.

—C’mon let’s get you some water gurl, I don’t want you dehydrated. —he was leading me towards our table pushing me gently by my lower back so I wouldn’t get lost between so many people. We were almost at the table when we heard someone say ‘Yo! Dave!’ behind us. We both turned to look and saw this lanky guy with at least three chains hanging by his neck.

—Yooooo what’d up man?! —Dave went to hug the guy and his 4 friends sitting next to him. I was just looking from behind but my gaze stopped on one of them. I recognized he was an actor, but I didn’t know his name. I remembered seeing him in a few movies. The guy was cute. White skin, perfect nose, deep bulging almond-shaped brown eyes, plump pink limps… Jeez.

I hadn’t realized I had unconsciously stared and my lungs had stopped working the air out. Maybe it was the music, maybe the alcohol or the extremely delightful sight I had in front of me, or maybe it was all together what was making me sweat even more, my pupils dilated. I felt a rush of heat run down my body. I felt like I needed some fresh air. I was about to leave to look for an open space but unluckily, David had catched me glancing at this guy, which got my friend grabbing me by the arm and posing me in front of him to present me.

This is my friend Virginia. —he gave me a look and smiled mischievously. I greeted with my hand not moving even one step from my place and mumbling a shy “hi” loud enough to be heard and received their greetings along with a nod plus an intense look from the pretty boy. If my eyes were not tricking me, he might even have shown a little sided-smile. Damn I was done.

I just walked away on my heels following the fresh air and getting to a secluded area for smokers. I lit a cigarette and looked up at the sky. I took a deep breath and tried to forget about the gorgeous face I just saw. I knew I had not like, the minimal chance to be with this boy who’s name I didn’t even know, but which also unfortunately excited me even more.

I was finishing my cigarette when a male voice said my name. When I turned to see him I was a bit taken aback.

—Uhm… Hi

—Hey, name is Nick.

I nodded once.

He looked inside the club and then at me again. A smile reached his face before his eyes reached mine.

—Do you have a lighter?

I looked for it in my purse and handed it to him. If I thought I was done before, then with a cig between his lips, looking all bad boy, his eyes so full of mystery and that damned smile…

Out of a sudden my glance flickered over the inside of the club and I swear I saw Dave smiling evilly. I rolled my eyes and signaled my middle finger to him, obviously causing him to laugh out loud. My head turned to give another glimpse. Damn wasn’t he a sexy piece of work…

I was caught by him anew. Once again his dangerous smile making an appearance on his perfect cutis… Unintentionally, my lashes went up slowly. We found ourselves sharing a kind of trance. Our eyes were acting upon themselves, provoking each other. He sucked in his bottom lip between his teeth and slowly let it go. And that’s when I lost it.

—I need a  drink. —I thanked the Universe for walking towards the bar on my own without the need of my brain processing that information because I just didn’t give it time to do so.

Luckily I got across the room hurriedly without interruptions. The guy prepared my drink. At the moment he spotted my glass “Nick” was next to me. My head turned to let my eyeballs get fascinated by this boy.

Excuse me —the bartender nodded before going away to serve someone else —I’m sorry, can I have a vodka shot too, please?

The little glass was in front of me waiting to be downloaded quicker than my previous order. Just after sending a quick peek towards Nick I took the tiny glass and emptied it hastily. I felt his brown eyes on me. I knew he was following my every move. Once I had taken that anxiety off myself I dared to truly look at him and lock eyes. The guy wouldn’t back away.

—Are you being a creep following me over, Nick?

He held his hands up in surrender —Take it easy girl. I just thought we could do something about… this weird chemistry taking place between us —he made a signal moving his right hand between our bodies.

I raised my right eyebrow in a swift. —Oh really? What chemistry are you talking about? —shit I couldn’t even control myself. My body naturally drew itself closer to him. Alcohol and lust were controlling me.

His eyes darted on my tight black dress from bottom to top until he landed on my eyes again. Then he eyed the place as if he was checking for everything to be okay. I didn’t understand this attitude at first but then I remembered he was kinda famous and he probably didn't want anyone knowing about his night with some random girl. I took a few deep sips from my drink closing my eyes, I needed the nerves to disappear and what better than my dear liquid friend to do it.

His right arm signaled a path and I walked in that way. The moment he was behind me his hands fell on my waist to guide me. They weren’t even touching my skin and I already could feel my body reacting to them. We ended up in a darker side of the club. There were some couples making out and smaller groups of people chatting. I laid my back against a cold white wall, letting the wall’s temperature contrast with my own, causing my eyes to close at the good feeling. A second later I opened them and found him right in front of me, close. Even with my high heels he was taller than me so our eyes were almost at the same level. His brown irises with his black dilated pupils made him look like a predator watching over his prey. But here’s the thing, I wasn't a prey. Either this was a predator-predator thing or he was about to become the prey.

Before I could do anything he moved his mouth near my ear so he could speak up and I’d listen over the loud music.

—You’re driving me crazy.

When he backed up, a serious look could be seen on his face. I couldn't help myself. It was my time to smile dangerously. I finished up my drink and left the glass somewhere before flashing my arms at his soft neck and shoulders. His beautiful eyes glanced down at my lips and came back up to my eyes quickly over and over again. His hands were gaining confidence in my waist by each minute that passed. His tongue glided over his pink bottom lip making it look even more desirable. My eyes were glued to that movement and to the wet lips.

I swear I was going to change positions and put him against the wall. I swear I was going to show him I was in charge here but the moment his body came crashing into mine I forgot everything. The moment my lips felt his and his humid tongue my mind went blank. His head was moving against mine. Our tongues were colliding, giving new sensations to each other. My fingers were drawn into his soft brown locks and his hands squeezed my waist as if his life depended on it. When I thought it couldn't get better it did. He fucking dared to moan into the kiss. How was I supposed to deal with that amount of sensuality?

His tongue pushed itself inside my mouth at the same time he pressed himself against me while I was pressed against the concrete, his groin making friction. Air. I interrupted the kiss and looked up at the ceiling as I took a deep breath, my lungs were burning. His hair ended up pretty messy and it looked even better, if possible. How could this boy get hotter by every minute that passed? His breathing was heavy too. His cheeks had turned very pink and now his once cute innocent eyes were so dark you could get lost in them. Dopamine was written all over his look. I felt a black hole was swallowing me. And hell knew I was ready to let it take me.

[awkward-radar-tech]

Moments with Mr. McTavish and His New Gamer Girlfriend

Summary: The title pretty much covers it, but basically it covers how William McTavish met reader, who is a gamer, and how they began to date. 

A/N: Am I trash? Yes. Am I serious about these? Yes. Is my first smut (or as close as I feel like getting to smut) fic going to be a follow up to this and not in AAT? Probably. There isn’t anything in this though. Also I couldn’t really edit this since I already almost died writing it, so sorry about any mistakes. Sorry if this doesn’t flow, this is my first time writing in this format. 

Follow-up fic: McTavish Games

@bad--bad--man, here is the trash I promised.

He met you while at a game store near his house, shopping for a gift for his son. He came in knowing different names of games Miles liked and his favorite characters from them, but not much else.

He saw you browsing through some stuff for the games on his list, so he asked your opinion on them.

You happily obliged, glad you could help a dad make his son's day. He mentioned his son mainly played his games alone or with his step-dad, and it made your heart warm that he was putting an interest in his son's hobbies, even if it was to make the other guy jealous.

As you explaining to him the differences between a gift card for a console network’s e-store and one for a specific game, he noticed that you were probably in your mid-to-late-twenties, and definitely cute. But why would a young lady like you be interested in him, so he let it go.

After discussing different options for close to an hour, he had finally decided on a few things to buy Miles. Not wanting to part from you, he awkwardly asked if he could buy you some lunch at the fast food restaurant next door to thank you for your time and help, if you wanted to. And to his surprise, you accepted

You had hoped that you wouldn't have to part ways with William after he decided what to buy for his son, so when he asked to buy you lunch you didn't hesitate saying yes.

He held both doors open for you as you walked from one store to the other, and had you order first. The two of you sat and talked about his son's favorite game, Fortnite. You explained certain mechanics of the game to him that would hopefully help him in his own playing. You then traded usernames so you could play together and you could show him more of the ropes.

As he went to retrieve your order from the counter, you decided you had enough talking about video games waiting for him to start flirting with you, so you would make the first move

Once he returned, you began to ask him about his life and what he enjoyed to do do. You learned he was in rehab and that he was enjoying having extra money now that he was no longer buying his vices, that he worked in an office although he didn't say what he did there, and that he enjoyed classic video games like Pac-Man, Galaga, and Tetris. He also talked about a new hobby he started in rehab, painting pre-made wood objects, like bird houses and signs. He either gave them away or sold them at the monthly fundraiser for his facility.

After telling so much about himself, he felt it was only polite to learn more about the young lady who so graciously helped him. He learned that you were 28, worked as a secretary for a dentist office, spent your free time playing video games or window shopping, when you felt like it you would bake desserts and deliver them to the local fire stations and homeless shelters, and that you had two cats.

He noticed you never mentioned anything about friends or a significant other, and asked you about it. You said that you moved away from your hometown at 20 because it was a toxic environment for you, and you never really socialized outside of work so your only friends were your cats.

Deciding to drop a hint since he asked about a significant other you added that you had never dated since you were never attracted to guys your age, you wanted a guy who had his life pretty much in line, even if he was working on fixing himself, and had life experience so they could reassure you when you thought your world was collapsing.

William took in all you had to say, and realized your description of what you were looking for fit him rather well. Maybe you would be into him, so he decided to start flirting

You were glad he got your hint and began to take your flirting further. When you were saying goodbye, you gave him your number saying, “let me know if you want to do anything other than playing Fortnite” and winked at him.

He was happy that you wanted to be friends, doing things outside of teaching him how to play Fortnite. He feels special that he his going to be your first friend in 8 years.

He text you the next day asking how your day was going and if you had time to play Fortnite later. He was happy when you text back saying your day was great and that you could.

That night he sat on his couch and waited for you to text that you were about to go online. When you did and you connected, he felt butterflies when you said hello. He hadn't felt butterflies in years, be 46 and all, he thought those were for teenagers. He didn't even feel butterflies when he met his ex-wife.

It took him a bit to get a hang of the game, but you patiently explained every step to him and reassured him when he got frustrated. Once he adjusted, he actually wasn't that bad at the game.

After you explained the game, he actually began to really like the game. He understood why Miles and all his friends loved this game. He was sad when you said you had to stop playing after 3 hours because your eyes began to hurt, but he asked if he could call you so you could talk for longer. He almost screamed out in celebration when you said yes and he immediately grabbed his phone and called you.

You laughed to yourself when you felt your phone vibrate as soon as you had shut down the game. His eagerness to talk with you was adorable, and honestly you couldn’t help but feel giddy yourself.

You two continued to talk for hours, and well past when you should have been asleep. You told him about different stories you overheard from your coworkers and the patients in the waiting room, nothing personal but just funny tidbits of drama and anecdotes from life. He told you about stories he heard at work. You were brought out of a fit of laughter at one point by William asking how it felt to finally have a friend to talk with again. In your tired state you didn’t hesitate when you said it was nice, but you hoped it would become more than just a friendship.

William’s train of thought launched off of a cliff when he processed what you said, “Wait, you mean you like me, in a romantic way.”

You cleared your throat before responding, realising what you had said and not backing away from that or what you were about to say next, “Well, yeah. And in a sexual way too. Did you not realize that when I said ‘let me know if you want to do anything other than playing Fortnite’ with a wink?”

He felt like a fool now that he thinks back to it, “I didn’t think a pretty young lady would be into a guy like me and thought you meant like hanging out as friends or something like that.”

You giggled at his admission, “Oh no Mr. McTavish, you are exactly the type of guy I’m into. And I’d love to continue our conversation but I just looked at the time and it is really past my bedtime. I’ll talk with you later, goodnight.”

Once he wakes up and has some breakfast he calls you even though he knows you won’t answer due to work and leaves a voicemail asking you out on a date that evening. A few hours later you text him that you would love to, just send a place and time. He immediately responds that he will pick you up, just to send him your address. Once he had your address and looked up were it was, he gave you a time and warned you it wouldn’t be anywhere fancy, just going to Applebee’s and maybe a fancy ice cream store that makes the ice cream with liquid nitrogen when you order it. He was relieved when you said that it sounded fun and not to worry about it being somewhere nice.

To help make up for the lack in romance in the restaurant he wore one of his nice button-up shirts and his new dark-wash jeans and bought you a bouquet of red roses which he hoped you would like.

He let you know he was on the way to you and he was surprised when pulled up in front of your building and saw you waiting by the door, and got a second shock when noticed you wearing a nice white blouse and a pink jean skirt with white high-tops. This was a vast difference from the graphic tee and jeans you were wearing the other day. But he was not about to complain about either outfit, especially this one.

When you opened the door he quickly stumbled out his greeting, “Good evening, my dear. I got you some uh roses. And that outfit sure uh, fits you nice and uh you look pretty.”

You were touched by his gift of roses and giggled at his complements, this outfit brought out just the reaction you were hoping for. “Hi William. You look handsome today. Thank you for the flowers and picking me up.”

He drove and listened to you talk, although he was so preoccupied with watching the road and willing his erection away he couldn’t really follow what you were saying.

The date went well and before he knew it he was dropping you off at home. You leaned over and kissed his cheek before inviting him up to your apartment. While he wanted to accept, he knew he would be here for a few hours and he needed to be in the office by 7 the next morning for a conference call with some clients halfway around the world and needed some sleep, so he regretfully had to decline. You understood and wished him a goodnight before giving his cheek a final kiss.

[arazialotis]

Stairway to Heaven

Pairing: Dean × Reader

Word Count: Around 2000 

This is was written for Kari’s @thing-you-do-with-that-thing 9.5k British Song Challenge! First of all... 9.5K?!?! you go girl! You 110% deserve it! And thank you for letting me participate in this and with such an iconic song! There’s no way I did it justice, but this story was completely inspired by Led Zeppelin’s Stairway To Heaven. If you never heard it before, seriously go check it out. Probably one of the greatest rock songs of all time. Anyways, enough of my preaching

Summary: The reader and Dean have been in a relationship for years. They found nothing but comfort in each other. But that all changes when Dean learns the reader only came into their life on a deal. 

Warnings: Angst!Fest, Reader Death, Violence, Blood

@misguidedconqueress Jeez! I wouldn’t know what to do without you. I so much value your advice and input! Thanks for helping me editing!!

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Dean lay underneath as you straddled his lap, nothing between you but an entanglement of sheets. He still panted, out of breath from the sweet pleasure that had occured just moments before. Beads of sweat glistened against his skin, matching the flecks of gold hidden in the forest that were his eyes. You brought his hand to your lips, lightly brushing his knuckles against them.

“Dean?” You softly called.

“Yeah sweetheart?” He answered bringing his free hand up behind your ear and gently through your hair.

You leaned your cheek into his palm and placed his hand down. He slowly ran it up your bare thigh, squeezing gently. A tear escaped the corner of your eye. Dean’s thumb automatically wiped it away.

He sat up in a hurry. “Baby, what's wrong?” He asked concerned.

You grabbed the nearest sheet and wrapped it around you as more tears started to spill over.

“Talk to me, Y/N.” He pleaded, now pulling you in closer. “Did I hurt you?”

“No… It’s… I…” You paused getting the tears under control. You turned around leaning your back against his chest so he couldn't see your face. One more inhale and your shaky breath steadied. “Do you remember how long ago we first met?” It would be easier if he pieced it together.

“Hmmm.” Dean hummed. “I’d say nine and a half years ago.”

You nodded your head. “You and Sam came to my town for a case…” You recalled. “My stepdad was wrapped up in the middle of it. You saved him. And you saved me… by letting me come with you and Sam. Inviting me into your home, into your family.”

“That's right.” Dean affirmed, still confused by the whole ordeal.

“Do you remember what the case was?” You wrapped your arms tighter around yourself - almost as containment - but a broken sob still shattered through.

Dean’s brow furrowed as he tried to recall. His eyes widened and his brows popped up. He forcefully grabbed you by the shoulder and swung you around. “What did you do, Y/N?!” He demanded. “Answer me!” He practically shook you to force it out.

You still refused to look at him. Your voice barely broke a whisper. “I made a deal.”

His breath faltered. He pulled you in tight against his chest. His heart pounded and the arms around you almost began to hurt as he processed his racing thoughts.

“I wanted the chance to be brave, to make a difference, somewhere to belong…” Dean pushed you aside and stood up, dressing in a hurry. “Please don't hate me…” You begged.

“Y/N…” His voice broke off. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. You consequently pulled the sheet closer to you, concealing your naked figure; embarrassed and ashamed. “I mean, is any of this real?”

“Of course it’s real!” You argued. “I never intended…” “I just…” He interrupted. “I need some air.”

He left you alone in the hotel room and did not return.

Three Days Later

Dean had returned to the bunker and caught Sam up to speed. His eyes had been swollen red for the past couple of days; he waved it off as lack of sleep. Sam was enjoying his breakfast in the library, catching up on some reading when Dean entered, geared up and packed.

He passed straight through until Sam stopped. “Where are you heading?” Dean paused in the entryway contemplating if he should engage Sam or not. “Crowley,” was all he stated.

Sam gulped. The King of Hell was ruthless and cunning. Sam was convinced the only reason they were still alive was because Crowley saw them as entertainment. If they grew as a nuisance, there’s no telling what would happen. Sam was about to object but Dean interjected.

“Don’t try and stop me.” He protested. “I don’t care what we are feeling or thinking, I don’t care if everything for the past nine years has been a lie. It’s a case as any other, so I’m taking it.”

You had built up the courage to return to the bunker, your home. You arrived early morning and snuck through the garage door with Dean’s favorite beer and black licorice in hand to try to make amends. The bunker was quiet until you made your way to the kitchen and overheard Dean. His words cut through the already sore wound. Trying to help you, not because you were family, not because he loved you, simply because you were just another case. But you weren’t going to tuck tail and run now, you entered the library, catching them both by surprise. Dean stared at you momentarily before breaking his gaze. You couldn’t decipher if he was relieved, angry, or mourning.

“Don’t you think, I’ve already tried that.” You broke the silence. “Crowley won’t budge on the deal, and he’s not that easy to persuade when he’s got hellhounds on his side.” You set the beer on the table and tossed the licorice to Dean. He caught it with both hands and smiled, knowing how much you despised the stuff.

“Y/N.” Sam addressed you. “How could you… You had so much ahead of you.” 

“What can I say… Ten years seems like infinity to a nineteen year old. A kid who was chasing a distant parent’s dream, not her own. A kid who was lost in a sea of faces. But then came along two brothers. And they noticed me, they saw value in me, and gave me meaning… It came so fast and I saw it was slipping away just as quickly. And I wanted more…” You tried to explain yourself. You tried to search Dean’s face yet again, getting some response, some emotion.

“You have to understand how this is a shock to us.” Sam continued.

“Is it though? You would have never let me come along in the first place… I tried…” You defended. “I know things are never going to be the same, I know you don’t trust your feelings or me right now. But I only asked for the opportunity. The relationships we’ve built, the love we had…” Dean’s jaw clenched. “That was never a part of the deal…”

“None of that matters.” Dean finally spoke. “We’re getting you out of this.”

“I already have a way out.” You lied.

They both looked at you confused.

“A while back, I talked to Cas… there’s a loophole.” You fabricated. “If I save enough souls during my remaining time, I can buy my way into heaven.”

“So you’ll still…” Sam’s breath shook. He couldn’t finish the thought.

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “Except it will be a lot less bloody. Not as many teeth and claws.” You tried to lighten the mood with a joke but they didn’t take it.

You moved your stuff from the shared room with Dean to the room you had used when you first arrived. As the weeks passed, you hoped things would return to normal but other than second glances, Dean was distant. He no longer held you close or nuzzled his warm breath into your neck. He didn’t reach out for your hand or try to make you smile. The only positive thing coming from it was the separation made it easier to hide the truth.

As weeks started to turn into months, you didn’t have much time to think or even breathe. Dean was so focused on jumping from case to case. Focusing on exorcising instead of using the demon blade, processing with ghosts rather than burning bones. And as soon as you were done, he had another one lined up. You knew he still cared somewhere in there. He was racking up your saved souls. He was helping you build a stairway to heaven which never even existed. But he didn’t need to know that.

Two months to go and the hallucinations began. Slowly at first; whispering voices and shadows behind trees. Each passing day they grew in severity and terror; creeping closer into the hotel rooms and staring at you through mirrors. You realized you couldn’t keep the act going for long. The lie would come full circle eventually. In between hunts, travelling from one town to another, you slipped out during the middle of the night. Never intending to return.

You still took hunts here and there, while you felt sane enough. You wanted nothing more to fight it out until the end; thus causing you to become more reckless. The countdown was at three weeks. Maybe that’s why you decided to take on a nest of ghouls solo. You had a feeling this hunt would be your last. You’d take out what you could but you truly did not want to come back.

It was midnight when you entered the crypt. They’d be up and they’d be active. But you didn’t wish to take them by surprise. The passage stemming from an empty coffin was already open, revealing the hollow ground underneath. You jumped into the grave without acknowledging the irony. The tunnels were primitive, as if giant moles had dug through. Roots stuck through the walls and the ground was uneven.

As you neared closer to the entrance of their lair, it became apparent a struggle was happening from the other end. You rushed in, machete in hand, ready to save someone’s day for the last time. But you were not prepared for what you encountered.

The eldest Winchester turned at your appearance and the fight left his face. “Y/N?” His voice quavered. Over a month had passed since you last saw him.

At his distraction, the last ghoul raced towards him, knife in hand.

“Dean!” You tried to call his attention to the danger, but he seemed frozen.

In three quick bounds you closed the distance between you, swinging the machete with all your might. As you made contact, the ghoul made one last effort. It thrusted its knife up and up; each tormenting second lunging deeper, tearing into your chest. You swung through completing its end. You took a half a step back. The machete dropped from your hand as you looked down at the hilt of the knife.

“No, no, no.” Dean quietly moaned.

He caught you as you fell, guiding you gently down, cradling you in his arms.

“Sam!” He called, his voice cracking. Tears started spilling over, rolling down his face and dropping onto your cheeks and lips. “Don’t worry baby, we’re going to fix this.” Dean anxiously looked around but Sam was nowhere to be seen. You could barely find his voice over the humming in your own head.

“Shhh.” You hushed. Your eyelids were growing heavy. “It’s okay. I made it.” A sob broke through Dean as he brushed your hair aside. “I can see the pearly gates already…” You attempted to joke, but the soft laugh gave way to coughing. Dean’s salty tears on your lips were replaced with the taste of sharp metal you knew to be blood.

“Stop it.” He pleaded. “You still have time, we’ll find a way.” Your eyes fluttered closed but Dean wouldn’t have it. “Come on baby, stay with me.” He lightly shook you.

The adrenaline was beginning to wear off and excruciating pain ripped through your body. Your brow furrowed together and your breath became more ragged. You felt warmth starting to leave your body.

“I’ll wait for you there” You whispered. “Just d.. don.. Don’t come by too soon.”

“... I can’t…” He begged. “Y/N, I need you.”

“You’ll be okay…” You assured. “It’ll be okay…” You told yourself as darkness began swarming in and instead of a cloudy staircase your soul was being consumed by shadowy flames. Demons, not angels, were calling you to join them.

“Y/N…. Y/N…” Dean called to your lifeless body. “Don’t leave me.”

Dean stayed put, even after Sam rushed in. He cradled you, his face buried in your hair, rocking you back and forth. He waited for these tortuous emotions to lift, for the alleviation of this agonizing pain now that your deal had been fulfilled. But relief never came. And he now knew that his time spent wrestling, hopelessly wondering what was real, was wasted. He knew that his feelings were not part of the deal, that he was never altered to care for you. He truly loved you, but now it was too late.

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