#mu qing is somewhere not sure where though.

[csilla-nocturne]

Personal servant Wu Ming helping his highness out of the bath, and gently kissing his feet after drying them, before he starts working his way up.

Feng Xin, who didn't get out of the room fast enough after bringing fresh towels: CAN YOU LET ME FUCKING LEAVE FIRST!?

[missveryvery]

FengQing dynamics, book vs fan interpretation, General Thoughts about Clown Generals:

Mostly me trying to stare at canon and figure out what these dumbasses think about each other and what their actual relationship is, what's actually written instead of my hopes and dreams for clown love.

we all keep writing/drawing Mu Qing being the mean one and Feng Xin as the nice one but....Feng Xin is the one that relentlessly says horrible things to him, usually unprovoked.

Feng Xin's insults:

That he hates him, that he never wants to see him again, that he's lying, that whenever he sees him doing something it absolutely must be for personal/nefarious reasons, that he's happy when xl does crimes, he's untrustworthy, that he's always scheming, that he thinks he's better than he is, that he wouldn't be where he is without Xie Lian.

Mu Qing's insults are:

that Feng Xin is just as "disloyal" as him for leaving. Basically, his usual argument is "you are just as bad as me." This is his big thing, arguably his only thing.

He maybe thinks the bathhouse is Feng Xin's fault, like he took them somewhere perverted on purpose

His statues? whack.

Says Feng Xin made a big deal about nothing about Xie Lian stealing.

I'm wracking my brain here because a lot of them aren't personal insults so much as making fun of him for something rather than saying he's a bad person. Like he tells Xie Lian about the Ju Yang thing. That's not something Feng Xin did wrong, it's something embarrassing that happened to Feng Xin.

Here's one:

Actually, rereading this, I wonder if he meant Xie Lian...? Since that's the person who they felt like couldn't tell who was a ghost. And Feng Xin has always been able to discern ghostness so far so that seems weirdly specific. Which is nuts because I think we all feel like Mu Qing should insult his intelligence all the time (Feng Xin isn't as dumb as I wish he was, though so...)

I'm extremely guilty of all of this, to be clear. And I don't know why. Sometimes I carefully have Feng Xin realize he was awful and be apologetic, sometimes deal with it.

But probably most of the time, offhandedly, I'm like "Ah yes mq wouldn't catch him in a trust fall", which is something I just saw on my dash. when it's demonstrably, literally untrue, right?

They would both catch each other without hesitation. They literally do! Even when it's at a great risk to themselves!

I think the difference is what they think will happen:

Mu Qing, idk I could go either way. He might know that Feng Xin will catch him because Feng Xin is Like That. Or he might think it's a big question mark.

By Tong'lu he says something to the effect that he's running from them because they'll just kill him if they get ahold of him. But by then things have been escalating. Feng Xin hit him during the avalanche thing off screen and Mu Qing was surprised by it and asked why he'd hit him. We saw Feng Xin punch him before (after ghost city arc), but Mu Qing wasn't confused as to why that time. In other words, normally he might completely trust him but the events of the book threw everything out the window.

But I can't say for sure what Mu Qing would think would happen.

Weirdly, Feng Xin's response is the more complicated one.

Feng Xin does NOT think Mu Qing will or has serious doubts. Except...that's just what he'll verbalize. Literally what happens in the book, he gives no visible indication that he even remotely believes Mu Qing's explanations at Tong'lu.

It's only after Mu Qing suddenly disappears that the narrator tells us that he wasn't as convinced of Mu Qing 's guilt as he acted. He was just pissed and being an asshole. Mu Qing's disappearance is what actually shakes Feng Xin's belief in Mu Qing.

They have another argument earlier about JL:

-Feng Xin assumes the worst

-Mu Qing explains

-Feng Xin backs down for the moment (and goes to have a nervous breakdown)

-but when he sees him again he starts attacking him (avalanche scene), and this fight is bad enough that they've actually pulled weapons on each other

-This fight/argument continues until Hua Cheng shows up and they have bigger things to worry about

Then we have this:

Feng Xin's pattern might be:

Get mad, assume the worst, say things he doesn't mean, eventually calms down about it/acts like it's fine.

There are a couple times where he's argued into shutting up. It's just that he will bring that thing out, that he has been acting like he calmed down about and accepted, when he's mad.

I think he actually does at least subconsciously believe an Mu Qing Explanation PowerPoint. Why? Because that's what his overall behavior reflects. Or, even if, let's say he doesn't believe anything Mu Qing says ever, thinks he's the fucking worst: he still goes on little adventures with him and hangs out with him.

He doesn't suffer people he dislikes very much, does he? He doesn't even want Xie Lian to hang out with Hua Cheng! He's very "don't associate with those kinds of people." Actually, basically everything you "know" about Feng Xin, is not quite accurate by the end of the book, just like it is with Mu Qing.

Anyway, he still happily puts Xie Lian in a dress with Mu Qing. That's basically the definition of a sworn brother.

But at the end of the day, even though I think this is all very shitty behavior on Feng Xin's part and jail for Feng Xin, jail for Feng Xin for One Thousand Years, their relationship is something Mu Qing likes. He cares what he thinks about him. He doesn't want Feng Xin to think badly of him. Despite Feng Xin being the least generous person with benefit of the doubt, he still defends himself with him and the only other person he does that with is Xie Lian. Everyone else he's accepted he can't do anything about.

Like they must be having good times together that they both find worthwhile or they wouldn't be together. He must find things about him that he values.

Best guess is: he admires Feng Xin's selflessness and devotion to "what's right", the same way he thinks Xie Lian is cool. He wants to be around these two people. These are also the aspects he fucking hates the most and says are stupid and pointless and will get you killed. He hates this behavior, he rants about it, he is horrified by it, and yet he is someone who does it over and over and over again. And it always comes back to bite him in the ass.

As for what Feng Xin likes about Mu Qing...I don't know. Like I can't even guess. He likes the Queen a lot who is gentle and kind hearted and he likes the bravery and toughness of JL. He idolizes Xie Lian. But at no point does he assert Mu Qing is anything but the opposite of those people. Even when he has evidence to the contrary he forgets it or dismisses it. So I really have no idea what a canon reason is for him to like Mu Qing.

Maybe he thinks "I'll go with him because it seems fun or interesting" and "I have to protect him" and doesn't consciously attribute any part of that to Mu Qing.

It's possible he doesn't actually like him, as much as I hate to admit it, this would be mind-numbingly realistic for a guy that doesn't like thinking deeply about things. I think a lot of people don't think too deeply about friendship, because most of the time it's about familiarity and proximity and availability. We both like this activity, you're the person I know, we do it together. I'm sure you've met people, even married couples, that when it comes down to it don't actually like each other, they're just together out of familiarity and habit.

I do wonder what it would have been like if Mu Qing had died, that's kind of the usual outcome for a character like this, I feel like I rarely see in an adult book where a character like this has a suicide mission and then is ok or not, idk, very fucked up by it at least.

I do think they're friends, canonically, but I think their relationship is very unlike what we're used to seeing. But I also think mirrors closely a lot of relationships you see in real life, especially with dudes who hang out but don't figure out a Very Important Subject Ever.

Mostly this was just me making notes to myself and then I thought I'd share.

[belovedstill]

when the candle goes out (light up your own) (ao3) svsss, yuefang | T | 4.3k, post-canon, hurt & comfort, past qijiu, implied spiritual self-harm, anxiety & depression spiral, before they get together (more on ao3)

After the successful prevention of the realm merge, Yue Qingyuan let Shen Qingqiu go. Too bad his heart didn't catch up. In which, after everything settles into quiet and dark, Yue Qingyuan battles with familiar habits, Sect Leader questions his purpose, Yue Qi fights and mourns the past, and Yue-shixiong finally gets some rest — all in the comfort of Mu Qingfang's presence.

written for @ficwip's all-ships ship week event, for day 1's prompt of "I didn't know where else to go". check the event out and join us in celebrating your ship 🥺

Full fic on ao3 & under the cut

After Shen Qingqiu leaves with Luo Binghe, it’s as if the Mountain’s spirit has left with him. Or so Yue Qingyuan thinks.

It shouldn’t feel that different; it’s been a long time since he actively, repeatedly tried to reconnect with Shen Qingqiu and keep some kind of relationship with him, apologise, try to talk to him. It’s been a long time since his efforts were rebuked time and time again.

A long time since he essentially gave up, darkening Shen Qingqiu’s step less and less often. By the time Shen Qingqiu left the Mountain, it’s been months since Yue Qingyuan visited the bamboo house on his own, with a matter entirely unrelated to peak matters (even if thinly veiled as such). It has been a long time, then, too, since this tense, strange silence has filled his life.

This time, though, Yue Qingyuan swears it's different.

Back then, Shen Qingqiu was still there, on the Mountain, on his Peak, in his house — perhaps not waiting, perhaps not even available, but there, somewhere familiar. A known distance away. If he only wanted to, Yue Qingyuan could go to him and pay a visit, undesired as it was. He’d be met with a cold, stern face in candlelight, a sharp remark, a refusal of entry — and then a door left wide open after a rigid silhouette had disappeared indoors.

He could go there anytime. He wouldn’t, of course. But he could.

Now, though — now the Qing Jing Peak Lord’s dwelling houses nobody, even if it is still full of the lord’s belongings.

Shen Qingqiu has vowed to come back from time to time, to keep up with his duties, to guide his disciples, to keep his peak running — but Yue Qingyuan knows with an alarming clarity that something has changed, irreparably, irrevocably.

Years and years ago, what could very well be several lifetimes, for all it felt like, two slave children vowed to run away someday. They waited for the right time, for the right place, for a safe enough opportunity which never came. They got separated. One ran away. One had to stay back.

One was left behind.

The one who was left behind managed to leave, in the end—just not with Yue Qi, and not from slavery.

With Luo Binghe — a demon lord — and from the chains of the past.

Yue Qingyuan has been a noose around his neck which tightens with each hopeful glance and each hopeful word.

…This way, at least, Shen Qingqiu is truly free, isn't he?

Some of these evenings, he ends up on Qing Jing, wandering mindlessly up the stone path leading to the peak lord’s residence. The late autumn air is crisp in his nostrils. Were he not a cultivator, it would surely hurt.

Evenings are cold and dark, with only the moon illuminating the way, and that’s only when the nights are cloudless. Somehow, whenever Yue Qingyuan visits the peak, now or in the past, the moon is always clouded over, rendering any light gone.

In the past, it didn’t pose much of an issue — he could always find his way to the lone bamboo house. Shen Qingqiu kept a candle burning in a lantern set in his window, conveniently facing Qiong Ding.

Yue Qingyuan makes his way up the stone path in total darkness now and trips over a lone stone in his way.

“Who’s there?”

The peak’s lord might be gone, but his disciples remain.

Left behind, Yue Qingyuan’s brain whispers, even though he knows it’s not the case.

“Stand down and do not fret, disciple Ming Fan,” he says in a tone much calmer than his heart. He hasn’t tripped since his own disciplehood.

Ming Fan recognises him in an instant. “Zhangmen-shibo!!” Robes rustle. He must be bowing. “Can this Ming Fan help in any way? What reason has Zhangmen-shibo to visit the peak?”

He doesn’t know himself. He doesn’t even remember leaving his own dwelling.

“No need for concern,” he answers instead. “This evening was simply… A good time for a stroll. No official matter. Disciple Ming Fan may rest and return to his duties.”

The boy used to be ignorant. Now, even in the darkness, Yue Qingyuan feels his inquisitive gaze. He knows his respects, however, and soon Ming Fan bows again and takes his leave.

He stops after a couple of steps and turns his way again.

“Zhangmen-shibo surely knows this,” he says in a hesitant tone, “but Shizun is not currently on the mountain… He’s—”

“I know.”

Ming Fan shuts his mouth. His clothes rustle in a bow again and he leaves without another word.

Yue Qingyuan feels for the rock with his foot and pushes it away. His next steps are more careful.

The candle lantern is gone from the window, even unlit, cold and flameless.

When did it disappear? When was it hidden away, the light leading his way stolen, taken away, kept from him?

When has Shen Qingqiu given up on him for the final, permanent time?

The lantern was there when the Qing generation ascended. It was there when Shen Qingqiu suffered his first qi deviation as a peak lord. It was there when he took Luo Binghe in as a disciple, when Yue Qingyuan first found out about the boy’s punishments, and whenever he came over for visits under the guise of sect-related matters.

It was there the morning he sat at Shen Qingqiu’s bedside, waiting for him to rouse from his fever, only for the man to wake up different.

He doesn’t remember seeing it during any of the other peak lords’ attempts at testing Shen Qingqiu for possession. He distinctly recalls seeing it gone after the Qiong Ding demon invasion, when he waited at Shen Qingqiu’s bedside — again — after returning to the sect to find him struck with poison and thinking him at death’s door.

His eyes didn’t focus on many things that day. He brushed the lack of the lantern in the window simply as it being daytime.

…has he seen it since?

He doesn’t remember. It’s not like he visited that often. Shen Qingqiu has since seemed to have lost his sharpness; for some reason, it brought him no relief.

The bamboo house is dark, cold, and empty. Yue Qingyuan’s heart clenches in sympathy.

With no light to follow, he turns back and leaves.

Sometimes he wonders what the point of it all is.

The world. The sect. Cultivation. Him.

What is the point of Yue Qingyuan? In the past, he had a clear answer. In the past, the point of Yue Qingyuan was to protect, to keep safe. Even if it meant he had to withdraw into the background, the point of him was to make sure others could live as peacefully as possible.

That was his Shizun’s — the past Sect Leader’s — reasoning for choosing him as the next in line, at least.

He had magnificent spiritual aptitude, they said, and he was capable of leading and protecting those in his care.

He remembers feeling as if he were observing himself hearing those words, standing just to the side, disconnected.

Impostor, his own voice whispered in his mind, at himself. You’ve fooled them all. Who are they speaking about? You couldn’t protect the one person that really mattered; how could you protect the whole sect?

He remembers watching himself open his mouth, face blank and eyes unseeing, and saying — and saying…

“Shizun… This one is not worthy…”

“Humble, too,” the Sect Leader remarked, all the while shooting him a warning look, displeased that he was undermining her decision. “A quality a sect leader should have.”

His face looked green, but none of his seniors seemed to notice.

He doesn’t think anybody has noticed, ever.

He sits on his own bed, one hand on the sheath of his sword and the other on the hilt.

If a demon has made Shen Qingqiu feel safer, more secure than Yue Qingyuan… If getting away from him was what finally brought him freedom…

…maybe he should relinquish the sect, too.

The candlelight is gone. Yue Qi draws the sword.

Life energy drains.

He sits like this with eyes closed.

One minute passes. Two.

Five.

Ten.

He feels — lighter, with each second that passes.

Relief.

This way, everything will finally be right in the world again.

Coward, hisses a sharp voice in his head, his memory, his soul, so loud and clear, it knocks all sense back into him.

He wakes up from the trance with a violent gasp and slams the sword back into the sheath.

Xiao Jiu is right, as always. Qi-ge’s a foolish coward; he will listen to him instead.

A Sect Leader who is ready to throw away his life surely doesn’t deserve to keep the title.

He should keep his life as punishment.

Qian Cao is believed to be quite similar to Qing Jing — just as peaceful, just as quiet — but it feels different. Despite the late hour, or maybe exactly because of it, each path is well-lit by glowing plants growing on either side. Even in his weakened state, Yue Qingyuan has no chance to trip. The paths are even and void of any stubborn rocks and pebbles, too.

Mu Qingfang’s healer quarters are still glowing with warm light despite the halls currently housing no patients. It makes sense for the beds to be empty; after all, the only people who were hurt in any way in the past events are not around, or have been healed already — or are standing at the very steps.

It takes him several moments to make himself knock on the healer’s door, and in the end he doesn't even manage to do that before Mu Qingfang opens the door himself. Clearly, Yue Qingyuan isn’t somebody he’s expected to see.

“Zhangmen-shixiong,” he greets in surprise. His eyes quickly turn assessing. “Is everything alright?”

Yue Qingyuan smiles on instinct, and just as habitually opens his mouth to reassure—

Coward.

“No,” he says instead. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

Mu Qingfang blinks. Yue Qingyuan swallows, surprised just as much, if not more.

Then, the healer steps back. “Allow this shidi to try to help.”

He walks in.

Mu Qingfang does not look happy after checking his spiritual veins.

“Zhangmen-shixiong should be more careful with his health,” he chides. “He knows his circumstances are fragile. How will he ascend to godhood along with his sect siblings if he has no life force left when the time comes?”

Ah. Ascension. He’s forgotten about it.

In some ways, having Xuan Su consume his life force truly is a blessing. It could keep him in the mortal realm where he belongs.

At least then Shen Qingqiu will truly be rid of him.

…Will he even choose to ascend, without Luo Binghe? Perhaps the demon will break another taboo and follow right after?

“Zhangmen-shixiong? You’re shaking.”

He hasn’t even noticed.

“Yue Qingyuan,” he whispers. “Yue Qi.”

Mu Qingfang frowns. “What—”

“No titles. Please.”

The pause that follows is so long, he believes Mu Qingfang won’t abide by his request. But then—

“Yue Qi,” the healer says, softly and with such sympathy that it reaches deep, deep inside of him and squeezes.

Mu Qingfang is the closest thing he has to a haven. Even if he doesn’t know exactly what his past consists of, or where he came from, or what exactly his motivations were when he entered the sect — it all concerned Shen Jiu, and Shen Jiu was deeply, deeply ashamed of his past. Protecting his pride was worth never being truly known — he knows more than anybody else still on the mountain.

“Yue Qi.”

Ah, he’s talking.

“Clear your mind.”

“I can’t.”

“Your qi is getting disturbed. Clear your mind.”

“He left.”

“Shen-shixiong will come back, safe and sound. He said so himself,” Mu Qingfang says without any doubt. He presses his fingers to Yue Qingyuan’s wrist and starts a qi transfer. “Clear your mind.”

The qi feels cool and calming. Familiar. His own spiritual veins accept it immediately.

Mu Qingfang’s eyes bore into him with curiosity, calculation, which eventually settles on understanding. Yue Qingyuan can’t bear to see the emotion that’s born out of it.

“Shen-shixiong seemed unburdened when he left the mountain,” Mu Qingfang says, as if it’s a throwaway observation, meant to share the same weight as mentioning the weather.

It’s meant to soothe, but to him it has the opposite effect; it claws his chest apart. Yue Qi feels as if he’s all figured out.

“Mm.”

“Yue Qi seems to be convinced that he won’t return.” Why would he? “But hasn’t Shen-shixiong always returned, no matter the circumstances?”

That he has. No matter his age, or the level of displeasure with Yue Qi, or the sorrow the mountain reminded him of, Shen Qingqiu always came back in the past. Maybe because, before, he had no other place to call home.

Now, though, he has left to accompany the demonic emperor, that Luo Binghe, who no doubt has a dwelling of his own. A lord’s palace, most probably.

The candle is not the only thing that’s disappeared without an explanation, he realises with a start. One day, Shen Qingqiu hissed at him to stop haunting his doorstep, to keep the sect matter talks to the peak lord meetings, all the while keeping the teapot warm.

The next, the contempt was nowhere to be found in his face. It was as if the fever burned away any feelings he had towards Yue Qingyuan — towards Yue Qi — and left only a blank slate. Perhaps to anybody else it would have been a relief, but to Yue Qi it was a life sentence. There was no fixing his mistakes any longer; and if his chance was gone, there was no healing, either. An infinite penance.

“Isn’t it all right now?”

Yue Qingyuan looks up blankly. Mu Qingfang’s eyes are focused and gentle.

“Shen-shixiong is happy and others welcome and seek out his company. There are fewer and fewer people able and willing to harm him, and he himself strays from unnecessary violence. Zhangmen-shixiong...” Mu Qingfang lays a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Yue Qi. This one has long suspected that you and Shen-shixiong have a shared past, and with Madam Qiu’s confession and everything that followed, this one has started putting some long-collected pieces together.”

Yue Qingyuan’s breath freezes in his throat.

It's not even about his secret. If anything, as the sect's primary healer, Mu Qingfang had to have been informed of any health related dangers potentially befalling the sect leader. He knows, just like Yue Qi’s own shizun knew, how Yue Qingyuan’s sword hungers and feasts on his own life once out of its sheath.

It's not about the secret. It's not even about Yue Qingyuan's failure.

It's about Shen Jiu—Shen Qingqiu’s past, the past Shen Qingqiu’s always been so ashamed of, the same past Yue Qi has long sworn in his soul to protect.

If Mu Qingfang’s realisation is in any way guided by Yue Qingyuan’s indiscretion…

Cold weight settles in the pit of his stomach. Failure—his life’s constant companion—turns even more bitter.

Isn’t it alright now? Mu Qingfang has asked, and Yue Qingyuan—Yue Qi—knows it should be. Shen Qingqiu’s happiness should make all the difference.

…but with the lack of sharp looks and the pull at his guilt, and the poking at his conscience, nothing feels right anymore. It’s as if he’s a parched man after years wandering the desert, and his only thirst-quenching flask has just run out of liquid poison. Now, Mu-shidi is offering him chilled water, and it will keep him alive, but the drink will forever lack the familiar relief.

No.

Yue Qingyuan mentally slaps his own face for daring to even think of Shen Jiu as poisonous. Yes, he can be sharp-tongued. Yes, he keeps to himself and rejects any form of help, and lashes out at anybody who crosses an invisible boundary. Shen Jiu who, despite his years and life experience, is a child at heart: distrustful, and suspicious, and ready to leave everything and everyone but Qi-ge — and run far away if only it proved more beneficial.

(...is the Shen Qingqiu who left the mountain with Luo Binghe still the same person? His words are softer now and only their meaning feels sharp. He asks for help, sometimes, and doesn't lash out anymore.)

(He still ran away.)

(Without Qi-ge.)

(More beneficial this way.)

In the moment of silence that follows, with Yue Qingyuan’s eyes dim and Mu Qingfang’s speculating, something shifts. Mu Qingfang briefly tightens his hand on his shoulder, then strokes it soothingly.

“Yue Qi must have gone through a lot in his life,” he says in a gentle tone, more a friend than a healer now. He pulls his hand away and sits right next to him on the patient’s bed. Yue Qingyuan follows his movements half-heartedly in the peripherals of his vision.

Mu Qingfang puts a comforting hand over his wrist and sends forward a soothing stream of qi — not examining, not healing — just comforting. A connection.

“It’s only natural that he’s afraid to let go of what he knows.”

Part of him wants to bristle at being laid so bare. He can’t be afraid. He shouldn’t be afraid. He can’t afford to be afraid.

Beneath Mu Qingfang’s familiar touch, though, maybe it’s not — maybe it’s not so shameful to admit that — that sometimes, when he’s alone after another nightmare of charred remains of the sect, the bodies of his martial brothers and sisters and their disciples, youths never even blossomed, piled on top of one another among the ruins of ash-laden mountain peaks, spiritual caves long depleted and destroyed, the rainbow bridge shattered to pieces — that he’s afraid, so afraid that he’ll fail, that’s it’s just a matter of time…

Life moves in cycles, and the cycle of Yue Qingyuan’s is a constant of failures and too lates and almosts and not enoughs.

“However, what Yue Qi knows is not all that there is.”

Not all…?

His blank look must tell Mu Qingfang everything he needs to know: he smiles and curls his fingers around Yue Qingyuan’s wrist, a stable presence. The qi he sends forward feels warmer.

“Yue Qi’s past was full of difficulties. To aid him through them, to protect him from them, his mind developed… shields.” Mu Qingfang tilts his head in consideration. “Many of them. Shields are perfectly reasonable to carry when there’s danger around. Holding one in battle is exactly what one should do.”

Yue Qingyuan’s heart aches at the onslaught of past memories: small phantom nails digging into the skin of his arm, desperate promises urged and given freely, eyes full of terror and blood and fiery smoke, and cold winter-morning-like clarity… The need to protect, to rescue, to keep safe. If he fails—if it’s gone—what purpose does he have?

Mu Qingfang’s voice drifts around him like a fog, wraps him in a cocoon of cover nearly tangible on all his senses. He continues, as if there was never any break (Was there? How long has he been here?):

“What if the battle is long over?” The words, combined with the stream of qi receding, shatter something deep within Yue Qingyuan. He startles and clutches to Mu Qingfang’s hand with his free one, keeping it in place before it can move away.

Begging again, does he ever do anything but beg?

Mu Qingfang covers that hand of his with his own. Comforting. Grounding. Not leaving. “Does carrying the many shields offer protection or does it hinder one’s every move?”

When Yue Qingyuan turns his head, Mu Qingfang is already looking at him with a warmth both alien and familiar at the same time.

“Yue Qi,” he says, so gently Yue Qingyuan’s soul aches. “The battle is over. You have survived. Put down your shields.”

He would. He really would, if it were that easy.

“I told him,” Yue Qingyuan whispers instead. And, shockingly, Mu Qingfang doesn’t look reproachful, but—proud? Glad? Encouraging? Why? “I told him everything.”

“Mm?”

There’s a moment of surprise. He’s frozen in his seat, overwhelmed, his tongue heavy with all the words flooding his mouth all at once now that there’s somebody willing to listen.

Mu Qingfang seems to understand. He takes the lead and asks, “How did he react?”

“He listened. To everything. Didn’t want to talk. Cut ties to our past.”

“What did you want him to say?”

What did you expect him to do, after everything you’ve done? Yue Qingyuan hears in that question, and has to chase the thought away. That’s not what Mu Qingfang’s asking.

What did he want Shen Qingqiu to say back then?

He wanted him to know that he’d never forgotten about him. That Qi-ge had always been searching for a way back. That Qi-ge had failed to listen to him even after they’d parted, and recklessly rushed into cultivating as fast as possible. That he’d suffered a set-back and had been imprisoned against his will, with nobody listening to his cries and reasonings and pleas.

That he’d gone back for him, but all he’d found was rubble.

That he was sorry.

And he wanted—he wanted Shen Qingqiu, knowing all of this, to look at him again, really look at him, and cling tight to his arm, and shake him, and say, Stuipid Qi-ge! How many times do I have to tell you not to be reckless? Look what you’ve done, look where it all got us!

And he wanted him to say, I’ll just have to stay here and keep an eye on you so you don’t do it again.

And the words, no matter how harsh and sharp, would mean—

“‘You’re forgiven.’”

All of him shakes under the thundering typhoon of shame crashing within him—his body, his thoughts, his voice, his vision, all swimming—and sinking—and caving in—

“Yue Qi,” Mu Qingfang says softly, yet somehow his voice rings loud and clear over the chaos in Yue Qingyuan’s mind. “You’re forgiven.”

He shakes his head. “It’s not that simple.”

It shouldn’t be.

The comforting qi is back.

“It is that simple. You’re forgiven.”

“You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“Then tell me.”

“...I can’t.”

“That’s okay. You’re forgiven.”

“Why?” he asks, finally.

Mu Qingfang’s hands tighten on his in a reassuring hold. “Because you’ve long since repented, no matter what you’ve done, and there’s no more repenting for you to do.”

“Then why—” he chokes on the words, like they’re trying to suffocate him not to let them out. He shuts his eyes and forces them out anyway. “Why—does it—feel like—it’s not—enough—?”

“Perhaps it’s not Shen Qingqiu whose forgiveness you need.”

Not Shen Qingqiu’s—?

“Yue Qi,” Mu Qingfang says, then repeats his old name again and again until Yue Qingyuan opens his eyes and looks at him. “Put down that load. It’s time for you to forgive yourself.”

Himself…?

It’s such an absurd idea—that he could ever dare to allow himself to simply let go, with no consequences—that something in his mind is knocked into place, and the overwhelming fog disperses, and his vision clears. He stares at Mu Qingfang in utter confusion, eyes clear and his qi stabilising.

Shen Jiu will never forgive me, he thinks for the hundredth, thousandth, millionth time, but this time—this time it tastes different. This time, it’s a realisation with no hope woven between the words, teasing at the possibility and stringing him along. This time, it feels final.

The candle has burnt out. The lantern has been hidden. No one's lighting it again.

The battle is over.

The survivors have moved on.

There is no closure. Without the other half of his past, there really is nothing he can do—nothing that would ever be enough—to right this wrong.

It will all remain with him.

It should be destroying him. It should be crushing his mind into a pulp and breaking his soul into countless shards for him to step on for eternity.

What he feels instead is relief; empty, lonely, peaceful.

When he speaks next, his voice no longer trembles.

“I don’t think I deserve to.”

It sounds right, like a fact he’s always hoped to disprove, but now that he’s found solid proof, he can only accept it and move on.

Mu Qingfang watches him with all the care a healer—a sect sibling, a friend, a confidant—could possess.

“Yue Qi.”

He smiles, and it’s as sad as it’s relieved. “Yue Qingyuan.”

“Yue Qingyuan,” Mu-shidi echoes, and squeezes his hands again before moving his touch up his arms. “You deserve forgiveness.”

He waits for the familiar turmoil to come back, to rage against the mere notion, to slam within his ribcage with all the pained conviction.

It never comes. The strange peace remains.

“If Mu-shidi says so.”

It’s not meant to sound dismissive, and Mu Qingfang seems to sense it, because he steels his face into pure certainty and nods, confidence and dedication brimming in his eyes.

“I know so,” he says. His hands feel secure where they hold his arms.

Only when his eyelids grow heavy does Yue Qingyuan realise these very hands have supported his weight all the while.

“I’m very tired,” he admits through the sudden weakness taking over his limbs. As if together with the heaviness and chaos and the load he’s carried within, for two lifetimes, his soul has decided to leave, too.

Weightless.

He tightens his fingers on Mu Qingfang’s robes not to fly away, nor sink underground.

Mu Qingfang firms up his grip in response. “I know. I’ll help,” he assures. “Lean on me, Yue-shixiong. Rest.”

He goes willingly—lets go of any remaining control and sinks where Mu Qingfang’s hands guide him.

Mu-shidi smells like healing.

“I’ll be here,” Mu Qingfang whispers near his ear.

The flame dancing within the candle lantern in the room dims down to a comfortable shade.

The pressure on his head releases with the removal of his hair guan.

Gentle, secure arms hold him close.

Yue Qingyuan closes his eyes, all shields down, and rests.

[eileenwdj]

I see your jun wu as miguel o hara idea and raise you the angsty idea of :

Jun Wu actively trying to kill MQ and him figuring it out over the 800 years. JW isolating MQ and making sure that there's almost no other god ( except fx maybe) at his side. Spidey!MQ could also make it harder for MQ in the Cuocuo storyline bc him and fx are even more distant than in canon.

Also consider : MQ choses non-deities to carry similar powers and helps pick Spiders in different dimensions, even acting as a guardian for some.

(The Miles Morales and Mu Qing parallel is real.)

anon how does it feel to have a big beautiful galaxy brain

god imagine mu qing getting his own arch nemesis like his own green goblin or smthn and the guy just. fucking hounds him. never leaves him alone. everywhere he goes, the goblin is there, lurking and quietly sabotaging every aspect of his life. it fucks mq up so bad. and the worst part is that bc the whole spiderman thing is a secret, he has no one to tell all of this to. all the other heavenly officials notice him becoming weirder and angrier with every passing year but no one has the guts nor the compassion to approach him abt it. all except fx, who tried to help mq despite them being rivals and even though he has no idea what mq's whole deal really is. for a short miniscule second, everything seemed like it could be better.

this is where jun wu swoops in, offering an extended hand for mq, a pillar to lean on. jw checks on mq every so often under the pretense of doting on his officials, keeps him behind after meetings and slowly gains mq's unwavering trust. and i imagine him slowly twisting mq's viewpoint and using all the manipulative abuser tactics to isolate mq and keep him in his grasp. "you can't trust everyone, be wary of whose company you keep." "do you truly believe nan yangs concern for you is genuine?" "i am the only one who understands you, xuan zhen."

and so mq strays even further from everyone else. fx, who had thought they were getting somewhere, is thrown to the side. he has no idea what to do now that mq has fully shut him out.

my god my god...... and the moment when mq finally realizes the goblin has been jw all along.... the heartbreak... the betrayal.... 💔 i'm going to go insane thinking abt this

[peerlessbellbird]

🌀Post the fic summary for a fic you haven't written/published yet. It can be hypothetical or something you really plan on releasing...

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP.

🌀 this one is putting me on the spot bc summaries are almost always the last thing I write for a fic but:

Mu Qing has just come out as a woman, and the worst thing about it is how normal Feng Xin was about the whole thing. It's only a matter of time before he is weird about it though, so surely her best option is to avoid him and hope he won't notice?

It might also help to pretend I have a little dialogue snippet in there too, but I'll only know once I'm done where to pull from 😅

🌤️ a little on the spot for this one bc most of my favourite dialogue is already in a wid wednesday somewhere or published, so here's something pretty fresh, from the same wip as above:

“What are you doing here?” she says it before Feng Xin can say anything, without looking up. “I— Looking for you.” He sounds… normal? Not mad, but maybe almost worried? It makes her teeth itch. “Why?” “You weren’t answering your phone and I ne— I wanted to talk to you.” Mu Qing rolls her eyes. Obviously she wasn’t checking her phone if she’s at the gym. Instead, she says, “did you consider that maybe I didn’t answer because I didn’t want to talk to you?”

[crowning-art]

TGCF SPOILERS

--------------------------------------

THEY TURNED INTO A FREAKING SWORD?!?? THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME I CANT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FUNNY

THIS IS BASICALLY THEM LMAO I CANT STOP LAUGHING

I never thought I would EVER use a transformers gif for TGCF of all things 😂

Stop Qi Ying is a literal puppy it's so adorable

Yin Yu had already snuck behind someone’s back to hide, but he was instantly picked out by Quan Yizhen. He jumped up and shouted, “SHIXIONG!”

Of all the reactions...this guy's reaction to hualian kissing is smt else lmao

Pei Ming: “Ho ho.”

Ok Santa Claus

AND THEN THIS MESS OF A CONVO OH MY GOD AND Qi Ying like ohhh that's how u borrow powers and everyone's like ok, who's gonna tell him?

Xie Lian accidentally choked a bit and only then did he break away. He didn't dare to look down, and shouted towards the sky, “B BORROWING SPIRITUAL POWERS! I’M ONLY BORROWING SPIRITUAL POWERS! VERY PROPER!”

Mu Qing was shaken too. “YOU DIDN’T NEED TO DO THIS TO BORROW SPIRITUAL POWERS THOUGH??? JUST A SLAP OR A SMACK OR SOMETHING WOULD’VE BEEN FINE???”

Xie Lian didn’t know what he was saying anymore, either, and cried randomly, “HAHAHAHA! I’VE BEEN SEEN THROUGH! IT’S NOT ACTUALLY BORROWING ANY SPIRITUAL POWERS! HAHAHAHA…”

FINALLY! JUN WU TOOK SO LONG TO COME DJJDJDJF but hey he's here to save the day!!

This was so poetic and like metaphorical but I'll explain that metaphor some other day lol

After Xie Lian stopped controlling it, that giant stone divine statue was still obediently lying on the ground, a gigantic, exquisitely-sculpted thing. Now that it’d fallen down, it also looked like a small mountain.

Imagine being Qi Ying and waking up and finding yourself in this random demonic place, and then u knock out, and you're a doll and you knock put and suddenly u r being forced into being a sword lmaoo

However, Quan Yizhen was confused. “Why am I going to the west? Just what exactly are we doing right now?”

No one could blame him for not knowing what was going on. Perhaps, he was confused the entire way: Why was he beaten? Why was he buried inside a wall? Why was he turned into a daruma doll? And why did he have to turn into a sword, too? There was not a single point where he’d figured out what was happening.

I CALLED IT AGAIN!!! (I think! I'm pretty sure I did...somewhere) but Goushi was so suspicious I KNEW IT

If Guoshi truly lived in this world for longer than Jun Wu, then the possibility he was one of the Four Guardians of the Crown Prince of Wuyong was even greater!

AYYYY HEAVEN'S EYE IS BACK! Love those funky losers lol

Wait, oh my God wait no oh my God no this has got be a joke, like my heart acc cracked PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS JUST A JOKE that poor beggar with his limbs cut off....was wind Master? Our beloved wind Master???? I literally feel like crying my heart is breaking so much

DID HE XUAN REALLY HAVE TO DO ALL THAT??? WAS THIS REALLY WHAT BROUGHT HIM SATISFACTION AHDUDJDJD UGHHHH IM SO PISSED AND SAD AND UPSET AND ANGRY AND EVERYTHING

My poor beloved wind master....

I am so sad 😔

[curiosity-killed]

evidence of a lost past: part 7

according to my notes, takes place somewhere between parts 3 & 4

story tag

Hua Cheng finds him in the stairwell. Xie Lian should be glad, but mostly he feels guilty for lingering as a problem Hua Cheng needs to handle. He should have excused himself and gone back to his apartment instead of hiding here where he was sure to be found. Wasn’t staying just more self-indulgence? “Gege?” Hua Cheng asks, folding his long frame down to sit beside XIe Lian on the bottom step. “What’s wrong?” Xie Lian forces himself to drum up a smile, though he knows it comes out strained. His throat feels so tight, like he’s only seconds away from breaking into tears. “Ah, it’s really nothing. I’m sorry to trouble you, San Lang,” he manages.

It comes out thin and weak, nearly cracking. He looks away sharply, but not before he sees Hua Cheng’s brow crease in a worried frown. Tangling his hands together, Xie Lian squeezes his fingers until his knuckles ache. He really should have left. He’s just going to make a scene. Again. “If anyone said something—” Hua Cheng starts, a hint of threat in his tone. “No! No it’s not—” Xie Lian cuts off. His hands are still raised from how they’d shot up to wave off Hua Cheng’s suggestion, and he closes them slowly, squeezing them between his thighs to hold them still. He can’t quite finish the sentence, and he can’t give Hua Cheng an honest answer. He balks at the thought of it. What a monster, to look at all those young dancers living out their dreams and feel anything but happiness for their good fortune and hard work. “Gege, please,” Hua Cheng says softly. A hand curves tentatively around Xie Lian’s shoulder. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I want to know.” He surely doesn’t. Xie Lian can’t help a wet, derisive laugh at that, and then it’s as if the doors have been flung wide. “It’s just—I made the choice,” he blurts out. “I chose to give up and leave. No one made me. I did it. But—” He sucks in a breath and squeezes his eyes shut. He’s so pathetic—such a mess even after all this time. Hua Cheng will leave him for sure now. Seeing such a weak and fickle person unmasked, how could he not? There’s something almost soothing about the thought, the steadying certainty of knowing what will happen. It spurs him on, and the words spill out of him like floodwaters, brackish and sour, torrential and unstoppable. “I always make excuses,” he says. “That I’m too old or have taken too much time off or couldn’t come back from my injuries, but then I see so many people who are older than me or took just as much time or started later or had major surgeries and are still doing it. Still living that life.” Mu Qing had only started training at fourteen and had worked three jobs to afford classes. Xie Lian had been the spoiled favorite from near-infancy. Of course Mu Qing should look down on him with scorn. Who wouldn’t? Xie Lian’s breath chokes in his throat, coming out a wet wheeze. At once, Hua Cheng’s hand shifts from his shoulder to rub gentle circles into the center of his back. “It’s alright, gege” Hua Cheng says, low and gentle. “let it out.” Even now, he’s still so kind to Xie Lian. Part of Xie Lian hates it, wishes Hua Cheng would push him away and mock him for such self-pitying thoughts. Most of him craves it, can’t help leaning into the warmth he knows he doesn’t deserve. “I know I should be happy for them,” Xie Lian says slowly, gaze catching on a tile that’s not quite even with the rest of the floor. “It’s such a tough field, and to get to do what you love... But—I wanted that. I wanted that life.” He swallows, briefly bites the inside of his bottom lip. That initial outburst seems to have used up all his energy, and he feels wrung out, desiccated. His eyes burn and blinking doesn’t help. “I’m so jealous,” he admits. “And I hate myself for being jealous. They’re the ones who have worked for it, and I’m just—just sitting here like I’ll get an invitation if I just wait long enough.” Exhaling, Xie Lian presses his hands over his eyes and rubs at the inner curve of his orbital ridge. Saying it out loud feels like the bleakest kind of epiphany; the prince hearing the swan beat against the window and realizing too late that he made the wrong choice. Here it is, his heart seems to say. The secret you have carried so long: you are afraid. For all his bravado and cheerful lies, he is still the boy who sat alone on the curb outside the theatre, waiting for someone, anyone, to let him in. “I’m sorry, San Lang,” he says. “I’ve taken up too much of your time. I’ll let you get back to rehearsal.” “My time is yours.” Startled, Xie Lian looks up sharply. Hua Cheng meets his gaze and doesn’t shy away. There’s a softness to his expression that doesn’t feel like pity, and Xie Lian is so taken aback that he can’t begin to name it, much less reply. Hua Cheng watches him a moment before going on, seemingly picking his words carefully. “Gege is important to me. Naturally, I want to know when you’re hurting and to be with you if you are,” he says. “I want to keep all painful things far from you and protect you from any harm, but if I can’t do that, then I want to be with you and help you carry it. So, it doesn’t matter how long it takes or how much time you need. It’s all yours anyway.” “Oh,” Xie Lian says quietly. He swallows. Of course, Hua Cheng has flirted with him from the very start, playful and teasing and clever. Xie Lian has never really responded, both because he doesn’t really know how and because he knew it didn’t mean anything. Even when he was a teenager, he would get strangers flirting with him—coy looks and fleeting touches, hands clasped anxiously behind their backs as they asked if he wanted to join them for lunch while their friends watched gleefully from across the room. He still gets some now, which always leaves him torn between laughing and crying at the thought of someone asking him out while he’s still filthy from hauling furniture all over the store. Enough polite smiles and feigning obliviousness always dampen the enthusiasm behind such advances. He’d assumed the same would happen with Hua Cheng, and when it hadn’t, he’d decided that it was simply because Hua Cheng didn’t mean any of it. Who would sincerely say such things time and time again when there was no hope of anything coming from it? But looking at Hua Cheng now, he can’t pretend that there is anything less than one hundred percent sincerity in his expression. Somehow, impossibly, Hua Cheng really means what he says. The realization makes Xie Lian’s throat newly tight, choking up as if he’s going to start crying again. He takes a deep breath and wipes at his eye with his palm. His words still feel sticky and tangled, but he forces himself to speak. “Thank you, San Lang,” he says. “Me too. I—I mean, I want to be there for you, too. I want to help you if I can in any way.” A small smile curls the corner of Hua Cheng’s lips. “Gege’s company is already more help than I could ever ask for,” he says. Xie Lian shakes his head. Perhaps it’s the fact that he has no face left to lose, or maybe he’s cried out his common sense, but he sits up a little straighter and turns to face Hua Cheng. “I’m serious, San Lang,” he says stubbornly. “Anything that troubles you, if I can help, I want to—even if all I can do is listen. I want to listen to you, in joy or sorrow.” Hua Cheng blinks once as if taken aback before his smile softens and stretches, growing fuller and more content. “Alright, gege,” he says. “I promise. If you tell me what troubles you, I’ll always do the same.” Satisfied, Xie Lian nods and can’t help echoing Hua Cheng’s smile. His face feels puffy and tight, his throat thick from raising his voice and from crying. “Good,” he says. He sniffs and rubs at his face one more time before dropping his hands. It really has been too long—surely the dancers have started to get restless. If any of them recognized him, they probably have plenty of ideas about the fiasco that might have called Hua Cheng away, he thinks wryly. As long as none of them make rash judgments about Hua Cheng, he doesn’t mind if they think he’s throwing some hissy fit that Hua Cheng had to soothe. After all, it’s hardly all that far from the truth. “Ah, you really should return to rehearsal,” he says. “I should—wash my face.” A little laugh huffs out of him at the last, and Hua Cheng’s smile quirks up before he hesitates. “Are you sure? Yin Yu can handle them,” Hua Cheng says. Touched, Xie Lian smiles more genuinely and waves his hand. “No, no need,” he says. “I’m alright, I promise. I just need to get cleaned up.” Hua Cheng still hesitates before giving a slight nod. Standing, he offers out his hand for Xie Lian. “Gege always looks beautiful,” he says, somehow still sounding perfectly serious. Taking his hand, Xie Lian snorts out a laugh and shakes his head. He’s seen his post-crying reflection enough times to know that isn’t true. Still, it’s sweet of Hua Cheng to be so committed. “Do you still want to come over for dinner?” Xie Lian asks. “En, of course,” Hua Cheng says easily. “Gege’s cooking is the best treat for dealing with these fools.” Xie Lian can’t help snorting in laughter. Hua Cheng really is too shameless. It warms Xie Lian’s cheeks and makes him smile and laugh more readily than anything else has in years. “Be patient with them, San Lang,” Xie Lian chides, though he’s sure his smile ruins it. “They’re still quite young.” Huffing out a dramatic sigh, Hua Cheng purses his lips petulantly and tilts his head to the side. “This San Lang truly can’t compare to gege’s wisdom and patience,” he whines. “Surely it would be better for me to stay and study under his incomparable tutelage.” Xie Lian bites back his laughter and reaches a hand up to poke Hua Cheng’s cheek with one finger. “This San Lang is so shameless,” he retorts. Hua Cheng’s pout breaks into delight, and Xie Lian shakes his head. His cheeks hurt from suppressing his own grin at Hua Cheng’s antics. He just—he really likes him so much. Shaking his head to dislodge such sappy thoughts, Xie Lian straightens up and gives his face one last, futile swipe. His rough hands are chased by a soft thumb gently brushing against his puffy, tight skin. Xie Lian smiles up at him. “Thanks, San Lang,” he says. Hua Cheng smiles and gives a little shake of his head as if to brush off the thanks. “I’ll see you later, then,” Xie Lian says. “En. See you, gege,” Hua Cheng says. Xie Lian draws himself up to finally go. He’s never met someone who can make him lose track of time the way Hua Cheng can, and it would be embarrassingly easy to stay here with Hua Cheng indefinitely. “Hey, gege,” Hua Cheng calls, and Xie Lian turns immediately, “you don’t need an invitation.” There’s a slight furrow to his brows, a solemnity to his gaze that defies the lightness of his tone. An uncertain smile pulls at the corner of Xie Lian’s lips, unsure whether he should smile or frown. Straightening slightly, Hua Cheng taps his finger absently against his thigh as if marking the tempo. “You said you were waiting for an invitation,” he clarifies, “like you’re a guest or a visitor—but you’re not. You said you’ve been dancing since before you ever took a class. It’s home.” He pauses and his hand stills. There’s a steady sureness to his words and posture now, and Xie Lian can’t look away. “You don’t need an invitation to come back home,” Hua Cheng continues. “It will always be there for you if you want it. There’s no hidden key or test. It’s already yours. It always has been.” Xie Lian’s heart pangs strangely, like a hand reached in and gave it a hard squeeze. He doesn’t know how to tell Hua Cheng that he really doesn’t know Xie Lian all that well. Guilt worms in his belly at the thought, but it’s dampened by the warmth of Hua Cheng’s steady regard. Maybe, he thinks, he can tell Hua Cheng someday and it will be alright.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

English language release of SVSSS and TGCF volume 1 review

I was excited to get my copy of the first volume of The Scum Villain’s Self Saving System on Tuesday.  I’m actually not a huge fan of light novels overall, I was raised on a diet of novels and manga. Light novels are something I’d either want to watch the anime/donghua/drama of than sit down and read the novel.

I’m not pooping on light novels as a genre, more that for the most part they have a higher cost of admission if you are reading one that has been translated from another language and cultural context.  What I mean is that they will assume that the reader ‘gets’ a lot of things from a single word/statement/phrase that is based in the original context.  I used to be like this when I first started reading manga and have those original Viz editions of Ranma 1/2 where they weren’t sure what to do with okonomiyaki, so everyone my age had this weird concept that they were like pizza - which they totally aren’t (though very delicious!) or that the entire premise of Maison Ikkoku was really confusing to a place where you don’t have college entrance exams and instead applications based on other things.

Therefore, to jump into the world Chinese light novels would mean finding a way to bridge a lot of those gaps that happen when you lack the context for them.  As a result, I was hesitant to really dive into the entire MXTX catalogue.  I went with SVSSS since it is my favorite series of the three; I had watched the TGCF donghua which was visually stunning and decent enough, but I couldn’t quite get behind the idea of 800 years of suffering.  Though, I’m a fan of the ‘godlets’ or the alternate forms of Mu Qing and Feng Xin, Fu Yao and Nan Feng who hide in plain sight.  And Ling Wen who has academic burn out vibes.  Oddly enough, I have watched all of the MDZS donghua and the cdrama The Untamed, yet all my attempts to read the translation of the original novel just - ugh - I couldn’t do it.  Plus, with a disappointing season 3, MDZS fell in my eyes.  I very much liked the concept from the first two seasons of the donghua.  The drama was too bloody long and I found myself laughing at serious scenes.  What really got me was how almost all the female characters of significance died and I just wanted a few to not die.

Why SVSSS? Is it worth it?

This is my favorite MXTX novel.  In part, I like it since it has more of a levity to it and keeps things fresh.  Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu is the most relatable protagonist out of all of MXTX mains.  He’s a smart guy, a total prude, he works hard to save himself but along the way starts saving others.  I read it online but with the shift to publication, I waited for the print edition since it would have an editor behind it to smooth things out.  As awesome as fan translations are, most suffer from a lack of consistency or get picked up and passed along by different translators making it more of a mess.  Again, this isn’t to be a dick about it, more that having one editor cover an entire work at once makes it smoother.  It is clear that the print edition reads well, for example the translation settled on describing SQQ’s clothing as teal in color instead of flipping between blue or green.  Someone who is into the most literal translation is likely shaking a fist or throwing sleeves somewhere about how teal doesn’t capture the true meaning of the color of SQQ’s garments, but if there is no match in English, why confuse the reader who has a close enough match?  Don’t even get me started on the translators who refuse to translate words into their exact English equivalent because they don’t like the actual English word . . . it helps the reader to use the reference they know.

Additionally, the translation isn’t buried in footnotes, which sometimes are necessary if the statement really is too difficult to explain without out a small paragraph.  What impressed me about this book was the extensive Glossary at the end.  It had descriptions of key concepts, meanings of colors, additional meanings of numbers, names and other important definitions.   The pronunciation guide is helpful for those of us who are linguistically challenged or may have speech/sound impairment.  Again, it isn’t perfect, but it gets the reader closer to a better idea of what a name will sound like.  I honestly have a bone to pick with the person who came up with the how to transfer Mandarin into pinyin.  I get they wanted to make it clear that this sound is different than English, but did you have to use combinations that force the reader to memorize a whole new set of sounds?  As I’ve mentioned with others, I have a speech impediment and can’t distinguish/parse out certain sounds.  So, if they have a sort of idiot proof guide that gets me to about 70% of what it should sound like, it is a win in my book.  And, I’d never get to 100% due to the aforementioned impediment anyways. 

My only slight gripe is that they decided to keep all of the martial arts/wuxia terms for older martial brother, younger martial sister etc which all sound sort of similar to me and all of them start with shi-something.  However, I can see why they stuck with them, first keeping that nuance that would be quite wordy to translate into English and secondly, with a lot of the readers coming from a background of other East Asian media they already memorized similar terms and suffixes.  For obvious reasons, I know what a Shizun is, and -shidi and -shimei my brain can handle, but the rest require me to keep looking them up.  I’ll get there, I’m just not as familiar with Chinese terms . . . What made me laugh were the quick color guides.  I had thought that yellow was the death flag color, but it just means someone is wealthy.  In retrospect this makes sense, since in sometimes the Emperor wears yellow/gold, but these are in a wuxia/xianxia context where the secular government isn’t a thing.  I also appreciated the number information since I’d seen the repeat of a certain word frequently enough that I was scratching my head what it meant.  I distinctly remember this from the Fourteenth Year of Chenghua with the idea of ‘snow snow white’ cooked bok choy being an added effect of how the food should be prepared exactly.

I did take Asian art history classes and have a pretty decent grasp on Buddhism, but my fuzzy memory of reading Tao Te Ching/Dao De Jing by Lao-zi/tze/tzu for fun in undergrad appreciated the basic refreshers on all the Tao/Dao specific terms and concepts.  Since all I could remember of the Dao/Tao was everything was a sort of duality and it confused the heck out of me.  I did have a quick laugh that ‘dual cultivation’ was specifically defined.  The more modern take on jokes/fandom/media concepts were perhaps a bit much, but I’m thinking that the publishers wanted to cover all their bases. The character guide with artwork is a nice touch; I wasn’t expecting that since it was already clear that they’d include the in chapter illustrations.  What really amazes me is that each translation of the novel gets different artwork for each language/region and I like how they don’t match but are still clear about who is who. 

For the physical book, I appreciate the decent paperweight.  It is nice and crisp, the font is a good serif font and the sans serif font for the System makes it very clear when the System is addressing SQQ.  The chapter decisions make sense and are apparently based on the original print version as opposed to the webnovel chapters which makes for a less interrupted read.  I was expecting the chapters to stay the same but it would have sucked to read that way.  I liked the fact that the back cover has color profiles for our early important characters; LQG, YQY and SHL it really matches with the overall vibe of things. 

My only other minor pet peeve is the need to always write out a character’s full name each time they are mentioned.  Shen Qingqiu did this, Shen Qingqiu did that.  I wonder if this was how he was described in the original, so, it is a direct translation?  I personally like to see more variety in how you describe a main character to me.  e.g. The Qing Jing peak lord sighed as he looked over the mountain. or The man as elegant and refined as his weapon indicated did whatever.  I like to keep it fresh as I know that both of these are talking about SQQ.  But really, a minor pet peeve as the translation so far does a good job of having the characters change how they refer to themselves when speaking to others, which is so nice to see in action.

I guess I’ll be buying these into 2023?

After finishing SVSSS, I was curious about TGCF.  As I stated previously, reading about 800 years of suffering isn’t something I’m really into.  Especially with us entering almost two years of covid-19 and lots of other bummer things and frustrations.  I’m a cautious person; I first bought the e-book version of TGCF.  If it caught my attention as a donghua viewer, I’d give it a more honest go. When there are books I’m on the fence about, I’ll frequently purchase the e-book version first and if it hooks me, I’ll go back and buy the physical copy.  I made it halfway through TGCF and figured I might as well get the book.  My oblivious self, in line with what we see of Xie Lian in book one, went to Barnes & Noble after work on Friday and stared at all the cars and people bustling about before realizing they were Christmas shoppers.

Unfortunately, I live in a small city and they had plopped the books in the manga section where light novels took up a single bookshelf with about three copies out on the shelf at a time.

Just like I said as far as SVSSS, the book is high quality.  I was even more excited to see that they adjusted the Glossary to be specific to TGCF!  Good on you Seven Seas team!  If you were lazy, you’d include the exact same information in all your books but you didn’t.  Some terms are repeated while others are specific to the novel.  Nice job, really nice job.  No character sketches at the end, but it has a much larger cast of characters taking up the name and background pages.  Which are only going to get larger based on my limited knowledge of the series. I will look into having a local bookstore pre-order this for me in the future.  I already have my next volume of SVSSS with Right Stuf, but it looks like the next one for TGCF comes out sooner.

What made the difference for me was taking the time to read more of the e-book to get the slightly different vibe than what is presented in the donghua.  The low grade sarcasm/snark in the novel is totally my thing.  I’ve watched the donghua twice and that type of humor/commentary is harder to depict only by character actions when there is a bit more monologue from a few characters.  Additional details here and there really help out with it.  I felt that the screen time for Nan Feng and Fu Yao had to be more over the top to get at their unique personalities with a lot of visual cues but some of the subtlety was lost.  The explanation of Xie Lian’s seal/spiritual binding was also appreciated when the donghua just has him hiding it from San Lang with an ashamed feeling as opposed to it being a clear sign that he got punished. All of this resulted in a very pleasurable reading experience for both books.

Is it a fair price?

I am not opposed to the price tag of ~$20 since it is clear they put a lot of effort into this and everyone deserves to be paid.  The team at Seven Seas clearly must be fans of the genre and really did a great job to make the book high quality.  The fancier cover with the flaps as opposed to a single cover material, will help them hold up a bit better.  The number of people involved can easily show how it retails for the price it does.  Having to negotiate terms for license from MXTX and her legal rep, paying the artists for the cover and interior artwork, the translators, editors, typesetters and other people on the physical side.  Then you have your sales reps, PR people and HR in the company you’d not immediately think of.  Lastly, the publishing industry is currently straddling a tight line and even if these are ‘successful’ it will be unclear how much of that is divided among the creative contributors. I already prepared myself for $80 for all of SVSSS, though I’ll think less deeply about the final cost for TGCF.  I mean it is spread over two years anyways.  The digital copies are cheaper, which would also help someone spend less on it.  There is something more basic and tactile with having a physical copy, yet at the same time I have really tried to cut back on having lots of books just for the sake of having lots of books.

[youareunbearable]

Catch me not having a clue who any of these gods(?) and people are, but still sitting here like, "I ship that pretty one with the gruff one, and that brown haired one with the other(?) gruff one?" without knowing names or what this is except the fanart I see you reblog, because this fandom apparently has lots of nice art

Fam i have no idea what ur talking about or when u sent this im so sorry asfkjhfkjhf but i thiiiinnnkkkk??????? it’s “Heavens Official Blessing” or  Tiān Guān Cì Fú (TGCF for tagging stuff) its originally a chinese gay novel that is soooooooo long by the author  Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (MXTX) who wrote 2 (two?????) other novels that I know of that are also gay historical fantasy but i personally havent actually read TGCF???? im just watching the anime and looking at the wiki and reading fanfics so i have a vague idea whats going on but not really???? so i cant really give a good review BUT i LOVE THE CHARACTERS MXTX WRITES SO MUCH AFHAFKFHKFAKF IM SO SORRY IM SHIT WITH TAGGING SO U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM HYPER FIXATING ON BUT

LISTEN

LISTEN 

LISTEN

Pretty one and the gruff one im THINKING is He Xuan (or Ming Yi/ Ming-Xiong/Ming Bro) for the grumpy one and Shi Qingxuan for the pretty one and both are kinda gender fluid?? (more Shi Qingxuan but they both change their forms to be both women and men which is Iconic and the anime put her in the TRANS FLAG COLOUR instead of her canon white and green which is ICONIC) AND THHEYRE SO TRAGIC AND HOT AND I CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT THEIR STORY LIKE AFHDFKJAFDSGS like i want to kinda read the book just for them, the two super minor characters, but i also read somewhere that their story doesn’t really have a clean ending so im also holding back from just getting Emotionally Hurt because im a cancer and i know it’ll wreck me

I think The Two Gruff Idiots are Feng Xin (dark haired gruff boy) and Mu Qing (brown haired gruff boy) and theyre both martial gods and both knew each other for over 800 years and both tried to take care of Actual Human And Heavenly Disaster Xie Lian, failed, and tried to do it again 800 years later but with stupid glasses with moustaches in hopes that Xie Lian cant figure out that they care about him but OOPS Xie Lian does in fact have the braincell of the three of them fajfafjajf 

Heres the link to watch the anime, there are 11 eps rn but it updates every weekend (I dont actually know when but i watch it on sundays) Make sure u have ur ad block on tho lol there is a manga too and the art style is TO DIE FOR like its GORGEOUS but its roughly at the same pace as the anime so eh

Heres where to read the whole thing online, just a warning its BIG AS FUCK like 244? plus extras I think?? 

I’d also recommend MXTX’s other books!

Mo Dao Zu Shi (or Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/ The Untamed/MDZS) is both a Book as well as an Anime (the whole thing is on youtube) , a Live Action which you can watch on Netflix (look up Untamed, also a warning, the plot is a little different from the book and anime cause of uhhh censorship?? also i guess to make it more live drama friendly, my friends an i binged it and really liked it, but some of the fandom doesn’t), a manga which is not finished I think???? idk im not caught up, and a fucking chinese AUDIO DRAMA LIKE BITCH ITS SO WELL DONE but i have to stop listening sometimes cause like there is a difference between watching/reading characters kiss, and then like just hearing them, i get so embarrassed i have to skip the kissing scenes and god forbid i accidentally click on the smutty extras alfjajlfjalfjaljf u can find it on youtube, i linked the one i listen to but i havent finished it and i don’t think it’s all of it, but you can find other episodes/chapters easily

Its about 1 Dumb Yet So Smart gay/bi man (Wei Wuxian) who honestly tries his fucking best, fucks up everything, dies for over a decade, and then is forcefully brought back to life to solve a murder mystery with the guy who has been in Super Gay Love with him since they were teens (Lan Zhan), a bunch of teens Who Are Just Honestly Here For A Good Time And Yet (Lan Juniors, Jin Ling, and Best Boy Ouyang Zizhen ) while badly hiding his real identity from all the people he knows, including his foster brother (Jiang Cheng) who is out for blood and hunting his ass down with a whip and also Lan Zhan who is travelling with him. Also the Killer. There is a killer on the loose and is willing to murder whoever to keep their secrets. Also Nie Huaisang. I adore him and his brother Nie Mingjue, if there is one bitch u gotta remember from this summary it’s this little twink (he and his brother also have a fucking spin off movie from the live action drama THAT I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO FIND A ENGLISH SUB VERSION AND ITS BEEN KILLING ME SINCE I STARTED WATCHING THIS SHOW LAST YEAR. GOOGLE GIVE ME MY FAVOURITE TWINK AND HIS BEAR OF A BROTHER HAVING A FUN FAMILY ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!)

My Personal Current Favourite is Scum Villain’s Self Saving System (SVSSS) which is SOOOOOOO FUNNY Like it’s not as popular cause the comic was discontinued, and the anime looks like its from 2005 with the weird 3D animation but its my current comfort media!!! 

Its basically about a spite reading millennial (Shen Yuan) who died after reading a REALLY awful popular cheesy smut harem novel (think like 50 shade series but worse cause the protag had 600 wives) and was forced into the body of a minor but important villain (the protagonist’s teacher, Shen Qingqiu) from the novel who was fated to die with all his limbs cut off and his eyes and tongue plucked out and is told he has to fix the story so its not trash, he reasonably freaks the fuck out and hugs the protagonists (Luo Binghe) thigh so hard he turns him gay without realizing. Sadly, he does have to make sure certain plot points happen, which fucks him over a lot,  and he thinks Luo Binghe still wants to kill him instead of love him cause he has the Emotional Intelligence of a Rock, but its so funny reading about him handling all the awful tropey stuff, like imagine u have to be a character in My Immortal But With Porn?????? without breaking out of character too much?? I wouldn’t be able to handle it ajhakfkfhjfj He also finds out that he’s not the only transmigrator in the novel either, but it doesn’t matter cause theyre both So Fucking Stupid Collectively but everyone would honestly die for the both of them

warning for this story though, the main relationship is a teacher/student relationship, but nothing happens until the student is in his 20s and also kinda not his student anymore cause he’s running hell??? but if that squicks u out i totally understand and offer you to PLEASE still enjoy some of this media, and instead of the BingQiu ship, I offer you the LiuQiu one, where both me and the main character cry over how a beautiful man/fellow immortal lord loves the main character so much that he literally fought every day for 5 years to be by his side and I Think Thats Beautiful and I kinda like this ship more than the main one tbh PLEASE just look at the art for Liu Qingge because i love him so much, he’s like if you took Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng from MDZS and mashed them into one beautiful man the author is trying to tell me is straight but u take one look at him And Tell Me Otherwise

[blenderfullasarcasm]

First Line Tag Game

Tagged by: @beedok

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

[Most to least recent, based on date of most recent chapter posted to ao3]

1. "...And here's your desk, Mr. Lupin. If you have any questions, please let me know!" said the cheerful woman who had introduced herself as the head librarian. Remus, who had only ever interacted with one librarian in his entire life, was still having trouble reconciling her pleasant and outgoing demeanor with Madam Pince's strict and disapproving one.

2. “Look, man, are you going to sign for the package or not?” the Amazon delivery guy asks, voice muffled by his mask. Feng Xin eyes the package warily - more specifically, the garish tag that says “From: Mu Qing” in the gaudiest font possible.

3. So. Ghosts. They were apparently a thing that existed. And not only in horror movies.

4. "Sherlock. There is a child on our couch." Well. That wasn't the strangest thing Conan had ever woken up to hear.

5. Lan Qiren is a busy man. Person. Entity.

6. Jiang Cheng is a little surprised when his first interaction with Nie Huaisang involves quite literally running into him in one of the DWMA's many hallways.

7. So. The thing is. Wei Wuxian has the type of soul wavelength that can resonate with anyone without having to think too hard about it.

8. Okiya Subaru, formerly known as Akai Shuuichi, was desperately, mind-numbingly bored.

9. Izuku blinks, staring up at the ceiling - he feels like he’s been doing that for a while, but he's still not sure whether there are four tiles or sixteen. Or maybe more? That's probably bad.

10. It happened on Wednesday, which was unfortunate.

11. Conan’s leaning over a body (because of course he is; clearly, it would be too much to ask that he, perhaps, be allowed to go somewhere without some sort of crime happening) when he feels it the first time.  The hairs on the back of his neck rise up, and he freezes, the distinctly cold sensation of being watched washing over him in a wave - the kind that sneaks up on you, that you don’t notice until it’s almost too late.

12. It’s a normal heist when it happens, though none of your critics are there, which makes it slightly boring.

13. 30 October xxxx | Test #35 | You draw your eyes over the deep lines carved into the floor, checking the sigils one final time before your experiment starts.

14. It’s three in the morning when Steve’s eyes snap open; he knows the exact time - seven past three - because of his new clock with the red light-up numbers that he’d bought for himself after he’d accidentally bashed the old one to pieces.

15. Why me? the unnamed henchman moaned internally.

16. Conan sighed, sidling over to where a certain thief was leaning casually against the wall before flipping the switch on the white noise generator in his pocket. “You know, there is a reason I'm in hiding.”

17. Conan doesn’t really like telling scary stories.

18. I have a secret.

19. Haibara had tried to fix it.

20. Dark Shadow watches as his host does something funky with some weird, like, plant-looking things (?) and some bowls and the unborn.

tagging: @animika123 @summerbummin @vandrell

[satonthelotuspier]

Day / Chapter 3 of Liushen week!

You can find part 1 and part 2 at the links. Mildly spicy.

How To Catch An Aloof And Untouchable Immortal

Attempt 3 - Tea

Yang Yixuan found him that afternoon. He was carrying an armful of correspondence Liu Qingge had been tying to evade for a good while. It was a game they often played, because Liu Qingge didn’t like paperwork, and if he managed to avoid it for long enough Yang Yixuan would have to deal with it, or risk missing important deadlines.

His head disciple virtually slapped the pile into Liu Qingge’s chest, (remind him why he put up with this again?), and he was about to respond with his usual, waspish retorts, when Yang Yixuan lifted his chin.

“If you shout at me, I’m not going to tell you the news.” His head disciple was brash, loud, and had a quick temper. Much like Liu Qingge. It was annoying.

“Who says I want to hear your news?” Liu Qingge demanded. Honestly, where was the respect? Why did he end up with the argumentative little brat? He hadn’t even wanted a head disciple.

“Understood, I’ll not tell you about Shen-shibo then.” Yang Yixuan spun on his heel and was about to march off, except Liu Qingge had dropped everything to the ground and caught him by the arm.

“What about Shen Qingqiu?”

Yang Yixuan was about to point out he hadn’t been interested a few moments ago, but something in his Shifu’s face warned him against it, and he actually paid attention to it this time.

“I met Ning-shijie on her way back to Qing Jing Peak at midday, Shen-shibo has returned from the demon realm and-,” he didn’t get to finish, as Liu Qingge was already striding away from him and towards the Rainbow Bridge.

***

He made his way over to Qing Jing Peak without pausing.

He had had weeks to dwell on what had happened between them. And he needed answers. There was a part of Liu Qingge that couldn’t believe he had allowed it to happen, and another part that couldn’t believe Shen Qingqiu had.

Without doubt their relationship had started off as frigid, all those years ago, when Shen Jiu had first joined the Cang Qiong sect. Years of undisguised mutual disgust had changed when Shen Qingqiu, now peak lord of Qing Jing Peak, and second only to Yue Qingyuan in seniority, had unexpectedly, and completely against his character until that point, saved Liu Qingge’s life.

Liu Qingge had lost control of his cultivation, and almost lost his life as he suffered a qi deviation. Actually, he had almost killed Shen Qingqiu, but the other had helped him.

If asked before how likely Shen Qingqiu would have been to offer aid to him in that situation, and not just cut him down dead, he would have said not at all. But the other had.

And something like a tentative friendship had developed between them. Except Liu Qingge had trouble expressing such a sentiment, and so had shown his friendship in other ways, fighting for him, always collecting his lost fans, healing him of the poison without cure when it flared up and blocked his qi circulation.

That it could be something more…it wasn’t possible. Liu Qingge, while he did have more tender feelings for Shen Qingqiu, wasn’t capable of something as flighty as love. He was the War God of Bai Zhan Peak.

But they had had sex together. He had been hazy on the details that first morning, but with Shen Qingqiu absconding to the demon realm in the wake of their intimacy, he had had plenty of time to think on it. And he did have some memory of the night after the first foggy clouds had lifted.

It had been awkward and embarrassing, or it would have been if they both hadn’t been under the effects of alcohol. He had been a virgin, and he was entirely convinced the same was true for Shen Qingqiu.

They had begun with clumsy, messy kisses, which had continued for quite some time, becoming less so as they had grown used to the glide of each other’s mouths, the shy brush of tongues, the hot panting breaths.

Oil had been procured from somewhere, and they had argued back and forth over who should put what, where. Despite neither initially willing to be the giving party, due to lack of experience and an unwillingness to hurt the other, eventually Shen Qingqiu, full of alcohol-fuelled bravado, and snatched the vial, with a muttered, “Give that here, Liu Qingge, my sister read enough danmei that I know what I’m looking for.” he had slipped from the formal intonations of Shen Qingqiu, and besides had used words that meant absolutely nothing to Liu Qingge. What was more confusing had been the fact that he was entirely sure Yue Qingyuan and Shen Jiu had known each other as children, and neither had ever mentioned a sister of Shen Qingqiu’s. And what was danmei? He understood the characters, of course, but not what they were as a concept.

It had definitely been awkward, unskilled, but they had fumbled and experimented and stumbled their way to something that had been, if not soul-altering, then at least mutually satisfying.

And instead of facing the aftermath, the morning after, Shen Qingqiu had run away to the demon realm.

Liu Qingge stopped in his march suddenly. He had made it to Shen Qingqiu’s little bamboo hut without realising.

He didn’t actually know what he was going to say, now he had cornered the other in his lair, with nowhere to run to.

But he wouldn’t let that stop him.

He strode inside, full of purpose, and intent.

“Shen Qingqiu!”

The slender, elegant figure of the master of Qing Jing Peak was seated at the table, behind a tea service. In fact he was just placing a cup in front of Yue Qingyuan.

They both stared at him having made his dramatic entrance.

He felt his face flush.

“Liu-shidi, perhaps you would like to join Zhangmen-shixiong and this humble one in a drink.”

Shen Qingqiu seemed serene, knowing Liu Qingge could broach no such intensely private subject in front of their sect leader.

He strode in and dropped himself into the seat across from Shen Qingqiu, attempting to regain the tattered shreds of his composure.

“Thank you,” he said briefly, and accepted the drink Shen Qingqiu placed in front of him.

He would just wait. Yue Qingyuan would have to return to deal with sect business before too long, a busy sect leader could only spend so long in polite visiting.

So he settled down to wait.

But he hadn’t counted on Shen Qingqiu’s fan club.

Just as Yue Qingyuan was rising to take his leave, Qi Qingqi, Peak Lord of the Xian Zhu Peak arrived, with her head disciple, Liu Mingyan, in attendance.

More tea was brought in by Ning Yingying, and he sat through Qi Qingqi berating Shen Qingqiu for his absence like a strict, yet secretly fond, older sister, while Liu Mingyan, that traitor of his blood, dared to question Shen Qingqiu about how he and ‘Luo-shixiong’ had spent their time.

As Qi Qingqi made to leave, Mu Qingfang arrived, both to pay a social call, and collect some rare fungi with several medicinal uses, which Shen Qingqiu had brought him from the demon realm. More tea was served.

Shang Qinghua, once disgraced lord of An Ding Peak, was of course next, demanding all news from the demon realm, but secretly wanting only information on Mobei-jun. Liu Qingge sneered into his...how many cups of tea had this been again?

How could one person drink so much tea?

It grew late, and Ming Fan came to enquire as to whether Shen Qingqiu and his guests would require dinner. and Shang Qinghua took that as a cue to leave.

Finally. It looked liked after an afternoon spent doing nothing but sitting and drinking tea he would finally have a chance to speak to Shen Qingqiu on his own.

There was a sudden booming voice from the doorway, “Shen-shixiong, drink with me tonight.” It was the Peak Lord of Zui Xian Peak, followed by his disciples, bearing several jars of alcohol, and a bemused Shang Qinghua, who had been waylaid on the Rainbow Bridge and convinced to return to Qing Jing Peak to join the party.

Though sturdy, the cup in Liu Qingge’s hand smashed into a thousand pieces, under the immense pressure of his grip.

[lesbloggerables]

Nirvana in Fire Character Guide

First things first: Nirvana in Fire takes place in a fictional kingdom in about 6th century China. The kingdom in question is Da Liang (sometimes called Great Liang). As was the custom in the olden days, it exists in a state of near-constant warfare with neighbouring lands.

The capital city of Da Liang is called Jinling. That’s where most of the action takes place.

The country is ruled by the Emperor. This dude:

His name is Xiao Xuan, but hardly anyone ever uses it, so that’s not actually super relevant.

The emperor has lots of relatives: grandmother, siblings with their offspring, and children from his various wives. These people are relevant to the plot in different ways, so I’ll give a quick rundown, not in order of their importance. In fact, this whole character list is not in order of importance, since I expect the actual protagonist will only show up somewhere towards the middle ^^

Grand Empress: the emperor’s grandmother. Super old, forgetful, but still likes to be surrounded by young people and cares about all of her grandchildren, though she may not remember who any of them are. Likes giving them sweets and recommending marriage.

Dowager Empress: the emperor’s mother. She’s dead now and only appears in one scene, but that one scene is enough to conclude that she was a piece of work.

Grand Prince Ji: the emperor’s brother. Stays out of politics, prefers music, dancing and drinks. 

The Crown Prince, Xiao Jingxuan: the emperor’s eldest surviving son. Really keen to keep his place as Crown Prince and eventually inherit the throne. Engaged in a power struggle with his half-brother Prince Yu, and as such makes sure to recruit supporters to his side. Cultivates a number of ministers in a quid pro quo arrangement. Resides in the Eastern Palace, hence references to his plots as “plots by the Eastern palace.”

Noble Consort Yue: the Crown Prince’s mother, favoured by the emperor for many years, which is one of the main reasons why her son is this high in rank. Manipulative, ruthless and much smarter than her son.

Empress Yan: the emperor’s wife, high in status thanks to her official position but lacking the emperor’s favour. Comes from a very respected family. Has no children of her own and so adopted Prince Yu. Likes power.

Prince Yu, Xiao Jinghuan: the sixth prince and emperor’s other very prominent son, fighting tooth and nail to supplant the Crown Prince and get to the throne. People say he resembles the emperor the most.

Prince Yu’s wife: confusingly calls the empress her “mother,” but that’s just a polite form of address. Her hobbies involve loving Prince Yu and helping the empress plot with him. Her brother is the head of the Review Court, which forms some branch of the judiciary. He’s a useful connection for Prince Yu to have.

Marquis Yan, Yan Que: the empress’s brother. Used to be great friends with the emperor in his youth, still very influential in court when he bothers to make an appearance, which is rarely.

Yan Yujin: the son of Marquis Yan, so the empress’s nephew. A wealthy youth with an amiable disposition and without a particular occupation, not bad at martial arts. Is into music and courtly gossip.

Concubine Jing: one of the emperor’s low-ranked concubines. Very mild and calm. Is a skilled doctor. Hobbies include making herbal concoctions and being more perceptive than people give her credit for. Mother of Prince Jing.

Prince Jing, Xiao Jingyan: a low-ranking prince, out of favour with his father the emperor. Has spent many years in functional exile on military campaigns. Known for his stubbornness and temper; unbending in his views on right and wrong. Dislikes scheming and strategists, because he blames the death of his childhood best friend, Lin Shu, and his beloved elder brother Prince Qi on a schemers’ plot.

Lin Shu, often referred to as xiao-Shu: Prince Jing’s childhood best friend and young marshal of the Chiyan army. One of the many people implicated in the rebellion case involving this army twelve years ago and sentenced to death for treason. Related to the imperial family through his mother, one of emperor’s sisters.

Grand Princess Jinyang: Lin Shu’s mother, the emperor’s sister. Committed suicide twelve years ago, once she learned her husband and son were executed for treason.

Lin Xie: Lin Shu’s father and Princess Jinyang’s husband. Commander of the Chiyan army, accused of rebellion and executed for treason.

Consort Chen, Lin Yueyao: Lin Xie’s sister. Married the emperor and was favoured by him. Best friends/all but sisters with Concubine Jing. Mother of Prince Qi. Committed suicide after his death.

Prince Qi, Xiao Jingyu: now-dead former Crown Prince. Implicated in the Chiyan rebellion case and forced to drink poison in his prison cell twelve years ago.

Consort Hui: yet another of the emperor’s many consorts and concubines. Timid and bullied by the empress. Prince Jingting’s mother.

Prince Ning, Xiao Jingting: a low-ranked prince. Due to unspecified health problems, is not fit to rule, so he’s out of the running for the throne. Not involved in politics.

For the record, the emperor has a few more wives and sons who are even less relevant to the plot and aren’t worth mentioning.

Grand Princess Liyang: the emperor’s sister, still alive. Lives fairly quietly and focuses mostly on her family. Thinks a lot more than she says. Married to Marquis Ning, has three children with him.

Marquis Ning, Xie Yu: prominent military man, commander of the Capital Patrols, which is basically an army responsible for order in the city. Trusted by the emperor. Has managed to maintain the appearance of impartiality in the power struggle between the Crown Prince and Prince Yu, but in actual fact he’s one of the main forces shoring up the Crown Prince’s side.

Xie Bi: the younger son of Xie Yu and Princess Liyang. Unwitting of his father’s allegiances, supports Prince Yu.

Xiao Jingrui: Xie Bi’s elder brother, the firstborn son of Xie Yu and Princess Liyang. Pretty great at martial arts, sensitive and loyal. Best friends with Yan Yujin.

His story involves complex not-quite-switched-at-birth shenanigans, so it’s unclear which family he’s related to by blood: the one of Xie Yu and Princess Liyang, or the Zhuos, a family of prominent martial arts experts. Since his birth name is unclear, the emperor gave him his own last name (Xiao). The emperor also decreed that both families should share him, which they amiably do. This has brought the families so close that now Jingrui’s younger sister from the Xie side, Xie Qi:

... is marrying Jingrui’s elder brother from the Zhuo side, Zhuo Qingyao:

Zhuo Dingfeng is Qingyao’s dad and Jingrui’s other father. He heads the very influential martial arts sect called the Tianquan Manor.

He and his family are part of the so-called pugilist world/jianghu, meaning the world of Chinese martial arts experts. This world operates outside normal society, but happenings in it are still known in the capital, since the martial experts are renowned for their badassery and useful to those who can strike an accord with them. The Tianquan Manor is one of the two powerful plot-relevant sects.

The other one is the Jiangzuo Alliance.

The head of the Jiangzuo Alliance is Mei Changsu, who is the actual protagonist of this story.

Despite his leadership of a powerful martial arts sect, he knows no martial arts himself and is physically frail. Also very clever. He engages in wearing lovely fur cloaks, ignoring his doctors’ orders and plotting from behind an impeccable poker face.

Fei Liu: Mei Changsu’s young and super loyal bodyguard. Exceptionally talented at martial arts. Is into protecting Mei Changsu, eating melons and arranging flowers.

Li Gang: Mei Changsu’s second-in-command, kind of. Runs his household and take care of a lot of things. Very loyal. Spends a lot of time worrying about Mei Changsu’s health.

Zhen Ping: a badass martial arts expert, part of the Jiangzuo Alliance.

Uncle Thirteen: a composer by day, a Jiangzuo Alliance spy master by night.  From an entertainment house in the capital called the Miao Yin Court, runs a web of information that feeds back to Mei Changsu, with no one being the wiser.

Gong Yu: a renowned music performer working with Uncle Thirteen, both on the music and on the spying. Is also part of the Jiangzuo Alliance.

Tong Lu: another person working for the Jiangzuo Alliance. Pretends to be a harmless vegetable vendor, is actually delivering lots of information to Uncle Thirteen.

Mei Changsu is also friends with Lin Chen, this dude:

He excels at knowing things, healing people and shit-stirring.

He is the head of Langya Hall, meaning a kind of ancient Google. The people who work there collect and store all possible information, to then dish out to requesters for a price. They also publish annual lists of the awesomest fighters, most beautiful ladies, greatest scholars, etc.

Mu Nihuang: everyone refers to her as a princess, but she’s not actually the emperor’s daughter. She comes from the influential House of Mu in the Yunnan province and commands an army of 100,000 men, all very loyal to her. Her army defends Da Liang from an enemy country to the south, Southern Chu. As a young girl, she was betrothed to Lin Shu, and technically still is, but only because nobody bothered to break the engagement after his death.

Mu Qing: Nihuang’s younger brother, whom she practically raised. Adores his sister.

Meng Zhi: the commander of the Imperial Guards (basically, in charge of protecting the emperor) and the best fighter in the kingdom. Served in the Chiyan army for a while, but was transferred out before the shit hit the fan.

Lie Zhanying: Prince Jing’s second-in-command. Accompanied him on many a military campaign.

Qin Banruo: Prince Yu’s strategist. Clever, beautiful and ruthless. Maintains a spy network through a pleasure house she runs. Inherited the spy network from her teacher. 

Duke Qing: an influential military dude and a major supporter of Prince Yu. At the very start of the show he’s already embroiled in a scandal over lands he has unlawfully appropriated, and the Crown Prince’s side is happily digging his grave so as to deprive Prince Yu of this powerful ally.

Xia Jiang: head of the Xuanjing Bureau, which is like the FBI? except if the FBI were loyal only and exclusively to the emperor. The bureau and its members pointedly take no part in the princes’ fight for the throne. The emperor places a huge amount of trust in Xia Jiang.

Xia Dong: an executive officer at the Xuanjing Bureau, a pupil of Xia Jiang. A badass investigator. Still loyal to the memory of her husband, Nie Feng, whose death via betrayal was one of the early acts in the Chiyan army rebellion case.

Xia Qiu and Xia Chun: two other major officers of the Xuanjing Bureau, also Xia Jiang’s disciples. Luckily, it’s not important to keep track of which is which.

Gao Sheng: the city magistrate who gets to investigate, like, crime in general:

Constable Zhang, the magistrate’s assistant:

Shen Zhui: a Ministry of Finance/Revenue official with a good head on his shoulders. It’s worth remembering him.

Cai Quan: a Justice Ministry official with a lot of feelings about justice. It’s worth remembering this one, also.

There’s also a whole bunch of ministers of whom we may as well keep track, though honestly it’s not always necessary:

Luo Zhijing, Minister of Finance/Revenue: supports the Crown Prince. 

Qi Min, Minister of Justice: supports Prince Yu.

He Jingzhong, Minister of Personnel: supports Prince Yu.

Chen Yuanzhi, Minister of Rites: supports the Crown Prince.

Li Len, Minister of Defence/Martial Affairs: supports the Crown Prince.

Minister of Public Works: supports Prince Yu. (Apparently does it discretely enough that I don’t recall seeing him on screen ^^)

Minister Liu Cheng from the Grand Secretariat: stays out of the princes’ fight for the throne.

His granddaughter, Miss Liu, becomes relevant at one point:

Then there are the foreign powers:

Da Yu: an enemy kingdom, historically the biggest enemy of Da Liang, though they haven’t been any trouble for the last 12 years. They suffered a crushing defeat all those years back and have been sitting in relative quiet. We don’t trust them tho.

Hua kingdom: it no longer exists, because it was defeated by and assimilated into Da Liang some time ago. Some members of the Hua tribe are still cross about this. Notable personalities from there include the two now-deceased princesses, Princess Linglong and especially Princess Xuanji, who plotted fiercely for the kingdom’s resurgence.

Northern Yan: an enemy kingdom. Their previously unexceptional Sixth Prince was recently named the Crown Prince to the surprise of everyone around. The assumption is that some very clever strategist helped him onto the throne.

This warrior, Baili Qi, is from there:

As is this dude whose name I don’t know. He’s an official/diplomatic representative from Northern Yan:

Southern Chu: yet another enemy kingdom. Some 20 years ago, the prince of this kingdom was held as a hostage in Da Liang. He went back since and became the ruler. There are constant wars/skirmishes on that border, and Nihuang’s troops in the province of Yunnan keep them in line.

Duke/Prince Ling, Wen Xian is from there.

As is Princess Nian Nian, the ruler’s daughter.

There are of course more characters, but their identities are less confusing/less important to the plot, and I had to draw the line somewhere ^^ Hopefully, this already helps!

[mvsicinthedvrk]

"I knew you that recently?" he asks, genuinely surprised. At the beginning of June-- that wasn't long ago at all. Xie Lian had originally been expecting that they would have been estranged long ago, and that he would have forgotten the other for years, or a number months at the very least, though the cat's small size eliminated a lot of options there. But June, that was only a few weeks ago, and he doesn't remember anything out of place much less having found a whole cat in that time. He trails behind the other man as he heads to the kitchen, also following in the wake of the kitten's happy trotting. Though the man barely spares her a glance as he goes along with cleaning and making the tea; he must be used to this kind of thing, Xie Lian doesn't think he would be able to be that strong in the face of such a cute display. "Oh, you just want attention, don't you," he says with a laugh, crouching down to carefully pull the kitten from where she's pawing at Mu Qing's legs, though he seems well-practiced in ignoring her. He can definitely distract her, deciding to sit cross-legged on the kitchen floor and wiggle his fingers to get her attention on her left and then her right. She seems to have no problems crawling up and over his knees, and playfully attacking his wrist to gnaw on and keep herself busy. Though distracting her becomes significantly more difficult once she catches wind of her own food being prepared, and Xie Lian is helpless to help much there. When Mu Qing heads back to the living room, he shakes himself off as he stands and follows, instead moving to an actual chair. "From Xianle? Feng Xin mentioned that was what it was called..." He's still not sure he can wrap his mind around the whole thing, being from somewhere that doesn't exist, but he'll attempt to keep an open mind. "I'll try," he says.

                              a very global observation with little eye for detail: by those standards, it would have mattered not if he were to live in an apartment or a cardboard box, as both could serve to hold a roof above one’s head. he'd only need to give it a number and a doormat. suddenly, it is no wonder that the crown prince’s attempts at cooking had always turned to disaster. substituting vegetables for grass or curry for jam likely would not at all be out of order. mu qing decides to swallow his commentary back still, not wanting to get stuck discussing these superficial matters when any outcome would fail to benefit him and likely only grate on his nerves. “it’s been almost two months now. tuesday, the sixth of june, while we were headed towards my apartment. it was you who heard her cries and insisted we investigate.” the more information he were to give his highness, the more likely it would be to accidentally trigger some old memories. by that logic, it’d be good to give him all the details. as if on cue, xiao bao came running the very moment mu qing was about to open the fridge, purring contently while curling around and pawing at his legs. it was obvious the reason for escape had been the prospect of food, though mu qing calmly proceeded to prepare the tea first; adding the lemon, along with some cinnamon, cardamom and ginger, cleaning all utensils in the process. only after he’d set the tea to slowly simmer on the stove did he move to prepare the kitten’s bowls as well, before returning to the living room. “it will take a little moment for the tea to be ready to serve. your highn— you can take a seat while you wait.” mu qing paused for a moment, dark eyes flickering towards a worn-out book across the room, before deciding: “i have something i would like to show you from the place we both grew up in.” your kingdom, he thinks despondently, making his way towards the cherished item. “even if you won’t recognise it immediately, please try and see if anything seems at all familiar.” 

[mvsicinthedvrk]

"Two." Xie Lian pauses, before asking, "If someone told you that you grew up with them in an entirely different place, and they seemed to be telling the truth even though you were certain you'd never met before... what would you do?" It might be valuable to get Shen Qiao's opinion on this, considering he still doesn't know exactly what to make of the situation he'd found himself in, being mistaken for-- or having forgotten being-- a prince. "They both seem to have good intentions, but I'm not sure what to do, when I still don't remember the past that they both sound so convinced about." Maybe it's silly to even bring it up with Shen Qiao. Of course he remembers Xie Lian's past as well-- they'd been friends for so long-- so he should be proof enough that what Feng Xin and Mu Qing had tried to tell him was nonsense. But at the same time, Xie Lian can't imagine the two men as liars. There's a breakdown of understanding somewhere; he just doesn't know where it is. His friend reassures him that he doesn't need to give anything back to the bakery as thanks, and it would be rude to continue arguing, so he agrees. "If you're sure... Although that's not selfish at all of you to think. It's mutually beneficial." If the bakery gets business, and everyone else gets deliciously flaky pastries, then everyone wins. "Oh, I'm not supposed to bake with the oven anymore. But the sifter's unique, the metal part is a bit bent-- which gives it character!-- and I think the handle is porcelain, maybe? It has small bluebirds painted on it, it's really very nice. I found it atop a trash can outside of a cafe." Well, in the trash can, technically. But not that far in. He hadn't even had to shift the garbage bags much to grab where he had seen the handle sticking out.

                                        “a few others? i’d like to meet them, if you bring them along. have you made that many new friends lately?” xie lian’s personality was pleasant enough to befriend anyone he’d run into, to the point where shen qiao was certain he was on good terms with more than half of the city’s population. but it wasn’t all too often that his neighbour got around to actually introducing new friends to him, leaving him a little curious as to how he’d suddenly come to meet a few new people to bring into their little circle. at xie lian’s suggestion to give him something in return for the pastries, both his hands immediately raise, waving them dismissively. “there’s no need for such a thing,” he reassured him, “i’m only happy to bring along some of the bakery’s delicacies, especially when you are bringing along new friends. if they have a taste of marinette’s pastries, i’m sure they’ll be frequenting the bakery in no-time. that’s already a selfish enough thought as is, isn’t it?” shen qiao gently posed, despite how contradicting those words were from his true intentions. that aside— ‘very special flour sifter’ does not sound all too promising, coming from xie lian's mouth. “you should keep the flour sifter in case you need it at home. but, i am curious as to why it’s so interesting? where did you find it?”