#mostly just for fun

[sirenjose]

Theory: Lily's Maid = Martha = Alice's Colleague?

(Crack theory, not really serious. Just a silly thought)

What if the lady helping Lily (maid?) against Lily’s alcoholic father is Martha (Coordinator)?

Or even, what if: Lily’s maid = Alice’s Colleague = Martha?

Originally, I wrote this theory out as what if Lily’s mom could be Martha, but I had a few other ideas part way through that made me switch to wondering about the other lady we see in Lily’s trailer.

Martha’s mother wanted her to be the “perfect wife”, a “house angel”, lady-like

Everyone in Lily’s household looks well off and nice enough clothing. Considering how well off this family is, and the tasks she had, it’d fit with Martha having “beautiful script” in the past based on her 2nd letter.

And if she is a “maid”, she is helping take care of their house (manor) and having to act lady-like (and respectful and such).

Martha says in her 3rd deduction that she had to “organize, appoint, teach the maids and arrange all financial expenses wisely” + Margaretha Hari’s profession was stated to be a “teacher”.

Lily’s family did have maids (that could be “organize[d], appoint[ed], and [taught]”.

We know Lily’s father was “unappreciated and unloved”, but he did have enough wealth to give Lily a “carefree childhood”, just not as much wealth and some others, so having to be “wise” with it to an extent makes sense (Lily was said to have been “pampered” by her family, so he was just more free with it for her, before the accident).

He’d have to use some of his wealth to start his “Barriere Family Sports Show”. And we know he had financial issues after Simon’s accident.

Martha had good horsemanship skills + joined the cavalry

Lily’s father started his “Barriere Family Sports Show” at the Kreiburg Racecourse, with Simon being a jockey. Not to mention Lily’s parents and Simon were said to be passionate about sports, most notably horse racing.

Theory: Maybe Martha wished she could’ve been a jockey too but wasn’t allowed to due to the expectations placed on her.

Henry was Martha’s fiancé, but her primary interest in him was because he was a pilot

Based on Martha’s appearance and stated age (whether or not its completely true is unknown), as well as Henry only being Martha’s “fiancé”, it doesn’t fit as well if Martha was Lily’s mom and married with 2 kids. But a maid, in comparison, could fit.

Theory: Maybe to parallel Martha’s 7th deduction (Martha liked Henry mainly because he was a pilot), Martha was in love with Simon (or at least pretended to be) due to him being a jockey (and this was her way of getting closer to what she actually wanted to be). Maybe he at least talked to her about it (being a jockey).

Theory: if Martha did care about Simon at all (or at least as part of her act), maybe that’s why she’d stay and help Lily when her father becomes violent and alcoholic? As we know Lily frequently visits Simon to cheer him up.

Martha still unable to become an actual pilot

Theory: Martha still not an actual jockey

Theory: What if Martha did somehow get a job helping at the racecourse? At least the day the Barriere Family Sports Show opened? It just wasn’t as a jockey. If Lily’s father organized it, it’s possible Martha could ask him to have some part in it, just not the job she wants.

Theory: Martha’s 10th deduction mentions a “worker with their head in the clouds”. Maybe if she did get a job, but not the one she wanted, she did have her “head in the clouds” that day. And maybe somehow because of that, either the accident was able to happen, or she was unable to help Simon?

Henry gets into an accident

Simon’s accident during the sports show

Theory: Henry is never explicitly stated to have died due to his accident. Simon didn’t die due to his either, he was just very seriously injured.

Martha wants to end a particular “business” and guarantee her own safety. She is also aware of the DeRoss family tragedy at Oletus Manor and mentions not wanting to “trouble that gentleman”

Theory: Maybe the business she wants to “end”/leave is her working for the Barriere family, especially after Lily’s father becomes an alcoholic and dies, with Lily and Simon dealing with financial issues. Maybe that “gentleman” is either Lily’s father or Lily’s grandfather aka Count Barriere. Count Barriere and Dennis DeRoss apparently knew each other to some degree, so that could be how Martha might be aware of the DeRoss tragedy.

She’d also know Baron DeRoss due to Lily’s Lending Certificate, as Lily is now who Baron DeRoss owes money to (due to debt from purchasing Oletus Manor most likely).

Maybe for some reason Martha needs to get away from Count Barriere (maybe she found something out or did something?). Considering how powerful Count Barriere is implied to be, that could explain why she needs a whole new identity and her safety guaranteed.

Maybe she’s talking to Baron DeRoss pretending to want to get away when actually she wants to help Lily ensure she gets Baron DeRoss to pay his debt?

Misc

Martha’s 4th Letter?

In this letter, Martha appears to be a “Captain” (if Michiko’s 4th letter, she’s referenced as an “Officer”), on a mission, and potentially tied to intelligence gathering (and spying, based on the morse code, fake names, various train tickets, the bit with the tobacco being poured out purposefully to replace with a chemical smell). As a “maid” (compared to having to marry to Lily’s father, which would require much more time and much less freedom), she easily could’ve gotten the job with a fake name and everything, potentially for the purpose of her intelligence gathering or whatever her mission is, which maybe could be why she needed to get close to people like Lily and her family (including Simon and/or Lily’s father).

“Or is she just like that alcoholic of a woman?”

Lily’s father was an alcoholic. Maybe he drank dovlin, so maybe Martha could’ve met or at least learned about Demi that way (and maybe this could be why she refers to Demi that way? After her experience with Lily’s father?)

Server (Maid Martha) vs Maid Martha…?

End Note: It could be that Alice’s colleague is someone else, that the maid in Lily’s trailer is no one important, or even that Lily’s mom could be the colleague and just that the colleague isn’t also Martha. I’m also aware that Martha’s deduction could all be entirely fake/lies. As I said, this is just a silly thought that I’m unsure could be true at all but felt like sharing anyways just for fun.

[heartbreakincident]

nothing but respect for our troops (smut writers) but listen. i dont want to be the person to tell you this, but not every character is going to be a dom or a sub. some people. and i know this is hard to hear. but some people do have vanilla sex. and some of those people might even be The Character.

[aphel1on]

AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be

EDIT: seems this is more common among ND people than i thought, and probably not limited to AuDHD specifically :] i was just describing my own experiences and didn't expect this post to blow up, so don't take me for an authority, but i'm glad it resonated with so many of y'all

[all-my-ocs-are-evil]

[insert poetic title here]

fun fact: this did not start out as isat fanart

(rambling in tags)

[starrynight-edits]

will you ever think of making more dancestor pq sprites like your aradia one?

Im not sure what you mean by the aradia one im assuming that was Aranea autocorrected but yes! Im planning on doing atleast one edit for all the dancestors except maybe cronus just cause i dont like him (i might idk yet), if not making 5 or more sprites to go with each one. Thats a long term project though cause like im just doing it for myself, as in im not being commissioned so im less inclined to do it quickly and more just at my own pace not saying anyone has to commission me for more of them im just a slow poke. I just want them done so i have reference sprites to go off for dancestor edits. More than likely my next set will be kankri because i have a request that involves the use of a kankri pesterquest sprite on the agenda.

TLDR: yes!

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

[wanologic]

always good to keep a screamhole handy

[leafwhirlwind]

I feel, personally, like not enough people focus on the fact that in this iconic big tiddy moment

Falin is. Splattering someone’s brain on the pavement like a fine ragù.

Splat.

[your-bait-and-swich]

Random Date Everything characters NSFW headcanons

Characters featured: Hector, Parker, Lux, Dunk

Ageless/minors DNI

Hector

His favorite part of sex is not actually the sex itself it's the foreplay before anything.

He loves to tease your body by gently moving his hands around your body, and soft kissing anywhere he can like it's some sort of worship. He tries his best to make you squirm and relishes it

This might be a surprise, but most times he doesn't like being a bottom yet he doesn't like to be a dominant top either. He's definitely a soft top wanting you taking the lead, and tell him how to please you

That's not to say that he minds being a bottom but he prefers to help you

Definitely not avoid to be kinky specially if his God wants it. He loves doing anything and everything he can to please you

Except for pain and degrading. He would never even let himself insult you let alone hurt you. the most he'll do is biting and very light choking. Phantom choking basically.

He's actually very silent during sex, and masturbating. The vents aren't really that private you know

Most you'll hear in sex is small panting, and whines but he'll give you more noise if you request

Probably goes without saying, but he loves when you're somewhat demanding. Don't be too cruel about it, but he does love someone that knows what they want

He also wants to know he's doing well. Please praise him for anything he does right for communication sake, and his praise kink

He love's adding temperature play anyway he can to your love making

If you were cold/hot he would make purposeful effort to make his body the opposite so when he touches you, you would feel all the more

Subtly raise the heat slowly forcing you to strip more and more

Occasionally when you're in the middle of sex he'll use the grate on his outfit to blow one thing of cold air to shock you

Aftercare is a must every time. He does not let himself rest until you are clean and taking care of

Lux

(Not sure where to put this but I did give them a dick despite them not having a confirmed sex I think so keep that in mind I guess. I'll keep from doing this in the future tho)

I hate them *proceeds to make these anyway*

When they said you guys only have sex when they wants to upload something on Fans Only they means it. It's hard to convince them when they're not in the mood especially so when they're in the middle of a stream

But if you convince them mostly by sucking up to then they'll end a stream like "I guess that's it for today's stream luxxies! Make sure to check Fans Only soon byeee!~"

Recordings, live and photos are a given.

And if you're lucky enough even outside of Fans Only "Don't count on it"

They're most definitely a grower. A absurdly nice grower bigger than you'd expect. Along with that they're very smooth not having any body hair.

They moans like a pornstar. It's unclear if it's for the recording or they're just like that

Very into exhibition. They don't mind anyone watching honestly they're into it frankly. If they're in the mood it's happening no matter what

Also slightly masochist very into hair pulling and one or two nice slap on the ass

Obviously mostly a bottom, but if they feeling particularly devilish they'll top

When they top they do it to prove a point/a punishment

Favorite "punishment" is you choking on their dick for sure

They love too cum on your face then lay their dick on your tongue. It just makes you so pretty for their Fans Only

They'll say stuff like "good girl/boy/slut" in a condescending way to you after taking these punishments

You will at least have to have a threesome once with some other person Lux choose

Parker Brandley

Good fucking luck buddy

First you got to win that love dice roll and now you need to somehow make board games sex related or it's not happening

Lucky for you strip poker does technically count. Maybe not a board game but it has clear rules and if Uno counts this can count to. He will not let you get away with using this all the time tho

Despite how stingy he can be with it he's very easy to work up. Just a little too much skin and/or touching a certain way can give him a boner instantly

He's quite nervous. Being awkward, and fidget quite a bit for your first time, but he quickly gets into the groove after a bit

When you finally get to the stage of actually doing something he's a feral animal with it

Massive switch! He doesn't really care what way it goes

Bottoming he's very noisy, and reacts very intensely. Unless you gag him the whole house is going to hear his semi screaming

Topping intense, and quick. Boy does not waste a second he acts like it's the end of the world as a plows into you speeding up.

Still a delightful mix of serious and a bit goofy during sex "Ohohoh~! Holy fucking shit!"

When he's more comfortable he'll probably confront you directly for his wants. "Whoever wins tops" he says putting a board game in front of you abruptly.

If you do cheat he will deny having sex outright tho

Nothing sexy like orgasm denial just straight up denying sex maybe for multiple days depending how pissed he is. You only get orgasm denial privileges when you play rightfully and you try to distract him in the game because it's only fair then

He's secretly not really so secretly a pervert his eyes widening cartoonously if you wear a skimpy outfit. Looking over your body secretly whenever he can (it's very obvious)

I feel in my heart of hearts that he is a thighs guy and he wants to be crushed by your thighs so badly

Dunk Shuttlecock

Let's just say it up front and right here you have to tell him if you want sex. He will not and won't catch on to hints or innuendos

His mentality on sports is similar to the mentality he has with sex. He just wants it to be enjoyable doesn't matter how fast, slow, intense, goofy, as long as your both having a great time

Tho if you ask him to give you it to you rough oh he sure will but the chance of you accidentally getting a bruise from it and him apologizing after is higher then maybe preferable(depending who you are) but it's a small risk for a unbelievably great time

However regularly he still has pretty good pace at least enough to make you a little weak after

His stamina is crazy willing to do like 3 to 4 rounds if you're up to it of course. He'll makes sure not to exhaust you too much taking decent breaks in between rounds to get yourself prepared

He's doesn't take sex not all too seriously grinning like a goof, and sometimes giggling

If you're the ticklish type he would definitely tickle you randomly during sex just to hear your laugh

He would be so into funny role play sex. Porno quality stuff as you both try to keep a straight face

Think of stuff you typical would expect like jock and cheerleader, jock and nerd, ect ect. Maybe even a pizza delivery thing too

He's not against a little exhibition. Sometimes grabbing you by the wrist to go somewhere more quiet

Something something shake weight joke

Eats pussy like a champ I know he does. That's not to say he's not good with a dick too [insert shuttlecock joke]

Naked yoga into sex. That's it

Quite a big fan of cockwarming while cuddling in between rounds or after sex

He's naturally a top and prefers being top too but if you ask him cute/sexually enough he'll gladly take the back seat

[mahikoto]

from soriku week 2020, a false memory

[thatgirlonstage]

Okay okay I wanna play

Spin the wheel for a Shakespeare character!

Reblog for sample size, etc. Would love to hear what you got + reasoning in the tags!

[wtfforged]

my campaign hiatus has gone on for too long so to cope ive combined my interests at their maximum potency and had some dnd-strawhats thoughts

thoughts in depth under read more... :)!

this is SO self indulgent. their designs literally did not change. but i am a firm believer that dnd doesnt have to be european high fantasy. and also one piece literally IS fantasy. no changes are necessary to fit into dnd. ive already imagined plenty of campaign/oneshot ideas inspired by one piece. so this was basically just an exercise of trying to replicate their canon abilities in dnd 5e as much as possible without totally homebrewing everything. well. aside from luffy. you just cant take away or change his stretching.

LUFFY: (human monk. drunken master subclass. outlander)

the only plain human of the crew to balance out with the fact that he still has rubber powers. obviously a monk. but drunken master subclass specifically because i think the flavor(not the fact that its about being a drunkard) and abilities both fit him really well. this line in the subclass' flavortext especially fits him: "A drunken master often enjoys playing the fool to bring gladness to the despondent or to demonstrate humility to the arrogant, but when battle is joined, the drunken master can be a maddening, masterful foe."

ZORO: (tiefling fighter. samurai subclass. bounty hunter)

a fighter with the samurai subclass is so very incredibly obvious... but i actually had a lot of fun geeking out while comparing the abilities to what he can do in canon; Fighting Spirit, Rapid Strike, and Strength Before Death especially! tiefling is also pretty on the nose for his demon pirate hunter shtick and asura form, but i thought he'd be really human-passing for a tiefling and theorized about his tail getting cut off at some point or another before joining the strawhats. initially wasnt gonna give him a feat, but i gave sanji a feat so i thought itd be unfair to not give him one as well, so sentinel fits the bill pretty well i think!

NAMI: (tabaxi rogue. arcane trickster subclass. criminal)

cat burglar -> full grown literal humanoid cat. this one is INCREDIBLY self indulgent... i love... cats... theres nothing deeper to this and no other reasoning. i took cat burglar and ran with it. can you tell that i love izutsumi dungeon meshi? rogue for the aforementioned burglar-ing as well, and the arcane trickster subclass for when she picks up climatact! the mage hand will be very useful for her pickpocketing. in the future as she levels up with timeskip, i can totally see her multiclassing into wizard as well! weather wizard!

USOPP: (lightfoot halfling artificer. artillerist subclass. urchin)

I HAD SO MUCH FUN THINKING ABOUT HIS CHARACTER SHEET. halfling's Naturally Stealthy ability lets him hide behind his crewmates since theyre (almost) all bigger than him, so its perfect for hiding behind zoro or sanji all the time. Lucky is also perfect for him, and I think Brave fits pretty well too when he puts on the sogeking mask. artillerist artificer is also very fun! tinkering and making magic items for his crew, and i think Eldritch Canon or Arcane Firearm could both be easily reflavored as kabuto or any of his inventions. for emphasizing his sniper-ness, the spell sniper feat was also necessary. i think hes my favorite of all the concepts. big ears and long nose combo is so cute to me.

SANJI: (half-elf monk. drunken master subclass. guild artisan (cook!))

race was mostly based on vibes i wont lie. squints. and that vinsmoke balogna or whatever too ig. but mostly vibes. along with the idea that i think a dwarf zeff raising him would be really funny and cute. monk is also obvious, and same subclass as luffy for mostly the same reasons. though the flavor fits him much less, i think the abilities still fit him perfectly, and this blurb specifically; "Your martial arts technique mixes combat training with the precision of a dancer." i really wanted to give him a different subclass from luffy, but i dislike all the other monk subclasses a lot and i found none of them fit him as well anyways, so to try and give them SOME differences, i gave him the crusher feat.

CHOPPER: (awakened deer(shifter statblock) cleric. life subclass. hermit)

this ones definitely a mouthful im sorry. awakened deer for obvious reasons, but due to magic instead of devil fruit stuff. when i was struggling with his race, i looked a lot at shifter because of his forms, but it occurred to me that itd be super cool if he could shift between all of the different shifter options instead of being stuck with just one to replicate his rumble balls. something like heavy point/guard point=beasthide, horn point/arm point(?maybe?)=longtooth, walk point/jumping point=swiftstride, and brain point=wildhunt. hed definitely need some kind of nerf though to balance out that homebrew... and cleric for class. duh.

ROBIN: (high elf wizard. order of scribes subclass. criminal)

robin is definitely the one i struggled the most with just because of her class. elf came pretty easily- shes very elegant and i think shed look cute with super long ears- and i landed on high elf instead of wood elf for the int-based abilities. i was really on the fence between sorcerer and wizard for her because i knew shed be a full spellcaster, but i didnt feel that any of the subclasses really fit her. i ended up going with wizard for order of the scribes since it focuses on texts and knowing everything. but also because robin with a flying talking sentient book would be crazy cool. it could also be similar to how she spawns mouths and eyes places to talk to or watch people. my "fuck it, why not. this would be rad. its my house" mindset kicked in with her i will admit. also the One with the Word ability made me cackle out loud when i read it. thats the funniest ability ever. anyways, i cant really think of a way to replicate her powers, but maybe we could just reflavor a bunch of spells to be her limbs or clutch; hold person, maximillian's earthen grasp, or evard's black tentacles. thatd probably work okay, and theres a handful of spells to replicate her ability to spawn eyes or mouths. unrelated, but i imagine nico olvia to be a drow. why? her hair is white. i am a simple man!

[egophiliac]

just something I wanted to try! (tumblr please don't absolutely destroy this, thank you)

[shaykai]

Still thinking about Gortash’s coronation and how smoothly he cuts a Durge off from their companions (and wishing we had a follow up with that)

The first words out of his mouth are that he cares about them- anybody else who remembers Durge has only distain for them, but not him- he’s happy to see them, he missed them, they’re his favorite assassin and he’s only glad to see them alive

And then he takes it a step further by providing insight into their past, something Ketheric refused to do for them- and Gortash isn’t dumb. He knows exactly how Durge’s companions will react, knows that he’s effectively outing Durge when he so easily could have pulled them to the side instead

And when their companions snap at them and refuse to look at them, Gortash is still smiling. Suddenly, he’s the nicest person in the room. Suddenly, everything is unstable and dangerous- but he likes you. He’s sitting there with open arms while the companions are rightfully so mad with Durge, but Gortash is more than happy to resume their alliance

He’s more than happy to be their sole source of comfort again, and isn’t he just so sweet for that?

[pastabaguette]

i have to put the meowrails into every new thing i get into. it’s simply the rules.

i tried to imitate jjba’s art style here, i hope that’s apparent enough. they are supposed to be 17 in this au, simply because it was easier for me to reference rather than 13.

i have a few ideas for potential stands for them, but they’re not done yet. we’ll see.

(sorry if their clothes suck. i have no idea what i’m doing.)

[d0gtoothjones]

unremarkable commute