#mostly just wants to be left alone
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I meannnn
Not exactly
With her personality she can be very rude and actively tries to scare people away
But she doesnât actually want any harm to be done to them, though she believes that no matter what sheâll somehow cause them harm.
She doesnât herself believe to be a good person, but deep down sheâd rather save someone than screw them over.
*letâs do favorite OC, not primary. Iâm sleep deprived sorry lads.
#she doesnât really care as long as itâs not her problem#mostly just wants to be left alone#to protect herself and by extension others#Reblog#Norah Gallagher
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would jamie get along with a person similar to him, or would they be sworn enemies?
i had to think about this. but, honestly: he probably just wouldn't talk to them!
#keyframes asks#jamie porter#he mostly wants to be left alone so he just assumes most people do lmao
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The path of the Hunt seems a bit self-contradictive.
Yes, most of the Hunt characters are proactive, energetic, enthusiastic, and singleminded, but 'hunt' in the traditional sense implies murder. Whereas most of it's characters seem to be motivated by the sanctity of human life, to a certain extent, or the idea of protection at all costs. It's usually not obvious at first glance but becomes clear when you get to know them a bit better.
Seele, who seems unfriendly and gruff at first, whose singular concern is the safety of the Underworld
Yanqing, an arrogant and overconfident child who, without hesitation, challenges two ancient legendary warriors to protect the people of the Luofu.
Sushang, who is called 'naive' in her Character details, is already a Cloud Knight at 15, who spends her days helping others and protecting the people of the Luofu.
Dr. Ratio, whose underlying philosophy of "all lives are worth living" is hidden under his stern exterior.
Topaz, whose methods are absolutely messed up and horrible, but her sincere goal is to give the people of Jarilo-VI the best chances to survive, whether they want it or not.
Boothill, who pulls a gun at everybody he meets, seems genuinely offended when Aventurine accuses him of killing his bodyguards.
#honkai star rail#my stuff#seele#yanqing#sushang#dr ratio#topaz#boothill#dan heng#DH is notably absent from the list because he doesn't fit#probably because he's actually a Destruction character in disguise#I mean he mostly seems to want to be left alone#to just peacefully work in his archive#he does care about his friends#but only to certain extent#he did risk his freedom and probably life#when he returned to the luofu to protect his friends from blade#only to completely forget about it#and join blade to beat up a child#yeah I still can't believe how awful some of the writing in the Luofu story ark was#it's as bad as if in 2.3 boothilll joins the ipc and proceeds to steal candy from a baby on their orders
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#applied for a promotion in work && iâve litch been flip flopping over if i should regret it or not every 20min â ïž#bc i feel like itâd be fuck easy & id get paid a little more; but i donât wanna tell ppl what to do! or rly have more responsibility lol#i just wanna get left alone to do what i want in work mostly#ppp#(& harryâs like; you know youâll have to be louder right?? youâre not doing this bc u got pushed into it right??#*youâll have to have authority u get that right??â yh man obvs! but thatâs not the case for any other TLs rn! theyâre sure not doing shit)
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itâs the 90s in my monkee universe where davy lost his mom young like he did irl and they are watching the land before time because, yknow it seemed like a cool newer movie and peter LOVES don bluth films so they happened to pick it up from a video store after it left theaters so theyâre all at home on the couch snuggled up and then they get to the scene where the sharp tooth attacks and mike sees it coming and has a hand on davys arm immediately and sure enough theres a dying mother scene.
davy stiffens a bit but says heâs fine and so mike squeezes davys hand a bit but then eventually davy starts to sniffle and mikes like âokay thatâs it micky pause it.â and despite it having been so many years since his mom passed and him having been so young at the time, something still hits davy, especially seeing a kid in denial that his mom is going away because he just assumed sheâd always be there!
but davy is determined to push past most of his babyish ways of the past so he keeps assuring mike (who is holding his face and looking into his eyes) that heâs fine between breaths. but mike is in full mumma mode because davy became his baby forever and always, and they turn the film back on and itâs all fine but mike holds davy extra tight and snuggles up to him throughout the rest of the watch and davy canât help but push himself into mike and cling onto his shirt because mike is there for him and he does love him so much.
#the monkees#mike nesmith#davy jones#peter tork#micky dolenz#mumma mike#this is something i donât know if ive ever actually typed out but i got randomly into the land before time a while ago and thought of this#davybaby#or⊠post davybaby i suppose?#in this theyâre older cause itâs the 90s and after his father passed in 72 davy started regressing real hard#(mostly after one really lonely trip to england to help with his father)#(he had some panic attacks because suddenly he was thrust back into evrything he left and called mike in the middle of the night freaking#out because he felt all alone and mike promised heâd never#have davy go to england alone and that heâd stay with him next time)#so throughout a lot of the 70s davy is on and off baby mode pretty hard#and at some point in the 80s he decides to try to stop it and goes all stoic and NOT little#but mike is now so attached to his little one and davy⊠despite trying to act like heâs not⊠is so attached to mike#and mike wants davy to be able to do what he wants but is also conflicted because itâs definitely not good for davy to ignore his emotions#which the guys usually helped him process through regressing#they all figure it out donât worry itâs just hard for davy but heâs got his friends. theyâve all got each other and they love each other so#so much#and davy gets so many snuggles and hugs and kisses donât you worry#okay goodnight folks iâm sorry for the lil davy rants
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Me: *creates an OC*
Me: *heavily implies OC will meet a bad fate*
OC: *meets bad fate*
Me:
(Alternatively, I may have started it, but @katkastrofa enabled me and now Iâm losing my mind)
#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#first rule of interacting with Nia: donât suggest a dark/whumpy/extremely angsty concept to them#theyâll take it and run a marathon with it and next thing you know their own ideas are making them cry#this is just what happens when I start developing an OC during a rough time in my life#happens every time. guess who came up with Summiyaâs fall from grace after their college application fell through??#and since Summiya has a more or less completed storyline. itâs now someone elseâs turn#namely Jiaâs. also Sunatâs but. mostly Jiaâs. Sunat is more angst than whump and Iâm craving PAIN#Iâve been frothing at the mouth thinking about Jia all day#just.. imagine how terrified she must have been when she was brought before Jusamah. when he said that heâd make her talk one way or another#and if she doesnât want to obey and confess willingly⊠something else can be arranged#how her fear got even worse when she was dragged into the palace dungeons. when she saw the whipping post#begging for mercy as she was stripped and tied. swearing on her life that she doesnât know anything. that sheâs innocent#rambling incoherently right up until the first hit lands. after that itâs just screams and sobs and barely audible âI donât knowâs#all the while sheâs yelled at by a man three times her age who refuses to believe that she truly doesnât know anything#and she doesnât. all she did was point Aiza in a direction. she has no proof she even went in it#I donât want to get to graphic here but letâs just say I read an article on whipping and itâs.. itâs bad#the aftermath is brutal and bloody and passing out from the pain would be a mercy#and afterwards⊠I do think someone is called to tend to her so she doesnât bleed to death before they can get a confession out of her#and that person is kind. if a little detached emotionally. and likely her back could have been salvaged if the whipping didnât repeat#but it did. because they need her to confess. maybe the excruciating pain of reopened wounds will get her to talkâŠ#it doesnât. she never says anything. and after a while they move on from torture to locking her up and starving her#maybe thatâll finally break her. perhaps sheâs still whipped occasionally even afterwards but for the most part sheâs just left alone-#in some dark cell and questioned occasionally. it lasts anywhere from weeks to months and yet she never gives out the one detail she knows#because Aizaâs safety depends on it and she knows Aizaâs punishment will be much worse than hers if sheâs caught#but anyway. enough of the bloody horror show. instead think about what it mustâve been like for her parents#the town is alight with scandal following the disappearance of Lady Aiza. you know a bit about her since your daughter works for her#you donât hear from your daughter for a while. eventually someone tells you that sheâs been convicted of helping Lady Aiza run away#sheâs been under interrogation since. no oneâs seen her but rumour has it theyâre torturing her. thereâs little you can do as a poor family#you request an audience with Lord Jusamah. it takes a long time to to be granted but eventually youâre before him begging for your daughter#apparently sheâs proven to be a useless waste of resources so sheâs released to you. you barely recognise her. AND I REACHED TAG LIMIT FML
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love asking my coworkers if they need help with anything and theyâre like well if you WANT toâŠ.i donât want to do anything. i want to go home. but yeah i can mop the sterile area for you
#also one of my coworkers is a fellow stoic quiet girl whoâs nice when you talk to her but mostly just wants to be left alone#so when we end up working on something together itâs just. silence. âdid you get x done?â#âyeah did you get z done?â âyeahâ âcoolâ âcoolâ#and then we go our separate ways#itâs great#snow.txt
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living alone is all fun and games til you have a medical emergency and there's no one there to help you to the hospital
#eliot posts#im fine now it's just last week's Incident fucked me up a lil#a couple online friends offered to call me an uber#and i maybe could have woken my neighbors up (though i would have felt awful abt that)#but while i was figuring out how to get to the hospital and if i'd be able to like#verbally communicate to whoever was driving where to take me#and explain to the doctors what was wrong with me#and fill out the entrance paperwork#and find my wallet/insurance card and my housekeys before i left#...i had gone unconscious before i could make the decision to find someone to take me#luckily i was mostly fine after i woke up#i knew it wasn't an ''i'm gonna die if i don't go to the hospital'' type medical emergency so i didn't call an ambulance#bc i was not abt to bankrupt myself unless i was Literally Dying#but yeah. eugh. 0/10 do not recommend.#at the VERY LEAST i'm gonna need to have good friends that live very close in the future#i don't want this kind of thing happening to me again#i am gonna be roommates with a very good friend in a few months after i move to the city#and then i'm probably gonna be roommates with a different very good friend in a couple years when i leave the state#both mostly out of financial necessity for us all#but also i thiiink i want to go back to living alone eventually?#unless living with friends goes so great that it changes my mind#it's just like. for the most part i've loved living alone#not just in a ''yay i'm no longer living with my abusers!'' way but like. in general.#i can do whatever the fuck i want in my apartment without having to talk to anyone#chores get done when i want. food gets cooked and eaten when i want. i can take a 2 hour bath no problem. i don't have to close doors.#i can walk around late at night without having to worry about waking anyone up.#when my social battery is drained i know that no one will try to talk to me. when im overstimulated i don't have to tell anyone to be quiet#it's like. the thing with me is every social interaction has a timer where i start thinking#''GOD i cannot fucking wait to go be alone in my nice empty apartment again''#that timer is much longer for some people and situations than others but it is always There even when i'm having a great time
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i havent spent enough time thinking about laws thoughts on when acton went missing. thinks about it.
.
#i think it was a period of like a couple days between when it just seemed like a nocall noshow (which wasnt that surprising given how fucked#up actons been for the last several months and 100x more so now since law got revived and [scene i also still need to draw but#tldr it traumatized acton further] and then when people went looking for him at his house they realized oh hes GONE gone#and the news was especially slow to reach law because people walk on eggshells around him already let alone talking to him about ACTON#and law wanted to not care. and i wouldnt say he DID CARE but he wanted to know but also didnt want to LOOK like he cared#so he refused to ask people and just slowly heard through the grapevine (he probably couldve guessed too but actons already been trying to#avoid him at work for a whiile)#and he had weird feelings about it. because he hates acton obviously. but now that hes gone he's just left to fester in his hate#that was never Really towards acton himself as a person as much as just what he represented (his old life having to 'rely' on someone etc)#and in his weird fucked up selfish way he DOES deep down miss him. but again mostly what he represented (a time when he was happy#and the person who really made him happy)#fuuuckkkkkk i think i might still be sick in the head about law. fuuuuuuckkkkkkkk man i hate that guy#mumbling
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gee i wonder why im struggling to focus and draw so badly today i must just be tired! yes! im very tired, this must be it.
#dad got admitted to the hospital on saturday and i was told at 4am before the most stressful work shift i've had in a very long time#he was supposed to be released today but theyre keeping him longer now to be sure his medication is going to work#the fact they arent certain is making me have the most passive anxiety attack i've had in a long time so i'm just literally not able to dra#tomorrow i go back to work in that same stressful dept left mostly alone and i really dont want to i just want to go back to my dept rn#i didnt realize how stressed out i was until i stepped back just now to realize my head is going 500 miles an hour.#its okay to not be okay but now i dont know what to do with myself bc i have not had focus issues like this before.
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Also
I NEEDDDD to draw my oc that is Ellen's gf in my ihnmaims AU bc I'm obsessed with everyone's relationship in this AU and she needs a design bc I love hers and AM's relationship in my brain
#puffy talks#its like based on the game kinda#ted; gorrister; ellen and benny manage to escape at the end instead of dying bc nimdok had instructed/made a plan with ted#but since the three AMs are locked or whatever from their computers bc of nimdoks spirit; they put their consciousness into sometype of body#i always thought of like the am we know as being mostly the american am so yeah#the russian and chinese ones are put into one body that i shouldd design#anyway#am still is trying to go after the survivors and he does find ted and convinces him to take him to the others#but since am can't do much bc hes a small robot creature in a body he had been building but never finished he just#sticks around#theres nothing else to do type of mentality and he prob doesnt want to be alone#in the meantime; Abigail; that oc; was part of a survivors group (kinda fallout vault logic but they had left it) and got separated#and shit happens type of au
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so I was looking up the tenets for lolthâs paladins and I found this little list. not sure how canon exactly this is but I thought it was interesting -
kind of laughing that shriâiia does the exact opposite in act 1 which leads to her oath breaking. she girlflopped so badly lolth decides to drop her ass then prob hunt her ass down for being an embarrassment and a failure. like girly was not exerting her power at all - itâs her first time in the surface ever and sheâs surrounded by people who could literally kill her any given moment (considering all the stories she heard abt how surface dwellers hates drow) not to mention that the tieflings you encounter when you see laeâzel were ready to attack you that just fueled her paranoia. > she was not sowing discord at all she was laying low and keeping her mouth shut âŠ!! she has no allies here! and she doesnât know where she is! and thereâs an illithid tadpole in her head! it would be foolish of her to paint herself as an enemy when sheâs already so out of her environment so she keeps her mouth shut ⊠thoughts to herself ⊠bides her time and sees whoâs useful to her and whoâs not ⊠she can always get rid of the ones that she doesnât need later but for now sheâs seeing what she can work with first âŠâŠ > have a plan⊠shriâiia had no plansâŠ. at all. she was following laeâzel around because the crĂšche was her only lead ⊠but then they mentioned a druid named halsin whoâs a very good healer so she turned her objective to that ⊠then a goblin mentions their priestess is a healer too so guess sheâs looking for her as well⊠honestly who thought making the drow whoâs never been to the surface and literally does not know where she is or what she's doing the leader of the group a good ideaâŠ.. in my hc the leader is gale
#but Iâm like đ€đ€đ€ at the idea of shriâiia being considered an embarrassment by Lolth just bc apparently lolth paladins are pretty rare#like she doesnât give her blessings easily and they mostly go to her clerics but to a paladin ⊠and for someone whoâs not noble birth tooâŠ.#like she had potential ..!! she was mentored by a matriarch of a noble house ..!! but then she flopped soo badly đđ#and I hc mid/the end of act 1 she still hasnât accepted that sheâs an oathbreaker and sheâs still delusional thinking that she can get#lolthâs favour again itâs like no đ girly. she hates your ass đ if you ever return to menzoberranzan sheâll turn you into a drider probably#and itâs only in act 2 where she accepts that she is an Oathbreaker. and she does Not need Lolth. and Lolth doesnât deserve her (delusion)#but I love that idea for her bc she was So proud of herself ⊠and she devoted herself to her goddess to the point that her sense of self is#essentially Gone.. but then she gets rejected. so now the thing sheâs most proud of is taken away from her#by HER own actions no less .. like she canât blame anyone bc itâs her own fault ..!! and thatâs what stings more ..!!!!! sheâs the one who#fumbled the bag ⊠so itâs like where do u go when the very thing you dedicated your whole life to rejected you#and youâre so far away from home. and you CANâT even go back home.. where do you go. no choice but to keep goingâŠ.#then she eventually accepts the role as an oath breaker bc it's the only thing she has left. her oath no longer binds her ; every choice#she makes is hers and hers alone.. which is so ..!! girls when you're faced to reclaim your own agency or else you'll fall into the void#you're left with ...!!!!!!! also it is so perfect bc the oathbreaker dialogues are all abt freedom and agency of self.#being free from dogma and making your own decisions! and you also want others to be free too âŠ#and the fact that the oath breaker knight helps you make that decision I hc she becomes similar to him as well#where if someone chooses they want to be free she will help them ⊠but it has to be their own choice âŠ#which ties in perfectly with the act 2 and 3 quests esp for the companions .. all abt making ur own decisions âŠ#so the leadership role goes from gale then to her âŠ#should be heading to bed bc I have an early start tomorrow but hrk head filled w thoughts of my oc...#but act 1 shri'iia is essentially her getting such a bad grade at being Lolth-Sworn Drow that lolth disowns her đ#im so ill at the thought of her not being able to return to menzo tho ... i dont think the underdark is safe for her either like she should#b getting hunted like sport .... maybe thats why she released the vampire spawns down there lol#like <3 revenge. everyone loves revenge especially an ex oath of vengeance girly <3
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I have two month old kittens. They are young, innocent, and malleable. What fun stuff do I start these babies on so it's normalized for them as they grow up? *tents fingers*
I know multiple of these will be beneficial, but for the sake of this poll...
#reblog for sample size if you want#no pressure tho#this is mostly just for goofs and giggles#I've never had cats this young so I'm kinda excited for trying to raise them in ways I haven't been able to with other cats#they're already being acclimated to being held handled and checked over a fair bit#while respecting their boundaries too#working theory is that cats will be more chill with what you're doing if they know you'll let go of them when they ask#so they get picked up and held and then put back down soon as they wiggle#paws get played with and massaged and left alone when they pull away#that kind of thing you know?#I love them a lot#it's gonna kill me having to give some of them away
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had a very intense semi lucid dream last night where i was the daughter/acolyte of an insane cult leader/my dad who performed non consenual surgery on me and molested and raped me. it inspired me to start writing a lil sci fi novella but also to clean out my closet and find my vibrator cuz i was desperate for it after waking up lmfao
#he had like. grown me & a few other and inserted more and more mechanical parts into us through our lives#so we were mostly machine inside. but human-looking outside#and i tried to run away and got the shit kicked out of me by my sister/fellow cult member#she patched me up most of the way but for the complicated stuff dad had to help#one of my arms had been broken so he just cut the whole thing open to fuck with the wires and stuff. it felt so awful guhhhhh#and after that he started trying to finger me and asking questions about wether id slept with anyone while i had been away#and told me he knew id been touching myself and that made me disgusting and corrupt and that was why id tried to leave. and he had to fix#my mind too.#there was blood on his fingers when he pulled them out of me and he got so so pissed#i was crying and trying to explain i was on my period but he said that was a lie and id been trying to hide more injuries from him so he#couldnt finish fixing me#and he spent a solid twenty minutes beating me for it while groping me & continuing to finger me#he had a metal arm n that was the one he was using too so i kept getting cut and bleeding more and hed yell and hit me more and he just#wouldnt stop đ”âđ«đ”âđ«#i was tied down by my wrists laying on my tummy but he forced me to roll over so he could punch my stomach a lot too ;-;#toward the end he got on top of me and started grinding against me#talking to me nice again and saying i was his girl and he just wanted to make me better and i only had to cooperate#i was sobbing and panicking still but he was just petting me#he tried to push his cock in me but he like. couldnt fit.#he could only get a couple inches in and he stayed sweet for a little longer but then he started getting frustrated#yelling at me to stop fighting him and slapping my face#and i was trying so so hard to relax and let him in so it could be over but i was just too small#he gave up after awhile and finished cleaning me up without saying anything then left me alone down there. still tied down and crying.#that was only one part of the dream there was a whole plotline where i had made contact with 2 people (a brother and sister) on the outside#who were trying to save me. and i was trying to talk my sister into leaving with me because i was so terrified of losing her#eventually i did get out and ended up living with the brother and sister and it was super cute and sweet#parts of the dream were from her pov too. she made us all matching hats :]
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thinking about everyone being so convinced that funny little rich girl teen attie is an absolute snob because she doesn't talk to anyone and so firmly believes that her strong opinions on art and literature are superior to everyone else's. but no, it's actually just because she's painfully introverted and a huge fucking nerd.
#ok maybe she is a teensy bit of a stuck up snob#but it's fine. she grows out of it... mostly#the way i could talk about how she has to be loud about her opinions/wants and strong-willed#because otherwise her parents overlook her#and ughhhh the way she learns to bite her tongue and hide her opinions the older she gets#the way it gets to the point that you end up having to pry genuine thoughts out of her head#ALSO i need to talk about how she's an introvert more because she doesn't act like it??#she tries to fake being outgoing sooo hard#obviously she's got her few people that she would listen to talk on loop for hours but for the most part she'd like to be left alone pls#idk i just have many Thoughts about teen attie tonight
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The twins visit Hallima at their Island Sanctuary
âSo, an Island, huh?â
Alisaieâs voice carries across the beach easily, muffled only by the gentle rolling tide, still low at this time of day. Birds call in the distance, and Alphinaud hefts his bag a little higher on his shoulder.
âSo it seems. For being a hero to all the realm, or simply being on Tataruâs good side, I wonder?â
âBoth.â Hallima strides down the rough stone walkway to greet them, grinning widely as they turn to face him. Both twins light up with equal delight, shucking their bags to wrap the former adventurer in tight simultaneous hugs. âMiss me?â
âAlways!â
âOf course!â
The twin exclamations were tied in fervour, differing only slightly in tone. Hallima ruffles their hair and then bends down to return their hug with enthusiasm.
âYou picked a great day to come,â Hallima says when they pull back. âItâs been raining all week, I was worried you might arrive to nothing but squalls.â
âAs if we havenât dealt with worse.â Alisaie snorts.
âIndeed.â Alphinaud nods. âThough I will admit that some nice weather shanât go amiss either, after months of Garlemald's unending snows. And hearing all about your exploits in farming, Iâm quite eager to see the fruits of your labours myself.â
âHow has Island life been treating you?â Alisaie asks. âYour letters painted a fair glowing picture, but forgive me if I wish to hear it from the dragons mouth.â
Hallima chuckles.
âItâs no replacement for wandering the worlds, but it keeps my hands busy when the guilds tell me Iâve done enough for one week.â He says, gesturing them to follow as he turns back to the stone walkway.
âOh yes, because you certainly havenât been doing any wandering, have you.â Alisaie raises a delicate eyebrow at Hallima as she stoops to pick up her dropped bags. Hallima coughs and looks away.
âAnd defy chirurgeons orders? I wouldnât dare.â
âChocobo hock, you most certainly would.â Alisaie rightly scoffs.
âAnd any sightings of you at Radz-at-Han or Gridania are mere fictions, Iâm sure.â Alphinaud is clearly just as convinced.
âOf course.â The truth is of course that they have a personal transport crystal in Gridania, and Radz-at-Han is set as their home point, so aetheric travel to those places are less strenuous than most others.
They still weren't supposed to be teleporting at all, but it was more of a gray area. Kind of.
âHallimaâŠâ Alphinaud sighs, but his exasperation is short lived, too happy to see their friend and sibling again. âI donât know what we expected, honestly. You never were one to let anything keep you down.â
âAnd glad are we for it, even if it can be infuriating at times.â Alisaie agrees. âCome, show us this Island Paradise youâve been building these last few months.â
âWith pleasure.â
-
"And this one? What's her name?" Alisaie hefts the karakul in both arms like one would a stuffed toy, beaming widely. Hallima grins despite himself- the typically ornery beast was being astoundingly docile at the treatment.
"Pibby."
"And this one?" Alphinaud crouches next to another one, which looks up from it's doze to sniff at his nose curiously.
"Foof."
"Has anyone told you that you are terrible at names?" Alisaie snorts.
"Yes, you. Repeatedly."
"To be fair⊠You are really terrible at it." Alphinaud says with a wry grin. "How about the Auroch on the far end?"
"Gigatusk. I name a baby couerl Kitten on time and I never hear the end of it."
"Once, sure, sure." Alisaie sets Pibby down and hefts a dodo nearly bigger than she is up to Hallima. "What's her name again?"
"âŠ. Carl."
"How is Kitten doing?" Alphinaud asks, Foof whining and nudging his hand when he pauses scratching behind her ears. He resumes his task dutifully.
"Still growing, somehow. Might have to move it out here if it keeps going, it barely fits through doors anymore." Hallima grimaces. His retainers would not be happy with that, they were both just as attached to Kitten as he was. Minhe would probably just show up on the Island the next day with bags packed and his usual lazy grin, the red of his long Viera ears burning bright in the tropical sun, but T'ona would twist his ear for putting them through the trouble⊠regardless of whether he actually asked them to or not. But she would still come, all dark slitted glares matching her fur but gentle touches, in her usual manner of her actions and words never quite matching up completely.
"Is she still convinced she's a lap cat?" Alisaie releases Carl, who blinks blankly at the change in circumstances, squawks once, and then flutters off to join her mate, Numbnuts, further off in the pasture.
"Considering no one has told it to stop⊠Yes." Hallima takes no responsibility for that one. That was entirely Minhe's doing.
"Well, no one has come to harm over it, he can be a lap cat if he wants to." Alphinaud says primly. Alisaie glares at him. It was a long standing debate as to Kitten's actual sex, but early in their adventuring careers they hadn't the time or resources to find an animal expert willing to deal with the notoriously dangerous Couerl species, and though Hallima probably could now, this is far more entertaining.
Actually, chances were high one of the Island's resident mammets probably could do it, there are several tasked with the care of the pasture animals for that very reason, but Hallima decides not to enlighten either twin of this possibility.
"Oh now well aren't you a pretty beastie." Alisaie coo's, prompting Hallima to drag themself out of their thoughts and see Alisaie petting along the neck of their rare Gold Back. Before they can utter a word of warning Alisaie yelps as her arm is suddenly clamped in the creature's jaws, nestled between it's long teeth.
"Alisaie!" Alphinaud stands sharply, aether percolating in the air as he readies a spell, but Hallima gestures him to wait, and to his credit he does.
"You okay, Alisaie?" Hallima calls, and Alisaie pulls out of her instinctual shock to pull on her arm a little, finding it securely held but otherwise unharmed.
"I'm fine. Just.. Stuck. I guess."
"Yeah, she does that." Hallima jogs down the hill. "Sorry, she was on the far end and doesn't usually approach strangers, so I didn't think to warn you unless we went closer."
"Well, as long as she just wants to hold me and not eat me, I shan't complain." Alisaie grins ruefully. "Though It is rather⊠wet."
"Yeah." Hallima chuckles, petting the Gold Back's beak gently before reaching past it to her jaw, looking for a particular pressure point. "Talk to Creature Comforter on the way out, he keeps towels on hand because of exactly this."
"Ah, ow!" Alisaie yips, startling both Alphinaud and the Gold Back, the latter of which freezes entirely.
"Sorry, sorry." Hallima says, moving to get a better view of their work. "I'm more used to being the one pinned⊠And the mammets never say anything if I poke them by accident. Apparently."
"I don't remember your claws being that sharp." Alisaie flexes her pinned hand in an attempt to shake away the lingering pain.
"Forgot to file them down before you got here." Hallima says, a hint of chagrin in their voice. Alphinaud makes a thoughtful face.
"Why do you do that, anyroad? I've always meant to ask. The Au ra students we knew back at the Studium often did, being as they are involved in research and academics for the most part, but all those who led more dangerous lives such as those of the Steppe or Yugiri tend not to. I am aware that you are more than capable in the field, but surely even so small a natural advantage would be a boon?"
"'S a hassle. Ah!" The Gold Back's mouth opens and releases Alisaie's arm, which emerges sticky but unhurt. "There we go, that's a good Limestone. You don't mean no harm, do ya? You're just a mama at heart." Hallima coo's, petting the creature, and Limestone shakes her head and neck happily at the attention.
"That's right, Blue Back's carry their young in their mouths, don't they?" Alphinaud recalls. He's not entirely sure where he'd read that, animal husbandry wasn't something he had ever studied in truth, so it must be some tidbit of information he had picked up in passing.
"Yup." Hallima nods, giving Limestone another pat. "The teeth look long and dangerous, but they're more like handles for their babies to grip than any kind of offensive tool."
"What did you mean by it being a hassle?" Alisaie asks, curious, unconsciously rubbing at the thin red line that now crosses the bridge of her thumb. Hallima glances down at it pointedly.
"Scratching things I don't want to scratch."
"It's really not that bad," Alisaie waves her hand as if to demonstrate its veracity. "But I see your point. Now, where were those towels?"
She struts off without waiting for an answer, spotting the Creature Comforter by the gate quickly. Alphinaud looks up at Hallima, thoughtful, but whatever he's thinking he ultimately chooses to keep to himself, and the two follow her at a leisurely pace. Hallima is grateful, he hasn't thought about the last time he used his claws deliberately in a very long time, and would prefer to keep it that way.
The low thump-thump of heavy feet behind them tells them that Limestone has chosen to come along- at least so far as she is able. As they approach the gate she nudges and nuzzles at Alphinaud insistently, which he doesn't seem to know how to react to, shoulders stiff and gently pushing her beak away when it blocks his vision. Hallima chuckles, and reaches into a pocket for some greens.
"Catch." Is the only warning Alphinaud gets, and to his credit he does manage to catch the bundle, if ungracefully. Limestone trills in delight, feathers and webbed scaling alike flapping in excitement at the sight of it. "Go on, give her a treat."
"Ah, alright, um. Here?" Alphinaud turns and holds up the greens, which despite her obvious excitement Limestone only nibbles at the ends of. After a moment she nudges at his closed fist with her beak in frustration.
"Open your hand, let it rest in your palms." Hallima instructs. "She's trying not to get your fingers."
"Oh. Right." Alphinaud does so, and Limestone proceeds to gobble up the treat with abandon.
"Nicer than many animals, then." Alisaie approaches, still wiping down her arm with her newly acquired towel. "And good thing too, Alphinaud would definitely lose some appendages otherwise."
"Hey." Alphinaud scowls at her, but cannot find any true rebuttal to it. It was true after all, he generally fared much better with creatures capable of speech.
"Like I said, she may be shy- usually anyway- but she's a mama at heart."
"We're not that young." Alisaie is the one to protest this time. And there is some truth to that these days; the twins have yet to hit the majority of their growth, but the way their frames have filled out and necks lengthened indicates it's likely not far off.
"You're young enough." Hallima shrugs. "She does it to me too, remember?"
"Right." Alphinaud says, a smile crossing his face and his stance starting to relax. "'Mama at heart.' We know the sort."
-
It should by all rights have been a short tour. The Island, while big enough to sustain a small village, isnât that large, but the three are continuously stopped by some anecdote or shenanigan and by the time they finish the sky has grown long dark and lanterns light the paths.
Itâs for this reason that Alisaie doesnât notice right away, hearing the faltering step more than seeing it, and the sound makes her pause in concern.
âAre you all right?" She asks, looking towards Hallima. "We can stop for a while if you need a break.â
"Huh?" Hallima pauses, confused, before a dawning realization crosses their face. âOh, no Iâm fine.â
âYouâre limping.â Alphinaud has noticed too, probably at near the same moment she had, sheâd simply spoken first.
âItâs nothing, just a rock in my boot.â Hallima tries to turn away but only makes it a few steps before realizing neither twin is following them. When they meet the twins gazes, it is to one full of hurt anger and one of aggrieved betrayal.
âYouâre really going to lie to us? Now?â Alisaie demands. âAfter everything weâve-â She cuts herself off, biting her tongue lest she say something she regrets.
Alphinaud approaches Hallima slowly, and inside something complicated and bitter writhes at how itâs like he would approach an injured animal.
âSit down, let me see.â He says, a healer to his core. Hallima shakes his head.
âThereâs nothing to see. I didnât want to worry you.â
âWell congratulations, now weâre worried.â Alisaie crosses her arms. âSo?â
Hallima looks away, and then lets themself lean against a nearby fencepost.
âThere really is nothing to see.â They say again, as Alphinaud starts checking them over. âItâs been like that ever sinceâŠâ
They trail off, but thereâs no need to finish. They all know what events theyâre referencing. Alphinaudâs hands drop, the pieces falling into place.
âWhy try to hide it though?â Alisaie asks, frustrated. âItâs not like we havenât all some lingering malady or other from our adventures. Alphinaudâs hands ache when it rains, Krile suffers from memory echoes, Yâshtolaâs blind, and if I recall correctly even your dragoon mentor has a limp of his own!â
âNone of whom are the Warrior of Light!â Hallima snaps, unthinking. Two stunned faces stare up at them in shock, and they turn their head away from the rush of shame that heats their cheeks.
"HallimaâŠ" Alisaie says, the word strangled and unsure.
âIâm- sorry." Hallima pushes off the fence post and tries to meet their gazes but fails, scrubbing a rough palm through their hair in guilt and frustration.
Alphinaud casts his gaze downward, lips pursed in thought, before reaching out and taking Hallimaâs comparatively massive hands in his.
âToo much has been put on you over these long years, hasnât it my friend?â He says slowly. âIt is something we have oft acknowledged but failed to address. I vowed never to view or wield you as a tool again, and though I have tried my utmost to hold to that it appears I have still failed. I am sorry, my friend.â
"You haven't failed." Hallima shakes their head sharply. They turn their hands so they can return Alphinaud's grip, mindful of their claws. "It's not you, and you don't deserve me taking it out on you. It's just⊠I've become the saviour of the realm, the universe itself, and I would do it all again if I had to, but there is always a part of me convinced that I'm.. Not worthy of it. That one day my weakness will become obvious to all."
"We all have weaknesses, Hallima." Alphinaud says, the soft quaver in his voice speaking to his understanding more than words ever could.
"I know. I do." Hallima says. "it's a bit absurd, isn't it? It would be easier were they to simply turn on me like the bloody banquet. It hurts but it's straightforward, I know how to handle a fight. It's the disappointment that scares me."
Alisaieâs anger and frustration melt away in understanding, and she stands next to Alphinaud, with wide, shining eyes.
âYou are the Warrior of Light, yes.â She says, the effort to keep her voice from shaking. âBut you are also a man. No more or less than the rest of us. I know you have been made a symbol to the masses but to us-â
She stops, biting her tongue again, this time to keep her composure than to restrain her anger.
âTo us you are family.â Alphinaud finishes for her, and she nods, grateful. âYou need not maintain a veneer of perfection with us. Please, we would gladly share your struggles as you have shared in ours.â
"Whatever may come, we will be there for you, as you have been for us." Alisaie continues. "So forget the disappointment of the masses. We have seen you with scissors stuck in your hair and your horns caught in your shirts, you won't be getting rid of us that easily."
âHeh.â Hallima lets a wry smile slip onto their lips, and when the twins look up there is a distinct shine to their already bright eyes, nearly glowing in the ambient dimness. âYouâd think I would know better by now than to hide from you.â
âClearly weâve been away too long.â Alisaie teases gently, the tension slipping away. âWe will have to check in more often.â
âI would like that.â Hallima admits. âYou know me, I keep busy, but I have missed everyone.â
Even remodelling an entire Island could only keep their wanderlust at bay for so long.
âWe will be sure to send the word out once we have adjourned here.â Alphinaud nods decisively, ever the planner. Alisaie knocks a fist to her palm in agreement.
âThat we shall. But first, let us adjourn to the cabin before the bugs make meals of all of us.â
-
"It has a lovely view, doesn't it?" Alisaie comments, staring out across the tops of trees and listening to the waves lapping at the beach below. In the distance thunder rumbles, though not so much as a breeze yet disturbs the thick foliage.
"The lights along the path help." Alphinaud says, taking a seat on a bench next to where she stands. "Else I imagine you wouldn't see much of anything right now."
"The sunsets from here are incredible." Hallima chuckles, emerging from the stairwell with a tray of snacks in hand, courtesy of the workshop. "I had planned to show you once we finished our tour, but we got a bit distracted with everything else."
"As we always seem to." Alisaie laughs, taking some preserved meats from the tray when Hallima offers it. "Oh well, we're here for at least another day, perhaps tomorrow we will get to see it."
"Assuming it doesn't rain again." Hallima says, taking their own seat on the bench and setting the tray of snacks between them and Alphinaud. There is another rumble of distant thunder, and a brisk wind begins to wind its way through the plaza. "Which it might."
"A whole day spent indoors with people we love while a storm rages outside. However will we survive." Alisaie says drily, taking a bite from her jerky.
"We could teach you some of the games we've learned in Ilsabard!" Alphinaud lights up, always excited to impart new knowledge. He appears to have already forgotten about the slice of jerky he had taken from the tray. "Being in such inclement climes as they are, they have a veritable wealth of games and pastimes for the express purpose of wiling away the hours indoors, often with little to no power."
"Many of them serve as excellent bonding excersizes as well." Alisaie nods. "Particularly for the children who were more wary of us at first."
"They're doing so well, despite everything they've been through, truly." Alphinaud says. "There's one in particular who has taken to asking us for stories about you every time we see him. Perhaps when next you visit we could introduce youâŠ"
He hesitates, recalling how just earlier the Warrior of Light had revealed lingering insecurities over their titles of heroism, but Hallima smiles.
"I'd love that."
"You better not just be saying that to be a people pleaser like always." Alisaie points at them, and they raise their hands defensively. Honestly, she could give Esteem a run for his money.
"Honest. Kids are different, they need hero's. Especially after everything they've been through." Hallima says. "And I don't really mind being the hero and saviour and etcetera. It's the whole⊠Being put on a pedestal thing that bothers me. Pedestals have a tendency to crumble."
"That's fair, I suppose." Alphinaud says, finally remembering his snack and nibbling on it.
Silence reigns for all of five seconds, mostly comfortably, and then-
"Is that why it took you and G'raha so long to sort yourselves out?"
"Alisaie!" Alphinaud reprimands, but she pays no heed. Hallima laughs.
"It's not the only reason, but it is one of them, yes." They say, taking one of the jerky slices for themself. They didn't mind the devotion, that's just how G'raha is really, devoted to a fault- whether it be to the Students, his scholarly work, or the people in his life. But he'd had centuries to build that pedestal to the Warrior of Light in his mind and Hallima needed to be sure that the destruction of the pedestal would not mean the destruction of G'raha's esteem.
Turns out, they needn't have worried. G'raha was well aware of the pedestal, and surprisingly adept at separating it from Hallima themself, even if dismantling it would likely remain a work in progress in perpetuity.
"Enough about me, we've spent all day talking about me." Hallima continues. "Tell me more about how things have been going in Garlemald."
-
scrtch-scrtch scrtch-scrtch
It's this sound that draws Alisaie back into the world of the waking, along with the persistent patter of rain on glass. She yawns fitfully, stretching and attempting futily to assuage the new crick in her neck. Next to her Alphinaud mutters something sleepily, disturbed by the loss of his impromptu pillow, eventually letting out a yawn of his own and rubbing at the crust that has gathered around his eyes.
"Hng⊠What time is it?" He says, words only slightly slurred.
"Not as late as it probably feels." Hallima says, putting the nail file- the source of the scratching noise earlier, aside. "It's only been maybe a half bell since you dozed off. Much longer and I was going to cart the two of you off to bed."
"Might be a good idea anyway." Alisaie yawns again. "Goodness, who knew a vacation tour could be so tiring?"
"It does rather- awuh- defy belief." Alphinaud concurs, Alisaie's yawn contagious. The two stand and it's hard to miss the way Alphinaud attempts to massage his palms.
"Would heat help?" Hallima asks, taking Alphinaud off guard.
"Huh?"
"Your hands. Alisaie mentioned they ache when it rains. Would heat help? Hot cocoa maybe?"
"That sounds incredible, truth be told, aches or no." Alphinaud smiles gratefully.
The kitchenette in the cabin is about as basic as it gets, the culinary arts being one of the few the Hallima hasn't explored in depth, but the ingredients are there- most fresh from the Island pastures and farmland- and it is a simple thing to make. Simpler still with two hangers on with all sorts of advice to give.
"Careful of the temperature! Don't let the milk bubble!"
"Make sure the cinnamon is finely ground now-"
"Do you have any mallow bits in here�"
Or perhaps that made it much less simple. It was welcome all the same.
"Ahhhh, that's the stuff." Alisaie sighs in contentment as she takes the first sip of her cocoa. Alphinaud for his part holds off, holding his mug in both hands, blowing gently across its still steaming contents.
"Indeed." Alphinaud closes his eyes and takes a deep inhale, the picture of relaxed contentment.
Hallima just smiles, content, and picks up their file again. Alisaie watches, deep in thought, before something occurs to her.
"You know if you- hm. May I?" She sets aside her drink and holds out her hands to Hallima.
"Uh. Sure." Hallima gives her the file, confused as to what she intends to do but trusting her intent. Carefully she drags the file across Hallima's claws, and after only a few deft swipes it seems entirely changed; still sharp and pointed, but somehow less obtrusive.
"Where did you learn that?" Hallima asks, curious. Alisaie grows sombre for a brief moment before she shakes it off resolutely.
"At the Inn. Tesleen taught me, while we were taking care of Halric." She says, quiet but unfaltering. "One of the other carers had taught her I guess. It makes them easier to use day to day without blunting them entirely. Or so I was told. You'll have to tell me how well it works."
She files each claw quickly and efficiently as she talks, taking Hallima's other hand when she's done in a movement so smooth as to be muscle memory. Hallima flexes his fingers, forming a fist, and marvels a little at how much a difference the small changes in shape made.
"I'll have to test them out, but I like it already." Hallima smiles. "Thank you."
Alisaie grins at the praise, finishing the last claw with a perfunctory movement.
"Anytime." She says.
"So, Alphin- ah." Hallima stops mid-sentence. They'd thought the boy was being unusually quiet, and it turns out for good reason. Alphinaud is sound asleep, sitting upright and hands still cupped around the warm mug. "Right. It is late, isn't it?"
"A little." Alisaie gives in to the urge to giggle at the sight, reaching out to take the mug from her brother before it spills. Alphinaud murmurs in discontent but doesn't wake, nor does he when Hallima gently maneuvers him into a bridal carry⊠Though he does take the opportunity to dig his hands under Hallima's shirt, seeking the warmth beneath.
"He deserves some rest." Alisaie says, falling into step with Hallima towards their guest rooms. "There's so much left to do in Garlemald, it feels nigh endless, but he's hardly let that stop him."
"Or you." Hallima adds. "You say that like you're not right there with him, carrying the reconstruction of a nation on your shoulders."
"Oh I am, make no mistake." Alisaie says. "And I won't say it hasn't been tiresome, gruelling work at times, but⊠It's good work."
Hallima nudges the door open with a heel and slips into the darkened room easily, setting Alphinaud onto the cot. Alphinaud has to be pried off Hallima's neck, and the Au Ra has to struggle to not laugh and wake the boy at how young he seems in his sleep haze.
"Stay with us?" Alisaie asks. Once that question would have been uncertain, or carried a certain shame at asking for something so juvenile, but now it is anything but. Her voice is quiet but confident; simply a question.
"Of course." Hallima nods. The bed was big enough, and they tended to sleep sitting up more often than not anyway. "Any reason?"
"Not really." Alisaie shakes her head, doffing her footwear and jacket. "Just nice to do it while we can. We certainly miss it during the colder nights, I'll tell you."
"I beleive that." Hallima chuckles. They reach down to remove Alphinaud's sandals- definitely not comfortable to sleep in, and nudges the boy until all three of them fit comfortably. "I'll have to visit once I'm cleared for Aetheryte travel again."
"Oh please, we all know how much you hate the cold." Alisaie says, laying her head against Hallima's thigh as a pillow. She already sounds half asleep. "Didn't mean to set up on one of the coldest places in Eorzea, honest."
"I know." Hallima chuckles. "It'll be worth it though."
Silence reigns, and Hallima doesn't need to look down to know that Alisaie's breathing has slowed into the soft snores of sleep. They smile.
"Goodnight Alisaie, Alphinaud."
#i have been poking at this thing pretty much since i finished the endwalker msq i needed it to be DONE#which is why hallima's pronouns are all over the place. w/e its just a really fluid day for them its fine#borrowing kip's hc that alphinaud's hands hurt when it rains due to the whole nidhogg's eye incident#bc that shit is S-tier hc material#yes there is a story behind the claw thing but i wanted this one to stay (mostly) light#hallima will be fine (re: the insecurity) theyve just been left alone with their thoughts (and wanderlust) too long#the mammets are nice but not stellar conversationalists#flight's making things again#fanfic#ff14#ff14 endwalker#flight's wol tag
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