#moving from one apartment to another
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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.
#leverageposting#leverage#sophie devereaux#particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school#or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think#she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks#she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself#as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund#her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one#or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s#bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random#hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times#in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer#enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth#name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg
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if i had a nickel for every time a morally grey character whose main motivation for the catastrophic betrayal he committed was initially described as being in the name of his people and his culture and then, in the next installment, was retconned to actually be because a woman he loved got murdered and he got real upset about it, i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice
#this is about solas dragonage and vander arcane#WHAT is with writers moving away from dedication towards a collective#in favor of siphoning a character's driving motive into the hands of One (1) extremely fridged woman#and why did it happen AGAIN not even a MONTH APART#is trying to save your entire culture to the detriment of another not compelling.#is betraying your lover due to realizing the violence of his revolution extends to the people you're fighting for not ENOUGH#if not then WHY?????? LET IT BE ENOUGH!! IT IS!! I FUCKING PROMISE IT IS!!!!!!!!!#also should i tag this as critical. sorry lol#arcane critical
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Doing this to you and then running away hehehe >:3
Bonk! Hehehe, that's such a cute gif, we should be cats together, no responsibilities for you. You'd be a ginger car. Cause you're Irish. And I'm stereotyping you.
Also! Idk how I even got this fucked up but I just woke up at one AM with the light still on and one shoe on in my bed.
I've just spent like 5minyes explaining my dream in the tags and I replaced 'where' with 'were' two times so if you're going to read the novel I wrote be wary of that. Loll this post is a mess, goodnight Charlie!! I love you!
#I'd been having the same dream over and over too#like seeing the same events#It was a stranger things dream#were like we (me and somebody I don't know but at some point it was wybie from Coraline) were tearing through a fabric wall with chainsaws#and a demogorgon- like creature ended up cut apart because of it#and the reveal of the creature being split from both sides was one thing that kept repeating#just at some points in the dream I came back to the image of it without the fabric wall#just falling after it's died#also there was another part#were at first (this one detail happened only once compared to the other times that it repeated and it wasn't on the first repeat but it's#CHRONOLOGICALLLY the first thing)#there was this sort of enigma?#and the clock showed two specific hours#the riddle thing didn't make sense but like we solved it even though I can't remember specifics#and it was to save a guy#and there was my brother at that point and some lady told him 'oh but you like this kind of roleplaying thing' and he got mad cause#like we were trying to stop some guy from being killed#and the part of the dream that repeated was this thing were like this door thing? or I guess it was just a wooden slate would push me#or somebody else on its own#like it'd press against you to push you towards the bad stuff ™#there was a moment where I put rocks in my bag? to avoid it being flung and moved the same way as the door#bc yeah it was some creature moving the stuff though we never saw it like telepathically#but it didn't really work because the creature wasn't aware of the rocks? and apparently it needed to be aware there were rocks in the bag#also at some point there was one girl in the house we were in (this was during one of the repeats of the dream's storyline)#and she was being voodoo'd around bc the creature was telepathically moving a coraline doll and it would shove her around#and that's all I can really remember#sorry I just woke up from it so it might not make sense#you don't have to read all dat#answered asks
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In our current society (in North America and much of the western world) we can't completely avoid capitalism, but with some work and dedication we can reduce how much we have to participate in it.
Building community is hard, and it often requires a lot of up front investment in time and energy before you start seeing returns on that investment. I know not everyone is in a place where they can make those expenditures without getting anything back right away which is why it's even more important for those of us who can to start building sooner rather than later.
When you have a healthy, thriving community of people you can start withdrawing yourself more and more from reliance on a broken capitalist system. Yes there's mutual aid within a community but what's even more exciting to me is the option of participating in a barter/trade economy because it's so often more empowering for disabled folks and other marginalized groups that struggle in a capitalist economy.
And even more importantly than that, it's how we can survive a political landscape that is openly hostile to us. It's as impossible to avoid the fallout of the current political situation as it is to avoid participating in a capitalist economy, but being part of a strong and healthy community can at least help mitigate some of the harmful effects.
Neighbours sharing produce from their gardens can lessen the chances of food-borne illness as a result of lax food safety regulations.
Creating, maintaining, and sharing resources that help marginalized groups can help protect vulnerable people in your area when the larger resources are being dismantled or when people acting in bad faith are pretending to be a helpful organization.
Communities have more leverage (and resources) when it comes time to put pressure on local government to make progressive changes
As communities grow, empathy and compassion for the people in the community also spreads and that can help create allies against the bigotry and prejudice some of the community members face. When you're in community together with someone it's harder to depersonalize them. They aren't [insert oppressed group] member, they're the person who walks your dog and brings you beets in exchange for piano lessons, or the person who loaned you a spare tire so you could go to work and when you got home that evening they'd fixed your flat tire for free because they had the time and some spare material laying around from a repair they did on their own tire.
It's going to be really easy to give in to despair in the coming months and I'm not going to lie and say you can survive it. Some folks won't. I'm not going to lie and promise if you can make it through that things will get easier, they might not!
But if you can hang on I can promise you there's a chance things will get better, and I can promise you there's a whole heck of a lot of us out there trying to make sure it does get better. I can promise you that building community will help you survive when things start getting harder, and I can promise you that community can be a beacon of light in dark times, a bastion of hope in a desert of despair.
I know you're tired and I'll understand if you can't keep fighting, but I really hope you've got enough resilience left to hang on long enough to find a community to be part of.
#i don't know where I'd be right now without mine#these last few months alone I've had so much help#from people getting me to and from my weekly hospital appointments#to folks helping with my move#either offering their time#or supplies#i had a bunch of people searching for places in my budget#and making lists for me#and even had one person offer to let me use their 40ft trailer/fifth wheel#and the place I ended up living#is building an addition onto their house for me to live in#it's not gonna be a huge space#just under 300 sq ft#but I'll have full use of the rest of the house too#and be paying less in rent than I was even before the rent increase at my shitty apartment#i have people offering to help me do household chores#and people offering to help me fix my car#folks don't have extra cash to help me pay for stuff#but they're happy to offer their labour and time and skills#one friend lent me use of 12 bigbplastic totes to help me move#and another paid for a bunch of uhaul boxes for me#the people I moved in with let me use their 3 horse trailer so I didn't have to pay to rent a van/truck#and I had a bunch of people helping me load up and unload the boxes and furniture#it took a long time to build this community I'm a part of#and it took awhile before I started seeing a return in my investment of time and energy#but it was so#so worth it
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I got a new laptop.
#tss patton#tss virgil#moxiety#so to run down the idea because it burns a hole in my head#Virgil and Patton start dating at like 20 and it's perfect except for one thing#They want completely different futures and long term they couldn't work out#Patton wants a picket fence and kids and a marriage#Virgil isn't mentally here for any of that nor is it something he wants it's stressful and not for him#He wants that one bedroom apartment with a cat and a man who isn't legally attached lifestyle#From the beginning they knew it's a matter of time before they break each other's hearts but two years come and go#they're scared because fuck they fell so deeply in love with who they are#years later Patton moves on gets married to another and lives quietly#But the minute the second he gets to see Virgil again he falls apart because he can't love his husband- not like that#And blah blah High Infidelity Ivy I'd Have to Think About It Becoming the Lastnames Cleopatra Presumably Dead Arm#None of this is shown in the image just the idea that they know their end is coming#hi guys
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😀!!!!
#sorry i need to rant on here i’m going crazy aaaaaaaaaaaa#i’m moving to another city in october and i’ve been trying to figure out everything#bc im going from an apartment that i share with friends and a pretty decent room#to a very little room shared with people i don’t know#(well actually one of my best friends + someone i don’t know)#but figuring out what to do with every single one of my things is driving me crazy!!!#i’m trying to sell everything i don’t use anymore#and i’ve donated A TON of old clothes that i haven’t even thought about in years#i thought about hiring movers but i think is going to be too expensive for the amount of stuff i’m moving#cause it’s not that much#if i had a god damn drivers license i could just rent a car and move everything myself#BUT I CANT DRIVE#i’m gonna try to convince my friend to drive me there and i’ll pay for all the expenses#but idk if she’s gonna say yes so i’m AAAAA#anyways thank you and good nite
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im so scared of the future. i dont know what im going to do with myself. i am not mentally capable of working enough hours to support myself without killing myself. i truly believe that if i lived alone i would burn my house down. i cant work jobs that require a lot of standing or interacting with others. i dont have the autism that makes me good with computers to do something online. i have no idea what im good for. i dont even draw well or often enough to do commissions, and i feel too guilty about not being in a difficult financial situation to even offer them.
i dont know how to apply for disability or what it would even grant me besides tax benefits. one of the questions on the website is for employment status, and the two options are employed and unemployed/seeking employment. i do not think i am capable of working a regular job, and i have no idea what IRregular jobs there might be. i tried reaching out to my school's employment coordinator, and her ONLY advice was to sell my work. i am trying!
maybe it would be different if i felt more direct and specific pressure of a problem to solve and less general pressure to do what im supposed to without knowing what that is. im living with my grandfather and aunt right now, so im not feeling housing pressure. my parents are paying for my education, so im not feeling pressure to pay that back. why do i need that? what is it for? what is my goal? i dont know. i have money from student loans in my bank account paying for my groceries.
i feel like a horse whose ass has been spanked. something is driving me forward, but i dont know what or which direction to run. i have no idea whats coming, and its horrible. i dont know what i want or what i should be doing next, except for 'get a job' which is such a vague instruction that its leaving me spinning my wheels.
i should get a job so i can live alone...but i dont want to live alone. i dont think i CAN live alone, unsupported. what is any of this for??? i start taking steps forward, and im haulted each time by myself asking why? why am i doing this? whats the point? what do i want from this? nothing? i want nothing? im only doing this to satisfy external pressures? then whats the point? cant i just watch movies all day instead? whats the point?
#talking#i dont know!!!!!#i dont know what im doing!!!!!#i do have one want. i want to move to portland to live close to my friends. in a beautiful city. in a timezone that lets me be awake before#noon.#but what the shit am i supposed to do to work towards that? what would my family say if i told them that?#i WOULDNT have any help from them if i did that. i WOULD have to get a job. i would have to figure out how moving to another country even#WORKS>#let ALONE one as hostile as the us let ALONE trying to get DISABILITY.#but its like. the only thing i can think of.#being so far away i have no fucking idea what looking for an apartment or a job would look like.#everything sucks. except no it doesnt! my life is awesome!!!!#my life is so fucking easy!!!#it is CRAZY how priviledged i am and how easy my life is.#and yet every day i think about assisted living or a psych ward(i hit myself for that one. those arent places to fuck around with) because#im struck with the overwhelming feeling that I CANT DO THIS. I CANT DO THIS. WHATEVER EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING? I CANT. I CANT. I CANT DO IT.#I DONT KNOW HOW. SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO DO IT#.
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#so fucking tired. it's another month before i even find out if i qualify for a program that's supposed to help me get a job.#i still have no way to support myself moving into even the cheapest bachelor apartment#I'm so fucking tired. I'm sad. i feel exhausted.#i owe my ex over $1000. i want to pay him back so fucking badly and I'm one step removed from the sidewalk.#I'm so tired.
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God do I wish we weren't scared to exist as a system without judgement. Hi .
#toast notes#from sophie#Might be passive influence idk we need to go to bed ;;#I think more than anything we just want to be believed . And to know every move we make isn't being psychoanalyzed and picked apart#I don't want to have a label put on me or have to act super different from Nemo I just want to EXIST#I don't want to mask I don't want to interrupt conversations#I think I'm starting to become another host which is. Scary. Really really scary.#I don't mean to be super venty or sad I'm not usually like this just!!! Ugghhhhh can I not feel like a person for one second#(none of this is directed at anyone including the other guys in here btw!)#I'd love some reassurance. but I don't know how much good that will do for us#Whateveeeerrr I might delete this later I'm going back to getting ready for bed and thinking about the silly spire#Oh my god I just realized I worded something in here sooo badly if you think something in here sounds weird please ignore it#Brain fog mixed with autism scripts do NOT mix well. We use these wrong so often lol sorry
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i have to tell myself to stop looking for a new place until like.. the 14th bc i cannot move until october & most places want ppl in asap -_-
#my lease ends on oct 31 so im hoping to find a place that does first month free or at least a solid move-in deal#AHH!!! this will be my first time moving from one apartment to another im so stressed#i was not designed to be an adult this is too much for me#renters insurance and security deposit and pet deposit and. and and and.
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sometimes you’re having a normal day. then sometimes you meet someone who worked at norwest
#I swear this is the one thing the fandom is normal about and I unfortunately am not#stay normal (about this specifically). sorry I’m not quite there myself yet. I need to learn how to be a human not just a fan#anyway he also knows someone who dated a band member (he couldn’t remember who) in 2012 from a different context#like. was friends with her when she had to make all her socials private and stuff#anyway apparently this is something everyone in that community just moved on from? apart from the dickhead music teacher#and they moved on bc apparently norwest pulls the weirdest shit all the time. like runs out of money and stuff and tries to rebrand when it#does. caused a whole lot of havoc bc the teachers all got fired and like. they still had their students who needed teachers#anyway I was like. were you there during the Era. when the school was famous#he deadass said which one? thought I was referring to. the norwest is broke saga#which it apparently had another name before. if you’ve read this far you know what 3/4 went through in probably middle school#but anyway the band was far before his time and most of their teachers have left by now apparently#sydney saga
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fuck, audhd burnout is a bitch.
#i can barely move my body without it feeling like a herculean task right now#my arms and fingers and legs feel like lead#my brain wants to do nothing but sleep for eternity#and everything is loud#so loud#i hate knowing i’m in burnout but not being able to do anything about it because im not diagnosed#i know exactly what i need but i cant get it its just out of my reach#and i wonder if i’m going to just self-destruct one day#if i’m going to be stuck in burnout for another three years on top of what feels like has already been a couple years in it#i feel like crying#not a hard cry#i dont even have energy for that#but the type where you sit there staring at nothing#sitting very still whilst tears just fall out of your eyes#i cant speak i dont want to speak i never want to go to school in person again i never want to open my mouth again#i never want to interact with another human being in person ever again apart from a very select few#im so sick of this#and sometimes i wish i could believe in god#any god would be alright#but i cant#thatd be lying to myself#cause i personally simply just do not believe that gods could exist outside of fantasy#but it leaves me with nothing to believe in#and thats tiring in itself#i want to stay on the bus#an empty bus#listening to music as it takes me who knows where#touring the city aimlessly#forever#i think that would fix me
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desire to watch more slay the princess vs fear of horror games. fight
#i watched rtgame's playthrough and i was largely ok. put my hand over the screen for bits of the specter#and i'm not sure i'll ever do wraith tbh i think that one's too much for me. maybe not nightmare#but like. i haven't seen thorn. thorn should be fine. etc#but yeah i know the devs said not to watch playthroughs but consider. i cannot watch this game alone lmao and in this context#a streamer counts as “not alone” haha#i just need another voice....#also my computer chair faces away from the door so FUCK that (i can't move it apartment small furniture heavy)#it is so funny though. normally i avoid horror like the plague bc i know myself#but i saw the stp ''please don't'' art and was like. well. i have to now. this is my brand#(i did pre-read the trigger guide and google as necessary to not completely be freaked out though)#txt
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got sad abt fawn’s little motel room again 😞
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#we were thinking abt it in canon but then thought abt it in v3/v3au so. now we have to talk abt those#themmy who gets to be the first to get invited over. it takes a bit to build up to it and then even after they all think they’re ready#it takes another few days to actually Work Up To It. themmy gets first pick bc they’re the least intrusive of the group#the ortegas are close to the group ofc but they are nosy and pushy but this is The Becker’s space. so they get told no when they ask#if they can tag along. (they ofc get approval later after a few times of themmy getting to visit#bc 1. they won’t stop asking but 2. they’re more comfortable w the permitted intrusion that they get a test run)#honestly I feel like one of the ortegas would offhandedly ask Whose room it is (bc they expect them each to have their own)#and the siblings are like no it’s Ours. plural. and then the topic gets dropped bc they’re skittish enough already they won’t push more rn#ohhh the besties giving them little house warming gifts to help spruce the place up but next time they go over it still looks just as plain#except u ask ‘hey what happened to [xyz]?’ and they retrieve it from wherever it’s squirreled away#solo!survivor au…. imagine having to go back to the motel room alone for the first time#you know where the traces of your siblings are hidden. but they aren’t in immediate sight so it feels so Empty.#digging out all of their belongings just to have them closer to you even if it goes against everything you’ve all done this whole time#maybe you don’t stay alone. maybe you invite an ortega over. maybe you invite both.#maybe they show up with a bottle of wine each and none of you say anything bc you don’t know what you even would#maybe they help you pack up everything to move apartments. maybe you don’t let them touch anything. maybe them just being there is enough
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gonna get real into icarus iconography and decorations because oh baby am i flying too close to the sun
#my relatives and coworkers are like ‘oooh you’ve moved out this is so exciting and you’re doing so many cool things!’#and i’m like ‘haha yeah’ as if i’m not one schedule change away from shaving my head and deciding to live underground forever#i have chemistry (notoriously difficult class) and my job and the study i’m working on in my free time and free time goes to studying#or just desperately white knuckling stability#there were some plans i thought were hypothetical but i didn’t realise that they were apparently not until halfway through today#and I’m not back in town this weekend because another event changed so i decided to not come back and just take this weekend#because i need to get more used to my apartment#but i am just. incredibly stressed. and absolutely doing too much.#vent tw
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Kakashi's home at any point after Sakumo died had always been decorated by other people. plants, furniture, and decorations had been gifted to him, mostly by Naruto, Gai, or Yamato.
#naruto headcanons#hatake kakashi#i dont know how many times hes moved apartments and such but it seems like at least three times#four myabe in boruto#he had the one we see him wake up from nightmares thay he had at least during his anbu years#one he lived in through pt 1 which may or may not be the same apartment since all we see is his room really#and another after peins invasion since the whole village got destroyed and had to be rebuilt#his first mentioned apartmwnt was decorated by team minato#his second mentioned apartment had the same stuff and more from Gai Naruto and Yam#and the last one is the same
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