#motherfucking jake english

[bigbangjustified]

jake english doodle, I liked this one

[goodhomestuckpanels]

[doomvoidjelly]

doggirl Jake English is valid but if he was a cat he would be an oriental shorthair

[holylulusworld]

Get off my lawn

Title: Get off my lawn

Written for @buckybarnesbingo (Round 6)

Card: B004

Square Filled: Y5: Kink: A/B/O Society

Ship/Main Pairing: Alpha (Teacher) Bucky Barnes x Omega (Teacher) Reader

Rating: Mature

Major Tags/Triggers/Warnings: a/b/o, a/b/o dynamics, misogynism, arguments, enemies to lovers, idiots in love, panty theft, implied smut

Summary: You hate your neighbor and co-worker.

Word Count: 1632

@buckybarnesevents „Hot Bucky Summer 2024”: “We’re…enemies to lovers.”

@buckybingo (expired): Square 3: High School Teachers AU

@AllCapsBingo (expired):  G3: AU: Teacher

@warmandfluffybingocards: Square 9: Enemies to lovers

@the-slumberparty (expired): Square 7: Lingerie

@buckbarnesbingo Round 5 (expired): B1: Knitting

You need time away from … everything and everyone.

Sometimes it’s hard to love your job. On days like this, when the parents of your students bug you because they believe you are more than a teacher you want to quit. According to some parents, you must be a therapist, a nanny, and a private tutor at the same time.

Impatiently clicking your pen, you listen to the last father’s rant. He’s angry because his son won’t do better than a D for months. It’s not your fault his son plays on his phone all the time.

“I’ll stop you right there,” you raise your hand, not letting the man argue with you. “It’s past my work time, still, I agreed to talk to you.” You rub your pounding temples. “Let’s be honest. Your son could do much better if only he put a little more effort into schoolwork. He just doesn’t want to.”

“That’s not true!” And he tries to argue again. Alphas are all the same. They try to force you into submission by raising their voice. “He’s a smart boy, but you don’t give him a chance.”

“Sir, I must ask you to lower your voice. I’m not your omega, and I resent your tone,” you get up from your seat. “Your son plays on his phone all the time. When I ask him to listen to the lecture, he gets cheeky. He doesn’t respect his teachers or fellow students. He’s disturbing the lectures too.”

“Mr. Barnes said my son is a good student,” the alpha snarls and puffs his chest. You roll your eyes and decide to end the conversation.

“Mr. Barnes is a gym teacher. Of course, he believes your son is a good student. Jack only ever shows interest if he can push others around and use his physical strength to intimidate others.”

“Are you implying that my son is a bully?”

“No,” you smile cooly. “I’m not implying that your son is a bully. I’m telling you that he is a bully. If you want Mr. Barnes to teach your son English too, you can ask him to be his tutor from now on.”

You grab your bag and jacket to leave the room, ignoring that the alpha snarls in your direction. You have handled men like him before and won’t whine only because he believes you must cower in front of him.

Today is not your day. First, you had to endure your student’s father, and now you run into the only co-worker you hate.

“Ah, Ms. Y/L/N,” James Buchanan Barnes, the cockiest motherfucker you ever met, purrs. “I heard you had trouble with Jake’s dad.” He grins, knowing he made things even harder for you. “Maybe you should leave the young alphas to me.”

“Maybe you should not stick your nose into other people’s business, Mr. Barnes,” you quip before marching away. He won’t get under your skin. Not today out of all days. It’s the last day of school. Summer lies ahead and you won’t allow him to ruin your mood.

“I wonder if you bought these for someone special,” Bucky laughs as he steps toward your fence to look at your rotary airer – or rather at your lingerie hanging on the airer. “I thought you hate any alpha.”

“Get. Off. My. Lawn,” you twirl around to glare at him. “What the fuck is wrong with you? What kind of man sneaks around an unbonded omega’s house to stare at her lingerie?”

He snorts when you put your hands on your hips, and snarl in his direction. “I’m not on your lawn, doll. This is a public street. I can stand here as long as I want to.”

“If you don’t get out of my sight, you’ll regret it,” you point your index finger at Bucky. “I’m warning you.”

“You’re cute when you believe you can scare me,” he laughs. “What are you going to do, huh? Threaten to throw your lingerie at me.” Bucky throws his head back, laughing. “No, I know. You are going to stab me to death with your knitting needles.”

You growl loudly. “How do you know I knit?”

“Women like you,” he steps closer to your fence and puts his hands on it, “lonely omegas no one wants to mate spend their time with knitting and telling themselves they love being single.”

“You—” you inhale sharply before turning around. Bucky is still laughing when you grab the water hose. You suddenly turn back around to spray Bucky right in the chest, soaking his shirt. He ungracefully backpaddles.

“You…” He growls when you laugh at his predicament. “Do you think this is funny?” Bucky takes off his shirt and flings it at you. “You’ll wash it and give it back to me.”

For a moment, you look at his chest, drinking his defined abs in. He is perfectly toned, and you hate him even more when your eyes drop to his thick thighs.

“In your dreams,” you rip your eyes off his body to grab the shirt and toss it in his face. “Get away from my house, you creep. What kind of man stares at a lady’s lingerie?”

“Lady,” he snorts. “You’re a fury, not a lady!”

“Bastard!”

“Bitch!”

Bucky watches you storm off, an amused smirk on his lips. He loves to toy with you and rile you up. Your scent gets stronger, and you almost drown him in it. The alpha inhales deeply, purring low in his throat as his lower half yearns for something more than your scent…

“That bastard,” you pace back and forth in your living room, eyes drifting toward the wool and your knitting needles on the coffee table. “I should stab him with my needles. One day, I’ll do it.”

Your cat meows loudly. The stray you saved a year ago wants more food, not an angry omega disturbing its sleep. “What? I took you in. You should be on my side!”

You’re about to fight with your cat when a knock interrupts you. “Christ, can I not get a moment of silence?” You walk toward the door, taking deep breaths to calm down. You don’t want to yell at someone only because Bucky Barnes riled you up once again.

“Coming,” you coo while opening the door. You put on a fake smile, but it falls when no other than the thorn in your side stands in front of you. He waves his shirt and growls your name. “What are you doing here?”

“I told you; you’ll wash my shirt!”

“I told you to get off my lawn, bastard!”

You snatch the shirt out of his hands, drop it to the ground, and stomp on it before kicking it away. “If you come here again, I’ll stab you with my knitting needle.”

“I knew you are knit—” he can’t end his line because you slam the door in his face.

“Yeah, fuck you too!”

“Where are my…” You stare at the empty rotary airer. All your lingerie and even your favorite nightie is gone. There is nothing left but Bucky’s dirty shirt. “That motherfucker stole my panties!”

He made it. Today is the day you’ll end James Buchanan Barnes's life. You run inside to get your knitting needles, a grim expression on your face. He brought it upon himself with his cocky attitude and stupid smile. How dare he drown you in his scent anytime you are near him.

The alpha will die and it’s all his fault…

“Open the fucking door!” You harshly knock at his door. “I know you are at home, you fucker! Stealing is a crime. Trespassing is a crime too!”

Bucky slowly opens his door. Today the cocky fucker has his hair pulled back. The white undershirt he’s wearing is a little too tight. He smirks at you and crosses his muscular arms over his chest. “What can I do for you doll?”

 “You know exactly what I want, Barnes,” you throw his dirty shirt in his face. “Give me back my lingerie and nightie, you fucking creep!”

“I don’t know what you are talking about?” He dips his head to let his eyes wander up and down your body. “If anyone stole clothes, it’s you. How did you get my shirt, doll?”

“You won’t get away with stealing from me,” you take a step closer to Bucky to push against his shoulders. He stumbles backward and hits the door with his back. Bucky yelps when you press one knitting needled against his crotch, poking his balls.

“Doll, what are you up to?” He watches you place your other hand on his chest, moving it up and down. “Y/N?”

“You’ll never underestimate me again,” moving your hand to his throat you smirk. “I want my lingerie back. If you don’t give them back, I’ll take something from you.”

“I can’t give them back,” he breathes heavily feeling the needly poke his sack. “I’d love to give them back…though…but…I can’t…I swear.”

“Why not? Did you give them to one of your one-nighters?” You snarl his name. “Where are my panties?”

“In my nightstand,” Bucky licks his lips. “They are dirty…though.”

You gape at him. “You fucker!”

“Yeah, I fucked them good and hard,” he grins when you drop the needle to cup his crotch. “I imagined it’s your needy hole I stuff with my thick cock.”

“You’re a pervert and a creep,” you fist his undershirt with both hands. “If you don’t want me to stab you with my knitting needle, you’ll wash my lingerie…”

“Hmm…” he purrs when you step away to move your hands under your summer dress. You shimmy out of your panties and ball them up. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, you will wash these with your dirty mouth…”

Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[jakesgalxy]

THAT'S HER - a nrk smau 💌

"HYUNG THAT'S HER"

" who???" "THAT PRETTY ENGENE!!"

"WAIT THAT'S HER ?????"

PAIRING : idol!niki x idol!fem reader

SYNOPSIS : Nishimura riki aka niki, the maknae of the popular group enhypen never had a girlfriend but 4 months ago during his concert in america he saw the prettiest fan he had ever laid his eyes on. Yeah surely all engenes were pretty but this girl definetly caught his attention and safe to say after four months she is the only thing on his mind. What happens when he sees her again but now she's an kpop idol and what happens when they both get paired to mentor as judges in a dance survival show?

FEATURING : Enhypen , newjeans, yujin from le sserafim and more idols

GENRE : Crack, fluff, angst, bickering , broken humour

WARNINGS : Jake's age is slightly changed, suggestive jokes, kys jokes, cursing, let me know if there are more !!!

AERA'S NOTE : Hi everyone this is aera !! This is my first smau so please be kind as am just beginning. This is pure fiction totally made on my own, it has nothing to do with the idols in real life. I take pictures from pinterest <3.Feel free to correct me when you feel like as english is not my native language <3 I try my best to live upto your expections but if I can't am really sorry about that. Hope you enjoy 🫶🏻❤️‍🩹

TAGLIST :- @naijmi @eupherbia @kgneptun @kittyeij @imyourjoy0 @mrowwww @im-yn-suckers @ibsysbsfsunsbs @lillians-world-is-f1 @sunshinessky @hoondiors @babyy-bambii @nikipedia07

MASTERLIST

TEASER

PROFILE ONE - THE HOMOSEXUAL SUPPORTING CAST

PROFILE TWO THE IT GROUP

CHAPTER ONE Who let her out.

CHATER TWO We are changing the leader❤️

CHAPTER THREE Sleep with one eye open | part 2

CHAPTER FOUR She has a point tho

CHAPTER FIVE That's what I thought.

CHAPTER SIX ITS NOT A CRUSH

CHAPTER SEVEN My boy is winning at life

CHAPTER EIGHT Your mom deserves better

CHAPTER NINE That actually went well ?

CHAPTER TEN WHY TF AM I TRENDING ON TWITTER AGAIN

CHAPTER ELEVEN Let me pick u up.

CHAPTER TWELVE Lets pretend you're right

CHAPTER THIRTEEN I hope you embarrass yourself infront of him

CHAPTER FOURTEEN We are so goofy hehehe 😦

CHAPTER FIFTEEN AUSSIE HANGOUT PT 1 | PT 2

CHAPTER SIXTEEN Day 2 at the survival show

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN I did it.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Great then

CHAPTER NINETEEN welcome jake

CHAPTER TWENTY fake date

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE that motherfucker

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO We lost her to a man 😔

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE Depressed but well dressed 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR Trust me

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE #CHANGE THE CEO

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX WAR IS OVER

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN My girl 🫶🏻

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT FUCKING FINALLY

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE Open your door

CHAPTER THIRTY The end <3

Completed

© jakesgalxy

[tojisun]

pretty when i cry

recom miles quaritch x fem na’vi reader x olo’eyktan jake sully

!! smut - minors dni; pwp; threesome (p in v & oral); dacryphilia; size difference; hinted age gap (not really mentioned much because focus is on the size diff); power imbalance; extended foreplay (fingering); purity kink; corruption kink; dumbification; manhandling; slight exhibition kink; daddy kink; breeding kink; creampie; squirting; slight belly bulge; na’vi and english petnames; mean tease jake and quaritch; mutual possessiveness; switching povs // 5.7k words

: i wrote this when i was well-rested from my vacation and it exploded into this behemoth of a smut fic wheww; the fingering went on for too long bc, well, hands <33; i’m changing the format of the bulk of the fic to reduce eye strain; im super nervous posting this but i hope you guys would love it 🥹; title is from pretty when you cry - lana

jake watches, his throat parched, as quaritch (alive and looking too damn well as a na’vi) hefts you onto his lap, manhandling your smaller body so that your legs are spread wide open, giving jake a good view of your leaking cunt. your face is flushed, blue skin turning into a delicious purple, your eyes screwed shut as though by ignoring their hungry gazes, you wouldn’t feel the shame thrumming in your veins.

jake thinks you look so beautiful bathed in your shame – your lust burning at your core.

you’ve always been so tiny – the runt of the clan – but jake hadn’t seen the perks of your constitution, given that he’d been too busy worrying about you. you’ve always been his little doll, his little angel; the one who drove his protective instincts into new heights. 

he wanted to keep you safe, yes, but he also wanted to keep you pure. naive. blindly trusting him because jake promised, didn’t he? he promised that he’d always protect and guide you? and jake had watched the way you melted in his arms, nodding at him softly, watching him with reverence as though the weight of his words exceeded that of eywa’s. 

then quaritch swooped in, with his sharp fangs and sharper words, and then jake was losing you to him. because while jake desired your innocence, quaritch lusted for your corruption. and quaritch is too good at corrupting.

(“well, there’s no rule that says we can’t share her, corporal.”

jake’s fury evaporated, the clawing possessiveness that had him in a bind loosened up as his ears twitched at hearing quaritch’s drawled out words. the motherfucker smirked, slanted eyes curving in amusement at jake’s sudden interest.

“oh, so now we listenin’ to lil ol’ me, huh?” 

jake’s tail snapped behind him, the limb whipping in agitation. quaritch just rolled his eyes at jake’s reaction, sighing through his nose as he leaned back to his seat, looking far too calm as though he and jake weren’t just arguing, almost fighting, over who gets to claim you.

any other day, jake would realize that he was acting just as selfishly as quaritch was; that despite all his bravado and promises of being the better man for you, he had only ended up following the colonel’s footsteps. but for now, jake didn’t care. not when whatever quaritch was offering seemed too good to reject.

quaritch huffed at jake’s silence, choosing to use it as a hint to keep on talking. “it’s not like we got any other choice, sully. for whatever fucked up reason, my girl wants you just as much, and i’m willin’ to share because, well.”

‘because i love her’ went unsaid but both jake and quaritch knew the words that he kept to himself.

jake swallowed the lump lodged in his throat, blinking his eyes to bat away the choking feeling of his possessiveness, chasing away the last remnants of his hesitancy as he hissed, “she’s my girl too, quaritch.”

it was as good as a crystal agreement and quaritch laughed, loud and booming.

“well, alright then.”)

it was natural to let quaritch take the lead and to have him do the talking. jake held your hand throughout, his thumb rubbing along the ridges of your knuckles as quaritch talked about soulmates and compatibility, things that jake knew the other man barely believed in, and ending his tirade with a “you’d love us equally, won’t you, princess?”

your eyes were wide as you listened to him talk, and jake almost cooed at how cute you looked with your lips parted open and your tail swishing behind you excitedly, but before he could do so, you ripped your hand from his hold and jumped right into quaritch’s arms.

jake had to admit, seeing you dwarfed by quaritch’s bigger and bulkier form stirred something in him. 

and, apparently, it did something to quaritch too, seeing as there you are, sat on the colonel’s lap, squealing as he fucks two of his fingers into your sopping cunt. 

jake is unable to hold in his ragged groans as he hears the wet sound made by a particularly hard thrust, your juices leaking past thick fingers. he doesn’t know when he stopped feeling jealous that it wasn’t him who was fucking your pussy, and started to feel unabashed excitement at seeing you fall apart because of someone else’s doing. 

he palms his hard cock through his tewng just in time to hear you keen, your back arched in that delicious way that always renders jake speechless. the beads of your braids click together when you begin to shake your head, raising your hand to wrap it around quaritch’s wrist. 

“my’lus, close! ‘m close!”

jake laughs at hearing the butchered name of the colonel coming from those beautiful lips of yours that he loves to kiss so much before he flicks his eyes up to meet quaritch’s glare, the heat behind it absolutely cooled down seeing as he cradled the love of jake’s life – the very person that quaritch loves above all. 

“don’t you tease my cupcake, sully. if she calls me ‘my’lus’, i am ‘my’lus’, aren’t i, princess?” he coos at you, as though his fingers aren’t digging into your cunt and rubbing along your heated walls, crooking them just right as his thumb flicks at your hardened nub.

all you could do was whimper, batting those pretty lashes up at quaritch as though your tears could soften the man into giving you what you needed. quaritch just grins, winking, and you let out a pathetic little sniffle that peters off into a choked moan when he just thrusts his fingers into your cunt again. 

jake shucks off his tewng, impatiently chucking the cloth to the side before closing his fist around his pulsing cock. he grunts at the warm pleasure that erupted from finally touching his sensitive length, tightening his fist along the flushed head as he begins rubbing his thumb across the leaking slit, causing shivers to rack his body. 

he doesn’t realize that he’s closed his eyes until he physically has to peel them open, needing to see you be stuffed by quaritch. expecting to only see the way your eyes would roll back to your skull, overwhelmed by the teasing fingers taking you apart, electrical euphoria seizes him when he meets your teary gaze instead. 

-

miles’ other hand cupped your jaw, forcing you to prop your head up and watch as jake fucked his fist, his eyes screwed shut in pleasure.

“see him, darlin’? y’see how frantic you made him?” miles’ voice rumbles in your ear, his lips ghosting along the side of your face. he stops his fingers, uncaring of your needy whines, and you realize, amidst tears and hiccupped gasps, that he is waiting for you to reply. so you clamp down on your breathy whimpers, keeping your focus on jake, before giving miles a soft nod. 

your eyes trail over jake, taking him in. his locs are out of his hair tie, the strands falling to frame his face, giving shadows over his usually-soft features, making them look much sharper than what you’re used to. his lips are pulled back in a snarl, his fangs nipping at them as he loses himself to his thoughts. his arms are flexed, bulging muscles rippling with his every move, and his belly is flexed, making way to show off the abs hidden underneath the slight swell of his stomach. 

“y’know what got him actin’ all desperate?” miles’ voice is teasing, like he knows something you don’t. you shake your head, humming in question, breathless as miles begins to spread his fingers again, grunting in delight when your tight walls clamped down on them. 

“he’s thinkin’ about you, sweet girl. he’s thinkin’ about fuckin’ you the way i do.” miles presses a soft kiss on the shell of your ear as he says this, slowly dragging his fingers out of your heat, pulling moans from your kissed-swollen lips and silencing your heady mind. 

it takes a while before the weight of his words sink in, and when they do, you gasp, jolting from miles’ lap with the crashing need to touch jake. to feel him.

you want jake. you want him to press close; to engulf you with his warmth and spear his leaking cock into your cunt. you want his kisses. his mating. his everything. eywa, why is he sitting so far away? why isn’t he touching you right now?

miles chuckles at seeing you pout, dragging his lips across your cheek, but you don’t pay him any mind as your attention is pulled into watching jake’s eyes flutter open, only to hear your heart stutter at seeing what were once pools of vibrant ambers transformed into thin rings of gold. 

all because he desires you. 

“jesus,” miles growls, bumping his forehead into the back of your shoulder. “goddamn, love. you just clenched on my fingers there.” his fangs nip your skin, and you feel the vibrations of his hums reverberating from where his lips are pressed. 

you couldn’t stop the shiver that raced down your body when jake’s eyes snap to your cunt at miles’ words, his gaze zoning in on the way miles is cupping your pussy. you watch the way he studies miles’ palm rubbing against your tiny nub, the other man’s teasing touches turning into something more desperate as though the tight squeeze of your walls on his fingers are translating into a more direct pleasure for him. as though miles could already feel how your cunt would hug his thick cock. 

you squirm on his lap, new bouts of tears trickling from the corners of your eyes when miles pulls his fingers out only to slam them back in you again, your back arching from his chest at the familiar numbing ecstasy that miles has delightfully taken to extinguishing just moments before you could tip over into your sweet orgasm. your lips fall for a silent scream, your ears ringing with static.

loppy and delirious from your increasing euphoria, you reach out for jake, wordlessly begging him to come and finally touch you. 

jake doesn’t need to be prompted twice.

-

he clambers to the spot just in front of you, trying to ignore quaritch altogether. but it is futile, especially when all jake can focus on is the consistent wap-wap-wap of the colonel’s thick fingers fucking you oh so deliciously. 

you are wailing, dazed and drunk off of your arousal. jake bets that you don’t even know the way you are clawing at quaritch’s RDA-issued shirt, your blunt fingernails catching onto the cloth and causing runs into the fabric. 

jake slots himself perfectly into the space between your parted legs and he takes the time to appreciate your toned thighs, dragging his eyes over the expanse of your skin that is shimmering with a thin sheen of sweat. his eyes stay frozen at your debauched cunt, your folds swollen from how much it’s been played with. the results of quaritch’s drawled out edging continue to trickle from your heat, dampening your inner thighs and creating a wet spot in the sheets. jake chuckles at the mess you’ve made before trailing his gaze over your tanhi, running his eyes from your belly, spasming with every ragged breath, to your perky tits. 

you’ve been stripped to full nudity, your necklace-top and your tewng had been ripped apart by quaritch’s impatient hands. jake remembers hissing at him, growling from the base of his throat because those had been one of the many gifts jake made for you. quaritch laughed and said, “all the more reason to tear ‘em up.”

despite his initial anger, jake can’t say that he doesn’t understand the eagerness lining quaritch’s actions. they’ve both wanted to touch you for so long now, dancing around like idiots as they courted for your hand, only to end up in this tangled mess.

but what a sight you make, he thinks. 

“look at you, paskalin,” jake whispers, his voice a gunshot amidst the melody of nothing but your sweet moans.

your head snaps up to meet his gaze and jake coos when your teary eyes can barely hold the stare, too distracted by the continuous edging of quaritch’s fingers. jake cups your jaw, rubbing soothing nothings on the skin just underneath your lashes and wiping away the tears drenching your cheeks. 

“y’r so beautiful,” he continues, folding himself before you to duck his head until you two are lips-to-lips. then, he presses them against yours, holding the chaste kiss, before pulling back just enough that your noses are bumping together. 

jake can feel your stuttering breaths against his mouth and he can’t stop the adoring smile that tugs up at his lips. “y’ve got us into a tizzy, sweetheart.”

“teezi?” you ask, struggling with the accent, and only then does jake realize that you’re no longer mewling.

jake dips his head down, curious, and is delighted to see your cunt finally free. he purrs at the sight of your hardened nub, nestled atop your puffy folds. he notes the way quaritch’s hands are holding your thighs apart, spreading you all for jake to gawk at. 

“oh, baby girl,” he croons, desire slamming into him. “y’r cunt’s all messy.” he swipes a finger over the slit of your pussy, chuckling when he hears your breath hitching at the teasing touch.

“ma’jake,” you whine, looping your arms around his neck, pulling him close, nuzzling your cheek on his neck. jake hums in faux curiosity, as though he doesn’t have a single clue about what he does to you.

still, he bucks close, his hands wrapping around your itty-bitty waist – not minding the fact that by doing so, he can feel quaritch’s abdomen pressed to your back – to drag you closer to him. you easily follow, falling to your knees and eagerly crawling to him.

jake chuckles at quaritch’s huff, his smile easing off when the colonel appeases himself by twirling your tail around his hand, gently tugging, coaxing more whines from your sore throat. 

“that’s right, baby cheeks,” quaritch murmurs fondly, before he bends over to nip at the tufts of your tail, knowing just how sensitive you are there. he’s rewarded with a drawled out keen, your pretty lashes batting together as you twist to turn to quaritch. your back arches beautifully as you do this, and jake’s hold on your waist gathers strength, unable to help himself 

jake rubs at your waist to calm you down, rumbling quiet shushing noises and shooting quaritch a glare. “my turn, colonel. lemme make my baby feel good.”

quaritch huffs, still holding onto your tail, but he pulls back, giving space for jake to move. jake takes it greedily, sliding his hands down to hold your hips, pulling you to his lap. his lips meet yours right away, devouring your surprised squeak. 

he feels your hands grip his shoulders, breathy trills of your happy sighs being engulfed by his rumbling grunts, and jake couldn’t stop himself from thrusting his cock along the folds of your soaked heat. the touch sends you buckling on his lap, your lips leaving his as your head falls back for a muted gasp. jake snarls when he sees your pretty neck, and buries his fangs into your skin, nipping. marking. 

mine, he thinks. my pretty mate.

“ma’jake!” you moan as you fist his locs, your hips rolling over his cock. “ma’jake, plea- my’lus, nooo.”

the sob catches jake’s attention, his curiosity bleeding past his arousal, and he looks up, thrill running down his spine when he sees the way quaritch’s hands are planted on your pretty tits, his big hands dwarfing the mounds, while his fingers tweak at your hardened nipples. quaritch’s face is pressed on the back of your head, and jake strains his ears when he sees the other man’s lips moving.

“s’right, cupcake,” is what jake hears first. “we’re gon’ fill up that tiny cunt of y’rs an’ make y’feel the stretch. we’re gon’ take turns stuffin’ you whole until y’r pussy can’t forget our shapes.”

jake startles at your whimper, the sound ricocheting within the small space between you two. he tears his eyes away from quaritch – fuming when he realized that he had been swayed by the colonel’s words, his own tail wagging behind him like a goddamn dog in heat, drunk off of his promises – and turns to you. 

your wet eyes blink down at him although he knows that you’re not really seeing him, not when your head has you tumbling images of what he and quaritch want to do with you. still, it has jake cooing as he bucks his hips up, purposefully grinding his hard cock along your weeping cunt again. 

“that’s right, yawne,” jake murmurs, his voice heady and rugged. 

“gon stuff this full,” he dips you down to his cock when he murmurs this. he snarls when you nod, soft giggles creeping from your lips when you notice the desperation in jake’s voice.

“y’love that, princess?” quaritch asks, covering your back with his bulk again, his greedy hands coming up to press your tits together, making the two of them salaciously hum at the cleavage your tits made. 

you nod, sighing, nuzzling your head back onto quaritch’s chest. 

jake clicks his tongue. “use y’r words, paskalin.”

“yes, please,” you finally utter, and jake’s heart thuds in his chest at hearing how ruined you sound. 

“there’s my girl,” quaritch drawls out, sounding just as intoxicated as jake feels. 

-

miles diligently holds your legs open, watching with bated breath as jake gently slides his cock into your wet cunt. he can feel your heaving chest as you continue to watch jake claim your tight pussy for the very first time, noting the way your breath hitches at the possible sting, and miles distracts you with the teasing touches he glides across your dewy skin.

“shh, princess,” miles whispers, nipping the shell of your ear. “didn’t i promise that i’ve got you?”

you nod, a broken little thing, and miles feels pity rise amidst the curl of arousal burning underneath his skin. 

he shoots jake a glare. “damn it, corporal. fuckin’ take it easy.”

jake snaps his golden eyes up at him – the eyes of a predator, miles thinks – growling, and miles raises a brow at the incredulity of jake’s sudden possessiveness. rearing his head back, he lets out a responding hiss, letting go of your perky tits to wrap his arms completely around your chest. 

there is a pregnant pause, the two of them posturing against each other, before a quiet action draws their attention back to you.

your head is tilted to the side, bearing your neck, and from his angle, miles no longer has a view of your pretty face. that’s quite alright, he thinks, feeling his cock jump from his trousers. 

miles doesn’t know much about the na’vi. not their customs or their culture, and he just holds enough knowledge of their language because he loves talking to you. but this? he doesn’t even have to glance at jake to ask what you’re doing. he knows what it is.

you’re fucking presenting to them.

“oh, ma’paskalin,” is all jake says, his voice thick with emotions, before he’s sinking his cock into you all the way. miles growls in appreciation when your back arches, your head falling to his chest as you moan, your eyes rolling back to your skull. 

miles lets go of your sides, a hand coming up to cup your jaw as he tips your head further down until he can kiss you. you are too overwhelmed with pleasure to kiss back, but miles doesn’t mind, choosing to suck on your bottom lip instead until it is slick and swollen. 

you claw at his neck, broken hiccups being swallowed by miles’ hungry mouth, before he groans at feeling your small body getting jostled. the action is followed by distinct slapping noises and jake’s grunted moans.

miles breaks the kiss and he is instantly gifted with the sweet cries spilling from your lips.

“my’lus!” you squeal, outright sobbing in his arms, and miles roars out a laugh. 

jake snarls before you get tugged out of miles’ hold, landing directly on top of jake’s cock, making the whole length of it sink into you. 

“my goddamn name,” jake growls, grasping at your hips to bounce you on top of him. “say my name, yawne. i’m the one fuckin’ you.”

miles takes delight in your cock-drunk self, too uninhibited to respect jake’s demands. jake snarls again as he fucks up into your cunt, your leaking slick making the slaps of your skins reverberate wetly. 

miles feels himself shiver at the messiness of it all. it’s his turn to watch you get fucked into oblivion by another man, and miles thought that he’d be put off by seeing someone else mating you, but he can’t help but love the sight that you and jake make.

miles strips his shirt and throws it behind him, mentally noting that if it’s clean enough, then he’d want you to wear it. ever since jake mentioned that whatever you’ve been wearing was made by himself, miles began wanting to see you in something of his own possession too.

he unzips his pants, not having any more effort to stand up and strip it off himself completely, before pulling his cock out. he turns to the two of you again, ready to use you both as spank bank material, only to see how jake’s turned into a pure fucking animal. 

the olo’eyktan is snapping his teeth at whatever expanse of your skin is presented to him, digging his fangs and marking you for himself. his hands had fallen from your hips and found purchase on your beautiful ass, where he’s got fists full of your flesh while he uses you as his personal cocksleeve, slamming you down onto his cock and then lifting you up until all that’s left is his head, before repeating the delicious process all over again. 

miles has to grip his cock to stop himself from cumming when he sees the way jake’s fingers are dimpling your skin, not wanting to waste a single drop of his seed outside of your cunt. he’ll bury all of his seed in you, he promises, quietly moaning to himself.

-

quaritch is so lost in trying to stop himself from tipping over the edge that he doesn’t notice the way jake manhandles you so that you’re now facing quaritch. jake’s arm is snug around your waist, his other hand circling your neck, as he waits until quaritch’s attention is back on you two.

jake watches the moment quaritch gets a hold of himself, the other man’s chest heaving due to his ragged breaths, before golden eyes snap open to zone in on you. 

jake doesn’t even care that quaritch ignored him completely, not when jake knows the sight that you must make: stuffed with his cock, your legs trembling as you hold them apart for your audience to show off your puffy pussy that is currently stretched in an obscene way. jake knows how your face must be wet with fresh tears or the way your lips are swollen from being devoured by the two of them, or how your pretty little tits are perky and flushed, much like the soft curve of your neck that is littered with hickeys.

“jake, more! more, please! i want more!” you beg oh so sinfully, sniffling when jake just ruts his cock into your pussy instead of giving you what you want.

jake clicks his tongue as he tightens his hand around your neck, not really hurting but putting enough pressure to render you speechless. he hums at your silence before turning to quaritch again.

“look how beautiful she is,” jake says, his voice full of pride. “my syulang’s takin’ me so well, isn’t she?”

quaritch nods, and jake notes how his eyes aren’t meeting his nor are they meeting yours. he follows quaritch’s gaze, turning his head to study your body, roving his gaze across the expanse of your beautiful self, before finally stopping at the skin just below your belly.

fucking hell.

“her pussy’s snug, ain’t it?” quaritch asks, rhetorical and sounding too far away like he doesn’t actually give a shit about holding the conversation.

jake can’t blame him. if he wasn’t the one tasting you, he’d be just as drunk at the image you paint. his hand leaves your waist to slide down your belly, before stopping directly on the taut skin of your womb. 

“look how far she’s takin’ me, quaritch,” jake whispers reverently, before he presses his lips on your shoulder. “she got me nestled all the way here.”

jake taps the bulge that’s formed in your belly, and quaritch chokes on his words, unable to stop himself any longer. his fist rocks down his cock again, trying to alleviate the itch pooling in the pit of his stomach. 

you hiccup, lifting your lither hand to rest on top of jake’s and jake croons, softly nuzzling his cheek on your shoulder. his touch is tender, like he’s not moulding your cunt to remember his shape. 

“m-ma’jake,” you stutter, your legs squeezing close when jake rocks into you again. “i want-” a sob breaks your words. “ma’muntxatan, please, i want more.”

quaritch growls, creeping closer upon hearing your words. “he ain’t your only mate, princess.”

-

miles pinches your chin and you blink up at him with a soft sniffle. he taps your lips, remaining quiet, and you want to call for him and beg him to touch you. but all thoughts fly away when jake lifts you up just enough that the slow drag of his cock is torturous, your walls spasming around his length as though trying to stop him from sliding out.

you grip miles’ wrist, using him to tether yourself, and as you do so, you almost miss his words.

“come on, baby,” miles murmurs, his hand leaving your chin to scruff you by your nape. “open y’r mouth for daddy, yeah?”

you purr at the familiar nickname that falls from his lips, the very same one that danced on your tongue, in the privacy of your hut, when you’ve learnt what it meant for the tawtute. 

“fuck, quaritch,” jake murmurs from behind you. “she jus’ squeezed me.”

miles laughs. “is that right, sweetheart?” you feel him pushing you to your elbows, gentle as jake continues to hump at your pussy. “you wanna call me ‘daddy’?” 

you lick the back of your teeth, going shy all of a sudden, but jake’s hand rubs soothing nothings on your back, as though coaxing you to murmur your agreement. 

“yes, daddy,” you readily say, peering up at quaritch through your lashes. you clear your throat, parting your lips only to gasp when you feel jake’s cock slide out of you completely. 

“ma’jake, no!” you cry, twisting, but his hands on your back stop you. 

“jus’ a temporary change, baby girl,” jake reassures, chuckling to himself softly. 

miles takes over, grasping your flushed cheeks with his big hands and urging you to turn to him. you gasp when you are faced with his thick cock, your throat going dry at the size of it. 

“remember when i told you we’d stuff you full, sweetheart?” he asks, grunting when the soft puffs of your breath tickle his sensitive length. 

you nod, humming, not breaking your stare at his beautiful cock. 

“well, would you open y’r pretty mouth for daddy?” miles presses his cock to your lips as he asks this, the leaking head tainting your swollen lips with his tangy taste. 

you can’t help the way your tongue juts out and swipes at the sensitive flesh, your arms wobbling when the taste of miles explodes on your tongue. you don’t utter anything anymore as you part your lips as wide as you can before wrapping them around the head of miles’ cock. it is thick and heavy, but you are resolute to tasting it all.

“gentle with your fangs, princess,” miles murmurs, and you hum around a mouthful, relaying to him that you’ve heard him well. the action has him fisting at your braids, hisses spilling from his curled lips. 

“motherfucker!”

you pause, nervous, but miles doesn’t sound angry so you return to swallowing as much as you can. as you do so, you feel jake’s hand spreading your folds apart with his cool fingers, sending jolts of pleasure dancing across your skin.

you try to lift your head up from miles’ cock but find yourself unable to as miles holds your head in place, his grunts ramping up in volume.

in contrast, jake is quiet as he lines up his cock before the entrance of your cunt again. this time, the slide isn’t slow as jake slams all the way in.

you moan around miles’ cock, seeing your vision blurring at the explosive pleasure that overtakes all of your sensitive cores. miles curses from somewhere in front of you before more of his cock slides into your mouth, the head of it bumping the back of your throat.

your arms go weak and you almost collapse, had it not been for jake pulling you to his chest, his face burrowed on the crook of your neck. he snaps his hips forward, bucking, and it makes miles’ cock slide further down your throat. 

you are delirious from the pleasure, your lungs constricting from the overpowering mating capabilities of your two mates. distantly, you feel drool sliding past your stretched lips, as well as the stinging of your ass as jake’s pelvis continues to slap it with the force of his thrusts.

“y’r takin’ me so well, paskalin,” jake croons, his lips roving over your marked neck. “my sweet girl, y’r pussy’s made f’r me, isn’t it?”

you mewl, trying your best to tell jake that yes, you’re his. you’re theirs. but the garbling sound makes miles buck forward, fully burying himself down your throat. before you can get used to his size, he is sliding his cock out, leaving just the head of it grazing your lips, and you blink your teary eyes at him, not knowing what it is that you want miles to do.

miles grins, something that spells danger, and then he is fucking his cock back into your throat. you squeal, not expecting miles’ sudden move or the way that jake thrusted his cock back in your pussy at the same time that miles did.

you go blind for a second, and you feel a spray coming from your heat, drenching your and jake’s thighs. you do not know what the word for it is – you feel yourself coming down from something akin to a high – but both jake and miles moan at the sight of your leaking cunt, rendering them into a frenzy.

“fuckin’ knew y’r a squirter, sweetheart,” miles growls, his ragged voice slicing through the white noise in your head. “i’d want that on my tongue, next time.”

jake groans, the sound pressed onto your shoulder blades. “she’d look so good sittin’ on our faces,” he says. “she’ll cry so prettily but she won’t leave because my baby girl’s a fuckin’ slut, aren’t you, love?”

you can’t reply, too dizzy with the overlapping scent of jake and miles, the two of them complimenting each other. miles grunts in agreement with whatever jake muttered. 

“she’s gon’ beg so prettily – battin’ those pretty lashes, callin’ me ‘daddy’,” quaritch smirks. 

jake howls, his hips stuttering as he buries himself all the way in your cunt, making your belly bulge once again. you sob at the feeling of being stuffed to the brim, your walls clinging onto his length, still so unused to it even after all his teasing.

“gon’ breed you now, yawne,” jake murmurs, his words slurring like he’s drunk. “gon’ bury my seed in you. you want that, won’t you, my love?” 

jake isn’t even done talking when miles pipes in, his thumbs rubbing soothing nothings along your cheekbones. “swallow carefully, princess. daddy doesn’t wanna see you choke.”

then, he stuffs your throat with his cock, the rough fabric of his cargo rubbing against your chin. you whine when it becomes too difficult to breathe and miles murmurs his apologies, sliding out just enough until you are not smothered. 

explosions of heavy warmth fill you up and you squeal, not expecting the gushing warmth that settles in your belly. jake croons at you throughout, murmuring how good you are taking them, how beautiful you would look swollen with their seed. miles remains quiet, choosing instead to watch as you carefully swallow his seed just as he instructed. 

he boops your nose when the last of it is gone.

miles is the first one to pull out, his cock leaving your lips with a distinct ‘pop’. you cringe at the tangy taste remaining on your tongue and miles just huffs, swiping at your bottom lip before he’s pulling you up from your elbows and propping you on your knees.

jake hisses at the sudden move, but with nothing else to pump out, he pulls his spent cock out of you too. you whimper at the oversensitivity it caused and jake murmurs his apologies, pressing his front to your sweaty back, as though he is trying to meld himself to you.

feeling empty, you collapse in miles’ arms, exhaustion hitting you with its full force. miles hums, pushing your braids away from your sweaty face in his attempts at grooming you clean. jake takes the spot behind you again, careful with your sensitive backside and your limp tail.

there is silence as you catch your breath, trying to ignore the feeling of jake’s seed slowly seeping out of your heat. miles settles on your other side, pulling your head so that it is pillowed by his arms. you smile at him in gratitude, unable to use your throat.

it takes a quiet moment until miles murmurs, “lemme taste y’r cunt next, princess.”

[mimihoonlover]

Kidnapper: I have one of your members.

Jungwon: Which one?

Kidnapper: I have Jay hehehhee.

Jay: WDYM IM RIGHT HERE?!?!

Kidnapper: But he is speaking English, or well trying to speak English.

Jungwon: What is he saying?

Kidnapper: He keeps on saying "how are you"

Jungwon: How are you? Does he have a accent?

Kidnapper: yeah he says it like- wait lemme just- HEY YOU CAN YOU SAY THAT AGAIN-

Kidnapped person: HELLO HAWAIIYOUU

Jungwon: Jake hyung they kidnapped one of our members

Jake: Idc. Which one did they take?

Jungwon:...... Sunghoon....

Jake: MY BABY HOONIE!!!! I WILL FUCKUNG CUT YOU SMALL ASS DICK OFF IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO MY HOONIE UNTIL I GET THERE YOU GOT THAT YOU BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER-

Sunoo while holing Rikis ears shut: Well that escalated quickly.

Meanwhile jake otp with the kidnapper:

YOU DARE TO TAKE AWAY MY ICE PRINCE VAMPIRE BABY GWORL YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU YOU WILL NOT LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY YOU FUCKING SWINE BITCH ASS CUNT-

Jake when he rescued Sunghoon: MY babyyyyyyyyyyyyy Are you okay??

Sunghoon: yesh

Jake: MY sweet little cutie patootie *smooch* *smooch* *smooch*

Enhypen watching fron afar: Someone cover Rikis eyes.

- made by mimihoonlover

[callmearcturus]

1, 2, 7 and/or 8, 13

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

2 and 8 and 13

Already answered.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

/laughs. Jake's POV chapter in KTOWL. I'll grab some excerpts. MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR ACT THREE OF KTOWL.

Ah, Striders. He was becoming uncommonly fond of them. And how could he not? In Abraxas, every vice and temptation flowed like water from a well, and Jake rarely considered any of them. All the designer drugs their apothecaries cooked up, and Jake stuck to good old dextroamphetamine and calmag.

But now that he'd gotten one Strider and glimpsed the other two? Jake wanted in a way he rarely wanted anything. His hands curled when he thought about the Umbral Executor. Oh, he carried a torch for him. Or, a knife, really. The very same Dirk had flung into Jake's shoulder was always on Jake's person, always in a tidy little sheath Jake had put together for it. He'd wear it over his heart if it wouldn't break the line of his shirts.

Not that the lovely accountant was forgotten. Truly, the manner in which he assumed he was forgotten was enough to keep him vivid in Jake's mind. Sorrow hung around him and clung to Jake in his wake, like a bruise he couldn't stop touching, like a sticky remnant that clung to his fingers no matter how much he washed. Sweet and sad, and Jake wanted to drive a knife through Caliborn's skull for the chance to see him smile.

Jake's POV chapter was all about showing off what an absolutely unhinged motherfucker he is, the specificity of him. And the specificity of Jake Abraxas English is so goddamn important for a lot of reasons, but mainly to make him feel as inhuman as possible. He's the head of a drug empire and sticks to his prescriptions. He got stabbed by Dirk and keeps the knife in a handmade sheaf as a sign of devotion. He thinks killing Caliborn would make Dave smile.

Jake hated losing, and picked his battles accordingly. That one, he kept folded up in his pocket, waiting for such a time when he might win. If only she'd realize his winning was to everyone's benefit.

But that was a matter for another night. For now, Jake mixed some of the botanical gin she always had on hand, cucumber, mint, and a splash of St Germain.

A little of this, a little of that, all captured in glass. Jake never drank, but there wasn't much difference between neon and cocktails. There wasn't much difference between neon and anything.

Jake never loses not just because he's a formidable foe and powerful presence Under the Table, but because he selects his fights like he's counting cards against the universe.

And "There wasn't much difference between neon and anything." Not only does Jake have a batshit way of looking at the world, but he applies the same ruleset to everything, from mixology to gunfights to corporate warfare.

"Isn't that rule one? Never put yourself in a position to lose." She came into view with proximity, melting out of the shadows. Her cane tapped very quietly against the dubiously-colored carpet.

"That is what I say, isn't it," Jake murmured, picking up the ball and starting it up again.

Again, specificity with how Jake phrases everything is-- I put TREMENDOUS effort into every word in every sentence. I wanted to foster this idea that Jake was Crafted. He was created by his grandmother to be this exact monster. So he mentions how he manipulates circumstances to always win earlier, then the same thing is said by the woman who created him, trying to imbue this... discomfort to his making.

Once, Rose had snippily asked if Jake had been grown in a vat for just this purpose, his purpose. He had smiled but had not laughed.

(CACKLES)

It was a special kind of fool who cheated his way into Jake's territory and then didn't even have the decency to have arms ready when Jake stepped into the trap.

The knife Dirk had gifted him just a few miles away in an alleyway in this very city seemed a fitting end for this absolute idiot. Drawing it silently, Jake quick-stepped across the plush (silent) rug that ran from the door to the desk.

There was no hesitation; if the troll looked up, he was done for. Jake kicked the back of the fellow's leg hard, buckling it. The troll let out one of those panicked trills, his hand slapping against the desk.

The muscle in that arm corded as he prepared to shove himself back up. Jake grabbed a fistful of hair— his horns were too short to be of any use here— and yanked him back.

The posture pole pressed firmly against Jake's thigh as he shoved the knife against the troll's throat. "Clementine, what a surprise! Have you done something to your hair? New cologne?"

Up to this point, the audience has mostly experienced Jake through Dirk's eyes, and there's always been an unspoken understanding that Jake would not kill Dirk. So when an intruder shows up and annoys Jake, I wanted his response to feel smart and certain and natural to him. I wanted the audience to understand that Jake is fucking dangerous.

"How much do you love him? Because some things you won't get back."

Jake watched Karkat realize his meaning, dark and bitter chocolate melting across Jake's tongue as comprehension dawned on Karkat's face.

Jake is a freak. He tells a guy he likes, who he's taken an immediate shine to, tells the guy "I'm gonna cut off your arm" and Karkat's dawning understanding does for Jake what any Abraxas designer drug does for the masses. He's a monster, and I love him.

[princecoolguy]

why do you have a content warning for jake english? thats really funny

I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. JAKE ENGLISH IS A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER. HE BRAIN GHOSTED MY FUCKING WIFE. THAT'S RIGHT. HE TOOK HIS PAGE OF HOPE FUCKING YAOI DICK OUT AND HE BRAIN GHOSTED MY FUCKING W

[broadway-jake]

Sometimes you show your assets and sometimes you hail them for the public.

A jolly good time working on this performance with @broadway-roxy. The headphone requirement is not for show ;*

We changed only a few lyrics but they and the divvy are below the cut.

JAKE:

I wanna be your slave, 

I wanna be your master

ROXY:

I wanna make your heartbeat

 run like rollercoasters

JAKE:

I wanna be a good boy, 

I wanna be a gangster

ROXY:

'Cause you could be the beauty 

and I could be the monster

I love you since this morning, 

not just for aesthetic

JAKE:

I wanna touch your body, 

so fucking electric

ROXY:

I know you're scared of me, 

you say that I'm too eccentric

JAKE:

I'm crying all my tears 

and that's fucking pathetic

I wanna make you hungry, 

then I wanna feed ya

ROXY:

I wanna paint your face 

like you're my Mona Lisa

JAKE:

I wanna be a champion, 

I wanna be a loser

ROXY:

I'll even be a clown 

'cause I just wanna amuse ya

I wanna be your sex toy, 

I wanna be your teacher

JAKE:

I wanna be your sin, 

I wanna be your preacher

ROXY:

I wanna make you love me, 

then I wanna leave ya

JAKE:

'Cause, baby, I'm your Harley 

and you're my Lord English

Uh-huh

Mhm, uh-huh

ROXY:

Because I'm the devil who's searching for redemption

And I'm a killer who's searching for redemption

And I'm a blonde girl who's searching for redemption

BOTH:

A motherfucking monster who's searching for redemption

JAKE:

And I'm a bad guy who's searching for redemption

And I'm a hunter who's searching for redemption

And I'm a freak that is searching for redemption

BOTH:

A motherfucking monster who's searching for redemption

ROXY:

I wanna be your slave, 

I wanna be your master

JAKE:

I wanna make your heartbeat 

run like rollercoasters

ROXY:

I wanna be a good boy, 

I wanna be a gangster

JAKE:

'Cause you can be the beauty 

and I could be the monster

I wanna make you quiet, 

I wanna make you nervous

ROXY:

I wanna set you free 

but I'm too fucking jealous

JAKE:

I wanna pull your strings 

like you're my Telecaster

ROXY:

And if you want to use me, 

I could be your puppet

JAKE:

'Cause I'm the devil who's searching for redemption

ROXY:

And I'm a hacker who's searching for redemption

JAKE:

And I'm a killer who's searching for redemption

BOTH:

A motherfucking monster who's searching for redemption

BOTH:

I wanna be your slave, I wanna be your master

[bigbangjustified]

Hey, I hope this isn't terrible to ask, but it's been a while since I've seen Jake drawn by you. If you're up for it, could I see him again?

HELL YEAHHHHHHHHH SORRY I'm LATE ON THIS but i'll definitely draw jake sorry for the lack of jakes lately!!!

[davekat-sucks]

Who the hell is that guy. What the fuck is wrong with him. What the hell just happened. What is this savior complex. Just a bunch of WTFs in a trenchcoat right now.

Same motherfucker also believes in this to Jake English.

[pesterloglog]

Jake English, Jane Crocker, Dirk Strider

Page 627-632

JAKE: Oh flip.

JAKE: Sorry janey i was handling an urgent matter.

JAKE: Had to pop down the little boys office to shred some important papers.

JANE: What?

JAKE: Im spending a penny at the local water closet.

JANE: Jake.

JAKE: Im in the bathroom.

JANE: Oh.

JANE: UGH!

JANE: You are always in the bathroom these days!

JAKE: Well my job is to taste test all your water for poison,

JAKE: dear.

JAKE: Forgive my impertinence but perhaps if you trusted the troops more, we could avoid all of this folderol and i could be promoted to standing by your side?

JAKE: Thatd help my besieged bladder, for sure.

JANE: Not happening.

JAKE: Oh! Of course!

JAKE: Silly me.

JAKE: May i ask... why?

JAKE: Not to make a tit of myself here.

JAKE: But wouldnt an enemy spy be childs play to spot, seeing as our troops share such similar faces?

JAKE: Pretty much the exact same face?

JANE: I once thought it an asset too!

JANE: How clever I saw myself...

JANE: "Hoo hoo! We'll avoid instating a draft by cloning an army!"

JANE: "Unprecedented genius!"

JANE: "Brand consistency!"

JANE: Of course, I realize now that if any serviceman developed mutinous, deviant intentions, he could simply slink back into the safety of the crowd.

JANE: The perfect cover for a tiger amongst zebras.

JAKE: Grrr...

JAKE: Friggin double agents, man.

DIRK: (Amazing. Can I get a cherry on top of that?)

JAKE: Why i oughta... the very thought!

DIRK: (Fuck yes. Marlon Brando in the motherfucking building.)

JANE: Exactly. It's horrifying.

JANE: Thankfully I have practiced instinct where assassination is concerned.

JANE: An instinct that has only sharpened in the wake of... recent tragedies.

JANE: I won't be lulled into any such false sense of security this time, that's for sure!

JAKE: Is that why the old henhouse has been feeling a bit spacious recently?

JANE: I may have a handful or so of men in the brig.

JANE: For safekeeping.

JANE: They have snacks! A water trough.

JANE: All unpoisoned, might I add.

JANE: Who gives a toot anyways, we'll be depositing them out onto the battlefield soon enough.

JAKE: Speaking of the battle...

JAKE: What was the pre-established plan, again?

JAKE: Just trying to refresh my simple mind on the details.

JAKE: Especially the ones that situate our son near The Point.

JAKE: I take it we have protocols in place a tad more delicate than simply "bombs away!"

JAKE: Right?

JANE: Sigh.

JANE: Jake, do you remember when I went to the moon?

JAKE: Uuuuuuuuuuuuh.

JANE: No? It was a huge deal.

JAKE: Was this around the time all those carapacians took a big chunk out of it?

JANE: Yes!

JANE: You see, prior to that expedition, I'd been cooking up a contingency plan, of sorts.

JANE: I put some serious man-hours into it.

JANE: If things were to go tines up, our last line of defense is a machine that will emit a guided beam to a location of my choosing.

DIRK: (A laser?)

JAKE: So were destroying The Point now?

JANE: No!

JANE: No, no, no, no.

JANE: Definitely not.

JANE: We are *capturing* The Point.

JANE: But if we don't...

JAKE: Ah.

JAKE: Contingency plan.

JANE: Contingency plan indeed.

JANE: A surgical, precise, and most importantly *unexpected* means of victory, with virtually no crossfire.

JAKE: Does that seem...

JAKE: Sound?

JANE: You know, Jake, you've been giving me the 3rd degree all day.

JAKE: Hm?

JANE: You're typically content stumbling through life as a soft-headed bimbo, and it's only now of all times you start showing stark, pointed interest in happenings outside of yourself?

JANE: I find that odd.

JANE: Suspicious even.

JAKE: Erm...

JANE: You're thinking, "She's a bad mother," aren't you?

DIRK: (Here we go.)

JANE: Don't you try to deny it.

JANE: I see you, up there on your high horse.

JANE: Interrogating me!

JANE: As if you have the right!

JANE: Just what did *you* do, besides whimper like a kicked dog, as they took our boy away!?

JANE: "TAVVY!"

JANE: You can fly, you idiot!

JANE: You're such a harmless, dunderheaded fucking nonentity that those seditious connivers would have *let* you tail them!

DIRK: (Ouch.)

JANE: Everything he has, *I've* provided.

JANE: Everything he is, *I've* nurtured!

JAKE: (Criminy, bro, she has a death laser.)

JAKE: (Like goldfinger.)

JANE: Remember how I willed him out of my body, 3 months premature, because I was so excited to see him?

JAKE: (The rebellion isnt prepared for that.)

JAKE: (What are they going to do?)

DIRK: (Fuck if I know, refract it off Commander Vantas' massive tits?)

JAKE: (Were going to lose.)

JANE: You might be a primo actor, English, with that perfect smile and that stupid, sexy fake accent.

JANE: But you are not a caring individual.

JANE: My Dad...

JANE: He had so much love in him that you could feel it when he entered the room.

JANE: Across all the iterations of yourself, do you think your children ever felt even a MODICUM of that?

JANE: Jade? Terrifying,

JANE: I hate even thinking about it.

JANE: And I don't doubt for a second that there were more.

JANE: How do you imagine they turned out?

JAKE: (I finally grew the gumption to get off the back foot, and were all going to meet the reaper regardless.)

JANE: Let's face it. I held you accountable.

JANE: Without me, you'd have left Tavros behind in a peanut factory.

JANE: Asphyxiating on the floor, crying "Daddy, where are you! Daddy!"

DIRK: (Dude.)

JAKE: (JOLLY JESUS FUCKING CHRISTMAS!!!)

JANE: What the fresh hell are you mumbling to yourself?

JANE: Y-

JAKE: WILL YOU SHUT YOUR GODDAMN CAKE HOLE!!!!!!!

JANE: !!!!!!

JAKE: Listen to you, lecturing me about parenting and flagellating me with fucking... infanticidal peanut snuff fantasies!

JAKE: Tavros isnt even allergic to peanuts anymore!

JANE: What?

JAKE: Hes been cured since he was thirteen!

JANE: How????

JAKE: Gamzee.

JAKE: Via some vile cosmic caper or another it is *always* gamzee!

JAKE: He found out!

JAKE: Started rambling on and on about "how motherfuckin' malicious" it was to see "A dIfFeReNtLy AbLeD bRoThEr MiSsIn' OuT oN tHe NiRvAnA oF tHaT nUtTy MoThErFuCkIn' NeCtAr."

DIRK: (Why are you doing the voice?)

JAKE: "ThErE's WhOlEsOmE, hOlIsTiC hEaLiNg PrOpErTiEs AlL uP aNd StUfFeD iNtO tHe HaRmOnIoUs UnIoN oF pB aNd J."

DIRK: (You don't need to do the voice.)

JAKE: "WhAt EvEn Is ThIs SuLtRy BiTcH oF a LiFe WiThOuT a LiTtLe PeAnUt BuTtEr JeLlY tImE?"

DIRK: (It'd be so sick if you stopped doing the voice.)

JAKE: Then he pulled the "OuR dUtY aS sTrOnG mAlE mOtHeRfUcKiN' mOdElS iS tO nUrTuRe AnD gUiDe ThAt LoSt LiTtLe LeGuMe-InToLeRaNt LaMb," card.

JAKE: "We StRaIgHt Up GoT tO bE tHe ChAnGe WhAt AlL nObOdY eLsE eVeR gOt DoWn To BeInG iN tHe WoRlD, fOr ThE lItTlE nEgLeCtEd NuGgEtS *wE* aLl WaS."

DIRK: (Fuck me, then.)

JANE: He always felt you two had a common tragic upbringing.

JAKE: I know...

JAKE: After that, the insane clown started stowing peanuts around the mansion, tricking little tavvy into eating them!

JAKE: Poor squirt was thrashing throat-first into anaphylactic shock bi-weekly.

JAKE: I epipenned him so many times, i learned needlekind!

JAKE: Worried myself as sick as our boy was, just wishing that nutty nightmare would nix.

JAKE: Then, wham.

JAKE: It did!

JAKE: Thank god!

JANE: I-

JANE: I had no idea.

JAKE: Of course you didnt!

JAKE: You werent there!

JAKE: You might have expelled him into existence with your easy-bake tuna canoe.

JAKE: But i kept him alive!

JAKE: I raised him!

JAKE: Nelsons knickers, half the time it feels like "uncle" fucking gamzee had more hand in his upbringing than you did!

JANE: Oh... my...

JANE: I never... took a second to stop and think...

JANE: I don't remember when he took his first steps.

JANE: Or what his favorite food is.

JANE: I didn't even fucking breast feed him!

DIRK: (Which is fucking crazy, all things considered.)

JANE: I don't... even know what his first word was.

JAKE: It was "honk."

JANE: Jesus Christ.

JANE: He must hate me.

JAKE: Oh, janey...

JANE: It's true.

JANE: Look at the way he acted during the hostage negotiations.

JANE: His life was threatened, and Tavros didn't call out to me once!

JANE: Like he... he knew I had other concerns.

JAKE: Well,

JAKE: You do.

JANE: Do you think I want to?

JANE: I wanted this family!

JANE: I can't help how much goddamn pressure I'm under!

JAKE: Nobody asked you to shoulder any of that.

JAKE: ...Dear.

JANE: I had to!

JANE: The rest of you couldn't be trusted!

JANE: None of you even bothered to graduate high school!

JANE: While you were all being shut-ins, and self-destructing, and fucking... cavorting!!! I was making public appearances.

JANE: Somebody had to represent us, so people wouldn't assume the worst!

JANE: They waited 5000 years for us, and for what? To see there was no plan, no reason, that none of their gods were really on their side.

JANE: I had to become an adult before ANY of you decided to catch up.

JANE: Sigh.

JANE: If Tavros never felt any love from me, it's because I barely had anything left to give.

JANE: No wonder you both left.

JAKE: !!!!!!!

JAKE: Er... im not following.

JANE: Come on, now, Jakey. When you went to go stay with John.

JAKE: Zooks, you knew id skittered away this whole time?

JAKE: And you arent mad?

JAKE: Why?

JANE: Because I love you, you bobo.

JANE: I have loved you since I was 13.

JANE: Sure, going off the map right after my father died was not the kindest timing.

JANE: But you were always going to come back.

JANE: And I mastered forgiving you a long time ago.

JANE: I even forgave you for Dirk.

JAKE: Forgave me for... for being with him?

JANE: What?

JANE: No, I was always an ally first when it came to that.

JANE: What's a... a dalliance between bros, really?

DIRK: (Word.)

JANE: I'm referring to his death.

DIRK: (Oh, what the fuck.)

JANE: Not saying it's all your fault.

DIRK: (Wow.)

JANE: Dirk just never *got* you.

JANE: He thought he could figure you out, make all the right moves, and you'd be happy.

JANE: But people have to want themselves to be happy.

JANE: And the only thing you've ever consistently wanted was to be absolved.

JANE: I understand that now.

JAKE: ... And?

JANE: And I accept you, Jake!

JANE: That's why I have confidence our union will endure forever.

JANE: You release me of all my doubts. And I can't be disappointed by you.

JAKE: Huh...

DIRK: (Hm.)

JANE: I...

JANE: Oh, fucking... pixie sticks.

JANE: I have to leave for the bridge.

JANE: The enemy is moving into position as we speak.

JAKE: Do you...

JAKE: Do you still need that water tested?

JANE: Haha, no.

JANE: I drank it all in my hysterics without even noticing.

JAKE: And youre okay?

JANE: Completely fine! It really was just... water.

JAKE: I had hoped!

JANE: Hoo hoo, thank you. :B

JANE: ...

JANE: Listen, Jake.

JANE: I won't be able to really talk for some time once this whole final battle shebang kicks off, but I need you to know.

JANE: I am sorry.

JANE: For a lot of things.

JANE: I promise.

JANE: I just need you to believe in me a little while longer.

JAKE: Of course janey... of course.

JAKE: I... love you.

JANE: I know, J.

JANE: I know.

[yourimagines]

Problems

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Triggers: swearing, fluff

- Summary: Doesn’t matter where Nick goes, there is always a problem

Y/N POV

We both walked into the stadium, following a security guard to our seats. Nick was walking behind me, always in protective mood. “Here are your seats.” The guy said while pointing at the seats. “Thank you.” I said with a small smile. Nick just nodded. We both took a seat, it’s was very crowded. “Do you want something to drink?” “Yeah sure.” Nick stood up. “I’ll be right back then.” I smiled at him, he walked away to get us some drinks. I started to look around, I saw some familiar faces but also a lot of strangers. “Hello, you Y/N right?” A guy appeared in front of me. I looked up at him. “Yes that’s me.” He held out his hand. “I’m Logan.” I looked a bit better to his face and saw it was Logan Paul. “I’m Y/N, but you already knew that.” He smiles. “Your not alone are you?” “No, I’m with Nick here.” “Nick’s here?” I nodded. “Well I hope you can tell him this, I wanna fight him.” ‘Great, I’m the mailman today.’ “I’ll wil tell him you said hi.” He smiles. “I also wanted to say, my brother and I are sitting two rows to the left, just so you know.” “Thank you for your warning.” “No problem, you seem like a nice person.” I just smiled, hoping for Nick to return. “Well have a great night y/n.” “Thanks, you too.” As Logan walked away, Nick returned. “What did he want?“ he gave me my drink and sat down. “A fight with you.” “Motherfucker, did he insulted you?” I grabbed his free hand and squeezed it. “No he didn’t, he did warned me, his brother and himself are sitting two rows away from us.” “Which side.” “Left side.” He looked at that direction, searching for them. “Nick, everything is fine, I didn’t feel threatened.” “Nobody walks up to my girl and call me out for a fight.” He tried to stand up but I hold him back, holding his arm. “Nick sit down, I don’t want you get in trouble.” He looked at me and nodded. “Okay, I’m not doing anything.” I smiled at him. “Good, let’s enjoy our night.”

The fights where all over. Nick stood up, shielding me from people bumping into me. I grabbed my purse and stood up. “You walk in front of me, So I can see you.” “Okay.” I walked in front of him, guiding us through the crowd. Nick held my hand at some point. “Stay close to me.” It was so crowded that we didn’t even moved forward to the exit. Then I heard a annoying voice, I looked beside me. Jake Paul was laughing around. I quickly squeezed three times in Nick’s hand, alarming him. “What’s wrong.” “To your right.” I felt him pulling me against him. “Nick, don’t let it escalate, we can’t move here.” Nick started to push us to a different direction. “We’re not going to wait here with them next to me.” He pushed us out of the crowd. “Finally some space.” He guided us to a different exit. “We need to walk a bit longer to our car but it’s better then being stuck there.” He wrapped his arm around me and hold me close. “Let’s go home.” We walk almost around the whole stadium to get to the parking lot where our car was standing.

I saw our car in the distance. “Almost done.” I said jokingly. “Hey! Where is your brother Nick.” We both turned to our left. Jake stood there with his crew. Nick didn’t say anything. “Did you hear me, where Nate, to scared?” Nick pulled me behind him, completely shielding me. “What do you want?” “You next in the ring.” “Your brother was first.” I tried to peek, but Nick felt that and pushed me back. “But he is a WWE fighter, I’m the real one.” “Are you?” Jake starts to laugh. “I defeated your brother Nate.” “In a different devision.” Nick stepped backwards. “Don’t move closer.” Nick said. “I just wanna talk.” “I’m not interested in you or your brother.” “Come on man, don’t be like that.” I carefully grabbed his arm, Nick looked briefly at me. “Listen, I don’t want anymore trouble, we’re just going.” “Is she scared, honey we don’t have a problem with you, only with your man Nick over there.” “Watch your mouth.” Nick pointed at them. “It’s the truth Diaz, don’t be angry now.” Then things got out of control. Someone threw a bottle at us, Nick pushed me to the car. “Get in the car.” I did what I was told and looked out the window. Nick started to yell, Jake was acting tuff behind his security. “Come then, I’ll break every damn finger of yours, Motherfucker.” Jake did a clown dance. Nick walked slowly back to the car, holding eye contact with them. “Your scared Nick?“ he stopped holding his hands up. “I’m here homie, your hiding behind your followers.” ‘Please get in the car.’ “I hope you don’t walk on these streets anymore, I’ll fucking whoop your ass.” Nick said before he entered the car. “Your okay?” “Yes are you?” He nodded. “Scared little bitch.” He started the car and drove off “Why are there always people who want beef with you, every damn time we go out, there is a problem.” I said with a tiny smile on my face. “People love me.” He said with a smile on his face. “Your just a troublemaker.” I joked. “Me? No way.” He said sarcastically. “I didn’t know we had also beef then, since I love you.” He laughs. “Okay smart ass.” He lays his hand on my thigh. “I love you.” He says while gently squeezing my thigh.

[aqueeracademic]

morse being queer (and other commentary) pt 13:

season 4, episode 1, “Game”:

- season 4!! let’s go

- need me some gay stuff

- season three was not very fruity

- wtf instrument is this lady playing

- thursday is such an asshole sometimes it’s a wonder i like him

- trewlove is perfect in every way

- “where do you stand with all that?” “suicide?” “love.”

- morse and debryn supremacy!!!

- look i KNOW morse thinks of joan when debryn referenced the “one that got away” but…. don’t you think they could be talking about jakes too?

- because i think they’re talking about jakes

- morse’s papers going missing is SO frustrating

- people hate to see my boy succeed and i’m sick of it!

- i know thursday is sad because of joan but morse has every right to be frustrated with him

- at the same time…

- morse copes by working

- with everhthing

- if anything upsets him he goes to work and locks in

- so i can see how he wouldn’t be particularly understanding of thursday not being able to push through and he should try better to be sympathetic

- i still think he has every right to be frustrated w him tho

- tessa knight 🤢🤮🤮🤮

- thursday is SO MEANNNNNNNN

- and for what!

- these scientists are gay <3

- they bicker like a couple and then immediately try to take care of each other it’s adorable

- morse speaking russian 🥰🥰🥰

- i’m giggling

- i love that bright is always so dramatically impressed when morse does something well

- bright and trewlove are so 🤞🥺 i’m obsessed with them

- trewlove showing that sexist motherfucker UP

- I LOVE HER

- “it’s not my place to say.”

- he is. so catty.

- these parents deserve so much better i feel so terrible for them

- thursday’s way of “making it up” to morse is so annoying

- i know he feels bad for hurting morse but just talk to him

- we all know we doesn’t care about validation or congratulations

- like he knows that! and yet 🫤

- the russian man being fully capable of speaking english and just choosing not to do so is so funny to me

- i already don’t like journalists about 60% of the time but this girl is ESPECIALLY annoying and i hate her

- this author is kinda…

- morse obviously doesn’t wanna talk to this author about his job so why on earth did he pull up to the guys house

- that’s my question!

- is it just because he’s….

- because he is!

- morse would be right

- ofc he quickly ends up disliking him but it’s the hope in that situation that matters 🙄

- also morse telling him that police work is boring in real life as if he didn’t get attacked by a tiger and experience all the events of The Great Gatsby is wild

- just straight up lying at this point

- STEALING FROM A POLICE OFFICER?????

- you stole. from a police officer.

- i cannot believe she is like this 😐 i hate her sm

- and of course the same day he finds out that he is being intentionally sabotaged is the day he’s being berated for “losing his notebook”

- cannot catch a break

- at least he and thursday are trying to make up

- these scientists are SO GAY (the awkward one w the glasses and the snobby one with the mouse)

- teasing him while massaging him and then putting his hand on his waist when he gets up

- Science Bros™️

- i don’t like her and all that but tessa didn’t deserve to die 🫤

- the face casts are so upsetting

- makes my damn skin crawl

- the odds of morse finding that paper in the doll were positively MINUSCULE he literally just can’t keep his hands to himself

- justice for frazil i just want her to be happy

- incest should never be the answer in a murder investigation tbh

- or like… even an idea of what happened

- grody tbh!

- NO FRAZIL NO

- aw GODDAM IT

- THE LITTLE GAY SCIENTIST IS THE KILLER

- i’m so upset

- i thought he and the mouse man had something 🫤🫤

- they would have been so cute

- but no he’s not gay he’s fucking incestuous

- i’m mad 🙄🙄🙄🙄

- morse finally driving his car at a reasonable speed

- GO FRAZIL GO

- NO FRAZIL NO

- i stg if anything happened to her i would lose my mind i’m so glad she’s okay

- morse just roasting the killer to get him to surrender is… a choice

- “you have to make a stand somewhere. they’re not going to drive me out.”

- YOU TELL EM MORSE

- morse has lost everyone he’s loved and all he had left is the place he loves and he will not leave and i love him for it

[shhisp]

hello meri. how do u feel ab jake english with a pussy

SPECTACULAR. BREATHTAKING. BREEDABLE

The thing about Jake is that his trans narrative reads very similar whether you hc him as AFAB or AMAB (at least imo.) Jake's entire character is about him learning to accept who he is (a girly motherfucker) instead of the manly man he thinks he has to be. I think every instance of Jake will ALWAYS identify some part with girlhood and for transmasc Jake this is absolutely no exception. Doesn't make him any less genderfucked in the head, though.

So yes. I love this. It makes a shit ton of sense for his character. Even his name being Fucking Jake is giving extreme transmasc. Also Dirk loves it but that is truly a tale for another day