#more reference photos for whoever wants them

[pianokantzart]

The Jungle Kingdom The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

[jpitha]

They’ll eat what?

A Telmurian is walking around the promenade on the station, talking to their family on their pad.

What was that? Your signal is pretty weak. Oh! Yes, they have humans here.

I know. Their planet has a really big moon, they won’t stop telling everyone they meet. Yes, they told me about it at least three times. I saw the photos, it’s pretty big I guess.

Yes, they’re strong. I remember the time that human from the helm picked up two Sefigans and carried them around on his arms. I didn’t tell her, but I was impressed. Why didn’t I tell her? I don’t know.

They also have odd thought processes. Remember that story about the one that learned that the water filters were the same as the outer compensator on the FlashWarp drive? They still teach us to check other parts for commonalities like that. The Sefigans are building a whole reference of parts that can be exchanged for other parts.

They walk around, oblivious to everyone else on the promenade. A Gren glares at them, and clacks their mouthparts irritatedly. They are speaking loudly. They walk on, oblivious to the disruption they are causing.

I didn’t call you to talk about any of that stuff.

I just learned about their ‘food.’

Did you know they don’t have a specific food? They don’t have one or two or even three items that they consider food, they have hundreds.

Maybe even thousands.

They stop and stare out a window and are silent for a few moments.

Not only that, but they combine them in so many different ways. Even wilder, they have modifiers to their food. Can you believe it? They have things that aren’t technically food that they add to food to make it ‘taste’ different. They’re called spices or seasonings.

I know! Have you ever heard of such a thing?

They have this thing called ‘taste.’ It’s a whole sense for them! It’s what enables them to try and test foods and discover ones they like and reject ones they don’t like.

I have a hard time with it, to be honest. Imagine, food you don’t like. It’s food right? By its very definition it’s something you consume to survive.

They clack their wing covers together, like a sigh. A Sefigan sitting at a cafe near them makes a gesture, like they’re trying to shoo them away.

Not for the humans I guess. They have whole careers, whole philosophies, maybe even whole religions about food and its preperation.

I read about the first time some humans came onboard a Coalition ship. They asked where the kitchen was and when we said “the what” it was like you unplugged them. They just stood there with their mouths full of their scary sharp teeth open in surprise.

I imagine we had a similar face the first time they showed us a kitchen. Imagine, a whole room, a whole part of the ship that was turned over to their pursuit of food.

That’s another thing! They can get bored of food. Whoever heard of such a thing. It’s food! You eat it, you feel full, you continue with your day. That’s like… like being bored of breathing.

Have I tried any of it? I mean, so much of it is straight up poisonous to us. No, you’re right, some of it isn’t.

All right fine. Yes. I tried one. There was this one, it was something they called a cookie. It was made of something like ten ingredients all in very precise measurements, then mixed together and shaped into balls and cooked at a high temperature. How did they ever come up with that?

The cookie? I don’t know, it was fine I guess. I didn’t get sick. I guess I can’t taste like they can it wasn’t much of anything, just food. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings so I said I liked it. They gave me four more! I didn’t know what to do with them. They’re still in my room.

Okay, yes, I love you too. Tell the rest of the crèche I said good evening.

They disconnect the call and look up. There’s a group of humans sitting down at a human style cafe eating. One of them looks up at them. Their large wet eyes seem impossibly deep. In the corner of them, wetness wells.

“You didn’t like the cookies?”

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

what kind of dads would kakucho, chifuyu and baji be?

I think they'd all be really good dads! As for why, I've got some hc's for each of them!

Chifuyu 

Cries a lot in the early stages. Cries when he finds out he's going to be a dad, when the baby is born, when they first walk etc. He's pretty emotional.

Tries to call the baby an odd name, luckily his partner quickly says no.

His phone is full of photos of his kid, Chifuyu loves them sm and wants to capture as many moments as possible.

Formally introduces the baby to Baji (he's more casual when introducing Kazutora which sparks a small amount of bickering) 

Gets his kid a pet because he thinks it's very important (waits till they're around the same age he was though).

Will show everyone his kid and photos of his kid, definitely wants to show his kid off a bit.

One time the baby makes a random noise and Chifuyu becomes convinced the baby said daddy. Everyone let's him live in his delusion. 

His kid hangs out at the pet shop a lot

Tells them lots of stories of his old toman days (especially the ones including Baji)

If Takemichi has a kid around that time then Chifuyu jokes that their kids will be 'partners' in the future.

Kakucho 

Cries a bit when his baby is first born, he's just so happy in that moment.

Always refers to Izana as 'uncle Izana' when speaking to his kid (Izana did not agree to this beforehand)

He's a bit nervous about being a dad and struggles sometimes since he doesn't have a parent figure he can remember or use for guidance.

Is so careful with his kid, very delicate touches and is kinda afraid to hold the baby at first.

Covers his kid's ears whenever he's hanging out with the S62 and they curse (izana normally hits whoever did it after)

Loves to make his kid laugh

Really enjoys cooking for his kid too and teaching them to cook, it's one of their favourite activities to do together.

Is a bit overprotective at times but it's pretty understandable considering what happened to him as a kid 

Will show his kid some fighting moves when they're older if they're interested.

Hugs his kid a lot, although a bit unsure when they were a baby, Kakucho is very affectionate with his kid.

Baji

He's a very responsible dad, more responsible then his friends assumed he'd be but Baji takes raising a child pretty seriously, same as with his vet work.

Speaking of vet work, he did get a few things mixed up in pregnancy stage and asked questions about things that a human baby wouldn't do (after how many weeks will the baby open their eyes etc).

Isn't afraid to tell his friends to shut up when the baby is sleeping 

He's pretty determined that his kid is gonna be strong too, like him. Will put his kid in martial arts classes (though if they show no interest in it he won't push them).

Is a very good mix of being strict and chill, actually a lot like how Ryoko was with him (his mother is his role model and he tries to parent in a similar way to her).

If Mikey has a kid around the same time then the two of them have a fun rivalry going, like who's kid will talk first etc.

Panics a bit when the baby first starts crying

Introduces his kid to all the neighbourhood cats and teaches his kid to feed them too. 

Straight up congratulates his kid after they get sent home from school after a fight.

He's a very caring father who can be a bit strict at times but always does the best for his family.

[moonferry]

*rubbing hands together like a gremlin* you guys want some stardew headcanons thst have been rotating in my mind like a gas station hotdog? no? well here they are anyway.

* leah has a sketchbook full of candids of people from town. if you choose to romance leah, she has a LOT of sketches of the farmer

* sebastian is trans masculine/nonbinary and uses he/they pronouns

* leah is actually robin's younger sister & moved to pelican town because robin had mentioned how peaceful it was

* sandy is trans feminine (she's also soo wife)

* abby would've absolutely loved among us

* maru secretly has a crush on penny

* jas makes shane play dress up. he acts annoyed but enjoys spending time with jas

* clint is an avid reddit user . do with that what you will.

* i think abby majored in political studies or graphic design

* harvey has a tooth gap and freckles

* elliott has DEFINITELY recreated the fork-hairbrush scene from the little mermaid

* harvey is allergic to cats but he powers through for the farmer

* abby DEFINITELY uses tumblr

* harvey has a little plane nightlight. not because he's scared of the dark but because he thinks it's cool. if you romance him, he puts it in the child(ren)'s bedroom.

* elliott wears hair curlers to bed.

* penny has a collection of drawings that jas and vince made for her. she puts them on her fridge.

* sam is an android user (and yes, it's purely because people kept calling him "samsung")

* wlw haley. that is all.

* haley takes pictures and sometimes lets leah borrow them/use them as a painting reference

* sebby with top scars. ooogh.

* maru has a cluster of freckles on her shoulder shaped like the little dipper.

* abby dyes her hair & once did all rainbow and cosplayed rainbow dash.

* the farmer and haley often call and have late night gossip sessions

* sam's phone wallpaper is a really zoomed in or a 0.5 photo of the farmer / whoever is his partner

* sebastian types in all lower case

* sam types in all caps.

* i think it would be really funny if seb just had sam in his phone as Samson (that grammar and everything) just because it's so unlike his usual typing and he does it to piss sam off

* it's no secret that sam is very forgetful, however i think this helped him become friends with penny. penny is very organized and has every important date (ie birthdays) memorized. --- she NEVER forgets a birthday. --- one day, penny heard sam repeating a phrase to himself so he wouldn't forget what he needed to do. penny encouraged him to write it down and even showed him how to write on a rubber band. sam adopted this and everytime he sees penny he'll smile widely and hold up his wrist (which will have anywhere from 6-10 rubber bands at the time. poor boy).

that's all for now. i may add more later idk. let me know if y'all want me to rack my brain for more of these

[hacked-by-jake]

I'm especially sad about the AI art statement.

No one ever said they can't use AI in general. Nobody said this. As long as they don't let the chats be written by AI they can use it for whatever they want.

Me personally, I'm a little fan of AI in general. ChatGPT took Googles place in many situations for me. It's super easy, super interesting and faster. I use it instead of reading millions of Google sites. (of course I don't trust everything right away, check your sources, lovelies)

But that's not what I want to say.

I saw no one complaining about the usage of AI in general. As long as its not creating the whole game and especially not what the characters say etc.

The critism was about the usage of AI ART, not AI in general, completely missing the point in my eyes.

And yes, they're right. AI became a huge part of our lives now. We find it everywhere and we won't get rid of it again. That won't happen. For me, it's okay as long as it's not used to generate money by letting it write texts and stuff.

And I'm completely fine with them using it. Of course, it's still stealing and I won't deny that, but as I said, we won't get rid of it again.

But the usage of AI generated Art is wrong and should actually be illegal. They, as a small developer studio, they should know and they do know, how it is when your work gets stolen and used by strangers.

And that's exactly what AI does. And that's not okay. It simply isn't. Every generated art is based on hundreds of real arts our there. The smallest artist who posts their work will be a victim of that. Because AI pulls it's knowledge and the ability for art out of every little art source there is. And that's wrong.

And I'm disappointed about their statement with this point.

And the second statement about AI art...

Yes, it's wonderful that you will introduce new actors to us. Great, amazing. And yes, we do remember how it was in Duskwood. And we do remember that actors were introduced after some time. Hannah joined in the last episode, and this was great.

But the huge difference is, you used stock photos. Real photography. Real designs. Created by photographers or whoever. The point here is: Real human. And real work.

I don’t think I'm the only one. But the first second I saw the profile picture of Ash, immediately I was like "Hm, that reminds me straight up of arcane"

Which is logical when you use AI generated art because the AI of course uses at first the most popular references.

Fact is: We don't support the usage of AI Art in Moonvale.

Question is: Why didn't you use stock photos just like you did before?

Everbytes answer: Yes, okay, we can change their profile pictures. (Point done)

And I mean, come on. Violet has a freaking cat as profile picture. Where was the problem with just using a real cat for that? Nothing easier than finding a good picture of cats! 😭

And if you didn't want to use stock photos. Have you seen how many incredibly talented digital artists your fandom has? Have you seen the insanely good work they created for your game?

How about contacting a few of them? How about asking them to draw the characters you wanted to have? I'm 100% sure you wouldn't even have to pay them for. Most of them would do it for free right away.

Plus: Real art created by real people

Plus two: No money spending.

Yeeey.

And if you don’t want that...., ✨STOCK PHOTOS✨

To be honest, they took a crumb of the criticism, twisted it a bit. Used the word AI, twisted a bit more, left their statement and at the end they gave us a small little victory by saying "They get new profile picture, see we're listening to you". They gave us a little "victory" so that we hopefully will be satisfied and not mention it again.

That's it for this topic. For now

[itsabouttimex2]

Primal Moon: Two

(I’ve created a new Character.AI bot to go along with this fic, by the way! ‘Primal Moon Mei’)

Twice a year; once in spring and once in autumn, a verdant moon rises to bring the bestial instincts of non-humans to light. Celestials and demons alike struggle to keep hold of themselves, something ancient welling up within them and shifting their thoughts and feelings to a more animalistic state.

“Be affectionate and kind,” says the voice of your elementary-school teacher, ringing in your head. “The Primal Moon might change your friends, but they’re still your friends. Don’t hit or yell, dears- you’ll only scare and upset whoever you’re dealing with.”

That lesson had been years ago, the first time you had heard this lunar phenomenon referred to by it’s true, scientific name- over the years, it had gained many different monikers.

Many people these days liked to call it ‘viridescence’. Years before it was better understood, it was called the ‘Green Surge’, only used in modern times by segregationists who viewed demons as inherent threats to humans. Religious folk see it as a time of internal cleansing, one’s sins leaving the body. To them, it’s the ‘Spring Tide’, a wave of unholiness exiting one through their connection with the rising moon. Lightheartedly across Internet forums it’s been dubbed ‘Prime Time’, photos of the green moon edited onto pictures of athletes and celebrities.

Your friend is a celebrity in her own right, actually. You had met her when she was live-streaming and struck up a quick friendship, the two of you near and dear to this day.

It’s the first time you’ve actually been around her during a state of viridescence, though- you had both lost track of the time as midnight crept closer, leaving you as perfect little treasure for Mei to take in hand.

She had snatched you right off your feet in her massive maw, hurrying your dangling form to a precious hoard. In it were countless possessions ranging in value, everything from worn childhood plushes to limited edition action figures to antique jewelry.

And you sat on it in the very middle, a sweet and soft crown jewel to be admired and adored.

Now, you look up to her. Her draconian eyes leer down at you, your image reflected in pools of endless yellow. Her head tilts in time with yours, scales twitching with each movement.

“…Mei? Are you alright, hun?”

Delighted by the affectionate nickname, a rumbling purr comes from deep within her throat. Mei adjusts her whole body, pulling you close with a coil of her emerald scales. Your best friend’s head dips forward and nudges yours, the tip of her large, pointed snout pressing against you before she hisses, her tongue flicking out. For just a moment, a strange black and red fire dances along the length of the organ.

Then, she starts to shift- from any other perspective, the event would be awe-inspiring. The graceful slither of her draconic body, each emerald scale glinting like starlight as it caught the sheen of the lanterns above.

There’s a low rumble in the back of her massive throat, a deep and thrumming call. Your best friend twists around until a certain portion of her glittering scales are in front of you- looks like she wants scritches.

“…even during a time like this, you manage to be a little cute.”

You aren’t exactly incredulous at that, though. Mei’s family is absolutely loaded, and they were rather strict and protective throughout her childhood- they had probably gotten her proper (and expensive) counseling to deal with all the problems that viridescence brings. So, although she was impacted as much as any other non-human, Mei was much better at controlling herself than most.

Slowly, you reach out to her scales, scratching at the defensive keratin with both of your hands. “Is that any good, Mei?”

Another rumbling purr comes from her throat, and Mei nudges you once more. Her long tongue flicks out, the wet organ rubbing against your face before slinking away back into her mouth. An incredibly hot sensation spreads where her tongue had been, a few degrees below burning.

It takes everything you have not to scream as the boiling saliva spreads on your cheek, but you manage to compose yourself enough to quickly wipe at the wetness with a sleeve, staggering away from her tongue. And then, in doing so, you lose your balance and slip, tumbling down Mei’s hoard. Near the bottom you land on her tail, feeling a feathery mass of green fur bind around you.

Mei lifts you slowly above herself, releasing you from her grip midair. You fall several feet into the massive coils of her body, feeling the dragon-girl knot herself around you like a python. Against your struggles you find yourself slowly consumed, twisted up like a pretzel in the folds of emerald scales.

There’s heavy pressure pushing on you from all angles, keeping your form locked securely in place. All of Mei is warm to the touch, blocking out the cold of the night. Still, aside from the cheek that had been smeared with fiery saliva, nothing outright hurts. She’s careful to not crush or strangle, though her grip is impenetrably tight. Constant purring rumbles her body, leaving you enfolded in what feels like the world’s coziest earthquake.

Warm and safe in the embrace of your best friend- there are worse ways to face the moon.

[meraki-yao]

Now I'm curious to know all the "candies" between Nick and Tay 👀 lol I don't ship them but I also find it interesting that some fans really ship real people together and gather evidence or proof of it. If its fine with you to share it pls do 🙏 but if not its also fine :)

Huh...

Actually, sure! I kinda wanted to share some of these at times but again I understand that rps is a complicated subject.

A couple of quick prefaces though:

1, If you’re uncomfortable with the subject, again, please don’t read under the post

2, I don’t have all the candies because I really just view them in passing, so I’m just gonna write/translate the ones I’ve seen, remember and find at least a logical speculation

3, I need to reiterate this in case my position in this gets misunderstood: Me writing about “candies” isn’t because these are MY opinion or things *I* found or *I* believe in them being evidence. I am just a translator and messenger.

4, (this one is gonna sound a little academic lol) Two things I realized when thinking about this “candy eating” culture is that Chinese people have a very difference understanding of platonic/romantic affection/relationships with the Western world, and that they look at the candies with rose-tinted glass. Chinese/Asian people are generally a lot less affectionate with their personal relationships, for example friends wouldn’t say “love you” to each other if they’re just friends, nor would they expand their friend group to the others easily or other stuff. And these people who look for candy go into their “investigation” already with the belief that “they are together”, everything remotely resembling a close relationship will automatically be interpreted as romantic. I thought about it a lot, and honestly among the “candies” I’ve seen, most of them are a matter of interpretation: yes those are things couples will do, but it wouldn’t be weird if friends did it too. So they’re not that seriously or up for further speculation. There is I think only one “candy” that I can’t quite say the same, which I will explain and elaborate on in this post. 

5, Please remember that the people who do this do it in good nature: something I didn’t make clear in my post yesterday, which is on me, is that the fans do want them to be together, but they’re not like… yandere level or something. If they’re just friends the fans won’t be upset or betrayed or anything, they just prefer to see them as romantic. They don’t mean any harm, and they don’t cause any harm because China is physically and digitally too far away for them to actually fuck shit up, and they understand the lines of parasocial relationships: those who met with Taylor during his China trip in December know to, and didn’t bring up this in front of him. They know where to draw the line, and whoever doesn’t and starts becoming a problem gets kicked out of the community. This is meant for fun.

6, Ok Future Meraki here, turns out, there’s a lot to translate, a lot more than I anticipated Jesus Christ and I do want to get this post how within today and make it a reasonable length, so I’m just gonna do two events and the one that I mentioned in 4. If yall want a part 2 let me know.

Ok with that being said, the main event under the cut:

In December they made a whole article about “candies” from December, and to quickly summarise (again noted that all of this is speculation, I didn’t and can’t fact check them, and I’m just a translator) (also this ended up way longer than I anticipated so for photo reference if you can please go to the link of the original article):

Academy Gala:

Nick and Taylor both attended the gala: Since the strike ended up to that point, the two times Nick attends a public event, Taylor’s there too (GQ men of the year and Academy Gala), and for both times he’s wearing Cartier’s Tank Must Watch (remember this watch, I’m gonna elaborate on it later because it is the only candy that even I can’t say it’s a matter of interpretation)

In various pictures of the night’s party that other people took, the boys can be seen together in the background

How the photography worked that night was magazine photographers wandered around the venue and randomly found people to take some relatively candid photos: so people who were walking/sitting/in any way sticking together would be photographed together. So best friends and married couples would be photographed together, which is what happened to Meryl Streep, Greta Gerwig, Saoirse Ronan, and Christopher Nolan, Cillian Murphy and their wives. With that logic, Taylor and Nick were caught by the photographer together TWICE, in clearly different places. Later Korean fans (with the same “candy-searching” mindset) read the time on Taylor’s watch in the photos: one was 8:30, one was 9:50. The implication is that they were together for at least that period of time (nearly 1.5 hours)

In both photos of the boys together, Nick’s elbow is…straight up leaning into Taylor's chest. In a photo with Kaia, Nick’s friend and co-star from Bottoms (Brittany), there’s visible space between Nick and Kaia but none between Nick and Taylor (… okay I’m gonna pop in with my own opinion on the latter one real quick: I really think that one is just Nick being a gentleman)  

During that night, Taylor re-posted an Instagram post from July onto Little Red Book: but the things is in the comment section of the original Instagram post, Taylor teasingly pretends to not know Nick; and according to the posting time and the time calculated in 3, Nick would have been watching him post that to Little Red Book.

Nick got a photo with Taylor’s friend Jay Ellis (Jay and Taylor follow each other on Instagram, and Taylor comments under Jay’s post), even though Nick and Jay don’t seem to have any direct connections. Kaia and Taylor started following each other on Instagram after the event.

While other people who got photos with Taylor posted them, in Taylor’s Instagram Post for the night: He only included his photo with Nick, the rest are all solo portraits of himself. Not only that: he edited the background of the photo so it’s just them, and proceeded to put the photo in the middle of the post.

a bunch of Taylor's good friends, including Taylor’s cousin went to like Nick’s post for the academy gala night. Taylor’s sister Ash shared Taylor’s post to her stories: 2 photos of Taylor himself, and the one photo of Taylor and Nick. Taylor mentioned in a past interview if he had any emotional or relationship (I don’t know which one is the right translation, the original wording is 感情) issues, he would talk to Ash. (please note that I didn’t not and don’t know how to fact-check any of the things mentioned above except for Ash’s Instagram)

Conclusion/ Speculation (okay the academy gala part alone took me 40 minutes what the fuck): I cannot reiterate this enough: THIS IS JUST SPECULATION DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY but under the assumption that Taylor and Nick are a thing, the serious of shenanigans that happened that night, especially with the family and friends stuff in 6,7,8, was interpreted as they announcing it to their personal social circle. AGAIN THIS IS SPECUALTION DON’T TAKE THIS SERIOSULY 

Taylor’s China Trip

On 7th December, Taylor had a photo shoot at the GQ gala venue, but spent the rest of the afternoon taking photos and signing things for fans. Among those, one was the photo of him and Nick from the academy gala just three days ago. He was visibly extra happy and showed off the photo to the crowd, unlike the other photos which he simply gets it, signs it, and then gives it back.

This day was also the start of “Taylor giving Nick/Henry a moustache”: throughout the trip, he drew on four photos of the two of them

(This one is a … really big stretch) among the four, one of them was the GQ magazine shoot, and he first drew the moustache on Nick’s face, giggling “I’ll sign on Nick’s face”, signed his own signature, then just when he was about to give the magazine back he suddenly changed his mind and said “wait wait I wanna do something on my face”, and then drew a crown on his head while muttering “crown prince”. And the thing is… historically, George Villers had a moustache. And then he drew a moustache on Nick and a crown on himself. Also, one of the most popular Chinese RWRB fic on AO3 is called “The King’s Palace”, and the premise is putting Henry in George place as the social climber and the Duke of Buckingham (it is literally George’s character with blonde hair and a different name), and Alex as the crown prince who ascended to the throne and is also utterly infatuated with Henry. So… yeah.

When he drew the fourth photo, which was the piano scene, the fan who asked said “Oh you’re so nice to Nick!” and according to their description (there’s no video), Taylor blushed a little and said “yeaahhhhh” with a big grin

While Taylor was in China people were stirring shit up on Twitter about him, and during the Twitter drama, Nick liked Taylor’s Academy Gala post.

The boys liked the same video on Instagram but from different accounts (a video about a pony in the snow)

During the trip, Taylor was seen wearing a white button-up with blue stripes. Nick has been seen wearing a shirt that looks identical before.

Cartier Watch (aka the one that makes me do a double take)

Taylor used to wear a lot of Cartier watches until he started wearing Tagheuer last July due to a commercial partnership

Nick likes wearing Omega watches. In fact, Henry’s watch in the movie is Nick’s own omega watch. He also has a commercial partnership with Omega.

But then starting last year, both of them were seen wearing matching Cartier’s Tank Must Watches (the silver on with a black surface and a sapphire crown): Taylor can be seen wearing it in the 5th photos of his September post, while Nick can be seen wearing it during the GQ gala, the Academy Gala, in Milan during fan interactions, and last weekend in his TIOY co-star’s Instagram story.

And the thing about this watch is (and here is where I need to reiterate that I’m just translating, I didn’t fact check this) 1, watch is a typical thing to give a lover, and you must be familiar with their wrist size 2, Cartier is a pretty romantic brand 3, the price of this watch is closer to what Taylor’s used to wearing but much cheaper than Omega 4, This specific watch is a popular watch to give a partner/lover, 5, David and Victoria Beckham’s relationship was discovered because paparazzi saw the Cartier watch he gave her and connected dots together

Jesus Christ at this point I should consider getting a part time job in translation

This was fun but this took me so much time, it’s ~2000 words long

Again, all of this was found and speculate for fun, and mean no ill will, and haven’t, and won’t harm the boys, please understand that and don’t take this took seriously. If you find this interesting and want a part two, let me know.

[alexschlitz]

I really like your art style. I was wondering if you had tips on how to draw consistent bodies and faces? Or any art tips to share? If not, no worries.

hi this is so sweet!! thank you for asking!! the best advice i can give is to practice unfortunately, which i know is everybody's least favorite thing to hear. life drawing is really useful for learning body proportions and how different parts move, and also for learning to draw bodies in perspective. there are tons of websites to do actual croquis-style quick life drawings from photos of different models. i do recommend doing them in person though, if possible! watching the actual model move into different poses gives me a great idea of motion and keeps my drawings from feeling stiff. i also highly recommend michel lauricella's morpho books for helping to learn anatomy for drawing. i will say 9 times out of 10 my drawings start as the most basic breakdown of the pose i want to use, like a literal stick figure with joints, and then i flesh out in layers of detail from there

faces are a little different but my personal method has always been studying tons of reference images until you have a method for mapping and placing features and a basic shape language for each-- eyes nose mouth etc. the more detailed your studies are at the beginning, the more you will be able to break any face down into proportions, and the more you will learn to simplify those features while still having your drawings look like whoever you want them to look like!

as for consistency, truly drawing the same thing repeatedly is the only way to achieve this. i'm an animator and a comic artist, which means all i do is draw things over and over again, so i have a lot of practice -- but it is a skill that is learned, not innate. the more you train your eye and hand the easier it becomes!!

i hope that helps or whatever, i'm no expert by any means but i'm always happy to share what advice i have! xoxo

[copperbadge]

Sam, I must know what sort of things Gerald blogs about on his Tumblr. How old or active is his account? Is his identity a secret?

It's actually a reference to an older post where @dignitywhatdignity pointed out there was no way Ger wasn't on Tumblr. :D Reproduced my response below -- first, Photogram:

I can picture Jerry’s Photogram in my head very clearly because I’ve had to research the children of rich people and their fucking obnoxious instas, and Jerry’s is probably equal parts expensive cars, club glam, and scenic vistas, but mainly because that’s like…what you do. It’s just kind of the done thing, like wearing a shirt when you leave the house. 

Update: Gerald's photogram has shifted radically -- he still treats it as a Thing You Do but especially now that he's a dad it's a lot more Parenting Lifestyle stuff. Because a few of my friends have had babies in the last two years and I had to research the babies my fictional characters were having, the algo now thinks I have baby fever, so I get a lot of Parent Influencer content, and I bet Gerald does a lot of sly fun-poking at that stuff. Like, posting a photo of a bottle warmer and a bib-washing tabletop machine with commentary like "You cannot buy any of this in the shop I don't have, but if you're going to buy one stupid thing as a parent, buy the bib washer. Not a single shirt you own will be unstained but the bibs will be immaculate."

They don't post pictures of Serafina, though -- there are a couple of official portraits for PR reasons but day-to-day that shit is locked to friends and family only. (There are special websites for this, I have friends who use them, it's pretty neat.) The only time random candids of her are out there are usually when someone snaps Michaelis toting her around Fons-Askaz with her cousins -- the "King Emeritus and Royal Ducklings" are becoming a very familiar sight. At least once a week Michaelis takes Noah and Joan out for an afternoon in town with Sera in a snugli and the twins in a stroller. Don't ask him about his stepson and grandkids unless you really want to hear about them.

Meanwhile he also definitely has a secret super-weird tumblr and nobody can figure out if he’s roleplaying or shitposting or what when he posts stuff like “The family groupchat is all well and good until it starts heavily impacting local politics.” Are those horses really his or is he just visiting a barn? Is that…a photo of a plate full of appetizers at “My cousin’s latest house party” with Angela Merkel in the background? He certainly has some strong feelings about Princess Diana and equally strong feelings about Tsar Nicholas. Why is he one of only three people the official Eddie Rambler tumblr follows?

Gerald's tumblr has also slowed down since the diagnosis and becoming a dad, but the content is still random as hell and more authentically wild than his photogram. Again, no photos of Serafina, but it's very evident that whoever is running that particular tumblr has had a kid, or is pretending they have. He gets asks accusing him of faking shit for clout and every time he does, his response is simply to write the ask on a sheet of paper in longhand and photograph it in front of a famous European landmark and/or political figure.

Alanna tolerates this because it does keep him out of mischief and sometimes he takes Serafina with him to whatever landmark he's visiting, and she gets to have a quiet apartment to herself for a while.

(”Eddie Rambler’s on tumblr?” someone asks, and someone else replies “Name me one other TV chef brave AND stupid enough to be on tumblr” and then you realize it is in fact the official Eddie Rambler tumblr saying that.)

Eddie doesn't post to his official Tumblr anymore because he rarely has time and doesn't need to do the self-promotion, but Katie in Communications checks his inbox once a week and brings him the most entertaining asks to respond to. He's currently hovering somewhere around the level of Neil Gaiman in terms of "Famous people who are inexplicably on Tumblr."

Ultimately there develops a running joke that Jerry’s tumblr is run by either a) an upper-class vampire (rude) or b) the elected king of a micronation on the Mediterranean coast with a name nobody can spell (super rude!) 

One time Gerald accidentally pocket-posted a blurry selfie to his Tumblr but it was so poorly focused and clearly accidental that a bunch of people got mad at him for violating the privacy of the Duke of Shivadlakia. He had to pretend to have a week-long beef with himself to save face. He eventually got Noah to take a selfie with him, blanked out Noah's face, and then claimed the Duke had forgiven him and here was a selfie with him as proof.

It's a hard old life, being Duke of Shivadlakia, but someone's got to do it.

[d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n]

Send Noods

Shuri Udaku x Reader

Summary: Shuri's hungry. You're confused what she's hungry for.

Word Count: 1K

Warnings: fluff, a lil bit of smutty smut smut (still 18+ pls), tbh this is just funny to me. NOT CANON COMPLIANT

Author's Note: i cant lie this maybe the stupidest thing i've ever written but its funny and cute and shuri deserves that.

I'm going to be working late tonight. Send noods? Read.

You weren't really sure how to react to Shuri's request. On the one hand, you two had a pretty active and healthy sex life - nudes weren't really the least conservative thing you two had engaged in.

On the other hand, it seemed particularly odd that she would ask for them if she intended to spend the rest of the evening in the labs.

You were slightly pissed off that she had cancelled on yet another date night in favour of working on whatever it was that she was developing - but you understood the importance of her job to Wakanda, so you let it slide.

The prospect of taking nudes excited you - you'd never done it before. You looked yourself once over in the mirror, taking in every inch of your reflection. Not for the first time since moving in with Shuri, you felt... sexy. Wanted. Your confidence wasn't lacking - you knew you were beautiful without Shuri's validation - but there was something about Shuri's spontaneity that made your confidence spike.

You showered, making sure to pamper yourself the same way you knew Shuri would if she were here with you. You shaved, did your skincare, painted your nails in Shuri's favourite colour.

You walked into the massive closet that Shuri had engineered for you, looking for the beautiful lingerie that Shuri had recently brought back from California. She'd been out there for a convention with Peter (Parker) and she'd sent you a picture of the lingerie with a 'thinking of you' message attached. Safe to say that you were so touch-starved that the idea of her thinking of you in that way had got you wet.

You put the lingerie on, marveling at how you felt more naked than if you had been nude, and posed in front of the mirror. You felt powerful in this. You put your favourite heels on, knowing how Shuri loved to unbuckle them for you, and lay on the bed.

You set your phone up on a tripod and took a series of pictures that were risque enough that you'd leave her wanting, but conservative enough that Shuri would want to come to bed. You want to entice her away from her work - the true love of her life.

You googled 'boudoir' and took reference from the poses you found. The photos you took were far from crude - no, they were tasteful, almost works of art.

You smiled when you were done. Shuri asked for nudes? Well, nudes she would get.

You sent her the photos and then threw your phone face down on the bed. Now to wait.

Shuri's phone pinged. She made a mental reminder to check it in a moment, just after she had finished her work on this new suit. She had modified the Black Panther suit, infusing it with the same nanotechnology that Peter had been working on at MIT. She was excited to test out her improvements.

Her phone pinged again. Whoever it was really wanted to get a hold of her. She sighed when her text tone rang out again, standing up to grab her phone.

From: Sithandwa <;3 Image 📸

What the hell did you want now? Maybe you were asking what noodles she wanted? She opened her phone and promptly turned the screen to the table. What had she just seen?

She looked around to make sure there was no one else in the lab - of course, no one else was in the lab because she had a strict 'you must leave the lab at 8pm' which she enforced for everyone except herself. She looked at her phone again to find 5 pictures of you spread over your shared bed, posing in ways that made her mouth water and pussy clench.

Shuri told Griot to look up the lab and she sprinted down the halls - god, you looked delicious and she wanted to devour you.

She opened your bedroom door to see you sitting on the edge of the bed, anxiously biting your nails.

You were so nervous. What if you'd completely misread the signals - no response from Shuri was normally never a good sign.

The door swung open and Shuri stood in the doorway, eyes raking over you, a smile playing on her lips. She stalked over to you, hand cupping your face. She pulled you in for a passionate kiss - her tongue slipping inside your mouth. You relaxed into her hold, kissing her back and pulling her towards you.

She climbed onto the bed, straddling you as she rocked into you. You felt something hard under the confines of her trousers and you smiled. You were in for a fun night.

"What did I do to deserve these beautiful pictures of you, sithandwa?" She asked, pulling away to rest her forehead against yours. You looked up in confusion.

"What? You asked for them, remember?"

Shuri looked confused, "Uh- no I didn't?"

"Yes, you did. See," you pulled your phone from the bedside table, "You said, 'send nudes'." Shuri burst out laughing.

You curled away from her, embarrassed, but she pulled you back into her arms, laughter still bubbling up. She cupped your cheeks and looked into your eyes, "I meant noodles, sithandwa, not nudes." You smiled involuntarily, laughter bubbling up from you too, "Not that I'm not appreciative of your gorgeous photos, but you've ruined my plan for this evening."

"I think I already have an idea of what your plan was for this evening."

"And do you like it?"

You nodded gently, a wave of shyness washing over you.

Shuri lifted your chin up with her finger, "Words, princess."

"Yes, please."

She pushed you down so your back was on the bed, "Good girl."

She kissed you again, fingers trailing up and down your sides. She peeled the straps of the lingerie down, revealing each inch of your skin, pressing light kisses to the expanse of your shoulders.

She kissed down your navel, taking her time to make you squirm. If there was any art that Shuri had perfected, it was the art of fucking you just right.

You stopped her as she reached the softness of your belly. She looked up at you, puzzled, but burst into laughter as soon as she heard what you had to say.

"After this can we get noodles?"

fin.

[bcdrawsandwrites]

[ID: A Team Fortress 2 fanfic banner in the style of the game's achievement icons. On the right, Spy's hand is shown holding a lit lighter, while on the left, Pyro's hand reaches for it. Everything is in slightly warm grayscale, except for the lighter's flame, which is orange. On the bottom left is the chapter's title in yellow-white, reading "CHAPTER SEVEN: PILOT LIGHT" /end ID]

Flickering

Fandom: Team Fortress 2 Rating: K+ Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship Characters: Spy, Pyro, Engineer, Medic, Heavy Warnings: General references to trauma, panic attacks, self-harm Fic Description: After the events of the comics, the mercs try to go back to how things were, but it’s never that easy.

Spy can see his teammates going through their own struggles… but something seems to be very, very wrong with Pyro in particular.

And since no one else seems to be doing anything about this, Spy makes it his mission to get to the bottom of what is troubling Pyro. For no particular reason. Beta Readers: @mechmolar, @gonturan0, @junuve NOTE: One of the books mentioned in this chapter is real book! Sandvich goes to whoever guesses what book it is.

---~~~---

Chapter 7: Pilot Light Summary: In which Pyro goes on a shopping trip with Spy.

---~~~---

Spy lost sight of Pyro soon after they left the lab. That was fine by him—if it didn't want his help right now, then he was going to take a break from this nonsense.

Thus he found himself in his smoking room, settling into his armchair and lighting a cigarette. He took a few moments just to let himself rest, focusing on blowing smoke rings up at the ceiling. This is what he should have been doing all along—what he would have been doing today had it not been for this stupid self-appointed mission.

Well, this, and reading more of his current book, which he was unable to do given the Pyro had tossed it into the fire. The memory made him shudder, but of course, he knew now what the Pyro had been trying to do. It had been trying to show him the colors—or lack thereof—that it saw.

What a strange mind this creature had.

Ah, but there he was again, with his mind on his mission when he should be resting. Sighing, Spy grabbed a nearby magazine and began flipping through it. He's already perused the articles that had interested him, so he settled for reading through the ones he'd overlooked. He read for several minutes, near dozing as he flipped to the next page, only to jump at the sight of fabric, dark red against bright red, and his heart pounded as the scent of blood filled his nostrils. His arms felt as though a heavy weight had been placed within them.

He shook his head—no, it was merely a photo of a woman's dress, its colors hideous and tacky. With a snort he tossed the magazine aside.

This was stupid. It was a day off, and he was going to the bookstore to acquire another copy of his book. But just as he rose from his chair—

Knock, knock.

Groaning, Spy approached the door and opened it. "What is it, I—oh."

The Pyro stared at him.

"If it's nothing urgent, it will have to wait," Spy said, squeezing past Pyro and shutting the door behind himself. "I'm heading into town for a quick errand."

At that, Pyro perked up, and held up its hands in the universal gesture for "wait." It then hurried off, and Spy raised an eyebrow as he heard it clomping up the stairs. A moment later it returned with a pink handbag over its shoulder.

"You wish to join me?" Spy guessed, and the Pyro nodded. He wanted to protest—it didn't even know where he was going, and could it even read to begin with?—but stopped himself. This creature lived in the base, so perhaps getting away from this place for a while would do it some good. "Very well. So long as you do not set fire to anything."

The Pyro gave him a hard stare, but made no protest.

"Come with me, then."

Spy led the Pyro out to where his car was parked, and unlocked the door so it could enter. Once it was in the passenger seat, Spy pulled away from the base, taking the long desert road out into town.

Of course, they wouldn't be stopping at Teufort. While it was the nearest town, it lacked a bookstore (and the intelligence required to be able to run one). Instead he drove them through it toward the next town over—a longer drive, but a necessary one.

Pyro merely stared out the window, making no attempts at communication. Not a surprise, Spy supposed. They had yet to figure the cause of its muteness outside of general shellshock, and while a change of scenery might help, he doubted it would magically cure it.

Before them stretched the vast desert, its warm red earth zipping past the bright red sports car. Spy hummed in thought before proceeding to break the silence: "All of this is gray for you as well?" He sensed Pyro give a start, and out of the corner of his eye saw it nod. "I suppose it's not much to look at to begin with."

He turned to steal a quick glance at it—it had gone back to staring out the window again, though its head was slightly lowered. "Perhaps we will find something at the bookstore that will inspire some color for you." Pyro finally turned away from the window to look at him, and Spy realized he hadn't told it where they were going. "I'm replacing the book you destroyed," he said, a growl edging into his voice.

When he glanced at the creature again, it showed no signs of remorse, or signs of any response at all, save its continued gaze on him.

Spy frowned, keeping his gaze on the road. Normally trips like this were a good time for him to think, but the silence from his passenger was not a comforting one, and certainly not one conducive to meditation. It would be better even to listen to what had once been Pyro's meaningless babble.

He opened his mouth, only to close it when he spotted the sign for the town. He would discuss things later—or attempt to, anyway.

Once they had pulled into the parking lot and stopped, Pyro eagerly leaped out of the car, looking up at the bookstore. Spy hoped it wasn't imagining the place going up in flames, and decided to stick close to it just in case. Once he was done finding what he came for, perhaps he could let it look at picture books for a while or something.

Stepping inside, Spy was unsurprised to see and hear the customers and staff immediately staring at Pyro and murmuring to each other; the populations outside of Teufort were less used to the eccentricities of the RED team. But, to his surprise, they did not seem to be afraid of the Pyro's appearance, but rather, were remarking that it was strikingly similar to some "famous CEO." Interesting.

Still, Spy had not come here to gather intel, and waved Pyro over to the new books section, where he sought the replacement for the book Pyro had destroyed. It took only a few moments to locate, but as he grabbed it, another book caught his eye. It was a new release by another author he enjoyed, and he found himself flipping through it. He may as well grab a few more books while he was out.

As he was looking over a third book, he abruptly realized that Pyro was no longer standing beside him. With a few choice French and Spanish curses, he whipped around in search of the missing mercenary. First he looked toward the children's section, but did not immediately spot it there. He began to sweat as the thought of the creature causing property damage here crossed his mind.

A search through the children's section came up empty, and he nearly swore again before spotting a familiar black and red figure by the fantasy shelves. Sighing, he hurried up to it to find it had picked out a book and was looking it over.

"Find something you like?" he muttered, and the Pyro lifted its head and nodded at him. "I hope you don't expect me to pay for this." Frankly, it should be paying for his books.

Pyro stared at him for a long moment before giving a quiet huff and turning back to its book.

Well, that was more of a response than he'd expected. Making note of where the Pyro was, Spy went back to look through more books himself. He occasionally looked up to make sure it wasn't causing trouble, but at most it created a mild inconvenience for other customers, who carefully squeezed around it.

Once he had gathered a small armful of books, Spy approached Pyro again. "We're leaving," he announced, and the Pyro stepped away from the bookshelf, still carrying the book it had selected. Spy barely kept himself from grimacing at the sight—he hoped he wouldn't have to fight with the creature when it realized it had to pay for the book.

The cashier quirked an eyebrow at Spy's mask, but otherwise said nothing as she rang up his books and he wrote out a check to cover the payment. Behind him, the Pyro seemed to be rifling through its handbag.

Once Spy had completed his purchase, he stepped back to watch the Pyro. His eyebrows raised when he saw that not only had it retrieved money from its bag—it had already counted out exact change. The cashier smiled upon checking it herself, and handed Pyro a receipt and a bookmark with its new book. Pyro accepted these and turned back toward Spy expectantly.

Spy realized he'd been staring, and gave a shrug before heading back out to the car. As the two settled themselves inside, he couldn't help but glance curiously at the cover of the book Pyro had purchased. Once he spotted a plump unicorn running across a stylized forest at sunset, he couldn't help but remember the plush unicorns he'd spotted in Pyro's bedroom, and rolled his eyes. Of course that would be the book it would be drawn to.

They continued their drive back to the base in silence, at least for the time being. Rather than looking out the window, Pyro was absorbed in reading its new book. While Spy knew better than to take his eyes fully off the road, he did cast a few glances at the pages and was surprised to find no illustrations. "I must admit," he found himself saying, "I did not know you were literate."

The Pyro slowly looked up at him. Though he could read no expression on its mask, he got the distinct impression that it was glaring at him.

He shrugged. "Not all of our team is. It's a fair assumption."

Recalling something he'd wanted to bring up earlier, he gave a thoughtful hum. "Why do you keep silent?"

Pyro froze, its head facing forward, staring blankly at the road ahead.

This could potentially end badly, but Spy pressed on. "The Medic did say there's nothing physically wrong with you, as far as he could tell. So what is it that keeps you from making noise?"

Pyro shook its head.

"You do not wish to tell me? Or you do not recall?"

It nodded.

Heaving a sigh, Spy continued to stare out at the desert road, considering his words. "Whether you wish to tell me or not, it would not be possible for you to do so under the present circumstances, regardless, so I can force nothing out of you."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Pyro tip its head slightly.

"Something is holding you back," he went on, keeping his tone calm. "You may not recall exactly what happened in the depths of Gray Mann's base, but perhaps you can identify the feeling or thought that prevents you from speaking."

The Pyro lowered its head—avoidant or pensive, Spy wasn't sure.

"Is it a memory of pain that keeps you silent? Fear, perhaps?"

Pyro crossed its arms. Spy wondered if it was offense, a confirmation, or both.

"If it is fear," he continued, "consider that no one here would harm you."

At that, Pyro did look at him, and grabbed its right arm.

It took Spy a moment to connect the dots. "That—that was not the same thing!" he sputtered. "I thought you were trying to attack me!"

Pyro stared for a moment, tipped its head, and looked away.

Sighing, Spy shook his head. "It was... a misjudgment on my part. But you—!" He bit his tongue, then gritted his teeth. "I'm..." The word lodged in his throat, and he fought to regurgitate it like a poorly-cooked dinner. "...sorry."

The Pyro looked back at him, and gave a slow nod.

Spy went quiet, letting the moment settle (and his pride attempt to recover), and considering his next words. "With... that out of the way... I assume you trust me, no?" Goodness knew why, when so few people did, but he wasn't going to question it right now.

But when Pyro neither shook nor nodded its head, Spy snorted out a laugh.

"Well, I do not blame you there. It is, after all, in my nature—and job description—to be dishonest, as it is in your nature and job description to burn people alive." He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "I suppose there is little reason for you to trust what I say. Though you did seek my help." For a second he looked it in the lenses before turning back to the road. "And if you still seek that help, then you must trust me when I say that I, nor any of the others, will seek to harm you if you speak."

He waited to see the movement of its head out of the corner of his eye—whether nodding, shaking, or turning away entirely. When nothing happened, he glanced over curiously to find the Pyro facing forward, staring blankly at the desert road ahead.

Frowning, Spy faced the road again. Perhaps this was too heavy of a question to ask at this—

"Hm."

Spy nodded, initially only recognizing it as a sound of confirmation, when realization hit him like the strike of a bat to the back of his head.

At the same time, Pyro's breathing became shallow and hurried, its hands rising toward its throat.

Swearing under his breath, Spy fought to recall what Heavy had done earlier that day—the calming words he had spoken, the actions he had taken. He cursed again when he remembered how Heavy had actually taken both of Pyro's hands in his own—an action Spy could not perform in their current situation. His mind raced, flitting back and forth over different concepts while his passenger's panic grew. He couldn't threaten to crush any invisible enemies like Heavy had. Pyro liked fire, but that wasn't a reasonable thing to have in his car at the moment, and it could only see it in shades of gray anyway, so would that really do anything? Merde, he needed a smoke—

His eyes widened, and with one hand still on the wheel, he reached into his coat pocket. Quickly he found what he was looking for, and flicked the lighter open and on, holding it out to Pyro.

The Pyro, who had begun clawing at its throat again, gave a strangled gasp at the offering. It stared at it, still fighting for breath.

"Take it," Spy said, waving the lighter impatiently.

With a shaky hand, Pyro reached out and took the lighter, holding it gingerly between its gloved fingers. Its other hand was still on its throat.

Grimacing, Spy glanced over at the Pyro and knocked the book out of its lap and onto the floor—should it drop that lighter on anything other than its suit, it would set the car ablaze. The action startled Pyro enough for it to move its free hand away, and Spy took the hand in his own, drawing it down and further away from its throat.

He did not give any promises of protection, or threats toward any enemies; he would not have trusted such words from a spy himself. Instead he stayed quiet, keeping a hold on Pyro's hand as it continued to stare at the lighter held in its other. All the while, he kept his other hand on the wheel and his eyes on the road, willing this moment to end.

It did, eventually, after an awkward silence on the remainder of the empty stretch and an unnerving drive through Teufort (which was holding a 5k, in the heat of the day, on a road it had oh-so-helpfully not blocked off). As they pulled back up to the RED base, Spy noticed that Pyro's breathing had returned to normal, and it was still staring at the lighter.

Sighing, Spy slipped his hand away from Pyro's grip and removed his key from the ignition. "You see, then?" he said, and the Pyro looked at him. "You're home now, safe and unharmed." When it continued to stare, he went on, "In spite of breaking your sudden vow of silence, no harm has come to you."

It continued to stare for a moment before looking down at the lighter in its hand again. It drew in a breath, heaved a long sigh, and snapped the lighter shut.

"I hope this trip was helpful for you, friend," Spy said, unbuckling himself and reaching back to grab his books. He stepped out of the car, and the Pyro did the same, grabbing its own purchase from the floor of the car. It said nothing this time, but nodded, and Spy hoped he wasn't imagining the slightly more relaxed air around it.

The two made their way back into the base before parting ways, Pyro heading back up to its own room and Spy heading for his smoking room to put his books away. One book was set upon the arm of his chair while the others were placed on the bookshelf.

A more productive day than he'd anticipated, he mused as he settled into his armchair and retrieved a cigarette. Perhaps now they would make some progress with this—

He reached into his inner pocket again, and fumed.

The Pyro still had his stupid lighter.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 3 thoughts

it’s been a bit since i last watched an episode (count: 5 whole days!) and i need my hit of scully and mulder time. so imagine my surprise when i went to watch today’s episode, and saw it is not about scully and mulder, but the lone gunmen? 

hmm. hmm hmm. well, how do i feel about this?

let’s just say that when i was doing my preliminary research to see if i wanted to watch this show, i came across a plot point that is going to be addressed in a few episodes, and i want to reach them NOW to see how they play out. and that is all i will say on the matter. 

even if i really really really REALLY want to say more. i will not. 

(author's note: imagine me sadly pressing my palm against a rainy window... no scully and mulder time today 😔)

okay. so lone gunmen origin story… let’s see where this brings us!!

it’s 1989 (the intro riff to style begins playing from an unknown source)

the swat people are here in maryland because there are a lot of gunshots. so they’re going into this mysterious building, rifles drawn, and everything is very very dark. 

there’s blood on the floor but nobody around!!! and then they hear a guy groaning under a cardboard box???

whoever it is keeps moaning “they’re here, they’re here” <- WHO IS HERE?

woahhhh another guy finds the lone gunmen!!! they say they didn’t do it!!

while they’re being arrested, the guy under the box keeps yelling that they’re here. which does not clear up anything. 

was that naked box man mulder…? no, it can’t be….

the intro was shorter again this time. i WILL make note of it no matter how many times it happens.

sad byers is in a jail cell with the homies :( the girls are fighting!!!! it seems they did NOT get along at first

IT WAS MULDER IN THAT CARDBOARD BOX?????? “he’s currently being held in five point restraints”, says the cop talking to byers <- what does THAT MEAN (types furiously into a search engine) ohhh okay. okay. got it now.

byers wants to know where a lady is, and he says that she IS real, because mulder saw her, but…. this answers none of my, nor the cop's, questions

“so what i’m looking at here is a warehouse break-in with nothing stolen, a shootout but no guns, lots of blood but no bodies, and an FBI agent who likes to take off all his clothes and talk about space aliens” <- yeah, that sounds about right 

BYERS WAS BORN THE DAY KENNEDY DIED???? okay that is crazy for reincarnation theorists 🔥 

LMAO is that why his name is “john fitzgerald” … my brain put together the date quicker than the name itself 

yes, he confirms this immediately after i type it up. fun byers trivia for ya, i guess.

so he works for the federal communications commission, for now at least. he was at a computer con booth giving out buttons when all of this began!! aww, he looks so happy to be gathering your information

NO some random people were mean to him and he looks so sad now :( (him being referred to as narc is a repeated occurrence throughout the episode)

he sees a mysterious woman at the booth?? who starts to say something, but then leaves. and he follows her while his coworker is going to town on some computer games. aww man, i wanna show this guy tears of the kingdom. he’d be so happy.

mysterious woman runs into frohike, who is giving her a speech on a machine he made that gives you 33 channels of premium TV??

(i was going to say "i do not think that sounds legal" but i didn't want to sound like a Youngling. but yeah. not legal)

and langly is in the booth next door to him heckling him 💀

they’re fighting over who sells better bootleg cable LMAOOOOO!! who will win?!

this spat allows mystery woman to escape, but byers runs into her!!! she drops a photo of a child and he says “she’s very cute” as he hands it back to her. byers, why are you kind of a puppy dog here? look at him. aww.

he is stuttering and says she looks like she could use some help, but not in a way that sounds condescending at all; he seems like he genuinely means it, even if he doesn’t know wtf is going on.

oh my god, well looks like he is good at sniffing out the truth. he sits down with mysterious lady, who begins to tell him about how her child, who just turned three, was kidnapped by her boyfriend recently. the ex boyfriend is very dark and mysterious but dipped when there was a kid involved… but then came back and took her??! who is this man????

and the investigators are not finding anything!!! EXCEPT that the guy is in baltimore somewhere. but now the guy knows she’s looking for him!!!!!

she hands byers a card that says "arpanet/whtcorps" which he knows the meaning of; apparently it’s a special government project, and you can access it through the internet. glad it means something to him because it sure doesn't to me.

ohhhh, byers says he’ll try and go online and figure it out… i feel like he’s being drawn into some sort of trap, but he just wants to do the right thing….

they finally introduce each other, and now we know that mystery woman is named holly. good to know. he points out that there is a pack of sugar right in front of them that says holly?? ohhhh is she lying and that was the first name she came up with…….?

so byers comes back and kicks his coworker ken off of the computer. ken has been EVICTED!!!

the code brought them to the defense data network!!! and she wants him to hack into it??? that feels like a huge ask….

he betrays his FCC code of ethics and tries to get in there… and it takes him literally 3 seconds. damn. he could have been doing that all along. it was simply his moral code holding him back.

they find an encoded file allegedly for her daughter susanne modeski, but i don’t buy it….

but as they’re printing out the papers with the code on them, she says she sees the crazy ex boyfriend!!! they hide… why am i scared it’ll be mulder lmaooo 

AND IT IS????????

what the fuck. 

so, obviously she’s lying on a bunch of different levels. i'm trying to imagine mulder kidnapping a child. it’s laughable. 

he runs into frohike and says “no thanks, handsome” to his offer of bootleg cable and frohike responds with “ah, a man of distinction” <- LMAO so they've just been flirting with each other from the very start?? good to know

mulder’s hair is fluffy to try and make him look younger, and it’s kinda funny and kinda adorable, but mostly funny 

byers and holly go to frohike for help, because he is a very good hacker!!! he says, why are we trying to crack this code if we can just beat the shit out of your ex boyfriend and find your daughter??? it’s a very good point. holly says it’s too dangerous. 

“lady, I’M dangerous” <- LMAOOOO frohike is a king of knowing his value

frohike says i’ll just go find him!! he could have the girl here for all we know!! that's direct action baby!!

holly’s trying to get them to stop following mulder, the "mysterious ex", while byers and frohike watch him…… mulder grabs some alien detection machine and it goes off (lmao) but then he darts into a back corridor. 

and he finds them first!!! OHHHH he busts out the picture of holly and says they’re looking for her at the FBI ohhh nooooo

NOOOO... holly’s gone and ken is being taken away because they think he did the hacking… but all he did was play dig dug 😭😭 poor ken

byers starts to say it was him that did it, when frohike says you cannot turn yourself in as a hacker!!! aww byers :( he doesn't want any trouble... how far he has progressed in the episodes during which we come to know him since these initial moments of guilt and doubt

frohike says they need to hack into the FBI so they can figure out what is up with this woman. byers is gagged at such a request, but then frohike reminds him he’s literally already hacked into the government today, so get used to it.

meanwhile, langly is gambling??? wait. they’re playing D&D. how do you gamble while playing D&D??? no time to answer that. byers and frohike interrupt to request his assistance!

before he can agree to anything, langly makes frohike confess that HIS is the best kung fu 💀💀💀😭😭

byers is having a crisis as he realizes he will probably go to jail… meanwhile, langly hacked right into the FBI!!!! with great efficiency!!

omg wait!!! we have mulder’s info here…. he was born 10/31/61 and his eyes are green??? i guess i don’t spend a lot of time admiring his eyes. and he has a telephone number that i’m sure people still call and whoever it belongs to gets (rightfully) pissed tf off. 

WAIT, IT LISTS HIS CAREER HISTORY….

"1983-1986: oxford university 

1986: quantico academy 

1988: currently assigned to the violent crimes unit"

this answers almost none of my questions, and if i think about it for longer than 3 seconds, i will end up doing a whole post trying to figure out HIS timeline in addition to scully’s. so now i have to struggle with THAT. we’ll circle back to it.

(i'm going to assume those 3 years at oxford would be for a grad degree? unless he went off and traveled the world before attending undergrad? because he would be 26 when went to quantico and then 23 when he started oxford, which gives him enough time to have done an undergrad degree somewhere else?? yeah. let's go with that for now)

they realize there is nothing in his profile about being psychotic or having a daughter, so that’s a point against holly. look at the man! looks totally sane.

OH tea…. HOLLY *is* susanne modeski, wanted for MURDER, SABOTAGE, and other crimes such as TERRORISM!!!! she blew up a lab!!!! this is... not good.

poor byers is realizing what he has done while someone enters the room!!! it’s HER!!!!!!

now what is going on here!!!!! she denies the blowing up of the lab and the killing of people, saying instead she tried to quit her job, which is not a job where you can just quit. and there is no daughter. byers looks so hurt. aww :(

she says that the coded file he found earlier contains everything she needs to expose the government’s plot against its own people… and she had unwittingly moved it forward by developing “ergotamine-histamine gas” <- well. that doesn’t sound good.

it causes anxiety and paranoia on its subjects!! is that what was released in mulder’s apartment at the end of s2??

(sometimes i miss big pieces because i'm so tuned into the little details. like finding out birthdays and the character's wall decorations. ergot i remember from never again, though)

susanne slash holly says the government is going to release this chemical onto the public in baltimore!!

she says the government is behind what happened to JFK and also placing bibles in hotel rooms. you see, i do not think these are quite on the same level of crime. oh, she says it’s for surveillance. well. okay. i guess. 

they don’t seem to believe her, but she has a gun so they move forward with cracking the code as she requests. the message talks of an “E.B.O.”, an engineered biological operation, using toxins on humans. 

ohhhhh there’s an address for where the toxins are located!!!! and she is being watched at all times, ordered by dr. kilbourne, who she says is her dentist??????

now what does her dentist have to do with this? OH, a mouth implant!!! i realize this mere milliseconds before she takes some pliers and leaves the room. you can imagine what will happen next.

she goes to the bathroom to pull out a tooth and it has a…. thingy in it????? what it actually does is incredibly unclear, and tbh i'm cool with that. i don't need to know everything

they flushed the tooth for the fear of giving away the location. which does make sense, but part of me thought they would study it. then they go to the warehouse and find the chemicals in the boxes as described. they are keeping the chemicals in asthma inhalers!!! that's just diabolical.

NOOOO, mulder is here!!!! and he is placing them all under arrest!!!

but then two other people come to grab her??? and mulder is like who tf are you????? they start shooting!!!! and the gas is spilling all over him!!!!!! which is why he’s ripping off his clothes!!!

the two mystery men go to shoot him, but susanne shoots them first!!!!

he’s writhing about….. and she runs away…. when a team arrives wearing gas masks???

AND THEY HAVE X WITH THEM?? who walks up to the lone gunmen, past them, and over to mulder????

X tells them to “sanitize it” while the lone gunmen are watching…… it is giving that scene in monsters inc

mulder is seeing aliens due to the drugs!!!! and that’s why he’s saying “they’re here” ohhh okay that makes sense

they take the guys susanne shot, and they throw 'em in body bags. then seal all of the other boxes of the gas, as well as the opened packaging on the floor that came from the boxes being shot a billion times.

byers asks X what authority he has to do this, which leads him to being told to stfu by frohike…. but he’s not letting it go!!!! ohhhh now they’re being sat down execution style…. X has the gun, and it is behind the head of byers...

the gun is empty, though!!!! so he tells them to "behave yourselves" and leaves. THAT'S ALL HE'S GOING TO DO?? he's going to let them simply walk away???

“it’s all true what susanne said about you people, isn’t it?", asks byers, as X leaves; "about john f kennedy, dallas?”

“i heard it was a lone gunman” <- OHHHH NAME ORIGIN REVEAL 🔥🔥🔥

(i’ve missed X rolling up, saying the coldest lines, and disappearing into the night air... rest in peace king)

someone comes to pick him up, and he leaves. just an average day on the job for a guy like him.

back to byers being questioned, where we began all of this. and the cop does not believe him at all, lmao. would you??

frohike and langly are groaning about women because “your molar pulling girlfriend roped us in and left us swinging in the breeze” (crazy sentence btw) (let's not get misogynistic about it)

oh byers is PISSED at this “i’m here because i wanted to learn the truth” <- YEAH, YOU TELL EM!!

he says she doesn’t owe him anything!!! she opened his eyes to the truth!!! i love a sad looking man with a moral compass!!

and mulder verified their story so they can leave now!!!

mulder’s car was stolen, so they think that susanne took it and went to the newspaper... and sure enough, we see her leaving the building.

they run to find her, knocking down some random guy in the process (LMAOOO) she says the reporters didn’t believe her story, and no one would, but she appreciates their help

oh, and now she’s kissing byers. you see, i didn’t want it to go in that direction. but here we are.

the pay phone right next to them starts ringing,,, and she says “no matter how paranoid you are, you’re not paranoid enough” and that they need to tell as many people as they can the truth; that is their weapon!!! so that must be why they started their organization? to spread the truth?

she is then shoved in a dark car with X in the backseat????

the three or them are then at the convention center while things are getting cleaned up. and mulder is here!!! he says he has weird ideas. susanne is no longer wanted by the FBI… he needs to know wtf happened last night!!

(zoom out as they begin explaining that the government wishes to control and surveil our lives)

mulder does a shocked “whaaa?” at this news and it was so funny lmao

yeah yeah yeah the government is always watching us. we all know that.

so! an interesting episode to see the origins of the nerds, but i’m not sure exactly what it’s leading to? why did we get an origin story for them now? are they going to be playing a bigger role in the rest of the season? or did they just think this was a nice time for a lore reveal?

hmm. hmm. 

well, you may recall that earlier i specially was craving scully and mulder time. and i got NONE OF THAT HERE. so frankly, yes, i am annoyed. i’m not even saying it was a bad episode!! it just didn’t have scully in it, which makes it far less enjoyable than it could be.

i did enjoy seeing more into each of their individual personalities, though, so that is good? and i love how byers wants to be a good guy. aww. he's adorable.

i guess this was a fine episode, but it wasn't what i was looking forward to when i sat down and began watching, which was agents on the case time, so i may have no choice but to watch another episode tonight in an attempt to scratch that itch.

[mykingdomforapen]

courage of stars | a writer's commentary

It's here! The end of the fic is finally here. Oh my gosh, I cannot believe it. I'm so thankful to have gotten to write this fic and share it with you. Thank you for joining this journey with me, and for enjoying this story enough to want to read the behind the scenes. I'm really excited to shout obsessively about the thought process that went into this story, to the point where this commentary is +3k words rip.

Of course, major spoilers for the story ahead:

Original Inspiration

After finishing ‘spinning silk,’ I knew that I wanted to write a story about Cheng Xiaoshi and his mother. It took me some time to settle on how that story would play out, but the one thing I knew for sure I wanted, because this was the image that kickstarted my desire to write about them, was the idea of Cheng Xiaoshi diving into a photo and then stumbling into his mother, equally diving, who realises he is there and goes, “Little rabbit, is that you?” 

I also knew that whoever Cai Liangxing embodied would have a birthmark on their forehead, which I will get into later. 

Initially, I was going to make it a story that drew loose inspiration with the Magic Lotus Lantern story, which is about a demigod boy whose mother is stolen and trapped underneath the mountains by her godly brother, and he had to go on a quest to eventually be capable enough to break open the mountains and save her. In this story, his mother would have had some kind of photograph-related curse instead of abilities that fell upon her somehow, in which at random and uncontrolled moments, she would look upon a photograph and suddenly be sucked into it, and into the person within the photograph (not necessarily the photographer). She wouldn’t have control over it, which means it could happen at random, she can never go forward in time but backwards. Cheng Xiaoshi would have to keep diving into different photos further and further back in time to look for her, which would have led the narrative to explore different decades in Chinese history until he would find her. At one point, they would have agreed that whenever she was and whoever body’s she was in, she would bite her finger and place a small bloodied dot on her forehead so that Cheng Xiaoshi could find her. 

Slowly, though, I realised I didn’t want that to be how the story went. The dot on the forehead is in reference to a Chinese legend that I wanted to explore, and I realised that if I wanted to explore it to its full potential, the story had to go differently. So I scrapped the tumbling down into time idea and leaned more into this legend. This is how the legend goes: there was once a young prince who loved his partner, but something arose (intruders, I think) in which she was fatally wounded. As he held her in his arms and wept, she bit her finger until it bled and painted a small dot on his forehead and said, when I’m reborn, I will have this birthmark on my forehead. I will find you again. And then she dies. 

Many years passed, and the prince became the king. As king, he one day met a young man with a birthmark on his forehead and realised that this was his lover reincarnated. Of course, the young man did not retain any of those memories, but the king showed him great favor and took him in as his own, and eventually the young man grew to become the king’s trusted advisor. However, this young man slowly became corrupt, his allegiances were elsewhere, and it eventually became evident that he was a traitor to the kingdom and to the king. With a mournful heart, the king ultimately executed this young man. 

I wanted this idea of someone Cheng Xiaoshi loved being in the body of someone else, but who is losing themselves entirely until they are someone who causes Cheng Xiaoshi harm. I replaced reincarnation with the Cheng family’s photo hopping abilities, and eventually (and might I say, through tremendous and late-night efforts lol) developed SUn Yihan, the one who really had to carry the story’s stakes. I also knew that I still wanted this story to be deeply tied to Chinese modern history, and so Sun Yihan’s backstory was the way it was. 

There were three scenes I knew for sure I wanted to write, that really propelled the direction of the story: 

1) “Little rabbit, is that you?” 

2) Cai Liangxing, knowing of Lu Guang’s abilities, speaking to him through a photograph, and 

3) the scene in heaven of Cheng Xiaoshi and his parents, “Oh, Yinhe, he’s so beautiful.” 

I just knew I wanted to keep these concepts in and write them in whatever way possible. 

I also would be remiss if I didn't mention the song from which the title of the fic originated. Also, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that its music video left an indelible mark on me, and is probably from where the imagery in the final chapter drew inspiration!

Epigraph

The epigraph for this story is one of the most famous poems from Li Bai, a Chinese Tang dynasty poet. It’s so famous, in fact, that I hesitated to use it because it’s famous to the point of cheesy. Elementary school children recite it, it’s one of the first poems you will learn in any Chinese language class. It’s very simple, and yet the themes just felt fitting. 

Here it is again in Chinese: 

床前明月光

疑是地上霜

举头望明月

低头思故乡

Here is its English translation: 

Before my bed lies a pool of moon bright I could imagine that it's frost on the ground I look up and see the bright shining moon Bowing my head I am thinking of home

The moon is such a crucial symbol in this story, and Chinese literature/art is FLUSH with moon imagery. This one I felt to be really fitting because I felt it reflected Cheng Xiaosh and Lu Guang all at once. Cheng Xiaoshi’s relationship with the poem a little more in its literal meaning, in that his mother had told him in the beginning of the story to look at the moon when she is gone because Mama Rabbit is always looking after him. And how, as Cheng Xiaoshi walked to the forest to his death, he looked at the moon and saw it for what it meant, rather than what it was, to draw courage from it. 

Lu Guang’s relationship to this poem is more tied to its context. Li Bai was writing this from a place of reflecting on filial piety. The inspiration from which he wrote it was imagining a Confucian scholar in the employment of the emperor who misses his hometown on Mid-Autumn Festival. It’s almost a little too on the nose for Lu Guang, isn’t it? Haha. 

Sun, Moon, and Stars

When I first wrote the opening of “courage of stars,” with Cheng Xiaoshi and his parents stargazing on their last night together, I honestly expected that to be the extent of celestial bodies’ presence in the story. All I had asked from it was for the stars, representative of his parents, to reflect that myth of stars being long dead but their light still reaches us. In this scant use of the motif of the heavens, light still represented love. 

In fact, the mention of Mid-Autumn Festival aligning with CXS’ death scene was just for my fun, since his death might coincide with Mid-Autumn on any given year (albeit not any year that the story could logically take place, but we’re assuming that they live in an alternate earth anyway hahaha). It felt like it would be fun to make the slowly filling moon reflect the passage of time that draws closer to CXS’ death day. In short, the sun and the moon were really meant to be somewhat melancholic motifs, and not much more.

Also, I liked to draw a through line between Cai Liangxing and Chang’E, the legend of the moon goddess. In order to protect her husband’s magic, Chang’E consumed a magical pill that a cruel man was trying to steal, which made her levitate all the way up to the moon. She kept the villain from taking the pills, but in turn she was trapped on that moon with no way to come down for the rest of eternity. Much like…

But the more that I wrote, the more that my appreciation for the moon and what it could symbolize really took root, particularly in the moment where CXS and LG reconcile after their painful conflict. Chapter 7 is really precious to me because I wanted to write a reconciliation between best friends that showed them in all their messiness and earnestness. I wanted these two best friends to be confronted with the shortcomings and pitfalls of each other and their own ability to love, and to still be able to comfort each other. I think for me, I err on the side of writing a friendship love in an idolizing way, putting it on a pedestal as the Ultimate Source of Love, when that isn’t really sustainable. CXS and LG aren’t going to be perfect friends to each other. They’re going to be messy and selfish and their love for each other will not be complete. But it is still precious. 

So when I wrote the last scene of them in LG’s bedroom, forgiving each other, the moon motif struck me. I thought about how the moon, in its pearly luminescence, is really reflecting the light of the sun. It glows, it is gorgeous, it is the stuff of poems and music, and it is in truth a reflection. My writing is really guided by my faith, and I often think of the line from the musical Les Miserables: “To love another person is to see the face of God.” My experience with love and with faith has often been best described as that we people are riverbeds, receiving and outpouring love to one another whose source is the Living Water. So when I wrote about the moon, it just…clicked. Ah, it’s a fountain. From the sun, to the moon, to the earth. Light as water as love. Cheng Xiaoshi shines with love to Lu Guang, but he doesn’t have to have the pressure or the burden of being Lu Guang’s only source of it. They are both joyful, earnest riverbeds, whose imperfections are not enough to stop the flow of love coming to one another.

After that, it really guided me in my writing, especially as we reached the climaxes, and Mid-Autumn approaching. The filling moon, and the holiday, still held this ominous tone to them because they do still indicate Cheng Xiaoshi’s coming death day. But, much like the memories of other motifs in this story, painful imagery also live alongside hopeful and encouraging ones. The full moon that terrified Lu Guang is also the moon that lit Cheng Xiaoshi’s way and followed him, symbolically, when he was afraid. We all go through journeys in life where none of our loved ones can follow us all the way, physically or emotionally, whether because they leave or because they simply cannot. Only we can feel the heartache in our own chest, even when someone is holding our hand. In that moment, as loved as Cheng Xiaoshi is by his friends, he must take this journey to his death alone. His own mother had literally forgotten him. But the moon, sunlight reflected, this story’s motif for love and courage and mercy, followed him every step of the way. 

Frogs/Corpse Pond

Frog Guang has become such an icon from this fic that I feel like I must make a little section for the frogs! 

When I was writing ‘spinning silk,’ there was a moment where Lu Guang is reliving his childhood and there’s a moment where he is with his grandfather, and he’s showing his grandfather a fat frog that he found. It was a throwaway line, and I do not intend for the universe of silk to be the same as stars (for the most part, I intend for each of my fics to all be of different universes, not even different timelines, but they simply cannot coexist), and there are differences in each Yeye’s backstories. But that throwaway line did plant that idea in my head that Lu Guang loved frogs, to carry over into ‘stars.’ 

I’m not a frog aficionado myself, although this headcanon has made me a lot fonder of them. I am ever thankful to Rulos who knows much more about frogs than me and told me frog facts and types to flesh out Lu Guang’s favor for them. But I do have an echo of frogs in my own family history. When my grandmother was pregnant with my father, this was during the famine years and she was like, 36kg/81lbs. There just wasn’t a lot of food! So she ate frogs that came from the pond in her neighborhood to supplement her nutrition. That was a story she told us and it stuck to me ever since, especially because said pond is one I am very fond of in my own life. For, of course, very different reasons than hers. Which leads me to my next subsection…

Hunger

The motif of hunger vs abundance came almost naturally, as a result of the frogs. One of my readers (I see you Juno) aptly noticed the juxtaposition between Lu Guang having a love for frogs that his grandparents ate out of desperation, and I was so excited that they saw that because that’s exactly what I was trying to capture. Hunger vs abundance. Starvation in Yeye’s anecdotes, and even Sun Yihan’s adulthood (for my parents’ generation, it was indeed so rare to eat chicken that it would only ever be eaten on New Year), compared to Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang basically having tons of snacks and meals in every chapter. And then, the way that hunger can really make people go impulsive and reckless and foolish. I know I make some dumb decisions when hungry just to fill my stomach. Anecdotes of people in horrible situations, be it in war or genocide or famine, hurting or killing others just to have a small bite to eat. Cheng Xiaoshi was so, so hungry for want of his mother that he betrayed Lu Guang. Sun Yihan/Ye Ci, starving for lack of a father figure and a sense of belonging in the world, betrayed his mother. Remember that you have been hungry, too. 

Names

I was very excited about the fact that I could make each chapter name of ‘stars’ correlate to a name, or to a meaning of a name/name-adjacent, because names really do play such a big role in this story. For one, plot-wise it is what put Cheng Xiaoshi in so much danger. Cai Liangxing and Cheng Yinhe’s names being oh so symbolic. Cheng Xiaoshi’s and Lu Guang’s childhood nicknames become almost motifs in and of themselves. And of course, Sun Yihan’s chosen name marking him as a punishment versus his secret, lost birth name of Ye Ci (which shares a character with the word ‘mercy.’) 

Also I want to emphasize that whenever he talked about him, Grandpa Lu always referred to Sun Yihan by the family name (Sun zai) because I didn’t want him to really interact or acknowledge his self-given name of Yihan. As he always said before, Grandpa Lu has no regrets meeting SYH, and he wishes SYH would not either. 

And I do love when a name is thematic. Cheng Xiaoshi naming Lu Guang’s new frog ‘Cassini’ is so important to me. 

Alternate Scenes/Ideas

Yeye was originally going to have abilities! His abilities would have something to do with being able to see a room in the past, so time traveling within a confined space of a room. He would have been able to use the traditional art of paper cutting that, if you pin it onto the wall, you would be able to see what had occurred in the room during the past (although, not necessarily able to interact with it). I did want to try to create a power for him where one could interact with the past, but then realised it would get messy and also would be very ironic of Lu Guang to be so adamant about his time scruple. The wall art magic would have been the original way that LG and CXS find out about CXS’ father’s death–witnessing it, not so much living through it. Sorry, CXS.

Lu Guang initially was supposed to be able to talk directly with Cai Liangxing while she was in the past. So LG was actually going to be the person to tell CLX that CXS has an unchangeable death node, and they would have come to some kind of agreement that they would do everything in their power to save him. Something about his abilities combining with Yeye’s would have made that possible, however I scrapped it because I couldn’t think of a way to do it elegantly, and that would stay true to the rules of the magic/universe. 

Qiao Ling at one point would have tried to use her abilities to look into a photo of Cai Liangxing, and would notice that when she peeked into Cai Liangxing’s mind, it would be exactly the same as when she would try to peek into Sun Yihan’s, thus emphasizing that the two have molded into one person. 

Sun Yihan was actually going to be something of a serial killer. He would have murdered young men with the surname Cheng in order to absorb Cheng Xiaoshi’s abilities, albeit he doesn’t know if he found the right Cheng Xiaoshi or not. Scrapped because I realised that would lean him towards villainy, which wasn’t what I ultimately wanted for his character, so…serial kidnapping. 

On that note, Cheng Xiaoshi would hae been recruited by Captain Xiao to dive into the photo of one of the victims to find out who the killer was. Upon discovering that it was SYH, LG would have panicked at him to get out and that would be how they realised SYH is hunting CXS down and for what reason he was killing all these young guys. I ultimately took all the tension I wanted from such a scene and put it into CXS diving into his father. 

CXS was initially going to get kidnapped by SYH (no Lu Guang as bait) and forced into experiments, which would lead him to dive into SYH’s mother at one point. He would inherit her emotions towards her son. I scrapped it when I reasoned that she probably would not have had any chance to take a photo between getting accused and getting killed. 

Fanart

I am so blessed to have artists share fanart of the fic with me. I wanted to put them all in one place, and will continue to add to this doc as I know one of my commissioned pieces from Sunny will be posted sometime later today. Thank you so much for everyone for sharing their imagination and vision of this little world with me. I'm so touched. Everyone please please please feast your eyes on these arts and show the artist love!!

PM_Paint

@sailboat-sparrow 1, 2

Blepps

@quarriart Quarri

@sgdlr-asdfghjkl Niebo

intothefrisson (sunny)

@doublxpresso (DX)

Thank you...

I just want to dedicate this space to say a HUGE thank you to my wonderful beta and dear friend, @fluffy-rulos. Rulos was cheering me on as I wrote this monster of a fic, tracked the mystery for me, gave me suggestions and feedback that helped me make the fic better, and of course, gave me all the frog facts for Frog Guang. I am so thankful for her and this story wouldn’t be the same without her. This story took about five months to write, writing for almost every single day of the week, and I don’t know how I would have made it this far without her encouragement and excitement. Thank you for joining me on this adventure my friend!! 

And thank you to everyone who stayed with the fic from beginning to end. I really hope you liked it and enjoyed reading the behind the scenes. I'll miss you all <3.

[scaredshadowsswap]

(I hope my English is as understandable as possible) I'm embarrassed to ask this but I was constantly asked how the SCP staff would react If they meet an androgynous person for the first time D:

Your english was great! I actually have a lot of ideas for this at the moment, but this is the first time I’ve gotten a request, so it might not come out right. I wrote this generally as the non-binary or genderfluid type of androgynous, but I think it applies just the same to people who just look androgynous :)

Clef:

Clef is probably pretty understanding, but that doesn’t make you exempt from one-liners that cross the line. I imagine Clef will make a lot of pop-culture references, so there’ll be no direct insults, but you may be called the names of famous androgynous people. Be prepared to answer to Annie Lennox or Boy George at least once. No matter your identity, he’ll call you the name of whoever your hair is closest to. Since you’re the first androgynous person Clef meets, you’ll be hearing it a lot, since he has no one else to tease. However, Clef’s insults are not reflective of their opinions, because Clef insults everyone. I think he’d almost like working with an androgynous person more? To Clef, your appearance would be a plus in certain field ops and Foundation situations, so Clef’d probably want you on their MTF.

If you work directly under Clef, he’d be fun and terrifying, just like normal. He’d definitely have an issue with anyone who made fun of your appearance and was serious about their comments, but he’d find a roundabout way of scarring them mentally for life :)

Kondraki:

If it was just seeing you in passing, Kondraki wouldn’t care. If it was working with you, I don’t even know if he’d notice. Kondraki is notoriously bad at names, which makes me think he’s probably also not great at faces. He seems like the type of guy who would take 4 months to notice your hair is firetruck red, so I wouldn’t worry about Kondraki at all. He only cares about if you are hardworking, if you’ll do his paperwork for him, and if you’ll change the coffee filter.

That being said, you’re the first androgynous person Kondraki is meeting. Since you look different from most of the people he works with, he’d probably love taking pictures of you because you’re a unique muse for photos.

Iceberg:

Iceberg will absolutely open the conversation with an insult about your appearance. How you respond will determine how he views you, almost like he was testing you. For best results, answer calmly, confidently, and do not reply with another insult, as he seems quite sensitive. His “Why do you look so weird?” would best be countered with a simple “I don’t know, but I like it!” or something along those lines. He will probably roll his eyes and not say anything else, but he will speak to you again in the future. However, I don’t think Iceberg would have an issue with you looking androgynous at all. I think he’s lacking a filter, and will say whatever pops to mind in a sort of mean way. He was simply acknowledging that you look different to what he is used to, but I think he’d like the style. If you end up becoming friends, he may begin to emulate aspects of your style. He would definitely gift you a scarf sometime to see you you’d style it so he could copy it for future reference.

Gears:

Gears is a short one because he wouldn’t care, or at least, he wouldn’t let anyone know. He is cold, reserved, and respectful, and treats you exactly the same as he treats most researchers. Even if you were working directly below him and he got closer to you, I don’t think he’d acknowledge your appearance except to tie it back to work. “Your hair is a mess, I suggest sleeping at your apartment tonight instead of on a couch” or something like that. Never a comment he wouldn’t make to someone else. However, I think he’d compliment you if you ever changed your hair/makeup/wardrobe, so he definitely notices and thinks positively of it.

Shaw:

Shaw would LOVE it. She’s been genderfluid for a very long time due to 963, so it would probably be a shock to them when they saw a person who looked gender-neutral and/or androgynous. But, it would be a pleasant surprise. He’d probably invite you to tea sometime or some sort of poker event, but you two are besties for the resties.

Shaw would definitely confide in you about their issues related to 963 very quickly, but they’re a decent judge of character and wouldn’t overwhelm you with their struggles. She will absolutely recruit you into her pranks, and sometimes play some on you.

Rights:

Rights would also love you, but it’s because she’d have so many ideas. She’s fashionable, and would have so much fun giving you ideas, whether it be for an everyday casual office outfit, or a formal suit or dress. If you worked directly with Rights, she’d be very low drama with you.

Glass:

Glass is a therapist, so he’ll probably be pretty happy to see that you are doing something that makes you comfortable. He might be able to give you advice on how to deal with some other staff who aren’t as accepting. Glass is a pretty short one because I can’t imagine him caring about your appearance past making sure that you felt comfortable in your skin.

Strelnikov:

Strelnikov…He’s from Russia. I think of Kondraki as traditional, but Kondraki is from Massachusetts, and Strelnikov is actually from Russia, and I think it would take him some time to get used to it. He calls all the male nurses “babies”, so I wouldn’t expect very much from this man.

If you’re hoping for any respect from him, you’ve already raised your standards too high. He may try to pull your records to find your sex at birth, he may snoop through your apartment, but he will not play fair or kindly. He might make comments about it, but at the very least, he won’t talk about you behind your back. Every comment he ever makes about you will be to your face. He might come around…three years later…

[rainesol]

Naga culture and customs for oc worldbuilding!

Decided to compile some things for any past or future Ksho fics!! Not all of these are identical to snake behaviour 🫵 don’t freak your pets out/j

Long post!!

Ksho typically stands between 6’5 and 7’. He adjusts his height depending on who he’s talking to. However, he always adjusts himself to be taller than whoever he’s looking at. This isn’t out of intimidation! Naga have poor eyesight, and it’s an old tradition to stand above who you’re talking to to cast a shadow on their face and see it better! Disrespect would be shown through standing above someone but not tilting the head down, and instead looking down their nose or tilting the head up and glaring down. You can have casual conversation laying or sitting though.

Naga houses are well decorated on the outside! The walls are adorned with colourful feathers, plants and murals. Once again, poor vision. If the buildings blend in with the trees, people walk into them.

Kissing isn’t often done. Especially on the head. Think about what a mouth on the head would mean to a snake. Very rude. A forehead bump is an affectionate alternative. Kisses, though rare, are normally planted on the shoulder.

Dancing is common! In the original Jungle Book novel, Kaa hypnotises prey through dance, not his eyes. It’s a reference to that.

The transition from infant->toddler->child is quicker in Nagas. It’s common to see little kids out alone with no adult supervision. They’re fine 👍

Surprisingly touchy! It’s commented on that Ksho is surprisingly comfortable resting against his parents could for someone of ‘his age’.

Another greeting- tongue flicking. It might feel weird if you’re not part snake, but it’s just so they can commit your scent to memory. It can range from something you do without thinking for someone you just met, to something vastly more intimate between friends, family or partners. Depends on how up close and personal you’re getting. Tongue in general vicinity/face: hey dude nice to meet you. Tongue out while cuddling, in neck or right up against skin: this dude likes you and wants to be able to pick you out in a crowd.

Aggression is similar to that of snakes. A huff (similar to a hiss, but smaller and quieter. A little squeaky puff of air): annoyance, could also be curiosity, could also be panic. A hiss (huge exhale. Lot of air coming out of a small hole. Spooky noise): actually anger, back off before you get bit. Tail wags: aggression again. Back off.

Zero waste community. Similar to the Na’vi in Avatar, every part of an animal gets put to use. The leader of Ksho’s village wears false wyvern wing ear cuffs, and Ksho has a bracelet made of crocodile teeth.

Very gender neutral. In an ask, I refer to some Naga kids by ‘they’ only. This is the complete standard for them. (Their language is also gender neutral, but still) Post hatching, you can’t really tell what sex a baby is. So all names in Serpentine are gender neutral!

Clothing is seen more as an accessory than something to cover you. They’re reptiles. Nothing on that torso to cover or support.

Body standards are different. Everyone has stretch marks. Everyone has fluctuating hip size. Also, python specific, but big=tough. In the book, Kaa takes any comments on his weight as a compliment. (At the end of book three, Ksho doesn’t actually get what’s embarrassing about the photo. Loads of people look like that.)

Shedding. Very personal. A vulnerable time. Very close people may allow each other to assist in removing shed skin from the scalp. Assisting in shedding is a close and intimate act. Ksho is pre-shed when first properly introduced and comes across as shy and sensitive.

Post shedding? Dude I look awesome. Common to compliment each other post-shed.

Sleeping. When you’re tired, you sleep. Even if you had work to do. Ksho had quite the culture shock because of this. Wdym it’s lazy to sleep first and do homework later? Surely my work will be better when I’m well rested?

Eating cycles. Be respectful of these. Just after eating=sleepy. Go away. Also very vulnerable. If you’re close, you may be allowed to hang out post-meal, though.

Don’t be shocked by the views on minor injuries. Broken ribs are as common as broken toes.

A lot of the body is not to be touched. Stomach? We’re not friends. Head? Don’t threaten me. Tail? That’s very not allowed. Consent is key. Don’t get yourself crushed in self defence.

Fight or flight is STRONG. No sneaking up on people.

Waving is best when making it very obvious. I can see best when you’re moving. Another thing to catch attention is vibrations. Hit the ground then beckon.

Serpentine sign language is a combination of tactile sign language and visual. The visual signs are wider and more obvious.

Common to bathe in groups. There’s a lot of you to wash and dry. Ksho doesn’t visit Pomefiore because he has to wipe his whole body before entering.

Kids are taught early to watch their strength.

Infant-> hatchling. Toddler/child-> snakelet.

I may rb with a part two should more ideas strike!!!

[makethiscoldworldbeautiful]

Photos by me.

I think this is the first post I want to make to tumblr because these photos are special to me.

I was on a gorgeous roadtrip through Arizona a few years ago appreciating the Sonoran desert, but I stopped in downtown Phoenix for a coffee, and ended up finding the most beautiful potted plant display I think I’ve ever seen, in a little quiet courtyard by some restaurants. This set really only shows half of the display, even, there was another setup right beside it equally as remarkable. I also enjoy painting, and the level of subtle detail here caught my eye. I took some of these photos as references to paint later.

I’m just captivated by the number of different textures and colors fit into these two planters. How so many unique plants could blend together into such an aesthetically pleasing display. I was out in the desert to marvel at the natural beauty, but I was struck just as hard by the human ingenuity of whoever put those pots together, and the people tending the plants and keeping them healthy. It made me happy for humanity.

I had the book “Walkable City” by Jeff Speck stuck in my brain, as I often do, and I wonder at what humans might achieve if we were more in touch with nature and less in touch with blind capitalism. I want to elaborate more on what that trip taught me, but I wanted to show these flowers first and foremost, because to me they represent hope and creativity and inspiration.

Part 1/2