#more so of how her character was written

[astrababyy]

I have been sort of sitting on this subject because it would be so easy for it to get taken out of context. I hope I can explain myself so that doesn’t happen and I’d like to hear your thoughts. Basically I feel like part of what made Feyre’s character special is what makes her beautiful and I think it gets lost between all the sister anti bs arguments. I do think everyone is allowed to imagine all the characters however they want but I feel like if you go by canon what makes Feyre different that her sisters beauty is her personality. I find it a bit bothersome when I see takes like -certain archeron sister is the prettiest- because canon, physically, Elain is beautiful and Nesta is stunning but what sets Feyre apart is that those that fell into an attraction for her was only after having gotten to know her. I notice Nesta and Elain have this attraction from males almost at first sight and so I think the part that Feyre doesn’t get this sort of story line was what made her unique and I really liked that. In my opinion I think all 3 sisters are attractive in their respective ways- Elain an innocent pure sort of beauty, Nesta has sexy and angry, while Feyre has a mature and quiet beauty. The last part is my opinion, everyone can imagine them how ever but I do think canon sort of gave me the impression about what stands out about Feyre and I feel like it gets lost in the whole mess that is pitting the sisters against each other that is this fandom

hello, anon! sorry for taking so long to respond to this.

this was a very sweet ask! i can see what you mean about feyre being unique in her own ways. personally, i have a preference for the person feyre was in the first book, but i can totally understand you, and many others, enjoying the character she became post-acotar. i love who nesta is as a character because i feel i relate to her more than the others, but feyre's willingness and bravery to stand up for what she believed in, in book 1 was something i admired about her character. and elain's gentle demeanor and clear progression as a character by the time we reach book 2 is something i hope is expanded on more.

i would love if you'd elaborate a bit more on your point of view, as well as if this ask if targeted at a specific post of mine (?) because i'm not exactly an account that's very pro feyre (though i don't hold anything against people who do like her). do you think that i'm a part of the group that fans the flames of the competition between the sisters? in fairness, i can see how my posts could be interpreted that way.

anyway, on some level, i do agree that this fandom has a tendency to vilify and pit the sisters against each other for the sake of their faves. i have seen some absolutely horrid takes on all sides of the aisle, justifying things their fav sister has done and putting down the other sisters in favor of blatantly flat characterizations of them in order to make their anger seem more justified.

but i also think this is a symptom of canon itself being willing to pit them against each other, rather than portraying their flaws and complex relationships in a manner that gives a clear impression that none of them are all good or all bad, but rather flawed and interesting individuals. instead of creating a poignant story on the power of sisterhood, sjm decided it would be better to pit them against each other. this isn't necessarily a bad thing. of all the people in the world, i am the last one that is opposed to drama in books lol, but the way it was done has made things... complicated.

all in all, i think the process of pitting the sisters against each other is a very mixed bag because, on one hand, the archeron sisters' being in constant competition with each other in the fandom is partially due to fans of the specific sisters, but it's also due to the inability of canon to portray a complicated dynamic between them. also, their characterizations can be all over the place. i don't think the feyre we saw in book 1 would've allowed what happened to nesta in book 3, nor would she have condoned the treatment of her sisters even as early as book 2. this could be credited to her evolution as a character, perhaps growing in confidence and vilifying her sisters because of it, but i don't see the sister who felt guilty about leaving them behind when she was forcefully taken from her home as the same sister that let the blatant disrespect of them stretch on from book 2 through book 5. this isn't just with feyre though, as i think the characterization of nesta and elain is also quite finicky and so up to interpretation by the fans.

[lightnersdream]

i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.

(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)

because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,

(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)

it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,

it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.

(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)

she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."

there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves

there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic

she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect

i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way

it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."

it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense

this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though

she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it

by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands

i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me

she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility

she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind

but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girl found dead in a hidden room.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[krazieka2]

I've played the Fire Emblem Husbando Dating Simulator Games

[myokk]

[bayetea]

there are many things about hazel's povs that have an intensely de-racialized vibe to them (read: divorced from the black girl experience) but I think any black person will tell you that the most obvious sign is the complete lack of attention paid to her hair

like firstly:

she's from the 1930s her hair was definitely getting permed and straightened (it was not acceptable to just wear your natural hair out back then. optics + cultural assimilation/you'll be hard pressed to find photos of black american girls with unstraightened hair in that time period unless they're from like..... harlem)

I do believe that marie was straightening it for her For A Time but then she became more neglectful and stopped so hazel had to do it herself. I'm almost positive that hazel wouldn't have even been permitted to set foot in her school building without straightening it because that's just how much of an expectation it was

ok she comes back from the dead. what's she doing to her hair now bc it's not just gonna be cutesy effortless curls falling over her shoulder no matter what the length is

how does she feel about living in a time period where natural black hair is more accepted (read: more, absolutely not fully)

there are no black people around her At All. in fact she's around a lot of white people on the argo (+nico) so that would probably be giving her some intense feelings of double consciousness (look this term up if you don't know what it means) and that would inform how she feels about her hair

theoretically she ought to be wearing her hair in braids for simplicity's sake but I think it's more likely that she would cling to what she knows (perming/straightening) because it's not easy for a 14 year old girl (PSA hazel is 14.5 in hoo not 13 btw 👍) to go from assimilating to deeply-ingrained white hair beauty standards to just proudly wearing a distinctly black hairstyle all by herself

mind you black women and girls can do whatever they want with their hair and straightening/perming it does not always/have to come from a place of self-hatred or whatever but in this particular case back then straightening one's hair was political And a survival tactic. it was as normal as brushing your teeth. it was enforced through dominant cultural messagings about the Absolute Necessity of conforming to white conventions of beauty. if you don't understand then think of it similarly to how you'd think of 1930s women needing to be perpetually dolled up and modestly dressed in order to be considered "good women" and anyways I'm just saying that this would be a lot to unpack for a 14 year old girl so hazel's probably just continuing to do this impractical thing (straightening her hair all the time) like 60% out of habit and 20% out of shame and 20% she doesn't know what else to do

something something about a missed potential character arc regarding all of this and in general there's so little mind paid to race in hazel's povs which is just ridiculous to me because a black girl from the jim crow era should have at least a few feelings about where she fits into modern society even if that society is camp jupiter. rick demonstrates his capacity to talk about how his characters feel about their race most notably in the kane chronicles so I don't think was too much to ask for. see this quote from an early son of neptune chapter:

^ like....... hazel's feelings of out-of-place-ness are There in the text and important to take note of when understanding her character (note that she's been there for like a year already and she still feels like she doesn't belong) but the emphasis is always put on her Being from a different time or Being undead and is never put on her out-of-place-ness regarding her race as a black girl from segregation times who is literally so out-of-place in this weird post-racial camp jupiter society. it feels like such an obvious thing to consider so its glaring absence really bugs me when I reread her povs and it bugs me when her hair is never talked about by extension because It Matters

you might be thinking "well she had a lot going on and she's not a superficial person maybe she just didn't care what was going on with her hair" and my response is simply that Black girls don't get to "not care" about their hair it is not the same thing as a white person going to school with bedhead it's not the same thing At All (if you aren't black then chances are you've never actually seen what untouched black hair looks like in the morning), especially when it's been beaten into your head for your entire life that your hair is ugly and you have to "do something to it" for it to be acceptable (and again...... she's from the 1930s so that feeling is magnified like 50x over). remember that perpetually dolled up modest 1930s woman I mentioned previously. picture her time traveling to camp jupiter of all places in 2010 and struggling to drop all of her makeup/hairstyling routines and internalized misogyny and conceptualizations of what women are "supposed" to be. this is the kind of fascinating character exploration that we really missed out on with hazel (and tbh regardless of her race she was never believably written as someone from the 1930s. I don't think rick even really tried to be honest)

you might also be wondering "how was rick supposed to know/attempt to portray any of that" and then my second answer is that If you're going to write a character who is not the same race as you then you should do some research and we have the internet now so research has never been easier 👍 this would be especially important to do if that person is a poc from the jim crow era I think! (he could have at least googled black hair 1930s)

anyways what I choose to believe (this is pure fanfiction) is that during hazel's first year at camp jupiter (remember that she was there for about a year before son started) nico would have helped her figure something out after observing her distress over her hair c: like they both secretly watched youtube videos on black hairstyles circa 2010 and then they got attacked by monsters for using a laptop (neither of them know how to use a laptop but he's trying his best for her) but then after killing them he helped her do her hair as something she likes that is easy to maintain <3 (I could also see reyna doing this because she surely knows a thing or two from her spa days)

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive had several people tell me that my take on teruhashi is overdramatized but like. it genuinely isnt and i say that with my whole chest.

i KNOW that the girls in saiki k are written pretty stereotypically and yeah im 100% sure that asou didnt really mean to make his character a deep take on beauty standards and misogyny, but he was writing a parodied take on the perfect girl trope and focused a lot on how people objectify her and how shes never truly satisfied because shes always trying to fit what men want from her... so thats how it turned out. im not overdramatizing it, im just using more descriptive terms for it 🤷🏻‍♀️

[fromtheseventhhell]

I love how people are only ever interested in defending Arya's right to be weird-looking. It's never defending her intelligence from people who claim she's incapable of thinking for herself, highlighting her importance to the plot and refusing to see her as just a prop, acknowledging how much of her story gets stolen and given to other characters, talking about her trauma or how often it gets erased and overlooked, seeing her as more than just an attack dog/bodyguard, etc. Nope. It's just a "why can't people let Arya be ugly/unconventional looking? :(" post every other week because people are, for whatever reason, obsessed with how Arya is visually perceived. One of the most misinterpreted characters yet the issue is only ever with her being portrayed as "too pretty" or the wrong "type" of pretty. This fandom will entirely rewrite a character's motivations, values, and role in the story to the point that they consider references to canon "hate" but! The true injustice to canon is we acknowledge that she is described as pretty several times. Arya simply existing as her pretty, important, and non-conforming self is too complex and confusing for people to comprehend 😔.

[unrealisticallyyours]

obligatory TW rewatch scott appreciation post bc he's so interesting and fun as a character

i genuinely adore how the writers gave scott such a loving personality? like his first instinct when he meets allison is to give her a pen because he heard that she needed one. he tags along with stiles ep 1 because stiles wanted to see the body (why would an asthmatic with school in the morning want to go traipsing out into the wilderness to see a dead body??). throughout the series he takes in strays (lol) even if they've ACTIVELY TRIED TO KILL HIM in the past. and the part that i love the most is how the writers gave him room to be a bad person, too. they gave him moments where he was a bad friend, a bad boyfriend. but they didn't make those moments ones that outshone his real personality. they were treated like moments he grew from and made him into an even kinder person.

scott doesn't get the love he deserves imo he's such a well written character and someone i strive to emulate

[doverstar]

to be clear, I think Rose Tyler being an often-selfish character is great. I think it's great because real women are selfish. Real women get petty. Real women hear their ex boyfriend say he's going out with a mutual acquaintance and get unfairly jealous and real women then say things like "she's a bit big" when they shouldn't and they have no right. Real women can be monsters, and Rose Tyler is relatable and I love how she is written and I love her, thanks for listening

[whatsjulietslastname]

There’s something so very utterly tragic about the way that one of Max character’s main trait is that she’s been feeling constantly homesick since she was thirteen years old and that she had to let go of her home somehow in both ending (Arcadia Bay in the bae ending, Chloe in the bay one) meaning that no matter how much she tries to go back and clings to the past it’s never enough, in this essay I will—

[audliminal]

It's barely the end of the first day of school, and three faculty members are dead. Nobody knows much yet, but supposedly the six freshman who all managed to get detention on the very first day of school were involved and, if the rumors are to be believed, two of them actually died. In a dumb fight in the cafeteria against some animated corn. Kipperlily rolls her eyes when she hears it. They're clearly a bunch of losers who are going to either drop out or get someone killed before the year is out, but that's not really her problem, is it?

Still, just to be on the safe side, maybe their party should spend some time in the woods behind the school, and get some practice in with rats and things before they find themselves involved in a fight like those dumb detention kids did.

It's a month into the school year, and Kipperlily's starting to get the hang of things. She's feeling comfortable in a fight now, they've been killing rats and twig gremlins in the Far Haven Woods as often as they can manage, and they're getting really good at it. They even have a name now, the High 5 Heroes, chosen by Kipperlily herself, of course.

Meanwhile, Kipperlily's pretty sure the kids from detention actually killed someone, though nobody seems to be talking about it. Kipperlily doesn't care what anyone says, she's heard multiple people say they saw members of their group talking to Penelope Sam and Johnny spells, and then the day after Johnny Spells gets killed in a fucking car chase, the rich kid, who's literally the son of a pirate, has a mysterious new motorcycle? It's all far too suspicious.

It's the week after winter break, and Kipperlily is stuck in the stupid guidance councilor's office, talking about her dumb feelings. Unlike the Bad Kids (and what kind of stupid name is that), who apparently had an adventure dropped in their lap within minutes of the first school day ending, Kipperlily has been waiting months and still nothing has popped up. Plus Oisin and Ivy keep joking about changing their party name to the Rat Grinders.

It's dumb. Who would want a party name that's based on some joke? Besides, she already chose the name. So why on earth would they change it now? At least Lucy seems to agree with her about it.

It's just days after prom, and Kipperlily is sick of everything. The stupid Bad Kids apparently crashed prom and literally defeated Kalvaxus, Emperor of the Red Waste. It's honestly bullshit. A dumb group of kids that couldn't even make it through one day of school without getting one third of their party killed, and they're being credited with saving the entire continent? Kipperlily's been digging into the Bad Kids' history with every moment of her free time, trying to figure out how a bunch of dumb untrained kids managed something so huge. And she thinks she might have cracked it.

Kristen Applebees is literally Helio's Chosen One, and apparently Adaine Abernant is the new Oracle of the Elves. Kipperlily doesn't know what Fig, Fabian, or Gorgug's deals are yet, but if rumors are to be believed, then Riz Gukgak's dad was eaten by the very same Kalvaxus. Clearly the entire reason the Bad Kids are succeeding is because of their personal histories.

And to make matters worse, Oisin and Ivy managed to get the rest of the party to go along with the stupid Rat Grinders name. and Mary Ann didn't even have a reason for it! The only one who voted with her was Lucy. So now they've got a dumb name and no real adventuring prospects, and all the while, a bunch of kids who skip classes and get arrested are somehow getting perfect grades with no effort.

It's sophomore year and everything is terrible. The Rat Grinders meet every day to kill rats in the woods and it's dumb and boring, and not even a little bit difficult anymore, and she has to go to weekly councilor sessions with Jawbone, who's an ally of her rival adventuring party, which. Aguefort already clearly likes them, and even before he was resurrected they had managed to get two of their allies positions in the school. Which has to be an unfair advantage. And now Fig's dad is the vice principal rather than the lunch lad. It's really no wonder they never seem to get in trouble for skipping classes or any of their other bullshit.

At least she can use their connection with Jawbone to her advantage. Every meeting with him, she mines him for new information on the Bad Kids, who have been doing absolutely nothing so far this year.

It's sophomore year and The Rat Grinders are going to finally get their chance! Porter and Jace have approached her with the opportunity of a lifetime! Porter even said she shows a lot of promise! He doesn't even seem to take issue with his anger, and he says that he's going to help her become an amazing adventurer. All she has to do is accept this weird little rage star thing and start worshipping some dead god of rage. Kipperlily honestly isn't that much into religion, but this is the first interesting thing to happen to her all day. She's already working to convince Lucy to change her god.

It's sophomore year and even as Kipperlily is finally making progress, the Bad Kids are still showing her up. Somehow, they ended up fighting the Nightmare King himself, defeating him and somehow in the process, Kristen Applebees managed to ressurect a dead god of her own. It's bullshit and literally the only reason they manage to get back in time for the end of spring break is the direct intervention of the principal again. Plus now Fig has somehow managed to become an Archdevil and start dating Principal Aguefort's daughter. As if she wasn't already a rockstar.

It's sophomore year and Kipperlily's going to make the Rat Grinders the best adventuring party at Aguefort, even if it kills her.

It's junior year and the Bad Kids seemed determined to ruin her life. It's bullshit. They literally didn't even know who she was before this year, and they seem determined to ruin everything she's working towards. On the first day of school, they all collectively decided that Kristen was going to run for school president, seemingly as a bit, the exact second that they find out she's running. And immediately on meeting her they made fun of her fucking name for literally no reason.

It's junior year and everything's going to plan. Kristen's been expelled, and the Bad Kids are taking The Last Stand, and they've got the perfect opportunity to get rid of all the Bad Kids for good. And yet somehow Kristen fucking Applebees manages to ruin their fucking plans perfectly, spotting her out before she can succeed in killing the proctor and Buddy. Instead she has to kill Buddy and let Oisin take her away before the Bad Kids can do anything. So of course the Bad Kids get a literal perfect score on The Last Stand, and now they've all aced their classes for the whole year.

It's junior year and they're summoning a dead god. It's junior year and they find out as they're casting the spell, that the name they'd gotten was fucking wrong. It's junior year and despite all their preparations the Bad Kids have managed to get to the gymnasium with all their stupid fucking votes. It's junior year and Kipperlily is at least going to kill Riz. It's junior year and Riz literally dives into lava.

It's junior year and Kipperlily's going to kill Riz. He thinks he's hiding, but she can see him, and she's going to have to close with him, but this is her opportunity, and then she's in the air, and he's got her in a hold person spell, and she's falling, and she's in the lava, and it's so hot, and it burns, and then it's all gone.

It's junior year and Kipperlily is dead. It's junior year and she's in a world of crystal spines and lava, and in the reflections of the crystals, Kipperlily can see everything. She sees herself in those wretched meetings with jawbone, kicking at the leg of the chair, and she can see Jawbone asking her every fucking time, what can she do to become a better adventurer. As if it was ever in her control. As if she ever could have done anything. As if it wasn't all about her backstory the whole time. As if she weren't the boring daughter of two boring people. As if she had ever had a chance.

"Did you ever try?" She hears a voice ask. And then Ankarna is there. The god that she tried so hard to kill. "Did you ever really try to become a better adventurer, or did you just wait for it to happen to you?"

"I did everything I could!" Kipperlily insists. "It's unfair, why should they get all the advantages?"

"Were they really ever advantages? Or did you just decide they were?"

"You think those idiots deserved their success? All they ever do is screw around!"

"That is not what I have seen of them. Nor have I seen any better of you. Of course, you did your schoolwork and you did it to the letter, but when did you ever challenge yourself? When did you ever take a risk? When did you ever seek out a task that was more than what you felt certain you would succeed at? Would you have even have the courage to take part in Porter's plan if he had not personally trained you, ensured that you were all as powerful as possible? You insist that the Bad Kids are only successful because of their tragic history, but what of Gorgug? There is not one thing in his past that drives him and yet he has succeeded at doing things no one else has ever managed." Ankarna stares long and hard at her, and then she is gone and Kipperlily is alone again. With nothing in her death but her own thoughts to keep her company.

[jzargo]

I know we love to clown on Cassandra for shoving responsibility onto other people - making Cullen of all people the military advisor for some reason, forcing some rando to be Inquisitor - but I think this is very much a deliberate character choice for her. I don't think she makes a good leader, and I think she's at least semi-aware of this.

Cassandra is someone who needs authority; she needs someone - or something - to follow. She is the most broken by Divine Justinia's death, not just because she lost a close friend, but because she lost the strongest authority figure and source of stability in her life. She's desperate to find the real Lord Seeker, in spite of all evidence earlier pointing to him probably being dead or a traitor, because she needs an authority figure. When she finds out the truth about the Seekers, she asks the Inquisitor whether she should reform them or not, and if the Inquisitor tells her no, she doesn't disapprove, she thanks them. She needed someone to tell her to let them go.

And what happens when Cassandra is put in a position of leadership? What happens when Cassandra is made Divine? Does she take risks, or use the information she's learned about the Seekers, the Chantry, and the Inquisition to make serious reforms in the Chantry? No. She reverts immediately to how things used to be; she falls back on the structure that she's used to, on what's familiar and comfortable. Because she needs that structure as a sense of security, for better or worse.

[stuffyflowers]

I hateee when ppl use the fact that cerobas story revolves so heavily around chujin to act like her character is devoid of substance bc cerobas character being so heavily defined by her loved ones is the point!!!!! She’s incredibly self-loathing, she’s implied to care more about disappointing her family than any injury to herself, she sees herself as the sole cause of all her loved ones’ suffering and pain!!!!!! Of course we’re not going to find out that much about her own personal interests and desires, she herself doesn’t care about them, especially not now! She doesn’t think she deserves to follow her own dreams! It’s her duty to carry out a blatantly horrendous plan left for her by chujin because she views everything he does as more important than anything she has to offer! Her arc is not only her letting go of her idolisation of chujin but in conjunction learning that she can be she can be her own person, stop living in her late husband’s shadow and accept help from the people who love her. She can be needy.

[smile-files]

just out of curiosity: for friends and followers with schizophrenia, psychosis, or any other mental disorder causing delusions/hallucinations, how do you feel about suitcase ii being a representation of that?

ii doesn't have the best track record for mental disorder representation as it is (cough cough paper cough cough bomb cough cough cabby), so i have reason to be skeptical about suitcase... from my perspective, as someone without any such disorder, the handling of her mental disorder is unnuanced but well-intentioned at best, and a tacky, cliched attempt to create drama at worst. but i'd like to hear what other people think! thank you!

[electricpurrs]

tex red vs blue is insanely transgender but im the only one who sees it that way because im crazy in the head.

what if there was a past version of yourself. a woman, a wife, a mother, with long hair and a sweet smile. and she died long ago. and you are her. but you are not her. you're nothing like her, but the people who knew her desperately want you to be her, want to preserve the memory they have in their minds of the woman they loved through you. but you never asked to be her, never asked to carry the burden of someone else's expectation of who or what you should be. you have a new name. you prefer to go by this one. people remark on how weird it is that it's a guy's name. sometimes the people who loved [the past version of] you call you by your old name. they are not referring to you when they say it. you live in the shadows of someone who's long gone, and you're something different now, but you don't feel like you're ever allowed to define yourself on your own terms, to be your own person, to control your own life, because you exist solely through the memories people had of you. and the longer she has been gone for, the more desperately people try to get her back, the less you resemble her and the less you know who you are, or if you ever even got to be anything at all. what i mean is that transition could have saved him