#more on this story as it develops (the moment i get over it i will throw a week long party)
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More Munson Than Expected - Eddie Munson x Reader
An As You Wish story
Written with my beloved @munson-blurbs 💜
Summary: The ultrasound for your second pregnancy brings a new wave of excitement to the Munson household.
Note: The excitement I have to let this secret out of the bag after cooking it up for over a year is real. I hope you enjoy!
Warnings: pregnant!reader
Words: 4.1k
[As You Wish masterlist]
“Eddie, you didn’t have to come with me,” you remind him again as he pulls up a chair next to the examination table he just helped you get situated on.
Your husband gives you a disapproving look as he makes himself comfortable in the seat. He shakes his head as he reaches out and takes one of your hands in his.
“Did you really think I was going to miss this?” he asks. “No way. I was there for Eliza’s first ultrasound, I’m going to be there for this one’s too.”
“What about the boys?”
Eddie sighs. “I was there for Ryan’s. But I wasn’t aware of when Luke’s was, so I missed it. Don’t tell him.”
“I won’t,” you say, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “He would know it wasn’t your fault, though.”
“You keep your mouth shut too, hmm?” Eddie leans over and presses a kiss to your emerging bump.
“I don’t know if he or she developed a mouth yet,” you say, the sanitary paper crinkling beneath you as you try to get comfortable.
“Not gonna find out if you’re a he or she,” Eddie continues talking to his developing child. He reaches out and rubs a hand over your stomach. “Wanna see you, though. And make sure you’re healthy.”
The door to the examination room swings open, bringing with it the distinct smell of antiseptic. The ultrasound technician walks in and closes the door behind her.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Munson,” she greets with a smile. “My name is Tara and I’ll be doing your ultrasound today. The doctor tells me that you don’t want to know the sex. Is that correct?”
“Yes,” you respond with a nod. “We want this one to be a surprise.”
“That is no problem. Let me just set up here and we’ll get started.”
While she gets to work, Eddie helps you as you attempt to tug your shirt up enough to avoid the cold and sticky goo that will inevitably be squirted on your stomach for the ultrasound. You’re able to tuck it into the underwire of your bra just to be sure that it won’t slide back down and get all messy.
One of the sleeves of Eddie’s jumpsuit falls down and he shoves it back up past his elbow. You take in the navy material, your eye tracing over his name sewn on in red thread over his heart.
“What time are they expecting you back at work?” you ask him.
He shrugs. “They know where I’m at. They know it might be a little while.”
“Alright, are we ready?” Tara asks.
“Yep.” You offer your hand to Eddie again and he laces his ringed fingers with yours.
Tara picks up the bottle of the dreaded goo and squirts a healthy amount on your abdomen. The chill against your skin sends a shiver throughout your body. At least the wand should warm it up as the tech spreads the substance around to get the best view of the baby.
To you and your husband it feels like you’re just looking at a black screen with wavy white lines on it. Somehow, everything seems to make sense to Tara as she positions the wand on different parts of your stomach.
“Oh,” she says at one point, stilling the instrument against your skin. “Here we go.”
A soft but steady thump thump thump fills the air of examination room 5. Tears immediately well up in your eyes. You look at Eddie to see him grinning from ear to ear.
With the slightest movement of the wand sliding against the goo, you hear thump thump thump thump thump thump.
“Oh wow,” you say through a sniffle. “You can hear it even better now.”
“Sounds strong,” Eddie adds.
“Actually…” Tara trails off.
“What?” Eddie asks. You feel his hand tighten in your grip. “It’s…not strong?”
“Oh, no, no, it’s very strong. It sounds perfect to me. But I want you to listen.” There are a few moments of silence as the three of you listen to the heartbeat.
“It sounds fast,” you say.
“It does,” Tara agrees. “But if you listen, you can hear some of the beats overlapping one another.”
She leans in towards the screen and moves the wand again, just slightly. A smile grows on her face as she spots something in the mess of gray shapes on the machine. “Hear it?” she asks.
“Yeah, kind of,” Eddie says. “What does that mean?”
“Well, if you look here,” she replies, pointing towards what looks like a small blob, “that’s your baby.”
Pure glee radiates throughout your entire being. It’s your first glimpse at your and Eddie’s new baby. Another life that the two of you created together. You share a quick loving look with your husband before you both become engrossed in the image on the screen again.
“And here…” Tara says, sliding her finger slightly to the right, “is your other baby.”
The room goes silent save for the sound of the heartbeat. Or rather, heartbeats. Though your ears heard the words, your brain is still processing what they mean. It’s clearly the same with Eddie, as he stares at Tara just like you are.
“I’m sorry,” Eddie finally says. He chuckles and licks over his lips. “Did you say, ‘other baby’?”
“I did, indeed.” Tara taps a few keys on the machine, and it looks like it takes a screenshot. “There are two babies here. Two distinct heartbeats and two little nuggets showing off to the camera.”
“Twins.” The word comes out of you as a whispered breath. “We’re having twins.”
“Not just Baby Munson #4,” Eddie adds in a voice as awed as yours. “Baby Munson #5, too.”
“And they both appear to be developing well,” Tara says.
Eddie laughs. “No. No, we, uh, we’re not having twins.” He looks down at you, then back at Tara. “We decided we’re just having one more. I’m already forty-one, so just the one newborn is already pushing it.”
Tara grins, clearly used to this kind of reaction. “Well, you’d better rest up. Because you’ll be a father to two new little ones in a few months.”
Eddie grabs your hand, still stunned by the news. You can’t say you’re faring much better, although it does explain why this pregnancy has been so much more intense than when you were expecting Eliza. Part of you feels relieved that it wasn’t all in your head. But another part…
“Twins.” The word leaves your lips in an exhale. “We’re…babe, we’re gonna have five kids. We’re gonna be a family of seven.”
A clammy hand squeezes yours, and you glance up to see Eddie visibly trembling. “How am I gonna raise five kids?” He murmurs. “That’s one more than Harrington, and that dude was pretty much born to be a dad.”
Tara’s brows furrow as she cleans off your belly. “I’ll, um, leave you two to discuss.” She starts for the door, then turns around. “Take all the time you need.”
As soon as the door clicks shut, Eddie starts pacing around the tiny exam room. “Okay, okay. We’re having two babies. At the same time.”
“Yes, that’s generally what happens with twins.”
He rolls his eyes in annoyance. “I could do without your sarcasm right now, Sweetheart. I just found out that I’m about to out-kid Steve Harrington.”
“Out-kid?” You tuck your lips into your mouth to stifle a laugh.
Eddie doesn’t pick up on your joking tone. “Yes! He has four, and I’ll have five. Five!” He rakes a hand through his hair. “I was barely keeping two alive before you came along, and now I’m gonna be responsible for five?!”
“First of all,” you say, pushing yourself up, “you were an amazing dad before we got together. Even before I started watching the boys, when you were basically doing it on your own. Give yourself some credit. Second, Ryan will be going to college soon enough, so we’ll only have four kids in the house.”
Your attempt at consoling your husband falls flat. “Oh my god, I’m gonna have infants while my oldest is gonna be in college! I’m supposed to be slowing down, not re-babyproofing the house!” He buries his head in his hands. “What were we thinking? And why do you always have to look so hot? I wouldn’t be tempted to jump your bones all the time if you weren’t so goddamn sexy.”
You sigh. “I mean, you’re the one who’s always telling me you want to ‘pump me full of your babies.’ Guess now you really did it.”
“Holy shit.” Eddie runs his hands down his face and takes a deep breath. He stands in the same spot, staring at you for a few silent moments before a smile begins to crack through his fog. “Holy shit.”
“Calming down now?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. “Or realizing I’m the one who has to push two of them out of my body?”
Eddie ambles over to you on the examining table and rests his forehead against yours. His shoulders have gone down to their usual height again, no longer bunched up around his ears with tension.
“Okay, I had my mini freak out,” he says softly, reaching up to tug the hem of your shirt down back over your bump. “You may have yours.”
With a low chuckle, you reach up and cup your husband’s face in your hands.
“I still don’t think it’s hit me yet,” you admit. “Or maybe trying to logic-out your fear helped me with my own, too. I mean, you said something about being too old to re-babyproof the house? Sweetheart, we would have had to do that with one baby anyway.”
“Common sense left me there for a little bit, I’ll admit.”
“And I’ve got one more bone to pick with you,” you say, leaving one hand on his face and using the other to poke him in the chest.
“What’s that?”
“You said Steve was pretty much born to be a dad. Eddie, out of all the people I’ve ever met in my life, you are definitely the one who was always meant to be a dad.” You lower your hand to your bump. “Because it doesn’t matter if there were one, two, three, or even eight babies in here. You’d still love them all unconditionally and try your hardest to give the world to them.”
“I love our babies,” Eddie replies softly. His hand moves to rest on top of yours on your bump. “I love our twins.”
“Hey, we’ve got some extra resources this time around, too,” you point out. “Ryan drives now. We can recruit him for diaper or formula runs. And he can take Luke and Eliza places if we’re not able to. Luke is old enough now not to be intimidated by being around newborns. He’ll definitely be more hands-on than he was with Eliza. And speaking of the little firecracker…we already know she’s going to be like a mother hen to them. See? Recruiting the kids to help with the kids. And that doesn’t even mention Wayne and all of our friends. At least ninety percent of them owe us from watching their kids at one point or another.”
“My wife is so smart,” Eddie praises with a small smile.
“She is,” you reply coyly. “Do you think you could help me off this table, though? Makes sense why it’s been harder for me to get up from things lately—two against one here.”
Eddie gently takes your arms and leads you to a comfortable seated position before helping you hop down from the high table.
The two of you walk hand-in-hand out of the doctor’s office and across the parking lot to your car. The sun seems warmer and brighter than when you went in. There’s not a cloud in the sky—were there any before? Birds call to one another from the trees that encircle the medical plaza, and their tune brings a smile to your face. Everything seems so light and airy around you that it almost makes you feel like you’re dissociating. But there’s Eddie’s hand in yours. The sneakers you wear knock against the concrete with every step, reverberating the vibration up your legs. You’re very much here in this moment. The magic in the air comes from knowing the amount of love you carried for the bundle of joy in your belly has just doubled. The thought of kissing two little button noses goodnight every day instead of one has you giddy.
“Baby,” you say as Eddie opens the passenger car door for you. “We’re gonna have double the cuddles.”
“Double the drooly kisses.” The smile on your husband’s face tells you that he’s excited about the prospect. “Double new baby smell.”
You secure your seatbelt and rest both of your hands on your belly as Eddie walks around the car and slides into the driver’s seat.
“Double the love we give and receive,” you muse softly, looking down at your protruding bump. “I wonder if I’ll get double the pain meds when I’m in labor.”
Eddie laughs as he pulls the car out of the parking space.
“Time will tell,” he says. “Are you hungry, princess?”
“Yeah. I mean, makes sense, since I’m eating for three,” you reply. “But don’t you have to get back to work?”
“There is no way I’ll be able to focus on anything,” Eddie says with a breathy chuckle as he shakes his head. “I’m taking the rest of the day.”
“Okay. Do you want to get lunch at—oh boy.”
Eddie’s eyes glance over at you before looking back on the road.
“What?” he asks. “What’s wrong?”
“No, not wrong,” you say. “Just…I-I don’t know how we’ll keep this from the kids. We didn’t think we’d have anything to report to them other than the baby being healthy since we’re not finding out the sex. But there’s absolutely no way I won’t slip up and say ‘babies’ or ‘them’ or something that will give it away. I’d rather they hear the news from us directly than catching us in a slip.”
Eddie nods in agreement. “How do you think we should tell them?”
“Umm…” You purse your lips as you start to ponder different scenarios. Both you and Eddie think in silence for a few minutes before he speaks.
“Oh, I’ve got an idea…”
Eliza is thrilled to have both of her parents picking her up from school. The way she goes on and on about an arts and crafts project they did in class today reminds you of when you were just the babysitter and picked Ryan and Luke up from school. Luke always had something interesting to babble on about—much to your amusement.
Your second oldest is already at home when you walk in the front door holding Eliza’s hand and Eddie trails in behind with a few bags from the store. Usually, Ryan drives both himself and Luke home from school every day, but now Ryan takes SAT Prep classes once a week after school, forcing Luke to take the bus home. Which you’d think was one of the trials of Hercules with how often Luke shares his disdain for the form of transportation.
“Whatcha got, Pops?” Luke asks from the couch. His hand is buried in a bag of white cheddar popcorn and an episode of Supernatural is on the television.
“You’ll see,” Eddie tells him, taking the bags straight to your room. Best to keep them out of the way of the two nosiest Munson children. Although, you wonder to yourself if that will change with the new additions.
Eliza spies the snack her brother has and quickly sheds her Little Mermaid backpack and pink Mary Jane shoes to climb up on the couch next to him. She sticks an arm in the popcorn bag and brings out as big a handful as her little fist would allow her.
“There’s food in the bags,” Eliza says to Luke through the kernels stuffing her cheeks.
“Huh?” Luke clearly doesn’t speak four-year-old-with-a-full-mouth.
“The bags Daddy has,” Eliza says once she’s swallowed. She wipes her white cheddar covered fingertips on her white tights. “There’s food in them. I smelled it in the car.”
“Good job, Watson,” he tells her.
“Uh, who?” Eliza gives her older brother a look that clearly relays she thinks he’s crazy. It doesn’t stop her from taking another handful of popcorn, though.
“Watson. Sherlock Holmes’ assistant. They’re detectives, Lize.”
“Oh,” is all she says before shoving more popcorn into her mouth.
You putter around, cleaning up the kitchen and tidying the living room to keep yourself from spilling the beans too early. It’s important to wait until Ryan gets home later. You just know time is going to crawl by at a snail’s pace for the next hour and a half.
When your oldest son finally arrives home, you usher everyone around the kitchen table for a family meeting.
“Am I in trouble?” Luke huffs. “Because if I am, I’d like to plead not guilty.”
Eddie raises his brows. “Not sure why you’d be in trouble, but I’m sure we’ll find out.” He clears his throat, placing a loving hand on your bump. “No, this family meeting is to tell you guys some exciting news we got at the ultrasound today.”
He reaches over and plucks a grease-soaked Burger King bag from the counter. “Ry, you get the first clue.”
Ryan practically tears open the bag, the hungry teenager ready to devour the Double Whopper without even unwrapping it.
“Is the baby a hamburger?” Ryan asks mid-bite. He pulls out the fries you got along with it. “Or is it small? Is the clue ‘small fry?’”
You shake your head. “Nope. Nice try, though.”
Luke’s clue is next, though he’s too busy trying to get his brother to share his food to really pay attention. When Ryan finally relents and tosses a fry his way, Luke looks down at the Gameboy game box in front of him.
“A Looney Tunes double pack?” He wrinkles his nose. “Are you naming the baby Tweety Bird?”
Eliza sticks out her little tongue in disgust. “That’s a horrible name for a baby!”
“Maybe it looks like Elmer Fudd, like Eliza did when she was born,” Ryan chimes in, licking ketchup off of his thumb.
“Who?” Your daughter glances between the boys, unaware of the joke being made at her expense.
Luke doesn’t hesitate to fill her in. “The weird guy who hunts Bugs Bunny. The one who always goes, ‘ooh, I hate that wabbit!’”
Eliza shoots him a glare that’s equal parts adorable and terrifying. Luckily, she’s easily distracted by her clue.
“For Eliza,” you say as you tug the crinkling Target bag off of the biggest hint of all. Eddie already made sure to open the box and cut any wires attached so your daughter can get right at the twin Baby Alive dolls.
The four-year-old gasps. “Babies!” She holds her arms out as you deliver the box to her.
Little fingers grab onto the first doll, and she gently places it on the table in front to her before removing the second doll. The rest of the family watches in amusement as Eliza covers the baby on the table with a blanket, and cradles the other one in her arms, holding its bottle to its mouth.
“So,” Eddie asks, rubbing his hands together, “what do these gifts have in common?”
The three of them begin to think. At least, you’re pretty sure Eliza is thinking about it. She’s gazing down at the doll in her arms with the most heartwarming compassion.
“There’s two burger patties, two games, two dolls…” Luke muses.
“Wait,” Ryan says, his head perking up as an idea occurs to him. “Is it a girl? Like, two X chromosomes?”
Your husband simply stares at your oldest son for a moment before responding.
“In what world would I be smart enough to come up with that?” he asks.
Luke nods his head in your direction. “Ma is, though. But I think it’s a boy because there’s two of us boys already.”
“Then the hint would have to do with three, genius,” Ryan scoffs.
The younger brother contorts his face and mocks his brother’s words in a high-pitched voice.
“Maybe Mama has two babies in her belly.” Your daughter’s words are spoken with the most casual tone, the majority of her attention on the plastic doll she’s gently rocking to sleep in her arms.
The boys both laugh, Ryan rolling his eyes at what he considers a silly idea from a little girl. The Munson brothers turn to you and Eddie, expecting you to be joining in on the laughter, but all they find are your excited and hopeful faces. The chuckles trail off as the boys pause and consider what those faces mean.
“Wait, you don’t mean…” Ryan starts.
“Oh my GOD!” Luke shouts, banging his hands down on the table in front of him. It rattles the doll Eliza isn’t holding, and she gives her big brother a glare over the disturbance.
“No way!” Ryan stands up, excitement nearly paralyzing him. He doesn’t know what to do except smile as he holds his arms out in front of him awkwardly. “It’s really…twins?!”
“It’s twins!” you confirm. You make an attempt to stand as well, but the two babies inside of you are keeping your center of gravity low enough to make you give up.
“Two babies!” Luke hoots. “This is insane!”
Eddie chuckles, his heart at once light as air and completely full at seeing the excitement of his boys.
“Do you have a picture?” Luke asks.
“The sonogram,” Ryan adds.
“Yeah! Can we see it? Let us see the picture!”
“Do you even know what you’ll be looking at?” Ryan asks as he sits back down next to his brother.
Luke shrugs. “They’ll show us.”
“Okay, okay, here it is,” you say, handing over the image that’s been sitting in your back pocket. “That little spot right there is one baby, and that one right there is the other baby.”
Their stunned faces make you giggle softly as you lean back.
“Oh my God,” Ryan says. “I can’t believe it’s twins.”
“Holy sh—crap, we’re going to have two new siblings.”
“We’re going to need a bigger house,” Ryan says, looking around the room everyone is seated in.
“Wow, there’s going to be a lot of people living here,” Luke says. “Dad, were you going for twins?”
“That’s not how it works, doofus,” Ryan says as Eddie shakes his head in amusement.
Luke scoffs. “Explain it to me then, Mr. SAT.”
Eliza heaves a deep sigh for someone with such a tiny body and small lungs. She sets the baby doll in her arms down on the table next to its sleeping sibling.
“You’re so loud!” she complains.
“Lize, it’s twin babies!” Luke tells her, gently shaking her frame back and forth.
“I know, I know, you keep saying it over and over!”
“Aren’t you excited?” Ryan asks her.
Your daughter shrugs her shoulders once before picking her doll back up and cradling it in the crook of her arm.
“Sure.”
Both boys look to you and Eddie at her lackluster reaction. You give a gentle shake of your head.
“Don’t worry,” you tell them. “It’ll click at some point.”
“Oh, what a day,” you sigh as you slip under the blankets to lay down next to your husband. Eddie lifts his arm, and you immediately cuddle up to his side, resting your head on his shoulder. Your bump nudges his side, and you rub one hand over the soft material of your worn t-shirt. “Makes sense why my bump is more pronounced earlier than it was with Eliza.”
Eddie wraps one arm around your shoulders and brings the other one down to place his hand on top of your own.
“Can't believe there are four of us in this bed,” he says with a light chuckle.
“Daddyyyyy! Mamaaaaaa!”
A four-year-old with wild curls runs into your room and leaps onto the bed, landing at your and Eddie’s feet.
“Make that five of us,” Eddie says.
“You’re supposed to be asleep, Little Miss,” you tell Eliza.
She pushes herself onto her hands and knees in her purple piggy pajamas and quickly crawls up the infinitesimal space between you and her father.
“Careful, careful,” Eddie cautions the closer she gets to your belly.
Eliza halts her ascent and leans back on her heels. Her chocolate brown eyes are as wild as her bedhead is.
“I’m gonna be a big sister to two babies?!”
Across the hall, a chuckle reverberates in Ryan’s chest as he turns to lay on his side in bed.
“There it is.”
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#older!eddie#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fan fic#eddie munson fan fiction#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fic#dad!eddie#eddie munson imagine#AYW#AYWS
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Thoughts on Veilguard so far:
Preface: I’m ~50 hours in with a handful of endgame spoilers.
My general values are: Story > Characters > Gameplay > Romance > Rep > Visuals.
My rating of the previous games: DA2 > DAO > DAI
Spoilers under Cut:
What I expected: Having to deal with an unappealing art style and clunky gameplay with leftover multiplayer and live service era elements that they couldn’t get rid of for the sake of the story and characters.
What I got: Well…
Let’s Start with the negatives:
-Dialogue: I want to know what happened there. Ik for a fact they had veteran BioWare writers on the team and it feels like there was a decision to dumb everything down to the point of me immediately having a line in my head that would sound better in universe every time someone spoke. It proved especially grating once I heard Morrigan speak. And when people compare the writing to MCU I cannot really protest. “Dragon Age has always been unserious” yes but like. Not every other line was a joke or relatable™️ millennial awkwardness . When jokes did happen they became memorable moments for the fandom. It’s often very difficult to listen to. Especially when Rook talks. It is getting marginally better though.
-Tone: Dragon Age has been compelling to me because it wrote conflict and trauma and corruption in a way that felt developed enough to feel grounded and believably horrific. Even with all its faults. DATV mellowed out the horrors and seems to gloss over a lot of sociopolitical dynamics and lore. Stuff like portraying crows as vigilantes and not showing the evils of Tevinter slavery. The tone itself just feels like theyre trying to make an easily marketable sanitized IP out of it to cater to a wider audience.
-Character Writing: A lot of characterization has been “Tell not show” because I’m disappointed in Lucanis and Neve. The story says one is a serious killer and the other is a cynic but both have only been friendly soft and positive which is like??? I feel like a lot of their intro has been cut out or something where they establish those traits on screen. Another thing is: there don’t appear to be actually detestable and controversial traits in characters or even internal conflict they need to overcome. They’re just dealing with some kind of external thing thrust onto them and that is very shallow to me personally.
-Intro: I know we’re not getting Origins style personalized intros again but it felt like too much is handwaived into people making their own OCs and forming headcanons when the game doesn’t let us RP much at all outside identity stuff anyway. Like how do we know Varric? Why should any of the pep talks he gives us mean anything when we haven’t experienced anything to warrant the complements he gives us?
-Villains: possibly the worst part of the story: they lit act like theyre in a preschool cartoon down to body language. No nuance no controversy no actual horror to them when in previous games the evil felt so much more pronounced because some of the villains felt human enough to be a shitty person irl.
-Rep: Sigh. Even as a transmasc I might be a little too internally transphobic for the rep in the game. It feels like so many steps ahead of what the story should be handling. Like fix the slavery problem in a meaningful way then start philosophical gender discussions about what a gender binary even is. And it’s very cringe to me when it’s spoken about in game. Like yeah I love that there’s no way to dispute what the characters are but it also feels so entirely uncreative using modern day terminology for this stuff. And I don’t mean “replace it with ambiguous sad baby talk” but something more. Like is it terrible to want that? Even if you were planning on using the word nonbinary, at least tell us what a binary even is and how it was instituted as an idea into this world. Like I do adore Taash, I just wish the gender stuff wasn’t so clumsy.
-Visuals: It’s hard man. As an artist who sees human bodies as proportion reference points, the bodies still look off to me. Like it was worse and I’m getting used to it but it’s still painful. And I’m all for trying to stylize but this particular heroforge direction was not something I would have picked.
-OST: At first I couldn’t tell Zimmer/Balfe’s stuff apart from Morris’s but yeah, the new stuff is more boring(Sans the Rivain part)
-The 3 choice thing: yeah not a fan of that. I feel like perhaps it was a part of the multiplayer era where they would not be able to import much if everyone had a massively different world state so they limited it to the tiny MC choices. Still sad that the romance thing only really matters if you romanced Solas because the Dorian cameo wasn’t anything to write home about. Kinda feels like they added him in last minute because someone pointed out how much Solas-skewed the choices were. Idk. I so expected Josie in Antiva but alas.
Now Onto the Positives:
-Codices: The very way-too modern simplified conversational dialogue style carries over to the codices. And while I despise that as a creative, I do find myself actually reading them as they come because they are so easy to absorb. I feel like a lot of people would benefit from not skipping them because there are some references and plot reveals worth checking out.
-Story: If you deafen the dialogue style, the story itself is top. Gets way better as you play and from the spoilers I’ve heard, yeah. It’s good. Can’t wait to find out more.
-Gameplay: Listen I have a massive preference for DA style combat even if most ppl call it a slog. The turn based element, the pause button, the hoarding skills I never use. It’s like coming home to me. I hated DAI combat for the amount of anxiety it induced and I usually hate fast-paced action combat in most other games. DATV made me eat my boots. Its combat is insanely fun and engaging and often times I’m looking forward to fights more than quests themselves. Very colorful, very flashy, and very effective. The pause button gives less freedom but it’s there. The combos are fun. It is like Mass Effect except I did not find commanding the companions in Mass Effect as intuitive. Tho I wish non mages had less magicey feeling attacks.
-The CC: Yeah it wowed me with the options. I like how much can be done with the facial sliders and how good the hair looks.
-Puzzles: Listen the puzzles are extremely stupid in this game. But I also am very stupid and lazy when it comes to solving them. I have looked up the vast majority of puzzle solutions for DA games. No more DA2 Fade Barrels and no more trying to circumnavigate the ad infested Fandom Wiki to get to the Kitty’s prison solution. Crafted specifically for me.
-Mechanical Things: The game is optimized insanely well. Both when It comes to your PC and the gameplay. I’m amazed how well it runs on my PC when games like BG3 and Cyberpunk make my CPU scream. Love that. As far as gameplay goes: everything is super streamlined and designed to be as un-annoying as possible. No carry weight, no collectibles as annoying and unrewarding as the shards and mosaics. The maps are easy to parse. The game does not bombard you with useless NPCs, banter can’t be interrupted and characters catch up on banter at the Lighthouse if you’ve been avoiding certain party comps by accident. The quest locator is actually helpful. Skill points can be refunded. Looting is easy and finding shit feels rewarding.
-Characters: Honestly they do have some interesting things going on and while most characters feel a little hollow so far, I was pleasantly surprised by Davrin and Bellara. Davrin is the one I’m romancing and while the actual romance isn’t groundbreaking I’m glad I chose him. Yes, his character has a lot to do with Assan and his arc, but he does have stuff going on of his own. He’s very refreshing because some of the things he says low key both makes you think and also worry about him. He’s also not your usual preppy jock type. He can be a little mean sometimes. He’s artistic and principled. He has some remnants of “opinions I don’t agree with” that I love early DA for. When it comes to Bellara, she absolutely breaks the sort of Manic Pixie/Quirky Awkward young coded girl mold. It is the fact that there is self awareness and hints of history of failure and isolation in her words. There is also masking and over-clarification that I can relate to personally. I hope there is stuff like that to other companions when I get to know them better.
Visuals: the UI and Locations are stunning. The outfits the best the game has had so far(tho wish the overall look was less stylized) The blighted stuff(sans the ogres) and the Crossroads. Beautiful.
-Dwarf Lore: started out as fucking cheesy but I just finished meeting Valta and I’m seated.
-Solas Stuff: Hated the man for a while. Caved and made a solavellan to import to get more story stuff. NGL he is actually tolerable/interesting to me in this game.
Overall: A sickly sweet combo of Disappointed and Impressed. And I’m still gonna be playing. I am used to not liking something about every DA game. That’s part of the fun for me. But damn is this one testing me. Am I having a lot of fun playing it? Absolutely. Am I finding it difficult to get through a concerning amount of dialogue…yeah. It does still feel like a DA game but also like if someone made a pg-13 live action of Inquisition and then made a supplementary game based off that. If I forget that it’s supposed to be a sequel and just treat it like an action game with plot then it’s easier. And like I’m sure at least half of what I listed as a negative can be attributed to EA meddling or prev iterations of the game being inseparable. Anyway. Can’t wait to see the ending and I will add more thoughts when I’m done.
#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age: the veilguard#Veilguard spoilers#BioWare critical#sort of a review
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Okay, so! It's late and I should've been asleep hours ago so I probably won't be writing a fully in-depth/detailed response, but I can offer a little bit of perspective from the writing side of things (as someone with experience in the industry, who's worked on several mobage games)
So, a big part of the plot/story aspect is due to OM being a live service mobage. By the inherent nature of the genre, the story must always be able to continue going (ie: the story can never "end" because then the game itself would end)
This means that the writers will always be limited in how much they are allowed to do, because the story must still be able to continue after the current Lesson/Season/whatever. No matter how big or crazy you want to make the plot in S3, you still have to reel it back in by the end so that S4 can still happen. Status Quo is hugely important for this style of game. Making significant, permanent changes means having to commit to those changes and not revert back, which is risky from a development perspective (if players don't like the change, they may drop the game) but also means that all of your writers are now railroaded into writing within the bounds that this new permanent change has established. It's not that this is impossible, but it's common for management and executives to discourage it.
This is also the reason why it feels like character development never truly "sticks" even though we see the boys learning the same lessons over and over. No matter how many times Levi has a big moment where he learns to be more assertive and believe in himself, he'll be back to his usual characterisation next season. Ditto for Satan's relationship with Lucifer. Lucifer himself will re-learn not to keep secrets from his brothers or take the burden of responsibility alone, over and over again.
If a character is allowed to have an actual conclusion to their personal arc, then that means that their growth is now over. It's satisfying for players because we get to see them struggle, learn, grow, and have an actual conclusion. But the problem is...then what? The story itself still has to continue. And if a character's arc is "over" then that leaves them with much less for the writers to do as the story continues.
Stories need conflict, and the same is true of characters. They need to struggle, they need to learn and grow, otherwise they would be boring. If Satan never struggled with his anger issues or his relationship with Lucifer again after S2, then he would have very little to do in every following Season of the story. All of his personal growth is concluded, so what would there be to focus on? Sure, new struggles and new character arcs could be introduced, but then you start introducing the same narrative hurdles as mentioned above. You especially don't want to fiddle with the characters TOO much, because you'll risk losing that character's stans if their favourite blorbo is irrecoverably changed in a way they don't like.
With this genre of game, it's much preferred to keep the characters as consistent as possible, because you'll be writing these same characters continuously for many many years. OM itself is about to turn 5 years old, and "if it's not broken, don't fix it" is a big aspect that the writers will have drilled into them.
Speaking of the writers themselves, this is the last point I'll touch on for now. While we don't know absolutely everything about Solmare's inner workings as a company (for good reason) we DO know a few things. Mainly:
OM's writers are often split up into many different smaller teams, and will be working on multiple assignments (Main Story, Pop Quiz event stories, Devilgrams, etc) at the same time
It's not entirely uncommon for Solmare to bring in guest writers from outside of the company
Not all of the writers from 2018-2019 are still working at Solmare, and the staff will change regularly as older employees leave and new staff is hired (just like any other company)
Which all means that at any given time, completely different people could be writing the plot between one Lesson and the next. This is generally good for the writers themselves (since delegating the workload in this way is much better than having individual writers taking on far too much on their own) but it also means we get things like inconsistency with the characters, or continuity errors. Communication and management are much harder when you have a large team working on many different assignments at once. This is even more likely to be the case when a guest writer is brought in from outside, because they will be less familiar with the story and characters. (This is how we ended up with Lucifer's controversial "Lady" lyric in "Arcadia" - the songwriter was not a Solmare employee and not a member of the OM writing team)
This is something that happens with all written media, but the more writers you have working on a project means there will just be more chances for things like this to slip through the cracks.
Anyway, sorry to ramble like crazy on your post (and I'm tired so I'm not even sure if everything I said made sense) but hopefully this was at least interesting for some people to read!
i also think that either obm needs better writers OR if it’s not an issue with the writers themselves, that they should start thinking about where they want the game to go. the story is so… disjointed… and messy. with every season, it just feels like the story deteriorates in quality bc nothing is ever at stake + nothing changes. character development and plot points are easily forgotten in favor of having scenes with characters instead (which like i know that’s the main point of the game but … it all feels… cheap?? idk). nothing ever happens in the main storyline and thats just ?? wack
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horrifying development in my education: i spend 4 hours per week looking at one of my profs like this
#IT'S SO BAD. middle aged nerd man i want you#his broken english and crooked nose have bewitched me body and hole. i mean soul. i mean.#genuinely mortifying if i'm being honest having a crush on a professor gets worse the older you get. however. he's cute ...#veni veni#erasmus tag#more on this story as it develops (the moment i get over it i will throw a week long party)
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Anyway prohibitedwish dark medieval mystery drama au. The story is interjected every so often by prismo and scarab arguing over what should happen next
#random thoughts#adventure time#over time scarab learns to accept when things dont go his way (especially when prismo has a very good idea)#and prismo gets help working through his depression through the beauty of creating with another person (euphamism for gay sex lol)#hey prismo why do you want to collab with scarab hmm? to create life with another man? pretty gay it does seem#anyway in the beginning they argue because scarab wants stuff to go his way#and prismo keeps bringing up bad ideas and wanting to put jake-esque characters in everything#prismo is. not very creative#anyway their universe ends up following a sheriff and a self-declared wizard in the late-12th century (so around robin hood times)#as the sheriff hunts down a group of bandits#(prismo ends up really liking the bandits and thinking the sheriff sucks balls for hunting them down and scarab's like you just dont get it)#the self-declared wizard is very much a conman hawking snake oil (i do NOT sound like that is. very commonly interjected by prismo)#there is no magic. prismo keeps trying to put magic in there. scarab keeps shutting him down#scarab ends up trying to kill off the wizard for a dramatic moment and prismo gets upset about it#'it's a tragedy! it's supposed to be sad!' 'but WHAT IS THE POINT??? it's just tragedy for the sake of tragedy!'#'if your plan this whole time was to make me upset then congrats!!! you made everyone's friend prismo upset. im gonna do something else now'#prismo disappears and scarab feels. bad. it doesn't feel good.#eventually prismo comes back in to apologize for getting too into the story and leaving in a huff and shit and surprise!!!#the wizard is still alive! scarab LISTENED and he CONCEDED and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BABEY!!!#now the ending of the story they were trying to tell is more bittersweet instead of a full-on 'everyone's dead or sad' thing#btw the sheriff and the wizard end up kissing and prismo and scarab are both VERY awkward about it#scarab still likes dark edgy stuff but he recognizes the universe he created with prismo is a SHARED project and he's been kind of a pill
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caught up finallyyyy. that shit was FIRE
#ninjago spoilers#im loving the overarching plot even if some of the moment to moment stuff is losing me#in particular the dialogue felt rlly clunky to me a lot of the time w characters justttt. expositing at every chance#but i rlly like sora and arins arcs so far. really really good#arin is maybeeeee leaning a little too Evilllllll for my tastes BUT i do think it makes sense at least#finalllyyyy a good fucking corruption arc#found the kinda... prodigy sora on the stage at the end alone very powerful#it nice to see them growing at different rates and the conflict it might cause#still not sure what wfs deal is yet but i did rlly like her relationship w roby. super cute. they matched each others freak#i miss jayyyyy still but nice that its being built up to#hopefully it pays off nicely bc the 2 secs of it we got to see was... umm. not the bestttt#altho interesting to see now that jays been shattered.#also i assume it just went back to the administration? seemed that ras was done w it#i wonder if jay wld be able to find anything out abt itself if thats the case.....?#i mean youd assume it tried already. butttt u cld say maybe it was under the agency as jay gordon which wld have come up w nothing#UM ANYWAY i do rlly like where the story is going it feels rlly cool and different to have everything developing over time like this#compared to the more contained seasons from before#also just saying. if i was lloyd id straight up kill myself#rlly funny imagining llpyd getting back to the monastery and sighing and replacing kais photo w arins#yes yes. very good. zane saying cringe made my jaw drop#actually ill say i do hate how they r writing zane. but thats been an issue for forever now so wtfeverrrr
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It surprised her that Abelas seemed so entranced by her story. Had she known he enjoyed a story around a crackling fire she would have spent a week developing something truly bone chilling and macabre. Storytelling, though she had not truly practiced her craft in years, was a part of her blood. Even if she felt she could spun up a better tale with more notice, it pleased her to no end that it had impressed–or at the very least hit the mark. “Thank you,” she said, her voice awash with pride and humility all at once. It wasn’t often that people had the opportunity to try and impress someone they admired so much.
As Abelas began to introduce his own tale, Iskra made a show of straightening her back and sitting at the edge of her seat with her hands clasped in excited anticipation. “As long as it’s made up, I’m sure I’ll manage to get at least a few winks of sleep tonight,” Iskra insisted, dragging the end of an index finger over her heart in the shape of an X. It was hard not to smirk in enjoyment as the fire cast an eerie shadow over his features and he began his tale. She did her best to look aghast with horror as she leaned over dramatically to meet his eye from where he peered under Icarus’ leg before she sat back up to maintain eye contact with Abelas. “I’ll be certain to check the bed in the little snail home is done up tight,” she promised.
“My mother used to tell stories like that, ones to scare me off from seeing the world and all it has to offer,” she explained with a thin smile on her face. “To this day, no matter how hot the night air is, I can’t stand to sleep with so much as an arm outside of the flat sheet. But, if somehow a limb slips out tonight, I’ll be sure to call out to the valiant Icarus to help save me from the Foot-Grabber, won’t I?” Iskra noted Abelas’ sudden sense of nervousness and wondered for a moment if perhaps it was better to call it a night or steer the conversation toward something lighter.
“What’s your favorite animal?” she asked, figuring that was a softball of a question, and one that would easily round off the night and leave the suddenly spooked man in a much more peaceful state of mind before they went their separate ways to rest. “Aside from Icarus, obviously… I’ve never been able to choose, but I’ve always been partial to bears… and elephants, though I’ve never seen one in person. But their social systems interest me a lot… They have their own unique customs and practices which are deeply complex compared to many other species.” Of course, Abelas would already know this.
Abelas’s expression grew a touch somber as he listened to Iskra’s story, his eyes wide and unblinking, clearly swept up in every eerie detail she shared. When she finished, he blinked and shook his head with a soft shudder, as if shaking off the story’s grip. He glanced toward the shadows beyond their firelight, then back at her, forcing a small, nervous laugh.
"Gosh, that was..." Abelas cleared his throat, and "haunting," he murmured, trying and failing to sound casual. “Alright, alright, let me try one. But fair warning - it’s, uh, a classic… and definitely very scary and completely made up.” Elvhen rules about lying were so pesky.
He scooted closer to the fire, lowering his voice to a trembling whisper. “Once, in a very remote village - far too small to be on any map - there was a creature known only as the Foot-Grabber. No one knew what it was exactly, but those who’d caught glimpses described it as having large, gleaming eyes and a twisted, skeletal arm just long enough to reach under the bed. It only came out on the darkest, quietest nights, lurking under beds to... grab your feet,” he whispered, stealing a nervous glance under Icarus's big old leg as he lifted the owl bear's limb and looked at Iskra from underneath. “People said you’d hear a faint scratching just after midnight… scratch… scratch… scratch…” As if on cue there was a light scratching sound from the unseen portion of Icarus's big body.
He swallowed hard, pulling his cloak a bit closer as he put Icarus's leg down. “If you were brave enough to peek under the bed, it’d be gone. But if you looked away? That’s when it would grab you. And it’d hang on for life, dragging you down into the shadows, only letting go when you were half-mad with terror. Some folks even swore they’d hear footsteps following them for days after, the phantom grip of the Foot-Grabber never really leaving them.”
Abelas shivered, glancing around nervously, his hand halfway raised to ward off any lurking creatures. He forced a shaky laugh. “Or… so they say. Anyway, maybe, uh, maybe no more stories haha I think that's good...” He cleared his throat, shooting her a sheepish grin, clearly both delighted and a little spooked by his own tale.
#abelas#abelas 01#we can move them into the action in the morning#and when i don't have fever brain#fever brain also said no interesting fantasy animals sorry
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perhaps the reason why aup ended like *that* is because it was not supposed to have a happy ending in the first place, but sayren didnt have the guts to deal with readers' backlash for when they finally kill off the main character so a half baked happy ending is what we get 😔
#for a happy ending of a story to be narratively satisfying the characters gotta actively work hard for it#this happy ending feels empty because quite frankly speaking ludger did nothing to deserve it#he has zero character developments from the beginning to the end and has always been the same#well except for his emotional state getting worse over time#bc instead of making any attempt at all to healthily address it like a mentally mature 40yo adult he let it swallow him whole#(not that im necessarily blaming him but its quite frustrating to see him remain unchanged if aup is meant to be a redemption story)#his OPness is inherent#his genius is inherent#(this is not to say he isnt hardworking / only relying on his inborn talents but the author repeatively failed the 'show dont tell' checks)#(bc it was only implied in the past and we've never truly seen it in the canon present timeline either)#his kindness is inherent#ngl dad!ludger content doesnt appeal to me as much as dad!edgeworth cuz the latter is the fruit of the character's growth and hard labor#while the former is well... its just who he is#usually i love found family content but in aup it bores my mind out bc his interactions w the students + owens are so static & predictable#it was heartwarming at the moment of adoption but later on i find it as tedious as reading generic established romantic relationships#was it because of the lack of tensions and conflicts i wonder#they all became his yes men and no one ever actively challenged his unhealthy mindset or behaviors#anyway id have been more interested if he recognized his biases/favoritism/prejudices towards some certain characters & worked to change it#but welp. that would require character growth which is too much to expect from him ig#he has learnt quite nothing from his journey and tbh aup would ironically feel more meaningful if it ended on a tragic note#ofco i got noblesse'd again 😔#would i kill for aup to have a happy ending? yes#would i rather have a sad ending over the half baked and empty good ending we get? also yes#if it must burn then let the whole world burn. cuz at least it would be more much memorable and impactful that way#and i wouldnt have to feel this disappointed and lose all of my interests in one of my only two beloved aroace MCs in aup </2#rant
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since i'm back in a vox machina headspace, at least for now, i'm looking back at all my old unpublished fic and, a) i may actually post some of these one shots i wasn't brave enough to originally
but more importantly b) for nano 2019 i wrote like 20-30k of a vm ava's demon au, didn't finish it, don't know if i will, but would people be interested in that if i polished it up a bit?
#it's over three years old so i am a bit looking at it and going oh i can write way better now#but also it does still have some great moments and concepts in it i just never posted it bc i hate abandoning works halfway through#and i wanted this to be done or not done#but either way it's still like 30k more than you'd get otherwise so im curious if people would read it#if you're not familiar with ava's demon it's a sci fi/fantasy webcomic with gorgeous art set in the far future#with a bit of horror and themes of identity and anticapitalism#the basic premise is that in order to try and win a losing war against an all powerful galactic empire#several rulers of conquered planets developed a powerful curse - which would kill them in their existing bodies#but bind their souls to the next soul anywhere in the universe to be born#and the doubled souls in one being means great amounts of power#but the story is set 15 years after that#which means it focuses on 4 (and later 7) teenagers who've grown up with angry ghosts in their head all of whom have different motivations#and. well. everyone in vm has an associated god except percy and that's fine he's brought his own
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talking about my ideas for the part 3 rewrite I will never actually do
#okayokayokay heres the thing. im making it so hollys stand disease actually affects all the joestars like we see it affects josuke so#joseph and jotaro are also going through it and giorno too hes like 2 at the time and his mother just thinks its the flu or whatever and#leaves him be. maybe gives him some calpol#anyway.#it's not completely debilatating like it is in canon its more like. uhhh period cramps i guess. like it comes and goes and they get brief#moments of immense pain and a loss of control over their stands#and it gets more frequent the closer they are to dio#anyway so they find the bug in the photo and are like omg egypt... and holly is like im coming too and refuses to stay behind because she'd#do anything for her family. and so her stand develops over the course of the journey same with starplat neither of them are very strong or#consistent at first but they get there#anyway I'm thinking what i want hollys stand to be bc some vines and raspberries is not much to go off#i dont want it to be super combat focused but also i don't want it to be completely support.. im thinking like giornos where its more#versatile#might have to look into raspberries to give me something to go off#also her arcana is the sun because i said so. fuck the actual sun guy no one gives a shit about him#getting sooo excited over this you don't even understand#and the whole story is mostly about the intergenerational relationships in the joestar family because that makes me sick in the head.
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vice versa was so evil for introducing tess and tun and giving us little snippets of their relationship and how it fell to pieces but tun still loved him anyway but kept pushing him away bc he's already been hurt so much and then DOING NOTHING WITH IT, NOT A SINGLE THING
#sorry im still thinking abt those 5 mins ohmnanon were in vice versa#just those few moments were incredible like that little bit of story we got i still think abt it#also the fact that tess and tun didnt even interact in the parallel universe like wtf#in an ideal world vice versa would be abt talaypuen and tesstun#we'd get to see both of them tryna figure out what happened and get back to their original universe and develop their bonds#also i feel like just focusing on 1 couple takes away the fantasy element of the story#like if ur gonna be a fantasy romance be a fantasy romance#seeing both pairs would make that more real imo#anyway whatever im over it#vinnie talks
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While I loved that interaction, that is all we got about something that could be taken as two of the most important (alive) people in Gojo's life mentioning him, thinking of him with fondness, or coming anywhere close to mourning him.
Then we got two pages of resolution of whatever emotional turmoil these two have going on
#And I do love the Megumi and Shoko scene! I do love it! But come on!!!#When I say Gege Akutami is introducing a lot of whatever characters to give them an ending#and then doing nothing in comparison with the main cast I mean this kind of stuff#I get there's five episodes left and a lot of things and characters he wants to give closure to but precisely#There's just five chapters left. When Nanami died there was that short yet heavy scene between Ijichi‚ Shoko and Gojo#in which they mused there was only the three of them left anymore. There's nothing of the sort for Shoko or Ijichi now at the very end#The closest thing we've gotten is that one moment between Megumi and Shoko I just posted#And these dynamics are heavy and they imply very important characters pertaining to the main cast#Yet there's two pages of these two. Not to talk about the rushing of arcs that's been happening in these two last chapters#But if there's going to be truly a second part I think not entirely closed narrative arcs is not as terrible#But not closing 'emotional' arcs? That feels more clumsy to me. I don't think carrying 'emotional' arcs to a second part is as easy#The emotiveness and weight of the dynamics belong to this story. The author could extend on the second part more on idk#Megumi dealing with the loss of Tsumiki or Shoko with loneliness or whatever. For instance#But the very moment of grieving over Tsumiki or Gojo with everything they've been right after their loss with everything their loss means?#It belongs to this story alone. Just like the moment of dealing with Nanami's recent decease belonged to that moment/this story#And I feel the author is not giving at all the main characters almost any time to breath that for now. And idk. It's sad#And it's awkward writing I think. The absence so noticeable#And I feel it's something that can't be as easily done or added or developed later or on another story/part#So the numerous panels of much more secondary characters rushing narrative and emotional arcs for and with them feels to me a weird choice#All while Yuuji just made an offhand comment about Choso. All while Shoko had barely nothing at all. Ijichi and Todo had nothing#The Kamo boy had one panel. Nor Yuta nor Megumi nor Yuuji made any comment about Gojo#Perhaps we could admit those letters and that faint smile of Megumi as closure enough. But it's so weird#The panel proportion between main characters and very secondary characters and what they're being used for. It's weirdly distributed I think#It feels awkward and anticlimactic in a bad way#And it's very much a very clear example of what I meant every time I said JJK had the potential to be amazing and it's just mid haha#*sigh* it is what it is I guess#I don't want a second part at all tbh I hope they're not going with that#I talk too much#JJK spoilers
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Tried to write something Deranged™ and Fucked Up™ and ended up with one character describing at length how excited they are over the idea of listening to their spouse talking about a book they like.
#to be fair. this thing IS still pretty deranged™#like this IS very much a story people will have to be wary of regarding the trigger warnings#but I gotta have people bonding over shared Nerd Interests™#also several key emotional development moments hinge on classical music so there's that#The Fic That's A Lot#the thing is. this is mostly a thought exercise. I wanted to try writing something different than the kinds of things I normally write#and there's a lot of oblique exposure-related stuff tied up in this too that I would rather set myself on fire than fully explain#so it's been. a Process™. even more than writing usually is. I gotta have some easier/more personally familiar kinds of moments in there#just so I actually finish the damn thing#(my God I am so sorry everyone is probably getting SO annoyed about me talking about this and STILL NOT HAVING IT FINISHED when#it's been like 5-6 months)#(<-it's The Condition™)
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How To Make Your Writing Less Stiff 5
Movement
Dredging this back up from way back.
Make sure your characters move, but not too much during heavy dialogue scenes. E.g. two characters sitting and talking—do humans just stare at each other with their arms lifeless and bodies utterly motionless during conversation? No? Then neither should your characters. Make them…
Gesture
Wave
Frown
Laugh
Cross their legs/their arms
Shift around to get comfortable
Pound the table
Roll their eyes
Point
Shrug
Touch their face/their hair
Wring their hands
Pick at their nails
Yawn
Stretch
Sniff/sniffle
Tap their fingers/drum
Bounce their feet
Doodle
Fiddle with buttons or jewelry
Scratch an itch
Touch their weapons/gadgets/phones
Check the time
Get up and sit back down
Move from chair to tabletop
The list goes on.
Bonus points if these are tics that serve to develop your character, like a nervous fiddler, or if one moves a lot and the other doesn’t—what does that say about the both of them? This is where “show don’t tell” really comes into play.
As in, you could say “he’s nervous” or you could show, “He fidgets, constantly glancing at the clock as sweat beads at his temples.”
This site is full of discourse on telling vs showing so I’ll leave it at that.
Epithets
In the Sci-fi WIP that shall never see the light of day, I had a flashback arc for one male character and his relationship with another male character. On top of that, the flashback character was a nameless narrator for Reasons.
Enter the problem: How would you keep track of two male characters, one who you can't name, and the other who does have a name, but you can’t oversaturate the narrative with it? I did a few things.
Nameless Narrator (written in 3rd person limited POV) was the only narrator for the flashback arc. I never switched to the boyfriend’s POV.
Boyfriend had only a couple epithets that could only apply to him, and halfway through their relationship, NN went from describing him as “the other prisoner” to “his cellmate” to “his partner” (which was also a double entendre). NN also switched from using BF’s full name to a nickname both in narration and dialogue.
BF had a title for NN that he used exclusively in dialogue, since BF couldn’t use his given name and NN hadn’t picked a new one for himself.
Every time the subject of the narrative switched, I started a new paragraph so “he” never described either character ambiguously mid-paragraph.
Is this an extreme example? Absolutely, but I pulled it off according to my betas.
The point of all this is this: Epithets shouldn’t just exist to substitute an overused name. Epithets de-personalize the subject if you use them incorrectly. If your narrator is thinking of their lover and describing that person without their name, then the trait they pick to focus on should be something equally important to them. In contrast, if you want to drive home how little a narrator thinks of somebody, using depersonalizing epithets helps sell that disrespect.
Fanfic tends to be the most egregious with soulless epithets like "the black-haired boy" that tell the reader absolutely nothing about how the narrator feels about that black-haired boy, espeically if they're doing so during a highly-emotional moment.
As in, NN and BF had one implied sex scene. Had I said “the other prisoner” that would have completely ruined the mood. He’s so much more than “the other prisoner” at that point in the story. “His partner,” since they were both a combat team and romantically involved, encompassed their entire relationship.
The epithet also changed depending on what mood or how hopeless NN saw their situation. He’d wax and wane over how close he believed them to be for Reasons. NN was a very reserved character who kept BF at a distance, afraid to go “all in” because he knew there was a high chance of BF not surviving this campaign. So NN never used “his lover”.
All to say, epithets carried the subtext of that flashback arc, when I had a character who would not talk about his feelings. I could show you the progression of their relationship through how the epithets changed.
I could show you whenever NN was being a big fat liar about his feelings when he said he's not in love, but his narration gave him away. I could show you the exact moment their relationship shifted from comrades to something more when NN switched mid-paragraph from "his cellmate" to "his partner" and when he took up BF's nickame exclusively in the same scene.
I do the same thing in Eternal Night when Elias, my protagonist, stops referring to Dorian as "it" and "the vampire" instead of his name the moment they collide with a much more dangerous vampire, so jarringly that Elias notices in his own narration—the point of it being so explicit is that this degredation isn't automatic, it's something he has to conciously do, when everyone else in his clan wouldn't think twice about dehumanizing them.
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Any literary device should be used with intent if you want those layers in your work. The curtains are rarely just blue. Whether it’s a simile with a deliberate comparison or an epithet with deliberate connotations, your readers will pick up on the subtext, I promise.
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Types Of Writer’s Block (And How To Fix Them)
1. High inspiration, low motivation. You have so many ideas to write, but you just don’t have the motivation to actually get them down, and even if you can make yourself start writing it you’ll often find yourself getting distracted or disengaged in favour of imagining everything playing out
Try just bullet pointing the ideas you have instead of writing them properly, especially if you won’t remember it afterwards if you don’t. At least you’ll have the ideas ready to use when you have the motivation later on
2. Low inspiration, high motivation. You’re all prepared, you’re so pumped to write, you open your document aaaaand… three hours later, that cursor is still blinking at the top of a blank page
RIP pantsers but this is where plotting wins out; refer back to your plans and figure out where to go from here. You can also use your bullet points from the last point if this is applicable
3. No inspiration, no motivation. You don’t have any ideas, you don’t feel like writing, all in all everything is just sucky when you think about it
Make a deal with yourself; usually when I’m feeling this way I can tell myself “Okay, just write anyway for ten minutes and after that, if you really want to stop, you can stop” and then once my ten minutes is up I’ve often found my flow. Just remember that, if you still don’t want to keep writing after your ten minutes is up, don’t keep writing anyway and break your deal - it’ll be harder to make deals with yourself in future if your brain knows you don’t honour them
4. Can’t bridge the gap. When you’re stuck on this one sentence/paragraph that you just don’t know how to progress through. Until you figure it out, productivity has slowed to a halt
Mark it up, bullet point what you want to happen here, then move on. A lot of people don’t know how to keep writing after skipping a part because they don’t know exactly what happened to lead up to this moment - but you have a general idea just like you do for everything else you’re writing, and that’s enough. Just keep it generic and know you can go back to edit later, at the same time as when you’re filling in the blank. It’ll give editing you a clear purpose, if nothing else
5. Perfectionism and self-doubt. You don’t think your writing is perfect first time, so you struggle to accept that it’s anything better than a total failure. Whether or not you’re aware of the fact that this is an unrealistic standard makes no difference
Perfection is stagnant. If you write the perfect story, which would require you to turn a good story into something objective rather than subjective, then after that you’d never write again, because nothing will ever meet that standard again. That or you would only ever write the same kind of stories over and over, never growing or developing as a writer. If you’re looking back on your writing and saying “This is so bad, I hate it”, that’s generally a good thing; it means you’ve grown and improved. Maybe your current writing isn’t bad, if just matched your skill level at the time, and since then you’re able to maintain a higher standard since you’ve learned more about your craft as time went on
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God I forgot how good Pokemon Sun and Moon were.
The like. background alolan sovereignty stuff and the frankly startlingly sensitive discussion of child abuse and the way they entertwine? Team Skull being kids failed by the system, and that social ill giving room for the Aether Foundation to sort of push its way in and establish a hold in Alola to "do good"? The fact that the stuff the Aether Foundation is doing is really good work from a certain perspective, but is also disruptive, controlling, and not in alignment with the Alolan way of doing things? Guzma being abused as a kid, and ending up pushed around and manipulated by Lusamine, an abuser herself, who knows how to push his buttons?
The whole subplot of looking for a champion, which probably would've been Kukui or Guzma if their own hero and rival story hadn't been shattered by the stuff that happened to them? Guy whose dad broke golf sticks over him develops a perfectionist obsessed with being strong enough that nobody can beat him again, and constantly proves to himself he's safe by throwing that strength around? The way their relationship starts to repair when those societal problems start to be addressed?
And then Gladion and Lillie. God. The way Gladion is the older child who figured out what was happening first and got out of there, went no contact, and had to do what he could to stay off the street. The way Lillie is just starting to figure out and unpack the things her mother taught her, and beginning to become braver and show more independence? How her fucking mother DRESSED HER UP AS THE NIHILEGO, and then her big moment is to put together her own trainer-like outfit, to start picking her own clothes?? The way Lusamine treats her pokemon with zero humanity but pretties up and preserves them horrifically for show, the way the Aether Foundation is engaging in torturous unethical experimentation, as metaphors for the way she abuses each of her children???
The ways in which Guzma, Gladion, and Lillie all bond with Pokemon that sort of symbolically resonate with the kinds of abuse they received and the way they learned to deal with it--Guzma picking bugs, traditionally the weakest type, and Wimpod who runs from everything--showing the kindness deep down in him, and the way he grew up to be strong. Gladion, whose pokemon was more overtly abused, and evolves through his care into Silvally who can take on any type the way Gladion is forced to learn how to adapt to being by himself, and then to being a member of the community? And Lillie with Nebby, who starts out weak and defenseless, helpless, imprisoned, and escapes despite that and gets by through relying on other people, until she learns to take care of herself--and her buddy evolves into the legendary that defends the Alola Region from alien threats like her mother????
fuck that game was good. it fit so well with the themes and aesthetics of pokemon. I really wish they'd make more like it.
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