#motions. i think a lot about him

[overhual]

hi astro as your first meta ask, tell us about the extent of overhaul’s mysophobia, and the physical reactions he might have to contamination!

i'm so glad you asked! the first thing i want to point out is that i use the manga as my reference here, rather than the anime. the anime portrays him breaking out in hives every time unwanted contact happens to him, which isn't really the case.

let's break this down.

to fully understand the extent of his mysophobia, we need to first understand where it comes from. before being abandoned by his father, kai was always rather senstive and fairly sickly. he regualrly caught common colds, flus, whatever was going around that season. that on top of his sensitivity made him a whiny, needy child. that, on top of mental health issues in his father (exaggerated by the loss of kai's mother), kai was abandoned.

trauma and changes to envoirnments can cause ocd to develop in children. the trauma of being abandoned rooted in kai as anxiety, which then fully developed into obsessive compulsive disorder. this wasn't exactly realized at the time, as traumas such as these (on top of being homeless as a child and trying to survive) force you in a constant fight or flight mode. he didn't have the emotional comprehension at the time to really piece together why he started behaving certain ways. though back to my original point, on top of being a naturally sick kid, having no shelter, no source of food, and constantly contaminated, kai was sick - often. a sick kid is a real easy target on the streets for other hungry people. despite being too weak to fight back most of the time, he chose to do so anyway (which ended in more bruises and broken bones than he can count).

that said, from infancy and on, sickness and disease meant bad things for kai. while living on the street, it was something he believed he had to just "deal" with. it became a state of normalcy for him. filth, disease, hunger, and sickness was all he knew. he was trapped in this envoirnment that was out to "get" him.

this outlook began to change when he was taken into the orphanage. after all of these changes and traumas gone through, the ocd really began to take shape. now that kai was fed regularly and had the ability to clean himself, the obsession with germs and sickness specifically, began to really show itself. once you're out of the envoirnment that hurt you for so long, it can be hard, especially for a child, to move beyond it - and when it's all you've known, it can be difficult to bring yourself out of that and feel safe in your current envoirnment. kai's case was exactly that. he started scrubbing himself until his skin ached to almost "prove" to himself that he was clean. he regularly changed his clothes and sheets, and often stole janitorial supplies to routinely clean his space in the orphanage.

as we know, kai wasn't entirely taken off the streets, either. when they were sent to school or played outside, kai was subjected to that filth again, which only heightened his obsession with being home and getting clean. when at the orphange, we see him distance himself from the other kids. when not scrubbing or itching himself, he was reading. when renting books from the library, he always grabbed books related to medical topics, whether this be equipment, picture books, or something about diseases, etc - he studied it. unfortunately for kai, he's incredibly smart, and went through many more books than he should've at his age. this, again, worsened his obsession. to the point where quirks, themselves, were believed to be a sickness.

being taken in by pops was a massive blessing. by then, kai would've needed years of therapy and inpatient treatment to really iron out the worst of his symptoms. however, pops provided him with strict order and routine. kai knew what each day looked like and the envoirnments he could expect to encounter on each day. this, thankfully, eased his anxiety enough to bring him out of his selectively mute state, but not enough to undo all of the "truths" kai had taught himself.

as trust was built between kai and pops, kai was given more freedoms. this is when he starts wearing his black mask and gloves. he also starts arranging his space to be exactly how he envisions. this means fabrics that are less likely to get dirty, surfaces that are easy to clean, and of course, regular cleanings to this room. kai was also given a private education, which meant a faster education in kai's case - and while education is a great thing, it worked to both kai's benefit and against him. the more he learned about germs and sickness and quirks, the more he fixated. this went on to encourage him to pursue medical school.

despite how medical school may have been a henderence to him, since he's constantly around germs in that envoirnment, he actually thrived. he already knew so much going into it, that he excelled at a rapid pace. this is why kai could've been such a good healer. however, the shie hassaikai and his loyalty to pops took priority over it - and so, his obsession won out in the end.

we're talking two decades of an untreated severe case of ocd and mysophobia. i do think that while pops was a blessing for him, the yakuza life was not. being in the yakuza forced kai to do things that triggered his compulsions, and then made them worse with no counseling. all the while, there was stress on kai to one day take pops' place and lead the shie hassaikai - and as we know, stress can heighten compulsions.

by the time we meet him in the story, kai wears a plague mask to "keep out the filth". inside his mask, he has packs of different herbs and petals to filter out germs before air reaches his nose and mouth. we know he takes regular baths to decontaminate himself, and i think he routinely takes these on top of bathing after being dirtied: when he wakes up, when he comes back from an outing (with a change of clothes), and at nighttime. his gloves and masks are regularly switched out, too. he scrubs himself until his body is raw and red, sometimes for hours if he's having a bad episode.

once the head of the hassaikai, their base is kept almost to his standard of cleanliness. he understands it's unrealistic to expect everyone to be as clean as he is, but you better believe that underground base is typically spotless. and its unfortunate that eri, for him, was seen as the solution to this contamination he could never seem to get rid of. in the end, this obsession won kai out of his own humanity.

in regards to touch, his quirk relies on it, so i think it's unlikely that he breaks out in hives every time he touches someone. if its for his cause, he'll hate touch, but he can rationalize it in his mind. this started from a very early age. when his quirk manifested and then used to his benefit (to steal food, to win fights), it was rationalized that he "had" to do it, no matter the consequences to himself or the other person. this game of mental gymnastics to acquaint himself with touch was mastered. by the time he was a teen and then an adult, he had it down. any touch could be justified, no matter how brutal, disgusting, or the duration.

however, when unwanted contact happens to him, he does have reactions. most of the time, it's nausea and anger. the nausea is swallowed down (emetophobic), while the anger is what's acted upon. we see this with magne, and we see it with compress. he loses his cool and acts accordingly. other physical reactions he often has to contamination are a heightened blood pressure, uncontrolled thoughts, feeling his heart racing, hives - occasionally. very similar symptoms one might experience when about to have an anxiety or panic attack. it's imperitive that kai remove himself from the situation to keep that from happening.

his biggest trigger is unknown substances. if he's around something he can't recognize, he either needs to know what it is immediately, or remove himself from it. additionally, he hates the thought of contaminated air. one of the sicknesses he struggled with as a kid was asthama. when exposed to contaiminated air, he will likely suffer from asthmatic symptoms. he'll cough or need an inhaler, but those are mostly psychosomatic symptoms.

but yeah, those are my general thoughts. he's no stranger to wanted touch, but unwanted touch will trigger that fight or flight sense. in short, kai's mysophobia is something he's dealt with as a child, and only worsened by the conditions he grew up in.

[gai-sucks-titties-in-my-basement]

Gai has plummeted from the sky exactly twice in canon, one was his fall after releasing the 8th gate. A serene acceptance of his own end. And the second was off the Tobisachimaru, where Kakashi caught him and they fell hand in hand. Kakashis Story (the book) opens up to Gai I think at his most honest, he is childish and selfish and desperate. He threatens Lee into getting him on a flying boat for absolutely no reason, other than to feel the importance of being one of the first Shinobi to be on it. He is striving for a significance the universe stole from him by allowing him to leave past his prime, his moment with Madara where he was no longer human; but God. Kakashi has spent the entire novel not scrutinizing, but pitying Gai for a lack of understanding of what they have left. But Kakashi, who has lived in the past for nearly his whole life, is met with a woman who lives in that same war; who’s leaking grief out onto Kakashi the entire novel. In a moment of her exposition, her; the embodiment of past, weeping before Kakashi, Gai is falling off the boat. A descent into oblivion; an oblivion he wants but was denied. And Kakashi cannot care about the war or the woman or the past, all he does is jump after Gai. And hold his hand. It is by outside, coincidental forces (Sai, on a bird.) that either survive. Kakashi refused Gai to descend into oblivion alone.

This novel is also the first instance of Kakashi being relevant with both of his eyes. I like to think it’s them falling together that Gai really understands that this is the first time he’s looked into Kakashi’s eyes since adolescence.

[kittennature]

DROP THE DAGGER AND LATHER THE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS ROMEO ‼️‼️

[an-actual-floof]

nothing like being back on the Enterprise with your reckless husband Captain to make you rethink backing out of your Kolinahr

a late sketch for the day 1 prompt “Kolinahr” from @rubbertplant ‘s Spocktober!!

[quinns-art-box]

rarepair week day 2: running away/death

i’ve drawn so much cute fluffy art of them (definitely more to come in the future) so i wanted to give them something more thematic and sad!! they make me go a little bananas ok…… the tragedy of it all…….

@dr-rarepair-week-blog

[aq2003]

i think twelve and clara are starting to make sense to me but i don't think it's what moffat intended or how the ppl that like them see their dynamic

[lexicog]

traitor to the cause forgets national holiday every year KILL HIM

[lem-argentum]

there is a lot that undoubtedly sucks about instagram however letting you add songs to posts is the best thing in the world because there's NOTHINGGG!!!!!!!! i love more than subjecting people to my music. 💛💛💛

[mcybree]

Random limlife Scott rant, GO!

I got this ask and decided that I’d give it my best shot but got so mad on my skim through some of the moments I remembered that I gave up.

[vampiremansionpoolboy-moved]

going insane over the fact that happiness and care and concern and love is underneath every interaction between newt and hermann in pacific rim

[swordmaid]

having shri’iia thoughts as one does bc GUESS who’s save file completely died when the new patch came out nooo we have to replay her again 🤭 alas. just stewing on the thought of how she never got to fuck her Mistress even though she wanted to…!!!! like she was out there getting psychologically tortured and mind broken but she was just like WHY won’t you fuck me im literally doing everything for you. which is so bad for her, woman who already has an excruciatingly low self worth because she missed the mark on the standard for lolth’s children (and that’s worse than not fitting in the standard at all) by something out of her own control btw (not being born in a noble house) but she’s been recognised and blessed by her goddess, and she’s been invited to join a drow house so everything should be good right?? she should be desirable right?? finally everything is correct and well and good and the way it should be right????? but no..!! it’s not..!! and so she’s doing everything for this woman, no dignity left, literally doing anything to get her approval, to be told that she’s finally enough, and she’s finally fitting in - and she gets it sometimes, she gets ignored most times tbh and it’s just this painful excruciating stew of self loathing and insecurity that she’s in, and she’s in there for a century but the thing is she can’t even give up. it’s not in her nature to. and she’s done too much to just give up , and she’s been doing this for a long time that she can’t give up and lolth didn’t raise no quitters so she sticks by it, trying to achieve that hopeless praise. but then one day she gets dropped like nothing, everything she’s done and suffered and worked towards and sacrificed gets thrown out bc her goddess isn’t pleased with her and good luck going home btw you’re not welcome here anymore bc ur pathetic. the rug gets pulled under her feet and she’s left in this strange world that she can barely navigate in let alone speak the language and u expect her to b fine with that…?

[sarakiz]

22-23 season costume appreciation

Conrad Orzel (CAN) - Carmina Burana: O Fortuna by Carl Orff

[wurmwizzard]

Another 1hr hike turned 5hr somewhat-lost trek through the wilderness. Not that I particularly mind, of course.

[infizero]

light and misa's "relationship" is rlly tragic and fucked but also in an isolated state its really fucking funny. ESPECIALLY if you consider them both to be arospec like i do

[mars-ipan]

man. strangers you don’t know but have heard stories about are wild

[talentforlying]

while i'm talking out my ass: there are definitely parallels between constantine and the shadow dog from the beast of eden arc. existing as guardian between humanity and the supernatural horrors chomping at the bit to consume it, but going down in legend as the contributor or cause of every horrific, near-world-ending event that he was actually trying to prevent because everyone heard he was there when it happened. resurrected from failure by the belief that people have in him as their protector, and simultaneously, because they give him no choice.

which could also have been a contributing factor to how willing he was to accept its blame and destroy it.