#more fandom funny

[thedissonantverses]

Here are some of my critical thoughts on Veilguard:

If someone gets thrown into a fucking wall don’t move them like how the companions moved Rook at the beginning. They probably have neck trauma. Stabilize and put their spine into traction then move.

Davrin I love you but you’re gonna blow your back out swinging an axe like that. You squat and let the axe do the work you don’t actually lead with your arms. (Fun fact sledgehammers work the same way.)

The Veil Jumper’s armor has capes. In a forest. What.

I didn’t see a single person use the bathroom during the game. What sanitized bullshit is that.

If it’s not obvious I’m fucking with you. This is what we call nitpicking. We don’t expect people not to move a character who will die otherwise like an EMT. Arlathan is an open woodland and not a dense forest. Also I like when fantasy characters wear cloaks and capes. Sorry Edna you’re wrong lo siento. I don’t love using “it’s just a video game” but ya know. It’s a just a game. It’s okay to let some things go.

I am worried about Davrin’s back though I’m serious dude use your legs.

[theartlockerlocked]

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)

[cultivating-wildflowers]

You want me to turn on automatic software updates? The thing that made Murderbot commit mass murder?

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Mike isn’t wrong, but he’s not right either..

Based off @/Tanijrou post on twitter

[buumbaby]

hello have a sparkle boy

[mattastr0phic]

Those Halo guys are making up excuses to hold hands again

[hootyhoowoo]

A little 15 min doodle but first post of the year has to be Bingqiu!

[big-boah]

RDR2 Meme Pack • Josiah Trelawny 🎩

[lazycranberrydoodles]

they are so in love and disgusting and also sarcastic bitches. follow for more / prev comic / next comic

[magicicephoenix]

gnawing his fingers off

ouch. hard exoskeleton. and if you manage to bite down on a joint—

immediate involuntary removal; safety feature. you’re outta here.

[lightningfilledsaber]

my first contribution to the dunmeshi fandom: Marcille lesbian jealousy

[ping-ski]

does this make sense

(celestial meridian au belongs to @pluck-heartstrings <3)

[cacaocheri]

hi i do this thing where if I'm in a public setting, I'll look around to make sure there are no kids present before swearing. and I wanted to give the yn that exact trait

[tossawary]

One of my favorite "identity / secret" reveal situations I've ever read in a book series was when the "orphan" protagonist had been kidnapped and the kidnappers were trying to ransom him to this guy he'd only heard of in passing before. And it was a relatively serious scene, but in humorous summary, it went a little like this:

Kidnappers: "We have your son."

Some Guy: "I don't have a son."

Kidnappers: "..."

Protagonist: "..."

Some Guy: "Wait, let me call my ex."