#more stuff happened in the dream but it’s not relevant

[hiccupbutpurple]

I had a dream last night where Hiccup, for whatever reason, bleached his hair but he didn’t do it very evenly and so he got a cloak with a hood and rushed to Astrid’s house just as the sun was rising. He snuck in and woke her up and it was like

‘Hiccup what are you doing?’

‘I need your help.’

‘What do you mean? You okay?’

‘You can’t tell anyone.’

‘Okay.’

And then he pulls back the hood and shows off his now bleached blond but patchy hair. Bits of his normal hair are just littered throughout it and he didn’t take the little braids out so they are patchy too.

And the solution that Astrid came up with was cutting off her hair and they made Hiccup a wig (because time doesn’t matter in dreams) and then later the gang was flying back to the edge and everyone just kept glancing at blond wig Hiccup and short hair Astrid but she would glare at anyone who started to say anything.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 20: Hello Young Lovers

As much as I love Hello Young Lovers and it's everything to me, one essay about it is probably enough anyway. So enjoy some bunnies today and look out for more of the usual stuff tomorrow because I have very many feelings about Exotic Creatures.

[cdroloisms]

Okay, here’s a question for you that my brain has randomly summoned: If Dream and Punz were experimenting with their own lives before the prison, why would it not show it in the video we get all about the Revival Book?

Because we didn't really need to know, tbh? Like, we really didn't. Most of what we know about c!Dream is always revealed at the latest possible moment: think the revive book, the staged finale, the vikk and lazar experiments, yes, and the Plan in entirety. There was reason to tell us that c!Dream and c!Punz had already tested the book after the prison break, because part of the question pre-staged finale reveal and pre-prison break was how much of c!Dream's ramblings about revival to c!Tommy were genuine, and the fact that he had tested the book before to some degree quite solidly confirms that all his whole "ooh now we know it works! now i can use you as a guinea pig to test revival mwahahaha" moment after reviving c!Tommy was for show and not genuine. On the other hand, we were still entirely in the dark on what c!Dream and c!Punz's goals were at the point of prison break, which iirc was around when that lore video came out. We really didn't need to know that they were testing the book on each other yet, especially because that reveal would only really hit the hardest in the finale where it was looped into the themes of self-destruction and self-sacrifice that followed c!clingy. Keeping that reveal until it'd actually mean something rather than just making it an earlier lore drop kept us guessing for longer and worked better for the story that was being told in those final four streams

[unholyxvoid]

good morning i had a fucking sleep token dream , that hasnt happened in a while

was at a small gig (and i really mean small there were maybe 50 people in the crowd at some very small venue inside ?) and my friend was there with me

as sleep token finished preforming they left the stage and after a few minutes ves and iii came back to say something and they were being silly but it took me a minute to realize . they werent wearing their masks ?? and they were both bald ? iii had a tattoo on the back of his head lmao ?

anyway after a few minutes me and my friend were somehow sitting at the back of the stage still just watching them as if we were in the crowd and they continued to be silly and just talk and mess around on stage ? ii and iv showed up , both also maskless , i think ii was bald too , i dont remember about iv though

after a few more minutes they were done or something , we were still on stage and i was straight up sobbing , crying my fucking eyes out . i think iv or ves saw me but they didnt do anything . they left and then we also went outside

they were supposed to have another one of these shows at the same place in a few hours so i wanted to wait to see them again lmao but i was impatient so we walked back in and there was some small box of their things on the floor on the stage so we started looking through that . no idea how no security stopped us before but someone did show up after a while and asked how we got in and what were doing and stuff

and then i woke up um . wtf ? just to clarify i have never seen them maskless my brain just made shit up , i dont even remember how they looked in my dream . i vaguely remember iii's and ves' faces but not cleary (and i hope i forget) , dont remember ii's or iv's faces at all .

[pipwritesoccasionally]

midnight emotions (two little lines pt. 2)

in which your stepson has a bad dream and you feel guilty.

this one has less to do with your pregnancy but it is still relevant!

toji x reader (same stuff from last time applies, technically AFAB because of pregnancy but it's also a world with sorcery so I am not here to stop AMAB people. kept it pretty gender neutral, but let me know if it doesn't seem like it.)

wc: 850

pt. 1 pt.3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the darkness floods your eyes as you blink awake for the second time that night. body aching, you roll over, feet fluffing the carpet of you and toji’s bedroom. your arms reach up, exposing your growing stomach to the cold air. 

as you stand, the bed creaks, and you hear your husband groan. 

“doll?” his voice is low from sleep, and you place your hand on his arm. 

“i’m good. i just have to pee.” 

“again? you went two hours ago,” you’d never think that toji could be so whiny, but it sure was a very cute surprise. 

“babe, a whole human is growing next to my bladder. i’m going to be peeing all the time for the next few months,” you chuckle, and you hear him roll over on the bed. 

“fine. see you soon.” 

with that, you begin your walk to the bathroom, able to navigate the dark hallways perfectly after following this routine for weeks. after doing your business, you walk back down the hall, but this time you find that it’s much easier. 

in fact, there’s a light on in one of the bedrooms, which you quickly discern to be megumi’s. you knock, hearing a little “come in” on the other side. 

“megumi? what are you doing up?” you whisper, seeing him sitting up in bed. he furiously rubs his hands with his face, and the sight brings tears to your eyes. 

“i…had a bad dream.” he says, his little voice full of sadness. you move to kneel next to his bed, hoping to reassure him. 

“what happened? you can talk to me about it, if you want. or i can get your dad if you’d prefer.” he shakes his head, but still seems to hesitate. 

“dad’s not going to…leave us, will he?” worry strikes through you. 

“never. what would make you think that?”

“i don’t know, i guess i just wish we could see him more. he’s always pretty busy and only comes home for dinner.” another tear falls down his little face, and you can feel one mirror on your own. curse your hormones. 

“he’s busy, yes, but it’s because he’s trying to provide for you as best as he can. he just wants you to be happy,” megumi nods, but you can see that there’s still something on his mind. 

“it’s just that…when the baby comes, will he still have time for us?” your heart brakes at his statement, guilt shattering you. 

“of course he will. i promise you that he will always have time for you. he can be gruff, but he loves you.” 

“pinky promise?” he holds his little pinky out, and you immediately hook your much larger one around it. 

“pinky promise. now go back to bed. if you’re tired in the morning, let me know and i’ll call you out of school.” he nods, and you walk to the door, turning his light off. 

“sleep tight kiddo.” the door closes with a soft click!, and you immediately head back to your shared bedroom. your face feels wet, and you realize belatedly that you’d been crying. 

the bed is comforting, but you feel your breaths come out shakily. 

“doll? what’s wrong?” you jump, not realizing your husband’s still awake, and scoot in closer. 

“megumi’s worried that you won’t have time for him once the baby comes, and i feel so guilty. i didn’t even think about how this would affect them.” you’re hiccuping now, and his large hand comes to rest on your back. 

“you didn’t do anything wrong, i should be here more for them.” he whispers, and you shake your head. 

“no, you’re just doing what you can to help us.” he sighs, and you place your head on his chest. 

“yeah, but maybe it’s not enough. i’ll try to cut back on how many jobs i take weekly so i can be here more. we make more than enough money between the two of us anyways.” 

you hum, remembering exactly why you fell in love with him all those years ago. he isn’t exactly the most open person, but he does love his kids in his own way. 

“you need to stop being so cute. this isn’t good for my blood pressure,” he snorts, squeezing you lightly. 

“cute, huh? never thought someone would call me cute,” you laugh at him, wrapping your arms around his body. 

“why wouldn’t they? you just ooze cuteness, from your thick biceps and rippling abs-” 

“i’m starting to think you might be in love with me.” you can just hear the grin in his voice, and you move to roll away before one of his strong arms stops you. 

“ah-ah,” he tuts, “need my doll next to me so i can protect her.” 

“you sure you’re not the one in love with me?” his chest is firm as you run your fingers across it. 

“you wish,” he presses a kiss against your temple, and your body heats up. you huff, feigning annoyance, and his hand comes to cup your face. 

“fine. i might be in love with you. just a little bit."

[lover-of-mine]

Welcome to Anna writes another color meta because she's losing her mind.

I made half this point before, but season 7 has more evidence, so I'm gonna make it again, just stay with me. Buck wears a lot of red, right? Staple color for him.

And, well, the coma dream has many elements that make it uncomfortable even if we don't fully realize it, one of them is the way that Buck is wearing green.

(something else is the way he's wearing black vans when he usually wears white hightops, but that's not important right now, but 911 costume department, I worship you)

Why is the green part relevant? Well, red and green are complementary colors, that means they are on opposite sides of the color wheel, and the whole thing with complementary colors is to create contrast. So, since he's usually on this part of the color wheel, the green stands out, even if we don't fully register why.

But the thing is, they put Buck in green when something is wrong. The coma dream, yeah, but the talk with Ali that leads to the breakup, the whole thing with taking Red to see Cindy that completely backfires, and subsequently the conversation with Maddie about being the one who gets left behind, telling Taylor he cheated, talking to Eddie about how he's avoiding Taylor after the Jonah thing, breaking up with Taylor, the cemetery scene, the gym scene in 705.

Those are all scenes where something is wrong, Ali doesn't understand who he is, the whole thing with Red is Buck deciding to do the wrong thing over his idea of what Red needs, the Taylor arc is very self-explanatory, the cemetery feels like he's trying to convince himself of what he's saying a lot more than it sounds like that's something he actually believes, the gym scene he's stressed because he lied to Eddie, it's all at least Buck doing misguided stuff. I feel like at this point, it is very clear that they put Buck in green for this purpose. If Buck is in green, something is most likely wrong.

So, Buck has a something is wrong color. During season 7, I offered the possibility of the show using maroon with Eddie for a similar purpose. But where Buck is about doing misguided stuff most of the time, Eddie is about lying. In a sense.

Eddie's color palette is very earthy. I don't wanna say green is as much of a staple color for him as red is for Buck, but he is usually in army colors, he does wear his fair share of green, greyish-green stuff, it's enough to make sense to some degree if they use maroon to say something is wrong in a direct parallel of what they do with Buck, just going the other way.

But why the maroon during season 7? He's wearing maroon while daydreaming about an idealized Shannon and during the date with Kim. Both situations involve lying to himself, Buck, or whatever. There's also the maroon when Chris leaves. He's not lying, but to say he's pretending to be okay with the situation because it is what Chris wants is not that much of a stretch.

But, I just noticed this dude is wearing maroon when Lena takes him to the first fight, which triggers something dangerous for him. So now we're talking. We have bad shit happening to him and bad shit being triggered by him while he's in maroon.

It opens up a lot in the possibility of them using red in this way for him in other scenes he's wearing reddish stuff. First date with Ana, the nondate with Vanessa, the 612 talk, and I'm gonna throw in the Carla thing too because I need another screenshot lol

Granted, as long as the show doesn't come right out and say Eddie is gay or Eddie was lying about remembering the shooting, these are just speculation and wishful thinking for the most part, but Eddie is peer pressured into the relationship with Ana and ends up admitting he liked the idea of them more than he liked her, so lying to himself, and the Vanessa one, he just plain doesn't want to be there and is agreeing to lie to Pepa so, it's a stretch but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the Carla thing, Eddie is at least hiding the Shannon of it all and he was lied to to get there, and while Buck does offer him the answer to a problem that scene, it is a problem he was struggling a lot with and pretending he had it under control. And I will live in a land where Eddie has been aware of his feelings since the shooting and it is lying to Buck about not remembering until the show explicitly proves me wrong, so in my head he is lying to Buck in 612. I'm not nearly as confident on this one as I am with the green and Buck when it comes to the whole show, but at least during s7, they did use it like that, and considering the way he was mostly in black or white during s7, the maroon has to mean something.

Now that we got that out of the way. Why am I telling you all this? It is not just because I think this is yet another way the show makes Buck and Eddie exist as mirrors of each other. It is because of the bachelor party.

Because Buck is in mint green and Eddie is in baby pink.

Buck is absolutely being misguided about what Chim actually wants during this, but I have no idea what Eddie would be lying about though. The interesting thing is that Buck loses the green and Eddie has the darker pink quite literally ripped out of him. Which is an interesting choice all things considered. And they get back to it once we find out Chim is missing.

This is pure speculation that even made me write a fic (self-promo if you feel like reading a confrontation about them almost kissing at the party), but the thing is, everyone involved in this damn show talked too much about this bachelor party for it to be a minute long montage with no lasting consequences and me to feel satisfied with it (rip karaoke scene you will always be wanted). Especially considering with the way we know the episode was actually 2 episodes long and they had to trim everything down (the fact that they tried to shove 18 episodes worth of plot into 10 is gonna make me mad forever, it was a reduced season, make a reduced season) and the ideal world madney's wedding would've been the 2 episode event it deserved to be and we would've gotten more. Do I think the show wanted something to actually happen between them, like a full-blown kiss? No. Do I think a "we are drunk and getting too close" situation was completely plausible? Yes. I mean, Buck was practically pulling Eddie to his lap. And it's not like this is something that can't come back to if they feel like it. Sudden triggers making them remember shit is a perfectly acceptable way to add some tension, push some realizations.

I don't know why, but Buck wearing green there will forever bother me. And with the added layer of Eddie and the maroon, I feel like there has to have a point for that particular costume besides making me want to make The Fairly OddParents jokes.

If we wanna go full conspiracy theory, considering the way the early renewal changed the way they dealt with 7b, I wouldn't be surprised if that party was going to trigger something and they decided against it. We'll never know unless they come back to it, but, nice to think about.

As always, if you read this, I love you.

Other color metas if you like my brand of crazy: blue and green masterpost, red and blue post, blue and yellow theory part one and part two.

[tossawary]

When writing fanfiction, there are a lot of unknowns surrounding Mobei-Jun that I answer based on what I think is compelling, funny, and/or contrasts well against SQH | Airplane Bro. (Sometimes, based on what contrasts interestingly and/or hilariously against Luo Binghe or Shen Qingqiu.) The choices I make for MBJ also depend on what suits that particular story.

An interesting question: "What kind of literature does Mobei-Jun like?" He's Airplane Bro's Ideal Man / Dream Guy! It's fun to think about what Mobei-Jun's relationship might be to fiction.

One choice that I've pulled a few times now is having Mobei-Jun be functionally illiterate, mostly because I think that situation is an interesting / amusing contrast to the guy who technically wrote the world into existence. Airplane Bro was cranking out thousands of words per day to eat, selling out his honest passion for literature, and Mobei-Jun can't / doesn't read.

There are lots of different potential reasons for this! Maybe Mobei-Jun is dyslexic. Maybe he desperately needs reading glasses and doesn't realize it. (Yes, maybe half of his glaring is just squinting.) Maybe his education was really bad because his family tried to murder him too many times. Maybe he just doesn't have any interest in fiction or in reading as a hobby in general, because paper / writing is rare in the Demon Realm for a variety of reasons and he's been busy building more relevant skills.

(Airplane Bro is shocked and offended, yes, but mostly because Mobei-Jun somehow successfully hid being unable to read from him for two or more decades. All of those "you read it" and "you write it" orders suddenly make so much sense.)

Another direction for "Mobei-Jun's relationship to media" that I've been enjoying lately as a premise is that Mobei-Jun is the sort of person who would have genuinely enjoyed "Proud Immortal Demon Way". But, like, in a weird way. Like, maybe Mobei-Jun isn't there for the women or the power fantasy, but he's fascinated by the cage of dissatisfaction, misery, and cruelty that the protagonist is building around himself using empty pleasures and merciless vengeance. Mobei-Jun is there for the tragedy. Everyone else in the comments section would think that he's a weirdo for different reasons, including Airplane Bro, but Mobei-Jun is (by accident) operating on a level where he sees the vision.

Alternate direction on "Mobei-Jun would like PIDW, actually": maybe he would like it because he actually loves trashy drama and stupid catfights. He's there for the comedy. He grew up in an environment where his father stole his uncle's wife and his own uncle tried to kill him multiple times, after all. In PIDW itself, right-hand man Mobei-Jun somehow successfully suffered years upon years of Luo Binghe's harem nonsense, and maybe Mobei-Jun was having the time of his life watching Sha Hualing start shit in the harem, actually!

Maybe in a Modern AU, Airplane Bro would try to sound intelligent and cultured by talking to his rich boss / boyfriend about classy literature, only to find out that Mobei-Jun basically only watches reality television competitions where people are constantly trying to tear each other's hair out for money. If people aren't screaming in each other's faces over a spilled glass of wine, throwing plates at each other over a stolen boyfriend or a ruined wedding, or backstabbing each other via wardrobe sabotage to get ahead, then Mobei-Jun is bored. Fighting matches or extremely dangerous sports are also fine, though, sure. (Airplane Bro doesn't like any of this stuff. He's a fantasy novel guy. He has no idea how to react to this.)

Another funny direction for "Mobei-Jun's relationship to media" is that maybe "Proud Immortal Demon Way" wouldn't actually be weird ENOUGH for Mobei-Jun's tastes. Maybe Mobei-Jun would be like that guy who claims "if I can guess the twist, then it's not suspense - suspense is when I don't know what's going to happen next, period" and reads long-running, amateur, foreign, abstract web-novels that he has to put through an online translator himself. Maybe in a Modern AU with this opinion, Mobei-Jun loyally watches telenovelas and Bollywood soap operas. Airplane Bro comes into the room and says, "Wow, not even any subtitles? You can understand what they're saying?" and Mobei-Jun says sincerely, "No. You have to figure out what's happening without them. This is the intended viewing experience."

[brawltogethernow]

I dreamt the other night that there was an extremely mid live action Murderbot TV show adaptation. That's not my retroactive assessment in the daytime. In the dream I was like, "This has multiple very avoidable or outright comedic flaws. I am going to binge all of it." (I'm aware that this is very meta.)

It had a "life on a starship" structure in the style of Star Trek, though it may have technically been set on one of the satellites orbiting Preservation.

The core relationship was SecUnit and Mensah, which was executed with absolute sincerity that couldn't not be charming, and was also where a lot of the more narmish moments were centered.

SecUnit would hack devices by focusing on them, cuing the camera to zoom in on the relevant machine—then the zoom in would continue with a transition to aggressively average CGI of the inside of the machine, which would animate it...being hacked or whatever. I got the impression that happened at a pivotal moment at least once an episode.

Some of the canon characters were present and were well-cast and characterized. However, the "crew" had also been padded out with a handful of original side characters. There was a gruff ship's doctor type (more Kelso than Bones though), a cook SecUnit had an arbitrary rivalry with, and for some reason two teenage boys who were BFFs. The cook existed to facilitate interpersonal comedy, the teens to have sci-fi concepts explained to them, and the doctor to solve like a third of the one-off plotlines at the end of the episode once whatever emotional arc they'd been facilitating was concluded. The new characters were almost all played by white guys like after they cast the canon characters thoughtfully and considerately they ran out of energy/wanted to work in people who were already on the lot.

I dream-watched three random episodes, but unfortunately the only one I remember specifically is the last one, where the plot was Murderbot getting amnesia (because of sci-fi reasons) to back when the company owned it before it hacked itself. The emotional climax was it deciding to help Mensah even though it didn't remember their friendship, by disabling a machine that was harming her—which it did by triggering the hacking animation by slamming its hands against it several times. Like you do when you hack stuff. The amnesia was fixed after this by the medical doctor administering a liquid for it to drink that reportedly had nanomachines in it. I'm pretty sure the prop was one of those plastic cups dentists give you stuff to swish around your mouth in with water in it.

Murderbot was played by a tall and gloriously buff...enby woman...? I don't exactly recall. —Who in behind the scenes content had a startlingly sweet demeanor and higher vocal register than the character.

10/10 dream I am laughing my socks off. I miss the fake show.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

You put a lot small visual elements and details in that I never seem to notice on my first read, and it always makes rereading exciting. What’s a detail from the comic that nobody ever seemed to notice? I’m sure there are things that nobody has mentioned, especially from the early chapters, that you’d want to talk about

Oh man.........that's a great question.

The thing is, there are a lot of details that people don't pick up, but there are definitely eagle-eyed readers that also do! There are also details which most didn't pick up until someone posted about it, and now everyone knows!

There are also details which are actually... yet to be revealed as relevant! That's a secret tool that'll help us later. :)

But most of it is plot relevant decisions I make which make the story more full, but are not necessarily NECESSARY for full enjoyment.

For example, in the very first comic, when Earl approaches Steven....

Her eye isn't white! That was a fully deliberate decision. She didn't actually approach Steven because he wanted her to. That was a decision she made on her own!

Most of the white eye shenanigans in Season 1 were deliberate, albeit not very explicit. I suppose that worked out okay, though. Plus, many people DID catch on!

Also, this part in the Kindergarten comic:

...which people assumed was a power separate from everything, is actually just the first instance of Steven's Command power. The thing is, I hadn't settled into how to portray it at the time, and also - the gem is Corrupted! It doesn't respond to Steven's commands the same way normal gems do. I planned to explore that earlier initially, but in the end, decided to tie it into much later plot.

In Season 1, EP 38, Steven asks Earl to write her name.... and she does! But in gem, not English, because she doesn't know how to write in English.

She designates herself as White Pearl, putting the dash over the top diamond. It was at the time when she was still anxious about making Steven - White Diamond - angry with her.

And to add to the eye thing - during the Season finale of Season 2, when Steven wondered if Earl only came to see him because he forced her to - the comic where she finds him in the water proves otherwise!

Immediately when she grabs him and swims up, her eyes aren't white! She's doing it of her own accord.

Also, in Season 3's opening, when Rose is angry at what she THINKS is White Diamond, she almost has a slip of the tongue when talking about the past.

There's a very pointed reason that panel of Earl is right there next to Rose's cut-off 'My...'

Also, when Rose leaves Steven in the Containment Sphere - the Baby Jail Bubble - she unlocks it to leave, and you can pretty clearly see an interesting detail.

(which Steven, of course, doesn't notice.)

There's also a bit of a narrative tongue in cheek line-up which is accidental on Steven's part but still rings true:

(TVTropes editors caught this one! Hey TVTrope editors!)

Also, this very famous Seaglass foreshadowing:

The first instance of Steven connecting to tech was in the beginning of this season!

When Steven has a bad dream after fusing with Earl and forming Bleached Coral, there's a hidden detail in this reflective text from Nightmare Rose:

(It might be easier to read if you mirror-flip it.)

Another fun thing I enjoyed doing before I got busy with other stuff is gem language! Earl writes Steven notes in it to help him learn, and now signs with her English name,

In the Cluster Experiments comic, if you look at the panels before stuff starts to Happen, you can find a few Experiments hiding in the background. :)

In Amethyst's room, there is a Japanese stopsign and a d20 in the background.

In episode 25 of season 4, Steven is playing Moonlight Sonata!

In episode 33, the ship Steven connects to displays a bisection of the earth which showcases its lumpy core! Or rather, the megastructures that are hidden deep inside the mantle.

It also showcases a few geothermal coring sites made during the colonization.

And by the way, the drill Pearl built was actually a repurposed ship hull which was used for the Space Race ship in the original show!

And man there are actually... many more! But I had to skip over them because they are alluding to things which have not yet been explicitly revealed! :D

But even with this, I'm sure there are other ones I'm missing. If you think you have one that should be listed - throw it on a reblog or in the comments!

[pathetickuroo]

nekoma hcs i've been dreaming up since before the movie came out

- shibayama keeps a quote book

- there are some absolutely foul, heinous statements in there.

- he ends up passing it down to a first year before he graduates and has to explain uhh. quite a lot!

- "um. why does yaku call kai babygirl" "how about we stop talking for a while!"

- "'it tastes so good i would stick—' shibayama-san what IS this" "I'M JUST THE MESSENGER IT'S NOT MY FAULT"

- kuroo made a sliding scale diagram of every nekoma member from most to least catlike and refuses to accept any criticism

- in order (as far as more relevant characters go) it went kenma, fukunaga, kuroo himself, tora, yaku, kai, shibayama, lev, inuoka

- yaku in particular was deeply offended about his placement

- "you're like if a dog could be a cat" "FUCK you how is tora higher than me" "well that's because he's like if a cat could be a dog."

- inuoka has a special handshake with everyone

- the one with tora is the longest because they keep thinking of stuff to add and its really cool and not a distraction at all kuroo they promise

- it's 40+ steps at this point

- they keep having to restart because one of them forgets something

- kuroo just wants to do serving drills and he's getting tired of asking nicely

- fukunaga can will and does fall asleep anywhere

- like. anywhere. in a plane on a train on his desk at school on the floor in the library you name a location and i'd bet good money he's snoozed there. he fell asleep on the bench during a timeout once in the middle of a practice match. yaku found him in a cabinet one time

- some under the counter door closed curled up shit. made it look like sleeping on a cloud too i'm sure

- speaking of fukunaga. he carries around one of those little party noisemaker things around with him so he can use it when something makes him happy

- like those ones where you blow in them and the paper unrolls and it honks or whatever. you know the sound idk how to describe it

- he's exploring creative methods of communication so he doesn't have to force himself to talk all the time :)

- every time kuroo sees a cat he HAS to meow at it, it isn't a question of if he will or not, he Has To. it's like a compulsion

- it's the alternative to baby-talking them (which he also does sometimes)

- when ppl send cat pics in the gc he types meow and hits send

- he wants to be POLITE and say HELLO and since cats can't speak japanese, kuroo will speak cat

- he gets down to their eye level too or at LEAST crouches. he doesn't wanna frighten them

- lev tried to keep the blood speech alive after the third years graduated

- "ok we're blood--" "you're doing it WRONG" "WHATT WHATTTTT"

- he tries to come up with something new but gives up bc he can't stop thinking of vital organs

- "ok ok kenma i got it this time. so we're like the liver--" "tora i'm gonna kill this guy"

- touchiest volleyball team known to man

- hugs, heads on shoulders or in laps, holding hands, shoulder touches, patting each other on the back or the head, arms around shoulders, cuddling at sleepovers they're doing it ALL

- totally indiscriminate too. if you attend nekoma high school and join the boys' volleyball club you will not be touch starved i can tell you that

- you know how when you have a litter of kittens they all kind of sleep in a pile

- this is a maneuver nekoma hits often, i think

- it turns into a catch-all solution for like. anything

- didn't get enough sleep? cat pile. finals are coming up? cat pile. forgot your phone at home? cat pile. it rained during the school day and you got the bottom hem of your pants wet on the way to afternoon practice? cat pile. bored as hell? guess what! cat pile

- it sort of happens in the gym before/after practice just because it's the most convenient option, but it definitely happened in the bleachers after the dumpster battle too

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

Hey

Want to know your opinion, how would you improve some arcs of toh characters, like Amity, Hunter, Lilith, Willow, Gus and probably anyone whose arcs you think are bad-written?

good question! let's see,

luz: i have mostly no complaints about her character but i wish they made it clear that her running off to the boiling isles was not ideal. i don't entirely blame her because she was a child and she was looking for a way to avoid going to camp, but the show starts off implying that luz's escapism was a bad thing, but then they kinda contradict that in the end, by letting her have access to the boiling isles forever.

also her s3 arc with her palisman was just overall poorly written. it was supposed to be an emotional and wholesome moment but it didn't have that impact on me. if luz's greatest wish was to be understood, they should have built on that more. i mean, it's not like no one understood her, all of her friends and found family in the boiling isles seem to understand and empathize with her. it just felt like the writers pulled this revelation out of their asses, and the fact that stringbean was inexplicably a shapeshifter didn't help their case.

amity: i would keep some parts of her initial characterization, like her ambitious nature and her resting bitch face energy. even if the idea was to make amity grow into a more cheerful person, it doesn't make sense that it happened so quickly. imo her characterization was at its best when she was warming up to luz but not entirely nice to other people (like during the grom episode). i really liked her cold, standoffish behaviour and i think it would have been nice if she had kept some of that, while still being a better person than she was in the beginning.

also, like i said in another post, she should definitely have goals of her own. her character shouldn't have been reduced to "luz's girlfriend". i would definitely show more of her interacting with the other characters (and these interactions and conversations aren't about luz) and pursuing her own dreams. i think steven universe did this best where connie liked steven a lot and she did hang out with him, but she also had her own life and her own dreams to chase.

hunter: i wouldn't put him in a relationship with willow, or anyone, for that matter. the poor boy has a lot of trauma he needs to work through and based on the stuff that he's said, it's clear that he doesn't know how healthy human interactions work, let alone a romantic relationship.

i would make his arc about slowly healing through his trauma or at least being able to express his emotions, instead of suppressing them for willow's sake. i think it could have been done, despite the time crunch. he needed time to grieve flapjack, to grieve himself after being possessed and almost killed by his abuser, and to slowly start his healing journey.

the others would definitely support him through it, but that's what he needs at the time, not a badass girlfriend.

lilith: i think her redemption arc started off okay but then everyone forgave her too quickly. it wasn't as bad as catra's because lilith did put a little effort into trying to be better, but she still needed to do more before she could have been forgiven.

so either i would extent her redemption arc and let the other characters, especially eda, stay mad at her a little longer before she gets forgiven. or i would just keep her as an antagonist.

they didn't even explore her trauma of being in a cult and the emperor's coven never chased her down after she left. not to mention, her experience of being in the emperor's coven is never relevant to the plot. she could have given luz inside information or talked about belos' potential weaknesses, it was such a missed opportunity.

willow: her arc with amity was not terrible and i like that she was allowed to take her time to trust amity. this is more about amity than willow but i think it would have been nice if we saw amity making more efforts to gain willow's trust. her apology in understanding willow was good but they kinda glossed over the fact that amity wasn't just "letting her friends bully willow", she was also bullying willow.

i think we needed more of willow and amity trying to mend their friendship, instead of lumity being the main focus after that one episode.

and in general, willow deserved a bigger role in the series. for the longest time, she was just luz's friend and then they forced her into a relationship with hunter, which did not work at all.

if her intended arc was to work on her insecurities and get more confident over time, they should have shown more of that process. even Any Sport In A Storm was mostly about huntlow (and hunter, to some extent) then willow. and let's be honest, the whole "half a witch" thing was dragged out more than it needed to be.

gus: okay, buckle up because i think i have the most grievances with gus. i need to make this clear. GUS WAS SO UNDERUSED.

i'm sorry. this guy is a child prodigy who can create illusions and use illusion spells to look into people's minds and force them to relive their worst memories?? why was this not more relevant to the plot? gus is such an insanely skilled witch and yet he's always pushed to the back for some reason. he has the most versatile and useful skillset but he never gets to use it, it makes me so mad!

even him looking into belos' mind was only used for that brief moment where he admits that he knew hunter was a grimwalker, but didn't want to force hunter to talk about it. that's it. we get no further conversation about it, gus never addresses the other stuff he saw in belos' memories like him MURDERING his brother and creating all the grimwalkers and god knows what else??

also just the fact that he's able to psychologically torment people with illusions is such an OP move that the series just kinda glossed over. it was used in a few episodes, but it could have been used to a greater extent. i just think that gus could have been such an interesting and powerful character, if he was given enough spotlight.

he also had a good thing going with mattholomule but instead of making that canon, they went for huntlow. i'm not saying that gus has to be in a relationship (or any of them, for that matter) but why create a new rushed ship when you already have a perfectly good one to work with?

i also find it weird that gus and willow were supposedly best friends but we got very few moments between them. i would have loved to see more of their friendship, and more focus on platonic relationships in general.

so yeah, if i were to rewrite gus, i would definitely give him a lot more spotlight. heck, given his powerset, he has the potential to be the main character even!

belos: i've mentioned it a lot before but belos deserved a more climatic end to his arc. all of the implications of religious trauma and puritan culture was thrown in the trash in s3.

he was actually such a compelling villain, genuinely intimidating and with an interesting motive and backstory. what was the point of crafting such an interesting character, just to be like "lol he's evil murder his ass"?

i'm not even mad that he died, i'm just mad that THAT'S how he died. i was expecting his death to be something ironic and self-inflicted, like the people from the human realm being horrified by him and killing him. maybe even burning him to death, the same way witches were burned at the stake. buuuut no, we get king, raine and eda stomping on his corpse because haha that's funny. hunter didn't even get to be a part of all this, and he was the one who deserved closure, he was the one who deserved to see his abuser face consequences of their actions, not fucking eda and raine.

and that part where he tries to convince luz that he was just under a terrible curse was just.. so childish. and not in-character childish, but just childish writing. it was just so ooc for belos, he is a manipulator but this wasn't how he manipulated people. i guess you could argue that he was just too desperate to survive but eh. i think it could have been written better.

eda: i don't have too many complaints here, i think she was probably the most well-rounded and compelling character in this show. her arc about the owl curse was interesting and very relatable to me, as someone who is epileptic. her relationship with raine was the best in the series imo.

the only thing i would change is, as I mentioned earlier, i wouldn't make eda forgive lilith so easily. i also think that she kind of lost her "morally grey parental figure" edge by the end of the series, and i honestly liked that part of her a lot, so i would keep it. but that's just a personal preference.

raine: they were definitely a very interesting character, i just think they deserved more screentime. most of their role in the story was surrounding their relationship with eda, which was very compelling, but we could have gotten more of their character outside their relationship.

the members of the emperor's coven, as a whole, could have been used better in the series. but for a side character with medium relevance to the plot, i'd say raine was written pretty well.

[neochan]

NCT GROUP CONCEPT - THE SLEEP CYCLE

warning: I am not making this up, this is actual facts, some is speculation, but this is a very real concept within the group and not a work of fiction.

(finished writing this back in 2020 and now it's relevant again so i'm adding to it and reposting it)

Concept Overview

The NCT members are going through sleep cycles, which are portrayed in music videos and extracurriculars. Every time they complete a ‘dream cycle’ they add more members into the group and when they complete a sleep cycle they make a new subunit. Now SM is straying away from this concept, but for the first two and half years its very evident this is happening.

Alternatively  - NCT only exists within our [fans] dreams, and each music video is a different dream. This explains the different themes in music videos, some not making sense. 

Debut

It starts with, “The synchronization of your dreams.” [SOYD] In this, the members have already fallen asleep, and the ‘synchronization’ is the members coming together to form NCT U. Lets not forget the concept of NCT U is for any members, from any sub units to come together and entertain you [consumers/fans] in your dreams. This also can work with the synchronization of each sub unit to form one whole dream, or NCT as a whole.

After this, NCT U is debuted with the hit song seventh sense. The seventh sense? Lucid dreaming - the ability to control your dreams. There’s more to this song than people realize. 

In the SOYD we have haechan vocals, but he isn’t in the final debut song seventh sense. People think this is in fact a hate crime SM committed, but it is only because he has fallen back to his own dream scape AKA NCT DREAM. 

After the SOYD and Seventh sense, NCT DREAM debuts. This is the first dreamscape, and the main one. The next section explains more on their sub units

NCT DREAM

They have a whole concept within their dreamscape which is why they get a whole section. NCT DREAM implemented a graduation system for the members, but no this isn’t to torture fans lmao. 

They debuted with the song Chewing Gum, which is very juvenile. Throughout NCT DREAMS discography you can watch their hits turn from juvenile bubble gum kpop to mature themes, most significantly turning after their song GO. 

The idea for this group was, the older the fans get the more they change. When you’re a kid you’re going to be dreaming about bubblegum, but when you’re older you’re going to be dreaming about driving with your friends etc (WE GO UP). 

Their whole concept stems from the brain patterns and dream growth in growing kids. This is why they implemented the graduation concept. The older you get the less you are to dream about kiddy stuff, and that’s their whole sub unit concept. 

NCT 127 

After NCT DREAM debuted, NCT 127 made their appearance with hit song FireTruck. Now the song means absolutely nothing to me, it’s just a bop, but the video means everything for the sleep cycle context.

In the video we are met with a young girl, and one of the first things the members do is destroy her sand castle. This symbolizes how they are one step up from dreams concept aka repping the dream patterns and growth of teenagers to young adults.  The destroying of her sandcastle has obvious connection to how when you grow up, all the kid stuff is no long relevant and your dreams (in life as well) change. 

Throughout the video we see the female protagonist grow up through her teen years and even into her working years. The concept is so plainly obvious but yet so hidden because why are they rapping about firetrucks (maybe because growing up puts out the fire, aka passion, that we have for our dreams?)

NCT DREAM LAB -> EMPATHY 2018

There are a series of videos titled NCTmentary, which fully back up my theories and show this concept in depth. This also predicts the new members that would be joining us a couple months after the first video was uploaded. 

They basically spell out that NCT is in the deepest sleep (REM CYCLE) at the moment and that anything can be possible, aka them debuting new members, or to us, the fans, creating new members in our dreamscape. 

The third episode title is Empathy, hinting at the new album that would dropping and again, hinting at new members. They debut three new members, but don’t make a big deal about them being debuted because NCT is in deep sleep right now. 

The entire series perfectly describes the entire concept and I could write an entire 60 page thesis on it and its meanings but i’m going to spare you. 

WAKEY WAKEY

So this song is them waking up, yep. The time between Empathy 2018 and this EP is nct going through their dream cycle, and then this is them and us finally waking up. A couple months before this, WAYV debuted, and I’m still not sure what their role in this concept is. Remember in the beginning where i told you that SM is straying from this concept, well WAYVs debut is the first big plot hole.  

There isnt much more to say, because this is kind of where SM dropped the sleep cycle concept, but!!!!!!!!! they ended up dropping the concept when they appointed a new company president so I think thats the reason. 

THIS IS WHERE I STOPPED WRITING LAST TIME. TIME TO CONTINUE THIS SHIT

WAYV

okay so wayvs concept is pretty much right there for everyone to see. it's some kind of sci-fi, space themed dreams, and i think it's awesome. that's all there is to say on their topic lol.

GOLDEN AGE

so between loveholic and golden age, we get a bunch of random music videos and albums for each subunit. again, this is because they're each in their own dreams right now...they're not really coming together. until we get to golden age. now we have everyone together, forming a multi-dimension dreamscape basically. everyone is meshed together again.

AND WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THIS? THEY DEBUTED A NEW SUBUNIT. NCT WISH.

now i don't know anything about this new subunit, BUT my theory is that because nct dream has now matured in their concept, they need to bring back the original concept of bubblegum kiddie dreams. this also fills in the plothole of them cancelling the nct dream graduation thing. now they'll have another kiddie friendly group or kiddie friendly dream scape.

AND WHAT NOW?

now they're back to being awake again. this is detailed in nct dreams new concept ()SCAPE films. they're being awoken. finally.

EXTRA - CHART

falling asleep

↓

beginning of rem sleep / individual unit albums

↓

deep sleep / album with all members / debut new ones (or take away some)

↓

end of dream cycle /making their way out of main rem sleep and having smaller individual dreams aka music videos

↓

waking up - this usually follows a japanese album (wakey wakey & gimme gimme)

↓

fully awake now and then they debut a new sub unit

EXTRA - how nct fits the chart

SLEEP CYCLE #1

synchronization of your dreams (falling asleep)

↓

a few individual unit albums (nct#127, limitless, the first, cherry bomb & we young.)

↓

they debut lucas, kun, and jungwoo and we get the first multi dreamscape album (empathy)

↓

more albums (chain, we go up, regular-irregular, regulate)

↓

awaken album (japanese) (it's important to note that the last song on the album is end to start, which means they're now going back to the start which is falling asleep again.

↓

debut of wayv

SLEEP CYCLE #2

falling asleep again (take off)

↓

a few individual unit albums (we are superhuman, we boom, take over the moon, neozone, reload, neozone: the final round)

on the same note, then we get wayvs, awaken the world (they're trying to get everyone to wake up)

↓

they debut sungchan and shotaro and we get the second multi dreamscape album (resonance)

↓

this time we get the japanese album first (loveholic)

↓

more albums (kick back, hot sauce, hello future, sticker, favorite)

↓

then we get a second multi dreamscape album, universe.

↓

then they undebut sungchan and shotaro

↓

then we go back to the albums, which coincidentally starts with glitch mode. i think this was intentional. because the order of the sleep cycle got messed up this time around, i think nct dreams glitch modes indicates there was a glitch in the dream world.

this is followed by (beatbox, two baddies, candy, phantom, ay-yo, perfume & istj)

↓

then we get another multi dreamscape album (golden age)

↓

then more albums (fact check, on my youth)

↓

debut NCT WISH (a moreso japanese unit so we don't need any more japanese albums from the other groups for the sleep cycle to continue)

SLEEP CYCLE #3 (FINALLY BACK ON TRACK FOR ANOTHER ROUND)

starts with nct dream waking up (they're new album coming out in which they're literally waking up from their dream in the video teasers.)

and thats the end......for now.

[canmom]

booksbooksbooks - "yeah ok uh. you're worthless! how about that!"

I read Tell Me I'm Worthless by Alison Rumfitt! I have previously talked about Brainwyrms on here, her second novel; this is her first, and honestly they are such similar books (thematically, structurally, stylistically - it's possible even that they are in a shared continuity) that a second comment almost feels redundant - but then it turned out I had a lot to say when I got into it. Spoilers below, though I think most of the effect of this book is how it's told rather than what happens.

(Also: the recent bookcrit posts will sometime soon be making their way to canmom.art for easier reading - I've rather dragged my feet on that but Soon(TM).)

So this is a haunted house book that's about fascism. You know it's about fascism before the book even begins, since it says as much in the content warning. More specifically it's about British fascism, personified in an evil house called Albion at the edge of Brighton that corrupts all around it, drawing people in and bringing out the fascist mindset in them.

It would be reasonable to fear this might end up as a polemic loosely packaged as a novel - even if an absolutely on-point and warranted polemic. You can absolutely see how characters fit into the 'argument': a white trans woman who has not fully escaped her racist upbringing on the one hand, her Jewish-Pakistani girlfriend* who runs into the arms of the TERF movement on the other, their blonde cis third wheel who is the first to be fully corrupted by the House. A plot hinging on conflicting accusations of rape; the house itself being established through a series of eugenicist murders. And on top of that, in between parts you get some quotes from, variously: Félix Guattari's Everybody Wants to be a Fascist, Isabel Fall's Helicopter Story, Umberto Eco's Ur-Fascism, a Stewart Lee skit, and William Blake's A Little Boy Lost (primarily for the 'Albion' pull I think).

*actually a deep closeted trans guy, wouldn't ya know it

I think it would be easy to find this directness kind of annoying, but what makes it work for me is largely its style. Rumfitt has a hell of an ability to set a mood and environment, to convey the all-too-real bitterness and pain of its characters in circumstances I recognise. It is a story more than willing to veer into delirious fever-dream streams of consciousness or to spend a few pages quoting some fetishist imageboard rant at length. But more important is the genuine and raw anger of the author that seems to run through it: when the narration slips into addressing the reader, it feels like the intensity of feeling can't be contained in fictional devices anymore. The word 'sharp' is surely a cliché, but this is the kind of book to leave you looking up and going 'phew' between chapters. It works because it is able to make you feel the bleakness that its narrative demands.

(Possibly a relevant comparison at this point would be Sálo, but something to develop another time.)

At the same time, it's a book that is so blatantly About Stuff that it's almost impossible to read it simply as a novel. It has a certain degree of mystery structure (what happened in the House? what became of Hannah? who raped who?) and escalating waves of intensity to pull you along, it's got setups and payoffs and callbacks as the ideas raised early in the story bloom again in the final blast of words, but it's not really something you can simply take as a haunted-house story. Some of the biggest horror scenes would be kind of completely ridiculous without the metaphor-drenched context.

We can describe the main beats, all the same.

the bit where I summarise the plot

Alice and Ila are two survivors of an ill-fated expedition into an abandoned house. Alice (trans girl) is haunted by something which manifests in the form of a stain on the wall, and when she covers it by a picture of a racist singer from the 80s who she once admired, his phantom (it's presumably Morrissey, but they book doesn't ever name him). she gets by through shooting sissy hypnosis videos for clients who have her say all sorts of dubious racist shit. Ila (cis) has been welcomed as a token brown woman for the TERF movement, getting interviewed on the radio and invited to conferences. Both of them remember being raped and multilated by the other during the visit to the House - more on that anon. The third member of the party, Hannah, entered with them but never left the House.

Alice's closest thing to friends are a hetero couple of hard partiers; the guy Jon is into knifeplay and it's clearly not something his partner is all on board with. She tries to hook up with a girl but the Morrissey-haunting scares her away, providing some setup for the concepts of haunting this book will use. Ila, meanwhile, is almost raped by another TERF after recounting her story at a conference; the woman in question preemptively DARVOs her on social media so she won't tell. Some other cis(?) girl who Ila had deliriously called a tranny during sex (thanks House!) seconds it. Throughout all this, Ila has been frequently messaging Alice asking to talk again.

The narrative jumps around; we gradually learn more about the circumstances of their previous trip into the House (named Albion by its first two inhabitants), and its history: built by a gay guy in a period that would get you arrested and named Albion by his 15-year-old lover, then the site of a series of eugenicist murders (with explicit allusion to Bluebeard); in modern times, the random suicides it inflicts on the people in the buildings around it, etc. It's a real bad House

So, Hannah (cis, straight) had been feeling third-wheeled by the couple Alice and Ila. We get some flashbacks as Hannah: that time Alice and Ila had sex on the beach and Hannah totally heard it all, that time Hannah hooked up with a black guy and Alice and Ila were kind of assholes to him... When they enter the house together, Hannah becomes separated and drawn to the red room at the heart of the house. When Alice and Ila enter, Hannah is fully claimed by the House and physically transformed into a human swastika, and the narrative splits in two as both Alice and Ila enact brutal rapes on each other; in one version, Alice cuts 'ARBEIT MACHT FREI' into Ila's belly, in the other, Ila cuts a symbolic vagina into Alice's scalp. The two of them leave the House with these injuries, and the narrative pointedly refuses to tell us that one is the real course of events, or that something else happened.

Ila contacts Alice and convinces her to return to the House to put an end to it. They try to have sex and they're not feeling it; then they have nasty politicised sex, which gives the book its title:

“Call me it, please,” she says. “Call you what?” “You know. You know you want to, as well.” She hesitates for a moment. But Alice is right. She does want to. “You fucking tranny,” Ila moans. “God. Fuck. Please.” The pleasure is nearly unbearable for Alice. “Do it again. Tell me what you think of me, what you really think of me. Tell me I’m nothing. Tell me I’m worthless.” “You,” Ila grabs Alice’s hair, “are a fucking worthless tranny.”

Finally the two go into the House and we enter a kind of fever dream of an alternative fascist-ruled timeline in the green and pleasant lands where Mosley plays on the radio, Alice never transitions and marries Hannah and kills herself, Ila is deported to unknown quarters, and then in a parallel vision they both embrace while respectively self-disembowelling and bleaching -

then, finally we get a version where they escape alive and burn the House, only for its curse to continue to affect the next building to be built there, which gives rise to a bomber who bombs the Pride parade where Alice and Harry (formerly Ila) are walking together. But they hold each other in the ashes. t4t end.

You get all that?

I'm leaving out various dream sequences, flashbacks, and meditations on the state of things, like the factory or the, 'shitty transvestite pigs', which could honestly be said to be more important than the narrative itself.

fascism then

So for a book that is so much about fascism, what does it actually have to say on the subject? The facet of fascism examined here is mostly of the online-radicalisation or unspoken-sentiment type, the thing you tell yourself is a joke until you stop telling yourself that. The characters are carrying intrusive patterns of thought, taking different but similar forms for each. The House, or the ideology, feeds on their interpersonal resentments and drives them towards self-destructive cruelty.

In the narration that is (at least at times) their train of thought, they ask themselves why they stay in the House, or get drawn back. The closest thing to an answer comes, in Hannah's point of view, shortly before the dual rape scene:

Alice tried to kick open the door, but it wouldn’t move, however hard she kicked. It felt like there was nothing on the other side of the door – that it wasn’t a door at all, but the border to the world, and the inside of this room was the entire world. If you were to open the door you would find… what? The world outside is dark and unknowable. In the room you are safe. You are subject to violence, abuse, mistreatment, hurt, pain, all of the above, but you are safe from what is outside the room and that is what matters, inside the room is the pain you know, outside the room is the pain you do not know, it’s not a hard choice to make in the end, to sit here ‘neath the burning sun of her body, (...)

But more than that, fascism is some kind of permanent infestation. The House itself is at once England (as the name Albion suggests) and the persistent, seemingly eternal infestation of fascist ideology, which are pretty much one and the same - a country so racist that it will vote to kill its own immune system right before a global pandemic, a country so racist that the very ground stinks, a country so racist that your seemingly left-liberal parents have a map of the British Empire hanging on their wall (excerpted from the middle of a run-on-sentence too long to reproduce here).

So Alice and Ila confront their dalliance with fascism by returning to the House, and in a sense purge themselves through this catabasis; but fascism is not destroyed when the House is ruined, or burned down, or replaced with flats, and keeps growing back to consume more lives.

Mostly the thing the book seems to have to say about fascism is it's fucking everywhere and it's terrifying, a sentiment that is hard to disagree with. But it also has a fair bit to say in depicting its dynamics in the modern world.

What of this dual rape scene then? There is a scornful paragraph at one point about how the social-justice rules of engagement totally fail, mockingly describing how you could plug the two characters into an intersectionality calculator to determine who has narrative authority here, ending with this remark:

So, there’s just two girls leaving a house and maybe you don’t have to take a side, maybe you can empathise with them both and hope they get the therapy and help they need and can learn to forgive one another. No. You can’t do that. Are you a fucking idiot? Are you that fucking stupid that you genuinely think you can do that and that something like that is possible?

At the same time as presenting this situation of absolute ambiguity, the book doesn't seem shy about acknowledging there are straight up bad actors, whether Jon or the older TERF; recurring more than once is the idea of the moves a rapist might make to silence a victim or witness. All sorts of lines: "I'm too important to the movement, think of what would happen", or blatant lies, "it's the only way [the unconscious person] can get off".

All of this, frankly, accords with my experience of the world; these are all things that happen. If it revels a little in setting up these little ironies in its account of the TERF movement (elsewhere we see Ila making up stories to post on a forum that is obviously Mumsnet), it is also painfully cognisant of the ugly dynamics of accusations. Elsewhere this very website gets a shoutout! In an Alice POV chapter:

When I was about fifteen, I used the website Tumblr. It still exists, as far as I know. It was a strange place, and it’s hard to even describe how the culture of it felt when you were part of it: at times welcoming and at times unbearably tense. It was the first time I really read about what being trans was, and it was also where I was sent endless anonymous messages telling me to kill myself. People would often accuse others of things, baselessly, and those accusations would stick to them however much they tried to shake them away. One of my Tumblr mutuals was accused of being a paedophile and a Nazi. We hadn’t really talked much at all – she’d re-blogged my selfies a few times, and I hadn’t thought much about that until people started to accuse her. I began to wonder what her intentions had been when she shared a fifteen-year-old’s selfies. She denied these accusations, of course. Anyone would. She claimed that the people accusing her of being a paedophile and a Nazi were TERFS – and the problem was that some of them were. Or had, at least, started to share TERF rhetoric onto their blogs. Which made sense… they had just been exploited by an older trans woman, and suddenly these other older women were telling them, oh, come join us. There’s a pattern to this, and we don’t have to accept it as normal. I didn’t understand it at the time, I was just angry, angry and confused, but I get it now, with Ila spooning me. I understand why she is the way she is. I hope she understands why I am like I am, too. (...dialogue about the House happens...) I stopped using Tumblr shortly after that whole affair, and after having other people creep on me too – most notably a nineteen-year-old fat rights activist who seemed obsessed with my hair. I turned to 4chan and other forums in that vein, where, even if there were Nazis and paedophiles, at least they were generally honest about being those things, even as they remained anonymous. It felt better to know that I was talking to someone who liked to masturbate over little boys than to talk to someone and find that out about them later.

I was a bit older than the fictional Alice when I arrived on here, and I've never had the sense to leave lmao, but this accords well enough with my experience - notably, I strongly recall how a certain opposed accusation of rape/abuse (with knifeplay involved!) torpedoed the simplistic 'believe accusations' worldview I had held onto up to that point. The girls involved became a cause célèbre for two rival factions in the trans scene at the time, with who you believed largely depending on who your friends were, each rallying to defend theirs and cast the others as apologists. Ironically, both those groups would later fall apart.

Whatever parallels I might draw to touchy real life history, we can certainly see here some of the devices this book likes to use: a long personal illustrative anecdote of some messy shit, seguing into a moment of narration and a remark that connects it to the present, and helps sketch its characters as the extrusion of much-larger social forces. It is not easy to adequately capture complexity without getting completely lost in mush, and I think this book manages solidly. (I am tempted to draw certain parallels to works like Psycho Nymph Exile which address similar dynamics, but that would be way more than I want to get into right now).

It is strange reading this book, in many ways. I have only been in Bright a few times, but once was indeed for a Trans Pride, and I remember sitting on the beach described in the book (I went home before anyone started fucking). I may not have shown up to some anti-TERF demo, but I know well the 'tuneless chants' that Ila derides in her early POV chapter. So many trans books are American, and here is one that is furiously British, and that certainly strikes a chord.

With everything so caught up in magic and metaphor, what can we pull out of our own immersion in this book's wash of terrible images? Simply to love each other defiantly, in the spirit of the old songs? I recall talking with @thesiltverses on how horror and dystopian fiction undermines itself by presenting a relief at the end, and I am inclined to agree. There is no relief here, no 'this is what we need to do to counter the rise of fascism'; it is a story that ends only in a tragic moment of defiance, tinged with that little cynical detail, after a fascist bombs a Pride parade:

He goes to her, on his hands and knees, rubble and blood and bodies all around them. The police, the ambulance, the news crews. They are coming. Photographers are taking pictures of them, and they will put these pictures on the front pages of newspapers, and the picture will be with them forever, they won’t ever escape it, two trans people covered in blood and embracing amidst the carnage. The photographer who gets the image wins a prize for it. They don’t know that yet. They only know this: Harry crawls towards Alice with the last of his strength, his arms outstretched and reaching. The rain will come. When it does it will be bloody. The future will be red-tinted and unknowable, but they will be together. Come to me now, mouths Alice. Hold me.

I feel like this is the tone of a lot of recent tranny-adjacent fiction: we cannot stop them coming, but we will live furiously all the same: a story about the possibility of a pocket of change, that two people so thoroughly corrupted by the House could move past it. Is that all we can hope for? If we can win more, it's probably not for a horror novel to say so.

I know I know at least one person who has known Alison Rumfitt, the UK trans scene being what it is. I'm glad her book is resonating with people, if it is only those who show up at queer bookshops (shoutout to Category Is books where I got my physical copy). We are certainly experiencing a moment for grimdark fiction, and while that suits my tastes rather more than the 'cosy', I distrust any self-congratulation about being soooo transgressive and nasty compared to those pathetic wimpy steven universe gays. This, however, is something quite different: it's nasty because it's simply extremely pointed and the subject kind of demands it.

A couple of weeks ago I was discussing with some people at the film festival about how you'd do a film adaptation of this book. Having now read it, I'm scratching my head - it seems rather unfilmable, because so much of what it's saying is caught up in internal monologues and devices of narration that would hardly translate to the screen. But hey, you know what, if someone tries, I want to see.

[nickelbag610-blog]

Foam (Warrior ver.) of Stanley and Stanford Pines

Here is Stanley and Stanford as warrior Cats. And as s bonus I put them next to the other Pine twins. As I made the Stan twins have some features I put on Mabel and Dipper. No the size isn't relevant I just accidentally made the Stan twins smaller.

Stan and Ford are Sliver Speckled Tabbies. With green eyes.

Stan Pines isn't surpost to be cross-eyed he was surpost to be looking at the camera but I messed up so he's a little cross-eyed. He has a collar to represent his gold chain. Due to damage he can't hold up his left ear. His tail is also surpost to be a bit scruffy. You may notice his paws aren't part of his body and that's because as I was finishing cutting out the base. My dog had jumped up and started barking at the door. Causing me to loose construction and cut off one of his paws. So I just cut them all off and made new ones. Since he was going to have white paws anyways. But I don't like how it looks so I won't be doing that again. He has the same white muzzle as Mabel along with the same white chest, belly, tail tip, and paws as her as well.

Ford Pines has black around his eyes to represent his glasses. The blue glitter on his ears are repressions of his deal he made with Bill. It was a way to permanently connect Ford to him. They rap around the ears to represent Bills hold he has on him and to represent how Bill is always telling him to do stuff. He is has a similar white face marking as Dipper. As well as a white cheat, belly, paw and tail tips as well. While not shown he has six toes.

To note in my AU idea I'm still kinda workshopping they were sent to the warrior universe and turned into cats by Bill/ the portal malfunction. So they weren't born into the Warrior universe but rather end up there. I want to set the story I'm working on during the A Vision of Shadows arc in Warriors as that is my favorite arc. But unsure for when during Gravity Falls universe. But have a general idea. In the story I was to focus on the family aspect plus I don't want to juggle way to many characters so Soo and Wendy aren't here. But I may make Warrior Cats version of them for fun. But in the story Dipper and Mabel are taken in by Thunderclan a little after Violetkit and Twigkit get separated. So to prevent the same thing happening to them and because the clan believes they are part of Alderpaw's vision. Bramblestar tells the other leaders that Dipper and Mabel are Daisy's kits. Named Pinepaw and Maplepaw as cover. I debated separating Mabel and Dipper into Riverclan and Windclan. But it would just make everything way to bloated so I'm keeping them in Thunderclan. As for Stan and Ford they are taken in by Skyclan as Leafstar gets a dream from Starclan telling her to take them in. Plus since being kicked from the gorge she needs more warriors. And because Stan and Ford don't know what else to do they go with Skyclan in hopes of finding Mabel and Dipper. This is as far as I got but I'm re-read AVOS currently and and writing an outline. I will drop a link to my first chapter when it's done.

[crystallizsch]

hello i am once again thinking about grim, and by extension the heartslabyul duo because if there’s anything else that lives in my head rent-free it’s how the main four are as close as friends as they are throughout the entire game so far.

(help this ramble became longer than i intended)

-> i know it's a pattern that the previous dorms help out in the next book which means once book 7 ends, we’re assuming book 8 would be about ramshackle(?). which means it’s diasomnia’s turn to have a big role in the following dorm. -> but it got me thinking. throughout the books, heartslabyul (specifically adeuce) is always present somehow. no matter how much screen time they actually have and how relevant they are to the conflict at that time. (actually i think something similar could be said with diasomnia but i want to focus mainly on adeuce) -> throughout the books, we're just set up with how good of friends the four are. the prologue, books 1 and 2 start to develop the four's chemistry together, and by book 3 we get one of the first signs that yuu cares about these three to the point they're willing to risk it because their dumbasses decided to sign a deal with azul. -> in book 4, while adeuce didn't have much involvement, i believe twst JUST hammers home that all four of them are friends friends. we are shown how ace and deuce went through all the trouble of transportation DURING THE HOLIDAYS because they thought yuu and grim were in trouble. like they could've easily just went "hey it must have been nothing" but they were worried enough to go check on them, not even thinking that someone else could've had handled it already.

-> since the pattern was that the previous dorm helps the next dorm, why does it seem like in book 5 it seems that heartslabyul, or at least, adeuce has as much of a big role as scarabia? the scarabia duo was there to notice the signs with vil but it was deuce who dealt the last blow to him. (honestly i don't remember much but i don't know how much help scarabia even helped pomefiore other than being in vdc hhh) -> so then it made me think, huh. it's like twst is setting up that these two will be more important than we think and will definitely not be going away soon. -> and then THE END OF BOOK 6. ouughh the end of book 6. their reunion just solidified for me how much they all care about each other. adeuce were not prompted by a direct "we're in trouble, help us" text this time. they just found out yuu and grim were somewhere in danger and it agonized them that they could do nothing about it but wait and hope they're safe. -> book 7 finally we're back to finding out ways to help yuu get home. and since they're all admittedly close friends (dare i say found family) at this point without explicitly stating it, i get the vibes of "we'll help you get home because we care about you but we're not going to think about the depressing possibility we might never see each other ever again".

-> so very abrupt transition;;; this led me to thinking about the overall “alice in wonderland” theme throughout twst. -> is that why adeuce has been with us this entire time? to remind us of that theme? we are in twisted wonderland after all. (I'm not really sure about the thought of yuu being alice but it's an interesting one to consider too) -> to tie in more with the alice in wonderland theme, i'm briefly going to go back to diasomnia. in book 7, there's like a theme of dreams. in fact, throughout the game it was all about dreams and visions and stuff. and in book 7 we're just diving into it. -> and in the story of alice in wonderland, there seems to be the implication that everything that happened in wonderland was just based on a crazy dream that alice had. like we don't know if anything was ever real. (i'm not really a fan of the "it's all a dream" twist but the connections got the gears in my brain turning) (also mickey must be relevant too but i have no thoughts about the implications of his existence at the moment 💀) -> i know we're not done with diasomnia's book but it seems to be set up as a catalyst for something bigger along the line (thinking about the possibility that there is even something bigger than a malleus overblot is very wild to say the least)

-> SO ANOTHER abrupt transition but still related, i thought about the parallel between the "overblot grim" in the beginning of the game and the "jabberwock(y)" in alice in wonderland. they're both chimera-like creatures that are like the final bosses or something. -> and what if a way for yuu to "go home" is to "slay" the jabberwocky (or in this case the overblot grim) just like in the story of alice in wonderland / through the looking glass. -> there's theories i believe that ace is set up to be some kind of "trump card" based on his name and the fact his unique magic isn't revealed yet. but also i want to add deuce in there too remembering how he held a big role in stopping vil in book 4 like some kind of foreshadowing. -> maybe the main role diasomnia will have is only about all these dream shenanigans. and i'd like to think instead that at the end of the day, this conflict with an overblotted grim is ultimately between our main four. some representations based off alice in wonderland. -> going full circle, is this why we have been shown so much of the friendship between all four of them? to establish this possible eventual conflict? and to make it harder for us to choose about "going home"? do we even get the choice?

do we "slay" the jabberwocky or will we decide to stay in this seemingly dreamlike fantasy wonderland instead?

[boundlessentity]

Everyone needs to go see You’re Next asap because it was incredible and I was grinning like a stupid little idiot the whole time. I immediately need to go watch it in Japanese with subtitles.

Anyways, here are some of my thoughts! My memory is terrible though so they’ll probably be a little out of order and I’ll probably miss a bit. That’s fine though, it’s not plot analysis.

Spoilers below the cut!

The intro sequence was pretty cool actually

Heehee screen time for Sero! And Ojiro gets to talk and show off that he can actually do stuff! Underrated character appreciation time🥰

Immediate Star Wars reference, I see…

Drinking tea with a picture of a pretty girl. OH WAIT HE WAS MAKING TEA FOR THE PICTURE BECAUSE THATS WHAT HE USED TO DO FOR HER AND NOT JUST BECAUSE HES FANCY I GET IT NOW

Iida using Bakugou’s entire hero name only for people to immediately shit on it for being so long is hilarious and everyone should do it more

This man is #notmyallmight and tbh pretty ugly? Like I didn’t think I would miss all of the deep creases and heavy shadows on All Might’s face but he looks weird without them.

The goth woman in the spider web dress is kinda pretty actually I vibe with it

Ooooo pretty lights! I don’t feel so good, Mr. Stark…

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, Izuku sleeps tonight…

He’s like “okay phew I’m good I’m stable like this” and immediately plummets to his doom. Like that whole sequence in the tube was so funny, and then you think it’s over but it’s snowball time! Plus Soggy Deku is adorable, he looks like a wet cat (affectionate)

“I’ve never been so insulted so politely?!”

They did my boy Kaminari SO dirty throughout this whole movie but I was especially disappointed at this part. Mineta I understand, even after they toned him down in the 6th season, he’s still a pervert. But Kaminari is so much deeper than that and has had so much character development, and they decided the perfect happy little daydream for him would be women in bikinis? No way. What little we did see of him in the movie was so shallow.

The other daydreams though? Hoo boy😮‍💨

Todoroki’s perfect daydream is him with his family, being happy. Him, scarless, playing with all of his siblings INCLUDING TOUYA while his happy parents sit together and watch them with a smile. I swear if that little scene was on screen any longer I might have teared up.

Shouji’s too, like oh my god. His is a world where he was accepted for who he is and he and the little girl are happy and he doesn’t feel like he has to hide his face behind a mask because he never got the scars in the first place😢

Idia’s being him and Tenya being heroes together. Because that was his dream. And he can’t have it anymore.

Momo you’re adorable, please never change

Deku’s being him with all of the All Might merch and a hero who believed in his dreams from the start🥲 and then OFA User 1 snapping him out of it? Vestiges for the win, again

Speaking of, I love how much they had him using all of the vestiges’ quirks throughout the movie. My boy has grown so much🥰

That whole scene though was really cool, the way it was set up like a doll house? I enjoyed that, I wish we had gotten to look at it a little longer. Looks like Hagakure’s was being visible and having all of the outfits, Uraraka’s was floating on a cloud, Jirou’s was rocking out with her guitar, and Sero’s was doing some kind of Spider-Man tape shit idk. Wish I remembered what Ojiro’s was

Dark Might using a rotary phone to make a video call and then immediately taking credit for the name Dark Might? Cringe

HAWKS OH MY GOD LOOK HES THERE TOO

Fr Hawks got a lot of screen time throughout the movie, most of which was really not necessary or particularly relevant (not that I’m complaining😜)

Are those off-brand Nomus in suits?

“I’m a walking cheat code” is such a killer line damn

Dark Might is so delulu oh my god.

Other stuff happens, I don’t remember having any super intense thoughts so I’ll jump ahead for now and come back to this if I feel like it later

Mirio! I’m glad they included him the guy is underutilized

More of the pros! Especially MIRKO and the combination of Edgeshot and Best Jeanist

I’m glad they’re giving Uraraka so much attention, she was kinda brushed over in the other movies if I recall correctly. Iida too, though not as much

Bakugou the strategist!

Tokoyami getting his moment in the proverbial spotlight. Not the literal one, that wouldn’t be helpful. “Those who can fly, should fly,” indeed

Bakugou and Todoroki out there working together with surprisingly little bickering. I’m impressed.

HAWKS. Descending from above like the stunning angel he is! I’m such a sucker for his dynamic with Tokoyami, the mentorship and genuine care there between them? The fact that he’s encouraging and pushing his bird protege to be better? Love love love

I know Julio just explained it but I still don’t really get Dark Might’s quirk. If someone could explain it to me that would be great thanks

Even Dark Might sees how much potential Midoriya has wow

Literally just naming states at this point. Detroit Smash who?

Big Three coming in hot! Kick some villainous ass! Speaking of, it seems that Bones Studio had indeed decided to return All Might (Dark Might technically)’s ass to him.

Thrown into a statue of himself and he popped like a balloon lol

Forgot that the city was empty and started freaking out when the ship was crashing. I thought people were getting squished🥲

Yes Julio! Go be with the one you love!

Shoutout to Mitsuki and Inko being best friends

A bit of a predictable ending but satisfying nonetheless!

Maybe a little bit unclear when in canon this takes place? Largely when you consider the little moment after the credits

The movie was intense but also had a lot of. Moments of comic relief which I really appreciated! It was super well balanced

I had a million and one thoughts but it’s the middle of the night and I don’t really remember what they were. Anyways, it was a very strong movie imo, 10/10 because I had a good time