#more characters but it would be pointless to tag them after five yes?

[lilbreck]

Sequel to Leave a Light On

Title: Chapter 1: New World in My View Beta: @emacsweeny​ Characters: Bonnie Bennett, Brady, Caroline Forbes, Deputy Adams (OC), Elena Gilbert, Elijah Mikaelson, Elizabeth Forbes, Jules, Klaus Mikaelson, Maddox, Paige, Ray Rating/Warning: FRM / graphic sexual language Word Count: 5,903 A/N: A huge thank you to Eileen for beta'ing this for me. Though I list a lot of characters, and some of them actually do get dialog, some of them just pass through.

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She was technically supposed to be keeping an eye on Ray until Jules and Brady could get there, but just staring at him would have drawn too much attention. At least, that was what she was going to tell Klaus if he happened to show up while she was on the phone with Elena. Werewolf hunting trip or no, she wasn't going to go without wishing her friend a happy birthday – it was bad enough that she hadn't really done anything for her friend's birthdays over the past year because of the whole Klaus and Silas situation going on.

When Elena picked up she skipped over hello, ignored any pleasantries and went straight into crisis mode.

"Caroline, are you okay? Do you need us to come get you?"

While part of her was very touched that her friend was worried about her, she was also kind of offended that she would assume Caroline would only be calling for help. Before she could get really worked up over it though, Bonnie's voice interrupted.

"I'm sure if there was something wrong Caroline would have said something in one of the daily texts she's been sending us for the past two weeks. Right, Caroline?"

While she was still very aware of Ray sitting at the bar making friendly conversation with the bartender, Caroline let herself be pulled into the easy and familiar rhythm of the conversation between her and her friends back home. She could almost pretend she was back in Mystic Falls instead of a bar in Tennessee.

"Do you have me on speaker? Is the whole town listening in and waiting to hear how my summer vacation is going so far?"

Allowing the subject to change, Elena's voice turned pouty as she replied, "No, it's just me and Bonnie. She's keeping me here and distracted while Stefan's putting together the birthday party I never agreed to."

"You were never going to agree to a big party, Elena. That's why I had to ask Stefan to put it together. It's not every year you turn eighteen, so you should make it memorable. Oh, speaking of which…"

Bonnie's laughing voice cut her off, "He's following your plans down to the last detail. He's been texting me whenever he has questions about what you mean."

She could feel herself getting ready to defend her need to micromanage nearly everything in her life. Bonnie apparently knew her well enough though, to step in and calm her defensiveness. She couldn't remember Bonnie knowing her this well before but she really appreciated it now.

"I'm pretty sure we would be an absolute mess without you, Caroline."

"You'd make it through. Everything would be a lot less fun, but you'd still make it through."

Her response got the laugh she was after and Caroline enjoyed the warm feeling that spread through her at the sound. The two quickly took the time to let her in on all that she had been missing in the couple of weeks she'd been gone. Bonnie, in particular, seemed like she needed to vent.

"And let me tell you, I've never been happier that Pearl and Anna are here. They've been basically acting as a buffer between the Mikaelsons and the rest of us. Finn is alright. He's basically not around much and when he is he's just kind of… there. Kol and Rebekah are absolute nightmares. I can't count the number of times I've had to use my magic to stop Kol from, well, being Kol. I'm also pretty sure that Elena is ready to try and rip out Rebekah's hair the next time she makes some innuendo while talking with Stefan."

Elena spluttered at that while Caroline complained about the fact that she would have the luxury of a buffer with both Rebekah and Kol. She pouted at first as Bonnie and Elena laughed at that, but soon she was joining in. Too soon, the laughter faded and she could almost feel the tension from the other side as both of her friends held back something they were obviously wanting to say.

"Okay, you two. Out with it. What's ruining the happy moment?"

Surprisingly, it was Elena who spoke up.

"We don't want to worry you, Caroline. Lord knows you've got a lot to deal with right now, but Elijah has been spending a lot of time over at your house the past week or so. Like, every day."

Caroline hadn't realized how much she had tensed up until she felt her whole body relax. Her mother had already let her know that Elijah had been coming around and reassured her that it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. While she knew her friends were worried about her mother, she still couldn't resist teasing them a bit.

"I don't know if I should be touched or disturbed that you two are spying on my mom so closely, Elena."

She had delivered the statement in a serious tone of voice but quickly lost the fight against a giggle when she heard Elena and Bonnie floundering to explain themselves. Still aware that she wasn't exactly in a private setting, Caroline made explanation as vague as she could.

"It's okay, you guys. I already knew about it. Apparently, his family hasn't been very good with communication, so my mom's been keeping him up to date. Nothing to worry about."

That explanation would have to do because, just as she could hear Elena and Bonnie begin to ask more questions, she caught sight of Jules and Brady walking into the bar. The latter quickly caught sight of her and Caroline couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes at the scowl he directed at her. Yeah, she had a feeling they were never going to be friends and only part of that was because she couldn't forget that he was capable of torturing her and enjoying it.

"Okay, girls, break time's over. I've got to get back to work."

As they said their goodbyes and ended the call, Caroline watched the scene unfolding across the bar. Jules and Brady approached Ray and sat next to him on either side. Almost immediately she could see his body stiffen. She had warned Klaus that this wasn't the right way to start things off and that he'd be able to tell that they weren't regular werewolves. She was already halfway to them when Ray practically launched himself from the bar stool and started walking away from the pair. Abandoning any pretense, she sped forward to stand in front of him with her hands held up in what she hoped would be a calming manner.

"Please don't leave yet."

She could see the building panic as he looked between her and the two hybrids joining them. "You're vampires."

She couldn't tell if he was expecting help from the people in the bar or if he was thinking of trying to warn them to run, but she needed to calm him down quickly. She knew she had a limited time before Klaus lost what little patience he had and came barging in.

"Yes, I'm a vampire, and I've compelled everyone in here not to interfere. I realize how shady that sounds, but we're not here to hurt you. We just want to sit down and talk."

When he continued to side eye Jules and Brady, Caroline quickly realized that he could sense their hostility. Although he appeared to assume it was directed at him, she knew better. Dropping her hands, she gave a huff of frustration over the hybrids interference.

"Okay, that aggression thing you're getting from them is not because they're going to hurt you. It's because they want to hurt me. It's a gut reaction to millennia of hatred across the species divide that we're still trying to overcome."

The latter seemed to catch his attention and he looked at her confused as he asked, "You guys aren't vampires?"

Caroline could now see a way to steer the conversation the way she wanted it to go. With a calming breath and a smile that she hoped was friendly, she shook her head.

"I am. They were werewolves until very recently. Now they're something else. That's actually why I'm here to talk to you."

Caroline gestured to the table and, after Ray reluctantly walked over to sit down, turned to Jules and Brady. She smiled at them both and then looked to the bar in what she felt was an obvious hint. Jules, for her part, simply rolled her eyes and went to sit back down. Brady crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her. Refusing to let him bait her or intimidate her, she stared back at him silently, smile still in place. Finally, with one final low growl, he turned around and went to join his alpha. The pleasant expression dropping from her face, Caroline then made her way over to join Ray at the table.

"Sorry about that. They really don't like me very much."

While he still looked nervous, Ray shot her a confused and disbelieving look.

"If they don't like you, then why are they here with you?"

Doing her best to turn on the charm and put him at ease, Caroline answered "I'm a means to an end. Kind of a middleman, really. They want their pack and their kind protected, and I can help them do that."

At this, Caroline paused and flagged down a passing waitress. When she asked her for two beers and didn't get carded, Ray's eyebrows shot up. His tone was slightly accusing when he said, "I've never known Jessie to not card someone who she didn't know."

Caroline fought down a small twinge of guilt and tried for nonchalant.

"Compelling her to not feel the need to ask for ID was shady but not evil."

As much as Caroline hated being laughed at, she did feel a small thrill of victory at the small smile that Ray apparently couldn't stop. She took a moment to gather her thoughts as the waitress, who she totally didn't feel guilty for compelling, left two bottles and took the money that Caroline handed her.

She pretended not to hear him ruefully murmur, "At least you didn't steal the beer."

"Werewolves, as I'm sure I don't need to tell you, are an endangered species. I'm convinced that the only reason they aren't extinct is because most vampires don't think you're real. Which, in my opinion, is extremely stupid. Hello, we're vampires! Who knows what else is out there." At this, Caroline paused and couldn't help but voice her next thought out loud. "When I get a chance to take a vacation, I should try and find out if mermaids are real."

She was brought out of her off-topic ramblings by Ray's contemptuous snort.

"Mermaids are just myths."

A part of Caroline wanted to engage in a long debate with him about myths usually having some basis in truth and about how there were still so many undiscovered creatures in the world. However, she just settled for a bland stare as she replied "Said the werewolf to the vampire in a bar in Tennessee."

Caroline took a drink of her beer as Ray seemed to struggle with a comeback. When he finally appeared to give up, she continued.

"Jules and Brady were regular werewolves when I first met them. Now they're hybrids. Specifically, they're werewolf vampire hybrids. They're harder to kill than werewolves, their bites kills vampires quicker without having to transform fully, they have the potential to live forever and are super strong like vampires, and they don't have any pesky issues with the sun. More importantly to them and you I think, they have complete control over their transformation."

Ray sat in stunned silence for a moment and then stuttered out, "How?"

With a small, rueful smile Caroline answered, "There's only one way, and it comes with strings."

As if summoned by her answer, the door opened and Klaus came strutting in with Maddox following closely behind. His grin told her he was unrepentant when he spotted them and then made his way toward their table. Caroline had to quell the urge to snap at him. For what seemed the millionth time, she had to remind herself that this wasn't the same Klaus who was in love with her and would take all her controlling ways with an indulgent smile.

"You were supposed to wait until I called you."

Some of her frustration may have leaked into her voice. However, he just smiled in a way she was convinced he thought was charming. It wasn't.

"I got bored, sweetheart. You know I don't do well with boredom."

He then took a seat at the table with them, lounging carelessly as if he didn't have a worry in the world. Maddox did a fair impersonation of him in the seat to the other side of her. After flagging down the waitress, Klaus gestured for her to continue. Caroline again barely managed not to snap at him as he asked Jessie for a drink. When she looked back at Ray, she could see he was eyeing Klaus warily. This was why she wanted to get everything out in the open before Klaus ever showed up.

"As I was saying, there's only one way," at this, she gestured to Klaus. "And it comes with strings."

Klaus made as if to join the conversation, but Caroline's none-too-subtle cough had him leaning back with a mockingly apologetic expression on his face. His attention was quickly caught by the arrival of his drink, and Caroline continued her explanation to Ray.

"We only need a small number of your pack, perhaps six. Half of them will stay with you, the other half will leave with us." When Ray looked about to angrily object, Caroline continued over him. "We're not doing this out of the goodness of our hearts because we feel so bad that your species is essentially dying out. Nothing comes for free in this world, but we're asking for volunteers, not slaves."

Ray didn't look all that convinced and Caroline had to fight against the knot of panic forming in her stomach. Taking a deep breath and leaning in, she brought out her most convincing argument.

"Imagine it. You and your pack will no longer have to fear being discovered by vampires. You won't have to wait until the full moon comes around to strike back at them, hoping they're still around and haven't killed off too many of your friends and family. You'll have protectors that you can trust with the life of your pack because they are pack."

He seemed torn. It was obvious he was reluctant to trust Caroline, but she could also see how tempting the thought of safety for his pack was.

"I can't make this decision. All I can do is talk to my alpha. If she even considers it, she'll want to talk to you herself."

Klaus looked less than pleased but kept silent as Ray wrote down Caroline's number and promised to plead their case and get back to them as soon as possible. As soon as Ray walked out of the bar, however, he broke that silence.

"What's to keep good old Ray from simply hiding out until he believes we've left the area and he's safe?"

Something in his expression told Caroline that he already suspected the answer and was only waiting on her to confirm it. Maddox looked curious but unconcerned, which only confirmed a suspicion she had.

"You of all people know what it's like to have to hide from something when, by all rights, you should be powerful enough to not have to hide from anything. Freedom from the fear and secrecy will make sure he talks to his alpha. Besides, it's not like you didn't have Maddox put a magical lo-jack on him."

Klaus looked as if she'd done something he had completely expected and yet still made him proud. Sometimes he made it hard to separate him in her mind from the Klaus she once knew.

Over the next eight days that became a bit of an issue as they waited to hear if Paige, Ray's alpha, would talk to them. Caroline was convinced that the only reason Klaus didn't try to hunt down the pack in that time was because Ray called them daily to keep them updated. Maybe he had caught wind of Klaus' reputation as an impatient creature with a ruthless temper.

It was also possible that his new hobby of harassing her kept him from getting too bored with waiting. He didn't consider it harassment and went overboard pretending to be offended when she confronted him. He said he was simply getting to know her.

It became something other than mere harassment, however, during the most recent of his 'getting to know you' sessions when she had told him that a dead witch had bonded part of her soul to Caroline and that that was the reason for the witchy feeling Maddox sensed from her. He didn't look very surprised and Caroline asked why. That's when he said that even he was drawn to her light and he could understand someone who loved her wanting to protect her even after death.

And suddenly Caroline had been reminded that, for all his strength, ruthlessness, and iron will, this was the most dangerous part of Klaus for her. He could make her feel like she was something truly amazing, like the world ceased to exist for him when they talked. For a young woman who, she could admit, if only to herself, was insecure and starved for validation, that could become something very addicting. That was why she had to fight the pull she felt toward him; because if she ever let herself fully experience being the center of his attention, she was afraid of what she would do to stay there.

Caroline was close to giving into that pull after a few days of Klaus 'testing' out her ability to sense other supernatural creatures. In all honesty, he barely bothered to hide the fact that it was a series of excuses to have as much physical contact with her as possible and she didn't bother to hide the fact that she saw right through him. It was a dangerous sort of flirtation that could have led to something she might have regretted had Ray not finally called to let them know that Paige would talk to them.

The negotiation went rather smoothly –they already had pack members who were willing to turn and stay as well as members that were willing to turn and leave with Klaus. Caroline would have dearly loved to know what Ray said to convince them because he didn't strike her as a very persuasive person. Not to mention that everyone was eying Klaus, Jules, and Brady with more than a bit of wariness. Before Paige could hand off members of her pack to be turned, however, there was one more thing they needed to talk about.

"Klaus and I need to talk to you. Alone."

It was obvious by the low growls and spike in tension throughout the room that the pack did not like that one bit. Having expected that –and even talked about it beforehand with Klaus –Caroline quickly said it could just be she and Paige. While the pack members still didn't seem to like it, their alpha agreed. They made to follow, but it only took a quick word from Paige to stop them in their tracks. Caroline could see there was a reason she was the alpha.

"There's something we haven't told you about becoming a hybrid. When they're turned, there will be a sire-bond in place." Caroline could see rage quickly building in Paige's eyes –she obviously knew what a sire-bond meant – and rushed to reassure her. "We're going to help them break it before we even leave here. But no one else, including the rest of your pack, can know about them breaking it.

"There's a... cult, that's going to want to use them for a sacrifice. They're going to try and get the hybrids to turn on Klaus so that he will slaughter them all. If everyone who could know about the sire-bond believes the hybrids are still bound, then they'll use that to try and get them killed. Klaus is aware of this, and we can use it to trap the members of this cult while not actually risking the hybrids."

Apparently, whatever good will Ray had planted with his alpha was not exhausted because she looked pacified by Caroline's words. She did ask, though, "Why are you bothering to tell me this now?"

The grin Caroline sent her way was just a little bit guilty. "I'm hoping that you'll get in touch with other alphas, let them know about the deal you've made, see if they're willing to make the same one to protect their packs. Of course, I'm asking that you only tell them about breaking the bond if you trust them to tell no one else. We're not even planning on telling the chosen werewolves until after they've turned."

Paige was silent for a moment, but agreed to see what she could do. She also promised to tell no one about what had been said. They joined the others as plans were made for both turning the chosen werewolves into hybrids – it seemed the pack had decided it deserved a bit of pomp and circumstance – as well as for the 'training' Klaus had said they'd all need to undergo in order to fully control their transformations. Of course, Paige was now aware this would, in reality, be them breaking their bonds and would be done away from the rest of the pack.

That night, back at the surprisingly upscale hotel Klaus had found for them, she told him and Maddox that she wouldn't be sticking around while they unbound the hybrids. Klaus, who still looked less than pleased about helping his hybrids break the sire-bond, argued heatedly against it. She held firm.

"I have a life that I plan on living as much as possible. I'm not going to be like Stefan and repeat high school again and again for all eternity. It's a onetime thing for me, and I want to milk it for all it's worth. That includes summer cheer practice. I will be back by mid-month and you're going to be so busy that you won't even notice I've been gone. Besides, hanging around here probably won't be all that safe for me."

Klaus was quickly in front of her, his hand a barely-there caress against her hair.

"I would protect you from any danger the hybrids could pose to you, Caroline." He seemed reassured by her small smile and murmured acknowledgement.

As she packed the next morning, Klaus teasingly pouted at her as he threw out wilder and wilder arguments for her to stay. He appeared to be resigned to her leaving and seemed to trust that she would return. After all, they did have more packs to find once they were done here.

She zipped the last suitcase and repeated that, they were ready to leave before she got back, they were under no circumstances allowed to leave her stuff behind. His response was to sigh dramatically and huff, "Fine, go off and play human during this monumental step. We will endure without you."

While Caroline was returning to Virginia for her practice, she didn't have enough time to return to Mystic Falls itself. Had she made it home for the July Fourth celebration like she'd wanted to, she would have been dismayed to see that her mother was accompanied by Elijah.

For about three weeks Liz had been juggling time between both Finn and Elijah. Neither one came out and said they had no wish to encounter each other; still, they both had settled into a schedule that ensured just that. As much as part of her wanted to get the two of them talking about their issues, she forcefully reminded herself that she was not getting involved in Mikaelson family dynamics. Her visits from Finn were spent mostly in silence with occasional conversations about modern technology and culture. Mostly so that he could try and get by in this day and age.

A simple business arrangement – that's how those visits from Elijah had started out – and, at first, they were almost boring. Time spent talking about what his brother was currently up to and where he was. Towards the end of that first week, however, they had quickly evolved into what Liz would almost call a friendship. If your definition of friendship came with a healthy dose of flirting. Liz tried to remind herself not to make too much of it; he was probably just a natural flirt. Unfortunately, that reminder didn't stop the flutter in her stomach or the flush in her face that would occasionally occur with his more suggestive remarks.

As his flirting increased, his questions about what his brother was up to and where he might be decreased. As it was, by the time he escorted her – his words, not hers, and she really tried not to read into it – to the town's Fourth of July celebration, it had been nearly a week since he'd even mentioned Klaus. As they walked by various food stands set up for the occasion, the wind gently blowing the skirt of a rarely-worn dress she'd pulled from the back of her closet, she let herself forget that her vampire daughter was on a summer road trip with his hybrid brother and just enjoy the early evening breeze.

She had just managed to focus on the here and now when she and Elijah were approached by one of her deputies. Given that he was in uniform, it was obvious that it was about work and Liz could feel disappointment settle low in her stomach.

"Sheriff Forbes, I didn't realize you had today off."

The combination of his stutter and the blush he was sporting let Liz know that this had nothing to do with police business. Remembering that he had specifically requested to work the celebration, an awkward and uncomfortable feeling took the place of her previous disappointment. She had been trying to encourage his work ambitions while subtly trying to discourage his obvious blossoming crush on her. It didn't appear to be working.

"Well, Adams, once you get to a certain age, you need a break every now and again." She took pity on him when he started to splutter, obviously looking for an appropriate way to deny she was that much older than him. "I'm pretty sure the pyrotechnics could use another once over. I'll see you Tuesday morning, Adams."

The last was said in a kind but firm tone. With any luck, he would be reminded that she was his boss, not a potential bed partner, and in no way interested in making small talk with him. Adams walked off with a slightly disappointed expression and as he did, she caught a smirk on Elijah's face from the corner of her eye.

Turning to him with a challenging brow raised, she asked, "What?"

He didn't reply immediately, instead tucking her hand into his elbow as he led them once again forward through the cheery crowds before answering.

"You always seem to deflect by referencing your age as if you were far older than you actually are. One begins to question why," he finally said.

Ignoring the knowing gleam in his eye, she answered frankly.

"I'm trying to remind him that there is no romance in the cards for us. When bringing up the fact that I'm the boss doesn't deter them, I find reminding them that I'm near old enough to be their mother dampens small flares of infatuation in the more persistent young bucks."

While he looked as if she confirmed something important for him, he didn't comment any further. Watching the fireworks later, though, she couldn't help but get the feeling that they weren't finished with that particular conversation. Perhaps he had figured out the part of her reasoning she hadn't voiced that only applied to him; that she was trying to remind herself that when dealing with someone who was eternally young and beautiful, she really shouldn't set herself up for rejection.

Elijah made pleasant conversation as he drove her home, managing to put her at ease even as he continued with his habit of flirting semi-outrageously. When he turned off the ignition and asked if he could come in for a drink, even though she knew it was dangerously close to giving her libido the wrong idea, she couldn't resist saying yes.

They had just their beers --she got a bit of a kick essentially forcing Elijah to drink something so common-- when she heard a knock at the door. Knowing no one was likely to visit her this late at night and worried it could be Finn with a problem, Liz stood up, setting her empty bottle on the coffee table and went to answer the door.

As she turned into the hallway, she felt a frisson of annoyance when she saw Deputy Adams through the window of her front door. Seeing him now dressed in civvies, she quickly realized that she was going to have to stop playing nice and just shoot him down quickly and cleanly. Still, as she opened the door expecting things to get awkward, a part of her did hope he wasn't here hoping she would suddenly fall into his waiting arms.

"What can I do for you, Adams?"

Honestly, considering how often she has had to walk the line between nice and hostile with him, she should take up diplomacy.

"Hey, Liz, I thought I'd stop by and see how your night went."

It wasn't the piss poor excuse that let her know she'd be playing hard-ass tonight, it was the fact that he'd used her first name. This was the first time she'd ever even gotten a hint he knew her first name wasn't Sheriff. Just as she took a breath to let him down none too gently she saw his posture straighten and his jaw tighten. Stiffly, he said, "I can see you have company, though. I'll see you Tuesday, Sheriff."

Liz watched him stride away down her porch steps and back to his car parked along the curb, preparing herself for whatever she would see when she turned around. Nothing, however, could have prepared her. Leaning against the doorjamb of the open French doors in her hallway, his feet bare, shirt untucked and halfway unbuttoned, and his hair noticeably disheveled for lack of a better word, Elijah presented the very image of someone interrupted mid-make-out.

Liz almost didn't recognize the full-on belly laugh that came out of her. Still amused, she couldn't help but channel her daughter more than a bit when she asked "Seriously?"

Eyes opened wide in comical faux innocence, Elijah spread his arms out slightly, palms up, as if to ask what she could possibly be referring to.

"I don't know why Deputy Adams didn't stay. He looked like he spent a good amount of time getting his hair to flop just so in his face. It really gave him an air of boyish charm."

Liz was chuckling as she walked past Elijah to collect their bottles. She was halfway to the kitchen before it dawned on her what he had said. Turning around she nearly jumped when she found he had followed her and closely at that. Deciding to ignore his closeness, she grinned up at him.

"Elijah, is that why you cut your hair?" She turned back toward the kitchen and began walking again and continued the conversation.

"You really didn't need to be insulted when I told you that your haircut made you look twelve." Liz quickly rinsed out the bottles and threw them in the recycle bin before turning to deliver the final, and in her mind witty, blow. "It was really... cute."

She wouldn't describe the look he leveled at her then as cute. It made her breath shudder and something deep inside her clench as he began closing in on her.

"I was not insulted, dear Lizbet, nor was it vanity that led me to cut my hair. I simply sought to ensure you had one less excuse to use and remind you that, while I may look... marginally younger than you, I have been alive a millennium longer. So, unlike the way things went with your young deputy tonight, I would like you to be completely upfront and honest with me."

Elijah was well within her personal space at this point, his closeness leaving her unable to even point out that her name wasn't Lizbet. He ran the fingertips of his left hand up along her right arm and across her shoulder until his wrist rested against her neck and he could lightly tug at the hair at her nape. Leaning forward, he continued to speak, his breath ghosting across her temple.

"If I let us continue along the path you have set for us, we will be left with nothing save frustrated flirting. However, I believe we can have something so much more pleasurable."

Another tug to her hair sent her head back slightly and Liz was left trying to hold back a moan as he pulled her against his body with his other hand and placed an open-mouthed kiss just under her ear. A small, sharp nip at that very ear and then he was talking again.

"Tell me to stop, and we will return to the way things were, as if this never happened. But what I really want to do, my Lizbet, is kneel down in front of you in this kitchen, reach up under your dress to pull down your underwear. I want to bury my head between your pretty thighs as you ride my tongue. Then I want to take you to your bedroom and see how many ways I can bring you to orgasm in one night before you pass out."

Pulling back he looked in her eyes and Liz felt like he was trying to devour her with just that look.

"In order to do that, in order to do all that I want to, I need you to say 'yes, Elijah' and mean it. Please, Lizbet, let me have what I want."

Though his words could have sounded as if he were begging, his tone was all demand. Part of her felt she should say no on principle given that tone, but why should she deny herself something she wanted? Reaching up, she buried her left hand in his hair and pulled his mouth toward her. He came easily enough, but quickly took the lead in their kiss. It was wide open and dominating, leaving her feeling as though he had claimed part of her. That feeling only left her eager to see what else she could feel with him.

When he pulled away from her mouth, it was only to drag his lips and tongue down her throat and growl against her pulse, "Say it, Lizbet."

Taking a shuddering breath, Liz let go of her doubts and insecurities.

"Yes, Elijah."

[imkylotrash]

What Goes Around

Pairing: Hardin Scott x reader

Request: Could I please request an imagine/fic with Hardin Scott x Reader and basically Hardin of course has his bad boy reputation but this intrigues the reader. She is his complete opposite and finds his rudeness quite funny. Hardin is a little too mean to her one time and makes her cry. It doesn’t occur to Hardin that she likes him and by that point he feels like he has lost his chance to get to know her because of his.. ‘wicked’ charm? You can choose the ending. Anonymous

Tagging: @bitchwhytho​ @music-of-melody​​

He’s watching you give your coffee order and it makes you smile. Everywhere you go, you seem to run into each other. At first, you’d just steal glances then go your separate ways but then it turned into “hello”. He made the first move and asked if you should have your coffee together one day. Ever since than you’d made polite conversation when you ran into each other and you had to admit that something intrigued you about the tattooed boy who refused to care about anyone other than himself. You couldn’t exactly relate to his perspective on life but you wanted to know more, to understand the boy who considered the world a cruel place rather than an opportunity to happy days. 

“This seat taken?” you ask standing with a hot cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. The “Red Queen” series have become something of an obsession for you after finishing the first book. You never thought you’d stray from the classics but lately, YA books had been catching your eye. 

“I see you’re still on the third book,” he smiles and in the same moment letting you know how he feels about YA books. You don’t take it too hard considering he’s not even willing to admit his love for books for anyone other than you. 

“I’m taking my time and enjoying the words.” You have a tendency to get too invested and rush through a book to get to the ending meaning you miss a lot of the little Easter eggs along the way. You’re trying to change that. 

“Hey, no judgement from me.” He’s lying but it’s a cute lie so you’ll allow it. Once you’ve finished your coffee, you stand up grabbing your things. You have exactly ten minutes before your class start but you like to get there early in case you need to do some last-minute preparations. Hardin remains seated and you remain neutral in regards to his lack of motivation when it comes to college. 

I’ll be going classes now. Want to come?” Okay, maybe not that neutral. He shakes his head smiling and you know what that means. It takes three days before you run into him again. This time at the library where you reach for the same book which sounds completely absurd and something that would only happen in one of your books. It’s a cute moment though. 

“I guess great minds think alike,” you say and he scoffs.

“Please. You wish you were as clever as me.” He offers you the book about to sit down when he spots some of his friends outside. You know he’s been a little vague about who you are considering just how different you are to them and frankly, you don’t mind. Hardin is an interesting character because there’s more to him than just the casual alcoholic teen while the people he surrounds himself with at those frat parties really don’t have much else going on for them. You went one time and you’d never been more bored in your life. 

“I should go,” he says Within minutes he’s out the door walking in the direction away from his “friends”. After that you don’t spot him for a while or maybe he’s avoiding you to avoid the questions his friends will inevitable have. Either way, you find yourself missing his sarcastic comments. You hadn’t realised just how much of an impression he’d made on you until he wasn’t around. But he comes back to you eventually. 

“Hey,” he says when he spots you at the coffee house. 

“I thought you’d moved city,” you tease pushing out the chair across from you with your foot. He sits down sliding a book across the table. 

“As an apology,” he grins. You turn the book over to see the cover and you can’t help but smile. 

“You remembered.” One of the first conversations between you and Hardin had been about ecocriticism and a book called “The Road” that you’d borrowed from the library more times than you could count. You’d discussed the topic in class where your professor had recommended this book and now Hardin had gotten it for you. 

“You wouldn’t shut up about the book for at least five hours. How could I not?” He shrugs it off like it’s no big deal but it still means a lot to you. Now you could read the book whenever you felt like it. And he’d gotten the original cover rather than the movie cover. It would’ve been the perfect gift if his friends hadn’t shown up and ruined everything. You see the change in him the second they enter the coffee house. 

“Hardin, who’s this?” Jace asks with hungry eyes making you feel incredibly uncomfortable. 

“Just a friend,” Hardin offers not wanting to give any information to these people. 

“Sure, friend. Do you feel the same way, honey?” Jace asks making the rest of the guys snicker. Before you have a chance to answer, Hardin opens his mouth and ruins everything. 

“Yes, friend. I mean look at her. Not exactly my type, is it? I mean, could it get anymore vanilla?” This earns him a high five from one of the guys but it cracks your heart. You’ve never thought much about your close or the way you looked because you thought the inside counted a hell of a lot more than the outside. But hearing that the idea of being with you seemed so ludicrous hurt more than you liked to admit. 

“I should get going.” You don’t look at Hardin when you leave and you don’t bring the book with you. If this is how he thinks of you then you don’t want anything from him. And it’s not even the fact that he considers you a friend. If that’s all it was, you’d be fine. It’s how easy it was for him to degrade you that really hurt. You tell yourself you won’t cry but it’s a lost battle as you head home. Unfortunately, you don’t reach home before he catches up to you.

“Leave me alone, Hardin,” you say picking up the pace. You’re determined to reach your apartment without stopping but of course, you can’t help yourself when it’s Hardin.

“Are you mad at me?” 

“Mad at you? Of course, I’m mad at you!” you yell not caring who hears you at this point.

“You of all people should realise what it’s like to be judged on the way you look. I like the way I look and I absolutely refuse to let you make me feel bad about it!” You don’t care if he said it because of his friends or not, it’s the fact that it came to him so easily. That means he’s thought it before regardless of the situation at the coffee house. 

“It was a joke!” he yells back opting for defensive rather than just apologise. You’re not doing this. You turn around and this time he doesn’t follow you. It’s weeks before you dare return to the coffee house. You don’t want to meet him again. Instead you dive head first into the universe of Jane Austen thinking he could’ve been your Mr. Darcy with his sour attitude and soft spot for you but it didn’t turn out that way. But your need for good coffee eventually win over your fear of seeing him again. The plan is in, order, pay and leave. It’s just not that simple once you’re inside. 

“You forgot this.” He places “The Road” in front of you as you’re waiting for your coffee. You can’t believe he’s held onto to it since that day. You figured he would’ve just chucked it in the bin. 

“I’m really sorry for what I said. It was rude and thoughtless. You deserve better.” It’s a good apology but you can’t help but think what the insult will be the next time his friends catch you together. 

“You’re right. I deserve better.” You get your coffee and head outside. 

“Throw me a bone here. I said I was sorry.” Of course, Hardin follows you outside refusing to let this go. 

“Hardin, you’re only sorry because I called you out on it. You don’t actually care that it hurt me.” He’s not the first guy who thought he could walk all over you and he won’t be the last but you refuse to accept that treatment. You deserve a lot better than that. 

“I’m sorry because it hurt you. I didn’t think you’d read so much into it,” he defends himself making it clear to you that it’s a pointless discussion. He’s not going to understand why what he said was hurtful despite his own appearance and the comments he’s received. 

“How could I not? I’m sitting there thinking we might have a shot and then you pull the rug out from under me. I’m not playing these games with you.” 

“What?” You don’t bother repeating yourself instead using this moment of shock to hurry away. You manage to avoid him for another week before he corners you on campus. 

“You can’t just throw something like that out in the world and then leave. It’s been going round and round in my head.” He has a hand on each side of you leaning against the wall. It’s effective for keeping you in place and distracting you from why you’re actually upset with him. 

“I never thought you’d like me like that. Shit, I would’ve done things very differently if I ever thought I had a chance.” This time you’re the one in shock. You didn’t think he’d put so much thought into what you said last time. 

“What would you have done differently?” Despite vowing to yourself that you’re done with Hardin, you find yourself curious once again. This bad boy persona with a loving man hidden inside seems like an impossible paradox.

“I would’ve kept you well clear of those idiots from the frat house. Bought you flowers maybe. Taken you to dinner. Bought you a hell of lot more books.” You don’t want to forgive him but it’s hard to think when he’s this close to you. 

“I can start now if you’d like.” He places a hand on your cheek and his touch gives you chills. You inhale sharply telling yourself not to give into him but your body has already thrown in the white towel. He leans down stopping inches from your lips. 

“I really am sorry. It won’t happen again.” Instead of answering, you lean up closing the gap between you. It’s the first kiss but definitely not the last. 

[animedaddymilkers]

Kinkmas 2020: Day 11

Prompt: Overstimulation w/ Tsunade

Genre: Smut/18+ || Tags: Overstim, Oral, Fingering, Strap-on, Soft Dom || Characters: Tsunade Senju, Female Reader || read it on ao3 here

"Lady Hokage- Oh, where is Shizune?" You burst into the office with important papers, only questioning how easy it was to enter after you were in the room.

You were met with an indifferent voice, replying to you behind stacks of papers, "I sent her home. She was overtired. I promised I'd stay here but that doesn't mean I have to do anything."

The blonde snickered deviously at the loophole she apparently found and the papers in your hands became heavier, "Well… Maybe you should do something while you're here… with all due respect, m'lady."

"Perhaps you're right, I should do something. Come here, (Y/N). What do you have there?"

You swallowed hard and walked around to the side of her desk so she could see you, "It's unfortunately a few more reports, m'lady."

The disappointment on her face was obvious as she sighed heavily. She took the papers from you, looking over them briefly, "That's all this stupid job is- just paperwork and more paperwork."

"Have you tried making it into a game of sorts? To make it more interesting!"

"A game. Hmm, I haven't thought about it before," she rubbed her chin, mulling over the new idea before grinning, "How about we make it a game right now? Say, every time I make you cum, I'll completely finish one whole report."

As far as you could tell, she wasn't intoxicated, which was surprising and made her words even that more shocking. The proposition seemed to come from out of the blue, but the more you thought about it the more you realized Tsunade may have just been planning this for a while. From time to time you could swear you saw her gaze lingering on you, but brushed it off as you overreacting. It's not like you weren't also interested, hell Tsunade was easily the most attractive woman in the entire village. If someone said otherwise, they were probably lying. You looked at her for a moment, waiting for her to break out laughing and say it was just a joke. But that never came, instead her expression changed slightly to show she was waiting for an answer. You cleared your throat and took in a deep breath before speaking.

"That sounds like a fun game. What do you get out of it though?"

"Hmm, good point. How about-- If you tap out before 15 then I get to take you on a date... and don’t finish any reports?"

True to her reputation, Tsunade was terrible at gambling. Did she really think her taking you out on a date was a loss for you? Still, you were determined to make it to that mark, if not only for Shizune's sake.

"Deal." The single word from you has Tsunade standing up, walking past you and over to the plush couch decorating the side of her office. She sat down, fixing her outfit before looking at you and patting her thick thighs. Not about to back out now, you obeyed and approached her, swinging a leg around hers to sit yourself on her lap. Her hands slid up your hips to your waist, feeling your sides before slipping down to grip your ass. You let out a content sigh and leaned in to kiss her, her soft lips welcoming yours. She was quick to discard your shirt, tossing it onto the floor before also removing your pants. Patience wasn't exactly one of Tsunade's attributes, but you weren't about to complain. Within no time you were stripped completely bare for her, your body being laid down on the couch.

She leaned back for a moment to truly take in the sight of you, fingertips just ghosting over your skin. You shivered slightly when she brushed over your nipples and she tugged on them to further tease you. But she didn’t linger there for long, as her real mission laid lower, her hands feeling down your pelvis to spread your legs apart. The blonde laughed quietly as she saw how wet you were already, but she didn’t say anything because she knew if her pants were off as well then she’d be equally if not more wet. The first orgasm always took the longest to get to so Tsunade was eager to start your little game, two slender fingers slipping inside of you. Your content sigh was all she needed to start slowly pumping them in and out of you, coaxing more juices from your pussy.

The dull stretch in your core felt good and you began to press your hips down to meet her fingers as they pushed back in. Her pace was leisurely and calculated, pressing into you deeply, trying to find your sweet spot. After you nearly begged her, she slid in a third finger, stretching your walls more. The hand that wasn’t thrusting in and out of you slid up from your thigh to lazily rub at your clit, reveling in the soft gasp you let out. Tsunade kissed along your hip bones, leaving sweet love bruises as she went. You played with your nipples, pulling on them to heighten the pleasure that was building. It was pointless to deny yourself the inevitable and when you felt your first orgasm creep up on you, you embraced it wholly, gripping the sides of the couch as you drenched Tsunade’s face in your juices.

“One down, fourteen more to go, think you can make it?”

“Definitely.” Your optimism might have been a bit premature and maybe you would regret those words after a few more orgasms, but you had sheer willpower and determination on your side.

After briefly checking in with you, Tsunade continued her actions, fingers resuming fucking you and not giving you much time to recover. This was most likely going to take all night as it was, so why drag it out? This time though she decided to up the ante and leaned down, allowing her tongue to kitten lick teasingly at your clit. You were already sensitive from the first orgasm and now with her added tongue, your legs shook slightly. Her fingers curled inside of you, drawing a gasp from your lips that made her smirk. In a moment of boldness, you reached down and tangled your fingers into the Hokage's hair, tugging gently. Tsunade would have laughed and teased you if her mouth wasn't full of your pussy at the moment. She flattened her tongue against your clit before sucking on it as her fingers continued to pump in and out of you.

It didn't take long for Tsunade to find your g-spot and once she did you were at her beck and whim. Your second orgasm crashed on you hard and because Tsunade didn't let up it sent you straight into a third orgasm. Sure, the older blonde did want to take you on a date, but she also wanted to see just how far she could push you. That, and she was convinced there was no way you could possibly last to the fifteenth orgasm. She removed her fingers from you and cleaned her hand off, moaning quietly as she licked your juices up. Then she ducked her head back down, tongue sliding in to replace her fingers. It slowly pushed in and out of you as one of her soft fingers rubbed at your sensitive clit. You spasmed at the touch and winced to yourself, really wondering if you could last. Your body was in a constant tight knot now and thanks to Tsunade's relentless tongue. A whine left your lips as you felt yet another orgasm coming on and your legs once again shook around Tsunade's head.

The Fifth Hokage didn't give you a break until after your eighth orgasm and you couldn't thank her enough. Your legs were in a constant state of shaking and your pussy was so sensitive it was just constantly dripping juices. Now, she was sucking and playing with your tits, mildly curious to see if she could coax an orgasm from you with just your tits. Personally, you didn't think it was possible, you always had needed other stimulation in order to fully go over the edge. But, tonight wasn't exactly an ordinary 'cum and we're finished' type of night. No, Tsunade was purposely testing your limits and just what your body could do. Her mouth sucks on your left nipple while her fingers toy with your right, occasionally leaving to massage your entire boob. Your mounds of fat felt heavenly being massaged, to the point you were almost disappointed when her nimble fingers went back to your nipple. She switched sides, the cool air hitting your saliva covered tit and making you shiver. You laid your head back again, closing your eyes as the waves of pleasure kept shocking through you. With every suck you felt it in your core and much to your surprise, after Tsunade sucked particularly hard and twisted the other nipple, you found your toes curling and gasping as you climaxed.

Her mouth parted from your chest and she wiped her mouth with a smirk before leaving the couch. You lifted your head as much as you could to watch her figure saunter over to her desk. Curious as to what she was doing you lifted yourself up before blushing at the sight of the hot pink glitter strap on. In her hand she twirled a bottle of lube around as she came back to the couch. A cocky look on her face, she secured the fake cock around her waist and lubed it up.

"Ready to go for six more, princess?"

You licked your lips out of instinct and nodded before quickly adding a verbal, "Yes please, m'lady."

Tsunade laughed at your response, you looked so fucked out already yet were so desperate for more. Just her touching the insides of your thighs had them shaking again. In all honesty, she probably could have gone in without lube considering how soaking wet you were. Still, she lubed up her fake cock and slowly slid it inside of you. The pressure of being spread apart nearly had you cumming again but you somehow held on. Well, you held on for two more thrusts at least and then you were babbling incoherent pleas and cuss words. Five more. Kami, you only had five more orgasms to go before you could say you won. Granted, you could potentially go past fifteen if you really wanted to drown Tsunade in reports, but at this point that wasn't looking like a feasible prospect.

Tears were running down your face and your chest was heaving, the wet squelch of your abused pussy filling the Hokage's office. Thankfully most of the workers went home, but part of you knew that some poor ANBU member was being forced to watch you get rawed by the Hokage. Maybe that idea just made it all the more fun, after all it sure wasn't bothering Tsunade. Her hips fucked into you at a teasing pace, enough to keep you on the brink of pleasure but not enough to send you over. She kept it up for far too long before she quickened her pace and snapped her hips, reveling in the scream you gave her as you came yet again. Her fake cock didn't stop, quickly hitting your g-spot over and over and immediately sent you into another orgasm. Your pathetic legs couldn't even keep themselves upright, having to be slung over the blonde's shoulders as she fucked you.

Her nimble fingers came down to flick your tortured clit, laughing as it sent your hips spasming. She rubbed it skillfully, content on staring at the absolute fucked out expression on your face.

"Come on, princess, just three more and you win, you can give me three more can't you? Or are you going to tap out on me?"

Tsunade truly was terrible with gambles, if she had been questioning your will instead of praising you and coaxing more orgasm from you, you probably would have tapped out. But instead, she used that ridiculous pet name in that stupidly hypnotic voice of hers. Your mind was blank and your mouth kept making noises but you're not exactly what noises they were. Your mind and body were so far apart from each other at the moment, but you weren't about to complain. Her cock was still fucking in and amount of you, rubbing against your g-spot roughly as her fingers still played with your clit. Tsunade grinned as you shook harder and came on her cock, pressing her fingers into your clit harder. Her pace didn't let up and even though you clawed at the cover on the couch she kept going. She kept going and fucked you right into another orgasm and wasn't about to stop there.

Your whole body was shaking and tensing up as you gasped and whined loudly. The pleasure didn't die down and you let out a wail as you came for the fifthteenth time, your juices squirting out and covering Tsunade's lower stomach and dripping down her thighs. Your vision was blurry and you vaguely remember Tsunade finally pulling out and cleaning you up. Still you whined and wriggled around, body so used to getting fucked that the absence of it was almost painful. Seeing as now you were just left with a throbbing abused body and no pleasure coming with it. For a moment, you thought Tsunade was going to continue and you were going to have to force yourself to form the words to tap out, but she knew you were done in. Instead, she was pressing soft kisses along your still shaking thighs, trailing them up until she met your mouth.

"Look at you, you did so well, princess. You take a nap and I'll get started on my reports. Okay? And when you wake up I'll get us some food." Although she technically lost, Tsunade could barely count this as a loss. And even though this now meant she had reports to finish, she was content in hoping that this wouldn't be just a one time thing. Perhaps she should turn her work into a game more often.

hope you enjoyed! remember likes & reblogs help me reach more people! :D

[bevioletskies]

(i’m caught between) goodbye and i love you

summary: Sometimes, Klavier thinks a little too much about how he never knew the last time he saw Apollo was going to be the last time he saw Apollo. So, when Apollo finally returns home from Khura’in, Klavier finds himself stuck, unsure of when to finally tell Apollo how he feels - especially when it seems like Apollo isn’t quite ready to confess, either.

word count: 16.9k | read on ao3

a/n: For @klapollo-week, day seven of seven (prompt: "catharsis"). All seven of my fics take place in the same continuity! However, each can be read as a stand-alone, with the exception of day seven being a sequel to day five.

Mild spoiler warning for Spirit of Justice; warning for brief mentions of alcohol and one scene where a character has a panic attack. Fic title is from the song (I'm Caught Between) Goodbye And I Love You by the Carpenters.

“What do you think, Gavin, which do you - hey, Gavin? Are you listening?”

Klavier startled at the sound of Apollo’s voice, too lost in his own thoughts to realize someone had been talking to him. He looked over at Apollo, who was standing underneath one of the courthouse’s most prolific picture windows, practically glowing in the early afternoon sun. Klavier’s breath hitched at the sight. “Ah - my apologies, Herr Forehead, I didn’t catch that. What were you saying?”

“Ema said we should all do something that doesn’t involve murder for once.” Apollo looked up from his phone, wincing. “Er, that is, something that doesn’t involve solving a murder for once. She suggested drinks, though Kay apparently prefers laser tag. As if I don't get enough bumps and bruises from helping Trucy out on weekends.”

“Ah, the life of a magician’s brother,” Klavier teased, smiling easily. “But, wait - do you mean to say Fräulein Detective actually wants to hang out with me? Or are you inviting me? Either way, I find it hard to believe.”

“No one’s more surprised than me,” Apollo drawled. “But seriously, Ema says Kay is making her ask you through me, ‘cos that totally makes sense. Anyway, drinks or laser tag? Or, y’know, both? They’re thinking this weekend since they’re going to some forensics convention next weekend. Did not know those existed. Do you think they give out swag bags full of fingerprint powder?”

“I would advise against it if they did,” Klavier said, chuckling. He then slipped his hands into his pockets, shooting Apollo an apologetic grimace. “Sorry, Forehead, you’ll have to have a good time without me. I have a dentist appointment, some meetings...you know how it is. Maybe next time, ja?”

“Sure, I’ll let you know whenever that is,” Apollo replied with a nonchalant shrug; he sent a quick text, presumably to Ema, then pocketed his phone. “Anyway, I should go find Mr. Wright and head back to the agency. So, uh...see you when I see you, I guess.”

“Auf Wiedersehen, baby,” Klavier said, winking. Apollo rolled his eyes, turning on his heel and striding away, waving Klavier off over his shoulder. “Don’t have too good a time without me, though, ja?” Apollo’s wave instantly turned into a middle finger.

Barely two weeks later, Klavier found himself replaying the rather mundane conversation in his head over and over again as he walked into his superior’s office, his hands shoved into his pockets to hide how hard they were shaking. “Willkommen zurück, Herr Edgeworth. How was your flight? Smooth, I hope.”

“Smoother than what conspired in Khura’in, to be sure,” Edgeworth replied, neatly setting his teacup down in its saucer. “Don’t worry, Prosecutor Gavin, I’m still getting everything in order. I doubt you’ll have much work to do today, bar any last-minute cases coming in.”

“Danke, sir, good to know.” Klavier glanced briefly in the direction of Edgeworth’s custom chessboard, his red knights and blue pawns, just so he wouldn’t have to look at its owner’s steely gaze. “So, er - ”

“Out with it, Prosecutor Gavin,” Edgeworth said, sighing wearily. “I can tell you have something on your mind. I’m afraid I can’t give you the exact details of what happened, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

“Ah - ja, I know, I - I was just wondering if…” Klavier hesitated. “...if everyone is...okay. Safe and sound, so to speak.”

Edgeworth’s face softened. “Yes, everyone’s perfectly fine. Wright, Ms. Fey, Ms. Cykes, and Trucy are all fine.”

Klavier blinked. “Wait, but - what about Herr Fore - Herr Justice? What...did he…”

“I should have known that was who you were really curious about,” Edgeworth said knowingly, looking at Klavier over the tops of his glasses. His expression, gentle, almost sympathetic, made Klavier’s stomach churn. “Mr. Justice decided to stay behind in Khura’in indefinitely. He’s looking to help rebuild their legal system from the ground up.”

Klavier felt as if his heart had dropped right through to the floor. “He’s...he’s not coming back?” He could barely hear the sound of his own voice over the rush of his pulse pounding in his ears.

“Eventually, perhaps, but not anytime soon,” Edgeworth replied. “My apologies, Prosecutor Gavin. I know you two were…”

“Close?” Klavier let out a bitter, hollow laugh. “Nein, not at all. We were barely even friends.”

Edgeworth straightened up in his seat, and then, to Klavier’s astonishment, removed his glasses. It was unnerving to see such warmth in his superior’s eyes, especially when he knew Edgeworth didn’t think much of him in the first place. Not after what had happened all those years ago, even though it hadn’t really been him. “Let me amend my previous statement, then. I know you two had a...connection of sorts.”

“Ja, through...through someone I’d rather not talk about.” Klavier cleared his throat. “Danke for letting me know, Herr Edgeworth. It’s...good to see Herr Justice making something of himself.”

“He's definitely an admirable young man,” Edgeworth replied, nodding slowly. “I can see why Wright took a liking to him. I can see why you took a liking to him.”

“Ah, well,” Klavier said, coughing again. “Anyway, I should leave you to it, sir. Have a good rest of your day, ja? I’ll be in my office if anything comes up.”

“Of course.” Edgeworth neatly slid his glasses back on, then turned his attention to his work laptop. “Take care, Prosecutor Gavin.” Nodding at the dismissal, Klavier bowed his head and left Edgeworth’s office, his footsteps noticeably heavier than they’d been when he first entered it. He took a few heaving breaths, then shut himself in his own office and let out a small, silent sob.

_____

“I see you’re moping again, Gavin-dono. Must be a day that ends in ‘y’.”

“Bitte, Herr Blackquill, I’m perfectly fine,” Klavier said, clutching his mug of tea a little tighter than necessary. “My trial yesterday? Perfekt. The weather during my morning run earlier today? Perfekt. The leftovers I brought for lunch today? Perfekt, so long as Herr Payne doesn’t break the microwave again before I get there...I don’t know how he manages to do that on a weekly basis. Anyway, as you can see, I’ve never been better.”

“What a sad testament to your mental state if that were true.” Simon dropped into the seat opposite him, his hands resting on top of the breakroom table, his intense gaze focused on Klavier’s face. Klavier didn’t find him as intimidating as everyone else did, especially not after he’d witnessed Simon sing a drunken duet with Kay, entirely unprompted, at an office holiday party. No amount of threats or glares could get Klavier to delete the video evidence off his backup hard drive. “Luckily for you, it’s entirely false. You’ve been acting strangely for weeks now, and I know the reason why.”

“Do you really?” Klavier sipped his tea. “I thought you didn’t, quote-unquote, ‘care to stick your nose in my absurd affairs’. After all, I’m the silly one of the prosecutor’s office, am I not?” Simon cocked his head slightly, perplexed. “Ah, that Prosecutor Gavin, what an odd one he is. All style and no substance, always speaking in that accent that no one believes is real, always spouting nonsense and song lyrics and little else.”

“Self-hatred doesn’t suit you, so I suggest you cease this pitiful act at once,” Simon said, frowning. “You’re a confident man, Gavin-dono. I’d even say your confidence is fully justified, foppish nature aside. And yet, here you are, torn up over Justice-dono’s absence like a heartbroken teenager.”

“I am not torn up,” Klavier sniffed, setting his mug down with a sharp clunk. “I’m happy to hear that Herr Forehead has found his true calling. A far cry from the loud, nervous rookie he was when we first met. Now, he’s just loud.”

“...hmph. Yes, that piercing voice of his certainly rivals Taka’s,” Simon replied, taking a moment to scratch the underside of his bird’s chin. Klavier didn’t like the way Taka was eyeing his hair; he suspected Taka was fighting against his instincts to make a nest.

“Maybe still a little nervous.” Klavier paused. “I imagine seeing him stand in a Khura’inese court must be quite...something.”

“I didn’t sit here with the intention of listening to you dance around your romantic feelings towards Justice-dono, you know,” Simon informed him. “It’s exhausting and pointless, and a waste of my time.”

Klavier averted his eyes from Simon’s face, finding himself oddly fascinated with a water stain on the opposite wall, right beside the notice board. “Why did you sit here, then?”

“Because...I know a lonely person when I see one.” Simon let the silence linger for a moment; Klavier wasn’t sure which of them favored dramatic pauses more. “Even Athena told me you seemed...not yourself. Though you’ve been performing your prosecutorial duties just fine, she said you were distant...distracted. Is it the lack of companionship, perhaps?”

“You and Herr Edgeworth seem to be under the impression that Forehead and I were friends,” Klavier said evenly, his tone growing increasingly irritated. “The truth is, Herr Blackquill - since you seem unusually interested for someone who barely says two words to me most mornings - that Apollo was my friend, but I wasn’t his. Is that what you wanted to hear? Has your analysis of my psyche scratched your itch?”

Like Edgeworth, Simon’s face almost seemed to soften. “I had no desire to rile you up, but...I see that I’ve done it, anyway. I see that I’ve overstepped. Forgive me, Gavin-dono.” Klavier looked up at him, stunned. Simon merely stood, smoothing out the front of his coat. Even Taka’s expression seemed apologetic. “Find someone to talk to, if you haven’t already; it will do you a world of good. I heard many a story from my fellow prisoners by simply offering to lend an ear. I think you’d find the process of opening up to be quite...illuminating. Freeing, even.”

“I’m sure I would.” Klavier took another sip and said nothing else.

_____

“Mr. Gavin! I thought I saw you in the audience, but I couldn’t believe it!”

Laughing, Klavier held out the bouquet of red roses in his arms for her to take. “Alles Gute zum Geburtstag, fräulein, what a perfect way to celebrate your eighteenth. You were as magical as ever, though who would ever expect any less?”

Beaming, Trucy accepted his flowers, then practically launched herself right at him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He barely managed to catch her in time. “Thank you so much! Ah, these are so beautiful - and they smell great, too!” She stepped back, taking a generous whiff before exhaling happily. “Hey, do you wanna drop by my dressing room for a sec? I have to go sign autographs and stuff, but I’m sure Athena would love to say hi!”

“Sure,” Klavier agreed. “Lead the way.” He followed Trucy down the backstage corridor, coming to a stop in front of a door with a gold nameplate in the shape of a silk top hat. Klavier involuntarily shuddered; the Gramarye seal had always been a sore spot for him, no matter how many good memories outweighed the bad. Trucy opened the door, revealing that it wasn’t just Athena who was waiting inside, but a whole group of people - Athena, the two Fey women whose names Klavier vaguely remembered from Trucy’s stories, Detective Gumshoe, and an odd, almost sad-looking girl wearing a traditional costume. However, Klavier’s eyes went straight to the two people conversing by Trucy’s dressing table - Phoenix Wright and Vera Misham.

Phoenix turned at the sound of the door opening. His eyes widened slightly when he saw who it was. “This is becoming a real party now, hey, Truce?” he teased, lightly ruffling his daughter’s hair. Trucy stuck her tongue out at him, then went to carefully place Klavier’s flowers among the dozens of others by her costume rack. Phoenix’s expression tightened somewhat. “Prosecutor Gavin, it’s - it’s good to see you. Trucy swore she spotted you in the audience, but I guess my eyes were never as sharp as hers.”

“I know her party is tomorrow, but I wouldn’t dare pass up the chance to watch her birthday extravaganza,” Klavier said smoothly. He felt as if Vera’s eyes were burning holes in the side of his face.

“So you’re Prosecutor Gavin, huh?” The older Fey woman - Maya, if Klavier remembered correctly - sidled right up to him with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Trucy and Athena have told me all about you. I hear you’re different from the other prosecutors me and Nick had to deal with back in the day!”

The door opened behind Klavier. “Are you talking about us, Maya Fey?” He turned on his heel to see Edgeworth and Franziska von Karma standing in the doorway, both impeccably dressed as always, carrying identical bouquets of white lilies and blue delphinium in their arms.

“Auntie Franzy!” Trucy shrieked, barreling across the room to toss herself into Franziska’s arms, much like she had done to Klavier just moments ago. “Daddy said you weren’t gonna fly in until tomorrow!”

“And miss your performance? I would be a foolishly foolish fool if I did,” Franziska huffed, kissing Trucy on the cheek. “You will receive the rest of our presents tomorrow. I hear your fool of a father refuses to let you wear makeup despite the fact that you’d like to, and I am here to rectify that parenting mistake. You’re eighteen now, after all; you should be able to do as you please.”

“Within reason,” Edgeworth added, shooting Franziska a withering look. “Don’t encourage her too much, Franziska. I think we're all too familiar with Trucy’s...imagination.”

“Miles Edgeworth, how dare you question my - ”

Klavier quickly retreated into a corner of the dressing room as everyone’s voices grew louder and louder; clearly, his presence had been completely forgotten. He spotted the younger Fey woman, Pearl, conversing with the sad-looking girl - Jinxie, he heard her name was - while Maya and Detective Gumshoe chatted happily with Edgeworth and Franziska. Trucy had left to sign autographs for her fans, leaving Phoenix to turn back to Vera, who was still eyeing Klavier warily.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Klavier startled suddenly at the sound of Athena’s voice. He turned to see her perched on the vanity, legs swinging over the edge, smiling at him encouragingly. “You seem a little lost, Prosecutor Gavin. Everything okay?”

Sighing, Klavier leaned against the wall, glancing down at the toes of his Doc Martens. “Don’t tell me Herr Blackquill asked you to keep an eye on me.”

“Hardly!” Athena exclaimed; she almost seemed offended by his insinuation. “You just seem a little...quiet, that’s all.”

“Well…” Klavier looked back up, shooting her a stilted smile. “Everyone here is either someone I don’t know, someone I work with, or someone whose life I ruined. Forgive me for feeling a little...cornered.”

“C’mon, you didn’t ruin their lives,” Athena said, hopping down so she could lightly punch him in the arm. “I heard the whole story from Apollo ages ago, and he says it wasn’t you. He says you were just a…a schachfigur in someone else’s game.”

“A pawn, in other words.” Klavier chuckled despite himself. “Ja, if you want to be generous about it...or if you want to say that I’m easily swayed. Did Herr Forehead really say that?”

“He sure did! He talks about you all the time,” Athena added with an enthusiastic nod. “I mean, you annoy him - a lot - but he’s always mentioning how decent and honest you are. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think, well...nah, probably not.”

“Probably not,” Klavier echoed, trying his best to ignore his racing heart. The last thing he wanted to do was have hope. “Anyway, I don’t think I’ll be sticking around much longer. Don’t want to get in the way.”

“Huh? You’re not getting in the way of anything!” Athena protested. “Are you sure you won’t stay?”

Klavier shook his head, pushing himself off the wall and straightening up, smoothing out the creases in his hoodie. “Nein, I should make an early night of it. I have to meet my personal trainer bright and early, after all. But I’ll see you at Trucy’s party tomorrow, ja?”

Athena hesitated. “Ja, of course,” she chirped, plastering on an uncertain smile. “And hey, if you ever need a running partner, you have my number!”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Klavier promised, surprising himself by how true that was. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone running with someone who wasn’t his personal trainer. “Gute Nacht, fräulein.”

“G’night,” Athena said, squeezing his shoulder before letting him go. Nodding, Klavier deftly weaved his way through the crowded dressing room and slipped out the door. A few heads turned his way, but no one seemed interested in saying their goodbyes, nor was he all that interested in offering his own, either. The moment he stepped into the corridor, he heard a startled gasp, a choked breath, that almost made him jump.

“Ach - my apologies, I didn’t mean to - Trucy?”

Leaning against the wall opposite her dressing room door was Trucy, her eyes wide and suspiciously wet. “Oh - Mr. Gavin, d-don’t tell me you’re leaving already!”

“I have a session with my - are you alright, fräulein?” Klavier asked, closing the door behind him, then approaching her slowly, carefully. “You look…”

“ - like I’ve been crying?” Trucy let out a wet laugh, pulling a tissue out of nowhere and hastily wiping her eyes. “Don’t you cry after a big performance, Mr. Gavin? You know, that rush of adrenaline, that boost of energy, that feeling of relief - it’s all a part of being a performer! Especially on a stage as big as this!”

“Natürlich, I’ve absolutely wept tears of joy after a gut show. But this?” Klavier gestured in her direction. “This...it’s something else, isn’t it?”

“I - it’s just…” Trucy sniffled. “You won’t tell anyone, right?”

“Not if you don’t want me to,” Klavier said softly. “Though maybe Herr Wright should hear this another time, too.”

“I don’t wanna bother Daddy,” Trucy said, shaking her head. “Besides, I...I don’t wanna make him feel bad!”

“Bad?” Klavier repeated, confused. “What do you mean?”

Trucy took a moment to blow her nose. Then, she managed a small smile in Klavier’s direction. “It’s stupid, but...when I was in there earlier, and I-I saw all of my friends and family together, I started thinking about...you know. The rest of my family. All of the Gramaryes, all gone.” She sniffled noisily again. “Mommy and Daddy and Grandpa, they - th-they never got to see me grow up. And Uncle Valant, he’s still in prison, a-and - so now it’s just me. Just me. I have to carry on the family legacy, but no one’s here to teach me how!”

Klavier’s eyes widened in shock. “Trucy…”

“But if I tell Daddy - Phoenix, I mean - that I’ve been thinking about Mommy and Daddy, he’s gonna...I just can’t,” Trucy continued, shaking her head vehemently. “If he finds out, he’s gonna feel like...like he failed me. And he didn’t, not one bit, but - when I first started living with him, he said he felt like that all the time. Like he was doing it all wrong.” She swallowed, but her throat seemed to be stuck. “And...I’ve, um, I’ve been thinking about Apollo, too.”

“You were?” Klavier asked, his mouth twisting. “Why?”

“I know I’ve only known him for a few years, but...it feels like I’ve known him forever. Like we were always meant to be best friends, you know?” Trucy was now fiddling with the ends of her cape, avoiding Klavier’s eyes. “It’s my birthday, a-and he’s not here. He called yesterday to say he wouldn’t be able to talk today, so we had a little celebration together, just the two of us. It was nice, but it just...it wasn’t the same.”

“He’ll come back eventually, ja?” Klavier said gently. “You said that was part of his plan.”

“‘Eventually’ is looking further and further away,” Trucy said with a wry smile. “But I-I know I gotta be okay with it. He’s doing really important stuff in Khura’in, after all!” She then nudged him. “You should call him sometime - he’s talked about some really cool cases that I bet you’d be interested in.”

“I doubt he’d want to hear from me, of all people, especially if he’s as busy as he sounds,” Klavier chuckled.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Mr. Gavin,” Trucy teased, elbowing him again. “He only just told me yesterday that he misses you…‘in a weird way’. That’s practically a glowing review, coming from Polly!”

Klavier felt his heartbeat race once more. “Ah, well, then maybe I should consider it. How could I not, when I might get to hear such generous praise myself?” Trucy burst into laughter, her face finally relaxing for the first time since Klavier had approached her.

They lingered in companionable silence for a moment, hearing nothing but their own steadying breaths and the muffled sounds of what seemed like absolute chaos coming from inside Trucy’s dressing room. Klavier wasn’t sure if he wanted to know why it sounded like Franziska was lecturing at least three different people at the same time. “Thanks for hearing me out, Mr. Gavin.”

“Bitte schön, though I’m not sure if I was any help at all,” Klavier admitted.

“Of course you were!” Trucy exclaimed, straightening up. “I feel better now, honest. Just talking about all that stuff really helped, even if I’m still not exactly sure what to do.”

“Hopefully you will soon, ja?” Klavier moved away from the wall, flashing her a genuine smile. “But if you ask me, you’re already doing a wunderschön job of upholding the Gramarye name, and I’m sure if you talk to Herr Wright about how you’re feeling, he’d say the same thing. Don’t be so hard on yourself, fräulein.”

Trucy hesitated. Then, she stepped forward to hug Klavier, holding him a little tighter than last time. He automatically held her closer, too. “See you tomorrow?” she mumbled against his shoulder.

“Of course,” Klavier promised. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

_____

“How is he doing, that defense attorney of yours?”

Klavier looked up from the box he was packing. He found it almost too easy to get distracted in here, to feel a wave of nostalgia crash over him as he packed away the books and toys that once filled his childhood playroom. There were already paint swatches on the wall, a collection of wood stain samples sitting by his feet, but he wasn’t quite ready to see it transformed into something else, for the room to belong to someone other than him. “He’s not mine, Mama, he’s just a friend. And he’s fine, if a little stressed. Er, make that a lot stressed.”

“Doesn’t surprise me.” She clicked her tongue disapprovingly. “Even just hearing it secondhand, I can tell that boy needs a break.”

“I’ve told him as much,” Klavier said dryly. “We talk most days, you know. He’s just stubborn, won’t listen to anyone - least of all me.”

“If you talk most days, then he must listen to you to some degree, yes?” she pointed out, momentarily crossing the room so she could crack open a window. “How long has he been away now?”

“Almost seven months, I think,” Klavier replied, turning back to what he was doing. “Though we’ve been talking for...around three at this point. If it wasn’t for Trucy, I...I don’t think I would have ever tried. Even now, I feel like I take up too much of his time when he could be going to bed early or doing something more productive.”

“Ah, Klavier.” He looked back up to see his mother had returned to his side; her hand went to the top of his head, ruffling his hair affectionately. “Why is it so hard for you to understand when people care about you, hm? Aside from the screaming fans, I mean.”

“Mama,” Klavier complained, his cheeks heating with embarrassment. “Achtung, it’s nothing like that. All I’m saying is, we were never close to begin with. I’m sure he’d rather talk to Trucy or get his advice from Herr Wright.”

Frowning, she withdrew her hand from Klavier’s hair. “I don’t know what I would say to that man if I were to ever meet him. Where would I even begin?”

“I...ah…” Klavier busied himself with the collection of picture books he’d been rifling through earlier, smiling faintly at the sight of his name scrawled on the inside covers in barely legible chicken scratch. “...I have that same thought, and I see him all the time. I suppose an apology is in order, but...I don’t know if he would even want to hear it.”

“To think Kris ruined far more lives than just the ones he’d taken,” she whispered, slowly sinking down to sit beside him. “To think he’d taken any lives at all, I - ”

“Mama, bitte - ”

“What did we do, Klavier?” she said forlornly, her voice thick with emotion. “Where did we go wrong? What could we have - ”

“Mama, Mama, breathe,” Klavier murmured, rubbing her back soothingly. “It wasn’t your fault, ja? Not yours, not Papa’s. Just his, and...a little bit of mine.”

“Hardly,” she insisted. She then cupped his face in her hands, looking up at him with watery eyes and a bittersweet smile. “Don’t let anyone blame you for what he did, darling, especially not yourself. Promise?”

“Ich verspreche,” Klavier said obediently, tilting his chin down so she could kiss his forehead. She then released him with a satisfied nod, turning back the box she’d been working on earlier; in doing so, she missed the way Klavier’s face fell. He cleared his throat. “So...a crafting room, ja? What kind of projects did you have in mind?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” she said, humming. “I want to try a few things - cross-stitching, beadwork, paper crafting...we’ll have to see what sticks. If any of them stick.”

“You’re not retired yet, Mama,” Klavier reminded her. “I’m exhausted just listening to you and Papa talk about what you’ve been up to - I don’t know how you do it.”

“You’re exhausted? I’m exhausted just listening to what you’ve been up to,” she teased. “You’re not the only prosecutor in the district, baby, so why do you work like you are? Go out, live a little. Or stay in, I suppose, whatever you prefer.”

“I like being busy,” Klavier said defensively. “And I enjoy my work, you know that.”

“I just wish you enjoyed more than just working, that’s all,” she said, clicking her tongue disapprovingly. “You know what they say - don’t turn your hobbies into a career. But you went ahead and did that anyway, and now you don’t have any hobbies left!”

“I have plenty of hobbies, danke very much,” Klavier chuckled. “Cooking, working out...and I’m not exactly in the music business anymore, so I’d say that’s back to being a hobby, ja?”

“How about friends?” she suggested. “All I hear about is the people who work for you or the people who work with you.”

“That’s just how it goes,” Klavier said with a rueful grimace. “Making friends as an adult...it’s hard. But I mean it, mir geht's gut. You have nothing to worry about, not with me.”

“I know.” She squeezed his shoulder. “But I’m going to worry, anyway.” She then stood, smoothing out the front of her shirt. “We should probably get going with lunch before your papa gets home, yes? We’ll continue with this later.”

“Ja, Mama, natürlich,” Klavier replied, also getting to his feet. He cast one last lingering glance in the direction of the picture books - for it wasn’t just his messy, childish handwriting inside, but Kristoph’s neat cursive as well - before following her out into the hallway.

_____

Time, Klavier mused to himself every so often, never really made sense to him. He liked being on time, of course, he liked the precision of it, especially when it came to music. He was proud of his natural affinity for rhythm, for keeping time. It was why he excelled at piano and guitar lessons at an early age, why the numerous vocal coaches he’d had in his life found him particularly easy to work with. But it always caught him off-guard whenever things seemed to speed up or slow down or even come to a complete standstill whenever they pleased. Twenty-four years of his life, changed, when he learned about his brother’s true nature. Seven years of his band, gone, when his best friend turned out to be a criminal as well. And now, an entire year that felt like five, all because Apollo wasn’t here.

“You should just ask him out already,” Ema had said to him one evening, over drinks. “I know his name is misleading, but he’s just a person, not a god. What’re you so scared of?”

“I’m not fond of wasps or small spaces,” Klavier had drawled, smirking at Ema’s infuriated scowl as he took a sip of his beer. Still, he knew she had a point. As blunt as Apollo could be, Klavier doubted he would be cruel about turning someone down. It also didn’t help that these days, he was starting to get his hopes up, now that he and Apollo talked on a daily basis. He still wasn’t sure how it had happened, aside from Trucy’s encouragement and his own impulses, but he couldn’t be more thrilled that it had.

“Two more months until I’m out of here...I think,” Apollo amended, yawning, his face filling up Klavier’s entire laptop screen. He looked good, Klavier though, even better than usual - during his time in Khura’in, Apollo had gotten more sun; his skin was a few shades darker, his freckles especially more prominent across the bridge of his nose. His hair was longer, too, mostly in the back, and his wardrobe had slowly evolved into an aesthetically pleasing mix of American street style and Khura’inese casualwear. Apollo had also mentioned a few times that he had built up some muscle, especially in his calves and shoulders, now that he had to walk everywhere and carry his fully-loaded bag wherever he went. Klavier tried not to think about how much he was looking forward to seeing it for himself in person.

“You’re sure now?” Klavier asked. “You’ve said that before.”

“Pretty sure,” Apollo said, chuckling. “Nahyuta even bought me a plane ticket, like he can’t wait for me to leave.”

“I’m sure he’ll miss you all the same,” Klavier replied. “And he’s used to flying back and forth, so I doubt you’ll be apart for long.”

“I think I’m gonna miss him, too,” Apollo admitted, tugging on the sleeves of his hoodie. It always gave Klavier a little thrill whenever he saw Apollo wearing it - after all, it was once his, having sent it to Apollo via a care package that Trucy had put together a while ago. Though their upper bodies were comparable in width, Apollo was significantly shorter, which meant the hoodie seemed to completely swallow him up. “It’s weird, looking back on it. How different we were when we were kids - like, both as people and as brothers - and yet...some things never changed. I don’t even know how to explain it, I just...I just know.”

“Something only the two of you can understand, I’m sure,” Klavier said diplomatically. He’d heard many stories about Apollo and Nahyuta’s childhood by now, sometimes accompanied by the occasional mention of Dhurke. Even now, he found it hard to picture; he wasn’t too familiar with Nahyuta, but the thought of him and Apollo chasing each other across mountainous hills or searching for frogs along the riverbanks seemed unlikely, yet it happened all the same. “You have a good relationship with him by now, I take it?”

“Definitely,” Apollo nodded. He then leaned in close to the camera, his voice dropping to an exaggerated whisper. “I’ve even grown on Rayfa, and though she'll never admit it, I think she kinda misses Mr. Wright.”

Klavier laughed. “Charmed her, have you? I’m not surprised. You can be...persuasive when you want to be.”

“You make me sound like a conman,” Apollo snorted, leaning back in his seat. “Give me a little credit, will you?”

“Ja, ja, fair enough,” Klavier said, holding his hands up in surrender. “After all, you did have a client ask you out once. Clearly, you have some natural appeal.”

“It’s happened twice, actually,” Apollo said, shuddering. “I don’t know what I did to make either of ‘em think I was remotely interested, but I shut them down fast.”

“You saved their lives,” Klavier pointed out. “It might be their...misguided way of showing their gratitude. Besides, you’re not half-bad. Some might even say you’re...attractive.”

“And the compliments just keep on rolling in.” Apollo got up from his seat, momentarily blocking the camera as he unplugged his laptop from its charger and carried it over to his bed. He sat cross-legged by his pillows, yawning and stretching luxuriously. “You really know how to make a guy feel special, Gavin.”

“If you’re fishing for praise, Forehead, you only have to ask,” Klavier teased. “Let’s see, should we talk about the impressive way that your voice cracks every so often when you shout, which is all the time? What about the fact that you only seem to own one tie in the most outlandish shade of blue I’ve ever seen? Or how, every single time, without fail, you always push on the courthouse entrance doors despite the fact that they’re clearly marked ‘pull’ - ”

“You are such a dick,” Apollo sighed, shaking his head.

“ - you managed to get food poisoning at two different events for the prosecutor’s office,” Klavier continued; if he wasn’t enjoying himself earlier, he certainly was now. “Ah, remember that time you ripped your pants at a crime scene? Good thing it was a thrift store, ja? But if you ask me, corduroy bell bottoms don’t quite suit you. You don’t have the height for flared hems.”

“...I think you’ve gone just a little off-track here,” Apollo drawled. “Take it back now, Gavin, you were s’posed to be saying nice stuff, remember? Like, tell me I’m good at my job or something.”

“You make the perfekt lawyer,” Klavier said in the most serious tone he could muster, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing. “After all, you just love to pick a fight.”

“Don’t think I won’t hang up on you,” Apollo said, yawning again as he half-flopped over onto his side, pillowing his hands beneath his cheek. For what felt like the thousandth time, Klavier found himself wishing he was in Khura’in, too.

“You say that every time, and you’ve never followed through,” Klavier reminded him. “Fine, you want a real compliment, Forehead?”

“That’s what I was asking for,” Apollo mumbled sleepily, his voice muffled.

“I think…” Klavier hesitated. “I think you might be one of my favorite people in the whole world.”

Apollo’s eyes flew open. “Huh? You...y-you really think so?”

“Would I be talking to you all the time if you weren’t?” Klavier chuckled. “How much free time do you think I have on my hands, hm?”

“Yeah, but - b-but still,” Apollo protested weakly. Klavier delighted in the way Apollo’s cheeks reddened, the way his nose scrunched up, the way his brows furrowed in an attempt to look irritated instead of embarrassed. “We only really became friends, like, uh...eight-ish months ago, so…”

“So nichts,” Klavier said derisively. “I say what I mean and I mean what I say, ja?”

Apollo shot him a drowsy smile. “Thanks, Gavin. It’s...actually kinda flattering.” He yawned yet again, curling up on top of his pillows. “Hey, I just remembered - you had your evaluation with Mr. Edgeworth just now, right? How’d that go, did you get three gold stars and an extra cookie to go with your juicebox like you wanted?”

“Call the prosecutor’s office a preschool just one time, all because Herr Debeste decided to bring Ritz crackers to the office potluck, and now you can’t let it go...and move on,” Klavier added, smirking; Apollo lifted a hand to flip him off. “It’s the usual with Herr Edgeworth, really - ‘excellent work, Prosecutor Gavin, nothing new to report’. Whenever I ask him if there’s anything more I can do, any way in which I can improve...I get nothing. It’s like he wants me out of his office as soon as possible.”

“I doubt it,” Apollo said quietly. “I know you keep saying over and over again that he blames you for what happened to Mr. Wright - but he doesn’t. Even if he did at one point, no one does anymore, alright? We know what happened, we know who it was, a-and it wasn’t you.” He propped himself up on his elbow, looking Klavier right in the eye. “Mr. Edgeworth doesn’t have suggestions for you ‘cos...you’re good at what you do. Somehow, you, Mister Euro-Rocker, are the most normal person at the prosecutor’s office. All anyone can accuse you of is, like, self-promotion, grandstanding, and wall slamming. Why do you do that, anyway?”

“I had a kickboxing phase,” Klavier said, laughing wetly. “That was surprisingly touching, Forehead, danke. Don’t we all aspire to be ‘the most normal person’ in any situation, achtung.”

“So you’re saying in some alternate universe, you would leg slam the prosecutor’s bench instead?” Apollo said dryly. “What would that even look like?”

“Gott if I know,” Klavier replied, continuing to laugh. “Anyway, should I let you go now? You look like you’re going to fall asleep at any second.”

“I’m fine.” Apollo slumped back down against his pillows, then let out an exaggerated exhale. “Though I wouldn’t, uh. I wouldn’t complain if you sang me to sleep, either.”

Klavier straightened up in his seat, surprised. “Again? I didn’t think you actually meant it last time, until it worked.”

“Your voice is, y’know...decent,” Apollo said, the corners of his mouth quirking upwards. “I have to listen to it for, like, two hours a day, after all. Going on and on about ‘ah, Herr Forehead, my bike didn’t start again’, or ‘I got a free drink at the courthouse café because the cute barista recognized me, can you believe it’ - oh, and we can’t forget the classic ‘you wouldn’t believe how terrible my hair looks today, I don’t know if I should turn my camera on’ - ”

“I take offense to that last one,” Klavier protested. “You’ve done the exact same thing to me! Remember when there was a thunderstorm - ”

“A Khura’inese thunderstorm, one of the worst the country’s ever seen, versus you having a, quote-unquote, ‘bad hair day’ ‘cos you woke up on the wrong side of the silk pillowcase. Very comparable,” Apollo drawled. “Go on, then, Gavin, give me a lullaby.”

Klavier steeled himself, taking a deep breath. Then, in the throatiest, most operatic voice he could muster, he began to sing. “Guten abend, gut nacht, mit rosen bedacht - ”

“Screw off, you - ” Apollo was doubled over, clutching at his stomach; the sound of his laugh, as cliché as it was, was music to Klavier’s ears. “Shit, I-I can’t even be mad at that one, that was on me. Okay, let’s not do a lullaby, just give me, like...something slow.”

Klavier hummed thoughtfully as he watched Apollo settle back down, drawing his duvet up over his shoulders. “Moon river, wider than a mile, I'm crossing you in style someday...dream maker, you heart breaker, wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way…” It didn’t take long for Apollo to fall asleep, his breath slowly evening out as he did. He looked peaceful in a way that he never did when he was awake. Smiling to himself, Klavier went to end the call. “Gute Nacht, liebe.”

_____

“For the love of everything, can you please stop bouncing your leg like that?”

“Ah - ” Klavier clamped his hand down onto his thigh, offering her a nervous smile. “My apologies, fräulein, I didn’t realize it was so cold in here. Does Herr Wright have a habit of leaving the air conditioning on? I didn’t think this office even had air conditioning, to be honest.”

Ema side-eyed him derisively; the effect was slightly ruined by the huge bouquet of roses she had sitting in her lap. They were practically tickling her chin. “...cold, right. That’s what’s going on, not the fact that we’re here to surprise Apollo on his way back from the airport.”

Klavier was very tempted to glare back. He liked to think he was an amiable person, but Ema challenged that notion every time they spoke. “Why did you decide to return early, anyway? Was Herr Sahdmadhi getting on your nerves?”

“Oh, please,” Ema snorted. “Sorry, Gavin, you’re still the problem child of the prosecutor’s office to me. No, I left early ‘cos...well, because I could. Besides, I missed this one over here.” She lightly elbowed the person on her other side, who giggled sweetly in response.

“Long-distance suuucks,” Kay agreed, dropping her head onto Ema’s shoulder and shooting her an affectionate grin. “Now that Em’s back for good, we can finally look into getting a place together!”

“Have you started yet?” Klavier asked, curious. “Because my area has a few - ”

“Um, I-I think a taxi just pulled up outside!” Klavier turned to squint through the darkness in the direction of the front window, where Juniper, Vera, and the Fey women were hidden, lifting their heads every so often to peek through the blinds. Thankfully, Vera seemed less nervous around him these days; he hated the thought of making her uncomfortable, especially when there was nothing he could do about it but wait. He’d tried approaching her on the rare occasions they were in the same room together, but more often than not, they both ended up tongue-tied. “I see Thena, and Apollo, and Trucy...oh, there’s Mr. Wright! I think Trucy made him tip the driver extra, heh.”

Klavier’s heart seemed to be in his throat as he, Ema, and Kay crouched down behind Apollo’s desk, while the others went to duck behind Phoenix’s and Athena’s desks as well. It had been so long, so long that he’d nearly forgotten some of the little things that just didn’t quite translate via phone call or video chat - how tall Apollo really was, how loud he could truly be; the way his nose scrunched up when he laughed, or how he absent-mindedly played with his bracelet more often than Klavier suspected he realized himself. He had to stop himself from letting out a hysterical laugh when he remembered how, the last time he saw Apollo in person, he’d flipped Klavier off. How appropriate, Klavier thought somewhat dazedly, shaking his head. And now -

“...huh, so I really did leave my jacket here. Guess it doesn’t matter since I never wore it, anyway. I’m more of a suit vest kinda guy, you know? So, what are we - ” The light flickered on. All at once, the agency seemed to explode with noise as everyone jumped out from behind the desks.

“SURPRISE!” Several party poppers, courtesy of Maya and Kay, went off simultaneously, which only added to the chaos.

“ - argh - what the - ?!”

“Wh-whoa, Polly, watch your head! You almost knocked over Mr. Charley!”

“Forget Charley, I-I almost twisted my ankle just now, shit - ” Apollo managed to find his footing again, half-leaning against the back of the couch to keep himself propped up while he caught his breath, his hand clasped over his presumably racing heart. Klavier could only stare at him, dumbfounded, his mouth hanging open. Ema was side-eyeing him again, but by now, he really didn’t care.

Of course, Klavier had known for a few weeks now that today was the day, but to see Apollo standing - well, somewhat collapsing - in front of him was something else entirely. Clearly, Apollo’s laptop webcam and spotty internet connection hadn’t done him justice, not the healthy glow of his skin, nor the shine of his hair. He was wearing a Khura’inese tunic and joggers with both the sleeves and pant hems rolled up, revealing just how muscular he’d become. However, what intrigued Klavier most of all was the familiar-looking hoodie in Apollo’s arms.

“Hey, stranger,” Ema said, lightly punching Apollo in the shoulder, then unceremoniously shoving the bouquet of roses into his arms despite the fact he was still holding the handle of his rolling luggage bag. He nearly dropped it on his own foot in an attempt to grab the flowers in time. “It’s weird, right? I’m still getting used to, like, mega-grocery stores and smog all over again.”

“Considering I’ve only been inside an airport, a taxi, and the agency so far, I can’t say I’ve had time to adjust, no,” Apollo said dryly. He then frowned. “Er, Ms. Fey, a-are you filming all this?”

Maya grinned almost manically over the top of her phone. “Yup! Blame Trucy and Athena - they wanted to get your reaction on camera, and ooh, you did not disappoint.”

Apollo deflated even further. “...glad I could entertain you all.” He then straightened up, approaching Juniper and Vera first to chat with them amicably while the others fell back to talk amongst themselves. Trucy sidled up next to Klavier with the brightest grin she’d had in months.

“I still can’t believe he’s finally here,” Trucy admitted. “It was starting to feel like he was never coming back, you know?”

“He looks...surprisingly refreshed for someone who’s been sitting on a plane for Gott knows how long,” Klavier chuckled, smoothing out the creases in the front of his shirt. He then shot Trucy a soft smile. “You must be thrilled.”

“Ecstatic!” Trucy chirped, nodding enthusiastically. “There are some tricks Athena just refuses to help with, but I bet Apollo wouldn’t mind if I volunteered him for the job!”

“That’s not the only reason you missed him and you know it,” Klavier said gently.

Trucy’s cheeks reddened; she shot him a sheepish smile. “...I-I may have cried at the airport. It was a total mess, ‘cos me and Athena were crying, and then Apollo started crying, and there was tears and snot everywhere, a-and Daddy got it all on tape, too. He said it was like we were trying to set the record for world’s longest hug!”

“That’s very sweet, fräulein,” Klavier murmured. “I’m sure it was quite the scene.”

“What was quite the scene?” They startled at the sound of a new voice, turning to see Apollo standing before them. The first thing Klavier couldn’t help but think, stupidly enough, was that Apollo looked taller somehow - he seemed to be holding his head higher, his chest prouder, though it also helped that he was wearing a heavy pair of brown leather boots with a thick sole. Klavier’s heart thumped pathetically in his chest at the sight of Apollo’s warm, curious eyes, now fixed on his face in confusion.

“Your reunion, or so I hear,” Klavier said smoothly, taking a few steps closer. His eyes flickered down to Apollo’s arms, half-folded in front of his torso; he was still holding onto the hoodie. “And I see I’ve done a good job of keeping you warm while you were away, Herr Forehead.” He sensed Trucy, Ema, and Kay exchanging bewildered glances behind him.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I got some pretty nice handmade blankets in Khura’in,” Apollo chuckled, lifting a hand to run his fingers through his unstyled hair. Klavier was more used to seeing it without gel than with it at this point, given how most of their video calls had taken place during Apollo’s evenings. “But, uh...thanks. You sure you don’t want it back?”

“Ah, nein, it’s all yours now,” Klavier replied. “But if you’re in need of more clothes that aren’t from the children’s section, I’d be more than happy to provide.”

Apollo snorted, shaking his head. “You’re such a dick.” Then, to just about everyone’s surprise, he took the last few steps to close the gap between them and wrapped his arms around Klavier, burying his face against Klavier’s shoulder with a contented sigh. “...it’s good to see you, Gavin.”

Klavier stood still for a moment, stunned, before returning the hug, holding him tighter than either of them expected, resting his chin on top of Apollo’s head. He smelled faintly of fruit and dirt and sweat, though Klavier didn’t mind one bit. “Ich habe dich vermisst,” he mumbled into Apollo’s hair, letting out a relieved exhale. “I’m glad you’re back.”

A little over an hour later, their rather large group of people - made even larger with the addition of Edgeworth and Simon, who had been held up in a work incident that, from the sound of it, was entirely Payne’s fault - found themselves at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant, arguing over whether to order more salmon or more unagi while they drank beer, or in Trucy and Pearl’s case, soda. Their table was crowded, to be sure, and it was definitely the loudest in the entire restaurant, but with Edgeworth footing the bill, insisting no expense be spared, their servers didn’t seem to mind too much.

“God, you’re obvious.” Klavier turned to see Ema pointing her chopsticks at him rather threateningly. “Y’know, if you wanted to sit with Apollo, you should’ve just said so instead of sitting here and staring at him like a pining Austen heroine.”

“You really should be careful with those,” Klavier commented, gently pushing her hand away. “And it’s fine, he obviously wants to sit with Trucy and Athena. We have time to chat later, ja?”

Sighing, Ema turned back to her plate, stuffing a piece of tamago into her mouth in the most irritated manner Klavier had ever seen someone eat. “I don’t even know why I’m bothering,” she said, taking a generous gulp of her beer. “Look, Gavin, I - you know I was there, on the other end of things. I saw how...how happy he looked after your phone calls, whenever you sent him a text...all I’m saying is, sitting around and doing nothing like you did before? You really think that’s gonna work?”

“The last thing he needs is for me to bother him while he’s still settling in,” Klavier said diplomatically. “Like I said, we’ll have time to talk...later. Let him breathe, bitte. He literally just got here.”

Ema’s mouth twisted. “I really don’t get you sometimes.” She seemed to be talking more to herself than to Klavier now. “Like, I’m trying to imagine some world in which I don’t tell Kay how I feel about her, and...I can’t do it. It’s physically, emotionally, scientifically impossible. My entire life would be different, you know?”

“With you and Kay, you knew the feeling was mutual from the start, ja?” Klavier glanced across the table, where Apollo was cracking up over some joke Athena had just told. “As for me...I still can’t be sure. Even with what you just said, it’s no guarantee. And I think, for the time being, we’re...we’re glücklich this way. We’re friends. Close friends, even.”

“He talked to you more than everyone else combined,” Ema reminded him. “I only managed to talk to Kay maybe twice a week if we were lucky.” Kay leaned around Ema to nod affirmatively in Klavier’s direction, a stray udon noodle hanging from her mouth. “But whatever, I’m really only telling you for Apollo’s sake. If this was just about you, I guarantee I wouldn’t care.”

“Sure, fräulein, whatever you say,” Klavier chuckled. “So, you were saying something earlier about apartments - ”

“Hey, Gavin.” Once again, Klavier nearly gave himself whiplash at the sound of Apollo’s voice; he wasn’t sure when Apollo had gotten out of his seat and come to their side of the table, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. “Sorry to interrupt, it’s just - can I talk to you for a sec? Outside, maybe?”

“Er - ja, sure.” Klavier shot Ema an apologetic smile, though she’d already gone back to stealing pieces of ginger off of Kay’s plate. He then followed Apollo through the restaurant and out the front door, the two of them coming to a stop on the sidewalk. “What’s this all about, then?”

“Nothing, I just - I needed some air,” Apollo admitted, taking a generous deep breath. “Don’t get me wrong, I-I’m glad to see everyone again, but it’s a little...crowded back there. And loud.”

“Very true,” Klavier agreed, leaning against the exterior wall. “So...I’m surprised you’re still standing. Aren’t you exhausted?”

“Ridiculously so,” Apollo chuckled. “I’m sure I’ll crash in like, a few hours. Mr. Wright’s couch could be a literal rock, and I’ll still be out cold for the next...I dunno, week? Month?”

“You mentioned something about getting an apartment in your old building, ja?” Klavier mused. “When’s that happening?”

“I move in next week...if I’m awake by then, that is,” Apollo added dryly. He then smirked. “You offering to help, Gavin?”

Klavier leaned in close, his own teasing smile playing on his lips. “If you want me, just let me know, Herr Forehead.” He couldn’t help but feel a little thrill go through him when Apollo’s pupils darkened considerably in response.

“I’ll, uh...I’ll keep that in mind,” Apollo replied, chewing his bottom lip thoughtfully. Klavier found himself momentarily distracted by the motion. “Hey, uh - what were you and Ema talking about before I cut in?”

Klavier paused for a little longer than he would've liked. “I...was asking her about her plans to find a new place with Kay. To be honest, I’m surprised it’s only happening now. They’ve been together for years, after all.”

“True, but...if it works for them, I guess,” Apollo shrugged. “Did you guys ever get around to playing laser tag?”

Klavier blinked. “Entschuldigung?”

“Before we left, remember?” Apollo said, biting back a laugh. “Ema told me to ask you if you wanted to do drinks or laser tag, so did you and Kay...y’know, hang out without us? Or have you been waiting for us to get back?”

“Ah, that,” Klavier said, laughing as well. “Nein, we never did get around to it, though we’ve had the occasional drink together. Remember that story I told you a few months ago, the one where she - ”

“ - where she got kicked out of the bar ‘cos she accidentally gave them a fake ID she’d been holding onto as evidence, yeah,” Apollo snorted, shaking his head. “Sounds like something that could literally happen to any of us.” He straightened up, taking a couple of steps back so he could clear his throat. “Anyway, we should hang out after I recover from my inevitable jetlag. Like, the four of us, I mean.”

“Er - right, ja, the four of us,” Klavier nodded, faltering slightly. Apollo looked at him questioningly but didn’t say anything, instead turning his gaze towards the street for a moment, watching the cars and the occasional motorcycle go by. Klavier supposed he was still getting used to all the noise again, or rather, the different kinds of noise. He’d heard the evening sounds of Khura’in through the phone many times, especially when Apollo went for a late-night walk and “brought” Klavier with him for company. It had been relatively peaceful, serene, in a way that California was decidedly not. “Apollo, I...do you want to…maybe we could...”

“Yeah?” Apollo looked up at him, a gentle smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Klavier coughed. “...never mind. Maybe another time, when you’re not so tired, ja?”

“Oh.” Apollo frowned slightly. “Uh, sure.” He then brightened, gently nudging Klavier’s arm. “Hey, but maybe we can make a thing out of my move-in day, make it a casual housewarming hangout or whatever. You interested?”

“Always,” Klavier said softly, nudging him back. Grinning, Apollo wordlessly beckoned for Klavier to follow him back inside, back to their table. He didn’t need to glance in Ema’s direction to know she looked as disappointed in him as he felt.

_____

“Ach, Klavier. You’re pouting more than your cousin Ingrid, and she’s barely seven years old.”

Klavier looked up from his glass to shoot his father an apologetic grimace. “Sorry, Papa. It’s just - the timing is unfortunate, you know? Er, not that I don’t want to be here. Anja and her new bride look wunderschön, and it’s been so long since we’ve had a wedding in the family - ”

“Now you sound like your Uncle Oskar,” his father chuckled, clapping Klavier good-naturedly on the shoulder. The two of them were standing in what looked and felt like a fairytale, in a sea of blossoming flowers and sparkling lights on a beautiful, crisp Saturday morning. In the distance, Klavier could see his cousin - or was she a second cousin, or a cousin once removed, he could never remember - and her wife posing for their wedding photographer by the park gazebo, while everyone else not-so-patiently waited to be called over for group photographs. All of the younger ones were especially moody, especially the aforementioned Ingrid, who had fallen and scraped her knee mere minutes before the ceremony. The poor girl had refused to let anyone put a bandaid on her, electing to sulk in silent solitude on a park bench instead. “I know you wanted to be with your friends today, but...there will be other days, yes?”

“Ja, ja, ich weiß,” Klavier replied. “Today is Apollo’s little housewarming get-together, it would've been nice to be there. But still, I wouldn’t miss Anja’s wedding for the world.” He then swallowed, glancing down at his feet. “That is, that’s how I felt before we got here. But achtung, now I feel like a caged animal. After all this time, do they really think - ”

“Not one person here thinks you’re going the same way,” his father interjected sharply, his eyes fierce behind his wire-rimmed glasses. “You’re not him. You’re not. But their stares...unfortunately, I don’t think it can be helped.”

“The questions were so simple before,” Klavier muttered. “Remember when I came back for a couple of weeks, between legs of the Gavinners’ European tour, for cousin Leo’s wedding? All anyone wanted to know was - ‘ah, Klavier, how is your band doing? Are you still a prosecutor? When are you getting married?’. And now it’s - it’s ‘what’s going to happen to him now?’ and ‘what exactly is this dark age of the law everyone’s been talking about?’ and ‘did you know the whole time?’. It’s endless, ach.”

“Klavier - ”

“I didn’t ask for my life to revolve around his, okay?” Klavier managed to stop himself before he could shout; instead, his voice came out as a harsh whisper. Thankfully, no one else seemed to notice, carrying on with their conversations while they waited for the newlyweds to call on them. “So if people are going to continue to talk, to stare, then I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to see it. If I can’t have a normal conversation with my family members that aren’t you or Mama, then…” He shook his head; his hand was trembling, his champagne sloshing over the edge of his flute.

Sighing, his father squeezed Klavier’s shoulder a little firmer now. “...I can tell them you have a migraine if you’d like. Or how about a stomach bug? Though maybe a work emergency would sound a little more...dignified.”

Klavier let out a watery chuckle, clasping his hand over his father’s. “Danke, Papa, I appreciate it, but it’s fine. This is Anja’s day, not a day for me to whine and fuss. I can grin and bear it for her, ich verspreche. And I apologize for my...outburst.” His father shot him a sympathetic smile, then turned back to watch the happy couple while they waited for Klavier’s mother to return from the bathroom.

It was nearly two in the morning by the time Klavier collapsed face-first onto his bed, only to sit up in a panic for a moment, thinking he’d just smeared a full face of makeup onto his freshly-washed silk pillowcases, before remembering he’d managed to trudge his way through his skincare routine just moments ago. With a weary groan, he grabbed his phone and sent a quick text message; mere seconds later, his phone began to ring.

“Forehead? I didn’t actually expect you to be up.”

“Mik’s being a literal scaredy-cat about living in a new place, so I’m probably not gonna be able to sleep anytime soon,” Apollo said with a weary sigh. “So, how was the rest of the wedding? All the photos you sent looked incredible!”

“What can I say? Gavins have good taste,” Klavier replied, chuckling. He rolled onto his back, staring up at his ceiling. “It was...perfekt, the epitome of classic fairytale romance, really. The kind of wedding you see in children’s books, you know?”

“Sure.” Apollo’s voice was warm in Klavier’s ear. “Hey - you, uh, you okay? You sound...off.”

“Ja, ja, I’m just tired,” Klavier said, frowning slightly at his outstretched hand. Despite getting them done yesterday, his nails were already starting to chip. “How long did everyone end up staying for?”

“They left a little before midnight,” Apollo replied, yawning. “Trucy has a matinee show tomorrow - or today, I guess - or else she probably would’ve insisted on sleeping over. Would’ve been kinda nice, actually, i-it’s always a little weird being alone in a new place for the first time. Though I guess this makes up for it.”

“What makes up for it?” Klavier asked, confused.

Apollo snorted. “This phone call, you dork. It’s like last year all over again, except we’re finally in the same time zone now.”

“Ah - right,” Klavier said, letting out an awkward laugh. “Ja, this is nice, though...I assume we’re not making this a habit again, are we?”

“Nah, definitely not. But, y’know, every now and then for old time’s sake? I wouldn’t, uh, I wouldn’t mind it.” Klavier shivered. Apollo’s voice had dropped to a low murmur; it almost sounded as if he were in the room with him. Klavier remembered Apollo making a snarky comment or two whenever he caught a glimpse of Klavier’s apartment during their video calls, leaving him to wonder whether Apollo would ever want to see it for himself. “So, you wanna do something next week? I’m still on co-counsel duty until I’m ready to take my own cases again, so my schedule’s not too hectic.”

“What did you have in mind?” Klavier hummed.

“I’m up for whatever - er, within reason,” Apollo added. “It could, well. It could even be just you and me, if you want.”

Klavier’s mouth suddenly felt very dry. “...I think I’d like that, ja. Drinks, maybe? Friday?”

“Yeah, uh - ” Apollo cleared his throat. “ - yeah, sounds good. Text me the time and place whenever, okay? Though I guess we’re probably gonna see each other before then, so.”

“Definitely,” Klavier said quietly, sucking in a breath to stop himself from making a potentially embarrassing noise - a squeak of joy, maybe, or a nervous laugh; either one would be terrible. “Should I let you go, then? We didn’t usually talk this late, even when you were on the other side of the world.”

“Very true,” Apollo said, punctuating Klavier’s point by yawning again. “I think Mik’s finally settled down, anyway.” Then, he seemed to hesitate. “...you sure you’re good, Gavin?”

“Mir geht's gut,” Klavier promised. This time, it felt more like the truth. Though his quiet anger from earlier hadn’t quite dissipated, he was calmer now, more at ease. “Family events just take a lot out of me, that’s all. Inevitable, given how big my extended family is.”

Apollo fell silent for a moment. “Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I, uh...I wouldn’t know.”

“I think it depends on the family,” Klavier admitted. This time, both of them went quiet, contemplating Klavier’s sentiment. “...anyway, let’s not carry on and ruin our sleep schedules, ja? Gute Nacht, Forehead.”

“G’night, Gavin,” Apollo said softly. “Talk to you tomorrow.” Despite the usual raspy quality of Apollo’s voice, not to mention how sharp it could get, Klavier found it immensely comforting at times, its warmth like a thick blanket - or, more accurately, an oversized hoodie. Mere minutes after they hung up, Klavier drifted off into a deep, restful sleep.

_____

Friday, it seemed, was not meant to be. Much to Klavier’s quiet disappointment - though obviously, he understood, given the circumstances - Apollo had to cancel their plans after getting some truly life-changing news.

“I-I don’t even know where to begin,” Apollo had stammered on the phone, sounding as if he were on the verge of tears. “I - she’s my - a-and her eyes - sh-she came to see us, me a-and - ”

“Slow down, Apollo, slow down,” Klavier had said gently. “What’s going on? What happened?”

Apollo had taken a big, shuddering inhale. Then, he spoke again. “...Trucy is my little sister...a-and Lamiroir is...she’s...she’s...she’s Thalassa Gramarye. Our mother.”

The news traveled quickly throughout their social circle; naturally, it was Trucy who told everyone else, while Apollo still seemed to be reeling in shock. No one seemed to know what to say, not with everything they knew about the twists and turns and tragedies of their respective family histories. A week passed, then another, and another, as the two Gramarye siblings took some time off to reunite with their mother. Klavier dropped by the Wright Anything Agency every so often, hoping to see how they were doing, only to find just Phoenix and Athena there.

“Apollo almost punched me...again,” Phoenix had said quietly. If it wasn't for the seriousness of his expression, Klavier would've asked about the first time. “It’s because I knew. I knew a long time ago. And Trucy, she can’t seem to decide whether she’s upset with me or not. Can’t say I blame her, though Thalassa and I had our reasons.”

“I’m sure you did, Herr Wright,” Klavier had replied sincerely, though he didn’t push further. After all, it wasn’t his family drama this time, and as far as he was concerned, knowing what their reasons were wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Phoenix had then paused. “She told me she talked to you, by the way. Trucy, that is.” He let out a hollow laugh. “Even when she didn’t know, it was like...like she already knew. But I shouldn’t be surprised, not with her. Never with her.” Clearing his throat, he shot Klavier a gentle, genuine smile. “Thanks for being there for her, Prosecutor Gavin. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Klavier had promised. “Herr Wright, before I go, I really should say something - ”

“If you’re about to do what I think you’re about to do...there’s no need,” Phoenix had interrupted, though not unkindly. “I’ve said it a few times, but I’ll say it again. Let’s put the past behind us, alright?”

Klavier had been taken aback. “...if you’re sure, then...ja, I hear you.”

Almost four weeks after Thalassa returned to her children’s lives, Klavier finally saw Apollo again, during a brief one-day trial. Once Apollo got his client acquitted, the two of them took a moment to sit on the courthouse steps together in stilted silence. “How is she?” Klavier asked. “How are you?”

“She’s…” Apollo sucked his breath in between his teeth. “...she’s still figuring things out. Remembering stuff. Trying to, uh...trying to learn how to be a mom to two adult children who...who grew up without her. And I dunno if it’s harder for me, o-or for Trucy, because I accepted my whole life that...that my mom just wasn’t around. But Trucy lost her. She knew her, loved her, lost her...and now she’s back. Not that it’s a competition, it’s just…” He managed to give Klavier a small smile. “We’ll be fine. It’s just weird and confusing a-and...but we’re fine. Sorry I’ve been so - ”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Klavier said, gently nudging him. “So, are you going to see her again today?”

“Yeah, we’re gonna drop by for dinner tonight,” Apollo replied. “We’ll hang out again soon, I swear.”

“Don’t worry about me, Forehead. Take care of yourself first, ja?” Klavier chuckled, patting Apollo’s knee. “Anyway, I should get going before the paparazzi catch wind of me. Auf Wiedersehen, baby. Have a good time tonight.” As he was leaving, he took a moment to watch Apollo walk over to the courthouse bike rack to join Trucy, who was patiently waiting for him. The moment she spotted him, she flung her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a hug, as if they’d been apart for years and not mere minutes.

The days continued to go by without them seeing much of each other, though they did continue to text on a regular basis, even having the occasional late-night phone call or two. Klavier also managed to chat with Trucy when he dropped by the agency one afternoon in the hopes that she would be there.

“I’m okay,” Trucy had told him. “We’re still getting used to it, but it’s definitely one of the best surprises I’ve ever had! I’ve been saying this whole time that Polly’s like a little big brother to me, and now…”

“And now it’s true,” Klavier had remarked, laughing. “I’m happy for all of you, fräulein, truly. And thinking back...what a strange family reunion. All because I invited her to perform with the Gavinners. Er, not to make this about me, of course.”

“Of course,” Trucy had echoed, giggling as well. “You would never do that.”

Klavier had rolled his eyes good-naturedly, which only served to make her laugh even harder. His expression then sobered. “Have you told either of them about...what you told me and Herr Wright?”

“Huh?...o-oh. That.” Trucy had fiddled with the ends of her cape, eyes fixated on the toes of her boots. “No, n-not yet. It’s too early. We only just discovered the truth, why would I ruin that with my silly problems?”

“They’re not silly at all,” Klavier had reassured her. “They’re...I know a little something about family legacy. Carrying a name that belongs to someone else. Talk to them about it when the time is right, ja?”

“I know, I know,” Trucy had mumbled, her voice small. She then perked up, plastering on a false smile that Klavier was all too familiar with. “You should join us someday, Prosecutor Gavin! I’m sure she’d like to see you again, and Polly’s been dying to spend more time with you.”

Klavier felt warm. “Really? Did he say that?”

“Well, not in so many words,” Trucy had said sheepishly. “But we’ve been so busy with Mom lately that neither of us has really had time to hang out with people other than Daddy and Athena, y’know? So...maybe we could do another group dinner or something.”

And so, a little over a month and a half after their canceled plans, Trucy managed to get a smaller group of people together - her, Apollo, Athena, Klavier, Simon, Pearl, Juniper, Ema, and Kay, to be exact - for a rather chaotic visit to their nearest night market. Considering how narrow the pathways were, how packed the food stalls could be, it was hard for them to move as a collective through the crowds.

“We might have an easier time if we split up,” Apollo suggested. “And, uh, as a bonus, people would stop glaring at us for holding up literally every line.” And so, everyone divided themselves into pairs - or a trio, in Athena, Simon, and Juniper’s case - and went on their way.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go with Trucy?” Klavier asked once he and Apollo were in line for freshly-made takoyaki.

“Listen, and I say this with love, but I’ve been looking forward to hanging out with someone who isn’t Trucy for once,” Apollo said, chuckling. “Besides, we never got around to getting drinks. So let me pay for, like, a milk tea or something.”

“That’s hardly necessary, but danke,” Klavier said, smiling easily. “So, has it finally sunk in yet? Your newfound big brother status, that is.”

“Thankfully, not that kind of big brother,” Apollo said dryly. “Honestly, it hasn’t been that different. Me and Trucy have always looked out for each other, and...I dunno. We got attached pretty quickly, almost like we, uh...like we knew somehow. Like everything about our relationship made even more sense than before.” He then let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “Never mind, that probably sounds really stupid - ”

“Nein, not at all,” Klavier murmured sympathetically.

“I don’t believe in fate or whatever, but...I couldn’t ask for a better sister,” Apollo admitted, his expression softening. “Though to be fair, I can ask said sister to stop dragging me on stage with her. I almost lost my eyebrows more than once, and once is already one time too many!”

“You did say better, not perfect,” Klavier teased, laughing. “So, what do you want to do tonight? Are we just stuffing our faces, or did you want to walk around? That bouncy castle looks sehr interessant.”

“Yeah, sure, if we wanna get kicked out,” Apollo snorted. “And I’m not sure yet, I was just gonna go with whatever everyone else wanted. When I used to come here all the time with...with…” His face fell. “Um. You know. He was so eager to try everything, I-I just let him drag me around. Literally.” Klavier looked away for a moment, unsure of what to say. Apollo then tugged on his sleeve so he would turn back, a small smile on his face. “Hey, c’mon. I’m the one who made it weird, don’t you make it weird, too.”

Klavier chuckled, placing his hand over Apollo’s and squeezing. “Why don’t you lead for a change? I mean it, Forehead, what do you want to do tonight?”

“Honestly? I just wanna eat and drink and laugh at the terrible knock-off merchandise with, uh. With you.” Apollo awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. Before Klavier could respond, they’d reached the front of the line; Apollo turned to the merchant with a polite smile. “Hi, can we get one order of takoyaki, please? And can we get the sauces on the side?”

“Sure, that’ll be seven dollars,” the merchant replied. “Is this just for you, or are you sharing with your boyfriend?”

Apollo blinked. “Er, s-sorry?”

“I need to know how many toothpicks to give you,” the merchant said, shooting Apollo a strange look.

“I, uh…” Apollo cleared his throat. Klavier looked at him curiously, unsure if Apollo’s reaction was promising or worrying. “Yeah, we’re sharing.”

Once they received their order, they went to stand a little ways away from the crowd to eat and people-watch in companionable silence. Klavier stole the occasional glance in Apollo’s direction every so often, admiring how good he looked in a bucket hat, denim cutoffs, and of course, the hoodie he’d given him. Other than his signature red suit vest, it seemed to be the item of clothing he wore the most these days. Klavier wondered if it still smelled of his cologne, the cologne that Apollo claimed to hate.

“Gavin?” Apollo raised an eyebrow at him. “Can I, um...can I help you?”

“Ah - entschuldigung, I didn’t mean to stare,” Klavier said, ducking his head in embarrassment. “It just surprises me whenever you wear that, you know? Surely, you have other hoodies.”

“I’ve just gotten used to it, I guess,” Apollo shrugged. “And it’s weird, ‘cos it’s yours, but now I mostly associate it with Khura’in. Like, whenever I went for walks before or after work, this was usually the first thing I grabbed, even when it was too warm for me to wear. Something to hold onto, I s’pose.” His eyes suddenly lit up. “Hey - new idea!”

Klavier chuckled at his sudden enthusiasm. “Oh? What’s that?”

“Over there,” Apollo said, gesturing towards the river running alongside the night market. Other market patrons were there as well, eating, talking, and admiring the city skyline. “It’s definitely no Khura’inese scenery, but we could also grab some food and go for a walk, get away from the main crowd and all that.”

“I’d like that,” Klavier replied, popping the last piece of takoyaki into his mouth. “What should we get next, then?”

After much deliberation, the two of them settled on milk tea and crepes, then began walking alongside the river, chatting amicably about nothing in particular while occasionally spotting their friends in the distance. They saw Trucy and Pearl sharing a giant bowl of shaved ice, Ema and Kay marveling at all of the bags for sale - Ema had once mentioned she needed a new one to fit her entire forensics kit - while Athena and Simon were, for some reason, arm-wrestling. Juniper was supervising them with a hint of apprehension in her eyes; Athena appeared to be winning.

As they passed by people going in the opposite direction, Klavier lowered the brim of his cap over his eyes. He felt somewhat nervous, even paranoid, every single time someone looked at him for a little too long. “Not too interested in signing autographs or taking selfies, huh?” Apollo teased when it happened for the fifth time in under twenty minutes. “Nah, I get it. I’m sure it gets pretty exhausting after a while.”

“It’s...it’s not fans I’m worried about,” Klavier confessed, ducking his head once more. “It’s...the opposite, really.”

“Huh?” Apollo’s eyes then widened. “Oh, you mean...o-oh. Has that been happening a lot lately, or…?”

“Just...more than it should,” Klavier said quietly, so quietly that Apollo almost couldn’t hear him over the noise of the night market. “Anyway, I’d rather not get into it. Tell me more about your mother, you said the other day that her memories were coming back to her, ja?”

Apollo eyed him worriedly, but decided not to comment. “Yeah, yeah, uh - mostly stuff about Trucy, and Trucy’s dad, and her time with the troupe. Not so much the before, the me and...and my dad part. It was...I tried asking her, y’know, basic stuff about him. Like what his voice sounded like, what kind of person he was...but it’s all bits and pieces for her. Little tiny things, not significant details. She remembered that he didn’t like spinach and he had a pair of lucky socks, but she wasn’t sure if my voice sounded anything like his, or how they picked my name, or what their first date was. Stuff like that.” He visibly swallowed.

“I’m sure that must have been frustrating for both of you,” Klavier said, humming in sympathy.

“I don’t know what to feel sometimes.” An odd look crossed Apollo’s face then, like he wasn’t sure where his words had come from, but he seemed determined to keep going. “Obviously, I-I’m happy to have her in my life, and to see her doing so well after what she went through, but...it’s not like I had this...this attachment to my dad that she did. And sure, I wanna know more about him, but sometimes, i-it feels like I’m doing it more for her than for me. But that makes me sound like a shitty person, like I-I don’t care about him. Like he doesn’t mean anything to me.”

Klavier went silent for a moment, thinking. It was hard to concentrate when he could hear Apollo’s breath growing increasingly erratic; he so desperately wanted to wrap him up in a hug, though he wasn’t sure if Apollo would want him to. “If you ask me, you sound like a good person who cares about his mother,” he finally said after some time. “And even if your biological father isn’t as important to you as he was to her, he still means something to you. You know that.”

“Do I?” Apollo chuckled wetly, wiping his damp eyes with the sleeve hem of his hoodie. “And Trucy - god, Trucy, sh-she’s…”

“What about her?” Klavier asked, frowning.

“It’s not like either of us likes to think about it, but…” Apollo chewed his bottom lip. “If something happened to Mom, then...well. It’s not like it’s new to us...losing people. When do I get to the point where I can accept it? Where I know...I-I can’t do anything to stop it?” He let out another horrible laugh. “Shit, that sounded so heartless. Th-that’s not what I meant, I - ”

“I know what you meant,” Klavier promised somewhat sadly. “Have you talked to her about it? Or...either of them, really.”

“No, but it...it’s why Trucy wants us to hang out practically every day.” Apollo stopped for a moment, turning to watch Trucy, who was currently shoveling huge spoonfuls of shaved ice and red bean into her mouth, with a fond smile. “She won’t say it, but I-I know her. I can tell what she’s thinking. Even before we found out we were siblings, she seemed...kinda worried that I was gonna leave again. Or that I wasn’t gonna come back in the first place, even when I said I would.”

“Maybe it’s time you have that conversation,” Klavier suggested. “It won’t be a pleasant conversation, but it seems...necessary, ja?”

Apollo exhaled shakily. “Yeah, I know, I know. It’s just...there’s always something. A trial o-or a show or whatever. But, uh, honestly? I just don’t like thinking about it. Like, ever.”

“I don’t blame you,” Klavier admitted, rubbing Apollo’s arm reassuringly. “I wouldn’t want to open myself up to that kind of personal scrutiny, either.” He paused. “I...gave Trucy some similar advice a while back, you know. Advice that I should’ve taken myself, should still be taking myself, but...it’s like they say. Easier said than done.”

“Easier said than done,” Apollo echoed in agreement, sighing.

Another minute or two passed in silence, accompanied by the noisy chatter and whistling winds around them. Apollo seemed to be thinking intensely about something, but with everything they’d talked about, not just now, but over the past year, Klavier couldn’t even begin to guess what it was. Then, he lifted his head to look Klavier right in the eye. “Why did you call me in Khura’in, that first time?”

Klavier’s heart skipped a beat. “...why does it matter?”

“Because...because you’re one of my favorite people, too.” Apollo’s cheeks reddened, though he was clearly trying his best to ignore it. “And I - I wanna know if something happened that day. If...something happened to you.”

“Nothing happened to me,” Klavier said smoothly, trying not to let his dizzying joy at Apollo’s words show. “Trucy suggested I call you sometime, that’s all. Simple as that.”

Apollo’s right hand instantly went to his left wrist. “But that’s not all there is to it, is it?”

“Is this a cross-examination now?” Klavier asked, letting out an uneasy laugh. He turned on his heel and continued to walk. “You’re going to find my tell, are you? My nervous habit? It’s a nice night, Forehead, let’s not spoil it.”

“I just wanna understand you, Klavier.” Klavier stopped dead in his tracks; he could feel Apollo’s eyes on his back. “Look, if it’s such a big secret, or if you just don’t wanna tell me, I-I’ll shut up about it already. But I just - I worry about you sometimes. You’re always so...so calm. And helpful, a-and sweet, and...I get what it’s like to put on a brave face. To pretend that everything’s the way it should be. That’s all I’m saying. So if it really was nothing, then I’ll drop it, okay? I’ll let it go, and move - ”

“I was sitting in my childhood bedroom.” Now he felt lightheaded for a different reason; Klavier dropped his gaze, his body swaying despite the fact he was standing perfectly still. Apollo quickly stepped around him so they were face-to-face, tucking his empty cup under his arm so he could hold Klavier’s shoulders, his still-wet eyes shining with concern. “I was sitting on my bed, staring at the wall, and suddenly, I-I wanted to talk to the one person in the entire world who - who doesn’t want something from me. Who doesn’t want to ask for my autograph, or my connections, or my help, or...or about Kristoph. Who just wants to talk to me for - for - for me.” Before he could stop himself, his eyes were suddenly filling with tears. Klavier clapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from crying out.

Apollo let out a stifled noise. “Ah - Klavier!”

“Mama, a-and Papa, I - they say they can’t - that it - b-but they still mourn him l-like he’s already - already gone,” Klavier managed to say between short, gasping breaths, his heartbeat pounding alarmingly fast in his ears. He desperately clutched at his chest, but he was unable to find his grip. The ground, his surroundings, they all seemed to be spinning around him. “And I-I want to say - ‘I’m still here, y-you have me’ - and they know, but th-they - ”

“Breathe, Klavier, breathe,” Apollo urged. “Look at me, watch me, okay? In...out...in...”

Klavier dropped his cup entirely, desperately clinging onto Apollo’s shoulders, anticipating that his knees were about to give out beneath him. He swallowed a few generous lungfuls of air, trying not to cough or exhale directly in Apollo’s face, all while his eyes were fixated on Apollo’s - large, round, expressive to a fault. The color of melted chocolate, usually, though in the moonlight, more akin to the color of ink. “I’m okay,” Klavier whispered, though tears were still rolling down his cheeks. “Sorry, I - ”

“Don’t apologize,” Apollo said firmly. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to - we don’t - we don’t have to talk about this.”

“Nein, I - I want to tell you.” Klavier cleared his throat, wiping his face on his sleeve; he knew he looked like a mess, he knew that they were in public, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “Bitte, will you let me?”

“Yeah, o-of course.” Now it was Apollo's turn to rub his arm comfortingly. “But, uh, I think we should sit. There’s a bench over there, are you good to move?”

Once they managed to sit down, both of them visibly shaking, Apollo placed a trembling hand on Klavier’s knee, nodding for him to try again. “I was trying to say that - that I’ve always been our parents’ favorite. I was more outgoing, more curious, and I think they especially liked that about me.” Klavier’s breath was still shallow; he paused to take another deep, measured breath. “So when I say that...that I feel responsible somehow...that I played a part in his madness, his cruelty...I-I’m not just talking about Zak Gramarye’s trial.”

“You don’t mean…” Apollo sucked in a breath of his own. “You think he resented you, don’t you?”

“I think it’s more like...he never liked getting ignored, passed over, for someone else. For me, for Herr Wright…” Klavier swallowed thickly. “And then I go home to my parents, a-and they promise me it’s not my fault, that I was merely a pawn, but - but I can tell that, deep down, they miss him. They mourn him, like he’s no longer here. They're packing his things, cleaning out his room...trying to pretend he never existed, because it’s easier than living with the truth. But they slip sometimes. All the time, really. Because, at the end of the day...he still means something to them. To me.”

“Klavier,” Apollo said softly, squeezing Klavier’s knee. He seemed unsure of what to say.

“I can try all I want, but there’s no pretending for me,” Klavier continued bitterly, his voice growing stronger, louder. “Do reporters want to ask about my success as a prosecutor or my music career? Nein, they want to ask how it felt to prosecute my own brother and my own bandmate. Do my coworkers want to know how my weekend was or if I’m free to hang out? Nein, they only ask how I’m feeling when I seem less than perfect because it makes them uncomfortable. When I go to family gatherings, do they tease me about my love life or ask me how work is going? Nein, they want to know if he and I really are cut from the same cloth. No one - no one ever really wants to ask me about me. Just me.”

“Klavier - ”

“And I know they try,” Klavier sighed. “And I don’t mean to be...I’m trying not to ask for much. But how do I really know, that when Herr Edgeworth tells me I’m doing a good job, that I really am doing a good job? If Herr Blackquill tells me I seem to be happier these days, does he mean it, o-or is he telling me what he knows I want to hear?” He paused. “How do I...do I trust any of my family members - nein, how do I trust my own judgment...when the one person I grew up with...when he...when the people I-I thought I knew turned out to be...” He shook his head, unable to finish his sentence.

“For what it’s worth...you know I'm in your corner, yeah?” Apollo offered. “You know I won't...that I don't bullshit you. But still, I...I’m so sorry, that’s...that’s terrible. So when you texted me after your cousin’s wedding...”

Klavier nodded resignedly. “Ja, exactly. I don’t...it feels like…” He felt tears forming in his eyes again; he quickly wiped them away before they could fall. “...never mind, it’s stupid. It’s childish, i-it’s selfish, I - ”

“C’mon, don’t be like that.” Apollo gave him a watery, encouraging smile. “What is it?”

Klavier went silent for what felt like hours, his mind racing to find the precise words he wanted to say. “...it feels like I will always care more about someone else than they will ever care about me.”

Another lengthy pause soon followed, one that made Klavier unbearably nervous. For once, Apollo’s usually expressive face was completely inscrutable. Then, Apollo practically threw himself at Klavier, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him in close. “Klavier,” he repeated for what seemed like the thousandth time, his voice warm and urgent in Klavier’s ear. “People care about you, okay? You gotta know that. I-I promise, there are people out there who - who care about you more than you think. Like...like me.”

Klavier let out a sobbing, incredulous laugh. “Achtung, Apollo...you do know that I’m in love with you, right?”

Apollo went still. He stared at him, wide-eyed. “You...you are?”

“You mean you really didn’t know?” Klavier could only laugh again, more hopelessly this time; his mouth seemed to be moving faster than his brain. While it usually never happened to him, it seemed like Apollo brought out his honesty more easily than most. He wasn’t sure if that impressed him or terrified him. “With everything that’s been happening between us, you didn’t think - ”

“I-I knew we were getting closer, th-that we were gonna go for drinks, but...I-I thought this was, like. A recent thing for you,” Apollo stammered, still staring at him disbelievingly.

“A recent thing? You mean like your feelings...for me?” Klavier was almost afraid to ask.

“What? No, I - ” Apollo suddenly seemed to realize he still had his arms loosely draped around Klavier’s midsection. He yanked them back like he’d been burned, his cheeks flushed pink. “I mean, yes, yes, d-definitely recent - ”

“Apollo, bitte.” Klavier took Apollo’s hands in his, gently running his thumbs across Apollo’s knuckles. “I know you don’t owe me your honesty, but I’d like to think that after everything I just said, you could afford me just a little bit of it.”

Apollo fell silent, considering. Klavier held his breath in anticipation, heart thumping wildly against his ribcage. Then, Apollo withdrew one hand from Klavier’s grasp, instead lifting it to cup Klavier’s jaw. His eyes were wet once more, his smile impossibly soft. “I hate that you feel like you have to ask for someone else to be honest to you...least of all me,” Apollo murmured. “I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine - ”

“But it isn’t!” Apollo interrupted fiercely. “You shouldn’t have to ask for basic decency, especially from someone who’s supposed to care about you. Because - ‘cos god, Klavier, you - you’re - I love you, okay?” Klavier’s mouth fell open, stunned, but no words came out. “I love you and your...your…” Apollo inhaled yet again, taking a moment to think carefully. “You always surprise me, y’know. With how...willing you are to be proven wrong. How open you are to changing your mind. And even though you’re one of the most self-important people I’ve ever met...you still manage to be pretty selfless when it comes down to it. So selfless, that...that...that it worries me sometimes.”

“Worries...you?” Klavier asked, his voice small.

Apollo shot him a shaky smile. “Whether you’re looking out for yourself.”

“I think the last thing anyone could accuse me of is not making something about me,” Klavier said, chuckling wetly. “Take now, for example. We were having such a nice night, until - ”

“ - until you finally got the chance to say what you’ve been wanting to say,” Apollo finished for him. “Just like...like I did. Just now.”

Klavier’s eyes flitted across Apollo’s face, his gaze traveling from his tearful eyes to his parted lips, trying to find a sign, a warning that there was something there other than complete sincerity. When he found nothing, he cracked a grin of his own. “You really love me?”

In lieu of answering, Apollo moved closer, his forehead resting against Klavier’s, their noses barely brushing. Klavier’s breath hitched. Then, Apollo closed the gap between them, kissing him so tenderly, so carefully, that he felt a pleasant shiver go up his spine. Finally. Klavier melted right into him, every muscle in his body seemingly relaxing all at once; he released Apollo’s hand so he could wrap his arms around him, pulling him into his embrace. Apollo was so warm, Klavier thought, his skin surprisingly soft, his lips unsurprisingly rough, not that it lessened Klavier’s joy. Nothing else seemed to matter in that moment, not all the people walking by that could easily see them, not the fact that their friends could probably recognize them if they tried. When they reluctantly broke apart, they realized that they both had tears running down their faces.

“..shit.” Apollo let out a wet laugh, sniffling sharply. He reached into the pocket of his hoodie to pull out a packet of tissues, handing one to Klavier before attempting to take care of himself. “That was, uh - ”

“Perfect,” Klavier declared, his grin so wide, it threatened to split his face open.

“I was gonna say ‘gross’, but okay. Whatever you’re into, I guess,” Apollo teased, turning away momentarily to blow his nose. A comfortable silence fell over them as they took a moment to clean themselves up, to wipe their running noses and watery eyes. “Um, but - Klavier, are you okay? Because, well. That seemed like a lot.”

“Ja, I…” Klavier laughed disbelievingly. “...I feel incredible, actually. Like I’ve managed to...to let go of some of the things I’ve been carrying for a little too long. Even if I didn't do anything but drop them.” He then looked at Apollo. “What about you, liebe? We were talking about you, and then it became about me, and - ”

“That’s how conversations work, Klav,” Apollo reminded him. “And all that...I dunno, guilt, loneliness, whatever you wanna call it? That’s been going on for way too long. But for me, it’s...I-I’m still figuring some stuff out. Something I can deal with once I know, y’know?”

“If you’re sure. But...I’m here if you need me, ja? Always.” Klavier brushed a few loose strands of hair out of Apollo’s eyes, then leaned in to kiss him again. This particular kiss was thankfully less damp. “So, ah...what should we do now?”

“Well...I think all that crying made me dehydrated,” Apollo said half-jokingly. He stood, extending a hand in Klavier’s direction. “Will you finally let me pay for one of your drinks? Please?”

“I guess I can indulge you,” Klavier teased, taking Apollo’s hands and getting to his feet as well. Apollo rolled his eyes but pulled Klavier along nonetheless. Their fingers remained entangled, both of them holding on tight, even when they stepped back into the night market crowd.

_____

A few hours later, they found themselves in the elevator of Klavier’s apartment building, on the way up to his penthouse, grinning giddily at each other like lovesick teenagers. Naturally, the others had been suspicious when Apollo told them they were leaving together. Trucy, Athena, and Kay seemed ready to burst with questions, while Ema and Simon had merely watched them go with raised eyebrows. Still, no one said anything but their goodbyes, something both of them were grateful for.

“You look like you’re thinking really hard over there,” Apollo said, smirking. “You’re not changing your mind, are you?”

“Never,” Klavier replied instantly. Even though he knew Apollo was joking, he wanted to make it clear that he wasn’t. “Not when it comes to you.”

Apollo’s smile softened. “Good. That’s, uh...that’s good. Same here.”

After they’d washed up and settled in, the two of them collapsed onto Klavier’s bed, right on top of his duvet, comfortably exhausted from everything that had been said and done. Apollo was half-curled into Klavier’s side, yawning every so often while he sent off a few text messages, presumably to Trucy and their mother. Klavier had one hand in Apollo’s hair and the other loosely resting on Apollo’s hip, humming and tapping out a rhythm while he waited for Apollo to finish.

“Sorry,” Apollo said, briefly rolling over so he could set his phone down on the bedside table.

“Nein, nein, it’s okay,” Klavier replied. “I don’t know about you, but I’m wide awake. How am I supposed to fall asleep after a night like that, achtung.”

“Yeah, we definitely had, uh...we definitely had a moment back there.” Apollo sounded both embarrassed and pleased. “God, I hope no one saw us. I have zero interest in becoming a trending hashtag before our first date.”

“You don’t consider this our first date?” Klavier asked curiously.

“I prefer my first dates to be drama-free, thanks,” Apollo drawled. Still, his expression was relaxed, somewhat drowsy. “Though I think, in a way...we kinda needed that. Wish it hadn’t happened in public, but hey, we can’t exactly pick our battles.” At Klavier’s responding chuckle, he frowned slightly. “Klav? What is it?”

“Nothing, it’s just - mein Gott, I love you.” Klavier rested his forehead against Apollo’s, his smile warm and open. Apollo returned it with one of his own, his hands resting against Klavier’s chest, Klavier’s heartbeat steady beneath his fingertips. “I know we still have a lot to deal with, but...right now? I couldn’t care less. I’m just...I’m so happy.”

Grinning, Apollo shuffled closer, kissing him chastely. They exchanged slow, meandering kisses for a few minutes, fingers lightly pressed into each other’s sides, legs loosely tangled together. “...dork.”

“Your response is supposed to be ‘I love you, too’, liebe,” Klavier hinted, eliciting a delighted laugh from Apollo’s mouth. “But seriously, I mean it. I really do feel...free.”

“Good,” Apollo said affectionately, cupping Klavier’s face with both hands. “Look, I - I know all that stuff you’re feeling isn’t gonna magically go away, just like that, but...if you still need to hear it…” He then turned his head, his lips brushing against Klavier’s ear. “...it wasn’t your fault. It was his, all his. And people legitimately care about you for reasons that have nothing to do with him or your fame or their own motives. So try not to let anyone make you think otherwise, okay?” Klavier shivered. “And I love you, too. Dork.”

“Ach,” Klavier said, sniffling. “You’re going to make me cry again, baby. How dare you call me a dork.” Apollo burst into laughter once more, burying his face in the crook of Klavier’s neck with a satisfied hum. They went quiet for a little while longer, simply holding each other and enjoying the stillness of the night. “I do have...one last little worry, though.”

“Yeah?” Apollo ran his thumb across Klavier’s cheek. “What is it?”

“I...part of me is worried, that…” Klavier paused, taking a moment to choose his words carefully. “After everything we’ve been through...do you really think this is going to work? Or do you think that we just hope that it will?”

“No use in pretending like we know for sure,” Apollo said honestly. “There’s a million things that could go wrong, y’know? We could get into a really bad argument, we could have problems separating work from our personal lives - hell, we might be better off as friends…”

“Ever the optimist, aren’t you?” Klavier teased.

“Oh, hush.” Apollo kissed Klavier to silence him. The two of them became momentarily distracted, wrapped up in each other’s embrace once more. Klavier wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to let Apollo go in the morning, not when they’d both waited this long. “All I’m saying is, as long as we try, then…” Apollo’s kiss-bitten lips then stretched into a fond grin. “...I think we’re gonna do just fine.”

_____

a/n: Welcome to my seventh and final entry for Klapollo Week 2021! Continuity-wise, this is the third of seven fics, but again, there is no need to read the others to follow each fic on its own. However, this fic is best read after day five's, meet me halfway (across the sky), so I would recommend reading that one to fully understand the first half of this fic!

Y'all, I can't believe it's finally over! I feel like I've been working on these fics for ages (and I've fallen behind on others; we'll see if I end up getting two fics out in July like I originally planned), especially this one and day five's. Thank you to the lovelies who organized Klapollo Week, this was super fun to do! I got a little overambitious for sure, but I liked how they turned out. In doing this, I definitely learned that short(er) fics aren't really my thing; I had a good time writing them, but I'm not a concise writer, so I struggled with getting a good balance of plot and details for the fics that were under six thousand words. In fact, I low-key wanna write fuller versions of all of them 😅

If you missed any of the other days, I would love it if you checked them out! My personal favorites are the odd-numbered days, also known as the ones with angst. I'm thinking that sometime next year, I'll write a super long version of meet me halfway (across the sky) where Klavier eventually gets to be with Apollo in Khura'in. Knowing me, that thing will be a monster of fifty-thousand-word proportions. In the meantime, if you're interested in finding out what I'll be posting next, you can filter my fanfiction masterpost by "coming soon"!

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Likes and reblogs would be much appreciated. Hoping you’re all safe and healthy and doing well ❤️

[danny-chase]

hello! if you're still taking requests for your bthb card, could i request Insomnia with Dick Grayson?

Thanks for the request! In case anyone's wondering, requests are still open :D

Insomnia - Read on AO3

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Titans (Comics), Nightwing (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Dick Grayson & Roy Harper, Dick Grayson & Donna Troy, Dick Grayson/Joseph Wilson, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd Characters: Dick Grayson, Roy Harper, Barbara Gordon (implied), Donna Troy, Joseph Wilson, Jason Todd, Lilith Clay (briefly), Danny Chase (briefly), Lian Harper (briefly) Additional Tags: Emotional Whump, Dick Grayson Whump, Protective Roy Harper, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson Gets a Hug, Kissing, POV Alternating, POV Dick Grayson, POV Roy Harper, Black Eye, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Sleep Deprivation, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Pancakes, IHOP Series: Part 7 of Bad Things Happen Bingo Summary:

An old friend comes to visit when Dick finds himself unable to fall asleep.

Full story under cut

Now: A doorbell sharply buzzed as Roy walked through the glass door, a half-asleep attendant perking up in front of him. The room was cramped, the flooring tacky, unkempt ancient wallpaper peeled at the seams. A bucket sat in the corner catching a steady drip of – what he hoped was – water.

The lady gave him an unimpressed look, her manicured nails clattering against the keys of a dusty old laptop. “You here for a parole meeting?” Roy rolled his eyes.

“Lady, do I look like I’m here for a parole meeting?” She shrugged, shuffling some papers. Her icy blue eyes lingered on his sling for a moment.

“Could have fooled me, you get in a fight?” Crossing her arms, she stared at him challengingly.

He widened his stance. “Nah I’m here for-”

“Robbie Malone.” A robotic voice chipped in his ear.

“Robbie Malone, you can charge bail to this card.” He finished, slipping an envelope out of his pocket.

Clacking away, she sliced open the envelope. “I’ll need proof of ID.” She continued, not giving him a second glance. He bristled, placing his left hand on the counter, flexing his muscles. The clattering sped up, growing louder as she determinedly focused on the screen. “Waiting room is over there.” She titled her head towards a dark hallway.

“Everything alright?” The earpiece buzzed. Dingy lights flickered as he made his way to the room. He sighed as he entered the room, finding a too-small uncomfortable looking chair.

“Peachy.” Leaning against the doorway, he rubbed his aching right arm, breathing deeply. Crossing the room, he took his place in the shitty chair. Tilting his head back, he stared at the off-white, water-stained ceiling.

How the hell did we get here?

Last Night: Dick aimlessly stared up, counting the holes in the safe-house’s ceiling tiles. If he counted one row and one column he could multiply them – but he kept messing up and starting over.

This wasn’t productive. He should be doing literally anything else. He was moping, this was pointless, he ought to-

Shit, I lost count.

He started over. In truth – he’d tried getting up but a weight in his chest pinned him to the spot. Stars danced above his head – mixing with the holes - but he couldn’t bring himself to care – he was just… so tired.

There’d been a human trafficking ring – it was gruesome sure, but he’d seen gruesome before - he’d been managing fine – then obsessed – he let this happen - this was his fault – Bruce would be disappointed – Babs too –

Fuck it, he didn’t care anymore. And he lost his count.

He felt awful – like his body was imploding. He needed a shower. Couldn’t remember the last time he ate. He hadn’t slept in five(?) – he wasn’t keeping track anymore but he didn’t even have an excuse not to sleep anymore.

He could sleep any time he wanted.

Yeah - he chose not to sleep…

Totally.

He closed his eyes. The case was over – that’s what was bothering him right? He could sleep now – he was fine – the kids were safe – everyone was safe – everyone was –

Don’t think about it.

His eyes shot open before he could see her face. His insides squirmed – he rolled over, picking himself off the floor, compelled to do something – he couldn’t patrol, Bruce had helped with cleanup and ordered him home – the thought of food was nauseating, that was out – he could clean… but he didn’t even know where to start – he could –

Someone knocked on the door… was he expecting someone? At… what time was it? It was dark out and the clock was too blurry to read. Another knock and he lost his train of thoughts.

Drawn forward, as if in a daze, he gripped the door-knob, twisting before even bothering to look through the peephole.

That’s how Barbara got shot. Bruce’s voice chided.

He grinned as he swung open the door, revealing a shining face. “Donna.” He nearly tripped over the doorstep, Donna laughing at his antics, spreading her arms wide.

“Good to see you, Boy Wonder. Heard you were having a rough night, I thought you might want to talk?” Dick nodded, already enveloping her in a tight hug, lost in the faint scent of coconut shampoo. “Let’s take a walk.”

Now: Roy sat, watching a clock across from him tick. His ass hurt – arm hurt – he hadn’t eaten breakfast. He was supposed to spend the day with Lian – but fuck – here he was cleaning up after the batboy. Dick owed him pancakes. With chocolate chips. Maybe eggs. Homecooked – like he used to make post-successful mission.

Who was he kidding?

He was sitting in a county jail waiting around for a friend he hadn’t talked to in nearly a month. They couldn’t just eat pancakes and magically fix everything. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to ignore the awkwardness of the situation.

It was a shame – Dick’s pancakes were amazing. Yeah. Pancakes…

Had the clock grown louder when he wasn’t watching?

He pulled out his phone, resolving to find the nearest IHop. If things were going to be awkward, he would at least have food to distract him. “You owe me a meal.” He whispered into the earpiece.

“There’s an iHop 5 minutes away. Turn left coming out and it’ll be on your right.”

“How did you-”

“I’m amazed you think I can’t get into your phone.” Showoff. He quietly whistled.

“Rob’s got friends in high places.” The voice was silent for a moment. It was the weirdest thing (albeit not the weirdest thing that had happened to him) – someone had just slipped an envelope and earpiece on his kitchen table – a letter O was written on an attached sticky note.

“You’d be right about that.” There was an unspoken rule in the superhero community – never turn down an assignment for Oracle.

Last Night: Metal squealed as he swung back and forth on a little swing set. “I miss this.” He pumped his legs forward. “We should do stupid shit more often.” He flipped off the swing – doing a perfect double flip before landing. “You see that?” He beamed, turning to face – “Donna?!”

“Yes, yes, you’re brilliant. The crowd goes wild.” She rolled her eyes, politely clapping. “But I came out to talk to youuu, and you haven’t even told me how you’re doing.” She swung her legs, keeping her swing impossibly still. Well. She was Donna – she was perfect – she could do things like that.

“I’m fine.” He solved the case after all – that was what had been keeping him up – he could sleep after this.

“Dick…” The corners of her mouth turned down, pulling at the strings of his heart as they went – Donna was perfect, he was having fun – things were fine.

“Don’t – please – I’m fine, I don’t want to fight right now.” His mouth went dry, his pulse speeding uncontrollably. “Could we just… keep hanging out on the swings? Like we used to?” His legs shook, knees threatening to give out. “Please?” He croaked.

“Okay.” She pulled out a camera, smiling. “Next time, I’ll take a picture.”

Now: This was taking forever. He impatiently tapped the side of the chair, staring at the blank wall ahead of him.

“I can play music.” The voice offered.

“How long is this going to take?” He groaned – his arm throbbed; he left his ibroufen at home. Fuck. His. Life.

“Maybe thirty more minutes.” Came the guess.

“I’ve been here forever.” He complained; he was starting to suspect the lady was purposefully taking her time.

“It’s only been one hour.” The voice deadpanned. “Quit whining or I’ll play country.” Roy sighed.

“You got Rob’s playlist?” Maybe it was silly, but listening to his friends’ playlists made him feel a bit closer to them. And dammit, he missed Dick.

“Mmmhmm.” If nothing else, Dick’s trash taste in music was better than country.

Last Night: He caught a glimpse of a familiar face walking towards the playground. His heart swelled, chest lifting as he leaped off the swing.

He fumbled the landing, recovering quickly – and running, he spread his arms open wide. “Joey?!” His feet pounded on the grass, and he launched himself into a flying hug, momentum accidentally carrying them both to the ground. Dick laughed, hugging Joe tight, hands racing through his golden curls.

Empathetic eyes found his, concern clear, swimming behind stunning green irises. It was as if Joey was looking in his soul – or rather - his heart. Joey started signing. ‘Are you-’

Dick cut him off. “I’m fine, can I just – have this?” Joey’s face softened, leaning forward. Dick closed the gap between them, cradling the back of his head in his hands. Their lips met, butterflies filling his stomach – he was on top of the world - completely invincible in the moment. He slipped a hand up, feeling Joey’s steady pulse, and moved down, adorning his neck with a kiss.

Joey tenderly pressed a kiss to the crown of his head. ‘Not here.’ He signed. They were in public – not that he cared.

“I love you.” Dick protested, standing, and pulling Joey to his feet. He kissed his hand, tugging him into another hug. “I should have told you sooner.” He whispered.

They stood, illuminated by moonlight – melding into one. Joey was soft and warm, and smelled of honeysuckle. He felt nineteen again, dumb and in love, with everything to lose – but everything to gain, spending reckless nights flirting and teasing. Donna cheered in the distance. It was breathtaking, he was happier than he’d felt in years.

Perfection was something he was always searching for – and this – right here – he’d finally found it.

Joey pulled back, signing again. ‘I love you too.’ He smiled softly, studying his face. ‘You haven’t been sleeping.’ Reaching out, he gently pushed back Dick’s bangs, leaning forward for a quick kiss before pulling away again. ‘You promised not to do this.’

Dick brushed off his worry, taking Joey by the hands. “I swear I’m fine – I feel better than I have in years now you’re both here.”

Someone laughed behind him. No. It can’t be. The laugh continued, tinkling like a little bell. Joey placed a hand on his shoulder, tears welling in his eyes as he turned.

“Jason?”

Now: “Rob?” Dick stepped into the little room, stonily staring at the floor. Stubble decorated his unshaven face, his left eye swelling – bruises blossoming across his face. The skin under both was dark and puffy, his eyes bloodshot. Roy rose to his feet - automatically rushing forward. The lady stepped between them, getting in his face and handing him a thousand papers to sign.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, he needs medical attention.” Roy bit back a scream. Dick crossed his arms, refusing to meet his eyes, as he tried to get a better look. His mouth was set in a taught line, as if determined to show no emotion.

“He refused. Sign the papers.” The lady spat, shoving a pen at him.

“You better fu-”

“Play nice!” Chided the voice in his ear. “Just sign the papers. I’ll pay for all the pancakes you can eat.”

“Excuse me?” Frost tinged the woman’s words. She turned on her heel, whipping her hair around – almost hitting his face as she stormed back to her desk.

“I’m signing the goddamn papers.” He aggressively clicked the pen open. Fuck this. He scribbled his signature as fast as he could, flying through the papers, throwing them each at the lady as he finished.

Dick remained silent, staring at the floor, standing completely still.

“What the fuck did you even do?” The woman sneered at him disapprovingly. He shoved the last paper at her, throwing the pen on the counter. Dick remained silent.

“They picked him up at 3rd street park this morning.” The voice supplied. “He’s charged with loitering and resisting arrest.”

Last Night: “It can’t…” He trailed off, looking at Jason’s grinning face.

“Sure it can.” Jason asserted, darting forward. “Tag!” His heart leaped, as he ran after. Laughing, Jason took the steps to the little castle two at a time, meeting Lilith at the top.

“Oh no, I don’t want to play.” She put her hands up. “Get Danny instead!” He turned, watching Danny wave from over by the fountain. He kept contorting the water into different shapes.

Dick grinned, running forward. “No way, I’m going for my baby brother!” Jason snorted, flaunting around on top of a slide. His smile was so wide – always so wide –

Robin gives me magic.

Dick doubled his speed, they should go for ice cream after this – just the two of them, like old times.

“Please, as if an old geezer could catch me.” Jason taunted, doing a cartwheel as Dick started climbing up a rock wall to the top. “Especially with the shape he’s in.”

“I’m in better shape than you!” He teased back.

“You really aren’t.” Donna’s face appeared at his side startling him, he found himself losing his grip – falling back off the rock wall. His shoulders hit woodchips, knocking the wind out of him. “If you were, that wouldn’t have happened.” She pointed out.

Dick couldn’t breathe – his lungs were frozen – he couldn’t –

Joey kneeled on his other side, helping him sit up. He wheezed, desperately sucking in air.

“See you can breathe.” Jason’s head popped out overtop the wall. “Must be nice.” He muttered.

“What -” he panted, “do you… mean?” A coughing fit overtook him. Donna slapped his back.

“Really?” Jason looked at him mournfully. “You’re being pathetic.”

“Jason!” Donna chided. “Quit reminding him we’re-”

“Don’t!” Dick sputtered, burying his chest in Joey’s shirt. It smelled like honeysuckle – honeysuckle and lilac. “Please!” This was all he had left. “Don’t take this from me. Please, Jason – PLEASE!” Broken fragments and shards of memories.

“Robin?” Tears spilled over into Joey’s shirt. His heart was bursting in his chest. Let him have this. Please. For just a moment more. Joey pushed him back slightly.

Jason popped up in front of him, looking at him accusingly. “I thought I was Robin.”

Now: “Dick, what happened to you?” Roy asked, rummaging through the trunk. No response. He looked up through the rear-view mirror. Dick stared out the window – looking at nothing at all. “Dick?” What the hell?

His hands closed around the first aid kid. He slammed the trunk walking back up to the front seat.

“How is he?” Roy nearly dropped the kit, anger overcoming him.

“How is he?! How is he?!” He flailed his arms. “That’s it! You fucking Bat people just keep pushing and pushing each other - tell Bruce he’s FUCKING OUT OF THE GAME – that’s all you fucking people care about isn’t it-”

“-Roy you don’t understand-”

“I UNDERSTAND JUST FINE!” A couple across the street stared at him. He shooed them off, putting his phone up to his ear belatedly as a cover.

“We love him too.” The voice insisted. “I only want what’s best for him. So does Bruce.”

“Then where the fuck is he? And why isn’t he the one bailing him out?” The line went silent for a moment.

“I said I wanted what’s best for him. Why do you think I sent you?” Roy found himself speechless – not a problem, the voice continued. “Wally was busy, and Garth is still in the hospital, and you should visit him by the way, Dick’s only been stopping by at night - they haven’t even talked! ROY! Don’t talk to me about understanding Dick Grayson, you aren’t the only person who gives a shit about him.”

Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. What the fuck was going on? “Does Bruce even know?” Another pause.

“No.”

“What do you want me to do?” Roy watched cars whiz past on the little town road.

Finally, the voice replied. “I don’t know.”

Last Night: A calloused hand rested on his shoulder. His fists still clenched Joey’s shirt, tears blurring his vision.

“Dick, aren’t you going to turn around?” Jason asked, squatting on the ground. Panic overtook him.

“I can’t.” He tucked his knees to his chest. She can’t see me like this. He was pathetic.

“Mm.” Donna hummed knowingly. “Why not?”

“You know.” Joey gently patted his back as he squeezed harder.

“I do.” She dropped down slipping an arm over Jason’s shoulders. “But I’d like to hear you say it.”

“Why are you doing this?” He choked back a sob. “Can’t we just… talk on the swings – and Jason we can go out for ice cream you can meet Danny and Joey and Lilith can come and - ”

“Dick. Look at me.” Donna placed a hand on his shoulder, waiting until he met her eyes. “You know we can’t stay.”

“You can’t tell me you don’t know this is all in your head. You’re smarter than that.” Jason kicked wood chips without spraying any around. “We didn’t die so you could end up like this.” Joey tapped his shoulder.

‘What he means is, we love you and it hurts to see you like this.’

“Dick, if you won’t talk to us, could you talk to them.” Donna sadly smiled.

“I’m sorry.” He was a disappoint – a failure – it was his fault – his –

“Deep down you know I made a decision.” Donna stated. “And that I don’t regret it.” Dick jumped to his feet. “What do you mean you don’t regret it – you fucking DIED FOR ME, DONNA. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!” He grabbed her by the front of her overalls, she just sadly smiled as he shook her. “YOU LEFT ME ALONE! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME – DONNA – HOW COULD YOU!?” She shrugged as he screamed, dropping to the ground. “It’s hard for you to look at me?! Try looking at your graves and knowing that you’re the reason you died!”

Joey placed a hand on his shoulder. Dick stared at him. “I’m so tired of being alive.” He confessed. Joey pulled him into a hug. “Just. Let me stay with you… please.” He breathed in, but the scent of honeysuckle was long gone - the warmth of Joey’s body fading. “Please?”

“Dickie.” He’d nearly forgotten the sound of his father’s voice. “You have someone to get back to.”

“Multiple someones.” Donna added.

“A new little Robin.” Jason noted. “Take care of him for me, okay?”

“Can’t you just stay?” Joey shook his head. The hand slipped off his shoulder.

“Sleep well, love. Take care of yourself. We love you.”

He turned, diving for a hug, finding nothing but empty air, as he skidded through woodchips, splinters tearing through his skin. Someone grabbed his shoulder and he screamed, clamping onto their wrist. No. No one was getting away this time. Just as he looked up, a blow finally sent him into darkness.

Now: “So… How are the pancakes?” Roy shoved another scoop into his own mouth. Dick poked at his plate without actually eating anything. “Hey, I bought those. You’re going to eat them.” Dick wistfully swirled a piece around in syrup. “Lian’s going to be jealous.” A spark of recognition passed through Dick’s eyes at the mention of her name.

Alright. New tactics then. Talk about his daughter. Oh, this would be easy. “She’s been getting math homework recently. Math homework! Can you believe it? She’s in first grade and this teacher is already giving out math!” He blundered through the conversation, Dick slowly looking up to make eye contact. “And it’s not the crap we learned as kids either. They want them to count a whole different way! I mean how on earth do you count differently.”

“Binary.” Dick suggested, Roy tried not to cringe at how rough and raw his voice sounded.

“So, you could help her with that, yeah?” Two birds, one stone. “She needs help and you’re the best math nerd I know.” Dick turned to stare mournfully out the window. “Finish your food, we’ll go back to my house, you can sleep, and I’ll bring home Lian, and when your brain’s working again you can help her with math, sound good - yeah?”

He probably failed to keep the panic out of his voice, but at this point he didn’t know what else to do if Dick said no. They weren’t kids anymore – he couldn’t force Dick to do anything he didn’t want to, or call in Bruce. It felt like he was teetering on the edge of losing another friend.

Now: He was hurting Roy – Roy’s smile was forced, his shoulders were tense, he was holding his fork too tight. Dick looked out the window, avoiding his gaze.

You have someone to get back too. Multiple someones.

Lian needed math help. Roy needed someone to talk to. Tim needed more training.

Donna could have helped Lian. Joey could have talked to Roy. And Jason should have been the one training.

They weren’t here anymore.

When are you going to face reality?

“Okay.”

He stabbed into a piece of pancake and stuffed it in his mouth. For the first time in days, he ate something that didn’t taste like ash.

Later: Roy flipped through channels, as casual conversation continued in the kitchen. “Okay so if you cut the pancake like this, it’s in thirds, so there are 3 pieces. Get it? Like halves but now there’s one more piece.” Dick had been trying to explain fractions for the past fifteen minutes.

“Mmmm, do I get to eat the pancake?” Lian giggled, smacking the table excitedly. Roy admired her ability to avoid talking about math, that – that was something she got from him.

Time had passed, Dick was rebounding – he always did, and Lian got a perfect score on her last test. Things were good.

For now…

One day, they wouldn’t bounce back – maybe he would die or Dick would shatter, but for tonight fractions were being taught with pancakes – and that wasn’t something he thought possible a week ago. And as Lian served him his piece, he painted on a smile because that’s all they could really do anymore – real smiles seemed to have died with Donna – but maybe if they kept surviving, they could go back to living.

Dick knowingly cocked an eyebrow and placed a hand on his shoulder, ducking down to whisper thanks in his ear, wrapping his arms around his neck, squeezing tighter than usual. Dick’s chin settled on his shoulder, warm puffs of air a constant reminder of his presence.

Tomorrow was unknown, but tonight Dick was alive and healing and Lian was smiling and squealing, and for him, that was enough.

[p-eppermintea]

love is a drug (but it never comes with a warning)

AO3 LINK

Pairing: Erwin Smith / Levi Ackerman (Eruri) Characters: Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, Isabel Magnolia, Farlan Church Rating: Explicit Warnings: No warnings apply Word Count: 13186 Tags: Sexual Content, Hook-up to Lovers, Pining, Angst, Croissant the cat, Love Confessions, Christmas, Yes I wrote the Christmas scenes in June

Excerpt / Summary:

So, here’s the thing. Levi really isn’t the type of person who invites strangers over for sex. Sure, he had a couple of hook-ups, quick fumbles, and one-night stands after nights out in his younger years – but that’s about the extent of it.

--

NOTE: I started this in October and very slowly finished it over the past 8-ish months. Quality control courtesy of ADHD and my inability to force myself to edit, mixed with my impatience to post. Sorry about mistakes!

So, here’s the thing.

Levi really isn’t the type of person who invites strangers over for sex. Sure, he had a couple of hook-ups, quick fumbles, and one-night stands after nights out in his younger years – but that’s about the extent of it.

The older he gets, the less he cares about sex. He’s slowly paying off a mortgage, has hobbies and a good job and a couple of even better friends. Meeting people just seems like a waste of time, and sex is just so unnecessary and messy.

But after almost two years of celibacy and with the house to himself for the weekend, he caves and downloads Grindr. He pours himself a glass of wine, downs it, and meanders around the house for a little bit. He feeds his cat. Pours himself another glass of wine. Polishes his already meticulously clean coffee table. He finally opens the app properly.

Making a profile doesn’t take him too long, and most of that time is taken up by choosing a profile picture. He settles on the gym photo he sent to Isabel a week earlier. He doesn’t really take a lot of photos of himself either, so it’s not exactly hard for him to choose.

Levi takes one look at the array of profiles before he sighs heavily and throws his phone to the other side of the couch. This is so stupid.

He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. He’s thirty, for fuck’s sake. He’s gone through all of the stupid hormonal-fuelled confusion from his teen and early adult years, and he hasn’t been self-conscious about himself for as long as he can remember. He doesn’t even get nervous before big presentations. So why is this making his heart race and his palms sweat?

He sits and finishes his drink slowly, listening as his phone buzzes every now and then in front of him.

About twenty minutes pass before he eventually gives in and grabs his phone again.

Three messages. Alright, not bad. He can deal with three messages.

They aren’t really anything special. It’s about what Levi expected; “Top or bottom?”, “Come here often?”. And, of course, a dick pic straight away. Levi scoffs at that last one. It’s an okay photo, he supposes. It’s a just dick, though, there isn’t really much more to it. He’s worth more than some low-effort and unsolicited dick pic, though, so the message is ultimately ignored.

He’s actually a little disappointed by the choices. Maybe he’s a bit too old for this, but it just seems like people have gotten lazy when it comes to looking for hookups. They could’ve at least put some effort into their first messages, for fuck’s sake.

Levi shoots a lazy reply of “Switch” to the first guy. He looks okay in his profile picture. Attractive, but with soft features and the build of a particularly thin tree. He doesn’t really find himself gravitating towards that type of man too often.

Mr. Cheesy-Pick-Up-Line is more his type. Tall, wide shoulders, chiselled, and downright handsome. Erwin, thirty-five. A little bit closer to his age, too.

Too bad his first message is so lame.

Erwin: Come here often?

Levi: What is this, the nineties? Does that even ever work?

Levi: I just downloaded this.

Erwin: Not yet, but I’ve got my fingers crossed! What brings you here?

Levi: Looking for a hook-up, I guess.

Erwin: Any luck?

Levi: Not yet. Unless one mediocre dick pic counts.

Erwin: Unfortunate. I find that it’s quite rare to find a decent one. I could definitely send a much better one

Erwin: That was a joke. I think. Unless…?

This guy is so lame.

Levi: Ha. Ha. Ha. Hilarious.

He chews on his lip, contemplating. He flicks off the lid of the wine bottle and takes a swig. Fuck it. He might as well throw himself right in the deep end and get it over with.

Levi: Alright then. I’ll warn you though, I’m a tough crowd to impress.

And, well.

It’s something, alright. He was right, at least – it is much better. Warm early-morning lighting, with soft shadows that define the sharp planes of his hips. He’s kneeling on a bed, hard and curved in his hand, and okay. Levi’s stomach twists deliciously.

Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.

Levi: When can you come over?

--

When turns out to be right this minute.

Levi chews on his fingernails for the entire forty minutes it takes for Erwin to get to his house.

It’s not until he hears a car door slamming closed out on his driveway that it finally sets in. He’s known this guy for approximately… What, an hour now? And he’s coming over. To his house. At damn near ten o’clock at night.

Oh God, what if he’s a total catfish. Or a serial killer?

By the time there’s a knock at the door, Levi still hasn’t decided whether or not he can actually go through with it. He spends way too long pacing by the door and swearing to himself under his breath. He picks up his cat, and puts her down, and then picks her up again, before finally opening the door.

Erwin is standing in front of him, way taller and way more handsome than his photo looked. “Levi?”

The cat squirms in his arms. “Um.” Levi swallows, his throat suddenly dry. “Yeah, that’s me.” He steps aside and gestures inside, inviting him in.

Erwin steps inside, moving slowly and smiling kindly at Levi on his way past. “Cute cat,” he comments while Levi is bumping the door closed with his hip. He steps closer – way too close – and immediately starts rubbing behind her ears.

“Her name is Croissant,” Levi mumbles. She’s a little sand-coloured thing, with big green eyes and a fluffy tail. The name suits her. “She’s my housemate’s cat.”

Erwin laughs. “Nice to meet you, Croissant.” He’s leaning down and cooing over her, and she’s purring. That little shit, who almost never purrs when Levi is petting her, is actually purring.

Before Levi can get too annoyed that Erwin is giving the cat more attention, Erwin straightens up and looks at Levi with a bright grin. “How shall we do this, then?” he asks. “Would you feel more comfortable if we sit down and talk first, or just get into it?”

Levi contemplates for a moment, Croissant squirming in his arms until she breaks free from his hold and dashes off into the kitchen. It’s not like they’re on a date or anything, so getting to know each other first seems a little pointless to him. “What do you usually do?”

“I don’t do this too often, but when I do, I find it easier to start slow.” He’s already pretty close, but he steps forwards, moving more and more into Levi’s space. They’re basically breathing in each other’s mouths. Levi wets his dry as fuck lips and shuffles nervously. “Is this okay?”

Levi nods, and Erwin’s hand starts travelling lightly up his arm. His body jerks automatically in response, but he quickly relaxes. His hand eventually stops on Levi’s elbow, and he leans even closer. “Tell me when to stop,” he mumbles.

Erwin is taking his sweet time, studying Levi’s face. He squirms under his steely blue gaze. The anticipation is fucking killing him. It’s almost unbearable.

So Levi kisses Erwin first. He raises up onto the tips of his toes and smashes their lips together, throwing his arms up around Erwin’s neck, slow be damned.

It’s good, as far as first kisses go. Erwin is soft and tender, but there’s this underlying dominance to him. He allows Erwin to kiss his way into his mouth, his hands sliding up Levi’s arms and finding their way onto his cheeks.

They move slowly to the living room, hands and mouths roaming carelessly, and clothes slowly finding themselves strewn out on the floor. They fall onto the couch together, Erwin pulling Levi’s shirt off over his head and dropping it onto the floor next to them. Levi shudders at the sight of clothes discarded on the floor haphazardly, but then Erwin is kissing him again, and pushing him down into the couch cushions, and climbing on top of him, and suddenly he just doesn’t mind.

“Do you mind if I mark you?” Erwin asks, looking down at Levi with narrow eyes.

Levi’s breath catches in his throat, and he shakes his head quickly. Erwin moves downwards, and Levi’s head immediately falls back to expose his neck, his eyes rolling back when Erwin’s lips attach to his skin.

Part of Levi wants to roll Erwin over and make him beg – he usually takes on a more dominant role during sex. But they’ve only been making out for about ten minutes, and Levi just wants to lay there and let Erwin do whatever he wants to him, as many times as he wants. Levi groans quietly as Erwin digs his teeth into his skin and sucks hard.

They just seem to click.

--

Afterwards, when they’re both sweaty and exhausted and very much satisfied, Levi makes Erwin a cup of tea, and they sit in the kitchen and drink in silence.

After Levi’s usual hook-ups, he usually either kicks the guy out, or passes out immediately afterwards and pretends to still be asleep in the morning as he sneaks out, never to be seen again. He doesn’t have time for casual conversation with random guys from clubs.

This time feels different – he actually kind of likes Erwin. He’s definitely the best sex he’s ever had, that’s for sure. He really has no idea what to say, though.

Croissant is sitting in the doorway, eyeing them both suspiciously. Levi can feel her judging them.

“So,” Erwin starts, setting his cup down. “What happens now?”

“I don’t know,” Levi admits. He takes a sip of his tea. “You do this more than I do, you tell me.”

“I mean… unless you’d like me to go, perhaps we could put on a movie?” Erwin’s eyebrows wriggle suggestively. It’s stupid, and lame, and annoyingly cute. “And not watch it?”

And that’s how they find themselves back on Levi’s couch, making out lazily with some shitty rom-com that Erwin chose playing on the TV.

Erwin is exactly the right size for Levi to be far too comfortable lying on top of him. He’s big enough to wrap himself almost completely around Levi’s body. He feels oddly secure.

He’s also the perfect size, it seems, for Croissant to insert herself directly in-between them, pushing her little head between the two of them and lying down directly on Erwin’s chest. She starts purring immediately, flexing her claws in Erwin’s shirt, and flicking Levi with her tail.

“Oh wow,” Levi says, sitting up and crossing his arms. “Are you some kind of cat hypnotist or something?”

Erwin laughs, scratching Croissant behind the ears. “I guess she just likes me.”

Levi scoffs. “The little bitch doesn’t like anyone except my dumbshit housemate,” he replies. “She doesn’t even like me that much.”

“That’s surprising, you’re very pleasant,” Erwin replies, smiling cheekily. The joke is obvious behind his eyes and toothy smile.

“If my stupid cat wasn’t between us right now, I’d kick your ass.”

Erwin laughs, a bright and hearty sound that rumbles deep in his chest and startles Croissant. She merely looks at him in alarm for a moment, and then goes back to purring. He continues to fuss over her, making little kissy faces and squishing her face delicately in his hands. “You are so cute,” he coos, wrapping his arms around her gently and pulling her closer to his chest.

All Levi can really do is just watch as his Grindr hook-up, still in just his underwear and a T-shirt, gives his cat more attention than him. He can’t help but smile a little bit to himself, though, as he watches Erwin interacting with Croissant. It’s actually pretty endearing, in a way.

“I think someone’s in love,” Levi comments. He watches for a little bit longer, before his erection starts to go down and he gets a little too impatient. “Okay, time’s up. Shove her off and pay attention to me again.”

Erwin rubs his nose lovingly against Croissant’s forehead and picks her up, putting her down on the carpet. She looks disappointed, but opts for staring up at them instead of jumping up again. He looks back up at Levi and wets his lips, pulling him down with a large hand on the back of his neck.

It’s not until after half a movie, two more rounds, and a few episodes of Friends later, that Erwin yawns loudly, stretching his arms over his head.

“It’s late,” Levi observes. The clock above the TV reads somewhere after 2 AM. He really wasn’t intending for Erwin to stay for so long, but part of him really didn’t want him to leave. If anyone asks him, he’ll probably say that hormones were compelling him to let Erwin stay – it has been a while since he’s had any kind of sex, after all. But the truth is that he actually just really likes spending time with him.

“Yeah,” Erwin replies slowly.

“You’re probably too tired to drive home.”

“I guess I am, yeah.” Erwin’s eyebrow rises, waiting.

Levi looks down at his hands, scraping at an invisible speck on his thumbnail. “So maybe you should stay for the night. Y’know. So you don’t fall asleep at the wheel and die.”

Erwin huffs out a laugh. “That sounds good to me.”

Levi stands up, rubbing at his tired eyes with his sleeve. He reaches out his hand sheepishly, and leads Erwin into his bedroom – Croissant following close by.

“Just don’t leave in the middle of the night and steal my shit,” Levi grumbles. “I’ll know.”

--

When Levi wakes up at 9 AM in the morning (which is uncharacteristically late for him), he’s almost shocked that Erwin is still in the bed with him. For some reason, he kind of expected him to get up and disappear during the night. He doesn’t seem like the type, but there’s always the possibility. And of course, Croissant is curled up on the pillow, right next to his head, and snoring quietly.

He sits up in bed and watches them for a little bit. While Croissant is a bit of a cuddle bug sometimes, she’s never really connected with anyone as quickly as she seems to be connecting with Erwin. Even when Isabel brought her home as a rescue kitten – it took her a couple of months to get to this point. What’s so special about Erwin, then?

Levi is almost tempted to take a photo of the two for Isabel, but he really doesn’t want to be that guy who takes weird creepy photos of his hook-ups. He also doesn’t even want to think about all the questions and comments she’ll have for him. Knowing her, she’d be on the first train back, just to get a glimpse at Erwin. No, it’s probably better he keeps this to himself. She’ll inevitably find out eventually, though.

Erwin shifts and groans in his sleep, and Levi startles, whipping his head the other way. He quietly crawls out of bed and retreats into his en suite, closing the door carefully behind him. He busies himself with brushing his teeth, keeping an ear out in case Erwin stirs more.

He has no idea what he’s going to do when Erwin wakes up. He supposes he should make him breakfast and tea, and then what? Would it be rude to ask him to leave after that? He could always use work as an excuse if he needs to.

Levi sits on the side of the bathtub for a little bit, eyeing the spiderweb in the corner of his ceiling with disgust. It’s been there for a few weeks, but he doesn’t have the heart to get rid of it while there’s a spider still living there. After all, she keeps the flies out.

He sighs loudly and gets up, leaving the bathroom quietly. Erwin is sitting up in bed with Croissant, stroking her back quietly. Unfazed by Levi’s re-entrance, she rolls over onto her back, purring loudly as Erwin rubs her belly.

“Wow, you have her so whipped,” Levi observes.

Erwin smiles up at Levi. “I guess I just have the magic touch or something.”

Levi lingers in the doorway, shuffling his feet. He watches as Erwin leans over and presses his face into Croissant’s chest, scratching her cheeks. It’s stupidly cute, and Levi hates it.

“Um, so,” Levi starts. “Sleep well?” He cringes. Small talk really isn’t his thing, obviously.

Erwin sits up, smiling handsomely up at Levi. “I did, thank you.”

Levi sits down on the edge of the bed, reaching out to Croissant and softly petting her head. She looks up at him, looking downright offended that he’d even dare to look at her right now. In one swift motion, she flips over and bolts out of the room, sprinting down the hallway at full speed.

They both sit in silence, avoiding eye contact like the plague. Or, at least Levi avoids it. When he finally looks up at Erwin, he’s looking right back at him. His cheeks turn hot.

It’s not long until Erwin is pushing him down into the mattress and slowly kissing his way down Levi’s chest. His mouth is hot and wet when he takes him all the way down.

--

Levi makes both of them breakfast and they eat quietly in the kitchen, exchanging casual small talk every now and then. Erwin is a sous chef. He has no siblings, both of his parents are dead, and he lives alone. He likes dogs more than cats, but cats are cool, too.

They both have such regular, boring lives. No wonder Erwin is so freaky in bed.

Erwin puts his empty teacup down carefully and stretches, groaning loudly as he does. “I have to go,” he starts. Levi deflates a little, strangely disappointed. Erwin continues, “I’d really like to see you again, though.”

“I’d like that too.”

They say an awkward goodbye to each other at the door. Levi gives Erwin his phone number with a shy, “Call me whenever,” and watches as Erwin gets in his car and drives away.

Croissant sits by the door for most of the day.

--

Levi: I think you broke my cat.

Erwin: Oh?

The image Levi attaches is of Croissant, sleeping right next to the front door.

Levi: She’s been here since you left yesterday.

Erwin: I guess she misses me!

He also replies with a dorky laughing emote, and seriously Levi is so close to just blocking him. What is he, eighty-five?

Levi: My housemate came home, and the cat barely even looked at her. Usually, you can’t keep them away from each other.

Erwin: Oops! :)

Levi: She might get too lovesick, so you might have to come over again soon, maybe.

Levi physically cringes after hitting send on that one. This sort of weird flirting thing is new to him, but he quite likes Erwin. He never knew how enjoyable slightly awkward non-conversations and really good sex could actually be. It’s enjoyable enough to actually let himself talk like this, he supposes.

Erwin: Just tell me when

--

When Erwin comes over for the second time that Tuesday afternoon, he immediately scoops Croissant up into his arms and rocks her in his arms, pressing little kisses onto her forehead. She squirms in his arms until he loosens his grip and climbs up onto his shoulders.

Isabel slides up next to Levi, eyeing them both curiously. “Wow, I thought he was joking,” she comments, eyes wide. “But there she is, happy as a peach.”

They go through the weird introductory stage as fast as they can. Luckily, Isabel and Erwin are both rays of fucking sunshine, so they get along really easily, readily going into a full conversation about Croissant while Levi stands there awkwardly. They don’t talk for too long – Croissant is far too insistent on Erwin’s full attention for that – and soon move to the kitchen. The plan is for Erwin to cook dinner, Isabel to “have a nosy at her big bro’s new man” (her words), and Levi to suffer eternally until she finally leaves them alone.

Isabel sits herself down on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island, resting her chin in her hands and looking between Levi and Erwin. She’s smiling uncontrollably at them, and it’s seriously creeping Levi out. She makes a happy little noise when Erwin sets Croissant down in her lap. Surprisingly, she settles right down, staring back at Erwin with big eyes.

Isabel and Erwin get back into their easy conversation, with Levi chiming in every now and then, while Erwin gets to work. He’s making vegan spaghetti and meatballs, as per Isabel’s request. Levi and Isabel half-play Scrabble while they wait, and Croissant eventually jumps down from her lap in favour of following Erwin around the kitchen – nearly tripping him up every five minutes.

It’s getting dark outside by the time Erwin finishes. Levi pours them all a glass of wine each, and they eat at the dining table.

Surprisingly to himself, Levi finds himself really enjoying himself. Erwin and Isabel seem to get along really well, which is good. He probably wouldn’t be able to see him anymore if she didn’t like him. It’s not exactly hard to get Isabel to like you, so if she doesn’t like someone, there must really be something wrong with them – especially if they’re willing to make dinner. And enough for leftovers, at that.

“God, you should cook for us every day,” Isabel groans, shoving her clear plate forwards. “I will give you Levi’s entire paycheque to be the head chef at Casa de Levi and Isabel.”

Erwin laughs, scratching his neck and blushing bashfully. “Oh, well…” he trails off, glancing at Levi, who just shrugs. “In that case, I’d quit my job in a heartbeat. I’ll even cook dinners for little Croissant here.” He looks down at her, where she insisted on curling up on his lap while they ate. She’s usually not allowed to be at the dinner table while they eat, but… well, Levi couldn’t exactly say no to all three of them, could he?

Isabel claps her hands together and looks at Levi with mock-pleading eyes, jutting out her bottom lip. “Oh please, Levi, can we keep him?”

Levi raises an eyebrow and pretends to think about it for a moment. He might as well play along. “I guess so, but only if you promise to clean up after him.”

Next to him, Erwin chuckles quietly. He reaches over subtly and places a hand on Levi’s knee under the table. Levi nearly jumps out of his skin, but manages to disguise it as shifting in his seat. His hand shifts, moving upwards slowly and eventually settling again high up on his thigh. When he glances at Erwin, all he gets is a small, polite smile.

Isabel grins hugely at Erwin, leaning forwards. “Looks like you’re staying here forever, then.”

“You’ll have to help me pack a bag,” he counters, somehow smiling back with the same intensity as Isabel. All while slowly sliding his hand between Levi’s thighs. When he opens his legs a little bit more, almost instinctively, Erwin’s hand moves further forwards. He rubs Levi through his jeans slowly, and Levi feels himself hardening, and okay, okay, okay.

Levi jumps up, completely startling Croissant and causing her to wriggle off of Erwin’s lap and shoot off out of the kitchen. “I’ll clean up,” he blurts out. He busies himself with taking all of the plates and empty wine glasses to the sink. Erwin looks up at Levi as he takes his plate, one eyebrow raised in concern. He smiles minutely, just to assure him that everything’s okay.

He cleans the dishes as quickly as he can manage whilst still being as meticulous as he usually is, and Erwin and Isabel continue their casual conversation quietly amongst themselves. He dries off his hands and turns around, tossing the handtowel at Isabel’s head. “Alright, fuck off now, it’s my turn.”

Isabel stands up abruptly and throws the towel back at him, missing completely. She’s smiling. “Alright, Mr. Grumpy Bones, I’m going!” She turns to Erwin on her way out and gives a little wave. “It was nice to meet you, I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, you too!”

She turns back just before she leaves the room and stares Levi down, her eyes saying, “Don’t you dare fuck in the kitchen,” in every way.

Levi huffs and slowly walks towards Erwin, waiting until he hears Isabel close her bedroom door behind her until he finally throws one leg over Erwin’s legs and climbs into his lap. “That was pretty mean,” he tells him, quiet and under his breath. He grazes his lips lightly against Erwin’s cheek, feeling him shudder.

“What was?” Erwin asks, smirking slyly.

“You know.” He nudges Erwin’s lips gently; not kissing him yet, but teasing. He puts a hand on Erwin’s cheek, using his thumb to part his lips and open up his mouth, and Erwin chases Levi’s tongue with his own.

They finally kiss, Erwin sighing contently and wrapping his arms perfectly around Levi’s waist. “Which one’s your bedroom again?” Erwin’s words come out as a whisper against Levi’s lips. They kiss again, and Erwin pulls Levi even closer, their chests pressing together. He slides his arms down and heaves both him and Levi up in one movement.

Levi’s legs wrap around Erwin’s waist, clinging to him like his life depends on it. “First door on the left down the corridor, make it quick.”

--

They have their first kind-of-but-really-not date on the following Friday.

It starts with Isabel harassing Levi from the second he gets home from work about how they “absolutely must go out tonight!” As much as he hates to admit it, Levi has never really been able to say no to her – and she knows it, too. That’s why there are photos of them all over the house, and a cat called Croissant.

Levi plays along and protests weakly for all of two minutes before giving in; she really does have him wrapped around her little finger. He feigns annoyance as he trudges to the bathroom to shower, just for the drama of it all. Truth is, they haven’t really had a night out together for a while. She’s been working pretty hard recently, and she deserves to have a nice time.

Levi showers as quickly and as thoroughly as he can manage without Isabel knocking the door down. He barely gets his underwear on before she’s barging into his bedroom and insisting that he dress up, immediately digging through his wardrobe to find him a shirt. She throws a dark blue button-down with white flowers to him – a shirt that she had gifted to him a few months ago after receiving her first paycheque. Levi isn’t really a flowers person at all, but it’s his favourite shirt. He’s allowed to be a sentimental bitch every once and a while.

Isabel pretty much forces him into a pair of inappropriately tight dress pants and pats him sweetly on the cheek. “So handsome!”

He shrugs her off of him, his cheeks growing warm. “Yeah yeah, get ready, and let’s fuckin’ go.”

She orders them both an Uber into the city – with one stop on the way to pick Farlan up – and walks them so quickly to the bar that she’s practically running. They end up in a fancy-looking underground cocktail lounge on the main street. It’s not quite dark out yet, and the clouds are grey and dense with rain. It had rained for most of the day already, but it didn’t seem like it would stop any time soon. Inside, there’s dim, warm lighting from the little chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, swing music playing on the speakers, and a lit fireplace. The whole nine yards.

They’re escorted to a small booth in the corner and given a couple of food and drink menus. Farlan and Levi go into a conversation about their respective days at work while Isabel immediately snatches up the menus and pours over them.

It’s been far too long since Levi and Farlan last caught up properly, but they fly back into comfortable conversation with ease. The three of them have a lot to talk about, especially after a couple of drinks each.

Levi gets up after a while to use the bathroom, slash buy the next round, slash flirt awkwardly with the stupidly cute bartender while he makes their drinks. When he walks back to their table, there are noticeably a couple more strawberries in the glasses than usual. He supposes that’s all he’ll get from his weird flirty banter, but he’s okay with that. He admires the professionality more than he cares for getting his number.

He barely sits back down and starts up the conversation again before Isabel gasps loudly, squirming in her seat. “Erwin’s here!” she squeaks, far too loudly, and pointing at the other side of the restaurant.

And yep. There he is. Of course, she invited him.

Levi hides behind his drink and watches as Erwin rushes over, all handsome and tall and button-up shirt tucked in with the sleeves rolled up and a stupid navy tie, and who even gave him the right to look that good?

“God, sorry I’m late,” Erwin says hurriedly. “We were late with closing, and then I got stuck in some traffic, and then I had to go home and change, and –”

Isabel cuts him off with a wave of her hand. “Don’t worry about it!” She stands up from her seat next to Levi and pats the now-vacant chair. “Sit! I’ll get you a drink – the espresso martinis here are so good.”

She runs off to the bar before Erwin can get another word in, let alone protest to her spending money on him.

There’s a long beat of weird, awkward silence before Farlan sticks his hand out, switching from awkward to his usual friendly self in a split second. “You’re Erwin, then,” he remarks.

Erwin shakes Farlan’s hand. “And you must be Farlan,” he counters. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Isabel.”

“Likewise,” Farlan responds, not without taking a not-so-subtle glance at Levi and raising his eyebrows suggestively. It takes every bit of strength in Levi’s being not to throw his drink straight at him. Instead, he just chews on his flimsy paper straw and grunts in acknowledgement.

“I think you just might be Isabel’s new favourite person,” Farlan continues. “She’s already completely smitten.”

Right on cue, Isabel gently places two espresso martinis down onto the table, before sitting down heavily herself next to Farlan. “If you and Levi split up, I’m totally swooping in and making you my housewife,” she jokes. “I do love some good home cooking.”

Erwin laughs nervously and sips his drink. “Well, I mean… There isn’t really anything to split up,” he adds in, glancing warily at Levi. “So… I suppose I could be your housewife whenever, then.”

All Levi can do is stare down into his drink and fidget with his hands. It is true that they aren’t actually together, but there’s something about the way Erwin said it, just like that - and he sounded so sure about it. For some reason, it hurt.

Levi tries so hard not to wear his emotions on his sleeve. Everyone who’s known him for more than a minute knows that he’d rather shove his head into a spider web than show his emotions, but that hit him differently for some reason. Perhaps it’s just the fact that he was always under the impression that there was something to split up – they’ve been seeing each other regularly for a while – longer than anyone has ever wanted to be around Levi for, other than Isabel and Farlan. Does Erwin actually think that way, or is he saying it because he thinks that’s what Levi thinks?

The thought of that, and coupled with the fact that Isabel didn’t even mention that he was coming, sends his brain into overload. He listens to Isabel and Farlan continue to talk at Erwin, until the staticky feeling in his brain starts to become too much and he downs the rest of his drink in one go. “Excuse me,” he says, getting up on wobbly legs and high tailing it to the bathroom as fast as he can.

He washes his hands once. And again. And then once more, for his own peace of mind.

Levi sighs and stares at himself in the mirror – at his tired, sunken-in eyes; the dryness of his lips and the paleness of his skin; his messy, dark hair. Every part of his brain is screaming at him. That he’s not good enough for Erwin; that he’s just going to leave him at the first chance he gets. It shouldn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, just let it play out. His throat is dry, but he swallows down his anxiety and turns the tap on again, frantically dispensing soap onto his hand.

Two men enter the bathroom, chatting obnoxiously loudly with each other, and Levi uses it as an opportunity to escape back to their table. Nobody says anything, thank God¸ but Isabel slowly pushes a pink cocktail in a jar towards him. She gives him her best puppy-dog eyes, and he forgives her instantly. Of course he does.

His heartbeat thumps loudly in his ears as he sits down next to Erwin. He’s good at acting natural, so he warily hooks his foot around Erwin’s calf and puts a hand down on his thigh. He gets a warm smile in return, and Erwin leans in closer.

“So… Isabel didn’t mention that I was coming, then,” Erwin starts, quietly.

“No, she didn’t.”

“She said that she’s sorry for making you uncomfortable,” he offers.

Levi sighs. “Yeah, I know she is. She just got a bit carried away.”

Erwin raises an eyebrow at him. “There’s not much she can’t get away with with you, huh?” He sounds surprised, as if he hasn’t been in the same room as both of them at once. It’s laughably obvious how lenient Levi is with Isabel. She could come home with a whole litter of kittens, and he’d let her keep all of them if it would make her happy.

Of course, he wouldn’t actually tell her that, because she’d probably come home with a box full of cats the next day. But the sentiment is still there.

Levi shrugs passively. “She’s like a little sister to me,” he explains. “It’d be very un-big-brotherly of me to not let her get away with everything.”

That seems to make Erwin smile. “That’s really sweet.”

They sip their drinks together, in a silence that’s comfortable but still so painfully awkward.

Across the table, Isabel and Farlan are arguing over a basket of sweet potato fries – Farlan keeps stealing all of the crispy ones before Isabel can even look at them, how dare he. They’re both laughing about it, but Levi really wouldn’t be surprised if Isabel jumped over the table and started clawing at him.

Levi stays mostly quiet for the next hour or so, only chiming in on conversation every now and then. He just sits and sips on cocktail after cocktail, sinking into a fuzzy haze. By the time everyone starts to get ready to leave, his cheeks are numb, and it takes him a good few seconds to stand up on his shaky legs.

“We should head home before I spend all of my money,” Isabel sighs, pulling her coat over her shoulders.

Erwin slowly stands up and looks around at them, unsure what to do with himself. Isabel hooks her arm around Erwin’s and pulls herself close to his side.

“Come back to ours,” she says, looking up at him. “I have some wine left, and you can stay the night.” She turns to Levi. God, she knows he can’t resist her stupid puppy-dog eyes. “Right?”

Levi shrugs, acting as nonchalant as he can. “Sounds good.”

Erwin smiles, “Sounds good to me, too.”

--

It’s not long until Isabel is wine-drunk and singing and swaying around the kitchen with Croissant huddled securely to her chest, whilst Levi, Erwin, and Farlan play Uno at the table. It’s definitely not Levi’s game of choice – not by a long shot. He’s unnecessarily competitive and impatient, and everyone knows that when you mix that with Uno, friendships get destroyed and someone ends up crying. He sits there, grumpy as ever and holding about fifteen cards, and glares at Farlan from across the table. He somehow managed to get all of the pick up four and reversal cards, completely fucking Levi over, because he’s a fucking coward who doesn’t even dare target the new guy.

“Fucking hell Is, it’s your turn,” Levi groans, picking up her hand and throwing it at her weakly. The cards flutter down around her and land softly at her feet.

“Noooo, no cards. Time to dance with the baby.” The baby, who is actually a four-year-old adult cat, seems content to just sit in her arms and be swayed.

Erwin looks on with amusement. It’s the first time since they got home that Croissant hasn’t stuck to Erwin like glue. (Although, she did get a bit upset about being stolen from her comfortable perch on his lap.)

“My turn, then!” Farlan says. He’s far too excited, Levi notices. And… yep, another pick up two card. Yet again, Levi doesn’t have anything to refute it with. He grumbles in annoyance as he picks up another two. He’s so getting his ass beaten later.

Next to him, Erwin takes his turn, happily exclaiming, “Uno!” as he sets down a yellow reversal card.

Levi throws his card onto the pile unceremoniously, and then Farlan takes his turn, and ultimately, Erwin is declared the winner.

“Thank fuck that’s over,” Levi hisses, dropping the rest of his cards onto the table. “I forgot that you’re an asshole.”

Farlan laughs happily. “Not my fault you’re bad at Uno.”

“I will punch you, and you know I will,” Levi challenges, standing up. It’s all just casual banter, and they both know that he probably wouldn’t punch Farlan. (Probably.)

“Let’s go, then!” Farlan jumps to his feet, puffing out his chest comically. He moves into an open space and beckons at Levi, planting his feet down firmly on the ground and bracing himself.

Erwin looks alarmed, but he doesn’t say anything. He just watches quietly as Levi lets out a (reasonably volumed) war cry and immediately pounces on Farlan like a cat. Their actual cat squirms out of Isabel’s arms and bolts off out of the kitchen. They wrestle with each other, and it’s like they’re kids again. Except much less messy, and more… two men who are getting way too old for wrestling.

Levi manages to pin Farlan down, jamming his hands under his shirt and wriggling them against his sides. He tickles Farlan until he’s a mess of laughter and surprisingly high-pitched noises, thrashing around and begging him to stop.

“It’s like watching two puppies fight,” Erwin remarks amusedly. He steps back cautiously when Levi’s head whips around to look at him.

“You wanna go too, big boy?”

Erwin raises an eyebrow at him. “You really think you could take me down?” he challenges. He thinks for a second before adding a wary sounding, “Short stuff?”

Isabel and Farlan gasp dramatically. “You didn’t,” Isabel laughed.

Levi gets up rather ungracefully and starts towards Erwin, flipping his hair out of his face and cracking his knuckles. Erwin doesn’t seem to be too worried by his “boy on the streets” intimidation tactic. He seems confident that Levi won’t actually hurt him or anything, but they both know that Levi is stronger than he looks.

Levi is also a lot quicker than he looks, too, and he manages to dodge around Erwin and jump up onto his back. He uses all of his weight to clumsily pull Erwin down onto the ground, rolling him over onto his back and throwing a leg over his body to straddle him. Isabel cheers for him enthusiastically. Even though Erwin’s tipsy state makes it a lot easier to take him down, he still huffs in triumph at his win.

“I wasn’t expecting you to actually be able to do it,” Erwin observes. He subtly places a hand on Levi’s thigh, stroking it gently. “I stand corrected.”

Levi grumbles under his breath nervously, his face warm and flushed. He moves to stand up and Erwin strikes, wrapping his arms around Levi and flipping him over onto the ground. The impact knocks the wind out of Levi’s lungs a little bit, and he gasps for breath.

“You dirty bitch,” Levi hisses, immediately struggling to regain control. Erwin just laughs and sits down heavily on his thighs, restricting his movement.

Erwin shrugs, grabbing Levi’s hands and pinning them down by his head. “You don’t win by playing nice and following rules.”

Levi sticks up his nose at Erwin, giving him his best annoyed face.

All he gets in return is a big grin as Erwin leans down, pressing a kiss on the tip of his nose. “For such an angry little man, you sure are cute,” he points out.

From the kitchen, Farlan fakes gagging sounds. “I’m going to throw up, stop it.” Isabel giggles next to him.

Just to be rude, Erwin leans down and kisses Levi properly, laughing against his mouth. And what kind of person would Levi be if he didn’t kiss him back?

--

It happens slowly, but eventually, Erwin ends up spending most of his time at Levi and Isabel’s place. It started as one or two times a week, but then Levi suggests that it could be nice if Erwin spent a weekend there. After that, his toothbrush starts making an appearance in the bathroom, and Levi finds at least three pairs of his underwear in his wardrobe. They go to work at the same time, Levi comes home, and then he and Croissant just sit and wait for Erwin to come back a couple of hours. Sometimes it feels like years, but he doesn’t think too far into that.

Levi isn’t entirely sure what it is that keeps Erwin coming back. It could be that he gets along with Isabel really well. Both her and Croissant seem to follow him around wherever he goes. He comes home one day to all three of them asleep on the couch, some cheesy TV show playing in the background. He tries not to feel too jealous about their bond, because he and Erwin do still spend plenty of time alone together. But Levi just seems to struggle to connect with people in the same way that Isabel has always been able to, and he’s always been uncomfortably insecure about that.

Awkward lapses in conversation slowly turn into comfortable silences, though, and slowly but surely, it gets easier.

It’s hard for Levi to believe that someone like Erwin could genuinely like him, sometimes. He wouldn’t exactly brand himself as someone who’s easy to tolerate, never mind actually like. But apparently Erwin, who is relentlessly pleasant to be around and far easier to get along with than Levi is himself, really, actually, genuinely likes him.

Levi brushes his teeth and stares at Erwin’s razor, sitting on the side of the sink. It’s just sitting there, like it pays rent or something. And it should annoy him, but it doesn’t. Erwin is very slowly invading his home, his social life, his thoughts. Surprisingly, he’s okay with it. What started out as a hook-up and then really good casual sex is now… a friendship, he guesses. The sex is still good too, which is a bonus.

He sighs and puts his toothbrush back in its holder. What is he turning into?

--

They don’t see each other for about two weeks, making sure to text every now and then and communicate through Isabel. Even Levi will admit that it gets a little sad around the house without Erwin around. Croissant goes all around the house trying to find him, and Levi feels bad enough for her that he lets her sleep in his bed for a couple of nights.

Levi comes home on Thursday night from what is turning out to be his longest and most exhausting week in a long time. He fully intends on just lying on the kitchen floor with his cat for the next few hours and disintegrating into a pile of sand. He groans, hanging his work bag up on the hook by the front door, and heads towards the kitchen. The smell of sautéing onions gets stronger the closer he gets, accompanied by some faint pop song on the radio. “God, Isabel, I swear,” he starts, “if another one of the assholes I work with tests me, I’m going to start punching.”

He rounds the corner into the kitchen, only to be met by broad shoulders and blond hair. He blinks at Erwin, standing at the stove with Levi’s stupid old apron on. It’s pink, with big black letters on that front that invite you to kiss the cook. It’s also about two sizes too small on Erwin, and Levi has to work hard to suppress his laughter. “My, Isabel, you sure do look different today, did you cut your hair?”

“Ha ha, very funny,” Erwin replies, turning back to the stove. “She let me in and went out for the night.”

“Right,” Levi says, suspicious. He approaches the kitchen island cautiously. Croissant is sitting on one of the stools, flicking her fluffy tail and watching Erwin intently. He sits on the stool next to her and reaches over to pet her head.

“I mean,” Erwin continues, pushing the contents of the pan around slowly, “she told me you were having a bad week and invited me over. Y’know, to help make you feel better.”

While he has never met them, Levi knows that Erwin has friends of his own. Which, as Levi understands it, loosely translates to having something better to do with his time. He doesn’t say that, though, because the last time he brought it up, Erwin just looked really sad and said, “What could be better than this?” Levi felt guilty for a whole week after that.

“I have this whole thing planned for tonight, so you can just go sit down and relax,” Erwin explains, reaching over to turn the kettle on. “I’ll bring a cup of tea out for you.”

Levi starts to protest, but Erwin gives him a look of pure don’t even try that’s somehow scary enough to scare Levi, of all people, into just shutting up and following instructions.

He heads into the living room, taking off his blazer on the way and folding it up neatly, placing it carefully on one of the armchairs. He throws himself down onto the couch, clicking the on button on the TV remote. He doesn’t really indulge himself on TV at all, but flips the channel until he lands on the opening song of this soap opera that he and Isabel started watching ages ago. She slowly lost interest and stopped watching, but Levi still catches up on it every now and then.

Erwin comes in and sets a mug down on the coffee table, taking care to put a coaster down first. Levi watches as he meticulously shifts the coaster around until it’s in the exact spot (more or less) that Levi puts it every time he uses it. He softly kisses Levi on the forehead on his way out, having said nothing about his evening TV viewing choices – Levi sighs in relief at that.

Levi takes a big gulp of his tea and sits back. He swims in and out of consciousness for a little bit, only half paying attention to his show. It’s been such a long and shitty week that he can’t even watch his favourite soap opera for longer than ten minutes without just wanting to fall asleep immediately.

The next thing he knows, Erwin is standing over Levi and gently shaking his shoulder. “Dinner’s ready,” he says softly when Levi opens his eyes.

Levi groans and crawls off of the couch, still half asleep. His soap’s credits sequence is playing on the TV, so at least he hasn’t been asleep for too long. He follows Erwin to the dining room, yawning obnoxiously loudly as he trails slowly behind him. “Thanks for making dinner,” he mumbles. “I’m so exhausted, I probably would’ve forgotten to eat again.”

Erwin laughs quietly. “Yeah, Isabel mentioned that you haven’t been eating properly.”

“Figures,” Levi sighs, sitting down at the table. There’s a big bowl of spaghetti bolognese (with real meat) in front of him, and a big loaf of garlic bread in the middle of the table. “Oh God,” he moans, reaching straight for the end piece of the loaf. “I am so in love.”

He doesn’t even try to back-peddle on that – he just immediately blocks it out of his memories and shoves the entire slice of garlic bread into his mouth at once. Thankfully, Erwin just sits down and doesn’t mention it at all, looking noticeably redder in the face.

Levi scarfs down his dinner in record time, downing an entire glass of water afterwards. “You’re too good at this,” he sighs. “Maybe you should be our live-in chef.”

“I’m sure Isabel will be very happy to hear that,” Erwin replies. “And Croissant, of course. She was absolutely screaming at me when I got here.”

“Stupid fucking cat.” Levi says it with all of the love he can muster. After all, they’re not that dissimilar when it comes to Erwin these days – always wanting to spend time with each other. He almost rolls his eyes at himself – he’s turned into such a fucking sap, it almost makes him sick.

They sit there for a little longer while Erwin finishes his own dinner, keeping up quiet casual conversation. Levi slowly eats away at the rest of the garlic bread, despite having eaten way too much and way too quickly. The bread is just so good, though, that he can’t resist.

Erwin takes their plates to the kitchen and gets to tidying up. Levi rests his chin in his hands and watches him work. He cleans up thoroughly and efficiently, and fuck, Levi should not be as turned on by that as he is – and yet…

Before he fully realises he’s doing it, Levi gets up from his seat and approaches Erwin, turning him around and kissing him straight on the lips. Between the tea, dinner, cleaning up afterwards, and just being here in general – Levi just can’t resist. He has always been independent, never relying on anyone, but letting Erwin look after him for just one night is just so refreshing.

Levi pulls back slowly and watches as Erwin stands there with his eyes still closed and his lips still parted and looking so beautiful; and before he can stop it, a little voice in his mind says, “Fuck, I’m in love with you.”

“Oh,” he says, out loud. It’s the first time he’s ever allowed himself to think about it. It slipped out, really – he’s been in denial about it for months now, shoving any thought even beginning with L deep into a little locked box in his mind.

Erwin opens his eyes and raises an eyebrow. He replies with a quiet, “Oh?” in return.

Levi laughs nervously, pulling away and backing the fuck up and out of Erwin’s general vicinity as fast as he can. He’s suddenly sweating buckets, and he can feel it sliding down his back – taunting him. “Oh!” he repeats. “Would you just look at the time.” He pulls his sleeve up to reveal his watch-less wrist. “I should go take a shower.”

Erwin looks conflicted for a second, cocking his head to the side like a confused dog, but he suddenly perks up and reaches out to grab Levi’s arm before he can run off to the bathroom. Any reaction to Levi’s sudden weirdness is thrown out the window as a shy smile spreads across his face. “Wait here a minute. I was going to draw you a bath as a nice surprise.” He pauses. “Well, I suppose it’s not much of a surprise now, but…”

“Oh,” Levi says again. He cringes at his overuse of the word and digs his nails into his palm, cursing this ridiculous gay panic. “That sounds good.”

Erwin happily trots off towards the bathroom, leaving Levi to stand around awkwardly in the kitchen. It’s almost too good. Dinner and a bath wouldn’t exactly be the most luxurious thing in the world in a lot of people’s eyes, but the most that Levi has ever gotten in terms of – he guesses – romantic gestures, is a one-night stand ordering food to his house after sex.

Erwin is making things very difficult for him, indeed.

While he’s in the kitchen, Levi busies himself with feeding Croissant for the night. The spoilt little cat meows loudly at his feet as he’s tipping a tin of Fancy Feast onto her plate. He puts the plate down for her and she immediately goes for it, scarfing the entire thing down in record time. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she was being starved to death.

Levi squats down next to Croissant and strokes her back while she eats. It must be nice to be a cat, he thinks. Sitting around all day, not having to go to work or file taxes. Or deal with the feelings that you’ve been repressing for your friend-with-benefits, that have now reared their ugly little head despite how far you try to shove them down.

Not that Levi is bitter about it or anything.

Erwin calls out to him from the bathroom, and Levi gives Croissant one final scratch under the chin before he heads off to the bathroom.

He’s not sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t a bathroom filled to the brim with candles, a portable speaker playing quiet classical music, and a bath full of bubbles. Erwin is sitting down on the edge of the toilet lid, looking nervous as all hell.

It’s romantic, that’s for sure.

And all Levi can do is just start laughing. To make it worse, the sad, dejected look on Erwin’s face just makes him laugh even more. “Oh, God- Erwin, no, don’t worry,” he huffs. “This is really lovely, I swear.”

He’s not sure he’s ever referred to anything as lovely before in his life, but he’s being truthful. He forces his face back into a neutral expression and crosses over to the other side of the bedroom in a couple of strides, taking Erwin’s face in his hands and kissing him. “Really. Thank you.”

Levi starts to undress himself, placing his folded clothes in a neat, ordered pile on the counter by the sink. He can feel Erwin’s eyes burning into him as he takes off his underwear, and then even hotter still as he steps carefully into the bathtub and sinks down into the water. He sighs, and closes his eyes, and suddenly all of the stupid shit from the past week melts away in a mix of green tea scented bubble bath and vanilla candles. Fuck, it feels good.

“Are you going to join me or just sit there and stare at me like a creep for an hour?” Levi asks, rolling his head to face Erwin.

Erwin is hardly able to hold his excitement as he gets to his feet, taking his clothes off in record time. Levi sits forwards so that Erwin can slip into the tub behind him. The tub is pretty big, but Erwin still has to bend his knees to be able to sit in it. It’s still comfortable though, and Levi lets Erwin wrap his arms around his waist and pull him back against his chest.

With Erwin’s lips pressing little kisses against his cheeks and his fingers stroking little circles on his ribs – this may be the most relaxed he’s ever been.

--

After they get out of the bath and dry off, Erwin leads Levi to the bedroom. As if dinner and a bath weren’t enough, he gets Levi to lie naked and face-down on the bed for a massage. Erwin puts down a towel, brings a couple of candles in from the bathroom and sits, also naked, on the back of Levi’s knees.

The massage oil is cold as it drips onto his back, but it smells like coconut and it soon warms up when Erwin’s large hands glide up from the base of his spine to his shoulders. His entire body feels like it’s melting into the sheets as Erwin works out some of the most egregious knots in his shoulders and neck.

Levi sighs contentedly. “You better not have anything else planned. This is already so much.”

“This is the last thing,” Erwin chuckles. He leans over Levi’s body, pressing his chest against his back and kissing the back of his neck, and moving a short distance down his spine. “I promise.”

All Levi can do whilst Erwin is massaging his entire body is just lie there and moan quietly. He’s not really the type of guy to get massages, so he doesn’t have anything to compare it to, but Erwin does a damn good job at it. It’s hard for him to believe that anyone could do any better – especially when Erwin lightly presses his fingers between the tops of Levi’s thighs, sliding them up and cupping his buttocks firmly in his hands. From that point on, Levi is almost painfully hard.

He starts to squirm in his spot – not out of discomfort or anything, but pure anticipation. It’s obviously turning out to be one of those sorts of massages; especially with Erwin’s erection pressing firmly between his thighs. Levi isn’t exactly complaining about it, but Erwin sure is taking his sweet time to move onto anything further.

“Okay,” Erwin mumbles, sitting up on his knees a little bit. “Turn around.”

Levi flips himself over, raising his arms up to cover his eyes. Erwin applies more oil onto his hands and Levi can’t help but sigh as his hands move up his stomach and press into his chest. His gentle fingers circle Levi’s nipples, and God, he’s never felt so sensitive there in his life. He gasps loudly and arches his back when Erwin finally brushes the pads of his thumbs over them.

“Fuck, fuck,” Levi hisses, squeezing his eyes shut. His cock is throbbing and leaking against his stomach. Thankfully, Erwin decides not to tease him too much this time and goes straight into slowly moving his palm up the shaft of Levi’s cock before loosely wrapping his hand around it. He uses his other hand to nudge Levi’s legs apart and rub against his inner thighs, eventually sliding down between his cheeks to caress his perineum. It almost feels like too much stimulation, but in a good way. Honestly, he feels a little cheated that none of the hand jobs he’s ever received have felt like this.

Erwin’s hands speed up, his fingers inching further down to press and rub up against his entrance. Levi draws in a sharp breath when his middle finger finally penetrates him. He doesn’t take his time in sliding his finger further in, eliciting a loud moan from Levi when he crooks his finger up into his prostate.

He seems to be getting a lot of satisfaction in the reactions he’s getting from Levi, if the soft smile on his face is anything to go by. “How are you feeling?” he asks, tightening his grip a little bit.

Levi sighs, “Good, good,” and lifts his legs up a little bit for easier access. Erwin takes it as an opportunity to add in another finger, pressing a firm kiss onto Levi’s knee. His fingers press up against Levi’s prostate at the same moment his other thumb rubs against his frenulum, and Levi’s whole body twitches almost violently. Erwin raises a thick eyebrow at that, letting out a soft, “Oh?”

Having found the sweet spot, he sticks to stroking those two places in particular, and the more he strokes, the more vocal Levi gets. It’s the loudest he’s ever been during sex – which isn’t that much of a challenge to beat, since he was usually strangely quiet. But the noises he’s making are downright pathetic. Even so, coupled with the fact that he’s legitimately panting and his body keeps twitching involuntarily, he can’t bring himself to feel too embarrassed about his body’s reaction to the stimulation.

His orgasm builds up in the pits of his stomach, tingling up his spine, and Erwin just keeps speeding up little by little. Luckily for Levi, it doesn’t take too long for his entire body to explode with pleasure – and explode it does. Levi comes, and his whole body shakes with it, and it just keeps going. His pathetic little moans evolve into frantic crying – so bad that he has to shove his face into the sheets to muffle most of it. “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, fuck,” Levi hisses, scrunching his eyes shut and practically crying into the sheets. “Fuck, I love you, Jesus fuck.”

Tears roll down his cheeks as his body starts to calm down a little bit, and he manages to wipe them away with the back of his hand. Erwin doesn’t say anything – he just strokes Levi’s hair and leans in to press little kisses on his forehead.

They lie there for a few moments, Erwin whispering praise in Levi’s ear as he tries to calm down and stop the physical aftershocks of his orgasm. It takes him a good ten minutes for his body to finally settle and stop feeling like it’s floating. He looks up at Erwin, and then it clicks. Oh no.

“That was… um,” Levi starts. He digs his fingernails into the palms of his hands and cringes internally. Erwin is looking back at him with wide eyes. There’s no way he missed it. Change the subject as quickly as you can. “I think you’ve killed me.”

“Is that good or bad?” Erwin asks, giving Levi a pitiful little smile.

“Good,” Levi confirms. “I totally blacked out for a minute there. Like… I almost have no idea what happened.”

Erwin looks a little confused, but Levi just chooses to ignore it and rolls away. He sits up, and immediately his vision floods with static. He groans and waits a few moments before he crawls off of the bed. His legs nearly give way when he stands up, but he manages to stay on his feet and pull on his underwear without falling over. “I’m going to shower this oil off of me.”

“Good idea.”

“Are you staying the night…?” Levi asks warily, completely unsure of whether he wanted him to or not.

“I’d like to stay,” Erwin confirms.

“Okay.” Levi stands there awkwardly for a beat too long, before basically sprinting down the hall and into the bathroom. He closes the door behind him a little bit too hard and leans his back against the door, sliding his hands over his face.

Fuck.

--

“You did what?!”

Levi just sits there, looking down at his hands in shame. Needless to say, Isabel didn’t take the news of Levi accidentally telling Erwin he loved him and then completely back-pedalling – y’know, like a coward – very well. She leans forwards and smackshim on the head. “Ouch, you bitch!” Levi yelps, grabbing his head. “What was I supposed to do?!”

“Oh, gosh, I don’t know, maybe just fucking tell him how you feel?” Isabel exclaims.

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Isabel counters. “You’re both obviously crazy for each other. Are you that stupid?”

All Levi can do is shrug. While it is true that he is a bit crazy about Erwin, he’s not really sure if he loves him. It’s not like he has anything else to compare to – he’s never been in a relationship or even really liked anyone before, so how should he know whether or not he’s in love with Erwin? They’ve been seeing each other for a while – longer than Levi has ever seen anyone by a longshot – and Levi cares about him just as much as he cares about Isabel and Farlan, but that doesn’t necessarily have to mean that he’s in love.

And what if Erwin doesn’t feel the same way about him? When Levi said that he loved him, Erwin didn’t say anything back. Granted, the entire situation was awkward and weird, but… He didn’t say anything about it then, and he hasn’t said anything about it since.

Isabel sighs, throwing her head down into her hands. “Why are you like this?” she groans, and Levi suddenly feels like a child who’s being lectured by his teacher. She lifts her head. “Do you remember when I was dating Sophie? And for months she was the only thing I talked or thought about. Like, it was so bad that you started spraying me with water every time I even said her name.”

“Yeah?”

“You sit around waiting for him to message, and if he’s not here you mope around the house all day until he asks if he can come over.”

“I don’t mope,” he argues.

…

Okay, maybe he does mope a little.

Isabel flaps her hand in his direction. “Whatever. I’m basically saying that you’re acting exactly like I used to, and it’s so obvious.” She sighs and leans forwards towards him. “Look. It’s okay if you don’t feel ready to tell him. If you’re too scared to acknowledge that you love him, or if you don’t think you do just yet, you don’t have to do anything at all.”

For the first time in a longtime, Levi doesn’t know what to do.

Maybe he is falling in love, but where does he go from there? If Erwin tells him that he loves him, do they start calling each other boyfriends? The idea of calling someone his boyfriend at thirty fucking years old just feels so weird to him – hell, it would’ve felt weird to him as a kid. And if Erwin doesn’t feel the same way and doesn’t want to see him anymore, what will he do then? He can’t even begin to imagine his life without Erwin in it anymore.

The idea of losing Erwin makes him feel sick.

Levi groans and throws his head back. “God fucking damn it,” he sighs. He brings his hands up to his face and digs his fingers into his eyelids. “I’m going to have to tell him for real, aren’t I?”

Chuckling, Isabel leans over to pat Levi’s knee. “Good luck.”

--

He doesn’t have anything close to a coherent plan in mind, but Levi invites Erwin over on the following Saturday.

He arrives at Levi’s house at noon with a paper bag full of different kinds of doughnuts and a cappuccino for Levi, who drinks it so fast that it burns his throat on the way down. The caffeine calms him down a little bit, but his hands are still shaking as Erwin says hello to Croissant, shouts his greeting to Isabel in her room, and throws himself down onto the couch.

He needs to say something.

Despite Levi’s jittery nerves, Erwin seems to be acting exactly the same as he always does. He smiles up at Levi and pats his knees, beckoning him to come and sit down. Levi complies, slowly slinking over to climb into Erwin’s lap. He pulls Levi down, kissing him on the mouth and sliding a hand up the back of his shirt. He idly strokes Levi’s back, fingers skimming over the ridges of his spine and causing Levi to melt even further into Erwin’s embrace.

Levi sighs happily, his hands immediately finding their place in Erwin’s hair and pushing his fingers through to separate the shitty hair-wax that he insists on using.

He really needs to say something. How hard does it have to be to tell someone that you love them, when you’ve already said it before?

But Erwin is warm, despite how cold it is outside, and Levi can feel himself finally calming down for the first time all day. Why does he even have to bring it up? It would be so much easier to just wait until Erwin brings it up himself. Or until he gets sick of him, Levi supposes – which would probably be so much worse, now that he thinks about it.

Winter is finally creeping up, and the more time he spends with Erwin, the more he begins to dread the idea of spending the season alone. He doesn’t peg himself for a particularly traditional person, nor a romantic, but spending the holiday season without him there would just feel wrong. Seeing people in their happy couples never really bothered Levi too much in the past, but there was always the tiniest feeling inside of his chest that felt a little too much like loneliness. Not to mention that they’ve all already gotten so used to Erwin being around, and Levi is in way too deep.

Erwin eases up, nudging his lips against Levi’s gently and slipping his hand down to his ass. He hums contentedly as Erwin’s long fingers dig firmly into his skin, acting as a way to pull him closer. His lips slowly find their way down Levi’s neck, and Erwin gently nudges his Adam’s apple with his tongue, eventually attaching onto his neck and sucking and licking its way down to his collarbone. There’s a sharp curl of pleasure deep within Levi’s core, and he can’t help the startled hiccup that forces its way out of his mouth.

“Fuuuck, alright.” Levi pulls back from Erwin suddenly and scrambles to climb off of his lap.

Erwin’s eyebrows shoot up and he sits up, carefully folding his hands in his lap. “What’s wrong?”

“God, um…” Levi shifts nervously. He wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans, sinking his teeth into the inside of his bottom lip. “You know, the other night. When I said… That I. Love you. Or whatever.”

Erwin blinks slowly at him. “I… didn’t think you’d want me to bring it up.”

“Yeah, well…” Levi digs his fingernails into his thigh and looks away. “I guess I’m bringing it up.”

“Okay,” Erwin says slowly. “You’re going to say that you didn’t mean it, right? Like, you just said it in the moment.” He sounds pretty sure of himself, Levi notices. He wonders if Erwin went through it in his head over and over, trying to convince himself that he didn’t mean it – just like Levi did.

Levi shrugs. “I did say it in the moment,” he confirms. He hazards a glance at Erwin for a second, and looks into his eyes, and sees just how startled he seems. There really isn’t any way he can’t tell him now, and the worst Erwin can do is reject him. It will only mean years of crippling embarrassment and loneliness for Levi, but he’s sure he’s been through worse in his life.

He takes a deep breath and turns around so that he isn’t facing Erwin anymore. Here goes. “The thing is,” he starts, slowly, “I think I do. Love you.”

There it is.

He did it, he did it, he did it.

Levi lets go of the huge sigh that’s been weighing him down all day. He’s still absolutely shitting himself, but it feels great to finally get it off of his chest. He has never laid his heart out to anyone like this before. He takes a couple of moments to breathe and slowly turns around to look at Erwin again. And… Erwin just staring at him with his mouth open was not exactly the reaction he thought he would get.

“I was–” Erwin’s voice cracks, and he clears his throat “…not expecting that.”

Levi is suddenly hit by a rush of oh fuck, oh God, oh no, and slowly pulls further back. He’s not sure exactly what he was expecting himself – total and complete rejection, maybe, but not… awkward, stunned silence. He can’t even run away, because it’s his house. Fuck, he knew he should’ve done it at Erwin’s place.

Still, he considers bolting anyway because he doesn’t think there is anything he has ever hated more than telling someone that he loves them for the first time and just getting stared at.

He’s just about to stand up and make his escape, but Erwin leans forwards and places a hand gently onto his thigh. “Tell me again.”

Levi clears his throat, and suddenly he’s completely nervous all over again. “I think I’m in love with you,” he mumbles. For good measure, he tentatively adds, “Erwin.”

Erwin suddenly leans in closer, pressing a hard kiss onto Levi’s mouth and sliding a hand up into his hair. He wraps an arm around Levi’s waist and pulls him in closer until their chests are pressed up against each other. He pulls back slowly, and he’s smiling, and he says, “I think I’m in love with you, too,” and Levi feels the weight lift off of his shoulders.

“You kept me waiting a little too long for that, y’know?” Levi says, leaning back. “I thought you were about to get up and leave.”

“I’m sorry.” Erwin chuckles, and kisses him again. “I would never do that to you, I promise.”

“That’s okay,” Levi says, just about melting. He pulls Erwin on top of him and kisses the hell out of him.

--

In all of the years that Levi has known Isabel, there has never been anything that has stopped her from going all out for Christmas, and this year is no different. She buys her presents months in advance, and absolutely insists on decorating immediately after Halloween.

Levi hates it. He hates Christmas, and he hates decorating, but it’s not like he could stop her. That would just be wrong.

Most of all, he hates the Christmas tree. He hates how the plastic leaves scratch his hands, and how difficult it is to screw it into the shitty metal stand, and he can’t stand the fact that Isabel and Farlan seemingly have no eye for decoration. They just throw ornaments and tinsel of all colours onto the tree and call it a day. It’s genuinely painful, and Isabel is lucky that he loves her so much. And if he subtly fixes her decoration monstrosities every now and then, no one has to know.

Levi watches in horror as Isabel haphazardly throws green tinsel onto the tree, completely covering up at least five of the baubles Levi had hung himself. She smirks sideways at Levi, and he concludes that there’s no way she isn’t doing it on purpose.

Beside him, Erwin chuckles quietly to himself and leans over to wrap an arm around Levi’s shoulders. “I can’t believe you’re just letting her do this,” he notes. “You must be more whipped than I thought.”

“He is!” Farlan says happily, tossing another string of tinsel at the tree. It lands almost directly on top of another string, and they just leave it there. Because they’re monsters.

Levi grumbles, crossing his arms. “She does it on purpose because she knows I can’t say anything about it,” he explains. He has to try extra hard not to cringe in disgust. “Christmas is the only time of the year where I’m not allowed to complain.”

Humming in what Levi chooses to believe to be a sympathetic manner, Erwin pulls on Levi’s shoulders until his head is resting in his lap. He takes the opportunity to curl up and shield his eyes from the horror unfolding in front of him, and pretty much melts into the couch as Erwin runs his fingers through his hair.

“And there’s still two months of Christmas left!” Isabel exclaims, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Yay,” Levi responds, completely unenthusiastically.

As November rolls on into December, Erwin and Farlan start to spend nearly every day at the house. It starts with Farlan, who usually spends most of the holidays with them every year, and Levi supposes that Erwin just follows his lead. It makes sense, he supposes, since Erwin doesn’t really have family to spend time with during the holidays either.

He wouldn’t admit it, but Levi is the happiest that he’s ever felt now that Erwin is around every day. They slowly fall into new routines, and it definitely helps that Erwin has plenty of time to bake holiday-themed treats. Whilst they both have time off of work, it’s easy to slip into a comfortable state of sitting down in front of the TV, cooking, “family bonding night” with Isabel and Farlan, and making out all week.

Levi can’t remember ever being excited for Christmas, but he bought Erwin an expensive Damascus-patterned Santoku knife, and there are some nights where he genuinely can’t get to sleep from how excited he is to see the look on his face when he gives it to him – and sometimes, from how nervous he is at the thought that Erwinn won’t even like it.

On Christmas Eve, he waits no later than 12:03am to sit Erwin down in front of the fireplace and give him the meticulously wrapped giftbox that has been giving him so much anxiety lately. He watches with a full heart as Erwin takes his time to unwrap it, being extra careful not to tear the wrapping paper or crease the nice ribbon that Levi used. He takes the lid off of the fancy wooden box that the knife resides inside, taking his sweet time as though he knows exactly how much the anticipation is killing Levi.

“Oh wow,” is all Erwin says once he sets the lid down. He gently picks up the knife and turns it around in his hands, not even attempting to stifle the huge grin that crosses his face. “This is lovely, Levi. I’m almost a bit scared to use it, it’s so nice.”

Levi just shrugs. “It can just be for decoration.”

Erwin gently puts the knife away and leans forwards to land a hard kiss on Levi’s mouth, “Thank you so much. I love it.” He adds, “I love you,” and Levi can’t help but push him down onto the floor and crawl on top of him. The world outside is slowly filling up with white snow and holiday chill, and the crackling fireplace isn’t the only thing keeping them so warm on their first of many Christmases together.

[salty-ironstrange-shipper]

May I has moar cherik fic recs please??

damn, y’all are GREEDY for cherik fics .... I, of course, have more, but damn

as usual, in order of shortest to longest

Brandished Steel, Wicked Rook

Words: 1,057

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Charles’ bare skin is awash in flame and darkness as he lies there, hair splayed over his forehead and eyes as black as crow feathers, glistening. His lips are bright and wet and red. And he says, in his red way, “All hail, Macbeth.”

AU in which Erik and Charles are Macbeth and "Lady" Macbeth, respectively.

Inspired by both the original play and the film version of Macbeth (2015) directed by Justin Kurzel.

Opinion: This is a weird one because it’s very short and not something I would usually read - but at the same time, the dynamic and writing style and reference makes it feel like it was written for me specifically. Macbeth is my favorite Shakespeare play by far, and Fassbender is very good in the 2015 film. This fic makes me wish it was 60,000 words. If at some point I actually finish my current WIPs, I might force myself to write a long cherik Macbeth AU, and it would be incredibly self-indulgent, smutty, and morally grey/dark. Because I deserve it.

Spark Me Up

Words: 3,007

Rating: Explicit

Summary: "This is Erik raw. This is Erik lost. This is Erik looking at Charles like he is the only piece of wreckage in a vast ocean. The only star in the sky.

And such a look does things to Charles."

After ten years, they are both starving for each other.

Opinion: This one’s a little different. After years in solitary confinement (taking place in Days of Future Past), Erik is very touch-starved and he and Charles ..... get to touching. 

Erik is asexual in this fic and tagged as such, so if asexual characters participating is sexual acts is off-putting to you, maybe give this one a skip.

Never a Place

Words: 3,047

Rating: Teen and Up 

Summary: It takes some getting used to. Charles hasn’t seen Erik cheerful, actually cheerful without a homicidal intent of some sort in a very long time—perhaps never.

Or. Charles takes Erik up on his offer while trying to process everything. Erik is remarkably patient until he isn't.

Opinion: Erik and Charles in Genosha post-Dark Phoenix! Very cute!

You, you, you are what I want

Words: 4,803

Rating: Explicit 

Summary: "Erik was so sure Charles was interested in him as well that whenever the telepath backed away from him it felt extremely confusing."

Opinion: Got some trans!Charles Xavier and Erik being smitten. Always a good combo.

On a Beach, With You

Words: 6,495

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Charles Xavier meets Erik Lehnsherr on a beach in Israel.

Opinion: Charles and Erik meet, fall in love, and get married in like, 2 weeks. It’s cute, it’s fun, it’s well-written, the smut is good, and you kind of think to yourself “yeah normally getting married after knowing each other for so little time is a bad idea, but damn if I don’t think these two can make it”. Definitely worth a read!

Emissary Requiring Interplanetary Cooperation

Words: 15,584

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Charles is drunkenly wandering home one night when he sees a bright light in a field. To his delight, the cause of the light is a gorgeous alien in the form of a man with the biggest dick he's ever seen.

Opinion: Incredibly fun and cracky smut. Enjoy. I know I did ;)

Made To Be Broken

Words: 18,220

Rating: Explicit 

Summary: Charles makes a New Year's Resolution: “No more straight men,” Charles repeated as he began scrolling through the apartment directory for Emma’s name. “No more futility. No more pointless hoping and heartbreak. In 2013, I never want to hear the words ‘exception,’ ‘experimenting’ or ‘phase.’ If, God forbid, I hear ‘bicurious’ even once, I may take a hostage.”

Then he goes into the party, and Erik is there.

Opinion: This is one of those fics you read on a whim one night when you have nothing to do, but keep coming back to weeks after you finish it because it’s so. Damn. Good. Well-written. Shockingly emotional. Smutty. Interesting discussion of relationships and sexuality. I got caught up rereading my favorite parts while making this list. I love this fic and you will too, or else. 

A Wedding Planner Walks Into a Bar

Words: 19,451

Rating: Explicit

Summary: When Raven hires Erik to be the bartender at her wedding, he becomes quickly infatuated with the wedding planner, Charles Xavier, who he thinks is her fiancé.

Opinion: This one’s fun. A bit more chill than some of the others. Plus you have the classic idiots-in-love-don’t-realize-it-because-of-a-misunderstanding-that-could-be-easily-solved-but-won’t-be. 

We’ll Show Them All

Words: 19,529

Rating: Teen and Up 

Summary: Pacific Rim AU. Ten years later, the monsters are back, and newly-instated Marshall Charles Xavier needs to pull a team together to prepare for the coming war. That means finding his talented sister a Drift-compatible copilot -- even if that turns out to be his old flame Erik.

Opinion: This is one of those things that reminds me I need to watch Pacific Rim. It’s good if you haven’t though, and I’m proof of that. Erik and Charles are so angsty here but so in love. Plus, Raven content! Love that for us.

Five Nights In Nuremberg 

Words: 26,138

Rating: Explicit 

Summary: When Charles escapes from the mutant prison he has been held in for the last two years he knows that he’s going to need help to avoid being recaptured.

What he doesn’t expect is that help will come in the form of a mysterious German man who rescues Charles and takes him to his home; a handsome stranger who, frustratingly, doesn’t speak a single word of English…

Opinion: This one has potentially triggering content in the form of mutant camps and discrimination. Approach with caution. Otherwise, it’s very good.

Appropriate Boundaries

Words: 33,346

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Charles has been having serious problems with back cramps in the year and a half since he's been in a wheelchair. His doctor prescribes massage therapy. But when Charles meets his masseur, Erik, in some ways they begin to heal each other. So how do you cross the boundaries between professional touch -- and the personal?

Opinion: Erik and canon disabled Charles navigating sex and a relationship. It’s cute! It’s hot! It’s fun! It’s well-characterized! It’s emotional! I’m running out of words to describe these fics, I mean I wouldn’t be reccing them if I didn’t think they were good- 

April

Words: 56,225

Rating: Explicit

Summary: In the sharp, unforgiving plains of the Canadian Arctic, Erik is since long adapted to solitude and silence. Separated from civilization, dedicated to nothing but his research, he has formed a life that suits him. There is nothing he would ever want to change. So, naturally, the arrival of grad student Charles Xavier upends everything Erik ever thought he wanted, for better or for worse.

Opinion: Charles and Erik basically locked in a shack together with no one else for human contact?????? Internalized issues and homophobia?????? Fluff and angst???????? Yes???????

Thou Shalt Not East Stones

Words: 77,422

Rating: Not Rated 

Summary: Two months after Washington, Raven found Erik in a skeevy motel off the Florida interstate.

“They have Charles, Erik,” she said.

The bedframe shrieked. In the bathroom, the showerhead snapped in half and clattered into the tub.

Opinion: This one’s got everything. Humans being dicks. Protective Erik. Hurt Charles, and pissed-off Charles. Trauma recovery. Rebuilding a relationship. Love. Pain. Everything.

That’s all folks! No one ask me for more until at least after New Years, or I swear to Magneto, I will PUNT YOU

[rederiswrites]

My Tumblr year in review

(minus the hideous flashing header)

I posted 2,490 times in 2021 (got dam, me)

774 posts created (31%)

1716 posts reblogged (69%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.2 posts.

I added 629 tags in 2021

#dragon age - 224 posts

#witcher - 90 posts

#the mandalorian - 56 posts

#this is ridiculous - 56 posts

#red homesteads - 41 posts

#history - 36 posts

#geralt - 34 posts

#succulents - 32 posts

#solas - 31 posts

#chickens - 29 posts

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Next time you go to write a ten year old child, please know that mine just gave me a fairly accurate explanation of fiat versus commodity currencies, in those terms. So for goodness sake, just have them talk like the adults they're around most.

Also I saw a post yesterday that said that children under ten don't understand sarcasm, and I assure you, that is not the case.

16654 notes • Posted 2021-05-23 04:43:52 GMT

#4

When my kids were babies I knew they'd be wearing a lot of hand-me-downs and thrifted stuff, because frankly that's the only sensible way to dress young children. Anything else is gonna cost an arm and a leg for shit they'll outgrow in three months and then you'll spend $50 on some cute set they refuse to wear and it's just pointless angst. My daughter wore hand me downs from the neighbor boys for most of her first year because the ages worked out.

So I made a conscious decision to always frame that positively. Going to the thrift store is awesome because it's like a shopping spree every time, Mama will say yes to nearly anything, which is clearly superior to going to Target and being permitted one cute t-shirt and some socks. Hand me downs are even better because they have a history with people you love. And passing stuff down yourself is maybe the best of all, because then you get to see little cuties wearing things you once enjoyed, and enjoy them all over again.

And that attitude has really taken root in the family and been a very positive thing. I love that my computer is made up of new parts but also hand me downs from not one but two different people, carefully crafted into a whole that's much more than would have been reasonable to spend otherwise. The used parts are still really good, because they came from people who really prioritize their equipment, so they went from "good" to "top of the line" but they knew that "good" was still way better than I had. And the fact that three people collaborated to make something that would suit my needs and optimized their money makes me feel loved by smart people.

So yes, I do know that there's a stigma against buying used stuff, but I invite you to consider: that is stupid and also wrong. Used stuff is great.

20109 notes • Posted 2021-08-24 16:05:50 GMT

#3

It is a painful truth that actually none of my fics are abandoned, no, not even the ones that haven’t updated in five years. I still know exactly what happens next, and after that, and so on. They’re not abandoned; they’re right here, haunting me, characters climbing up my pants like kittens nagging for dinner.

25976 notes • Posted 2021-04-11 02:07:03 GMT

#2

From a friend on FB this morning.

49656 notes • Posted 2021-10-06 17:49:41 GMT

#1

Seriously though like, I missed the boat on this whole radical honesty thing. I guess everyone wants to be true to themselves now? That’s...great...but like you’re really only ever going to meet a select few people you can be totally honest with about everything. Lie to strangers! Lie to authorities! Like damn didn’t you have parents that told you never to tell people on the phone that you were home alone? When the interviewer asks if you ever experimented with drugs, you say no! This is not a therapy session! He’s got no business asking you that anyway! Lots and lots of people are not entitled to your vulnerability. Damn.

75131 notes • Posted 2021-03-05 18:58:26 GMT

Well that's a lot of notes. Also appreciating the fact that there's really no detectable pattern here. You get what you get on this show.

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Midnight Whispers

Main Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Koge Naegi (OC)

Story Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff / Angst / Romance / Domestic

Story Warnings: Arguments, Cursing, Makeup Sex (vaginal), Hair Pulling, Bakugou Cries, Self Esteem Issues and Self Degradation, Hurt / Comfort

Written for the @bnhabookclub​​ ‘s members bingo event! 

Crossed off: Thigh Riding

Bingo Masterlist

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Art in banner by me

Daily bickering was a common occurrence between Bakugou and Koge, as it had been for their entire lives. A snide comment here. A bark to pick up socks there. A whine to not put that much spice in the food. Or salt. Depends on who was cooking, of course. With someone as headstrong and easily agitated as Bakugou as a lover, it was something that Koge had grown accustomed to, and she was easily able to weed out the serious issues from the complaints that had a tendency to leave his lips without a single thought. She wasn’t much better, and she could admit that, usually snapping right back at him with her own dry humor or sarcasm that would more often than not set him off into immediate frustration. But, as a married couple with three children to care for, bickering was bound to happen, especially if it had always been present between the couple since the first day they met. 

More often than not, it was just a split second of annoyance at something the other had done, before it was filed away in the back of their minds and they returned to loving each other with a final huff or kiss on the cheek to signify that the issue was over. Sure, it wasn’t always a quick fix or easily tamed situation, but they always came out of it together, with understanding and a commitment to change. They never went to bed angry, even if it was a problem that would take days, weeks, or months to fix. Anything that was wrong, they knew that they could conquer it together, and they had learned from experience that isolating themselves and trying to deal with their problems on their own only caused harm to their relationship. 

So the fact that Koge was laying in their bed alone was honestly quite astonishing to her. Nothing about the way they had argued this time had been right. What had started out as just a small comment to make sure he gets his clothes in the dirty bin and not just all over the floor blew up into a rage that she hadn’t expected at all. Sure, she could have dealt with his typical snide comment of “Yes, Master” or something more sarcastic. But what he had said made her snap back at him without thinking, and it all exploded in typical Bakugou fashion from that moment on. 

“Katsuki, really, can’t you just toss your clothes in the bin? It’s not that hard. You’ve been bad about it lately. I already have to pick up after the kids all day, I shouldn’t have to pick up after you, too.” Koge huffed as she snatched a pair of Bakugou’s sweatpants, boxers and a t-shirt from off the floor, glowering at her lover as he exited the master ensuite with a towel around his hips. He had just returned home from a late shift doing his hero duties, and he had been quite grumpy, but that didn’t excuse him acting like a slob. If it had just been this one time, sure, she could deal with it, but that wasn’t the case. 

Every day for nearly two weeks he’d come home late and act like a total mooch. He’d eat, shower, laze around, not clean up after himself like he should, fuck Koge on occasion, and then go straight to sleep. She hadn’t brought it up yet because she assumed that maybe he was just going through a funk, but at this point, it was exhausting. 

With an annoyed click of his tongue, Bakugou stopped at his dresser, pulling open his boxer drawer without even looking at her. “Well sorry for making your life as a fucking housewife so damn difficult, Utsuro.” 

Koge paused mid bend, her fingers lightly resting against the fabric of his jacket that he had also abandoned when he returned home that night. Her stomach churning in shock of his comment, she stood up straight, placing both of her hands firmly on her hips. “Excuse me?” 

“You heard me.” Bakugou glared at her over his shoulder. “What’s your problem? I come home from a twelve-hour shift, working to support you and the kids on my own, and you can’t even handle picking up some fucking clothes?” 

“Katsuki, that’s not-” Koge’s voice hitched as she grew lost in what to say to him. “That’s not fair! I spend all day, literally from the moment that you get up at four until we both go to sleep keeping the house clean, doing all the laundry, cooking, taking care of the kids. It’s not just picking up the clothes!” 

Bakugou gave a roll of his eyes, dropping his towel to the floor as he pulled on some boxers. “Oh yeah, because that’s just as hard as what I do.” 

“I’m not claiming that it is. This isn’t a competition about who does more, Katsuki. All I need is for you to take five more seconds to put your clothes away or put your damn dishes in the sink! I’m not asking you to break your damn back when you get home. Just… I just want you to stop acting like you’re nothing but a mooching roommate who gets free food and pussy when he feels like it.” Storming over, Koge snatched his towel up off the ground, glaring up at him even though his broad and muscular body dwarfed her. “We’re a team, aren’t we? That’s what we’ve always said.” 

“Tch, sure, yeah. A team.” Bakugou hissed through his teeth, agitated snarl on his lips. “We’re a fucking team. I go work my ass off all day and risk my life to bring in money, while you sit around playing and changing fucking diapers. What a team.” 

Feeling her chest beginning to tighten, Koge did her best to blink away the burning in her eyes, clutching onto the towel tightly with both hands. “Why are you being like this? You’ve never been so mean about me staying home! And it’s only until Atsuki is old enough, then I’m going back to work. I’ve only been staying home for two years!” 

“Yeah, two years. Two years of me busting my ass for you, and all you can do is be a little bitch about picking up after me!” 

“Don’t talk to me like that! And will you look at me, stop facing away!” Koge placed both hands on his shoulder, having to use quite a bit of force to get him to turn and face her. The dark and angry glare on his face brought a lump up into her throat, tears beginning to gather up in her lashes. “Just because you’ve been working so hard doesn’t give you the right to shit on me like this, when I’m the only reason you come home to a hot meal and clean clothes!” 

“I could do it all on my own without you, don’t think so highly of yourself.” 

All Koge’s anger was immediately crushed into nothing but a smoldering pain, the tears finally escaping down her cheeks as her entire body went numb with shock. His rough expression faltered for just a moment at the sight of her tears, but in typical stubborn fashion, he refused to back down. “Oh, here come the fucking tears, huh? You know, it’s always been about you, you, you. You’re the one that’s depressed. You’re the one that’s struggling to love herself. You’re the one who’s fucking weak-” 

“Stop it!” 

“Well what about me, huh? Over all our years, have you ever even thought that I’d be struggling? That I’m the one who needs help, support, or maybe just a little fucking appreciation now and again?” 

“You never want to talk to me about these things, it’s not my fault that you’re a fucking brick wall that even I can’t get through! You don’t want to let anyone more than elbow deep in your shit, what the hell do you expect me to do?!” Koge took a moment to wipe the tears from her cheeks, though that ended up being a fruitless attempt as more were quick to replace them. “I support and appreciate you always. I’ve always been here for you! But you’re the one that acts all tough and like nothing is wrong until you explode!” 

“You’re one to fucking bark about hiding your shit, don’t start with that.” 

“Then just talk to me about it,” a hiccup interrupted her, placing her hand tenderly on his bicep to try and pull him back out of his haze of anger. “I am and always will be here for you, Katsuki. Always.” 

“You don’t fucking get it, Koge.” Bakugou shoved her hand away with a nudge, turning back to his dresser to pull out some sweatpants. “Everything that I do. Everything that I’ve ever tried to do. Fucking pointless.” 

“It’s not pointless, Katsuki. Look how successful you are, and you have a family that loves you! I love you. That isn’t enough?” 

As he finished getting dressed, Bakugou didn’t spare her another glance as he headed into the bedroom, ignoring the fact that she was at his heels. Snatching his pillow off the bed, he gave a heavy sigh, ruffling his still damp blonde locks as he paused. For a moment, he stared down at the bed, as if he were contemplating everything that had been said and what he was about to do. 

“Koge… All of the love and success in the world could never make up for the shit I’ve done and the weak person that I am.”  

 Then he left her there, standing alone in their bedroom as he made his way down the stairs. Having closed the bedroom door behind him, his footsteps vanished quickly, leaving her aching for the sound of them returning. For the ten or so minutes she stood there waiting, the silence only grew heavier and heavier on her chest, until she was left sobbing into the damp towel she was still holding. In the end, she tried to sleep, but the empty space beside her was colder and lonelier than it had ever been. She could smell him on the sheets, and as she laid there in the darkness, she found herself waiting for the heat of his touch that wouldn’t come. 

All she could do was lay there and let her mind go crazy. Why had he gone off on her like that? And what did it all mean? Was he actually growing tired of her and his family? Had they truly become such a distraction to his goals, and did he feel guilty about that? Did he not feel good enough for everything he had accomplished? There were so many things that it could be, and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever truly get a real explanation from him. 

Giving a heavy sigh, Koge turned her back to his side of the bed, looking at the digital clock that rested on her nightstand. The bright green color hurt her sore eyes for a moment, bringing her to blink a few times to alleviate the sting and clear the blur. It was just past two in the morning, meaning that she had been laying there awake and upset for almost four hours at this point. But, before she could try to contemplate what it was she should do, the small date on the bottom left corner of the clock caught her attention. 

Instantly, she felt her heart ache, pulling her blankets tighter around her as she realized what it was that could have set him so on edge. This past day had been the anniversary of not only his kidnapping when he was a first year in high school, but also the day that All Might - Bakugou’s hero and inspiration - was forced to retire during the fight to rescue him. For weeks and months afterwards, Bakugou blamed himself for what had happened, and Koge had been there for him every second that she could. Even now, at thirty-three, Bakugou still had bad dreams and memories that created an amalgamation of issues for him. 

He was strong and could hide it well, but Koge knew that it was something that he still hadn’t recovered from. The fact that it was the anniversary of one of the most traumatizing days of his life would surely explain why he had such a short fuse with her earlier. Did something happen that she hadn’t been aware of? 

Giving a small whine, Koge pulled the blanket up to her face, crying quietly into the fluffy fleece fabric. Even if something did happen… What he said was awful. I can’t just let that slip. But what should I do? 

Growing frustrated, the petite woman cried out and kicked all the blankets off her, rolling over onto her back to glare up at the dark ceiling. She couldn’t stand this! They never went to bed angry at each other like this. Why the hell hadn’t he marched up there to try and talk it out yet? Did he expect her to come down and apologize or something? She hadn’t even done anything wrong! 

Still, she knew him. She knew that stubborn, hardheaded brat like the back of her hand, and she knew that he wouldn't apologize first. He was going to avoid this for as long as he could, which would be until morning when he had to get up to head to work. She wouldn’t put it past him to try and avoid her all morning, too, putting it off even further until he arrived home again. That was something that she couldn’t stand the thought of.

She wanted to resolve all of this. 

Now. 

With a huff, Koge stood, snatching the baby monitor off the nightstand to take it downstairs with her, just in case Atsuki began to cry while they were down there. Gathering her resolve, she snuck down the hallway to the stairs, being sure to not let a single sound alert either her children or Bakugou to her presence. 

It was dark and chilly in the hall, with only the light from the windows along the stairwell allowing pale blue light to conquer the shadows. As she reached the top of the stairs, she stopped and listened, finding that there wasn’t a single sound outside of the ticking of a decorative wall clock in the living room space. While standing there, she couldn’t help but look over what she could see of her home, the moonlight creating such an ethereal glow over the modern decor. 

This home was so special to her. Bakugou had built it, for her and their - at the time - future children. It had been almost ten years ago, now, that she first walked through the beautiful blue front door. He had done this for them. There was no way he could be tired of her after everything he had done. It wasn’t possible. 

Blinking away the new tears that threatened to fall, Koge let out a quiet, trembling breath before starting to make her way down the stairs. About halfway down she paused as she heard shuffling, her pale blue gaze darting to the large couch in the living room. The back faced the stairs, so all she could see was Bakugou’s arms, which came to rest up and over the armrest. With the limp position and uncoordinated movement, Koge assumed that he had actually been able to fall asleep, which didn’t surprise her much. He was exhausted, mentally and physically, and who knows how long he spent brooding over what had happened before he crashed. 

The theory that he was already asleep was confirmed when Koge got to the bottom of the stairs, able to hear his deep, steady breathing and light snoring. 

Jerk, Koge thought as she approached the couch. Able to be a bitch and then just go straight to sleep. He’s such a… mess? What is all that mess? Coming around the side of the couch, Koge’s eyes first landed on the coffee table, which he at some point had pulled up closer to the couch. Haphazardly placed upon it was his phone, his work planner that he kept surprisingly good track of, and a pile of crumpled tissue paper from the box nearby. 

Those tissues were the oddest things to her. He wasn’t sick, and she was pretty sure he hadn’t used them for anything weird. Had he been… crying or something? As if on cue with her thoughts, the man sleeping on the couch beside her gave a rough inhale through his nose, starling her. Finally looking down at him, she felt her heart soften, just from the absolute absurdity of his position and soft expression. On his back, both of his arms were up over his head, one tucked under his pillow while the other hung limply off the armrest. His face was turned to rest against his left bicep, cheek squished in and mouth open to accommodate his stuffed-up nose. As for his legs, one was bent at the knee while the other hung awkwardly off the couch, and it was very obvious that he had grown used to sleeping in a large bed where his body had all the room it needed. 

Shockingly, the fleece blanket he had thrown over himself to sleep was still in place, pulled up to his collarbone and covering his torso to his knees. Stupid boy… that blanket is too small for him. He does look comfortable, though… But his nose is all red. When did he fall asleep? Glancing back at the table, Koge put the baby monitor down quietly, before stepping in closer to him. The face that had been scrunched up in anger was so soft now, completely void of the harsh lines that creased his fair skin. She could perfectly imagine the moments in their life when he had looked at her so softly, holding her close and showering her with affection.  

Sniffling, Koge reached down to run her fingers through the soft tufts of blonde hair along his forehead, her fingertips lightly tracing along his temple and across his cheek. It was then that she could feel something she hadn’t noticed before, a wetness that he had neglected to clean up. He had been crying, self-isolated down here with nothing but his thoughts to torment him. Just like she had been. 

In that moment of wiping away the tear with her thumb, Koge knew that he regretted what he had said. She knew that he was upset with himself, that he was ashamed and would rather let out all his emotions alone than have to face her with his shame. Because he was stubborn and prideful, and he couldn’t let his weakness show, not when it was something that tormented him so. Although what he had said hurt her, she needed to push him to rectify this, and in the still of the night, she knew that they could do it. Together, hidden from the rest of the world, they needed to bare their souls to each other and forgive. 

There was a soft groan from his throat at her touch, his face turning more into his arm as his body tensed and stretched. Koge kept her hand on his cheek gently, softly stroking his skin to try and pull him into consciousness, pairing it with a soft cooing of his name. 

“Katsuki? Katsukiiii…” 

With a deep inhale through his nose, which rattled with his congestion, Bakugou’s eyes fluttered open for a moment, barely glancing over her figure in the moonlight before he rested his hand over hers. 

“Utsuro…” Turning his head slowly, he pressed his lips against her palm, kissing her skin softly as if he were waking her up on a typical morning. His softness brought a new round of burning to her eyes, her free hand running through his hair again softly. 

“Yes, Katsuki… Wake up, love.” 

He was still for a moment, nearly falling back asleep before his eyes opened again. This time, they stayed open, glancing around his surroundings with hooded eyelids. When his tired crimson gaze finally landed back on her, his eyes widened slightly, as if he were shocked to see her there. “What are you doing, Utsuro?” He pulled her hand away from his lips, tightening his grip on her hand as his brow furrowed with worry. 

“I couldn’t sleep. I… I wanted to come talk to you.” 

“No… fuck off.” He pushed her hand away and slapped the other out of his hair, glaring at her stomach through his sleepy haze. “Go back to bed.” Although he tried to sound threatening, his voice wavered, and the way his eyebrows furrowed upwards was a clear sign to Koge that he had heard it, too. He wasn’t going to be able to keep himself composed. 

“I won’t. I’m not letting you get away again. I forgive you, Katsuki, I want to talk about it-” 

“No!” Bakugou’s voice spiked with his frustration, but he quickly lowered it as he heard it echo through the open room, being conscious of his sleeping children. “You can’t forgive me so easily! Get away from me!” 

“Shhh, Katsuki,” Before he could move, Koge lifted and slipped under the fleece blanket, sitting on his stomach. 

“Get off--!” 

“It’s okay,” As his body began to shake with the last little hold he had on his emotions, Koge took hold of both of his cheeks, stroking them softly with her thumbs as she rested her body down against him. “Let it out, Katsuki. It’s just me.” 

With her touch and soothing words, Bakugou’s face further contorted with sadness, before the tears rushed down his cheeks with the rough release of his breath. The sight of him so broken like this instantly crushed Koge’s heart, but she kept her own composure, pressing her forehead against his tenderly. “Shh… I’m here, Katsuki. It’s okay.” 

“Koge… Fuck, I’m sorry-” Bakugou wrapped his arms around her like a vice, one hand buried into her hair at the back of her head while the other clutched her body close. Even his legs lifted as his body turned a bit towards the back of the couch, doing everything he could to make sure she was as physically close to him as possible. “I didn’t mean it!” 

“I know you didn’t,” Koge allowed him the time to release all the built-up emotions, wiping away the hot tears with her thumbs. To allow him in closer, she carefully wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him hide his face into her chest and soak her t-shirt with his tears. She stroked his hair softly, lightly rubbing and massaging his scalp with her fingers and her nails. “I know, Katsuki… It’s okay.” 

“It’s not! It’s fucking not!” Bakugou moved his other arm down around her torso, squeezing her closer. Even though his grip was tight, he held her like she was a priceless treasure, secure yet comforting and tender. “I told you I didn’t need you! I’m so damn stupid…” 

“Shh… You don’t have to explain yourself right now, Katsuki--” 

“You’re my everything and I talked to you like you’re a piece of fucking gum on my shoe. All because I’m fucking tired. I’m so tired.” 

Frown crossing her lips, Koge nuzzled her face into his hair, closing her eyes to try and control her own tears. “You’re my everything, too, Katsuki… I could never be happy without you. And I’m so blessed that I get to have you come home to me every day. I… I know that something must have happened to make you feel so bad about yourself. But I need you to know something, okay…?” Pausing for a moment to wait and see if he wanted to respond, she took his silence and sniffles as permission to continue. 

“You are not weak… And you deserve all the fame you’ve gained, and all the love you receive. You deserve your happiness. I love you. And even if everyone else turns their backs on you, I will be here. Forever. Always.” 

There was a moment of silence between them, with nothing but the clicking of the clock and the sounds of his congested breathing and sniffles. Eventually, he lifted his head up to face her, his cheeks flushed so dark that she could see it even in the dim light. Smiling softly, Koge used her fingers to wipe his tears away again, before using her t-shirt to get his nose. “Snotty.” 

Scrunching up his face in detest of her pinching and wiping his nose, Bakugou gave a click of his tongue. “Hey, I’m not one of the kids!” 

“Maybe not, but you’re still my baby.” Caressing his cheeks, Koge leaned in to kiss the bridge of his nose softly. “My Katsuki. I love you so much.” 

“But I… still need to explain myself. Why I acted out like a fucking asshole…” 

“Don’t worry about that right now, love. It’s late… Neither of us have slept. Well, you did a little,” Koge smiled against his lips softly as his hand curved up along her back to her side, slowly moving down her body to her hip. “You’re really cute when you’re sleeping.” 

“Yeah? What’d you do, stare at me like a weirdo?” 

“No! I can’t help but think you’re cute.” 

“I’m not cute.” 

“Yes, you are!” 

“Tch…” Bakugou’s still gleaming crimson eyes glanced over every inch of Koge’s face, his hand slipping around her backside before down along her thigh that was resting up over his hip. Koge knew that look and that touch, her cheeks flushing with heat as he parted his lips up against hers, only hinting at his urge to kiss her. With his rough fingers softly digging into the plush, cold skin of her thigh, she couldn’t help but tuck herself in closer, fingers lightly gripping onto his hair while her heart began to pound. “Koge…” 

“Yes, Katsuki?” 

“You know when you’re really cute?” 

Koge’s cheeks flushed hotter, giving a small shake of her head, her nose brushing lightly with his. 

“When you’re under me, blushing and squirming… and moaning my name.” Bakugou was barely able to finish speaking before he took Koge’s lips for his own, kissing her with a breathless passion that she had been missing. For weeks now, their love making had been reduced to basic and boring fucking, leaving her unsatisfied and desperately craving the affection from him that she adored. That passion that had smoldered down to barely embers became a raging fire with just the connection of their lips, burning Koge from the inside out. She knew that fire wouldn’t cease, that nothing but being one with him could extinguish the flame, and so she allowed herself to be devoured by him. 

A soft groan left his lips with just the taste of her, his hand sliding back up her thigh to pull her hips tighter up against him. Shifting her body to get closer, Koge let out a small squeak as his thigh pressed up between hers, firmly resting up against her sex. Legs intertwined and craving the new pleasure his leg provided, Koge let her hand slide around to softly caress his neck while the other stayed dug into his hair, all while her hips began to roll and grind against his thigh. With her first soft sigh of pleasure into the kiss, Bakugou kept his large palm placed firmly on her ass, squeezing the plush form. 

“Do whatever you want, Utsuro,” Bakugou spoke low against her lips, catching her gaze between the moments that their lips parted. “Tell me what you want. I’ll do anything for you.” 

Koge moaned sweetly, tightening her legs around his thigh as her grinding became more vigorous. She could feel the hard form of his cock digging into her lower stomach with each roll of her hips, being sure to purposefully push them further in so that he got some attention as well. “I just want you to love me, Katsuki,” Her voice hitched from the pressure against her clit, her skin tingling with the pleasure and heat rolling through her body from his touch. “Touch me. Hold me… And just let me in. Let me love you and comfort you, too. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” 

Bakugou’s hand slid up under her t-shirt to caress her back near her shoulder blades, pulling her in tighter against his chest as their lips met again. Meanwhile, Koge’s traveled down across his chest and around to his back, tracing the form of his muscles until her fingers reached one of the little dimples right above where the hem of his sweatpants rested. Just feeling his body like this made her movements more passionate, picking up the pace of her grinding on his leg. It had felt like an eternity since they had been so close together like this, every other moment for weeks feeling like there was no love or emotion behind anything they did. He had been so checked out of the relationship, his mind swirling in his troubles and struggles, and although she wished that he would have come to her sooner, Koge knew why he hadn’t. 

She knew, because this had happened only a few years ago, with Koge shutting down and blocking him from helping her for months on end. Back then, she hadn’t felt like she was worth his worry or like she was good enough for him at all, and she had said horrible things to him, too. And now, his internal struggles were exploding just as hers had, burdening him with feelings of inadequacy, weakness, and like he was undeserving. He didn’t have to say it. She knew, because their connection and understanding of each other wasn’t something that could be easily explained. It was deep and strong, powerful enough to get them through anything, as long as they were together. 

Beginning to be able to feel her heat and wetness coating not only her underwear, but her thighs and his sweatpants as well, Koge wanted to give him something in return. Her hand slipping beneath his sweatpants and boxers, her soft touch stroked across his ass and to his hip, tenderly cupping his hard and throbbing member after she set him free from his clothes. 

“Fuck,” Bakugou growled against her lips at the touch, pressing his forehead into hers to catch her gaze and watch her expression. “Your hands are always so damn cold. You fucking walking freezer.” 

Koge couldn’t resist a soft smirk against his lips, rolling her thumb teasingly around this tip to displace the leaking precum. “Well, someone seems to like it. You. You’re someone.” Shifting herself up a bit higher, Koge’s leg came to rest over his hip instead, giving her enough room to let his cock rest flush between her legs and up against her sex. “How’s that? Warmer?”

“Not quite warm enough,” His hand moving back down to her ass, he used his impressive reach to be able to pull her underwear to the side, the tip of his cock teasing her wet and aching hole. 

Nibbling at her bottom lip, Koge felt heat spread across her cheeks, her stomach bubbling with anticipation. She wanted him to be inside her so badly, to connect with her and be one, to share that love and sentimental passion that no one else in the world would ever see. Their love, although scarred with healed wounds and new scratches, could never be broken. 

“Katsuki,” Koge whispered out breathlessly, her hand once again caressing his cheek. “Please…” 

With only a slight shifting of his hips and some guidance from his fingers, Bakugou began to slip his cock into her, both of them sighing in satisfaction as they became entangled together, on their sides and as close as they could possibly get. One arm supporting her head with his fingers buried into her hair, the other hooked firmly around her waist, allowing Bakugou to hold her steady as he began a slow roll of his hips. The moonlit room was swimming with sounds of soft sighs and tender moans, surrounding them completely in a bubble of their own world that contained nothing but each other. 

Koge already felt like she was going to go mad from the heat between them, the strength of his body against her, and the slow yet consistent rhythm of his cock moving inside her. This feeling of being so close to him, so full and connected was something that she would never get used to, nor was it ever something she wanted to lose. As the desperation to keep him close swirled around in her belly with all her other fluttering feelings of adoration and longing, Koge kept herself clutched onto him tightly, her nails dug into his back and foreheads resting against each other. The closeness had their noses and lips brushing with every thrust, a kiss being shared here and there between moans and soft sighs. She could stay like this forever, staring into his crimson gaze, surrounded inside and out by his presence. 

“Mm, Katsuki-” Koge had to hold back a louder moan, biting down onto her bottom lip as he picked up the pace of his thrusts. “S-so good… You feel so good inside me-” A sharp gasp and a squeak cut her off as Bakugou’s grip on her hair tightened, pulling and bending her hair back just enough to add to her pleasure. He couldn’t resist a low groan that rumbled in his chest from her change in expression with the new pain, her brow furrowing upwards and lips parted in a restrained moan. The tears that she had been holding back since the beginning gathered at the corners of her eyes and in her lashes, shimmering with the moonlight and threatening to fall at any second. 

“Yeah, Utsuro? You like my cock inside you? Of course you do-” Bakugou answered for her when she was only able to give a meek nod, her voice hitching with increased roughness. “Ah fuck… You’re so tight. So fucking hot!” What was once tender morphed into a greedy craving of pleasure that was mutual between them, as Bakugou rolled them over so she was on her back. His hand still gripping her hair at the scalp, he kept his lips hovering over her open mouth, captivated by her expression shifting as her eyes rolled back. “I’ve missed that look… Fuck I wish I could hear you scream for me right now.” 

Keeping her legs wrapped loosely around his waist to let him move however he pleased, Koge allowed him to ravage her, doing everything she could to control the volume of her voice. He felt so good slamming into her like this, his thick cock filling up every inch of her and leaving nothing untouched. Her orgasm was quickly approaching, and she was sure to let him know that with his nails dug deep into the skin of his back and her uncontrollable subdued gasps. 

“That’s it, Utsuro,” Bakugou hissed against her flushed and tear stained cheek, his eyes never leaving hers. “Cum for me, baby.” 

The rare pet name slipping from his lips immediately set Koge off, more tears spilling from her eyes as her voice hitched with a moan and a sob. “Ka-Katsu--!” Right as her voice peaked, Bakugou’s large palm clamped over her mouth, releasing her hair to instead muffle her moans and uncontrollable sobs as she came hard. The feeling of her clenching and squeezing around his cock brought a hiss from behind his teeth, hiding his face into her shoulder as he helped her ride out her orgasm with slower, shallow thrusts. It took Koge a few minutes to finally fall back down from her high enough to take back control of her voice and her body, breathing heavily in through her nose and stroking his hair with trembling fingers. 

Moving his hand away from her mouth, Bakugou instead caressed her cheek, using his thumb to wipe away her tears while his lips kissed away the others. Without another word, he began to move within her again, though he didn’t pick back up where he had left off. Instead, his thrusts were slow and deep, much as they had been at the beginning, his focus entirely on her face and his gaze staying firmly locked with hers. As she looked back up at him, Koge couldn’t help but wonder how there could be so much love, so much absolute infatuation within his gaze. It made her heart - her entire body - melt into him like butter, and she could only hope that he could see it in her eyes, too. 

How much she loved him. 

How much she needed him. 

How happy he made her. 

How truly blessed she was to call him her husband. 

“Koge,” Bakugou spoke with trembling breath, his thrusts quickening as he grew closer to his peak. “I’m sorry. And I love you. I love you more than fucking anything.” 

“I love you, too, Katsuki. I love you-!” Koge tightened her grip on him as he kissed her passionately, clenching her eyes shut tightly to try and control her tears. Within moments, Bakugou’s thrusts became erratic, digging himself into her as he released hot ropes of cum inside her. Just the feeling of how hot it was made Koge tremble, sighing softly against his lips while he moaned in pleasure of his release against hers. 

“Mm, fuck--” Bakugou cupped both of her cheeks, placing kisses on her lips that soon traveled up the bridge of her nose to her forehead. “Damn it, I love you.” 

Smiling, Koge gave a soft giggle as his lips came down across her temple and cheek, able to feel the heat of his lips even against her flushed skin. “I love you, too, my Katsuki. Was I cute enough for you?” 

Bakugou gave a grunt, his final kiss on her lips rough and punishing for her teasing. “Don’t be a smartass.” Removing himself from her, Bakugou adjusted his clothes back into place on his hips before squeezing himself between her body and the back of the couch, laying down on his side facing her. Before Koge could even think about whining about being cold, he pulled the fleece blanket that had been pushed down near their feet back up and over them, tucking it up behind her back and under her side as she turned to face him. 

“Ooh, you know me so well.” Koge nuzzled her nose against his softly as they grew comfortable together. “Mm, so toasty. My heater.” 

“Fuck off.” Bakugou tenderly moved some of her hair out of her face and back behind her ear, his choice of words not matching his calm tone. “You leech.” 

“Your leech, you mean. Or should I say, your baby.” Koge couldn’t resist a smile as Bakugou’s face flushed, his brow furrowing as if he didn’t expect her to pick on him so soon. “You called me ‘baby’!” 

“Tch, so what if I did?!” His typical defensive snarl was paired with a hushed yell, as if he were scolding one of his children in a store instead of his wife. “I can call you whatever the hell I want to, Utsuro!” 

“Then do it! Please,” Batting her eyelashes innocently, Koge gave a playful pout. “Call me ‘baby’.” 

“You want me to?”

“Yes!” 

“Then I’m not going to. All you get is ‘Utsuro’!” 

“You can’t just give it to me and then rip it out of my hands like that, Katsuki!” Koge whined as she shoved her head into his chest, giving his body a punishing squeeze with all her limbs that were entangled with his. “It’s the worst!” 

Bakugou stroked the back of her head softly, giving a tired sigh as he closed his eyes. “But I like Utsuro…” 

“I know, but there’s nothing wrong with changing it up sometimes, love.” 

“But Utsuro is my name for you. And only mine.” 

Cheeks flushing, Koge nuzzled her face up into his neck, kissing his skin softly. “Mm… Because I’m yours.” 

“That’s right, baby,” Bakugou smirked against the top of her head as Koge gave a small, happy squeal, pressing herself in tighter against him. Though, it was quick to fade as the fight they had crept back up along his spine, and Koge was easily able to pick up on his sudden lax posture. 

Tilting her head back up, she caught his gaze, her hand coming to rest softly on his cheek. “You want to tell me about it now?” 

Brow furrowing deeply, Bakugou couldn’t seem to find it in himself to look into her eyes now, his gaze locked on the tip of her nose. “There’s nothing anyone could have done to me that would excuse the way I acted.” 

“It still upset you, love. A lot. Please tell me?” 

Bakugou fell silent for a moment, only the soft ticking of the clock through the quiet room giving Koge any sense of how many minutes went by. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, it was as if every little noise in the room hushed, from the ticking to the buzz of the electricity in the walls, and Koge couldn’t help but hold her breath. 

“I’ve dealt with not being appreciated like other heroes. Like Deku or Todoroki. Or anyone else, for that matter. Anything great I ever do is always latched to my attitude… and my failures. Controversies… All that bullshit.” Bakugou paused for a moment to move a strand of hair off her cheek, still unable to look her in the eye. “These past few weeks, I felt really pressured to… Prove that I was worth something. I’ve tried hard, and it’s worked, but I began to realize that I was starting to lose you. And the kids… I worried that… to get one thing I want, I’ll have to lose the other. And that scared the shit out of me. Just even allowing myself to think like that. Total fucking stupidity.” 

“Why were you feeling like you needed to prove something?” Koge couldn’t stop the small frown on her lips, which Bakugou was quick to kiss away gently. Finally, his gaze met hers, and the pain she had been familiar with since high school made itself clear. 

“Because of today. You know that every year since it happened, there’s a special about All Might’s final fight and retirement. And every time… every fucking time… The asshole reporters make it seem like it’s my fault. That I haven’t been the type of hero that was worthy of being saved back then. That his sacrifice was for nothing.” A moment passed as he gathered his thoughts, his fingers still working their way through her hair. “And still, after everything I did… Everything I tried to do lately, it still happened. And then I take it out on you… I’m weak. And like I said, nothing I can do will make up for the shitty things I’ve done.” 

Koge felt a burning build up in the back of her throat as new tears gathered in her eyes, placing her hand on his cheek. “Katsuki, that’s not true. You are an amazing hero, and so many people look up to you. They respect you and they adore you. There will always be some people out there with negative opinions, and you know that negativity gets higher ratings and views in the media. But those things don’t make up who you are. You are a great man. A strong hero. A loving husband and father. And there is nothing wrong with being weak, because you have people in your life who will support you and build you up stronger.” 

With a blink, her frustrated tear fell from the inner corner of her eye and traveled down the side of her nose, but Bakugou was quick to wipe it away with the rough pad of his thumb. Sniffling, Koge held his hand against her cheek, soaking in the feeling of his tender touch and his heat.

“I know it’s hard to accept, but it is okay to be weak. To be imperfect. Because you grow from these things. Never forget your accomplishments. You’re Japan’s Ground Zero, the number two hero. And you are my Katsuki, number one best friend, husband, and father to three little squids. I love you. Please don’t forget to love yourself.” 

Although there were no words, Koge could see the slight fault in Bakugou’s stern expression, though his face was buried into her hair as he squeezed her in close before other emotions could break loose. 

“You and your mushy shit, Koge… How do you always know exactly what to say…?” 

“Because I can see the truth, Katsuki.” 

“Oh yeah, you have like a third eye or some shit?” 

Sniffling, Koge pulled back from him, giving him multiple playful kisses on the lips in punishment of his teasing. Right as she was about to stop, Bakugou took over to kiss her tenderly, melting Koge to the core until she was like putty in his hands. With a soft hum in happiness, Koge smiled against his lips nuzzling her nose against his softly. Bakugou responded with one last kiss, giving his own sigh and small smile. 

“Thank you… Koge.” 

Tagging: @gallickingun​​ , @aizawasbedtimestories​​

[silver-wield]

Cloti Resolution Analysis

So I was sent an ask about analysing the promise scene between Cloud and Tifa, and I completely went to another plane of existence and did the Resolution instead. Oh well, enjoy the breakdown and I’ll get to bby Tifa and Cloud another time.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a VERY long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Ok, recapping for anyone who hasn't seen this yet.

We begin with Cloud waking, having heard someone leaving the house. He checks, it's not Barret, so he goes out to investigate and spies Tifa staring at the night sky.

Now from this there's actually an unmentioned possibility Cloud decides Tifa doesn't want company and leaves. This obviously doesn't happen because he's developed his character to the point where he'd put himself out for someone else and find out what's wrong. The point I’m making is that Cloud is that guy who’d say “Not interested” and leave, but because he cares about Tifa, he stays. 

Right away we get hints of concern on his face. Obviously, with everything they just went through and all the people they lost he's expecting something along those lines when he asks if she can't sleep. The head tilt that goes with this has echoes of chapter 3 when he invites Tifa to share her worries, only this time she's got her back to him so can't see it.

Tifa, for her part, isn't very forthcoming. She's quite closed off, almost unwilling to open up and talk. She's probably come out because – as she said – she can't sleep and didn't actually intend for Cloud to follow. She apologises for waking him. There was no intent on her part to force a confidence between them. We can't even see her eyes until she replies, which is intentional on the framing to further express her being closed off. Remember, eye contact matters and a lack of eye contact with the audience means she's hiding from us too.

Damn it, she's so clearly cut up but trying to hold it together here it breaks my heart! I'm trying to figure out if her eyes are already swollen from repressing the urge to cry or if it's my imagination. Either way, she's distracted. She's not focused on Cloud or the conversation that much. A distant, polite answer from her is likely meant to hint she's not up for a chat, which is why I love that Cloud doesn't leave. She needs comforting and he's aware of that.

Demoralised tone of voice. Keeps her back to him. Head bowed. She's totally in her own head at this point and having woken Cloud up is just another black mark. She wanted to be alone and wallow, but she can't even do that right. So, when Cloud brushes it off and even goes so far as to make a light-hearted joke – yes him saying it's a SOLDIER thing isn't about him drawing attention to the fact he's succeeded with that part of their promise, he's capable enough to protect her – he's saying it to lower her guard, and that's why she laughs. It's the opening he needs to encourage her to talk so he can find out what's wrong.

Ah, the moment people think this scene is all about Aerith. Excuse me while I roll my eyes.

Now, remember, in the previous glimpse of her we saw she had her head bowed. She's not looking at the stars anymore like she would when recalling her and Cloud's promise. She's looking down at the flowers. The same type of flower that Cloud gave her and she put on the counter in Seventh Heaven. This is why she brings up Aerith because she's the flower seller.

We're shown her feet at this point because she's turning. Cloud's little joke has opened her up enough that she believes she can face him. She can confide in him. She asks about the flower not because she's all about Aerith, but because the flower was in Seventh Heaven: her home. And what is the reason she's out there in the first place? Why can't she sleep? Because she just saw everything she holds dear crushed, literally. She watched Biggs and Jessie die – ok we know better but she doesn't. She let Aerith get kidnapped by Shinra and almost got Marlene killed too – yes, she's definitely the type to blame herself for this too. She's lost friends – who knows how many? There's death and fire and it's all because of Shinra, again.

Ah the other moment people believe makes this all about Aerith. That isn't a “I got caught with another woman” look of guilt. That's an “I lied to you,” guilty look because, if you remember, back when Cloud gave Tifa the flower she said, “What's up with you, buying flowers?” and he said, “A guy can change,” making her believe he'd purposely sought out Aerith to buy a flower for Tifa. Obviously, he doesn't want to contradict himself while she's in a heightened state, so he's all “uhhh.” That's an “I don't know what to say so this doesn't hurt her,” look.

Tifa awkwardly laughs it off. Poor thing, her misconception about Cloud's thoughtfulness is shattered without him having to say a word. Putting a brave face on it, but she's disappointed. And that's not because she thinks she's “lost” to Aerith, but she thought something of Cloud that wasn't right. She thought their relationship had moved on more at that point, which further supports the subsequent intimate moments between them. Now, she's wondering if anything she knew is right.

And that is clear disappointment that he didn't actually do it on his own initiative. Regret hits hard when it comes, right, Cloud?

It goes on with Tifa explaining she looked up the meaning of the flower – now we don't know when, but it's safe to assume it's around the time of the reactor 5 mission when Cloud goes missing. She likely got back to Seventh Heaven, spotted the flower, linked its importance to Cloud and then looked up the meaning. When she saw it symbolised reunion, she did everything she could to keep it alive as a symbol of hope they'd meet again. They'd be reunited. It isn't symbolising anything to do with Aerith. The reason she even brings it up is because of where they are. It's the location that prompts the association.

Now, remember, Tifa has lived through a massive tragedy once before. She literally lost everyone in Nibelheim. It's stated in other media that Shinra rounded up survivors and gave them to Hojo – they became numbered experiments or died. Tifa is the only survivor and she only made it out because her teacher, Zangan, found her. It's also implied that anyone else from Nibelheim was tracked down and killed to silence them after Shinra remade the town – so on the off chance that Tifa went to Midgar to find people she knew, she wouldn't find any in the town and when she asked after Cloud at Shinra she was told he went missing, which explains why she says she's so glad to have Cloud back.

When she says the flower is dead and buried, she's relating it not to her relationship with Cloud – I mean he is literally ten feet in front of her listening to her and offering a shoulder to cry on. No, she's relating the flower to the location. She's talking about her home. Where before she linked it to reuniting with Cloud, once she learned about the danger to sector 7 she linked the flower to reuniting with the people most dear to her there. These are people she's known for five years. She's not a callous, unfeeling bitch, who only focuses on herself and some dude she's just got back in touch with. It's clear from NPC dialogue while you're running around that Tifa is very much loved and respected – and crushed on – in the slum. The people love her and she loves them. She wanted them to be safe more than anything. Her entire arc getting back to the sector is filled with panic. Her focus is her home and the hope she finds it and the people safe.

So, now she's saying that hope she clung to, like the flower, is dead.

And there it is, the brave smile that falters. She's trying so hard to not burden anyone because – as Marle says later on – crying is pointless. Remember, Marle is the one who looked after Tifa, which means Marle's mindset is the one Tifa's been exposed to from 15 to 20. Remember, Tifa is only 20 years old. She's not some grizzled warrior, she's a young girl who had to watch her father die, her town get burned to the ground and be left alone. The only survivor. Until Cloud. Marle has taught her it's pointless to cry; Avalanche and everyone in it has told her she needs to be tough and hard and unfeeling if they want to succeed. But, Tifa doesn't want anyone to die. Not her friends or her enemies. She's not got that hard core, no matter how much she acts cool and detached.

And this is the point that Cloud is likely hearing about his home for the first time. We know he was there, but it's one of those memories he's shut out. The reminder is one of the few times he doesn't get a flash of pain, either. That soft exhale of surprise, the eyes widening just a touch. Cloud hadn't thought to relate his past to this event, and likely hadn't related it to Tifa, either. He's shut it out, so expected her to, as well. This is a musing expression. He's thinking about what she just said. It hits him this is where her emotions are focused. She's in the past, and that gives him the chance to think about the past. This is what opens him up to needing comfort just as much as she does, because he's not processed his grief either. They're both stuck in that place where they weren't allowed to mourn the people they loved and all they've lost.

Then we're treated to a reminder of the physical distance between them in this scene – which has been a theme between them since the start. There's physical distance, that closes at times, then widens again, highlighting how they're struggling to find their way back to each other for various reasons. Cloud because he can't fully relate to his feelings for her and Tifa because she's too afraid of losing him to truly open up.

And then Tifa takes those few steps – that seemed to take forever – to meet him. She's looking for comfort from the Cloud she knew. The real Cloud. His expression here is surprise because, well, Tifa's just not like that, remember? She's reserved and self-contained. He wasn't expecting her to do this. He's once again confronted with a woman being forward. Only, it's different this time because it's Tifa and he knows and trusts her and has all these complicated feelings he can't define. He knows part of him – the 14 year old who wants his crush to notice him – is ok with this. It's what he wants. That's why he doesn't move. He wants to offer her comfort, be the strong capable SOLDIER he thought she wanted.

Oh, but look, the dawning realisation he's just as upset as she is. His hard expression wavers, just for a moment, and he looks cut up. He doesn't know if he can be the strong SOLDIER right now because, just as she's processing grief, he is too.

Hearing her sob, really sob, is hard for Cloud to take. Just like in the pillar when Jessie said, “Tifa's crying,” and Cloud lost his cool for a moment and felt like a failure. He couldn't prevent any of it. He let her down. Listening to her cry tugs at the latent feelings he has for her, but he's still so wrapped up in that fake persona of what he thinks he should be that he doesn't know what to offer her in comfort. You can hear a couple of attempts at speech, but ultimately he doesn't say anything.

I wasn't gonna screen this bit, but what the hell.

You can see the hesitation in his movements. He doesn't know if he should hug her. Tifa's hand isn't quite touching Cloud as it moves from his side to his shoulder, but then when he pulls her in close there's full contact between them with no space. I mean, he's holding her tight.

After the pan away to the stream – which is likely a nod to the lifestream scene in the OG – we're back with them and Tifa's calmed down somewhat.

Cloud's distracted. We can only guess what he's thinking about, but considering the conversation they just had it's probably a blank with vague unsettled grief about his past that he can't grab hold of. He knows he can relate with Tifa at that moment. He's hugging her so tight he hurts her. He's hugging so tight because he needs comfort from her just as she does from him. He lost people too. He's so in his own head that he doesn't quite hear her say his name at first, and then I speculate he expected to hear something else besides, “you're hurting me,” if that very soft “hmm?” is anything to go by. His head was in a place where the outcome of their moment was different. Hurt/comfort is a thing after all.

And then there's the “oh shit, I can't even comfort her properly” moment. He's dismayed he hurt her when he was supposed to be helping. That boy with a crush is mortified and the grown ass man isn't much better. He's ruined the intimacy and lack of emotional distance by failing. Again.

But that doesn't mean he won't linger until the last possible second before stepping back again. The downturned mouth, frown and concern are clear. He doesn't think he did very much at all for her. Does he feel guilty about hurting her, not being the man she deserves? Possibly. He definitely looks regretful. Likely thinking what he could've done better. He wasn't much help at all to her.

“It's stupid. I know that crying's a waste of time.”

Ah, here's what he can do for her. His physical comfort missed the mark, but this is something he can do. He can reassure her. Get back some of that emotional closeness between them. And it succeeds. Tifa's gratitude is clear in her tearful smile and heartfelt thank you.

Conclusion.

How romantic is this scene? I hear no one asking cause you all made up your minds well before I even started. Well, from my pov, I'd say it's definitely up there, although it's very heavily rooted in hurt/comfort and relying on their childhood closeness to further their intimacy. But, that's ok because plenty of great couples begin like this and there's usually a moment like this within Final Fantasy narratives.

Rinoa/Squall's Ragnarok scene? There was no kissing in that either, but the emotional intimacy was clear. And Squall is just as big a butthead as Cloud tbf.

Tidus/Yuna laughing scene? Hahaha, I bet you thought I'd mention the lake instead? Well, no because that is clearly intimacy on a different level to this. We're at the developing intimacy stage, and that stage in 10 was them confiding in each other and laughing together.

This is Cloud/Tifa sharing their grief and comforting each other. The scenes parallel. Whether or not this means it's canon is up to you to decide, but combined with all the compilation evidence – yeah, I've heard the latest argument that compilation doesn't count anymore and until it's confirmed by Square I'm not listening – it does heavily suggest that Tifa and Cloud's relationship will continue along this route to the endgame where they confirm their feelings for each other under the Highwind.

[gavillain]

3, 7, and 9 for fandom ask.

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Yes. I follow people based on what I want to see on my dash and what I enjoy seeing pop up. So, naturally, if someone’s posting content that I don’t want to see, I unfollow. I don’t really think of it as a personal thing at all. I don’t have to follow you to be your friend. In my experience, the two biggest unfollow reasons for fandom purposes are posting a lot about CaptainSwan or Tom Holland’s Spider-Man and either not tagging them in a way that my blacklist catches or not posting enough about my other interests to make the continued follow worthwhile.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

The MCU as a whole. I loved it and was obsessed during Phase One, and I still really love and enjoy the movies. But the franchise faltered with Phase Two and only really had two movies that I liked in it. Then after that, it was just a string of disappointments and frustrations to the point where I just don’t enjoy that verse any more outside of like maybe seven individual films and even then I’d rather enjoy other better versions of the Marvel universe instead now like the comics, some of the cartoons, some of the video games, etc.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

*cracks knuckles* Alright, let’s do this. These are I think the five most egregious examples. There are plenty more, but these are the ones my hatred for burns the brightest.

Tom Holland’s Spider-Man (the MCU) - I’ve been a Spider-Man fan since I was a little kid. I grew up on the Tobey Maguire movies, the 90s cartoon is one of my favorite shows ever, I’ve been reading the comics since I was ten, I played countless hours of Spidey video games. Point is Spider-Man is a really important character to me. And this kid is NOT Spider-Man. He’s a vacuous, soulless cash grab reduction of Spider-Man that stripped out every bit of depth and character from Peter and then didn’t even bother to get his personality right, and yet people claim he’s the very best Spider-Man ever and other such bullshit just because he’s in the MCU and they’re blinded by the recency bias. 

Emma Swan (OUAT) - I really hate fantasy protagonists who are the chosen one but don’t know anything about magic and then all they do is complain and push back on the actual story. It’s trite. It’s exhausting. I’m over it. And then I also really don’t like that type of character who’s “I’m a strong woman character whose strength is that she complains and is prickly and unlikable” either. So Emma’s a double aggravating for me. Add on top of that the fact that her trashy romance with Hook pretty much tanked the show and his entire character and the fact that Jennifer Morrison is a very hit or miss actress surrounded by bad writing that leaned into her misses rather than her hits. She just sucks.

Jolie!Maleficent - Why would you take the greatest villain of all time and turn her into a trite anti-hero in a mean-spirited garbage movie that had nothing but contempt for its source material? That’s dumb. Also I’m so over these Maleficent adaptations that omit her green skin and give her excessive cleavage even though Malef is a very buttoned up and modest dresser. Not every woman has to be a sex symbol, Hollywood.

The High Sparrow (Game of Thrones) - Never have I ever encountered a villain who has made me more physically ill than this fucker. I can stomach a lot of horrible bad guys who do horrible things, but the High Sparrow literally made me nauseous when he was on screen. One of my personal "triggers" (for lack of a better term - I don’t toss that word around lightly) is that scenario of fanatics using religion to justify murdering and torturing those who they perceive to be "sinners," particularly when it’s used against gay people. This guy's treatment of Loras in particular (but also Cersei and Margaery too) caused all of that to boil up. Everything this guy did was just so unpleasant and gross and honestly it's not something that I actually want to devote my time to watching. I came very close to quitting Game of Thrones altogether over him. In retrospect that probably would have been better than sticking it out given how unsatisfying this all ended.

Jafar (2019 Aladdin) - Firstly, his actor is shitty and monotone and completely lacking in any charisma or emotion. And as a lifelong fan of the classic Jafar who has always loved to imitate Jonathan Freeman and play the character, it just feels like salt in the wound because I know I could have done better and that lots of other talented people could have too. Then everything they add to Jafar (him being a street rat, him being a military expansionist, etc) just feels like it’s window dressing put on as an after-thought designed to create the illusion of depth whilst ultimately being pointless and having no bearing on the story. The writing for him is such a mess, and without a really charismatic actor in the role, there’s nothing to hide how clunky it is. And I hate seeing people tearing down the original villain in favor of this shitty version. He has some nice fancy outfits that look good, but he’s a trash character.

[nateserenas]

can u rank blair, nate,serena and dan’s ships

i did this once here but my opinions have changed and also i’ll include non-canon ships this time and also i really like ranking stuff.

serena:

nate. they <3

vanessa. i smile literally every time i think about them. they had so much potential.

blair. i have very complicated feelings about them and i don’t think had were a particularly healthy relationship but i find their relationship very interesting and i think they loved each other more than anything and i think that through it all they were soulmates.

carter. forever obsessed with the ‘who is he not to want you scene.’ i think they were very similar people and they’d have so much fun together but also understand each other.

nate&carter. talked about them here. (ok and this ends all the ships i like. six and onwards are her the rest of her canon relationships and i dislike them all to varying extents.)

dan. i have an anti der/ena tag.

that guy from s6. it was literally so weird. he was so old and he slept with her mother???

tripp. he was literally just a dick. who leaves somebody unconscious in a car after getting into a crash???

ben. i. despise. him. i literally hate him so much. so so so so so so much.

ok in terms of canon relationships this is all i remember. i think there were definitely some i’m blanking on. also there is a big drop form 5 to 6. i love my entire top five so much and dislike the rest so much.

nate:

serena <3

serena&carter. talked about them here.

dan. i don’t really have strong feeling about them but i was writing about nate the other day and about how he didn’t take action particularly often but there was one person who he always took action for or rather who convinced him to take action and change his own life. dan. like leaving the dartmouth rep, getting into the bus with dan instead of the limo with chuck. also i liked their scenes in s1 a lot.

vanessa. i will forever love that scene in s3 where nate’s doing something not great with regards to tripp and politics and then vanessa is like this isn’t the person i used to know. the person i fell in love with. and that’s what inspires nate to do the right thing. i think they were cute. but like with natedan, i’m not super invested.

blair. i don’t ship them at all. their relationship was them trying to conform to other people’s expectations and about their internalise feelings of inadequacy. i think their breakup was so necessary for both of them to grow and it showed that they were working on letting go of these people they were trying to be and instead deciding to live for themselves. but i do think their relationship is super interesting. like one of my favourites to talk about. and because it took place mostly in s1 and s2 i think it was well written.

carter. nate had a huge crush on carter in s1.

raina. they had some very genuine moments.

lola. all i remember about them was that they spent a lot of time talking about serena. last nate dynamic that i don’t dislike.

ivy. idk?? i always forget they have a thing and i don’t remember it at all.

jenny. no. just no. he treated her like a sister. they were so badly written in s3. just no.

chuck. there was a huge power imbalance in their relationship.

diana. so so bad. she was so much older than her. it was not good.

bree. i don’t remember anything except that i disliked her and she was much older than him.

catherine. no no no no no. he was a child! she was an adult. it was so bad. she manipulated him. also she was sleeping with her stepson.

sage. i’m going to quote my last ranking post because i agree with myself. ‘literally just what the actual fuck she was a HIGH SCHOOLER’.

blair:

dan. they <3

vanessa. talked about them here <3

serena. i have very complicated feelings about them and i don’t think had were a particularly healthy relationship but i find their relationship very interesting and i think they loved each other more than anything and i think that through it all they were soulmates. also i have so many thoughts about blair’s feelings for serena pre-series and in s1.

nate. blair. i don’t ship them at all. their relationship was them trying to conform to other people’s expectations and about their internalise feelings of inadequacy. i think their breakup was so necessary for both of them to grow and it showed that they were working on letting go of these people they were trying to be and instead deciding to live for themselves. but i do think their relationship is super interesting. like one of my favourites to talk about. and because it took place mostly in s1 and s2 i think it was well written.

carter. i wish they had interacted more. this is the last blair dynamic that i actually like.

jenny. idk i think they could have had potential but blair was so so so terrible to jenny so in canon definitely not.

louis. i think the blairlouis plot line was pointless but they weren’t completely terrible until their wedding.

marcus. ew.

chuck. i have an anti ch/air tag.

dan:

blair <3

nate. i don’t really have strong feeling about them but i was writing about nate the other day and about how he didn’t take action particularly often but there was one person who he always took action for or rather who convinced him to take action and change his own life. dan. like leaving the dartmouth rep, getting into the bus with dan instead of the limo with chuck. also i liked their scenes in s1 a lot.

vanessa. i like danessa! i think they loved each other so so much. they didn’t work romantically but they understand each other perfectly as friends.

carter. yes i ship carter with all of them. i think if they had significant interactions in canon it would have been a very interesting dynamic. like dan was pretty fascinated by how ch/uck lived but with chuck, every time dan wasn’t punching him in the face it was out of character. and i feel like with carter dan would’ve gotten the whole stay up all night feeling alive experience with somebody who isn’t a horrible person.

vanessa&the character played by hilary duff. literally all there interactions at nyu were so good. they were so much fun.

hilary duff character. fun! also this is the last dan ship on the list that i don’t dislike.

chuck. okay listen. i obviously despise chuck. and in canon i think every interaction where dan isn’t punching chuck in the face is out of character for him. but also if you watch some of their scenes in s5 and also that one episode where they get arrested and you pretend that chuck isn’t chuck and literally evil, they have a very interesting dynamic. also i feel danchuck is the one chuck relationship without a huge power imbalance.

serena. no de/rena <3

[jwillowwolf]

Magic and Miracles - Chapter 2

Sanders Sides Big Bang fic, Chapter 2!

< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter > | Masterlist

Summary: “Did you really teach yourself magic?”

“Yes. I learnt from whatever books it could find on the subject.”

Janus nodded. “Impressive."

Warning/s: food mention, fantasy racism.

Characters: Logan, Remy, OC, Virgil, Roman, Remus, Patton, Janus.

Tag List: @theimprobabledreamersworld @remy-please-come-back

Read on AO3

2 | Getting to Know You

Logan followed the group just barely as he found himself constantly distracted by his surroundings. The paintings, tapestries, vases, and statues, there seemed to be nearly no blank spaces anywhere, yet it didn’t feel cluttered at all. Everything was remarkable and expensive looking. And eye-catching.

In fact, he didn’t notice when the group had stopped moving and walked right into Virgil, which caused him to stumble backwards. Thankfully, Virgil caught him before he fell onto his butt.

“Careful where you’re walking, Lo. you don’t want to end up walking into a door,” Remy remarked from the front of the group.

Logan blushed. “Sorry.”

Virgil just helped him to his feet and nodded.

“Okay, now please pay attention. This hall has all your rooms and this one,” Remy pointed to the first door on the right. “Is mine. They’re all identical and I couldn't be bothered to assign them to you, so take your pick. Everyone has an hour to get settled then we meet back here in the hall for a tour. Good? Good. Farewell.”

And with that, he retreated into his room. Roman chose the room beside Remy’s and Remus took the one beside him, then Patton took the last room on the right side. Virgil took the first room on the left, which left Janus, Logan, and Willow in the hallway.

“Um, thanks, for earlier. With explaining the last-names thing,” Willow said.

Logan nodded. “It was no problem.”

“You would be surprised how many people find it problematic to understand non-humans,” Janus remarked.

“Well, I have no such prejudices. Also, thank you for calling out Roman’s behaviour.”

“Of course. I can’t stand elves who believe themselves higher than everyone.”

“You can’t stand elves in general,” Willow muttered.

“And for good reason. Have you seen Roman?”

Willow winced. “Remus was nice… kind of.”

“She called you a dog.”

“It’s a common mistake.”

“You’re too forgiving.”

Willow rolled her eyes and turned to Logan. “They’re such a hypocrite.”

Janus huffed. “I’m right here.”

“You’re being mean though, so I’m ignoring you.”

Janus rolled their eyes then also turned their attention to Logan. “Did you really teach yourself magic?”

“Yes. I learnt from whatever books it could find on the subject.”

Janus nodded. “Impressive. How did you manage to find a tome that explained pronunciation?”

“I didn’t. I sort of figured that part out from watching the testing ceremonies.”

“In that case, why not replicate the simple performances other mages made beforehand? It’s not against any rules to do the same spell sequence as someone else.”

“I didn’t want to waste the opportunity. Perhaps it was a bit… over the top to do the spell I did, but I managed to leave an impression.”

Janus smirked. “I suppose that’s a good reason. Anyway, it looks like we’re the last to pick rooms. I’m taking the one on the end, see you both later.”

With that, the trio split up into their rooms. Janus taking the one at the end on the left, and Willow leaving the choice between the two doors between Janus and Virgil’s rooms for Logan to choose between. He chose the one next to Virgil’s, allowing Willow to have the room closer to Janus.

Inside the room, there was a queen-sized bed with four tall wooden posts that suspended a silky blue canopy. There was a dresser, a wardrobe, a writing desk, and a half-empty bookshelf. The books didn’t seem to be anything special. Logan’s bag was already on his bed. He only now realised that he’d left it in the carriage. One of the staff members must have brought it here. Thank goodness they brought it to the right room.

Wait, that was his bag, right?

He double-checked the contents and sighed in relief that it was indeed his bag. After that slight scare, he began unpacking his things and sorting the room just how he wanted it. He was delighted to find some fresh blank papers on the writing desk and a few sharp pencils too.

Forty-five minutes later, everything was organised just the way that Logan wanted and he was… bored out of his mind. He flopped down onto the bed and was distracted for a few moments by how incredibly soft it was. After that novelty wore off though, he found himself bored again and stared up at the blue canopy.

His mind once again thought of how frightening this was. He was truly out of his depth with the complexities and splendour of high society. Perhaps there are some books he can find on the subject to help him. ‘How To Fit In With The Upper Class’

He got up from bed to check if there was such a book, or at least something similar, on the shelf. To his dismay, there seemed to only be fictional novels and a dictionary. He’d need to ask Everleigh about looking out for something at the library. Was there a library here? Remy said that they’d have a tour later so he supposed he’d find out then. Wait, when was that tour?

He checked the clock and noticed that… barely three minutes had passed since he went to lie on the bed. Darn it, there were still at least ten minutes to kill before the tour.

He could have read the fiction novels, but honestly, none of the summaries seemed very appealing. He wondered if he could write something but he didn’t have anything to write. Trying to take a nap was pointless so he found himself just sitting on his windowsill.

The view was rather breathtaking actually. Below there was an array of cobblestone paths, lined with green shrubbery, some of which were dotted with white, pink, and purple buds. There was a hedge in front of the iron fence that lined the property, and beyond that was the dark spruce forest that grew high and looked thick and full of secrets.

Logan wondered briefly what secrets really were hidden there in the forest. Creatures? Monsters? Come to think of it, what was hidden here in the manor. Sure, the students had been permitted to explore the entire estate, but Remy had said that they couldn’t go to the tower. What was in that tower? Books full of forbidden knowledge? A porthole to another realm? A gnome that could turn thread into gold?

No, that was stupid, gnomes don’t like being indoors and surely the Royal Family wouldn’t keep anyone hostage in their private estate. But still, what could be there? It must be something important if even Remy wouldn’t let them know what it was.

“Okay, Tour Time, come on out or get left behind!” Remy called from the hallway, causing Logan to practically fall back into reality as he fell off the windowsill.

He groaned in pain as he got up then went out into the hallway to find Remy and the others waiting for him.

“Alrighty, we’ll begin here. This is the east wing, also known as the guest wing. This particular hallway has been cleaned up for us to use this year so please respect your rooms. The other bedrooms are locked so don’t bother looking at what is inside of them. Now if we go this way...”

The tour lasted for three hours and was mostly without interruption as everyone seemed awestruck by the magnificent manor. Logan was glad not to be alone in his awe as they went through the many different halls and passages. There were countless bedrooms in the east and west wings, private bathrooms on the first floor, several studies, sitting rooms, a library [that Logan clocked for later], extensive several acres of gardens, a ballroom, and a large dining hall fit for royalty, which is where they finished the tour to eat lunch.

There was a variety of smoked meats, fresh loaves of bread, tossed salad, a platter of cheese, and lemonade to wash it all down. Logan didn’t know what half of the meats were but tried a little bit of each. He found that he preferred sticking to the familiar beef slices for his lunch and enjoyed them in the form of a little sandwich.

He noted that while Virgil ate the simple sandwich like him, Roman, Remus, and Patton seemed to prefer the salad, while Willow and Janus ate more meat. Willow preferring theirs medium rare while Janus had used some magic to cook theirs further. Logan wondered if this was to do with their race. Willow was part wolf while Janus was part dragon, making them both somewhat carnivores, so craving a lot of meat seemed reasonable. Maybe he could ask about it later if they didn’t mind.

They had certainly seemed the friendliest to him so far, apart from Patton of course. But Patton seemed the type of person who made friends with everyone. Janus, as Willow had implied earlier, was acting cold towards the twins, and Roman seemed to be returning the same cold energy towards everyone apart from Patton. He even seemed cold to Remus, but more in an annoyed sibling fashion. Remus himself seemed indifferent to everyone, just happily chatting with Pat and sometimes blurting inappropriate thoughts. Willow looked still a bit shy though not nearly as tense as this morning, and Virgil was being silent and mysterious as ever.

“Now that lunch is done, let’s have an icebreaker,” Remy suggested.

“It seems quite warm in here, are you sure the ice needs to be broken?” Patton asked.

Everyone was silent for a moment, either cringing or holding back a laugh. Remy looked like that comment had physically pained him as he stared at Patton.

“Just for that, you’re up first, Patty.”

“Oh, um, what are we doing?”

“We’re going to go around and share a fun little fact about ourselves,” Remy explained.

“Alrighty, well, I like frogs. Sometimes, my brother and I go to the marshes and catch a few to just look at them.” Patton stated.

“You have a brother?” Remus asked.

Patton nodded. “Yeah, my little brother Morgan. He’s twelve and likes frogs almost as much as me.”

“That’s so cool. My brother isn’t even remotely interested in what I like.” Remus sighed.

“That’s because you like gory stories about seafaring hooligans,” Roman said.

“They’re not hooligans, they’re pirates. And I’m going to become one someday.” Remus declared.

Patton cocked his head to the side. “Oh?”

“At least I’d want to do the sailing part, I’ll leave the plunder and pillaging to the others. Unless I get bored,” Remus shrugged.

“I suppose we can accept that as your fact, Remus,” Remy said. “You wanna go next, Rome?”

“Roman, and yes, I shall. I am the best swordsman among the nobility. In fact, I’m to be knighted once I come of age,” Roman declared.

“You need to do an incredible deed to become a knight,” Janus pointed out.

Roman huffed. “Well, I will have you know that my great deed was saving the crown prince himself. Single-handedly.”

Virgil snorted at that.

Roman sneered at him. “And what do you find so amusing, Stormy Knight?”

“You lying about 1, becoming a knight and 2, saving the prince. Everyone knows he’s kept protected in the castle so that no one even knows his face. There's not even a remote chance that you’ve met him.”

“Well, I have. He’s actually quite handsome and much more sophisticated than any one of you. He even personally told me about his idea for this school.”

Virgil just shook his head with amusement.

“I agree with Virgil, you’re lying through your teeth. I suppose we’ll all just have to assume you’re nothing important.” Janus declared.

Roman glared at them. “I am the heir of Lycrest Isle, therefore future governor of the Eastern Ocean. I am a very important person, if not the most important here.”

Janus smirked. “Yet you’re so boring you have to lie about yourself.”

“You-”

“Can go next, Janus, since you’re so eager to speak,” Remy interrupted, steeping between the elf and dragon just in case.

“Alright then. Well, I am known in Evergreen Valley as close to royalty, since I am not only a dragon shifter but also the song of the western governor, Declan the fearless.” Janus stated.

“Cool story kid. Wolfie, you’re up.” Remy announced, ignoring the growing tension between Roman and Janus.

“Um, I grew up with Janus, my eight cousins and two younger siblings, with who I am very close,” Willow said.

“I thought you were part of a pack?” Remus said.

“I am. My pack includes my biological family, and many cousins who I was raised alongside,” Willow explained. “What did you think being a part of a pack meant?”

“Well, if you are a part of a pack, then how did you grow up with Janus?”

“I fostered with the Redrunner pack for most of my childhood,” Janus clarified.

“Oh, so you guys are like childhood friends?” Patton asked.

Willow nodded. “Yep.”

Roman looked over to Willow and said. “I’m sorry.”

“For…?”

“How long you’ve had to stand them.”

“Hey!” Janus snapped. “That is a direct attack against my character.”

“And calling me a liar isn’t?”

“Virgil called you a liar, I only agreed with him.”

“Don’t drag me into this.”

“Yeah, can’t you fight your own battles, Dragon?”

“You want to fight me, Elf?”

“Okay, no, that is where I draw the line,” Remy said in a booming voice that instantly silenced the two teens. “You don’t have to like each other, or get along that well, but there will be no physical fighting while you are under my care. In fact, if I see any of you harm each other, then I’ll send you straight home, no excuses. Am I understood?”

“Yes sir,” everyone replied.

“Great, well, that’s enough fun bonding time for today, I suppose. You can all go back to your rooms now.”

And so, that marked the end of Logan’s interactions with his class for the day, since he went straight to bed once he returned to his room. He had not gotten much sleep the night before due to nerves and excitement, so after everything that had happened, he was more than ready to drift away to dreamland.

Now that he had met his classmates, and gotten to know them if only briefly, he sorely hoped that they wouldn’t cause any disturbances to his learning magic. He didn’t want to fail the second test because of some argumentative teens taking up class time. He would be taking the test alone anyway, so he supposed that it wouldn’t affect him if they all failed. But really, he hoped that was the only fight he’d have to witness this year...

---

A/N: thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this. I'll be posting two chapters a day until the full fic is up, so if you want to be tagged, you can just ask.

I'd love to hear what you thought about the chapter if you wouldn't mind commenting. Thanks again for reading! Here's hoping you have a magical day 💜

[flowerpowell]

Unexpected (Drake x MC)

PART FOURTEEN

A/N: *whispers* I’m sorry!

Characters belong to PB (except for Dani, she’s my baby)

Rating: PG-16 (mentions of drug abuse and being drugged)

Word count: 2365

Tagging: @gardeningourmet​ @delightfullypinkglitter​ @desireepow-1986​ @hopefulmoonobject​ @dcbbw​ @kingliam2019​ @the-soot-sprite​ @mskaneko​ @thequeenofcronuts​ @badchoicesposts​ @burnsoslow​ @annekebbphotography​ @alesana45​ @addictedtodrakefanfic​ @walkerduchess​ @ao719​ @texaskitten30​ @lodberg​ @cordonianroyalty​ @emichelle​ @siriusxxvideos​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​ @samihatuli​ @choices-lurker​ @i-miss-trr​ @drxkewalker​ @nikkis1983​ @innerpostmentality​ @msjr0119​ @bascmve01​ @mind-reader1​ @edgiestwinter​ @drakesensworld​ @queenjilian​ @princessleac1​ @saivilo​ @yukinagato2012​ ♥

Riley stood still, her eyes wide open not being able to stop looking. The glass water bottle she was holding, slipped from her hands and hit the floor, breaking into thousands of pieces, just like her heart.

The noise caused Kiara and Drake to look up and finally acknowledge that someone was in the room with them. Drake’s eyes widened slightly as he noticed Riley and he blinked a couple of times as if trying to sober up.

“Riley,” he rasped as he tried to get up, pushing Kiara off of him.

“Yes, Riley. Your wife.” Riley hissed, her eyes welling up with tears. “I’m sorry I ruined your little rendezvous.”

“Riley... It’s not... I don’t...” he tried to think of words, something that would make sense but nothing came to his mind. He turned his attention to Kiara and noticed she was only in her bra. And he wasn’t wearing any shirt.

Oh no.

“I swear I don’t--” Drake started as he tried to get up but Riley started already walking away.

“Riley!” he cried out after her but heard only the sound of the front door closing as a response. He felt someone’s hand stroking his hair and saw Kiara, smiling down at him.

“Get. Out,” he hissed, pushing her hand away. The shock after seeing Riley made him a little bit more sober but he still wasn’t able to get up from the couch.

“Mais, Drake, we aren’t finished yet!”

“Get out!” He raised his voice and flinched at how loud it was. “I don’t know what you did to me, but you’re gonna pay.”

“Drake, you must be sick, I didn’t do anything,” she tried to grab his hand but he pushed it away, again.

“Get out or I’ll call the cops,” he theatened and Kiara swallowed hard.

“Well, if you insist,” she fixed her dress and grabbed her purse, “if you need anything just call me.”

Drake sighed as Kiara left. What was wrong with that whiskey? He only drank one glass! One glass! Was it because he hadn’t drank whiskey in a few days? That wasn’t possible, was it?

Drake looked for his phone but couldn’t find it anywhere. Not being able to stand up on his own yet, he lay down and closed his eyes, hoping Riley would understand when he finally would be able to explain what happened.

~~~~

“Riley?” Dani looked at her sister with concern written all over face. Riley almost never cried. The last time she did, was at Nana’s funeral. And now, Riley was standing in front of her hotel room, her eyes red from crying, her whole face swollen.

“May I come in?” She asked and Dani nodded, letting her in.

“Can I stay here for a bit?”

“Ri... what happened?”

“Nothing,” Riley shrugged and walked up to Dani’s bed and sat on it.

“I’m not stupid, Ri. What’s wrong?”

“Oh, besides, the fact that I just found Drake in bed with another woman? Not much really.”

“What?!” Dani’s eyes widened. “Are you sure it was Drake? Not his evil twin or something?”

Riley raised an eyebrow at her sister.

“I mean, it doesn’t sound like Drake to me.”

“Well, I guess you don’t know him that well. And neither do I,” Riley added, almost whispering.

“I don’t understand. Drake would NEVER. He is so in love with you!”

“Can you please stop? He was not, clearly. I was right not to trust him, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Riley, can you start from the beginning? It doesn’t make any sense to me!” Dani shook her head. Drake would never do it. She was sure of it.

Within next couple of minutes, Riley filled her in with all the details, starting with the message and ending on her leaving their apartment.

His apartment.

She wasn’t going to live there with him anymore.

“That... still doesn’t sound like Drake. Something must have happened.”

“You know what happened? You always seeing people as good. And some people are just not. And you know what? It’s fine. I don’t care. I don’t care about Drake and I never did. I just wanted the restaurant and now I have it. I reached my goal, I don’t need Drake anymore.”

“That sounds more like you are trying to convince yourself rather than me,” Dani noticed and Riley narrowed her eyes.

“I need to use the bathroom,” she said and quickly left the room. She wished it was as easy as she told Dani it was but her heart felt like breaking. She hated herself for falling for Drake so easily.

Riley sat down on a bathtub and wiped the tears that kept on coming. That wasn’t Drake. She thought she knew him. And what hurt the most was that in fact, she didn’t.

~~~~

“Answer the phone!” Drake had been trying to reach Riley for the tenth time and she was still not answering. He still felt a bit dizzy but he could walk a little at least.

“Riley!” He yelled at the phone but it was pointless, she wasn’t answering.

He threw his phone on the couch and sat down, burying his head in his hands. Everything smelled like whiskey and for the first time in his life, he hated that smell.

He looked up at his glass and noticed how dirty it was. What was weirder, Kiara’s wasn’t.

“I’m gonna burn the glass she drank from,” he murmured to himself as he took the glasses to the kitchen. He threw Kiara’s glass to the trash can and was about to put his in the dishwasher when he noticed a little bit of white powder at the bottom of the glass.

“What the...” he inspected the powder but it didn’t smell like anything. He closed his eyes, gritting his teeth.

“That little--” he kicked the dishwasher before grabbing his phone.

“Liam? Can I ask you to have something tested for me? I think someone tried to drug me.”

~~~~

Riley was lying on the bed with Dani spooning her. When she was younger, she always came to Dani’s room and slept in her sister’s bed. It made her feel safe. It was already late and Dani was fast asleep but Riley couldn’t sleep. The image of Drake and Kiara was haunting her and she couldn’t escape it. Every time she closed her eyes she first saw her and Drake, happy and in love and then the image was followed by Drake and Kiara in bed. She sighed deeply as she turned her attention to the table where she left her phone. Every once in a while, it went bright for a few seconds, lighting up the whole room before going dark again. It was two in the morning and Drake still was calling her. He hadn’t stopped calling her even for a moment, the longest break he had was less than ten minutes and Riley was worried he didn’t even have time to eat.

Not that she cared.

Her phone lit up again and she squeezed her eyes shut. Go to sleep Drake, she thought.

The phone was lighting up many more times before Riley finally fell asleep and stopped counting.

~~~~

When Riley woke up, she felt even less refreshed than she did before going to sleep. She quickly checked her phone.

Two hundred sixty four missed calls. Twenty messages. The last one was from five minutes ago.

She turned off her phone.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Dani greeted her, walking out of the bathroom.

“Morning.”

“Feeling any better?”

Riley shook her head, “Worse. I think I had nightmares this whole time.”

“You poor thing. Would coffee make you a bit happier? The cafeteria here is pretty good if you ask me,” Dani offered.

“Please,” Riley said and Dani nodded before heading out.

Riley went back to bed and started drifting off but a phone notification woke her up.

“Ugh, I thought I turned it off,” she groaned. She took the phone and noticed it was Dani’s phone, not hers and the notification was from... Liam?

“He’s probably asking where I am,” she rolled her eyes as she read the message.

Good morning, what improper things is the proper daughter up to today?

Riley raised her eyebrows reading the text once... then again... and again.

“Well, I guess Dani has some explaining to do as well,” she murmured. She knew her sister and Liam planned the dinner for her and Drake but she had no idea Dani was so close with him.

When Dani came back with coffee, Riley was sitting on the bed smiling.

“Thank you, my lifesaver!”

“Are you okay?” Dani asked worriedly.

“I’m better. But there’s something that can make me feel even better.”

“What is it? Do you need a cupcake?”

“I’d feel much better if my dear sister told me allll the interesting things about her relationship with the King,” Riley wiggled her eyebrows.

“My what?” Dani asked, almost tripping.

“He messaged you, I thought it was my phone so I read it. Come on, you know what’s between Drake and I, I want to know what is between you and Liam!”

“But there’s nothing,” Dani shrugged. “He’s a King. And I’m going back to New York at the end of September. We... I think I can say we’ve become good friends. But... we live in two different realities and there’s no more than that.”

“But you like him?” Riley studied Dani’s face closely. She didn’t need an answer. Dani’s red face said it all. “You want to have something more with him, don’t you?”

“I do not! He’s a good man and I’m sure he’ll soon find a good woman to marry. I treat him as my friend but nothing beyond that,” Dani bit her lip. She really wished it was true. He deserved someone as amazing as he was. And she was leaving in a few weeks. It could never work out.

“Well, your good man is calling you,” Riley motioned Dani’s phone and Dani grabbed it.

“Yes? Hi,” she said as she closed the bathroom door behind her, catching a glimpse of Riley shaking her head.

“I’m good, thank you. How are you?”

“Busy,” Liam chuckled. “How... How is Riley?”

Last night, when Riley was taking a shower, Dani messaged Liam and told him Riley was staying with her. She didn’t have Drake’s number but knew Liam would tell him. And she didn’t want either of them to be worried.

“Miserable. She’s trying to act as if nothing happened but I know her, she’s suffering.”

“She should talk to him. They should talk,” Liam sighed.

“I know, but she doesn’t want to answer her phone. I can’t make her.”

“I... Drake... He was drugged. Most likely. Kiara must have added something to his drink.”

“What?!”

“We’re still waiting for the analysis from the lab but... Drake found something white in his glass. And the symptoms he had, it’s clear that Kiara drugged him.”

“I knew Drake wouldn’t do it! I knew it! He loves her. And ugh, why would anyone do this?” Dani asked confused. She didn’t know Kiara but she didn’t like her already.

“Who knows,” Dani heard Liam sighing. “Kiara always had a crush on Drake. But... she’s also Madeleine’s friend so...”

“Oh. I understand.”

There was a silence for a moment before Liam cleared his throat.

“I... miss you. My days are much better when we eat baklava all day and jump from the waterfalls.”

Dani chuckled. “My stomach still hurts from the baklava. And I didn’t even eat a half of what you did! How do you even do it?”

“It’s a talent,” Liam laughed. “You’re not the only one with many talents.”

“Yes, well,” She felt warm inside. How nice would it be if things were different. If maybe, there were in another life, where things were easier. “I gotta go and be with my sister. But keep me updated.”

“Of course. Have a good day, Danielle.”

~~~~

Riley was pacing in Dani’s hotel room when her sister left. She wanted to go to her restaurant but was scared she would bump into Drake and she didn’t want to see him.

Dani tried to tell her that the situation was just one big misunderstanding and explained how Drake was supposedly drugged.

“A drowning man will clutch at a straw,” Riley commented and didn’t want to talk to anyone anymore. 

She wasn’t sure if Drake wasn’t making this up, a poor excuse for what he did. She wasn’t sure of anything anymore and that hurt her the most. She thought she knew him. It turned out she didn’t. And she didn’t know what to do or what to think. She decided not to trust anyone.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. She opened it and as soon as she saw who was standing behind it, she tried to close it again.

“Riley, please, stop, we need to talk,” Drake pleaded.

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Riley! I didn’t do anything! She drugged me. I lost control over my own body.”

“And why should I believe you?” she asked and he stared at her, his mouth wide open.

“Because... it’s true?”

“Goodbye, Drake,” she tried to close the door but Drake effortlessly opened them.

“I was drugged, Riley! What am I supposed to do so you finally talk to me?”

“Nothing, Drake,” she sighed. “I’m tired. This whole situation... Bartie, our fake marriage, now this... I am tired”

“Our marriage is not fake. What do you want me to do? Tell me!”

“Let’s just... focus on getting this custody. And then getting our marriage annuled.”

[quileutedeity]

are you dumb? | q.a

summary: claire loves pocahontas, and it turns out quil might have a thing for her, too.  pairing: quil ateara x anastasia connor (OC) (I’m really shitty at reader inserts and absolutely hate writing ‘y/n’ so yes, there’s an oc for this lil one-shot. Pls love her, shes a soft bean.) a/n: unedited, roughly 3k. circa 2010, making claire 7 and quil 21 :) if you dig this, maybe consider sharing or dropping a comment! hope ya’ll enjoy! 

For a child, Disneyland is easily the happiest place on earth. It was truly exhilarating to see your favourite Disney characters come to life, to be able to interact with them, to experience their splendor. There were eight kingdoms inside the park, each revolving around a given slice of Disneyana. Fantasyland was obvious -- that one was for fairy tales, princes and princesses. Tomorrowland launches you into a more futuristic theme. New Orleans Square provides a more sophisticated feel, resembling that of the French Quarter, whereas popping over to Toon Town felt like you were stepping straight into a cartoon. 

A family trip for five ultimately turned into pack gathering of ten. Emily was more than excited to bring her nieces to the magic kingdom, but falling into her third trimester three weeks prior to when their flight was to leave, she was saddened to say she wouldn’t be able to go. Naturally, Samuel gave no second thought to staying home with his wife, and so five turned into three, leaving Quil scrambling at the last minute to find someone to supervise two eight year olds with him. He couldn’t handle Claire and her sister alone, not with the pair of them constantly going out of their way to have his heart fall out of his ass. 

They were little monsters.

Four days shy from departure, Quil had wrangled in each and every pack member with some bout of luck. Jacob had been the easiest; Renesmee had yet to leave the comfort of Washington, and Bella was more than willing to allow Jake to take her child out of the state for a week of adult-supervised fun. Truthfully, Quil knew that she complained to Jacob all the time about needing some quality time with Edward. Jacob never really thought much of it, given that they shared at least twelve hours a day to themselves. 

When Kim caught wind of the trip, she all but begged Jared to go. Not wanting to endure six days alone with his girlfriend, two brothers and their tag-along ‘children’, he managed to convince Embry and Paul to come, too. Surely they could make the most of the trip with a little harmless betting. 

And by then, it seemed pointless for the leftovers to even bother trying to evade the question. Seth nearly jumped up and down, unable to contain his excitement. Not much else was expected from the twenty year old, and Leah only came along because Seth promised to buy her mouse ears. None of them had ever stepped foot outside Washington themselves, not outside of their wolf forms, so they decided to view it as a family bonding experience. 

Sometime a week later, Quil sunk himself deeper in the hoard of blankets that covered the entirety of his bed, unwilling to move from the plush comfort of the mattress. Their flight had been tiring and long, and his abnormally large frame was not designed for the seats provided in economy. No one was willing to argue about sleeping arrangements when they landed and made it to the hotel, and so everyone had been divided.

Claire, her sister and Renesmee were roomed with Leah and Kim; Jared hadn’t been thrilled about spending an entire week sharing a room with Paul, given that he snored and would be the culprit behind a messy bathroom, but at least Seth would be able to provide some comedic relief. This left Quil with Embry and Jacob -- both of whom had been awake for over an hour, and were tired of waiting on their third party to rise. 

Frustrated and impatient, Jacob glanced over to the shared bathroom, and then the arrangement of glasses that were brought up during housekeeping. They definitely didn’t hold enough water in one, but with two he was certain he would have his friend up in no time. 

“What are you doing?” Inquired Embry when Jake stood from his seat and padded past him; he was playing online poker, attention otherwise distracted whilst he waited for Quil to rise. 

“Waking him up,” Jacob grunted, swiping two cups from the silver platter to fill with cold water from the bathroom faucet. He’s too damn lazy for his own good, Jacob thought. 

Embry was yanked from his trance as a loud, high pitched screeching suddenly filled the confinements of their room. His earthy hues cut to Jake, who stood over their friend with a fuming expression. 

“Dude, what the fuck!” Quil brought his voice down a few octaves, hand immediately moving to pinch his nose and squeeze his eyes shut. The bitterness of the water hadn’t been necessary, truthfully a simple smack to the forehead would’ve been enough. Five more minutes, please, just five more minutes --- 

“Get up.” 

His exhaustion began to trickle away from the edges of his foggy mind, slowly allowing him to gain more consciousness and awareness to his surroundings. “You’re worse than Claire.” 

“Get up.”

There it was. That goddamn birthright. That stupid frequency to his tone that was unwavering, and final. It wasn’t that it dropped, or picked up more bass -- it was completely undetectable to the human ear, but both Embry and Quil flinched under its preeminence. There was no use in trying to fight it.

So Quil begrudgingly abandoned his sheets, shouldering past Jacob to pluck his towel off the back of a chair before retreating into the bathroom. 

The whine of the water racing through the pipes broke the momentary silence. Jacob exhaled in defeat, collapsing backwards into his own bed with a hand threaded into his hair. He tried not to do that. He really did, but whenever his emotions elevated, it was hard to keep it at bay. 

Twenty-five minutes later, the boys are dressed and pulling shoes on when a trio of fists slam into the other side of their door, pounding incessantly until Embry finally yanked it open. He revealed Claire and her sister, wide eyed and bushy tailed, in front of an equally excited Renesmee. 

He let them run past him into the room, all three jumping onto the separate beds each of the boys occupied during the night, effectively ruining the sheets Jacob had just made. 

“Where’s …” Embry trailed off, divot between his brows deepened as he took a step forward to peer into the hall; Leah and Kim were slowly making their way towards the open door, sporting tired eyes and coffee trays in hand. “You look rough.” 

“Bite me,” barked Leah, shoving past his wide frame. 

Kim, albeit sleepy and still falling over, offered him a warm smile and held up her tray, “Black. Just how you like it.” 

None of their coffee orders changed over the years -- except Paul, who had come to the conclusion that caffeine fed his emotions negatively, and as a result ended up switching to tea, instead.

Embry took his coffee from the lot, dipping to press a swift kiss to the top of her head. “You’re the best,” he cheered, lifting the beverage to his nose. Yeah. Coffee was definitely what they needed to start their day. 

“Has anyone heard from Jared?” Kim wondered, handing Quil and Jacob their respective drinks. “I tried knocking on the room an hour ago, no one answered.” 

Jacob shook his head; typically, he wouldn’t have reason to worry, but they were in unfamiliar territory, and none of them knew what to expect. Quil slurped down his mocha, watching the gears in his best friend's head turn. He knew that look all too well.

“They’re fine, Jake,” he tried, but it was a futile effort. 

His words were dismissed quickly before Jacob launched himself away from the window and towards the beds, shoulders tight with stress. “One of you are gonna end up hurting yourself, and then you can’t go on any of the rides.” 

“Oh, c’mon!” Nessie whined, halting her movement entirely. “We’re supposed to be having fun.” 

“Fun is in the park,” he reminded her, helping Claire’s sister, Cicily, down from the bed. 

Claire hopped down, placing herself in front of Quil with an expectant look. “Quil.” Tiny hands moved to rest on her hips; she resembled Emily for a fleeting moment. “I want to go now. Please.” 

At least she used her manners. 

Claire was determined to visit all eight kingdoms. Originally, she didn’t have a preference on where in the park they started, but by the time lunch hour rolled around and they’d finally stopped for some ice cream, she was all but demanding they head over to Fantasyland next. 

“Should we go back to check on the boys?” Kim called from somewhere behind the boys, kids perched on their shoulders as they carried them from Toon Town. “It’s been a couple hours, Jared hasn’t texted me yet.” Her concern was warranted; Jacob was fussing over their absence, too. 

Quil looked sideways at Leah, who was quietly walking alongside him, licking her vanilla swirl cone. Apart from himself, she was the only one who hadn’t complained about the lack of rowdy and energy present -- he wondered if she was enjoying time away from Seth. This was a vacation of sorts, after all. 

“They’ll catch up when they’re rea -- ow!” growled Quil, wincing as Claire’s fingers yanked hard on a fistful of hair. “Ease up, Clairebear!” 

“Look!” She pointed to the general vicinity in front of them; there were hundreds of people, several rides and a handful of buildings -- what exactly was he supposed to be looking at? Quil didn’t even know. “Pocahontas!” 

And before Quil could even reach up to help, she was attempting to crawl her way down the length of his towering frame to the safety of the ground. He could practically feel her excitement radiating off her in waves. 

The Native princess was one that Claire was particularly fond of, and Quil speculated that was because she was the only princess who looked remotely close to his imprint and her sister. Just this past Halloween, she made a big fuss about going out with a one-armed dress and a blue necklace. Quil helped her pick the material, but had to get Jacob to weave it into a necklace and attach the pendant Quil found. His fingers were just too beefy to work with the string, and Jake had always been dexterous. 

Claire ran out towards the crowd, sending Quil into an immediate bout of panic as he tried to race after her, momentarily losing her bobbing head in the sea of children and parents. 

“Wow!” 

He narrowed his eyes in on where Claire’s voice came from, landing eyes on her as she stood next to the young woman dressed up; her dress was tailored to fit her frame perfectly, almost like a second glove, looking like a real life replica of the princess he watched at least once a day for nearly a year. Her necklace, however, definitely wasn’t handmade. 

The shifter waited nearby whilst she went on her thrilled tirade, bubbly voice drowning out the rest of the kids that stood close by and watched her in slight amazement. Sure, other little girls and boys were over the moon when they came across their favourite Disney character, but Claire? 

Claire damn near fell over. 

With tears in her eyes, she grabbed onto the woman’s hand and squeezed tightly. The cast member dropped down to her level, using her thumb to gently wipe the child's cheek, and then offered a dazzling smile. 

“Woah, hey,” Quil stepped in with a nervous laugh, uneasy about how his imprint had gone into a full blown cry. “Whatsa matter, Clairebear?”

“I-I’m … just s-so … happy!” She managed between hiccups, swiping the back of her hand over her eyes to clear them -- a useless effort, the tears continued to fall. “You’re the prettiest princess I’ve ever seen!” 

Pocahontas, or .. rather the woman playing her, was definitely taken off guard by the young girls passion. Truthfully, she picked this particular character due to her own personal ties to her own Native history. The longer she listened to Claire cry, the more aware she became that the child in front of her resembled much of herself as she grew up; suddenly, she understood her overwhelming emotions and dove into consoling her. 

“Hey, now,” Ana was always good with kids. There was something about her that made them feel welcome, and safe. It was why she fought so hard to become a cast member to pay her way through school. Becoming an early childhood educator was a dream, one she was two years away from achieving. Ana gripped tightly onto the girls hand, touching her chin tenderly. “I’m so happy!” 

“W-Why?” 

Ana giggled, only aware of the man towering over them from the outline of his shadow, and continued, “Because you’re here, silly! Today’s the most special day!” 

Claire’s large brown orbs gazed up at Ana for two heartbeats before her lips broke out into a wide smile. This kept the tears at bay for now. 

“I’m sorry about this,” Quil huffed in a forced laugh, meeting the cast members eyes for the first time. Hazel, the green more vibrant with the sun shining in them, soft and kind. Taken off guard, he stumbled over his next words, “She’s uh … not usually this … emotional. You have really nice eyes.” He just had to get it out there.

Ana blinked, surveying his frame for any sign of insincerity prior to a light dust of colour rushing to her cheeks. “Thank you. And don't worry about it, I’ve had some kids throw up on me.” 

His brows disappeared into his hairline, lip pulling upwards in the corner trying to imagine the pretty woman in front of him covered in chunks; definitely not the most appealing thought, or sight, but her indifference was slightly humorous to him.  

“People just love you that much, huh?” 

Playing along, she nodded matter-of-factly, “Yes, sir, they do.” 

Claire, whilst only eight and naive, could see the way her princess swayed and leaned towards Quil; was she thrilled the attention had moved from her? No. But, Claire asked Quil all the time if he had a girlfriend, even pointed out pretty girls when they drove to the beach and asked if he thought they were pretty, too. Of course, he said yes to the majority, most of the time to appease her, but there was some truth behind it. 

He’s had a handful over the last few years, though none ever seemed to last. Or want to, rather. Not being able to pull them into his real life was what hindered them the most. Most girls hated how withdrawn he could be, disliked his secrecy, some couldn’t stand his brothers -- one had even pointed out that he was more willing and eager to spend time with Claire, over themselves. 

Guilty. 

Spending time with Claire was pretty much all he did. With her in school now, they did see each other less; it didn’t bother him if he went a couple days with only a phone call. He mostly wanted to check in and make sure his favourite human bean was happy, and seldom ever turned down an opportunity to see her. 

So, he babysat. A lot. And after a lot of discussion and consideration, Claire was encouraged to refer to Quil and his brothers as her ‘uncles’. It came naturally, which was no surprise to everyone. 

Embry did ask if the imprint bond made things hard. Quil admitted that he wished every day he had imprinted on someone his own age like the rest, but now could not see his life without Claire present. With or without the bond, she was easily one of the coolest kids he’d ever met. She only recently learned how to ride her bike, and Quil was already excited to teach her how to drive. 

The conversation progressed quickly; they shared tid-bits between each other, basics. She did snicker at his name, something he usually would’ve given her grief for but he decided that the way it rolled off her tongue made up for it. The pair didn’t realize the group had moved on, though Ana was suddenly very aware of the lingering eyes that waited patiently until she was finished. 

“I’m done at seven,” she started, taking a step back to pull herself from his bubble, “And I’m gonna eat my bodyweight in soft serve. You wanna join me?” 

Definitely. The shifter nodded quickly, pulling his phone out from his rear pocket to create a new contact; he took her number, promising to message her sometime after she was finished -- he wasn’t sure if the others would be upset with him, but if all else failed, he knew Embry would supervise Claire for him in his absence. 

Claire was the one who might have the biggest problem, but it was a surprise when her eyes lit up and she clapped excitedly. 

“You’re going to see the princess again?” 

Quil wanted to laugh, but nodded instead. “I want to. If that’s cool with you? I can come back and stay for the movie night --” 

“No!” Claire yelled quickly, abruptly cutting him off. “You have to go.” 

He thought about her kind smile and patient eyes, two features he never would have paid mind to as a teen. But as he entered adulthood, Quil found himself appreciating little things he typically never did. 

“I have to?” 

“She’s a princess, are you dumb?”

[txladyj-blog]

This Time Around - Chapter 27

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx​ by request of @txladyj-blog​

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Tags: Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Awkwardness, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Crush, Fluff and Humor, Angst and Humor, Mild Smut, Strong Language, Eventual Sex, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence, Some Canon Scenes and Dialogue

Chapters 29/?

Three weeks was a long time for Jess when her movement was severely restricted and everything that she did had to be managed with one arm while she became almost fanatical about doing physio exercises to coax her shoulder back to its original strength. Daryl had become her shadow, only leaving her for a couple of hours at a time and it was becoming very evident to her that his continual presence was beginning to grate on her nerves as well as convincing her that she was a huge burden on his life. She knew he was doing it because he cared, because he didn’t want to see her injure herself further and also because she’d heard him mutter to himself that it was all his fault in the first place. At any other time, Jess would have been ecstatic to be able to spend so much time with him but guilt was playing a huge part in Daryl’s actions and she couldn’t stand the thought of him blaming himself for what was essentially, an accident. She had tried and failed to get him to at least go back to Alexandria during the daytime, but he wouldn’t hear of it, telling her that he didn’t trust her not to push herself too far. She didn’t argue. He had a point.

During the evenings spent at the diner, they often went about their own business without the need to fill the silence with chatter. She would journal, spending her time doodling over writing the long paragraphs that harked back to her past. Daryl would carve arrows or make fishing weights while she witnessed how good he was with his hands from the other side of the room. Occasionally, they would indulge in fiercely competitive card games or would simply sit back and play ‘never have I ever’ with the short supply of orange juice that was rationed from Alexandria. It was a game that set Jess’s teeth on edge for fear of being asked something so personal that she may feel the need to lie. But it never happened and for that, she was grateful.

The nights were as peaceful as they could be, with only the twinges of discomfort in her arm that made her flinch awake. As long as Daryl was there, her nightmares stayed locked behind the barrier he’d created between her reality and that of her trauma. He slept beside her, keeping a small distance between them unless she worked her way into it and ended up flush against his body with her face buried in his arm. He didn’t stop her or dare try to move her, such a small and seemingly common situation for anyone else meaning so much more to him that it calmed his inner chaos as much as it did hers.

She wouldn’t have called it arguing as much, but being in such close proximity all the time meant that it was inevitable that they would discover things about one another that caused friction. But their frayed tempers never crossed the line into full-on conflict and Daryl had to admit that he sometimes liked digging at her and watching her irritation towards him. He would deliberately poke fun at her or use her need to be a stickler for organisation against her by putting her books back in the wrong order, reveling in watching her jut her lower lip out and giving him daggers for even touching them. She was easy to wind up because he knew, after so long, exactly what buttons to push. Although it was highly amusing, it wasn’t a patch on seeing her blush.

Jess wasn’t one to let deliberate teasing slide though and her retaliation to Daryl’s incessant mockery was to hit him with the one thing he couldn’t stand; someone telling him how to do something. Her need to continue training, albeit gently gave her the perfect opportunity to throw pointless comments at him.

“A bird could swoop down and rip that thing right off if you don’t put your tongue away when you aim.” She would quip from the side lines of her training ground. His jaw tightened and his face turned stony but still, she persisted.

“Keep your fingers still on that knife handle. Dang. It’s not a frickin’ accordion.”

Quite clearly, he was discovering that he wasn’t the only one to get enjoyment out of merciless tomfoolery and maybe, just maybe, he’d met his match.

Yes, three weeks was a long time for Jess. Especially when Daryl made no further attempts to kiss her and as a result, lured her into a head-space in which she’d convinced herself that the whole thing had been a lapse of judgement. That he really did just want to be her friend and nothing more. The worst part was the voice in the back of her mind that prodded at her self-esteem, goading her into believing that it was because he’d seen her with hardly any clothes on and so, the sight of her curvaceous shape and awkward conduct had turned him off completely. But she still caught him staring at her. An act that she was not completely innocent of herself and she wished and wished that it meant he was building up to making a move that, to her sadness, never happened.

At the end of the third week they trudged through the searing hot woods towards Alexandria. Everywhere she looked, Jess could almost see the heat rising in blurry waves all around them, as though they were walking through a mirage that the canopy of trees overhead did little to stifle. She talked mindlessly, paying little attention to the words that came from her mouth, her focus mainly being on her destination and how she would get there without boiling to death in the heat.

“You don’t have to stay with me anymore y’know. I’m fine. It’s been three weeks. If my arm was going to fall off, I’m pretty sure it would have happened by now.”

The crackling of twigs under boots and the swishing of fabric was all of a sudden a lot quieter than before and she smoothed a palm across her forehead and glanced to her side to find Daryl’s eyes firmly locked on hers.

“What is it?” She asked.

He said nothing and to her surprise, stopped walking, sighing deeply and regarding her as if she were some kind of troublesome issue in his life that he didn’t quite know how to handle. His eyes drifted away briefly, only to fall back to her and his hand clutched the strap of his crossbow at his shoulder. His fingers toyed with the frayed fabric and Jess started to feel uncomfortable when he stepped towards her, only to rethink it and step back again.

“Are you okay? What is it?” She pressed, knowing that if Daryl stopped in his tracks in the middle of the woods on a terribly hot day and said nothing, it meant that something was bothering him.

“Nothin’. It’s nothin’.” He grumbled before pushing past her and resuming his path along the dusty woodland floor. Jess flapped her hands by her sides in frustration and broke into a jog. Nearing him, she flung a hand out and slapped it across the left wing of his leather vest. He halted and before he could worm his way out, she skirted around him and defiantly blocked his path.

“Tell me.” She demanded.

She saw his throat ripple from a hard swallow and his eyes narrow in annoyance at being forced to speak when he’d opted not to.

“Told ya. S’nothin’.” He rasped. A response was not needed from Jess, she merely raised one eyebrow in disapproval and rested her hands on her hips. He evaluated the look in her eyes; stubbornness combined with concern.

“Fine” He conceded.

Just say it. Tell her you like staying with her and you don’t want to go back to Alexandria.

“I like…bein’ ‘round you.”

She flinched slightly at his comment, her eyes fluttering as she tried to decipher what he was getting at. Was it as simple as he said, or was there more to it?

“I like being around you too.” She replied.

The truth was, he’d been practically living with her for three weeks but he missed her desperately. He missed her kisses and the way she nuzzled at him and closed her eyes. He missed hearing her breathing change when his lips met hers and the way she held onto him like he might disappear. But hurting her was not an option and if he got too close, closer than he was at that point, the risk was too great. He would only have to step away to protect her from his perceived lack of anything to offer in a romantic capacity.

“I’ll tell Rick I’m comin’ back tonight.” He mumbled, lunging out to the side and storming past her.

“No, Daryl-Daryl, I didn’t mean that you had to go right away, or that you have to go at all. I just thought you might be real tired of me by now.”

He stopped and whirled around, striding up to her and stopping inches from her face. To the outside observer, it appeared like the start of a fight because of the shallow breaths from his nose and the angry vibe that surrounded him. Jess blinked in surprise but didn’t back off, holding her ground and bracing herself for an argument. His mind was jumbled, loud and busy and all he was able to do at that point was act on his impulses.

“I ain't never gonna get tired of you.” He growled at her.

Her mouth opened slowly and she blinked again as she tried to muster the courage to question if there was any truth to his statement if he never kissed her anymore but before she could even think straight, he’d spun back around and had vanished into the trees. All that remained was the faint odor of leather that lingered in her nose and made her wish that she could have the chance to smell the leathery, smoky fragrance of Daryl around her all the time, permanently and without having to question if she was good enough to ever feel the same love that she had for him.

~

When he arrived at Alexandria, Jess had followed on around five minutes behind him. Careful to allow him his space to simmer down from whatever had triggered his unpredictable mood. The streets were busy with people filtering out of their homes and setting off to their various jobs and Daryl sauntered along the sidewalk, aiming for the Grimes house when he was forced to stop by Glenn and Maggie, wrapped in an embrace in the middle of the sidewalk.

Glenn, who was playfully peppering Maggie’s cheek with kisses, held her close to his armor-clad body. Going on supply runs meant that he made sure to say a proper goodbye to Maggie. No one could ever be sure they would return from outside the walls but it was preferable not to mention such an unwanted outcome. Instead, enthusiastic farewells were the preferable option and Glenn and Maggie were unashamedly proficient at it.

“Wanna pour some Bisquick when I get back?” Glenn hushed at her.

Someone’s been talkin’ to Abe. Daryl thought.

Maggie shot him a confused look and placed a finger over his lips, silencing him from repeating any more of Abraham's crude sexual references. Daryl squirmed with anxiety and lowered his gaze as he approached the very public display of affection.

“You two ever put each other down?” He remarked, digging around in his vest pocket for his cigarettes.

Glenn turned to him with a wide grin on his face and Maggie stepped back in a haze, linking her fingers with his and holding onto his hand with both of hers.

“Happy wife, happy life.” She chuckled

“Maybe you should try it one day.” Glenn suggested with a slight squint against the sun.

Maggie giggled and gently slapped him on the forearm when she saw Daryl scoff and awkwardly shake his head. He didn’t know anything about romance, and realized that by making a careless, throwaway comment, he had somehow entered himself into the second conversation of the morning that he would rather not have.

“Don’t think so” Daryl mumbled, feeling his face turn warm as Jess wandered past on the other side of the street. He saw her do a small double take in the direction of the laughter from Maggie and Glenn and he deliberately averted his gaze, wary that she could be upset with him after his out of the blue admission in the woods. He hoped that they wouldn’t have to concern themselves with the discomfort of a discussion on the topic, but Daryl was learning that while he was just fine with burying his head in the sand, Jess sought answers and so far, he’d managed to avoid the elephant in the room. But now the elephant's days were numbered.

Glenn turned back to Maggie, tenderly kissing her goodbye and whispering that he loved her. When she left him to cross the street, he sighed happily as he and Daryl watched her join Jess in the pantry doorway. The click of a lighter and the scent of smoke snapped Glenn from his blissful vigil and he glanced to his side at Daryl, who’s vision was planted firmly on Jess as she explained in dramatic detail about how she’d injured her shoulder.

“Not seen you in a while, man.” Glenn pointed out. He’d spotted the top of a crossbow swaying against the light of the horizon from the tower and seen Rick exchange a few words with Daryl at the gate but they were the only two occasions in over two weeks that he could recall seeing Daryl inside the walls.

“Mm?” Daryl grunted, still keeping an eye on Jess. She was circling a hand over her weakened shoulder and motioning to the joint, a gesture which told Daryl that she was relaying the re-setting of the bones.

“Where have you been, Daryl?”

“Oh. Uh. Stayin’ with her.” Was his short response, coupled with a head nudged up in her direction as he exhaled smoke through his nose. “Dislocated her damn shoulder.”

“That’s rough. She alright?” He inquired.

“She’s too stubborn not to be.” He muttered to himself, shifting his weight and sensing that Glenn’s questioning was not quite finished.

“You guys seem… close.” He commented in a deliberately nonchalant tone. It was no secret to anyone that Jess and Daryl had grown close. Conversations were had behind closed doors and speculation was starting to increase among the group. Only a few had been brave enough to broach the subject with Daryl, who was notoriously a lone wolf with a short temper and all but Carol had been firmly ignored. Now, it was Glenn’s turn after he picked up on the strange atmosphere and ramblings of Jess in the room of Records during their residential supply run.

“Not you too. Don’t start with this shit, Glenn” Daryl sighed “You and Abe been sittin’ on the front porch gossipin’ like a couple old biddies drinkin’ tea after church?”

“What? No. Of course not.” Glenn quickly dismissed, covering up the fact that he had indeed spoken to Abraham about Daryl and Jess on more than one occasion before realizing that lying to Daryl was not a wise move. “I mean, we might have mentioned you guys once or twice.”

“Ain't nothin’ to talk about.” Daryl confirmed.

“C’mon, I noticed the weird atmosphere in that record room when we went on that run. You seriously telling me there’s nothing going on between you guys?”

Daryl took a long drag of his smoke and caught eye contact with Jess when Maggie left her to walk into the pantry. She gingerly held up a hand in acknowledgement to him. He mirrored her motion, seeing Glenn wave back eagerly from his peripheral vision. Guilt stung his heart for the untoward way he’d spoken to her in the woods. He was becoming more and more aware that his actions when he was around her were growing more erratic as his feelings for her spiraled into something strong and something that he was facing for the first time in his life.

“She’s fuckin’ awesome. We’re friends.” He finally answered. “Drop it.”

“Okay, man. That’s cool.” Glenn agreed, accepting Daryl’s veiled warning to leave the subject alone. “But y’know, If the walkers have taught me anything, it’s that life is short. There really shouldn’t be anything holding people back from relationships at this point. I mean, if someone had told me when I was still delivering pizzas and playing video games that I’d end up with someone as amazing as Maggie, I’d have laughed in their face. I guess this new life has a way of changing people and how they see you.”

Daryl flicked his cigarette end into the street and looked at Glenn with a baffled expression. Glenn wasn’t the only person to drop hints about his relationship with Jess. He’d faced it from Carol, Carl, Abraham and Rick and was beginning to question why everyone else seemed to be able to understand what he wanted more than he did. If he had his way, he and Jess would be together, outside the walls and away from the chatter and gossip. If he had his way, he would be the man she deserved and would be able to give her the kind of relationship she wanted. But he did not have his way, all he had was the memories of his past, the mistakes he’d made and the constant reminder that he wanted so much more for her. He couldn’t deny that Glenn had a point, people had changed and he’d witnessed it with his own eyes. But to him, he’d remained the same. Unworthy, clueless and not able to make her as happy as he wanted her to be. Such a topic was not favorable to Daryl and especially not out in the open. He huffed incredulously and refused to mimic Glenn’s small and genuine smile.

“What are you, Oprah now or somethin?” He questioned.

“You said you’re friends. You didn’t say you weren’t anything else.” Glenn shrugged as he took a quick glance at Jess.

“Get outta here n’ mind ya damn business” Daryl grumbled with burning cheeks and the urge to move and place himself somewhere he wouldn’t be forced to face the reality of his situation. He stepped off the sidewalk and into the road, picking back up on the path towards The Grimes house and leaving Glenn smirking behind him.

~

Inside the house, Carol was reclined on the couch thumbing through a book she’d picked up from the thrown-together library inside the church. It was a romance novel, typical of her taste and laden with enough cliches and dramatics to transport her into the pages and the realm of escapism that she needed from the harsh and ruthless world.

She sipped on a cold glass of water, grateful for the use of a working tap and never again planning on taking it for granted. On the coffee table, her knife rested, glinting in the sunlight from the window and rarely further than an arms length away from her grasp. She knew they couldn’t be too careful, especially after the town had been compromised in such a bad way. Always being prepared was key for Carol and she had no intentions to be caught off guard any more.

Hearing the front door open, she sighed and resigned herself to the idea that her reading time would be short lived unless she either locked the door or retreated to her bedroom. Footsteps clunked across the wooden flooring and stopped in the doorway. Carol sat up, craning her neck to see behind the couch and finding Daryl leaned against the door frame and fiddling with the leather holster of his knife which hung from his belt. His fingers plucked at the metal popper around the handle, snapping it closed and then open again, over and over. Carol raised her eyebrows at him as she climbed up from the couch and dropped her book on the arm.

“He lives!” she proclaimed. “I take it you’ve been staying with your girl.”

“She ain’t my girl.” He corrected quickly. In one way, she was his girl. His best friend. The only person he truly trusted with anything. But in another way, she was far from his girl and he wished, deep down in his heart that it wasn’t the case.

“Maybe not yet.” Carol muttered time herself as she picked up her glass of water and padded past him. She crossed the hall and entered the kitchen, her boots scuffing along the floor as she lazily dragged her feet.

“Give me a damn break, Carol.” Daryl complained while following after her. “ What the hell is wrong with everybody, anyways? I just had all this from Glenn. Can’t walk through the damn gate without somebody firing questions at me.”

She held her hands up in surrender and selected a mug from the cupboard. From the coffee pot, the poured the dark, steaming liquid into the mug and handed it to him. He watched her as she shuffled past him and settled on a stool at the kitchen island. He sipped the drink, almost able to feel the caffeine enter his veins, lighting up his body with energy. He turned, leaving the island and stalked over to the window, moving the drapes and keeping his eyes on Jess as she talked animatedly to Abraham and laughed happily.

Carol reached across the counter top and dragged a small, wicker box and a jacket towards her. She opened up the box and took out a sewing needle and black thread, effortlessly threading the needle and setting to work sewing up a hole in the seam of Ricks, fur-collared jacket. Her eyes moved up to Daryl intermittently and it became obvious what had garnered his attention through the window. Daryl was a quiet soul by all accounts, never one for rambling or mindless chit chat, but he did speak to Carol more than most and on that particular morning, he was quieter than ever. As the seconds ticked by and the hole in the jackets seam shrunk as a result of Carol’s sewing skill, he lingered by the window, slowly sipping his coffee with a blank expression.

“You okay? You’re normally quiet but this is unsettling.” Carol mentioned.

He briefly looked at her. A fleeting, split second glance over his shoulder.

“M’fine.”

He wasn’t fine, Carol could sense it. Call it woman’s intuition or just a vast knowledge of the complexities of Daryl’s character, but she knew that he was far from okay. He was preoccupied, pensive and somewhat deflated.

“You can tell me.” She reminded him in a blasé tone and turned her attention back to her sewing. She knotted the thread and tugged on the fabric either side of the stitches. It would hold fast and Rick would not have to lose the collar of his jacket. Satisfied with her efforts, she tidied away the needle and thread back into the box and folded the garment..

“I know.” Daryl responded softy. He knew Carol would always be there for him as someone to lean on and someone that understood him. Aside from Jess, she was the closest person to him and had shown him the importance of acknowledging his emotions.

“How is her shoulder?” She asked.

“Almost healed.” He grunted, lifting a hand and pushing the blind apart with his fingers to create a hole in which he could get a better view of Jess.

“So, why are you watching her as if she will shatter into a million pieces?” Carol questioned, now staring right at him with a stern expression. Daryl did a small double-take at her and suddenly felt exposed and caught out.

“I ain’t” He mumbled, moving away from the window and sitting down opposite her.

She waited patiently for him to speak, knowing it would happen sooner or later. She could almost see the load on his mind weighing him down. He fidgeted in his seat and sipped his coffee again before biting his lip.

“I dunno what the hell I’m doin’.” He admitted. They locked eyes and he could tell that she was full of sympathy and concern at his sad and overwhelmed voice. He was opening up and she adopted a calm and still presence so as not to scare him back into his silence.

“Can fight, can hunt, can tell good folks from bad ones.” He started. He was looking right at her, a desperate hope that she could follow what he was saying. “Can’t fuckin’ figure out what the hell is goin’ on in my own damn head.”

Carol pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side, lightly patting his hand which rested on the countertop.

“You have to ask yourself what it is that you really want.” She advised.

Daryl shifted and cleared his throat before rubbing at his eyes and growling low in his throat with frustration.

“Y’know what? Just forget I said anythin’.”

His walls were going back up and Carol felt momentarily powerless to stop them for fear of angering him, but she couldn’t abandon hope altogether and decided to shove aside her reservations and continue trying to extract the truth.

“What do you want, Daryl?” She asked directly.

Finding himself backed into a corner and unable to figure out a way to escape such a straight question, his eyes locked with hers. He knew better than to think she would announce anything he told her from the rooftops. His trust in her was unwavering, but discussing such a topic had never been on his radar before and confessing such a personal and real truth made his palms sweat and his chest hum with nerves. He knew exactly what he wanted and it had taken a fight in his own head to come to that conclusion. Admitting it out loud was a new battle altogether.

“Her.” He whispered “I want her.”

Once again, Carol reached out and touched his hand, covering it with her fingers and smiling warmly at him. In his life, Daryl had never experienced the comforting assurance of a good friend, let alone a female and he felt as though he’d reached a turning point by answering her question at all, let alone with something so private. He never remembered enough about his own mother to know if she was as caring and invested in his happiness as Carol was. But Merle had given him the impression that delivering bottles of wine to her bed was the about the extent of their relationship. He wondered if this was what he’d been missing out on for so many years, if he would have found his teenage years and time following his brother like a sheep any easier if he’d been encouraged to express himself in ways other than violence and mischief.

“You need to tell her” She urged, keeping her hand where it was and giving it a slight squeeze. He looked down at where their hands connected and closed his eyes for a moment. A myriad of flashbacks flickered through his memory. Drinking, drugs, robberies, fights, arrests. The abuse. The tormenting, harrowing, haunting abuse. The scars. It was out of the question; he could never tell her.

“I can’t.” He croaked.

“Why not?” She pressed with a short disbelieving huff.

“It’s complicated.” He told her. He took his hand away and let out a long exhalation.

“You think she doesn’t like you that way?”

He caught her eye again, unsure whether to proceed in telling her that he was well aware of Jess’s interest in him and that no matter how much she liked him, he was unwavering sure that he would only end up hurting her. He didn’t know how to be with someone in that way, didn’t know how to be one half of a whole and above all else, when he faced his deepest thoughts, he couldn’t even say that he believed in love at all. But Carol was staring at him with pleading eyes, desperate for him to just say what he was thinking and he’d got that far, it didn’t make sense for him to give up now.

“She likes me.” He disclosed “I uh… I know she likes me”

“She told you that?” She queried quickly and trying not to sound too surprised. It wasn’t a secret to Carol that Jess’s affection for Daryl far surpassed that of a friendship, but to hear him say it filled her heart with joy at the prospect of some actual potential.

“Overheard her talkin’ to Aaron.” He said.

Carol grinned unashamedly. There it was, finally. “I can’t say I’m surprised. It’s obvious you’re her favorite thing.” She beamed.

“Nah, she’s lost her mind. She shouldn’t like me.” He dismissed.

“Daryl, the only thing that matters is that you’re both happy when you’re together. She’s changed you. Brought you out of your shell. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if she hadn’t managed to knock down a couple of those walls you put up to stop anybody getting close to you.” She explained with a strong confidence that what she was telling him was right and that he needed to hear it.

He nervously scratched at the back of his neck. “I can't do this stuff, Carol. Women. This ‘feelings’ bullshit.”

“Just be honest with her. That’s all you need to do.” She reiterated.

“I want…” he rasped before pausing to stand up, signalling that he was more or less done with the conversation. “...I just want better for her.”

“Better? What do you mean, better?” She challenged.

His chin quivered as he chewed his bottom lip and tapped a finger on the counter a few times, pondering over how difficult it felt to express something so personal.

“Better than me.” He uttered.

Carol also stood up, placing her hand flat on the counter top in front of her and leaning closer to him. She’d had enough, she certainly didn’t see him as not good enough for anyone and he was going to listen to her if he liked what she had to say or not.

“Listen to me. You’re a good man. You’re just as good as Rick and Glenn and Abraham and anybody else. Just as good. You’re not who you were.” She affirmed with a reasonably loud thud of her hand every time the word ‘good’ left her lips.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” He shrugged.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her frustration to stay below the surface and drew in a deep breath.

“We all bleed the same color, Daryl. You have her blood in your veins, pumping through your heart. She is a part of you.” She continued. She opened her mouth to speak again but stopped when she noticed Daryl’s confused expression.

“What?” He questioned, baffled by her comments. “What are ya talkin’ ‘bout?”

“When she gave you blood to save your life. After that bastard shot you.” She reminded him.

He blinked in surprise and his eyes searched her face for any hint that it might be a twisted joke or her information was incorrect. But she stood firm and not a single thing about her demeanor told him that what he’d just heard was untrue.

“When she did what?” He asked.

Carol recoiled, taking a step back and bringing a hand to her mouth as if to stop herself from disclosing anything else that he didn’t know.

“I thought you knew. I thought she told you. I thought everybody knew. How did you not know?” she rambled.

“She ain’t told me nothin’. What the fuck?” he demanded, his face now fixed into a look of pure shock and bewilderment.

“Ah. Okay. Um.” She stuttered before shaking her head quickly and trying to gather her thoughts. She could only guess that there was a reason Jess had not mentioned it to him and began to fret that she’d opened a can of worms that Jess was trying to keep closed. “You almost bled to death. Denise and Rick…they didn’t know your blood type. Jess said she was O negative, compatible with most blood types. So, she donated blood to you until she almost passed out. She saved your life.”

Daryl’s mouth dropped open and he slowly moved back, away from the counter until his back thudded against the wall behind him. He smoothed a hand down his face and searched the floor with his eyes while his mind cast back to the days after he’d been shot, to all the opportunities she had to tell him, but didn’t. It was something he’d wanted to know, something he needed to know and he just couldn’t fathom why she would want to keep such an important thing to herself. He began to regret being so dismissive of Denise too, ruling out any opportunities for her to disclose what had transpired while he was unconscious. His body filled with dread; why did Jess keep it from him?

“She never told me” He sighed.

Carol rounded the Kitchen island and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. She gave it a slight squeeze and caught his eye, forcing him to lift his dipped head and witness her broad smile.

“Now you know how important you are to her.”

~

The fairground grass was getting long enough to obscure Jess’s feet and knees when she waded through it while checking her fences. The calming sway of the green blades in the breeze and the soft rustling as she meandered through the open spaces was one of the more favored parts of her day. The chance to take stock of the little things. If it wasn’t for the pestering of the odd Walker pressing itself into the diamond shaped fencing and dropping coagulated blood onto the metal barrier, she would have thought it wasn’t far from a normal, perfect, summer's day. She clunked her knife along the metal as she walked, sending a loud, abrasive sound travelling along the chain link and alerting the attention of two Walkers ahead. They paused their swaying and wheezing for a moment, like dogs caught by a high-pitched noise and soon, they were trundling towards her and reaching out at their unfazed and well, equipped prey. Jess positioned herself close to the fence, wincing in disgust when the two undead threw themselves at her. Skin ripped and rotting, a putrid odor and a deep, bubbling of mucus and blood in their chests. With her knife, she used the diamond gaps to eliminate the threats. One through the eye and the other through an already pre-existing hole in the side of its skull. They dropped to the ground, one slumping over the other and Jess backed away, sheathing her knife and making her way to the Ferris wheel.

The twinges in her shoulder were less persistent and the dull ache that had initially made her nauseous was now a thing of the past. Thanks to Daryl’s much loathed physio book and his watchful eye, she had made a decent enough recovery to be able to look after her own property again. But she was yet to be faced with a situation that meant her muscles and tendons were put under strain and she hoped that until she could build her strength back up, she wouldn’t have to be.

She flicked through her book with her legs outstretched and her back popped up against the control box to the Ferris wheel. The sun beat down on her head, warming her scalp and threatening to burn her nose, but she enjoyed it, basking in the warm glow of the sun and locating the folded, bookmarked page in her novel. She was disturbed when the bell rang at the gate and swung her legs from the platform. She trudged through the grass and to the path, raising a hand and waving at Daryl on the other side of the gate.

The hinges creaked loudly with the movement as she tugged the gate open and let Daryl inside. He appeared nervous and uncomfortable, with his hands firmly clamped around the strap of his crossbow at his shoulder. She clanked the gate shut and secured the lock, noticing immediately that he didn’t seem to be quite himself.

“You got a minute?” He requested.

“For you?”

“Mmhmm”

“I always have several minutes for you.” She chirped with a shrug of one shoulder. She paced over to the Ferris Wheel and he followed along behind her until she halted and turned back to him. He noted her casual attire; a T-shirt, jeans and a hoodie. She wasn’t planning on leaving her compound and that, Daryl considered, meant he’d chosen a good time to address a tricky subject. A long and heavy pause meant that her eyes widened in expectation and she pushed her lips into a thin line. His boot tapped on the gravel and his vision scanned the ground. He hoped she couldn’t see him summoning the courage to talk but he felt more exposed and readable than he’d ever felt before.

“Think we should talk.” He rasped.

She almost missed it. A rare, hushed and surprising comment that she’d not heard from Daryl before and as the words echoed in her head, her heart started to race and her body was suddenly awash with nerves.

“Oh… You-you do?” She asked without thinking.

For as long as she’d known him, he’d never been the one to request to talk to her in such a way and it was telling. Jumping to the first conclusion she created, she assumed something was very, very wrong.

“Sure. Are you okay?” She questioned. Her tone was upbeat but even she could her the slight tremor in her voice.

“Mmhm. Just… confused.”

“Why?”

“Things have been kinda weird between us.” He admitted, finally making eye contact and hoping that he could deliver his point without actually having to say the words. Words that he wasn’t even sure he could choose wisely anyway due to being so out of his depth, he was quite literally just winging it. Far from wanting to overwhelm the both of them with the disclosure that he now knew she’d sacrificed her own blood to save his life, he decided that one precarious topic was enough for one day and he would need time to think over the monumental and selfless act that she had committed to make sure that he still existed. “Think ya know what I’m getting’ at here.”

“I do?” She squeaked.

“The uh, the record room. In that house. What we did.” He dropped his hands and a whoosh of breath left his lungs and for the first time ever, Jess saw a flicker of fear on his face. “and the times before that.”

Am I dreaming this? He’s actually bringing this up?! I thought I was going to have to take this uncertainty to the damn grave.

“Oh. Uh. Yeah.” She agreed as casually as possible but when her voice replayed back in her memory, she sounded more like she wanted to run away and hide from the reality of it all. She’d gone from desperately needing to know where she stood, to being terrified of how real discussing things made it feel.

“I guess we should try n’ figure this out.” Daryl suggested.

All at once, Jess remembered the past three weeks in which he had attended to her every need and practically wrapped her in an impenetrable, invisible safety blanket. But also, how he’d kept his distance. He’d held her hand and slept close to her, even let her snuggle against him every now and then but he had not made one, single attempt to kiss her again. She remembered waking next to him one morning, he was facing her with his cheek illuminated by the thin ray of light through the gap in the blacked-out window. He was sleeping peacefully with her hand enveloped in his and curled against the bare skin of his chest where the top of his shirt was unbuttoned. She fought with all her might not to lean down and kiss him awake. The fear of his rejection was too great for her to act on her desire.

“But you haven’t kissed me in three weeks. I thought that was done.” She expressed.

I am far from done with you, girl. I wish I never had to be.

“Was ‘cause of me that ya fucked up ya shoulder.” He replied “Thought I should leave ya be.”

“Oh.” She heaved in a jagged and nervous breath “I don’t blame you for my shoulder. Was my own stupid fault. I thought...” she stopped herself, reluctant to tell him the real reason she’d pinned on his inaction.

“You thought what?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She whispered, trying to brush it aside to avoid telling him the embarrassing truth. His expression changed and before she knew it, he was looking right at her face with pleading eyes, urging her to give him a break and work with him.

“C’mon, Jess. I’m tryin’ here. It does matter.” He pleaded.

“You’re right” She agreed with a nod. “I thought you stopped kissing me because you… because you didn’t like what you saw that evening. The shoulder thing. The clean-up. You, cleaning me up.”

Ugh. She thought. This is embarrassing.

He closed his eyes and sighed, horrified that she would believe such a thing. He wanted to tell her that his priority that day was her recovery, that he wasn’t using it as a chance to ogle her or treat her like she was an object and that if anything, despite his valiant attempt to remain detached from any kind of sexual feelings towards her, he would be lying if he said he didn’t think she was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

“That ain’t true.” He replied quietly but sincerely. “Hell, I wouldn’t- I don’t… uh…that ain’t true, at all. Alright? I don’t want ya to think that. M’sorry ‘bout this mornin’ too. How I was… in the woods. You were talkin’ bout me not havin’ to stay with ya no more n’ I guess I just- I just didn’t like the sound of that. It’s been good, bein’ so… close… to you.”

Well, I’ll be a bitch. He doesn’t find me repulsive? He likes being close…to me? No, the guy has definitely hit his head or eaten some questionable mushrooms.

Jess was floored and had evidently lost control of her facial features and her expression. She thought she probably looked a little like a startled rabbit but cared little for such a triviality when she’d been given the precious gift of Daryl’s rare and weighty honesty.

“I didn’t mean I wanted you to leave. I don’t. I don’t want that.” She assured him. The last thing she’d wanted was for him to leave and her comments had been born mainly from worrying that he was getting tired of her and needed his own space.

“Ahh fuck.” He cursed to himself. “I’m not good at this shit.”

“Makes two of us” She smiled.

He risked moving closer to her. Close enough to graze her fingers at her side with his. His touch didn’t linger but the sensation did and her skin sparkled with the want for more. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, took a deep breath and released it.

“Kinda miss ya” he confessed.

Jess’s eyebrows pinched together and she narrowed her eyes. He’d been with her for a large proportion of the time for three weeks. How on earth could he possibly miss her?

“I’m right here.” She chuckled nervously “You’ve been living with me for three weeks, dummy. I don’t understand.”

Moving closer still and with the echo of her shy laugh in his head he brushed her hair back from her shoulder before gently feeling over her cheek with his fingertips.

Daryl knew he had to amp up his bravery and so far, the conversation had gone far better than he could have hoped. She had been receptive, non-judgemental and hadn’t flinched in annoyance at his difficulty with expressing himself. He trusted her beyond measure and in that moment, he was certain that he always would.

“Don’t mean like that” He told her, stopping short of spelling it out to her.

She didn’t need to question his statement; it was now obvious to her what he really meant and she felt herself melt at how gentle and forthright he’d been. He was treating her like a fragile, precious piece of glass that could crack at any moment but was his prized possession.

“It ain’t done. Whatever it is. Not unless ya want it to be.” He confirmed.

“You scare me a little” She blurted out of nowhere. She couldn’t even pinpoint when the idea had entered her head.

“Why?”

Because you’re everything to me. Because you’re smart and courageous and selfless. Because you’re a total fucking dreamboat. Because you’re gentle and caring. Because you know I’m a little weird and hang out with me anyway. Because you literally make me weak when you kiss me. Because I know you want to touch me and I really want to let you. Because I am so in love with you, Daryl.

“You make me feel something I haven’t felt before. You make me feel like it’s a good thing to be me.” She replied.

“It is, Jess.” He said with a small smile and a sparkle in his eye.

There she had it, he wasn’t horrified by what he saw the day she dislocated her shoulder, he didn’t find her annoying or a burden and he hadn’t changed his mind. He was telling her, in the only roundabout way he knew how, that he wanted to keep kissing her, if she would let him.

“I-I miss you too” She disclosed with a shaky voice.

He smiled briefly and his eyes fluttered as he leaned down to her, brushing his hand over the side of her face and bringing her lips to his. It was like the first sprinkling of rain during a drought, long awaited and needed. She heard him gasp when his lips left hers transiently and came back for more, with more pressure the second time around, more craving and a sense of built up anticipation that she could feel dispelling form his very being as he kept one hand on her face and slid the other under the elastic hem of her hoodie, spreading his hand out over her hip.

~

Branches and leaves whipped against Carl’s face as he sprinted through the woods, desperately hoping he was on the right path and telling himself that if he just kept running, he would eventually find what he was looking for. His chest was burning and his feet were pounding so hard on the uneven ground that they felt like they were made from cement. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he pressed on, running as fast as he could.

In the distance, he could see fencing and finally, his mind surged with relief and an involuntary whimper emerged from his lips. Finally, he’d reached his destination with his veins pumping with adrenaline and his nerves alight with panic. He surged forwards, racing towards the gate and catching his foot on a fallen branch. He stumbled but regained his footing and carried on until his body was slammed against the gate, creating a shockwave that rattled along the entirety of the fencing.

Inside the fence, he could see the dirty angel wings of Daryl’s back through the brightly coloured, chipping paint of the Ferris Wheel. In front of him, he could just about make out that Jess was standing in front of him. Close to him and neither of them were speaking. Carl squinted and laced his fingers into the metal grid of the fence.

“Guys?!” He called out “Jess? Daryl?”

 Daryl pulled away from Jess’s lips, listening intently to what he thought was a voice on the wind but he’d been so wrapped up in what was becoming a moderately amorous tryst that he’d almost ignored the sound altogether.

“You hear that?” He asked Jess who was blinking up at him with reddened lips and in a complete daze.

“Hear what?” She croaked.

Daryl listened again, turning his head to the side and scanning the area. Although he saw nothing, his gut was telling him he was missing something and so, he waited a few more seconds.

“Guys! Help!” Carl yelled at the top of his voice, now slapping his hands on the fence. “She’s gone!”

Daryl turned to the gate, seeing Carl rattling the barrier and yelling at them. It was an automatic reaction that was without thought, but he grabbed Jess’s hand and yanked her along with him as he ran to the path and towards the panicked teenager.

“Carl? Who’s gone?” He called to him from a few feet away. Jess stumbled over her boots both from the surprise of Carl's arrive and potentially being caught kissing Daryl and from her hand being clamped in his as he dragged her to the gate.

“Enid! They took her! They took her! I tried, I tried to follow them. They-they were too fast and there were too many. I-I couldn’t!” He babbled

“What?! Who?!” Jess demanded, now standing beside Daryl and still absent-mindedly holding his hand. Neither of them seemed to be aware that their hands were still entwined and it wasn’t until Jess’s palm grew warm that she glanced down and quickly tore her fingers from his grasp. A flash of worry crossed his features at his thoughtlessness and they both focused their attention on Carl.

“The men that attacked Alexandria. They-they looked like part of the same group. They took her. They just came out of nowhere. From the trees and took her. I-I couldn’t stop them” He explained.

“Oh my god.” Jess muttered worriedly under her breath. Noticing a red mark that was rapidly becoming darker on Carl's cheekbone, signalling that he’d been hit. Her temper rapidly raged from the pit of her stomach and she grit her teeth and inhaled through her nose.

“Go tell Deanna.” Daryl told her before stepping closer to the gate and opening it up for Carl. “What way did they go?” He asked him.

“North, up to the highway, I’m not sure from there. I couldn’t keep up. I lost them. I tried, Daryl.”

His eyes filled with tears but Jess could tell he was managing to hold them back enough to stop them from spilling down his cheeks. Now wasn’t the time to cry, now was the time for action and Carl knew that more than any of the other teenagers back at Alexandria. He’d been through more than them, endured things that such a young soul should never have to shoulder. Carl was resilient and brave and she knew then that her and Daryl had their work cut out in trying to convince him to stay behind while they went out to look for Enid.

“I know, man. I know you did everything you could. You did the right thing comin’ to get us.” Daryl cooed, resting a hand on his shoulder and shaking it slightly “Were they on foot?”

“At first” he nodded quickly “Then they got in a truck. They left tire marks.”

“Alright. Jess, go tell Deanna.” He repeated, much to her annoyance.

“Uh…no?” She challenged “I’m going with you.”

“Are you fuckin’ crazy?” He stepped closer to her and turned her around with a hand on her arm to block Carl hearing him. “You forgotten what they are? What they did to you? What they do to women?”

Her dreams hadn’t let her forget. The persistent nightmares only kept at bay by the safety and comfort of Daryl’s presence. The sight of Aaron and Eric’s kitchen was a constant reminder, as was the scar on the back of her head which was still tender to the touch even then. She most definitely hadn’t forgotten and it was for that reason that she had to do everything in her power to rescue the troubled girl that wandered the woods from a fate worse than death.

“Not for a single second. But I've been looking out for that girl since I got here and I’m not about to abandon her now. So, I’m going with her if you say so or not.”

Daryl quickly took a glimpse at Carl who was nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other but still managing to appear fascinated by the closeness of the two people in front of him.

“Jess…what they tried to do to you last time… I can’t let that happen to ya. I won’t.” He pressed. The thought of her being anywhere near the group that hurt her so badly and had intentions to subject her to worse filled his heart with a fraught sense of discomfort and he swore to himself on that day that if anyone was to try to hurt her again he would not hesitate to destroy them.

“So, don’t.” She shrugged, terrified at her own determination and sheer grit.

~

Jess volunteered to take Carl to Alexandria while Daryl began tracking the mass of scuffed footprints through the woods and up to the highway until Jess managed to spot him emerging from the trees between deep and obvious skidded tracks that led onto the road. She stopped the car and he climbed in, shooting her an unimpressed look at her determination to tag along. Jess hadn’t disclosed what had happened to anyone inside the walls, mainly due to lack of time and focusing on running through the gate, telling Carl to go home and sprinting to Deanna’s house in order to pick up some keys. She found the house to be empty and so, helped herself before racing across the street to the armory to collect two guns, jumping back into the truck and speeding away from the town.

With the windows wound down and her head full of horrendous possible outcomes, Jess struggled to listen to Daryl as he lay out his opinion on what route they should take while smoothing a map over the dash. After asking him to repeat himself twice, he simply told her to stay on the same road until he told her to change direction.

Hours seemed to pass but the light never dwindled and Jess could only conclude that it only felt like so much time had passed when really, they’d been on the road for no more than an hour. She tried to focus, tried to push aside her fretting over what could possibly befall Enid if they didn’t find her. Daryl was eagerly watching the road and the trees on either side for signs of a possible ambush, but as they pressed on, he noticed nothing untoward.

A noise from the back of the vehicle soon stirred Jess from her anxious train of thought and she looked over at Daryl, who had evidently heard it too. He checked the backseat and the footwells and gave her a confused look. She shrugged and expressed that it was probably something rolling around in the trunk that she hadn’t bothered to check on their way out. She’d been in such a rush that all she could think about was obtaining a vehicle and weapons.

But then, it happened again. Clunk. Clunk. Bump. They both looked at each other again and Jess eased her foot off the accelerator.

“That ain't nothin’ rollin around. That’s somethin’ movin’.” Daryl rasped as he leaned through the gap in the seats and turned his ear to the sound.

Without a warning, the rear seat hatch sprang open and smacked on the leather seat surface.

“WHAT THE?!” Daryl shouted as he flung himself backwards in shock, hitting the vehicle’s radio and filling the cab with loud country music. Jess, also startled by the out of the blue occurrence, gripped the steering wheel and used all her focus to bring the truck back under control after it was sent swerving from one side of the road to the other. Her hands scattered frantically over the small levers either side of the steering wheel and in her terror, she began to flick them up and down. The indicators flashed and the windscreen wipers screeched across the dry glass. Johnny Cash blared from the speakers and if Jess wasn’t too busy trying to keep the vehicle under control at the same time and pushing her ear to her shoulder to muffle the music she would have been concerned with how many Walkers they were now attracting.

“Holy fuckin’ mackerel what is going on?! What is that?! Turn that shit down! Oh my god, my fucking ears! I’m going deaf!” Jess yelled.

Daryl scrambled about, hitting the radio over and over until the music finally stopped and he was able to turn back around to investigate the reason the hatch had slammed open and almost caused a crash. His eyes widened and his lips parted when he saw Carl hanging through the hatch, covered in sweat and gasping for air.

“You gotta be kidding me right now” He growled.

In the rear-view mirror, Jess stared in astonishment at the sight of Carl struggling to pull himself through the backseat.

“Is that-is that Carl?! Tell me that is not Carl! Daryl?!” Jess screeched.

“It’s Carl.”

“It’s Carl?! What the fuck is Carl doing in the trunk?”

“How the hell do I know?!”

“The kid is in the fucking trunk, Daryl!”

“I know”

“The kid is in the trunk, it’s like a thousand degrees outside and the kid is in the trunk!”

“I know.”

“This cannot be happening! He’s in the fucking trunk! He could have died!”

“I FUCKING KNOW, JESS!” He bellowed at her, rendering her silent but still reeling from the idea that Rick’s son had most probably stowed away while she wasn’t looking, meaning they would all have some serious explaining to do once Rick found out. 

“C’mon” Daryl urged as he took hold of Carl's gangly arms and hoisted him through the hatch. His sheriffs hat caught on the plastic clip of the hole and once he was upright on the seat, he reached inside to retrieve it, placing it on his head to cover his sweat soaked hair. His once white T-shirt was now a light shade of grey from the perspiration and his cheeks were burning red. His breathing was settling and he wound down the window beside him, saying nothing and appearing highly disturbed.

“Hooooooh buddy are you in a whole lotta trouble right now.” Jess chuckled in a sinister tone. She guided the car to the side of the road and hit the brakes. Jumping out from the drivers side , she slammed the door and sent a careless crash of a noise filtering through the trees. Daryl followed suit but didn’t bother to shut the door on his side, he figured Jess had just made enough noise for the both of them.

“Rick is gonna lose his marbles when he finds out you’re gone, Carl.” Daryl told him as he opened the backseat door. Carl swung his legs out but stayed where he was, the thought of standing in the sun being a lot less appealing that it normally would have been.

“Shit in my mouth and call it a sundae!” Jess raged, stamping her boot on the road's surface. “You are dumber than a box of rocks!”

“I’m sorry” Carl croaked.

“Hey, Jess-” Daryl tried to cut in in order to calm her down.

“-NO!” She shot back at him with a point of her finger before turning back to Carl “Can you not feel how hot it is today?! You almost roasted your damn self to death in there! You scared the shit out of both of us!”

“I wasn’t scared.” Daryl mumbled as he lit a smoke and wandered into the middle of the road.

Jess whirled around and glared at him with fury.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but you were the one that started the Johnny Cash show in there and damn near burst my eardrums!” She cried.

“Was just surprised…s’all.” He shrugged “You’re the one that done turned it into the fuckin’ disco car”

The irate look on her face was hard to ignore and Daryl did little to hide the fact that he found it incredibly amusing when she lost her temper in this way. She bit her tongue and opted to back off, it wasn’t Daryl she was mad at, after all.

Carl sighed and wiped at his face, his eyes stung with the salty sweat and he wanted nothing more than a cold shower or a swimming pool and a popsicle at that moment in time. Jess leaned against the side of the car next to him and tried to get her temper under control.

“I can help. I want to help.” Carl said, sounding exhausted.

“Carl, since you arrived at Alexandria you’ve been given one task; stay inside the house when there’s trouble. To this day, you have not managed that and you were just re-born though the back seat of a car because you were stupid enough to lock yourself in there, not only on a real hot day but on a rescue mission you are not supposed to be a part of. You do not get a say, okay?!” She explained.

Daryl walked back from the center of the road and rested a hand on his hip while he took a drag of his cigarette and studied Carl.

“We ain’t got time to take him back.” He stated with a glance at Jess.

“Then let’s just leave him here and claim ignorance.” She replied casually.

As much as he wanted to laugh, he simply raised one eyebrow and held back a smile. Her amusing take on anger and her way of wording things was unique and he hoped she never lost it.

“Jess.” He warned.

“I’m kidding.” She scoffed. “Sorta. We’ll have to take him with us.”

Daryl leaned on the open door of the vehicle and dipped his head, catching Carl's eye and encouraging him to lift his head so he could see his face. His cheeks were regaining their usual color and he was seemingly recovering from his time in the tin box of heat.

“You stay in the car n’ do as we say or you’ll get us all killed, you hearin’ me?” He questioned firmly.

“Yeah, OK.” Carl nodded. Even if he wanted to protest, he didn’t have the energy at that point. Hearing a low growl in Daryl’s throat, he gathered quite rapidly that the archer, his father’s best friend and one of the people his entire group looked to for protection, was quite unimpressed by his actions.

“I could tan your hide for this, man. She’s hysterical…” He motioned to Jess with the wave of a hand in her direction “…but she’s right. This was stupid and dangerous”

Carl’s face changed and a certain boldness crept across his features. He took a quick peep at Jess before blinking up at Daryl.

“You’d do it.” He said clearly.

“What?” Daryl asked.

“If it was Jess that got taken. You’d do the same. You really like her.” He declared.

Daryl felt his chest constrict and his breath catch in his throat. He almost didn’t want to check Jess’s reaction because of the heavy awkwardness of it all. In a split second, Carl had managed to switch the atmosphere with just one simple sentence. But Jess had heard every word and quickly decided to remove herself from the situation. It was all she could do to stop the raging embarrassment that was threatening to expose itself across her cheeks.

“I’m just going to take a walk. Check out the…scenery” She said nervously as she pointed to the line of darkened trees opposite. For miles, both sides of the road were the exact same and there really wasn’t much to look at but Jess was determined to put distance in between herself and Daryl and Carl. She pretended she couldn’t hear them as she walked away. Unbeknownst to them, she could decipher most of their conversation.

“You don’t know nothin’ ‘bout that.” Daryl told Carl as he checked on Jess to find her pacing about and tapping her thigh with her fingers.

“I know you got shot trying to save her.” He mentioned.

“We ain’t talkin’ ‘bout me, we’re talkin’ ‘bout you. Focus.” He told him, tapping his own temple to ram the point home.

“But it’s the same thing.” Carl countered, set in his decision to make Daryl see that there was very little difference in Jess being kidnapped or Enid being kidnapped. The result would be the same. “You’d want to go and find Jess if she was kidnapped.”

He couldn’t lie. Daryl was never one for lies and especially not to an impressionable teenager. With Carl waiting for a response, Jess hovering nearby and the clock ticking away the chances of rescuing Enid, he took a deep breath.

“Yeah, alright. I would.” He admitted. “I get it, okay? You like her and ya can’t stand the thought of her gettin’ hurt. You’re gonna have to come with us but you're stayin' in this car. You good with that?”

“Yeah. I’m good with that.” Carl agreed.

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tagging as requested: @lilred254​ @woundmetender​ @lonewolf471​

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