#mourns bad things with me
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claim your “I was a Lewis Pullman fan before Thunderbolts” ticket here! (in case he blows up in popularity any more than he might have after things like TGM and Lessons in Chemistry…)
#tea talks#lewis pullman#top gun#top gun maverick#bob floyd#miles miller#bad times at the el royale#outer range#rhett abbott#etc.#mcu#thunderbolts#sentry#sentry thunderbolts#harrison press play#calvin evans lessons in chemistry#owen taylor the starling girl#lefty/righty#major major catch-22#luke the strangers prey at night#(and too many other things for me to list)#I was so obssesed with him right after tgm came out (still kinda am) but prob started hyperfixating on smth else a couple months later#danny ramirez too ugh the man you areeee#monica barbaro my queen#manny jacinto as fritz… my darling you deserved more time ur so pogi#kara wang as halo… also robbed.#AND RAYMOMO. RAYMOND LEE. YALE. UGH.#I’m still mourning can you tell#rip my asian representation ig 😒#atta boy band
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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So we know that Wei Wuxian's treatment after his death was horrible. Even if nothing could impact him directly, there was still neverending slander, hatred, misinformation, theft...
But, for a while after he died, the sects did try to impact him directly – namely, frequently trying to resummon his soul. And today I'll explore the possible reasons for this, their likelihoods, and why I'm so, so thankful that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the summons. Because, spoiler alert (or, you know. maybe not)... none of them are good.
(Long meta ahead)
In my opinion, there are four likely motivations for this: confinement, coercion, torment, and potentially destruction.
Out of all of these, confinement is probably the most likely motivation, at least for most sects (Jins and Jiangs excluded, though it was likely what the Jin sect said their motivations were – but I'll get to them later). This one is the most simple – we know spirit-trapping pouches exist, and we know the sects also placed 120 stone beasts on the Burial Mounds to prevent Wei Wuxian's soul from escaping. Therefore, this seems to be the most likely motivation – and fortunately for Wei Wuxian, probably also the best case scenario, though it still certainly isn't a good one.
For the second, coercion – this is where the Jin sect come in (more specifically Jin Guangshan with the help of Jin Guangyao). Due to their wealth and resources, they're likely the sect who played the largest role in the soul-summoning rituals. We know what they're willing to do to try to gain power – keeping Wen Ning under the pretence he was burned to death and trying to control him with the nails, and working with and helping Xue Yang torture people to help him refine his demonic cultivation, in order to have the Yin hufu fixed. Along with working with many other cultivators, alongside Xue Yang – Jin Guangshan really, really wanted that seal.
And so, Jin GuangShan sought after all those who imitated Wei WuXian in cultivating the ghostly path and gathered them under his rule. He spent a great amount of money and resources and these people, ordering them to study and analyze the structure of the Tiger Seal in secrecy so that they could replicate and restore it. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
(Note that working with these cultivators very likely happened after Wei Wuxian's soul had failed to be summoned, since this happens some time after Wei Wuxian's death, whereas the soul-summoning ceromonies presumably started happening very close to it.)
In the previous paragraph, he's also quoted as having 'lusted after' the Yin hufu, which we already knew but it's nice to have a direct quote as evidence.
Now, would Wei WuXian willingly work with the Jin sect in doing this? No. We know that, and, given Wei Wuxian's actions in his first life (refusing to hand over the Tally, not being afraid to stand up to the sects, etc), I’m pretty sure Jin Guangshan knows that, too:
He beat around the bush a couple of times, using all his skills, yet Wei WuXian didn’t give in no matter what, and it made him run into a bunch of obstacles. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
So this could actually make things go two ways. One, I'm wrong and that wasn't actually part of the Jin sect's motivations, since they know they wouldn't be able to control him (and in that case, had they managed to summon him, I could imagine them putting him in a spirit-trapping pouch and doing something similar to what Jin Guangyao did to Nie Mingjue's head. Which, also, not good). Two, it was a part of their motivations, and they hoped to find a way around that. After all, there are other guidao users out there now, and Wei Wuxian would now be a gui*. Also, cultivators can obviously harm ghosts – see the very existence of Night Hunts, and I'd include Xue Yang's talisman-caused destruction of A-Qing as well (while he isn't a traditional cultivator, talismans can be used by everyone).
Now, would either of these methods actually work? I'm inclined to think not really (and I expand on the former method in a note below). Would that stop Jin Guangshan/Jin Guangyao/the cultivators they employ from trying? Especially considering Jin Guangshan's lust for power?
I'm inclined to think no, too.
For the third, look no further than Jiang Cheng's reputation of capturing and torturing demonic cultivators after Wei Wuxian's death, due to thinking they could be him. And this does happen – Jin Ling knows and talks about it, and there's not real motivation for him to negatively lie about someone he loves. Also, when they come across each other at Dafan Mountain, we're told this in Jiang Cheng's inner voice:
A moment ago, Jiang Cheng was certain that this person was Wei WuXian, and all of the blood in his body started to boil. Yet, now, Zidian was clearly telling him that he wasn’t. Zidian definitely wouldn’t deceive him or make a mistake, so he quickly calmed himself and thought, this doesn’t mean anything. I should first find an excuse to take him back and use every possible method to get information out of him. It’s impossible for him to not confess anything or give himself away. I’ve done things like this in the past anyways. - MDZS Chapter 10, EXR translation
This mainly shows that he's tortured people before, rather than that he's tortured people because he thinks they're Wei Wuxian, but this reason is confirmed by Jin Ling in Chapter 24. Of course, the reason is also mentioned in this chapter, and there are other moments in the chapter that illustrate my point better**, but they come from second-hand sources which I know are easier to deny. Do take note of Jiang Cheng's expression both times he comes across 'Mo Xuanyu' (after he suspects he's Wei Wuxian) in Book One***, though:
After a moment, the corners of Jiang Cheng’s lips pulled into a twisted smile. His left hand started to unconsciously stroke the ring [Zidian] again. He spoke softly, “… Well, well. So you’re back?” - Chapter 10, EXR Although his face had always been clouded, marked with arrogance and satire, it seemed as if every corner of it had come alive. It was difficult to determine whether it was vengeful wrath, fathomless hatred, or raving ecstasy. - Chapter 23, EXR
This does seem to line up with what people say his attitude to Wei Wuxian is – there doesn't seem to be any happiness at seeing him again at all. The only time a word that could suggest that ('ecstasy') is used, it's accompanied by 'raving', and considering the context and the other possibilities of his expression, it's... probably not due to happiness at being reunited.
So, considering 1) this, 2) his contribution to the Siege specifically intended to kill Wei Wuxian, and 3) that at the time of frequent soul-summoning Jiang Yanli's death would be even closer for him, I feel pretty confident in saying that yes, this is likely a motivation for the Jiang sect in trying to re-summon Wei Wuxian's soul after his death. And, as mentioned earlier, cultivators can harm ghosts (and we know Zidian is able to remove souls posessing a body from that body, and that Jiang Cheng used Zidian on 'Mo Xuanyu' in Chapter 10. If it wasn't able to restrain/harm ghosts, or other methods weren't able to, why would he risk Wei Wuxian's soul escaping?).
And finally, option four: destruction. We're heading into much more speculative territory here, so don't consider this on par with the first three. But consider this:
We know there are some spells, like Xue Yang's talisman used on A-Qing and the body-offering ritual, that can ruin the returning soul’s reincarnation cycle by destroying it. Therefore, soul destruction is possible.
The 'main'/supposed reason for summoning Wei Wuxian's soul back is to stop the "cultivation world, or even all of mortal land" from being "faced with the most insane damnation and revenge, sinking into nothing but chaos and despair" when Wei Wuxian inevitably returns. While, as mentioned above, I severely doubt this is the motivation for certain sects – and to me is likely a rumour which the Jins (again, especially Jin Guangsha) fanned the flames of to justify summoning Wei Wuxian back for their own purposes**** – there are other sects which would take it more seriously.
Although likely disrespectful, people already thought it served Wei Wuxian right to die without his body intact by the time of the second siege – something believed to negatively affect your reincarnation in your next life*****. This is only the logical next step, and I'm pretty sure the vast majority of people would believe that, again, it would serve Wei Wuxian right, or would at least lead to less harm of the world in the long run.
For these reasons, I could definitely see this as an option for some sects, especially the sects who consider themselves more 'righteous' (cough cough the Nies under Nie Mingjue cough cough). After all, evil is evil and good is good, and the evil deserve what's coming to them. And what better way to prevent that than from preventing his soul from returning at all? So for the Nie sect – and likely some of the smaller sects involved in the Siege, since among them, additudes probably vary – yes, I do think it could be a motivation.
I’m not as sure about the Lans being willing to go this far, and that’s largely for two reasons. One, Lan Wangji’s presence and his relationship to Lan Xichen, who does (not always, but he does) let this affect how he treats Wei Wuxian. An example of this is that, when Wei Wuxian's return is made public, Lan Xichen does let him hide and shelter at the Cloud Recesses instead of trying to pursue him, likely majorly due to Lan Wangji. I'd argue that the aftermath of the Nightless City also acts as an example of this, although it definitely isn't perfect. But though he, Lan Qiren and the 33 elders do come to find Lan Wangji and do not let him continue to shelter Wei Wuxian (after they see Lan Wangji's feelings), Lan Xichen doesn't use this opportunity to kill/capture Wei Wuxian, despite Lan Wangji being in a worse condition due to having fought 33 elders, Wei Wuxian being catatonic, and Lan Qiren likely supporting this outcome (especially considering he was the one who led the Lan sect in the Siege – chapter 68, Wei Wuxian's POV). And he did let Lan Wangji take Wei Wuxian back to the Burial Mounds after:
After he went out of his way to send you back to Burial Mound and returned in such low spirits to receive his punishment, how long he kneeled before the Wall of Rules! - Chapter 99, EXR
Again, this was right after the Nightless City massacre – there isn't any goodwill towards Wei Wuxian at this point in time.
Of course, the Lan sect did participate in the siege after Lan Xichen knew of Lan Wangji's feelings towards Wei Wuxian, which Lan Xichen was no doubt a part of (although Lan Qiren lead the Lan sect in the siege, Lan XIchen had to have at least known/given his support, if not participated.) And it should be considered that Lan Xichen letting Wei Wuxian shelter at the Cloud Recesses was after Wei Wuxian had been back for a while, and had not caused the downfall of the Cultivation World, like many suspected he would after his death. And of course, as stated previously, his handling of the aftermath of Nightless City wasn't perfect either (though please note that his main motive here was to protect Lan Wangji from being potentially executed, rather than anything about Wei Wuxian himself). So caring about Lan Wangji doesn't mean he won't harm Wei Wuxian. But I do think he could find bringing Wei Wuxian's soul back to completely destroy it a bit excessive. There is, though, the chance that the elders of the Lan Sect would react to this differently, and of course they would have a sway on both Lan Xichen and the Lan sect as well.
The second reason is smaller, but there seems to be more focus in the Lan sect than in others when it comes to letting ghosts rest peacefully/helping them move on. And that could definitely lead to more resistance to the idea of summoning a soul back to destroy it as well, which could especially impact the elders. So I'd assume that the Lan sect would be the most likely sect to summon Wei Wuxian's soul back just for confinement, or just for some way of making sure any resentment is disippated, his spirit moves on, and he can't cause more harm to the world (eg via Inquiry)******. Not that he would or does as a ghost or as a reborn person, but that's unfortunately not relevant to this.
But yes, as a motivation for the Nie Mingjue-led Nie sect? Absolutely.
So, these are the main motives I suspect to be behind the attempted summoning of Wei Wuxian's soul after his death (and if I've missed any, please let me know – I'd love to have a discussion). And, of course, none of them lead to anywhere good. Because of course it wasn’t enough to besiege Wei Wuxian, murder the 50 non-combatants he was responsible for (and throwing them into the blood pit as a mark of disrespect because why not?), and lead to his death via him getting torn apart. It wasn’t enough to steal all his inventions, and use them commonly while still slandering him with no reprieve – or to steal his notes and give them to people like Xue Yang to study (Villainous Friends, again) and to use for their own, extremely extremely harmful, purposes. Of course, the cultivation world has to try to harm Wei Wuxian after death as well ((:
We don't know whether Wei Wuxian rejecting the summoning ceremonies was conscious or unconscious, but if it was the former, these are very likely reasons he refused to return in this way. If it was unconscious – for example, maybe during the frequent soul-summons his soul was in a weakened state due to him dying from a backlash of resentful energy and getting torn apart, and it healed over time but not before the soul-summoning rituals stopped – well, I can only be thankful.
Finally, let me leave you on the thought that – although it may well have happened since we don't spend much time in the immediate aftermath of the Sunshot campaign – there isn't even any textual mention of this happening to Wen Ruohan. Who, while not being a guidao user, was still very dangerous, still an extremely powerful cultivator, and still had a lot of reason to feel resentment. So.
:')
Thank you for reading!
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*Considering what we see of how Wei Wuxian's guidao functions – redirecting the ghosts'/corpses' resentment into doing something they'd want to do, eg attacking people, and directing it towards a target – I'm not sure using it to force a spirit to do something 1) extremely specific, and 2) explicitly against their will would actually work. Iirc the closest thing we get to this in text is Wei Wuxian using the corpses of Wens to attack other Wens in the Sunshot Campaign, but he's still just directing their resentment to a target of his choice, and fierce corpses do tend to be on the less concious side of things (hence why Wei Wuxian had to awaken Wen Ning's consciousness). Considering how Wen Ning attacks Wei Wuxian and the Burial Mound Wens before his consciousness had fully awoken, I... really don't think those fierce corpses were able to differentiate (or didn't care).
Meanwhile, ghosts seem to be a bit more in control of themselves – see A-Qing, and Wei Wuxian's own descriptions of his ghost self.
That, alongside ghost!Wei Wuxian being able to resist his soul-summoning and the fact that pretty much all of the new guidao users are a lot weaker than he was, does make me think that this this wouldn't work. I do wonder about Xue Yang, since his methods are pretty different as well, but he's more of a modao user than a guidao user (he controls living corpses rather than dead people) and I don't think you can insert physical nails into ghosts?? Though if he was specifically instructed to figure out some way to control ghost!Wei Wuxian (who's probably kept in a spirit-trapping pouch in this scenario), he might be able to do something at least. Though also he was also struggling to piece Xiao Xingchen's ghost soul back together, so he may struggle with those areas?
Well, whatever the potential outcome, I'm so so happy once again that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the soul-summonings...
**Mainly this:
Everyone in the cultivation world knew that the young leader of the Jiang Clan watched out for Wei WuXian in an almost crazed manner. He would rather catch the wrong person than let go of any possibility, and took anyone who seemed like they held the soul of Wei WuXian away to the YunmengJiang Sect, inflicting severe torture on his victim. If he wanted to take someone back, the opposition would surely lose half of their life. - Chapter 10, EXR
But I have heard people say 'you can't prove that it's just more rumours' before, and I wanted my evidence to be as watertight as possible.
(And, off-topic... isn't it really sad how Jiang Cheng, in the present day, is described as young? Because, for a clan leader, he is. And another thing he is, is close in age to Wei Wuxian – who was killed 13 whole years prior :') )
***And do note that the only other time they run into each other before Wei Wuxian's identity is revealed to the world apart from this is their brief interaction at Jinlintai, where he can't just act however he wants. The next time they run into each other after it, Jiang Cheng is literally taking part in another siege against him, and still extremely hostile ("surrounded by hostile energy, face insidious, staring straight at him" – from EXR chapter 60). Then he loses his spiritual powers and can't do anything. By the time he regains his powers, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and the Wen remnants' corpses have saved everyone during the Second Siege, and though public opinion hasn't properly shifted quite yet, it will soon after Sisi and Bicao tell the story of Jin Guangyao, and voila, a new scapegoat (do note that he doesn't completely bar Wei Wuxian from entering Lotus Pier after the Second Siege, though). Plus, throughout it all, Lan Wangji is still constantly present, which makes it hard for Jiang Cheng to really do anything. And then he's finally faced with the Golden Core reveal, which does alter his motivations towards Wei Wuxian (obviously the resentment is still there – read chapter 102 – but it's also mixed with other complex emotions, and he seems to start being able to move away from that a little in Chapter 103). I still definitely wouldn't describe Jiang Cheng's attitude towards him as positive, but it isn't at the point it was at the start of the novel (eg Chapter 10).
But even if his attitude does change, or would for whatever other reason apart from the reveal, that still doesn't change an initial motivation so isn't relevant to this meta. We know his intentions at the start.
****It's also possible they may have originated it, but I think WWX's reputation was bad enough for it to form naturally. Though you can trace a major part of that back to them, too.
*****That belief isn't outright stated in MDZS, but the fact people are specifically talking about the status of WWX's body in the aftermath of his death suggests that this belief does have some grounding in the MDZS universe, at least? And we know MXTX has included it in TGCF (though that doesn't mean it's definitely in MDZS), so she has used it in her works. If this isn't the case in the MDZS universe I am sorry (although that could also mean there's less importance placed on not disturbing the reincarnation cycle in the world of MDZS...? Which would work towards my original argument) – I don't want to spread misinformation that something is definitely true, I just think there's evidence to suggest it is true, which isn't the same thing.
******Again, I think this would depend on who ends up having more influence over who in the Lan sect. After all, normal resentful spirits only do what they do because of their resentment in death, whereas Wei Wuxian is 'dangerous' because of who everyone thinks he was in life – so him being reborn naturally could also 'cause a lot of harm to the world' during the time period this version of him would live in, unlike the resentful ghosts they appease. This could definitely lead to many advocating for confinement, I think.
#writing this takes me back to my nie huaisang one#'detective metas' i'd call both of them#as opposed to analysis of characters or themes#it may be less 'meaningful' but it's still fun to explore and speculate within a world you love#...albeit maybe not for this one because. mdzs jianghu when i get my hands on you-#also i fully acknowledge i may be wrong#but again i'd love to have discussions about these! debates and knowledge exchange are what leads to better understanding of source materia#which is a major goal of mine in writing these#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs cultivation world#long post#mo dao zu shi#gdc#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#魔道祖师#mxtx#detective meta#<– if i ever make this a tag#also i feel like you could write a fic (angsty or not so angsty depending on where you go with it) where the lan sect somehow-#-summons ghost!wwx back (not sure how bc the jin and jiang sects would probably want 'custody' of him more - and i don't think summoning-#-rituals are done by just one sect at a time? but imagine it happens) and idk he's kept in a spirit-trapping pouch or sth#lwj probably isn't told bc of what happened after nightless city - elders can't really trust him in matters to do with wwx#but maybe lxc feels bad for him or sth (especially bc he's mourning him and stuff + what happened after he found out wwx was dead)#and tells him and maybe brings wwx's soul to him for a bit so wwx can respond to inquiry#and they talk and obv. wwx is NOT happy with the situation (both rn and yk bc of the VERY RECENT SIEGE)#but but but! the thing that would stop this being completely depressing is that LWJ HAS A-YUAN SO WWX FINDS OUT HE SURVIVED#also lwj's injuries would likely come up at SOME point which would lead to wwx finding out abt nightless city afermath#AA NOO THE TAGS WENT ON FOR SO MUCH LONGER BUT I GUESS TUMBLR DOESN'T ALLOW SO MANY i'll have to make another post...
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I love that even with all the lengths Stronghart went through to hide Kazuma's identity (using a mask to hide his eyes and a cloak to cover everything else, banning him from even speaking), the minute Ryunosuke saw him for the first time he suspected it. From his posture alone, they knew each other for about a year and were separated for like eight months and Ryunosuke could still identify his bbf from the way he stood like... Kazuma lost his memory, his identity, his... everything and Ryunosuke still clocked it, even though he literally thinks Kazuma is dead, that the prosecutor's masked apprentice is the whole reason he's even there at all.
Literally what else could Stronghart have done to hide Kazuma's presence from Ryunosuke, he did as much as he could but still Ryunosuke felt it immediately. This feels gayer than most of the yaoi I've come across, this is a major plot point in a romantic drama, this can't not be a trope in one of the kdramas my dad likes to watch on Netflix.
#I feel like if Ryunosuke was like 10% less busy he would've figured it out completely#he just has things to deal with...#also i love how he really wants to be a lawyer now when at the start of the series he was Not Into It#he did it for kazumas dream and bc he didn't want to let susato down and ruin the trip for her#but now hes fully intending on getting his own lawyer certifications and planning to wear both his own and Kazumas armbands#he started out so aimless but now he's found the thing he wants to be and its so nice#anyway barok has homosexual feelings for that mad scientist guy and I know we're supposed to feel bad for him bc his brother was 'killed'#but i dont really feel it yet#he needs to be nicer to me#i do love how worried Ryunosuke was for him after the attack that was kinda cute#they have the opposite views being 'just bc you're an asshole doesn't mean I think you should die' and 'i wont mourn the wicked'#also Ryunosuke being so convinced about the reapers curse is fascinating to me... it gives me ideas for my phoenix!Naruhodos au#andromeda plays tgaa#andromeda plays#asoryuu
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[zombie au] finally a full colored piece of the gang (and also a fun b&w version)
#qkdraws#id in alt#zombie au#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#ritsu kageyama#mp100 ritsu#tome kurata#mp100 tome#shigeo kageyama#mp100 shigeo#mp100 mob#blood#tw guns#(don't hold a gun like that.)#told u he's bad at trigger discipline. ritsu get ur fucking finger off that trigger ur gonna shoot ur foot#another tiny thing abt this au that makes me sad: ritsu makes sure when looting for clothes that he gives mob the stuff that fits him#and ritsu wears the bigger oversized stuff. on all accounts it'd prolly make more sense to give mob the stuff that doesn't fit him#since ? he's a zombie and doesn't rly give a shit abt what he's wearing.he barely notices he has a jacket on at all#but ritsu wants him to be comfy even if mob himself doesn't rly Notice ?#idk he feels bad giving himself anything that's Better than what mob gets#the kid always feeds mob first. when he finds soap he always washes mob's hair first instead of his own#always gives him water first whenever they find it#mob is always taken care of First ritsu is an afterthought even to himself#ritsu kiddo ya gotta take care of urself too . ritsu .oh god he can't hear us he's too busy mourning
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Either Ivan knows how to cry on command or he is actually the worlds biggest crybaby in disguise, and his tears are naturally so minuscule. He’s not a big crier
His little baby teardrops 😭
#alien stage#alnst ivan#alien stage ivan#alnst#I find it interesting. He could be doing it to get sympathy when he’s with Till but—what if he’s just that much of a baby#Hmm#its very silly to me#It works though…I feel a little bad seeing him so pathetic#ivan alnst#Yes ivan is hard at emotions. but instinct is a hard thing to surpass even for his condition. id like to think he developed it as a skill#since most situations. things wouldnt get to him. so for example when he'd be at a funeral he needs to learn to look mournful. at times whe#its normal having the ability to just cry when you want is useful#but for scenes like black sorrow#i think it's all genuine. you cant fake that kind of expression.
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currently yearning in a way only boys can
#yes i’m still thinking abt song of achilles it ripped out my heart#but also idk if this is a universal experience#but sometimes i feel like i mourn the fact that i didn’t get to experience childhood as a boy#like getting to be rough and lanky and awkward and soft and strong and all the things it’s okay for boys to be#like not that it’s ‘bad’ for girls to be that obviously#and i still tried to#but i feel like it came less naturally and alienated me#like i just want to be feminine in the way boys are???? if that makes sense#and i’m sad that i never got to have the experience of growing up as a boy and falling in love and all the things that came with that#and i get this almost like . jealousy when i think of it#it’s like this hot anger but i think it’s really just grief#IDKKKK WOOF SORRY FOR RAMBLING HAHAHAHHAHAA#anyways idk if this is universal but!!!!! i’m gonna go think abt my doomed gay lovers#(aka reread song of achilles)#LOVE YOU ALL HOPE YOURE HAVING A GOOD DAY!!!!!!!#q speaks
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Holding out hope that the writing in veilguard will get more bearable but rook saying to lucanis that it's "not nice that Spite hurt him" and he "shouldn't accept that it’s fine bc it wouldn't be ok if a person did that" like. That is a demon. Built off a single emotion called SPITE. Rook I am finding it really hard to believe that u have lived in thedas for more than 30 seconds.
#wow the demons which are one of the consistently evil forces in these games did something bad#hey players do you know that that was not nice#ok thank you. do u think I am 4#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#also grinding my gears that everyone (including dalish elves???) just immediately accept the evanuris are evil/have come back#like the first person to not immediately believe it is the first warden and honestly he is the only character so far I respect#like maybe if this was like inquisition and a huge hole in the sky/rifts opened everywhere#but it seems like nothing like that happened but everyone somehow magically knows about the ritual and instantly believes everything rook sa#the more I think about these things the more annoyed I get#guys did you know being a leader means u sometimes need to make hard decisions... varric taught me that in my ma15+ game#i am enjoying the combat at least lol and I like Bellara and want to see Babylon so I'm in it for the long haul#why does everyone have a gun to their head making them nice though like it's so painfully out of place sometimes#and being able to only say the same thing but in a slightly boring slightly funny or slightly serious way is driving me insane#like I seem to be the only one who had no problem w the limits on dialogue in inquisition but this is driving me insane#Mourn watch rook what if you were somehow boring and nice. yay thank you bioware#ALSO rook stop talking and forming opinions without me getting to choose what u say like no I don't want u to day we have to save that perso#ok I swear I'm done now.. I need to go back to writing my thesis instead of grinding my teeth about this game#this is all coming from an inquisition enjoyer as well (sorry) but like so far I have found nothing I enjoyed about inquisition in this game#maybe if the inquisitor and Ghilan'nain are cool latee on I can focus on that (big maybe)#I am only early on still (just met first warden) so there is still time... i guess..
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"The rift between him and his brother and sister has sort of widened and widened and whereas he's trying to be all mature and get over it, Neil [Jordan] was always keen on Juan coming back different and secure and grounded. That’s how I wanted to play it when he came back. He's spent the entire first series being picked upon and bullied by the family. I think the shock of Lucrezia actually manning up and trying to kill him had a huge effect as well. He’s growing and maturing. If there’s one aspect of Juan that never changes throughout both seasons is he always does what it true inside him. From where Juan stands he sees the hypocrisy in the family, how they can do one thing and say another. As far as Juan is concerned he's always had the best interests of the family at heart." — David Oakes.
#david's insights are music to my ears#it's always crying over juan borgia hours#this is so funny because like..he LOVES lucrezia and cesare and is trying to make peace with them but they're so petty and hate his ass bad#favorite dysfunctional family fr#the thing that upsets me about all this is juan had never had any intent to hurt his family but his misguidance made them hate him#and like no one will ever get how much he loved them they all ended up dancing on his grave. no one mourned him but his dad#david oakes#juan borgia#the borgias#the borgia siblings#perioddramaedit#cinemapix#tvarchive#weloveperioddrama#cesare borgia#lucrezia borgia#dailytvfilmgifs#about juan#theborgiasedit#by jen
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what bothers me about horde prime, more than his lazy characterization or his lack of impact on the narrative, is the fact that he is such a bad representation of a cult leader. like,, this is not how cults work. they don’t just insert a chip into you and make you follow their every directive like a robot. real life cults are a lot more terrifying because they use manipulation as a tactic to convince people to join them. it’s not a digital chip that you can remove from your system and suddenly you’re in complete control of yourself. cult survivors have talked about how hard it is to actually unlearn that mindset and start thinking for themselves, how many years it takes to stop feeling guilty for leaving their cult or seeing the toxicity in the leaders they so religiously followed.
sure, hordak and catra have some trauma tied to their experience with horde prime, but most of that is because of the physical torture they went through, rather than their experience of being brainwashed. and it’s fine if horde prime was just some villain and not a genocidal cult leader. but it’s clear that he was written to be a religious authority figure, the execution is just so off.
i know he’s a character in a fantasy world, so he had to use his powers for something. but instead of turning people into robots, he could have shown them a “better world” through his tech, talked them into joining him and forgetting about all their current worries, and then used them as weapons against etheria.
it would have been a lot more impactful and angsty if catra had willingly joined horde prime’s cult so that she could repress her guilt. in fact, it would have been really interesting if horde prime had convinced catra that he would help her repend for all that she did, if she joined his cult. this would have been a lot more comparable to religious guilt and trauma in real life, and it would show that catra actually felt bad for what she did, instead of just looking sad for a while and then continuing to be a shitty person anyway.
#everyday i mourn the character horde prime could have been#he could have actually been representative of toxic religious figures who push unhealthy mindsets#instead of being all “heehee you love adora dont you” he could have been like#“i sense guilt. you’ve done a lot of horrible things and you want to take it all back but you can’t. at least you think you can’t.#but if you join me you can repend for all your sins. dedicate yourself to me and i’ll make sure you’ll never feel like a bad person again.”#and it sounds like escapism because it is#halfway through catra begins to realize this and she has to choose between repressing her guilt#and actually allowing herself to feel guilty so that she can work on being better#and instead of having adora rescue her catra rescues herself by making a hard decision#but alas#spop critical#spop salt#spop#spop discourse#spop criticism#she ra#anti spop#tw religious guilt#tw religious trauma#tw religion#tw cult
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hi oomfs! it's been a while.
felt the urge to log in here again because i was hit by a sudden bout of nostalgia (in the middle of a quarter life crisis because i am growing old but i still feel so young blablabla all that good stuff)
fyi, i'm now 24... time sure flies. i think the last time i was consistently active here was halfway through high school when i was 15-16. now i have a degree in public health and i'm already halfway through med school. that's insane.
wondering how many of you from back then are still here. how has everyone been? i hope you're all doing good :)
#ocean.txt#i'm so bad at keeping in touch w/ ppl unfortunately#i've been reconnecting w/ things i used to love and i remembered this blog still exists#i used to spend hours a day making edits for this blog or writing fanfiction and poetry#kinda sad to admit that younger me was much better at all those creative pursuits than present me#the ironic thing is my old laptop was a dinosaur... now i have a better laptop but i do nothing on it except study#i love what i'm doing now but at the same time i'm mourning for my past self if that makes sense
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Saw a cute mourning dove today 🕊️🎀
#oc#delete later#probably#to commemorate I reposted old art of Mikhail also a mourning dove#and I kept watch about 20 minutes#it was alone and I thought it’d leave sooner#maybe it’s a good omen since things have been so bad and stagnant for me lately#I’m surprised at its resilience#especially while foraging for food in the yard
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Some art of them i made that I never finished or posted
ranging from april 2023 to the fred I drew just a few days ago
Thak you guys, you made the qsmp what it was
i might go through and post all the traditional stuff too
#art#my art#rory does shit#qsmp#i might still finish the fred#but it will probably be a bit#watching the qsmp and the eggs got me through a really bad spot last year#i hope the best for them#server isn't ending#but things are changing#and you can mourn that
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Voted for Bumble bc of course but also if you think Alex would not pspsps Bumble you are wrong. If they could communicate they would go to therapy together /s
If then could communicate they would go to therapy together
/GEN
Kyle/Green Lantern resurrects her but then he becomes convinced that she's not the same person she was before the incident, OR SOMETHING SOMETHING Black Lanterns aren't ACTUALLY bad they're just misunderstood Grim Reaper types, in either case Alex ends up breaking it off with Kyle because they've become very different people.
And then Bumble's there
And then they go to therapy or Alex adopts Bumble, and then uhhh Bumble's like one of the superpets. Like Krypto the Superdog. Free premise go forth and play with it if ur a DC fan
#bone babble#Again I don't actually know a lot about the DC universe besides what my friend tells me#But also from reading into the Black Lanterns having them be evil sound like a WHOLE wasted opportunity#Lanterns are supposed to be emotions yeah? so why the hell are we downplaying the emotion of GRIEF?#There's a whole lot you could do with that actually. Death doesn't deserve to just be a villain of the week#And hell. You could explore some WILD emotions here about Alex becoming so much more than Kyle's tragedy#Can I still mourn you when you aren't dead?#What does it mean for me that the worst thing that ever happened to me has become an opportunity for her?#And... does this make me selfish for not being happy for her?#For not trying to understand the person she has become? for only thinking of how this impacts myself#RE: THIS IS NOT A DIG AT DC FANS#BUT I want to share that like... a reason I've kinda had a hard time getting into comics is because like... really interesting premises--#like that often get turned into Monster-of-the-Week struggles for the heroes to punch into submission#I've probably just seen really bad summaries or not found the editions that would appeal to me specifically#But it's kinda why the only DC hero I'm really interested in is Superman#Because a lot of his thing is that he's a good GUY#And that creates a lot of interesting moral questions#Like YES he's a good guy. YES he has no ulterior motive. But what if he DID?-- how can EVERYONE ELSE in the universe truly know that-#for sure?#And that's cool and I really like the snippets I've seen especially between him and batman#But anyway. so much fridging and misogyny in the world of comics has kinda turned me away from getting into it#because. VERY often. Misogyny can be... *tied* to a bit of a lack of imagination. Or empathy on behalf of a particular writer#RE: There is good stuff in DC PLEASE understand im not trying to be insulting
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The Echoes of Silence
Word Count: 905 words
Rating: Teen and Up
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Relationship: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Liam Dunbar & Liam Dunbar's Mother
Tags: Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Character Death, Sad Liam Dunbar, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Liam Dunbar Needs a Hug, Good Theo Raeken, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mentions of Cancer, Developing Relationship, Hopeful Ending
Summary: After losing his mom, Liam tries to navigate his grief.
Read on AO3
For the Grief/Mourning space for @badthingshappenbingo. Card under the cut.
#thiam#thiam fanfic#theo x liam#liam dunbar#theo raeken#jenna geyer#character death#grief/mourning#bad things happen bingo#just out here writing through my own grief#don't mind me#tw cancer#teen wolf#teen wolf fanfiction#teen wolf fic
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humble offer of an au instead of (a continuation of) divorced zukka
Zuko fakes his death:
Someone's been trying to assassinate him. It's long after Sokka leaves, and they aren't together. Maybe they had something once, and Sokka always thought they'd end up together, but they aren't together. And he hears word of the fire lord's death all the way back in the water tribe. How there was nothing the Kyoshi Warriors or the palace guard could do, and he was killed.
There are no remains.
He goes to the funeral, and it's this big dramatic ordeal (because they're trying to really hammer in that he's "dead") and Sokka's a mess. A complete and utter mess. He can barely function, and he's angry, especially at Suki, because he doesn't understand how she isn't more upset (she knows Zuko's still alive. She tries to talk to him, but he pushes her away, and they're never able to talk in a private place.) But more than that, he's angry with himself. Because if he hadn't left, he could have saved him. He could have been there. He thought they had a future together, that they couldn't be together now, but someday they would, and that all goes up in smoke.
And then Zuko's alive. They were able to apprehend the mastermind with the guise, and Sokka should be happy, but all he feels is emotions he can't understand. He feels betrayed.
"You were in the water tribe," Zuko said. "I couldn't tell you--"
"You died. You were dead. I-I went to your funeral, I mourned you."
And he wants to be angry, he wants to hit him, to make him feel a fraction of the pain he felt, but he can't hurt him, not ever, and the only thing he can do is crumble at his feet because Zuko is alive.
#death tw#...yes this is partially inspired by middle school me watching bones and having that episode locked and loaded in my memory#anyway in bones i thought the excuse they made for not telling her was stupid so here my reasoning is...distance? idk it kinda falls apart#when sokka arrives for the funeral so if anyone has ideas as to why sokka can't know id love to hear them#or ideas on how to really twist the knife#like maybe this isn't full divorced maybe this is just like they had a fight and sokka left for a little while and reaaally feels guilty#but it was actually because i was thinking of sokka's canon death and how i would love for it to be fake#i really like the idea of zuko mourning him in a completely wrecked room things half burned as he turns away all the guards#zukka#surely there's got to be fic for this. anyone know??#<----i say being very bad at actually sitting and reading fic
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