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alienducky · 2 years ago

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I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BLORBOS (if you want)

So I had to double check what Blorbo means, and apparently it means your favourite character? In which case may I present a good % of the FE3H cast? ;P

I just... I love most of the students in different ways for different things?

Claude is just... Claude. He has so many layers to him, being both incredibly simple (in terms of what he ultimately wants) and also stupidly complex (in how he goes about getting those things)? He wants to make connections, make friends, bring everyone together, but has been burned too many times while growing up to ever really trust anyone. He's always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for that knife to land in his back. His closest friend is Hilda who openly shits on Almyra because she's a casual racist, and that has to kill him on some level, wondering what she'd say about him if she knew, and yet she's still his best friend who he openly mourns when she goes down fighting for him? Who he can't stand the thought of losing in Hopes? He has to be in charge, of everything. Has to know all the details, make all the plans. And then makes plans for in case the first ones fail. He never stops thinking, calculating, digging up all the information available, because knowledge is power. Not just for blackmail, but because understanding your opponent means you can predict them.

Claude's just great, and I could pick him apart for hours.

Also? He has a wyvern. So, ya know. I'm very simple and predictable, ok?

I also love Leonie. She's solid, very open and honest. Kinda stubborn, but open to learning and can admit when she's wrong. Puts Lorenz in his place which is always a bonus. I want her to be my friend!

Same with Raphael and Caspar to some degree. Caspar is a little less willing to the whole learning thing, but with enough rope to tie him to the chair so he can't run away I think he'd eventually listen? Raph sees the good in everyone and everything, always willing to help, and stands up for his beliefs. They're muscle heads, but fundamentally kind people who deserve way more love than they get

Marianne is a peach who straight up talks to animals! Hilda is a riot when she pulls her head out her racist ass who has way more depth than she lets on, with the whole loyalty till death thing, and her creative side with the jewellery. I want to tease Lysithea like Claude does and feed her cake and sweets while we discuss magic. Ignatz is doing his best and the flashes of backbone he shows in early supports are amazing

Annette and Ashe are wonderful and deserve all the best things in life. Two little cinnamon rolls trying to make the best of their monuments of childhood trauma

Sylvain is.... Um. Ok, he's kinda an ass sometimes, and if he were real I'd probably hate him, but the snippets of who he could have been without all that Miklan and crest trauma? That version of him I love. The one who goes all out for his friends, who is a self sacrificing moron who hurts himself over and over because he somehow thinks it'll make things better? The one who cares so, so deeply when he lets himself, despite trying to push everyone away and keep them at arm's reach so they can't hurt him first. The version of him who is loyal to a fault, through thick and thin, and who is forever torn and on some level broken in non Blue Lion routes.

That Sylvain I love. The one behind the smiling playboy mask he shows the world.

Petra is a Bean. A Very Good Bean. She deserves all the love and kindness and all the help she wants tracking down the bastards who dragged her from her home and then made fun of her being dumped in a completely alien society. She is so damn strong, both physically (srsly she's been a crit machine in every playthrough it's insane) and mentally, I don't have the words

Thea is great in every way. She's kind and compassionate and is lethal with her snark. I want her to adopt me as her little sister and teach me her ways

Bernie needs a hug. And also all the help she wants disposing of her father because I know she's creative herself but I have some ideas if she wants them? Despite how much she wants to hide, and complains about being made to go out, she does go out to help her friends when they need her

Cyril is amazing. I love him to bits. Absolutely no fucks left to give for Hilda's bullshit. Slowly learning how to have friends. Learning to rely on people other than Rhea. He's wonderful and adorable and he'd hate me for it but I want to ruffle his hair and help him with his chores and make sure he's not getting blisters and feed him tasty Almyran food coz I bet he misses it, even if he won't admit it.

Shamir is everything I wanted to be growing up. No nonsense, take no shit, super smart, stealthy, and an archer??? She's great. I need that Marge Simpson meme

Seteth is fantastic, because once you get past that straight faced rules lawyer, he has a wicked sense of humour and a playful side and is such a dad. He's kind and caring, and he honestly does care, even if he shows it oddly

Byleth is whatever I want them to be. Blank slate, who nevertheless loves the people they pick in each route. Fierce and loyal and loving and struggling to express barely understood emotions... And putting up with Sothis being a gremlin

And then omg, Shez. Shez Shez Shez. The embodiment of no thoughts head empty. No filter, at all. Jumps off fucking cliffs for funsies. Multiple times!!!!! I just. I love Shez, ok? I am in desperate need of Shez merch, and Etsy is failing me. All I can find is the occasional sticker and I am a very sad Duckie about it

Ahem

Non FE3H is a little difficult... Mostly because 3H is my current obsession, but I guess...

Arlo and Oaks, from My Time at Portia are great? Arlo eats spaghetti, kicks down doors, and gets sweaty in the summer. Oaks is the Best Bear Boy Bean in the world. Shame the Devs dropped the ball on developing him, or giving him a decent backstory (I have so, so many questions about how he was raised)

Also, probably don't count, but the Cotton Llamas and Panbats. They are my Blorbos too. I need to finish making my third Panbat... As soon as I work out where I stashed it <__<;;;

Dys from I Was A Teenage Exocolonist is great! Little rebel baby. Also Sym, who is... Not really someone you can sum up easily? Cal is also great! I need to get back to playing this game, so I can romance him. Or not, because I want him to be happy with Tammy... Nngh

I think that's everyone I'd consider a Blorbo...? I mean, I love a bunch of other characters from different things, but none I've got out of my way to buy merch for like I have Claude (and the other students to some extent. Looking at my sticker covered table).

Sorry that got so long >__<;;;

#i got an ask!#sorry this got kinda long and rambly

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lady-cayleen · 2 years ago

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Cayleen's Cheese Sheet pt 6.

Mental Attitudes and Beliefs

Emotional, psychological, and/or social peculiarities: while naturally reserved and prone to internalizing distress of any sort, Cayleen has also been prone to public outbursts since before she was a worgen, and now that she is one, she's that much more so.

Phobias: none

Philias: none

Intelligence level:

Self-confidence: not especially high

Optimist or pessimist? Cayleen assumes everything will usually try to go wrong but will shake out okay in the end. Both? Both. Both is good.

Emotional or logical? Cayleen strives to be logical but most often takes the route of emotional reaction.

Dominant or submissive? Depends who it is!

Patient or impatient? Both, situationally.

Compassionate or Narcissistic? Compassionate.

Sense of trust: almost non-existent

Sense of humor: Cayleen laughs easily at most humor, but appreciates dry amusement in otherwise joyless countances.

Favorite thing about themself: If Cayleen takes any pride in herself, it's in being dependable.

Least favorite thing about themself: Her temper

They are most comfortable when: Spending leisure time with close friends

They are least comfortable when: expected to lead

Approach to life: do your best whenever you must as often as you must and live every joy between to the fullest

What do they value? People

Whom do they love best? Her father (deceased though he may be), her mother, Declaryn Milvain, Rory Gallagher, Grayson Duskford, Orla Goldenmane, and Magee Farthing

What would they die for? King, country, duty, family, friends, in defense of the defenseless

Personal philosophy: “You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent.”

–Paulo Coelho

(-ish)

If granted one wish, what would it be? To give everyone else in the world back the person they loved most.

What is their greatest fear? To lose everyone she cares about.

Prejudices: Cayleen does not look at other businessmen and nobles through the kindest lens. She also harbors a particular if understandable disdain for the Forsaken.

Explain: a life of bad experiences has left Cayleen with a bad taste in her mouth for those who misuse or abuse people for their own gain.

Political beliefs:

Greatest Strength: Extremely organized, emotionally aware, very hard worker

Greatest Weakness: easily annoyed, can be uncooperative, somewhat reckless

Fatal flaw: Loyal to a fault

Less-fatal flaw: self-critical

Strengths: sympathetic and empathetic, good listener, team player

Biggest vulnerability: criticism from those close to her

Biggest regret: biting Hurley

Other regrets: almost getting herself and Rory drowned, clawing Rory's face in a temper tantrum, not coming to Drustvar sooner

Biggest accomplishment: Cayleen has better than usual teleportation skills, for a mage, though not on par with the Lord Admiral's…yet.

Quirks: eyes glow when angry, night walks or jogging, up all hours of the night in general, tendency to sleep through morning, binge eating.

Biggest secrets: knows that she was engaged to Harbin Blackstead, that Decla was in love with him, and that Harbin was in love with and actively involved with a rival family's daughter.

Does anyone else know? Hurley Blackstead, Aishatou Harwell, and Grayson Duskford are aware she was engaged to Harbin. She has kept Decla's affection for Harbin to herself. Rory entrusted her with Harbin's secret after both Harbin's and his lover's death.

Short-term goals: Kill the witch(es), impress Grayson's parents (or at least don't piss them off).

Long-term goals: Forge an alliance and safe haven for the peoples of House Duskford and House Hartwell.

What is stopping the character from achieving these goals? A decided lack of ship- and experience.

What does the character work to gain, keep, or protect? People

Which person would the character like to emulate the most? her father

Which person would the character like to emulate the least? Lady Taische Blackstead and Lady Mailsi Hartwell

What occurrence does the character most fear? Losing her mother.

Write a paragraph as if you were the character talking about themself:

"I'm a Gilnean, a noblewoman, and a mage. I'm blessed and cursed and everything in between. I'm a bit of an anxious person, but I like to think I'm patient, a good listener, and rational- most of the time. I'm afraid I have a bit of a temper, but I'm usually rather friendly."

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wearywinchester · 3 years ago

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Waiting Game

Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: A look into how Dean handles and reacts to you being in the hospital after a hunt gone wrong.

Requested by Anonymous: “Hi! Love your fics!! Could I request something where the reader gets hurt on a hunt and ends up in the hospital and lots of angsty Dean when he doesn’t know if she’s going to be okay and while he waits for her to wake up...? Maybe a little bit of Sam trying to comfort him as best he can while they wait... please and thank you!”

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: angst, injury, mentions of blood, hospitals, swearing, fluff

Dean Winchester.

There were a million words you could use to describe him, a million different ways to and maybe even more. He was loyal, willing to put every last bit of his life on the line for the sake of preserving the safety of those he cares about most, and even those he hasn’t known for longer than a mere day or two. Along with that came the fierce protectiveness of his nature, a trait that will always be there with him until his last breath.

He was kind, compassionate despite the myriad of misfortune life has thrown onto him and continues to, putting everyone else first, giving everyone else the comfort and gentle kindness that he so desperately deserves. He was the sweetest man you’ve ever known regardless of the faults he carries with him.

But, regardless of that, Dean Winchester’s got a stubborn streak, and he’s got the hottest temper of anyone you’ve ever known. That anger comes out in different ways, shows up for a variety of reasons and most of them all revolve around the blame he casts upon himself. It wasn’t very hard to catch onto that either as much as he may say otherwise. He has never been one to hold himself in a high regard by any means, and that much is more than obvious to even someone who hasn’t known him for more than a few minutes.

Perhaps the most prominent trait, one that’s expressed nearly the most frequently is anger. His anger is almost always fueled by that self loathing kick he’s got going on for almost the entirety of the twenty-six years he’s been alive and kicking. He’ll find any excuse to blame himself for something, that feeling coming out through yelling and huffing, sarcastic wit and narrowed glares.

Anger is what was bursting through him in constant waves ever since that incident happened on that damn hunt

He was angry. He was pissed at that werewolf for taking his chances and hurting his sweetheart, he’d give anything to have taken the brunt of it. He was pissed at himself for letting it happen. Anyone with sense, anyone with even a single ounce of logic and rationality would be able to see that it wasn’t Dean’s fault. Not even a little bit. If it were up to him, any monster that existed on the face of the Earth wouldn’t have so much as a single chance to lay a hand on you. He wouldn’t let it happen if it were up to him but it’s not, it’s up to the fate of being a hunter.

Accidents happen, it’s all a part of the job, it’s a matter of being prepared to take on the challenges of its unpredictability that controls the outcome.

His jaw was tenser than ever the entire drive to the hospital, having driven a little faster than he should’ve been over the speed limit, taking turns way faster than safely necessary. He was hurt, not as much as you, but he was injured and he couldn’t care less about it. He didn’t even notice much of anything other than the way you’d been slumped in the backseat with Sam to make sure you were okay. It took everything in him to keep from letting his gaze remain in the rearview, knew another accident wasn’t in his best interest and certainly wasn’t in yours.

When the three of you had finally arrived at the hospital, his frustration only elevated, it only intensified along with his worries. He nearly blew a fuse when a trio of nurses had whisked you away, away from him with the inability to go with you and a brief mention of what was happening and where they were taking you. It was informative but far more vague than he wanted to hear. In fact, he hadn’t even really heard just what it was that they were saying to him, stress and worry clouding his mind more than anything and he was starting to think things were out of his control.

He hated it, all of it he did. He didn’t care about some cut or scratch on his forehead, didn’t care about the handful of miscellaneous bumps and bruises he didn’t even realize he had. The nurse had her hands full with the older Winchester, because he was proving to be combative with the way he went on and on with his concerns for where you are and what was going on, with the way he couldn’t and wouldn’t hold still worth a damn.

It may have been part of her job to patch people up, to give them stitches and bandage wounds, but she didn’t hold a candle to the job you did. You may not have been a professional or an expert, but you could make any injury feel almost painless, bearable as you patched him up.

But his attention was so clearly elsewhere as she worked her way around the restless, green eyed hunter that she’s got to take care of. His brows were seemingly permanently furrowed, knit together deeply in a more than visible display of his anguish, those dimples by the corners of his mouth there to accompany it. Sam had to all but smack the back of his head to get him to hold still, to get him to shut up and think rationally.

You were at the hospital and you were safe, you were getting the medical attention you needed, it could only get better from there, right?

Dean didn’t seem to think so, not as he made his way to your room in record time, nearly plowing down a nurse in the process. The look of determination on his face had been something similar to his look of anger, both having equally been intimidating enough to keep people from wanting to get in his way.

He was a million times more irritable, a million times more high strung and stressed out upon seeing you in that hospital bed. He was next to insufferable if you asked Sam.

“She’s going to be fine, you know,” Sam says, speaking up after watching his brother sit there on the edge of the seat at your bedside, the heel of his boot tapping away on the hospital floor.

The look he gives his brother is incredulous, head turning to cast his glare upon him and that crease between his brows deepens a little more than before. His hands dropped from where they’d been clasped to support his head when he’d rested his chin on them.

“And what if she’s not? She got tossed like a freakin’ ragdoll by a damn werewolf back there. I’m not gonna sit here and act like that isn’t a big deal,” he says, tone as harsh as his expression.

“Dean, the doctor said she has a mild concussion. No broken bones, no major injuries, what you see is what she’s got. She’s not in a coma, she just needs some rest and she’ll be awake soon,” he explained, his attempt at reassurance doing next to nothing to soothe his brother’s incessant worrying.

The scoff he gets in return is proof enough of that.

“Yeah, and what if she doesn’t, Sam? What the hell am I supposed to do then?”

Sam sighs, sitting back against his seat as his lips purse softly. Dean was stubborn as ever and there was no denying that. He took a moment to think of his next words, words that he knew wouldn’t be listened to even for a second because Dean was set on making everything worse than it really is. He may have been keeping his cool, and barely at that, but on the inside he was losing his mind over this. He knew what the life of a hunter was all about, he knew how it ends, and that hardened exterior and tough guy outlook was crumbling the more he watched you lay there in that hospital bed.

“She’s okay, Dean.”

He laughs, bitter and humorless as he shakes his head. His gaze lingers on you, brows furrowed as that anguish paints itself all over his expression as he looks at you until that feeling he’s got in the pit of his stomach is near unbearable. That bittersweet smile tugging lightly at the corner of his mouth is barely there, his stare meeting his brother’s.

“Well I’m glad you don’t think this is a big deal, Sammy. Really, I am,” he says, his tone indicating the opposite of sincerity.

He didn’t give Sam a chance to respond nor did he want to as he stood to his feet and left the room, disappearing down the hall and leaving his brother to slump in his seat and run his hand through his hair.

Dean made it to the parking lot, made it halfway to Baby before he talked himself out of going out for a drive. He had the keys clutched tightly in his hand, the dull metal digging into his palm as he clenched his fist. He made it to the parking lot, taking that few minutes in the brisk night air and it helped to clear out some of the anger. The cold weather helped to cool down the singe and searing of that frustrated running hot through him. It brought him some sense.

It took him fifteen minutes to get his head on straight, to quit being quite so riled up. It took him fifteen minutes before he came back to that room, two coffees in hand, one of them having been handed to Sam before he slumped back into his seat to sit by your side.

It’d been a few hours since anyone had said anything besides a greeting from the nurse that came in to check your vitals, offering a brief bout of reassurance that you were just fine to the less than thrilled looking hunter that refused to leave your side another time. The guilt from the first time was sitting and simmering in the back of his mind.

He was too afraid to try and squeeze his way onto the hospital bed with you despite having clearance from the nurse after Sam went and ratted him out by asking. He was treating you as if you were made of glass and he couldn’t convince himself of anything but that.

So, he settled for sitting half crumpled in that less than comfortable chair for the next few hours, his back screaming for him to make a change in position but he didn’t give in, wasn’t concerned about his own comfort when there were more pressing things to think about. To worry about even if it wasn’t entirely necessary.

The hours that passed may have been able to be counted on one hand, but they felt like the equivalent to an eternity, to a lifetime as the clock on the wall ticked away.

The TV mounted on the wall had been turned on a while ago, a show having been playing that he couldn’t remember the title of, or half the plot even though his eyes had been on the screen for a good chunk of time. His tired gaze flickered between the TV and you, his stare lingering a little longer each and every time.

Sam kept urging him to get some sleep, that he can’t run on lukewarm hospital coffee and nothing else just for the sake of keeping himself awake. He was stubborn, and that was something he fully anticipated, having insisted he wasn’t tired, that he was fine when he was so clearly losing it on the inside and it was slowly seeping out into the way he spoke and the way he’d been acting.

But, at some point, he couldn’t fight his fatigue any longer despite the way he scolded himself to keep it up for your sake. He wanted to keep an eye on you in fear that something else would hurt you if he didn’t, that something worse would happen that you wouldn’t be able to recover from had he not been on his A game to keep it from happening. He wanted to be alert to make sure you were okay at all times, at every passing second, but it rapidly became a battle he couldn’t keep up with.

He couldn’t keep his head up, arm propped up on the bed before he rested his head in the crook of his arm. It didn’t take very much before he fell asleep, one that wasn’t nearly as restful as he’d like it to be, as he needed it to be. But he took what he could get even if his guilt upon doing so was trying it’s hardest to keep him awake.

He barely settled for losing that battle, didn’t seem to have a choice in the matter as he slouched in that chair at your side, his other hand in yours.

In those hours, somewhere along the way you’d gathered enough energy, mustered up enough to stir. You almost didn’t stand a chance as fatigue weighed heavy on your eyelids, as that sore pain started easing it’s way in the more alert you became. You were hurting and you surely took a beating on that hunt, that much was obvious. You’ve got the aches and pains to prove it, and you were more than exhausted.

Granted, you weren’t exactly expecting to wake up in a hospital room. It was disorienting, confusing to wake up in an unfamiliar place with the sound of machines and the hustle and bustle of staff and patients and visiting friends and families going about their business just on the other side of the door. It was confusing until the reality set in on what landed you here in the first place, when your memory began to flood back when you woke up a little more.

The adjustment to the lighting was one that was hard to make, the change having been harsh on your eyes and hurting your head, forcing you to taper back to a squint for a moment or two. With a glance around the room, you spotted a bag by the bed, your clothes stuffed away in there. Your eyes bounced around, looking till you spotted Sam who sat in one of the chairs for visitors. But what your gaze landed on next was what stole your attention immediately.

Right at your side was the green eyed hunter who’d been a nervous wreck this entire time. His hand was heavy and warm as it enveloped your own, calloused against the back of your hand as his fingers wrapped around your palm. His hair was a ruffled mess, something that was more than telling of his stress and the habit he kept. He was still seemingly asleep, though you knew it was light and you knew whatever rest he may have gotten was minimal.

You lifted your other hand, ignored the soreness you felt and the pain that came with the action because your reasoning was much more important than that. You were gentle as you ran your hand over his head, over his hair that stuck up every which way. You were light with your touch as you swiped your thumb along the cut running across his forehead.

That’s all it took. That simple touch was all it took for him to stir and lift his head, eyes tired yet fully alert all the same.

You could see the myriad of emotions wash over him as he met your gaze, could see the relief he felt even if he refused to admit the extent of it. He swallows thickly as he sits up, his hand squeezing around yours as he scoots in a little closer to you.

“Hey sweetheart,” he says, almost in disbelief, but his grogginess was rapidly beginning to wear off as the seconds passed. “How you feelin’?”

“Sore, what do you think?” You say, your smile in your words and the grin on your face having worked wonders to soothe the tension that sat heavy in his stomach for hours on end.

“Givin’ me attitude already?” he says, brushing your hair out of your face with the tips of his fingers, lips pursed in a different kind of way, those dimples reappearing in his efforts to stifle his smile.

You nod lightly, your smile still remaining as you look at him. “You bet, Winchester.”

He’d softened up quite a bit, became much less high strung than he was before you woke up. You didn’t know that he’d been so worked up though you can certainly expect that he was. You didn’t know that he snapped at Sam, or was nearly kicked out by staff for being too loud and worked up. You didn’t know that he’d stormed out to take a breather, or just how badly he blamed himself for the fact that you’re here in the first place. Even if you hadn’t wound up here, even if it was something he could patch up for you on his own, he’d still blame every bit of it on himself.

You didn’t know that he fought to keep himself awake, downing three and a half terrible coffees in the process. Didn’t know that he asked the doctors and attending nurses a million and one times to check on you, or to make sure you’re still as okay as you were when he asked ten minutes before that. You didn’t know he’d been tapping the heel of his boot on the floor for nearly the entire time he’d been in that room.

You looked at him, at the tiredness in his eyes despite the softness of the smile on his lips. You looked at the crease between his brows that hadn’t quite left yet, and the look of concern that still very much pooled in his eyes.

“You’ve been a nervous wreck this whole time, haven’t you?” You ask.

You don’t fail to notice the way he leans a little closer to your touch when you brush your thumb along his cheek, or the way he purses his lips at your words in a telling indication that you hit the nail on the head. He was worried as ever and you knew that for a fact, you knew him like the back of your hand.

“Me? I’m alright, sweetheart,” he says, eying the look of disbelief that appears on your face despite the way the action upsets the small cut sitting atop the bridge of your nose. He sees it and he knows what it’s about, a quiet laugh falling from his lips. “Don’t worry about me, Y/n/n, really I’m fine.”

“Dean,” you say, exhaling a sigh.

Your hand drops to his chin thumb pressing over the dimple he’s got there, the crease between your brows deepening a fraction.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” He asks, soft amusement in his expression that melds with that underlying concern.

“Now what do you think?” You say, that smile of yours returning once more.

He pulls your hand from his face as that grin on his own lips widens, bittersweet before it presses gently to your lips. He was worried, of course he was still worried, and he was terrified for the next hunt. The thoughts were spiraling and weighing heavier than ever on his mind, dizzying and clouding his mind in the worst ways sometimes. But right here, right now, you’re okay.

His touch is gentle when he settles his hand on your cheek, thumb swiping over your skin in the most tender of actions as he looks at you, really looks at you. You’ve got bumps and bruises and the sight, the mere thought even, it’s got his stomach twisting and churning as he gazes at you, as his thumb brushes back and forth over your cheek, that flurry of emotions rapidly flooding through him and flickering across his face.

It may have been a waiting game, one that took painfully long hours to get through, but now, as you look at him with that smile that puts him at ease, it makes it all worth it. Every single part.

—

Tags: @flamencodiva @stixnstripesworld @elegantbutedgy @agalliasi @campingmonkey @deandaydreaming @lanea-1 @akshi8278 @kidd3ath @malindacath @deanswaywardgirl @awkward-and-indecisive @ajreturnstocringeyaccount @drownthewitch @happytoexist @sparkyluz @nyotamalfoy

#dean winchester #dean winchester angst #dean winchester oneshot #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x you #dean winchester imagine

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vance-emmeline · 3 years ago

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ϟ ━ was that EMMELINE VANCE around the leaky cauldron ? SHE disapparated before i could approach them ! what a pity, for they are DETERMINED and LOYAL, but maybe it's best to keep my distance because they are also CLUMSY and FIERY. i remember that they were a RAVENCLAW back in school but have since made a name for themselves as a DAILY PROPHET JOURNALIST. if this alleged war came knocking on their door, it is supposed that they would FIGHT FOR DUMBLEDORE ( cis woman & she/her / zoey deutch / 26 / half-blood).

biography & statistics below the cut

𝒷𝒾𝑜𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓅𝒽𝓎

Emmeline Vance has always been described as ‘capable’. From a young age she was solving puzzles in creative ways and forging a path for herself early in life. Her parents offered Emmeline a safe and happy childhood, although they both worked long, exhausting hours at the ministry meaning that child-care was left to her grandfather who owned Honeydukes sweet shop. As a small child, there was nothing that Emme loved more than suggesting new sweets her grandpa to try and make to try and then helping him make the ideas from her imagination into a reality. When she was six years old, her grandpa gave her her own little apron and nametag for when she was at the store.

Helping out at the store truly shaped Emme as she grew up. All sorts of people stopped by the store in their trips to Hogsmeade - all shapes, all sizes, all races, all blood statuses. Emme naturally became kind and compassionate, willing to help whoever might need it no matter what their background. Her first signs of magic showed in the store - she had to carry 3 tubs of jelly slugs from the cellar to the top of the store, and managed to levitate one in front of her like grandpa did with a degree of concentration after huffing about the fact she couldn’t carry three with her little hands. Certainly, her grandfather was more of a parent than her own parents ever were.

The issue of parenting came to a head just before her ninth birthday, when her parents decided that they were going to move to France to start life afresh. Emme’s father had been offered a job at the French Ministry and they had taken it easily, jumping at the opportunity to start life again in the beauty of France. But Emme’s little heart broke at the idea of not only being taken away from Britain and the promise of Hogwarts, but from the most important person in her young life. A few roaring arguments between her father and grandfather while Emme was supposed to be sleeping (but was really hovering at the top of the stairs trying to listen to what the adults were saying) and the three adults called her downstairs asking her a simple question.

“Would you rather live in Britain with grandpa or move to France with Mummy and Daddy?”

Emme never answered verbally, but instead ran over and clung to her grandpa’s leg, who had been more of a father to her than her own father had. It wasn’t their fault, of course, that they worked long hours and hardly ever saw their daughter - but Emme’s decision was easy. And so it was that within the next few months Emme’s parents prepared to move away and prepared to leave their daughter behind (promising visits, of course). In January, her parents were gone leaving her to live with grandpa and grandma in their small flat above the store. Life passed by peacefully until her eleventh birthday arrived and with it, a letter inviting her to Hogwarts.

On her first day at Hogwarts, Emme learned that not everyone was as kind as her. Her grandfather had pulled her aside at Hogsmeade station before she ran to join the arriving students and said ‘be brave enough to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves’. Those pearls of wisdom stuck a chord deep within Emme, who had always considered herself kind but hadn’t had to put herself in any level of discomfort to be kind so far. She had lived a reasonably sheltered upbringing, after all. Cruel thoughts had not been present in either her home or the sweet store (after all, who can find it in their hearts to be cruel when surrounded by that much sugar). With that wisdom fresh in her mind, Emme made her way towards Hogwarts where the sorting hat confidently placed her in Ravenclaw.

From there, Emme excelled at school. She had always loved reading as a child, and she made a name for herself quickly as one who always placed near to the top of her class. She engaged in lots of extra-curriculars including Charms club and Dueling club, and spent most of her evenings buried in magical practice and theory. In fifth year Emme became a prefect.

During her careers meeting, Emme looked at the pamphlets before her and knew there was only one real option for her. She had half considered the aurors programme, but reading and writing had always been her passion. Emmeline applied for a job with the Daily Prophet as a junior journalist. Working hard at her N.E.W.Ts, Emme left Hogwarts with an Outstanding in all subjects and a well-earned place at the Daily Prophet.

Since starting work at the Daily Prophet eight years ago, Emmeline has carved a name for herself as a well-respected journalist. She always works for the truth no matter how uncomfortable or unsettling it might be, and is determined to bring the truth to the public. This has, on occasion, led to Howlers being sent through the post but Emme is not deterred.

Emme is a notorious coffee drinker and can almost always be found with a flask in hand. She also loves to bake, frequently bringing in home made snacks to share around the office - Merlin only knows that their office needs a sprinkling of happy on a semi-regular basis. She gets excited about any and all holidays, and her absolute favourite place to be is the beach - especially when she’s wandering up and down the sand wearing a cosy jumper and bright yellow wellington boots. Despite reporting on some of the atrocities that happen in the wizarding world, Emme still lives with a sense of optimism and an understanding that the world really is full of good people even if it might not seem like it.

Emmeline is committed towards seeking justice both professionally and personally for all. She believes that the way that muggle-borns were treated at school was unjust, and has continued to speak against this in her journalism. When it becomes clearer that Voldemort is truly persecuting muggle-borns, Emmeline will step up to work against him firmly. When Emmeline commits, she throws her whole self behind a cause and can never be called ‘half-hearted’.

𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓈𝓉𝒾𝒸𝓈

Basics:

FULL NAME : Emmeline Raye Vance MEANING : The name “Emmeline” means gentle and brave. MONIKERS / NICKNAMES : Emme GENDER AND PRONOUNS : Female, she/her DATE OF BIRTH : 13 April 1958 AGE : 26 ORIENTATION : Bisexual OCCUPATION : Daily Prophet Journalist

Background:

LANGUAGES SPOKEN : English, French FAMILY : Samuel Vance (father), Eliza Vance (mother), Ambrosius Flume (grandfather) SPOUSE / SIGNIFICANT OTHER : open & wanted for plotting! CHILDREN ( chronologically ) : n/a

Magical Detail:

BLOOD STATUS : Half-blood ALUMNA OF : Hogwarts, Ravenclaw, 1976 ACADEMIC FEATS ( clubs, organizations, positions, etc ) : duelling club, charms club, prefect O.W.L.s ( subjects taken and the results ) : astronomy, charms, defence against the dark arts, herbology, history of magic, potions, transfiguration, ancient runes, arithmancy. O in all subjects but arithmancy and history of magic which were E’s. N.E.W.T.s ( subjects taken and the results ) : charms, defence against the dark arts, herbology, history of magic, potions, transfiguration, ancient runes. O in all subjects. WAND : Maple, unicorn core, 10 ¾ inches, supple AMORTENTIA : Fresh coffee, baking bread, the smell of seaside air, new books. BOGGART : Werewolves PATRONUS : A swift - a creature with a strong sense of determination and a drive to accomplish things. They are hopeful, positive and energetic and are drawn to live and work in large communities where they find inspiration from the high spirits of others.

Physical:

HAIR : Mousy brown EYES : Brown HEIGHT : 5’3 BUILD : Athletic, slender. MARKINGS ( birthmarks, tattoos, scars, etcs ) : A scar on her left hip from a fall down the shop stairs when she was younger. A small tattoo of an opening speech mark on her left wrist, and a closing speech mark on her right wrist - inspired by her journalism and her love for writing. Not a permanent marking, but Emmeline has a sapphire necklace that was a 17th birthday gift from her mother. It is perhaps the most expensive thing that Emme owns, and she never takes it off.

Personality:

TROPES : Gentleman and a scholar - “He manages to be both a highly intelligent expert in his chosen field and a pleasant, well-adjusted and socially engaging human being, some times even more attuned to the nuances of social etiquette than many less-intellegent Gentleman and a Scholar - “He manages to be both a highly intelligent expert in his chosen field and a pleasant, well-adjusted, and socially engaging human being, sometimes being even more attuned to the nuances of social etiquette than many less-intelligent characters. Frequently, his emphasis is more on the humanities than on the natural sciences.” MBTI : ENFJ-T ENNEAGRAM : Type 2 - The Helper ALIGNMENT : Lawful Good TEMPERAMENT : Phlegmatic ZODIAC : Aries POSITIVE TRAITS : Determined, loyal, resillient NEGATIVE TRAITS : Clumsy, fiery

#principium.intro #principium.task #about #i wish i could use photoshop & create a good looking graphic but alas!!!#excited to get started <3

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idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf · 4 years ago

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People are so quick to blame literally everything that happened in Mapleshade’s Vengeance on Mapleshade and nobody else without even suggesting that any sort of blame could be pinned on literally any of the other characters or even that some of the bad things that happened were tragic accidents while also complaining about how none of the villains ever have any moral complexity or gray area and it’s baffling.

Like.

You even suggest that Darkstar, Oakstar, Frecklewish, Ravenwing, and Appledusk were all shitty and played a significant part in the events of the book, that the general society or even warrior code itself being flawed may have contributed to making Mapleshade a villain, or even suggest that the kits dying wasn’t Mapleshade’s fault and people jump at you. Because they cannot fathom that a villain isn’t always just pure evil for no reason with no question or blame on anyone else. Like. The same people who are annoyed at Tigerstar being such a villain stereotype down to literally being born evil.

That book is incredibly interesting because it shines a light on just how fucked up clan loyalism and biases can be as well as showing a cast of characters who all do awful things and all end up suffering in the end because of the society in which they live.

The warrior code and Starclan in of itself is incredibly flawed and this fact easily lent itself to creating this story. It’s easy to say that Mapleshade was horrible and wrong for lying about the father of her kits, however there’s no doubt in my mind on why she would have seen this as necessary. Clan rivalry was at a high at the moment, the book opening up with Mapleshade noting the blind rage and hostility her clanmates showed towards Riverclan cats after their recent battle, now, very clearly clan rivalry to the extent it’s displayed throughout the books is a flawed thing in of itself, think back to the Dawn Of The Clans books and how Clear Sky was regarded for bringing bloodshed into the forest. Think of that battle, of two siblings laying dead, having murdered one another over borders that aren’t really necessary. Think of warriors letting kits of other clans drown because they don’t see it as their own problem. Even now in present time, think about how a cat can lay dying in Thunderclan camp and be ignored completely because they aren’t one of them. Clan loyalism is incredibly dangerous. It leads to death and hatred. Constantly. Even in times of relative peace there’s so much resentment for other clans so evidently present. And during the time of Mapleshade’s Vengeance, tensions between Riverclan and Thunderclan were particularly high. To pretend that Mapleshade had no reason to be terrified for her own safety and that of her kits is ludicrous given the climate in which clan cats live. Lying was not the moral thing to do, and it’s not as if Mapleshade had nothing to do with her own downfall, but do not pretend for a second that the decision would have been easy or clear cut. Do not even pretend telling the truth from the start would have been the right choice to make. Clan loyalism is dangerous. It’s a terrible thing that’s lead to the deaths of countless cats over the years. Cats who didn’t deserve it. The warrior code and Starclan facilitating this is a terrifying, awful thing. Mapleshade lived in an incredibly flawed system that would have persecuted her for falling in love and hated her kits for who their father is, Mapleshade lying in an act of self preservation and protection over her kits was a direct result of the corrupt system she was raised into forcing her hand. What’s more, Starclan choosing to out the kits to Ravenwing and his subsequent decision to tell Oakstar- because the will of Starclan comes before the lives of warriors, every single time- was a further example of this. That small, innocent kittens be punished for a woman daring to love somebody outside her boarders is ludicrous. And Starclan’s wrath did not come from the lies Mapleshade told, but rather the Riverclan blood in her kits veins. This disdain her culture held for Mapleshade and her “half-breed” kits was exactly what forced her to lie in the first place.

I’m going to handle Frecklewish and Oakstar in a different paragraph to my discussion on how the warrior code, starclan, and clan society in general were to blame, because they did have more personal motivations as well and I would like to address that fact. In the end, they were both incredibly upset that Mapleshade lied (or, well, more like omitted the truth, but same principal) about the father of her kits. This was fair. I do not fully blame Mapleshade for this lie. As I said before, I do not dislike Mapleshade for choosing to lie. Certainly it can be said that her decision was morally wrong, however a mother of three choosing to prioritize her and her children’s safety and security over morals in a society that would see them exiled and left to fend for themselves....well, it’s just human, to be quite frank. She was in a desperate situation and people will never be their best selves when placed in a desperate situation, especially when their children are involved. It’s the same reason I don’t blame Leafpool for giving her kits to her sister, even if it meant lying to Bramblestar and the rest of the clan (honestly mapleshade’s lie may arguably even be more understandable than leafpool’s because she didn’t have nepotism on her side like leafpool, mapleshade lived in a time of war against her mate’s clan unlike leafpool, and, well, mapleshade was going to tell the truth eventually once she was sue her kits wouldn’t be thrown out to fend for themselves...unlike leafpool). Frecklewish and Oakstar’s anger was understandable, but that doesn’t make Mapleshade a bad person for the lie. And, well, to be honest, both Oakstar and Frecklewish cross the line into cruelty. And that line is crossed...where their personal anger against Mapleshade meets their clan biases. Oakstar was quick to throw out a young mother and her three small children with nowhere to go. And he did it because she fell in love with a tom across the boarder. A tom who’s clan Oakstar had a bias against. Yes, his personal rage against Mapleshade fueled this decision, but had the real father of these kits been Thunderclan, she never would have been exiled for her lie alone. And his decision to exile the kits as well. Three innocent children who hadn’t done anything wrong. Who he couldn’t be certain would survive with only Mapleshade to care for them. It was because once it was revealed they were half clan, they became other to him. They weren’t people like him. The clans have an us vs them mentality. Oakstar’s decision to throw out three helpless children was because they stopped being ‘us’ and started being ‘them’ as soon as they were revealed as half clan. Not because of his grudge against Mapleshade. The exile of the kits, even as Mapleshade begged for them to be allowed to stay because they were innocent even if she wasn’t, can easily be traced back to, once again, that dangerous sense of loyalism clans have. And then there’s Frecklewish. A lot of what was said about Oakstar can go for her too, except with the added layer of her standing at that riverside and letting the kits drown. Now, she could have stepped in to try and help them. It’s not like she was incapable. In no place during her confrontation with Mapleshade did she say “I can’t swim, idiot”. No. It was “I assumed the Riverclan cats would help them!” and other such statements to imply it wasn’t her business. There’s no doubt in my mind that if those kits really had been Birchface’s she would have jumped in to help them. There’s no doubt in my mind that if those kits had been any Thunderclan cat’s she would have jumped in to help them weather or not there were other cats nearby. Because the lives of Thunderclan kits are her business. And the lives of other kits...well...aren’t. Especially not half breeds. If they were alone, maybe she would have begrudgingly helped out of obligation to the warrior code, maybe she wouldn’t have. Weather or not she would have done the bare minimum doesn’t change the fact that she was less willing to help these kits than she would have been if they were Thunderclan.

Even the actions of cats like Appledusk and Darkstar are in some way related to the unhealthy clan loyalism and biases. Mapleshade was instantly cast out of Riverclan and not even allowed to take her kits to bury while Appledusk was allowed to stay and given another chance. To be honest, Darkstar was harder on her because she was Thunderclan. You can argue that the choice to cross the river was stupid and risky, but honestly, I completely disagree with blaming her for a natural disaster. She was thrown out. Homeless. She didn’t really have anywhere to go. Her only hope was to make it to Appledusk in Riverclan where she could hopefully be offered refuge. Crossing the river, to her, seemed like the only choice she had. Her only option for the salvation of herself and her kits. I don’t blame her for it. I don’t know how anyone can. She was frantic, she was homeless, she was under threat of attack if she stayed in the wild, she didn’t know how to provide for herself, how to provide for her kits. She needed to get to Riverclan, she was panicked in her attempts to do so. I cannot blame her for it. Had the kits survived or had Mapleshade already been a member of Riverclan, Darkstar would have been compassionate as well. Would have shown empathy. As she did for Appledusk. However Mapleshade was other. She was one of them, not one of us. Her blood, her scent, her posture, Darkstar loathed it in the way any loyalist Riverclan cat loathes a Thunderclan cat. Disdain, contempt, apathy at best, that was how a Riverclan cat regards a Thunderclan cat, and that was how Darkstar regarded this grieving terrified young mother, so easily dismissing her. Even Appledusk was deeply influenced by this attitude that’s always infected clan life. I have no doubt he once cared for Mapleshade. I have no doubt he killed off the part of himself that loved her for the sake of self preservation. That he latched onto his clanmates’ perceptions of Thunderclan cats as inhuman enemies. That he chose to love a she-cat within his own clan instead because love beyond boarders is forbidden in every sense of the word. Appledusk was horrible. He was a cheater, he showed no empathy for Mapleshade, he was just awful. However it’s clear to me that this, like everybody else’s actions within this book, was a result of the horrifically flawed values of the clans, the warrior code, and Starclan. That Appledusk was able to dehumanize Mapleshade in his mind because clan cats dehumanize those who they see as other. That he was able to justify his behavior to himself and other’s due to clan loyalism and bias. That he would have had a chance to be better had his love not been forbidden in the first place. Had his children not been a sin he felt the need to atone for in order to be deserving of salvation from his ancestors and his leader.

Almost every bad thing within this story was a direct result of clan culture and biases. Everyone did horrible things. Oakstar, Darkstar, Frecklewish, Appledusk, Ravenwing, and Mapleshade herself all did bad things during the first half of this book weather it be out of discrimination against the other or self preservation in a world that sees them as the other. Every other clan cat who watched this happen and Starclan itself who facilitated this were just as bad. Mapleshade’s breakdown and the subsequent deaths of Frecklewish, Ravenwing, and Appledusk can all be blamed on this. Mapleshade, even when she killed, did not act selfishly. She was not a true villain until after her death. Mapleshade suffered from a psychotic break in which she became convinced her kits could not enter Starclan until the cats who caused their deaths were dead. This breakdown was completely the fault of the cats mentioned above who allowed their loyalism and biases to cause the horrific deaths of Patchkit, Petalkit, and Larchkit. Obviously murder isn’t okay, however i’d be lying if I said that within the fictional story it wasn’t thematically satisfying that these cats die. It was also incredibly satisfying that Mapleshade go to the dark forest while the other cats involved went to starclan, not because Mapleshade deserved the dark forest more (usually murder would be much worse than what the others did, however since she was suffering a psychotic break at the time circumstances are different than they’d be if she hadn’t been vividly hallucinating that her children weren’t allowed into heaven). Starclan watched this messy, horrific event unfold. And they picked one person to blame for it. They did not reevaluate their rules and systems, they did not even choose to punish everybody else involved for what they’d done (let three innocent kits die and turn away a desperate terrified grieving young mother in need). Starclan chose one cat, the cat who they decided had committed the worst crime, and they said she is objectively to blame for all of this, punish her and we never speak of this again (which is ironically also what a lot of fans try to do, say mapleshade was to blame, nobody else is, punish her and lets move on). People want to blame everything on a single entity they can fight, not on a complex system of societal biases that can make two clans commit atrocities with Starclan’s full support. And the brilliant part of this is that this didn’t fucking work. Mapleshade came back. Again. And again. And again. Progressively getting worse and worse and worse, more vengeful and more dangerous as time went on. Because that’s what HAPPENS when you ignore the bigger picture and pin everything on one person without trying to give it a second thought. The problem isn’t solved. Things get worse and worse and worse. Mapleshade is a bad person now because she was victimized by society and starclan in life, then swept under the rug. She became more angry, less rational, completely focused on revenge. Not because she was always bad, but because pinning big complex issues on one person isn’t helpful. Because that’s always going to end in disaster. Nobody in the clans were innocent and in the end the corruption of the society in which they live ruined everybody and everything. There were no happy endings, not for anyone, and once it was all over it was all blamed on one person and swept under the rug to be a problem for future generations instead without anything actually being solved.

Don’t believe me? Which big characters were fully innocent in the main plotline of the book, then?

Patchkit, Petalkit, Larchkit, and Mylar. Three exiled half clan kits and a loner. The only fully good, kind, innocent cats weren’t part of the larger clan culture and system of beliefs.

Stop blaming everything on Mapleshade, i’m almost certain the exact reason this book is so good is that it’s not all her fault and that her future character arc of actually becoming a bad person and becoming dangerous to the clans is actually only farther proof of that. Clan society is fucked up, we’ve known that for a while but this book does such a good job of portraying it. The way the system makes it so that nobody’s hands are ever clean as long as they exist within the main system and how the cruelty or apathy of Starclan, The Warrior Code, and Clan Society will corrupt even those who could have been otherwise innocent.

Mapleshade’s story is impressive and probably the only villain I can think of that’s...actually super complex and is bad for reasons other than “am selfish want power am cartoon villain stereotype”.

#warrior cats #mapleshade #mapleshade's vengeance

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houseki-no-suffering · 5 years ago

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on ch 82 and what the hell is the deal with phos

super long wall of words ahead, you've been warned. also, im not qualified to discuss the emotional effects of trauma, so please correct me where im wrong and don’t hesitate to add on this post

contains an analysis of phos’ character arc, explanation on why and how they snapped and what might happen to our child next:

1. genki phos 2. post winter phos 3. laphos 4. on trauma 5. on snapping 6. speculations about the future

so, first things first, I could not help but notice the sheer number of parallels between this chapter and other significant points of the story. it seems to me that parallels are becoming more and more frequent as the moon arc goes on, and that’s not just because there are simply more chapters to draw parallels from as the story grows in size.

I believe that we’re at a turning point in the story, or even that the turning point has been reached, (aechmea telling barbata to fix phos for the umpteenth time is most likely going to give phos the last treasure, but ill get to it).

so, to try and understand what in the seven hells is going on with our baby at this point (the fandom collectively adopted phos since chapter 2, sign the papers if you haven’t already and donate to the fund to send phos to therapy) let’s retrace phos’ character journey.

1: genki phos

the phos who is too good for this world, too pure, the cinnamon roll who has no idea what the hell is gonna happen to them. oh joy.

hnk sets off as a coming of age story. phos is the youngest, they’re seemingly useless in a society that values usefulness above anything else so genki phos is initially driven by lack of purpose.

i’ve speculated already on the characteristics of the lustrous society, a society that emphasizes sameness over difference and that has no place for outcasts like phos and cinnabar. your value, in lustrous society, is dictated by how much and in which way you can contribute to the survival of the species, with elite fighters (the diamonds) being at the apex of the social pyramid and everyone else coming after.

additionally, while gems live in a highly interdependent and close-knitted society, such interdependence never takes into account emotions, loss, imagination, introspection and free-thinking. the society is extremely practical, apathetic, immobile, and everyone is expected to conform to that.

think about antarc: they’re the poster child of lustrous society: a 3 mohs hardness gem who managed to become an elite fighter out of sheer willpower, who’s blindly loyal to sensei, who sacrifices themselves for the greater good (the group’s interests > the individual’s interests), that does little if any introspection and that is happy about all of this and wants to leave it this way.

phos isn’t like this at all.

since the very beginning of the series we learn that phos is an anomaly. and that’s okay, other gems have been anomalies, like padparadscha, cinnabar, even antarcticite, but while those gems found a way to tip toe to the margins of lustrous society to remain unobtrusive exceptions, or forge themselves into proper, useful members of the group, phos cannot do that. which is ironic, because we know that one of phos’ core characteristics is that they’re able to change and to bring about change in a world that is as immobile and still and stiff as… well.. rock.

like @ruddy-rutile pointed out in a past analysis, phos’ problem wasn’t so much that they didn’t fit in, but that they didn’t fit in the appropriate way: they’re emotional, they’re loud, they’re unreliable, they’re not apathetic. they’re kind. compassionate. imaginative. and imagination is something the other gems lack.

this fuels a deep sense of self-hatred that even at this early stages of the story is lying just beneath the surface and oozes out quite easily, like when phos wants to help ventricosus and mumbles that it’s no problem if they die in the attempt, they’re a good for nothing after all, what difference would it make if they dont come back. at least they were able to help someone, contrary to how they were unable to help cinnabar.

this is the leitmotif of the series: phos is a kind, selfless gem who cultivates a deep sense of self-hatred. the internalized pressure and need to feel useful turns into a necessity for change. they need to save cinnabar, they need to save ventricosus, they need to become a fighter, they need to help sensei.

contrary to most of the other gems, phos loves and loves openly and unconditionally, they’re self-less by nature and that selflessness is a barrier that hides the real reason theyre so ready to put their life on the line for other people: the fact that phos thinks that their own life isnt wort a scrap.

as someone who believes to be worthless, guided by shame and guilt just for being alive and fueled by a deep desire to feel loved and accepted (just like a child), phos is unable to cope with grief and emotion if not by guilt tripping themselves even further.

the fact that the amethysts were almost taken is their fault, the fact that cinnabar is suicidal is their fault, the fact that antarc was taken is their fault, same with ghost’s abduction. the only way phos knows to cope with this guilt is by doing what every other gem does: bury these feelings deep inside their head and throw themselves into work. be useful, like alexandrite, rutile or red beryl.

2. post winter phos

what was a story about purpose, about phos’ coming of age, reaches an end at this very point, with antarc’s death. phos has become stronger at this point of the story, they have agathe legs and gold arms and they have grief to cope with, trauma.

just like alex’s job is studying the enemy and red’s job is making clothes, phos’ job is the one they originally desired for themselves: to fight. because there is nothing as valued as a good fighter in gem society and probably young phos unconsciously hoped to overcome self-hatred by taking on the most useful job there is.

post winter antarc is a skilled soldier, so skilled that bort wants to pair up with them. phos has reached their old goal: through loss and maturity, now they have a place within their society, they’re accepted and appreciated, valued but not loved. because these gems are so, so bad at emotions.

and this is where ms ichikawa begins to fool us all. she had us think that this story would be simple, but now hnk starts its steep and unrelenting detour toward existentialism and phos begins their dance toward madness and bottomless grief.

post winter phos is a soldier, they can fight off lunarians, but theyre still blaming themselves for antarc’s death.

we already said that phos is a very emotional gem and they possess a fervid imagination (probably just like lapis). so what do they do? they start thinking. “maybe i can retrieve antarc if we collect enough pieces. if i can communicate with the lunarians. if i can understand why we’re fighting.”

thinking quickly turns into questioning: why are we fighting? why are we so weak? why am i different? what changed me? is it the new additions, is it just life experiences? can we change? how can we change? antarc told me i shouldnt shy away from life, so im gonna push myself further and further.

that’s when shiro’s arc happens and sensei seems to know something about it, something he won’t tell the gems. phos’ questions suddenly turn to him.

phos is pretty much paranoid at this point of the narrative: they have experienced loss for the first time. consumed by guilt and grief for antarc’s recent abduction (even if phos still doesnt know what death means, we’ll get to that in a while), phos cannot think straight. they can’t be questioning the one authority every gem recognizes, the person phos and everyone else wants to protect, their leader, father, teacher.

phos feels like scum just for even thinking about it, as loyal and young as they are. and yet once you start questioning one minuscule thing about the way you have always lived your life, more and more will follow. it’s a cascade effect and it becomes faster the higher the number of questions, until you’re left with nothing but doubts and you must take into your hands the responsibility to find out for yourself.

this is more or less what happens to phos. they feel awful for doubting sensei the first time, in chapter 27, so they spill their guts to cinnabar, confessing their sins. but what cinnabar says does anything but put phos at ease: of course phos is doubting sensei: he’s shady, everyone knows.

however, while cinnabar is a quiet outcast, extremely prudent (and cowardly if you want) in the way they decide to face life, phos is the total opposite. they just needed a little nudge, they were already on the edge of a cliff of doubts and existential fears. cinnabar’s words are the second, big step that sets phos off on their path to the moon.

chapter 28 is when we see phos self-destructing because of this inner conflict for the first time, a pattern that will be repeated again and again the more phos loses sight of the truth, of a reliable something, a goal to cling onto and find direction.

it is ironic, because phos becomes a direction, a goal, the gems and the moon people’s hope (ch 59 and 72), but in doing so they have no hope left for themselves. let’s not forget that phos is very young by gems’ standards, not to mention in comparison to the moon people. how fair is to expect from a traumatized child to save the world and find answers to questions that run thousands of years deep and give phos nothing in return?

the pressure is enough to break phos and it does, quite literally, over and over and over again.

3. Laphos

lapis’ head comes at a time when phos was literally no longer able to manage this pressure.

it brings a waft of fresh air, it brings what emotional, kind phos needed to detach themselves from grief: coldness, rationality. and yet, it takes something away from phos as well: laphos is the phos that can no longer talk with cinnabar, the phos that brings cairn to reject the gems altogether and launch themselves into their kin’s killer’s arms. laphos is the gems and lunarians’ hope for a brief time, then it becomes the enemy.

i find it interesting how phos feels responsible for goshe and morga’s abduction too, even if phos was unconscious when it happened. phos has no clear boundaries between themselves and the rest of the world. they feel responsible for everything and guilty for everything. whatever they do will never be enough neither to make up for their past mistakes nor to find everyone a clear sense of purpose, safety, truth.

ichikawa plays with truth a lot. truth is that the lunarians are bad people and the gems must defend themselves, truth is that sensei is shady, truth is that the moon people are actually good, truth is that death is real, truth is that sensei is evil, truth is that cinnabar hates phos, truth is that the gems are evil, truth is that sensei is the only one that loves phos. who knows what the next truth will be, but can you call it truth, at this point?

if there is one point, i believe, that ichikawa is trying to make clear is that truth is subjective and that it changes, just like phos’ goal, the more knowledge you acquire and the more mistakes you make. truth is subjective but it must be sought after: you gotta keep fighting, you gotta move on even if you keep making mistakes, even if you cant undo your actions.

and another thing i think she’s trying to say is that you cannot make it alone. the moment phos tried to take it all on their shoulders, they moment they acquired lapis’ head, is the moment everything came crumbling down ten times faster than before.

and the most ironic part is that phos is still kind, even underneath that mantle of aloofness: they tried to do everything by themselves because they didn’t want to put anyone in danger, but in doing so they manipulated the gems just like aechmea. and aechmea knows and he’s been using phos for this.

4. Even more trauma

running after truth and after newer and more nuanced goals, phos has completely lost sight of themselves.

where do their alliances lie? what about their history? phos wakes up in ch 72 after the night raid and immediately breaks into pieces because they’re reminded of how cinnabar attacked them, the one gem they thought was their friend. one of the few truths phos had been clinging to.

phos wakes up after the night raid and asks the enemy “to the lunarians i look like a gem and to the gems i look like a lunarian. what am i?”

they break into pieces because they still believe they’re useless. they couldn't save cinnabar, they couldn't save antarc, they couldn't communicate with the earth gems, they couldn't even see adamant.

this is reminiscent of the very beginning of the manga: phos needs to feel useful, they need a goal, they need to be good at something. and just like they were ready to get lost at sea forever to help ventricosus they’re ready to die for someone else’s cause (not even phos’ own because they have no idea what to believe in at this point) just to be of use. after all, to phos, phos is nothing more than a scrap.

euc disagrees. ch 71 “we need you in our future” is a sentence that phos has probably ached to hear for centuries. “we need you. you are loved, you mean something, you are enough. you belong. we cannot build a future where you aren’t part of the equation. you matter”

and look at the way phos looks at euc. they can barely believe them and in fact they don’t. phos expresses some concern about dying (”after all, those less than 5 includes me”) but they still throw themselves into danger, they still take no care of themselves.

Phos’ self hatred and self-destructive tendencies run deeper than euc’s words could ever cut. those words meant well, but they were too little too late. phos thinks they don’t deserve this kind of hope, they cannot understand it, cannot fathom a world in which they are true and so they will go on believing that they are alone and worthless. next time they go on earth, they’ll go alone and unharmed

it is ironic. they did so much, they went to the moon and back multiple times, put their life on the line multiple times, made more progress toward unveiling the truth about the lunarians and finding a way for them to be free of samsara than anyone else did in hundreds (presumably) of thousands of years. they did it by themselves. in barely three hundred years. that’s impressive. and yet it’s not enough for phos. in their mind, they just keep failing.

so what’s the big deal? they can sacrifice themselves, it’s the least they can do and no one will miss them after all. unfortunately, this is true, at least to some extent.

im appalled by how little even the moon gems care about phos. they’re so self-centered it’s almost funny.

even alex, who has gone through loss and grief if not as much at least in a way similar to phos cannot find enough compassion in themselves to be concerned about phos’ wellbeing after a few months on the moon.

ive heard people mention how this could be a result of the moon people injecting who knows what into the gems or manipulating them someway or another, but i believe that there was no need to. phos is an anomaly after all, their kindness is an anomaly. the lustrous are little more than self-centered children: they are able of little if no introspection and they cannot process complex emotions like grief if not by shutting off those emotions altogether.

the moon gems are still vaguely concerned about phos. in ch 76, when phos departs for earth for the last time, they do tell them to be careful and come back if things get bad, but they do little more than that. it’s little comfort and too little emotional closeness and by no means close to the huge amount of support and (emotional) assistance that phos needs at this point.

phos tries to make do with what they have: a will to end this war and the superficial words of what should be their family, but it’s not even remotely enough. and yet phos, just like any other lustrous, is very bad at introspection: they don’t notice or if they notice they repress it. what’s one more thing down the subconscious after all? it’s fine. phos can take it, until they can no more and they snap without having any idea that they will snap.

phos’ journey, which has made them increasingly more emotional, fragile and human (the last one quite literally) has also made phos even more alone than they were at the beginning of the story. more alone, with the same sense of worthlessness, the same urgency to be good for something or self-destroy, and so much more grief, trauma, guilt and repressed emotions.

5. snapping

“I mustn’t think of anything” phos reminds themselves in ch 76. because thinking never brought anything good and because euc would see right through it.

once again, phos is repressing emotions. here they go, trying to be a cold blooded killer, ready to betray sensei again, the one person who has been good to them and that phos tried to hate with all their heart but just couldnt.

as ive written in a previous analysis, one of aechmea’s lowest blows was to tell the gems he was exploiting and manipulating to reach a salvation he doesnt deserve that if the gems want to acquire freedom they must do so by themselves. talk about coherence.

but that isnt all, he sinks even lower than this: he makes phos and the others question sensei’s affection for them. he says that sensei’s love is fake, it’s synthetic, the gems should totally make him pray or destroy him, no remorse, no strings attached. it’s such a dirty move.

no wonder it confuses phos even more. phos believes it, or tries to, they say they want to break sensei into pieces, but after the night raid they realize that it cant be that simple. sensei never attacked them. he has always been good to phos. and phos feels even more worthless, more of a traitor for daring believe in love, in sensei’s affection, when here they are, on the lunarians’ side, ready to betray him again.

how dare phos hope for anything? they dont deserve love, they dont deserve hope, they dont deserve happiness. they can try to give it to other people, they’ll kill themselves in order to do so, but they have no more hope and no love left for themselves, and they had so little to begin with.

as ive said, phos has little self-awareness and little introspection. i do believe that they had no idea they were going to snap until they did. even in ch 77, when sensei tells them he cannot pray, phos spends their last seconds of consciousness (before being attacked by all of the gems) to kindly ask him to pray. they dont care about themselves, but they dont reflect long enough to consider that reaching out to sensei like that could be interpreted as hostile by the paranoid earth gems. i think this is the first sign that phos is about to snap: they’re quite literally desperate.

tired beyond measure and forced to spend 220 more years in isolation, broken into pieces scattered all over the island, when phos comes to their senses again once kongo reassembles them they’re beyond despair. this war is taking the last toll on them and phos has no more energy to go on.

“please,” they say “pray. do it for no one else but me. grant me mercy,” from one bodhisattva to the other. they’re still somewhat normal, but when sensei fails to pray again phos can’t take it anymore. desperation and rage, fueled by hopelessness, worthlessness, grief and exhaustion make phos launch themselves against sensei, which, ironically, it’s exactly what the story needs.

apparently, phos is human enough to activate sensei but not human enough to make him pray. however, when the two of them join hands, sensei can actually pray. maybe it’s because both phos and sensei are intended to be bodhisattva? maybe because human voice commands are not as strong as contact? i have no idea.

phos has snapped by the way, and it’s weird how they go from “If only you weren’t here” to “sensei actually loves me” in a couple of chapters. in a certain way, we’re seeing phos going back to their roots: they love sensei and trust in sensei’s love, they’re once again openly emotional and impulsive, they’re once again ostracized by the gems (of course, much more violently this time).

i have written about how, after ‘fusing’ with sensei for a brief second, phos doesnt speak for the entirety of ch 81. they look and act like a literal monster, a scared animal, which is ironic since we know that they’re now human. i hypothesized that they might be reborn and that’s why they don’t speak, they’re a literal infant, but in light of ch 82, i think they’re simply hurt beyond measure.

they reversed to their old emotional persona, vomiting out all the emotions and pain and rage and hate they repressed during these 300 years. and yet they still don’t hurt anyone, not as much and as deliberately as they could at least.

they’re conscious enough to recognize the notebook and be reminded of their lost friends, realize how little the earth gems care for phos and for what they’re doing. and, i believe, when phos is rescued and comes back to the moon, they are, for the first time in the whole manga, enraged by the earth gems’ stupidity and sheer ungratefulness.

phos has been fighting for the wellbeing of everyone for centuries, putting their life on the line, never asking for anything in return and always believing that they were doing the right thing. and yet it’s not enough.

aechmea is a clever politician, and like every good politician he’s good at picking up changes and turning them in his favor.

he notices that there’s something wrong with phos and with the way they feel about the gems. maybe he doesnt yet realize that phos is angry at them for being ungrateful, but he senses something so he provokes phos: “you said to leave you on earth last time. did you change your mind?” that is “i’m not your enemy. see? im doing what you want me to do. not quite like those people down there on earth. oh, wait, were those your friends? aw, such a pity. to think they attacked you after everything you’ve done for them. but they’re your family, right? i’ll send you back to them if this is what you want. see? i’ll listen to your wishes. i am grateful.”

look how intently he looks at phos as phos incoherently and obsessively repeats the same thing over and over: “he would have prayed. he would have prayed for me. he loves me. he would have prayed.” if you want, this is also a syìubtle way for phos to apologize: they still feel responsible for their failure, but aechmea must understand: phos did everything they could, it would have worked, it was the gems’ fault.

adamant put phos back together, showing phos that he still cares. he is the only one that loves phos, while the gems (all gems, phos doesnt care much for differences at this point) keep hurting phos even if phos is only trying to help. so they must be killed. to hell with them all. and, notice, phos doesnt include themselves in the ‘gem’ category: they’re no longer a lustrous. they’re a monster, a liminal creature.

with nothing left to believe in if not sensei’s love and a promise to make him pray and then die in peace, phos wants to destroy the only thing that they believe stands between them and finally being useful, but also between them and freedom (freedom from suffering, from guilt, from existing, from their pain, from being): the gems.

this isn’t the first time that phos wants to kill something: in ch 68 they spoke about crushing sensei to pieces. it’s heartbreaking how phos went from “if only the moon people weren’t here” to “if only sensei weren’t here” to “if only the gems weren’t here.” will it turn into: “if only i weren’t here?” who are phos’ allies? who does phos feel kinship with? who is phos? they no longer know, and they’ve not known for a long time.

aechmea has noticed and he’s quick to turn the situation to his advantage. he shakes phos’ hand, he’ll grant them freedom just like phos will grant the lunarians’ freedom. he’ll forgive phos for failing, for their sins, for the bottomless despair and guilt that phos has been living with for centuries. salvation, hope, that is all phos needs.

as @rinboz pointed out, phos’ gold in ch 82 takes the shape of a lotus seed pod, a direct reference to when antarc was abducted and the gold had turned into a lotus flower.

through pain, phos had blossomed into a new character that day, marking the beginning of their long journey toward truth and toward discovering that there is no truth. the day the story changed from a coming of age manga to something much, much more intricate.

phos’ pod is empty, they have nothing left to lose, it’s a dead flower. this is the end of the journey that started with antarc’s abduction. when phos wakes up again, it will probably be with new memories and a new addition to their body, possibly red diamond.

phos’ self destruction has reached its apex because it finally became so intense to extend outwards, to other people that, in their immense grief, phos wants to bring down with them. this might be a minuscule form of progress: anger is better than repressing emotions at least, but phos’ problems are far from being solved.

6. on the future

what will be of phos then? it really depends.

the fact that they’re finally showing all that sufferance and those emotions they tried so hard to repress is good, but aechmea is still there to take advantage of it.

phos will never be free as long as they dont associate themselves with someone that truly loves them and as long as they cant find someone that can help them deal with their emotions. aechmea is just using them and only ichikawa knows what he meant when he told barbata to be careful with those 200 years emotions.

theoretically, phos was unconscious during the timelapse, but if there are emotions to treat carefully maybe they weren’t? maybe the change we’ve seen in phos this chapter depends on what they had to endure during that time. or maybe aechmea simply wants to make sure that his pet is easy to use.

i do believe we’re close to the end. i dont know if it will be the end of the series or just the end of phos as we know them. i could hope for something good to finally happen to them and for them to heal, but it would take a therapist or someone that loves phos.

maybe euclase could side up with sensei, they seemed the most concerned about phos’ status and the most prone to believe them. maybe goshe and cicada could do something again, maybe rutile will fix padpa once more and padpa will talk with the earth gems (not very likely, but im throwing theories left and right at this point), or maybe barbata will refuse to follow aechmea’s instructions, at least in part, and try to help phos.

as always, im afraid we’ll have to wait. in the meantime, please hug phos. if you read up to this point hug phos. hug them now and shower them with love, because no one else will

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk #phosphophyllite #meta #best

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tawakkull · 3 years ago

Text

ISLAM 101: Spirituality in Islam: Part 14

Raja (Hope or Expectation)

For a Sufi, hope means waiting for that which he or she wholeheartedly desires to come into existence, acceptance of good deeds, and forgiveness of sins. Hope or expectation, both based on the fact that the individual is solely responsible for his or her errors and sins and that all good is and originates from God’s Mercy, is seen in this way: To avoid being caught in vices and faults and ruined by self-conceit over good deeds and virtues, an initiate must advance toward God through the constant seeking of forgiveness, prayer, avoidance of evil, and pious acts. One’s life must be lived in constant awareness of God’s supervision, and one must knock tirelessly on His door with supplication and contrition. If an initiate successfully establishes such a balance between fear and hope, he or she will neither despair (of being a perfect, beloved servant of God) nor become proud of any personal virtues and thereby neglect his or her responsibilities.

True expectation, possessed by those who are sincerely loyal to the Almighty, means seeking God’s favor by avoiding sins. Such people undertake as many good deeds as possible, and then turn to God in expectation of His mercy. Others, however, have a false expectation. They spend their lives in sin, all the while expecting God’s favor and reward, even though they perform none of the obligatory duties. They seem to believe that God is obligated to admit everyone to Paradise. Not only is this a false expectation, it is a mark of disrespect for the All-Merciful, the All-Compassionate, for such an expectation reflects their (misplaced) hope that God would violate His very nature to protect them from the consequences of their sins.

For Sufis, hope or expectation are not the same as a wish. A wish is a desire that may or may not be fulfilled, whereas hope or expectation is an initiate’s active quest, through all lawful means, for the desired destination. So that God, in His Mercy, will help him or her, the initiate does everything possible, with an almost Prophetic insight and consciousness, to cause all the doors of Divine shelter to swing open. In other words, hope is the belief that like His Attributes of Knowledge, Will, and Power, God’s Mercy also encompasses all creation, and the expectation that he or she may be included in His special mercy: My Mercy embraces all things (7:156); and in a hadith qudsi, a Prophetic saying whose meaning was directly revealed by God, which reads: God’s Mercy exceeds His Wrath. Indifference to such Mercy, from which even devils hope to benefit in the Hereafter, and despairing of being enveloped by it, which amounts to denying it, is an unforgivable sin.

Hope means that an initiate seeks the ways to reach the Almighty in utmost reliance on His being the All-Munificent and the All-Loving.

Be kind to me, O my Sovereign, do not abandon favoring the needy and destitute! Does it befit the All-Kind and Munificent to stop favoring His slaves?

Those who are honored by such Divine kindness can be considered as having found a limitless treasure especially at a time when a person has lost whatever he or she has, is exposed to misfortune, or feels in his or her conscience the pain of being unable to do anything good or to be saved from evil. In short, when there are no means left that can be resorted to, and all of the ways out end in the Producer of all causes and means, hope illumines the way, like a heavenly mount that carries one to peaks that normally are impossible to reach.

Here I cannot help but recall the hope expressed in the last words of Imam Shafi'i in Gaza:

When my heart was hardened and my ways were blocked, I made my hope a ladder to Your forgiveness; My sins are too great in my sight, but When I weigh them against Your forgiveness, Your forgiveness is much greater than them. [1]

It is advisable for one to feel fear in order to abandon sin and turn to God. One should cherish hope when falling into the pit of despair and the signs of death appear. Fear removes any feeling of security against God’s punishment, and hope saves the believer from being overwhelmed by despair. For this reason, one may be fearful even when all obligatory duties have been performed perfectly; one may be hopeful although he or she has been less than successful in doing good deeds. This is what is stated in the following supplication of Yahya ibn Mu'adh:

O God! The hope I feel in my heart when I indulge in sin is usually greater than the hope I feel after performing the most perfect deeds. This is because I am “impaired” with flaws and imperfections, and never sinless and infallible. When I am stained with sin, I rely on no deeds or actions but Your forgiveness. How should I not rely on Your forgiveness, seeing that You are the Generous One? [2]

According to many, hope is synonymous with cherishing a good opinion of the Divine Being. This is related in the following hadith qudsi: I treat My servant in the way he thinks of Me treating him. [3] A man once dreamed that Abu Sahl was enjoying indescribable bounties and blessings, and asked him how he had attained such degree of reward. Abu Sahl answered: By means of my good opinion of my Lord. [4] That is why we can say that if hope is a means for God’s manifestation of His infinitely profound Mercy, a believer should never relinquish it. Even if one always performs good deeds and preserves his or her sincerity and altruism, since these are the accomplishments of a finite being with limited capacities, they have little importance when compared with God’s forgiveness.

Fear and hope are two of the greatest gifts of God that He may implant in a believer’s heart. If there is a gift greater than these, it is that one should preserve the balance between fear and hope and then use them as two wings of light to reach God.

[1] Dhahabi, Siyar’ Alam al-Nubula’, 1.150. [2] Qushayri, al-Risala, 133. [3] Bukhari, Tawhid, 15; Muslim, Tawba, 1; Tirmidhi, Dawa'at, 132. [4] Qushayri, al-Risala, 134.

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bi-lullaby · 4 years ago

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I'd love to hear your thoughts on a few of the very best AND worst traits of each of these characters: Meredith, Jo, Andrew DeLuca, pre-S16 Alex, Jackson, Amelia and Link. I can't wait to read your answers! Meredith in particular is such a phenomenally complex character imo that I tend to have trouble describing her.

Thanks for the ask! I feel I have answered one about it way back, but Tumblr's wonderful search does not allow me to find my own posts, plus I have a lot of thoughts, so here we go:

I’ll leave Mer for last, then ;)

Jo: Her resilience, her creativity, and her compassion are her best traits, definitely. They are what allow her to keep being a wonderful doctor even when the world is falling on her had, and allow her to distinguish herself in everything she does. For worse, she’s impulsive and has a temper, and is so guarded that she wounds up lacking communication, which is where a lot of the Jolex issues steemed from (made worse by the fact Alex is the same).

Andrew: Best: His kindness, his tenderness, his sense of justice. It’s why I wanted him in Peds (him interacting with kids melts me), why I think he’s perfect for Mer (he’s the softness to her edges), why I think he’ll be one of the best doctors that have been on the show. Worst: Impulsivity, need to prove himself, and, in a lot of regards, immaturity. He can act incredibly mature (like when dealing with Zola’s complicated feelings), but with situations like the Maggie thing or dealing with what he perceived to be Meredith “not respecting” him, his insecurities come out and make him act immaturely and petulantly, almost.

Alex: Creativity and out-of-the-box thinking, his protective nature, his adaptability, his desire to helo and comfort and support people. He’s a loving, caring friend, partner, and colleague, and he’s the kind of person you can always rely on, and who will look at a problem and come up with a solution that no one had thought of and which will work. You can count on him to have your back always. The worst ones: Impulsivity, lack of communication skills (can you tell that as much as I loved Jolex, it drove me up the wall sometimes?), recklessness, short fuse. What makes Alex interesting is that while he never outgrew his flaws completely (which makes him human and fleshed out and lovable), he learned to direct his chaos energy into good actions. It’s why the same guy who was violent and reckless and an asshole in the first few seasons became a man willing to risk his job to save a little kid from his religious-nuts parents, but who’s still the man that beat Deluca half to death at the smallest sign of threat to the woman he loved, consequences and being right be dammed.

Jackson: I think Jackson is fundamentally a kind person. His wealth makes him a bit clueless on how to extend that kindness to people, but he’s always willing to help, to be a friend or an advisor, and to share his good fortune with everyone around. His growth also makes me emotive. He’s... Wise? In a way that few other characters are. He counsels Deluca and Jo and Owen, even, and he handles fatherhood, and he does his very best to navigate April-Samuel-War-Divorce. Worst traits are his tendency to shut himself in when he needs to communicate (which I think he acquired after being, understandably, shut-out by April while she grieved, but my memory is fuzzy on that) and the way he tries to shape his relationships and partners to be what he thinks they should be (with April, it was he thought she needed to be less religious and share more because that’s what he did, with Maggie it was she needed to “see the truth” about religion and give him space, it’s confusing and upsetting for everyone involved).

Amelia: I think Amelia is sweet, and kind and brave, and also willling to go every length for her beliefs and her moral code. Worst are her hypocrisy her tendency to go all in, all out att he drop of a hat (by hypocrisy I mean she’s not necessarily the most stable, thoughtful person but when someone else isn’t thoughtful with her she is outraged, I could go in depth but I feel it’d be too long).

Link: Do we know enough about Link for this? Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but his personality is Golden Retriever. That scene where he is like “I dont ever want to share anything that bothers me with you, but you’re welcome to!!!! :)” I could see the writers patting themselves on the back for giving Amy a wall she could bounce all her chaos off of (not a criticism of Amy at all, but it was a sneaky one).

Meredith: Oh boy. I think Mer is loyal, and she is compassionate and empathetic to almost a fault. i think she’s brave and I think she is strong. I think she has an incredible amount of self-awareness. I feel very protective of that. I also think she’s self-centered (her pain blinds her to others and causes her to inflict pain as well), and incredibly rude. I think she overvalues her own relationships to people in detriment to the person’s other relationships. I think her loyalty and compassion can turn her nosy and “meddling”, as we see with Cristina and Alex a lot of the time. I think she’s emotionally guarded and ends up shutting people out until they’ve become close enough that she attaches to them like glue.

#prince-soulmate-friend #answered #greys #greys anatomy #thanks for the incredibly interesting ask

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whimsywit · 4 years ago

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Hey, it's me again! ^.^ I was wondering if I could order a red velvet truffle this time. As a reminder, here's the info from the previous request (with new info that I forgot to mention on the other one 😅):

I'm a 5'4" tall, straight Virgo girl with brown eyes, glasses (I only need them for distance since my eyes can't focus all too well). My hair color is currently blonde, but I'm dying it platinum blonde (dying it from dark auburn so the color rn is kinda a caramel color). I'm pretty chubby, but I guess not that chubby since I'm not obese but not exactly healthy either....

Let's see... I'm pretty shy at first when meeting knew people, and tend to talk so fast I trip over my words from time to time and get tongue tied (This gets worse around a guy I like and it frustrates me). The more someone gets to know me, the more talkative I become (which doesn't mean I wanna talk all the time, I'd be happy listening to him talk more than me, but I do tend to go into an excited rant like Midoriya if someone brings up something I really like [aka MHA 🤣]). I'm sweet, caring, loyal to a fault but I can be stubborn when I wanna be and insecure (boy with me must have extreme patience)...

I love listening to music, singing (I haven't sang in front of a huge crowd before), reading, writing (though my brain jumps back and forth between ideas, so I haven't exactly finished writing a fanfic yet 😅). I get flustered easily when complimented, so....

Dislikes include bullies (I was bullied myself, so I hate it when other people do it) cheaters (been cheated on in a relationship, no way do I wanna go through it again), alcoholics and drug addicts (I would explain why but I don't wanna get into something that might trigger someone, so I won't get into the details, just know that my biological Dad was one and I've seen what alchohol and drugs can do to someone... It's not pretty)

Talents: I know for sure that singing is one of them (which is one of my hobbies XD) and I'm told I'm a talented writer (writing is also one of my hobbies :3), but given the fact that I have a brain that keeps switching focus on ideas for different fandoms I haven't finished anything yet 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

Fears: The list could go on forever.... I have a slight stage fright (I shake a bit until I start singing, but I don't freeze up, never ask me to public speak thou...). I'm insecure as well, so my biggest fear is not being good enough (I can't remember if I already told you if I'm insecure and the boy paired with me is gonne have to be super duper patient 😅)

Aspirations: I really wanna be a singer one day (I'm actually doing voice lessons so I'm on my way there! ^.^) I'm good at writing lyrics but composing music? Not so much XD Oh, I do eventually wanna have a family, just later down the road with the right guy ^.^

I admire someone who is brave, compassionate, loyal to a fault (as loyal as I am ^.^ and I don't mind if he gets a bit protective of me XD)...

But, since I got dragged into too much drama during high school, I hate people who spread rumors for attention, players (people who date multiple people), and I usually stay away from people who are arrogant beyond belief (believing in urself is important, but it becomes a problem if you're over confident, know what I mean?) and people who are conceited (not to say that loving yourself isn't important, it is! I just don't like it when people are obsessed with themselves.... If that made any sense XD)

Anyways, thank you for even reading this and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day!

OKAY GIRL FIRST OF ALLLLL tysm for all the likes on my stuff, it means so much that you like and support my blog even tho this took forever for me to get to (i really appreciate you for waiting so long btw) 🥺💖💗 Now, for your patiently awaited matchup, I thought you’d be best with...

Izuku Midoriya!

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

OOH back to back protag boyfriends, lucky you ;0 It actually took me a while to land on him but I have no idea why, you guys are so similar it hurts in the best way possible oml—

First off, he’s ecstatic to find someone that doesn’t mind his muttering and rambling, even more so when he discovers you do it too! You’re both naturally shy and easily flustered (which makes for some very entertaining scenes when you’re both pining for each other and get all stuttery and flushed, people have full on brought out snacks and watched 👀👀) but it also means you understand one another well, able to comfort and assure the other with ease.

In more ways than one, if you really think about it. Both of you have a history of bullying, a tendency for low self-esteem, daddy issues, gosh your relationship is so mutualistic both of you always know what to say to lift the other up 🥺 On top of all that you also greatly admire each other—Izuku’s the bravest and sweetest guy you know by far, while he thinks you’re incredibly talented in turn. You constantly support each other with your goals, heroism and stardom respectively, fighting back whenever insecurities and doubts start to bleed through because you just care for the other so so deeply, and I’m def starting to sound like a broken record so lemme move onto the zodiac portion asjfakshswajdb

Izuku is a Cancer, a bit more of an emotional sign than Virgos tend to be, but that doesn’t make you guys any less close! The relationship is a very sincere, secure, and down-to-earth one, as along with everything else you have near-identical beliefs and domestic desires (which will make his mom very happy, she’s always wanted grandkids ûwû) so no matter what hiccups you may face, you guys always power through it ^w^

There’s not much else to say lmao, you guys are practically inseparable. All your nights are spent reading together and discussing your writings, yours being stories while his were hero notes, listening to music all the while, until it gets turned down in favor of your voice that sings him to sleep. He much prefers it anyway, and will for the rest of his life〜

#order up: red velvet truffle!#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha matchup #mha matchup #anime matchup #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #midoriya bnha #midoriya mha #izuku bnha #izuku mha #deku bnha #deku mha

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hauntedbasementqueen · 4 years ago

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TVD: Delena vs. Stelena

So yes, I am a Delena shipper. And yes, this topic is a little old. But so far I have not found anything online that defends Delena for the reasons I ship them, so I am going to write this anyways.

This is three pages long, so be prepared.

Spoiler warning ahead.

I am not going to be defending against accusations, nor am I going to be using factors such as chemistry or attractiveness, although in my opinion both are in favor of Delena. This is only talking about the characters and how Damon, Stefan, and Elena all benefited from Delena being endgame, as well as why I think it was the best choice for the show.

From a screenwriting perspective, Stelena was a good starting relationship for the show. It had intrigue, and some passion, and, most importantly, it was steady enough to give the watchers time to get to know the characters. Stefan was unambiguously the good guy, despite being a vampire, and in the first few seasons the show had not built up enough loyalty to the characters to risk putting the main character with someone as morally grey as Damon.

In terms of the characters themselves, Stelena was also a good starting point for Elena after her parents’ deaths. She was hopeless, and what she needed was a constant, kind presence in her life who had just enough danger and mystery to draw her interest. Stefan gave that to her. For the first few years after her parents death, Elena couldn’t deal with the demands of a relationship with Damon (who, incidentally, had a lot of growing up to do as well). She needed Stefan, who could carry a lot of their relationship himself, rather than her having to take care of or monitor him, giving Elena time to heal and navigate this new supernatural world. And their relationship was… charming. The love there was real (although in my opinion, it was more platonic than romantic-- more on that later), and there was certainly enough drama to keep us engaged. For the beginning of the show, Stelena was good.

Around season three, however, is where it started to sour (and no, I am not talking about the Ripper or any of the other plot devices, only characterization). In the first two seasons, most of the Stelena drama was about them developing their relationship. Elena was figuring out who Stefan was and discovering his secrets. After season three, however, the showriters started to run out of ideas. Stefan’s past had been revealed. There was more to reveal about Stefan, of course, but all of the major things that would impact his relationship with Elena had been used. The ripper storyline had been done. Pretty much any other drama would seem artificial and out of character. Why? Because Stefan and Elena were both such stubbornly loyal people that any sort of betrayal on either of their parts would only seem in character if it relied on miscommunication, which is a subpar plot point at best. In addition, Stefan and Elena had a steady, quiet sort of love rather than the explosive type that viewers tend to want. To put it simply, Stefan and Elena’s relationship was becoming boring. Changing it up was in the best interest for the show.

In terms of characterization, Stelena also needed to end around season three. Elena was mostly healed from her parents’ deaths. She was headstrong, always running into danger, and would do anything to save the people she loved. More than anything, she was self-sacrificing, to the point where that was perhaps her biggest flaw. Stefan was the exact same as her. And that’s why in the beginning, when the stakes were lower, their relationship worked-- they understood each other. But as the stakes got higher each season and every decision was life or death, Elena could not be with someone who was just as self-sacrificing as her, for her own physical health. Stefan loved Elena. And yet he was the kind of person who would be a martyr and give her up, if that’s what she wanted (and he does when she becomes a vampire, saving Matt instead of her). This seems good on paper- until you consider that Elena is so self-sacrificing that oftentimes she tries to turn herself in before she considers all other options. And Stefan is so selfless and so respecting that he doesn’t stop her.

Take the part about Elena becoming a vampire, for example. Yes, in the end it turned out fine and Matt and Elena were both saved. But Stefan didn’t know that Elena had vampire blood in her system. If she hadn’t, she would be dead. The choice was clearly between Elena and Matt- one of them was going to die. Elena wanted Stefan to choose Matt, so he did (after wasting several idiotic seconds arguing about it, but I digress). If it weren’t for luck, Elena would be dead, and honestly it would have been Stefan’s fault more than anything else. He knows Elena is incredibly, stubbornly self-sacrificing. He should have saved the life of the girl he loves first and then gone back to save her friend, no question. Instead he let Elena die because he was too much of a martyr. Yes, he did regret it later, but I believe that he would probably do it again in a similar situation-- their characters are just too selfless.

Enter Damon. If Damon is anything, it’s selfish. As the seasons go on, he becomes a better person, but when it comes to Elena, it is always, always, whatever is best for Elena first. And that is exactly what Elena needs. She’s grieved for her parents. She can stand on her own now. She doesn’t need someone to be kind, and to prop her up like Stefan did. What she needs is someone who can match her step for step and who can and will stop her when she goes on one of her self-sacrificing rampages (yes, I like Elena too, but you have to admit this is one of her flaws). Damon does that. He gives her the love, and the compassion, but he also gives her the strength of will and the selfishness that counterbalances her own selflessness. Not to mention as Elena grows on the show and becomes more confident, her character grows into more of an adventurous, witty character rather than the damsel in distress type she was in season one. The new Elena fits better with Damon’s adventurous and witty streak than with Stefan’s more steady, dry nature.

Damon and Elena is also, in my opinion, far more interesting to watch than Stelena, and I think most people would agree. They are more passionate, both in love and in anger, and I personally like their banter far better. They have far more opportunities for angst and plot points, being more different than each other and both of them having grown to be similarly volatile (Damon becoming less volatile, Elena becoming more so). Thus, Delena made the show more interesting without having to force outstandingly interesting plot points or side relationships.

Looking at the show as a whole, I see Stelena as a better platonic relationship, and Delena as a better romantic relationship. Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev have incredible chemistry, no doubt about that (and Pual and Nina have very little-- fight me on that), but in terms of the characters themselves it also makes more sense for Stelena to be platonic. Even when they were together, it reminded me more of a best friend relationship, especially in season two. They loved each other, and they were compassionate, but they were not passionate. There was no real spark between them, because they were too similar. Ideally, partners should have many of the same interests, but they should also complement each other. Best friends, meanwhile, are usually very similar. They don’t complement each other-- they are each other. The way that Damon complements Elena makes him a better romantic partner, while Stefan is an excellent friend to Elena due to their similarities.

Now that I have covered how Damon and Elena are better off together, I’m going to briefly go over the Caroline aspect of Stefan’s character arc.

From the show’s perspective, putting Stefan with Caroline made the show a million times better. They complement each other, just as Damon and Elena do. Both of them are kind and optimistic, but Caroline is single-minded and driven, while Stefan is more calm. Caroline gives Stefan’s life excitement, and Stefan gives Caroline’s life steadiness. Not to mention from a showrunning perspective, they have excellent banter. I was starting to grow bored with Stefan until he got with Caroline. Caroline’s over the top, wordy dialogue matches really well with Stefan’s more dry, monosyllabic tendencies.

So to conclude, while Stelena was good at the beginning of the show, in the end Delena was better for all of the characters. And Stefan is not the cheated victim, watching the love of his life with his brother. He found his own epic love. Those who support Stelena, in my opinion, are just pining for the past. Move on.

#thevampirediaries stelena delena steroline this is an old topic but I'm discussing it anyways tv analysis vampire diaries

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rcncgaades · 4 years ago

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↪ brief introduction to prudence eaton.

BASICS

full name: prudence camryn eaton. nickname(s): prue, percy ( vastly preferred ). age: twenty-eight. date of birth: 19 october 1992. zodiac sign: libra. place of birth: blackpool, lancashire, england, united kingdom. ethnicity: white. nationality: british. gender: cis female. sexual orientation: homosexual. romantic orientation: homoromantic. religion: she was raised in a protestant household but her family was never all that tied to actively practicing religion and it was never something percy considered all that important to her day-to-day life. as an adult she’s definitely more agnostic leaning than anything. education: bachelors of science in zoology ( university of derby ), masters in biodiversity, evolution & conservation ( university college london ), dphil in zoology ( university of oxford ). occupation: research zoologist & wildlife photographer. language(s) spoken: english ( primarily ), french, german, russian, polish ( learned to the point of being able to carry on conversations during research projects across continental europe ). accent: she has a thick and immediately apparent northern english accent. she hasn’t lived in the united states for a significant period of time and it doesn’t take anyone more than a word or two to realize percy isn’t american.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

face claim: amelia eve. hair color: blonde ( she dyes it brown on occasion but for the most part it’s blonde ). eye color: green. height: 5′3″. weight: 120 lbs. build: slim, athletic. tattoos: an intricate tattoo of a lion on her back ( here ), a half sleeve flower themed tattoo on her left arm ( here ), a small tattoo on the inside of her right bicep of the sun rising/falling over the ocean inspired by a drawing her baby brother gave her when they were children ( here ). piercings: she has traditional ear piercings in her firsts and seconds, she has a nose ring in her left nostril; she had an eyebrow piercing for a long while but took it out when she began guest lecturing and occasionally teaching in earnest– it’s healed up since then. distinguishing characteristics: her accent, how bright and warm she is, her tattoos & piercings, how smart she is ( or so she’s been told by many, many people after speaking to them for all of five minutes ).

PERSONALITY

label: the adventurer. positive traits: adventurous, articulate, brilliant, charismatic, charming, compassionate, considerate, dedicated, earnest, empathetic, forgiving, genuine, hardworking, intuitive, loyal, passionate, sociable, sweet, warm. negative traits: ambitious, competitive, proud, sarcastic, stubborn. assertive, boisterous, excitable, haughty, obsessive, possessive, silly, superstitious. goals/desires: to make a positive impact on her community, to live a better life as an adult than she did as a child, to spend the rest of her life doing things she loves, to fall happily in love. fears: failure, proving to everyone where she grew up that she’s just as useless as they’d always claimed, disappointing her little brother, never seeing either of her brothers again, becoming anything like the worst parts of her parents. hobbies: spending time with her family, smoking ( both weed and tobacco cigarettes ), cooking, baking, gardening when she has the time to do it and the weather’s right for it, hiking, reading, doing research of almost any kind, spending time with her friends, going out– drinking, dancing, anything that lets her be social, watching nature documentaries, listening to podcasts, playing video games, learning new things, knitting, sex. quirks: she talks with her hands extensively, she self-corrects out loud if she uses british slang for something rather than the american equivalent, she rarely raises her voice for any reason at all, she can rattle off her favorite animals and fun facts about them at any given moment with no preparation whatsoever, she almost always has some pop song or another stuck in her head and can be heard humming it until she remembers the words. likes: animals of all kinds, mystery novels, nature documentaries, david attenborough, expensive liquor, pot brownies, baked goods of almost every kind, horror movies, music, flowers, being around people, sex, flirting, star wars, most marvel movies, rpg based video games, podcasts, true crime documentaries, her little brother, being a chef, learning anything new, talking to people about things they’re passionate about, her adopted parents & family. dislikes: her older brother, her childhood, people who don’t respect her & the hard work that’s gone into getting her to where she is in life, dark chocolate, milk, toxic people, accidentally killing plants, being alone for long periods of time, boredom, people who pick fights just to pick fights, bigots.

FAMILY

father: simon james ‘sj’ garrick ( biological ). mark william eaton ( adopted ). mother: claire ophelia ashby ( biological ). rose katherine eaton née prescott ( adopted ). sibling(s): jack charles garrick ( older ) & thomas rupert eaton ( younger ). michael andrew eaton ( older, adopted ). pet(s): a bernese mountain dog named jason & an australian cattle dog named piper. financial status: upper middle class.

BIOGRAPHY

( TW: teenage pregnancy, infidelity, drug use, overdose )

By all accounts— by every metric Percy could use to quantify the fact as an adult— Simon Garrick and Claire Ashby had never been ready to be parents. Was anyone ever really ready to be a parent? It was a question Percy had asked herself constantly as she’d gotten older but it had never been her place to judge– her parents hadn’t done her any favors but for at least some time they had tried to be present and helpful and Percy could never fault them for that. Blackpool– a seaside resort town on the English coast– had been home to Simon and Claire as long as they both could remember but they had remained strangers to one another until they met through a mutual friend when they were seventeen years old. The attraction had been immediate– a spark neither of them were prepared to deal with but allowed to catch and ignite the moment they met, an encounter that resulted in an unplanned pregnancy and a great deal of responsibility neither of them wanted staring them both in the face. Simon dropped out of sixth form promptly to begin working in earnest and provide for the family he certainly hadn’t expected to have but was willing to work to support nonetheless; Claire, after informing her parents, remained in school at her parents’ request though their relationship became strained from that moment on.

When Jack was born the couple was delighted— Simon took to being a father rather quickly and seemed to enjoy it while Claire was an absent mother at best in spite of Simon’s many attempts to help her feel more present in their son’s life. It was no secret to anyone at all that Claire was cheating on Simon with what was rumored to be every eligible man in Blackpool and though Simon was heartbroken by the rumors and the confidence he felt in their truthfulness– he never brought the issue up with Claire– choosing instead to look after their son and try to hold their family together as best he could. It was yet another accident that marked Claire’s second pregnancy when Jack was five and though Simon wasn’t even reasonably confident that the child was his he again prepared himself to be a father as best he possibly could. Percy was born on a cool October morning and from the moment she uttered her first cry her father was devoted to her and for the first time her mother dove headfirst into caring for both of her children with a zeal she’d never demonstrated prior.

Though they were on the poorer side they were happy for a great deal of Percy’s initial childhood and seemed to be primed to be that much happier when Claire found out she was pregnant with her third child when Percy was seven. It was yet more of the same in the Garrick-Ashby household until Tommy was around two and Claire eloped with a family friend and informed Simon plainly that she couldn’t handle being stuck in a dead end town with a dead end life and three children she hadn’t wanted in the first place. Simon was devastated but for the first year or two following Claire’s departure he managed to hold both himself and the family together rather well. Percy– already a brilliant girl intellectually and a spot of sunshine in the world as far as her father was concerned– began to help around the house to take some of the worry away from her father even going so far as to look after her baby brother whenever she wasn’t at school. Jack, who was sixteen, more or less stopped coming home and though Percy was aware he was essentially living with a friend’s across town she considered his absence in her life nothing short of abandonment and even as an adult holds a deep resentment towards him for that fact.

Things for the Garrick family began to unravel slowly— Simon began to spend what money he earned from work on cocaine and other drugs– he was still present and still loving but Percy found herself more and more becoming a parent to Tommy rather than a sister. When she was twelve Simon’s habits escalated to a rather expensive heroin addiction that Percy could hardly process, let alone deal with and though she tried her best to raise her brother and herself it was difficult for a child to raise another child. She was nearly thirteen when she came home from school with Tommy in tow to find their father had overdosed in their kitchen— an overdose that would, even after her frantic call to emergency services, eventually lead to his death. Without extended family to look after them and with Jack’s refusal to take on the responsibility of raising siblings he hardly knew both Percy and Tommy became wards of court.

Percy– already with a reputation for being a brilliant student– threw herself into her studies with that much more zeal as she and Tommy adjusted to life with their first foster family; her IQ was tested and she was placed into progressively more advanced courses until she was taking university classes part-time by the time she entered year eleven. Her foster parents supported her fully and there was frequent talk of adoption for both herself and Tommy— who was easily the most important person in her life bar none. She was very nearly eighteen by the time the adoption paperwork was processed and both she and Tommy were officially members of the Eaton family. Though she was reluctant to leave Tommy behind when she’d been his primary caregiver for so many years prior to being placed with their adoptive family it was the encouragement of her adoptive parents Mark and Rose that finally reassured Percy to the point of feeling comfortable applying to universities about as far away from Blackpool as she could get without leaving the country. Higher education was a world of splendor for Percy who had always been so fiercely curious and sharply intelligent– she finished her undergraduate degree six months earlier than most of his graduating class before moving on to study further.

Animals and zoology had been passions of hers from the moment she visited a zoo for the first time on an outing with her parents when she was still very young. She was fascinated by animals of all sorts and wanted to know everything about how to care for them and preserve the environments they called home. It seemed the logical choice for her to follow her chosen course of study as far as she could-- and when she was twenty-six she walked away from Cambridge with a degree in zoology to her name and several research positions made available to her over the whole of continental Europe and beyond if she chose to take them. Traveling across Europe to do the thing she loved more than anything in the world was a gift Percy had never had any inkling of taking advantage of and she eventually began to give guest lectures at universities in major cities near her work sites as well as develop a passion for photography she found delightful to explore when she was researching in far away countries she’d never imagined even seeing as a child. When her research positions drew closer to their deadlines and the projects she’d been working on were finalized she began to search for another place to call home-- eventually settling on Turtle Bay due largely in part to the fact that Tommy had found his way to the area for college and Percy couldn’t think of anything more delightful than doing work she loved with her little brother at her side-- even if the work is a bit more sporadic than she’d like-- she’s always been able to look on the bright side of things and she doesn’t see that changing.

#「 percy — general 」 » prudence eaton.#intro.

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ianlightft · 4 years ago

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‘The clear path is never the right one’

Name: Iandore ‘Ian’ Lightfoot Age: 20 DoB: May 18th Major: Literary Arts Year: 2nd (started late due to some personal issues) Dorm: Clumber House

✦ — what are you keeping from the original canon

Ian’s family dynamic is much the same; supportive older brother, mostly having been raised by a single mother until his teens when she started dating again, lost his father to cancer before he was born. Grew up in the suburbs outside Detroit in a moderately comfortable home life with his dog Blazey but not a lot of friends between his brother’s antics and his own tendency to be shy as a kid.

Obviously his magic is gone but that’s replaced with an exceptionally sharp creative streak inherited from his dad, and a lot of pressure to be like him. His family always expected him to become a talented computer programmer like Wilden, a real tech ‘wizard’ but it wasn’t what Ian wanted and led to a lot of doubting himself.

✦ — personality

+compassionate, +curious, +intelligent

-scattered, -anxious, -withdrawn

Ian has lived much of his life in a careful sort of way, being born very soon after his father’s death from a long-term fight with cancer, his mom was very protective of her youngest child and it affected him. A bit on the neurotic side, he very much wants to connect with people but is awkward in the attempt.

Most of his life he’s depended on his family, especially his big brother, to encourage him and give him that sense of safety. Unfortunately, they’ve also always projected how much he reminds people of his dad in a well-meaning way. Ian has struggled with the idea of longing to have known his father but weary of being compared to the memory of someone he cannot connect to.

He can be bold, but more for the sake of others than himself, and he tries hard but falters more than he likes to admit. He’s earnest and charming in his clumsy way, loyal to a fault, but also rather stubborn and doesn’t always see the bigger picture at times. He’s also a bit dependent on others so far as being vulnerable to manipulation in his eagerness to fit in somewhere.

✦ — your characters schooling

Ian is majoring in Literary Arts, surprisingly, since everyone expected him to take to tech like his dad. But he writes, that’s what he wants to do; most of his classes reflect that, along with some standard classes. He enjoys learning, very focused and fixated on details; his organization skills are great.

Unfortunately he’s less adept in physical classes and basically avoids sports teams for that reason unless he’s on the sidelines. Even then he finds it dull, honestly.

He’s a bit too withdrawn to be overly involved in clubs, but he does hang around the theater club at times to watch them. He wants to be much more social than he seems to accomplish being and drifts from one idea to the next without having yet found any club where he’s wanted to stick around long.

✦ — three head canons

Relationships.

Ian’s only recently discovered his interest in other people, earlier efforts having been a disaster and resolved to the idea he was asexual. Turns out not so much. He figured he wasn’t straight but being gay took a while to come to terms with. And that’s awkward. He’s not even told his family yet, even though he’s pretty sure they’d be okay with it. But now he has something else to add to the list of things to figure out about himself, apparently. Which is just great, oh yeah, he’ll just work that whole self-affirming sexuality thing in between classes and studying, sure.

Dorm Life.

Let’s just say Ian is an interesting roommate to have. Because while he’s at times a typical college student in some ways; he’ll wear his favorite hoodie or flannel overshirt for a week straight and live on vegetarian pizza, he has just as many odd habits. Like a time limit to how long he can live in messy chaos before he has to clean the entire room and organize things; about a week or so before he gets twitchy. And expect post-it notes to be everywhere, he lives by them. He’s easy enough to get along with, but his roommates really aren’t thrilled that he binge-watches old sci-fi movies all hours of the night and has two alarm clocks just to drag out of bed in time for class.

Notebooks.

Ian is never without a notebook, or a few of them; he writes to-do lists and scrawls down memories with an avid determination. All he ever had from his dad was an old picture or two, so he’s determined to commit the things he wants to remember to paper to save them forever. It gives him a sense of control over a life he’s always felt lacked that, lists and notes to give him confidence, life penned so that it’s always there to look back on. He thinks like a writer and finds a sort of calm in the ability to capture his days with words.

#sherwood.intro #ian.intro #cancer tw #death tw

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warwaged-archive · 4 years ago

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@holyforged said:🍒 / 🍌 / 🍓 - for whichever muse you want! 💕

𝐅𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 ♡ 𝐒𝐘𝐌𝐁𝐎𝐋 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄 // accepting.

🍒 : how much does my muse value companionship? do they constantly keep people around them, or do they prefer to be alone often? do they have or desire to have many friends? do they see every meeting as an opportunity to make a new friend?

Generally speaking, Nathanos prefers to be alone. That’s true regardless of timeline, too. Even while living, he wasn’t really a man of many friends, and neither did he ever sought to be. To be quite honest, I don’t think his grumpiness is something that came to be with undeath, I just think in life he was, well, kind and good and determined to fight for what was right, and respectful to people he had to be respectful towards, and that may have made his less than friendly behavior stand out less, at least a little. He despises being surrounded by many people, and I sincerely doubt he was ever the sort to believe one could have many friends and those friends be true, so he always had much more of a ‘have a few close friends is better than having many friends’ sort of mentality. He absolutely never in his life (or unlife?) saw every meeting as an opportunity to make friends. Alive, he surely wouldn’t be rude for no reason, but he was never actively seeking/trying to make friends, I think. Dead he just wants everyone to stay away 90% of the time.

Nathanos would, however, prefer the company of people he’s close to than being alone, though. It’s just not easy to get to that point, I think, but he would for example prefer being with his family than being alone (when alive), or Sylvanas’ company. I feel this is important because while generally speaking he prefers to be alone, he values companionship, he sincerely does enjoy spending time with people he likes and loves to be with them (he’ll deny, but that’s still true too). This is all very very important to him, those are things he cares about, so although he’s fine on his own he appreciates and prefers to have people he loves around. So how much he cares about having people around or how positively he sees it really just depends on who those people are and how he feels about them.

🍌 : is my muse inclined to help others, or will they only do it when it benefits them, if at all? what makes them this way? has it ever gotten them into trouble, or inconvenienced them?

Kelantir will go out of her way to help others, even if puts her at risk, but it depends akndfkajsdfn She’ll do it to people she doesn’t know, and she’ll act on behalf of other people when she feels it’s the right thing to do/they were wronged somehow, but it still depends. Her impulse is often to help and protect, and towards those around her or on her same side she’ll act on it without a second thought. When it comes to other people, and here I’m talking about people she has no ties to (as in, not even of her race/faction but not enemies either) or people she’d see as enemies, I think she’s less prone to act on it on impulse, even though the impulse would still be there, and she might still end up acting anyways. Factors here include, but are not limited to, her position at the time in terms of hierarchy/authority, how it impacts people other than herself (specially if she’s in a leadership position), how serious the situation is and how much she can do to help.

She doesn’t care for how it’ll impact on her personally, and to a point her actions are guided by what’s best for 1. the sin’dorei 2. the horde. To a point, though, because she obviously does not condone mass murder ( hi garrosh) , but even on a smaller scale, she’s the sort of person who will go to war without a problem, but also who’ll refuse to kill civilians (or to let others kill them, because she really isn’t one to turn a blind eye to things either, so she won’t unless she absolutely has to). If it reflects badly on her or actually puts her in danger, neither is enough to stop her if she believes action is necessary; she doesn’t care for the consequences if she thinks they’re only hers and will not affect anyone else and what she’s doing is necessary and right.

I think how she acts in that regard is just a result of who she is. She’s very outspoken, and prone to just do what needs to be done, but she’s also deeply compassionate and very protective, so when someone needs help it’s just really hard for her to not do anything about it unless she has a reason not to, and even then it might still be hard. That said, if she thinks you don’t deserve help for some reason you can beg and she won’t move a finger. She is rather forgiving most of the time, though, so that’d be a rare occurrence and even then seemingly genuine regret might be enough to change her mind.

It probably got her in trouble a bit, since like I said she’d go out of her way to help others, and she might defy orders depending of who they’re coming from/what needs to be done/how strongly she feels about it, and that likely wouldn’t be without repercussion. But yeah specially when any inconvenience would be something she’d have to deal with alone, she really is prone to helping.

🍓 : how is my muse typically seen by others? does it ring true to who they really are? does their reputation matter to them?

Nalice is typically seen as yet another murderous black dragon, I guess, which is not really factually inaccurate aisudfhuiashd She convinced other dragons she wasn’t just that, and that if she was bad it was their fault, for a time, but even then not everyone was convinced, and she dropped the act the moment Deathwing decided to fuck things up, so I believe it is true to say she’d be typically seen as any other member of the Black Dragonflight, in spite of her time as ‘Ambassador’ in Wyrmrest.

And it isn’t really wrong. Like most of her flight, she was driven to madness by N’zoth, and she was often cruel and malicious, traits that have permeated her actions for so long at this point it doesn’t really matter it it was naturally who she was or fabricated due to insanity and the influence of an Old God. She will scheme and plot and revel in violence, so for the longest time she really wasn’t far from what most people would typically see her as being.

I think it would be wrong in the sense she’s not just that. She is angry and resentful, and that I think made her bitter well beyond any outside influence. She is a deceitful Black Dragon who enjoys violence too much. But I think in spite of her insensitive attitude, she is also capable of caring deeply, at least in her own way, and of nearly boundless loyalty; I say that because those, too, are things I think were corrupted --- the first in that she came to see it as a liability, that it was best to get rid of it entirely for it was best to ensure her own survival (although she never succeeded on it entirely, because in a way she loved Onyxia and the Black Dragonflight, and she loved Serinar in a much more traditional, sibling like way); the second because everything she did was ever dedicated to those she was loyal to, so that loyalty became working for and defending her flight fiercely.

She’d never be trusting or kind, even if she’s freed of corruption and gets some degree of healing (and I use healing here speaking very generally of any recover from everything she’s been through this whole time). She’d never be the forgiving kind, and she wouldn’t be friendly. She’d probably still be prone to deception, and to hurt others without remorse if she thinks it furthers her cause (whichever such a cause may be, seeing as she hasn’t really found another yet). But I think she’s definitely capable of growth, of caring and of becoming somewhat better, and I think that would be in conflict of people’s perception of her because the typical view assumes she’s just a monster.

Her reputation only really matters to her when it influences what she’s doing. It mattered when she decided to infiltrate Wyrmrest, for example, because it was directly tied with that goal. If it doesn’t interfere on anything like that and it’s more of a matter of how she cares to be seen, she doesn’t care. Her entire life she was seen as someone to be hunted down and killed because she was a monster, and that was true both in regards to how the younger races saw her and how dragons saw her, because when she was born, the other flights were hunting down the Blacks. It’s not new and she doesn’t care. If anything, she often embraces it; makes for a good self defense when she needs people out of her way.

#instead of defaulting to alleria I chose to make a list with the wow muses and pick random numbers #so here you have this fine selection or my primary muses I speak the least about I think #wow ones at least aksdjkasf #I may have ranted specially about nalice #sorry kasjdfnjkdf #* muse: nathanos marris / BLIGHTCALLER.#* muse: kelantir bloodblade / BLOODFORGED.#* muse: nalice / BLACKWYRM.#* character study: nathanos marris / A MONSTER CREATED.#* character study: kelantir bloodblade / BOTH HELL FIRE AND HOLY LIGHT.#* character study: nalice / A BURNING FIRE AND A VIOLENT TONGUE.#* general: answered / DARK WINGS DARK WORDS.#* general: headcanons / WHO TELLS YOUR STORY?#holyforged

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