#and i wouldnt have to feel this disappointed and lose all of my interests in one of my only two beloved aroace MCs in aup Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[aroacettorney]

perhaps the reason why aup ended like *that* is because it was not supposed to have a happy ending in the first place, but sayren didnt have the guts to deal with readers' backlash for when they finally kill off the main character so a half baked happy ending is what we get 😔

[narwhalandchill]

(soo ignition teaser thoughts ig)

hmmmm im ngl the trailer itself as a like prelude to what is coming in 5.0 intrigue and plot wise is like. compared to the region teasers that came before w lazzo and overture. its just. its kinda bad im sorry KWKJKWDJKWDJK like okay cool seeing the new cast and production value is high as always (+ music) but its such a middling teaser for the story itself?? it feels like a powerpoint presentation of the cast more than anything narratively coherent with an inherent draw and mystery

like theres mavuika speaking to the flame thingy (xbalanque that u? "one entombed in the primal fire" perhaps????) with some intrigue i suppose as well as her brief thing w capitano. ororon also appearing to be working together or aligned with capitano given theyre standing together there which could make for an interesting plot thread but beyond that its very.... eh. its not giving us a lot to grip onto ya know???? and thats rly a shame especially since i also felt that way abt the teaser in the 4.8 livestream. i wish we got more

and sure theres a tournament wahoo but like. its really Not helping to hype up that thing when half the introduced cast isnt being like "OMG the tournament!!!!1!1 this is HUGE!!!1" (or even. "oh no this is BAD!!!1" to set up basic conflict. like why would they dread it?) but instead just. "oh right... the tournament 🙄🙄" like who thought that was a good idea 😭😭 if the PEOPLE of natlan dgaf abt the big plot event happening then how am i as the viewer supposed to feel majorly invested in it . wow theyre tossing a ball around . wow nobody wants it guess ur tournament is having a bit of a PR issue in the making mavuika lmao

anyway i wouldnt even call myself a true capitano glazer despite being a fatuiHQ enjoyer on the side but like. that hmph still carried welcome capHIMpeaktano truly o7 JWDJWDJKDWJK also did yall see the. anemo-ish turquoise flare when mavuika is confronting (?) him? wonder if thats a thing with her flames or is it implying cap as anemo or sth.... i think itd fit him decent enough but ya. looking forward to HIM for sure

(+ congrats to him for losing the goofy timbs from arles animated short lmao like his design looks so fucking sick now)

character design wise uhhhh. well theres the obvious huge fucking issue here and while id say that hoyo p much already showed their true colors on the matter with sumeru that doesnt rly. make it any less disappointing and egregious wrt all the cultures and peoples theyre So willing to gather inspiration from in all possible aspects Other than the diversity of the people themselves. like its just... bad and such a shame but also not very surprising unfortunately.

(and really it just. looks especially bad given they clearly Can put melanin on people its just... enemy mobs only.)

beyond that i kind of dont have anyone that super catches my eye rn??? mainly because . well leaks moment eek but its basically official info now so basically. xilonens existence as a geo and a 5* (which like . u dont need leaks to guess she will be im sorry jdwjdw) was leaked a bit ago as well as the patch she should appear meaning. im actually in chiori rerun savings mode since its very high chance that she will be back w xilonen if anyone. so thats my plan for now kjdwjkdwjkdwjk

in terms of the actual cast i do like kinich and ororons designs v much, the design motifs of the latter especially are interesting bc those eye-like patterns are almost giving quantum symbol (= black hole imagery) to me???? and thats V interesting especially if hes actually working w capitano and the fatui. now him being a cat boy or whatever animals ears those turn out to be isnt like sth thats huge for Me personally but i do think hes valid and also W for anyone whos into that, congrats guys im happy for u ! but like fr itd be such an insane twist if hoyos Finally introducing the void quantum abyss whatever element w him (and maybe cap too.) bc that symbol Rly is looking Curious. or then hes just electro lol. for kinich its like. yeah fair he might be xiao-tighnari-gaming from minecraft ill admit that but. i do like the color scheme and his outfit a lot JKWJKDJKDWJKD so like i forgive it

w the girlies i overall find them all like. quite nice but so far without any personality + lore known its hard to settle my complete thoughts on them just yet. tho citlali being pink is super refreshing for genshin since we do have a shocking absence of it so like shes definitely one im drawn to, chasca looks interesting and like she could play a bigger part plot wise (maybe?) so that might be neat. both her and citlali being cryo is kinda surprising?? but cool. maybe ill get to unbench my shenhe and play some cryo teams again lmao freeze has been dead in abyss for so long now....

xilonen again w the kemomimi isnt sth im particularly into or not into but she looks cool, depending on personality and how her kit synergies turn out (+ assuming the chiori rerun, the fate of those pulls too), i might try for her as well? theres an Energy to her i like it. if she has proper Attitude and flair thats gonna be a massive bonus for me

mualani i think is rather bland to me, sth about her outfit and design just doesnt click for me even if the shark thing from the teaser before is neat and everything. the chibis are never sth im actively drawn to but like both do look okay, im kinda hoping kachina could be a lynette moment for 5.x and end up a free 4* since her exploration roomba looks p fun

anyway then theres. mavuika and i. well at least the design wasnt. That concept art one (ThoseWhoKnow...) . so instant massive W improvement solely on that basis holy fucking shit but ehhhhh im sorry i still dont know how to feel abt the very modern like. biker bodysuit thingy. im not a huge fan of the bodysuit type designs anyway so its not that surprising but still. her eyes + hair is absolutely stunning tho like not a question at all.

tbh in a way i kinda feel like having too many Thoughts on her design is kinda just unnecessary bc like. shes the archon. of Course the kit is going to be insane so i will get her anyway (UNLESS a pyro onfielder JKWJKJKWJKWJKWFKJ like god please no). and in terms of like is her design and energy from what this vid is giving us good enough that i wont like. Actively resent having to get her for meta and strong teams??? Absolutely. so in that sense ig its all cool lmao

but yeah. idk i just think as a teaser for the upcoming story its rly a shame how weak this felt for me???? like sure overture ended up being a bit of a misleading teaser since it gave the impression of arle as this mastermind of the fontaine AQ which didnt rly happen but it still served as a source of hype and intrigue. and yes lazzo is sth that can Never rly be beat in terms of how out of nowhere it was and how fucking insane the whole harbinger reveal went (+ elogia cinerosa existing) for lore and long term hype but its just. unfortunately those 2 are the regional teasers this natlan one is supposedly meant to parallel and it just didnt deliver anything comparable to those for me

like still looking forward to natlan and seeing the rest of its cast (like im fairly convinced the flame thingy might be xbalanque and hes gonna be a big deal ultimately or sth) and where it goes and all its environments but this trailer didnt rly. grip me the way i wouldve expected it to. which is unfortunate kdjkdwjkwjkdwj but yea thats all

[demadogs]

Hi! So I left byler tumblr after the fiasco that was volume 2 and I just kinda came back, and I see that you and everyone seem to be back on thinking byler is 100% endgame? Can you explain me what happened, and why are people still hopeful after mike's monologue?

sure! i literally just scrolled all the way down to my posts in early july to see what we were all thinking and wow it was a rollercoaster. good call just dipping out and coming back when we were back on our bullshit lmao.

so after volume two came out i think all of our initial reaction was sadness or anger but it was also a lot of confusion. i was so beyond confused at first especially when i got to the last scene and they framed all the couples and byler like that. after looking at my first posts after volume 2 i was pretty doubtful it would happen but i kept on thinking about the closet framed kiss. that was the number one thing that kept me wondering bc WHY would they do that if hes not in the closet.

about a week later was the first time i saw something that really made me think differently and it was actually from a mlvn shippers perspective. idk if this was anybody elses true “wait a damn minute” moment but for me it totally was. it was an anon sent to a byler blog from a nonbyler shipper who was rooting for mlvn (one of the respectful, normal ones) and they were basically saying they dont understand why all the bylers are so sad thinking they got queerbaited when to them, again someone who was rooting for mlvn not byler, the fact that the monologue seemed like a copy/paste of wills speech in the van only made then lose hope in mlvn bc it didnt seem sincere. that was so wild to me.

what brought us back to confidence in byler was mostly just us stepping away from the initial shock and disappointment of the monologue and remembering all the things that originally made us confident in byler endgame. i posted this towards the end of july where i just list almost everything that i held onto, not really as sources of evidence, but just genuine questions of what the hell the purpose of all of them were if not for byler endgame. most queerbaiting is just little things they could get away with but with byler the show would have genuine plotholes if they didnt go through with it. none of mike wheelers actions post s2 make sense if hes not in the closet.

i think overall it was pretty slow to get us all back to the point of 100% certainty of byler endgame tho. now i never see anyone saying they have doubts but all summer that was basically everyones posts going back and forth and i dont blame them. i used to hate the monologue and genuienly think it was a mistake but now i think with the potential of mike getting vecna’d and called out for him lying to el, especially with “friends dont lie” being such a huge part of the show, it could pay off so well. and that one anon was right, he was basically restating what will said in the van not knowing that that was wills feelings not els. now i realize its a perfect use of the miscommunication trope.

also just the fact that the tag on here grew tremendously. i think we had around 8k before volume 2 and now we have 300k. hundreds of thousands of people didnt care enough about byler to follow it on here but after volume 2 they realized something was up? thats very telling. i think a lot of people who believed in byler before volume 2 lost hope when they saw the monologue but for people who werent byler shippers, thats the scene that made them believe it was actually happening, which is pretty interesting.

but yeah i wouldnt say there was one specific thing like an interview or script that made us all confident again, it was just slowly remembering everything from previous seasons and the reassurance that one scene does not erase all of mikes questionable actions or all of their suspicious filming choices from earlier seasons.

[hanniehq]

Hey so I don’t know what the fuck I should do… my irl friends aren’t standing briize but other Kpop groups and I can’t really find solace in them.. I mean obviously they think the whole situation is fucking disgusting and just pure evil of the fake ass fans and SM and so on. But I am just so so devastated right now. I am a briize since debut and went trough the whole scandal hiatus etc etc. so to hear the new of him coming back had me so ecstatic but also nervous due to the backlash it would get. Here we fucking are 2 days later losing him. I’m just conflicted now.. like I’ve lost interest? I know it’s a big thing to say so suddenly. But for almost a year I had hope for Seunghan to come back and hear the news of him finally reunited with the other member at least just hear his fucking voice again. To wait that long and get your hopes up for them to crash down immediately. I love Riize I really do love Riize. The music the dancing the content. But I just .. am I betraying riize if I kinda wanna leave the fandom? or take a break? Even at their lowest point in their career? I have been here for long and then for me (many?) to leave when they probably need support the most

If you don’t wanna answer to this, feel free to ignore. We all are hurting and we all cope in different ways.

hey anon i totally get what ur saying :((

i too have been a predebut fan and seunghan was my first bias…. i was able to stay strong and like riize peacefully over the 10 months he was gone cus i had so much faith that he’d be back. now knowing its official i dont even know how to feel. angry? annoyed? sad? im still processing it honestly…idk how long its gonna take me to accept that theyre going on seperate paths now

these past two days have just been crazy, im so fucking disappointed and disgusted that their hate overpowered our love

and yeah!! i love riize so so much i wouldnt have stayed this long if i didnt but now it just feels so different. i think a big part of why i feel this way is being a part of fandom that doesnt give a shit abt the members wellbeing like not even their favourite, like im sorry we couldnt protect u riize fuck

i want to support them so bad but i dont know how long itll take for me to accept this if i ever do.

i dont think its betraying them at all… im just gonna follow the flow of my emotions over time i dont want to make any decisions now. i think taking a break and calming down from this is what we all need to do☹️☹️ sending u and everyone else virtual hugs anon 🫂🤍

[abvfluxing]

Several months ago i told my roommate i wasnt interested in looking at a new place to live, bcus at the time i figured there was a good chance i wouldnt still be living in ohio in the next several months to year. (I never told her why i didnt want to look at new places thankfully). Bcus i thot things were going to keep moving in a positive way with him. Very stupid of me.

I waited 6 months on two things. "Idk how I feel " and "we will meet in person". 6 fucking months of waiting patiently.

And when i finally bring up the first thing i get "well i don't think i feel that way... but who knows what the future holds". Wtf. half a year and you still cant say it decisively. I tried so hard to take that as a definitive response and move on, but it wasnt and i couldnt. Bcus im an idiot.

After the first cancelled meeting i waited. Then a second cancelled meeting. And he says "well im not going out of my way looking to pick up trips to go that way, itll happen when it happens". I keep waiting. One day i try to sincerely explain how much its hurting me to wait to meet like this, and how much I want to take the initiative and plan a trip to his city. And how worried i am about the whole "flight school" on the horizon since its going to most likely alter his schedule in such a way that him and i will have so little free time at the same time. And how that scares me bcus it feels like the first step to losing him completely. And this is another reason im pushing to make a meeting happen.

So Making it very very clear that i only would want for one small simple meeting, like a lunch, and that if thats all i got with him that would be enough bcus i also just really want to travel somewhere and see things jve never seen and that taking a plane by myself is a very scary thing, but if im going somehwere where i know a friend is on the otherside it gives me the strength to do something so extreme for myself, i mean im someone that gets stressed and anxious just trying to go to a store or run errands. He says "no, i cant guarantee it would work out to meet, and i dont want you to spend all that money and be disappointed" also "im not out to my family so itd be comllicated to have you over as anything other than a friend". First of all, im not even allowed to try and make something happen. 2nd with weeks ahead of time anybody can plan for a single lunch to happen once out of 2 or 3 days possible. 3rd it must not matter how important it is to me, to be able to try and do something like this, how little i expect how little commitment im asking for it, how unobtrusive im trying to be but also experience something. It doesnt matter. 4th, what the fuck is that second excuse coming from? I didnt ask to meet your family, i didnt ask to come over to a family dinner and ve introduced as your boyfriend. How is that a concern when ive made it clear none of that is expected? (Well stupid ass me thinks only someone thinking of doing those things would randomly bring them up when they were not previously stated). 5thly, if you had a job that would literally PAY you to go and visit your alleged "best friend" ... wouldnt you kinda fucking want to do that? Wouldnt that be cool as shit? If i could get paid to visit some of my friends, i think maybe i might try and make that happen every once in a while. So he wont take a paid trip to see me, and im not allowed to pay for my own trip to him. Kinda really sounds like "i dont want to meet you". Only took this dumbass about 8 months to realize that one.

The last couple of weeks ive been trying to act "normal ". Im not messaging him everyday, even tho i want to. And it fucking hurts me. And idk how he feels about it, or if hes even noticed. Not like he would ever really tell me the truth anyway. So im an idiot and an asshole.

I can't even get him to say something as simple as "i want to spend time with you" i tried so hard one night to see if he could even say that much, it didnt work. Bcus im an idiot.

We had two big fights recently too. The one everyone could see where he made it clear he thinks im stupid as shit. And then a second one a few days later while in a discord call. He was upsetting me so much i had to hang up on him before i blew a gasket. Then i explained to him why i got so upset and his response was "wow you got upset over someone elses opinions". He was going to let the night end like that. Soni explained further why I was so upset. And he said something like "ok". And i had to be like "do i even get an apology?" (After i had already apologized for hanging up and getting upset, earlier in the convo). And only then did he finally give a half assed barely covering the problem apology. But I took it and rejoined the call after calming down a bit more. Once again i was being stupid and an ass.

Ever since those two fights i feel like i get treated like shit all the time. Like he is mad at me about stuff but cant even remotely bring it up outside of treating me like shit. But then the one day he streams its all "this is the game brad recommended for me, he knows me so well" blah blah blah. And weirdly nice replies sometimes. Like clearly something is up. But more likely im just an idiot.

He was trying to talk to me the other day, just a couple days after my "worst day" of the very very bad past two weeks. I told him "sorry i havent been feeling well". Him "oh are you sick. Me "well not like cough cough sick". Him " then what is it?". Me "its hard to say out loud". Him "oh ok".

And that was it. No reassurance, no "im here", no "i understand but you can talk to me if itd help". Nothing. Is that really how someone responds to their "best friend" clearly not being well? Its hard for me to tell bcus im so stupid.

And then the announcement earlier. Came with no warning to me. Last i heard he hadnt heard back from any places. And hours before he posted that he asked what I was doing, and i was playing totk amd watching gdq with the roommate. Not really a good time for him and i to play a game together that would take the main tv in the living room. So he said ok have fun. And i said "if you want to hang out in a call thatd be cool". Him "well id have to go in the other room, ill just stay in the living its more comfortable". Me "ok well lmk if you figure out how to use discord in the living room and id be down to hang out". Him "id either have to wear headphones and not hear the game or put you on speaker and youd hear my game. Which is so annoying". Me "i normally use headphone and just leave one ear uncovered to hear the game. Also so when my games have been too loud". Him "its mostly my friend nate 'blah blah blah" convo ends. And a couple hours later we get that announcement.

Hes got his next two months planned out basically. One month of "working back to back" which contains two weeks off, one of which an international vacation! Lmao. Followed by starting school the next month. two weeks before my birthday! How perfect! I messaged him and told him im happy to hear that he finally heard back from a place. And that im happy for him. But im also so fucking pissed. Ive told him how this school thing coming worries me, and he makes a group post instead of telling his "best friend" first. Isnt that fucked up? Once again im being treated like shit. And hes able to have two weeks off in june, including an 8 day international vacation. But i get "ill try to stream for those other days". Somebody you said "we will meet eventually" and you cant make room for me after all this time before turning your whole lifes schedule around making it so you know we wont be able to hang out anymore. So clearly im a huge fucking asshole for having such selfish fucking thots when all i should have thot was "oh yay good for you!". But hey thats what you get when your a stupid worthless ashole am i right? 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆

[meomoonymonstar]

Things I would change in tgt

Alina would be a lesbian. Not bi or pan, personally i see as lesbian. And yes, zoya would be the love interest, the endgame, the soulmate!!!

Mal would be Alina's brother and protector. He would care for her and be there to support the main character, humanizing alina. And still, there could be tension, he doesnt want to lose her to grisha and they argue, as siblings do. But that would be his role.

Also mal would not be the amplifier and suddenly have a real role in the main plot. He's okay being a supportive character. Aleksander would be the amplifier. He's a morozova and an amplifier, it's right there. Also alina having to kill him to destroy the fold and killing him making her lose her power (killing part of her) would be poetic.

Genya would have not crossed Aleksander. She would be a radical supporter of him and his cause and she wouldnt settle with sending the king away. She would refuse to be just a victim, ruined by him. She would truly become ruination for him and his. But her heart would still be there and seeing Alina hurt or suffer at the hands of the darkling would cause conflict on her. Was she letting another powerful man abuse his power? Was she part of the problem this time? Conflict, development.

Zoya would be colder and meaner. Not simply a spoiled bitch to other women for being a pick me girl. She would be arrogant -- a flaw that mess with her high position. She would want to be The Darkling's favorite, a high ranked soldier, a leader. Someone to be feared and respected, never doubted. That would make her highly obedient until they were hunting Alina. The jealousy she felt for seeing Alina become someone people wanted to follow as a Saint and being sceptic of Alina's potential as a savior would make Zoya question why she was gone from the little palace. The whole family thing being her turning point could still work, but I'd make her have some questions about Aleksander's leadership first. Otherwise it just sounds like she was on board with anything the darkling did but once it affected her directly then she was against it and it does not make her look consistent at all. Is she just a soldier or does she have ambition to be more?

Zoya would lead the second army by Alina's request in s&s. I mean, if we used only characters known, it would be better to have someone who had experience by Aleksander's side, serving him and knowing his tricks. Alina leading the second army was a mess and it's explicitly told how she doesn't know what she's doing. She just want numbers to stop Aleksander without knowing what to do with them. Let Zoya grow as a leader, grow as a character that has to work with others too and prepare her for being the official general in KoS, as well as being the right hand to the new king.

This would also develop zoyalinas relationship!!!

But if you want zoyalai it would work too, because nikolai and zoya would have to actual develop a little bit of their relationship in the original trilogy, which wouldn't make kos and row feel so rushed and would give us some context on how it was when they started to work together.

Nikolai would be taken as hostage by Aleksander for information. (I didn't read the books on the right order, I read kos first and then tgt, so I was very curious what the darkling had done to nikolai during the civil war. I thought he had Nikolai in a dungeon, in shackles and with medieval instruments. Imagine my disappointment when I read he turned into a buff batman.) They are enemies with the same goal: lead the country and fix it. Aleksander wants Grisha to be safer. Nikolai wants to save the country from his family. So much potential for there being tension and resentment. Aleksander taking his frustration on the prince, using him as a weapon against Alina. The darkling isn't just Alina's enemy and opposite, he's a man with extreme ways that wants to steal Nikolai's (also) stolen throne and yet we never see the two of them truly see or address each other as enemies. Nikolai is just a side piece for the game between alina and the darkling.

This is just a few personal ideas. I could keep going but I'm okay with this. I'm sure everyone has their own version of fixing things

[bloodycassian]

Azriel x Reader - Trying. 

TW- DEPRESSION//sadness - Thank you anon for this request. I have struggled with Dysthymia for almost my whole life. It felt good to write this little piece of representation. 

Nothing but a ghost. Like the two wraiths that waited to serve you at your command. The wraiths that had nothing to do. Granted, they had tried pushing food on you, or books or paints or whatever other form of entertainment or sustenance but you ignored them. Knowing that if you had put up the fight to say anything you may lose your control completely and break down. You could let the time pass, numbly without a care. It was better than having to deal with the reality of not being alive at all.

  Rhysand had set you up in a beautiful room in the house of wind after the village attack. You could see the entire city below and the ocean beyond. It did nothing for you. If he was hoping for some kind of gratitude he didn't show it. He simply explained the house would provide if needed and that he would check in weekly. You were surprised he wasnt asking for more - that he wasnt going to try to get any information from you about Hybern's forces on the continent. After months of war you had become numb to the idea of peace. It never seemed like an option anymore. Perhaps the two generals he had brought with him to save your village had gotten all the information they needed.

  Weeks of sleeping later and you felt your eyes getting heavy again while looking out to the Sidra. The bright city below seemed buzzing with excitement about the upcoming summer solstice. You couldn't wait until you could go to bed. The tower of books on the table beside you casted a shadow over your feet, then your legs, up to your arms. Until finally, it was dark on the balcony, the stars above twinkling like the white caps on the ocean. Dread twisted in your gut, and you slowly got up, letting your body adjust to the change. Dark spots edged in around your vision.

  You could feel the chasm open inside you. The pit of loneliness - the empty void of demons waiting to take you as soon as you dropped your guard. The head rush from getting up made you want to vomit. The acid in your stomach churned, burning up to your throat. Fasting for so long would make Rhysand force your hand to eat, you knew. But you couldn't bring yourself to even try. You felt weighted, like there was a tired blanket over your being and you couldn't get it off no matter how hard you tried. The demons pulled at you.

The pain was good though, a solid reminder of why you would not eat. Why you could not eat. You did not deserve such a pleasure. You doubted you could stomach anything more than crackers anyway after weeks of fasting. Rhysand was not subtle with his advances of trying to get you to try food when he visited. The smell of some of the treats he brought made you gag at times. Your stomach howled at you now though.

  The knock on the door didnt surprise you. It was time for the high lord's weekly visit where you would tell him everything was fine and you didnt need anything. And he would try to get through your shields, and there would be a flash of disappointment on his face at the obsidian stone you would slam down on him. Then he would leave. And you could let the sting of that disappointment burn you alive until you were on the bed sobbing.

  "Enter, your highness." You smiled to yourself slightly, knowing the title would bother him. The voice that came once the door opened made you whip around. Not Rhys. "Actually..." The spymaster. The general that had guarded your village while the other barreled through the enemy lines. "Rhys was busy. He sent me instead." He stood in the doorway, tentatively.

  "Oh.." You felt your cheeks go red at the embarrassment of him seeing you like this. From the defender of your village to..what? A tired being that craved nothing more than to simply not exist anymore? "What is he doing?" You asked out of courtesy only. You were used to the high lord seeing your mess of a room, but Azriel was.. different for some reason. You walked over to the bed and kicked the sheets under the frame. Attempting to tidy up even slightly. The rest of the room was a mess of clothes and empty containers, drink cups. Nerves made your heart race.

"Nightmares?" He asked, stepping inside and closing the oak door behind him. He leaned on it, arms crossed over his chest. His simple tunic seemed to eat the light in the room, not reflecting a thing.

  Your face burned. You felt your eyes sting. Clearing your throat you nodded, folding your arms over your middle. Your ribs seemed to jut out more now that he was watching you. You watched him, as his shadows snaked around his shoulders and curled around his ear. They searched the room. You sighed, going to the closet beside him -ignoring the mirror mounted there- and pulling out a folding chair. You placed it next to your own, facing out to the starry sky. You sat in the familiar padded chair, leaning on the arm rest. The half cup of cold tea next to the book tower rattled slightly on its plate as he approached. A bubble of tranquil quiet seemed to encapsulate the area. A feeling you recognized as relief flowed through your bones. You felt the tension in your body fade slightly. You breathed a bit easier, like he was taking a weight off your chest.

He sat next to you for a long while before he spoke. "I used to hate night time." His voice was level. You tore your eyes away from the most interesting spot on the floor where you were thinking of nothing to look at him.

  He kept his eyes out to the balcony, a cool wind gusting through. His wings were folded in tight behind him, the shadows coiling over everything in the room. The trees below sighed at the caress of the breeze. The night seemed to finally speak as he spoke. He brought his hands together in front of him, rubbing over the scarred texture there. "I would hear absolutely everything in that basement. I could tell when night fell, even without windows. I could hear the beasts hunting outside, or my bastard father getting drunk and-" His hands clenched, and you thought you heard his teeth grind together. "He was a cruel male. To everyone, even my half brothers."

  A shudder rippled through you. You wondered what he had done to Azriel, if his father was cruel to his more beloved children. They had forced him into that basement, even when they knew first hand how Illyrians craved the sky. He knew of total darkness and silence - of pain that seemed to stretch on without end. He knew loneliness, he was locked up with it for the first part of his life. His shadows circled around your ankles like a cat, like they recognized you. Your voice was little more than a whisper as you spoke. "I dont even know whats wrong with me." You were relieved your tears didnt spill over. They pricked your eyes but you blinked them away.

He was quiet, taking in the information. "I didnt either until I found out what a shadow singer is." He paused, glancing at you as you tucked your legs up under yourself. "It dosent mean anything is wrong, it just means you need help sometimes. To figure out exactly what you need." He stood from the chair and flexed his wings, the shadows collecting around him like a puddle.

  He held a hand out to you, patient even while you considered. Getting out of the chair seemed like so much work with such a tired body. Tired soul, tired spirit. Anything beyond existence seemed like a complete burden. But his hand there, waiting, unwavering. Challenging. it made you sigh and finally, stiffly get out of the chair that housed you. The chair that had sucked you in, prisoned you for months.

His smile was stunning. His dark eyes seemed to light up. He led you on to the balcony and leaned over the railing. The pines far below rustled with the breeze. You swore you could hear the Sidra as well, bubbling with the current over the rocks. "How did you get out?" You asked, your eyes locking into his. He looked at you without sorrow, no fear or judgement lurked there. Just that half smile that had stayed since you stood from that chair.

"I was.. released by my father, but I still had to battle the darkness that I had learned. It wasn't until I met Rhysand and his mother that I began to... cope." He contemplated for a moment, his wings moving slightly with the wind that came through. "I'm familiar with what you're feeling. I ask that you try. I can come back again if you'd like." He left it as an open ended question, not as a demand or promise.

  "Just try? You're not gonna make a checklist for me?" You mocked, he just shook his head. "I think I would like that." You answered. At least he wouldnt pester you as much as the high lord did. At least he could bring this feeling of relief to your bones. He nodded, and the shadows seemed to spike, receding from the room and joining him, wrapping around his body and melding him with the night. "I'll be back tomorrow, then." He said simply, raising himself on to the balcony railing with ease.

  You nodded, wringing your hands with nerves as you watched him flare his wings, preparing to fly. "Dont let the bed eat you, Rhys wouldn't be happy if I had to break more of his furniture." He said over his shoulder with a wink. You felt a fleeting smile come to your lips as he jumped, wings catching him as he glided on the wind. You made a note to yourself to ask what other furniture he had ruined.

  He disappeared quickly, the shadows and the comfy bubble of silence gone. When you closed the door to the balcony and turned back to your chair, there was a plate of crackers and fruit waiting there. Your stomach rolled at the thought. Instead, you went to the closet, putting his chair away. You made a mental note to get a different seating option for him, to accommodate the wings. Knowing he was coming back, you saved yourself the future embarrassment and began picking up your clothes, putting them into the corner bin where they disappeared. You didnt pause long enough to check to see if the clothes were reappearing clean in the closet, you just kept cleaning. Trusting the house to understand you were in fact, trying. You dared not pause, knowing if you stopped there wouldn't be a beginning again.

  You went as far as requesting a mop and bucket from the Wraiths. They were wide eyes with shock at your room, at your abruptness. But they said nothing about it, just bringing you the items you requested and then some. Naula snuck in a plate of meat and cheese, leaving it next to the crackers on the end table now that there was more room with the book pile cleaned up.

  You requested the extra chair. They promised it would be in the room by morning. You made your bed, and once you were satisfied with the shining floors you stood back to admire your work. It looked like a different space, clutter gone and the books organized again. You had given the cups the Cerridwen before they left, thanking them both.

You went to your chair, hesitant to sit. The wear marks on the arm rests and the seat were apparent. Instead, picked up the plate of fruit and crackers and took it to the bench at the end of the bed, picking at the more neutral fruit as you went. A spark of something bloomed in your chest at the thought of Azriel coming back. Of what his reaction would be at the clean look of your room. You dared to hope that he would notice at all. Something told you though that he would consider this trying. He made it sound so easy.

  The bed welcomed you, clean sheets caressing your legs as you fell into the most peaceful sleep you had in a long while.

[colorlesschristmastree]

RE: SJM's bad writing:

I'm still fuming about the fact that Rhys started as a villain and has the power to manipulate other people's thoughts and feelings... And SJM did nothing interesting with that.

I hoped Acosf to be the book where after Rhys keeps info about her pregnancy and health from her, Feyre realizes that he's not a "feminist king", that she literally does not "always have a choice", that she is not "his equal" and that he has manipulated her feelings so far, and any time Feyre had shielded herself was because he'd let her to.

Like, maybe she'd get free of his mental control thanks to Nesta's new, undefined powers or something. And from there she just realizes everything. That he's not a kind Lord, that he wasn't able to help the Illyrians in how many centuries? And that he has no interest in doing it now (which is quite obvious). That he assaulted her repeatedly UTM. That people follow him because they are either magically manipulated or physically intimidated and threatened. That he made a suicide pact with her (so fuckin' toxic), and after her death in childbirth would have left his Court without a leader because he SUCKS AS A LORD.

It would have been SO COOL.

Instead we get Rhys threatening to kill Nesta for telling Feyre the truth and no one batting an eye at that. We get Feyre being upset for half a second and then act like nothing happened. We get Feyre almost dying because of him. We get Nesta losing her powers to save all three of them... But not before changing her own anatomy to make sure she can bear Cassian's children.

We get talks of him becoming High King, because of course.

SJM is a terrible writer.

Yeaaahhh i don’t really agree with you on a lot of this but I do think evil Feysand would’ve been cool. But Rhys never was a villain and his change in acomaf wasn’t retconning (imo), I reread the first book recently and his character was always there.

But anon you sound kinda silly, I don’t know why you would think or want SJM to take the main ship/couple of the series and make it so that it was just mind control the whole time.. that’s just not reasonable and she’s never been that kind of writer, your disappointment was kinda unfounded.

And I don’t agree that it’s obvious that Rhys doesn’t want to help the illyrians, mind you he was TRAPPED under the mountain for fifty years, and the rest of the IC was in Velaris and couldn’t leave. Any female illyrians who were clipped during that time cannot be blamed on Rhys and the IC because they literally weren’t there. Plus many Illyrians literally sided with amarantha, if Rhys didn’t care about them he wouldn’t have intervened and took care of all the rogue bands during those three months after UTM.

The illyrians just spent 5 decades without any control or influence from Rhys. Rhysand was UTM before emerie was even born. And some of the things you suggested wouldnt have been changed in acosf, you can’t change canon that drastically without it seeming weird. My post was about how she could have been more creative with writing a story for Nesta and Elain. Tbh idk why you’d send this ask, I’m a very pro ic and Feyre blog so I can’t really agree with anything you said except that SJM isnt a good writer and has been lacking creativity with her plot lines in the acotar series.

[queer-enderdragon]

I need a break from A Thing i was doing so!! time to join this hermitblr trend that i thought was really funny-

Ranking hermits (personas) by how much i want to fight them :>

Mumbo: a total spoon, but contrary to popular belief i suspect he's actually quite beefy, so i could just go all in and bite first before he has the opportunity to think how to defend himself 9/10

Xisuma: he definitely has some muscle under all that armor, and i could definitely try but.... he's very sweet and could cry if he told me he was disappointed on me qwq 1/10

Grian: this man is basically me but with a red jumper and enough energy to actually do proyects, but i relax listening to Justice's album cross slowed. We both have an ace under the sleeve, and it could be very interesting to see what comes out of the fight 9/10

Joe: He's definitely not a good fighter, but before i could even touch him he would probably distract me with history facts or just talking about anything really. he knows how to tell a story and i really like hearing him talk 6/10

Impulse: Im going to chase and beat him up until he goes the fuck to rest, like my man what the fuck do you mean you changed the color of your base again?? 11/10

Bdubs: This dude is the definition of feral and always carries knifes with him, even if i wanted i cannot do much against him and my only hope is to run to the nearest jungle 3/10

Cubfan: If i ever in my life get the chance to even try defeat mister cub-invincible-fan 135 vex, i will take it with no regard of my own well-being and do my best. but i feel he'll go easy on me anyway u.u 135/10

Zedaph: If i try fight him i think i will have a 50/50 chance of winning, but if either of us gets distracted once we'll probably forget we were fighting and just play around on his cave of contraptions.... 8/10

TFC: This man needs peace, not a fight. besides, he's a good dude and i respect him too much to even ask for one 4/10

Iskall: Yeah, i know he was basically a hitman at one point, but we all know he can fall in the same trap twice. if i go fast enough maybe i can make him trip and leave him in the floor a few seconds 8/10

Stress: She once carried a whole giant pumkin with one single strength potion yall... she might be sweet but shes basically funtional feral. I'll lose in the fight but i would be totally worth it 10/10

Etho: he'll either beat me in the funkiest way possible without touching me or i wouldnt even see him coming and i'll be already in the floor 10/10

Xb: He's very chill and i bet it would be a very fun fight 8/10

Scar: I emotionally cannot fight him. he's just so sweet, i cant..... and also he has vex, i literally cannot go againt those little bastards 7/10

False: It would be an honour to fight her. I would possibly not win at the end but i'll enjoy having my ass beaten by her 111/10

Keralis: As long he's not wearing that damn skin he always used in decked out or is under water, i'll happily beat him up with my "go to h*rny jail" bat n_n /lh 7/10

Cleo: she'll destroy me with words, besides... how the hell do you beat up a corpse 8/10

Jevin: honestly i dont wanna fight him, just,,, poke him a bit to see what sound his slime does 6?/10

Ren: the fight would be so damn theatrical and fun, i would enjoy every second of it 10/10

Doc: he may have fought a god and won, but im very reckless and want to see if i can with the challenge 8/10

Tango: he used ravagers for a game he made alone in minecraft vanilla, i wont fight this man unless if its with my "get the fuck to rest" bat like impulse 7/10

[eztria]

trollhunters: rott and overall toa thoughts

decided to write down what i think of the movie and the series as a whole after watching rott

toby domzalski

first of all, i am so unspeakably sad that toby remained a comedy relief character until it was time for him to die. i really hoped he would get his time to shine but not like this. the death scene was definitely amazingly done and im glad that at the very least rott had a scene that showed the audience just how important tody’s friendship was to jim.

on that note tho, im sad that no one seemed to realize that toby was gone??? it was only after jim realized what happened that he was the first to desperately search for him. i get that toby has the strongest ties to jim but??? claire??? AAARRRGGHH??? they were also close with toby but even after seeing him take the car they didnt immediately shift their focus to him after finding jim???

i really wished we got more serious moments with him through all the toa series. i feel like after trollhunters (although he was also a comic relief there, but id say there was more to him back then), he became the designated comic relief and it makes him such a 2-dimensional character.

jim lake jr

jim is one of my favorite protagonists ever in any show, so seeing him struggle through all the series was always an emotional rollercoaster. i appreciate what rott was going for, the “he doesnt need the armor/amulet, hes always been a hero” sentiment but... the movie gives him the amulet back in the same scene in which he says it. i was severely disappointed when it happened, im not gonna lie. the scene would have been way more impactful if jim defeated bellroc by himself when they were stripped out of magic, instead of suddenly getting a power-up and besting her in combat. if jim didnt get the amulet right then the message of “i always was a hero, with the amulet or without” would have actually hit way harder. we see jim struggle about being just human and lacking the power to hold his own ground in a fight through the whole movie and him suddenly besting bellroc with the amulet is just. underwhelming. i think he should have gotten the amulet after the fight, so we still could have the whole time travel shenanigans thing happen, but def not when he got it. 

and on the topic of the time travel, what the fuck did they do to jim. like????? hello????? this. in Not. the same jim lake jr who went into the darklands all by himself so his friends wouldnt get killed/hurt. this is Not the same jim who refused to burden his mother with what he had to deal with as a trollhunter. the fact that he makes a concious choice to have toby pick up the trollhunter amulet????? is so out of character for him???? especially since he experienced all the struggles, the hurt, the trauma himself. i Refuse to believe he would ever have his best friend relive the hell he has been through all those years. especially since only He has the knowledge of the past??? how does he think this is going to play out??

not to mention that, by having the amulet choose toby, it means that the whole fate/destiny aspect of jim being chosen is out of the window. i didnt like how much the series leaned into it already, because im not a fan of stories which support the concept of “destiny/fate” but that ending really just confirm that jim was never the chosen one, he was just lucky to get the amulet first, because it could have been literally anyone. and im not trying to say that toby would not be a great trollhunter himself, i just mean that if toby can also be chosen instead of jim, the whole speech about destiny is kind of a lie.

claire nuñez

this isn’t really a criticism about her character, but more of how she has been treated by the narrative. im glad that claire gets to do more in this movie and that she keeps an active role (despite being spent in critical points to prevent her from solving problems). i really wish claire was more than Just jims love interest once they got together tho. i wish she was first and foremost his friend instead of his girlfriend, although that might be just my personal pet peeve of narratives putting romantic relationships above platonic ones. i felt it was really a shame that her wish for jim was to “find her and try until she falls in love with him again”. like i get that it was a sweet scene and sentiment overall but all i could think of was shouldnt she be freaking out that her friends and family are possibly dead because of the destruction of the whole town??? she could have been helping people evacuate and then join the fight.

the steve palchuk problem

ive seen a lot of people talk about this, but yeah the mpreg plot was really unnecessary. its really weird and it made me very uncomfortable considering both aja and steve are like. supposedly 18? in rott. this whole plot point not only feels like it takes up time that could have been better spent, but it also kinda portrays aja as a really bad partner to steve. like. you’re telling me she never really told him how this works??? like, ignoring how stupid and arbitrary the 7th kiss thing is, considering that she knows how kissing works for humans, she Should have told him about the possible consequences of it. i get that she was on akiridion-5 but is there really no way for her to communicate with him, considering that krel stayed on earth??? i dont remember if there was any communication mentioned, but if it was, that makes aja even worse in this context, honestly. they did my girl so dirty.

(on a quick note tho, i do like how aja was reluctant to follow jim. she’s a queen now and her priority will always be the safety of people surrounding her so her sentiment of “you can do the risky thing But my ships are still showing up either way” was really nice and i actually liked that she kinda went against jim and questioned him.)

with the mpreg steve plotline also comes the fact that eli is barely in this movie. we literally only get to see him to see that he has a growth spurt and then to have him deliver the babies. i really wish we could have gotten more about eli himself, maybe see how his relationship with aja developed into a friendship??? or the good old eli-steve friendship after a long time of being apart.

anticlimactic deaths/losses

nomura’s death scene was so fast and we didn’t even really linger on its impact, which honestly was. really disappointing. strickler was also done really dirty by being killed off nearly immediately after the reveal of his engagement with barbara. at the very least we got a scene of the lakes mourning him.

nari’s death served a purpose. they sacrificed herself to kill skrael. i did like how much it impacted douxie, but after the deaths, the characters are not really mentioned again until the very end when jim decides to time travel.

archie being left behind felt kind of forced and i wish he stayed in the story if only so douxie didnt have to lose two people close to him on the same day. we also never mention him again which... okay.

this is the finale... where is everyone, what is happening

is barbara just stranded in the castle now??? where is nana?? the changeling babies??? notenrique and claire’s family??? the trolls from the troll market??? this whole movie just felt rushed, honestly. we never were told how barbara and strickler got to the castle and we never even got to witness them see jim in the human form for the first time too. i honestly think this movie should have just been a series. it has enough action to stretch it out and we could have had more scenes that were about finishing arcs for characters and lingering on the consequences of certain deaths. its not a bad movie in itself, but it does not feel like a proper finale to the toa series, especially with the last 5 minutes of rott. im kind of disappointed, but at the same time we p much got an open ending so everyone can go wild with their interpretations/speculations.

[everythingsinred]

ask game for gakuen alice! 1, 6, and 25

OOOh im so excited to be asked about ga <3

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

i guess i'm not really a multi-shipper so i only ship natsume and mikan with each other. ive never really been able to ship mikan with anybody else even tho a few times i have tried to open myself to the idea of multishipping (pretty much in any fandom tbh)... it just never clicked with me. so i dont really ship hotaru or ruka with mikan at all. its not necessarily that i dont get it as much as its just not really my thing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

i dont really think so? for ga specifically, the stuff i hate i wouldnt ever like no matter how much fandom i saw of it (like. despite the fact that ive seen the existence of way too many persona x mikan and even persona x natsume fanfics on ffn theres no way id ever be able to stop hating stuff like that lmao). there's ships i was okay with but started to really love because of fandom though, like hotaruka!

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

DONT GET ME STARTED MLMFBSHDUFID

i generally dislike the entire final arc (ill get to that in my essays if anyone is interested) bc the main four have unresolved character arcs. like. all four of them. have unfinished character arcs. ALL OF THEM. and stuff that was set up from the very start was abandoned?? for some reason?? it all feels really pointless, but its hard to see just how unsatisfying it is bc youre crying the whole time. like i didnt get that i disliked the whole final arc for a while bc it was so emotional. it was easy to dislike the last couple chapters bc it was so rushed but the whole last arc was a bit of a let down as well, and when i looked at it without the emotion attached, i realized just how incomplete the story is. in general i think ga has some masterful storytelling, so having it end in such a lackluster way, when so many things were brilliantly set up, is pretty disappointing.

so yeah i WOULD change it. not to get too into details, but mikan shouldve been able to save natsume with her nullification alice. if she still lost all her alice with that then even better (i wouldnt necessarily change that). her losing her memories is something that couldve been used more narratively bc it wasnt used to its full potential. hotaru shouldve promised to find mikan again, the exact reverse of how the story started, with hotaru running after mikan instead of the other way around. ruka shouldve been involved in saving natsume somehow, bc his arc abt being a burden to his best friend is left hanging wide open otherwise.

oof but me saying "should" is very bold... these are just ideas that i feel would suit the rest of the story and complete the character arcs. if the arcs were completed in other ways that would be nice too, but having them completed is important to me.

thank u so much for asking me all this... sorry my last answer is so long!

if you wanna send me a salty ask, feel free!

[theunconcernedembalmer]

what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

[mieczyhale]

@itsallaboutcalum : “yeah i gotta say i agree. like. i love the show so much BECAUSE of the umbrella academy. the og seven mean the world to me. season two was okay. it could have been better in my opinion but i didn’t dislike it. the new season though………. i don’t want new characters. i want the focus to be on the original seven like please??? my gosh but they erased ben and i’m kinda irked by it”

ALL OF THIS THOUGH

(okay further rambling thoughts on this below bc my reply got kinda outta hand sdk;lsd)

.

 i’m so glad i’m not the only person with these takes bc honestly it was really starting to feel like it. everyone else seems SO excited about the sparrows and i just.. could not care less if i tried. the only new character they brought in for s2 that i felt worked really well, and that i loved, was ray (and carmichael, but he at least exists in the comics. and they fucked him up anyway -  letting the handler eat him instead of five. a weird thing to be salty about maybe but here we are)

you add in too many characters and you lose track of the original, you stop giving them and their story lines the attention they deserve (s2, imo, proved that) and because of those things you’re more likely to forget what the characters are supposed to be like, and what made them lovable in the first place. s1 did so well for so many reasons but among them was: pacing, character introductions and development, creative story lines woven together in a way that brought everyone together seamlessly for the events of ep10. it never felt like one character was getting more attention than another, even with the apocalypse centered around vanya it never felt like she was the only main character.

s2, and maybe this is just me, but it really said “fuck everything from s1, and we’re mixing powers around, and this is about vanya, and another apocalypse that was unnecessary for the dallas story line, and we’re gonna take all the things people loved about s1 and kill it with fire including ben - simply for shock value and to bring in the sparrows but we could have had the sparrows without rekiling ben but oh well! - all the dysfunction and genuine humanity in the characters?? mostly gone. the fan fave, klaus?? here’s a comedic shell that looks like him. trauma who?? everyone is fixed!! oh and here’s the soundtrack! none of it means anything.” yknow. to list a few of my problems with it dont get me wrong! it had its good moments and stuff. but it wasn’t even remotely on the same level as the first season 

and i’m keeping my expectations for s3 dirt low right now because of it. s1 was so perfect of course my expectations for s2 were high. and then the trailer for s2 looked amazing but it was.. meh. just so upsettingly meh. im not going through that level of disappointment again lmao it took me quite awhile to convince myself it was actually good and that i loved it, so i wouldnt have to feel like i wasted my time and energy, but i simply Can Not anymore. not with the stuff they’ve posted about s3 so far. its just sparrow shit.

where are our babies?? our fucked up umbrella family?? give us more of the characters we know, love, and care about or get the fuck out of my face. you can’t like.. sideline your main characters for newbies and expect that to work out. if we dont get og hargreeves family content soon (GOOD og hargreeves family content) i can guarantee im gonna lose even more interest in tua. and i hate that! so much! bc s1 and the hargreeves live in my heart rent free, they’re so important and special to me, and it feels like s3 is gonna be the same as s2: a huge disservice to both the characters and the fans

[greenhatsinthesky]

lockdown film no. 35 - Thelma & Louise (1991) dir. Ridley Scott

15/05/2020

This was my first time seeing this film — I’d never seen it before, didn’t know what happened even though apparently everyone knows the end, all I knew was that it was a sort of buddy movie and it won best picture in ’91. I was very excited and good god I was not disappointed

- “you a little young to be smoking? it lowers your sex drive” *lights up*

- the premise of this feels a little like American honey. Terrible home life for one of the main characters and she just runs away 

- I literally always forget how fit Susan Sarandon is. Who gave her the right

- the south scares the absolute shit out of me. however, I would love to go dancing in a country bar as long as I wasn’t hate crimed

- the scene with thelma and Harlan was well done in the sense that I felt physically sick watching it. Also I was glad that it didn’t get to the point where he actually raped her, and we got small details like him kicking her feet wider because that added to a real horrible sense of dread and we know that he would have done it if Louise hadn’t come in with the gun. 

- “I’m in deep shit, Jimmy, Deep Shit, Arkansas.”

- I love the fact that thelma just had her entire suitcase with her while she was sunbathing. Also appreciated the details in that scene like her scuffed feet and the bruises on her knees because it was super consistent with what we’d seen so far. And I don’t like it when things are shiny especially in stuff like this

- good god brad Pitt is so sexy in this

- can’t cope with the guy doing curls when their car was getting filled up

- “How come you never told me about what happened to you in Texas?!” TRAUMA BABIE

- a really big part of me wants to be brad Pitt’s character in this. I want to be a polite cowboy who helps women realise they deserve more than they think they do. Maybe not the mass shoplifting and stealing vast amounts of money from said women, but

- geena Davis and brad Pitt’s chemistry was… impeccable. They acted the scenes they had together so well and even their sex scene was almost endearing because when jd was kissing down thelma’s stomach she said “wait” and he did and he rested his chin on her and they just looked at each for a bit before launching into that whole bit and even something as small as that made the whole thing feel like the both of them were really into what was going on

- when we realised that jd had taken their money it was one of the more heartbreaking moments in the film, cos he seemed legit. It was quite funny actually, when that reveal happened my mum said “it’s bad that he took all their money, but at least he gave thelma a good time. And that’s important”. We ended up having an unexpected but nice discussion on the importance of women’s pleasure

- watching thelma rob the store was easily one of the most entertaining things, and it was ace to see her character develop over the course of the film

- “there’s no such thing as justifiable robbery” “where’d you get this?” “stole it”

- i loved how thelma just said “ok” when Louise said that she wasn’t talking about Texas. She told her to drop it and she did and just said “it’s ok”. She didn’t apologise for asking because then it puts something on Louise to forgive her 

- the hold up with the police officer was one of the politest things id ever seen and it wasn’t out of either of their characters at this point. Thelma was more confident and probably drunk and basically channelling jd at this point and Louise was the one following her lead so it was an almost complete role reversal from the beginning which I loved

- acab apart from Harvey keitel

- the way that their appearances changed throughout the film was so interesting. At the start Thelma was kind of frothy and buzzy and gradually she became almost hardened by all that had happened but she didn’t lose the essence of her character. Her hair changed and her face seemed to get darker and almost more weathered but not in a way that beat her down, in a way that made her stronger. And louise looked different as well — they both picked up memorabilia on the way so by the end they’re both wearing hats from the people who have hurt them and Louise has the cop’s sunglasses. She changes as well but she also learns from thelma in a way that we wouldn’t have expected her to at the beginning of the film. The final lorry driver scene had this in that they were playing off each other and Louise was remembering how thelma handled the nazi police officer

- the locations were spectacular

- i guess one of the things that this films about is how much people can stand until they can’t stand it anymore. The recurring theme of the god awful truck driver is a really good example of this because the first two times they see him, first they yell at him, then they ignore him because they’re on the run from the law, and then when they meet him again they blow up his truck because it was too much. he’d gone too far every time, it wasn’t like the last time was any worse than the times before, but this time they’d decided they couldn’t let him pass them by

- it was a really nice bit of comedic relief having the guy on the bike and the “oh my god he’s a nazi” police officer

- the car chase in this is one of the better ones id seen. And the shot of all the cars following them from high up? i’m absolutely reeling

- i nearly shit myself when they almost drove right over the edge and then the helicopter came up. 

- oh my god speaking of the hats they blew off both their heads when the helicopter came up and they didn’t put them back on ! In that moment they’re stripped of any of the armour they’ve gathered over the course of what’s happened and it’s just them without any of the other stuff so they’re the most vulnerable we’ve seen them for a while

- when I first saw it I really wasn’t expecting the end and it still hit me a lot second time round. Nearly welled up a bit at the bit where Harvey keitel was running after their car in slow motion

- I was just talking to my mum about this and we both thought it was interesting how the story so easily could have been the sexual assault, and while the story wouldnt go the way that it would if Harlan hadn't almost raped thelma, the story doesn't become the trauma, it’s so much more layered than that

- i love this film. Im really glad it gets clout and im pleased that there can be films directed by men that are about women and that are done really really well. Please watch it

[arthurflecksgirl]

Hi sweety!🥰 could you please develope a prompt where x reader goes to Arthur's apartment for a coffee (they're only friends maybe?) and then she forgot her sweater (🥺) by him. so the next day he goes to her apartment to bring the sweater back to her. And idk if you want to add some cuddles or a cold weather and a warm tea🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much

Oh sweetheart, your request warmed my heart and it was so much fun to write it.  You know I have a weakness for sweater stories when it comes to our sweet Artie.Thank you so much. I really really hope you like it.

Pressing that elevator button felt different, knowing that you wouldnt go into your own apartment but ringing the bell on Arthur`s door. You knew each other since you moved into this building a few months ago but it took you weeks to finally make the first move and talk to him.

Arthur was a very shy man with intense eyes and a beautiful smile, which was hiding so much pain. You could tell from the way he was making jokes that he was sad. He was the kind of person who wanted to make others happy because he couldnt find happiness himself. Observing his loneliness made you sad. It hurt you to see that a wonderful man like him was all alone. Every since his mother was commited to Arkham state hospital he lived a lonely life in his dark apartment. Sometimes you could hear him laugh through the walls. It was a different kind of laughter, almost like he was in pain. One day he started laughing out of the blue and he handed this card to you, which said something about a condition. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he was too shy to interact with people. You have never seen him with someone else. Being his only friend felt special. Thats what you were. Friends. At least you thought so. Arthur never showed any kind of interest in being more than that. He was always very friendly, awkwardly shy and incredibly sad. Even when he was funny. Especially ehen he was funny.

You walked down the halls with a racing heart. You fell hard for this beautiful, sad soul. Just the thought of meeting up with him for a coffee made your knees weak. If only he knew if you were in love with him. But how could you vere tell him without risking his freindship? Maybe he prefered to be alone. Arthur always seemed like he could be scared away easily and you didnt wanted to. Just sitting beside him on his couch, feeling his presence was a gift. You could never risk to lose that.

Meeting up for a coffee after work was something you used to do pretty often now. Sometimes he would take you to the donut shop, even though he never ate one, but this time he invited you to come over to his place. Which felt so much more intimate.

You took a deep breath as you rang the doorbell.

"Coming" Arturs soft voice sounded like he was already smiling.

He opened the door. His brown curls matched his worn out chestnut sweater. A cigarette was tugged between his thin lips. He looked tired but his natural beauty was almost hurtful.

"Hi Y/N." his smile exposed his crooked tooth, which reminded you of how many nights you yearned for him to kiss you.

"Hey Arthur. I`m sorry I´m a bit late. I had to work longer today. "

"Its fine. I mean...I won`t go anywhere. I`m....here..." for a brief moment there was an awkward silence between the two of you. Then he turned around "Sit down...I mean....." he ran his fingers through his hair, appearently nervous ".....make yourself at home. I`ll make some coffee."

He headed into the kitchen while you sat down on the couch and took off your sweater.It was cold outside.Gotham city wasnt very pleasent during wintertime. The cold easily managed to get to your bones.

It was the 3rd time you every sat here. The fabric was old and faded, yellow and blue pillows decorated the corners. Along with  flowery and green sheets. Everything smelled like him. The scent of passion and romance. You always imagined Arthur to be a very romantic lover. The thought of that made you blush while he came back from the kitchen to hand you a hot cup of coffee.

"I`m sorry I only have these self made Murray Franklin show cups to offer you. Kinda embarassing." He took a sip of his own cup which looked exactly like yours , except for the handwritten letters looking a bit more shaky.

You turned the cup in yor hands "I think thats pretty sweet actually. Making your own cups of your fave tv show".

Arthurs eyes pierced you while he took another sip. The color of his eyes was everything.

"Yeah?"

"Sure!"

"You`re the only one who thinks so" he lit himself another cig and took a deep drag. His eyelids fluttered for a second. Details. details everywhere. Arthur was like a museum of details.

"My mother thought it was stupid. She said it reminds her of the fact that we dont even have enough money to buy the real cup."

You gave him a serious look "No, I really think its a creative thing to do. You are a creative guy."

His face lighted up "You think i´m crative? "

"Sure. You do write your own jokes, right?"

"Mhhh hmmmm, yeah"

"See? Very creative."

"Maybe I am" Arthurs left leg started bouncing and you caught yourself thinking how nice it would be to place your hand on his knee and make it stop by calming him down. You imagined how the fabric of his blue pants would feel under your fingertips. Or his naked skin...

Arthur sat close beside you, yet not close enough for his knee or arm to touch yours. You thought about how you could possibly touch him by accident. Feeling the fabcric of his clothes or his bare skin stroking yours was all you could think about.

He put the cup back on the table and looked at you in a way he never did before. His eyes focused you without blinking. Like the shyness within him was gone for a brief moment. You tried to mirror his stare, but it was impossible to look into his eyes without fighting  the urge to grab his face and kiss him. So you focused on the curl that was dancing in his neck instead. Not a good idea as well. Looking at this vulnerable part of his body only made you yearn for more.

You caught yourself looking away, which made you hate yourself. How could you possibly turn your head away when he was finally looking at you like that?

"You`re a party clown right?"

Arthur finally blinked "Yeah."

"I`d love to see some of your acts some day"

"I also do stand up comedy. Maybe you`ll come to Pogos when I perform next week?"

"Ohh Arthur, I would love that" and all of te sudden your hand was resting on his thigh. Arthurs muscles twitched under your soft touch. Like he wasnt used to being touched at all.

His smile said more than a thousand words "Wow, thats great news. I would love to see you in the audience. I will try to give my best performance for you. You know what Y/N? I´m gonna write a joke especially for you. Would you like that?"

Your hand was still on his leg. Touching him was magical. Like your hand was always supposed to be there. You nodded. Unable to say a word.

He looked at the back of yor hand like he couldnt belive that someone was actually resting his hand on him. You could tell from his eyes how touch starved he was.

All of the sudden Arthur got up. Your hand falling off his leg felt wrong.

"So I think I better work on that jokes now." he mumbled while he headed to his desk.

Right now? You felt the disappointment rising in your heart. He wanted you to leave?

"They better be good if you`re gonna be a part of the audience!" he added.

"Okay Arthur. It was nice to have a coffee with you. Im sure your new jokes will turn out incredibly funny.""

He smiled his sweetest smile while he grabbed the pen, looking like he was already about to concentrate.

"You know, I wrote this joke last night but I havent figured out the punchline yet. Punshlines are important. And facial expessions. I feel like I always get them wrong. And I have to look into peoples eyes more often."

"Sounds like a great plan, Arthur. "

"Thank you Y/N. I`m trying. I really do."

"I know"

"I want my stand ups to be good enough for the big clubs." he pressed his journal to his chest.

"I`m sure some day you will be well known. Everyone will  know the name Arthur Fleck and think of a grea comedian".

You noticed his eyes watering as he walked you to the door "Even kids?"

"Sure?"

"That would be sweet"

You wrapped his arms around him as you said our goodbyes "So, I`ll see you next week at Pogos?" he asked.

"Definitely!"

Your hug felt a little too tight for being just friends and you hoped he didnt noticed.

It felt a little too long too, but you couldnt help but trying to get a nose full of the smell of his soft curls.

Arthur looked after you before he closed the door behind him.

You walked down the hallway to get to your own apartment and immediately missed him.

Twenty minutes later you found yourself lying on your bed, realizing that you forgot your sweater on his couch. Should you gt over and  get it? You decited not to. He porobably was working on his jokes right now and you didnt wanted to bother him. So instead of visiting him one more time you just disappeared under the blanket and dreamed of him for the rest of the night.

The next day felt like a fever dream. Fantasizing about Arthurs lips and hands for the whole night left you with a strange feeling in your chest. Was it wrong to think of him that way? You thought about your sweater and how it was lying in Arthurs apartment for the whole night. You wondered if he left it lying on the couch and if he was still sleeping on the couch now that Penny was at the hospital? You couldnt concentrate while working at all. Your beautiful neighbor filled your mind with so many questions and daydreams. Daydreaming about him became something that helped you to get through the day. Just thinking of him chuckeling made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, like nothing could harm you anymore.

This man was magic.

And you wanted him so bad.

Somehow the day passed by like every day does and you found yourself alone in the bathroom, looking at the mirror, wondering if you were even his type of girl. You had no idea in what kinda girls he was into.

And just as you started wondering someone knocked at your door. Was it possible...?

You nervously hurried up to open it.

It was him.

Arthur was standing in front of you, holding your sweater in his hands.

"Hi Y/N. I dont know if you noticed but... you forgot your sweater yesterday and I didnt wanted to bother you and...."

"Ohhh Arthur. Thats so sweet of you. Yeah I noticed. Thank you."

You could swear that he was about to blush.

"You wanna come in?"

Arthur nodded while he stumbled through your door.

"Make yourself comfy, I am right back" you smiled as he sat down in the living room.

You disappeared in the bathroom, pressing your face into your sweater to see if it smelled differently. It did. There was a hint of Arthurs cologne on it. His flowery shampoo and the smell of smoke. Your sweater smelled like him.

You buried your face deeper into the fabric and breathed in.

It was your piece of clothing but it felt like it was his. Breathing in the scent that was so him was the most intimate moment of your entire life. Was that what it feels like to fall asleep in his arms? To cuddle with him on the couch while watching his fave comedy shows on the screen? Was that what he smelled like under his clothes? His bare skin? Was that the scent that would surrowd you while making love to him?

Your thoughts went all over the place while you rubbed the fabric against your blushing cheeks.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

Arthurs voice woke you from your daydreams "Oh, yeah sure. Just got to use the bathroom. I´ll be right back"

"Okay! "

A minute later you sat beside him on the couch, the sweater still in your hands.

Arthur stared at it. His hands lay on his lap while he played with his own fingers.

"I have to admit something" he said "It`s so embarrassing. I dont even know how to tell you...."

"You can tell me anything, Arthur"

"There is a stain on your sweater now. It was me. I`m so sorry. I ruined it. Its face paint. I still got it on  my fingers after I cleaned my brushes. " he showed you the spots where he stained it.

Traces of him.

This somehow made you very emotional.

Its was his sweater now.

Through and through.

"Thats okay, Arthur. Dont worry. I dont mind."

"Really?" he seemed surprised.

"I dont mind at all !"

He shrug "Well there is another thing.... after I noticed you forgot your sweater on my couch... there was a reason I didnt came over to hand it to you last night. Its so embarrassing, oh my god..."

You giggled "Okay? Why didnt you?"

"I....put it on" Arthur buried his face in his hands "Sorry, dont hate me. Please. I put your sweater on and I slept in it." His legs started to bounce.

You coudlnt belive what you just heard. That was the cutest thing you could have imagined.

"Arthur,really? You slept in my sweater?"

He exposed his face.

"I know...I know....its...I`m sorry. Now you must think I`m a total freak or a stalker or something." He looked down on the floor, way too shy to look you in the eyes while he started to bite his nails.

"Actually I think thats pretty cute." you chuckled. The blood was rushing to your face. This man really got under your skin.

"What? Are...are you serious? You´re not mad at me? You dont think i´m a freak?"

"I could never think you`re a freak. I´m glad you told me. Now I`m going to tell you something much more embarrassing, okay? So you see that you are not the only one."

Arthur gave you an insecure look "Okay?"

"When I was at the bathroom before, I sniffed my sweater because I hoped it would smell like your apartment."

"I`m sorry if it smells like smoke now."

"Noooo not because of that! I wanted it to smell like... you!"

Arthurs eyes filled with love "You mean...."

You nodded as your eyes watered "I`m in love with you ever since I saw you for the first time. I just didnt knew how to tell you."

Arthur fell into your arms "Me too Y/N. Oh god.....me,too."

You pulled him closer. You never noticed how tiney he was in your arms. How fragile.

"Why havent you told me?" you asked him, while his face was buried in your neck.

"I didnt wanted to boter you. People often feel bothered by me. They think I`m weird. I was glad you even talked to me. Those short coffee breaks meant the world to me."

"Artie, this is just....I`m speechless."

He chuckled, now facing you "You just called me Artie".

"I know. Thats what I called you in my head all the time".

"I could get used to that" he smirked, which made his lip scar show even more intense.

"I cold call you Artie all night if you want to stay. " you whispered into his ear.

"I would love to. I mean its cold outside and some cuddles and warm tea would be nice..."

"Or some kisses" you added.

"Or some kisses....." Arthur turned his face to the left and put your face between his gentle hands.

His lips on yours felt even better than in your fantasy.

His taste filling your mouth was all you ever wanted.

And as you both fell into the pillows  you buried your face into his curls and took a deep breath of Arthur Fleck.

@impulsiveclown @ben-solos-writing-avenger @jokerownsmysoul @missjoker96 @arthurskitten @lynnesm @nonnymousse @gwynplaine89 @damnrightobsessedwithim @sgtsavoytruffle  @duhliriouss @sadjesterautumn @therealjokerking10 @flowerglitterwoman @thirstforfleck @spookyhome @iartsometimes  @you-cant-cry-in-here @bustafatclownnut @jokerismyhubbie @jokerflecker  @check-out-this-joker @darknessisafriend  @nicoleverse @mdme-rosary @arthurhappyclown    @neon-umbrella-for-stella   @cherrymoon75 @call-me-harley-quinn  @arthurjokersgirl

[bridgyrose]

Infiltrating Witch. Aro is not having a good time. First beaten by Ruby and then her own leader pulls a weapon on her. How's Salem gonna push her next?

Salem watched as Aro practically stewed in her anger as classes wore on. The day was almost over and they just had to survive one more class after this. Not that she was complaining, going to these classes was much easier than she anticipated. Most of the professors were a bit comical with how they explained things, especially Oobleck. But for now, she had to deal with Goodwitch. And her team wasnt making that one easy.

“I volunteer for the next fight!” Aro hadnt even waited for Goodwitch to speak after the current fight ended, immediately volunteering herself. 

Goodwitch looked over to Aro and sighed. “Alright, then who do you-” 

“All of Team RWBY.” 

The room went silent for a moment as all eyes went to Aro. Students whispered to each other about her having to be insane for wanting to fight all of team RWBY at once. Sure, Weiss or Blake were easy enough to deal with on their own,  but even then they werent exactly pushovers. And adding Yang and Ruby as a death sentence. 

Goodwitch paused for a moment, trying to see if Aro was serious or not. “I’ll allow you to fight one or two memebers, but a full team-” 

“I want to fight all of them.” Aro’s eyes glowed with determination, ready to take on anyone. 

“Very well,” Goodwitch said with a sigh. “Aurora Glad versus Team RWBY.” 

Salem watched as Aro and her opponents walked up onto the stage. Team RWBY didnt exactly seem to be taking this challenge seriously, Yang and Ruby making a few jokes to their team members while Weiss tried to keep them in line. It still amused her that Ruby was the one called to be a leader. 

“What does she think she’s doing?” Sitri spoke, disappointed in her teammate. “I thought she dropped that grudge.” 

“She wont until she wins.” Xan seemed strangely calm with the situation, keeping an eye on her teammate. “Besides, this isnt going to be a long fight.” 

“All she’s going to do is get herself angry when she loses.” 

Xan shrugged and looked back at her scroll, keeping an eye on Aro’s aura. 

Salem kept her eyes on her teammate, wondering what exactly this was going to accomplish. She knew the girl had a petty grudge on Ruby for beating her in their last match, but this seemed a bit reckless even for her. Although, it was going to be amusing to watch either way. 

Just as quickly as the combatants made their way up onto the stage, the fight began with Goodwitch calling it out. “Begin!” 

Aro’s eyes glowed as she used her semblance, the dust in her tattoos glowing as well. With her eyes fixated on her opponents, all she had to do was make a single touch. Her mind raced for a moment as she launched herself forward, using a bit of the lightning dust to speed up her movements, making her way to her first target. A scythe came down next to her as she narrowly avoided it. With a quick tap on Ruby’s wrist, she stopped and focused on her water dust, grinning as she watched the girl collapse. She had no intention to kill the girl, just make her regret humiliating her. 

“Get away from her!” Weiss rushed in with her semblance to break Aro’s concentration. 

Aro didnt seem to be phased, gripping Weiss’s arm and causing her to collapse as well. She listened to the two girls cough and choke as she used her own water dust to condense the water in the air into their lungs. She snapped out of her semblance as she felt the force of a fist hit her square in the jaw, sending her back near the edge of the arena. She looked up and glared at Yang and Blake, steadying herself and getting her glaive out. 

Yang and Blake rushed in to fight Aro, making sure to keep out of reach of her as Ruby and Weiss picked themselves up. At least, that was the plan until the two dropped to the ground, feeling their chests tighten. The feeling of water pouring into their lungs filled them as it became harder to breathe. 

“Aurora! That’s enough!” Goodwtich used her semblance to separate team RWBY and Aro, pushing them up against separate walls. “I will not have my students killing each other.” 

Aro dropped her semblance, looking away from her opponents. She waited until she was released before heading back to her team to sit down. 

The rest of the room went silent as they had watched. It was the first match they had seen Aro participate in that she didnt look like she was having fun. The calm determination she wore seemed eerily frightening, as if for the first time she was fighting to win and not to show off. 

Sitri frowned at her teammate. “Seriously? That’s what you wanted to do? Nearly kill-” 

Aro wasted no time pinning Sitri to the ground and holding her glaive above her. “You dont get to lecture me about my grudges. Nor do you deserve to use that weapon.” 

“Aurora Glade! My office. Now.” Goodwitch walked over to Aruora, getting ready to pull her down the hall. 

Aro stepped back from Sitri, twirled her glaive before compacting it and started walking off. She felt better for having defeated Ruby in a fight, and to put the rest of that team in their place after getting off scot free from the dock incident. Even pinning Sitri felt nice. 

Xan sighed and helped Sitri up. “Sorry about that. Aro… has a bit of an anger problem. Especially once she uses her semblance for anything other than her cheery personality.” 

Sitri sighed and rubbed the back of her head, wincing a bit. “I’ll… keep that in mind.” 

“What exactly is her semblance?” asked Salem. 

“She calls it Focus. It allows for her to focus on an aspect of herself, be it the dust tattooed into her, her strength, agility, anything really, and increase its effects nearly tenfold. But she can only focus on one thing at a time with it, making her pretty narrow minded when its going. She’ll act on instinct, but get too many things going at once, and she’ll lose that concentration.” 

Salem nodded, smirking a bit as she learned a bit more about her teammate, and it seemed things were starting to get interesting. Especially as she started getting to know each of her teammates. One an apprentice to Watts, one having lost her faunus trait, and one who couldnt let go of a grudge. 

Salem’s thoughts went straight back to Aro, her smirk changing into a frown. She wanted to punish the girl for hurting Ruby, or at least nearly killing her. But on the other hand… Her eyes shifted to the younger girl, disappointment coming from her like a cheap perfume. Maybe using Aro to help discourage Ruby wouldnt be that bad of a plan. And with Cinder on the way, that could be just the push the girl needed to get out of Ozma’s grasp.