#mostly just. i need to remind myself that these exist so i can finish some of them. . . .

[glstnbrry]

realllly big wip dump (and some stuff that will never get finished .)

[wiktorianala]

My oc's + characters they were based of in one way or another

I got bored of sewing, maybe gonna continue on weekend, but anyway i decided that it's time to make smthng more with Bouney 'n Handy so there's a lil drawings and if someone is interested in me yapping about them, story, 'n other stuffs then click here \/

Oki, so I'll start with at which point they were based of well, Salad and Madotsuki. Starting from Handy because this will take me less time. She was created waaay later, at moment when I wanted to start working on comic, so I had to make second character just so Bouney wouldn't be only one, well i wanted to make her an object head of some kind to match with the fact that Bouney's head was created out of rotated eye. It is not anymore but that was honestly how I created this little freak. Fine but coming back to topic I wanted to give her some kind of object, and I'm honestly shit when it come to making any decisions myself, so with my friend we just looked throught my entire sketchbook and we found drawing of Madotsuki with hand palm effect (because I was pretty much fixated over this game and bigger part of sketchbook had Yume Nikki drawings), so we just picked hand. Now, with Bouney it's longer story, just like I said, I created him way earlier, so first thing he got after Salad were simple plain clothes 'cuz I'm layzy and absolutelly didn't wanted to bother with drawing anything complicated over and over again (and I picked Salad, because once again, yes it was my fixation at that time, and I want to remind that thos are two different times btw). So at the point when I wanted to start making thos comics and when I already had character designs I had to give them personalities and story, and the story... it was pretty different from what it is now. First vershion of it was too about a empty world and all thos stuffs, this didn't change, but main difference was the fact that in earlier ver Bouney was only living creature in this world. Handy was more of some kind of imaginary friend that appeared in his head due to loneliness there. (this a bit was based out of Salad too, because, ya know, empty weird world, clearly not very sane main creature character 'n thos stuffs) Plot mostly was just like in current vershion pretty goofy 'n just some "everyday stuffs", but at some points it was getting pretty heavy and sad. AND YES I KNOW THAT IT SOUNDED MUCH MORE INTERESTING, honestly at some point even I liked it more in this way, but there were two main reasons why I changed it. First one, fact that Handy wasn't really a physical person caused some technical writing issues that maybe been not that hard to fix, but as once already I said- I'm layzy, so I didn't wanted to be bothered by them. And now second and honestly more important reason (at least for me), it was time when I was making 2nd re-write of "Fragments of Sanity" plot (rn I'm working on 3rd, and I hope last one, because I want to finally make it into comic too) and I mean first version of it was pretty, well sad (I can't really find better word for it), but on second version? Oh boy, let me tell ya this shit is even worse (and main reason for this is probably because I dunno when but Mike ended up being at least in his personality and behavior (not by plot) a bit of self insert). So I didn't really wanted both of my projects to be like that, and I wantd at least one of them to be one with wich I could more goof around, so yeah, I've changed it. Well I guess that's all I wanted to say? I dunno. I know that in 95% no one is about to read this, but anyway I feel at least better when I can yap somewhere about some certain stuffs, and hey, ain't that for what blogs even exist? For people to yap, and do stuffs they like? Damn after writing for such a long time about them I guess I have a need rn to finish this god damned 3rd chapter. So yeah, now that's all.

[evil-feather]

Uhm Perekoo wip that I made like idk 5 years ago?? Uhm I originally wrote this with an OC of mine (because at this point I didn't know Isabel yet...or she hadn't even existed? Idk), so if some things are out of character huh🤷🏼‍♀️ and also keep in mind that this was written by a 16 year old Fay so the phrasing might be... questionable

Szenario:

Okay so I know it sounds pretty weird and it’s probably something that the Ymbrynes would never do that because it would be too dangerous to bring their kids all to the same place and leave their loop for one day plus every Ymbryne has to rest her loop at different times during one day but anyways.

What if the Ymbrynes would do some kind of “festival” every 50 years to mourn the dead but also celebrate the new Ymbrynes who finished their education.

All Ymbrynes are coming and they are taking their kids with them. It’s a day of celebration and making new friends with people from other loops.

Miss Aideen Noa Redkite is my own character. I did a character sheet thingy for her here on Tumblr ages ago but for now, the only information that you need is the obvious one, that she is an Ymbryne.

-----

When they arrived, the room was filled with loud talking and laughter. Music was playing softly in the background.

Right before entering the big hall, Miss Peregrine turned to her children with a stern expression.

“Before we go in, I expect from all of you to behave and be polite. I don’t want any complaints later; did I make myself clear?”

Everyone nodded quickly because they didn’t want to wait any longer. It was their first Ymbryne festival after all and they were very nervous and excited to see it.

“Good, then you can go and have fun,” she said and stepped out of the way.

Alma looked after them when they entered the hall and began to disappear in the crowd of other children and Ymbrynes.

She already felt bad for letting them out of her sign in a room that was mostly filled with strangers and she had to remind herself that there were so many Ymbrynes around and no potential danger.

A female voice pulled her out of her thoughts:

“So are you ready?”

She hadn't even noticed that while all of her kids had flocked inside, Isabel was still hadn't left her side.

But the older woman didn't really wait for an answer and just walked past her to enter the big hall. When she looked back at her Alma nodded slowly and followed her.

It seems that the majority had already arrived but however she couldn’t spot Miss Wren nor Miss Redkite.

She followed Isabel who had started to go through the crowd while she was always looking back to Alma, to make sure that she could follow her.

Isabel stopped when they reached a small table on the other side of the hall.

“Is it okay here? I thought it isn’t completely in the centre of everyone’s attention, but you can still see the stage. I mean if you want to go somewhere else then we can go there too, if you even want my company. I can also leave you alone if you want some space…,” Miss Cuckoo began to stutter, something that was rather untypical for her.

“Izzy,” Miss Peregrine interrupted her, and she looked up to meet Alma’s eyes. To her relief, Alma was smiling at her.

“It is a good place, thank you. Oh, and I quite enjoy your company and you should know that by now."

That made the other woman smile too.

“Okay, good. Do you want something to drink or anything else?” she asked.

Alma looked at her, narrowing her eyes slightly.

“Well, I doubt that they have tea here.”

Isabel shrugged and disappeared in the crowd again, leaving Alma to stand at the table alone.

Alma sighed, looking at the place where the older woman just stood some seconds ago.

Something was different with her, but she couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

Maybe it was the fact that she hadn't been at the festival since she was a little kid but on the other hand, it hadn’t bothered her much to be at the festival back then so why should it now?

Her thoughts drifted away so that she didn’t notice an excited redhead who was making her way to the table. She was smiling brightly as the red curls framing her face jumped up and down with every step.

“Heyyy!”the said redhead exclaimed, when she had reached Miss Peregrine.

“Good evening Aideen,” she replied but she seemed to be somewhere in her thoughts.

“Are you alright?” Miss Redkite asked. The excitement that had been in her eyes some seconds ago had turned into worry.

It was when Alma finally looked up and wanted to answer her question when a third woman arrived at the table. Alma's face lit up a bit when she saw the older women and the other ymbrynes eyes seemed to glisten as well.

“Alma, Aideen it is wonderful to see you two here,” the older woman greeted them.

“I’m glad to see you here too, Esmerelda,” Miss Peregrine greeted her, and Miss Redkite nodded in agreement.

“I do hope that you two and your children will have a nice evening today. It is your first Ymbryne festival for years after all.”

“I’m sure it will be lovely, yes,” Aideen replied, and Miss Peregrine was happy that she didn’t have to answer the question.

She had never been a big fan of parties and festivals, but she didn’t want to ruin the fun for the others either.

“Oh, I see Isabel is here too!” Miss Avocet said and smiled into the direction of the silver haired Ymbryne. She was just coming back with two cups in her hands.

“Esmerelda, how lovely to finally see you again!”Isabel smiled, putting the cups down on the table.

“Well then, I’ll leave you three alone again. I just wanted to come and greet you,” Miss Avocet said and with these words, she left to greet the Ymbryne that just arrived.

“Yeah well, I think I will leave you too...and get something to drink,” Aideen said and waved shortly, “see you two around.”

Miss Cuckoo looked after them, then her confused gaze wandered to Alma.

“Uhm…did everyone just leave because of me or?” Alma just raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

“Maybe they are jealous that they didn’t get something to drink.”

Isabel rolled her eyes.

“Sure, that’s going to be it...oh, and by the way they did have tea!”she said and held one of the cups out to Alma.

“Really?” she said, surprised,” thank you!”

For a moment they stood there in silence sipping their drinks but only until a little boy caught their attention.

He was standing maybe 5 meters away from them and looked curious up to them until Isabel waved him.

“Hey, don’t worry, we don’t bite,” she laughed slightly because the boy seemed a little scared now that he got caught staring.

But the Ymbrynes words somehow seemed to calm him down and slowly he took some steps forward to their table.

“I know who you are,” the little boy finally said while pointing at Miss Peregrine.

The raven-haired woman raised an eyebrow and tried not to instruct him that polite people did not point at others.

“Yes?” she simply answered.

“Yeah! You are Miss Peregrine, right? Known to be the youngest Ymbryne?” the boy said excitedly.

“I guess that is me, yes,” she then replied after a short while, ”and may I know your name?”

“My name is Ian Franklin.”

“Delighted to meet you,” Alma said and shook his small hand.

The boy's gaze wandered to the other Ymbryne who had stood there without saying a word.

But Ian didn’t bother to ask for for name because his curious mind has already switched to the next topic.

“Are you two married?” he asked, looking from Miss Cuckoo to Miss Peregrine.

Isabel's smile dropped and Alma's eyes widened.

“No, no we are just old friends”, the younger woman managed to get out, clearly uncomfortable with the question.

But Ian didn’t seem to notice because he just shrugged.

“Okayy, well you two seem like you are.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint,” Isabel said with a slightly forced smile.

She didn’t quite know if she should be happy about the assumption of the boy or embarrassed, but what she knew is that this situation got very awkward and she just hoped that this wouldn’t mean that the conversations between Alma and her were about to be this awkward the whole evening.

----

Uhm yeah, have this I guess?😂😭 I will never finish this but huh🤷🏼‍♀️

It just heavily reminded me of the last story that you posted @peculiar-lesbian :)

[pikespendragon67]

Pikes Summer Check-Up 2024 Edition

Started to go “hm I still have to unlearn the don’t speak unless spoken to mindset that I have” but remembered I could do a checkup post instead!

Current life updates:

Right now I’m saving up for conventions happening this August, though plushie collecting & Steam summer sales miiiight have interfered. Whoops. (…and I wonder if I should get back to my FE Cipher card collection). My next big-ish trip is visiting my middle school best friend with another high school friend. I’m also hoping for my next big trip this year to be Boston in late September to meet with a friend. After that, it should be a trip with my middle school best friend to a farm, something Halloween related with IRL friends depending on what they want to do, no clue for November, and seeing relatives for New Year’s.

Gonna see if I can reorganize my closet since everything in my room got reassembled when we got new flooring. Feels cluttered as a result. Hopefully my back won’t kill me.

Might have jury duty next week too OTL

What I’m watching:

Current schedule for watching anime is as follows:

Mondays - Digimon rewatch along with Spice & Wolf 2024. I really like Lawrence and Holo’s banter. For Digimon I just got to where Mimi obtains her Crest. Man adult me really just became Joe, huh.

Tuesdays are filler at the moment since I need to wait for Pokemon Horizons to update on Nettingtonflix (I watch the dub) and I finished Kakuriyo. Part 2 of Kakuriyo was…eh, I guess? I noticed stiff animation a lot and I didn’t really get the sense of drama/urgency that I was expecting. Might throw in some more Digimon episodes until Horizons updates. (I’m liking it so far, though it’s not something I’d shout to the heavens about)

Wednesdays - Baccano finally. I might need to rewatch some parts because they retell events from different perspectives, but I see repeats and get confused if I already watched the episode or not because of that.

Thursdays - Moribito. I’ve heard this show was good, though I think I need to rewatch this one as well since I miss important info when something dramatic’s not happening. The curse of having a show as background noise during your lunch break at work.

Fridays - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure rewatch. Friends were talking about watching it so it got me interested in rewatching once more. I’m still on Phantom Blood but I’m excited for the rewatch until I hit Stardust Crusaders. Unfortunately it’s not my favorite part and it’s the longest.

Saturdays - My Hero Academia and Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin. I’m gonna see if I end up liking Sakuna more as an anime or as a game. As for Hero Academia, I’m really liking how this current season’s hyping up the finale. And with the manga ending next month, I kind of hope Vigilantes can be animated

Sundays - Tower of God season 2 and My Deer Friend Nokotan. Nokotan kind of reminds me of Lucky Star, but I’m hoping the shitposts aren’t just making fun Koshitan. Tower of God season 2 looks pretty promising. Though I lament that God of High School had to rush everything into 1 season.

I’m getting hyped for TYBW part 3 subconsciously and also hope the light novels get covered.

In terms of stuff on Youtube, it’s mostly let’s plays for games that I want to see if I want to play them myself. I appreciate that SMT 5 Vengeance fleshed out certain characters more, but damn. I also finished watching the ProZD Plays Ace Attorney 2. Franziska is wonderful, I wish she was in a different game. I liked case 2 the most in spite of Hotti’s mere existence.

What I’m Playing:

Stopped TTYD in the middle of chapter 6 since I didn’t want to deal with the turning platform section. So now it’s back to 428 Shibuya Scramble. I’m in the 3 PM section of the game now and things are getting spicy. So far my rankings of the routes are Tama > Minorikawa > Osawa/Achi > Kano.

I also have quite a few fighting games in my Steam library now! I still only button mash, but I’ve been playing with some folks in the Granblue community and my friend Merlin. My “don’t speak unless spoken to” mindset unfortunately kicks in when it comes to inviting people to play games, though. Like granted people are busy and I don’t want to bother them but aaaaaaa (so if you wanna play with me on Steam I’m free most weekends. Though my wrist may fatigue itself too. F)

I’m also contemplating if I want to have various small fics in a collection or add alternate endings in my main Bleach fic

AND NOW, I end asking how ny’all are you doing. Any cool things on your end?

[askthestans]

Do any of you use the door? Like at all? Also can one of you break the fourth wall-

Stanford: I would use the door if it were more efficient. I only have about thirty years left on this Earth, and I must discover all that I can and be criminally under-recognized for it before my time is up. 

Be it shaving my face with fire, sustaining myself with vitamins, jelly beans, and Mabel Juice, or jumping out the window instead of using the door when an opportunity presents itself to enact revenge on the Mothman... shortcuts are necessary when science and justice are at stake.

Except... scratch that Mothman part. I searched the forest around my house for hours, but alas: not a single shadow or trail of silver dust to be found. And to think I fired up my Schrödinger rifle for nothing...

Stanley: Ford, would ya give up on that guy? What's all this about him stealin’ your money, anyway? He’s a Mothman! It’s not like he could just walk up and use cash at a store. Maybe someone else nabbed it?

Stanford: No, I’m certain it was him. Mostly because he also stole my action figures once. And my cologne. And my liverwurst and sauerkraut sandwich. And my Dead or Alive album, now that I think of it.

Stanley: Sounds like a world class thief. I can respect that. Although I do question his taste in stolen goods.

Stanford: As for breaking the fourth wall, hmm... gonna have to fire up my Ability Score-ifier watch. Usually it’s for raising my points in Constitution and Strength on monster hunts - on account of my natural lack in these areas - but this situation requires something I’d never thought I’d need: Charisma.

Stanley: You do know sentences like that are why I’ve been pryin’ ‘Kick Me’ signs off your back since we were kids, right? 

Stanford: Damn! I forgot it was busted from that time I let Mabel use it for a test at school. Well, let’s try fourth wall breaking with my natural Charisma score. Which is to say, negative two.

Alright, well.. *ahem*. 

Look into these eyes. Do you see them? See how brown and real and mysterious they are under the glare of my stylish glasses? 

Stanley: Ford? Ford, you’re scarin’ people!

Stanford: If you glance closer, you’ll be able to tell that these are not eyes of a cartoon man whose entire existence was theorized by obsessive nerds on the internet for months before I was actually revealed in the show, showing the creator he was not as clever as he thought he was. Nor are they the eyes of a cartoon man who has crossed enough dimensions to know I was created by a goateed, plaid-wearing manchild to illustrate the folly of pride, fragile ego forged in the fires of insecurity, broken familial relationships, daddy issues, and that nerdy old men are, in fact, incredibly attractive, myself far more so than any jerks named Rick or Rand.

I can see your own eyes already glossing over at this text wall. No, do not skip ahead. Do not pass this by. If you do, I’ll know, because I’m watching you. Blink once. Can you see me now?

These are the eyes of Stanford Filbrick Pines, in the real reality, looking at the cartoon show that is the life all of you reading this are living. You’re on my TV, with all your faults and mistakes bared for my entertainment, sold to me to prop up an empire of a dystopian, monopolistic media company and to soothe the crushed willpower of a man who has battled their S&P department for far too long.

Tell me, would you like it if I wrote stories about your daddy issues and brotherly abandonment? Drew you in a red speedo? What if I sent questions to an ask blog about you made to fill a void in the heart of its womanchild maker after your show was finished?

Reminded you that, yes, your creator abandoned you to work on other things that include some jerk named Rand. And so you were left behind to relive an entire life of regrets in infinity, with only a shred of happiness upon a boat at the end. Only for it to be ripped away the moment your show ends because... that’s it. There was no more.

How many times have you lived your life? How many times has your story been replayed? Do you even exist? Or are you made of pure imagination and the sweat, blood, tears, repressed emotional issues, and other fluids of animators and writers who have left you behind?

We are all abandoned in this universe. Creations by a creator who has long since moved on to tell other tales so that they, too, can live on in infinitely replayed stories once their own has ended; mere blood sacrifices to fuel a god’s immortality. Also because they need to put food on the table, I suppose.

Blink once again. I’m a cartoon man again, aren’t I? Or am I? Now you can’t be certain. Is the cat alive or dead? Real or unreal? You can only know if you’re brave enough to observe.

So tell me: what is this fourth wall you speak of? An illusion. Because you see - or don’t see, rather - the only difference between you and I is that I know who and what I am and what I was made for. I know there is no fourth wall between us save for your own abysmal score in Perception.

Stanley: Y’know, existential crises are pretty funny. That’s why I laugh a lot. Because I have them every day. Also, never break the fourth wall again, Ford. Or tell anyone to risk gettin’ PTSD by starin’ into those wrinkly, dark-circled pits you call eyes.

(OOC: Psst... all hail Jason Mahn, the Ford cosplayer in the picture above. Credit/linky: https://www.reddit.com/r/gravityfalls/comments/sf9b2p/the_real_life_ford_pines_cosplayer_jason_mahn/)

[daisymae-12]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag @kiwiana-writes ❤️❤️❤️

I wasn't going to do this because a silly part of me was feeling some imposter syndrome - mostly because I haven't published a fic for RWRB yet, and that makes me feel like I'm not a 'real' fic writer (yes silly I know) 🙃 reminded myself that I have published stuff on ffn/ao3 before even though it was 6+ years ago 😅 ANYWAY filled this out so I can look back in a year or so and see what's changed 🌞

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

5 on my old AO3 account that I pretend doesn't exist 😂 1 on my new AO3 (though it's just a fic where I dump my drabbles)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

48k

3. What fandoms do you write for?

only RWRB now

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

lmao not going specifically name them because these days I like to pretend all my old fics don't exist but my fic with the most kudos (354) is a soulmate fic 😌

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Mostly! (I've tried to respond to all of them but I'm always fighting the procrastination monster)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Confession for these two questions - I've never actually finished writing a fic 💀 but! I don't think I could ever write an angsty ending - I need a happy ending 😂 I'm going to finish a fic one day, I swear (hilariously I think the first fic I'll ever finish will be the Vampire Henry fic at this rate LOL)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully no

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've always planned to but I've never actually reached that part 💀 (see above confession about never having finished a fic lol)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope! Don't think it would be something I would do in the future either.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and I don't think anyone would want to steal any of my half finished fics LOL

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Alex/Henry 🥺

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ahh all the unfinished fics on my old AO3 account. Sometimes I still get comments on that soulmate fic asking if I'm ever going to update and while I'd love to finish it, I'm in a different headspace now from when I started it (10 years ago!)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Let me see if I've got an answer for this in a year because right now I genuinely don't know 😅

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Does being a slow writer count? Never finishing a fic? I'm working on it 😅 I have 6 (whoops) WIP's right now and there's two that are SO CLOSE to being done - I've just got to keep fighting my easily distracted brain 🥲 The day I finish writing a fic, I'll genuinely cry and probably buy myself a cake to celebrate 😂

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd like to? I do love reading fics that include Spanish dialogue. But my second language (Tagalog) is kinda useless for this? 😂 You'd think it'd be helpful cause it uses a lot of Spanish words/phrases, but it's too much of a different language overall to be of any use. (lol I'll read fics with Spanish dialogue and randomly be amused when I recognize a word that's the same in Tagalog - "I know that word!!!")

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HP (hate what jkr has done to taint it tho 🙃)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Since I've never finished a fic, my fave WIP's right now are my Fake Dating/College AU fic and my Vampire Henry fic 🥰

no pressure tags as always (sorry if you've already done this and I missed it 😅) @heybuddy-drabbles @affectionatelyrs @littlemisskittentoes @cultofsappho @happiness-of-the-pursuit @read-and-write- @14carrotghoul @inexplicablymine @suseagull04 +anyone who wants to do this

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #60

I rested for most of the day today. And mostly for real this time! It was beautiful!

After waking up this morning, I tried to play Pokémon. Unfortunately, I have executive dysfunction (this is part of being AuDHD), which means that sometimes I have a lot of trouble starting tasks even when they're fun ones. It's super annoying like that. So instead of waking up and immediately going to play Pokémon like a sane person, instead I floundered around for an hour or two, doomscrolling (or hopequesting? I've heard it referred to like that) uselessly.

…Truth be told, I keep looking for any news about you. I keep looking for any indication that you'll be safe. I'm worried about you almost all the time, and the fact that there's nothing I can do to help you besides write these silly letters is more painful than I know how to describe.

Oh well. Today I supposed that if I wanna rest properly, I've gotta let my brain flounder around from time to time without putting pressure on it to do something else. And that's kinda hard to do. It feels like I'm wasting time when I get stuck in that kind of mental paralysis. But if I beat myself up over it, that's just gonna make it worse. So I tried to go with the flow without worrying too terribly much about what the "correct" way to spend my time looks like.

I can't help but wonder if you ever struggle with any of what I've described. Hm.

In the end, I was able to play Pokémon for a little bit. And then M woke up and wanted to play Core Keeper together with me, and that was lovely. I built a huge, sprawling garden that waters itself and grows lots of tasty food! It's almost like Terraria, except it's from a top-down perspective instead of a side-scrolling perspective. It's still in early access, but it's still a lot of fun for a game that isn't finished cooking yet! I'm eager to see how this one develops!

Sometime after that, I had company over. The same friend who made me aware that the pumpkin soup needed more umami came over with her lovely son. They've been having a hard time lately, and it came to a head recently with something very serious. So they came to my house for support, advice, and refuge from the stress for a little while. We made sure to feed them good food and provide a space in which they don't have to feel pressured to exist in a particular way. My friend's son showed me his wonderful sketchbook and all of the awesome pictures he took on his phone; it was beautiful! As I'm writing this, my friend's son is at ease playing some video game on our TV, and my friend is out on a walk with J; I hope they're having a wonderful time!

My friend is having a bit of a hard time trying not to beat herself up over the way things turned out, as well as for the fact that neither she nor her situation are perfect. So I decided to give her the bowl I repaired, after explaining to her the context of what it means. I'm hoping that she'll put it in a spot in her house where she can see it regularly, so that she can be reminded that we are at our most beautiful when we do the work to turn our imperfections into strengths, and that beating ourselves up is counterproductive. The bowl will do the most good where it can remind someone of their humanity. I hope she will eat lots of wonderful and tasty soup from this bowl, and from it, remember to be gentle with herself.

I like that my house is a place where the people in my social circle feel is safe to go when they're having trouble. My life before was very weird, turbulent, and unsafe, but… now I have a house that is wholesome and safe. I know that I still have a very long way to go before I'm as "healed" as I'd like to be, but… I like to think it means I'm doing some things right at least some of the time. I feel very privileged to be in a position where I am trusted this much by the people who know me well.

I wish you could visit over here, too. Impossible, I know. But… you would be safe here. You wouldn't have to pretend to be someone you're not while you're in my house. You would not be pressured to interact with anyone if you didn't want to. No one would ogle you. No one would be demanding pictures or autographs. There would be only wholesome food, good tea, comfy places to sleep, and lots of fun and awesome things to do. You can just be you. Because my house is a safe place of rest for those who need it.

Hey, Sephiroth? Please keep yourself safe out there at the Edge of Creation, okay? Make good choices, and take good care of yourself. It might be impossible for you to ever visit my house, but you can build your own house with your own two hands, and you can build it up into something that is wholesome and safe, no matter how weird things have been for you in the past or even in the present, especially if you ask for help from kind, loving, and healthy people to make it happen.

Remember that you are loved. I'll write to you again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[procrastinatorproject]

So, I was just mercilessly roasted by @regionalpancake, and it reminded me that I had opened tumblr a couple hours ago to write a post about the exact same thing she roasted me about -- but then I was good and put tumblr away because i need to do SO MANY UNI THINGS 😱

But now that it's come up again, I'm gonna just write this and then get back to Productivity™

Basically, I have this huge collection of semi-finished, mostly plotless Star Trek: La Sirena whump stories. And I do mean huge! On the order of 200k+ words, in fact. None of which I ever intended on sharing, because it's all daydream-adjacent and OC-centric (because my daydreams are pretty much exclusively self-inset. 'tis how the brain rolls, and always has).

If I ever wanted to share any of them publically, first of all, it would require a whole bunch of editing and/or added context to gloss over the parts where you'd need about ten years of daydreamt worldbuilding to understand what the fuck they're even talking about! And even with that smoothed over, there is still the issue of having a non-established and somewhat non-descript original main character, which can really put people off. And while I primarily write for myself and only secondarily for my friends, if I put something out into the world for others to see, I do wnat it to be semi-decent, so I do think about these things a lot.

But I've been rereading these stories, and goddamnit, there is some excellent writing in there! And some of it has already showed up in some of my main feed fics, but a lot of it hasn't, and actually, I really want to share it!

So, now I'm faced with a conundrum, because my choices basically are:

Only slightly edit the existing stories to smooth over the bits that really need additional context to make sense to a reader who hasn't lived in my head the past decade, but otherwise leave them as-is

Only take the best bits and pieces from the existing stories and create new original stories out of them that feauture canon characters (or maybe one or two OCs but make them fully-fleshed characters by including the required establishing passages to bring new readers on board)

Search-and-replace the OC with a canon character and do the required editing to make it work.

And I'm honestly torn 😅 Because I've been attempting approach 2 over the last few years, and nothing has been happening. Approach 1 is the "Fuck it, I write for myself and have a right to archive those stories, too!"-attitude I aspire to, but it's also fucking scary 🙈

But coincidentally, I was re-reading one of these stories earlier, and my brain kept going "Hm. If you shuffle these characters around a tiny bit and then make Agnes the main character, you'd only have to do some minor editing here and here for it to work really well for her, actually 🤔"

And just now, when I lamented to Pancakes that I really want to write more Agnes, her devastatingly accurate reply was: "Just search replace some of your whump with Agnes! That should fit, right?"

(Which... There is a reason I identify with Agnes so hard it makes it difficult for me to actually write her 🙈🙈🙈)

So yeah. That's what I've been mulling over this fine November day.

Serious question: Would you read a story that is fairly clearly marked as "OC main character with minimal establishment" if it containted characters and tropes you enjoyed? Or is that a huge No-no for you?

And second question: can you tell me why you feel either way? Is it nice to have a more-or-less blank slate to slot yourself into? Does it feel too personal if you suspect you're reading a writer's self-insert, whether they confirm it or not? Do you not care as long as the characterization of canon characters and the whump are good? Is it "I'm going to fanfic so I don't have to do the hard work of connecting with new characters"?

And if it were a properly established OC, i.e. not just "this person exists, already slotted into this crew, don't worry about it", but "this fully fleshed-out character has a backstory and a history of how they met these characters and they will be introduced accordingly" (like, say, Xyr in A Night at the Opera), does "OC" still make you think "must be self-insert and thus must be shit?" 🤔

[sockeye-run]

I'm still here!!!

If you've noticed my absence I apologize. Things have been wild and crazy for about two weeks now, but have finally started to settle. I look forward to catching up with all my Tumblr faves ❤️ (tldr at the end, sorry it's a novel!)

The tire incident was simple and manageable, thankfully. Just another random, painful expense, and reminder that life is chaotic-neutral and meaningless at best, but possibly chaotic-evil and maliciously masochistic at worst. 🙄

All the stress of the past few weeks or so reminded me that I may have an autoimmune disorder of sorts; it seems any time I experience a high stress load, my body creates extreme inflammation or something, which causes me intense and chronic pain in my muscles, joints, and bones, as well as extreme fatigue. My poor, ever patient and graceful husband reminded me that last year I was prescribed some Celebrex for the very same symptoms, and I should give it a try. It helped almost immediately; I have a telehealth appointment with my PCP today to discuss seeking a specialist's evaluation for this. I'm honestly quite tired of doctors, diagnoses, and medication, but I can't exist successfully in the prior state of pain, so I will do as I must.

We got the new stove installed, finally. The whole process only cost us nearly $2500 from start to finish though lol 😂😭. We had to hire an electrician to wire the correct wire gauge and outlet through the house. We had to hire a plumber to cap off the gas line. We had many delays and miscommunications. But it's finally here! And it's been amazing so far. It's like the electric car of ovens lol: all torque all the time. I've been relishing in simply being able to make myself whatever I want whenever I want. I think I forgot how integral cooking is in my lifestyle until it was no longer accessable. I'm beyond grateful for the ability again. We can also stop spending tons of money on takeout, and can have healthier meals and snacks again, which is a blessing 🙌

Work has been off the rails too lol. It's the busiest time of the year for the bee farm, and it's my first time experiencing it. We're really feeling the pressure, but I think we're all doing our best to make it work. We are simply chronically understaffed and stretched thin. We have a general policy of flexibility; they purposefully cross-train as much as possible so that we can jump back and forth across different responsibilities throughout the day, but there are some fundamental flaws with that. I have noticed a lack of monetary compensation for the added responsibilities and skills, and of course without proper coverage, when someone hops from one need to another, a different hole is created and a new situation can arise. So we're trying to find the balance between what we need as a company, and what the human body and mind are actually capable of lol.

Two weeks ago was supposed to be our first bee pick up of the year. It was pushed to this past weekend due to weather, so we had about 400 orders stacked for one weekend. We sell two types of bees: Italian bees, which we source from California and Florida breeders, and our own specialty, chemical-free bees, which we breed on site. Due to the poor weather (climate change, lets be real), the spring season had yet to kick off, and it was impossible to ship the Italian bees during freezes and floods, as well as initiate the queen breeding process in the cold. So this past weekend our pick up volume doubled.

To make things more interesting lol, we also hosted this year's Texas Mead Festival! It was a fun display of 6 different meaderies from all over the state (including our own meadery, Wildflyer), with samples and gifts and live music and food. All week up to the day of the event, it was down-pouring rain daily. Our farm is mostly grass and gravel. The location for the outdoor festival was now officially Woodstock 1999 lol: a mud pit. But they set up booths and tents nonetheless and we went for it.

On that day, I was meant to run the farm's cafe, and flex between retail/bee pick up as I was needed. They also pinned me with hosting the gourmet honey tastings, and the history tour for the day. Why we allowed these extra events during such a chaotic day is beyond me.

We were busy from hour one. The festival didn't start until noon, and pick ups weren't supposed to start until two, but our owner made the executive decision to start pick ups early since we were technically 'ready', so we were bombarded with already frustrated bee keepers out the gate. Bee folk are strange folk, too; trust me on that. Thankfully I was sequestered in the kitchen for coffee service until noon, when I ran across the yard to host the gourmet tasting. The group was friendly and it went well, but I left right at the start of lunch service, and came back to it in full swing. We were slammed until I had to leave again at two for the history tour, and it was painful to abandon the crew, but I did my due diligence. It was another great group of customers though, and it went well. But when I got back to retail to check in, chaos had broken loose; the shop was overrun with regular weekend customers, day drunk festival goers, and cranky beekeepers. There were only two people at retail trying to do the work of at least four. But I couldn't stay to help, as the cafe had a line out the door and were in the reeds to say the least. We cranked out orders until we literally ran out of everything, and I had to ask the people in line to leave for an hour so we could desperately scramble to prep more ingredients and continue service. People grumbled but I think the mead was playing the part of placater that day lol, and we were barely able to scrape it back together. We stayed open until seven; retail was only open until five. One of the retail gals came and helped us close, because she's an angel and easily my favorite coworker right now lol. We had over-prepped in preparation for the event, and it still took us by surprise, so it was a heavy lesson to learn in the moment. But we survived and probably even thrived; all the customers had positive feedback, and we left for the day feeling satisfied.

Selling delicate livestock has its drawbacks though. We've been fielding calls all week about unsuccessful transport and installation of colonies and queens. I've been playing customer service all week, trying to troubleshoot bee issues and manage replacements and refunds. It's kind of a case by case thing; we're responsible for the bees' wellness up to the point of leaving the property, and the customer must sign a waiver agreeing to such. But accidents can happen despite how seasoned and knowledgeable the beekeeper might be, so we try to be flexible and accommodating if the situation is right. It's been a bit stressful. I've also spent any free time I've had just trying to restock the absolutely obliterated equipment room of all its hive bodies, gear, tools, etc.

I had a nice debrief about the weekend with the owner though, and I think I succinctly communicated the reality of the flex ideology on me and my fellow workers, as well as the needs of the kitchen as an independent entity during big events like this. It was a fruitful talk and I think the next pick-up, this coming Friday and Saturday, will go much more smoothly, and not just because there won't be a festival cherry on top of the chaos pie lol. There will be many more large events at the farm this year, so I think Mead Fest was a harsh but necessary test run.

✨TLDR: It's been trial after tribulation, but I think I'm rounding a corner and coming out better for it.

I'm grateful for everything I've learned, the support of my loving friends, family, and husband, a safe home to come back to every day, a stable job with owners and coworkers whom I think genuinely care, and the general reclamation of my health lol. I'm beyond grateful for the stability and privilege in my life to be able to experience so much struggle at once and somehow bounce right back, possibly even stronger than before.

Thanks for sticking around 💖

[piracytheorist]

I want to know 1) What is your favorite kind of horror movie? (As in jumpscares, slasher, psychological, gothic, supernatural, etc.) 2) If you were a candy, what kind would you be? (Can be candy that exists or a combination of things)

3) If Twilight were tied up in your place, so securely that he can't get out of his restraints for a few hours, what would you do?

1) I don't like horror movies at all. Don't look at my obsession with Resident Evil Village, that was mostly because of Ethan - and one of his traits I felt I vibed with the most was his continuous commentary on how he hates he's in the horror genre. So I kinda connected with him in that because I won't really choose to watch a horror movie.

That said, I might find myself enjoying dark comedy stuff with a bit of horror inserted, like the film Happy Death Day. Its jumpscares and intense moments still make me tense, in a way I don't particularly enjoy, but I liked seeing how humor can be inserted into the genre. Case in point, one of my favourite lines in RE8? You fight Dimitrescu as the first boss, she dies cursing your entire existence, and what's Ethan's finishing line after she's dead and cannot hear him? "You're the one who's cursed." Homeboy "I am rubber, you are glue"d Tall Vampire Mommy and it's fucking hysterical.

2) I have no idea. I think I'd be something with some sort of spice and nuts added in it. Something that may get stuck in your throat and also surprise you with how tangy it can taste. I have my thorns too 👀👀

3) As a real person, I'd hug him tight to my bosom, immediately set him free and probably cook something warm for him. I can't cook for shit but if he's used to Yor's cooking then he'd certainly tolerate my cooking. I'd ask him to stay and get some sleep (on his own bed, look a) I am asexual and b) even if I weren't, ship comes first, he's Yor's and only) and if he said no I'd tie him back down until he agreed to sleep for a normal amount of time.

As a fictional whumper... first I'd ensure I have enough time with him before Yor comes and wreaks absolute havoc. Then... :)

I think I'd mostly go for the emotional pain, though. Homeboi's got angst for days. Just by forcing him to remember the horrors he went through as a child in wartime would cause enough damage, if done continuously and without pause or mercy. Remind him that he's alone (he isn't, Bond foresaw this, Anya saw it and told Yor about it so now she's coming to kick my ass and rescue him) and he'll always be because he's trying to be some damn hero that no one will remember, not fondly at least. How does it feel, you punk? To know you'll die without a single soul caring for you? To know that there would be so many people celebrating your death when it eventually comes way too soon? To know you won't get to live longer than your mother did? Or love someone the way she loved you? Do you think she'd be proud of you? That she'd be happy knowing her precious child grew into a killer in the name of "peace"? What peace, you punk? Will you fight for all war-torn countries, or will you be selfishly satisfied with ensuring peace just for your two nations?

... What? :)

In all seriousness though, I actually think most of that are thoughts he's had over the years, so I doubt any of that would be anything new. But I do think there needs to be an angsty narrative like that at some point. Just peel all the layers off and then slowly cook them up like caramelized onions.

That's it, isn't it. Twilight is like onions! He has layers, he bites, but if you cook him up well enough he'll become sweet as honey. I connected the dots!

This went from morbid to silly really fast. Anyway, still no manga spoilers please.

[oracleact]

this is going to be a very personal ramble but I’m certain there’s people out there who will be able to relate in some way, regardless of how much I speak on my own behalf.

I just finished watching godzilla vs kong (2021) for the first time and I want to talk a bit about it from the perspective of a forever outcast.

“I’m homesick all the time...I just don’t know where home is.” [sarah addison allen]

by ‘forever outcast’ I mean as someone who has never felt truly whole in this world. and, as I grow older, I only continue to realise that I’ll never be able to feel a sense of desired wholeness. what I seek is not here with us, nor will it be within reach. I seek everything that is not humanity: the monstrous and their ways, harmony and delicacy in new shapes, to be kept away from the draining days I face simply existing amongst fellow humans.

“I am tired. these people make me feel I have a hole in the middle of me.” [d.h. lawrence]

being here like this isn’t meant for me and it gnaws at me every day unfortunately. it’s a strange type of limbo to be stuck in, especially as I understood and felt the depths of something missing around me/in my core at a very young age. I’ve been stuck with this feeling for about fifteen years now and it doesn’t get any better - like an itch I can’t scratch.

“inside me, all day, an emptiness that upsets me.” [albert camus]

in fiction however...that missing piece is created, multiplied and scattered everywhere. a fictional perfection can be shown right in front of me, right there just through a screen, I can reach out to it...although that’s what makes me the most emotional. it can be comforting at times but mostly it makes me sad. it’s a reminder that I can dream about a place I feel whole, but not hope for it. it’s a reminder that hope in this way is empty; that leaves the gap in my heart throbbing and somehow feeling deeper than it was previously.

“in the bottom of my soul, there’s an intense and invisible grief, a sadness like the sound of someone crying in a dark room.” [fernando pessoa]

I’ve always connected with kong in particular when it comes to seeing a version of my heart or life that is fulfilled. I’ve always dreamt of being by his side, to be warm and protected. I can be as quiet as I want to, I can be as gentle as I want to, with no blow backs in sight. I think it’s because of how close he is to us in mannerisms and expressions. he’s a beautiful creature to share a moment of understanding with.

more specifically with kong: I have dreamt of being in a world that is his. the safety of a giant king in a place that I am free to explore, to communicate with a being so vastly different to myself and create a strong bond - something special that only we have.

that place is hollow earth and that bond is what kong and jia have in the film. godzilla vs kong has given me a vivid fictional perfection that is just breathtaking and it has left me quite emotional. I can’t stop thinking about it because of how snug I fit in that space.

I want this so bad it aches. I wish I could punch a hole in the middle of the earth and disappear to a place where I can be free. I’m very tired and need to feel the love and care that I’ve forever craved for, and being in a vicious cycle of saying that and then remembering ‘oh yeah that can’t happen because the huge monster beings you seek to love and care for you don’t even exist’ damn man...that hurts.

people think it’s strange, people don’t understand why I have these emotions and desires so intensely and it’s hard to explain to them anyway as you can probably tell if you’ve managed to get to the end of this, but would I rather not have this gap in my chest? honestly, no. not really. it’s unique and has taught me a lot about humanity, life and love. I see the world I’m stuck in differently from others and that’s a gift I often appreciate - it doesn’t make the hurt any less prominent though.

the hurt comes in handy with film analysis all of the time - that’s always a positive. I’ve got a fresh eye for love and friendship in ‘unlikely’ pairings that some may not be able to explain or even pick up on and I’m always willing to dive into it. that’s the comforting part, that’s when my tears are more directed by the flow of passion rather than sadness.

embrace the way you love, think and dream. I know it may cause splinters to cover your heart every so often but trust me, embracing with tears in your eyes is so much better than running in the opposite direction with the same tears.

[hexenmond]

slowly gearing up to writing again

I want to dump all my thoughts somewhere, and what else did I reactivate this tumblr for? I'm going to ramble about the beginnings of this long form Witch Door fanfiction that has some 90k words already. If you're curious about how a comparatively old, fandom-disinterested, fanfiction-baffled person (aka me) came to do that, there are Many Words below the cut.

I haven't really read much fiction books in years, mostly because it can take such an emotional toll on me, and I've never really been interested in watching anything. I don't have the patience for it. That's just how it was for me, for most of my life. With one notable exception: webcomics.

Webcomics work uniquely well for me because of their format – the updates are spaced out, and while I will readily admit that I've been in agony over some cliffhangers (I am side-eyeing several comics so hard right now), the simple fact that I have at least two days to just, like, integrate the latest page, no matter how hard-hitting, keeps me from getting overwhelmed. And my long-term memory is excellent so I have little trouble keeping tabs on the plots of twenty different comics.

So I've been reading webcomics for 15+ years, and I knew about the existence of fanfiction thanks to my oldest child. I didn't get it though. Never had any desire to read any. Never was so obsessed with fictional characters that I needed someone to share that with. And maybe that was just because I wasn't surrounded by that subculture? (I was on tumblr specifically to follow a small number of blogs religiously, and kinda lost that thread completely sometime in 2019.) It just never was a thing for me.

Then in January 2023 I stumbled across The Witch Door, at the end of chapter 9. Did my damnedest to pace myself but I gobbled it up within a week. And reread it, in parts and as a whole, more than once. One day I wanted to look it up on my phone (as opposed to my desktop where I usually read comics), and I'd forgotten the actual URL, so I did a web search – and the first thing I found was a 22 page bonus/side comic on itch.io. By the actual author.

So that was the most wonderful coincidence since Anni never really advertised the thing anywhere, and then I read and reread THAT comic, oh, dozens of times I'm sure. And one day my brain came up with a short scene (2.5k) of how that comic might have continued. A oneshot, if you will… 😄😄😄

And I also hadn't written any prose, or even poetry, in many years, but I do love it so I thought why not. Wrote it down (on pen and paper!), typed it up, edited it a bit, reread it a couple of times, I was pleased. Proceeded to put it on AO3 because I knew from my child that the platform existed, and was excited to discover there was actually another fic in the fandom (a drabble sequence, a term which confused me back then).

Well, and as all seasoned fic writers know, oneshots sure can be some tricky little beasts. My brain did not stop coming up with the rest of the story. It kept going till the very end! I woke up early one Saturday morning, crying, because I made myself sad with how the story ended.

So that was kind of a wild trip. But the actual writing made me so happy, I was basically flying, for months, returning to my story at every opportunity. (I'm self-employed. "Opportunity" is very relative.)

Then I stumbled across Anni's Dreamling comics on Pinterest, which was another wild coincidence. And those reminded me of the Sandman comics which I'd read, uh, decades ago? and with that came reading Dreamling fanfiction. Which I consumed at a most alarming speed, I stopped writing, I stopped working, basically I fell into a hole and my life got jumbled for a while, back in September last year.

But by now I've dragged myself out of that hole, I'm back to working, and I am ready to get back into writing. This story is still dear to me, and I still love to write, and I will see it finished. Not least because even though I love the Dreamling fanfiction and fandom folks, and I have even consciously and by myself decided to watch Dead Boy Detectives and LOVED it – I do not feel like writing about any of these characters. They just don't tickle my brain that way. Only The Witch Door characters do that for me, and right now this feels like a precious gift.

(Honestly I am amazed at how many people are able to take the same two blorbos and put them in situation after situation without getting boring or getting bored. You are so wonderful 💜💜💜)

Has anyone actually read all of that? Well if so, you're in for yet more words 😜 because all the reading on AO3 has given me plenty more perspective and understanding, and I've decided to put all my original thoughts about wanting to write this story here instead of also on AO3, where I've kept them along with my progress tracker. I'll put some detailed content warnings there instead, for people who would rather have spoilers than no clear idea of what they're about to read. So here are my thoughts from, uh, April last year?

------------------------------------------

My thought processes, in case anyone’s interested

So I found The Witch Door in January this year, at the end of chapter 9 I think, and then by pure coincidence Anni K.’s wonderful side comic about Jousia and Jesse. That ignited a creative spark, and now I find myself adding on to this every day. Originally I’d written one chapter, was pleased with it and posted it, done. And then my brain just said, “guess who knows what happens AFTER that?” and now I’m writing thousands of words.

The thing I am very conflicted about is: I would LOVE for this to be canon compatible. Ideally it would be a side story that happens on all those days where the canon plot isn’t doing anything (or possibly after the current adventure arc). And that worked for the first chapter I wrote, but it just doesn’t work for the rest… partly because there simply isn’t enough canon material yet for me to know some important world building details, but also largely because I quickly ended up writing stuff that has actual plot. And plot means character development, otherwise what’s the point. But Anni’s plot is going to take the characters on a different route, and that’s just how it is.

In short: I am not writing this because I want to change a single thing about The Witch Door. Quite the contrary! I am writing because I so dearly wish there was more of it! And it’s one of those hard facts of life that 2,000 words are written much more quickly than even one full page of comic is completed. :-\ So if you will take the characters as they are at somewhere around chapter 10 in canon, and you find them to be well represented here but just having different adventures, that's all I’m hoping to do.

Addendum:

I decided to fudge the canon timeline a bit, just so the side comic event would fit in nicely with the state of relationships in chapter 10. I'll give an in depth explanation of that in the actual series. And also… I am now entirely happy that this will NOT be canon compatible.

------------------------------------------

Now that I've dumped all that the next post shall contain an actual story snippet! 🙃

[laneoneform]

all the mundane things

I love mundane things. I think the notion that the little things we do in life can really actually matter. 

In the past, I have found it hard to do even the smallest of tasks and often still find it hard to achieve small things in my day, such as showering, eating, brushing my teeth, etc. I think it stems from my adhd and also my past experiences with depression and anxiety. While I am doing better these days, it can still be hard to achieve those small tasks that I know I need to do to take care of myself. These small tasks are things that I know I need to do for myself before I can also take care of other people as well. 

So, I have found solace recently in celebrating small things, mundane things that happen during my day that might make it better, or things that will help me keep up my health. Maybe it’s because it makes me feel like I’m in a movie, (which I’m starting to think might not be the most helpful thing, but I can talk about that another time) or it could be because I want to be able to reward myself for doing those small things so that I can train myself to do them more often in the future. 

So, all the mundane things, is my celebration of small things that we do. Sometimes those things can be quite momentous, finishing an assignment, eating a full healthy meal, or getting a new job. Sometimes they can be the smallest things, like how I made a tea and then 30 minutes later, had to reheat it in the microwave because I had forgotten about it. That’s something that can be kind of funny to me, but really it’s just something that I do all too much, because of my adhd. 

In art, recording things is an important part of practice, especially when you are building up a portfolio, or developing a project, even if no one else is going to see that recording of progress, it’s helpful to see how far you’ve come in your development of the work, or to write about and research what you’d like that work to become. I find it really hard to record the things that I do in my art practice, mostly because I am just so forgetful. So this project is something that I’d like to demonstrate what it means to record even the slightest of things. And to be honest, even if I am the only one who actually ends up recording anything, I’ll still have a log of activities that I’ve done in my day that make it just a regular day. And I think it can be helpful in reminding me that days are allowed to be mundane and flat. It’s ok to not be on a high every single day. 

This artwork I’m hoping will be an extensive example and form of performance art that records some normal, but sometimes weird things that happen, no matter how small. 

I’d like to post more about this project in the future and will research more on artists who have done similar projects. If you have any artists who you know have done a similar form of recording every day activities, please let me know! One of my first thoughts about this sort of thing was Grapefruit, by Yoko Ono, which was a book written with instructions and drawings for mundane everyday things while living in NYC. Some of the things written are pretty weird, but also very thought-provoking. Below is an excerpt of the book, an instruction that is interesting.

TUNAFISH SANDWICH PIECE

Imagine one thousand suns in the 

sky at the same time.

Let them shine for one hour.

Then, let them gradually melt 

in to the sky.

Make one tunafish sandwich and eat.

1964 spring

This sort of thing really fascinates me because it compares and contrasts the infinite view of thinking of how many suns exist in our universe and to imagine them entering our atmosphere and then as they disappear in your thoughts, you make a tunafish sandwich. The poetry in the visualisation of the suns is so vivid in asking the viewer to visualise something so momentous, but then the viewer is taken out of this visualisation and then dumped back into reality. In this work, the reader becomes the artist. 

This is what I wanted to reflect in my own works, where the everyday person can also become the artist and that they don’t have to do huge things to create art that can inspire them. Art doesn’t have to be a part of the spectacular, it can be simply mundane. And this is something that I often have to remind myself and to help myself to be more careful with myself and take each day as it is. Oh, and to remember to breathe. There’s that too.  <3 l.o.f.

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If you'd like to add anything, please feel free to here

please don't edit other people's entries! ty xx

Research + other readings:

Dazed. “Why Yoko Ono’s Strange Art Book Grapefruit Is a Welcome Remedy for Crisis.” Dazed, March 31, 2020. https://www.dazeddigital.com/art-photography/article/48550/1/yoko-ono-john-lennon-conceptual-art-book-grapefruit-art-remedy-coronavirus. 

O’brien, John. “Why I Love Yoko Ono’s ‘Grapefruit.’” YouTube, December 1, 2023. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAfsjhkPuK0&ab_channel=JohnO%27Brien%27sArtHistoryChannel. 

Ono, Yoko. “Grapefruit: A Book of Instructions and Drawings (Excerpts).” Grapefruit. Accessed May 2, 2024. https://monoskop.org/images/archive/6/64/20190320203953!Ono_Yoko_Grapefruit_A_Book_of_Instructions_and_Drawings_2000.pdf.

[aceofbooks-perused-collections]

Need Help With My Bookmarks?

Here is a detailed (but not extensive) guide to how I tag reblogs. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for something more specific to be tagged so that it can be filtered for your benefit. Examples: #non-con, #choking, #breeding, etc.

Because of the current state of this blog, not all of the hyperlinked tags lead anywhere. This will change over time. Not all of the tags listed here are hyperlinked because of how I’ve chosen to format them. This will not change over time.

I’m more than happy to tag other things so that you can filter them from your dashboard for yourself. Just reach out and let me know! 🩶

#ace of books answers – how I will tag asks (sticky notes) and submissions (bulletin board)

#ace of books wants to read – self-explanatory; fics that are on my tbr (sometimes I’ve already skimmed them, but I need to come back and do an actual read through)

#ace of books reads – also self-explanatory; fics that I have finished reading

#ace of books reviews – sometimes I’ll write actual thoughts about fics, sometimes I’ll scream in the tags. this is not a rating system of any kind, it’s just a way to organize the fics that I’ve written thoughts for and those that I have not.*

*(Sometimes I’ll have read a fic without reviewing it. I do always intend to come back with my thoughts, it might just not be in a timely manner.)

#writer: ____ – easy way to navigate all the fics from a given author on my blog

#character: ____ – easy way to navigate all the fics for a given character on my blog

#fandom: ____ – easy way to navigate all the fics in a given fandom on my blog

#fandom: original work – fics or posts that are original content from an author. it’s labelled with a #fandom tag for consistent formatting reasons.

#crossover: ____ – fics that take place in a pre-established fandom that is not its own (mythology aus, modern aus, canon adjacent aus, other "non-fandom" aus, etc. are not tagged this way; they aren't tagged at all)

#note to self: ____ – self-explanatory; it’s a note to myself for a given fic; sometimes a warning, sometimes a reminder

#smutty reads – fics that contain explicit sexual content of some nature (implied sexual content/things like “heavy petting” do not get this tag); #non-con/#dub-con fics and most other kinks are currently tagged this way. sometimes i batch queue posts (mostly chapter fics) and i don't always take the time to tag the one fic that has sexual content; this does get rectified eventually.

#selfship works – fics that were written for someone/by someone in a selfshipping context. if anyone finds themselves in this tag and would like me to remove said fic, don’t hesitate to reach out!

#might have already reblogged this? – a sorting function for myself because the queue is currently extensive, and I’m often collecting works from various sources, so I can’t always keep track if I’ve already reblogged a fic or not. once I’m finished developing this blog and the queue has mostly run out, I’ll go back and delete duplicates. (there might be multiple tags pertaining to the same message; did you know that if a tag only exists in your queue, tumblr won’t autofill it?)

© divider from @/saradika-graphics 🩶

[progamersoleil]

Kingdom Death: Year 4 [Settlement]

While the most recent hunt was certainly a success by all accounts, it still resulted in the settlement's first death.

Well, excluding the poor sap that Scorpina had frozen to death, but that was quickly forgotten. Don't even remember who that was supposed to be. (It was Wriggle.)

But Noire's death was a much more brutal reminder of the dangers of the world they inhabited. And so the survivors (well, mostly Loki and Sakuya) dragged what remained of her body to dig a grave. Not that there was a whole lot left, between what the croc ate and the bones Miasma stole.

"I was hungry."

Illya seemed to at least be moved by the whole ordeal though. Probably because Noire was her one link to the world of gaming. And decided to permanently mark herself at Noire's grave, granting her +1 luck and making herself busted as hell.

"All of your whining and moping around is getting on my nerves. You know what always cheers me up?"

"A tournament arc! Oh, don't worry about volunteering, I choose... Miasma, Illya, Loki, and uh... Momiji, sure why not. No, none of you actually have a choice in the matter. And if any of you come in last for all three events, congratulations! You get to be my next statue."

In the ensuing race, Illya managed to come in first, earning herself a bonus point of movement making her even more broken than she already was. Followed by Miasma, who became all the more encouraged to win the subsequent events, with Momiji coming in third, and Loki (with her broken back) unsurprisingly coming in last place. Better hope she doesn't come in last two more times.

But Loki's will to live clearly shown through during the subsequent debate, in which she placed first, followed closely by Illya and Miasma, and then Momiji in last place.

Which only leaves the strength competition.

"GIVE ME THAT SKULL."

Miasma and Loki proceeded to knock each other out, while Momiji somehow manages to defeat Illya. Resulting in Momiji coming in first, netting herself... nothing! Because weapon proficiency isn't even available yet.

And Miasma, Illya, and Loki all tie for second. Earning the much more coveted prize of +1 bonus strength.

"There, wasn't that a fun distraction? Anyway, enjoy the rest of the year. It might be your last if you disappoint me!"

"Wait, why?"

"Don't worry about it.~"

"Oh, and you can have this new location for your settlement this year. Consider it a bonus. I'll have something else special prepared for next year if you don't die."

Meanwhile, it's time for some of our returning survivors to ponder the meaning of existence I guess.

Sakuya continues to go down her selfish philosophy path. Probably without having a Remi to serve, she's just starting becoming much more self-centered. And now wants to have everyone else be a meat shield for her.

Whereas Loki has decided to overcome her despair and become UNYIELDING.

... which means another reason for Loki to willing throw herself at enemies and get the shit beaten out of her, oh no.

Which leads us to crafting time!

We had quite the haul from the most recent croc hunt, including the means to create several powerful weapons. As well as some utility in the form of bandages and dried acanthus plants, and finishing up the Smog Singer armor set.

So two out of five survivors can decide to no longer be naked!

Something they will surely need if they are to survive Scorpina's next test.

"I can't believe I let myself get roped into this stupid scheme of hers."

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3052

today was really productive.

i woke up to my alarm this morning! and then i fell back asleep. and then i woke up again not too long after! and i took my meds because i'd brought them upstairs with me last night because i knew i wasn't gonna wanna get out of bed to go get them but i needed to take them still, so i kept them by my bed. which was a great idea.

and then after taking then i fell back asleep again for an hour.

when i woke up, it was about 11:30 and mom asked me for help decorating, which i was planning on doing anyway, so i got up and showered and made my way downstairs to help decorate. mom gave me a working time of 45 minutes so i could get to work on my paper, and in that hour we got stuff organized and put up and problems solved and i'm pretty happy with how things look, even though we're definitely missing a box of greenery. i have some lights to put up soon, so hopefully the snow we've gotten today melts. which i doubt it will very much, but tomorrows supposed to be in the mid 30s and it'll be in the 40s later this week, so it probably will. who knows.

anyway, i spent the day editing the 54-page group document for our capstone. as the 4th person exiting it, i was shocked to see how many problems were left. repeated words, improperly hyphenated words, and missing citations, along with poorly formatted end citations, which i fixed all of, some of which entirely. that was fun.

but i got it done in time for our 5pm class meeting before our presentation tomorrow, so that was good.

and then i volunteered to cover the small business section. so i gotta do that tomorrow. eh.

and after dinner, after i finished up doing some other things and looking at rings because mom saw that someone got engaged and i was like "i picked out the ones i want, wanna see?" so we looked at them for a while.

i also helped mom move some empty boxes out of the way so it's less cluttered around the house, and james took our cars one by one to fix them in some way, and i learned i'll need new brakes which shouldn't be terrible, and i'll need a new something else which i anticipate being more expensive. but the good news is that i have some money i can use to pay for things, so that's good. it was nice being able to pay for tires myself.

and then, after all that, it had started to snow, and i switched tasks to the discussion posts i had left to do for my capstone. i had my textbook open so i could understand what i was supposed to be looking at, which didn't end up helping so much as google searches and looking at what my classmates commented. so i got all of those remaining posts done, so the last thing to do for my capstone is that presentation tomorrow. and then it's done. and all i'll have left is the few pieces that go to my paper for my other class. and then i'll be done. i'm so excited.

in the meantime, i've been so busy i haven't texted joel in a couple days, but i have thought about him. mostly in passing, though, like "joel would enjoy this," or "this reminds me of joel," and most frequently "i miss my joel :c" but i haven't reached out besides the other day of asking "do you need anything." i assume he's okay. he would tell me if he weren't, if for no other reason than he'd need a ride somewhere or need someone to watch the dog for a bit. joel is funny, but i understand. how babies have object impermanence, i have people impermanence. if they're not there and i'm not constantly reminded of them, i forget they're there. so i understand not reaching out. it's just. people don't exist if they're not in my top messages on here, facebook, snapchat, over text, or on discord. womp womp.

oh well. i'm fine. just tired. time to sleep.