#mostly just wants to be left alone
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I meannnn
Not exactly
With her personality she can be very rude and actively tries to scare people away
But she doesn’t actually want any harm to be done to them, though she believes that no matter what she’ll somehow cause them harm.
She doesn’t herself believe to be a good person, but deep down she’d rather save someone than screw them over.
*let’s do favorite OC, not primary. I’m sleep deprived sorry lads.
#she doesn’t really care as long as it’s not her problem#mostly just wants to be left alone#to protect herself and by extension others#Reblog#Norah Gallagher
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would jamie get along with a person similar to him, or would they be sworn enemies?
i had to think about this. but, honestly: he probably just wouldn't talk to them!
#keyframes asks#jamie porter#he mostly wants to be left alone so he just assumes most people do lmao
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The path of the Hunt seems a bit self-contradictive.
Yes, most of the Hunt characters are proactive, energetic, enthusiastic, and singleminded, but 'hunt' in the traditional sense implies murder. Whereas most of it's characters seem to be motivated by the sanctity of human life, to a certain extent, or the idea of protection at all costs. It's usually not obvious at first glance but becomes clear when you get to know them a bit better.
Seele, who seems unfriendly and gruff at first, whose singular concern is the safety of the Underworld
Yanqing, an arrogant and overconfident child who, without hesitation, challenges two ancient legendary warriors to protect the people of the Luofu.
Sushang, who is called 'naive' in her Character details, is already a Cloud Knight at 15, who spends her days helping others and protecting the people of the Luofu.
Dr. Ratio, whose underlying philosophy of "all lives are worth living" is hidden under his stern exterior.
Topaz, whose methods are absolutely messed up and horrible, but her sincere goal is to give the people of Jarilo-VI the best chances to survive, whether they want it or not.
Boothill, who pulls a gun at everybody he meets, seems genuinely offended when Aventurine accuses him of killing his bodyguards.
#honkai star rail#my stuff#seele#yanqing#sushang#dr ratio#topaz#boothill#dan heng#DH is notably absent from the list because he doesn't fit#probably because he's actually a Destruction character in disguise#I mean he mostly seems to want to be left alone#to just peacefully work in his archive#he does care about his friends#but only to certain extent#he did risk his freedom and probably life#when he returned to the luofu to protect his friends from blade#only to completely forget about it#and join blade to beat up a child#yeah I still can't believe how awful some of the writing in the Luofu story ark was#it's as bad as if in 2.3 boothilll joins the ipc and proceeds to steal candy from a baby on their orders
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#applied for a promotion in work && i’ve litch been flip flopping over if i should regret it or not every 20min ☠️#bc i feel like it’d be fuck easy & id get paid a little more; but i don’t wanna tell ppl what to do! or rly have more responsibility lol#i just wanna get left alone to do what i want in work mostly#ppp#(& harry’s like; you know you’ll have to be louder right?? you’re not doing this bc u got pushed into it right??#*you’ll have to have authority u get that right??’ yh man obvs! but that’s not the case for any other TLs rn! they’re sure not doing shit)
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it’s the 90s in my monkee universe where davy lost his mom young like he did irl and they are watching the land before time because, yknow it seemed like a cool newer movie and peter LOVES don bluth films so they happened to pick it up from a video store after it left theaters so they’re all at home on the couch snuggled up and then they get to the scene where the sharp tooth attacks and mike sees it coming and has a hand on davys arm immediately and sure enough theres a dying mother scene.
davy stiffens a bit but says he’s fine and so mike squeezes davys hand a bit but then eventually davy starts to sniffle and mikes like “okay that’s it micky pause it.” and despite it having been so many years since his mom passed and him having been so young at the time, something still hits davy, especially seeing a kid in denial that his mom is going away because he just assumed she’d always be there!
but davy is determined to push past most of his babyish ways of the past so he keeps assuring mike (who is holding his face and looking into his eyes) that he’s fine between breaths. but mike is in full mumma mode because davy became his baby forever and always, and they turn the film back on and it’s all fine but mike holds davy extra tight and snuggles up to him throughout the rest of the watch and davy can’t help but push himself into mike and cling onto his shirt because mike is there for him and he does love him so much.
#the monkees#mike nesmith#davy jones#peter tork#micky dolenz#mumma mike#this is something i don’t know if ive ever actually typed out but i got randomly into the land before time a while ago and thought of this#davybaby#or… post davybaby i suppose?#in this they’re older cause it’s the 90s and after his father passed in 72 davy started regressing real hard#(mostly after one really lonely trip to england to help with his father)#(he had some panic attacks because suddenly he was thrust back into evrything he left and called mike in the middle of the night freaking#out because he felt all alone and mike promised he’d never#have davy go to england alone and that he’d stay with him next time)#so throughout a lot of the 70s davy is on and off baby mode pretty hard#and at some point in the 80s he decides to try to stop it and goes all stoic and NOT little#but mike is now so attached to his little one and davy… despite trying to act like he’s not… is so attached to mike#and mike wants davy to be able to do what he wants but is also conflicted because it’s definitely not good for davy to ignore his emotions#which the guys usually helped him process through regressing#they all figure it out don’t worry it’s just hard for davy but he’s got his friends. they’ve all got each other and they love each other so#so much#and davy gets so many snuggles and hugs and kisses don’t you worry#okay goodnight folks i’m sorry for the lil davy rants
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gruxime makes me a little insaneeeee esp from maximes perspective cus its like. damn. a hell of my own creation.
#like even outside of shipping or w/e if maxime hadnt embarrassed gru at homecoming they cld have been friends. more even#meeeee when im miserably unhappy in my group of friends trying to live up to something i can never be#instead of being myself w ppl who get it#it does make me smile that they seem to be on good terms at the end of 4 and makes me think that like. maybe gru never rllyyyy hated him..?#like to maxime it was world ending catastrophe but gru likes destroying ppls will to live for fun even as a kid#autism to autism communication… FAILED.#undecided on if gru wld have liked maxime back or not. at least in canon#ummmm. i think it cld be possible. but in a weird confused rivarly kinda way#like maxime is so bad at giving mixed signals that gru genuinely cant tell if he likes him or wants him dead for ages#like when ppl go ‘oooh hes just being mean cus he likes u’ but like. genuinely#um kind of a tangent but my thoughts for gru at lpb is that he mostly keeps to himself and doesnt rlly have any friends#but he dgaf (effect of literally never having had anyone close to him b4)#in comparison to maxime who is all abt cliques and surrounded by ppl …. but still alone 😔💔#i do think some of maximes friends wld be actually nice tho. like in the same position as him#everybodys just trying to fit in. u know#anyways i think gru wld spend 99% of his time either alone or chilling w the minions#but its just nicer for him to mostly be left alone instead of bullied by like. the whole school#btwwwww interesting that when maxime mocks him at the reunion 1. everyone laughs and 2. gru looks surprised that everyone laughs#like hm damn maybe having crazy popularity and connections pays off. Damn.#he doesnt seem to be bullied while actually at the school as ppl cheer for him at the show#i think this is maybe a byproduct of gru being considered a failed villain in the current day#HEY BTW i thought it was a littleeee strange that gru being an avl agent isnt like. common knowledge among villains. seems like big news#that wld have leaked somehow. but idk maybe he got lucky or the avl covered it up#but damn after the reunion they DEFINIETLY all know. cld be an interesting setup to dm5 [blinks cutely]#lol. anyways. my thoughts
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living alone is all fun and games til you have a medical emergency and there's no one there to help you to the hospital
#eliot posts#im fine now it's just last week's Incident fucked me up a lil#a couple online friends offered to call me an uber#and i maybe could have woken my neighbors up (though i would have felt awful abt that)#but while i was figuring out how to get to the hospital and if i'd be able to like#verbally communicate to whoever was driving where to take me#and explain to the doctors what was wrong with me#and fill out the entrance paperwork#and find my wallet/insurance card and my housekeys before i left#...i had gone unconscious before i could make the decision to find someone to take me#luckily i was mostly fine after i woke up#i knew it wasn't an ''i'm gonna die if i don't go to the hospital'' type medical emergency so i didn't call an ambulance#bc i was not abt to bankrupt myself unless i was Literally Dying#but yeah. eugh. 0/10 do not recommend.#at the VERY LEAST i'm gonna need to have good friends that live very close in the future#i don't want this kind of thing happening to me again#i am gonna be roommates with a very good friend in a few months after i move to the city#and then i'm probably gonna be roommates with a different very good friend in a couple years when i leave the state#both mostly out of financial necessity for us all#but also i thiiink i want to go back to living alone eventually?#unless living with friends goes so great that it changes my mind#it's just like. for the most part i've loved living alone#not just in a ''yay i'm no longer living with my abusers!'' way but like. in general.#i can do whatever the fuck i want in my apartment without having to talk to anyone#chores get done when i want. food gets cooked and eaten when i want. i can take a 2 hour bath no problem. i don't have to close doors.#i can walk around late at night without having to worry about waking anyone up.#when my social battery is drained i know that no one will try to talk to me. when im overstimulated i don't have to tell anyone to be quiet#it's like. the thing with me is every social interaction has a timer where i start thinking#''GOD i cannot fucking wait to go be alone in my nice empty apartment again''#that timer is much longer for some people and situations than others but it is always There even when i'm having a great time
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its the Good Kush she got it at the dollar store :3
#i did this! :D!#extremely unfortunately ffor my hands i realized earlier that ibis paint x has an animation canvas#rip me#sketti#doodles#animated doodles#gifs#i hate animation i hAte animation i want to do so many things its so cool 😭😭#i so very rarely have the energy/motivaation to do just *one* drawing let alone 5000 of them but Slightly To The Left#eugh#used a tutorial thing have had in my saved folder on insta for ages for the smoke#to be clear that is a ✨joint✨ not a cigarreette#my wrist hurts so much#full time hasnt been fun ive had to avoid playing games because the controllers hurt too much#trying to limit typing even and just mostly watch things when im off work#which gets boring ;w;#theres so many things i want to animate i cant even beGIN#from full on like..legitimate movie length shit from my books#to little gifs of really dumb memes#music videos etc#everything in between#i just get so frustrated at how long it takes#and am always so tiired:((((#but i!! made this:3#in like an hour too i think#shes goin in my reactions folder#fursona
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i havent spent enough time thinking about laws thoughts on when acton went missing. thinks about it.
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#i think it was a period of like a couple days between when it just seemed like a nocall noshow (which wasnt that surprising given how fucked#up actons been for the last several months and 100x more so now since law got revived and [scene i also still need to draw but#tldr it traumatized acton further] and then when people went looking for him at his house they realized oh hes GONE gone#and the news was especially slow to reach law because people walk on eggshells around him already let alone talking to him about ACTON#and law wanted to not care. and i wouldnt say he DID CARE but he wanted to know but also didnt want to LOOK like he cared#so he refused to ask people and just slowly heard through the grapevine (he probably couldve guessed too but actons already been trying to#avoid him at work for a whiile)#and he had weird feelings about it. because he hates acton obviously. but now that hes gone he's just left to fester in his hate#that was never Really towards acton himself as a person as much as just what he represented (his old life having to 'rely' on someone etc)#and in his weird fucked up selfish way he DOES deep down miss him. but again mostly what he represented (a time when he was happy#and the person who really made him happy)#fuuuckkkkkk i think i might still be sick in the head about law. fuuuuuuckkkkkkkk man i hate that guy#mumbling
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gee i wonder why im struggling to focus and draw so badly today i must just be tired! yes! im very tired, this must be it.
#dad got admitted to the hospital on saturday and i was told at 4am before the most stressful work shift i've had in a very long time#he was supposed to be released today but theyre keeping him longer now to be sure his medication is going to work#the fact they arent certain is making me have the most passive anxiety attack i've had in a long time so i'm just literally not able to dra#tomorrow i go back to work in that same stressful dept left mostly alone and i really dont want to i just want to go back to my dept rn#i didnt realize how stressed out i was until i stepped back just now to realize my head is going 500 miles an hour.#its okay to not be okay but now i dont know what to do with myself bc i have not had focus issues like this before.
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Also
I NEEDDDD to draw my oc that is Ellen's gf in my ihnmaims AU bc I'm obsessed with everyone's relationship in this AU and she needs a design bc I love hers and AM's relationship in my brain
#puffy talks#its like based on the game kinda#ted; gorrister; ellen and benny manage to escape at the end instead of dying bc nimdok had instructed/made a plan with ted#but since the three AMs are locked or whatever from their computers bc of nimdoks spirit; they put their consciousness into sometype of body#i always thought of like the am we know as being mostly the american am so yeah#the russian and chinese ones are put into one body that i shouldd design#anyway#am still is trying to go after the survivors and he does find ted and convinces him to take him to the others#but since am can't do much bc hes a small robot creature in a body he had been building but never finished he just#sticks around#theres nothing else to do type of mentality and he prob doesnt want to be alone#in the meantime; Abigail; that oc; was part of a survivors group (kinda fallout vault logic but they had left it) and got separated#and shit happens type of au
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so I was looking up the tenets for lolth’s paladins and I found this little list. not sure how canon exactly this is but I thought it was interesting -
kind of laughing that shri’iia does the exact opposite in act 1 which leads to her oath breaking. she girlflopped so badly lolth decides to drop her ass then prob hunt her ass down for being an embarrassment and a failure. like girly was not exerting her power at all - it’s her first time in the surface ever and she’s surrounded by people who could literally kill her any given moment (considering all the stories she heard abt how surface dwellers hates drow) not to mention that the tieflings you encounter when you see lae’zel were ready to attack you that just fueled her paranoia. > she was not sowing discord at all she was laying low and keeping her mouth shut …!! she has no allies here! and she doesn’t know where she is! and there’s an illithid tadpole in her head! it would be foolish of her to paint herself as an enemy when she’s already so out of her environment so she keeps her mouth shut … thoughts to herself … bides her time and sees who’s useful to her and who’s not … she can always get rid of the ones that she doesn’t need later but for now she’s seeing what she can work with first …… > have a plan… shri’iia had no plans…. at all. she was following lae’zel around because the crèche was her only lead … but then they mentioned a druid named halsin who’s a very good healer so she turned her objective to that … then a goblin mentions their priestess is a healer too so guess she’s looking for her as well… honestly who thought making the drow who’s never been to the surface and literally does not know where she is or what she's doing the leader of the group a good idea….. in my hc the leader is gale
#but I’m like 🤭🤭🤭 at the idea of shri’iia being considered an embarrassment by Lolth just bc apparently lolth paladins are pretty rare#like she doesn’t give her blessings easily and they mostly go to her clerics but to a paladin … and for someone who’s not noble birth too….#like she had potential ..!! she was mentored by a matriarch of a noble house ..!! but then she flopped soo badly 😭😭#and I hc mid/the end of act 1 she still hasn’t accepted that she’s an oathbreaker and she’s still delusional thinking that she can get#lolth’s favour again it’s like no 💗 girly. she hates your ass 💓 if you ever return to menzoberranzan she’ll turn you into a drider probably#and it’s only in act 2 where she accepts that she is an Oathbreaker. and she does Not need Lolth. and Lolth doesn’t deserve her (delusion)#but I love that idea for her bc she was So proud of herself … and she devoted herself to her goddess to the point that her sense of self is#essentially Gone.. but then she gets rejected. so now the thing she’s most proud of is taken away from her#by HER own actions no less .. like she can’t blame anyone bc it’s her own fault ..!! and that’s what stings more ..!!!!! she’s the one who#fumbled the bag … so it’s like where do u go when the very thing you dedicated your whole life to rejected you#and you’re so far away from home. and you CAN’T even go back home.. where do you go. no choice but to keep going….#then she eventually accepts the role as an oath breaker bc it's the only thing she has left. her oath no longer binds her ; every choice#she makes is hers and hers alone.. which is so ..!! girls when you're faced to reclaim your own agency or else you'll fall into the void#you're left with ...!!!!!!! also it is so perfect bc the oathbreaker dialogues are all abt freedom and agency of self.#being free from dogma and making your own decisions! and you also want others to be free too …#and the fact that the oath breaker knight helps you make that decision I hc she becomes similar to him as well#where if someone chooses they want to be free she will help them … but it has to be their own choice …#which ties in perfectly with the act 2 and 3 quests esp for the companions .. all abt making ur own decisions …#so the leadership role goes from gale then to her …#should be heading to bed bc I have an early start tomorrow but hrk head filled w thoughts of my oc...#but act 1 shri'iia is essentially her getting such a bad grade at being Lolth-Sworn Drow that lolth disowns her 😭#im so ill at the thought of her not being able to return to menzo tho ... i dont think the underdark is safe for her either like she should#b getting hunted like sport .... maybe thats why she released the vampire spawns down there lol#like <3 revenge. everyone loves revenge especially an ex oath of vengeance girly <3
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I have two month old kittens. They are young, innocent, and malleable. What fun stuff do I start these babies on so it's normalized for them as they grow up? *tents fingers*
I know multiple of these will be beneficial, but for the sake of this poll...
#reblog for sample size if you want#no pressure tho#this is mostly just for goofs and giggles#I've never had cats this young so I'm kinda excited for trying to raise them in ways I haven't been able to with other cats#they're already being acclimated to being held handled and checked over a fair bit#while respecting their boundaries too#working theory is that cats will be more chill with what you're doing if they know you'll let go of them when they ask#so they get picked up and held and then put back down soon as they wiggle#paws get played with and massaged and left alone when they pull away#that kind of thing you know?#I love them a lot#it's gonna kill me having to give some of them away
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thoughts.......................
#admitting to a lot here but I'M TIRED. the implications!! ugh whatever....#observations after being made aware of certain happenings in fandom spaces. state of the union i suppose.#yeah. sucks that often i'm concerned about leaving a like on certain posts or a kudos on certain types of fics for fear of the wrong person#seeing it and deciding to call me out. as if i'm some influential blog! what does it matter? but hmm. some fandoms are lame asses over stuf#there are good authors & people i'm friends with who have insightful takes and posts. and talent! but i'm a coward. because of the content.#and i feel like a fraud when i talk about being against censorship & say 'do what you want'. clearly i'm lacking since i feel hesitation.#i wish people could mind their business. & either not be so repressed or force repression on others. can't we all just get along?#it really wasn't like this maybe 5-10 years ago. more towards 10. i hate what happened to fandom so much.#why am i admitting this now? maybe to force myself to speak up if i ever see harrassment in the future.#because i never spoke up in the past and i feel shitty about it.#people might even be talking about and making stuff i'm not actually interested in but i don't think it matters!!#it's all fiction and fandom and genuinely mostly harmless. leave people alone???? maybe????#i just want to leave nice comments on my friends fics & to other good writer's works that might have a higher rating ok??#and not face a 'saw you at the devil's sacrament' situation#which in itself is hypocritical but i still don't want to face it! i just want to be left alone!! good writing is good writing!! ahh#i could make another blog but why? i have nothing original to say i just want to not feel judged for giving a like or leaving a comment#end scene.
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had a very intense semi lucid dream last night where i was the daughter/acolyte of an insane cult leader/my dad who performed non consenual surgery on me and molested and raped me. it inspired me to start writing a lil sci fi novella but also to clean out my closet and find my vibrator cuz i was desperate for it after waking up lmfao
#he had like. grown me & a few other and inserted more and more mechanical parts into us through our lives#so we were mostly machine inside. but human-looking outside#and i tried to run away and got the shit kicked out of me by my sister/fellow cult member#she patched me up most of the way but for the complicated stuff dad had to help#one of my arms had been broken so he just cut the whole thing open to fuck with the wires and stuff. it felt so awful guhhhhh#and after that he started trying to finger me and asking questions about wether id slept with anyone while i had been away#and told me he knew id been touching myself and that made me disgusting and corrupt and that was why id tried to leave. and he had to fix#my mind too.#there was blood on his fingers when he pulled them out of me and he got so so pissed#i was crying and trying to explain i was on my period but he said that was a lie and id been trying to hide more injuries from him so he#couldnt finish fixing me#and he spent a solid twenty minutes beating me for it while groping me & continuing to finger me#he had a metal arm n that was the one he was using too so i kept getting cut and bleeding more and hed yell and hit me more and he just#wouldnt stop 😵💫😵💫#i was tied down by my wrists laying on my tummy but he forced me to roll over so he could punch my stomach a lot too ;-;#toward the end he got on top of me and started grinding against me#talking to me nice again and saying i was his girl and he just wanted to make me better and i only had to cooperate#i was sobbing and panicking still but he was just petting me#he tried to push his cock in me but he like. couldnt fit.#he could only get a couple inches in and he stayed sweet for a little longer but then he started getting frustrated#yelling at me to stop fighting him and slapping my face#and i was trying so so hard to relax and let him in so it could be over but i was just too small#he gave up after awhile and finished cleaning me up without saying anything then left me alone down there. still tied down and crying.#that was only one part of the dream there was a whole plotline where i had made contact with 2 people (a brother and sister) on the outside#who were trying to save me. and i was trying to talk my sister into leaving with me because i was so terrified of losing her#eventually i did get out and ended up living with the brother and sister and it was super cute and sweet#parts of the dream were from her pov too. she made us all matching hats :]
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and once again I am suddenly overwhelmed with an intense feeling of not really fitting into a gender
#honestly I don't even know what this is about I just saw some stories on insta and it's like oh look#she is so proud to be a woman whoa ppl...actually do that huh#and I just realised I never really felt that way like. not fully!! maybe a bit of that yeah but not to this full extent of this#womanhood thing#and I mean yeah I probably felt more of it in my teens and like 20s but it only just occurred to me that it's never been to this full extent#of being womanly and motherly and nurturing etc etc#and now I do not feel like that art all I mean I mostly am a creachur. a divine being. if you will. a freak#and I love it tomorrow I'm gonna go try on some skirts which I haven't done in ages and I'm definitely gonna be doing it in a queer way#not in a girl way#anyway#I know this is really weird going on tag rants here where nobody except a few of my mutuals (hey guys love you lots thought u should know)#is gonna see let alone read this but I really don't have anyone irl to talk to abt gender stuff and I mean I tried?#but just idk. ppl don't get it? like everyone in my life already knows I'm queer and they sorta hand wave it away like that is too#complicated and not that important - and it isn't!! but it also is!#I think they might have been more understanding and sympathetic if I were trans but I'm not and being nonbinary is somehow too difficult for#them to grasp idk#and when I say I don't want to be a different gender and feel increasingly outside and to the left of my assigned gender the more I think#about it they just. do not get it. and it is kinda discouraging and leaves me feeling like not talking about it with them ever#I don't know why I'm writing all this tbh#gender#queer things
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