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mrs-elsie-barnes · 3 days ago
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Policy and Procedure | Part 1 | Congressman!Bucky x Reader| 2.4k
A visit from Sam leaves Bucky with a new assistant and a heap of new problems, mostly that Bucky's staring problem seems to have returned.
Warnings: 18+ for language, Bucky's horny fantasising and Joaquín's teasing.
This part is a fill for the @avengers-assemble-bingo Birthday Bingo "another year wiser, another year bolder.". I haven't used the words exactly, more the sentiment, mostly in the second section.
Masterlist | Policy & Procedure Masterlist | Bucky Barnes
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"Mr Barnes?"
Bucky looked up from his desk and rubbed his forehead, "yes?"
The security guard gave him a pitying look before pushing the door open a little more. "Captain America here to see you, sir."
"Sam," Bucky smiled through his fatigue and stood from his desk. His shoulder was a little cramped from sitting for so long at his keyboard, but it didn't stop him from pulling Sam into a tight hug. "Great to see you, Cap, come in, take a seat."
Bucky brushed a hand through his hair, a little longer than he'd been accustomed to wearing it, but neatly combed back expect from one stray strand that refused to stay put.
"Good to see you too, Buck." Sam slapped Bucky on the back, "I hope you don't mind, I brought someone with me. Joaquín said you were -uh - " Sam surveyed the piles of papers, campaign leaflets and letters strewn about Bucky's desk.
"Drowning?" Bucky allowed himself a laugh.
"Yeah, drowning, exactly. He said you were drowning and I know a guy, who knows someone, who knows someone, and their daughter needed a job and ya know I'm a man of the people, helping out. Thought you could use an assistant."
"An assistant?"
Bucky sat back in his chair, Sam leaning forwards in his.
"She's very highly recommended, I promise, and I cleared it with Mrs Grumpy Pants out there."
"My campaign manager?"
"Yeah yeah. She agreed. So. Do you wanna meet her?"
"Sure, sure. I hope she knows what she's getting herself in to."
Sam waved through the still open door and Bucky took the two second opportunity to arrange his papers a little more. Whoever this friend of a friend was must be some sort of enemy to find herself in this mess. Eight weeks to go before polls opened and here he was without even an assistant. Who was he kidding.
The sound of heels reminded Bucky he'd need to actually be awake and alert to greet someone new, eyes training back towards the door just in time to see you enter.
He'd been expecting someone…older, definitely. One of Wilson's parent's friends, someone nice and motherly and just the right side of bossy to keep everything in line…but you were. God.
Bucky clenched his left fist trying to differ some of the rising flush he felt below his belt.
You were, of course, dressed professionally. A smart black skirt suit and baby blue shirt, but did the skirt have to cling to your hips like that, the fabric an oil slick down your thighs to your knees. The sheen on your calves told him you were wearing pantyhose, not the cheap nylon kind, nice ones, and he had the image of an old fashioned garter beneath that pencil skirt, the way your bare thighs would touch between where your stockings ended and your panties started.
He flicked his eyes up from what he hoped would look like the floor, and not your legs, but that was almost worse. Your jacket was unbuttoned , your shirt artfully open above your breasts, but when you swapped your folder from one arm to the other, he could see the peak of a white bra beneath.
Why the fuck had Sam brought him a wet fucking dream.
"Good afternoon, Mr Barnes, Sir. Pleasure to meet you." Without missing a beat you held your manicured hand out for him to shake, delicate fingers firm under his own. You introduced yourself and pulled a resume from your folder, handing it over with a flourish.
"Lovely to meet you too, please, take a seat." Bucky rushed back to his own, hoping you hadn't been looking at him quite as closely as he'd been looking at you.
Behind you, Sam grinned devilishly.
"I hope my resume is sufficient, but I have three references you can call and of course, Mr Wilson has agreed to be a fourth if necessary." You turned and smiled at Sam politely giving Bucky the opportunity to shoot him a murderous look.
"I'm sure that won't be necessary, we need all the hands - help - we can get around here."
"Wonderful, I can start straight away, if you'd like?" Your dark lashes accentuating your wide, eager eyes.
"How about you take the afternoon to speak with my campaign manager, she's the very angry woman with the big button on her shirt just out there, and you start tomorrow at nine am sharp?"
"That sounds wonderful, thank you, Mr Barnes."
You stood to go, collecting your little bag and folder and Bucky was all prepared to rip into Sam before the other man could burst out laughing when you stopped at the door.
"What do you like for breakfast, Mr Barnes?"
"Excuse me?" Bucky choked, images of you laying in his bed, sheets tumbled around you as you both drank coffee and ate coissants leapt into his mind.
"I assume you must be so busy, you eat breakfast here? I saw take out in your bin and assumed - I'm sorry." You flustered for the first time and, if anything, it was even more endearing.
"A black coffee, no sugar. That would be lovely, thank you."
"Of course, sir, see you in the morning." You gave a last smile, shutting the door behind you.
Sir
Bucky was officially hard and officially screwed.
"She's cute, right?" Sam smirked.
"Fucking hell, Samuel."
"You're welcome!"
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Bucky stared into the mirror above the little sink in his bathroom. That bit of hair still wasn't behaving, but at least it hid the new grey he'd found the night before. Speaking off, his beard was definitely lighter than it had been. More crows feet too.
Another year older. At least he got to age now, some days it felt like a gift to see e himself change day to day, year to year. Sam had pointed out the salt and pepper in his beard on his last birthday and he'd been oddly thrilled to experience the passage of time normally.
But it made him feel stunted too. He wasn't entirely sure he'd become any wiser for his supposed years. He'd aged so much and, yet, he felt so young. Steve had said the same, when they'd had time to talk, that in his first year out of the ice everyone had treated him like a man in his nineties, rather than a man in his twenties.
With a sigh he picked up his moisturiser and set to work, 110 swipes, one for every year of his ridiculously long life. The overly perfumed lady on the counter had said it would "turn back time", he wasn't sure that was exactly what he wanted, he'd come to terms with his new life quite nicely. But after years of experiments and therapy, he was finally feeling like himself again, that naive twenty something who'd shipped out, yet he looked like his dad.
His former self would've already asked you out on a date, snuggled up to you in some supply closet and kissed you silly. But then his former self wasn't running for congress. He didn't have the same public responsibilities.
Perhaps he could do that. He might not be a young buck anymore, chasing girls around Brooklyn. But he knew he looked a certain way to women, professional, accomplished, suited and booted in the same way all the dames liked back in the 40s as well. Was this this really what he was thinking about, sweeping his assistant off her feet on the first day.
"Jesus," he wiped his hands on the towel by the door and shrugged his shirt on. Light blue. Had he done that subconsciously? What would you be wearing today?
Hopefully something in the professionally inappropriate range like sweat pants or the worlds largest t-shirt so he wasn't tempted to peak at your body again. Rather than the inappropriate outfit he'd imagined you in last night when he came into his palm. Black lingerie, stockings with the line up the back, heels, bent over his desk and calling him sir in that floaty way that made he half hard again.
He looked into the mirror again in the hall before leaving, "get it together, Barnes."
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"Good morning, Mr Barnes."
You would be here early, wouldn't you.
"Good morning -" he caught himself before he could say it, the doll, sweetheart, darlin' tickling the end of his tongue. Inappropriate workplace behaviour. Inappropriate behaviour full stop. How old were you anyway?
"I got you a coffee, sir." You handed the cup over with a smile, a napkin wrapped around the scalding paper cup. "If you have a mug you prefer, I'm happy to decant it for you tomorrow."
"This is great, don't worry about it." Bucky hurried to his desk, throwing his briefcase onto a spare chair and trying to look busy so you would leave him alone to catch himself.
"Is there anything I can help with this morning? I'm a great typist, if you have any letters, or I could file something, I'll stuff envelopes, I don't mind."
Bucky looked up. The same tight little skirt suit. A pink blouse this morning, silkier, and your heels were different too, little t-bars crossing your stocking feet.
"Uhmm…" He surveyed the mess of his office, "I hate to ask, but could you do something about all of, well, this-" he gestured vaugly to the abundance of papers and envelopes.
"Do you have a filing system you prefer?"
"Not really, ladies choice, whatever you think is best."
"Okay, sir. I'll get right on it."
And then you took your shoes off and knelt daintily on the ground in front of his desk and began organising. Skirt stretched over your thighs.
"Great, thank you, I'll just be…uh. Over here." He sat awkwardly in his chair and pretended to read an email on his blank laptop.
"Yes, sir."
He was doomed.
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Somehow Bucky managed to get through the rest of the day, no thanks to the way you crawled about on the rug in front of his desk, neatly ordering papers, letters, constituent enquiries, a small pile of fan mail and, apparently, two hateful letters than you'd taken outside and given to a member of security. Bucky only knew about the last two because his campaign manager, Sharon, had told him off for not bringing them to her attention sooner.
Hands up in surrender he'd backed into his office, where you'd retrieved his lunch and set it out on a real plate with a napkin.
Sharon said I could take half an hour for lunch, will be back at 1.30 x
Bucky stared at your neat handwriting, had you meant to a leave a little kiss at the end? If he'd been here would you have placed that kiss on his cheek?
He settled into his chair, eyes closed, and imagined you placing the plate on his desk, bending down and setting your lip gloss shiny lips to his cheek, leaving a sticky imprint behind. Would his beard be rough against your soft skin? Would you like that?
"Mr Barnes?"
Bucky sat up with a start, "yes, Sharon?"
"Urgent call on line one, sir."
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"So-" Sam set the beer in front of Bucky, condensation sweating down the sides. It was a hot evening in DC, even on the balcony of Sam's apartment the breeze wasn't strong enough to take away the cloying heat. "How's it going."
He had that knowing smirk plastered on his face that Bucky hated so much.
"On the campaign?"
"With your new assistant!"
"She's great, very efficient."
"Is that it?"
"That's it," Bucky shrugged, slugging back his beer.
She was a distraction, a menace to society, she was too attractive, too attentive, too everything. And she knew Sam, or she'd known his parents or her parents or something. How could he admit such despicable thoughts about anyone, let alone someone important enough to Sam that he helped her get a job.
"You're a closed book man, how's anyone ever suppose to be your friend?"
"I dunno," Bucky took another drink, closing his eyes and turning his face into the late evening sun, "but you manage it somehow. How're you, wanna share any Captain American exploits?"
"You know I'm not allowed." Sam looked at Bucky from the corner of his eye.
"Never stopped you before."
"I guess not-"
The bell rang obnoxiously for a few seconds, followed by the sound of Joaquín's voice, "hey, where are you guys!"
"Out here, kid." Bucky called lazily over his shoulder.
"Didn't I tell you that key was for emergencies only!" Sam lept up, bustling about in his kitchen taking the bags of snacks and beer Joaquín had brought with him. The man himself slipped past and out onto the balcony.
"Barnes."
"Torres."
The two men nodded at each other before Joaquín's face split into a wide grin, "good to see you old man, you look good, like the beard." He punched Bucky's cheek with his fist gently.
"Fuck off," Bucky laughed back, "just because you can't grow one." He cuffed Joaquín over the head before offering him a beer. "How's being the Falcon?"
"Awesome. How's having a hot secretary?" Joaquín smiled around his beer.
"Jesus christ."
"Ahh go on, humour me, is she cute? I saw a glimpse of her last week when you were at the thing-" Joaquín snapped his fingers trying to remember, "man it was boring, she looked good. Well done."
"Don't -" Bucky hissed.
"Is it a secret that she's hot?" Joaquín whispered back, "because man oh man I don't think that's a secret she's just walking around all day lookin' fine and -"
"Sam knows her, be quiet." Bucky's jaw ticked and Joaquín made a zipping gesture over his lips.
"Didn't deny it though, old man." He cocked an eyebrow. "Ya know you're allowed to find her hot, I won't tell anyone. You're also allowed to fuck still-"
Bucky coughed again, choking on his beer.
"The salt and pepper, the suits," Joaquín tipped his head from side to side, "daddy," he said empathically.
"Do you ever shut up?" Bucky groaned, hiding his blush behind his beer.
He had heard the phrase before and he hated to admit the zing of pleasure he felt at the thought of being able to take care of someone like that, to be in control, to be older and wiser and capable of being the sensible one.
"Look I'll shut up when you -"
Bucky cuffed him again playfully and Joaquín went quiet just in time for Sam to step back out, chips and dips in hand.
"What did I miss?"
"Nothing." Bucky snapped too quickly, guilt already eating him up. Joaquín was right, everyone could see you, beautiful and radiant, and him. A brainwashed ex-soldier clawing a life back for himself; 40 at best, 110 at worst.
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Part 2 ->
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shatcey · 2 days ago
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Lost in the lustful elixir (Fun with Ally)
Even so the event is have a very obvious topic and content… I won't talk about it. Sorry, not sorry. Maybe a bit.
First...
I strongly disagree with this…
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And it's the same in the premium ending.
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Kate always defended Ally if someone said that he was incapable of love. She always believed in him. She never doubted. And here she simply agreed. It's pretty weird. Did she start doubting after she dated him for a while? Considering how much he has invested in this relationship and how much he has changed… it's pretty sad.
Actually, I think we have perfect taste. Thank you very much!
The next part will be better…
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Ally and Oggy (let's try a new nickname for once) playing kids again…
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You know better than anyone that Oggy knows how to relax. You're drinking with him!
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Ally doesn't seem happy about it. Could it be… he is really afraid of Vivi? If so, then this is the first father-figure that boys are truly afraid of. The boys were constantly teasing Sirius (IkeRev). I really hate it when they call him old. HE'S NOT OLD!!! Abel (IkeVamp) can't control any of the boys, they literally do whatever they want, the same with Vlad. Sari (IkePri) is scary, but only Bell is afraid of him. Nobu (IkeSen) is scary too, but he's the boss, and they respect him. So it's different. I know that Vivi is also the boss. But he will always be "daddy" to me. He's too cute…
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Awwwwwww… Of course, Daddy!!
Or he's not afraid, but… as Ally himself said…
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"I'm a good boy… Don't scold me." (squeak) He's so cute!
And, of course, Ally couldn't just let it go… so there was a little revenge later…
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Children!
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Ciele (@judesmoonbeauty) what the hell is Jude's girl doing here?
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And more than that… she's flirting with Roger.
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And according to his words in the epilogue… she had been chasing him for a while…
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This girl knows what she wants
It can't be the same Isla, right?
So… This ANOTHER Isla is…
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I totally agree with that. I think you look much better…
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I mentioned this then talk about the Secret ending… she really said "eat him". Let's start from the beginning.
Kate noticed the devouring stares of people directed at Alfons…
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Yes, she's selfish, and I totally understand that, who would agree to share this guy with anyone else (I'm still considering Elbert and somtimes Vivi… not now girl!), but the most she could think about was protecting him. Despite the fact she was jealous… her first priority was his well-being.
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So she was very worried. And… my logic in the SE is probably correct. That's one of the reasons he did what he did.
And in the dramatic ending, he really offered…
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Right… the meaning is completely different if you know the context.
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And it's just a challenge to the imagination…
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So… she's standing on her knees… okay… his leg is in there somewhere… but… her "bud" is closer to the toe of his shoe, not the heel… So, how did he do that??? He lifted his foot… to her stomach or something?
In the SE there were words that he used his toes… but in the process… you know, she works with… him… and at the same time, he somehow manages to… move his foot. One wrong move, and she literally eats him. WTF? Okay… Maybe I'm exaggerating…
It was a lot of fun! I laughed so hard I cried. I hope you enjoyed it too.
dividers by @.sweetmelodygraphics
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🔝 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕋 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔼 🔝
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leviackermanscleaningbuddy · 18 hours ago
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SKZ DRABBLE-Seo Changbin
When you're in a constant, never ending battle inside your own head, who better to call upon than the God of War himself? or A retelling of Ares and Aphrodite where you're the good girl beaten down by a toxic relationship, he's the morally grey 'bad' guy with a motorcycle, and maybe, just maybe, each other is exactly what you both needed.
Tags: SKZ, Stray Kids, Stay, SKZ x you, SKZ x reader, Skz Greek Gods AU, Ares, Aphrodite, femreader, y/n, seo changbin, changbin, bin, skz changbin, changbin x you, changbin x reader, seo changbin x you, seo changbin x reader, skz imagines, skz reactions, skz scenarios, skz smut, skz fluff, skz angst, skz fic, skz drabble, fem reader, afab reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Light Smut
Warnings: Abusive Past Relationships, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, Abusive Ex, Injuries, Insecurities, Self Image Issues, Self Doubt
A/N: For all of you who, like me, are absolute sluts for "Who did this to you?" and a powerful man on his knees before an even more powerful woman. This one's for you.
This one was a long labor of love, you guys. Hope you enjoy. <3
P.S. This is Changbin's motorcylce if you even care.
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Soundtrack: 🛡️ State of My Head by Shinedown 🌹 Daydreams by We Three 🛡️ Bleed by Connor Kauffman 🌹 Cravin' by Stileto 🛡️ Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? By Taylor Swift
Title: The Rose and the Sword
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You feel like you can't breathe.
You might vomit.
Fuck.
Why was he here? How did he know where you were? You'd thought, of all places, a mortal party would be safe, that he'd never debase himself enough to come here, you'd finally be outside of his clutches.
But he was here, and now, you were panicking.
Terrified.
Stomach in your throat, heart pounding in your ears.
Your barely healed over split lip seems to throb at the thought of him, as if it knows its bestower is near, hunting, stalking you.
Pushing past a few mortal party goers, their faces obscured by their masquerade masks, you ignore their yelps of outrage, stumbling around the nearest corner and down the darkened hallway beyond.
Exit, exit, where the fuck was the exit?
You can practically feel his hot breath on your neck, though you know it's just your imagination, and the thought makes your entire body go numb with fear.
You can't let him put his hands on you again. Not now, not ever.
With that thought, you take a sharp left around a second corner, into another hallway packed with bodies, the sound of the pounding music almost drowned out by the rush of blood in your ears, the sound of your panting breaths breaking harsh through your lips.
He's going to catch you, he's going to find you, and when he does-
No.
Before you can wonder what the hell you're doing, you flatten yourself against the wall and slide between someone's faceless body and the cool stone against your back, breathing frantic.
Glancing up, you note offhandedly that the person you've chosen to use as cover is tall, tall enough that they loom over you. When they turn, staring down at you, face obscured by the twisted angles of their lion's mask, mouth agape in a ferocious roar, you can't quite make out the color of their eyes, hidden in shadow.
"Please." You manage to get out around the lump in your throat, staring up into the dark recesses of the mask. "My ex-I just need to-"
You can't get the words out, your throat closes in fear as you hear his familiar voice at the end of the hall, angrily pushing through party goers.
The man towering over you stares down at you, not uttering a word, face expressionless, and you wonder, for the briefest of breathless moments, if he's going to move away, leaving you out in the open.
He has no obligation to help a strange woman begging for help at a party, after all.
But then, as your demise grows closer and closer still, the man leans forward suddenly, caging you back against the wall with his huge, beefy forearms, his muscular, broad body blocking you completely from view.
Your breath catches in your throat, you don't dare breathe, as his forehead meets yours and his shadow covers you completely.
You hold your breath, squeezing your eyes shut and not moving a muscle, as the angry voice of your pursuer sounds just to your left, pausing for a moment, before his harshly muttered sentiments recede down the hall, disappearing into the sounds of the revelers.
Without a word, the large man who just became your savior pulls back, straightening, and your breath tumbles out of you in one fell swoop, your fingers shaking at your side.
The music seems to come back into focus, and you're not sure when it had faded.
"Thank you." You stumble out, but he's already turning to leave, and you adjust your mask on your own face, swallowing hard.
Your resist the urge to call out to him as he disappears into the crowd.
He was a stranger after all.
A stranger first, your hero second.
With one last look, you search for the strange man, but he seems to have gone. You duck your head, and hurry from the party, leaving it all behind.
You're sure you'll never cross paths again.
Somewhere in the distance, the fates laughed.
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Changbin's glove hits the bag again, harder this time.
Thwack.
Felix glances around from the other side, his brow arched, a mixture of admiration and concern twisting his pretty features.
Changbin ignores him, and sends another solid punch forward, grunting at the impact.
Thwack.
"You wanna talk about it?" Felix asks, finally stepping around the bag that Changbin is abusing, as he starts to unwind the wraps from his own hands, sweat glistening on the golden skin of his bare chest.
Changbin shakes his head and throws another series of hits, one after the other.
Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.
"There's nothing to talk about. I'm sure I'll never see her again. But-fuck-"
He feels anger bubble into his throat at the thought of you-obviously terrified, begging a stranger for help like your life was in danger.
And judging by the split in your lip and the bruising he had seen around your eye, even with your mask and the dim lighting, he didn't doubt that maybe it really was.
He growls in frustration and hits the training bag with another series of violent throws, ignoring the growing ache in his knuckles.
Thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack.
"Okay." Felix steps between him and the bag as he takes a step back to adjust his footing, giving him a hard, pointed look that has him reluctantly lowering his gloves. "It seems like there's a lot to process here, but the punching bag is not at fault, so let's take a break-"
Changbin sighs and reaches down to strip off the first glove, tossing it to the side a little more aggressively than necessary.
Leave it to Felix to want to talk things through. Some therapeutic shit or something.
Changbin preferred to deal with his problems the old fashioned way, he always had.
Sweat them out, and if that wasn't an option, then fuck them out.
There was a reason the huge ass house he owned had been designed with a private state of the art gym, and a king bed in every room.
He crouches down on the mat, ripping his other glove off before he begins to unwind his wraps jerkily, ignoring the bleeding splits marking his knuckles.
Felix sits down across from him, watching him, and Changbin finally glances up, sending his best friend a glower. "What?"
The sun god merely shrugs and glances down at his own hands, before he tosses his wrap into his bag and reaches for a swig of his water.
"I dunno, kind of seems like you need to talk about some things."
"I don't." Changbin snaps back, clenching his jaw. His muscles ache, his entire body tense with irritation.
Felix doesn't give up. "I think you do, if the current state of your knuckles is any indication." He inclines his head toward Changbin's thrashed knuckles with a little smirk.
"Felix, I said-" His voice turns dangerous, his words slow, as if he's really trying to hit them home. "-I don't need to talk about it."
Felix, to his credit, doesn't look cowed in the slightest by the God of Wrath's obvious fury.
Changbin stands back up, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "What I need, is to spar. So come on. Get up."
Felix sighs, but pushes himself to his own feet and silently begins to rewrap his hands as Changbin heads to the regulation size boxing ring in the very center of the gym.
He slides between the ropes, his own hands already stinging from before, and throws a few punches into the air experimentally.
Jab.
He doesn't need to talk about it.
Jab.
He's never let a woman stay in his head longer than a day.
Jab.
Tomorrow, he won't even remember your face.
Jab.
The fates are cruel, but surely not that cruel, right?
Felix appears before him, hands up and ready, and Changbin hits him immediately with a frantic flurry of throws.
He needs to get this tension, and you, out of his system, and fast.
The steady feel of his gloves glancing off of Felix's well timed defenses helps him steady his resolve.
He breathes evenly-in, out, in out.
And throws another round of punches.
Thwack.
Thwack.
He's already forgotten the twisted look of horror on your face. The ring of bruising around your eye. The desperate pull of your full lips as you begged him to protect you.
'Please.'
Thwack.
🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️
Thwack.
Your glove bounces off of Changbin's and he grins at you as he parries, readjusting on the balls of his feet as he dodges you easily.
"C'mon, princess, focus."
You grit your teeth and try to forget the sweat dripping down your spine, the feel of your hair plastered to your sticky, overheated skin.
You take in his position, and throw another punch, this one aimed for his side.
Your glove lands solidly, and Changbin grunts with the force of the impact, steadying you as your body collides with his on the follow up, your momentum driving you forward into him before you can right yourself.
You grin up at him, a brow arched as you both breathe heavily.
"Like that?"
"Yeah, fuck, princess-" He swears, wincing slightly, but grinning down at you proudly. "-just like that."
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
You don't know why you're here tonight.
Or maybe you do-because you're sure he won't be here tonight.
You can feel the eyes on you-the whispers and the glances at the bruising that still has yet to disappear beneath your eye-but you doggedly ignore them, taking a long sip of your ambrosia.
There is a commotion by the doors that lead into the grand ballroom, and offhandedly, your gaze draws to the men who enter-one with hair as yellow as the sun and a dainty beauty that puts even the women here to shame and the other large and muscular, wearing a breastplate-an odd choice for a party-and wickedly, dangerously handsome.
You're drawn to the latter of the two for some strange reason, and Artemis, standing beside you, must notice.
You feel her elbow you, and when you glance to her curiously she shakes her head at you with a knowing smirk.
"Oh, no girl, don't even go there." She warns you in a low voice, and Athena follows her gaze, nodding in agreement immediately. The huntress points toward the men with a tip of her glass. "You just got out of a shitty relationship, protecting your peace and all that, the God of War is hardly the person you want to look to right now."
Ares.
That's why he looked familiar.
There's a weird nagging in the back of your brain, that you're drawn to him for more than just the reason that you've heard about him, but you push it down, giving the huntresses a tight smile as you take another sip of your drink.
"Yeah, of course." You agree with a slight nod, but still, you find your gaze drawn back to the man in the chest plate.
You use the excuse of needing some fresh air to duck out the party a few hours later, heading for the glass doors that lead to the back balcony, and the ensuing acres of dark garden beyond.
The night is chilly, and the balcony and garden are lit up by hundreds of floating fairy lights, making the cobblestones and fountains almost seem surrealistic beneath the twinkle of the small lights.
Sighing, you lean against the railing, the sounds from the party drifting through the open doors behind you.
Tentatively, without really thinking about it, your fingers go up to your eye, cautiously feeling around the socket and wincing slightly when it's still tender to the touch.
You'd done your best to hide the bruising for the party, but it was still obvious-your skin mottled with varying hues of purple into blue into green.
There is the sound of a boot fall behind you, and you whirl, straightening up, because you're never quite out of fight or flight mode, even when you're supposed to be relaxed.
You have him to thank for that.
In front of you, bulky frame silhouetted against the open French doors, hands clenched at his sides, scowl on his handsome face, stands Ares.
Your breath catches in your throat.
The twinkling fairy lights reflect off the fine engraved metal that makes up his chest plate as he advances toward you, and you take a step back, lower back hitting the cold marble of the railing.
Panic claws its way up your throat, and your heart pounds hard against your ribcage.
Maybe he'd seen you staring earlier? Maybe he thought you were being rude?
Frantic thoughts flit through your head as he takes another step and then stops, just a few feet away from you, his solid, heavy boots coming to a stop on the cobblestones beneath your feet.
"I-" You start to say, even though you have no idea where you're going to go with this or what your next words will be.
He narrows his eyes, gaze flicking across your face, and when he finally speaks his words are a growl. "Who did that to you?"
You stare at him dumbly. "What?"
He raises his chin toward your face, grinding his teeth, his jaw clenched so tightly you can see the way a muscle ticks beneath his skin.
"Your face."
You feel like you've been doused in cold water, your lips parting uselessly, your fingers going up unthinkingly to the bruising you know surrounds your eye.
He takes another step toward you, and you sidestep, back now hitting the brick that makes up the wall of the house.
One of his large hands goes down hard next to your head, making you jump slightly, fingers clenched into a fist, his knuckles whitening.
He's got you caged in, glaring down at you with fury in his dark eyes.
"Who the fuck did that to you?"
The dangerously cold tone to his words has a shiver running down your spine as you swallow.
You suddenly have the very clear intuition, like a heavy pit in your stomach, that if you were to give him a name, someone would no doubt end up dead tonight.
You swallow again, meeting his gaze, breath coming in little harsh exhales now.
And then it hits you.
Why you know him.
Your eyes widen.
"Lion mask."
He'd been the one who had fucking saved you at the party.
Brief confusion replaces the anger in his eyes, before his jaw tightens once more, that muscle ticking beneath his skin again in a way that has you wanting to trace a finger over it.
He huffs, and pushes himself off the wall, stepping back, putting space between you again.
You feel like you can breathe once more.
Simultaneously, at the same time, you feel like you've just lost all the air in your lungs.
Without another word or backward glance, he turns on his heel and stalks back through the doors into the party.
You slump against the wall, reaching out to the railing for support, your hands shaking slightly.
Dear Gods, you really hope that's the last time you have a run in with the God of War.
However, Fate is a fucking fickle thing, isn't it?
A fickle thing indeed.
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You're coming out of your favorite coffee shop on Olympus-small and quaint, and filled with the freshest flowers, courtesy of Persephone-when you stop dead in your tracks, eyes going wide.
You must be delirious. You reach up and feel your own forehead, just for good measure, but you're not feverish, not even warm.
The god of war and wrath is standing in front of you.
Tall, imposing, impossibly broad arms crossed over his chest as he stares you down, he's dressed in dark jeans, a t-shirt, and leather jacket today, and he's leaning against-a motorcycle.
Because of fucking course he is.
You glance behind you, to make sure he's not pinning someone else beneath his sinfully dark gaze, but nope, the sidewalk is empty.
Well shit.
Against your better judgement, you take a step in his direction, fingers tightening subconsciously around your iced latte.
You swallow, fighting to keep your gaze on his and not look down at your feet, and manage a small, questioning, "Hi again?"
His features don't change, not even when he holds out a helmet in your direction.
You stare at the thing like it's a hydra with seven heads.
"What do-" You start to ask, and he juts his chin over his shoulder to the large bike he currently leans against.
"Get on."
It's a command, low, rough, but not dangerous, you don't think, and your stupid body, already used to following commands and not asking questions, lest you receive a punishment, is already trailing toward him.
"You trust too easily." He remarks in a low timber that has you glancing away, biting your lip, your cheeks reddening.
"I don't-" trust easily, you start to protest, but stop yourself, biting your tongue.
He's right. It's your greatest flaw.
You glance down at the offered helmet once more, and clearing your throat, you carefully set down your coffee, before you stand in front of him, head bowed, avoiding his gaze, your hands going to clench behind the small of your back.
You hear him sigh, and then the sound of a boot on the pavement as he takes a step toward you.
His finger goes beneath your chin, and you startle slightly at the contact, even as he raises your gaze to his own, his dark eyes suddenly swirling.
"Don't do that." He warns in a low, gravelly voice, and you part your lips to ask what he means, but he's already tugging the helmet down over your head expertly.
"But-" You hesitate, not quite studying him, as you flick your eyes over his features and then away again, trying not to shiver at the feel of his fingers brushing your throat as he buckles the straps beneath your chin. "-you're a god."
His eyes flash up to yours. "And you're a goddess." He counters right back, heat making his eyes impossibly dark as he meets your gaze. "But I'm starting to see that someone was incredibly keen on forcing you to forget that."
You stare at him in shock, eyes wide, lips parted, but he doesn't say anything else, flipping the visor down over your face with a flick of his fingers before he turns and swings a leg over the bike. He turns the key and roars the engine to life, and the low rumble that you can feel through the pavement makes a shiver run up your spine.
You're not entirely sure if it's fear or something else.
He glances to you, arching a brow, and you take that as a sign that you should move your ass.
Forgetting your latte on the sidewalk, not sure how you'd hold it anyway, you cautiously swing your leg over the seat behind him.
The bike purrs between your legs like a feral jungle animal, much like the mask its owner had worn at the party that fateful night.
Without warning, he reaches back with one large hand and gathers your wrists in the warmth of his palm, tugging your arms to go around his waist, even as you let out a little yelp of surprise and fall into the broadness of his back.
"Hold on tight." He admonishes you, glancing back at you for a brief moment before he revs the bike and you take off away from the curb in a peal of tires on pavement.
You shriek and cling to him so tightly you would worry if he were any one else that you were strangling the air from his lungs, burying your face into the leather that stretches across his back, eyes scrunched shut.
You're on a motorcycle, plastered to the God of Wrath, going hells knows where.
Fucking hells, what have you done?
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Changbin has been steel hard ever since you willingly, without question, slid onto his bike behind him.
He adjusts himself subtly with one hand as he directs the motorcycle onto the straight way that leads back to his mansion, shifting slightly, but that makes it worse, because he's suddenly reminded of your heat at his back, your arms wrapped around his waist so tightly he can't think.
Fucking hells, he really needs to get a grip.
Trusting so blindly could get you into trouble-judging by the bruising he'd seen on your face a few times now, he has no doubt it already has-but at the same time, something primal within him purrs with satisfaction that you seem to put your faith in him so easily.
Pulling into the large garage, he kills the engine and the silence is deafening, his boots hitting the cement, putting the kickstand down as he slides off the bike with practiced ease.
He glances to you, and he can't read your expression beneath the visor of the helmet he'd fastened beneath your chin earlier.
Gods, your skin beneath his fingers-
He pushes the thought from his mind and ignores the aching erection pulsing beneath the stiff denim of his jeans, taking a step toward you and offering a hand when you still haven't moved.
You hesitate, and then put your hand into his and let him tug you off the back of the bike, albeit a little shakily, but you're on your feet.
He steps forward, pushing up the visor that obscures your face, and resists the urge to run his gaze over every inch of your expression, instead, focusing on his fingers as they move to unbuckle the straps beneath your chin.
"What are we doing here?" You ask, and your voice is small, unsure, and it makes Changbin's anger flare back to life in the pit of his stomach, like someone had told you at one point that you weren't allowed to ask questions and now you're scared to voice them.
The thought makes him see fucking red.
He tugs the helmet off and you swallow, but you don't run from him as he slides past you to put the helmet on the bike, the place where your arms brush sending sparks of electricity down his skin.
He glances to you, and taking a step back to put space between the two of you again, he crosses his arms over his chest, holding your gaze seriously.
The way you curl into yourself, like you're trying to make yourself smaller under his gaze, less of a target, just solidifies something in his very being that this is where you need to be.
Fates be damned, he's not gonna let whoever hurt you lay so much as a finger on you ever again.
His voice is rough with barely restrained anger-not with you, no, never with you, but you flinch anyway-when he speaks again.
"I'm going to teach you how to fight."
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"You know, technically we don't even need to go to these things."
You glance up from where you stand in front of your vanity, finishing up a few touches on your hair and lipstick, at Changbin's voice as he emerges from the huge walk in closet, adjusting the cufflinks on his suit.
You bite back a grin, returning to looping your necklace around your throat and clasping it at the nape of your neck as you answer back thoughtfully, "Yes, but where's the fun in that?"
You hear him huff in response, swearing slightly, probably battling with his cufflinks still, and then the sound of his heavy footfalls behind you.
You glance up as he moves to stand at your back, towering over you, his broadness dwarfing you, as he puts his hands on your hips, and leans over to press a lingering kiss to the side of your neck, running his nose along your skin for a moment.
"You find these things fun?" He remarks back like he doesn't quite believe you, meeting your gaze in the reflection of the mirror, his fingers digging into the silken fabric of the gown you wear. "I think they're a huge waste of time and an excuse for Zeus to be vain and show off in front of his brothers. He just likes to remind them he holds the crown and they don't. It's a giant fucking pissing contest."
You laugh at that, setting down the lipstick you had just finished applying, and reach up, cupping his jaw with your fingers as you arch a brow at him in the mirror with the hint of a smirk.
"Yes, but also, it's an excuse for me to show you off, pet, and I like the jealous glares I get. It feeds my ego."
He rolls his eyes, but you can tell he's biting back a grin of his own as he leans down and presses his lips to your pulse point once more.
"Yeah, yeah. Got it. I'm arm candy."
You turn and lean up on tiptoes to connect your lips with his for the briefest moment, careful of your lipstick, running your fingers along the strong line of his jaw before you pull back. "That may be part of the truth, my love-" You tell him softly, lips curving slightly, as you reach up and brush away some rogue lipstick left behind at the corner of his mouth, your eyes flicking up to his. "-we do make an incredibly striking couple, but for a million other reasons, far more important, just know, there is no one I would rather have at my side than you."
********************
Changbin downs the small glass of ambrosia in his hand in one go, and once again, for the thousandth time that night, finds himself cursing these stupid fucking parties.
There's not enough booze, he hates wearing a fucking suit, and everyone is far too uptight, not to mention-
He finds his gaze drawn to you once more, across the space of the open garden, the twinkling fairy lights magicked to dance above the partygoers heads lighting up the shine of your hair as you tip your head back and laugh at something Artemis must have said.
The open back of the dress you wear reveals flawless skin criss-crossed with tinkling delicate silver chains, all the way down to your hips, leaving little to the imagination, and the front is just as plunging, a deep V between the perfect hills of your breasts.
Changbin groans inwardly, as he reaches for another glass of ambrosia off a passing satyr's tray and downs it unceremoniously.
Fuck, he'd really just like to have you all to himself right now, completely at his mercy.
Instead, he's here, and you're there, faking conversation and smiles for the sake of the fucking party.
If you can even call it a party, it's more of a massive fucking cock block at this point.
He scoffs silently and adjusts himself subtly in the pants of his suit.
Luckily, before he can get too fucking hard watching you, his attention is drawn elsewhere.
"Brother." Kratos steps up beside him, champagne flute held between delicate long fingers, his pale, almost white hair slicked back from his forehead, his translucent blue eyes scanning to Changbin in a sort of disdain look before he glances back over the party.
Changbin's never liked the guy, and they're only half brothers at best, but he forces his greeting out somewhat semi cordially anyway with a nod and a grunted, "Kratos" in return.
The god of strength takes a long sip of his drink, and then his eyes skate back over to Changbin in a way that makes his skin crawl.
"You know I don't need to tell you that you shouldn't have let my dear sister in law out of the house looking like that, especially not with her-" His lips pull into a sneer slightly, and Changbin feels himself instantly bristling in response. "-powers and proclivities."
Changbin's gaze follows Kratos' back to you, tilting your head toward Athena as you listen to something she's saying low in your ear, and his eyes are drawn to the bare line of your shoulder, the shadows darkening the notches between your spine, the curling lines of the tattoo that just peaks out from the plunging back of your dress.
His knuckles go white around the glass he's holding, his jaw popping as he grits his teeth.
"Not that it's any of your fucking business-" He finally manages to get out, faking a meter of calm as he glances away from you and back to the man at his side, who is watching him now with a knowing smirk and a cocked brow. Changbin has to force himself not to smash the glass in between his too tight fingers. "-but my wife can wear whatever the fuck she damn well pleases."
Kratos scoffs at that, annoyance flashing across his too pretty features as he rolls his eyes. "Oh please. And I suppose now is the part where you tell me, rather clichély at that, that that's because 'you know how to fight'?"
"No." Changbin shakes his head, and he gives the other man a sudden sharp toothed, dangerous, predatory smile, one that has Kratos obviously swallowing, Adam's apple bobbing nervously as he takes a wavering step back.
"Because she does."
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It's the third time you've trained with Changbin.
And you're not making any progress.
Your hits are still clumsy and way too soft, not precise at all, and your defensive maneuvers are even worse.
You can tell he's pulling his punches to keep from actually hurting you, but no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to avoid his hits, ending each session with bruises and scrapes, and an entirely too familiar sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach-failure.
You're a failure, and he's getting frustrated with you, just like everyone always does when you can't live up to their expectations.
So you're not surprised when he snaps today, blowing out a harsh breath, tugging off his gloves and tossing them on the floor of the ring at his feet, his chest heaving-whether from exertion or anger, you're not sure, but you'd guess the latter-especially judging from the darkening of his gaze as it narrows in on you.
"You have fists, do you not?" He asks in open irritation, eyes flashing, and your mouth falls open slightly, not really sure what he's expecting your response to be.
"Yes?" You reply back in a hesitant tone, and he takes a step toward you, and you instinctively shrink back from him.
His voice drops into a dangerous growl as he advances toward you. "Then fucking use them."
It's an instinct, you know that, to curl in on yourself, make yourself a smaller target, maybe avoid a bit of the fury, the punishment, coming your way.
Your arms curl around your ribcage and you won't meet his angry gaze.
Felix-the sun god-who you've met several times now, who always seems to be in the gym, working out at the same time as the two of you, who seems to be one of the God of Wrath's few friends, gets to his feet outside the ring, watching the interaction warily.
"Changbin." He warns in a low tone.
Changbin pays him no heed, attention focused purely on you.
"You're not even trying-" He chastises you, voice quivering slightly with held back fury, as he takes another step toward you, narrowing the gap. You feel as if you can't breathe. "-and I fucking hate that." His glare darkens, and his hands, wrapped around the knuckles, form angry, shaking fists at his side. His voice raises. "Hit me. Hurt me. Just fucking try something, for gods sakes!"
You swallow hard, mouth suddenly dry as he closes the last distance between you, your back hitting the ropes, and you duck your head, closing your eyes and digging your nails into the palms of your hands, hidden beneath the thick boxing gloves, readying yourself for the sting of a slap you already know is coming, you've already prepared for.
Suddenly, Felix is between the two of you, his tall body blocking your own, his hands going to shove at Changbin's chest, pushing him back a step.
"Changbin, mate-" He admonishes again, this time in a dangerously serious, louder tone. "-lower your fucking voice, okay? Can't you see she's terrified?"
Changbin stares at him for a long moment, his hands still balled into fists, and then he blinks, and blinks again, before his gaze moves past his friend to where you cower back against the ropes, arms wrapped around yourself as if to hold it together.
Suddenly, he takes a step back, and then another.
"Fuck." He swears, reaching up to rake an agitated hand through his thick dark hair, before he turns and ducks beneath the ropes of the ring.
"Fuck." He says again, louder this time, as he shoves over one of the punching bags, sending it clattering to the floor, on his way to the door. "Fuck!"
Felix turns to you, your eyes wide, your chest still heaving in panicked breaths.
He gives you the hint of a regretful smile, his large golden eyes soft beneath the fringe of his almost blindingly blonde hair.
Like the sun, you think vaguely.
"He's not angry with you, you know." He murmurs gently, as the door slams behind the disappearing god of wrath, making you both wince.
You swallow hard, and give a slight nod, slowly unwrapping your arms from around your ribs. "I know."
Do you?
You don't know how, but beneath the instinctual panic, for the first time in your life, you somehow do.
*********
"Sloppy." Changbin tells you in a bored sort of voice, as he once again, easily, blocks your jab with an almost nonchalant parry, and you grit your teeth as you have to take a step back to regain your balance, reaching up to swipe at the sweat gathering on your forehead with a forearm.
"You don't have to be such a dick, you know." You manage to get out between catching your breath, getting back into position even as he crooks his hand at you and readies up himself.
"I'm not being a dick-" He scoffs with a roll of his eyes, as you head for him again and once more, he dodges you easily, and you make a sound of frustration. "-I'm being hard on you because if you fight like this when it really matters, your opponent isn't going to be as forgiving as I am."
You heave in a breath, and then another, aware that across the ring, he seems to have hardly broken a sweat.
It's fucking infuriating, and you can feel the anger making your blood hot the longer this goes on.
"Oh, yeah? Well, if you're not being a dick, then don't fucking act like one." You counter back boldly, and Changbin arches a brow, studying you curiously for a moment.
It's the first time you've ever talked back to him-or anyone-for that matter.
And it feels good.
You take another go at him, and this time, when your glove doesn't make contact, and Changbin utters another, 'half-assed', you let the anger rising in your gut fuel you, and immediately round on him for another hit, not giving him time to reset in between.
He still manages to parry, of course, but you can tell you catch him off guard by the way a slight smirk graces his lips.
"You're fucking infuriating, you know that?" You seethe, even as you send a flurry of quicker blows in his direction, trying to catch him on the wrong foot and land something, anything.
"Yeah, and you're still fucking weak, princess, so how about we don't waste precious breath on things we both already know?" He counters right back, and hot anger flushes your already exertion reddened cheeks.
"Is this what you fucking want?" You spit back, as you manage to make him take a step toward the ropes, and you see slight surprise in his eyes at the power behind the next blow he knocks away. "To make me fucking mad?"
"I want-" He grunts out, narrowly dodging another swing from your glove, and you feel weirdly smug at the way he's breathing harder now. "-you to hold your fucking own. Whatever you need to do that is just a means to an end."
You swing at him with a cry, and you're shocked when your glove connects solidly with his ribs.
You freeze, and both of you stand there for a moment, breathing hard, staring down the miniscule distance between each other.
"There she is." Changbin murmurs in between breaths, and you hate how warm the begrudging respect in his dark eyes makes your already flushed skin. "That's what I've been looking for. Anger."
"You're a fucking asshole, trying to get a rise out of me like that." You pant back, eyes flashing dangerously, as you drop your glove from his ribs and he straightens. "You're just trying to piss me off."
His lips curve into a smirk. "I'm not trying to do anything." He counters back. "You had it in you all along. I was just trying to get you to see that you don't need fucking anyone, except you. You did that, nobody else."
His words reverberate around your skull and sink into your bones.
"Still an asshole move." You mutter back begrudgingly, and he grins.
"Yeah, well, I never claimed not to be an asshole, princess. It's part of my charm."
Suddenly, without thinking, you rear back and hit him square in the face.
He stumbles back, and immediately, your entire body goes numb as carefully, slowly, he reaches up and swipes at the blood now trickling from his nose, staring at it on his fingers, before he glances back to you.
His eyes darken, and you shrink, immediately caving in as you know punishment is coming. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
He stares at you, eyes darkening even further, and you bite down so hard on your tongue you taste the familiar tang of copper.
"Atta-fucking-girl." He growls, taking a step toward you, closing the distance, and your jaw drops, your mind going blank.
His large hand goes to the back of your head instantly, fingers tangling into your hair, and he tugs you to him, crashing his mouth into yours.
You can taste the blood on his tongue-whether it be your own or his you're not sure-but immediately, he's delving into you wildly, passionately, and you find yourself responding in kind, your body taking what it needs from him almost with the same frenzy.
He takes you with him as he ducks beneath the ropes, his mouth never leaving yours, guiding you blindly down from the ring, and neither of you stops to surface for breath until the backs of your knees are hitting a chair, and Changbin's pulling away so he can focus on tugging down the leggings you wear.
"Changbin-" You breathe, and he gives a slight shake of his head, pulling off your pants and dropping them to the floor before he takes a few steps back, shutting the door that leads from the private gym.
You stare at him, wide eyed, suddenly conscious to the fact that you're bare from the waist down, sitting in front of him.
And gods, you really need his mouth back on yours.
"Changbin-" It comes off as more of a whine this time, and you find yourself reaching out, fingers searching for his beltloops to tug him back to you.
Instantly, he pushes away your hands, his back hitting the door with a thud as he shakes his head again.
"Uh, uh, princess." He pins you down with eyes the color of flaming coal. "I'm not gonna lay a fucking finger on you until you've made yourself come."
Your mouth drops open at that, and heat floods your cheeks.
Changbin grins in a predatory fashion, his eyes skimming over you, tracing down to the way your thighs rub together subtly for friction, your knuckles white from gripping the edges of the chair.
"I want you to see you've got all the fucking power here. You're capable of making yourself feel incredible fucking pleasure, and you don't need anyone else to do it."
You stare at him, letting his words sink in, and then, before you can talk yourself out of it, or doubt, you slowly let your hand slide down between the juncture of your thighs, touching the wetness there.
You start upward as your fingers find your clit, your mouth dropping open on a stuttered gasp, and Changbin groans in response, letting his head fall back against the door, his eyes never leaving you, tracking what you're doing through a hooded gaze.
"That's it, princess, fuck, just like that." You let yourself slide a finger inside as you watch him reach down a hand and palm the obvious erection growing through his pants.
It's invigorating, thrilling even, to know you're holding your own pleasure in your hand, and causing such an intense reaction in him just by watching simultaneously.
It's heady, and you can feel your pleasure pooling in your core in tight coils as you continue to massage and please yourself with your fingers, keeping your eyes on his.
When you gasp and send yourself over the edge, milking yourself through orgasm with slick fingers, whimpers leaving your lips, vision going hazy with stars for a few long moments, a throaty groan leaves Changbin's lips, as if torn from deep inside.
It makes you plummet even harder and faster than before, and you find yourself panting through one of the most intense orgasms you've ever had.
When you can see again, and the stars have faded, you pull your slick fingers out, and glance to Changbin, and your breath hitches at the sight of him sinking down to his hands and knees, crawling toward you, eyes dark and predatory.
"Don't-" You start to protest, but he reaches you and putting a palm on your knees, knocks your thighs apart, spreading you wide open to him.
"Let me see." He commands in a rasping purr, and you watch as he leans forward and kisses his way up your inner thigh slowly, sending a shudder up your spine.
He glances up at you. "I intend to spend every day on my knees for you, princess, worshipping every inch of you the way you deserve."
"Gods-" He continues, trailing his lips up your inner thigh, licking at the slick that still coats your skin. His fingers dig into your skin. "-you're so fucking p-"
You feel yourself hollow out. Time seems to stop.
Here it comes.
What every fucking person you've ever been with, given exactly what they wanted, ends up saying at the end, after you have nothing left.
'So fucking-'
-pretty.'
-perfect.'
It's always the same superficial compliments, observations, and it leaves you feeling more empty than before.
"-powerful." He finishes, stroking a finger down your inner thigh, moving his gaze across you slowly, respectfully, as if in awe.
You stare at him, mind taking a moment to comprehend, jaw slightly slack.
'You're so fucking powerful.'
Not pretty, not perfect, powerful.
His words send pools of warmth down into your lower stomach and core and you thread your fingers through the thick locks of his dark hair as he holds your gaze.
You swallow, and when you speak, your voice comes out on a soft shaky breath.
"So make good on your earlier promise then, and worship me."
He grins, ducking his head to suck a long open mouthed kiss just above your heat that has you shivering.
"Gladly."
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You walk past the loud, drunken mortals, arm slipped through Changbin's, and just catch the tale end of one of their comments as they pass.
"-dressed like that, she's practically begging to be choking on my cock-
Immediately, you stiffen, and Changbin releases you, turning slowly to face the stumbling men, his eyes gleaming predatorily.
"What the fuck did you just say about her?" He growls out.
The man who had spoken foolishly turns to squint at Changbin, his gaze unfocused, his expression souring.
They don't recognize you in your mortal glamours, because if they did, the man would surely be backtracking heavily by now.
Instead, he simply sneers and repeats, "Said your broad over there is practically asking to be choking on my c-"
Before he can get the sentence out again, Changbin is at his throat, hand around his neck, lifting him up into the air as his back hits the wall of the nearby bar, his breath leaving his lungs in an audible whoosh.
"I know what you fucking said, scum, I wasn't asking you so you could repeat it, I was asking you to give you a chance to change it." Changbin growls out dangerously, eyes flashing and face a mask of fury that has the man blanching.
The man claws wildly at Changbin's fingers wrapped around his throat, his eyes bulging, his face turning red. He wildly flicks his gaze to you. "C'mon, lady, put your fucking dog on a leash-"
You step up beside them then, own eyes darkening in a warning.
"Changbin." You say in an eerily calm, cool voice. "Put him down."
Changbin does as you ask, releasing the man, who drops to the ground at his feet like a drunken sack of potatoes, a stream of unintelligible curses spewing from his mouth.
Stepping forward, you don't give the man a chance to catch his breath before you're hooking his jaw with your palm, and sliding three of your fingers into his mouth.
He gags, struggling against your hold, as you pin down his tongue, shoving your fingers just far enough into the back of his throat that you can feel the fleshy bit there, stuttering his breath, saliva pooling and dribbling down his lips as he tries to expel your fingers from his mouth.
You crouch down then, going eye to eye with him, expression and voice level.
"And here you were before, thinking I would be the one gagging." You observe casually, watching the way he struggles.
"Now, I don't give a fuck what you say about me-" You muse almost boredly, cocking your head slightly as you shove your fingers farther down his throat and he gags around them. "-though I'd be careful, because he's liable to take your head off." I motion over my shoulder with a tilt of my head to the watching Changbin looming behind me.
Another push, another retch around the intrusion of your fingers finding their way down his throat.
You lean your head toward his, lowering your voice. "However, if you ever fucking talk about him like that again, I will rip out your tongue, and then your balls, are we clear?"
The man nods frantically, eyes watering and face red, lips stretched around your fingers.
You pull them from his mouth and stand, and he goes over on all fours, retching and coughing and spewing spittle onto the ground as he tries to regain his breath.
You wipe your fingers on the skirt of your dress, eying him with nothing short of disdain as you stare down at him on the ground at your feet.
"You look good on your hands and knees at my feet like that. Maybe you should consider the whole dog title you were throwing around so carelessly earlier." You muse, before you turn from him and tilt your head toward Changbin and the direction you were headed earlier.
Changbin buries the toe of his boot into the man's abdomen, sending him keeling over in another gasping fit, before he turns and follows you, offering you his arm once more.
Leaning his head against yours, he grins down at you. "Gods, princess. You're so fucking powerful."
You tilt your head and smile up at him, and he leans down to press his lips to yours in a searing kiss.
It's become the way he compliments you over all these years-all 'I love you' and 'I admire you' and 'I'm so lucky to have you' rolled up into one-and it means more to you than anything anyone's ever called you in all your eons of being the goddess of love.
Not pretty. Not perfect. Not precious.
Powerful.
And it's thanks to him, because he reminded you what it was like to be loved and cherished and respected, but he's right, it's always been there, all thanks to you.
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tojisun · 2 years ago
Text
pretty when i cry
recom miles quaritch x fem na’vi reader x olo’eyktan jake sully
!! smut - minors dni; pwp; threesome (p in v & oral); dacryphilia; size difference; hinted age gap (not really mentioned much because focus is on the size diff); power imbalance; extended foreplay (fingering); purity kink; corruption kink; dumbification; manhandling; slight exhibition kink; daddy kink; breeding kink; creampie; squirting; slight belly bulge; na’vi and english petnames; mean tease jake and quaritch; mutual possessiveness; switching povs // 5.7k words
: i wrote this when i was well-rested from my vacation and it exploded into this behemoth of a smut fic wheww; the fingering went on for too long bc, well, hands <33; i’m changing the format of the bulk of the fic to reduce eye strain; im super nervous posting this but i hope you guys would love it 🥹; title is from pretty when you cry - lana
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jake watches, his throat parched, as quaritch (alive and looking too damn well as a na’vi) hefts you onto his lap, manhandling your smaller body so that your legs are spread wide open, giving jake a good view of your leaking cunt. your face is flushed, blue skin turning into a delicious purple, your eyes screwed shut as though by ignoring their hungry gazes, you wouldn’t feel the shame thrumming in your veins.
jake thinks you look so beautiful bathed in your shame – your lust burning at your core.
you’ve always been so tiny – the runt of the clan – but jake hadn’t seen the perks of your constitution, given that he’d been too busy worrying about you. you’ve always been his little doll, his little angel; the one who drove his protective instincts into new heights. 
he wanted to keep you safe, yes, but he also wanted to keep you pure. naive. blindly trusting him because jake promised, didn’t he? he promised that he’d always protect and guide you? and jake had watched the way you melted in his arms, nodding at him softly, watching him with reverence as though the weight of his words exceeded that of eywa’s. 
then quaritch swooped in, with his sharp fangs and sharper words, and then jake was losing you to him. because while jake desired your innocence, quaritch lusted for your corruption. and quaritch is too good at corrupting.
(“well, there’s no rule that says we can’t share her, corporal.”
jake’s fury evaporated, the clawing possessiveness that had him in a bind loosened up as his ears twitched at hearing quaritch’s drawled out words. the motherfucker smirked, slanted eyes curving in amusement at jake’s sudden interest.
“oh, so now we listenin’ to lil ol’ me, huh?” 
jake’s tail snapped behind him, the limb whipping in agitation. quaritch just rolled his eyes at jake’s reaction, sighing through his nose as he leaned back to his seat, looking far too calm as though he and jake weren’t just arguing, almost fighting, over who gets to claim you.
any other day, jake would realize that he was acting just as selfishly as quaritch was; that despite all his bravado and promises of being the better man for you, he had only ended up following the colonel’s footsteps. but for now, jake didn’t care. not when whatever quaritch was offering seemed too good to reject.
quaritch huffed at jake’s silence, choosing to use it as a hint to keep on talking. “it’s not like we got any other choice, sully. for whatever fucked up reason, my girl wants you just as much, and i’m willin’ to share because, well.”
‘because i love her’ went unsaid but both jake and quaritch knew the words that he kept to himself.
jake swallowed the lump lodged in his throat, blinking his eyes to bat away the choking feeling of his possessiveness, chasing away the last remnants of his hesitancy as he hissed, “she’s my girl too, quaritch.”
it was as good as a crystal agreement and quaritch laughed, loud and booming.
“well, alright then.”)
it was natural to let quaritch take the lead and to have him do the talking. jake held your hand throughout, his thumb rubbing along the ridges of your knuckles as quaritch talked about soulmates and compatibility, things that jake knew the other man barely believed in, and ending his tirade with a “you’d love us equally, won’t you, princess?”
your eyes were wide as you listened to him talk, and jake almost cooed at how cute you looked with your lips parted open and your tail swishing behind you excitedly, but before he could do so, you ripped your hand from his hold and jumped right into quaritch’s arms.
jake had to admit, seeing you dwarfed by quaritch’s bigger and bulkier form stirred something in him. 
and, apparently, it did something to quaritch too, seeing as there you are, sat on the colonel’s lap, squealing as he fucks two of his fingers into your sopping cunt. 
jake is unable to hold in his ragged groans as he hears the wet sound made by a particularly hard thrust, your juices leaking past thick fingers. he doesn’t know when he stopped feeling jealous that it wasn’t him who was fucking your pussy, and started to feel unabashed excitement at seeing you fall apart because of someone else’s doing. 
he palms his hard cock through his tewng just in time to hear you keen, your back arched in that delicious way that always renders jake speechless. the beads of your braids click together when you begin to shake your head, raising your hand to wrap it around quaritch’s wrist. 
“my’lus, close! ‘m close!”
jake laughs at hearing the butchered name of the colonel coming from those beautiful lips of yours that he loves to kiss so much before he flicks his eyes up to meet quaritch’s glare, the heat behind it absolutely cooled down seeing as he cradled the love of jake’s life – the very person that quaritch loves above all. 
“don’t you tease my cupcake, sully. if she calls me ‘my’lus’, i am ‘my’lus’, aren’t i, princess?” he coos at you, as though his fingers aren’t digging into your cunt and rubbing along your heated walls, crooking them just right as his thumb flicks at your hardened nub.
all you could do was whimper, batting those pretty lashes up at quaritch as though your tears could soften the man into giving you what you needed. quaritch just grins, winking, and you let out a pathetic little sniffle that peters off into a choked moan when he just thrusts his fingers into your cunt again. 
jake shucks off his tewng, impatiently chucking the cloth to the side before closing his fist around his pulsing cock. he grunts at the warm pleasure that erupted from finally touching his sensitive length, tightening his fist along the flushed head as he begins rubbing his thumb across the leaking slit, causing shivers to rack his body. 
he doesn’t realize that he’s closed his eyes until he physically has to peel them open, needing to see you be stuffed by quaritch. expecting to only see the way your eyes would roll back to your skull, overwhelmed by the teasing fingers taking you apart, electrical euphoria seizes him when he meets your teary gaze instead. 
-
miles’ other hand cupped your jaw, forcing you to prop your head up and watch as jake fucked his fist, his eyes screwed shut in pleasure.
“see him, darlin’? y’see how frantic you made him?” miles’ voice rumbles in your ear, his lips ghosting along the side of your face. he stops his fingers, uncaring of your needy whines, and you realize, amidst tears and hiccupped gasps, that he is waiting for you to reply. so you clamp down on your breathy whimpers, keeping your focus on jake, before giving miles a soft nod. 
your eyes trail over jake, taking him in. his locs are out of his hair tie, the strands falling to frame his face, giving shadows over his usually-soft features, making them look much sharper than what you’re used to. his lips are pulled back in a snarl, his fangs nipping at them as he loses himself to his thoughts. his arms are flexed, bulging muscles rippling with his every move, and his belly is flexed, making way to show off the abs hidden underneath the slight swell of his stomach. 
“y’know what got him actin’ all desperate?” miles’ voice is teasing, like he knows something you don’t. you shake your head, humming in question, breathless as miles begins to spread his fingers again, grunting in delight when your tight walls clamped down on them. 
“he’s thinkin’ about you, sweet girl. he’s thinkin’ about fuckin’ you the way i do.” miles presses a soft kiss on the shell of your ear as he says this, slowly dragging his fingers out of your heat, pulling moans from your kissed-swollen lips and silencing your heady mind. 
it takes a while before the weight of his words sink in, and when they do, you gasp, jolting from miles’ lap with the crashing need to touch jake. to feel him.
you want jake. you want him to press close; to engulf you with his warmth and spear his leaking cock into your cunt. you want his kisses. his mating. his everything. eywa, why is he sitting so far away? why isn’t he touching you right now?
miles chuckles at seeing you pout, dragging his lips across your cheek, but you don’t pay him any mind as your attention is pulled into watching jake’s eyes flutter open, only to hear your heart stutter at seeing what were once pools of vibrant ambers transformed into thin rings of gold. 
all because he desires you. 
“jesus,” miles growls, bumping his forehead into the back of your shoulder. “goddamn, love. you just clenched on my fingers there.” his fangs nip your skin, and you feel the vibrations of his hums reverberating from where his lips are pressed. 
you couldn’t stop the shiver that raced down your body when jake’s eyes snap to your cunt at miles’ words, his gaze zoning in on the way miles is cupping your pussy. you watch the way he studies miles’ palm rubbing against your tiny nub, the other man’s teasing touches turning into something more desperate as though the tight squeeze of your walls on his fingers are translating into a more direct pleasure for him. as though miles could already feel how your cunt would hug his thick cock. 
you squirm on his lap, new bouts of tears trickling from the corners of your eyes when miles pulls his fingers out only to slam them back in you again, your back arching from his chest at the familiar numbing ecstasy that miles has delightfully taken to extinguishing just moments before you could tip over into your sweet orgasm. your lips fall for a silent scream, your ears ringing with static.
loppy and delirious from your increasing euphoria, you reach out for jake, wordlessly begging him to come and finally touch you. 
jake doesn’t need to be prompted twice.
-
he clambers to the spot just in front of you, trying to ignore quaritch altogether. but it is futile, especially when all jake can focus on is the consistent wap-wap-wap of the colonel’s thick fingers fucking you oh so deliciously. 
you are wailing, dazed and drunk off of your arousal. jake bets that you don’t even know the way you are clawing at quaritch’s RDA-issued shirt, your blunt fingernails catching onto the cloth and causing runs into the fabric. 
jake slots himself perfectly into the space between your parted legs and he takes the time to appreciate your toned thighs, dragging his eyes over the expanse of your skin that is shimmering with a thin sheen of sweat. his eyes stay frozen at your debauched cunt, your folds swollen from how much it’s been played with. the results of quaritch’s drawled out edging continue to trickle from your heat, dampening your inner thighs and creating a wet spot in the sheets. jake chuckles at the mess you’ve made before trailing his gaze over your tanhi, running his eyes from your belly, spasming with every ragged breath, to your perky tits. 
you’ve been stripped to full nudity, your necklace-top and your tewng had been ripped apart by quaritch’s impatient hands. jake remembers hissing at him, growling from the base of his throat because those had been one of the many gifts jake made for you. quaritch laughed and said, “all the more reason to tear ‘em up.”
despite his initial anger, jake can’t say that he doesn’t understand the eagerness lining quaritch’s actions. they’ve both wanted to touch you for so long now, dancing around like idiots as they courted for your hand, only to end up in this tangled mess.
but what a sight you make, he thinks. 
“look at you, paskalin,” jake whispers, his voice a gunshot amidst the melody of nothing but your sweet moans.
your head snaps up to meet his gaze and jake coos when your teary eyes can barely hold the stare, too distracted by the continuous edging of quaritch’s fingers. jake cups your jaw, rubbing soothing nothings on the skin just underneath your lashes and wiping away the tears drenching your cheeks. 
“y’r so beautiful,” he continues, folding himself before you to duck his head until you two are lips-to-lips. then, he presses them against yours, holding the chaste kiss, before pulling back just enough that your noses are bumping together. 
jake can feel your stuttering breaths against his mouth and he can’t stop the adoring smile that tugs up at his lips. “y’ve got us into a tizzy, sweetheart.”
“teezi?” you ask, struggling with the accent, and only then does jake realize that you’re no longer mewling.
jake dips his head down, curious, and is delighted to see your cunt finally free. he purrs at the sight of your hardened nub, nestled atop your puffy folds. he notes the way quaritch’s hands are holding your thighs apart, spreading you all for jake to gawk at. 
“oh, baby girl,” he croons, desire slamming into him. “y’r cunt’s all messy.” he swipes a finger over the slit of your pussy, chuckling when he hears your breath hitching at the teasing touch.
“ma’jake,” you whine, looping your arms around his neck, pulling him close, nuzzling your cheek on his neck. jake hums in faux curiosity, as though he doesn’t have a single clue about what he does to you.
still, he bucks close, his hands wrapping around your itty-bitty waist – not minding the fact that by doing so, he can feel quaritch’s abdomen pressed to your back – to drag you closer to him. you easily follow, falling to your knees and eagerly crawling to him.
jake chuckles at quaritch’s huff, his smile easing off when the colonel appeases himself by twirling your tail around his hand, gently tugging, coaxing more whines from your sore throat. 
“that’s right, baby cheeks,” quaritch murmurs fondly, before he bends over to nip at the tufts of your tail, knowing just how sensitive you are there. he’s rewarded with a drawled out keen, your pretty lashes batting together as you twist to turn to quaritch. your back arches beautifully as you do this, and jake’s hold on your waist gathers strength, unable to help himself 
jake rubs at your waist to calm you down, rumbling quiet shushing noises and shooting quaritch a glare. “my turn, colonel. lemme make my baby feel good.”
quaritch huffs, still holding onto your tail, but he pulls back, giving space for jake to move. jake takes it greedily, sliding his hands down to hold your hips, pulling you to his lap. his lips meet yours right away, devouring your surprised squeak. 
he feels your hands grip his shoulders, breathy trills of your happy sighs being engulfed by his rumbling grunts, and jake couldn’t stop himself from thrusting his cock along the folds of your soaked heat. the touch sends you buckling on his lap, your lips leaving his as your head falls back for a muted gasp. jake snarls when he sees your pretty neck, and buries his fangs into your skin, nipping. marking. 
mine, he thinks. my pretty mate.
“ma’jake!” you moan as you fist his locs, your hips rolling over his cock. “ma’jake, plea- my’lus, nooo.”
the sob catches jake’s attention, his curiosity bleeding past his arousal, and he looks up, thrill running down his spine when he sees the way quaritch’s hands are planted on your pretty tits, his big hands dwarfing the mounds, while his fingers tweak at your hardened nipples. quaritch’s face is pressed on the back of your head, and jake strains his ears when he sees the other man’s lips moving.
“s’right, cupcake,” is what jake hears first. “we’re gon’ fill up that tiny cunt of y’rs an’ make y’feel the stretch. we’re gon’ take turns stuffin’ you whole until y’r pussy can’t forget our shapes.”
jake startles at your whimper, the sound ricocheting within the small space between you two. he tears his eyes away from quaritch – fuming when he realized that he had been swayed by the colonel’s words, his own tail wagging behind him like a goddamn dog in heat, drunk off of his promises – and turns to you. 
your wet eyes blink down at him although he knows that you’re not really seeing him, not when your head has you tumbling images of what he and quaritch want to do with you. still, it has jake cooing as he bucks his hips up, purposefully grinding his hard cock along your weeping cunt again. 
“that’s right, yawne,” jake murmurs, his voice heady and rugged. 
“gon stuff this full,” he dips you down to his cock when he murmurs this. he snarls when you nod, soft giggles creeping from your lips when you notice the desperation in jake’s voice.
“y’love that, princess?” quaritch asks, covering your back with his bulk again, his greedy hands coming up to press your tits together, making the two of them salaciously hum at the cleavage your tits made. 
you nod, sighing, nuzzling your head back onto quaritch’s chest. 
jake clicks his tongue. “use y’r words, paskalin.”
“yes, please,” you finally utter, and jake’s heart thuds in his chest at hearing how ruined you sound. 
“there’s my girl,” quaritch drawls out, sounding just as intoxicated as jake feels. 
-
miles diligently holds your legs open, watching with bated breath as jake gently slides his cock into your wet cunt. he can feel your heaving chest as you continue to watch jake claim your tight pussy for the very first time, noting the way your breath hitches at the possible sting, and miles distracts you with the teasing touches he glides across your dewy skin.
“shh, princess,” miles whispers, nipping the shell of your ear. “didn’t i promise that i’ve got you?”
you nod, a broken little thing, and miles feels pity rise amidst the curl of arousal burning underneath his skin. 
he shoots jake a glare. “damn it, corporal. fuckin’ take it easy.”
jake snaps his golden eyes up at him – the eyes of a predator, miles thinks – growling, and miles raises a brow at the incredulity of jake’s sudden possessiveness. rearing his head back, he lets out a responding hiss, letting go of your perky tits to wrap his arms completely around your chest. 
there is a pregnant pause, the two of them posturing against each other, before a quiet action draws their attention back to you.
your head is tilted to the side, bearing your neck, and from his angle, miles no longer has a view of your pretty face. that’s quite alright, he thinks, feeling his cock jump from his trousers. 
miles doesn’t know much about the na’vi. not their customs or their culture, and he just holds enough knowledge of their language because he loves talking to you. but this? he doesn’t even have to glance at jake to ask what you’re doing. he knows what it is.
you’re fucking presenting to them.
“oh, ma’paskalin,” is all jake says, his voice thick with emotions, before he’s sinking his cock into you all the way. miles growls in appreciation when your back arches, your head falling to his chest as you moan, your eyes rolling back to your skull. 
miles lets go of your sides, a hand coming up to cup your jaw as he tips your head further down until he can kiss you. you are too overwhelmed with pleasure to kiss back, but miles doesn’t mind, choosing to suck on your bottom lip instead until it is slick and swollen. 
you claw at his neck, broken hiccups being swallowed by miles’ hungry mouth, before he groans at feeling your small body getting jostled. the action is followed by distinct slapping noises and jake’s grunted moans.
miles breaks the kiss and he is instantly gifted with the sweet cries spilling from your lips.
“my’lus!” you squeal, outright sobbing in his arms, and miles roars out a laugh. 
jake snarls before you get tugged out of miles’ hold, landing directly on top of jake’s cock, making the whole length of it sink into you. 
“my goddamn name,” jake growls, grasping at your hips to bounce you on top of him. “say my name, yawne. i’m the one fuckin’ you.”
miles takes delight in your cock-drunk self, too uninhibited to respect jake’s demands. jake snarls again as he fucks up into your cunt, your leaking slick making the slaps of your skins reverberate wetly. 
miles feels himself shiver at the messiness of it all. it’s his turn to watch you get fucked into oblivion by another man, and miles thought that he’d be put off by seeing someone else mating you, but he can’t help but love the sight that you and jake make.
miles strips his shirt and throws it behind him, mentally noting that if it’s clean enough, then he’d want you to wear it. ever since jake mentioned that whatever you’ve been wearing was made by himself, miles began wanting to see you in something of his own possession too.
he unzips his pants, not having any more effort to stand up and strip it off himself completely, before pulling his cock out. he turns to the two of you again, ready to use you both as spank bank material, only to see how jake’s turned into a pure fucking animal. 
the olo’eyktan is snapping his teeth at whatever expanse of your skin is presented to him, digging his fangs and marking you for himself. his hands had fallen from your hips and found purchase on your beautiful ass, where he’s got fists full of your flesh while he uses you as his personal cocksleeve, slamming you down onto his cock and then lifting you up until all that’s left is his head, before repeating the delicious process all over again. 
miles has to grip his cock to stop himself from cumming when he sees the way jake’s fingers are dimpling your skin, not wanting to waste a single drop of his seed outside of your cunt. he’ll bury all of his seed in you, he promises, quietly moaning to himself.
-
quaritch is so lost in trying to stop himself from tipping over the edge that he doesn’t notice the way jake manhandles you so that you’re now facing quaritch. jake’s arm is snug around your waist, his other hand circling your neck, as he waits until quaritch’s attention is back on you two.
jake watches the moment quaritch gets a hold of himself, the other man’s chest heaving due to his ragged breaths, before golden eyes snap open to zone in on you. 
jake doesn’t even care that quaritch ignored him completely, not when jake knows the sight that you must make: stuffed with his cock, your legs trembling as you hold them apart for your audience to show off your puffy pussy that is currently stretched in an obscene way. jake knows how your face must be wet with fresh tears or the way your lips are swollen from being devoured by the two of them, or how your pretty little tits are perky and flushed, much like the soft curve of your neck that is littered with hickeys.
“jake, more! more, please! i want more!” you beg oh so sinfully, sniffling when jake just ruts his cock into your pussy instead of giving you what you want.
jake clicks his tongue as he tightens his hand around your neck, not really hurting but putting enough pressure to render you speechless. he hums at your silence before turning to quaritch again.
“look how beautiful she is,” jake says, his voice full of pride. “my syulang’s takin’ me so well, isn’t she?”
quaritch nods, and jake notes how his eyes aren’t meeting his nor are they meeting yours. he follows quaritch’s gaze, turning his head to study your body, roving his gaze across the expanse of your beautiful self, before finally stopping at the skin just below your belly.
fucking hell.
“her pussy’s snug, ain’t it?” quaritch asks, rhetorical and sounding too far away like he doesn’t actually give a shit about holding the conversation.
jake can’t blame him. if he wasn’t the one tasting you, he’d be just as drunk at the image you paint. his hand leaves your waist to slide down your belly, before stopping directly on the taut skin of your womb. 
“look how far she’s takin’ me, quaritch,” jake whispers reverently, before he presses his lips on your shoulder. “she got me nestled all the way here.”
jake taps the bulge that’s formed in your belly, and quaritch chokes on his words, unable to stop himself any longer. his fist rocks down his cock again, trying to alleviate the itch pooling in the pit of his stomach. 
you hiccup, lifting your lither hand to rest on top of jake’s and jake croons, softly nuzzling his cheek on your shoulder. his touch is tender, like he’s not moulding your cunt to remember his shape. 
“m-ma’jake,” you stutter, your legs squeezing close when jake rocks into you again. “i want-” a sob breaks your words. “ma’muntxatan, please, i want more.”
quaritch growls, creeping closer upon hearing your words. “he ain’t your only mate, princess.”
-
miles pinches your chin and you blink up at him with a soft sniffle. he taps your lips, remaining quiet, and you want to call for him and beg him to touch you. but all thoughts fly away when jake lifts you up just enough that the slow drag of his cock is torturous, your walls spasming around his length as though trying to stop him from sliding out.
you grip miles’ wrist, using him to tether yourself, and as you do so, you almost miss his words.
“come on, baby,” miles murmurs, his hand leaving your chin to scruff you by your nape. “open y’r mouth for daddy, yeah?”
you purr at the familiar nickname that falls from his lips, the very same one that danced on your tongue, in the privacy of your hut, when you’ve learnt what it meant for the tawtute. 
“fuck, quaritch,” jake murmurs from behind you. “she jus’ squeezed me.”
miles laughs. “is that right, sweetheart?” you feel him pushing you to your elbows, gentle as jake continues to hump at your pussy. “you wanna call me ‘daddy’?” 
you lick the back of your teeth, going shy all of a sudden, but jake’s hand rubs soothing nothings on your back, as though coaxing you to murmur your agreement. 
“yes, daddy,” you readily say, peering up at quaritch through your lashes. you clear your throat, parting your lips only to gasp when you feel jake’s cock slide out of you completely. 
“ma’jake, no!” you cry, twisting, but his hands on your back stop you. 
“jus’ a temporary change, baby girl,” jake reassures, chuckling to himself softly. 
miles takes over, grasping your flushed cheeks with his big hands and urging you to turn to him. you gasp when you are faced with his thick cock, your throat going dry at the size of it. 
“remember when i told you we’d stuff you full, sweetheart?” he asks, grunting when the soft puffs of your breath tickle his sensitive length. 
you nod, humming, not breaking your stare at his beautiful cock. 
“well, would you open y’r pretty mouth for daddy?” miles presses his cock to your lips as he asks this, the leaking head tainting your swollen lips with his tangy taste. 
you can’t help the way your tongue juts out and swipes at the sensitive flesh, your arms wobbling when the taste of miles explodes on your tongue. you don’t utter anything anymore as you part your lips as wide as you can before wrapping them around the head of miles’ cock. it is thick and heavy, but you are resolute to tasting it all.
“gentle with your fangs, princess,” miles murmurs, and you hum around a mouthful, relaying to him that you’ve heard him well. the action has him fisting at your braids, hisses spilling from his curled lips. 
“motherfucker!”
you pause, nervous, but miles doesn’t sound angry so you return to swallowing as much as you can. as you do so, you feel jake’s hand spreading your folds apart with his cool fingers, sending jolts of pleasure dancing across your skin.
you try to lift your head up from miles’ cock but find yourself unable to as miles holds your head in place, his grunts ramping up in volume.
in contrast, jake is quiet as he lines up his cock before the entrance of your cunt again. this time, the slide isn’t slow as jake slams all the way in.
you moan around miles’ cock, seeing your vision blurring at the explosive pleasure that overtakes all of your sensitive cores. miles curses from somewhere in front of you before more of his cock slides into your mouth, the head of it bumping the back of your throat.
your arms go weak and you almost collapse, had it not been for jake pulling you to his chest, his face burrowed on the crook of your neck. he snaps his hips forward, bucking, and it makes miles’ cock slide further down your throat. 
you are delirious from the pleasure, your lungs constricting from the overpowering mating capabilities of your two mates. distantly, you feel drool sliding past your stretched lips, as well as the stinging of your ass as jake’s pelvis continues to slap it with the force of his thrusts.
“y’r takin’ me so well, paskalin,” jake croons, his lips roving over your marked neck. “my sweet girl, y’r pussy’s made f’r me, isn’t it?”
you mewl, trying your best to tell jake that yes, you’re his. you’re theirs. but the garbling sound makes miles buck forward, fully burying himself down your throat. before you can get used to his size, he is sliding his cock out, leaving just the head of it grazing your lips, and you blink your teary eyes at him, not knowing what it is that you want miles to do.
miles grins, something that spells danger, and then he is fucking his cock back into your throat. you squeal, not expecting miles’ sudden move or the way that jake thrusted his cock back in your pussy at the same time that miles did.
you go blind for a second, and you feel a spray coming from your heat, drenching your and jake’s thighs. you do not know what the word for it is – you feel yourself coming down from something akin to a high – but both jake and miles moan at the sight of your leaking cunt, rendering them into a frenzy.
“fuckin’ knew y’r a squirter, sweetheart,” miles growls, his ragged voice slicing through the white noise in your head. “i’d want that on my tongue, next time.”
jake groans, the sound pressed onto your shoulder blades. “she’d look so good sittin’ on our faces,” he says. “she’ll cry so prettily but she won’t leave because my baby girl’s a fuckin’ slut, aren’t you, love?”
you can’t reply, too dizzy with the overlapping scent of jake and miles, the two of them complimenting each other. miles grunts in agreement with whatever jake muttered. 
“she’s gon’ beg so prettily – battin’ those pretty lashes, callin’ me ‘daddy’,” quaritch smirks. 
jake howls, his hips stuttering as he buries himself all the way in your cunt, making your belly bulge once again. you sob at the feeling of being stuffed to the brim, your walls clinging onto his length, still so unused to it even after all his teasing.
“gon’ breed you now, yawne,” jake murmurs, his words slurring like he’s drunk. “gon’ bury my seed in you. you want that, won’t you, my love?” 
jake isn’t even done talking when miles pipes in, his thumbs rubbing soothing nothings along your cheekbones. “swallow carefully, princess. daddy doesn’t wanna see you choke.”
then, he stuffs your throat with his cock, the rough fabric of his cargo rubbing against your chin. you whine when it becomes too difficult to breathe and miles murmurs his apologies, sliding out just enough until you are not smothered. 
explosions of heavy warmth fill you up and you squeal, not expecting the gushing warmth that settles in your belly. jake croons at you throughout, murmuring how good you are taking them, how beautiful you would look swollen with their seed. miles remains quiet, choosing instead to watch as you carefully swallow his seed just as he instructed. 
he boops your nose when the last of it is gone.
miles is the first one to pull out, his cock leaving your lips with a distinct ‘pop’. you cringe at the tangy taste remaining on your tongue and miles just huffs, swiping at your bottom lip before he’s pulling you up from your elbows and propping you on your knees.
jake hisses at the sudden move, but with nothing else to pump out, he pulls his spent cock out of you too. you whimper at the oversensitivity it caused and jake murmurs his apologies, pressing his front to your sweaty back, as though he is trying to meld himself to you.
feeling empty, you collapse in miles’ arms, exhaustion hitting you with its full force. miles hums, pushing your braids away from your sweaty face in his attempts at grooming you clean. jake takes the spot behind you again, careful with your sensitive backside and your limp tail.
there is silence as you catch your breath, trying to ignore the feeling of jake’s seed slowly seeping out of your heat. miles settles on your other side, pulling your head so that it is pillowed by his arms. you smile at him in gratitude, unable to use your throat.
it takes a quiet moment until miles murmurs, “lemme taste y’r cunt next, princess.”
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1K notes · View notes
darrellenjoyer · 7 months ago
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i need to stop posting foul shit but i always forget. its become my brand
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simpforboys · 2 months ago
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surprise!
drew starkey x fem!singer!reader
summary: ever since the reader started blowing up, all the interviews and promotions that would ask her who her celebrity crush is, she always had the same answer. so when Jimmy Fallon invites her on his show, he might have a surprise in store…
warnings: fluff!! second hand embarrassment, reader gushes about Drew, she’s just a fangirl at heart
‘perfume’ by del water gap mentioned <3
part two , part three, part four
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2020
“Who’s your celebrity crush?”
“Drew Starkey, he plays Rafe in Outer Banks.”
“Do you have a celebrity crush?
“Yeah, Drew Starkey from Outer Banks.”
“Are there any people you would hope to collab with or meet?”
“Definitely Drew Starkey from Outer Banks.”
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2021
“Last year you said multiple times Drew Starkey is your celebrity crush, is this still true?”
“Yeah, he’s still my main one.”
“Are there any guys you’re interested in?”
“My dream guy is Drew Starkey, if that’s what you mean.”
“What’s your type in a man?”
“Umm… probably Drew Starkey.”
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2022
“Update us on all the boy drama! Anyone interesting?”
“Just waiting for Drew Starkey.”
“You look stunning! Are you here with anyone tonight?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Your crush around Drew Starkey, is that still a thing?”
“It still is… have you seen his new movie ‘Hellraiser’?”
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2023
“Your new EP just released, are any of the songs about Drew Starkey?”
“Not on this one, no. Maybe the next one.”
“Are you seeing anyone? Has Drew Starkey called?”
“No, not yet. Maybe next year.”
“Have you seen season three of ‘Outer Banks’ yet?”
“Yes, oh my god! Drew looked so good.”
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2024
“Your new song ‘Perfume’ is an absolute hit! Is it about Drew Starkey?”
“Omg, no, but it should’ve been.”
“You’ve quickly risen to fame! Has Drew Starkey noticed you yet?”
“Unfortunately, no. He’s probably hiding.”
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Ever since your career started, in every single interview you get the question regarding celebrity crushes, the answer was always the same.
Drew Starkey.
It became a known meme revolving you and your fans, along with the media. Practically every interview just loved to teased you about your known celebrity crush.
Your popularity rose more in 2023 to 2024, so, when Jimmy Fallon reached out to you to have you on his show, your agency immediately agreed.
Standing behind the curtain wearing a tight brown suit, the pants wide-leg. Black boots were your choice of footwear, your makeup done perfectly to match the outfit.
“Ladies and gentlemen, bring your hands together for Y/n L/n!”
When Jimmy announced your name, you came out from behind the curtain, a big smile on your face as you waved to the audience.
Shaking hands and hugging some of the crew members before you finally hugged Jimmy, settling down in the blue chair.
“How are you doing tonight?” Jimmy asks with a warm smile.
“I’m doing good! Pretty nervous to be honest, this is my first talkshow.” You answered sincerely.
The audience clapped and Jimmy sunk back in his seat a little more.
“Well, I’m glad to be your first one! So, your new song ‘Perfume’ recently came out, congratulations on 200 million streams.”
“Thank you so much, really.” Your hands were shaking as you fidgeted with the brown fabric on your knee, one leg crossed over the other.
“So, you’ve been singing since 2020?” Jimmy asks.
“Yeah, I started posting videos on Tik Tok but my career really took off at the end of 2023 and now here we are.” You smile, the whole experience still so surreal.
“Your voice is phenomenal, seriously. I’ll need to have you come back and sing on the show for us.” Jimmy says, causing the audience to erupt into cheers.
You laughed a little, nodding your head. “Of course, anytime.”
Jimmy continued to talk to you for a few more minutes about your career, the conversation flowing smoothly as you cracked some nervous jokes.
“So, I have to ask, Y/n. Since your career began you’ve said your celebrity crush is Drew Starkey, can you tell us more about this?”
You felt your face get a little warm as you shifted in your seat, an anxious smile on your lips.
“I dunno, I guess I’ve just always found him attractive. He’s insanely talented and just seems like a very genuine soul.” You say sheepishly, avoiding looking at the camera.
“He’s also becoming more and more popular right now, with season four of ‘Outer Banks’ that came out in October and November along with his new movie ‘Queer’.” Jimmy adds on.
“Yeah, I’m a pretty big fan so I’ve been following along with it. I’m very proud of him, in like a supportive-fan way.” You say, making the audience laugh at the last part.
You were completely oblivious to Jimmy looking behind you, motioning with his hand underneath his desk.
“So it’s not just his looks?” Jimmy teases.
“I mean, he’s a very beautiful man. He looks good with any haircut especially that mullet he had last year — and oh my god, he just looked so good in season four of ‘Outer Banks.’ Plus he has these big biceps that just bulge out of any shirt.”
You hadn’t even realized you were gushing over your celebrity crush until you finally caught yourself, hearing the audience laughing.
“Oh, gosh. You are really into him, huh?” Jimmy teases.
“What would you do if he was standing right behind you?” The host asks.
If you weren’t so nervous from being on a national talkshow you probably would’ve understood his message.
But your brain caused you to miss it, being as oblivious as ever.
“Probably pass out.” You answered, hearing the audience giggle more. Jimmy had an amused grin on his face.
“Please don’t pass out.”
Your posture immediately straightened, body tense as you stood up from the seat.
Turning around, your heart dropped to your stomach when you saw Drew fucking Starkey standing there.
The audience’s laughter grew as well as Jimmy’s, clearly satisfied with the surprise.
Your hands went to cover your mouth, face feeling hot like you had a fever. You just gushed about this man practically to his face.
“Hi, Y/n. I’m Drew.”
You couldn’t respond, just in pure shock as you stare at the tall man.
Drew also looked a little sheepish, his cheeks pink as he grinned at you.
“Did you— did you hear everything?” You finally managed to choke out.
“Maybe.” Drew chuckled, scratching the side of his neck.
“How do you feel after hearing all that, Drew?” Jimmy chuckles.
“I’m honored,” Drew replies.
You hated the way he fucking said that and the way you understood that reference.
Drew held his hand out for you to shake, but your heart was beating too fast and your brain was turning into nervous mush that you just embarrassed yourself in front of your dream man.
“Are you going to shake his hand? Hug him?” Jimmy chuckled.
“I’m… scared.” You murmured, the audience swooning and giggling over your shyness.
“Can I hug you?” Drew asked.
Stunned, your head slowly nodded. His strong arms wrapped around your body, your forehead resting against his shoulder.
You couldn’t even hug him back properly, just too much in shock. He smelt like cologne and it made your knees weak.
“I love your new song, by the way.” Drew murmured softly in your ear.
“Yeah?” You whisper, feeling like an idiot for the way you were reacting in front of him.
Drew just nods and hums, soothingly caressing your back in an effort to calm you down.
“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up one last time for Y/n L/n and Drew Starkey!” Jimmy has to end the segment.
The audience cheers as Drew continues to embrace you.
He had known about you for the last few months, having a few of your songs in his playlists.
He was just constantly busy so he never really got the chance to reach out, but when Jimmy’s team contacted him about surprising you on the show, he was excited.
And nervous.
“Sorry about surprising you like that.” Jimmy comes over, causing you and Drew to finally pull away.
“You gave me trust issues for talkshows now.” You said jokingly, finally calming down a bit.
Drew and Jimmy both laughed softly.
The film crew told you and Drew that the commercial break would be ending soon so to step off stage.
You did your signature on the wall dedicated to Jimmy’s guests, feeling familiar blue eyes gazing at you.
After thanking each crew member and shaking hands or hugging, an assistant pointed you and Drew towards where a car will take you both back to your perspective hotels.
“You ready?” Drew asked you.
You nodded, feeling nervous due to the fact that you were about to be alone in the back of a car with your celebrity crush, other than the driver in the front.
Drew opened the door for you as you climbed in, hyperaware of how he slid in behind you onto the leather seat.
It was quiet for a few moments, you nervously fidgeting with the rings on your fingers.
“So… you like my new song?”
You finally manage to choke out.
Drew smiled softly, turning his head to look at you. He was still a little flustered at everything that happened, but also very amused.
“I do, yeah. Are you going to shoot a music video for it?” Drew asked.
You nod, making eye contact with him.
“Yeah, my idea is to tell a story about these two lovers who move to like a quieter part, I was thinking either the forest or a desert, that live in poorer conditions but are completely happy and content because they have each other. I want it to be full of love, so kissing, affection, a sex scene.”
You rambled on to him, your eyes falling to your hands as you played with your rings.
“Oh, wow. That sounds cool as fuck.” Drew murmured, also watching your hands fidget. He thought it was cute.
“I’ve had the idea in my head for a few years, actually. I started writing ‘Perfume’ in like… 2021? So, I just want everything to be perfect.”
You added on, looking back at him. He had his left leg crossed over his knee, his body language towards you.
“Well… if you need a male costar, I would love to do it.” He gave you a smile.
A small grin curled onto your lips, stomach hurting at realization of what he just implied.
“Yeah?”
He nodded, licking his lips.
“Mhm. I told you, I love the song. Plus, your idea sounds amazing, and if you want me to, I would love to be apart of it.”
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat when it finally hit you that Drew fucking Starkey wanted to be your on-screen lover.
“You’re not just fucking with me, right?”
You had to ask, blurting it out of your nervous mouth.
Drew just snorted, shaking his head in amusement. “No, I’m not.”
“Okay… I’ll have my manager reach out to your’s about details for when we start shooting. I appreciate it a lot.”
You were unaware the car finally came to a stop, parked outside your hotel, fans and security guards waiting for you.
“Yeah, I’ll definitely be there. Have a good night, Y/n.”
Drew smiled at you, your heart fluttering.
“You too, Drew.”
You got out of the car, letting the security guards guide you inside the hotel. You tried your best to take photos or sign autographs for your dedicated fans, something Drew admired as he watched from the back of the SUV.
By the time you finally got back into your hotel room and kicked off your boots, you started taking off your jewelry.
Flopping down onto the bed, you grabbed your phone.
It felt like your heart dropped to your stomach when one notification specifically caught your eye.
@/drewstarkey started following you back
6K notes · View notes
asahicore · 7 months ago
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stupid in love - psh (m)
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this work contains smut - minors please do not interact
pairing. best friend!sunghoon x fem!reader
synopsis. One night early on in your summer vacation, your best friend Sunghoon admits that his biggest anxiety about starting college is going there as a virgin - one thing leads to another, and you end up learning a few things from each other. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that your feelings for each other surpass friendship, but with the end of summer looming over your heads, it's hard to tell where these newfound emotions will lead you.
genre. best friends/childhood friends 2 lovers, summer au, lots of fluff and smut but also some angst to spice things up, when i say smut i mean LOTS of smut. like mostly smut lol (mutual first time, ice play, crazy stuff)
word count. 22.1k
a/n. bringing this one back from the pits of my google docs guys.. its been so long since i've posted anything and im not sure when the new hoon fic will be ready so i thought i'd repost an og asahicore fic!!! the title was originally 'hot like ice' but i changed it bc this is my blog and i do what i want <3 i'd also like to say that in terms of plot this is probably not something i would write nowadays, it's very smut-heavy and thats not what im about now idk i was crazy back then... but i rmb being happy w this fic and its reception when i first posted it so i'm happy to have it back on my blog and hope u guys will like it too <3 as always lmk what u think!!
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It all started with a lollipop. Well, two, to be exact. One strawberry-flavored, one apple-flavored. 
You stand in front of your friend, lollipops in hand. “Which one do you want, Hoon?” 
“I don’t mind, just pick whichever one you like best,” he replies absent-mindedly, eyes on the TV as he tries to find a suitable movie for this late summer afternoon.
You plop down on the couch next to him and look at the two lollipops in your hands, unable to decide which flavor you like better. “I don’t know what I feel like right now,” you announce to an uninterested Sunghoon. “I’ll just try both.”
That seems to catch your best friend’s attention. He watches as you unwrap both candies, tasting each once, twice, then as you decide you want the apple-flavored lollipop and hand him the strawberry-flavored one. He doesn’t take his eyes off of your lips as you wrap them and swirl your tongue around the candy, letting its sweetness wash over your taste buds. You raise your eyebrows when you notice his staring and he blinks a couple times, trying to snap himself out of it. “Did you want the other one?” you ask, confused by his behavior.
“N-no, I like strawberry,” he stammers, turning his gaze back to the screen in front of you and settling for ‘When Harry Met Sally,’ a movie you’ve both seen a thousand times but never get bored of.
You’re used to Sunghoon getting lost in his thoughts, so you don’t question it much. You sit back on the couch, your knee touching his. You two are no strangers to a little skinship - after being friends for almost eight years, physical contact comes naturally. You have to admit that recently, it’s started to feel different; but the idea of your friendship changing tugs at your heartstrings so much that you ignore the prickles on your skin when he hugs you or the way your stomach flips when he smiles at you, dimples and sharp canines on display. You tell yourself it’s all stupid and that you can handle so much as your knees touching.
Sunghoon, on the other hand, can't. The lollipop in his mouth right now was in yours mere moments ago and you’d given it to him like sharing saliva was no big deal. He feels like a thirteen year-old for thinking like this, but this was pretty much an indirect kiss.
He stares at the TV screen, but all he can see are your perfect lips sucking that lollipop, and his mind is desperately not trying to go there, but he just cannot help himself. Blood rushes to his dick as he pictures your mouth around him, sucking him off with as much enthusiasm as you are the lollipop. Would you like his taste? Would you look up at him with those pretty eyes of yours, smiling even with his dick stuffed in your mouth?
His own thoughts catch him off guard, and before they can get any wilder, he runs off to the bathroom, knowing he’d never live it down if you caught a glimpse of his erection. Thankfully, you don’t, and you call after him, asking if he wants you to pause the movie, to which he shouts back a strangled ‘no.’
He comes back ten minutes later, face flushed and breath heavy. “Goddamn, Hoon, I know we’re best friends, but if you’re going to dump a massive load, I wished you did it in your own bathroom and not mine,” you tease him, laughing as his face gets even redder and he opens his mouth to protest.
“I was just on my phone!” he replies, mildly offended.
“Whatever,” you say, still laughing, and turn your attention back to the movie.
Well. Sunghoon would rather have you think he just took a huge shit than have you know he came to the idea of you sucking him off and swallowing every last drop of his cum. 
--
A few days later, you and Sunghoon are lying on his bed, the both of you on your backs, talking about this and that as you often do. It’s almost 3 a.m., and it feels almost rebellious, being up this late after months of waking up at 6, but your high school graduation was a week ago and you feel like you can do anything. The dim fairy lights you forced him to put up and the bright moon outside are the only sources of light in the room, and when you turn to look at him, you can just make out the outline of his face, the curve of his nose, the sharpness of his jaw. You've looked at him a thousand times before, so your memory makes up for what the light takes away from your eyes. You shift to lying on your stomach, propping yourself up on your elbows so you can take a better look at your friend. Something about the moonlight makes him look ethereal, and his beauty makes your heart skip a beat, but you’d never admit that to him. Out of habit, you reach out to touch his moles, gently placing your middle finger on his nose and your pointer finger on his cheek. Sunghoon closes his eyes at your touch, used to the warm feeling that settles in his stomach whenever you do that.
“Y/N?” he calls out, just as you pull your fingers away from his moles.
“Yeah?”
He opens his eyes again, meeting yours. “Is there anything you’re scared of for next year? You know, heading off to college and all that?” You shift again and lie on your back, the sides of your two bodies touching. You stare at the ceiling for a while, thinking about his question, and Sunghoon patiently waits for your answer.
“I’m scared about not making friends. I’m not the least outgoing person ever, but it’s so intimidating, not knowing anyone. And it’ll be weird not having you around. Shut up,” you warn before he can make an egotistical remark, so he just chuckles. “I’m also worried about the amount of work I’ll have. I’ve heard so many times that it’s a huge step-up from high school, the workload and the type of work and all that. What if I don’t even like the degree that I chose? I know I can change it, but it still stresses me out. Turning 18 doesn’t feel like a huge deal, but going to college does. It’s when all the responsibility hits. My mom told me to make my own doctor’s appointment the other day, and I almost cried when I had to call them. I’m not gonna have anyone to do my groceries for me. I’m scared I might get an awful roommate. I hate the idea of communal showers. I don’t even know what I want to do after college, and I know I have four years to make up my mind, but I’m scared those four years are gonna flash by and I’ll be indebted and unemployed by the end of it.” You pause to take a breath, and you can feel Sunghoon’s eyes on the sides of your face, but he doesn’t say anything. “Also, I heard that you put on a lot of weight during your freshman year.”
You turn to look at him to find him smiling at you. “Wow. That’s a lot.”
The two of you giggle, eyes not leaving the other’s. After a moment, you turn your gaze back to the ceiling and sigh. “Yeah, I know. But I’m more excited than I am scared. What about you?”
Sunghoon follows your gaze and looks up above him. He doesn’t say anything for a while, and when he finally speaks up, he says it so quietly, you almost don’t hear it. “I’m scared of going to college a virgin.”
You try to stay serious for a few seconds, but you can’t keep your laughter in and snort loudly at your friend’s words, laughing so hard your stomach starts to hurt.
“Don’t make fun of me!” he whines, hands coming up to cover his face.
It takes you a while to calm down; not only was Sunghoon’s statement ridiculous, it was so unexpected that you couldn’t stop laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you apologize, catching your breath. “I just can’t believe that that’s what you’re scared of, of all things.”
“What? It’s a perfectly reasonable concern,” he defends himself.
“Nobody’s gonna care if you’re a virgin, Hoon,” you try to reason with him, but if there is one thing your best friend is, it’s stubborn.
“I’m gonna care! What if I like a girl but I can’t bring myself to make a move on her ‘cause I have no experience?”
“But Hoon, chances are she doesn’t have a lot more experience than you do! She’ll be the same age we are, dummy. We’re not sixteen year-olds jumping into a world of twenty year-olds. Sure, some people have their first time in high school, but a lot do it at university. You’ll be fine,” you reassure. His furrowed eyebrows and pout tell you he’s not fully convinced, though.
“Oh, c’mon! If you really want to lose your virginity before leaving, we can get you laid during the summer. I’m sure we can find a girl nice enough,” you tease, jokingly patting his bicep, trying not to make a note of how firm the skin feels under your hand.
Sunghoon sighs, and you can tell he’s actually taking this seriously. “I’m not that desperate that I’d have sex with the first girl that agrees, you know. I’d still rather do it with someone…” He glances at you for just a second. “Someone I trust.”
You feel your face heat up at the possible meaning behind his words, so you look away, not wanting him to see the effect they had on you. He changes his position on the bed, and now it’s his turn to prop himself up on his elbows and look down at you.
“What about you, Y/N? Don’t you think it’d be good to get a bit of experience before going off to college? It’ll be one less thing to stress about,” he says, a small smirk playing on his lips, and his shy demeanor from moments prior is completely gone. Out of fear that his ego would get even bigger, you'd never tell him, but you love it when he gets like that - when he thinks he’s the shit and teases you mercilessly. You know he does it lightheartedly, and it never fails to bring a smile to your face.
Except right now it does. You’re not smiling, far from it; you’re looking up at your best friend, mouth slightly agape and wide eyes searching for a sign that he may be just joking. He raises an eyebrow expectantly, and your reaction is to scoff at him. 
“Do I need to remind you that you’re the reason I have no experience to begin with, Park Sunghoon?” you ask, sitting up on the bed to peer down at him. He shifts again and lays on his back, his hands coming up behind his head as he beams at you.
“Am I really?”
You wish you could slap that shit-eating grin off of his face. This is not the first time you're having this conversation. “Yes, Hoon. Every time a guy was even remotely interested in me, you chased them away. I’m still not over you telling Kang Taehyun I have smelly feet! I had a huge crush on that guy!”
Sunghoon loudly laughs at the memory, and you curse yourself for cracking a smile when you see his face scrunched in laughter. “That was in Year 5, Y/N! It’s been years!”
You grab a pillow and throw it at his head, unable to not laugh along with him. “What about Bang Yedam, then? That was only last year, and you totally ruined my chances with him!”
“Listen, if you having a creepy doll collection is enough to make him not ask you out, then he must not have liked you that much.”
“But I don’t have a creepy doll collection! That’s the whole point!” you say, on the brink of desperation. You sigh at your friend who’s still catching his breath from laughing so much. “You’re just lucky they didn’t repeat your bullshit to anyone. I would’ve had such a weird reputation otherwise.”
“Of course they didn’t. I told them I’d kill them if they did,” he stated matter-of-factly, as if that was a normal and appropriate thing to do.
“Couldn’t you have threatened them that way so they wouldn’t ask me out instead of lying to them about me?”
Sunghoon stares at you for a few seconds, eyes seemingly empty of thought. “Huh. Yeah, I guess I could’ve done that.”
“Ugh,” you groan, and plop down on the bed next to him. Neither of you says anything for some time, until you break the silence again. “You know you even stole my first kiss, Hoon,” you speak softly.
“I know,” he says, voice just as quiet as yours. “You never shut up about it.”
“Why would I? I was about to kiss Lee Heeseung, of all people, the boy everybody, including me, had a crush on, but no, someone had to get between us and kiss me in his stead,” you grumble, giving your friend a harsh side-eye.
Sunghoon sighs and shakes his head as if you’re being irrational. “I don’t get why you’re so hung-up on that. Why would you want your first kiss to be because of a middle-school party dare rather than have it with your best friend, whom you know and trust?”
“It was Lee Heeseung, for God’s sake!”
“And I’m Park Sunghoon!”
Still both laying on your backs, you turn your heads to look at each other. There’s something in his eyes you’ve never seen before that you can’t quite put your finger on. The person in front of you is one you’ve known for years now and yet the look in his eyes is of such unfamiliar intensity that it makes your stomach flip. You inhale sharply when his eyes drift down to your lips, and you can’t help but mirror his actions. The atmosphere has flipped like a light switch; it was playful just mere seconds ago, the sound of your usual banter filling up the room. All of a sudden, there’s something heavy dancing in the air around you, and it makes your heart skip a bit faster and your breath a bit shallower.
Your voice is barely above a whisper when you say his name.
“Yeah?” His eyes snap back up to yours, but you're still stuck on his lips. Have they always looked so kissable?
“Why did you do that? Why did you push those boys away from me?” you ask, even though you’ve asked this question a thousand times before. You want to hear his answer again.
“I’ve already told you. You deserved better than them.” Whenever you ask him about it, Sunghoon always stops here, and you never push. But there are unspoken words left hanging that you’re dying to hear.
“Who, then? Who’d be better than them?”
He's quiet for a second. “It’s a secret,” he whispers finally, a small smirk teasing his lips, and you roll your eyes at him. But then your eyes meet again and your breath hitches. You shift to your side so you can face him more fully, and he mirrors your actions. 
It’s his turn to say your name. “Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Have you kissed anyone since?” he asks, coming off shyer than he’d intended to.
You giggle and smack his shoulder lightly. “Why do you wanna know?”
He snickers too and, to your surprise, stops your fist from hitting him a second time, enveloping his larger hand around yours and laying it between the two of you on the bed. “Cause I should know that sorta thing. Also, if you did kiss someone since then, and I didn’t know about it, I'd be upset.”
“Why would you be mad?” you say, still giggling, trying to ignore the way your heartbeat quickens when he threads your fingers with his.
“Because you wouldn’t have told me!”
“Well…”
“No way, Y/N,” he practically shouts, already feeling betrayed, his free hand coming up to grip his heart in fake shock.
“Let me at least finish first,” you protest. He obliges, although he doesn't look very happy about it. “You know that summer 2 years ago I went away to camp?”
“Yeah, worst summer ever.”
“Well, I did sort of… get with someone, that summer,” you say, avoiding Sunghoon’s wide eyes as he gasps loudly.
“What? Who with? How come you didn't tell me?” he exclaims, letting go of your hand. He sits up on the bed and crosses his arms over his chest like an annoyed child. 
“Because of this exactly.”
“What’s this?”
“Your reaction right now!” you say, sitting up as well, both of your knees grazing his. The simple touch sends a shiver down your spine that you can only hope he takes no notice of.
“Wouldn’t you be a bit upset if I told you I ‘got with’,” he air-quotes, “a random girl two years ago?”
“No? Especially not if it was two years ago?”
You both look just as confused as the other, obviously not on the same wavelength. He furrows his eyebrows and glares at you. “Well, I am.”
You throw your head back in laughter and place your hands on his knees, but when you come forward again, you overestimate the distance between the both of you and find yourself mere inches from his face. The laughter immediately dies in your throat, and you feel it go dry when your stunned reaction elicits a smirk from him. You don’t know how long you stare into his eyes, all you know is you snap out of it when his gaze drifts down to your lips once more. You’re closer now than you were before, and having him so close makes your mind spin with all the possible outcomes of such proximity. You lean back on the bed, pulling away your hands from his knees to hold yourself up on them.
“There’s no reason to,” you say, hoping that breaking the silence will dissipate some of the tension in the air. You keep going back and forth between familiar and dangerous and you don’t know how long you’ll be able to handle that atmosphere. “It’s not like anything grand happened. We made out a bit and held hands. We never spoke after that summer, otherwise you’d have known about it.” 
Sunghoon lets out a low hum. His eyes are still trained on yours, and you wished he’d look away because you can’t seem to do it yourself. He still doesn’t say anything, so you speak up again. “You say that like you’ve never had girlfriends, by the way. Surely you’ve done more than just kissing.” Silence again, and you can’t decipher the look he’s giving you. “So, I don’t know what you’re so scared about, because it’s not like you have zero experience. I’m sure the girls at uni will love you, Hoon.”
He sighs and finally tears his eyes away from yours, and you’re not sure if you’re seeing things because of how dark and late it is or if there’s an actual blush creeping on his cheeks. “Sure, I’ve had a couple girlfriends, but you know they’ve never lasted long,” he says, looking down at his lap. “We made out… I guess I-” he gives you a quick glance, “I’ve touched their boobs and they’ve touched my… you know…”
You can’t help but giggle at how shy your friend is suddenly being. “Can’t even say the word ‘penis’, Hoon?,” you tease, and his eyes snap back up at yours.
“Of course I can. Penis! There.” You look at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter, Sunghoon hushing you so you don’t wake up his parents, but his hushes are louder than your laugh. After a couple minutes, you calm down and wipe your tears away, grateful for the break in the tension between you and Sunghoon.
“Anyway, yeah, I guess I don’t have that much experience. Which is why I brought it up in the first place.” And just as quickly as it’d left, the tension is back again.
You look around the room because the weight of Sunghoon’s gaze on your face is unbearable. You release a shaky breath when you feel his gentle hand on your knee, and your eyes drift to it, but you can’t get yourself to look him straight in the eyes. 
“Don’t you think it’d be good to get experience before leaving for college, Y/N?” he asks, and you can tell he’s trying to sound confident, but his voice comes out breathier and shakier than he must intend it to.
“I don’t know… I don’t think it’s necessary,” you say, eyes still trained on his hand resting on your knee. He squeezes it a bit, making you finally look up at him. Is it just you, or did the room get hotter all of a sudden?
“Not everything you do has to be out of necessity, you know.”
The both of you stare at each other for a few moments. This shift in your relationship was bound to happen; you’d been feeling it more and more recently. You didn’t use to think twice about Sunghoon taking your hand in his, nor did you feel those stupid butterflies eating away at your stomach every time his gaze lingered for a second too long. You’d tried to reason with yourself that it was just teenage hormones doing their stupid job, and that you were doomed to feel some kind of attraction for your extremely handsome best friend at some point in your life, but that if you ignored it hard and long enough it would go away.
Well, now that Sunghoon’s lips are barely inches away from yours and your skin is on fire under his hand, it definitely isn’t going away.
“What would you do if I kissed you?” Sunghoon asks, eyes fluttering down to your lips. You think he’s looked at your lips more than the rest of your face in the past hour.
“I’d slap you,” you lie, gaze mirroring his.
“Would you really?” he says, and your hesitation makes him smirk slightly.
“No,” you breathe out, and it’s the answer he’s been waiting for, the answer he needs to finally press his soft lips against yours. 
You don’t even have the time to savor the moment, though, because the warmth of his lips is gone as quickly as it came. He pulls back, a surprised look in his eyes, as if he can’t believe what he just did. The tension above you breaks and rains down on you like small pieces of confetti that settle comfortably on your head and shoulders. There’s a knot in your stomach but instead of twisting your insides in nervousness, it feels warm and makes you giddy for what’s to come next. Sunghoon’s surprised expression transforms into a grin at the sound of your laughter, and he can’t help but chuckle along with you.
You scooch closer to him, and his other hand comes to rest on your second knee. You can tell he’s not going to do much more, so you lean in bit by bit, and peck him softly on the lips. You both giggle again and you blame the fact that you want to feel his lips on yours again on the late hour of the night. You peck his lips once, twice more, giggling inbetween, but when you peck them a third time, he doesn’t let you pull away and keeps his lips on yours. The sudden added strength takes you aback, but it doesn’t take you long to yield to his touch and kiss him back. 
Sunghoon moves his lips slowly against yours and it’s surprisingly easy to fall into his rhythm. You don’t have the most experience with kissing, but something about doing it with your best friend reassures you and your whole body relaxes as you focus on the feeling of his lips moving in cadence with yours. The knot in your stomach stays there and tightens when his hands ride up your thighs and settle on your hips, holding you snugly there. You’re only wearing shorts and his palms against your bare skin make you release a shaky breath in Sunghoon’s mouth. You pull back for a bit, surprised at your own reaction, but nothing has prepared you for the way your best friend looks at you.
His pupils are dilated, dark; his glossed-over eyes bore right into yours. Your breath was already shallow from the kiss, but it’s his gaze that renders you completely breathless. Sunghoon tightens his grip on your hips and leans in for more, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him, making his eyes snap back into focus.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what took over me. Are you okay?” he asks, as short of breath as you are, but worry laced in his voice.
“No- Yes- I mean, yes, I’m fine, everything’s fine, I just-” you shake your head, trying to gather your thoughts. “I’m just…”
“Tell me. You can tell me,” he says, rubbing gentle circles into your hips with his thumb, and the unfamiliar yet intimate gesture makes it even harder to concentrate. 
“We- we’re best friends, right?” you ask, voice trembling, You ask, even though you know the answer, just because you’re afraid the line the two of you have just crossed is already miles behind you, and you won’t be able to retrace your steps.
“Yeah, of course we are,” Sunghoon reassures, head tilting to the side in confusion. 
“And best friends… Do they… Well, it’s normal for best friends to kiss, right?” you say, trying to calm the overpowering urge to kiss him again.
Sunghoon chuckles and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I don’t know about that, Y/N.”
“Oh,” you breathe.
Sunghoon quickly catches on to your hesitation. “But who cares about what best friends usually do and don’t do?” he says, holding your face between his hands to make you look up at him. “I liked kissing you, just now. I really, really liked it,” he admits, red dusting his cheeks. “Did you?”
You nod, too shy to put just how much you enjoyed kissing Sunghoon into words. “Do you want to do it again?” he asks and chuckles when you nod again, eyes already on his lips. This time, you don’t stop him when he leans in and let him press his lips to yours again. His words have reassured you and you sigh into his mouth, making him smile into the kiss. 
His hands ride up a bit and settle on your waist, bringing you a bit closer to him, and you circle your arms around his neck. The shyness of the first kiss is completely gone, and you’re both gaining more and more confidence, letting everything go and focusing solely on where your bodies meet. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss, and you push your body onto his, a sudden need to feel him against you, to feel his strong arms encaging you. 
You pull away at the same time to catch your breaths, smiling at each other when you see how lustful the other’s expression is. Sunghoon’s eyes have glossed over once more, and you’re sure yours have too. “C’mere,” he whispers, beckoning you to him. You climb onto his lap, one knee on each side of his hips. “Is this okay?” he asks, but you don’t answer, you just lean in and kiss him again, holding his face in your hand as his hands roam your back over the thin fabric of your t-shirt. Your kisses are curious, the both of you trying to figure out what feels best as you tilt your heads from one side to the other and let your inquisitive hands travel each other’s bodies. Yours find purchase in his hair, and you revel in the sighs that escape his lips whenever you pull and tug at the strands. 
As the kiss gets hungrier and needier, his hands fall down to your lower back, and then to your ass. He just cups it for a while, but after a few moments, grabs it harder and brings you close to him, making your core rub against  the hardness that had been building in his sweatpants for a while now. The friction is unexpected and you can’t help the loud moan leaving your lips at the feeling. It’s a feeling you know from your own hand in the privacy of your dark room, but Sunghoon making you feel that way is so foreign that it snaps you out of the daze you’re in. 
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, was that too much?” Sunghoon scrambles for words, but you’re already pulling away, and he doesn’t know what to do to keep you close.
You sit back on the bed, holding your knees close to your chest. You look at your best friend in front of you who’s looking at you with a worried expression. Something in you craves to reach a hand out to him, to feel his cheeks and jawline under your palms again, to find out if he’d shiver at your touch and if goosebumps would form on his skin. He’s been your best friend for eight years, and you’ve always thought you knew everything about him, the same way he’s supposed to know everything about you. But you realize in this moment that there are things you don’t yet know, melodies to be discovered, treasures to be unearthed. Your fingertips are burning to find them all. 
The sound of your name resonates inside your mind and it takes you everything not to fall back on him again. You furrow your eyebrows, confused by all those things you’re feeling. What was it that just took over you, that lit your insides up so?
You straighten your back suddenly and take in your surroundings. Sunghoon’s room is still the same old room you’ve always known, the same blue walls, the same posters he only ever changes when he finds a new interest and lets go of an old one. The same pictures from when you were 10, 12, 15, recent ones now that you’re 18; the same figure skating trophies and medals on his shelves. You turn to look at your best friend. The same soft, round cheeks contrasted by a sharp jaw; the same almond eyes, round with worry at your sudden movement away from him; the same two moles you’ve always found so comforting, for some reason. You almost reach out to touch them, to give you some sense of balance, to reassure you that things aren’t changing as much as it feels like they are. But you’re scared electricity might fry your fingers if you touch him right now. You’re scared you won’t be able to take your fingers off of him, no matter how much it stings. His face is the same as always before, but there’s something else to it, something you could probably figure out if you spent more than three seconds thinking about it, but you’re not sure you want to figure it out.
“Is everything okay? Did- Did I do something wrong?” he asks, voice laced with concern. 
Before he can put a reassuring hand on your knee, you get off of the bed, and hurriedly say, “No. I just- I think I should go home.” You look everywhere but at him.
He sits up at your words, concern turned into confusion. “It’s 3 a.m., Y/N, why do you want to go home all of a sudden? You’ve stayed over plenty of times before.”
“I know, I just…” you trail off, trying to come up with an excuse. “I’ve got cramps. I think my period’s coming,” you lie. It’s better than whatever truth is threatening to bubble up.
“Oh. Right.” He scooches a bit, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Is there anything- like- can I do anything?” He sighs, steadies himself. “You don’t have to go, is what I’m trying to say.”
A few months ago, when you had finally wrapped your head around the fact that your best friend was an attractive man and that he made you feel things friends weren’t supposed to make you feel, you’d told yourself it was all just a phase that would pass soon. But feelings this strong surely cannot go away that easily.
You take a deep breath in and tear your eyes away from him. “I think I should go home,” you repeat. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Hoon.”
You turn around and start walking away, but Sunghoon is quick on his feet and stops you from going out the door. “Do you actually have cramps? Or are you just scared that our friendship might change?” He sounds out of breath, like asking this question is taking him all of his energy.
You avert his gaze and try to push past him, but he’s much stronger than you. Puberty sure played its trick on him. You sigh and look down at your feet. “I’m tired, Hoon, let’s talk about it tomorrow.”
But if there is one thing your best friend is, it’s stubborn. “I don’t wanna talk about it tomorrow. I wanna talk about it now. Did it feel nice?” he asks, and his resolute tone of voice makes you look up at him.
“I- I mean-”
“Y/N,” he starts, wrapping his arms around you and leaning in a bit, his familiar scent filling your nostrils. You have to close your eyes. “Answer me. Did it feel good?”
“Yes,” you answer without thinking. 
“Is that why you’re scared?”
“Yes.” Your eyes flutter open when you feel his fingers graze your cheek. He leans in again and traps your kiss in a much softer and intimate kiss that makes your head spin and your thoughts cloud. Before you can get carried away, you pull away again, and ignore how beautiful he looks when his eyes stay closed for a couple of seconds longer. He only opens them once you tell him once again you should go home, that you need some time to think.
“Let me at least walk you there. It’s dark,” he pleads, his grip on your waist still tight.
“Hoon, I live right next door, I’ll be fine.” You let him kiss you once more and he makes you promise to call or text him tomorrow.
When you leave, Sunghoon plops back down on his bed, arm resting on his forehead as he plays back the events of the night. Had he done something wrong? Something that made you want to get as far away from him as quickly as possible? He’d tried to be gentle and to make sure you were okay with everything, but he couldn’t help but get carried away when he heard those sweet sighs of yours. He thought he was going to combust when he heard you moan, and he wanted to hear it over and over again, but you’d jumped from him like he’d told you he had killed someone.
He hopes you were telling the truth when you said you were just scared about your friendship changing. He hadn’t wanted to push and get you to stay; he knew it was weird, seeing each other in a different light all at once. He wasn’t completely oblivious; he’d felt that same shift in your relationship those past few months, just like you had, although you’d never spoken about it to each other. He knew he could never go back to seeing you as just a friend when he’d jerked off one day and you were all he could think of. He kept imagining the sounds you’d make and the way your hands would feel on him, and he’d gotten so close to getting that today, but he must’ve fucked something up and now his chances were ruined. He curses himself for letting you slip through his fingers just when he thought he finally had you.
You don’t get a wink of sleep that night. Your mind is reeling with everything that happened in Sunghoon’s room. Your fingers unconsciously keep coming up to touch your lips and feel the ghost of his touch there. Your skin turns hot at the simple thought of how perfect his lips had felt against yours, and you toss and turn in your bed as you consider what might’ve been, had you stayed with Sunghoon. 
But it’s all happening too quickly, and even though you’ve been curious in more ways than one about your best friend for the past few months, you hadn’t expected to kiss him and to enjoy it so much on a random summer night. Your thoughts only seem to calm down and your eyes finally close just as the sun starts to rise.
--
The next day, Sunghoon wakes up in the early hours of the afternoon and checks his phone right away. A couple of notifications, but nothing from you. A text from Jake in their group chat with Jay asking to hang out at Sunghoon’s pool, to which he replies that they can come whenever. He taps a quick one out in the shower, memories of your scent and your lips on his getting him to finish quicker than he’d like to admit. He’s in the middle of a late breakfast when Jake and Jay spawn at his door, swimming trunks already on. Still nothing from you.
It doesn’t take Jay and Jake long to figure out that something is up with their best friend. It’s not like he does much usually, but today especially, he makes no effort to entertain them. He laughs at their jokes, but it feels like he laughs because he hears other people laughing rather than because he genuinely finds them funny. He barely even reacts when the inflatable pool ball hits him right in the face.
His friends don’t say anything until they’re all seated at a table by the pool, sipping on some ice-cold Coke. The air is still warm but the sun is low in the sky, hidden behind the house. Sunghoon is still lost in his thoughts, unblinking eyes fixed on a random point in the distance. Jay and Jake exchange a look before the former breaks the silence.
“Is everything alright, Hoon? You look out of it today.”
Jay’s voice brings him back to the here and now, and his eyes jump back and forth between his two friends who are looking at him expectantly. “Huh? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just tired. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” he says, leaving some of the truth out, but his friends know him better than he gives them credit for.
“Are you sure? I feel like there’s something you’re not telling us. You usually act like a little bitch when you’re tired, you don’t get all…,” Jake shakes his hand in front of his face, “distant like that.”
Sunghoon bites his lip, debating whether he should tell his friends about you or not. No matter how stupid they may be, they also know both of you quite well, so they might prove not completely useless, he thinks.
“Y/N and I kissed last night.”
It’s almost comical, how Jay and Jake bring their head forward in astonishment, how wide their mouth gets, how their eyes look like they might pop out of their sockets, and how they say “You what?!” at the same time. On a normal day, Sunghoon would've laughed.
“We kissed,” Sunghoon repeats, eyes drifting down to the ground in front of him as he rubs his neck in embarrassment.
“Fucking finally!” Jay exclaims.
“Told you it was gonna happen. No way you two were going to stay just besties forever,” Jake teases, punching Sunghoon in the arm. “How was it?”
Sunghoon sighs and leans back in his chair, letting his head hang back. “Really fucking amazing,” he chuckles. His friends holler for him, snickering like 12-year old boys who just saw a hot girl walk past. 
“God, I saw this coming from miles away. I don’t know why you kept on insisting nothing was gonna happen between you two,” Jake says, beaming.
“I really didn’t think anything would… I just… Started seeing her differently recently, I guess.” Sunghoon shrugs, sheepishly smiling to himself.
“So, what happened? Did you guys just kiss or…?” Jay asks, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Jake giggles at the insinuation of sex but has a curious glint in his eyes when he waits for Sunghoon’s answer.
“Yeah, um, we just kissed cause she- she sort of ran away?” Sunghoon admits, wincing at the recollection.
“You what?!” Chaeyong’s voice rings out in the food court of the mall where you’re currently sitting, halfway through your strawberry milkshake.
“Keep it down, would you?!” you scold her, smiling apologetically to the people staring at you and your friend.
“If it was so good, why the hell did you run away, Y/N?”
“I just- I don’t know… Freaked out, I guess…” you mumble, cowering under the harsh look she gives you.
“Well, have you talked since?” You don’t reply, just guiltily avoid her gaze. “Y/N!”
“I know, I know! I just… don’t know what to do. ‘Hey, nice making out with you last night, bit weird since we’ve been best friends since we were 11, but that’s fine, right?’ Ugh! That’s so stupid,” you complain, flopping back in your chair.
“That’s exactly what you should say. Going MIA on him will just make things weirder. Plus you’ve never gone more than 24 hours without speaking so one of you will eventually cave in. It should be you,” she says, looking at you with a raised eyebrow as she takes a sip from her milkshake. 
You scoff when she gives you a ‘you know I’m right’ look. “I’ll think about it on the way home and text him. There.”
And you do think about it on the way home; but you don’t get the opportunity to send the text, because as soon as you get off the bus at the stop right across from your house, you see Sunghoon sitting on the bench of your porch, looking around nervously and rubbing his hands on his denim shorts. You chuckle to yourself; who knew he got so distressed from not speaking to you for a day?
He stands up when he sees you approaching and raises his hand in a quick wave. “Hi, Hoon,” you greet, and you can feel his whole body relax when you hug him. So, you don’t hate him, he thinks. You sit down on the bench together. “Sorry I didn’t text you. I didn’t know what to say after… last night,” you admit, hugging your knees to your chest as you sit facing him.
“Yeah, I figured,” he chuckles, smiling shyly at you. “I was scared you’d never want to see me again.”
You look at him with wide eyes, mildly offended, and punch his arm. “How could you think that?!”
“Well, you did sort of run away from me last night,” he says, lightly punching your arm in return.
You tut in defeat. “I did, didn’t I?” 
“Yeah. I’m just glad you didn’t walk past me straight into your house just now.”
You chuckle and rest your head on top of your knees. “That would’ve been a bit much, even for me.”
Sunghoon lets out a puff of air through his nose in response, and then the two of you sit in silence. You’re contemplating what to do next when your friend pulls you from your thoughts. “Should we, um…” He shuts his eyes tightly in reflection for a second before opening them again and looking straight at you. “Should we just pretend like last night didn’t happen? Would that make you feel more comfortable?”
His words take you aback and your eyes widen a bit; you hadn’t even thought pretending nothing happened last night was an option, because you didn’t think you’d ever be able to actually get it out of your head. Even now, if you stare at Sunghoon for too long, your gaze will naturally drift downwards or you’ll get a flashback of his large hands around your waist. But apparently, if he can offer to pretend like the previous night wasn’t a thing, then it must not have been such a huge deal to him. You quickly try to hide your disappointment and nod at your friend. “Right. Yeah. Sure.”
Silence makes its way between you two again. It makes the late afternoon breeze a bit chillier and the physical distance between you and Sunghoon feel much bigger than it actually is. Wanting it to go away quickly, you ask, “Do you wanna watch a movie, then?”
Sunghoon’s never looked so relieved about watching a movie, and he immediately accepts your offer. You get some popcorn ready while he searches for a movie to watch. He clicks on a horror movie that looks like it’s got a cliché storyline and awful acting, but you’re happy for any sort of distraction when Sunghoon is sitting so close to you.
You and Sunghoon always sit close-by when you watch something together, knees and shoulders brushing against each other. Tonight isn’t any different, except that your skin burns everywhere it touches his. You can smell the faint scent of chlorine in his hair, and it’s so intoxicating you want to bury your face there and breathe it in.
You’re thirty minutes into the movie and still nothing’s happened when Sunghoon puts his arm around you, letting his hand hang over your shoulder. The sudden warm contact makes you take a sharp intake of breath as memories of the previous night come flooding once again. You don’t know what you were expecting, but Sunghoon simply rests his hand there and doesn’t do anything more for another thirty minutes, except for squeezing your shoulder when there’s a small jumpscare, making you chuckle at him. This isn’t much more than what you’re used to with him, but knowing your friend, he must be thinking the ball is in your court. So you scooch a bit closer into his side and rest your head on his shoulder, the scent of his skin even stronger now that your nose is so close to his neck. You feel his chest raise and relax as he sighs deeply and tightens his hold around your shoulders. His small reactions to you spur you on and you decide to wrap an arm around his waist and you feel him flinch oh-so-slightly at your touch in such a sensitive spot. He starts to rub circles into your shoulder and rests his head on top of yours, and your whole body relaxes into his. This is so much more than what you’re used to with him; and yet, you so readily melt under his touch.
You can barely focus on the movie because of how close Sunghoon is. When a particularly scary ghost jumps on the screen, you flinch and hide your face in his neck, and he giggles at your reaction, hand coming up to stroke your hair comfortingly. It only takes you a few seconds to realize what position you’re in, and you release a shaky breath as you slowly lift your head towards Sunghoon, only to find him already looking at you, seemingly having had that same realization. When his eyes drift down to your lips, you know you’re done for.
You call out his name, and he’s already answered ‘Yes?’ before you’ve had time to finish uttering the second syllable. “I don’t think I want to pretend last night never happened,” you admit, holding his waist a bit tighter.
“Good. Me neither,” he breathes out before leaning down and trapping your lips in his, the kiss releasing all your pent-up frustration of the day. The world seems to melt away with his lips on yours, the movie already long forgotten. Sunghoon pulls you into his lap and you slide your palms up from his waist, against his chest and to his shoulders before wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing your body closer to his. His hands are sitting on your hips, fingers lightly pressing into them and your lower back. Now that you both seem to know what you want, it’s so easy, just falling into this kiss.
His tongue darts out to lick your bottom lip and you gladly open your mouth for him, letting his tongue explore it. You haven’t kissed someone like this in ages, maybe ever, but Sunghoon takes the lead and effortlessly gets you to follow his rhythm. When a flick of his tongue against yours feels particularly nice, you arch your back and press your chest into his, making him smirk into the kiss. This time, when he brings your hips down onto his, letting you feel his erection against your clothed core, the feeling doesn’t make you want to run away; instead, you want to feel it again and again.
You fall into a nice pace of rubbing yourself against him, eliciting hushed moans and loud breaths from the both of you. You can’t concentrate on kissing him and grinding down on him at the same time, so you drop your head down to bury your face in his neck, leaving a few pecks there but mostly moaning against his skin, enjoying how your hot breaths make him shiver.
You can’t keep a whine from escaping your lips when he bucks his hip into yours and his tip brushes directly against your covered clit, instantly bringing a hand up to your mouth. “Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes. “I know we gotta keep quiet ‘cause of your parents but the sounds you’re making are so fucking pretty. I wanna hear them over and over again.” His words make you whimper against his neck and you feel your slick starting to pool in your panties.
“H-hoon. This feels so good,” you moan, breathing warmly against the shell of his ear.
“I know, right? Feels so good,” he chuckles, hands grabbing at your ass to bring you harder down onto him. His actions are about to elicit another moan from you when, all of a sudden, a loud jumpscare in the movie makes you jump away from the boy underneath you and yelp in fear, which in turn makes him scream in surprise. You look at each other, panting and eyes open wide, hands clutching at your hearts, until you burst into laughter. The fun moment is short-lived, however, as your mom rushes down the stairs not ten seconds later, frantically asking if everything is alright. 
You sit up straight at the sight of your mother and clear your throat. You’re thankful for the dark of the room which hides your and Sunghoon’s swollen lips and flushed faces from her view. “Sorry, mom, we were just watching a scary movie. We’re fine.” She sleepily nods and walks back up the stairs, and when she’s back in her room, Sunghoon and you exchange a look and erupt into another fit of smaller, quieter giggles. 
That night, after Sunghoon’s gone home, the both of you get yourselves off in your own beds, the strong memory of each other’s lips and hands bringing you both to your releases. Without even realizing it, you moan out Sunghoon’s name as your orgasm hits. The window from your room doesn’t face his; but still, your heart is beating so loudly that you’re afraid the sound might carry from your open window to his. You get up and close it.
--
Now that you and Sunghoon both know you want to kiss each other, you do it everywhere: in his pool, his back pressed against the wall; on the sunchairs when you were supposed to be drying off; on your beds in the middle of the night, none of your parents or siblings suspicious of anything; in front of your house, because even though he was supposed to just walk you home, he couldn’t keep himself from tasting you one last time; in the backseat of his car after an evening with your friends and he drove you two home.
You spend a good two weeks of just kissing before your body starts to crave something more. At some point, Sunghoon’s hands resting nicely on your waist or sometimes, if he’s feeling bold, grabbing at your ass, start to not be enough anymore. You knew you wouldn’t be satisfied with just kisses and sweet touches when one day, his hands slowly but surely slid up your naked belly before grabbing onto your bikini-clad breast, lighting your whole body up on fire. He’d slipped his hand underneath your swimming top and rolled your nipple between two fingers and you had felt his dick twitch under your core when you let out a loud moan at the new yet so pleasurable feeling.
You know what it is that you want, but it makes you feel dirty. Your fingers have made you finish a hundred times before, but wanting Sunghoon to make you feel that way is a whole other story. Is that even what he wants? Would he be weirded out if you asked him about it? Is there even the sliver of a chance that maybe, just maybe, he has those same thoughts about you, and wants you to make him feel good as much as he wants to make you feel good?
If his grunts and the way he ruts into you when your make-out sessions get particularly steamy are any indication, then the answer to those questions would respectively be yes, no, and yes. 
You’re lying on a sunbed one afternoon, letting the sun dry off your wet skin from the pool, when you finally muster the courage to tell Sunghoon about your wishes. After all, he is your best friend, and you know you can talk to him about anything. Even when that ‘anything’ involves his fingers inside of you and his dick in your mouth.
“Sunghoon?” you call out, turning your head to look at your best friend. He’s bathing in the sunlight without a care in the world. His skin has tanned a bit since summer started three weeks ago and his muscles are even more defined after all that swimming and working out he’s been doing. You want to reach out a hand, to feel the taut skin of his abs and chest under your palms, and to maybe then slide your hand down until you feel his hard-on underneath his swimming trunks. Your chairs aren’t far apart and you could do it from where you are, but you’d rather ask him first.
“Yeah?” he answers without turning towards you.
You take a deep breath in before you start talking again. “You know how you said it could be good for us to get… experience before going to college… And how we’ve been kissing these past couple weeks…”
“Yeah, I know,” he chuckles.
“Well… people do more than just kissing, right?” you ask, voice slightly shaky. This seems to pique his interest as he turns to look at you.
“Yeah?” 
You hope you’re not just imagining the enthusiastic tone in his voice. “I think… I think we should try that too, don’t you think?” you ask, eyes not leaving his as he sits up on his chair and turns his knees towards you, fully facing you now.
“Yeah, I agree. I completely agree.” He stares at you for a few moments as if in disbelief. “Do you want to- Should we- Let’s go up to my room, yeah?” he offers, standing up and reaching his hand out to you. You gladly take it.
You and Sunghoon are a giggling mess as you practically run up the stairs, unable to get to his room quick enough. As soon as the door is closed behind you, you wrap your arms around each other, your lips finding his immediately as he walks you back to his bed. When you feel the back of your knees hit it, you detach yourself from him and lay on it, elbows holding you up as you look up at him expectantly.
“Fuck,” he whispers, leaning in to hover over you. He traps your lips in a short but sweet kiss before pulling back and murmuring against your lips, “Have I ever told you how pretty you are, Y/N?”
You beam at his words but decide to tease anyway. “You always go on and on about how pretty you are, but never about me.”
He giggles and pecks your lips again. “Well, I’m telling you now. You’re gorgeous.” You kiss him to hide your flustered face, pulling him so close to you he’s practically laying on top of you. Your hands are a bit more curious than usual, your kisses hungrier, the both of you anticipating what’s to come. 
You grind against each other, the feeling of his erection against your barely covered core enough to send your mind into a frenzy. You forget everything around you when you feel Sunghoon pull back in the slightest, far enough so that he can look at your face and gauge your reactions but not too much that you still feel his hot breath on your lips. One of his hands is holding the back of your head as the other travels downwards, stopping for a second on your breast to massage it lightly before continuing its journey. It ever-so-slightly brushes against your core, making you buck your hips up into his touch, but his hand is already gone leaving you whining and pouting and him chuckling at your cute reaction. “You want it that bad, huh?” he teases.
You scoff, not wanting to let your friend know the effect he has on you. You press your palm against his clothed erection and he hisses at the unexpected contact. “So do you, Hoon.”
When he presses his lips to yours again, you both smile into the kiss. You cup his jaw and tangle your fingers through his hair, and his hand slips from under your head and joins his other hand on your thigh, grabbing at both of them, fingers slightly digging in your skin. He’s so, so close to where you want him most, and he seems to have noticed your growing impatience by the way you squirm underneath him. Seeing you so needy for him only makes him needier for you; he has more experience than you, so you probably expect him to take the lead, but the truth is, he has no idea what the fuck he’s doing.
“Y/N?” he murmurs, face buried in your neck as he leaves a trail of wet kisses there.
“Yeah?”
“What do you want me to do?”
The question takes you a bit by surprise. You pull away to look at your friend. His eyes are completely glossed-over, and yours are probably the same. “Oh. I don’t know. I just… want you to touch me, I guess,” you say, voice a bit quiet.
“I don’t know how to do that,” he admits sheepishly. He kisses your neck and cheeks before pecking your lips. “Could you- could you show me? How you do it? And I can show you how I do it?”
You take a second to take his words in. Was he suggesting that you touch yourself in front of him, and that he do the same?
This was like a dream come true.
“Yeah, sure.”
Sunghoon giggles in response, and you can’t help but crack a smile too, even though the idea of getting yourself off in front of your friend, no matter how appealing, is still a bit nerve-wracking. “You first,” he says, a mischievous glint in his eyes, and you roll your eyes at him.
You sit back against the headboard of the bed and slip a hand underneath your swim bottom, the other hand coming up to cover your eyes in an attempt to escape Sunghoon’s heavy, lustful gaze. “None of that. I wanna see you,” he says, pulling your hand away from your eyes and resting it on a pillow next to you. “And if you keep these on, I won’t be able to see anything,” he says, looking down at your bikini top.
Before you can protest, he comes to sit on his knees in front of you, kissing your neck and letting his hands roam your back. “I wanna see all of you.” It’s so easy, untying your string bikini, he almost thinks you wore it on purpose for him to take it off. You avoid his gaze as he takes your top off of you, leaving you half-naked in front of him. “So pretty,” he whispers, and you can’t help but look at him, slick pooling between your legs from the fascination he’s looking at your breasts with. He trails kisses down your neck until he reaches them, taking a nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it, then looks up to see your reaction. You never knew your nipples were this sensitive, and you can’t help but arch your back at his touch and moan loudly, hand flying up to tug at his soft hair. He releases your nipple with a pop and moves sideways to pay the same attention to the other one, but Sunghoon is impatient and doesn’t waste too much time on it; he knows he can come back to your boobs later anyway. Right now, you’ve got a hand between your legs, and that’s what he’s dying to see.
“Can I take this off, too?” he asks, looking up at you as his fingers hook on the sides of your swimming bottoms, waiting for you to nod. His eyes don’t leave your glistening core as he pulls the thin fabric down your legs, discarding it somewhere on the floor of his room. He lays on his belly and kisses the inside of your knee as he holds your thighs in his large hands, still transfixed by your pussy when he says, “Show me how you do it, please.”
You both take a sharp breath in when you start moving two fingers in gentle circles over your clit, already wet from making out with Sunghoon. Your fingers are nimble and know exactly what to do after years of doing this, but the pulse in your core is even stronger now that your best friend is watching your movements this intently. He looks like he’s scared to blink in case he might miss something. You can’t take your eyes off of his face; you’ve never seen him so fascinated by something, so eager to learn. It makes you want to put on a show for him.
A surge of confidence hits you out of nowhere as you slide your digits down your folds, gathering some slick before sliding them back up to your clit and rubbing it a bit faster, a bit harder, your moans growing louder and higher in pitch. With your free hand, you tug at the base of Sunghoon’s hair and make him look up at you. You release his hair and bring your pointer finger up to your mouth, sucking on it and swirling your tongue around it, and Sunghoon’s mind is taken back to that day a couple weeks ago when you had sucked on those lollipops. Oh, how things have changed since then. Not that he’s complaining. “Fuck, that’s hot,” he breathes out, eyes zeroed in on your lips and mouth slightly agape.
You smirk at his reaction, stomach on fire with the feeling of having this kind of power on him. When you’ve wet your finger enough, you bring it down to your slit, circling around your hole before entering it, releasing a loud moan for good measure. Sunghoon is mesmerized by the quickening with which your finger slips in and out of you, the fingers on your clit never relenting. He doesn’t even realize he’s released one of your thighs to palm himself over his shorts until you notice it yourself and tut in disapproval.
“Come and help me, Hoon,” you say, and the boy snaps out of his daze at the sound of his nickname. He nods slowly, changing his position so that he’s laying between your legs, head dangerously close to your core. You slip your other finger out of your hole and he takes that as a sign to replace it with his own. One hand still gripping your thigh, he imitates your previous actions as he gets his pointer finger wet with his saliva before pressing it between your folds, right underneath your clit where your fingers are still rubbing circles, sliding it down towards your slit, and finally pushing it in. 
“So warm… So wet, too,” he whispers in wonder, making you cover your eyes with your forearm out of shyness.
“Oh my God,” you moan, arching your back and letting your head drop to the side on the pillow. Sunghoon’s finger is much thicker and longer than your own, and it stretches you out and hits a deep spot inside you you never could, no matter how much you tried.
“Like this?” he asks, eyes curious as they bounce back and forth between your face and your entrance sucking his finger in.
“Yes, yes, just like that, you can also- oh- you can also curve it upwards a bit- fuck, yeah, just like that, Hoon, you’re doing so well,” you say, the praises just flying out of your mouth. 
This seems to instill some confidence in him, as he cocks an eyebrow at you and speeds up his actions. “Yeah? My finger making you feel good, Y/N?”
“Oh, shut up,” you bite back, but immediately let out a long whine when he easily inserts a second finger in your soaking pussy. He curves them inside you just like you told him to, and the feeling of his fingers filling you up and your own quick ones on your clit are creating a familiar knot in your stomach that is so close to breaking. That is, until Sunghoon pulls your wrist away from your clit.
“Y/N… Can I?” he asks, and you’re not sure what he’s planning, but nod anyway. He wastes no time before pressing his tongue flat down on the sensitive bud, and you actually feel like your soul might leave your body. Fingers knuckle-deep inside you, he licks and sucks at your clit, and the warmth of his tongue against your folds is what makes you tumble over the edge, tightly gripping his hair and bucking your hips into his mouth.
“Oh my God… Oh my God, Hoon, please, don’t stop, please,” you beg, voice getting higher and whinier as you cum all over his tongue. He continues eating you out until it gets too much and you have to tell him to stop. He hikes his body up yours, pecking you sweetly on the lips when he reaches them.
“Your turn,” you announce and hook your legs over his hips to straddle him. You’re about to lean in for a kiss when you notice how lovingly he’s looking at you: his eyes are soft and a small smile is playing on his lips. It takes you aback, but you’d be lying if you said butterflies didn’t spread in your stomach. “W-why are you looking at me like that?”
His grin gets a bit wider. “Did I make you feel good?”
“Y-yeah…,” you admit, averting your gaze from him.
“I’m glad. You taste good, by the way. Sweet.” You want to kiss the devilish smirk off of his face.
You scoff at your friend, glaring a bit. “Whatever. Sit up,” you order, but it just makes him smirk more.
“Yes, ma’am.”
You look up at him to check for confirmation, and when he nods, you hook your fingers under his swimming trunks, taking them off of him along with his boxers underneath. His already fully-hard cock springs free and slaps against his stomach, and you curse yourself for your reaction that will surely just inflate his ego, as if it wasn’t already massive. Your mouth hangs open, eyes zeroing in on his length, flushed red from lack of attention and what you can only guess is precum leaking at the tip. It's straight from a porno.
“Like what you see?” Sunghoon teases, making you look up at him, and you can only stupidly nod. You take the position he was in earlier, laying your head on his thigh and caressing the other, letting it ride up to rub his inner thigh and the tiniest bit over his cock, making his smirk vanish as he takes a shaky breath in.
“Show me how you do it,” you say, echoing his words from earlier. He gulps, finally realizing that he was going to have to masturbate in front of your curious eyes just as you had. He spits on his open palm and spreads the precum over his length with his thumb, lubing himself up before gripping the base and starting to move his hand up and down. You watch as his head falls back against the pillow when his palm grazes over his tip and his movements pick up some speed.
You rub his palms over his thighs, itching to get closer to his cock and make him feel as good as he had done to you earlier. Tentatively, you reach out to grab his balls in your hands, massaging them softly, feeling satisfied when a loud moan leaves his throat. “Oh, f-fuck, that feels good, Y/N,” he breathes out, voice much higher than you’re used to. If he thought that felt good, then nothing could’ve prepared him for the feeling of your soft and warm tongue kitty-licking his balls, then taking turns sucking each one into your mouth and releasing them with a pop. “Where the fuck did you learn how to do that?” he asks, involuntarily bucking his hips into your face.
You can’t help but giggle, and Sunghoon thinks he might come from the sweet sound contrasted with your lewd actions alone. “I read a lot of fanfiction,” you explain, and he doesn’t question it. If Wattpad taught you how to suck dick, then so be it.
You wrap your hand around his and tell him to keep going so you can get an idea of what pace and movements he likes, and you graze your fingernails over his abs and chest with your other hand, chuckling at how sensitive he is when you lightly pinch his nipples. Sunghoon takes his hand off of himself, laying both of his hands palms up next to him on the bed, so you decide to literally take things into your own hands. Trying to recreate what he did before, you spit into your palm and wrap your fingers around his tip, bringing your hand down in a swirly motion to the base of his shaft. You do that a few times, asking, “Like that?” to get confirmation from Sunghoon.
“Just like that, baby,” he says, not even taking notice of the pet name; but you do, and your face immediately flushes, surprised at how much you like it.
“Baby?” you repeat, but he’s too lost in his pleasure and just hums in response. His reaction eggs you on, and you lick a long stripe from his base to his tip, swirling your tongue around it and humming at the bitter but not unpleasant taste of precum there. When another moan escapes his throat, you take his tip in your mouth, at first just shallowly thrusting your head, but then trying to take more and more of him. 
You’re so focused on what you’re doing that you don’t even realize how quickly he’s panting and how his grunts start to get whinier until he’s moaning out your name. “A-ah, Y/N, feels so good, ‘m gonna cum, fuck-”
He goes silent as he shoots his release down your throat, eyebrows deeply furrowed and mouth open wide in pleasure. There’s so much of it and you can’t swallow it all, so you pull your head back, catching your breath, and a hot string of cum hits your chin and your throat. Sunghoon takes a look at you and the sight of you with some of his cum makes his dick twitch before he plops back down on the bed. You giggle as you take tissues from the bedside table (cause of course he’s got tissues next to his bed) and wipe away his seed, then lie down next to him, brushing away the hair that’s sticking to his forehead with sweat and peppering his face with soft kisses.
He opens his eyes and smiles, turning his head to look at you before engulfing you in a bear hug, sweaty bodies sticking together but neither of you minding it. “That was so good, Y/N. What the fuck,” he sighs, pecking your forehead.
You hum, nuzzling your nose into his neck. “I know, right? Who knew you could use your mouth for other things than saying stupid shit,” you tease.
He pulls back and gives you a look that tries to be stern, but you know he’s joking. “Do I need to remind you again, young lady?”
You giggle and peck his lips, forcing him out of character as his dimples appear on his cheeks. “Later, definitely.”
And after that day, he makes sure to remind you time and time again of how good his mouth feels on you. You should’ve seen it coming with how amazing of a kisser he was; but truly, there was nothing like cumming on your friend’s tongue.
--
You’re relieved to find that not much has changed, after all; you and Sunghoon still play around in the pool, watch stupid movies and hang out with your friends like always. Sure, there are stray hands here and there, or looks that last a little too long and mean a little too much, but if anything, it just makes your friendship more playful and exciting. 
You’re both open with what you like and don’t like, so it doesn’t take either of you to figure out exactly how to make the other come undone embarrassingly quickly. (The shortest amount of time it took him was 2:38 seconds - yes, he timed it - and he hasn’t let you live it down since.) You like it when he presses his large hand down onto your lower tummy while he eats you out, or when he sits you between his legs and whispers all sorts of things as his fingers work their magic inside you and on your clit. He likes it when you get down on your knees in front of him and look up at him as you suck him dry, or when you sit in his lap and kiss his neck and play with his hair while he plays video games. And don’t even get him started on when you palmed him over his sweatpants while you watched a movie with Chaeyong, Jay and Jake, making sure that the movements under the blanket went unnoticed by them. He wanted to punish you after they left, he really did, but you took him in your mouth right there in the living room and gave him an orgasm that had his thighs shaking for five minutes afterwards. You were pretty proud of yourself for that one. 
You also find out that he hates it when you tease and edge him, which only makes you do it more; the only problem is that, if you do that, he’ll make you ride his thigh and won’t help you at all. His proud smirk and snide praises combined with the feeling of his thick thigh underneath your core were more than enough to get you to your end, though.
And truly, nothing has changed, especially not Sunghoon’s special talent in pushing boys away from you.
“What do you mean, Lee Heeseung is coming back?” he heatedly asks, slamming his glass of lemonade down on the outdoor table so hard you’re scared it might break.
“It’s the summer, of course he’s coming back. He just stayed behind for a bit to enjoy a few weeks of the city without college, and now he’s coming back here,” Jake explains, shrugging.
“Do you know when he’ll be here?” you ask, far too much excitement in your voice to Sunghoon’s taste.
“Just in a couple days.”
Sunghoon has smoke coming out of his ears when he sees how much you perk up at the news of your old crush being back in town for summer. He likes the boy, but he hates that you like him. And since Heeseung is friends with Jay, Jake, and by association Sunghoon, begrudgingly so, he’ll definitely see lots of him in the upcoming months. And if Sunghoon sees Heeseung, then you’ll see Heeseung, too. And that, Sunghoon doesn’t like.
You notice something is off with him that afternoon because of how uncharacteristically quiet he is. Sunghoon, ever the loud introvert, is always arguing for no reason and laughing louder than everybody around him. So when he merely chuckles at his friends’ numerous displays of stupidity in the pool and doesn’t even say anything in protest to you getting on Jake’s shoulders to play against Chaeyoung and Jay, you know something is definitely up. You also have a good idea of what that something might be, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t find it endearing.
You stay behind when your friends leave in the early evening. Without a word, you and Sunghoon pack away the inflatable toys in the pool cabin and clean up the table, putting the dirty glasses in the sink. You do the dishes while he prepares sandwiches for the two of you, which he insisted on doing after he heard your stomach grumbling. You watch the latest Kurtis Conner video as you eat and can’t help but notice that he doesn’t even chuckle at any of the jokes or skits when he’d usually be clutching his stomach in laughter. 
When you’re done eating, you take a resolute breath and pause the video, but Sunghoon doesn’t even notice, only snapping out of his daze when you call out his name.
“Huh?” When his eyes find you, he almost looks surprised to see you, as if he’d forgotten you were there.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” you ask, slightly frowning. “You look so out of it today.”
“Huh? I’m fine, nothing’s wrong,” he says dismissively and presses play, but you quickly pause the video again.
“I’m your best friend, Sunghoon, I know when something’s the matter and I know when you’re lying. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but don’t pretend everything’s fine when we both know that’s not true.”
He peers at you for a moment, cursing you for knowing him so well. He crosses his arm and averts his gaze, pouting like an angry child. “I hate it when you’re right.”
You giggle and make your way around the counter to him, standing inbetween his legs and wrapping your arms around his neck to make him look up at you. His hands come naturally up to your waist. “I just…” he starts, then immediately stops himself with a sigh., “You’ve always had a crush on Heeseung. But these are our last couple months together, and I don’t want somebody else taking up your attention…”
He buries his face between your breasts to hide his blush, and you can’t help but giggle again. “Stop laughing at me!” he protests, but the muffled sound of his voice just makes you laugh more. You stroke his hair and press a gentle kiss at the top of his head.
“Sure, I’m happy Heeseung’s coming back. But there’s no one I’d rather spend my summer with than you, Sunghoon, you should know that.” He leans back to look up at you with puppy eyes and a small pout. You cup his face, admiring how cute he looks like this, and smile softly down at him.
“Really?”
“Really,” you answer, and he leans in for a kiss.
It’s a soft one. It’s a patient kiss, neither of you urging to get somewhere else, to do something more. It reminds you of that kiss in his room a few weeks ago, when you were still curious and discovering each other. From then on, your kisses had become more feverish, more eager, more playful. But now, you’re taking your time. For now at least, neither of you is going anywhere. So your lips melt together slowly, and when you take breaks to breathe, you look each other in the eyes and smile before leaning back in.
It’s when you sigh against his lips, eyes still closed as you pull away, that it hits him. I could do this forever, he thinks.
I could sit here with my arms around her waist and her lips against mine and the smell of chlorine and the sound of her laugh forever and I’d never get tired of it, he thinks, but immediately afterwards, he realizes he won’t get to do this forever. Summer will end, you’ll both head off to college, and you’ll only get to see each other every few months until another summer comes. And who knows what might happen until then?
You might meet someone and realize Sunghoon isn’t all that; hell, he might meet someone, but he highly doubts anyone could even come close to the way you make him feel.
“Hello? Earth to Sunghoon?” you quietly joke, looking down at him with an affectionate look in your eyes. You press the pads of your fingers to his two moles before replacing your fingers with your lips, giving each one a quick peck. “You were up on the moon for a minute there.”
Sunghoon hums softly, smiling as he lets himself melt under your touch. “Sorry. It’s just really hot, isn’t it?” he says, a stupid excuse he uses as a blanket to cover his feelings. There is some sweat beading at his hairline, which helps make his lie more believable, but you don’t need to know it’s not just because of the summer heat.
Slowly, your smile turns mischievous, and Sunghoon can tell you have an idea in mind. “It is pretty hot… Wait here.”
He watches as you fill a tall glass with ice from the dispenser in the fridge and pop an ice cube in your mouth, a devilish smile on your face, and laughs when that smile is replaced with a frown as the coldness hits you and you spit it back into the glass, laughing along with him. “What the hell are you doing?” he asks between giggles.
“I got the idea a few days ago when we were having popsicles…,” you say looking down at the glass between your hands, slightly embarrassed. “You kissed me and your mouth was really cold but it felt nice.” Sunghoon hums, egging you to go on. You lift the glass up to his cheeks, applying just a bit of pressure to the soft skin. “I thought this could be refreshing.” 
You take the ice cube back in your mouth, sucking on it but not letting it melt completely before pressing your lips against Sunghoon’s and opening your mouth just a bit so he could feel the cold of the ice cube. You feel his smile into the kiss as the ice cube swirls between your tongues, sending shivers down your spine. 
“Very refreshing indeed,” he murmurs when the ice has completely melted. He gets up and takes the glass in one of his hands, leaning down to your level and says “C’mon” with the same mischievous smile as you on his face.
You two hurry up the stairs, and when you get to his room, he hands you the glass before throwing himself on his back, laying on his back with his hands behind his head. “Show me what you had in mind.”
You straddle his hips and take an ice cube from the glass, rubbing it over his lips before pushing it inside his mouth, the cold making him hiss. You quickly counteract that by pressing your lips to his, the contrast of your warm tongue and the freezing ice turning him on more than he would’ve thought.
When the ice has melted, you take another piece and brush it along his jaw, down his Adam’s apple and around his nipples. The cold temperature makes him squirm but he doesn’t shy away from it, even closing his eyes to focus solely on the feeling. While you play with the ice cube, you also leave warm kisses all over his skin, reveling in its slightly salty taste from the thin layer of sweat. You let the ice cube melt between his abs and watch him wriggle as he sucks in a sharp breath, then grab another one, starting off where the previous one stopped. You circle his navel while your fingers play with the hem of his swimming trunks. He pulls them down himself and you chuckle at his eagerness. “I should’ve known you liked the cold, with all those years of ice skating you did,” you tease.  
He’s almost fully hard, and it only takes a few kisses and trailing the ice cube down his inner thighs to have his dick fully erect. He’d only been letting out small sighs and hisses until now, but when you grab another ice cube and circle it around his sensitive tip, he throws his head back into the pillows and moans loudly. You push your luck and drag the ice cube down his shaft, his thighs snapping together when it reaches his balls. You put it in your mouth and let it melt so that your tongue is still cold when you swirl it around his tip, already tasting precum there. But before you can take him further in your mouth, he calls out your name.
“Wait. I don’t wanna cum just yet. My turn.”
He shakes his shoulders in excitement as you switch positions, you taking your t-shirt and bikini top off and laying on your back and him sitting down with one knee on each side of your thighs, an ice cube in his hand and a giddy smile on his face.
He brushes it over your lips before pushing it just a bit into your mouth, holding onto it with two fingers while you suck on it, gazes locked in each other. Just as you did earlier, he trails it down your throat and your chest until they reach your nipples, marveling at the thin wet trail it leaves in its wake. He licks this trail as he circles one of your nipples with the ice cube, and you don’t know if you should focus on his warm tongue or on the cold ice cube. Once it’s melted, he takes another one and circles your other nipple with it, his mouth coming to wrap around the now cold one. Your hands fly up to grab at his hair, your back arching into his touch as you moan and pant loudly.
He sucks and licks at your nipples until you’re calling out his name, begging for more. As nice as his mouth or an ice cube around your nipples feel, your pussy is throbbing and desperate for attention. “Sunghoon… Please,” you whine.
“Please what?” he teases, looking up from your breasts with a smirk.
You whine again, knowing he knows full well what you want. “Please…”
He trails the ice cube down your stomach, circling your navel a few times where it melts before slipping two cold fingers underneath your bikini bottoms. “Is this what you want, baby?,” he asks as he rubs his fingers between his folds, and you whine at the feeling of having him so close to your hole and to your clit but not quite there either. He smirks when you nod frantically but whine at the loss of his fingers against you as he takes your bottoms off and reaches for another ice cube.
You release a loud moan and arch your back off the bed when the ice cube touches your clit. “Fuck, Hoon!”
He rubs the ice cube up and down your folds, your heat melting it much faster than your skin. He takes another one and brings it to your entrance this time, circling around it before pushing the ice cube in and staring with wonder as it melts quickly. He holds your hips down so you stop bucking them up, whimpering at the amazing feeling of the ice against you. He replaces the ice cube with his fingers inside of you and his tongue on your clit, sucking expertly at the sensitive bud and lapping at your juices. And while it feels good - God, does it feel good - and you let Sunghoon know just how nice it feels with your moans, whispers of his names and the way you hold onto his hair, you’re craving something more.
It’s something you’ve been wanting for the past few days, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. No matter how nice Sunghoon’s fingers and mouth felt, they didn’t make you feel close to him enough. You wanted to be so close to him you didn’t know where you ended and where he started; you wanted to feel him. 
You pull him up by the face, asking him to come here and getting lost in his lips as soon as they reach your level. God, Sunghoon’s kisses. You could drown in them. But still, that craving, that need for more. And now that his body is pressed up against yours and you can feel his erection against your thigh, so close to your core, you think you know what it is that you want. “Hmm, please…”
“You keep asking me for something, but you don’t tell me what it is.”
“You. I want you, Hoon, please,” you beg, murmuring against his lips as you wrap your legs around his hips and bring him even closer, his cock now pressing against your cunt.
“M-me?,” he asks, leaning back just a bit, but you pull him back in right away, resting his forehead against yours.
“Yes, please. I need to feel you inside me.”
Your words are enough to get a moan out of Sunghoon. “Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” he pants, planting kisses all over your face and neck. Usually, you’d giggle at the ticklish sensation, but right now, you’re so drunk on pleasure, it just makes your breath even shallower and your core wetter.
“How long?”
“God. Since the second time we kissed probably,” he replies, reaching for a condom in the drawer of his bedside table. You think back to that moment six weeks ago (how has it been six weeks already?, you think), after you and Sunghoon had made up and made out on his couch in front of a horror movie. He’d wanted you for that long? And he’d waited for you to say something since then?
“Today’s your lucky day, then,” you tease in an attempt to alleviate the need for him that takes over your bones, but his gaze when he looks back at you ruins any effort. If anything, it just makes you need him even more. You feel like you might explode if you don’t have him right now.
You watch as he clumsily wraps the condom around his member, clearly never having done this before, but you wouldn’t be of any help, so you let him figure it out on his own. You let your head fall back as he rubs his tip up and down your folds, gathering your slick on his dick before aligning himself at your entrance and giving you a long, deep kiss.
“Are you sure about this?” he asks, forehead on yours.
“Yeah. Are you?”
“Yeah, I am. But I’m also scared.”
“Scared of what, Hoon?” you ask, opening your eyes to look at him. You caress his cheek and cup his face in your hands, watching softly as he lets his head rest on your palm.
“I’m scared of hurting you. I heard it hurts the first time. And I’m scared…” he closes his eyes and frowns a bit. “I’m scared it’ll feel too good. That I’ll always want it. You.”
You take a small moment to think, your thumb brushing over his cheek in what you hope is a comforting manner. “You won’t hurt me, Hoon. It only hurts if you’re not ready… And I’m plenty ready. I know you’ll take it slow.” You smile softly when he nods, turning his head to kiss your palm. But if sex is as good as you’ve heard it is, you’re also scared that it might be the best thing you’ve ever experienced and that you’ll never get enough. You and Sunghoon have been meeting up almost everyday this summer and it has more often than not ended up with one of you between the other’s legs; you could never get bored of the things he made you feel or of knowing you were making him feel those exact same things. If you couldn’t live without his fingers, how could you live without his dick?
How could you live without him?
You tried to snap out of those thoughts, reassuring yourself that even before all of this you couldn’t imagine yourself living without Sunghoon, and that there was no reason this should change anything. “And don’t be scared of that, silly,” you say, making him smile. “I’ll always be here, Sunghoon. I’ll always want you, too.” 
“Fuck, okay,” he whispers, kissing your lips once before pulling himself up on his palms, hovering over you. “Tell me if you need me to stop, yeah?” he asks and waits for you to nod before finally pushing in.
You instantly moan when you feel his tip inside you, and Sunghoon stops, frantically asking if you’re okay. It takes some convincing to get him to push himself further in. “It feels so good, Hoon. Please keep going.”
You tell him to not stop until he’s fully inside you, and he obeys, even though he wants to stop when he sees your frown and your sharp intakes of breath. When he’s buried to a hilt, he can’t help but collapse on top of you, burying his face in your neck and wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. “Y/N,” he drawls out. “Feels so fucking good. So tight,” he murmurs against your neck.
“Mmh. Give me a minute, baby.” Your hands caress up and down the expanse of his back and you feel him relax on top of you. As you adjust around his length, the stretch starts to feel more and more pleasurable, until pleasure is the only thing you feel. “Hoon?”
“Yeah?” he says, kissing and nibbling softly at your neck and earlobe.
“You can move, now.”
Sunghoon doesn’t need to be told twice and ever-so-slowly slides out of you, leaving only the tip in before he slides back in. His thrusts are slow but deep, and it’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more. He’s barely started but you’re both already whimpering messes, holding onto each other tightly as pleasure like neither of you has felt before takes over your entire bodies.
As you both get more comfortable, his pace picks up just a tiny bit and you tentatively raise your legs higher so that they’re hooked around the back of his knees instead of laying on the bed. The new angle only adds to the intense pleasure, but you don’t even realize you’re crying until Sunghoon stops mid-thrust, wiping your tears with his thumb and worryingly asking if you’re okay and if it hurts and if he should stop. You open your eyes and smile, instantly calming his nerves. You bring his head closer to yours and kiss him like you’d stop breathing if you didn’t. “It feels so fucking good, Hoon. So, so good.”
He sighs out of relief and resumes his actions, heart swelling with pride that he’s making you feel so good, you’re crying. He’s always hated seeing you cry or hurt in general; but knowing what kind of tears these are, he thinks you look so pretty with tears streaming down your face. His hands grip your thighs a bit tighter as he quickens his pace, already addicted to the feeling of your warm walls taking him in so well.
He slips out a few times but you’re always quick to guide him back inside you. He lifts his body up a bit to get a deeper angle, hoping it’ll get him to stop slipping out, and he’s blown away by the sight underneath him. He thinks you’ve never looked so gorgeous as you do now, legs spread wide for him, cheeks flushed, brows furrowed and mouth agape for him. He kisses your tears, the salty taste bringing a smile to his lips. “So perfect,” he whispers against your mouth. “You look so beautiful.”
Sunghoon takes your legs and wraps them higher around his hips, the new angle hitting a spot inside you that’s making you see stars and has you moaning his name like it’s the only thing you know how to say. You feel that familiar tension build up inside your stomach much faster and much stronger than it usually does.
“Fuck, Sunghoon, I’m gonna cum,” you warn, and a harsher thrust inside you is what pushes you over the edge, the sensation crashing into you and making your thighs shake. An orgasm has never hit you this hard before.
You’re clenching around him like crazy and Sunghoon gasps as you milk him dry, his own orgasm hitting him all at once. He shoots his release inside the condom and stills inside you, breath completely taken away by the sudden, overwhelming sensation.
He lays on top of you for a moment as you both catch your breaths, trying to make sense of how something can feel this good without killing you instantly. He apologizes when his pulling out makes you wince and kisses the top of your head. He rolls onto his back, pulling you with him so that you’re now almost lying on top of him, head against his chest as his arms wrap themselves around you. You leave kisses all over his chest and neck and his hands caress your back.
“That was amazing.”
“I know, right?” he responds immediately, his enthusiasm making you laugh.
“Thanks, Hoon,” you say timidly, voice muffled against his skin.
“For what?”
“For making me feel this good.”
He chuckles. “No need to thank me, pretty. If anything, I should thank you for letting me make you feel good, and on top of that making me feel good.”
You hum at his words and you both stay there for a bit longer, enjoying each other’s warmth. Something blooms inside your chest, and you don’t know whether to let it grow or to squash it down. It feels nice, almost too nice, and you’re scared it might get ripped away from you and it won’t feel so nice then.
Friendship, sex, love. In those weeks spent with Sunghoon, those previously clear lines have blurred to a point they were all one big messy ball of feelings and not three distinct things you could tell apart. Has sex turned your friendship with Sunghoon into something romantic? Or is that just an illusion, and being so intimate with your best friend has messed up your once platonic vision of him? But was your vision of him ever platonic?
Haven't the two of you always been teased about liking each other for a reason? After all, you and Sunghoon didn't grow up together, and he’s never felt like a brother to you. He has always been your male friend; you’ve always been aware that he was your friend who was also a boy. When you'd moved in the house next to his, you hadn’t instantly clicked; it took a while for the ice skating prodigy to warm up to you, but his parents had warmly welcomed yours into the neighborhood and quickly became friends, so it was only a matter of time before he’d open up to the idea of you being around. Constantly.
You’d walk to and from school together, do homework together, go on family trips together, cheer each other on at your respective competitions. After his ice skating lessons, when his coach let him have the whole place to himself for a bit more practice, he’d tie your ice skates for you and drag you onto the ice rink, holding you by the waist or shoulders as he skated backwards in front of you, but also laughing at you when you inevitably fell. He’d tease you for getting second place at the science fair or for getting your arguments torn apart during Model United Nations, but the way he’d be a little nicer to you or share his food more often that week wouldn’t escape you.
Being a handsome young ice skater, Sunghoon had developed quite the loyal following of boys and girls alike who would come to see him at his competitions. He thrived off of the attention, but no matter how much he enjoyed his fans’ admiration, you were always the one he’d skate to after having won first place, hugging you tightly over the barrier separating the ice from the bleachers. Especially during your younger teen years, Sunghoon wasn’t one for skinship or PDA, so it always meant that much more to you that even after his most important wins, you were the first thing on his mind. It never failed to make your stomach flip, and all the death stares from his fans in the world couldn’t have changed a thing.
You were already close, but you became practically inseparable after Sunghoon’s injury. During the competition that would have gotten him a place at the Youth Winter Olympics had he won, his nerves got the best of him and he didn’t land his triple axel, hurting his ankle in the process. Ten years of dedication and hard work, ruined in mere seconds. To say that it destroyed him would be an understatement.
You were the one to bring him back up. You listened to him when he needed to vent, held him when he needed a shoulder to cry on, cheered him up when he needed to smile. He didn’t even need to tell you what he needed, you seemed to just know. You reminded him that he had a lot more value than his medals and trophies and that he didn’t need them to be complete. His family and friends tried their best to make him feel better, but their words never reached him quite like yours did.
Slowly but surely, his confidence came back. He’d lost his fans, but he’d gained a friend he knew would always be there for him. His dimples would appear more often, his laugh would resonate louder. His injury had made the two of you grow closer, creating a bond that would only strengthen over time.
And yet there were moments when being friends wasn’t enough. When calling him your best friend didn’t feel right. You had other friends, friends you were close to; sure, maybe not as close as to Sunghoon, but close nonetheless. And you didn’t feel that way around them.
Their laugh didn’t make your heart skip a beat. You didn’t want to bury your face in their necks and breathe in their scent when they hugged you. You didn’t want to know every single detail of their day. And you surely didn’t feel a pang of jealousy in your chest when they danced with another girl at your school ball.
You also didn’t crave their lips on yours every single day since it had happened for the first time and didn’t want to see what they sounded or looked like while getting the life sucked out of them through their dick.
Everybody told you it was obvious you were ‘more than friends.’ Why did romantic love have to be ‘more’ than platonic love? Why were there levels to it? You didn’t like the idea of taking your relationship with Sunghoon ‘one step further’; that wasn’t the way it felt to you. Rather, it felt like having to change everything you knew and create something new. Something where you could see him laugh and tell him about your day, but where you could also kiss him and graze his skin with your fingertips. Something that only you could share with him and only he could share with you. But you were afraid the friendship would fall apart if things didn't work out. So, instead of taking the risk of changing everything, you made sure things would stay the same. You’d tell the butterflies raging in your stomach to settle down and you wouldn’t let yourself fall into his touch in case it’d be like falling from the highest mountain.
That is, until he kissed you. Until this moment, right now, lying in his arms, ear right over his heart so you can hear it beat for you. You look up at him. His eyes are closed and a soft smile rests on his lips. He looks so peaceful. He always looks pleased when you’ve just been together, but right now, he seems to be in such a serene state, it almost makes you laugh.
Now that you’ve given in to your feelings, you’ve realized just how strong they were this whole time. Nothing has ever felt better than being in Sunghoon’s arms, than being able to see him at his most vulnerable state and to give all of you to him. All those things you didn’t know about him just six weeks ago, you know them by heart now. You’re sure there’s other things to find out, and you’ll make sure you will.
But summer won’t last forever.
A wave of sadness slaps you right in the face, bringing you back to reality. There’ll come a time where you and Sunghoon won’t be able to lounge around all day or lazily make-out at your will. You’ll go your own ways and not see each other for months at a time. The thought of that is unbearable, and you feel like looking at Sunghoon for a second longer might rip your heart into a million pieces.
When you sit up, tearing yourself away from his grip, he immediately opens his eyes, asking what’s wrong.
“Just need to go to the bathroom. I heard you can get STIs from not peeing after sex,” you half-lie. He nods and falls back into the bed. 
You rush to the toilet, needing to get far away from Sunghoon as quickly as possible. Even your pee smells different - guess that’s what having a dick inside you will do to you. You wash your hands and look in the mirror: your skin is darker in some spots, surely Sunghoon’s work. So not only did he mess with your thoughts, he also had to make your body all weird, too?
You splash your face with cold water, hoping it will bring you back to your senses. You and Sunghoon have been best friends for years. There’s no point in changing all of that now, is there? You’ll be leaving soon enough, anyway. Why ruin a perfectly fine friendship for a summer fling?
Those are your thoughts as you head back to Sunghoon’s bedroom, ready to tell him that this whole thing was a mistake and you should just pretend it never happened. But your resolve crumbles at your feet as soon as you step inside the room.
Sunghoon’s got a couple of snacks ready as he browses through Netflix in search of an appropriate movie. “How about Twilight?” he says when he feels the bed dip under your weight next to him. He kisses your forehead and pulls you down on the bed with him so that you’re lying back against his chest.
Screw it, you think. Whatever this is, it’s much more than a summer fling.
--
The rest of the summer goes by in a flash. No, you don’t try to make Sunghoon jealous by flirting with Heeseung; if the mention of the latter’s name was enough to get your friend mad, then purposefully twirling your hair or batting your eyelashes at the older boy just might make Sunghoon white-boy-punch a hole into a wall. And it’s not like Heeseung would try coming onto you, either, with how clingy Sunghoon gets when he’s around, always an arm around your waist and a glare that could kill Heeseung.
Sunghoon gradually opens up to Heeseung being around, even though it takes you reminding him almost daily that he’s the one whose arms you wanna end up in over anybody’s. After a couple weeks, Sunghoon stops looking like he's on the brink of starting a fight every time Heeseung so much as talks to you or hands you a glass of lemonade, and finally relaxes around him.
You spend countless sleepless nights with Sunghoon. You’ve probably memorized every single one of his moles by now, and you’ve made sure to kiss all of them. He holds you against him like he might lose you at any given moment. The only nights you don’t fall asleep in each other’s embrace are when either one of you is sleeping over at your friend’s house. On those nights, sleep always takes hours before washing over you, the lack of warmth keeping you awake.
Your friends and you spend entire days at the lake or by Sunghoon’s pool, not a care in the world. You rest your head on Sunghoon’s shoulder as you watch the fireworks Jake and Jay bought go off. Sunghoon grills your marshmallows for you, blowing on them so they cool down before handing you the stick. You try to ignore how the night air gets slightly chillier and how the sun sets slightly earlier, but by the last days of August, it becomes too noticeable. When September rolls around, you’re sure there’s a small crack in your heart.
You know Sunghoon feels the end of summer too. His kisses are deeper and his lips linger over yours a second longer. He frowns when he kisses you and hugs you, like he’s trying to remember what it feels like. His usual playful demeanor when you’re in bed together is gone, instead seemingly hellbent on making you feel good and almost begging you to say his name. As if you could say any other name. As if you could say anything else.
Neither of you mention your departure until the night before you leave. After spending the evening with your friends, you lie together in bed, the side of your face resting against his chest so you can feel his heart against your ear. He’s tracing patterns with his fingertips on your back, and it takes you a while to figure out he’s spelling his name over and over again, as if to etch it in your skin. When, once in a while, he takes his hand off of you to reach for his phone, you can still feel his fingers caressing you, ghostlike against your skin.
The air around you feels heavy, pressing the both of you down into the mattress. You wish the bed would eat you alive so you could stay there, warm against each other, as long as you like. You know you can’t leave without talking first, but the words won’t come to you. Instead, they float around the bed, weighing your heart down into your stomach.
“So,” you start. You're unsure what to say, but you know this conversation has to happen, one way or another. In the end, you settle on, “Excited to leave?”
Sunghoon scoffs lightly, his motions on your back coming to a stop. “Not really, no. It’s not like I’m leaving that far, and half of our school is going to our uni.”
“Maybe, but there’ll be tons of other people. Tons of other girls, too,” you add after a short pause.
“Don’t do this, Y/N, please.”
You sit up at his words. He covers his eyes with his forearm and takes a deep breath in, sensing an incoming argument. “Do what?”
“This. Getting mad at me when I haven’t done anything.”
“I’m not mad at you,” you protest, frowning down at him.
“No? Then what’s this?” he says, smoothing down the lines between your eyebrows and on your forehead with the pad of a finger.
“Whatever.” You nudge your head away from his touch. It burns. “It’s not like I’m wrong, anyway. You’re gonna have a bunch of girls at your feet, and you’ll know what to do with them, right? Now that you’re not a virgin?” you question, avoiding his gaze.
“Y/N…” he sighs, shutting his eyes tighter as if in pain.
“What? This was the whole reason why, right? Get experience with me so you could fuck girls better, no?”
“Y/N!” he says, raising his voice enough to let you know he’s upset but not enough to scare you. He sits up, looking at you with hurt and disbelief in his eyes. “What’s this all of a sudden? It’s not like I forced you into this! We agreed on it together!”
“So you agree? That this summer was just about getting experience and now you’ll use it on other girls and pretend like we,” you gesture between the two of you, “never happened?”
“What do you mean ‘agree’? I never said any of this! Don’t put words into my mouth!”
He watches as you get up from the bed, arms crossed and pacing his room. He calls out to you a few times, but you don’t stop to look at him until he speaks your name with a sternness you’ve never heard before from him. “What?” you snap.
“I don’t get why you’re acting like this out of nowhere! We both knew summer was gonna end at some point, and why we were doing this! Why are you blaming me now?”
“Because… because…” you sigh, scrambling for an excuse. Why were you doing this? The thought of Sunghoon doing what he did to you to another girl, making her feel as good as he had made you feel, kissing her like he had kissed you, made you sick. It made you see red, it made you want to make him wear a shirt with your face on it so everybody knew he was yours.
Sunghoon gets up and stands close in front of you, too close. You close your eyes. If you see his moles, you might reach out to touch them and let yourself fall even more. If you fall, you’ll need to get up, but his scent makes your knees weak.
His hands find your face, holding a little too gently, you think. Your small ones wrap around his wrists and grip them, a little too harshly, he thinks. 
You take a step back and finally look into his eyes. There’s hope in them; hope you’ll say what he wants, what he needs to hear. That you want him like he wants you. That you wish summer wasn’t over. That you’ll keep him in your heart until you can see him again. So, when what you say next is none of the above, he feels his heart sink down to his feet, leaving a murky puddle there.
“I can’t do this.”
You rush out of the room, practically running home. You fight your tears back until you slam your bedroom behind you, pathetically sinking to the ground as you let out a loud sob. You don't have the energy to get up, and cry into your hoodie's sleeve right there on the floor.
When you’ve calmed down a bit, you get up and lay in your bed, hiding your whole body underneath the covers. Maybe this is for the best, you think. If you end it like this, you won’t have the knowledge of whether he’ll wait to have you back or he’ll move on like nothing happened. That way, you can do whatever you want, not caring about what he’s up to. 
But even now, your hands subconsciously reach out towards a person that’s not there and your feet hang over the edge of your bed as though to get up and run to him anytime. You curl in on yourself to stop your body from aching for him. It doesn’t work very well.
Sunghoon stays where you left him for a few minutes, too stunned to move. Should he run after you? Should he let you cool off for a bit and talk to you in the morning? Would you be mad at him if he didn’t try to see you now or would the mere sight of him just make you angrier? He plops down on his bed as these questions run through his mind, butting into each other and making everything more confusing. 
He thinks back on everything that led to this, and his mind settles on that day a few days after graduation where his thoughts had dropped to the lowest pits of hell. If only you hadn’t brought those two damned lollipops.
--
The next morning, Sunghoon wakes up as if somebody had slapped him awake. He doesn’t bother to brush his teeth or eat anything before running over to your house, almost forgetting to put shoes on. He finds you in your room, packing the last of your things into an already full suitcase. He stands at your door, panting as his hands rest on his knees.
“You haven’t left yet. Thank God.”
“God, Hoon. It’s not that far between your house and mine. How are you so out of breath,” you say, glancing at him from the corner of your eye.
He walks to you and kneels in front of you, taking you in his arms before you can say anything. “Talk to me, please. Don’t leave like this. I’d never forgive myself if you left and you were mad at me, Y/N.”
You thought you’d cried so much last night that there was not a single drop of water left in your body, but you thought wrong. Your eyes immediately well up at his words, and he leans back when he hears a soft sniffle escaping you. Only then does he notice how puffy your eyes from all your crying.
“No, no… Have you been crying? I’m so sorry, pretty, please don’t cry,” he pouts, pulling you back into his embrace. It hasn’t even been half a day, but you missed his warmth so much, it only makes you cry harder.
After sobbing against his chest, possibly staining his shirt in the process, you pull away and in your light-headed, dehydrated state, spill your heart out. “It’s so stupid,” you sob. “We’re not gonna see each other for months and I’m gonna miss you so much and I don’t want you to be with other girls. I want you all to myself and I don’t want to be your friend that you fucked for a summer just so you could get experience, it was a stupid idea in the first place, if you wanted to kiss me, you should’ve just kissed me. But you didn’t just kiss me and now I’m scared that this all meant nothing to you but everything to me and that I don’t want to be friends anymore but you do and I’m mad that it took me all summer to say this even though I’ve known it for years but I didn’t want to admit it to myself but also you didn’t say anything and I’m mad about that too. Because there’s no way you don’t feel like I do but maybe you actually don’t and-”
Whatever you were about to say dies out against Sunghoon’s lips as he presses his lips to yours, interrupting your rambling. He pulls away, looking at you with a huge, stupid grin. He’s so stupid, you think. I love him so much.
“Fucking hell, Y/N. I’ve been waiting for you to say this so bad, you have no idea.”
You punch his chest, frowning at him. Those stupid tears won’t stop. Everything is so stupid. “Then why didn’t you say it first?”
“Because I didn’t know how to. You know I’m bad with words. And I was scared it’d make things weird.”
“I don’t want things to be weird,” you pout.
“I don’t want things to be weird, either. I want things to be nice and happy.”
You giggle. “That’s so stupid.”
“Right? It’s so stupid,” he repeats, kissing you again.
“Your breath smells,” you complain when he pulls away.
“And you have tears on your lips. Tastes salty,” he teases.
“Yeah, thanks to who?”
“Sorry.” He smiles and kisses you again. He holds you against him for a while, enjoying this last moment together. As long as he can see a smile on your face before you leave, he’ll be fine.
“I’m gonna miss you so much too, Y/N. And forget about those non-existent girls. There’s no one I’d rather be with than you.”
“How do you know? You haven’t met any of them yet,” you say, voice muffled against his t-shirt.
“I’ve met other girls before. None of them compare to you,” he says, and you immediately gag at how cliché it sounds. “What?! It’s true,” he giggles.
“You’re not gonna go and date a random guy, are you?”
“Of course not. None of them compare to you,” you say, lowering your voice to imitate his.
He helps you finish packing, and when you’re done, you lay together on your bed, not saying much because not much needs to be said. Your parents struggle to tear you away from each other and from your bed when it’s time to leave. He helps your dad put your baggage in the trunk of his car, telling you to not lift a finger so you watch him go to and from the car, leaving a kiss on your forehead every time he walks past you. You notice with a smile that he doesn’t carry much at once, making him have to go back-and-forth quite often.
After saying goodbye to your family, your dad waits in the car as you and Sunghoon hang back awkwardly, kicking small pebbles on the pavement. He takes your hand in his, making you look up at him, then takes the other hand, then hugs you close to him.
“I’m gonna miss you,” you say, as if that wasn’t obvious. You’re trying hard to fight tears from falling again, but it’s like there’s an ocean behind your eyes, water somehow never running out. 
“I already miss you,” he says, and that’s enough to get you to sob again, which makes him start crying too. You’re crying, he’s crying, your mom is crying from the porch as she watches the two of you, it’s a mess.
You force yourself away from him, cupping his face in your hands. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? And college will be fun. You won’t even have time to miss me. But make time to think about me, yeah? And text me.”
“I will. I’ll think about you all the time, I already do,” he says.
“Okay,” you whisper and hug him one last time, very briefly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. You’re about to walk away but he doesn’t let go of your hand and pulls on your arm to bring you back to him.
Pressing his forehead against yours, he whispers, “I love you,” and you sob.
“I love you, too.”
This time, when you walk away, he lets you go. He watches as you get into the passenger’s seat and as the car drives away, as it takes you away from him. You watch him stand there in the rearview mirror, until his silhouette becomes smaller, and smaller, and smaller, until you can’t see him at all anymore.
--
Summer went and fall came as they do every year. Dead leaves are falling but it’s a new start for you. It’s a new town and you don’t know anybody, but you click instantly with your roommate and make new friends throughout your first week there. You realize everybody’s in the same boat, and they’re all eager to meet people and are curious about college life. You love your classes but complain about them nonetheless. You eat more ramen than you’d like to admit and turn up hungover at a 9 am class on a Thursday. You pull all-nighters at the library and develop a caffeine dependency. You’re a college student.
You and Sunghoon were very dramatic when you left, you soon realize. You call almost everyday. He’s not there with you and you miss him but at least you don’t have to pretend you’re not stupidly in love with him anymore. Because it’s stupid, being in love, it really is. You wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Your first semester passes by almost too quickly, and before you know it, you’re on the drive home, already one eighth of the way through university. You’re excited to go home, but Sunghoon’s finals last a week longer so you wait around for him. When you complain about it, Chaeyoung tells you to get a grip. “You haven’t seen him in three months, I’m sure you can handle another week.”
And you can, but barely. You were about to explode but then he’s back and you’re in his arms and his hair is still so soft, his scent is still so comforting and his moles are still there. You kiss them both before you finally press your lips to his, and it makes you feel so alive, you could die right then and there.
You lie on his bed and talk for hours as if you didn’t keep in touch the whole time and it’s like you never left. It’s like summer never ended and you’ve just been lying in his bed the whole time, college just one big fever dream. 
But his skin doesn’t smell like chlorine anymore, and he’s not in his swimming trunks. It’s fall, almost winter, and you’re kissing Park Sunghoon. You realize you can kiss him whatever the season and you find comfort in that. It was a big day (you cried a lot when you saw him) and you’re tired so you think you’ll kiss for a bit and that’ll be all but then he whispers “I missed you so much” against your neck and a fire lights inside your stomach. Oh, how it burns. You think it might consume you whole, but you don’t dislike that idea.
In a flash, you’re on top of him, his shirt is off, your shirt is off, but it’s not enough so you take your pants off too and Sunghoon is confused as to why you’re going so fast, but follows you anyway. “What’s going on?” he asks when you’re done with the taking off of your clothes and have moved on to kissing and biting at his neck like it’s your first meal in ages, because it is.
“I missed you too,” you simply answer, and he smirks as he nods slowly, now understanding your eagerness.
“Missed me that much, huh?” he teases, letting his head fall back against the pillow so you have better access to his neck.
“Shut up. Kiss me,” you order, and he doesn’t need to be told twice. Your kisses are ravenous and desperate, very fitting for two horny people in love who haven’t seen each other in months. But the pulse in your core makes you too impatient to stay anywhere for too long, and really, it’s not your fault if you’re grinding down onto Sunghoon’s clothed erection, it’s just that he smells too good and you missed him too much.
Sunghoon laughs at you for being so impatient to hide just how impatient he is. His giggles keep him from moaning loudly enough to wake the whole house, and you laugh as you tell him to stop laughing.
“I’m serious. I missed you so much. Need you so bad,” you say as you get rid of your underwear and quickly do the same for his. He gasps when he feels you take his dick in your hand and brush its tip between your folds, both out of pleasure and out of surprise.
“Shouldn’t I get you ready? Stretch you out a bit?” he asks, his hands roaming up and down your back as he sits up on the bed so that you’re straddling his lap, and you shake your head no. You’re probably already embarrassingly wet from your short makeout session, anyway.
“I don’t care if it hurts,” you say, lining his tip with your entrance. “Need to feel you.”
You sink down on his cock, the both of you releasing loud moans at the long-awaited feeling. He lets you adjust to his size for a minute, but as soon as you move your hips just a bit, signaling to him that you’re ready for more, it’s over for you. He wanted to be patient and take his time, he really did, but you feel so warm around him and your small whimpers are so pretty that his resolve of letting you take the lead is thrown out the window. He pounds into you at a rapid pace that has you biting his shoulder to keep yourself from screaming.
You had imagined your first time back with Sunghoon so many times before. It usually involved a nice playlist in the background, fairy lights and candles lighting the room, hours of foreplay and sensual lovemaking, with a nice bath afterwards. Sometimes, when you were particularly needy for him, you imagined something closer to what was actually happening, where you’d rip each other’s clothes as soon as you got to the bedroom and fucked like animals (a bit much, admittedly, but you really missed him).
What you definitely hadn’t expected, however, was that you’d both cum in less than five minutes. What could you do, though, when he was hitting your g-spot over and over again, his length stretching you perfectly as he whispered in your ear how much he’d missed you and how good you felt? And what could he do when you took him in so well, clinging onto him as you told him how much you’d missed him and how good he felt?
You finish at the same time, hole clenching around him and milking him dry. He doesn’t pull out for a while, letting you collapse onto him as you both catch your breaths, just like you had that first time. “That was a bit quick,” he pants, and you can’t help but laugh. 
You pull back to look at his face. It’s so pretty and stupid. What a stupid face that you love so much. Do you love it because it’s stupid or is it stupid because you love it? You think that that’s a stupid question, and you kiss the mole on his nose, then the mole on his cheek, right next to his nose.
“We have all night to go slower.”
“We have all Christmas break,” he corrects.
We have the rest of our lives, you think, and you think that might be a bit much, but you say it anyway. Sunghoon hums and says, “yes, we do,” and you think maybe it’s not all that stupid.
Maybe it’s the greatest thing that’s ever been.
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gojosprettyprincess · 1 year ago
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A/n wrote this at 5am so I apologize for any errors! <3 also it's poorly written but I hope you guys still like it.
Yk what fucking drives me crazy the most?
Sweet innocent looking men that treats you so well, I'm talking like he writes you cute poems, follows you around everywhere like a lost puppy and gets all flustered and shy when you want to go to Victoria secret to get new bras and panties but he still goes in with you anyways with his hand clinging onto your arm instead of just leaving because anything for you!!. The way his face melts into your hand whenever you'd cup his cheeks, looking at you with those innocent puppy dog eyes then he places a gentle kiss on your hand. Like he's just such a cutie you know? He'd let you do his makeup and let you baby him and feed him. Literally just anything you want he'd do it and lets you do. Whatever makes you happy.
And that same sweet innocent guy would have you against the wall, his strong arms holding you up, fingers digging into the soft flesh of your thighs as he slams his hips against you, each thrust pushing you higher and higher against the wall as he let you drop back down on his fat cock after, and he's even noisier than you are, loud whimpers and groans escaping his lips as he stares at your face, feeling satisfied and happy that his thick cock is the reason for your cute fucked out expression and sweet moans that are like music to his ears. Your nails leaving long red marks on his shoulders and back that he's sooo proud of having, he loves it when you do that, it's like a reward to him for making you feel good. His big strong arms pressing your legs back even further up so your knees raised up by your shoulders, giving him a deeper angle as his cock brushed against the right spots inside you that made you see stars to the point where you can't even think straight.
"O-oh fuck! baby, need you to cum ple-ase, fuck! please, wanna see you make a mess on my cock please I'm begging you princess", his voice cracks as he whimpers it out to you. The sweet and innocent needy tone in his voice compared to his rough pounding like he fucking hates you and had to prove it was all it took for you to cream around him, nails digging deeply into his back as he's practically making out with your neck, kissing and sucking on the tender flesh, leaving a bunch of purple and red marks that's definitely going to make him all fluttered and shy when he sees them in a few hours, remembering about what happened earlier. His eyes rolling back when he feels you coating his cock with your cream and dripping all over him.
"Ngh! Oh fuck, Tha-nk you! Thank you so much, gon-na cum!". He cries out. Your toes curling as he sped up his pace, hammering his cock in a reckless pace into your poor cunt, his thick cock head kissing your cervix with each one of his deep thrusts as he greedily chases his orgasm. He made sure to have his cock so deep inside of you to the hilt so he can fill you up full of his cum as he painted your tight walls white, thick ropes of cum spurting out of his cock, stuffing your hungry cunt full as he lets out a shaky groan while planting his face in your neck. He starts breathing heavily, panting against your neck as you felt his cock twitching inside of you. And you know what? He slowly pulls it out of you, being sooo careful that he doesn't spill any cum as he grips on your thighs even tighter before getting on his knees and eating all of his cum out of your filthy stuffed cunt like the good boy he is, after all its his mess and well, yours also but he doesn't mind! he just wants to make it easier for you to clean you know? :(
Choso, Izuku, Armin,Yuuta, Zentisu, Kirishima, Yuuji, Kaneki, Toge.
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javierpena-inatacvest · 6 months ago
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Me, You, and Baby, Too
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Summary: You and Joel have always wanted kids, but didn't want to rush into having them until you both were ready. After a surprise at his job, Joel realizes there's nothing more he wants to do than put a baby in you as soon as he gets home.
Pairing: Husband!Joel Miller x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n)
Word Count: 4.1K
Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (it's baby making time, so hush), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, big ole fat and nasty breeding kink (.... don't look at me it's bad), creampie, cum play, talks of starting a family, calling Joel "Daddy" (in the sense you want to have his babies, but also 🤷🏼‍♀️), Sweet soft Joel who loves his wife and would give her the universe if he could, honestly with just the way Joel is talking about makin' babies, I think I'm pregnant
A/N: It's that time of the month where Madeline ovulates and writes feral breeding kink smut!!! 🤪 Okay I am so nervous to post this because I have never written for Joel before and I'm worried it's trash with a capital T, but after re-watching TLOU, I need 2003 Joel Miller carnally, so here we are. This is also inspired by @mrsmando post about 2003 Joel Miller constantly keeping you barefoot and pregnant because it made me unwell, and no lies were told. (thanks for ruining my life mimi) 🤠 ANYWHO I hope you guys like it, and if not, I'll shut up and go back to writing Javi and Frankie and pretend like this didn't happen
There were a lot of stereotypical answers that you expected from your husband when you asked him how his day at work had been:  
“Good.” 
“Fine.” 
“Long.” 
“My knees are killin’ me.” 
“Tommy did somethin’ fuckin’ stupid again.” 
“Better now that I’m home with you.” 
So when Joel arrived home today after a new job he had started with Tommy on a bathroom renovation, there were few things that could have prepared you for the response your husband had when you asked him how his day had gone. 
“Hey, honey. How was your day today?” You smiled, watching Joel stroll in through your front door, kicking off his work boots at the entryway, beginning to put away his things before strolling into the kitchen to greet you. 
“Pretty good." He paused, leaning in for a quick kiss before making his way over to the closet before speaking again. "Saw a real cute baby today.” 
You could practically feel your heart skip a beat as you looked up from the vegetables you had been cutting up for dinner, tightening the grip you had around your knife to make sure you didn’t drop it in shock. 
Out of all the things for Joel to bring up on the first day at a new job, a cute baby had been at the top of the list.
Not floor plans. 
Not timelines for the project.
Not something stupid that Tommy did. 
Not even what he had done today on the job. 
The top news that Joel Miller had to report back to you about his day was the sighting of a cute baby. 
You and Joel had always agreed that you’d wanted kids, and your husband had been not only adamant, but genuinely excited at the prospect of becoming a dad. But only being a little less than a year into your marriage, the two of you had decided you didn’t want to rush into anything, and when the time felt right, you’d both know it. 
But one by one, as your friends began to announce their pregnancies, baby showers, and pictures of their adorable newborns, you couldn’t help but deny the baby fever starting to burn hotter and hotter inside you with every passing day. 
You’d brought it up in passing a few times with Joel, talking about your friends who had kids, or a cute mom and her children you saw walking around in your neighborhood, and while he had always had a positive response to what you had to say, you just had a feeling that now just wasn’t the time for the two of you yet, and that was okay.  
But here you were, standing in your kitchen, jaw practically scraping the ground at the notion that your husband had dropped just about the least subtle hint ever that babies weren’t just at the forefront of your mind- they were on his, too. 
“Awh, really?” You asked, shaking your head to snap out of your shocked state, returning back to dice the onion you had been working on before Joel could turn around to see you after finishing hanging up his things in the closet, trying to subtly coax more information out of him. 
“Yeah.” He smiled, joining you in the kitchen, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer to his chest for a soft kiss to greet you, “The family we’re startin’ the bathroom reno for just moved in. Had their first baby a few months ago and just hadn’t had time to work on fixin’ things.” 
“So they’re already putting the baby to work with you and Tommy?” You teased, raising an eyebrow at Joel playfully, giving him a quick peck back on the lips as he laughed at your sass. 
“Cheap labor.” Joel shrugged back, playing into the joke, “Nah, she woke up from her nap while Tommy and I were runnin’ through some measurements so her mom brought her out for the last lil bit we were there. She was damn cute, too. Just smilin’ and laughin’ at everything.” 
You were glad Joel’s arm was still wrapped around your hip, because you were convinced if it wasn’t, you were about to melt to the floor into a puddle, watching how soft and sweet Joel was talking about a cute, smiling baby. 
“Well a cute baby definitely sounds like a very nice perk of being on the job.” You smirked, trying to play it cool enough to keep your heart from bursting out of your chest. 
“Yeah.” Joel replied softly, quietly pausing for a moment, watching the gears turning in his brain, carefully calculating his words before he spoke. 
“You okay?” You asked, looking up at Joel, knowing your husband well enough that he had something on his mind he was trying to work up the confidence to spit out. 
Joel looked back down at you, big brown eyes locking with yours as his grip around your waist tightened ever so slightly, tongue swiping against his plush bottom lip as he took a long, deep breath in and slow exhale out.  
“Honey, what is it?” You asked again, now slightly concerned with how nervous your husband looked in his stoic silence, reaching up to gently wrap your fingers around his arm, thumb stroking his skin. 
“I want one.” 
You froze, worried that your heart may have actually stopped as you looked at Joel, making sure that you had really just heard what he had said. 
“W-what?” 
“I want one. A baby. I- I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked about it, but I’ve been thinkin’ about it a lot, and seein’ that baby today, it just- shit, I just couldn’t stop picturin’ what it would be like to have one of our own I guess.” 
If you weren’t a puddle before, you sure as fuck were now.  
An overwhelming sensation of nerves and excitement began thrumming through your veins, your heart beat pounding in your ears as your face grew warm and a smile started to spread between your cheeks. You were almost certain you had to be dreaming, asking again to make sure that someone needed to come and wake you up and send you back to reality. 
“Joel… Really?” 
“Yeah, really. Nothin’ I want more. I know I ain’t gonna even be close to the perfect dad, but I know you’ll be sucha good mom, and I’ll be damned if I don’t want some tiny lil versions of us runnin’ around. Couldn’t think of anything that would make me happier than that. Like I said, I know that we ain’t talked about in a while, and if ya aren’t ready yet that’s okay but I-” 
Before Joel could even finish the rest of his thought, you were pressing up to plant your lips to his with passionate intensity, hands roaming up his chest before cupping his jaw and the scratchy stubble of his cheeks while your stomach flipped with arousal and want, already feeling a damp patch beginning to pool in the cotton of your underwear. 
You pulled away, kisses traveling along his jawline and up his neck until you were nipping at his ear, the hot breath of your words whispering against his skin. 
“You wanna make a baby, Joel Miller?” 
“Fuck-” Joel groaned, reaching his other arm around you grab at your ass, pulling you in tight enough to feel the bulge beginning to grow under the denim of his worn jeans, pressing against your thigh.
“‘Cause there’s nothing that I want more than to make you a daddy.” You smirked, looking up to watch Joel’s eyes darken with lust, jaw going slack as a low groan rumbled in his chest, his once half hard cock now fully erect and straining against his zipper, trying to keep from giggling watching your husband try to string together any sort of thoughts to speak. 
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ-” He moaned, running his hand over his face to try and regain his composure to keep from busting right then and there. “You- fuck, you sure, baby?” 
“Mhmmmm. Don’t think I’ve ever been so sure of anything in my whole life. So sure,” you paused, softly pressing your lips to his between words, “that I think we should go make one right now.” 
Your adamant confirmation was all it took to set off something almost animalistic in Joel, crashing his lips back into yours in a messy clash of tongues and teeth, gripping his hands under your thighs to hoist you up around his hips and lock your legs behind the small of his back. Without ever letting your mouths part, Joel was already halfway to the bedroom before you had even realized it, playfully giggling at how frantically he was carrying you down the hallway, your bodies bumping against the walls and door frames, too focused on desperate and needy kisses for any sort of spatial awareness. 
Finally reaching your bed, Joel carefully laid you down, letting your back fall into the mattress, leaving your lower half to hang off the edge before your husband was on his knees, settling himself between your parted thighs. 
You sat up on your elbows, watching as Joel tightened his grip around the meat of your legs, peppering kisses up the inside of each across your soft skin before coming face to face with your core, planting another soft kiss there before letting his fingers ghost over your heat, still covered by your jeans. 
He rapidly worked at the button of your pants, shuffling them down off your hips to reveal your underwear, now absolutely soaked with arousal from the prospect alone of Joel knocking you up and carrying his baby. 
“Jesus Christ, baby girl, look at ‘cha.” Joel tutted, admiring how the cotton of your underwear clung to the outline of your cunt, sticking to the puffy and swollen lips of your pussy from how wet you were. “Haven’t even touched ya yet. This all for me, darlin’?” 
Just as you began to try and answer, Joel took one of his fingers, barely dragging it over the damp fabric before beginning to rub soft circles over your covered clit, eliciting a pathetic whimper from you at the electric sensation.  
“F-fuck- It’s all for you, b-baby.” You stammered, moaning even louder as a second finger joined the first, pressing more pressure into you sensitive nub as he nudged each of your legs to drape over his shoulders, his free hand tugging at the waistband of your underwear, making you instinctually lift your hips as he yanked them off your legs to crumple in a messy pile with your pants. 
“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy I’ve ever seen.” Joel mewled, running his fingers up and down through the weeping seams of your folds, toying with your entrance while draping his arm across your hips to hold your squirming lower half in place. “Wants me to fuck her full of me and fill her up so bad, huh?” 
“P-please, Joel. Want you to fill me up so badly.” You whimpered, staring down at your husband, a devilish grin spread across his face, licking his lips as his eyes darted back and forth between your blissed out face and the glistening mess between your thighs. 
“I will sweetheart, promise. Gotta taste you first though, baby. Gotta make sure you’re nice n’ready for me. ‘Cause once we start, I ain’t lettin’ you outta this bed ‘till I knock you up.” 
With that, Joel was diving between your legs, lapping you up in long and firm strokes, pressing against your clit in the way he knew would make you fall apart under his tongue. While he would have loved to have spend hours just like this, making you writhe under his touch, drinking up your arousal like a wandering man parched in the heat of the desert, Joel had one thing on his mind, and one thing only- 
To get you pregnant.   
Joel began to intensify the pace of his tongue, swirling and sucking around your clit as two of his thick fingers pushed into your heat, sliding in and out of your entrance with ease from how wet and worked up you were. Curling his fingers ever so slightly, you cried out as Joel bumped against your g-spot, pushing against the soft, spongy spot as his tongue worked its magic. 
You could feel the arousal shooting through your veins, heat beginning to bloom in your stomach as Joel fucked you with his fingers and mouth, shooting your hand down to grab fistfulls of his thick, brown hair to brace yourself for your impending orgasm. 
“J-Joel, oh fuck- Fuck, baby, I’m c-close. Don’t stop, please, don’t stop.” You whined, pussy beginning to flutter around Joel’s fingers, the tightening only egging him on further to get you to cross the finish line. 
With just a little more pressure of his tongue, Joel could feel your cunt clamping down around his digits, watching the pleasure shoot through your body as you came, your orgasm crashing through you like a tsunami. 
As you reached your high, Joel drank up your arousal, not faltering in his pace, too focused on your pretty cries of his name being chanted like a prayer to do anything but keep going and making you feel good. 
Truth be told, Joel had gotten so lost between your thighs, the only thing stopping him was the tensing feeling between his, so pussy drunk and determined to fuck you full of him that he was worried he was about to cum too if he didn’t stop. 
Pulling off you, Joel frantically stood up, racing to undo his belt and jeans, yanking them down his legs in tandem with his boxers as his cock slapped against his stomach, precum already pearling from his tip, desperate to be inside of you. His shirt quickly followed his pants, ripping it over his head as his broad body caged yours under him, helping you to scoot back on the bed until your head hit the pillows, trailing kisses up and down your body the whole way. 
As Joel kissed and nipped at your skin, you quickly shuffled off your top and bra, leaving you bare beneath him, moaning as his tongue flicked against each of your newly exposed pebbled nipples, grouping your breast and kneading the soft flesh in his palms. 
Even though you had just came, you could already feel your cunt starting to clench around nothing, desperate to feel Joel inside of you, to stretch you out with his thick cock and fuck you until you couldn’t think straight. But with the way your chest was heaving and breath shaking from your orgasm, you could barely muster out the words you wanted. 
“J-Joel, p-please, baby. P-please.” 
You snaked your hand between your bodies to reach for Joel’s cock, wrapping your fingers around his length and swiping your thumb over his leaking tip, a low groan rumbling in his chest as you stroked him, trying to guide him to slide between your legs and ease your ache. 
Lowering his hips, you moved your hand and let his replace it, Joel pumping himself a few times before guiding his tip between your folds, collecting your slick to coat his cock, using every last ounce of self-control he had as his eyes locked with yours, wanting to see your face as he pushed inside you. 
“Please, what, darlin’?” Joel teased, knowing damn well what you were begging for. 
“Need to feel you, Joel. Need you to put a baby in me.” You moaned, reaching up to grab his face, your palm rubbing against his stubble as your fingers tugged on the curls at the nape of his neck. 
With one more pump, Joel lined himself up with your entrance, sliding into your heat, the sweet stretch and sting of his length making the breath hitch in the back of your throat, filling you up inch by inch until he bottomed out inside you with his tip just kissing your cervix. 
Joel couldn’t help but smirk as he watched your mouth fall open, parted lips letting a soft moan escape while your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head at the newfound sensation, giving you another moment to adjust before he began to slowly roll his hips, dragging his cock in and out of your core. 
“Christ, baby girl, so wet and tight. Like this pussy was made just for me. Made for me to fuck ya full of me until it’s got no choice but to fuckin’ take.” Joel groaned, reaching down to grab your thighs, pinning your knees to your chest, stretching you open to take Joel even deeper, practically feeling him in your stomach with the position he had you in. 
“Joel, oh my god- fuck, you feel so good. Fuck, baby. Want you to fill me up so bad.” You whimpered, Joel now beginning to pick up his pace as he thrust in and out of you, continually punching in that perfect spot over and over again, leaving your brain bordering on short circuiting. 
Joel’s fingertips dug deeper into the flesh of your thighs, pushing your legs down just far enough to be chest to chest with you, the sweat dampened curls of his forehead brushing against yours as your mouths met in an electric kiss, catching each other’s muffled moans with each snap of Joel’s hips. 
“Yeah, sweetheart? Want me to fill you up? Fuck a baby into you? Let everyone see what a pretty momma you are, carryin’ our kid?” Joel grunted, picturing you, months from now, belly round and tits swollen, pregnant with your baby, wondering how many you’d let him give you, because fuck, he’d keep knocking you up until he had nothing left to give. 
Each push and pull of your bodies against each other felt more and more electric, an undeniable coil tightening in your stomach with the way Joel was pounding into you and the hairs at the base of his cock were brushing against your clit, already feeling yourself beginning to teeter on the brink of pleasure once again. 
“Yes, fuck, fuck- yes, Joel. I wanna have your baby. Want you to knock me up so I can make you a daddy. Please, baby, please.” You were all but sobbing at this point, your fingers digging into the tan and sweat sheened skin of Joel’s broad shoulders, overwhelmed by the lewd combinations of Joel’s heavy pants in your ear and wet squelching of your pussy as his pelvis flushed against yours repeatedly. 
Joel could feel you beginning to tighten around him, pussy sucking him in with its warmth and wetness, ready to clamp around his cock and milk him for all he was worth. 
“That’s it, darlin’, I know you’re close. Gotta cum for me first though, baby girl. Gotta feel ya soak me before I stuff ya so full of me, I swear t’god, you’ll be drippin’ outta me for days. So fuckin’ full that I’ll get you pregnant right now.” Joel groaned through gritted teeth, leaning back to reach and grab your leg, wrapping it around the small of his back before you lifted your other to join it, locking your ankles to keep him as close to you as possible. 
“Joel, oh my god, fuck baby, fuck, I’m gonna- fuckfuckfuck-” 
Suddenly, your orgasm was rushing through every inch of you, crying out as the pleasure hit you like a freight train, choking Joel’s cock with your pussy, unable to do anything but relish in the white hot bliss that had you nearly floating out of your own body. 
While Joel would have kept fucking you until the sun went down, the truth was he was relieved to feel you cum, spending every second since your agreement in the kitchen trying to keep from finishing until he was balls deep inside you and you were soaking his cock as you reached your high. The realization that now was his chance to make good on his promise, to fill you up and fuck a baby into you, ignited something primal, feral, in him, pounding into you at a punishing pace as he could feel himself teetering on the brink of collapse right with you. 
“That’s my girl. That’s it, cum all over my cock, baby. Shit, I’m gonna cum too, fuck- gonna fill this tight lil pussy up so goddamn much, give you a baby, make you a momma, oh fuck!” 
With one final stutter of his hips, Joel let out a strangled moan, flushing his hips against yours as he milked himself of every last drop, painting your warm, wet walls with hot ropes of his spend, making sure nothing went to waste. 
He couldn’t help but but press even further into you, plugging you with his length and fucking his cum as deep as he could into your cunt to make sure it took, collapsing on top of you with his cock still buried in your heat, letting your chests heave together in sync as you both caught your breath. 
Joel was convinced he had never cum so much in his entire life, afraid that if he pulled out, that somehow he’d have more left to give, and sure as fuck wasn’t going to risk letting anything coming out of him end up not inside of you. 
Well, not until your muffled grunt rumbled beneath him. 
 “Joel, baby, I love you but you’re kinda squishing me.” You huffed, giggling to yourself as you watched your husband come-to in real time out of his post-orgasmic state, immediately offering a half muttered apology as he rolled off you, sitting back on his knees to admire the shiny and slick mess between your legs. 
“Fuck me…” Joel murmured to himself, eyes wide as he stared at your pussy- wet, puffy and soaking with your arousal, bringing his fingers to your spent hole as he watched a dribble of his cum begin to leak out. Gently scooping it up, he collected everything he could, pressing it back into your cunt before pulling his hand out. Crawling up the bed to lay next to you, Joel wrapped you up in his arms as the little spoon, peppering ticklish kisses over your back and shoulders, making you burst into laughter. 
“Joel, stop! That tickles!” You squealed, squirming in his grasp, trying to defend yourself from his unrelenting attack of soft, plush lips and scratchy beard dancing across your skin. 
“Don’t laugh so damn hard, or all my hard work’s ‘bout to come out!” Joel teased, giving you a playful nudge, pulling you in even closer. 
“Stop making me laugh, then! Plus, I think you came enough to put quadruplets inside of me, so I think we’ll be okay.” You snorted, Joel joining in on the laughter. 
“Baby, I don’t think I’ve ever came that hard in my whole goddamn life.” Joel sighed, shrugging as you rolled your head up to look at him and that stupid goofy grin he got whenever he couldn’t contain his excitement about something. “God, I love you.” 
“I love you too, Joel.” 
The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, Joel slowly bringing his arm to rest across your stomach, thumb slowly tracing careful circles on your skin. 
“You’re gonna make such a good mom. I’m the luckiest man alive that you wanna have a family with me. Still not really sure what I ever did to deserve it.” 
“Joel! You’re gonna make me cry! And this is before pregnancy hormones, ya jerk.” You tried to laugh, choking back the tears welling in your eyes. 
“Yeah, what a jerk, your husband tellin’ you how much he loves you.” He teased back, planting a long kiss on your temple, before pressing another one to your lips. Another wave of soft silence followed, watching Joel’s face scrunch in a calculated concentration. “How big of a crib you think I gotta make? I don’t know ‘bout a rockin’ chair, but a crib can’t be that hard. I gotta measure the guest room tomorrow.” 
“Honey, I don’t even know if I’m pregnant yet, you don’t need to have a crib built tomorrow.” You teased, laughing at Joel, despite the fact his mind was already thinking about a baby room and accessories had you melting. 
“Sweetheart, what did I say earlier? I ain’t lettin’ you outta this bed ‘till we know there’s a baby in there.” He smirked, nodding at his hand still splayed across your stomach, “So you better get comfortable, ‘cause if it’s up to me, there ain’t a chance in hell we’re gettin’ anything but a positive pregnancy test at the end of this month, and we'll sure need that crib nine months from now. Never hurts to get a head start."
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Tag List: (Sorry if I tagged you and you don't wanna be tagged, just let me know!!)
@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine
@pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24
@3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85
@partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo
@endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @milly-louise
@jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled
@pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper r @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog
@hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr
@amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild
@copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog
@samgirl4life @pigeonmama @survivingandenduring @itsokbbygrl @javierpena-inatacvestnotifs
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gamblersdoll · 2 months ago
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divorced husband! katsuki who’s still in love with you— always breaking a potential relationship up. and it takes one simple thing: a text.
finally pressing through the woods of dating pools, apps and events, you thought you could get a break. a fucking deserved break! no more heroes, just civilians. theyd make more time and effort for the relationship! thats all you thought about, effort and time. it takes you a couple of times to finally emerge into the dating pools, but it was working.
was working, until that fuck decided to text you.
“hows your date going, baby? you know daddy misses you.”
your heart drops, how the actual fuck did he know that you were on a date?? you wanted to grind your teeth, your date sweaty now.
“so.. you used to date— dynamight?” he asks, hoping and praying that you didnt, because he knew hed be fucked up if you did. he had so many questions, for how long? when ? did you guys have kids?—
“we were married, but i divorced him.” you say, sighing when he quickly gathers his things to dine and dash out the semi fancy restaurant. another spoiled date, you thought. or maybe the date you chose was simply a bitch, obviously you wouldnt want that.
but he was the seventh spoiled date, for some reason— conveniently, katsuki was always aware.
“why do you make me do this, baby?” he whispered in your ear, hands in your panties copping a feel of your plump ass. he sucks in a breath, almost like he was resisting the temptation to get on his knees.. again. “what with all these dates ‘nd shit..? you really wanna move on from me?”
“we’re— fuck.. divorced, you perverted asshole.” you grit, trying your best to push him away. “get off and out.”
“jeez, you’re pickin’ up on my language.” he snickers, reminiscing on his art that littered your neck. “you vowed to me, ya know? that yer’ always mine.”
a irritation grew over you. “when you married me, and you werent always away from me.” you remind, putting salt in the wound. “maybe if you were around , we’d be married and you would have every right to do this.”
now he was irritated, flipping you onto your stomach on what used to be your dining table. he chuckled, pulling your head back by your hair and wagging his finger in your face. you somewhat missed when he did this, dominating you in the bedroom. “ah ah, i still have every right.” he coos, his fingers flicking at your entrance and slipping pass. “you havent gotten away from me, not at all.”
“katsuki—“
“uh uh, quiet.” he commands, pressing your face against the table as he hikes your leg up to crouch. “has this pretty little thing missed me?”
“no, i havent missed you.” that was a lie, a terrible one..
he leaves a slap on your ass, spitting on your clit. “meant this pretty pussy, girl.” he snarks, pulling you back by your hips to have a face full of your cunt. your breath hitches, him laughing vibrating against your skin. “still so fucking sweet.. bet you havent came in months, have you little slut?”
you nod, toes curling in embarrassment, pleasure, and sensitivity.
“you remember who yer daddy is, do ya?” he asks, tongue swirling around your clit. his hands press against the under cup of your ass, squeezing and jiggling. “i am, im yer daddy.” he reminds, licking up from your clit to your back to kiss. “how bad do you want me, baby? use your words.”
you couldnt , using your eyes. “please.”
“cmon’, dont tell me only months being separated you forget yer manners.” he raises an eyebrow, suddenly his tip was smearing pre up and down your slit. “do i need to remind you basics, baby?”
you shook your head frantic, he bitting his lip to bite back the urge to bite you.
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euno11a · 10 months ago
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”Simon, you need to promise me you won’t get mad…” you said as you looked at him from the opposite side of the couch.
his brows furrowed as he looked at you, “Can’t promise, love.”
you nibbled your lip, picking at the skin on your cuticles before finally spitting it out. “I have a crush on someone!”
you’ve seen Simon in many ways - when he’s angry, sad, happy, horny and that beautiful look he gave you when he saw you on your wedding day, but nothing would’ve ever prepared you for the look you got when you said that. He looked like you hit his heart a thousand times. “Y’what?”
“I- I have a crush…and the problem is, I can’t stop staring and thinking he’s the most handsome guy. And when he stared back at me, I got butterflies and felt myself blush.”
He sat quietly, listening to you as you rambled on about your new crush…at least you were telling him and not cheating.
You let out a small sigh, “He makes me nervous and giddy; not nervous in a bad way, but nervous in a ‘I just want him to lean in and kiss me’ kinda way. Like, ‘Hey, my phone buzzed and I hope it’s him’ kinda way. And when I get ready to go out, I struggle to find the perfect outfit because I wanna look just right…”
that feeling of comfort he once had with you, his wife, was just fading away so easily. After all the shit that had happened to him, you were the last one he thought would do this to him. He stood up and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head and walking off to the front door.
you got up and ran over to him, grabbing his arm. “Si, where are you going?” You looked at him, trying to figure out what made him upset.
“Away. Let y’have yer time with your new lad.” His voice was stern and full of venom. But it only got worse when he saw you crack a smile.
“Simon…no, lovie, I was talking about you! You’re the guy I have a crush on…and I know it’s gushy, but I feel like a teenager again every time I look at you. It’s your fault for being so handsome.” Your voice gentle as you cupped his face and pressed little butterfly kisses to his cheeks and nose.
he could do nothing but stand there dumbfounded. “Y’need t’find a better way of sayin’ shit, doll. Thought you were bout to leave me…” his voice got softer when he said that last bit.
your eyes softened, knowing how it sounded to him. You sank to your knees and pressed small kisses to his sweatpant clad thighs, earning a small groan from him. “Wha’re you doin’ love?”
“Apologizing…” you said, staring up at him through your lashes as you pulled his sweats down.
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mattybsgroupie · 2 months ago
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— milk ★ matt sturniolo
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— CONTENTS: established relationship; nipple play/boob sucking; mommy kink; BREASTFEEDING kink; pregnant!reader; sub!matt
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— NOTES: this was highly requested and im ngl, it’s definitely one of my favorite kinks! however, i know it’s still a taboo so please if you don’t like it, DON’T READ IT. i might get criticized a lot for writing this, but remember this is fanfiction. it’s a fetish, a fantasy. none of this is real. it’s just a story — and i hope you enjoy it as much as i did! ♡ but if i get cancelled im gonna deactivate and you’ll never see me again! mwah!
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“you are so pretty” matt said as he plopped down next to you, snuggling closer. “you’re glowing, seriously. you look amazing” he complimented you as he caressed your face with his thumb, the coarse skin of his fingertips rubbing against your soft cheeks.
matt always dreamed of being a father. when he first heard the news, he fell down to his knees. he immediately wrapped his arms around your hips, nuzzling his face on your tummy before kissing it over and over again, whispering a bunch of thank yous. although matt was filled with joy, he couldn’t help himself. he had his hands all over you — he would even lift your belly so your back would stop hurting. matt was simply mesmerized by the sight of you carrying his babies.
his hands travelled down your body, stopping by your round, prominent tummy. matt was gentler now that the girls had started kicking, as if they could actually feel his touch. the only thing he wouldn’t go easy on were your tits — he never did. right now, matt found himself squeezed between your spreaded legs, trying hard to hold his weight up so he wouldn’t hurt you, both knees against the soft cushioned sofa. his left palm had quickly moved to your chest while he kissed your neck, nibbling your sensitive skin between his teeth. 
“matt… don’t squeeze them too hard” you sighed when matt increased the pressure of the massage. he hesitated for a second, removing his hand and pulling away from your skin. matt’s baby blue orbs flickered between your lips and your breasts, “did it work?!”
you chuckled at his eagerness, adjusting your back on the couch and allowing him to lay by your side. “better than i had expected” you said, taking the strap of your nightgown in between your fingers, teasing him. “turns out i don’t really have to pump that much because it started flowing pretty easily, so i guess it’s gonna come out with some suction”
matt’s usually determined, dominant gaze altered to a soft, mesmerized one. he couldn’t really find the words, choosing instead to smash his lips against yours in a deep, wet kiss. a moan escaped from the back of your throat as you felt matt’s boner poking against your thigh, him biting your lower lip before opening a satisfied grin. “i really fucked a baby inside you didn’t i?” he spoke, more to himself than to you. he was so proud of his own accomplishment, and he needed to hear it from you. “i love you so much, my beautiful, beautiful wife”
“all yours” you whispered, sealing your lips together on a quick pack. matt’s touches were soft again, his index motioning in circles against your hardened nipple through the fabric of your dress. “turned you into a real mama hm?” he said, trying to keep a tough-guy persona, but you knew this wouldn’t last long.
matt continued speaking to himself, admiring your figure. “making milk and everything” he mumbled under his breath, fully squeezing your tit. 
“my mama” there it was. you smiled at him, ruffling his hair. “yeah? my good boy made me a true mama?” you continued to feel his hard-on pressing against you, his hips slightly moving. 
“i need it” matt’s parted lips begged as he felt his cock twitching inside his pants, puppy, pleading eyes making it harder for you to say no. “please, i need it so bad. please i’ve been a good boy” he continued. “i wanna taste you so bad, mama”
you unconsciously bit the flesh of your cheeks, trying to look unbothered. deep down, you wanted this just as much “go slow, prince”. as soon as you gave matt permission, he pulled your dress down, revealing your full, swollen breasts. they hurt often, even before you were pregnant, and matt always helped you to get rid of the soreness. he dragged his tongue on your boob, circling your nub with the wet muscle before latching his lips around your nipple. 
matt closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before sucking — just like he always did. after a few seconds, small droplets of milk landed against his tongue, the surprisingly mild taste taking over his mouth, brain and body. matt pulled away for a second, letting your tit hang loose “you…” he babbled, swallowing the liquid. once again, matt wasn’t able to form a proper sentence, getting distracted by the tiny strand of milk dripping from your nipples.
“fuck you’re leaking so much” matt mumbled, quickly latching on your chest. he wans’t gonna waste a drop. “nhng— ‘m gon’ have to take care of this while” matt spoke as he tried to swallow the sudden spurts of milk coming. “while our babies don’t come huh?” 
“gonna have to keep your mouth in my boobs all day aren’t you?” you cooed, causing matt to nod desperately. his grip and suction got faster, followed by the sudden rutting of his crotch against your bare thigh. matt was far gone now, mindlessly humping, trying to reach his high. you could be mean and make him stop — but the poor boy was enjoying it so much. it really felt like his first time all over again, the desperation, the neediness, the loud, wet noises filling the room. 
“seems like you’re the one behaving like a baby now” you said, gently pulling his hair so he’d look at you. “having my milkies and cumming inside your pants? little virgin boys do that” matt groaned at the humiliation, the sweet, warm tone of your voice making it even harder for him to hold back. “mama— please” he managed to speak. “not… not a baby!”
“oh? aren’t you?” you continued the teasing, “then i guess you don’t need this am i right?” you grabbed your own tit, pulling it away from matt.
“no! i do! i need it so bad mama, please let me cum… wan’ be your good boy” matt pouted, begging to keep sucking. “that’s what i thought” you said, letting go of his hair. “be a good boy and cum in your pants for me”.
matt suckled harder than he ever did, trying to get out everything he could. actually, he was probably trying to milk you dry, just so that your tits would need his mouth again. his body tensed before he bucked his hips forward, a sudden warm taking over his boxer as the thick, sticky spurt came out of his slit, filling his underwear with cum.
matt stopped and sighed deeply, letting his body fall flat next to you. “you ruined my dress” you teased, looking at the milk stains on the fabric. “i’ll do the laundry anyways” he chuckled, still coming back from his high. “buy more. i’m gonna ruin all of them”. 
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matt masterlist | complete masterlist
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gloomyluvr · 2 months ago
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NEEDY
in which rafe just wants to nap
fem!reader x rafe cameron
fluff
warnings!: bit of sarah shade. cameron siblings getting along (iktr 🙂‍↕️), reader is from the cut and kind of a pogue idk,
a/n: hiii ! first rafe fic ever and first fic since 2023 (oops...) to my spiderverse readers i will write when they give us content and when the fandom is alive. hope this fic is good and people like it. it's not the best but i'm working on other fics so give me a chance please 😣. this ones pretty short. pls let me know if you enjoyed this or if there are any spelling errors. requests are open !
masterlist
summer in the outer banks was nothing short of fun. spending most days at the beach taking in the warm sun, relaxing and cooling down in the cold water, all while hanging out with the people you love most. but fuck, did it get so hot sometimes. unbearably hot. it wasn’t enough to cool down in the water, the intense sun on skin overpowering the coolness of the ocean. it was worse at the chateau, or anywhere on the cut. only a lucky few could afford the luxury of air conditioning. fortunately, you had a super awesome hot rich boyfriend with a mansion with air conditioning that ran 24/7. 
you laid in bed with the youngest cameron sibling, helping her with online shopping for the upcoming school year. having been with rafe for just a couple months, you had become close with his sisters. you saw sarah at the chateau with john b more than you had ever really seen her at tannyhill. therefore, when you spent time at the mansion, you typically spent time with wheezie when you got bored with rafe. 
“wait, that one’s cute,” you pointed to a crop top on wheezie’s laptop which rested on her knees.
“i think i already have that one though.” she looked around her room to see if the top was among the clothes on the floor before giving up and continued scrolling through the catalogue, “i feel like these clothes are too revealing.”
“cmon wheeze! this is nothing, you just gotta get out of your shell. it’s just clothes, try something new and i don’t know, maybe you’ll like it.” you tried convincing the younger girl. over the past few months you had become like an older sister to her, as sarah spent more time with john b and the other pogues.
“my dad would never let me buy these,” she turned her head to look at you. 
“just put it on rafe’s card,” you whispered, “i won’t tell.” you stuck your pinky out and wheezie quickly wrapped her pinky around yours, giggling. 
as wheezie finalized her cart a familiar voice began to call out for you, “babeee! babeee where are you!”
wheezie rolled her eyes, “speak of the devil,” she muttered. 
“summon him and he shall come,” you smiled at her which she returned, “i’m in wheezie’s room!” you called back. on queue, you heard obnoxiously loud stomps coming up the stairs. “he is so dramatic and for what?”
rafe stood in the doorway looking at you and his younger sister, “why’d you steal my girlfriend, wheeze?” 
 it was your turn to roll your eyes, “she didn’t steal me, dipshit. you were too busy ignoring me for topper and kelce and your stupid game so i came up here where i am truly loved.” you sighed, wrapping yourself around wheezie who stuck her tongue out at her older brother. in return, rafe picked up one of the shirts laying on the floor and chucked it at wheezie. 
“douchebag!” she yelled.
“cmon y/n, i wanna go take a nap.” 
“but i’m so comfy here!” you whined cuddling wheezie tighter. 
rafe walked over to your side and quickly got on the bed, spooning you and throwing one of his long legs over your body, reaching wheezie. rafe wasn’t an affectionate brother by any means, but when he was with you he definitely softened up with everyone around you guys. 
wheezie kicked her brother’s calf, “ew get your nasty dogs away from me!” but rafe didn’t budge.
“what’re you guys doing?” he mumbled looking at the laptop screen. 
“y/n’s helping me shop for school.” 
“why? you have enough clothes. you don’t need none of those crop tops. no boyfriends till you’re 30.” rafe stated as he viewed the clothes on the screen.
you gently smacked the leg that was on top of your own, “don’t be rude! wheezie’s not little anymore.”
 “hm, whatever.” he grumbled, nuzzling his face against your neck, eyes shut as he fully enveloped you leaving no space between your bodies. his hands found yours, wasting no time to intertwine your fingers. 
“get off me, fatty!” you feigned disgust, as if you weren’t enjoying every second of rafe’s neediness to cuddle.
rafe grumbled, “only if you come take a nap with me in my room.” 
“fineeee, get up then,” you reached behind to gently smack his butt and he quickly got up, no effort to hide his big smile, “sorry wheeze, duty calls.” you sighed, getting up following rafe as he walked to wheezie’s door.
before walking out he turned back to wheezie and stuck his tongue out as she had done earlier. with no hesitation, wheezie returned the gesture as you smacked rafe’s head and shoved him out the door. 
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joelsgoldrush · 5 months ago
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“you can use my skin to bury secrets in” | 6.8k
old man!logan x f!reader
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SUMMARY: Saliva floods his mouth as you rise to your feet, looking down at him from above. Gracefully angelic, and yet— “I know what I’m asking for,” you continue, your voice descending to a low murmur that scratches pleasantly against some dark and remote corner of his brain. Then you lower yourself onto his lap, your thighs bracketing his waist. You repeat your question: “Can I help you?” OR Logan had always known your generosity would get him in trouble. WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni smut 18+ cursing. drinking. pining. mentions of alcohol. dirty talk. age gap (reader's in her late 20s). logan’s POV. angst/self-deprecation (he just needs a little loving). religious imagery. feelings. petnames. chauffeur!logan. oral sex (m receiving, tiny bit of f receiving). sort of dom!logan. doggy style. unprotected p in v. creampie. A/N: i could say i'm sorry for this, but i'm not. love love love this old man (#needthat). heavily inspired by the song "i know" by fiona apple. @lubdubology my partner in crime who keeps putting up with me, tysm!!! hope you all enjoy it <3
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The line between being a good and bad person is thin. So thin, in fact, that Logan finds himself stepping back and forth across it constantly.
Rescuing a kitten from a tree? Good.
Punching a guy at a bar because he didn’t feel like being acknowledged? Bad.
Saving countless lives from mass destruction? Good—heroic, even.
But killing others to do it? Bad—condemnable, scum of the earth.
Where does that leave him? Which side has laid claim to his soul? He’s long accepted he’ll never see the pearly gates.
When the day comes that his body can no longer take it, and he only grows wearier, he’s pretty sure there’s a special place in hell with his name on it, etched in some grave awaiting to be filled.
Maybe Satan’s already counting down the days until he shows up at his door, who knows?
Yet, the more time passes by, the less afraid he is of what lies beneath the surface. He’s learned to coexist with the darkness, with the kind of pain and loneliness that would crush most men.
He doesn’t know how, but he survives it—the agony, the memories, the solitude that hits him from time to time.
And still, he doesn't lose himself entirely. He’s tempted, of course, to linger in the past—it’s always easier to drown there.
If he could go back, he knows he wouldn’t be alone in choosing that path. Some days, it feels like the only option.
But there’s no you in his past.
Logan inhales sharply when your tongue teases his slit, lapping at the precum pooling there. You hum at the taste, your hand resting on his bare thigh, fingers pressing into his skin. Your other hand lazily strokes the length of him, working the inches your mouth can’t take.
It’s clear you’re enjoying this. He can tell from the way your lashes flutter each time he thrusts a little deeper into your slick warmth. A win-win situation.
Letting a girl like you do this to him? That’s bad. Very bad. Red flags all around.
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He meets you when he least expects it.
It’s a night like any other. He’s been driving for God knows how long. His joints ache from being in the same position for hours, and a part of his left knee he didn’t even know could hurt begins to throb.
It takes everything in him not to call it quits for the night, not to turn around and head home like a coward.
When exactly his life fell into this monotonous cycle, he’s not entirely sure, but it happened somewhere along the way. Now, it’s all the same: taking care of Charles during the day, catching an hour or two of sleep, then gripping the steering wheel with white-knuckled intensity, driving through endless stretches of road, resisting any attempts at small talk from the passengers he chauffeurs around.
They all try—every single one of them. They think if they can crack his harsh and bitter exterior, he’ll open up, reveal something, anything to make their eyes go wide.
But why? Why do they insist on breaking through his shell? What do they hope to discover?
No one really cares what’s going on in his mind. They just want to feel good about themselves—like they’ve been kind, amiable, empaths intending to fill some empty and obscure corner of their own lives.
Logan refuses to be the person who grants them that satisfaction.
You slip into the backseat of his limo, closing the door with a soft click. The night clings to you, the scent of the bar still lingering on your clothes. The music is loud enough for him to hear from outside, and he sees the people lined up at the door, willing to cause a fight if it means securing a good time.
There's a slight frown tugging at your features, your lips pulled downward, though your voice is still polite when you blurt out your address.
Five minutes into the drive and you haven’t said a word. Internally, he’s savoring the silence, so happy he could jump on one foot.
This kind of peace is rare. He’d grown unaccustomed to it. The tension in his shoulders eases as the city lights blur past.
But, all good things come to an end, because—
“How’s your night going?” you ask, fiddling with the seatbelt to have something between your fingers. Logan glances at you through the mirror, his eyes catching yours just for a moment, long enough to see the faint, apologetic smile you offer him. He allows himself a heartbeat more to take you in before focusing back on the road.
You click your tongue, a soft sound of disapproval ringing in his ears. “Well, thank you.”
He lets out a quiet huff, grinding his teeth together. “I’d prefer if we stayed like we were before,” he mutters, his voice rough and gravelly. His attention flickers between the passing cars and the occasional glimpses of you that startle him every time he searches for the mirror. Cars. You. Cars. You. You. You. “Y’know, not talking.”
“But that’s no fun at all,” you retort, sliding more to your left, nearly positioning yourself in the middle of the backseat. It gives him a better view of you—whether intentional or not, he can’t say.
The lipstick on your lips is still flawless. A sparkly necklace glints just above the neckline of your dress, and matching earrings dangle from your ears. Wrapped in a leather jacket, you look effortlessly alluring.
This entire sequence is enough to confirm that by no means is he going to heaven. Straight to hell, he thinks, allowing his gaze to trace over each detail of your frame. Straight to hell.
You don’t give up. “Your aura is off.”
That prompts a crooked smirk from him, a shake of his head as he mumbles under his breath: “M’sorry, my what’s off?”
“Your aura,” you clarify, motioning toward him with a light jingle from the many bracelets adorning your wrist. “It’s the energy that surrounds you.”
Logan snorts, amused for a brief second. “Well, you weren’t exactly a beacon of life when you got in either.”
You chuckle softly, leaning back against the seat and looking out the window. “I’m much better now.” A pause before you continue, your tone shifting, losing strength. “My date stood me up. Last-minute cancellation.”
It’s not anger, nor is it disappointment, that laces your words. You seem more resigned than anything else. He’d have expected you to sound at least a bit more conflicted.
“I should’ve seen it coming. He’d been asking to move it forward for a while.”
Does he look like the type of driver who doubles as a therapist? He wishes he could understand why you're telling him all this.
“That sucks,” he still responds, because even though he hasn’t gone out with a woman in what feels like centuries, he understands that sensation all too well. “First time meeting him?”
Listen up, everyone—he’s genuinely engaging in conversation with another soul. This doesn’t happen often.
He hears you hum, eyes still trained on the outside world. You sigh, crossing your arms over your torso. “Would you mind rolling your window up? I’m kind of freezing here.”
“I’d mind that very much,” he says, his voice carrying its usual gruff edge. He fights the urge to grin, but then you unbuckle your seatbelt, leaning in closer to him. Your body is wedged between his seat and the passenger’s, and he perceives your stare boring into his side profile. “Put your seatbelt back on.” 
“You’re fucking with me.” Your finger taps his shoulder once, twice. “First, I get all dolled up for an idiot who bails on me, and now you have the nerve to make fun of me? Give me a break.”
Your eyes stay on him, a smile plastered on your face, anticipating any possible answer.
Crack, crack, crack—you intend to break through his shell, watching him from the front row, waiting for the moment it gives way.
Before you can say more, he cuts you off. “Seatbelt.”
It’s a command, an instruction, and you comply without hesitation.
Warmth pools and stirs low in his gut as he notes how quickly you obey him. 
Would you still look at him like that if you knew the blood he’s scrubbed off his hands? The flesh that his claws have shredded? The names of the lives he’s taken?
Would your warm gaze turn cold, filled with dread instead of curiosity?
Maybe this is hell. Are you the Devil in disguise, tempting him to cross a line he won’t be able to come back from?
A few minutes later, he pulls up to your building. A really nice one, he notes. You announce you live on the sixth floor. He doesn’t need to know that, does he? Why would you tell him that? Why give that piece of information to a complete stranger?
You linger in the backseat, as though you’re expecting him to turn and look at you. And he does, though not for the reason you might expect. “You got everything?”
Eager and full of life, you nod, clutching your purse to your chest. You avert your gaze to read his ID tag, the one that contains his personal details. “James?”
“Glad you can read,” he utters, pulling out a small bottle of liquor from under the seat. He drains it all in one go, savoring the fleeting burn as it slides down his throat, which is enough to keep him going. “C’mon, kid. I already charged you.”
“You drink while you drive?”
“Keeps me entertained,” he says dryly. It’s the only thing he knows how to do. Raising the empty bottle in your direction, he arches a brow. “Goodnight, darlin’. Leave me a good review on your way out.”
You roll your eyes at him, silent as you exit the vehicle, closing the door behind you. While fumbling for your keys, four words escape your mouth. Casual yet devastating, they ruin him: “I’ll see you around.” 
For a couple of days, you don’t bother him again. Bother—notice the implication of the verb in question.
He’d be lying if he said he didn’t think of you after that drive. Each time his phone buzzes, a small, restless part of him hopes it’s you, asking for his services, wanting him to be the one you seek out.
And it happens. The best things seem to occur when the moon hangs high and bright.
You: Hi.
He stares at the message, recognition washing over him. He knows it’s you; he can see the other texts you exchanged that night he took you home.
You: Are you working tonight?
You’ve got to be kidding him.
Logan: Why are you texting me?
He types the words with frustration, his thumb hovering over the screen longer than usual. 
You: Why are you answering me?
Oh, you’re smart. 
Logan: Take my advice. Talk to a guy your own age.
You: Damn. Already jumping to conclusions. I was just going to ask you if you wanted to have a drink with me.
Logan: I’m busy.
You: Well, what time do you get off?
Logan: I work all night.
You: Can’t even make a quick stop? I swear it won’t take you more than twenty minutes.
An impulse to throw his phone out the window surges within him, but he manages to restrain himself.
Then, as if on cue, the device vibrates again—of course, it’s you.
You: The drinks are on me. Let me know if you change your mind.
Do you think he’s going to let you pay for him? Absolutely not. 
What surprises him more than the message is how easily he remembers your address. It appears to be ingrained in his mind.
He cancels his next trip, scheduled for ten minutes from now, his new destination being your building.
Once he pulls up, he does what feels most natural: he honks. Multiple times. Maybe he’s lucky and you’ll tell him to fuck off.
But you don’t. You’re laughing as you make your way over to the limo, sliding into the backseat in the same way you did a week ago. Your plan had succeeded—you had him exactly where you wanted.
Far from hiding it, you make it evident, obvious. Your heartbeat thrums in the air, and Logan can hear it loud and clear, like the bass in one of those funky songs he likes.
There’s no room for mistakes. He won’t deny it. Even if the feeling is mutual, he can’t shake the idea that he’s doing something wrong.
In his eyes, you’re the forbidden fruit—irresistible, the ultimate temptation known to humankind, camouflaged in the fur of a pretty woman.
You, his paradise on earth, could only lead to one thing: a longing for a chance with you, which he should never be granted in the first place.
He’s diving headfirst into disgrace, and the more he realizes it, the worse it feels. If he were to be scolded like a child, maybe he’d feel relieved, but he’s no kid. He’s a grown-ass man who should be able to resist.
Yet, self-restraint is like sand slipping through his fingers—never lasting long enough.
“You came.” Astonishment. Uncertainty. Amusement. Blinking your eyes at him, you sit very upright, and you don't even bother fastening your seatbelt. “Honestly? I thought you were going to block me.”
I can’t, he thinks. I wouldn’t be able to. I’m not that strong.
“What happened this time? Another failed date?” he inquires, still not starting the car. A look of perplexity appears on your features, puzzled about why he’s not moving. “Ain’t you forgetting something?” He tugs on his own seatbelt for emphasis, the fabric snapping back into place against his coat.
Once again, you follow his lead. “I don’t need to get stood up to want to see you,” you say, placing your hand on his shoulder for balance—or so he tells himself. It takes him all his willpower not to collapse right then and there. “Besides, I’m not bad company. I’ve been told I can be pretty funny.” 
“I see…” he trails off, catching your gaze through the rearview mirror, not shocked in the slightest to find you waiting for him to look back. “Where to?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, you should. You invited me.”
How easy it is to make your chest rumble with laughter, the genuine sound bubbling up, pure and unrestrained. He feels like some amateur comedian who has just realized his real passion is to cause this type of response in others.
Except, it’s not just anyone’s laughter he insists on provoking—it’s yours, and yours alone.
An unsettling sensation envelops him the second you retrieve your hand, not before squeezing his shoulder in a friendly manner. “There’s a bar I go to with my friends sometimes,” you suggest after a beat, shoving your phone in the pocket of your jacket. “We could try that one.”
The moment he steps inside, regret washes over him. Why is everyone here under forty? He feels ancient, like fucking Fred Flintstone.
A fossil out of place, meant to dwell in the shadows, not in a scene like this.
When he freezes in the middle of the bar, your fingers intertwine with his, tugging him along, and he follows after you like a lost puppy. The only thing he’s missing is the leash.
You’re met with his quirked eyebrows as you peer into his eyes over your shoulder, a toothy grin threatening to shake the floor beneath his feet. “You know, people usually sit down before they start getting shit-faced.”
“I’m not getting drunk tonight.” Logan exhales a deep breath, trying to hide his discomfort, his eyes scanning the room. “And neither are you,” he practically yells in your ear trying to make himself heard above the pounding music and incessant chatter. He wonders if you even hear him at all.
The two of you eventually settle at the counter, drinking in silence. Logan half-expects one of your comments to pierce through the quiet, but you delight in proving him wrong.
Instead, your head sways gently to the rhythm of the song playing in the background, and you take a trial sip of your beer.
He’s acutely aware of the stares from the rest of the patrons. He can pretend to be oblivious, but the weight of several pairs of eyes burning holes into the back of his neck doesn’t go unnoticed.
Being watched has never been his favorite pastime, and somehow, it feels even more uncomfortable with you by his side.
He knows what those looks imply, can nearly taste the hidden implications behind each fleeting glance.
What’s a girl like you doing with a man like him? A question that makes no sense.
Does he have money? A well-endowed reputation? Did he recently inherit any properties?
Are you truly that desperate for human contact?
Is your bed so cold that you decide to go for the first guy who can string ten words together?
Logan doubts whether this whole experiment is part of the community service you must be doing. Maybe he should look up your name online to see if any criminal records come to the surface.
Now that he takes a moment to ponder it, you certainly fit the mold of the criminal type. The kind who gets what she wants when she wants it, leaving a trail of intrigue on her wake.
His fingers circle the glass so tightly he fears it might shatter into a million shards. You notice his tension, nudging his arm with yours, aiming to meet his eyes.
When you do (because, as he said, criminals have their own ways), you smile, and he internalizes that gesture as something familiar, something he feels he’s grown used to. Something rankled in his memory.
It’s as if he’s known you for a lifetime.
“Thank you for coming,” you say softly, and he may be going down the path of hallucinations,  but your attention remains a little too long on his lips. Then, just as quickly, it flickers back to the rest of his face, and you lean back to drink from your beer once more.
Straight to hell, he thinks, tasting the remnants of whiskey on his tongue, for ever daring to believe himself worthy of even a moment of your precious time.
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You’re probably the first person to have his full, undivided attention. And that’s… well, that’s saying something.
Most days, you’re pretty talkative, a steady stream of conversation, your words pouring out in an endless flow.
You tell him about your family, your career, that pet of yours that died when you were six years old. You mention a friend you no longer speak to, and the events that led to the downfall of your friendship.
There’s also that dish from your all-time favorite restaurant, the one you buy at least once a week because it never fails to comfort you.
Nonstop, you talk and talk, and Logan doesn’t mind one bit. Soon, he finds himself becoming an active listener—asking follow-up questions, chuckling at your jokes, even when they’re not funny at all.
He sincerely cares about what you have to say.
This whole situation with you is beyond his comprehension. Before he realizes it, you start wanting to spend more time with him.
Sometimes, you ride along in the passenger seat while he drives aimlessly through the city.
Sometimes, you invite him over, cook a meal, and he always takes the leftovers with him, as if a part of you goes with him when he leaves.
Sometimes, you come over to his place, and the roles reverse—you’re the one with the mic, asking the questions, fully aware that you’re treading on holy ground. 
Logan’s got a sign on his forehead that reads ‘Stop: do not enter.’ It’s rough around the edges, hardened by the years, all capital letters in stark blank ink. But in the end, you just take the sign and set it aside.
He never goes into too much detail. Not because he doesn’t trust you—it’s just that there’s too much to unpack, and you don’t need to know all of it. You’ll be better off not carrying the garbage he does.
Yet, you’ve got him by the throat, encouraging him to cough up disjoined pieces of his life, bits of his day, his thoughts, his feelings. It sounds stupid to him, but you make him feel alive. 
You never judge him, never flinch when he brings up stories from his past. As he sits at your table one afternoon, you look at his hands, his claws fully extended, and you don’t shy away. You rub the pad of your thumb across the rough skin of his knuckles, right where the adamantium tears through his flesh.
You don’t care that he’s a mutant, that he’s killed people. You don’t try to deny who he is or what he’s done. Oddly enough, you just wish to be by his side, staring off into the void with him. 
“But why?” he asks, partly flattered, partly frustrated. This could be compared to learning a new sport from scratch—he can’t figure you out, can’t understand why you haven’t run the other way yet.
He likes your company, though he’s always bracing himself for the inevitable day you find a better hobby and leave.
Your reasoning defies logic, and he’s afraid that at any moment, you’ll grasp the gravity of your choices.
Almost as if you could feel the turmoil brewing in his mind, you simply say: “You’re nice to be around.”
Nice. Nice. Nice. He’d cackle if he were alone. That word reverberates through him. When was the last time someone called him nice?
Bad-tempered, sure.
A pain in the ass? Definitely.
But nice? Not a term people employed to describe him.
It’s a quality reserved for you, with your endless charisma and kind heart, but not for a man of his kind.
He’s nothing more than a chauffeur, a driver, someone who does and says what’s necessary to survive. Does that make him nice? 
When he tells you he’s probably going to hell, you don’t try to make him feel better. Anyone else in your position might try to soothe him, to offer some hollow reassurance.
Your intention isn’t to change him, for him to pretend to be something he’s not. “Then I’ll meet you there,” you mutter, your shiny eyes searing into his. Under the table, your hand finds his, tender fingers grazing over his knuckles, and for once, he doesn’t pull away.
Could it be that an afterlife catching fire doesn’t sound so bad after all?
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As much as he likes to admit how easily you can shift his mood, today is not one of those days.
He’s had a nightmare—nothing new, but this one had been… different. The empty bottle on the nightstand hadn’t been of any help; it never does when they visit him in his sleep.
The ghosts of those who used to be his friends, his family, tiptoe around his dreams in the form of shadows.
Blood. Screams. Shouts of his name. He can’t save them all. Walking through the wreckage, he dodges the bodies of those he couldn’t protect, the knot in his throat tightening with every step, not allowing him to breathe.
Wherever he turns, there’s death, destruction. Sadness. Did he save them all?
It’s always the same routine. He wakes up, screaming, chest aching from the effort. His lungs burn, and he has to remind himself that the limbs attached to him are his own and not the remnants of an immobile corpse.
Sweat clings to his skin, pooling at his temples and nape. He wipes it away with the back of his hand, rubbing at the soreness in his neck.
His phone rings somewhere in the distance, pulling him from his dizzy state. He scrambles to his feet, accepting the call just before it hits voicemail.
It's you. Despite it being late, he swears he feels the gentle kiss of the sun over his brow. Your sweet voice chases away the lingering shadows of his dreams, replacing the bitter taste in his mouth with something real—a reason to get up, to start moving.
He holds onto every second of the brief call, replaying those thirty seconds in his head as he steps into the shower. When the cold water shocks his system, it pulls him fully back to consciousness. He has to get ready.
Even though you insist on getting a taxi, he refuses. He doesn’t mind the drive. His gas tank does, his wallet maybe, but Logan? He just doesn’t.
At the end of the day, he’s protective by nature, and who knows what kind of men are roaming the streets at night?
God forbid they’re anything like him—eager to prompt a smile from you, trying too hard to impress you. He arrives at the conclusion that he’d rather lose fuel and money if it means orbiting around you for longer.
You make him feel better, and tonight, he needs it more than ever. He needs you.
(Now he’s driving. He honks five times when he pulls up to your building. You get on the limo, giggling as you say: “My neighbors must hate you.” He grins. You kiss him on the cheek. Subtle. Not the first time. Still, it doesn’t get old. He feels the faint residue of lip gloss on his skin. He doesn’t wipe it off.)
Not in the mood to cook, you declare as you step into his place. The mouth-watering aroma of the Chinese food you bought fills the air, but when he reaches for the bags, you insist that he sit and relax.
Sure, he can take a seat. But to expect him to relax with you around, playing this intricate game? That’s simply impossible. You’re asking for too much. He’s a player at heart, drawn to the thrill of the chase, and he will play along.
What seems inconceivable is the expectation that he can act as if nothing is happening between these four walls.
His attempts to focus on you are futile, as his mind betrays him tonight. All he hears spilling from your lips is pure and plain gibberish. Your very presence is no longer enough to anchor him.
Already immune to your charm, Logan eats his noodles, occasionally nodding when your voice rises at the end of a sentence, indicating a question.
But he nearly chokes on his drink the moment he registers your serious expression, having never witnessed you like this before.
“Are you even here?” you ask, shoving your food aside with a swift motion of your wrist.
What should he answer? What is it that you want to hear? Of course! I’m here, listening to you. It’s a delightful night. Should I start by telling you about my most recent nightmare? Quite the entertainment!
There’s a shake of his head as he lowers his gaze, escaping your concerned expression. “M’sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty.” You tug your chair forward, claiming a piece of his personal space. You know he doesn’t mind. “Want to talk about it? Did something happen?”
“My brain is just… off today.”
“Many thoughts at the same time.” Not a question. Have you completely figured him out?
“Yeah.”
He remains still, dragging his plastic fork across the now-cold steamed veggies, which have lost their appeal.
How amusing—your knees bump against his, drawing his attention. “Can I help you?” It’s new, the breathy tone you’re using, a whisper of agitation weaving through your calm demeanor. 
“Can you erase my memory?” he shoots back, attempting to smirk through the wave of memories that flash behind his eyelids. When he looks into your eyes, the siren in his head blares.
Your pupils are dilated, blown wide, chest rising and falling rapidly. Sweaty palms that you wipe on your jeans. Tongue darting out to lick your lips. Your heartbeat accelerates, drumming wildly like the fluttering of a hummingbird’s wings.
He hasn’t been with a woman in ages, but he knows how they react when they see something they like—or, in this case, someone.
“Logan.” His name rolls off your tongue once more, tinged with an unmistakable need. The thought of checking his temperature dances through his mind, but the heaviness in his limbs roots him in place. He feels feverish. “I want to help you.”
Oh, no. No, no, no, no—
“What—what are you on, sweetheart?” Get up. Find your keys. Drive her home. “You don’t even know what you’re sayin’.”
Saliva floods his mouth as you rise to your feet, looking down at him from above. Gracefully angelic, and yet— “I know what I’m asking for,” you continue, your voice descending to a low murmur that scratches pleasantly against some dark and remote corner of his head. Then you lower yourself onto his lap, your thighs bracketing his waist. You repeat your question: “Can I help you?”
He’s no longer in control of his actions. His right hand crawls up your knee, palming the fabric of your pants. It’s numbing: a lapful of you, your rich smell, your quickened pulse.
Tempting. So fucking tempted to take you right now, just like this, without the need for words. Your bodies can communicate in a language of their own, one that transcends spoken phrases. 
I want you, he lets you know through the way he gropes your breasts over your shirt, squeezing them together. He’s always been good with his hands. But what the hell am I supposed to do with a sweet thing like you?
His patience teeters on the edge of a precipice. “Tell me what you want.”
“I asked you first.”
“You’re gonna pretend you don’t know the answer?” He thrusts into the air, grinding against your clothed core, and you close your eyes. He’s rock hard beneath you, the bulge in his jeans shockingly obscene, bordering on grotesque. “We both know what I want, but I’m no telepath, baby. Need you to speak up.”
Twisting the locks of hair at his nape, you press your lips to his neck. “I want to make you forget, to focus on this moment. I want you to live in the present, Logan.” A bite on his earlobe sends shivers down his spine, and he grips your hips with a primal growl. “I can do whatever you want. Just tell me. Tell me, and I’ll do it, please.”
Please? He’s spiraling. Please? That’s it—he’s doing it. He’ll grant you your plea, which aligns perfectly with his own desires.
Once his back meets the mattress in his room, you get to work. With delicate precision, you pull down his pants, sliding his boxers off until only his thick thighs and the crown of short curls adorning his cock remain in sight. Your fingers tremble slightly before you wrap them loosely around his length, and it springs to life in your grasp.
Your gaze pierces into his, mirroring the intensity of his own. But something holds you back, prompting you to reach for his hand.
At that moment, it all clicks into place. Logan urges your head down onto him, and he’s welcomed by the slick warmth you provide.
Indeed, he’s very much alive.
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“That’s it. That’s—fuck. There you go.” 
His fingers dig into the mattress, clutching the cotton sheets, stopping himself from thrusting into your mouth. It’s not that he doesn’t want to—God, he does—but tonight, he’s on his best behavior.
He wipes the trail of drool from your chin, smearing it gently across your cheek, his thumb lingering as he watches your nostrils flare with a strained, muffled gasp.
Bringing his thumb to his mouth, he tastes the wetness on it the same way you’re sucking him: greedily, without any trace of mercy.
This proves I’m going to hell, he thinks, enraptured by the sight of his cock disappearing between your parted lips. Straight to hell.
You draw him back to the present, nuzzling your face against his thigh, your humid breath teasing his thick shaft, pulling him from a deep reverie. Your glossy eyes roam, exploring until they find his, and you gift him an authentic smile. Wrecked and blissed out, it’s as if the lights are on, but no one’s truly home.
He would’ve never guessed how much you reveled in sucking cock, radiating enthusiasm with each of your movements.
“Am I doing it okay?” you wonder aloud, hovering over the tip, swirling your tongue around the velvety head. He’s no fool, and neither are you; deep down, you know you’re doing more than just okay. Actually, you’re giving him the best blowjob of his long, long life.
Each panting, airy praise he huffs fuels your eagerness, making you even more receptive to his desires as the words slip past his lips.
“Fuckin’ amazing, honey. Got me so hard, y’see?” His tone is heavily charged with carnality, gripping himself and smacking the tip against your mouth, the wet sound echoing like music to his ears.
He pulses against your tongue, and you seize the opportunity to trace the thin veins scattered along his length. Gulping, with his gaze fixed on you, Logan notices how you’re still wearing your clothes, wiggling your hips against the mattress, rubbing your thighs together to get something in return. “Are you wet?”
Humming against him, you suck in shaky breath. 
“Words.”
“I’m—I’m wet,” you rasp, voice hoarse. You try to guide him into your mouth and fail miserably, because his grip only tightens, stroking himself instead. “Logan,” you keen, stretching your neck in a silent plea, “don’t be mean.”
“Not mean. Just enjoyin’ myself,” he replies, pulling the foreskin back to expose the head, arching his eyebrows. His fingers curl around your chin, drawing your face nearer to his girth, fascinated by how your eyes flutter shut the more you surrender to the pleasure. “C’mon. Be polite.”
Blame him for it—he believes he’ll never get tired of this game.
“Please.” You whisper, returning to your begging while tenderly rolling his balls, staring at him through your lashes. And then you say it again: “Please.”
Your gaze burns a hole through his crumpled heart. He lets you have it, eager to give whatever you may ask him for. You dive back into it, engulfing his length and bobbing your head up and down with fervor. Hushed whines escape your lips, savoring another bead of his precum.
Logan almost loses it as you hollow your cheeks, instinctively cradling the back of your head. “Easy, baby. M’not going anywhere. Take your time.”
Whenever he feels himself approaching that long-awaited release, he forces his mind to conjure thoughts that will stall his impending orgasm.
The water stains from flooding on the walls.
The supermarket list.
The rising price of gas.
The—
“Fuck. Slow down,” he groans, utterly captivated by the way you point your tongue to draw imaginary patterns along his cock, seemingly memorizing every detail. “Don’t go too hard on me, remember?”
You mumble something under your breath, and at first, he can’t quite make it out. “What is it?”
“I said I want you to fuck me.”
Under no circumstances is he surviving this night.
“Really, doll?” Logan seeks the reassurance he desperately needs, fearing that this is all a dream from which he’ll awaken the moment he properly touches you. “You sure you want this old man to fuck you?”
You’re a rambling mess, murmuring Yes, Logan, please, until he maneuvers you to lie on his chest, his glistening cock sliding against your clothes, leaving a trail of dark spots. A whimper dies on your tongue as you brush your lips together, your hot breath enveloping him. “Give me a kiss at least.”
Tilting your head up, he connects his mouth to yours, growling as he detects the dull, sour tang of what must be him. He sucks your bottom lip, hardly aware of what his hands are doing until he shifts your positions, pinning you down.
Logan tugs at your clothes, peeling them away with urgency, his fingers dancing over your nipples until you’re grinding against his thigh, quivering beneath him. With a nip at your damp skin, his eyes flutter open as he studies your expression, casting you a glance that seeks your permission.
A ripple of desire courses through him when you dutifully turn over beneath him, pressing your face further into the pillow. He runs his knuckles along the curve of your ass, his throat going dry as you follow after his touch, arching your body in response.
Unable to resist the temptation any longer, he licks a long, slow stripe up your wet folds, keeping his tongue flat against your clit for a brief moment. Your arms give out and you stumble forward, stuttering as you mewl his name, fully consumed by the feeling.
So he does it again, and again, and again, flicking the sensitive bud, even though you’re already beyond soaked. It’s a pleasure he indulges in simply because he can.
Straight to hell, he thinks, coating his length with your arousal, teasing your entrance while pushing in only the tip. That motion alone is enough to make him draw a trembling breath before he continues, gradually feeding you his cock, inch by inch.
Straight to hell, the voice in his head utters as he buries himself to the hilt deep within your body, his heavy balls resting against your ass.
Like an intruder in your territory, he’s free to do as he pleases, and you let him have his way with you.
If only this moment could stretch into infinity—he longs for time to relent and never draw to a close. 
What will happen after? Will you spend the night? Does he—
“L-Logan,” you mumble, having adjusted to his size. You rock back into him, impaling yourself even more on his cock. “Please, move.”
The pace he establishes is brutal. Your warm, inner walls exquisitely massage him, and the earth as he knows it stops spinning. Fire pools low in his abdomen, his hands holding you by the flesh of your hips to keep you anchored, each thrust driving you closer to the headboard with an intoxicating urgency. 
“You wanted it from the very start, didn’t you?” He doesn’t know if a response will ever come, but these kinds of thoughts are impossible to contain. He’s just a simple man, powerless against the allure of a tight cunt. “Just got in my car and knew it would end like this?”
You roll your eyes at him, silent as you exit the vehicle, closing the door behind you. While fumbling for your keys, four words escape your mouth. Casual yet devastating, they ruin him: “I’ll see you around.” 
His next thrust punches a whine out of your lungs. Even as you clench around him, stuffed and filled to the brim, you beg for him to fuck you harder. He would’ve laughed at you were he able to catch his breath.
With a more deliberate rhythm, he rolls his hips, jackhammering your most sensitive spot, pulling you closer as he wraps an arm around you. When his fingers find your clit, drawing slippery circles, a cry escapes you, and your body merges with the mattress under you.
Your release takes him by surprise, urging him to continue as you reach back, encouraging him to chase his own climax. He knows all too well the struggle of bringing you to this point without succumbing to his pleasure too soon. Your nails graze along his thigh, leaving delicate marks in their wake, and somehow, the passion and bliss he’s been nurturing ignites into a fiery crescendo.
Shortly after, he goes completely rigid inside you, pressing his forehead against your back as he bites down on your shoulder to muffle his groans. His hand squeezes your breast tightly, riding out his high, blood buzzing in his ears, continuing to spill into you. You spam around him, milking him until the last drop of his seed, his release painting your insides with his warmth.
Logan tucks you under his chin as his vision returns to clarity. You nose his jaw, your fingers softly tracing the contours of his beard. He pulls you closer into his chest, gliding his hands up and down your back.
Half a minute of dreadful silence, then: “Can I stay?”
Oh, yes—pillow talk. He’s not great at this either. Despite that, his eyes soften, snapping to your face.
Logan pauses for a moment. “Sure,” he retorts, dragging his fingers along your shoulder blades. He’s a one-word kind of guy. Just perfect.
Tell her you like her. Tell her you don’t want this to be a casual fling. Tell her it’s more than just sex for you.
Or maybe don’t. Get ahold of yourself, will you?
“Logan?” you ask, resting your palm against his heart.
“What is it?”
“I know.”
You do?
Try as he might, he can’t deny it. He might care about you more than he ever realized.
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dividers by: @/cafekitsune thank you!!! <3
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davinawritings · 3 months ago
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Yandere single dad monster that sees you help one of his children once and decides you will be their new mother.
Warnings: Yandere thought/behavior
Yandere monster takes his twin children to the park so they can run around, expend some of their extra energy, and enjoy the nice weather.
He had been raising his daughter and son on his own since their mother walked out when they were still babies. Having two twin monster toddlers running around was a lot of work, but he loved his children endlessly. He would give them anything in the world and do anything to protect them, even going as far as having tiny tracking devices clipped on to them whenever they leave the house.
He had just been kneeling in front of his son to tie his shoelaces after a long afternoon of playing when he heard his daughter cry out for him. He immediately looks around, frantic, before he finally spots her sitting on the stone pathway and holding her knee.
As he stands and grabs his son in his arms, set to make his way over to his little girl, he watches as a human woman stops and kneels in front of his daughter. 
He can’t hear the words you are saying to her, but he relaxes slightly as his daughter's cries quiet down, and she smiles at you. He begins the walk over, keeping his eyes trained on the two of you, his thoughts running wild as his toddler makes her way into your arms. 
It’s almost comical watching the human woman struggle slightly to lift a toddler that must be half her size at least, but he can’t help the feeling pooling in his chest as he watches you calm and soothe her. 
He can tell you startle slightly as he appears behind you, casting a large shadow over your body. You seem to relax somewhat as you see his son in his arms, seemingly putting together the fact that the little girl you hold must be his.
“I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to impose. I saw her trip, and I just wanted to make sure she was okay,” you say, still slightly nervous about the male, who must be at least three feet taller than you. 
He gives you what he hopes is a reassuring and friendly smile as he says, “No need to apologize. I am thankful that you were kind enough to help my daughter. She seems to like you”. 
He watches you smile shyly as his daughter hugs you tighter. You rub the girls back affectionately as you say, “Well, I am just glad she is okay and happy I could help. I’ll pass her back over to you. I was actually on my way to meet my boyfriend for dinner.”  
He makes sure to mask his disapproval of you having a boyfriend with a smile, gently taking his daughter back from your arms. He reaches out one of his large hands and gently squeezes your arm as he thanks you again. You give his daughter and son a small wave before continuing your walk through the park. 
 Pulling out his phone, he checks to ensure the tiny tracking device he slipped onto your coat is working, relaxing when he sees the little mark moving through the park. He looks at his two kids, happy he finally found the perfect mother for them. 
“Alright, little ones, it’s time to go home. We have a lot of work to do to get the house ready for Mommy to move in.” As he checks your location again, he grins, knowing that you will be his.
His human, his wife, and the mother of his children.
❤️💕🖤🖤💕❤️
Let me know if you guys would like to read more on this! Also if so, do you like me keeping it as a general monster or do you want it to be a specific monster?
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grughoul · 10 months ago
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The Artist and the Flower
Pairings: Benedict bridgerton x f!reader
MDNI/NSFW
Sexpollen
Masterlist
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Summary: A mysterious flower brought back from Colin's travels put you and Benedict in a curious predicament. Resulting in sex and other things.
Word count: 4.9k
Warnings: sexpollen, friends to lovers, passionate sex, pinv sex, oral sex (female recieving), rough sex (blink and you'll miss it), choking, praise, pet names (princess, girl, woman, lady.), "I love you", mating-press, missionary, creampie. (Think that's all)
AN: not yet proofread! Hope you guys enjoy!
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Approaching footsteps roused my mind, they thudded dully against wooden floorboards–pausing only to whisper mutely, 'This is not funny. Where are you?'
I tried to focus on my breathing, fingers working sluggishly as they wiped themselves clean against the bottom hem of my dress.
'Woman!' The voice cane shrill and urgent this time, ringing terribly in my ear. The sounds of it's accompanying steps diminished as they hurried past my position on the floor, all dizzy on my hands and knees.
'Benedict!' I hissed. The bright interior blurring as I made to stand up, legs wobbly beneath the unsteady weight of my torso.
There was a muffled squeak through the wall, shoes whirling against polished wood. Indicating him turning on his heel. 'Most, esteemed woman?' He tried again, punctuating the words as he half joked, half didn't. Simply hopeful hollow flattery would spur me into giving further clues to my whereabouts.
'Get in here at once!' I threw my finger toward the floor as if he could see me do it, successfully conveying the sense of urgency. But there was a wall between us, and my world suddenly spun. I staggered a few steps until I caught myself on the nearest wall. The window I'd opened wasn't doing much except chill my damp skin with the occasional draft.
'Ah–' he sighed and pushed the door open. '–godess. . .' There was a mocking tone to the word and a satisfied grin on his lips, but it quickly fell as his eyes scoured over my appearance, and utter devastation replaced it.
With a few last steps, he darted toward the door that separated us, and four quaint knocks rapped aginst it. I gritted my teeth, annoyance taking over the hand. 'Yes, come on in.' Still, I willed my voice into the least irritable tone I could muster. This was not his fault, after all.
I wiped my forehead free of the beading sweat, and it too, began to tingle just like my fingertips had–to my horror, I realised–I'd probably just added more of whatever that dust was into my system. Now seeping through my skin and diluting my blood, impairing my usually keen senses with whatever toxins it provided.
He hurried to my side in big, worried strides to lay and arm around my back, steadying me when I couldn't steady myself. 'Wha-' He couldn't even form a word of surprise, his jaw slack as he gestured with his free hand to my dishevelled appearance. 'Why are you in Colins room? In this, state?' He quickly added. If I wasn't mistaken, which I might very well have been considering I didn't have full use of my mind. But, I could almost detect jealousy in his tone.
He would get the wrong idea, about Colin. 'Well,' I tried being nonchalant, tried to act like the places he made contact with my skin did not burn for him. I screwed my eyes shut and pulled all my focus into an answer. 'The wine got to my head, and I realised,' My words came out sluthered and slow. 'I hadn't been in here before, and. . .' My head began nodding of its own accord, already finding my unsaid words agreeable. '. . .it had to be remedied.'
'Of course, of course it did.' Benedict sighed, his shoulders shrugging in exasperation as he began looking around, presumably to find something for me to sit on, but his eyes fastened on something else instead. I cringed, for his eyes darted from the open rucksack, then back to me. The look he gave me was nothing but disapproving. But goodness, he was stading so close. His breaths warm against my cheek and mildly stained by alcoholic bevrages, much like mine must've been. But oh, the fire in his eyes gave me quite a start, not that I was fearful of it. In fact, I found the opposite to be true. It almost felt as if I had abaorbed it, and it traveled downward. . . 'You went through his belongings?'
My mind froze, the newfound aching in my body too distracting. 'I. . .' I felt my eyes narrow and forehead furrow, my dull reflexes attempting a poor pretence of thoughts. 'I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry. But there was this box, with some strange flower inside. . .' I trailed off. An amused, tipsy smile making it's way onto my face as I noted his incredulous expression.
His hands slid down my arm, and the sensation traveled straight to my core. Causing the need to stifle a moan arise.
'And you thought it a good idea to touch a foreign plant of which you know nothing of?' He spoke fast, too fast for me to keep up. Especially when goosebumps ran rampid in the wake of his touch, when my core ached for him to continue, to push his body further into mine. My heart beat too fast, his hand too close to the pulse point on my wrist.
My hand found it's way beneath his jaw, a wide grin splaying across my face. 'Wine will do that to a gentlewoman.' I explained, sluthering slightly. But feeling no more explanation to be necessary.
He screwed his eyes shut and stood completley still for a moment, I could almost see the thoughts swirling in the crammed space of his mind. 'Well,' he looked at me once again, searching my eyes. 'What gentleman would I be to leave a woman in need to her own devices?' He opened the box and grabbed the flower without hesitation, feeling its vevelty petals, rubbing the dust between his fingertips and then- tasted it.
Currents of static electricity zapped beneath my chest, spreading throughout me body. Everything happened so fast. And all I could do was watch, very intently, as the pads of his middle- and index finger made contact with his tongue, swiping clean against it. Lips then closing around them to suck whatever remained off. The heat building in my body was nothing short of sinful, and the thoughts–my thoughts–were even worse.
'Let's go.'
'Pardon?' Precious air left my lungs, leaving me breathless.
'Dinner with the Bridgertons.'
'I figured it to be out of the question.' My expression confounded.
'Colin is already downstairs, and we must find out what exactly that plant is-' He stopped. Eyes all of a sudden distant as they grazed over my features, landing on my lips. He still held my wrist, stroking the inside with gentle circles.
'Ben?' It was summer in the country, this much I knew. But surely, the temperature could not rise as fast as it just did. Sweat was pooling at my back, beneath my bust. And I began to wish, that he would simply. . . Lick-
'We must go.' I declared, clearing my throat. Hoping the words would snap us out of our trance.
'Right, of course.' He nodded, a blush sweeping across his cheeks. His eyes suddenly keen to examine the floor. But he kept his han his hand on the small of my back, urging me down the halls of the big house. Ocassionally, he'd scrunch the fabric of my dress, feeling the flexing of my back beneath the tips of his fingers. It pulled my attention to the sensitivity of my skin, and the pleasure his small, simple action gave me.
The next thing I knew, I was being helped into a chair at the center of the dining table. Benedict laid a hand on my shoulder that was meant to be reassuring, but it had an impact much more wicked on me. He took the seat across from me, and oh so conveniently placed himself next to Colin. Conversation grew heavy as Violet became quite inquisitive with her children. Eloise's debut, Anthony's proposal plans, and who he was planning on the recieving end. I would usually have been elbow deep in the gossip and drama, but my mind was elsewhere, muddled or perhaps tainted, as I couldn't focus on much of anything. Their voices grew sharp in my ears, the candlelight too bright for my eyes.
Ben leaned in to whisper in Colin's ear, who's eyes grew wide. Looking at me with growing worry, in fact, he almost looked like he would be sick.
I could understand why. Slouched in my seat, looking generally ill and doing more drinking than eating. Which was most likely only adding to the growing problem rather than subduing it. But oh, was he handsome. Flushed, he combed a hand through his hair. Slicking it with the dampness from his forehead, his eyes darting over my figure every now and then. Whatever that flower was, it seemed to be getting to him too. Colin opened his mouth to answer Ben.
'How are you dear, you look a little I'll.' Violet asked with genuine worry, interrupting the boys hushed conversation and turned them onto me with anxious eyes.
'I'm well.' I smiled, feeling as though my own voice was not mine.
Ben's eyes creased, a grin spreading over his lips, and then began giggling.
The conversations cut, and everyone stared at him. 'Are you quite alright, dear?' Violets eyes were full of concern, now placed upon him instead. I didn't yet know if it was warranted or not. But I was glad he pulled any lingering eyes from my current state.
'I apologise.' The words were strained as he pushed them out between more fluttering giggles, leading him to cover his blushing face. 'Her lady just told me something stunningly funny, that is all.' Benedict gestured to me, his eyes glinting with mischief. That little-
'Truly?' Violet smiled expectantly, something like understanding in her eyes. That cunning look she always gave her children when she knew something they didn't. Perhaps she'd taken my demeanour as that of a girl with a hidden crush, only anxious under the gaze of her love. She wouldn't be entirely wrong. Long had I known the Bridgertons, and even longer had I liked Ben.
I cleared my throat, blinking away the haze in my eyes. 'I'm uncertain of its propriety. . .' I tried to redirect, a drop of sweat sliding down my temple as I nervously glanced around at the members of the family. And ufortunately, I felt a bubbling up inside my chest, a composition of my own laughter. 'It was, uhm. . .' I paused, working hard to keep a smile from creeping onto my lips. Trying desperate to think of something to say. Anything, really.
'Well, let's hear it.' Anthony said with a grin, and the rest of the table agreed. Eloise being little more than a heap of snickers, Colin seeming to be the only one who gained little to no amusement from the situation.
Watching my struggles and deeming them incredibly funny, Benedicts giggles evovled and he burst out laughing. I was second behind him, but the table quickly joined in with a chorus of incredulous chuckles and wild looks of incomprehension. 'What is the matter with you two?' Eloise asked, her eyes watery as she clutched stomache.
We locked eyes, Ben and I. Both now scorching, judging from the trickling sweat on his neck and the tickling down my back. Warmth spread throughout my chest, and something fluttered in my stumache. Something was terribly wrong with the flower for me to feel so deeply, so suddenly.
Colin took his chance when Benedict had calmed himself, leaning in to whisper in his ear. Ben's face offered an array of reactions ti every word spoken. Confusion, surprise, anger. It was enough for me to conclude that something was not right, and that was when his eyes went wide. 'Then why would you not keep a lock on it, brother?' He shouted, his voice much louder than anticipated. Worry grew in me as I carefully studied their expressions, replacing all my previous feelings of joy. Colin whispered again, his lips moving eratically as he shook his head, clearly distressed and displeased. Ben's eyes locked on mine a second time, again, they were full of fire. However, something told me it was not of the same sort I'd seen earlier today, this was not anger. No, it was something else entierly. 'Pardon us, drar family. But the lady and I must be excused.' He claimed suddenly, turning to his mother and Anthony. 'We have urgent business that need tending to.'
'–my parents estate. . .' I cut in, sensing the graveness behind his words. It cant be good if his mood had changed so quickly. The family gave me an odd look, and I scrambled further, not wishing for them to get the wrong impression. 'The art- the art in their estate. We had a Lively discussion before dinner. . . Hence the art. Because he's an artist.' I paused my rambling lips, they did me more bad than good. I stood hastily, the rich pulsing around me as I did so, almost knocking the chair to the floor. I smoothed my dress out and exited the diningroom with an "excuse me" and a unecessary curtsy.
Rushing down hallways, I brushed my hand along the wall for support. Benedict's footsteps only a pace behind my own. He placed a hand on my hip, to brace me or simply because he wanted to fell me, I did not know.
Stopping outside my rooms, I urged him to explain. 'Apparently,' he began, rubbing the nape of his neck. I knew that tell. 'It's not, good news. . .'
I leaned back against the doorframe, my body drenched in sweat. The wafting of my fan doing nothing to help. 'Benedict Bridgerton, tell me immediately.' I growled.
'Its an aphrodesiac. It means-'
I expelled a strained breath. 'I know what it means, Ben. Continue.' The air blew against the exposed skin of of my chest, cooking it effectively.
Benedict hesitated, none of this was proper. Yet, his eyes lingered on the growing goosebumps over my breasts. His gaze sliding to my throat, watching it bob as I swallowed a big breath of air. 'We are friends Ben, discussing such things educationally does not betray social rules.' I tried to convince us both.
He nodded absentmindedly, his eyes snapping back to mine with a newfound reverence. He himself staggering as his balance perception had been knocked down a peg. It was really starting to get to him, so I grabbed his jacket to steady him. 'Its pollen is poisonous in large amounts, If consumed and left untreated, lethal.'
I swallowed again, the world spinning as my mind fumbled his words, turning them over and over in my head. 'Considering the side-effects,' I gestured with the fan between the two of us. 'I gather we have large amounts in our blood.'
To this he nodded, the uncertainty in his eyes replaced with a wicked smile spreading across his lips. 'Clever girl.'
His praise felt like a punch to the gut. Although not knocing the air out of me, it did leave me in pain. 'And how do we cure it?' I tried to distract myself, my breathing was growing uneven, my thoughts a haze. And Benedict Bridgerton, looking more and more like something I'd like to devour.
His hand braced against the doorframe above my head ti stabilise him, his tall frame nkw looming over me, our faces stopping only a few inches appart. 'By working it out of our systems, by executing certain activities,' he murmured, studying me under hodded eyes and parted lips. 'The burning needs to be sated. If not, it will develop into fever, the throat will close and-'
'Alright, that's quite enough.' I gestured for him to stop. My lip trembling, my body burning as I looked at him through my lashes. 'What exactly are these activities?' I had a feeling, a hunch, where this was going.
'You must forgive my crudeness.' He took my hands in his free one, managing to wrap his considerably larger one around both of mine. 'By love making.' He was even closer now, his nose touching my cheekbone as he whispered in my ear. 'Sex.' His breaths were ragged, on edge. His tongue darting out to wet his lips. He stopped himself, closing his eyes. His forehead lulling against mine. Most likely taming himself jusy like I had to, trying not to think of the multiple worst case scenarios.
'We cannot stay out here, somebody will see us.' I warned, my nose rubbing against his. My body so taunt, tense, it needed desperate release. My spine was still recovering from that word. It had shaped a ball of anticipation in the pit of my stumache. It could ruin me, my prospects. I only just debuted. But- sex. . . That was all I wanted in this moment, and I wanted it with this man.
I looked him in the eyes and opened the door to my bedchamber. 'I love a tragedy, an epic story of true love ending in death.' I whispered, moving my hands around his. 'But we are not lovers.' Taking a few steps back, I led him inside. 'So, lets make this count.' He followed me willingly, his eyes loyal and round like a puppy's as he gazed at me with adoration. And the door fell shut behind him.
'What if we were?' His voice was low and burdened with lust. One hand coming to stroke a few strands of hair from my cheek.
I blinked, barely comprehending his touch. 'We shall not perish, Benedict. I refuse.'
'No, but we could love.'
'What?' My brows furrowed.
'Perhaps, you could find it in your heart to love me, as I have always loved you.' He paused. The next words were heavy as they hung from the tip of his tounge. 'Let me make love to you.' His voice vibrating from the strain of on his chest. He took a step closer, his chest pressing flush against mine. 'Let me teach you.' His voice was pleading, and I had to crane my neck to keep his eye contact. 'Marry me. . .' His hands cupped my face. '. . .marry me.' he leaned in, whispering the words against my lips.
I nodded slowly. 'Teach me.' And our lips clashed together.
Years worth of structural limitations evaporated, society and politics a thing of the past as Benedict raised my skirt, found purchase under my thighs and pulled me into his embrace. His skilled tongue finding its way into my mouth with ease.
He walked us backward, gently laying me down on my bed despite the urgency of our lust. 'What do you need?' He asked through muffled moans, his lips busy with mine. I could not think, nothing about my being would work with me. 'Talk to me, what do you need?' He breathed, voice almost a whimper as his hands squeezed my hips, urging me to answer.
'You,' I managed. 'I need you.' I could feel him smile against my lips.
'Do you trust me, love?'
'Always.'
He pushed off me, hooked his hands under my knees and pulled me to the edge of the bed.
Then kneeled.
Benedict, the man that he is, stood on his knees before me. Between my legs, he smiled a wicked smile. My body was limp in his touch, completely at his disposal. The aching cravings of my core did not care what he did, as long as it was he who did it.
His hands dove under the hem of my skirt, tracing my legs upward, hitching the fabric on his wrists. He stopped above my knees, kneeding them thoughtfully as his eyes searched mine. It took my mind a second to wrap around his request, it was already so painfully clear to me that I would agree at any given moment of our time together that I could not fathom him wanting further confirmation. 'Yes. . . Please.'
He wasted no time. He was hungry. He flipped the skirt over my abdomen and got to work. Immidietly lowering himself onto my mound, lipping a stripe from my core to my clit and he moaned.
A shuddering whimper left me, if it was from his reaction or the sensation of his tongue I would never know. Proudly, he wrapped his lips around me clit and vegan sucking, licking and nipping. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before, my fingers could never compete with his expertise. My body wriggled involuntairly, compelling him to hold my hips down with one hand, and taking it as a sign to slide the other along the inside of my thigh and burry a finger inside me, pumling it in an out.
I cried out, covering my mouth as my free hand dove into his hair. Pulling and scratching, I urged him to continue. But somewhere inside me, worry built. What about him? My eyes glanced over the still beading sweat on his forehead, afraid it might be the fever Ben had spoken of. 'What about you?' I whimpered, stroking his hair in a gentler fashion as he continued his contrasting assault on my mound.
'What about me?' He moaned, voice muffled by my skin and shrugged, sliding another finger inside me. His eyes studying my reaction, the way my body moved. I cried out again, biting my lip this time to stifle it as my other hand entwined with the one he held at my hip.
'Is it enough for you?' The words were expelled on an exhale, my voice pitched from continously pleasure, but beneath there was worry. And he noticed.
He chuckled breathely against my clit. 'I do not care about me.' His eyes met mine, and a strike of lighting shot through me, a whimper escaping me with furrowed brows. And he continued with a groan. 'Giving you pleasure is all I need.' And added a third finger, curling them inside me. Their size was admirable, especially as they hit some special spot inside me.
My back arched and a tidal wave of pleasure rolled over me, the pressure that'd been builing in my stumache finally released.
He watched me intently. 'Let me hear you.' He requested, continuing to move his fingers as he helped me through my orgasm, palming himself through his pants with his free hand. I obliged him. A string of curses unbefitting of a lady left my lips in whimpers.
'It takes talent to make such vulgar words sound pretty.' He licked another stripe along my folds, gathering my orgasm on his tongue and swallowed greedily. A strained grunt left him, and he collapsed into my lap, a shiver running through his body. My hand left his to brace myself on my forearm, gathering a better view of him as I combed my hand through his hair soothingly, and that's when I noticed the wet spot on his pants. I gasped. 'It was truly enough for you?' I ovserved him in awe, the aching beginning to roar inside me yet again.
'I told you,' He panted, sucking his fingers clean between his attempts to catch his breath and tilted his head to look up at me. Such a sinful act embedded so innocently. 'You are enough for me, pretty girl.' Now it was not only mor core which ached, but my heart also. Still on his knees, he let himself regenerate in my lap whilst his adoring eyes romaed my face. A show of devotion, of resignation, of love.
I moved to sit, his head still in my lap as he circled his arms around my waist, gaze still locked on mine. 'I love you.' I whispered, brushing the damp hair from his forehead.
His eyes softened impossibly more. 'I've always, always been in love with you. Since the first week of our meeting.'
My chest ached. 'Why have you never told me so?'
'Throwing our friendship away based on chance was not odds I was willing to risk.' He hugged me tighter, then stood up. 'But im afraid, that were not out of the woods yet.' He said, un buttoning his shirt and pants. 'Im feeling quite feverish.' His eyes glistened with mischief, and let the coat fall from his shoulders.
'If you want me again, you need only say so.' I smiled, now it was my time to look up at him with loving eyes.
'I want you again.' He removed his shirt, and I hade to collect my breath for a second. 'Stand, my love. We will do this properly.' He took my hands and helped me to my feet, turned me around and undid my dress and corset. Again, It made me realise just how much experience he had.
When I stood in only my chemise, feeling naked and vunerable. He stood in only his breeches. Nothing my nervous state, he said. 'We can leave it on, love.' Searching my eyes.
But I shook my head, if I was to have all of him, he was to have all of me. 'Please.' I whispered, motioning for him to take it off me. And he did, it slid down my body easily. Gradually exposing every inch of skin only me and most likely my maids had seen.
He stood struck for a moment, unmoving, unspeaking. Until- 'I do not deserve you.' He awed, 'Beautiful, beautiful woman.' Reaching his hand out to stroke my biceps, my abdomen, eyes searching mine before they traveled further up.
'You do, if any man ever was to. It would be you.' I promised him, and at this he blushed. I grabbed his hand and laid it atop my breast. With a groan, he stepped closer. His free hand cupping my face as the other massaged my breast, and his lips met mine. Softly, his hand slid around my back, guiding me back knto the bed, laying me carefully down on the pillows. 'Princess.' He breathed, sat back and removed his breeches. I did not have time to fawn over his size until he was on me again. Hooking my leg on his knee, he spread it wide. Bracing on a forearm, his face was inches from mine as he lowers himself on top of me. His thick length grazing my clit. Sensitive and burning, still–I noticed. The polled had yet to leave our system, perhaps it deadliness had subdued, but it's symptoms were yet in full effect.
Benedict nuzzled my cheek. 'Tell me what you want.' He whispered in my ear.
'You, all of you.'
'Be more specific, dearest.'
I swallowed, my breathing growing heavier. 'Sex.' I murmured, and his lips formed a smiled against my jaw. 'I want sex.'
'I would want nothing more than to give it to you.' He breathed, and lined himself up with my entrance. Then pushed himself in, gently, but consistently. My whimpered only spurring him on, not stopping until he reached the hilt. He'd done his job well, since I easily adjusted around him. 'Good girl.' He whispered, tracing kisses from my lips to my neck. 'Taking me so well.'
I ached, arching my back, I needed more. My skin was growing more and more sensitive. 'Please, Ben. . .'
That was all he needed to hear. He pulled out and thrusted into me again, moving my entire body with each stroke and it was like nothing I've ever felt before. 'Holy-' I interrupted myself with a moan.
He chuckled, but truthfully it was more of a moan. 'Feel so good.' He murmured against my skin, kissing the tender spot between my shoulder and throat. 'Like I imagined.'
Pause. He's thought of me? In this way? With. . . women, by himself?
'When, tell me when.'
'Always. I thinn of you when I lay with other women, I think of you when I touch myself.' His hand ran down my body, squeezing my breast as he drove himself deeper. And I had to wonder–were those acts specific details of his dreams, desires? 'You occupy my mind, always.' He said quite breathlessly.
'Show me, show me how you want me.'
He pulled out if me, hooked my legs over his shoulders and thrusted back in. Every rut of his hips hitting that sweet spot inside me, wrecking me over and over again. Strained breaths against my throat became the outcome of his efforts, as the power behind each thrust pushed me deeper into the mattress. 'What else, show me what else. I'm yours.' I moaned.
His lips found mine, and his hand my throat. Gently, he enveloped it. Softly, he squeezed. 'Say it again.' His lips murmured against mine, kissing them between every breath he labored.
'I'm yours.' I whispered, and he groaned. A particularly forcefull thrust was made into me. He was never rough in anything he did, but he put his back into it. Always the gentleman, never the brute. I've never been happier for a man to be so contrasting.
The burning, the aching, the pressure. It was all towering, waiting to be pushed over at any second. 'Mine,' he moaned. 'My love.' His pace quickened and ruts hardened. He was as close as I was. 'I love you. . .' He whimpered and spilled himself inside of me. And I came a second later, irregular thrusts carrying me through my blinding orgasm. 'I love you.' He told me over and over again as he let my legs fall to his sides, and collapsed onto my smaller figure. With his head on my chest, I held him. 'I love you too.'
'Marry me, then.'
'Give me a ring, then.' I giggled. He made to stand up, to slither out of my embrace. 'Not now!'
'Tomorrow, then?' He laid back down, this time wrapping his arms around me and pulled me close.
'Tomorrow, then.' I confirmed. Id never been so happy as in that moment.
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