#more often than not the answer is 'don't ask actually you know how TF is'

[is-this-tf]

Most underrated type of tf, GO!!

Oh my GOD- okay first off to be clear: everyone has one of these. Everyone has an opinion on what kind of TF is underrated, what kind they want to see more of and what they think deserves more love, and they're all right. TF is a wide as hell interest, and like god damn we're insatiable, but that's alright because it really IS good. (so long as it isn't hurting people but that's a given.)

That said.

Fucking. OC TF. I want to TF into your OCs. I WANT TO TF INTO SO MANY OF YOUR OCS SO BAD THEY'RE SO COOL OR HOT OR CUTE OR GENDER OR WELL CRAFTED OR ALL OF THE ABOVE AND EVERYTHING, and holy GOD I wish people made more TF content for their extremely extremely TFable OCs. Fursonas or sonas in general, dnd characters, original content characters, in-universe self inserts or other OCs made for canon material, the list goes on and on and on and ON. OC TF IS SO, SO UNDERRATED.

(I suffer from what I like to call 'chronic fast TF mood metabolism' and it's terminal. It's forever. I'm in this for the long haul. I see a hot character or a fat OC or a fuzzy AU of a character or a goddamn cool half-finished sketch of a design for something (usually ANYTHING) and I pick that TF mood up so fucking fast. I'm so FUCKED, you have to understand. Please, please make TF content of your extremely TFable OCs I am STARVING.)

OC TF is the Best TF, and you can quote me on this because I am RIGHT!

[leonenjoyer69]

Both your OCs occupy space in my mind lol I love both Harry and Elias. Would you mind giving some more rambles please and thank you? About either one. I just love learning more about them.

VJEKBKDKF TYSM, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THEM :D it makes me very happy to know that people enjoy my ramblings and art of my lil fellas :3 (also, all you sweet anons are gonna be the death of me with your mysterious identities!)

(SUB NOTE: if anyone ever has any ideas at all or art requests or something for either of my sillies PLEASE don't hesitate to bring them up I would literally love hearing any suggestion or answering any question ever)

Anyways!!! I've actually been waiting to drop a bunch of stuff on these fellas that I've been talking about with some folks on Discord (which y'all can also ask for if you wanna talk to me on there I LOVE TALKING TO YOU GUYS), so thank you for granting me the perfect opportunity >:3 so, without further ado, I shall begin:

First of all, i just wanted to drop my height HCs bc,,,, why not lmao

I can't exactly visualize heights very well in my mind so these may be a wee bit too tall, idk, but yeah! I think giving Hyde an extra half inch would be funny bc you KNOW that mf would just round up lmao. Elias is a bit taller than Hyde, which Hyde kinda hates sometimes, itty bitty fella.

Anyways!! Harry is first up for rambling bc I have less for him rn lmao. I don't remember if ive mentioned it much before on here, but I know I included it in the fic i did for him, and that's his Scottish accent :3 we as a fandom don't write Jekyll's accent enough so I like projecting it onto injured Hyde and now Harry 😌 MORE SCOTTISH JEKYLL PLEASE-

Harry didn't really have to worry about keeping face in the mindscape (except for when around Mind Lanyon, who would pester tf out of him over it) so he fell back to at LEAST having an accent. He partially fell back on it because 1, it made him feel a wee more comfortable, and 2, because of how often he revisited memories from university (specifically during his and Lanyon relationship ofc), so he's used to hearing himself speaking with at least a drawl.

But yeah, that accent kinda sticks with him when he gains control and he has quite a hard time shaking it, which makes for some fun interactions, like when Lanyon's trying to break down his office door :3333

I believe I've mentioned this, but Harry is very very sensitive to most physical sensations (touch, pain, etc.) and has some light and sound sensitivities for a decent bit after gaining control. Because of how long he spent in the mindscape with numbed senses, It really messed with him to suddenly have control again. Eventually he starts getting used to it again, but for the first few days he's practically on the edge of a mental breakdown at every moment. He's also super jumpy from it (and from the ungodly paranoia he got from the mindscape lmao) and is quite firmly "no touch" for about a week (except for when he initiates stuff with Lanyon). Once he gets used to it tho his touch starved ass is a lot more affectionate and such.

One last thing for him! He's also far more sensitive to hunger and thirst sensations/pain, so he tends to take far better care of their body while in control. It took him a short while to get used to eating and drinking again, but he's more than happy to do it, not realizing how much he had missed it. Plus, he's seen how horrible Jekyll and Hyde would take care of themselves, so he certainly doesn't want their neglect to be his downfall. He's also a bit more sensitive to being tired, but can't sleep very well (especially without Lanyon) because of paranoia and nightmares.

OKAY, NOW, onto Elias!! Most all this stuff is from a discord convo that I didn't feel like rewording, so... Sorry if the formatings weird 💀 (questions are indented and italicized, as well as abbreviated)

OKAY SO, For how Henry (or whoever) convinces Elias to switch back:

Elias usually throws some sort of fit when he's initially order to switch back (except for the very rare instances where he's actively wanting to switch back, like when everyone's busy and he starts getting lonely anyways), though most the time he'll simmer down when Henry starts sorta begging or when either Henry or Lanyon (or very occasionally Hyde) lowkey bribe him. Usually Henry (or Hyde) will bribe him with physical touch/affection (hugs, cuddling, kisses, stuff like that), or bonding time, like going out and doing things together and such (or just doing stuff together at the society, like watching Henry do science or doing paperwork 💀). (Also, sometimes Jekyll will just get somewhat impatient and start asking more desperately and the guilt kinda gets to Elias, Henry usually feels bad about it tho) otherwise, Lanyon will bribe him (quite grudgingly, might I add) with more time out, going to the park with Elias in shadow form and talking, or letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde. But yeah, Elias is lowkey like a little affectionate, overactive puppy :3

[...] I misread "letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde" as "letting him get a gift FROM Jekyll or Hyde" and swore for a moment that sometimes Jekyll/Hyde sent gifts to Elias but Lanyon stole them [... ]

LANYON WOULD TOTALLY STEAL ELIAS'S STUFF TO USE AS BARGAINING LEVERAGE 💀 but yes, bribery is the go to, this guy does NOT like being locked away, so when he does it's either out of guilt or he's getting something out of it, hehe

[...] Imagine that since Lanyon is probably taller than elias, he just hides some lf his stuff on higher places so that he cannot reach them, I feel like Elias would annoy the hell out of him so that he stops doing it though (Lanyon puts them back where they where, and when Elias isn't there, he just hides them again) also, I just imagined Jekyll like guilt tripping or manipulating him so that he drinks the potion

Oh he absolutely would, Lanyon would have a whole "confiscated" shelf for it too, and Elias would definitely whine about it with sooo much persistence. AND JFKGKKF YEAH JEKYLL WOULD 😭😭 both out of selfishness and not, since he still hasn't tested how the formula behaves when an alter ego is out for prolonged amounts of time, and sometimes he just wants Robert back.

Jekyll likes Elias, he just has more of a preference for Lanyon. Jekylls probably also got a bit less patience for Elias's whining after dealing with Hyde's for so long lmao, he always feels kinda bad about being mean or anything to Elias tho, since it's kinda his fault that Lanyon split.

Would Lanyon ever like bother Elias with the fact that Jekyll likes him better?? Like maybe, at one point he just gets too tired of him wanting to hang out with Jekyll and says to him that Jekyll just deals with him out of pity, and like Elias then just feeling kinda bad about it and wondering if Jekyll actually likes him??

If Lanyon's feeling especially spiteful and annoyed, probably, but also Elias worries about that enough on his own and bothers Lanyon with all his self deprecating thoughts anyways 💀

How does Hyde feel about Elias?

He's generally guilt free about the whole "splitting Lanyon" thing and /gen likes Elias way more than he likes Lanyon lmao. He still gets that sorta bitter anger and resentment when he looks at Lanyon, but he doesn't get that with Elias. Hyde kinda thinks that Elias is all the best parts of Lanyon (Except for Elias's emotional sensitivity sometimes, but Hyde deals. He feels surprisingly bad when he upsets Elias..) But yeah, Elias is most of the reason why Hyde is complacent enough to actually kinda lay low after messing up Blackfog and stuff, so Jekyll certainly likes Elias for keeping Hyde somewhat in check lmao

And that's everything I have for this!!! Thank you so much for the ask :D

[thejockout]

Subject Diaries #0 - Jockout the Subject, Part 1

In traditional Jockout fashion, I'm getting to this a little later (and differently) than I'd expected, but I've made it at last.

Initially, I was planning this first post to be a fairly blunt description of the files I've been listening to and the effects I've been experiencing; but I realised it's kinda weird to do that without ever really talking about my desires and what I'm into with hypnosis, lol. I will still give a little breakdown of what I've been up to (and that's what my future posts in this series will mostly be) but for the first one, I think I wanna talk a little more broadly first about my experiences/wants with hypnosis.

You've already met Jockout the hypnotist, so now let's talk about Jockout the subject:

As in my bio, I'm 22 (for a few more weeks) and live in Ireland in a suuper rural area, far from any population centers. I work as a freelance writer (AKA unemployed most of the time), so lots of time on my hands.

I've got extensive history with masculinisation hypnosis of all types and flavours. I first got into it fairly young via "Turn Straight" hypnosis (which is sad, looking back!) but it very rapidly transformed into all this. I was interrogating my sexuality and came to realise that more than being attracted to men, I was attracted to manhood, and I was into TF/mind control stuff. So falling into the masculinisation hypno hole was a pretty logical progression. Like many of us, I started on WarpMyMind but did get sick of that place quickly.

So that's setting the scene for who I am. What's my actual experience level with hypnosis?

Firstly, I am predominately a file subject. I've done some live trances and toyed with the Hypnosis4Guys circuit before but out of 10 people I've tranced with, 1-2 were ethical with me at most. I've dealt with people ignoring limits set pre-session, photos being taken of me without my consent, sessions being recorded, clumsy attempts to use triggers on me when I voice objections... I do have hypnotist friends I trust now who I could trance with, but tbh, I'm just more comfortable trancing on my own time nowadays. I feel strongly that hypnosis files can still have effect, despite what a battery of Twitter hypnodoms will tell you to the contrary. It just takes a different set of skills to live trancing.

As a subject, the files I've got the most experience with in total are Jack Drago's Masculine Conditioning series, Rigsby's Absolute Jock, and too many of @avissapiens' catalog to list, though I've spent the most time with Douche Gymbro, Perfect Muscle Bull, Painted Himbo, and Abyss Drone as a default "I wanna trance but don't know what file" option. I've done too many other random files to count, but these are the ones I stood by for the longest. (@hyphyphurray is the most recent addition to this staple rotation, someone I only started listening to sometime in the last few years... but more on that in my next post.)

The final thing bit of context I want to give, but haven't already, is my view of masculinisation/personality change hypnosis as a whole. What is it? Is it real? Does it work? How much of it is fantasy?

"Is This Kind of Hypnosis Real?"

Well, the answer changes depending on who you ask. My belief is that personality-change hypnosis is not "roleplay" in the sense we usually use that word in kink, so I prefer to think of it as role experimentation. It provides a chance for us to explore the fit of different psyches, mannerisms and thought patterns to our own defaults, which allows us to see how well they might fit.

For this reason, I often think the different masculine roles explored in hypnosis (himbo, jockboy, jock, bull, pup, bro, alpha, beta, slave) are kind of like mental outfits we try on during trance.

Some people feel more strongly than others that "there is only one of these outfits for every person and you must choose", but I take a looser approach than that. In my own trancing, I like to bounce around. I enjoy files that use the Himbo/Pup/Bro/Jock/Bull/Alpha labels all pretty well, with the only types I dislike being the extremely-submissive ones. I have a pretty varied hypno diet for this reason... and to extend the "outfit" metaphor, I kinda feel like a Disney employee who does Tigger for the morning shift and Gaston for the evening parade or something. They're both ostensibly outfits I'm choosing to put on, roles I'm choosing to play. Are either me?

That's a choice we all make for ourselves, I guess - imo, the "self" that we embody is inherently a kind of role, just one we've gotten very practiced at, so I see no reason the the roles we play within hypnosis are less significant. But I won't get into philosophy/psychology here because it's honestly kinda boring and I have no interest in trying to convert anyone into agreeing with me. But tl;dr, this kinda role experimentation does matter, and the roles it allows us to play with are no less real than others we perform socially, professionally, sexually, or etc., outside of hypnosis.

So.

That's enough for now, as an introduction to what I believe in as a tist/subject. In the next post, I'll be talking about what I actually want from hypnosis as well as what I've achieved thus far. And from then on, these posts will be more like status updates on how my own TF journey is going!

Hope you enjoyed!

-------

This post serves as the introduction to my broader Subject Diaries series, a blog series I plan to maintain on a fortnightly/monthly basis updating people on what I've been listening to, files I've been enjoying, and effects I've been experiencing. When I'm not trancing, I'm usually off being a mystical forest bro in the wilderness of Ireland, but I am always available for commissions here on Tumblr/Soundcloud if you reach out via DM. My flat rate is currently $55-80, but you can always check my pinned post for more up-to-date info. You can also support me with a one-time tip either via Paypal or Ko-Fi, but you'll have to DM for the first.

'Til next time!

[genesisvirus]

What is the ending for your brainrot au? Does max get in a relationship with nugget? Does nugget address their problems? Does sick TF win?

there isn't exactly an ending to the interp / au since it's following along with the shorts atp, so ig the ending is whenever mdp decides to stop making shorts lmao. so ig i'll explain more of the timeline here.

uhm so i don't exactly know when the whole twiddlefinger incident takes place, my heart wants to saying during those 24 omega nugget shorts cuz i REALLY want to make those noncanon, but idk. actually i can't even do that cuz of One short in between those and the first twiddlefinger cameo that has max still in school. with how mdp's uploading works it's hard to kinda slot that incident in a place and have it make sense so like. just bear with me. cuz i'm gonna say fuck it we do whatever LMAO

either way obviously it happens before the first cameo. the ending to the whole incident is basically, nugget gets help in the form of his hat, which clues him in on what to do; singing. so he starts singing, which does help 1) activate a memory in max that makes him stop and go wait uhm. what's happening lmao. and 2) like i've said before, their singing reverses damages caused by brainrot, so it does heal max just slightly. either way max does go unconcious, which gives nugget enough time to get him to a hospital.

happy times! except max is still very much sick and delirious and amnesiac. he pretty much spends time at the hospital recovering physically, with his family visitng to see him + help recover lost memories. when he's in a more stable place physically, he does get sent home so that his family can help him recover his memories and stuff. nugget doesn't visit often, only becuz max is still heavily delusional when it comes to nugget, so it takes a bit for max to be Normal around him again. it takes a while but as you can tell based on what i JUST posted, he does eventually regain his memories - atleast his main ones, the memories surrounding the twiddlefinger incident are still messed up and mostly missing.

hope does come back home when she found out about max and helps with the recovery process too. i think at some point there'd be a big blowup about how their parents put everything onto max, including the care of his brother, and they can't be doing that becuz it was part of the reason this whole thing got so bad to begin with (cuz again they didn't notice!! like what!!), so their parents start actually being parents and start looking after jimmy more. things start looking Mostly normal on the surface and seem to go back to normal, atleast enough for max to start uploading videos again.

ofc the situation caused alot more problems than they thought. for one, max is still infected with brainrot it's just in a more managable position, but it does afect him mentally and emotionally at times still. namely evil max starts popping up more and is completely unstable after the situation. max and nugget both suffer nightmares from the ordeal and their relationship got a LOT more awkward after everything. at this point in the shorts they're in a "acting like bfs despite not being officially together" weird relationship that they're not really touching upon yet, but give it time they'll actually talk it out. also i think evil max IS stabilizing a bit but we'll see with new shorts, rn he seems to be toning it down a bit (ignore him trying to kill jimmy..).

realisitically evil max isn't going to go away but at some point i think he'll ease up given time. we'll see tho.

i may be forgetting other aspects of the aftermath but y'all can ask about certain things like other characters and such and i'll answer it there, especially since this is already getting too long lmao.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Idk how you feel about asks anymore but I remember you answering one about the "We Don't Talk About Kenny" Video essay and thought you might be interested in on inspired by it, "Kenny: A Beloved Abuser" By The Early Bird 2

As you can guess, the comments are completely sane and respectful about it-that's a lie, it's about what you would expect from a video daring to say Kenny is at all a bad person (even people going as far as to claim that calling him abusive is disrespectful to real abuse victims)

It's not as detailed as "We Don't Talk About Kenny" but I still think it's worth a watch

I still love getting asks, I just can't get to them as regularly as I used to.

I haven't heard of this video, though, so I gave it a quick watch. Then I glanced at the comments and they're about what I expected. When it comes to Kenny, people are often on the extremes.

Kenny's one of those characters where he's a great, well-written character and interesting to discuss, but I can't stand him. He's an asshole, and by the end of S2, all I want is to get Clementine the hell away from him.

I know he's had a resurgence in popularity in the main tag lately. That's fine, people can like what they like as long as they're not being dicks about it. It's just odd for me since I'm so used to going there and seeing more TFS content than S1.

It's also hard to discuss Kenny with other people because of the extreme opinions and the hostility. It's not productive to try and explain something only for the stan to be like "no shut the fuck up you don't know what you're talking about--" like... at that point, they're not actually here for a discussion, they just want someone to agree with them, y'know?

Sometimes it's not even worth trying to talk about Kenny, so I commend this person for tossing an opinion out there. The comments are pretty brutal, but there's also some support.

[lacunafiction]

hi! sorry if this isn't a question you can answer.

to progress further with romance do we have to always choose flirting options when they appear or do different interactions also count? currently I prioritize comforting chosen ROs over flirting because I just can't to see them hurt </3. I already have my romantic relationship in dynamics written and I know that routes will progress differently for everyone but I am worried that not flirting at given opportunities means getting no progress at all.

I haven't finished the game yet so I'm sorry if there is an answer to my worries in the game already, I just wanted to know if its something I should think about when making choices and couldn't help overthinking it. its okay if you won't/can't/don't want to answer tho! I'll understand.

I tried to keep my ask spoiler free. also it got long, my bad, hahah.

hope you have a great day!

Hi Anon,

I hope you're doing well. 💚 Oh, wanting to offer comfort, be playful, be a touch reluctant, or any of the other choices options are equally valid!

Key romantic moments are what help to define your romantic route within TFS. This was very intentional on my part to let your MCs’ personalities shine through and give you a variety of scenes for replay value! 🥰 More often than not, you will pick a RO route for a romance moment (i.e. who to go into the woods with) and then get more choices to tailor your MC's dynamic/personality with their RO(s).

It’s kind of like threading a needle or connecting the dots because you will be presented with these key moments throughout Book One where you select your RO(s). For instance within the current demo, you can see this with the candle lighting ceremony and who offers comfort at the cabin. (It also helps to recognize the pattern of the names: B, S, R, J, and JR.) As you move further in the plot, the story keeps track of whom you picked during these romantic moments to determine your MC’s romantic route rather than how you chose to interact with them. How you act still does matter, of course! You will get different scenes, reactions, and fun stuff, but the actual route is determined by whom you select consistently during romantic moments.

Best wishes! :D

[naughtynoodle056]

I wish I could comment but I can't so:

oh my godddd I know this is kind of counterproductive or, like, just pointless for me to say this as a white person adding noise to the conversation but please please PLEASE DO NOT LET THOSE PEOPLE GET TO YOU!

I've only found ur acc recently since I've joined tumblr instead of lurking and your art is some of the best I've seen.

I have Aphantasia and general face blindness irl, so defining features (not even ethnic features, just general appearances) in drawings are the main thing I've had to focus on my whole life because I struggle to accurately display them in my art.

I've practiced and studied countless art styles and ways people have drawn and depicted eyes, eyelids, mouths, hair, skin, lips, noses, faces, body types, etc. Of course it differs depending on the art style, but you literally managed to perfect the way you draw individual features in your characters that make them not only stand out from eachother, but as characters with unique and diverse backgrounds.

I don't wanna clog up ur inbox too much, so without repeating the whole thing again, I will say that I also saw @cheeseburgersinparadise's comment on your post and I was thinking the exact same thing.

Idk what these people want you to do short of making racial caricatures or stereotypical depictions of people.

So here's some things I really enjoy about your artwork instead:

Little differences in body type are noticeable and really cool to see

you're very consistent in your character's personalities and depictions, so even if in one drawing they have their hair tied up and in another it's just completely natural, I can still tell who it is at just a glance!

Despite what the armchair critics say, the skin tones you use are really good and I can tell they're well thought out.

Your lineart is awesome. I've never been able to use the uhhh the one effect (I forgot the name) that makes the lines all sharp and stuff without my drawing looking like a SBAHJ comic parody/shitpost, but in your drawings it looks super neat and has a cool kind of side effect where it highlights the colors and stuff, making it all really pop but at the same time feel really like.. story and held together? I'm terrible at describing visuals I'm sorry but just know it's good! You know how to actually use brushes and effects/overlays.

facial expressions. You nail them every time. 'nuff said.

Same Face Syndrome fears you.

"try exploring shape language" idk what crack these people are smoking because your art is like the pinnacle of good use of shape language in drawings. It reminds me of Canadian cartoons (IN A GOOD WAY. I GET CANADIAN RADIO/TV SIGNALS, I GREW UP WITH IT) where it's like 'less is more' in terms of line detail and instead putting the focus on the basic shapes in a way that can make even the quickest sketches/simplest versions of a drawing look lively

if nobody else got me, the tumblr crowd got me fr 🥹💖

It's hard to articulate how much this means to me (hence why it took a bit for me to answer this ask lol) because like. I don't know if y'all remember that one episode of iCarly where one of Spencer's favorite artists just blew him tf off and it lowkey ruined his life for a while, but I felt just like that fr

It can be really frustrating sometimes being a silly kink artist(TM) and feeling like because I have a particularly cartoony art style and don't often draw the most extreme WG art, I get kind of overlooked and treated like IDK what I'm doing sometimes, y'know? I never went to art college and studied drawing there, other than one cartooning class I took for funsies at a community college, my knowledge comes from what I learned throughout grade school and studied myself with online resources or books at the library. So sometimes it DOES FEEL A LITTLE like certain huge artists who did go to college for that turn a nose up at artists like me.

It's the craziest feeling when someone makes a criticism on your work that's just like, objectively unhelpful or even hypocritical, and then doubles down and like subtly paints you as one who just can't accept criticism. Because if I couldn't, then you wouldnt have such kind specific compliments on my art hahaha. My lineart is so clean because I took the advice from an art teacher when I was 16 and it was shaky. I keep facial features and whatnot simpleish and cartoony so I can depict expressions in a more fun way.

Hell, that artist's "fair criticism" about leaning into ethnic features more may have been referring to the fact that Shay doesn't have a noise here. This is seen in some other pieces of mine, too

but that was intentional... a gentle nod to certain anime facial expressions were they leave the nose out for Extra Effect

It's a little ode to the funny facial expressions in Sailor Moon that do much of the same

Speaking of the lineart effect, heh, I'm soooo touched someone noticed it omg?? ;0;

I like to duplicate my lineart and put the top layer on multiply with a lighter (usually warm) color and guassian blur it and then the bottom layer with a bright (often brighter) and then guassian blur it even more before setting it to glow dodge :^)

I feel vindicated that I wasn't just like. overreacting when I was DEEPLY offended by the "helpful criticism"

I feel like whoever made the skin color comment just. forgot about the concept of lighting in a dim room 💀💀💀 It was so crazy to me that she was talking to me like I haven't been drawing these characters for years at this point and use the same base skin color like. 98% of the time

ALSO DW I THINK THE CANADIAN CARTOON COMMENT IS A BIG COMPLIMENT CUZ I USED TO WATCH A LOT OF THEM ALL THE TIME!! 6teen is one of my dearly beloveds fr and a friend of mine said my art style reminded him of that so 🥺🥺🥺

TLDR: thank you for being a real one and the heartfelt ask I will be mentally hanging this up on my fridge 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 (also sorry Tumblr is wack and wont let you reply to posts smh)

[nrdmssgs]

*evil laugh* Here I come and I have plenty heeheheheh

Ok soooo 7, 15, 20, 31 🤭, 36 🤭, B and F! ❤️❤️❤️

Ok, I have to split my answer. And I got so carried away, Ill need to specify, what happens when. #7 is before a Heart, #20 starts way before, but ends right in a Heart and #30 is also way before a Heart)

#7 What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Late nights in her office, silence is broken only by quiet music from a radio, the room is dark except for two desk lamps. Sgt Garrick seats at the opposite end of the table and quietly scolds her preferences in music.

"Even my grandma listens to more cheerful music."

"My desk - my rules, Gaz. Keep whining and you’ll have to find yourself new late night shifts buddy."

She is lying: she is ready to endure the dissatisfied sighs of her friend indefinitely. Just to sit like this with him, fighting endless paperwork side by side. These nights remind her of times, when she sat beside her parents, doing her homework. Mom would put on classical music and father would put a pile of student notebooks on the table, which he needs to review before morning. They would sit and silently study and work, till her brother is finally back from the university.

And maybe, just maybe, Gaz will grow accustomed to work to quiet classical music. And even find that particular radio station, after she leaves their base. He'd sit alone in his office, nothing but his desk lamp illuminating it in this late hour. Tons of paperwork ahead, but he knows for sure, he's not alone - they are broadcasting her favorite Rachmaninov piano concerto after all. So Gaz would know for sure, she sits somewhere there and listens to it too. And thus he'd never feel alone again.

#20 If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

Familial love hurts.

"Olia, Oliushka, nu kogda ti domoi?*" Her dad, the one who was once a happy, healthy man full of energy, turned into a whining graybeard. And then again, that name, even that name, only her father calls her, bears pain. Escaping her fathers lips, that name turns into a whimper.

It hurts to hear him like that, hurts to not be by his side, when he visits her moms and brothers graves. But in the military, you don't just get a vacation any time you want. And now, when her files are being reviewed by no other than John Price, it's the worst time to leave the country. He may call her any time now, and she knows, she must be in his office as soon as possible, if she doesn't want to lose her single chance to join the TF.

"Skoro.*" She lies. It's so obvious, her dad just sighs, and her phone goes silent.

He is not angry - just upset. She knows it. As well as that he will send her a message 'Ya tebya ochen' lyublyu.*' in a few minutes. He hates it, when their talks end like that. And so does she. She swallows heavy lump forming deep inside her throat and writes back: 'I ya tebya, pap*'. *Olia, Oliushka, nu kogda ti domoi? - (Very tender forms of her name) + how soon are coming home? *Skoro. - soon. *Ya tebya ochen' lyublyu. - I love you so much. *I ya tebya, pap. - Love you too, dad.

Platonic love heals.

In a year she will send a very same message to her dad, as their phone call won't end well once again, although this time, there will be another reasoning behind that. She'll sit on Kyles bed and fidget with her phone nervously.

"Put it down already and look at me." Gaz will grin and laugh, distracting her from sorrow.

"No. Fucking. Way... Sergeant Garrick, why on earth did you decide, that stealing Captains hat would be a good idea?" She'll ask, laughter and almost religious fear mixing in her voice.

"Bloody hell, kid, you sure, you don't need glasses? This one is even not the same shade as his!" Kyle will land on a bed beside her, still chuckling and trying to mimic Price. Only then will she see, this hat (obviously bought for a joke) is actually slightly darker than Prices. She will not even notice how the phone slips out of her hand onto the bedspread.

Romantic love confuses.

For years, she was ok with one-night stands. Who needs romance, when there are the right playlists, films and cozy stories about Sgt Garrick love life? Why would she need to go on a date, when she just can listen about how his date went? It's safer, after all.

She was never afraid to become too old for dates, to end up alone - in fact, it was the plan. Nobody to worry about her, nobody to break her heart. And it worked good enough, until it didn't.

They sit side by side on warm concrete steps, looking at the sun setting behind the barracks.

She tries to find a photo, she was talking about: a nice coffee shop in Warsaw, she once visited in a brief pause between deployments. After all Nikolai has done for her - sharing her gastronomic recommendations was the least she could do.

"Wait, I want this one." He taps the screen of her phone and smiles.

"This is my selfie with Sergeant Garrick. Why would you need it?" She can't help but look up at him. When Nik smiles at her, happy wrinkles radiate from the corners of his eyes. Something in these wrinkles makes her melt deep inside.

"You are content there." He takes a phone from her hands and looks closer. His smile widens.

"Nik, it's just my face. C`mon, give me that back, ill find a photo with that cafes name." She reaches out for her phone, but Nikolai catches her hand, not looking away from the photo and places her hand on his shoulder, bringing her closer. Only then he looks back at her.

"Your happy face is priceless, little one." He is so close, she feels his warm breath on her cheek. Suddenly it's hard to concentrate, and almost impossible to answer. Deep inside, she blames the incident: it made her soft, needy for his comforting touch. At least she has some decency to not demonstrate it in any way.

She is caught on the way back to her room. "Having a nice evening, Lieutenant?" Soap smirks contentedly as he follows her with his eyes. And only then does she feels it - a wide smile on her face.

Now where does that come from?

She tilts her head, mumbles something unintelligible in response, and quickly disappears into the nearest building.

No. No-no-no, this isn't happening to her, shouldn't be happening. It's a good thing, tomorrow Nik leaves the base for personal business for a long time.

#31 Who are they the most glad to have met? 

"I'm so sorry, I believe, we are out of these at the moment." Seeing devastation on her face, a shop assistant adds "But I believe our other branch still has them. They are closing in half an hour, so you maybe can visit it tomorrow."

Only she needs it today, because tomorrow she'll be back on the base. So she asks for an address and understands, there's a slim chance of getting to that store before closing. Of course, it means, she has quite a sprint under pouring rain ahead. But hey, TF Lts are not sugar mice, so a few raindrops won't melt her.

It is the worst hour to rush to the other part of town: streets and roadways were busy with people returning from work. She maneuvers on the run between pedestrians, cyclists, people with prams.

She would do anything for him - after all, she owes this man everything she has: the work of her life, her best friend, faith in herself, her skills. Right now, it is time to use one of them, as she can't overtake a tall man in a hood, who, for some reason, is hurrying in the same direction as her. With his broad shoulders, he cuts off any opportunity to slip in front of him. She is starting to get angry - this guy's moving slower than her, wasting time letting other people pass. If not for him, she would have been at the far end of the street.

And then, finally, she notices something that could save her: a bus full of children is catching up with them, and the nearest stop is very close.

Ok, big guy, good luck trying to not step on little ones with your posture.

She gently and consequently pushes him to the edge of the curb until he is caught between her and the stopped bus. A second before the doors open, she rushes forward, and now they are separated by a bunch of children pouring out of the bus. The stranger is left far behind.

She smirks and disappears in a crowd.

"Oh, you are lucky, it's our last box! Good stuff, they are usually completely sold out the next week after we get them." The cashier scans a handmade cigar box and waits as she is counting banknotes.

"Yeah, my Captain deserves only the best on his Bir-"

"Fucking hell!" She freezes. A familiar voice. He comes near, and she finally turns her head. Simon Ghost Riley. Wet to the skin just as her. Tall. Hooded. So that's who she was competing to get here first.

"Ehm, I guess, we can split the gift if you want, Lt." She knows, he came here for exactly the same reason as her.

Ghost looks down at her for a long silent moment. It's obvious how important Price is to her. She will do anything for her idol.

"You won it in a fair fight." Ghost shakes his head and heads to the shop's exit.

[tartrazeen]

Okay, but actually: I just threw this into my tags for the OP, but if Vincent Walsh did leave the show (😭) and they wanted to keep the character anyway (or just have Angus go off for a month on vacation as a plot point), they could've had it so Rohan survives two weeks of being on good behaviour for the others. After that, he starts sliding into what I'm going to call "Peak Rohan" because he can only keep up the good behaviour for so long.

Rohan starts talking to the others about random crap, saying what's on his mind like "mm :) thoughts," and the others are patiently listening and trying to comment on it. But they aren't totally sure Rohan's even listening to them, or they aren't sure if Rohan's being serious, and it eventually gets to a point where they don't know how to respond and they're concerned by his Behaviour™.

Even Cathbad doesn't have an answer, because although he knows Rohan can get a little rambly, Angus has usually gotten involved long before this point so it's kind of Cathbad's first time seeing it too. There's no Angus to jump in or shoo Rohan away to.

Except there is. The actual Angus, who's somewhere over in [insert place he's at].

Using druid magic or standard fantasy birds or a magic scroll or whatever, Cathbad gives Rohan something to write with and write on as everybody in the castle begs him to talk to Angus and sort out whatever's happening. Rohan happily accepts because he does miss Angus, and was maybe trying not to ask if he could talk to his friend because Rohan didn't want to bother him. You know, one of those classic "I'll give him some space and just be sad and lonely in my corner while I wait for him to come home :(" scenarios.

So Rohan writes to Angus and Angus writes back and it's almost as good as Angus actually being there with him, and the others see Rohan returning to 'normal'. It's like its own magic. In fact, it's such a sudden snap to the status quo that they ask Cathbad if there's a way to look at what those two are saying.

I imagine Cathbad would say something about privacy and whatnot, but we also know he'll bend those morals when it suits him. "Don't you want to know what to do if Angus ever leaves for good" would be pretty damn persuasive, so Cathbad agrees to let them all take a look at one page - just one!! - from what they were talking about the night before.

And it's the chat that I stole from the OP I linked up there, which shows up on the magic scroll they've been using to message each other:

Because I love the idea of everyone else thinking, "Rohan's usually so mature and heroic (in-between tantrums) and he's been so loopy and silly without Angus, he must be sad or sick or sick from sadness, maybe Angus will fix him," and Angus revealing, "no that's just how rohan is lmao 💖 also how many holes has he dug and where is he hiding them"

I think what makes me so happy about that is how they're such good friends, so close to each other, but bicker and fight multiple times along the show. It isn't constant, so we're never left to wonder "how tf are these two friends," and it's definitively outweighed by how much more often they show they care about each other. So... -_- using the episode with the wish (jfc yes again) as an example of what I'm getting at, there's the part where Angus has stormed off already and Rohan's telling Deirdre and Ivar that Angus has stormed off. Rohan says it quite casually, not even looking up at them, 'cause that's just how Angus is. And it's not in a ">:( I hate when he does that" way but in more of a chilled out "He needed some space so he did the thing he does" vibe. It feels like Rohan's showing us that his friendship with Angus isn't in spite of things like that - or in spite of any of the bickering and fighting they do. It's because of it, more or less. Angus is the kind of guy to peace out when he's frustrated, which is something Rohan sees as part of him rather than something to correct.

Especially when Rohan becomes Draganta and starts being surrounded by yes men who treat him differently overnight, speaking over how he actually feels to tell him how he should be feeling? Having Angus still willing to fight back while being responsible enough to leave when he gets too heated is incredibly precious now - more than ever.

So I like seeing it go the other way as well: yes, Rohan has a lot of tantrums and a lot of dumb ideas, but Angus doesn't see that as problems to 'correct'. He'll jump in to stop Rohan from getting hurt or making too much of an ass of himself, but he just as often encourages Rohan to do the stupid shit he's planning. It means when Angus is away and Rohan has nobody to talk to, and everyone else is trying to get Rohan back to 'behaving' so they can have 'proper' conversations with him again, there's Angus like, "No, that is a proper conversation with Rohan. This is the good stuff. :) Quit telling him to change. >:( Rohan, burn something if they try."

The idea of Rohan writing to Angus to talk about blaming holes on Pyre and Angus being like "wtf are you talking about", and both of them insisting later that that's a perfectly average conversation between the two of them and merrily expecting to have even more conversations like that later, is completely adorable to me. This is shit they'd talk about as kids when there was nothing to eat and they were trying to distract themselves from that, and they kept it up as adults. 💖 Rohan gets the freedom to be his silly self with his friend, dropping his own mask around someone he trusts enough to let the mask be dropped.

Also that whole convo was funny as hell and I love the thought of that being something they'd say lol

These are two guys who've had at least two episodes semi-centred around them arm wrestling each other (not even to impress Deirdre, they just like doing it), so you've gotta wonder what they chat about in their normal downtime. Real 'boys will be boys' shit lololol Angus is gonna wanna find these holes when he gets back and it's gonna be exactly as stupid as Rohan made it sound

(he's lowkey gonna be proud of rohan i bet LMAO especially if one's deep enough that rohan almost got stuck in it for a while. angus would deadass hop in and so would rohan and they'd hang out in there for the afternoon, and then come to a very concerning realization that they are actually stuck and have to boost each other up to escape again)

-

Edit: link to the end of the thread with all my thoughts uwu

[silvery-bluish]

1, 18, 20, 32 for ocs of choice in the character dev questions for couples 👀

Questions from here!

Thank you for the ask <3 I'm gonna answer for Arsinoe

What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? In other words, what in particular had them like “Oh, they’re...hot...”

Arsinoe is Middling on physical attraction as a whole (what tf even Is It they ask, confused and trying to nail things down while unaware they're demi--) so this is kinda tough to answer for them, never mind my Own inability to nail down what physical attraction is LOL. I'm really not sure, tbh. It’s more along the lines of— Ricardo’s confidence in himself, even if they Kinda Needle him abt it sometimes? Daniel’s openness and what they perceive as a lack of artifice. Also they think it’s kinda hot he doesn’t mind if they’re constantly going 👁️ at his brain. Attraction to their physical forms ends up being more because it’s Them than their actual physical attributes.

18. They’re going through something incredibly difficult—perhaps they’re very sick, have lost a loved one, or have gone through a traumatic event. Do they ask for or accept support and care from their partner, or try to isolate themselves?

Oh isolate themself 100%. That's Their Problem not Your Problem don't mind them dropping off the face of the earth for two weeks-- (i do not think either ricardo or danny appreciates this tendency.) When Stuck accepting help from others (innocent crash ending, y'know, the whole Legs thing) they're,, they downplay what they need, still, try to be unobtrustive and not Needy and not take up too much space.

20. When would they say “I love you?” Do they say it first? Do they say it often, or is it reserved for special moments?

Hahaha ho boy they're Weird about I Love Yous. In their canon Retri run, there've been four (4) I Love Yous thrown around. Daniel says it a whole Twice (trans talk, regene reveal talk), they say it first to Ricardo in the hospital post-crash thus stealing his Saying I Love You First rights, and he says it back.

Arsinoe doesn't manage the words themself a lot of the time -- they tend to get tangled up in the definition of romantic love, or all the reasons this is a Stupid Idea, or just Struggling with how to Verbalize their Internal Feelings, it took a car crash and being Very emotionally compromised and on pain meds for them to manage it to Ricardo, and that was the first time they'd wrapped the word "love" around those feelings, and then they went oh NO internally about their Danny-feelings being similarly shaped.

(Also they don't really frame Daniel and Ricardo's I-love-yous as like. Real? At this point? Because of all the secret keeping? They're very 'thats not real until you've seen every single terrible secret i have.' They get the ‘let’s just forget I said that’ line after saying it to Ricardo, but I Don’t Think He Will Be Forgetting.)

I don't think they'll ever get to the point of saying it casually, they're more of a "idiot (fond)" kinda guy. More likely to try and get the point across without actually saying the words themself.

32. How do their friends react to finding out they’re a couple? Do they have lots of mutual friends? Did their friends know, perhaps before they themselves did?

Mutual... ish friends. They're in the same circles, for the most part, Arsinoe doesn't have the Widest friend group. They're past flirting with Ricardo, and Themmy had Approximate Knowledge but In My Mind did offer to have a Talk with Ricardo on Arsinoe's behalf because they uuuuh ghosted him for a whole month after the Psychopathor Kiss Incident and Themmy was. A little worried about it. But then Themmy was mostly just Supportive and Smug about it once Ars and Ricardo got it as worked out as it was gonna be.

Arsinoe wanted to keep it Very Lowkey but that. Didn’t end up lasting v long around the pre-HB Rangers and associates, even if Themmy didn’t gossip about them. I don’t think Ashfall approved. I think Sentinel tried to give them Unprompted Uncle Advice and they got Panicked about Being Perceived and did not actually hear any of it. Chen was side-eying them already and side-eyed them worse abt the not-not-dating situation.

Post-HB, alllll of the Rangers are Very Aware of the ‘its complicated for a decade plus with a brief seven year pause to be assumed dead’ situation. The Danny situation is— evolving still tbh. Chen wingmans for Danny, somehow, despite the 115 clue and knee situation, although I really can’t tell if ‘approving’ is what’s happening there, exactly.

[heliopauseentertainments]

👀👖🌈(for Reforged)

Fanfic Ask Game (the movie, the sequel)

Thank you for your patience; I meant to answer this yesterday.

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

Uh, you know what, that's a good question. I don't think so. Originally, there had been a few but I ultimately decided to post them.

The first one A Letter of Resignation, because I wasn't sure how that type of MegaStar take would be received. I only got two mean anons about it, so it turned out okay.

The others were any of the more adult content, before I decided to just have a sideblog specifically for it, which solved the problem.

👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?

It depends on what I'm doing. Planner usually.

Longfic? Planner (ideally). Ship Weeks? Planner (with some pantsing of details)

Short fic? Sometimes planner, but often pantser.

🌈 What inspired you to write Reforged?

Originally, when I was still new to TF and was poking around the #megarod tag on a blog dedicated to the ship, there had been a post that I had seen reblogged (OP was nsfw-squid-in-disguise).

I went back and somehow managed to find it: post here. It gave me an IdeaTM and now a bit more than 2 years later there is the longest by word count (as of the time of this post) single MegaRod work on AO3. I did not mean for it to get this long; I am still kicking myself.

Here's the text of the post for those who don't wanna go clicking around: "...[F]iclet idea where Rod goes to Caminus and they’re convinced he’s Solus prime reincarnated and they think Megatron is his consort-protector and I just

Megatron actually fulfilling the role and them sharing a kiss in secret at some point because Megatron has wanted to be in that role for so long and has been like in love with Rod from a distance and just"

Did I actually include all of those plot points? No. I was originally planning on it, but when I was defining the shape of the plot, some things didn't quite fit.

Still, I can't say this post wasn't the inspiration. It definitely was. I should go back and link the post on the fic, actually. I knew I forgot something.

Thank you for asking!

[nationmckinleyscorset]

Ok I need to start organising my thoughts on every possibly paranormal thing that's happened in this house because whenever people say "well how do you know it's haunted" I keep blanking on how to answer so here's a list I can reference:

(notes with a 🖤 next to them mean they could be mental health related instead)

Both my friend and I who have lived here have had constant nightmares and (tw) suicidal thoughts ONLY when in the house and they only started after we moved in 🖤 what's not so easily explainable is that we have both seen shadows in the mirrors and had nightmares about a woman in the bathroom (tw) killing herself in different ways.

Had my foot grabbed while getting into bed, since there's no gap between my bed and the floor I got grabbed from behind and dragged backwards to the point where I hit my knee against my bed frame

Heard walking around downstairs so clearly that I almost called the police

Heard something punch my bedroom wall while I was in bed then run out of the room and down the stairs (I heard every footstep no word of a lie)

Had coat hangers fly out of the wardrobe at me 2 minutes after opening the door (I don't mean fall because they didn't fall down into the wardrobe they feel horizontally out then down)

Seen a face peeking around the bannister at me while I was leaving for school last year, it stayed there even when I was looking directly at it, I turned around to pick up a bag, looked back and it had disappeared

Had lights flickering intensely as though someone was physically flipping the switch, said "STOP IT" because this had been going on for almost a full 20 minutes and it stopped immediately

This one happened less than half an hour ago, I put a towel in a crate on the windowsill in the bathroom, turned around for no more than 2 minutes and when I looked back it had somehow removed itself from the crate and was in the bathtub directly over the plughole (approx. 3 metres away from the crate nit including the drop down). I tried to debunk this by putting it in the crate at different angles to see if it could fall down to that position but half the time it didn't move and the other half it only feel directly onto the floor.

Sometimes when I'm not home mum hears me speaking in my room, a similar thing happened when I went out with my dad and left 2 friends on a video hat and they both heard me say "right! I'm back!" so distinctly that they were genuinely confused when I didn't appear on screen until an hour later

I've had my leg scratched before from the back of my knee down to my ankle despite not having left my bed all day

I used to see shadows so often I had to get counselling because I suspected they might be hallucinations, still unsure if I imagine these or no 🖤

The same thing that happened with the coat hangers happened with a painting on my wall

Recently heard something scratching the wall when I was downstairs alone, this happened 3 times before I freaked tf out and ran upstairs

I frequently hear someone walking around on the landing when I'm the only one in the house, I once had a friend on the phone who actually stopped me talking to ask if there was someone in the house with me

Heard glass breaking downstairs but not finding any broken glass when I went to check it out

Had a friend leave my house midway through a sleepover saying "I can't sleep here there's something watching me" not someone SOMETHING

Had a full jar of crochet hooks knocked off of my bookshelf in the middle of the night even though they're wedged in by two other jars and other random things on that shelf

These are only the ones I can remember rn, I will keep adding to this list cos shit keeps on happening.

Before you suggest it, I can't sage the house because my mum is religious and wouldn't approve and I've tried the bible-under-the-bed method and that failing (that was when I got scratched)

[rubylarkspur22]

Questions and answers below the cut. Manga spoilers ahead.

1: For the Kochou sisters in Moonlit Butterfly, How was the Butterfly Estate, and how did you get along with the triplets?

Kanae: Do you mean the Sunrise Estate? If so, it was lovely. Miss Nezuko has a lovely place to live, and it doubles as a hospital! Shinobu and I get along swimmingly with the other girls, and we've occasionally helped around the mansion with our pharmaceutical expertise from our parents.

Shinobu: Yes!

2: To the Shabana siblings in Burning Ribbons, How do you feel about the Kamado siblings, and how did you meet them?

Ume: Well, one tried to burn me from the inside, and the other tried to skewer me at least eighty times. So... not particularly high opinions of them.

Gyutaro: *growling*

Ume: But... I guess I also can't deny we have our similarities. I hate admitting it, but Gyutaro and I would do the same as them if we were in their shoes. I... I hope they can find peace in their next lives. That wouldn't be the worst thing.

Gyutaro: Hm. *Pat's Ume's head*

Ume: As for how we met them? We actually met them before I was even a Demon Slayer. They were masquerading as an Oiran... Well, at least one of them was. I don't know what the situation was, whether it was cross dressing or shapeshifting or some freaky combination. And frankly, I didn't care to ask. I'm just surprised we never got turned into demon food at any point I lived with them.

Gyutaro: *sigh of relief and agreeing nod*

3: For the Twelve Kizuki and Muzan in S&TF, How do you feel about Upper Three?

Muzan: She was weak when I found here, clearly inches from death. Her growth since then has certainly been impressive. I can't deny I'm curious what led such a weakling to cause such a massacre to be mistaken for a demon.

Kokushibo: Her strength is certainly to be admired, even if she has the occasional lack of respect for our rules and hierarchy. Undoubtedly, an impressive member of our ranks.

Douma: Oh, she's just adorable! I don't get why she always gets so violent with me, though. I just want to be friends!

Hantengu: Terrifying!

Gyokko: Most impeccable! She has her Blood Demon Art down to a most destructive art form, and the beauty of it is to be admired!

Gyutaro: She's okay. Strong. Not much else to say.

Daki: She's so amazing! Not as beautiful as me, of course, but she certainly isn't difficult on the eyes. I intend to reach her level someday.

4: Yoriichi and Uta in S&TF, How did you two meet, and how was your wedding?

Yoriichi: I had run away from home after my mother's passing.

Uta: We met in a rice paddy. I was collecting tadpoles after losing my family to plague, but let them go so they wouldn't be apart from their family. But Yoriichi stayed with me, and we've been inseparable ever since. And our wedding was beautiful! It was quiet, since we only really had each other, but I loved every second of it! All that mattered was I was marrying my best friend!

Yoriichi: I agree. I wouldn't have had our wedding any other way.

5: MPCS Nezuko and Daki, How does it feel being the only female Upper Moons? Do the two of you ever do "Girls' Nights"?

Daki: I like to think it speaks of our strength. We're simply better than most, that we can compete with the other Upper Moons. Especially considering Lady Tsukihime is at the top.of the hierarchy.

Nezuko: I certainly don't mind having another girl in the Upper Moons. The company and amiability is certainly not garnering complaints from me. I occasionally visit the Entertainment District to check on Daki and Gyutaro, and we spend our time together there. Usually Daki and I will do each other's hair.

Daki: Just because we're killing those vile Slayers, doesn't mean we need to look disgusting while doing it. And you look gorgeous with your hair done up in more elaborate styles, I don't know why you don't do it more often.

Nezuko: Mostly for practicality's sake. My usual style is easier than what updos you give me, though I have kept most of the accessories you've gifted me.

6: Miyuri, What's your favourite seasons and weather?

Summer, and sunny days. I run cold, so warmer weather makes it easier for me to regulate my internal body temperature. Especially when using Snow Breathing.

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

It is so important to find a good therapist. It truly is.

Personal vent about my therapist moral of the story is if you think something's weird, it is 💀

This dude..

For one, bro like plain doesn't take notes which would be fine if he remembered like... ANYTHING I said. I said I took pills, he asked what kind, I said dph, dude said oh that has alcohol in it then diagnosed me with mild alcohol abuse COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO WHAT TF I JUST EXPLAINED just cause I said I drink on rare occasions. Like mf.. I drink so little you can't even count it against me. It's so few and far between. Single digits per year probably. And I'm around my family when I'm drinking so it's not like they'd let me get blackout drunk anyway. Why diagnose me off of that instead of the fucking addiction that ACTUALLY impacted my life?

But I'm like okay maybe that's a technicality thing that's not fair to him.

So then I keep on coming. Everyday i come in and he has me fill out this depression and anxiety screening form. I think its weird since it's just a screening form and he's already diagnosed me with anxiety and major depressive disorder.. so why are you screening me twice a week.... we've already established that i have it. But what makes it sting is how he sits there and compare the numbers everytime as if that's the end all be all of whether or not I'm still struggling. I swear this one time I marked a few 2s instead of 3s and after scoring a whopping 2 points lower than my previous one, he was all talking bout oh see I think therapy is good for you you're already seeing improvements. Like nigga. Do you understand how mental illness works..? It's a general screening form. That I'm filling out. TWOOOO. TIMES. A. WEEK. If I filled it out like it's printed I'd have the exact same answers every single time. What's the point of screening me that often?

But I'm like okay cool. Maybe that's protocol and I just know from here on I have to do it by the letter. Doesn't matter if it's completely useless atp.

So then he started having me do "meditation" in the beginning that lasts like 10 mins. It gets so aggravating after like 3 but I'm thinking maybe he's dragging it that long cause I'm really seeming restless. So I try to sit completely still and breathe like I'd expect him to want me to. But then he goes on and on and on to the point where Im opening my eyes and just scanning the room atp. Just bored. And dude still got his eyes closed breathing

🥲

He finally just pissed me off today when I said I ghosted all my friends a while ago and haven't spoken to anyone in a while. And dude later gon ask me if I have any non alcoholic friends Ive talked to this week. Like okay. Fuck off. It's not even a thing of you just forgetting after having patient after patient! YOURE JUST NOT LISTENING. I said i ghosted my friends 2 weeks ago WITHINNN this one hour long appointment. Did you really not care to remember that? Did that not ring any alarm bells? And I can't think of a single scenario where it'd be acceptable. If you don't know what ghosting is, ask. If you didn't hear me, ask. If you don't understand why I did it, ask. You don't get to brush past that as a professional. Why am I even here if we're just repeating the same questions over and over again with you only paying attention to the parts that you care to talk about?

AND IM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC

Fuck this dude. I have two more appointments scheduled that I'm not gonna bother to slither out of. I'll say it'll be my strike two and three appointments. If I still feel no different towards him, I won't schedule anymore. I feel like ive given too many chances atp. But at the same point, maybe it really was an off day every other time I've had other paperwork to fill out too which maybe effected the quality of the appointments. I think it's only fair to have a few test appointments lmao. Plus I have a psych evaluation coming up so I don't wanna stop going and have dude take back his referral 💀💀

Wait... damn. I only have the strike three appointment my fucking jobbbbb. Whatever ig. I want to just miss but I'm not gonna bother. I'm gonna bring it up tho. Maybe he'll learn from it and be better for other people

I think that was too fundamental of a problem to come back from. I only have one hour a week to somehow someway stop being angry at him? And to start trusting dude again at that. I still get bitter over my friends bs how tf do I find the positive to make me stick around when it's just some random dude.

Oh well that and the first appointment I had with him?

Dude said talk therapy doesn't usually work for people with long term issues like mine.

I shoulda just took the hint and dipped. Wanted to give dude the benefit of doubt so bad.. 😑

Okay nvm never going back did not realize I wasn't even following my own damn advice. Why was I still gonna give him more chances

[fischltao]

BF TSUKKI<3

plot: random bf tsukki headcanons. reader insert.

a/n: your honor i love him. also i wrote this on a whim while listening to body paint by arctic monkeys

proofread?did i proofread this??idk :D

"and if you're thinking of me, then i'm probably thinking of you"

tsukishima wakes up super early to have enough time to be a hater

he really doesn't, he probably sleeps super late, spending the time on his phone and wakes up moderately early, like 10-11 AM

doesn't want akiteru to find out about him being in a relationship, he'll probably annoy him the fuck out and make him uncomfortable

so you don't really hang out at his house and the one time akiteru saw the pair of you walking down the street, he jumped in to ask you if you were his s/o and you kinda lagged out, not really knowing what to answer since you knew kei didn't want him to know for the time being but also feeling guilty for lying

kei saved it though

lmao no he didn't, akiteru was sure that you were his partner after that encounter

you, kei and tadashi are such a power trio,its kinda like those shonen trios (nobara/megumi/yuuji, aki/power/denji)

ukai teases you a lot as his assistant and eventually takeda sensei starts doing so too in his own ways

but whenever hinata or kageyama do so, tsuki goes well, tsuki mode

tanaka and nishinoya probs ogle after you but when guys from other teams do so they protect you out of respect for you and their teammate's honor

tsukishima often sends you songs that remind him of you, he never outright tells you so but you figure it out after the first few times he sends them to you.

looks over at you after scoring a point or doing a great block to see your reaction, his chest swells with pride

dumbass (affectionate)

tries to annoy you a lot but you know it's out of love

you're kind of like the default settings for him. sad? go to y/n. happy? y/n. wants to go out? y/n. is hungry? y/n might be hungry too so he's gonna pick up something extra for you too.

would die if he made you feel uncomfortable, like you don't understand how sick with himself he would feel if he ever made you feel like that.

super proud of you when you say something he would to the team. everyone's like "YOU CORRUPTED THEM >:(" and he's in the back smiling smugly and patting your head.

cuddly when sleepy. my brother in christ will on god lay on top of you, literally almost crush u, push his face in your neck and whine but as soon as you coo at him and say something along the lines of "aw is my baby sleepy?" he'll DENY e v e r y t h i n g. he's worse than youtubers getting caught red handed committing a crime. like tf you mean, there's literally evidence📸

he thinks about you so much throughout the day, you're his safe space <//3

he is kind of insecure though. when he notices other teams approaching you, it's then that others' comments about him begin to soak in.

of course he wouldnt admit it but you can see it in the way his face falls

tell him you love him and wont leave him 🔪

sometimes cries about this at night

he knows other people could be more open about their feelings to you and you deserved to be told how perfect you are as much possible

but he tries so much :(

he never saw it as "just a relationship" what you have is one of the few things he actually takes seriously

tsukishima is great bf and i said what i said

[allisonlol]

Hi hi can I request platonic hcs with the Hunting Dogs? Basically reader is a new recruit and they’re slightly younger than the others (like around 18 or so). How would Tetchou, Jouno, Teruko and Tachihara treat them? (you can add fukuchi if you want)

a/n: plz this req is so cute, i don't write platonic stuff often so it's like a breath of fresh air :0 i was gonna add fukuchi but then...didn't cuz i'm still mad about what he's doing to ranpo ;-; split each character into their own section so it's more organized idk

warnings: none just the chaos of being a hunting dog tbh. also jouno and terukos' sadism if that counts??

Being a New Recruit in the Hunting Dogs (Platonic HCs)

Tecchou

you honestly could not be in better hands??

actually i lied. you probably could but tecchou is pretty great compared to the others

fukuchi probably sticks you with this mf cuz he thinks he's the most responsible for working with a trainee...compared to jouno and teruko who might emotionally scar you

you being younger than the rest doesn't affect how he treats you (after all, ur only a year younger than tachi)

^very respectful of course <3 people on the outside wouldn't even know you were a trainee by the way he speaks to you as an equal

pretty good at explaining all the stuff that's expected out of you

^literally recites the entire manual for new recruits' word for word?? you retained almost none of it but damn was it impressive

also gives you the whole "jouno may seem evil but don't be scared of him" speech...it doesn't help

is so proud to show you his ability PLS. he was like "look at this" and started manipulating his saber n shit, you were like 😯😯

gives you a tour of the base but gets distracted by an ant colony five minutes into it...

makes you watch the ants with him but after 30 minutes you pretend to go to the bathroom so you can get away -///-

Jouno

LMAOO good luck

purposefully tries to scare the shit out of you, and damn does it work

says some "i'm only gonna explain this once, so if you forget you'll probably die" before overloading you with information about the job

side note: literally none of it is that important

jouno heard that you trained with tecchou so now he already has a grudge against you

ditches you like 10 times to go work on his own...you gotta keep going to find him again to ask questions

(why was that how my first day at my job went lol)

plz he hears you coming and uses his ability to dissolve so you can't find him 💀💀

complains constantly that you're being "too loud"?? meanwhile you were only trying to INHALE

does give you decent advice. as in, he tells you to stay tf away from fukuchi if you value mental stability

contradicts this advice immediately after tho by dragging you out on a mission with him and making you witness his torture firsthand ??

it has you re-evaluating your life choices ngl

Teruko

basically jouno 2.0

a little more chill than him tho. has more patience and is great at showing you how things should be done & answering any questions you may have

another one who is so proud to show you her ability. except she doesn't give you a warning and just morphs 3 feet taller out of nowhere

makes you carry her on your shoulders while giving you a (better) tour of HQ and will bonk you on the head if you take a wrong turn

probably makes some snide remarks about your age and how it's likely "you'll make more mistakes"?? all you can think is that's rich coming from the mf that likes to pretend to be a child

teruko is very adamant about protecting the lives of civilians so she REALLY trains you

it's kind of a morality test too. she'll rapid-fire ask you questions and def judges you based on your response

^think of those quizzes where it's like "your best friend and mom are drowning, who do you save first" pointless ass shit

reports back to fukuchi with an IN DEPTH analysis of your behavior, and doesn't hold back

it's important to be on his good side but don't try to show off to him too much. we all know teruko is an attention wh0re and she'll threaten to rip your teeth out if she suspects ur trying to be better than her

Tachihara

you'll probably find yourself gravitating towards him the most

with both of you being the youngest and newest to the hunting dogs, there's a lot you can relate about

your first day went a lot like his actually, and y'all definitely bond over that

helps you out with missions so you don't have to ask the others for assistance cuz they would def make fun of you

tachihara is chill about his job too and just arrests criminals instead of...yknow...cutting them into pieces so that's for sure easier on your stomach

being close with tachi also ensures you'll be closer with jouno since they get along so well

^same for teruko kind of

they'll still tease you guys for being the youngest recruits, but it'll be in a more good-natured way rather than contempt

tachi will randomly use his ability to mess with you, like yanking your saber or your phone out of your hand?? i stg

sits next to you at meetings too and slides you little notes so ur not bored

pls he's so sweet, like a helpful older brother ;-; out of everyone he goes the most out of his way to make you feel more comfortable

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