#mostly because my dad was constantly pressuring me to and I didn’t like that

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

The HORROR of hearing your little five-year-old voice singing awkwardly along to a pristine backing track because your dad was just dying to shove you in front of a mic and produce a song as soon as you could enunciate words semi-intelligibly.

[talktonytome]

Ok I couldn’t stop thinking about this post and how Eddie’s cultural background impacts his life so I’m adding some of my thoughts:

re: repression and emotions- unfortunately for those who subscribe to the machismo part of our culture, they are taught to repress emotions- boys&men shouldn’t cry, suck it up, showing pain is weak. And we see that with Eddie and his Dad, who ingrained that so much so Eddie resorted to unhealthy outlets (like cage fighting-another macho thing) and he was having panic attacks because his feelings and emotions had no where to go. He was so reluctant and skeptical of therapy (again another machismo/ Mexican thing)

re: being forced to grow up too fast- when he was a BOY, his dad told him he had to be the “man” of the house now and take care of the family, which segues into getting Shannon pregnant in their teens. By his dad’s measure, he was a man right? He was expected to get married and assume the role of husband and provider. And sure, religion plays into it as well. he felt pressured and never had the time to think what do I want to do? And as is the case for so many to escape their situation, he joined the army and boy do you grow up fast there.

re: relationships- he married his first serious girlfriend when they were so young and even though they loved each other, people change so much and they weren’t given the option to consider not being together. Eddie mostly assumed the role of provider because he didn’t know how to deal with everything going on, especially with Christopher. (btw I don’t think it’s fair how harsh some ppl are about Shannon bc she was left alone with a kid and Eddie’s parents who hated her) He wasn’t there to be a husband or a father because, as he said himself, he left first and ofc he felt guilt over that. His only impression of love and their relationship was stagnant and frozen in time. When he reunited with Shannon, he was only maybe just starting to get closure when she died and he fell into that grief and never let himself fully heal from it. After being with Christopher again, he fully took on the role of father and that is all he was. His subsequent relationships did not work because he was really looking for a mom for Christopher and again didn’t ask himself what he wants, he struggled with relationships, and as a result, the women he tried to date suffered.

We know that his aunt constantly tries to set him up with people and oh god if that isn’t relatable. If you’re Latinx, we hear it all the time! “Cuando te vas a casar?” (When are you getting married?) “No tienes novio(a)?” (You don’t have a gf/bf?) “Deja the presento a” (let me introduce you to). There’s this pressure and stigma about being alone and Eddie goes along with these set-ups, women that are not chosen by him so ofc it feels like a performance. (I mean dating already is when you’re just getting to know someone.) and there’s the expectation in our culture that you need a partner and nuclear family to be complete.

In conclusion, I wish more people could see the influence and impact all of this has on Eddie’s life and decisions, and how he’s hispanic man forced to grow up too soon and become a dad-coded. I wish that nuance was considered more often, and my hope for season 8 is that he finally breaks it all down and figures out what he wants and who he wants to be!

[oleander-nin]

If your request are open, could I request a few headcanons with the Rise Turtles?

The reader found a turtle mutant child alone in NYC and took them in because the parents abandoned them after they mutated. How would the Turtles react to their s/o or crush suddenly being the new mom to a turtle mutant?

A/N, not important: Thank you for the ask, and if you're ever curious about requesting, you can check my pinned post which has my requesting rules linked. This one was tough for me because I personally love kids, and used to volunteer at a daycare camp type deal, and it kinda shows through. This kinda ended up being more about the child than them w/ you. Sorry. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

Tw: My writing, kids, Mikey's part mentions future marriage, Donnie suggests adoption

Words: 400

Summary: ROTTMNT turtle's s/o becomes the new parent of a mutant turtle. Yay, responsibility...

Mikey:

Surprised, but willing to help.

Thinks it’s literally the sweetest thing you took in the small mutant.

Wants to make sure you’re okay with everything and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

He’s really worried for the kid as well, and wants to make sure you’re both doing okay.

Supports you with the kid to the best of his ability.

Offers to bring you food more often so you can focus more on your job and taking care of the kid.

Tries his best to build a proper relationship with the kid.

Mikey loves you, and wants to possibly marry you in the future.

If this kid is now part of that future, he’s on board.

Donnie:

Is mostly indifferent to the new child in your life.

He thinks it was a noble act, but a vastly unnecessary one.

In Donnie’s mind, you don’t need a kid. You’re only a young adult and haven’t figured your life out yet.

Why adopt some random kid when there’s a yokai family out there waiting with possibly open arms?

Anyways, Donnie got yelled at for his hypocrisy because SHELLDON.

Shelldon is more excited than Donnie.

Donnie helps if you ask, but leaves you to it for the most part.

It’s your life, he doesn’t care too much what you do with it.

Plus, seeing you act sweet to the kid is nice.

Raph:

Gets happy when he meets the kid.

Thinks you’re an angel for taking care of the kid when you technically didn’t have to.

Brings it up to Splinter on accident.

Now you have a rat-man giving you childcare advice.

Helps with anything you ask.

He wants to spend time with you, and now you are constantly with the kid, so he spends time with the kid too.

Bonds with the kid pretty quickly.

Leo:

Is concerned, but helps where he can.

Like Donnie, he’s concerned because you’re still a young adult yourself, and he doesn't want you to get overwhelmed.

To help, he ends up becoming the kid’s dad more or less.

Gets really excited when the toddler laughs at one of his jokes.

Instant acceptance, will steal the child from you if possible.

Almost co-parents?

He likes the kid, and he likes you, so he has no problem helping out whenever he can.

Bribes Mikey to babysit so he can still go out with you alone though.

[justabigassnerd]

The Perfect Gift

Pairing - Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Mitchell!reader

Word count - 3,144

Warnings - mentions of Goose & Carole so a smidge of angst but mostly wholesome Christmas fluff!!

Song - The Perfect Gift by Joshua Bassett

Summary - Rooster is determined to make this the perfect Christmas ever. Only problem? He can't find the perfect gift

A/N - Happy Christmas y'all! I rise from the dead once more to provide a Christmas fic for y'all! I love this song so much it's definitely one of my top Christmas songs and it's definitely a song that could work with Rooster. Anyways I'll stop rambling and let y'all get on and read. As per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

In the run-up to Christmas, Rooster had been worrying his ass off about what to get you. You’d been together a couple of years now and he was beginning to run out of ideas on what to get you, especially because you didn’t show much interest in anything. Despite it not being your first Christmas together, he still wanted it to be perfect. He even enlisted the help of your dad, Maverick in finding a gift, dragging him around countless malls and shops to try and find the perfect gift for you. It was the first Christmas since Rooster had allowed Maverick back into his life since cutting him out when he pulled his application to the naval academy so Rooster wanted to utilise having Maverick around and recruited him to help him hunt for presents since he knew Hangman would’ve rather done two hundred push-ups than help Rooster with his dilemma.

“Bradley, you know she doesn’t care about what you get her. Christmas is special because you’re getting to spend time together. She cares more about getting to spend time with you than any gift.” Maverick had said as Rooster dragged him into yet another jewellery shop to look at what they had to offer.

“I care about that too. But I want this to be perfect. I love her so much and I don’t know what to get her when she’s already the perfect gift.” Rooster said, and the second those words left his mouth his eyes widened, and he knew exactly what he wanted to do.

“I got it! Okay, I’ve just had the best idea I got some work to do. But I need you to help me out.” Rooster says quickly, gesturing for Maverick to follow him and as the two men walked out of the shop, Rooster began to explain his plan.

When it came to Christmas, Rooster’s gift for you was finally complete but as it reached Christmas Eve, he began to second guess himself and began to wonder if you’d like the gift or not. He constantly put himself under a lot of pressure and you always reassured him that you’d love it no matter what.

“Bradley, honey, you could get me an empty box and I’d still love it because it was from you.” You said sweetly as you pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, helping him to calm down enough to lie beside you in your shared bed as you snuggle into his side. As you always did, you rested your head on his chest and found yourself being lulled to sleep by Rooster’s steady heartbeat while his hand made its way to your head, messing with your hair and helping to drive you closer to sleep. However, despite how much sleep had taken a hold of you, you managed to mutter out one last ‘I love you’ before giving in to the clutches of sleep as a smile made its way across Rooster’s face.

“I love you more, sweetheart.”

The next morning, Rooster was awoken by you nuzzling closer to him for warmth as the duvet clearly did very little to provide you with warmth and Rooster, as always, accepted the opportunity for more cuddles, especially on Christmas morning. Rooster smiled to himself as you cuddled as close as humanly possible to him, you’d always said that Rooster was your own personal heater, and he never doubted your words for a second since more often than not he’d wake up with you half on top of him trying to maintain warmth. But you’d never catch him complaining about it. He wrapped both his arms around you and embraced you fully, pressing kisses to the top of your head as you begin to stir slightly. You clung tighter to him as you began to blink your eyes open, squinting at the light at first before your eyes adapted. Once you had woken up you looked up at Rooster, a tired yet happy smile on your face.

“Good morning baby.” You whisper as Rooster leans down to press a gentle kiss to your lips in greeting.

“Good morning, and Merry Christmas.” Rooster replies once the two of you have parted for air.

“Merry Christmas to you too.” You say with a smile before attempting to get up only to be stopped by Rooster’s strong arms tightening around you and pulling you back into his side as you laugh.

“Bradley, we have to get up.” You manage to say through your laughter as Rooster buries his face in your shoulder and tugs the duvet right up to your shoulders.

“Nope. It’s Christmas so I think we deserve some cuddles in bed if you ask me.” He mumbles, his voice muffled by your shirt as he moves to pepper kisses along your neck and jawline.

“Okay, we can cuddle for a bit, but we do have to be at dad and Penny’s for lunch like we promised.” You say, giving in to your boyfriend’s request almost instantly.

“You mean you promised Mav we’d be there.” Rooster retorts jokingly as you roll your eyes in response.

“It’s the first Christmas since you two made up. Christmas doesn’t need to be split up anymore because my boyfriend refuses to be within five feet of my dad.” You say with a raised eyebrow as Rooster pulls away slightly, sitting up and avoiding your eyes out of embarrassment.

“Oh, Bradley I’m sorry that was a bad joke. I’m over the moon that you and dad are getting along, really, I am. It makes me so happy you two are getting on. It means I don’t have to spend time with one or the other on days like this. I get to be with both of you.” You say, sitting up, cupping Rooster’s face gently, and lifting it so his eyes meet yours.

“I’m sorry, baby.” You apologise once more, leaning forward to rest your forehead against his.

“I’m sorry too. My anger towards Mav put you in a bad situation. And I’m so sorry for it.” Rooster then apologises, making you lean further into him, so your lips connect.

“You don’t need to apologise. I understand. How about we both stop apologising and cuddle for a bit more before getting up, hmm?” You offer, watching as a smile crosses your boyfriend’s beautiful face once more before wrapping his arms around you and flopping back against the mattress with you laying atop his chest as you both laugh. The two of you lie in bed, enjoying each other’s embrace for a few minutes before you decide it’s time you should get up and start the day. You get up first as Rooster pouts, with you pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“I’m going for a shower. I won’t be gone forever, pretty boy.” You say before disappearing into the bathroom and the familiar sound of the shower running starts as Rooster lies in bed, going over how the gift he has could go down with you. He tries to keep his mind from running by focusing on the humming he hears coming from the bathroom and takes some deep breaths. Before he knew it, you had emerged from the bathroom, allowing him to get showered while you got changed. When he’d finished his shower and got changed, he joined you downstairs where you were pouring both him and yourself a cup of coffee as well as preparing breakfast. Rooster helped to finish breakfast which the two of you ate before taking your coffee cups into the living room where the Christmas tree was sat waiting with gifts underneath from each other and your fellow aviators. You decided to open the gifts from Dagger Squad first, laughing to each other when Rooster continually unwrapped more and more Hawaiian shirts to add to his never-ending collection of them. You unwrapped a variety of different items from each aviator and the two of you sent a message to each of your friends thanking them for their gifts before you move on to gifts from each other. You got Rooster a few different gifts, some of his favourite aftershave, and a new book of sheet music to play on the piano. But your final gift was a special one. You gave Rooster a Hawaiian shirt that was a carbon copy of the one his dad used to wear. You knew his original one had gotten lost in a move and Rooster had been beyond devastated so you spoke with your dad, who found a picture of Goose with his bright blue Hawaiian shirt on and the two of you were able to track down a similar shirt.

When it came to Rooster’s turn, he was sweating buckets when he handed you the first couple of gifts. He and Mav had been able to track down a few small things you’d like before he got to the main present. He got you perfume and a new pair of earrings before he told you to close your eyes so he could run upstairs to grab something. When you opened your eyes at his request you saw him sat in front of you with his guitar in hand.

“I’m going to be honest. Getting you something this year was the hardest it’s ever been because I wanted everything to be so perfect for you and so I kind of wrote a song because how could I find a perfect gift when the perfect gift is you?” Rooster says, making you smile widely as he begins to strum on his guitar and sing.

As Rooster began to sing, every lyric of his song brought memories of your relationship into your head. The first kiss the two of you shared under the night sky after Rooster took you out on a date. Holding Rooster as he sobbed when he found out your dad pulled his papers. He was initially angry at you too until you managed to calm him down and convince him of your innocence. You remembered being there by his side as your dad walked into the room the day of your first training session for the uranium mission, holding his hand to soothe him as your dad took over from Cyclone. You remembered every little detail about Bradley Bradshaw that you loved. The scars on his face that you loved to kiss. His sandy-coloured hair that you loved to run your hands through. His gorgeous singing voice that could overpower every patron of the Hard Deck when singing ‘Great Balls of Fire’. How he was the most badass aviator but was the sweetest guy when the two of you were at home. How he made you feel loved and protected. He was your best friend, and you were grateful you were able to love a man like Bradley Bradshaw.

When he finished his song, you wiped the tears you hadn’t realised had fallen down your cheeks and clapped as Rooster gave you a sheepish smile before putting his guitar to the side just in time for you to launch into his arms for a hug and a kiss.

“Did you like it?” He asks nervously when you pull away.

“Was the fact I tackled you into a hug and kissed you like there’s no tomorrow not a good enough answer? I loved it, baby.” You say, wiping the remainder of your tears before moving to sit opposite Rooster.

“I’m glad you liked it. You actually have one more present. I put it in the tree.” Rooster says as you stand up from where you were sat on the floor and start searching the tree but not seeing any sign of the present he’s talking about.

“Bradley I can’t see anything. What’s this all about?” You say, eyes still scouring the tree until your eyes land on a piece of paper nestled in amongst the pine needles. You grab it and open it carefully seeing the words ‘turn around’ written on it and you do as the paper says, folding it back up to ask Rooster what was going on before you gasped, dropping the paper at the sight before you. Rooster was on one knee with a small velvet box in his hands, a gorgeous ring settled inside as more happy tears began to well in your eyes.

“y/n Mitchell. You’ve been my best friend my whole life and I’m the luckiest guy in the world to get to call you, my girlfriend. But I’d be even luckier if I got to call you, my wife. You’ve been with me through thick and thin and there’s no one else on this world I can imagine spending the rest of my life with other than you. Will you marry me?” He asks, making you nod repeatedly before words were finally able to escape your mouth.

“Yes! Yes, of course, I’ll marry you!” You exclaim happily as Rooster stands up to pull you into an embrace hugging you tightly before your lips crash with his. Both of you were smiling too much so the kiss became two smiles pressed together but you were both so happy you couldn’t stop smiling. When you pulled away, Rooster took your left hand in his own and slipped the ring on your finger, grinning. You stared at the ring in awe before a spark of realisation overcame you.

“Is this… your mum's ring?” You ask cautiously, remembering when you were younger, and you’d see this ring shining on Carole’s hand. That and her wedding ring being a way to keep Goose with her.

“Yeah. She gave it to me before she died. She said to use it when I met the right girl. But between you and me I think she wanted it to be you from the get-go.” Rooster admits, both of you smiling as you look back at the ring. You knew that Goose and Carole were watching over their son and that they were probably cheering like they were watching a football game when he proposed.

“We should probably head to Mav’s, huh? Tell him the good news?” Rooster then says, smiling knowingly as you quirk an eyebrow.

“Something tells me you and dad were in on this together?” You ask as you grab the gifts for your dad, Penny, and Amelia before putting on your shoes and heading out to the Bronco.

“I did most of the work. He just gave me his permission to propose to you.” Rooster says as he climbs into the car, starting the engine and beginning the drive to your dad’s house. When you arrive you and Rooster grab the gifts and knock on the door to be greeted by your dad who throws the door open.

“I take it from the fact that the two of you arrived together everything went well?” Your dad asks, looking over at Rooster as he nods, lifting your connected hands and showing the ring glistening on your finger.

“Congratulations you two. I couldn’t be happier.” Your dad then says, bringing you into the house before engulfing you in a tight hug.

“Thank you, dad.” You whisper as he hugs you tighter.

“I’m so happy for you sweetheart. You deserve the best and Bradley is the only man I trust to provide you with nothing but the best.” He replies, making you laugh lightly against his shoulder before you pull away.

“Come on. Let’s tell Penny and Amelia the good news.” Rooster then says, gathering up the presents you had put down so you could hug Maverick and heading into the living room to join the two.

"We heard you in the hall. Congratulations you two!" Penny says happily as Amelia grins.

“There goes the surprise then. Merry Christmas you two.” You and Rooster greet as you settle down on the sofa, handing each gift to their respective person and watching as they unwrap them. When the gifts have been exchanged Penny and Amelia turn to you.

“Let us see the ring, y/n.” Amelia all but begs, both of them leaning closer when you extend your hand towards them so they could get a closer look at the ring.

“Oh, it’s gorgeous, y/n.” Penny gushes, admiring the ring as Rooster winds his arm around your waist, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Not as gorgeous as her.” Rooster shamelessly flirts as Amelia groans and Maverick slaps his hands on his thighs and stands up.

“And just for that disgustingly cute comment. You’re on dinner duty with me. Come on in the kitchen.” He says, gesturing for Rooster to follow him into the kitchen while you stay in the living room with Penny and Amelia to have a catch-up.

“She’s lucky to have you, you know.” Maverick’s voice cuts through the quietly playing Christmas music in the kitchen as Rooster looks up from where he was peeling potatoes.

“I’m the lucky one.” Rooster replies with a laugh as he hears you telling the two in the living room how the proposal happened.

“Goose and Carole always had a bet going that you two would end up together. I was against it because I hated the thought of my little girl dating anyone, but I was very wrong. There’s no one better for her than you.” Maverick then says, memories of his old friends coming to the surface as he remembers him and Goose watching the two of you one day as you toddled around on the beach when Goose made the offhand comment that he was sure the two of you would end up together in your future.

“I miss them so much. I just wish they could be here.” Rooster manages to say after a brief silence. Thinking about how much he wants his parents to see him get married to the woman he loves most in the world.

“I miss them too, kid. But I know they are so proud of you. You were their world Bradley, so I know they’ve been cheering you on every step of your journey. I want them to be at your wedding just as much as you do but I know they’ll be there in spirit. They’re still with us.” Maverick says, turning to face the man soon to become his son-in-law. Rooster nods at his words with misty eyes and Maverick wastes no time bringing him into a hug which Rooster welcomes. When he pulled away, he thanked Maverick quietly and wiped his eyes of any potential tears before hearing your laughter coming from the other room, which brought a smile to his face. He was already so excited about getting to call you, his fiancée. But what he couldn’t wait for was to be able to introduce you to people as Mrs Bradshaw. His wife.

[two-tyred-problems]

F1 ask game!

got tagged by @kazoologist!! Thank uuuu I love talking

Who is your favourite driver?

Oscar Piastri!! And also Logan, my favourite unlucky guy :,)

Do you have any other favourite drivers?

I like most of the grid, but especially Lewis, Yuki, Alex and Zhou!

For non current drivers, I gotta say my fellow Germans, Nico Rosberg and Sebastian Vettel

I’m also taking this as my cue to say how much I love the F1 Academy drivers! Especially Doriane cuz I was following her even before she joined! But also Tina, Lia, Chloe and Abbi (Some of them are really carrying their teams, Amna is making that VCarb suit actually look good)

Who is your least favourite driver?

Daniel Ricciardo, I’m guessing. Sorry for all his fans but I already disliked him before the DR hate train started this year, some of the stuff he said really irks me

Also Carlos kind of because he constantly has beef with my favourite driver and I’m currently not too fond of Lando either (cuz of the Trump stuff :/)

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?

Teams as well, although I mostly start out liking them because of the drivers! Williams for example (and Gee, you’re so real, I’d also kill for Lia Block)

If you like teams, what team do you pull for?

Williams and Mercedes, Williams because I liked their drivers first and then started to like the team in itself too. I like Mercedes mostly because it’s one of the first f1 teams I knew and my sister is a big fan!

If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?

I would simply not. I’d maybe be convinced to do marketing but I can’t even manage my own schedule

But if I really had to, I’d go for Sauber probably? Not the pressure that’s on teams like Ferrari, scandal free drivers, a marketing team that tries to rebrand Zhou as wizard and a cool colour scheme. Would even dye my hair neon green again as a publicity stunt.

How long have you been in F1?

Not thaaaat long to be honest, since August last year probably but I got even more intensely into it a few months later, after I finally got how everything works

What got you into F1?

It’s a long story comprised of multiple small stories basically

I always watch Top Gear/Grand Tour with my dad and one day they reviewed the McLaren Senna and I thought it was a super neat car, because of the glass in the doors and I decided that McLaren will be my favourite Luxury Car brand now.

I slowly got into cars a bit, but not really motorsport itself until we went to an outlet Center and I got myself a cheap Mercedes AMG jacket, because my Uncle is a huge AMG fan and I liked the cars. After I bought it I noticed that it said F1-Team on it too, so I followed the Merc F1 account cuz I didn’t want to get asked about it and then not know anything.

A few months later we went into the Gran Tourismo Movie and one of my friends and I loved it so much we started getting into motorsport. Then I followed the McLaren F1 account because of their previously mentioned car I liked. That’s probably why Oscar is my favourite driver. (I still remember being super confused when my friend tried to explain all the rules to me when I could only remember like 6 drivers)

Do you enjoy fanfic/rpf?

I can’t say I read it, although it’s also inevitable to stumble upon it sometimes. It’s just not for me but I ain’t judging people for it, there’s weirder stuff you could do.

How do you view new fans?

I still consider myself a kind of new fan, even more so in MotoGP, so I can’t judge! But even in fandoms I’ve been in for a long time I like meeting new fans because it’s a cool thing to share your passion for something!

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?

My sister currently is (because i forced her to watch races with me) and a lot of my family watched it like 30 years ago but not anymore. My uncle likes motorsport but thinks F1 is too elitist (which, fair point, but still)

I have one friend who’s into it as hardcore as me. The rest of my friends just listen to us ramble lmao

Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?

100%! I don’t know how to actually start talking to people because this is the first tumblr account I made to intentionally share what I say but rest assured, I love making friends and chatting with people, even if it’s not about motorsport!

[the-winds-of-destiny-xxx]

Gonna start being a brave girl and logging what happened during my day (when I feel like it) as text posts rather than tags so here goes 😭.

Work

Work wasn’t too bad today. Only did a half day so it wasn’t nearly as tiring as the 12 hour shifts. Was assigned a 1.1 today which means I was in a patient’s room with them all day monitoring their pulse, tidal vols and oxygen levels and making two sets of notes. The more detailed set was taken every 30 mins and the less detailed set every hour. They are fairly easy to take care of. Unfortunately they’re mostly bed bound but they like music so I put on lots of songs for them throughout the day to keep them entertained. They usually wave their hands in the air and shake their head when they hear a song they enjoy which I find quite sweet. Also I make sure to keep their hair brushed and skin moisturised throughout the day.

Whenever I’m assigned to that patient my work crush tends to pass by their room a lot and then we’ll make awkward eye contact with the odd smile lmao. Sometimes light convo if he’s feeling brave that day 😭.

Uni

Still haven’t got a reply from my personal tutor regarding the exams I messed up. I’m hoping they don’t fuck up my ability to pass the course overall. Dad has said that I shouldn’t worry and that if I have to repeat the year he’ll pay my tuition but I don’t want to have to repeat the year. I just feel so shit because it was poor mental health that made me fuck those exams up. I was in a really bad place, doubting my capability and didn’t bother submitting an MCF because I thought my mental health wouldn’t be taken seriously as the people in charge of it seem reluctant to give out extensions, allow you to defer etc but we’ll see how it goes.

Kinda scared for this essay coming up but I’ve been working hard to make sure I do detailed analyses of the papers supporting my arguments so I’m hoping it goes well.

Mood

Feeling so weird rn. My mood is shifting from anxious and depressed to emptiness. I can be hard on myself sometimes but it’s because I’m constantly thinking about where I’m from (3rd world country where most are unable to continue their education past college due to finance issues) and where I want to be (neuropsychologist or something similar). Most people in that field don’t even look like me and the odds never feel like they’re in my favour so it stresses me out but I don’t want to give up.

I’ve also deleted hinge and bumble lmao. I always say it will be the last time but I think this time it actually is. I think if I meet someone it’s gonna have to be organically. Not gonna put any pressure on it. It will happen when it happens.

[mostlymaudlin]

Instagram husband? 👀🤭

@thewholelemon asked for this too!

so, some may be familiar with my great british bake off au, Nothing Equals The Splendor. this takes place in the same universe! it's another one where im not sure why i didn't finish it, because it's over halfway done.. but whatever lol. im actually going to put the rest under a read more because there's a HUGE spoiler for the original fic!!

soooo if you remember, simon won the championship. and now he has to be really active on social media to reap the benefits. and baz makes it his mission to ensure that they have good content to post LOL, so he's constantly taking pics of simon (like an instagram husband). the fic is actually told in a collection of outsider POV vignettes -- niall, shep, dev, and penny -- before coming back to simon/baz povs.

now that im looking at this, i think the reason i stopped writing it is that there's Tension that arises between simon and baz bc of all this social media stuff and i kind of didnt want to deal with it once i got into their heads -- bc the outside povs were so fun!! esp bc i loved my versions of niall and dev in this verse.

i'll give you the full dev pov scene, because why not lol:

I didn’t expect Malcolm to take Baz’s whole new thing well. Baz’s dad has always put a lot of pressure on him. I don’t think he expected Natasha Pitch’s son to grow up to be a queer socialist. (Baz’s politics are kind of bullshit since he’s still paying rent and tuition with Daddy’s old family money. But so am I, so I can’t really judge.)

Anyway, I certainly didn’t expect this: Malcolm and Baz’s boyfriend chummin’ it up at my grandmother’s garden party. Simon had expressed mild interest in Malcolm’s newest magickal livestock endeavor (Literal fire-breathing guinea pigs. Inspired.). It devolved from there. 

I’ve always maintained that my uncle Malcolm is a softie underneath it all — mostly because I know that’s how Baz is. The Grimms are sensitive folks. And as soon as you give their weird niche topics a spoonful of attention, they fall apart like putty in your hands. You should hear Baz wax on about baking, it’s insufferable. But also very sweet. 

Or maybe Simon Snow has some kind of secret key to a Grimm’s heart. 

“Wait, my American friend taught me this one,” Simon says, reaching his hands out for Malcolm’s youngest kid, Swithin. “I've been working on the railroad / All the live-long day. / I've been working on the railroad / Just to pass the time away!”

They’re several drinks deep, passing Swithin back and forth on the steps of the back porch and singing him nursery rhymes. Malcolm just finished a rousing rendition of Ladybird, Ladybird! that made Swithin coo with laughter. 

“Dinah, won't you blow, / Dinah, won't you blow, / Dinah, won't you blow your horn?” Simon’s voice is carrying now, Swithin bouncing joyously on his knee. 

Daphne and I are standing nearby, watching the whole affair with wide eyes. 

“What is happening right now?” Baz hisses. I jump — I hate when he sneaks up on me. Stealthy motherfucker. 

“Shhhh,” I say, putting a hand on his shoulder. “They’re bonding. Nature is healing.”

Daphne laughs at that, loud enough that both Malcolm and Simon look over at us, cheeks equally pink as they realize they’re putting on a show. Daphne takes out her phone and takes a photo of them. She’s lucky the porch lights are on — the sky is a dusky purple at this stage in the evening.  

“Could you please send that to me, Mum?” Baz asks, his voice small. I’m worried he genuinely might cry. 

“It can go on my Instagram!” Simon calls over. Baz grins, walking over to sit next to him on the steps. Swithin reaches for Baz, and he swoops him up, kissing his forehead. Then he leans over and kisses Simon’s forehead as well. 

Malcolm doesn’t even flinch.

[that-pissed-off-tolkien-blogger]

Okay so here’s the work update

So, I believe I posted that I got my appendix out earlier this year. That was a whole fiasco with me being in the hospital twice and missing a bit over a week of work. When I came back from work, no one had told me I needed to get doctor clearance to be back even though the person I would have sent it to WATCHED ME LEAVE WORK AT LUNCH FOR EMERGENCY SURGERY! This bitch would continue to be a fucking problem. Anyway, so work made me use all of my leave even though I was like “no don’t pay me I need my leave for something else.”

Fast forward to me putting in my leave for that something else, my study abroad in Scotland. It was roughly a two week study abroad, but I said fuck it I’m gonna stay in London a few extra days after, I deserve it - not that I told work that. I put my leave in and turns out someone is already off at the same time. In my request I put “for mandatory study abroad class”, implying I didn’t have a choice and this leave was happening no matter what. I get an email from that same dumb cunt as before saying “we can’t let you take this, someone is already out then and it’s too long.” I email back with “as per my initial time off request, this is for a mandatory study abroad for a Master’s Program and I have no control over the duration or the time” - corporate speak for “can you fucking read?” So a huff and a fuss later and they allow it because it’s a school thing, but in the meeting about it I am told to my face, in slightly round about words, that if I am off for anything other than illness or something unexpected like a death in the family, I will be fired.

Now, this would not be a problem except for the fact that prior to even being hired at this place my dad had booked and paid for most of the family to go on a cruise - literally everything was paid for including airfare and excursions and it came to around $40k which is basically my entire fucking salary after taxes. So, no way was I going to miss that - ironically I ended up sick and missing half the cruise anyway but that’s a story for later.

Anyway, now I basically have a death sentence over my head. But I keep chugging along with the plan to quit while I’m in Scotland. That’s when work starts getting worse. I was taking three classes at the time, which for a Master’s Program is pretty much full time. I am also working full time and I’m doing catch up work for school after being hospitalized and incapacitated for the second half of the first week of school and the first half of the second week, so two weeks for all intents and purposes. I’m also healing from surgery so I should be resting. Nope, I’m constantly running on 2-4hrs of sleep, which is not healthy normally and an absolutely terrible idea if you’re supposed to be healing.

I’d been doing a bit of homework at work at this time, but mostly saving it for lunch and then the odd small thing during large gaps between patients. Because of the lack of time and pressure I started working on homework all the time between patients. Note, another one of my coworkers was also in school for some kind of a nursing license (LPN, RN idk). So what happens, you ask? Well, I start getting scolded by the head nurse for doing homework. MEANWHILE she and the other nurse were FUCKING HELPING THE OTHER GIRL WITH HER CLASSWORK IN FRONT OF PATIENTS. Double standard much? I didn’t give a fuck so I kept doing homework but the “you better not be doing homework back there” and “are you doing homework” got old real fucking fast.

The end of my semester was in sight so I was under the gun in school and dealing with going in every day to a work environment where I was being treated poorly by the people I worked closest with - FYI the docs? Yeah they were all onboard with me doing homework at work and would say things like “you have to get it done whenever you can”. So finally, I said fuck it. There’s no way I can finish all of what I need to read and do before the end of the semester and go to work if at work during my fucking downtime I can’t do homework - and by downtime I do mean I had done everything in the office I could including restocking and cleaning like I made fucking sure that everything work related that could get done was done. And then one morning I got dressed for work, drove to my mother’s and then quit via email, shut my phone off, and went to sleep on her sofa.

Anyway that’s if. If anyone has questions or needs elaboration on something lmk. Anon is always on.

[stickythoughts1989]

The Signs Part 2: perfectionism & the worthiness rules

From a young age I put a lot of pressure on myself to be a certain way. My little brain came up with rigid and relentless rules for who I was meant to be and how I needed to be, to be worthy of love and acceptance. 

These “rules” were formed based on environmental and societal cues, causing me to have very high and strict expectations of myself. I had to look, act, and exist a certain way or else. I severely feared what may happen if I didn’t live up to these expectations. Because then it would mean letting people down or causing more pain. These became my biggest fears in life, which guided and dictated my every move.

Sure, on the surface I seemed fine and happy. I was mostly excelling in school, minus mathematics (lol), and I had a thriving social life–I had a full roster of friends plus a laundry list of creative hobbies and passions. 

I was a “good girl” or as my dad puts it “a star” – but I was that tiny, cute, little person at my own expense. I pretzeled myself into someone I thought I had to be rather than letting myself gently, slowly, and compassionately create myself into the young adult person I wanted to become.

And because of that, I became an adult woman who worried constantly about who I was to others. I saw myself through a warped perception of how I thought others perceived me. Was I liked? Was I enough? Was I too much? Was I worthy yet? Did I say or do the right thing? What if I did something wrong? Did I upset someone? Was someone else leaving, too? 

I chased worthiness but it was never quite reachable. Whenever I passed some arbitrary milestone of “success” I felt a wave of euphoria and relief come over me but it was only temporary – my intensely hostile self-critic always kicked in again. The only thing that felt within my reach was expecting myself to be perfect and living by the worthiness rules.

At every twist and turn of my journey, I doubted myself. And so I overcompensated. I became secretly compulsive. I fooled myself and everyone else into believing I was okay. I was good. I was happy. I was thriving.

I appeared to have it together but what was happening beneath the surface was something more sinister – I was sick and I didn’t even know it. The signs were there but no one had put the pieces together yet.

[relativelydefected]

I want to come clean and just make a post about everything that has gone on with me the past few weeks.

I recently went through an episode of deep depression where I was questioning my life choices. The pain had gotten so bad that I felt the need to be hospitalized. I made this choice while difficult I felt it needed to be done. I had been holding back these feelings for months and was reluctant to get the help I felt I needed due to my family’s situation and my responsibility as a mother and the only care giver to my children. The pressure of life, the pressure of being a single parent, the stress and the thought of my mothers health and inevitable passing was just too much for me to handle. So I finally decided to get help.

I wanted to make a vlog about this but it would become too emotional and I would be stumbling over my words to get anything important out. So I chose this as my outlet.

I was at Kent Hospital for 4 days straight. Waiting for another bed to open at another hospital. In these 4 days I experienced probably the worst 4 days of my life thus far. People who were drunk, people who would scream get into fights, people throwing up, people crying. Codes being sounded off at all hours of the night. I was in a room with a new room mate every night and 4 walls. A bathroom with a door that could not close and every thing could be heard. A phone in the middle of the room where everyone could hear. Absolutely no stimuli other then the tv that would have cnn on but couldn’t be heard because it was in a room that people slept in. My brain was melting for 4 days from the lack of boredom and nothingness.

On the 3rd day I called my mother to check on her only to find out she was in the hospital with my father. I had found out she collapsed at my daughters school while picking her up to bring her to daycare. My heart collapsed. I became short of breath in that moment I knew I had to leave. My first thought was of her second thought was it was my fault. Third thought was I had to get out of there cause I couldn’t put her through anymore stress. I let the staff know and they said that I couldn’t be released to the next day.

Next day came and they told me they had a bed for me at the other hospital but by then I was done. Done with waiting, Done with worrying about me and worrying mostly about my mother. But they said that if I did not go to the hospital they would hold me at will. Which meant it wouldn’t be my choice anymore.

So they picked me up brought me over to the other hospital where they took 3 hours to do my intake just to find out that all I wanted was to leave. I did everything in my power to just say what they wanted to hear just to get me out of there. Rushed through all the paperwork. And did a discharge plan in which I would be doing a virtual partial program for 2 weeks. That was the agreement we made upon my release.

My dad picked me up and we left he told me that the reason my mother had collapsed was due to a blood clot in her lung. This was devastating to me. This is as close to death that my mother has ever gotten. We have never experienced anything this serious in our family before. My mom has stage 4 breast cancer, she is considered terminal. So this on top of that makes this situation much worse then any normal person having a blood clot in their lung. She was currently being hospitalized to try to clear out the clot.

It’s really difficult to talk about my mother this way. She’s my rock, always has been always will be. She constantly worries about me. About the kids. She’s never been an overly affectionate person, but she shows her love in other forms like in the food she makes or giving me money or nagging me on a constant basis but I know if she didn’t care she wouldn’t do it. So any thought of her demise. Brings me to tears.

My mom to my family is the sun and we my dad and I are the planets. Without the sun we are essentially nothing. We wouldn’t know how to function or continue living. My mom does everything for my dad cleans, cooks, irons, buys his clothes. Everything. So the thought of my dad being without my mom terrifies me cause he’s never really done anything on his own. And the thought of me being without my mom terrifies me because she is always with me and checking on me every step of the way she’s always looking out for me so the thought of not getting that call or hearing her voice ever again or eating her food. Leaves me lost.

She’s now at home trying to recover from this. But she cannot be left alone. She cannot walk without feeling dizzy or getting headaches. She uses a cane and that more than anything hurts because to see your mom who once did everything who was so strong and never sat down use a cane it breaks me inside cause I know that it’s getting to the point where I need to plan for what I don’t even want to think about.

Im not prepared for this at all. I don’t think my dad is either and I think we are both going to be wrecks when this happens. Writing this right now is difficult cause I’m forced to physically think about life without her. I can barely write this out without tears falling never mind a vlog.

People wonder why would you feel depressed why would you want to question your life choices when you have children and my answer to that is sometimes depression leads you to a point where you feel that your children deserve better then what you can give to them. That someone else can give them a better life you can. Cause feeling like this and being like this what kind of mother is that for a child. The thing that people say about people committing suicide is that they were selfish or they were weak in thinking of the pain they put their families through. But depression really is where you feel that you are so sad and alone that the world and everyone in it would be better off without you. I’m not giving cause for someone taking their life But a better understanding of depression and how bad it can actually bring a person down.

So I’m currently attending these virtual meets everyday they are all day long from 9-3 everyday. I meet with a therapist and a doctor every day virtually. I want to go back to work so bad. I want to have a purpose again but at the moment I’m not ready and my mother is well enough for me to think of going back yet.

I recently went to work to see everyone, it made me so happy and warmed my heart. I miss work and my work family so much. I can’t wait to go back.

But this is my current situation. I’m still going through the motions I’m no longer worried about me anymore my mom is my main focus and my mental health is second to that.

I don’t know who I’m writing this to or what but it feels good to let my feelings known even if it’s not to anyone.

#depression #majordepressivedisorder #anxiety #breastcancer #hospitalization #mentalhealth #sadness #life #death #terminal #terminalcancer



[valleyfae]

thinking about him. boyfriend's older brother who is a rockstar? forced breeding and lots of finger sucking and he LOVES humiliating. forced ball worship. spanks you with his drumsticks. bending you over any surface and humping you like a freak. he is very vocal very loud and into hair pulling both ways. love u x

also im loving the blog name

Thank you bub :( love you and am sending you many hugs

Oh gosh… rockstar!Bucky has me in a choke hold 24/7!!!!! Shy and quiet but secretly reads dark mafia pure smut books and fantasizes about getting aggressively gang-banged reader

I wasn’t planning for this to be a 1.1k word very slutty blurb-ish rant. What am I kidding, you can send me ‘dad’ and I’d flip out (I didn’t even re-read my sentences)

Feeling pressured to get into a relationship because all of your friends are in one. It’s not that you are 100% opposed to finding a hookup or even an exclusive relationship, but according to your friends, you “never spoke” and “shut down every single person who made a move or flirted in the slightest.”

Spring exams are over, and holiday around the corner, so you don’t have any convincing excuses to not go out with your friends.

Giving up, you hook up with the most annoying, vanilla, mundane personality of a tree stump, fratboy douche bag. You pray it doesn’t turn into something serious. Still, you don’t have the guts to decline when he invites you to his house for break, mainly because a couple of his friends will be staying over as well. He, as usual, gaslights you until you’re hiding in one of the bathrooms in his house, vigorously texting your best friend that you want to leave while your shitty boyfriend, who constantly cheats on you, and his friends get drunk downstairs.

He can’t stand his older brother. Partially because he is forty times more attractive than he is and also his thriving career as a drummer. As a teenager, he would make fun of his brother for how he dresses, listening to Deftones, Sonic Youth, and even fucking Nirvana, and mostly because he plays the drums and started a band with three of his friends. But now, he just shuts his mouth when around Bucky.

Walking downstairs, you think about walking out without collecting any of your things or saying a word.

“Come on, let’s just go. You said you wanted to go. It doesn’t matter if your brother’s playing there. He’s not going to be staying at your house anyways.”

Standing in the crowd, you’ve been left in a while your “boyfriend” and his friends do God knows what.

Yes, the other band members are hot, and there’s no doubt you’d let them use you like a worthless sex doll, but the tattoos, his shirt around his neck that exposes his perfect body, every single thing about him.

After their final song, you don’t move, just stand there, staring at Ben? Bucky? Brody? You can’t even remember his name, so infatuated by the perfectly sculpted man or maybe because your boyfriend who’s making out with a random girl refuses to talk about him.

“You doing okay there?” Bucky chuckles, bending down a bit to snap you out of your dreamy state. “Y/n, right? It’s Bucky, (I’m not putting a name because I can) ‘s older brother.”

IVE NEVER ONCE USED Y/N AND IM CRINGING AND THROWING UP

Fuck this I’m not trying in the slightest anymore and will rant and puke words elkjskska…

He brings you backstage to the private room he used to get ready. You’re hesitant but can’t resist. You sit on the couch awkwardly watching him as he wipes, then throws his sweaty black wife-beater on the table and lights a pre-roll. Bucky offers you his joint and smugly chuckles when you stumble to respond. “We got an innocent little one, now do we, bunny.” He starts conversation, but you can only respond with a nod and the occasional flustered hum. His eyes drop as you squirm in your seat and adjust your dress. “Not so innocent, huh? Flustered and humping the air like a needy slut” Bucky grins, gripping your thigh and slowly inching his hand past the hem of your dress…

Now for the said kinks >_<

Humiliation

Pulling up your dress and forcing your legs open, sliding his thick fingers through your folds, mocking you and collecting your wetness with his fingers. Rubbing your clit torturously slow, his pressure so light, but he can still feel the throbbing and heat radiating from your cunt, he brings his other hand to your face, fingers digging into your skin, and he forces your jaw to drop. Drool accumulates in your mouth; Bucky shoves his slick-covered digits down your throat. “Aw, you gonna be my dumb little whore? Want me to fuck you so bad, don’t you, bunny?” he slaps your face, nonchalantly gets up, and relights his joint. He sits not too far away from you on the couch. His thighs spread because MANSPREAD BUCKY I WANT TO SUCK YOUR COCK. His bulge is prominent, straining his black pants as he inhales the smoke. You wait for him to speak, just breathing heavily and rubbing your thighs together. Finally, he makes you strip and curses under his breath, palming himself over his jeans.

DONT LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW IM HAVING A MOMENT… “Grab that pillow for me. Go on.” Bucky chuckles when you go and hand the pillow to him. “Always so clueless, huh? Haven’t been used before, is that right?” You respond with an embarrassed nod. “Well, then I know my needy little bunny will do just fine,” Bucky instructs you to sit back down on the couch but tells you to place the decorative pillow directly under you. “Don’t act dumb. Hump that pillow like you do after faking your orgasm. Hump that pillow like you do while thinking about getting fucked into oblivion, getting slapped and thrown around, go on.”

Hair pulling

Bucky is a sadist but has a little masochism in him as well. He gets so turned from your crying, tugging his hair from overstimulation as he slams into your cervix. The intoxicating pain from your nails digging into his skin or bitting his shoulder ensures him that he’s achieving his goal; to make you insane in the best way.

As much as he loves hearing your helpless whimper as you pull on his hair, he, even more, loves to clutch your hair as he roughly fucks your throat. Tears, makeup, and spit painted all over your face as he slams you down his cock with the grip on your hair.

What a perfect segue into ball worship and the good old faithful spit kink and maybe some rimming

Everything is messy. Spit, cum, tears, maybe even special water from his special water gun

He loves the spit that drips down your chest when you give him head. He loves the spit so much that he can’t contain himself and has to spit on your face and call you a “stupid little slut” and a “worthless messy whore”

What pushes Bucks over the edge is when you suck on his balls, innocently looking up at him as he holds your face down against him.

“Have you ever eaten ass before, bunny?”

Thrusting his hips and rocking against your face. He just can’t help but cum all over his chest and make you lick it up after tongue fucking his ass and sucking on his balls.

I could go on forever… breeding, spanking, voyeurism/exhibitionism, threesomes/foursomes, etc

Another I love you because I can <3 take care and don’t be mean to yourself you are the sweetest little angel ever <33

[artemelle]

Thanksgiving with tears guys? With their s/o? With nyxx? All 3?

the tot boys + thanksgiving <3

artem wing

with his s/o : wants you to cook with him :) lives for the calm moments where it’s just the two of you. navigating around kitchen counters, and each other, music playing from the record player in the living room. his heart flutters when you bring the spoon up to his lips, asking for his opinion on the dish you were making. lives for the domesticity of the scene, holds your hand through most of the dinner, presses his lips to your knuckles every now and then. “you know what i'm most thankful for? you, my love. my yn.” 

with nxx : takes it upon himself to cook for everyone !! mostly because he doesn’t trust anyone else to do it. constantly driving luke and marius out of the kitchen and is one more ‘is the food ready yet?’ from dropkicking both of them. probably the most stressed out of everyone, only thankful when the chaos is over and everyone has sat down to eat. gets a little bashful when everyone compliments his cooking. thinks it’s a prank but accepts the compliments anyway. 

luke pearce

with his s/o : the two of you end up ordering in, scanning through various delivery menus on the living room floor, arguing over which restaurant to order from before eventually settling on ordering at every single one. refuses to let you pay for anything, but when you hit him with a pout, he eventually gives in. watching movies the entire day in the comfort of the pillow + blanket fort that the two of you have built. his arms are wrapped around you, placing occasional kisses on the top of your head. “i'm thankful for every single day i get to spend with you.” 

with nxx : is in charge of post-dinner entertainment, which really just meant that he gets to pick the movies after all is said and done. he asks what everyone is in the mood to watch, but that doesn’t mean that he’ll actually listen. maybe he considered, but just for a few seconds and he picks a horror movie to scare everyone (+ makes sure to sit next to you so you can hide behind him). the other three see through his attempt to become much closer to you and are upset they didn’t think of it themselves >:)

marius von hagen

with his s/o : takes you to meet his dad <3 of course, you’re a little nervous because that’s !! his !! dad !! but marius does everything he can to reassure you that everything is going to be fine. there are seats in the dining table reserved for his mom and giann, and you can’t help the little ache that creeped into your chest at how marius and his father must feel since they’re unable to spend thanksgiving with them. you take it upon yourself to make sure that things go well, filling up what could have been a tense silence with stories of your own and asking about his mom and giann, making sure to keep their memories alive + make it seem like they were there with you. marius knows what you’re doing and he appreciates it. “thank you for being here, for being with me. i'll make sure you don’t regret it.” 

with nxx : sets the table, except this man really went all out !! he spent hours scrolling through pinterest to find inspiration for his table settings, 99% chance that he has a vision board in his studio ready to go weeks before thanksgiving. you can bet he goes the extra mile and buys all of the utensils, table cloth, center pieces, etc. instead of asking the host (vyn) what he has lying around the house. even brings along a nice punpikin-scented candle to set the mood. 

vyn richter

with his s/o : wants to meet your family. it’s not that he’s pressuring you, of course, he’s just very grateful fro the people who have brought you to the world, and to him. not even a little bit nervous. before you know it, he’s charming literally every single person in the household and they’re all begging for you to keep him around forever. of course, they could all just tell the amount of love that he has for you, his golden eyes shining whenever he looked across the table at you. though, he’s not above asking for the silliest stories from your youth and listening just a little too intently. “don’t be shy now, yn. I'm happy to hear these stories, to get to know you before i came into the picture. i'm the luckiest man on earth, and i'm always grateful that the universe has led you to me.”    

with nxx : offers to host. and that’s it. well, not really. he does bake a few pies for everyone to enjoy for dessert, but he’s already done that the night before so he can literally do nothing on the where everyone comes over. he’s just lounging in his home office, glass of red wine as he goes through a few bits of work. artem’s in the kitchen, marius is setting the table + decorating, and luke’s queuing up movies -- he just lets out the biggest breath of relief and asks you to come over early so you can spend time with him while everyone else busies themselves with prep work >:)

ok disclaimer that i'm from the ph and we don't really do thanksgiving, so a lot of this is based on my assumption of what thanksgiving is like from the media i consume ;-; anyways, happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate (am not too late right?? haha) and a general happy week to those who don’t :D

—   see if you can request something here  ;  masterlist <3

taglist : @themysticalbeing @xoxovictoriaa @nobodyshallenter @wafflebrian @duhsies @satans-beloved-riv @ultgojo @tenaciouskryptonitepirate @dreasimping @jisoostan09 @hajik0ko @tikitanuki @liraajustsimpin @rosa-qing @kpop-and-otome @suga-tofu @roselleviennesstuff @lyricumsabiaflos @darlingxannie @dazaiaiko @kristyxoxo @wonderwrench

[honeybunhalo]

Kara/Lena adopt Superboy AU Notes (Part 1)

I’m finally delivering on the content for this Supercorp AU

This is a Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor and Superboy (Kon-El) centric story. Specifically focused on exploration of one's identity and how you define yourself with the many aspects of your life and choices you made as well as what you consider important and precious to you. The effects of being constrained by how you were born and finding those who love you for who you are and don't ask you to change the core of your being to fit in. — this is not an action packed story at all.

Here are some of the ideas I have for this or things I thought Kon had in common with Lena and Kara that I find compelling.

Lena concepts:

Lena gets to know another Luthor, her biological nephew, who isn’t a trash person and is someone to not just for her to protect but who’s existence assures her that it isn’t blood that makes someone bad and maybe she isn’t so different from other people and she’s not “irredeemable”. Sometimes he reminds her of her older brother when he was kind to her growing up. Likewise, everyone usually sees the Lex in Kon as an inherently bad thing and thus he learns to hide it and hate himself for it. Lena presents an alternate because she remembers bittersweetly a simpler time when she looked up to her brother. Not everyone sees the Luthor genes in him as a threat, Lena finds it comforting to be able to help someone like her in a way she was never helped as a young girl. 

Lena thinks she can’t interact with kids well, much less the kid Lex had grown in a lab, but she totally warms up to him and can talk to him about familial rejection (via Clark) and if it’s because he’s a Luthor and if that makes him wrong. Is it because he’s artificial? Is it because he’s some strange illegitimate lab child? Smothering this kid with love and protection.

Plus Kon is like Kara in more than just being kryptonian but also in dorkiness. Lena’s life is just trying to wrangle an overpowered golden retriever and her lab puppy. She can’t stay mad at them for long.

Lena finding she is capable of loving and being loved and being with Kara makes it harder to ignore the crush she has on Kara. They talk together about love and acceptance now they have a shared kid they don’t want to hide personal things from that could later hurt him and many things become open secrets in their now shared house. Soon enough, it becomes obvious she needs to be truthful with Kara about her own feelings for her. 

Lena could learn about the difficulties of hiding being an alien that Kara had to deal with and the onslaught and exhaustion of developing powers in young kryptonians. She gets to see first hand what it does to a child and wonders how that must have affected Kara’s emotional development and sense of self. 

Lillian and Lex won’t get anywhere near this kid if Lena has something to say about it. Lena knows what it’s like to be the odd one out in a family and for people to reject you for simply existing from other people's sins

Kara concepts:

Kara recounts how she felt like a failure waking up on earth to find out Kal had grown up without her. Now she can maybe make peace with that by taking in Kon even if everything that motivates her choices with him is primarily for kons sake. 

Kara can share with another person krypton's history and culture which is something she’s had to keep seperate from her primary identity for years now *cough* it’s almost like she’s an immigrant who has to hide her identity and culture to be accepted and you could use that in the story *cough* 

Kon lived through being created as a lab rat and the only living experiment left. Kara could sympathize with his own grief from her experience with survivors’ guilt. 

Being open with Kon so that he doesn’t feel that same overwhelming pressure when she was told to hide with a human family also gives room for Lena to learn more about the world Kara came from beyond what she knows from interviews from Superman. Having Kara speak openly about her life on Krypton is much more personal and feels much more real than any article could do. 

Teaching Kon how best to control his powers and her and Lena being able to have the resources for him to do so safely 

Alex is very alarmed by the new addition to the family, mostly because how shitty Clark was in relation to the kid. From her perspective, this is not the first time the guy has dumped an unwanted kryptonian child on someone else’s doorstep. Whatever, she gets to buy leather jackets for her new nephew and be scary overprotective of him. “I don’t care if you think you’re nearly invulnerable at your age, do you have ANY IDEA what type of trouble your mother got us into when we were growing up? Or even when she just started hero work?”

Conner Kon-Cepts:

His sort-of-aunts can be his adoptive moms and be much better to him than his biological dads ever were to him in the comic canon. Kon actually being allowed to be close to other Superman family members!!! I need it like the air I breathe. Kon could get to know a Luthor that isn’t trying to hurt him or use him. Someone who defies part of why (Kon thinks) Superman could never accept a thing like him. 

(I have too many things to say to put in a brief bullet point just know that he’s my fav little boy and I think that he deserves parents who would love him unconditionally and Lena and Kara deserve to live a slower life where they can be cute and domestic)

(If he’s raised by these two then I can give a solid reason as to why we just ignore all the blatant misogynistic and horny writing from the 90s comics that made me really uncomfortable and didn’t completely fit with his given backstory especially with how over the top the specialization was. It helps make up for that)

Kon has to deal with being constantly compared to his two genetic fathers mirroring how Kara and Lena both are constantly being compared to Superman and Lex Luthor as they are the female counterparts of those two more infamous members in their respective families

Kara and Kon have very complementary stories and could become what the other needs to fill a hole in each of their hearts. Canon is way too personally tragic. I’d rather have a bittersweet world that’s also soft so I can spend more time with slow paced character analysis.

(In the beginning, Kon’s much more timid given he’s still so young and is coping with being rejected by superman. The tone at the beginning of the story is very serious. As the story unfolds, kon will loosen up to be goofier like his comic counterparts personality)

Both Clark and Lex don’t deserve this kid in any way. If all they are gonna do is mistreat or neglect him in their own ways, Kon is better off with his aunts. 

Conclusion:

Kara and Lena can be happy together by fully trusting themselves with each other in domestic bliss for once AND Kon doesn’t have to cry his eyes out knowing he’s an unwanted experiment child who is “undeserving” of family and home who never got to experience childhood

Everyone who's always saying “you can’t trust a Luthor” better shut their trap when Kara walks in with Kon-El Luthor, her newly adopted son, and her fiancé, Lena Luthor. These new moms will tear you apart if you try to instill that internal hatred of being a Luthor in their son’s young mind. 

Kara and Lena both defying what people say about them and instead raising a well adjusted boy from both their warring families. 

Kon is gonna be raised by a true power couple.

DC refuses to deliver on giving this boy a home or parents so I’m gonna do it instead. Just look at the family they could be together:

(FYI: This has nothing to do with the version of Superboy in the Young Justice cartoon TV show, so if you’re only familiar with that you may be a bit confused about this Superboy who that one was loosely based on. This whole punk fitted kid is indeed a real character and I stay pretty close to his original design from 1993.)

[wolf-and-bard]

The Geraskier Soccer Parents AU of my dreams (in an early morning strike of weird-brain):

-Geralt knows he isn't the best dad ever. He tries so goddamn hard, but his job is demanding and consumes so much time and even with Ciri being seven already, he still has essentially no clue what he's doing. He sometimes falls into bed, half-dead, and she is the one to give him a good-night kiss. He sometimes forgets she prefers cheese and puts ham on her sandwiches. He is sometimes too happy to have her sleep over at her friends rather than invite them to their house. He doesn't read her all the children's classics, doesn't go trick-or-treating with her, doesn't even pretend Santa Claus is a thing. He isn't the best dad ever. He tries.

-There is one thing he never, ever fails to do and that is take Ciri to soccer practice. Ciri picks up and drops hobbies, interests, even tastes by the week, still unsure what she wants to pursue, but soccer isn't only her favourite pastime, it's theirs. Practice is twice a week and they have a ritual for it. Geralt picks her up from school and drives her there, she tells him about what the dumb boys in her class said, how her art project is going etc. Geralt is there throughout practice, tucked in between Foltest - a guy who is constantly worried for his daughter Adda to get hurt and also very much anxious for her to do well - and Tissaia - a woman who has not one, but three girls in Ciri's age group and several more in others, and knits like a magician - and watches. He takes notes, silently cheers for Ciri.

-After their games and while Ciri changes, Geralt chats with her coach Vesemir - who used to be Geralt's coach, but now prefers to train the girls' teams - about the progress of the team, upcoming tournaments etc. Sometimes when Vesemir is indisposed, Geralt even leads the practice. When Ciri is all done, Tissaia usually has another hat or mitten finished and Geralt and her drive with their girls to whatever food place the girls are in the mood for. They have an early dinner in which Tissaia lectures the girls on their form and in which Ciri is sometimes allowed to sit on Geralt's lap - but only if Fringilla or Yen don't tease hear about it - but in which she definitely gets to steal his milkshake (Geralt hates milkshakes). Geralt only praises her when they're back in the car and Ciri tells him he's too much of a softie with her and should be more like Tissaia. Should maybe marry Tissaia. They both laugh because that is never going to happen.

-Life is good that way. It's not perfect, it's not without bumps, certainly not without tears and scrapes, but whatever the job, whatever injury Geralt carries with him, however long he has to drive, he never, never ever misses soccer practice.

-The season's just kicked off in the year of Ciri's eighth birthday when Geralt and her arrive early on the field to find the stands empty save for a girl in the most ridiculously colorful excercise clothes and blond hair that is braided intricately around her head. With her is a man, maybe five years Geralt's junior. Ciri bolts towards them with a bright grin and Geralt is hesitant to follow. He knows neither the girl nor the man, but from what he can gather she wants to join the team which is just what they need as they're one girl short this season. "Hi, I'm Ciri, I adore your braids." Geralt holds back on the eye-roll. It's nice Ciri can make friends this easily, but his house already is a shrine for role-playing and board games, dolls and random DVDs and another friend means more things Ciri will want to try out. "Thank you," the girl replies and tilts her head to better show them off. "My uncle Jaskier braided them for me, I'm sure he can do yours too." Both girls look up expectantly at the man and Geralt only really notices him then. He is averagely built with bright blue eyes and an even brighter smile. His floral print shirt has three open buttons and his pants barely reach his ankles. He has the look of a flippant music teacher or a hipster coffeeshop owner. His eyes meets Geralt's and, wait, did he just wink? "I'd love to, dear," he says in a smooth voice that absolutely does not go straight to Geralt's guts. Geralt turns on the spot and decides to pressure check the balls, but he can hear the others giggling as Jaskier braids Ciri's hair. "I'm Priscilla by the way. What's up with your dad?" - "Oh, don't mind him, he's bad with meeting new people." - "Very intense." That's Jaskier. Oh, Geralt will show him intense.

-Ciri invites them to their after-practice dinner. Geralt wants to begrudge her that, but she and Priscilla have latched onto each other in record speed and Jaskier actually fights Tissaia on some of her more strict stances and he braids Yen's and Sabrina's hair too, only Fringilla doesn't want him to touch hers which he respects. Geralt and Tissaia glance at each other. Come to a silent agreement. They may not befriend Jaskier, but he's sunny and so good with the girls and they can use someone like him among their ranks, someone who doesn't have Calanthe's tendency for swear words or Crach's tendency to break out beer in the middle of practice or even Nenneke's tendency to relate everything to the workings of god.

-Jaskier is as faithful as Geralt, perhaps the only one who shows up every time without fail. Shani's parents only drop her off and Crach switches between  Cerys' and Hjalmar's practices and Tissaia sometimes texts Geralt to pick up her girls. Jaskier is there, every time, earlier than any of the others. He chats with Vesemir about his day-to-day, brings home-baked cookies for everyone, he cheers and whoops and tries very hard to understand soccer even though it's evident he doesn't. Geralt never wonders why it's him and not Priscilla's parents that come, it's none of his business. He begins to tolerate Jaskier, but he knows that is where he has to draw the line. He has his hands full with Ciri and his job and his brothers too. He can't afford friendships that extend beyond the field.

-Jaskier doesn't let him off though. He always takes the spot next to Geralt (technically an improvement over Foltest's sweaty visage) and prattles on and on, at least until the game begins. When it does, Jaskier divides his attention between the girls and the stack of paper on his lap which he annotates during practice. It's often either sheet music or the illegible scrawl of pre-teens or wonkily drawn instruments. Jaskier already told him, but from that too it is obvious that Geralt's hunch was right, he is a music teacher. Geralt finds his eyes darting to Jaskier's long fingers, nimble and calloused from the various string instruments he plays. Finds himself glancing at where Jaskier's tongue peeks out in concentration. He listens to the man's ramblings and hums his replies and comes to dislike the days when Vesemir isn't there and he has to focus all his attention on giving the girls a good practice. Not that he doesn't want to, it's just that having Jaskier at his back unnerves him.

-(Jaskier for his part doesn’t care at all about soccer, but he cares about Priscilla so he convinced her parents to let him take her; after that, she said it would be fine if he dropped her off and picked her up again, but Jaskier pretends he is super invested in the sport and the team and he is, but mostly he’s invested in charming Geralt)

-After an entire season of mutual pining and obliviousness, Tissaia decides she's had enough and rallies the other parents. She has Foltest organize a big party at his country house, has Nenneke promise to look after the girls (the woman doesn't drink) and has Crach whip out the finest spirits he has in storage. Calanthe makes a phenomenal playlist and it's Tissaia's job to get Geralt to the party (Jaskier's not a problem) and dress up nicely. Only Aridea, Renfri's stepmother, refuses to pitch in, but she's been a bitch anyway.

-When Geralt picks up Jaskier at his downtown flat he has to grip the wheel of his rover hard in order not to short-circuit. Jaskier has done something to his hair that Geralt can't name but that makes him go woozy inside. He wears a plain shirt that compliments his eyes and hugs his body just right and he looks high on life with color in his cheeks and the most dazzling smile. He's gorgeous. "Darling, don't you look dashing," Jaskier says excitedly and props his feet up on the dashboard, only after kissing Geralt on the cheek. Which is not fair. "Likewise," Geralt mutters, then blushes furiously. He didn't want that to come out, oh no. Jaskier either didn't hear or acts like it and they drive in silence to Foltest's country house. Well, aside from the songs Jaskier hums under his breath, some new composition no doubt.

-At first, Geralt thinks it's a nice enough party for someone who doesn't like parties. Foltest's grilling burgers, they all have cocktails, the music is mellow. Not that that stops Jaskier from swirling an already quite drunk Calanthe over the terrace in dazzling moves. Geralt wants to be swirled like that. "You really have it bad, don't you?" Crach comments when he notices Geralt staring. Geralt downs his beer (he's no cocktail drinker) and tries pointedly not to stare at how Jaskier's swinging his ass around.

-The buzz makes it easier and he relieves Foltest at the barbecue for a bit. But then Jaskier walks up to him, a little short on breath and grinning his most flirtatious little grin. It gives him fucking dimples. Sigh. "Hey you big strong man," Jaskier says. He smells like pineapple and coconut, but isn't even a little drunk. "Jask," he says, pointedly flipping a burger. "Foltest says he has an old karaoke machine in the shed, but it's too heavy for me. Help me?" - "...fine." Geralt gestures for Foltest to keep up with the meat and he and Jaskier make their way along a garden path that winds through thickets and by a small pond. The shed is painted blue and white and Geralt and Jaskier find it very much cluttered, but not dirty which is nice. Geralt only understands it's a trap when it's already sprung on them. The tiny click of the look is almost inaudible over Jaskier's anxious commentary of their search for the machine. There is only one small window and no light Geralt can see. Fuck.

-"Ehm, Jaskier?" he reaches out and gently touches Jaskier's shoulder which has the other man yelp and jump. Which doesn't bode well for what Geralt has to tell him. "I think we're trapped." The effect is immediate. Jaskier goes rigid, his breath catches. Is he afraid? Claustrophobic perhaps? Shit, so he can't be in on the joke. "Jask?" - "Geralt. I know we aren't the closest, but I need you to hold me right now." And he launches himself at Geralt. Maybe he is in on the joke? No, he's trembling too hard for that. Geralt catches him and does as asked. "I am absolutely going to die," Jaskier whines into Geralt's neck and Geralt can't help a small chuckle as he rubs Jaskier's back soothingly. This is... surprisingly nice for a trap. Also likely Tissaia's doing. Geralt has a rare idea. "What if I distract you until someone finds us?" he murmurs against Jaskier's hair and Jaskier draws back a little. In the half-dark his eyes glisten, widen when they meet Geralt's. "You would?" - "Close your eyes, Jaskier." Geralt feels a surge of daring, perhaps granted by the intimacy and seclusion of the situation. He catches Jaskier's lips with his own. When they part, Jaskier grins, shaking from something other than fear. "I thought you didn’t much like me," he whispers. "I thought I got on your nerves." - "Idiot." They kiss again and, faintly, Geralt can hear someone cheer from outside.

[saintshigaraki]

I relate a little too closely to the resentment thing u talk about. I’m really glad you’re writing about it, especially in such a beautiful, raw manner. My mom was a housewife because of societal pressures on women and also because of my dad, and while she never explicitly said she hated me, I always wondered how she could not, y’know? Like, here’s the little gremlin that made her drop out of college, here’s the little gremlin who’s a spitting image (if not replica) of her husband.

Sorry if that’s over sharing. I just really resonated with what u said, wishing u all the best 💖

first, i want to say that you did not overshare anon! in fact if anything, i’ll be the one oversharing because i have a lot to say about this. 

(also thank you for your very sweet comment about my writing)

the only real difference between my mother and yours is the fact that my mom wasn’t actually a housewife, she was just treated like one by my father. she worked full time but still ended up saddled with all the child raising, all the house chores and all the cleaning until my brother and i were old enough to help. 

in short, my mother got roped into what i’ve dubbed the single married mother trap. basically, a married woman with a full time job who is left with little choice but to take on the same amount of work housewives and single mothers do when it comes to taking care of their home and raising their children. 

it’s a phenomenon that i’ve been painfully aware of for years now, partly because it’s so depressingly and frustratingly common. 

the only reason i bring this all up is because what this tends to do is breed a certain type of resentment. both of our mothers didn’t even want children, my mother said that straight to my face after her fifth, particularly exhausting day in a row pouring over finances with her divorce attorney. both of our moms had children partly because of the societal pressure and partly because its what their husbands wanted and now? now they’re both left to do all the child-raising for kids they didn’t even want while their husbands who pressured them for the kids in the first place take a backseat in parenting their own children. 

now these mothers lives are consumed by child-raising. constantly cleaning up after them, taking them to and from school or daycare, constantly preventing injuries or having to deal with the injuries they simply couldn’t prevent because they don’t have eyes in the back of their heads and they just turned their back for one minute to check on dinner and now the kid has managed to crawl up on the chair and tumble off of it and god there’s blood everywhere. 

and while some of the women who didn’t actually want their children never grow resentful, others do. others can’t help but look at their kids and think what would my life have been like had you never been born? they can’t help but think that this was a mistake, marrying him was a mistake, having children was a mistake and sometimes, with cases like your mother dropping out of school was a mistake, quitting my job was a mistake. now what do i have but this? 

it’s a harsh, awful thing to think, wishing that they’d never have kids, but it's painfully understandable. women like your mother were pressured into having children. women like my mother were conned. promised help by their husbands who wanted the kids so they could check off some theoretical box and now these women are left hanging in the wind, trapped by the single married mother phenomenon and shadowed by a bitter, simmering resentment and a cutting sort of envy for a life they could have had.

just like you, i look exactly like my father. sometimes, i catch my mom staring at me with her hands wrapped so tightly around her morning cup of coffee that her knuckles turn a sickly white. she’s never outright said anything to me about it, and i think she’d deny it affecting her in any way if i asked, i think she’d deny it and believe that it really doesn’t. 

i can’t help but wonder the same things you do. does she hate me? resent me maybe? just like you, i wonder, how could she not, after everything? after she was pressured into having my brother and i? and after everything she did for him, just to have my father cheat on her anyway and fight her tooth and nail in a divorce he dragged out for years? after everything he put her through, she’s still stuck staring at his face, reflected in the child she never wanted, as she drinks her morning cup of coffee.

it’s awful to think about how my mother's story is so far from rare. it’s awful how understandable i find her feelings. if i was in her place for even a second i think i’d lose my fucking mind. 

all of this is not to say that my mother doesn’t love me, because i know she does. she raised my brother and i well, especially considering what she was given. but in her case, and the case of many other women, love and resentment walk hand in hand. 

‘it was your father who wanted kids,’ she had said to me. i was twelve years old sitting across from her at the kitchen table. it was at the tail end of the divorce proceedings. ‘it took a lot of convincing. i just never saw myself as a mother, you know?’ she laughed. the wine in her hand sloshed around in the glass. she was a little drunk, i could tell, but mostly exhausted. ‘this is not who i-- this is not who i thought i’d be.’ 

wanted, i remember thinking. that’s what she was going to say. this is not who i wanted to be. 

but before going to bed, after she had washed her wine glass in the sink and left it on the rack to dry, she knelt down to where i was sitting and kissed my forehead. 

‘i love you. try to get to bed a decent hour tonight, alright?’ 

so that’s what i mean, i guess, when i say sometimes love and resentment can go hand in hand. 

[bts-reveries]

mini me | 11

(images at the end)

“Come in!” Taehyung says as he opens the door to you and Youngjae. Your son excitedly runs inside, looking around for the little dog you told him about. With the sound of guests coming into the apartment, a dog runs out from Taehyung’s room, ready to welcome you and Youngjae. Your son gasps at the sight of the fluff ball, quickly running towards him.

“Mommy it’s Annie!” He yells, hugging the small dog. 

“Annie?” Taehyung asks, confused. The two of you walk towards your sons. 

“One walk we had in the park a few months back, a puppy ran to Youngjae and wouldn’t leave his side. He wanted to keep him,” you laugh, roughly remembering that moment. “But the owner came, it was a quick meeting, but I don’t remember what the man said her name was. Youngjae calls her Annie--”

“Tannie,” Taehyung says. He laughs, roughly remembering the same day. “Yeontan, he’s a boy by the way. But, that’s crazy, that was you two?” Your eyes widen.

“Wait--”

“Aww I miss you so much,” Youngjae says, hugging Yeontan tighter. You and Taehyung looked at each other in surprise. You remember how much Youngjae loved the dog and how Yeontan ran into you at the best possible time. It was Youngjae’s birthday and you were hoping for a surprise that day, mostly from his dad. Instead the little puppy came at the same time Youngdo texted that he wasn’t going to be able to see him that day. Youngjae was upset for just a second, then the puppy came right over to cheer him up. He talked about “Annie” the rest of the day.

“So I guess we’ve met each other before huh?” Taehyung says. “Tannie’s been watching out the window everyday since then as if he was waiting for someone.”

“Aww Annie missed me,” Youngjae says, rubbing his nose on Yeontan’s.

“Tannie,” Taehyung corrects. Youngjae looks up at him innocently.

“That’s what I said,” he tells Taehyung.

“No, you said Annie. You forgot the ‘T,’” Taehyung tells him, Youngjae shakes his head.

“No, I said it right.”

-

“Daddy let me pick the stuff I wanted,” Youngjae says, taking out the contents of his bag. “I got this one for you!” He says, pulling out a paint brush. “It’s in my favorite color,” he says, handing Taehyung the purple brush. Taehyung’s smile widens.

“You got me a purple paint brush???” He says, taking the brush from Youngjae’s small hand. He nods his head.

“I have one too,” he says, holding up his own. You squint your eyes at the both of them.

“Didn’t even get me one…” You mutter. Taehyung looks at you and laughs.

“You didn’t get Mommy one?” Taehyung asks Youngjae. He smiles shyly, shaking his head no. 

“His mind says ‘no thoughts, just Uncle Cupcake’,” you say, making Taehyung laugh more.

“You can just borrow mine,” Youngjae says, passing you a different brush. 

-

After Youngjae gave you two a little haul of the things he bought while he was at his dad’s, the three of you finally started your paint session.

Taehyung suggested that you three paint each other. Youngjae will paint Taehyung, Taehyung will paint you, and you will paint Youngjae. 

It was all quiet at this point, the three of you were just focusing on each other. Taehyung had jazz playing in the background. You were looking at your son, focusing on his features, doing your very best to transfer he’s beauty onto the canvas. Although, you were more of a pencil and paper type of girl, painting was something you needed to get better at.

“Yn, look at me,” Taehyung says. You felt honored that an actual artist was painting you. You couldn’t wait to see what he would have by the end. 

You looked up at him and smiled slightly. He scans his eyes over your features, mostly staring at your eyes. It was a long stare. You were starting to feel your cheeks heat up. 

After a few more seconds, he quietly goes back to his painting, and so do you. You glanced a little at what your son had on his canvas as he sat right next to you. You couldn’t help but smile at what he’s got. For a four year old, he was good with small details. He had all of Taehyung’s moles on his painting, even painting his one monolid and one double eyelid. They were probably your favorite feature on Taehyung’s face. You weren’t going to lie, Taehyung’s a very attractive man. His personality also fit his good looks very well. 

With everyone focused on their own paintings, the music also playing in the background, your mind began to wander.

Your thoughts of your conversations with your girl friends pop into your head. You didn’t like how they constantly suggested that you and Taehyung date. But only because you didn’t want your feelings to be based on peer pressure. 

Taehyung caught your attention when you mistook him as Youngjae at the party. He was really kind when the two of you were looking for the kids during ‘hide and seek.’ Also, you’ve never seen someone so in love with kids. Especially someone without kids himself. It made your heart happy. 

You don’t even know where to begin with with his relationship with your son. He’s so sweet, thoughtful, and loving to him. Something Youngjae has always deserved. The love you always wanted him to feel.

Dating again also hasn’t crossed your mind. As far as you know, Taehyung loves your son and is a very good friend of yours. You don’t know if he likes you any more than just a friend.

“Are you admitting you like Kim Taehyung?” you thought to yourself. Or are your friends' words getting to you? Do you actually like him? Or do you just want your son to have the dad he deserves? Do you just want to date him to make other people happy? Or would it make yourself happy? This is what had you confused this past week. 

Your feelings for Taehyung have been there the day you met him. Although you never acknowledge the feelings you had. Well until the day your friends pushed for you two to date. That’s when you began to think if you really liked him. Instead you shook it off as your friends words getting to you.

“You have a really cute nose,” Taehyung says, pulling you out of your thoughts. You look up at him and see him focused on his painting of you. He looks up at you and laughs. “What? You don’t agree?” You shake your head, emptying out all the thoughts from it.

“How are you two’s painting going?” You say, taking a peek at Youngjae’s then Taehyung’s. Taehyung covers his painting so you wouldn’t see. 

“You have to wait until the end,” he tells you. You sigh.

“Fineeee, but I’m done with mine,” you say, getting up and putting it to the side. You ask where his bathroom was so you can go wash your hands. 

When you leave, Taehyung waits to hear the door click shut. He looks at his finished painting, signing it off. 

“How does mommy look on this?” Taehyung asks Youngjae, turning the canvas around. Youngjae’s face lights up as he sees his mom on the canvas.

“Wow! It’s so pretty,” he says, scanning over the painting. 

“Just like mommy right?” Taehyung says. 

“What’s just like mommy?” You say, walking back over to them. Taehyung quickly turns the painting around. 

“Did you two show each other your paintings without me?!” You say. A little hurt. 

“Only Uncle did,” Youngjae says, holding the canvas towards his chest. You glare at Taehyung, making him laugh.

“So you’re done? Let me see,” you say. 

“We all have to be done first,” Taehyung says, looking at Youngjae.

“Well, I’m done,” you say, you look over at your son. “Are you?” He smiles up at both of you, slowly turning his painting around. He was quite excited about it. Proud of himself as well.

“Oh my gosh!” Taehyung says, looking at the painting. “Buddy that looks so good!” Taehyung exclaims. Youngjae smiles up at you happily, content about Taehyung’s reaction.

“I want you to have it,” he says shyly, passing the canvas to Taehyung. Taehyung’s reaction was actually pretty priceless. He was genuinely very happy. He takes the canvas from Youngjae, admiring it up close. It was the best portrait of himself he has ever seen. Of course, it doesn’t look exactly like him, but he got all his features down! You would’ve known right away it was him.

“Thank you, Youngjae,” Taehyung says, “I’m hanging this up in my room.” Youngjae was so proud of himself, especially getting such a great reaction from someone he looked up to, he shyly scoots over to you and hugs you from the side. 

“Mommy’s turn,” Taehyung says. The butterflies in your stomach seem to flap their wings whenever he would call you that. 

“My turn to show? Or are you going to show me your portrait of me?” You ask. 

“I’mma show you mines,” he says, turning his canvas around. Your eyes widened as you saw your own face. You knew he was an artist but you didn’t know he was THIS good. It was almost like a photo, but he seemed to capture your beauty. One that you didn’t know you had, or one you rarely saw in yourself. 

“W-wow,” you say. Taehyung looks up at you. 

“Do you like it?” He says. You look up at him and nod.

“Would it be weird to call a painting of myself beautiful?” You laugh, looking up at him and then back at the painting. 

“No, you’re just telling the truth,” he winks. You felt heat in your cheeks and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Are you trying to call me beautiful or your painting?” You joke.

“Well considering my painting is you, both.” 

“I wanna see minesss~~~” Youngjae whines, pulling on your arm. 

“Okay okay,” you say, glancing up at Taehyung before grabbing your canvas from the side. You turn it towards him and he smiles at it, giggling a bit.

“What??” You ask, confused about his reaction. 

“I like it…” He says, smiling up at you. You scoff, handing him the painting.

“Well I wasn’t expecting that,” you say, making Taehyung laugh. 

“Mommy is better using pencil and paper,” Youngjae informs Taehyung. 

“Oh is that right? Maybe I have to give mommy lessons on painting huh?” Taehyung says. Youngjae laughs, nodding his head.

“Whatever,” you say. At this point, you didn’t even care that they were teasing your bad painting skills, you were just glad you were all having fun. This is another reason why you loved spending time with Taehyung. It’s always a fun time.

“Oh yeah, Yn,” Taehyung says, pulling you from your thoughts once again. “I had to ask you something.” You raise your brows. 

“Hm?”

“Well let’s get some food first,” he says, getting up to go to the kitchen.

-

The three of you were now sitting at the kitchen table. Taehyung made pasta for you three, Youngjae seemed to like it. 

“Okay so I got a call the other day for an art exhibition a few months from now. I need to submit a few pieces in two weeks,” Taehyung explains. “This is a great opportunity for my art work to get noticed by a much bigger audience.”

“Oh wow, that sounds great! Are you going to do it?” You ask. He nods his head.

“I want to, but they are only taking a handful of artists for this exhibition, and so I have to compete. Then I’d have to do an interview too if I win the competition. If I get picked, my art would be in the exhibition.”

“You’ll get in! You’re the best artist I know!” Youngjae says, noodles hanging off his mouth, listening to the two of you’s conversation. Taehyung laughs, reaching over to wipe Youngjae’s chin with a napkin.

“I hope so buddy.” Taehyung turns to look over at you. “I’m a well known artist online, I have a good following on twitter, but this could get me farther in my career,” he tells you. You nod, waiting for him to continue. “There’s a theme for the exhibition, ‘self love.’ I wanted to ask if you can be one of my muses.” Your eyes widen.

“M-me?”

mini me

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ part eleven: beautiful ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

pairings: artist!taehyung x singlemom!reader

a/n: questions are finally answered lol

we’re finally goin somewhere with this

ALSO HERE’S WHERE THEY MET I FORGOT TO ADD IT IN

picnic blanket, the drabble where it has a small part where taehyung met yn

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