#more about this au is coming if anyone wants!

[willyoubemycherryy]

Intimacy Cues (C. Kent)

Summary: Who better to teach you how to talk body when you never learned the language?

Contains: smut AND plot so it’s long,depressing past, the college au you all secretly needed, struggles with physical touch, struggles with any form of intimacy, one mild panic attack, Clark is understanding but hot, dumb ideas, hugging, bonding, kissing, making out, it starts off shaky then soft but quickly snowballs into horn-e central, size kink, slight dumbification, strength kink, first kisses, virginity kept but not for long just give me till the second part, Clark is a little infatuated, they’re so nasty about each other my word, grinding, kissing (no forreal), prayer bc we all need it

A/N- my stomach is fine, it wasn’t a tumor but a blockage because of something I ate that never digested, causing my tummy to bloat and swell but they fixed me up so I’m back😈

. .* ੈ✩‧₊•

“Nononono- no, stop!!”

This might be the worst decision of your entire life.

Clark pulls away again, looking down at you with his eyebrows drawn together in concern but also exasperation because-

“Hey! It’s okay- you’re okay. Remember…you were the one who asked for my help.” He didn’t say the obvious “but we’re not getting any farther” part out loud but it echoes through your head all the same and you breathe out a deep sigh; regretting it with the depths of your very being but, yes. You did ask him for his help.

Help with what? The answer would’ve ended your social life if anyone who wasn’t Clark had found out.

You needed his help with…closeness- intimacy.

Growing up you were always awkward. Not in a charming way or even unconventional, you just simply didn’t make the cut based by society’s standards. You were always too gangly, too weird, too timid; so imagine the surprise come middle of highschool to now college where you’ve finally grown into yourself.

You know how you like to dress and which clothes look hottest on you, you know what hairstyle suits best for your face shape, you’re still weird but you’re also sarcastic which somehow equals charm to people and you’ve also managed to come out of your shell a bit. Becoming more confident from people naturally gravitating towards you after your blooming stage and even more after letting your friends convince you to join your college’s cheerleading team. You’d become everything you wanted to always try.

Pretty, popular, and fun. The problem?

Thanks to how much of a late bloomer you were, you never got the chance to get comfortable with others intimately during your formative years. Nobody liked you in that way and you were terrified of embarrassing yourself so there was nothing. No first kiss, no first dance with a boy, hell- even now you still get uneasy when others stare at you too long. Hiding behind your image as a college sweetheart made everything you were still to unsettled to try easier. Don’t misunderstand; it wasn’t that you never wanted those things, it’s that you’re not used to others suddenly picking you for those kinds of things after being invisible and missing out on them for almost all your life to the point where you don’t know how to deal with it when those moments do happen.

Still, you acted like everything was fine.

Playing the role of pretty cheerleader- the flirty tease that was favored by many even though that favor was shallow as a tear on a hot day. You pretended. And it was working, nobody knew…or so you believed.

Cue to one of the football teams parties where you’d been flirting with a guy, coy smile painted on your face as you giggled softly whenever he spoke, batting your pretty eyes at him in your little mini skirt. It had been going well until he suddenly leaned closer, focusing solely on you and when you felt the heat of his skin from how close he was- it felt as if the color had drained from your face, leaving you frozen as you became so uncomfortable it was visible; nerves screaming at you to flee until you listened. Spinning on your heels and bolting, trying to calm your breathing enough to will the cotton out of your ears.

You didn’t realize it then but a certain pair of blue eyes had been watching the whole thing. He’s always seen you. Which is funny because you almost always actively avoid him. In fact, he’s seen you enough to know that this isn’t the first time you’ve had that reaction and one day after a particularly rough week of endless pondering over you; he decides to just ask you after practice is over. Clark waits until his and your friends leave, it being only you and him on the field when he starts to walk over to you. The sound of incoming footsteps make you look up and when you see him, he can hear the very second your heart stops; skipping a beat before it quickly begins to thrum out of rhythm.

Honestly, there genuinely are not enough words to describe how attractive Clark Kent was. He was so incomprehensibly beautiful that you avoided Clark altogether just to avoid getting a headache from staring at him for too long especially since the real suffering started when he’d smile. Seemingly perfect pearly white straight teeth but when his grin broadened, his sharp canines would show, leaving you breathless every time. The type of good looking that was flat out overwhelming. Besides being apart of adjacent stereotypes, you two didn’t go together but there was no animosity.

Clark stops and you have to look up at him because of his hulking size. At almost 6’4 he nearly dwarfed you and his proportions matched. Thick, beefy everything- everywhere and you swallow before forcing a smile on your face. While you preferred to avoid him for the sake of keeping yourself out of the psych ward from how crazy he could drive you; you were still curious as to why he came to talk to you. He takes a moment to just look at you, cerulean eyes almost glowing but he doesn’t realize how intense his stare is until you start to shuffle on your feet- dainty hands twitching nervously at your side and that’s when he speaks.

“Hey…I know we don’t usually talk or anything but are you okay?” Even his voice is dreamy but confusion draws on your face because you felt fine; nervous, like you were around any guy you thought was cute, but fine. Clark elaborates at your expression,

“Y’know because of what happened at the party last-”, that seems to jog your memory enough to snap you out of it, eyebrows shooting up as dread overtakes over your face. You whip your head around, making sure there’s no witnesses when you grab him by his sweaty shirt, dragging him all the way behind the bleachers as you slam him against the metal. Clark is caught so off guard that he just lets it happen; lets the pretty thing half his size drag him as you pleased. Your eyes shift as you glare up at him.

You’re positive he’s talking about your little freak out with close proximity guy, the one that made you leave the party completely; walking so fast you nearly burned a trail in the carpet. Heart pounding, you start to spiral.

He wasn’t supposed to see that. He like everyone else- was supposed to be too drunk to notice anything.

Your nose scrunches, full lips curling in a snarl. “I swear if you say anything to anyone-!” You’re threatening him so fast, Clark falters, raising his hands in defense, debilitating blue eyes widening as he starts to plead his case.

“No no-! I didn’t! I-“, He stutters at your harsh gaze, the feel of your hands soaking through his shirt, warming his chest. He needs to hurry up and explain himself before you start disliking him. “I was just worried! Whenever I see you and a guy, even if you act interested-“, he rushes out, panting as he talks even faster, “the second they get too close you look like you’ll vomit!” Your hostility melts into shock and even more confusion and you let go of his shirt, stepping back as you study him, his words stuck in your mind.

“How..? Are you- you’ve been paying that close attention to me? When do you even see me?” You’re at such a loss for words that it’s hard to string them together to properly question him.

“…I”, he swallows harshly, “I always see you.” It’s pure adrenaline that motors his mouth- he thought he was over the time when lovely faced girls made him nervous but you were unexpectedly feisty. It lit something tingly in him. Your eyes search his face and he spills. “I see how you flirt but you’re sarcastic too. Everyone is so taken by your pretty that they don’t even notice, they just call it ‘wit”, he manages to catch his breath enough to sound less panicked now that you look like you won’t kill him, “I see how even though you’re a flyer, you hate heights-”

“H-how-?”

“Your right leg shakes when they lift you, no matter how stable your base is.” Your mouth opens and closes but nothing comes out, heart racing when his voice goes soft,

“But what I’m saying is- so what that you’re not really what you give off? It’s nothing to be ashamed of. ‘Jus curious why you think it is…”, he blinks those long lashes at you and you find yourself explaining the tale of your sordid social past.

By the end of it he’s stunned speechless.

You? Just how bad was your awkward phase for nobody to be interested in you? Wait so that also probably meant that-

“You’re a virgin?!”

You slap your hands over his mouth with a speed equal to his own, face flushed as you shush him, hissing in a low whisper.

“Jesus Chri- shut up! Are you trying to tell the entire campus?!!” You let out another heavy sigh.

“…yes, I am”. You let your hands fall to the side, refusing to look at him while he’s trying to process; silence filling the space between you. You’ve accepted that your ego will never recover from the most gorgeous being on the planet knowing about all your…truths. That you looked and acted the part of a vixen just to hide that you secretly weren’t.

“…so you’ve never done anyt-”,

“No.”

Well then.

You can’t take another long drag of awkward silence, turning to face the boy who knew you probably more than anyone else did.

“Look- I would’ve loved to remedy this but I-”

“Can’t stomach whenever a guy gets too close due to previous deep rooted societal wrought insecurities…” Bingo.

“Well for what it’s worth,” he gives you one of his disarming grins and a flush creeps up your neck; warming your ears, “I think you’re doing fine now.” You snap your head down to see that you two are standing fairly close or at least closer than you normally allow and you don’t have that itch to get him as far away from you as possible. That’s when you get the idea that- “Oh my god! You can help me get over my thing! This is perfect!”! You’re practically vibrating with glee, excited to finally have all your firsts without that looming of touch related dread haunting you. Clark however is swarmed with various images of him “helping” you and can’t keep his ears from reddening at all the different scenarios where he’d be required to be close to you and begins to stutter.

“W-well, I wa- not that I-! I don’t think that’s a good idea, I mean w-we-”, you cut him off before he can weasel out of it, eyebrows creasing in frustration. You unconsciously step closer, your sweet smell bathes his senses as he stares you down, trying not to gulp too hard. “Please, Clark?”, you start and he swallows harshly at how his name sounds in that whiny tone from your lips.

“It can’t be anyone else because you’re the only one who knows! We’re not close now but we could be-“, and the double meaning makes him tune out completely as he only watches your plump lips move; not even registering the sound coming from them. He was thankful you didn’t ask him why he watched you so closely because the answer was one he wasn’t ready to even admit to himself.

Your lips stop moving after a while and them paired with your begging doe eyes make him cave, Clark nodding in hopeless defeat. He was supposed to be over the influence of pretty girls.

“S’okay, I’ll help you out. Your secret’s safe with me.” The corner of his mouth tilts up in a lopsided smile that was somehow both attractive but made you feel safe and you smile shyly back. You were nervous but you know Clark is a good guy- reckless as hell with his charms- but a good guy. What could go wrong?

•

•

•

Standing in the middle of your dorm room with your arms wound tight around yourself is when you find out that alot can go wrong.

Clark came over and you two came up with a starting plan that seemed the easiest: talk and slowly close the distance between you two until he was touching and looking at you without you getting uncomfortable or pushing him away. It sounded simple enough at first only…. you severely underestimated how you’d react to Clark. The way his deep mellow voice sounded in your ears, how he always held such steady eye contact as he moved towards you, that heavenly jawline tilting when he’d think too long. Already, Clark was big from afar but up close he was even bigger. Strong arms and broad shoulders; chest so thick it was noticeable through his shirt. You were used to others falling at your feet but Clark stood fine and it affected you in ways you didn’t prepare to deal with, so you tried to do what you always did- ignore it.

Matching Clark’s light conversation as you two eventually get more comfortable, gradually gravitating towards each other with slow short steps. The air shifts when you exhale and the breath tickles his chest. This is when you normally get squeamish but you merely hesitate for a few minutes before taking a deep breath and pushing yourself by letting him keep his distance.

His hand twitch and he shuffles a bit closer, biceps flexing as he reaches out, resting his hands on your shoulders; your conversation quiets as he stares at you with perfectly blue lidded eyes and then you feel the stirrings of restlessness under your skin. That impeding urge to get away. Despite the way you feel, the slow atmosphere helps you tremendously to not pull away but your pulse spikes all the same. His hands felt nice. You take another deep breath as you try to come to terms with what you were feeling.

Clark was a guy.

A guy who was standing in your bubble, touching you- looking at you.

A million emotions fly across your face at record speed and Clark doesn’t move any more for the next couple minutes. No, he waits for you; large rough palms warm on your bare shoulders while his pinky idly messes with the thin strap of your top. Your skin was soft. The heavy rise and fall of your chest has him focusing on you more intensely, trying to get a read on how you felt until you break the silence with a shaky exhale.

“We can keep going- you can keep touching me.” He knows you don’t mean it that way but his ears burn anyways as he nods. Taking a second to think before taking his hands off you to take yours, ignoring your big eyes look as he places your hands around his waist- inevitably moving closer and his voice softens like he’ll frighten you away if he were to speak any louder.

“You can touch me too. Promise I don’t mind…this is for you after all.” You suppress a whine because being so close was already hard with you fighting every instinct yelling at you to get gone and go somewhere where nobody could comprehend you but now with Clark staring at you like that, it was even harder. Your eyes flick about the room as you flatten your palms more against his back, mentally rolling your eyes back at how his muscles feel. You don’t even realize you’re biting your lip but Clark does, instantly alert the second he felt your small hands nervously press against him, his eyes zeroed in on the swollen skin dipping under the pressure of your teeth. He feels bad because while he was supposed to be helping you, he couldn’t stop thinking about how sexy you were being so shy but hardheaded enough to build up the grit to go for what scared you because you wanted it.

Without taking his eyes off your face, he rubs his hands up to your neck, making you squeak before smoothing them back down your shoulders; repeating the motions with a gentle hum.

The room feels hot- you felt hot and jittery but it’s too much. Unable to keep the waves at bay, goosebumps trickle over your skin and your eyes scrunch in panic as your breathing picks up. He was close. Close and touching you. You can’t bring yourself to look into his eyes because you know when you do, you’ll be naked for all to see and you scream.

“Stop!”

Nobody can see you-nobody’s supposed to be seeing you, the girl who was never even chose last as you were overlooked entirely no matter how badly you wanted to reach out. Maybe that’s what started your fear. Maybe you were scared of losing experiences because of rejection.

Clark doesn’t move away but he isn’t touching you anymore and you aren’t touching him as your hands fly to the sides of your head, trying to calm yourself down and guilt pours over him. He wants to hug you; comfort you but he knows that pulling you against him in a hug will only worsen things right now so he waits. Closing his eyes to help you feel at ease, listening closely to the beat of your heart until your breaths quiet and he hears it fluctuate back to normal. He keeps his eyes closed until he feels your small trembling hands slide back around him and instead of putting his hands on your shoulders, he moves his arms around them; resting them against your back but not pulling you in yet. It’s quiet besides the hushed sounds of him cooing at you and your breathing. The air now has an underlying current and you shift in his heavy arms, inhaling deeply as you finally look up at his face. Shyly, you cut the silence; voice soft as how you feel.

“…you can open your eyes now..” Clark feels his own heart speed up before he responds, low tone matching yours and electricity hits you when it clicks. This is intimate.

“Are you okay? We can stop and try again some other time; I don’t wanna upset-,”

“I want you to look at me.”

His eyes pop open at your command, peering down at you in such a way that your breath catches; anxiousness rising up you again but you stay right where you are. Willing yourself to embrace the exposed way he makes you feel.

Under the heat of his stare it’s like he’s seeing everything you’ve ever hid or been but his hold is steady enough to let you know he’s there with you and he’s not going anywhere. You still feel naked but more than that, you feel safe. Comfortable enough to not shy away from his warmth, you take another breath; looking up at him through your lashes- making his head fuzzy.

His eyes shift from their usual blue to the shade of the sea after a storm and you’re swept away, logic going with you as you slowly glide your hands up his sides to his where his arms hold you. Feeling every dip and curve of his strong build until you reach his hands, repositioning them around your lower back. You move closer but because you two were already standing so close- your chests touch and Clark stops breathing. The soft swell of your breasts move against his body with your every inhale and he finds his senses filled with you.

Your gaze is torn away when you turn your head, looking down as you drop against his chest. Arms looping around him making his own instinctively curl around you, holding you tight to the firm but soft muscle of his chest. You both pause for a few minutes- waiting for the urgent panic but it never comes. Instead, you melt into him with a relieved sigh, warm breath bleeding into his shirt. You two were officially hugging.

And you were in heaven.

You never knew close contact with the opposite gender could be so delightful. Clark was just so big and warm and smelled so good, you bury your face into the meat of his pec almost deliriously, sighing happily. Fuck, you really had been missing out. His arms are firm and heavy against your back, effectively locking you against him. The endorphin rush hitting you has you practically purring; the sounds of your bliss vibrating Clark’s chest and he smiles, letting you get your fix as he enjoys the way you fit into his arms.

Unsurprisingly, you two stay like that for a while. Fitted against each other in the silence of your cozy bedroom. He sees the top of your head move and he’s suddenly looking into your eyes, pupils blown so wide that your eyes are black. Clark has to bite his lip to keep from smiling at how cute you look. Your eyes flit down to his mouth to see the peek of his fangs that always show, letting out a small breathy ‘oh’ when you do. You’re still reeling in all the best ways as you rest your chin against his chest, unabashedly looking at his handsome face.

Clark raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow at the phantom hearts in your eyes and the way your small feet are standing on top of his larger ones while you make no attempt to separate your bodies, completely content with his proximity. He likes you so he likes your closeness and he’s even more elated that you seem to like him being so close too. Speaking lowly so he doesn’t disturb you, he checks if you’re still on the planet with him.

“This okay, sweetheart? Y’enjoying yourself?” The petname slips out but you don’t move or rush to correct him as your blood simmers, a numbingly pleasant heat washing over you so strong it’s hard to think. Running your hands in a slow caress up his back, you feel the muscles flex as his arm twitches and a smile grows on your face as you blink dumbly- brain currently taking a break, you mumble sweetly,

“Mmhm, yeah never better.”

And it’s true. You’ve never felt this safe, this free with anyone that wasn’t immediate family or your best girl friends. He was touching you and seeing you but you didn’t care because you knew whatever he was seeing and touching, was safe as it would ever be with him.

Clark huffs out a laugh at your belated response, moving one of his hands in a warm caress up your back, feeling you shiver and he bites his lip again. You were so alluring without even having to try and he breathes to reign himself in since he was currently the first and only to have you melting like this from a hug alone. If a hug got you like this he could only imagine how beautifully you’d respond to-

“Um, C-Clark?” Your soft voice brings him back as he hums, flicking his eyes down lazily at you.

“Yeah, baby?” Your sweet little gasp makes him realize that he just called you another nickname but you don’t seem to mind, flustering prettily in his arms. He leans down closer to your face, only to hear you better, eyes patient as he stares at you.

“I know this is supposed to be about me but how do you feel? You’ve been so good with me..I just wanna make sure you’re okay too.” Clark smiles, moved that you’re worrying about him even with all his experience.

“Yeah I feel good but how about you? Want me to let go or we can try something different?” He would’ve asked if you wanted to stop but he was going off your body language and it was telling him distance was the last thing you wanted and he was right as you shook your head before resting your chin back into his chest, looking up at him with those pupil eclipsed doe eyes.

“I feel great but…”, your voice gets smaller as it takes on an almost needy tone before stopping altogether. You snap your face back into his chest and he’s even more curious to get it out of you but you just can’t say it.

“You really don’t need to be embarrassed. Clothed or naked, we all start somewhere”, he whispers against the top of your head, stroking your back soothingly as you try to talk yourself into asking him before you chicken out, “with me you can start wherever you want and you know I’ll never tell. Or make fun of you..”,

His voice is tender with warmness and it turns your reservations to raindrops as you look back into his eyes. Steeling your nerve, you ground yourself with the way you feel in another persons arms for the first time in your life- his arms and decide to go for it.

“You said- we can try something different?” Your heart begins to race again as Clark’s starts to pound. He can’t keep the heat out of eyes as he returns your stare, nodding.

“Yeah. We can do whatever you want.” His breath wafts across your face, forehead resting against yours and the rate at which you find yourself needing him- scares you. You’ve been depraved of this kind of contact to the point of fear since forever but now…

“Then…can we-“, you blink rapidly, not wanting to verbalize it but not wanting to go without even more.

“Can we kiss please?”

Clark has to shut his eyes. You looked so sweet, felt so soft and even though you couldn’t keep the neediness from seeping into your words, you still asked so politely. Blood rushes through his ears as he feels a familiar stirring in his groin, taking a deep breath because it wouldn’t do for him to lose control now, his voice is heady with pure want when he answers,

“F’course. I’d love to kiss, baby.”

Large hands settle around your waist as you get pulled completely flush to him, legs almost intertwining while your pelvises touch; bodies glued together. The languid heat of arousal thrums through you, making your head spin.

Your lips part when Clark presses his forehead more firmly against yours, lighting you from the inside out when he dips his neck to slot his open mouth over yours.

Immediately your chest burns, heart feeling like each pump is gasoline, fueling the fire hes started in you. Clark’s full lips slide against yours, alternating between suckling at your top lip then bottom lip slowly, coaxing you to follow his lead, groaning his approval and the sound turns you up as you press yourself harder against his body. You feel so good you’re thrumming- heat steadily pulsing through you.

Your heads move from how hard you’re kissing, slick sounds coming from your mouths intensifying as you get rougher, delicious shivers all up your spine. Clark presses his lips fully against yours, moving them open wider with his own, hot breaths mingling as he licks hotly against the opening of your mouth. A bolt of pleasure hits you so hard that you gasp, wrenching your mouth off his as you moan- the needy little thing so whiny it makes his cock fatten in his pants as you pant against each others lips. Fuck. He can smell how wet you are. The sweet, heady smell makes his mouth water with him tossing shame clean out the window.

“Can I put my tongue in your mouth? Please, pretty girl?” You move your arms around his neck to get as close as possible, nodding desperately.

“God, yes-!” His mouth is back to consuming yours before you finish. Opening your lips with the force of his swollen ones, he sucks your bottom lip before lapping his tongue into your mouth. You twitch in his hold, even more turned on when he doesn’t have to move to keep your squirming in place, casual show of strength making you lightheaded as he swallows your moans. Wet smacks fill the air, your grip on him tightening when he sucks your tongue into his mouth. You get wetter and he can tell, growling in pleasure as he suddenly lifts you; your legs locking around his waist as he uses his hold on yours to grind you against him. The result is instantaneous. You melt like cotton candy, chest shaking against his from your pleasured moans as your shared spit wets your lips. Still aware of the fact that you need to breathe, Clark pulls away with a suck of your lips- staring at you hungrily with dark eyes.

He can’t even remember when he picked you up but the tiny undulations of your hips let him know it was a welcome decision. You looked so good. Lips puffy n slick, doe eyes teary and blown out, wet as fuck with your hard nipples poking through your top…you could ask him for every one of Saturns rings and he’d get them for you.

Clark takes a deep lungful of your tantalizing scent before he checks on you again.

“How was that, sweetheart? Y’first kiss right?” You nod, cupping his face. You can’t help the way you smooch more pecks onto his pink lips, aching as you answer.

“It was so good”, you drag your nose down his jaw; kissing his ear as you whisper into it, “you feel so good, Clark..”. You have him completely hard at this point, thick and fat as his tip oozes pre when you start to whine. He almost feels bad that you’ve waited so long, being so pent up wasn’t good and you deserved to feel good everyday.

“What’s wrong baby?” The low timbre of his voice makes your pulse skyrocket, causing you to absolutely dissolve against him, hips twitching as he helped you rub yourself on him.

“I-I need..-“, you let out a soft cry and he quickly soothes you. Kissing you deeply before pulling away, licking his lips of your taste as he verbalizes exactly what you need.

“Need to cum?”

The heat in your chest blooms up to your face as you nod, suddenly growing shy but still comfortable. You purr as Clark presses a sweet kiss to your cheek, looking at you with pretty lidded eyes.

“Would it be okay if I made you cum princess?”

The utterly wrecked moan that comes out of your mouth has goosebumps scattering up his arms, holding you tighter as you nod vigorously.

“I need words baby”, he whispers. Giving you another kiss to tempt you and it works. He was too irresistible and he knew it.

“Yeah, you can make me cum Clark.” And with that he carries you over to your bed, laying you on the plushness as he takes over your mouth again with a hungry groan, your hands touching everywhere until he pulls away- fangs on display as he smiles making fire sweep through your veins.

Massaging your legs, he rises on his knees- taking off his shirt as your mind checks out from how hot he is, shifting restlessly as the ache in your pussy throbs with the best pain. Whining his name, Clark cooes at you; big hands moving to pull your clothes off. Your nerves are going haywire but you need this- need him to make you feel things, lifting your hips to help him slide your shorts and underwear off, spreading your legs as you let him get a good look at your messy wet hole twitching in need.

Clark swears, hooking his hands under your knees and bending them towards your chest. Exposing you more as he licks his lips, keeping his eyes glued to your cunt.

“Atta girl, jus’ lay there nice n pretty and I’ll give you what you need..”

[stillarobyn]

I understand the intention behind this post and I don't disagree with it. I don't.

If you're writing a period piece or something with a certain dark tone, then yes, you absolutely want to keep to that, give your gruff sailor a mumbled line about not being like most other men, or your scattered workaholic scientist can say she never felt like she was missing out on anything by not having a partner while they save the world.

But do not limit the reach of fanfiction by expecting it to be held to the same standards.

Because we need both. Because the target audience for a lot of works that employ this are young, they're disconnected from community, and they're lost. They think they're broken or they don't fit or they are made wrong.

I, a millennial, didn't know about bisexuality until I read about it in fanfic somewhere around 2003 (I was 13). I didn't know any out gay or queer people growing up. It was still scandalous on tv, and my parents didn't have any problem with it, they just didn't talk about it. I can't imagine how isolating it would have felt if my parents prevented me from watching anything with gay characters or spoke negatively about them.

My first discovery of nonbinary identity was in a bandom fic I read in 2010 (I was 20, for those playing the home game). It was maybe two years after that that I began to talk with nonbinary/genderqueer/genderfluid people online. I knew a couple of binary trans people in college, and one in high school, but this was my first time meeting people who weren't a binary gender. In 2012! It took another two years for me, at this point a full-ass adult, to start describing myself that way.

All of this oversharing to say...my understanding of queer identity was not hand-held by anyone in my life, but boy I learned to accept these foreign ideas I saw in myself because I had a safe fictional environment to explore these concepts and terms.

I think it was 2014-2016 when fanfic spaces had a boom of "everyone is trans" AUs and headcanons, and they were often rose-tinted and a bit twee, but that's the point of them. I saw identities I had to look up, and when I asked in follow-up "okay, but what does a person who feels like that look/act like?" it was all crickets, except in fiction, and specifically fanfic.

"But the world is different now, not knowing is no excuse" NOPE. not with anti-lgbtqia legislation passing in the US, or in other hostile countries around the world (I'm from the US, my argument is US-centric based on my experience and knowledge, but by no means exclusionary of people in other countries), or even family situations or rural upbringing or any other circumstance that isolated young queer folk from other queer folk.

A popular live-service video game introduced a nonbinary character and I saw twitch chats full of people who were just confused and uneducated. Ignoring those who were hostile was easy, but the uninformed, especially the non-English-speakers and people who didn't come from Western cultures, were largely open to learning something they never had framework for. Made all the more frustrating in a game environment where the characters didn't make a habit of having these discussions on screen, but that's a different rant.

I don't know if OP intended this in reference to original media, or toward fic, but I saw a lot of established characters in the reblogs so I just want to address that. I'm a characterization first fic reader, so I get it. "Everyone is trans" fics aren't for me, but there's a space needed for them if someone needs to see Captain Kirk and Spock debating the application of terminology of human gender and sexuality in interplanetary cultural settings...now actually I kind of want that fic so I played myself.

Dragon Age Veilguard came under attack for daring to openly and forwardly use the term "nonbinary" in its fantasy world, as though something about the word is inherently incompatible with the fantasy genre? But the game was pretty clear in its goal to create a safe gaming space for marginalized folks when so often their experiences are erased, ignored, tokenized, or stereotyped. The narrative, therefore, had to be hostile to the unaccepting, educational for the ignorant, and validating to the vulnerable. Getting to play in a world where people are referred to as nonbinary (just like me) and where people use they/them pronouns (just like me) and where no one ridicules or attacks them specifically for this? It felt comfortable and safe and the world was ending in the game, but I felt a personal empowerment in my immersion.

More complex and nuanced discussions by characters about their queer identity add to the picture. It shouldn't be in every work because every author has their own angle and their own philosophy about it, but they have just as much a right to a seat at the table. You can have your fics where Tony Stark's sexuality is a smirk and a wink, and you can have your fics where he explains that he used to call himself bisexual but the world is bigger and weirder so he considers himself omnisexual now. And if you don't like that, scroll past it. The author didn't write it for you, but someone else needs to hear that.

Maybe this is just a personal vent that escaped containment, but I feel the need to remind some folks that some people need the LGBT center brochure version because they didn't get one in the mail. It's a tough time for everyone in this community, no need to make it tougher.

he would not fucking say that but it’s he would not fucking talk about his queer identity like he was reading out of a college campus lgbt center brochure

[justtheclippy]

Tips and FAQ for Asks

Hello beautiful humans, I want to do my best to get to everyone's asks so here are a few things you can do to help make that happen! (if you're looking for the cast stream master list, skip to the bottom)

Please don't spam the same question repeatedly. I will get to you eventually, I promise! But when you submit the exact same thing multiple times, it just slows me down. I've got one single brain cell, please have mercy.

No spoiler requests. I cannot tell you anything about future episodes, when they will come out, what will happen to certain characters, how the story ends etc. We're limited on what we can say in general until more episodes release. The entire cast has signed NDAs (non disclosure agreement) preventing us from revealing anything, but more than that, we wouldn't want to ruin your experience of watching and engaging with the show organically! Trust me, just enjoy the ride, it's better that way.

Don't take anything too seriously. Please keep in mind most of these answers will just be for fun. My thoughts and opinions on the character, both for silly things like favorite dessert and more serious things like character analysis, are not hard and fast canon. Same goes for any of the actors. We can speculate about our characters, we know and understand them well, but when in doubt, assume its allllllllllllll non-canonical haha

Read through previous asks. This will help prevent asking things I've already answered. I'm going to be tagging (i swear I'll do it fr) my answers with #amanda asks and #tadc asks so you can find them more easily. If you do ask a question I've already answered IT'S OK DON'T PANIC I won't be upset haha

Even though I'll be tagging my answers so you can easily find them, here are a few frequently asked questions just to get them out of the way. If you decide to ask me something I've already answered, or something that goes against the guidelines above, I'll probably skip it, you silly geese.

Q: I've seen people use several different pronouns for you, what are your preferred pronouns? A: They/them and I prefer masc leaning terms generally! I'm queer, NB and very open about my identity. But people will sometimes use she/her because they don't know. I will never get upset with someone for not knowing- it's ok. But now that you've read this, you know! So you can go forth educated. You're welcome to correct anyone who doesn't know, but please be kind to each other. We've all been the person who didn't know before.

Q: What do you think of X ship? A: I love and support all the ships! Ships are part of a healthy fandom, keep creating content that makes you feel seen and that YOU want to see, that's the foundation of creativity. And if anyone disagrees with you, remind them that a lot of classics are just fanfiction about the gods at the time. It's always been here.

Q: What is your favorite ship? A: Bunnydoll and Buttonblossom, because the dynamics are so much fun.

Q: Do you like X AU? A: Yes. It doesn't matter what it is, yes. I love the AUs and if it's a new one, you better include a link so I can find it. I want all of them, thank you so muuuuuuuuch~

Q: Have you seen or played X game/show/movie/meme etc.? A: Always happy to chat about other media! But if you wanna ask about something specific, please include a link or explanation because lets be just so very honest, half the time my brain is off in adhd land so there's a good chance I'll have no idea what you're talking about at first.

Q: Have you watched Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure? A: Not yet! But due to VERY POPULAR REQUEST I will be putting together a watch stream to watch it live with yall. Once that's happened, I'll put the link here.

Q: Have you seen Queen's second game and will you be playing it? A: Yes, we've all seen the trailer and we're very excited! We will be playing it as a full cast, just like last time, as soon as the game is finished. For now, please go enjoy the demo and support the team! Once it's out and we're ready to stream it, I'll post the link here.

Q: Can you come to X convention? A: I will come to any convention that yall want to see me at!

BUT

In order for that to happen, you have to request me directly with the convention. Most will have either a request form on their site or a specific email for requests. Just write in that you would like to see me at their event, and then they will get in touch with my agent to book me!

Q: Can I request a song for you to sing? A: Of course! I promise yall I'll do my best to put out more songs this year. If there's a cover you want me to consider doing, or an artist/composer you'd like to hear me work with, let me know!

Outside of that, if you just want a little clip, you can drop requests in the asks and if I know the song I might record a bit. This is COMPLETELY dependent on time, especially if I'm busy. Please understand ❤️

You can also make requests during stream signings, which is easier to accommodate in the moment. Just put the request in the order notes, and I'll sing a little bit for you while I sign IF I know the song. So choose wisely.

Q: Can I write an ask just to show you cool stuff or tell you you're awesome? A: Of course you can! You can also tag me in stuff, that's ok too. I appreciate all the love and support yall have shown for me, Ragatha and the show in general. Yall are truly incredible. ❤️

Q: Do you have a PO Box so we can send you stuff? A: I'm setting it up THIS WEEK. I will post it here when it's ready.

Q: Where can I find X stream that the cast did? A: Moving forward, I will keep a master list of our group streams in order of date aired, to the best of my ability. If I miss one, let me know and I'll get it on here!

Saberspark TADC Cast Interview

Streamily Signing #1 (Amanda, Michael, Alex, Marissa)

Streamily Signing #2 (Amanda and Michael)

Streamily Signing #3 (Amanda and Sean)

Streamily Signing #4 (Amanda, Sean, Alex, Michael, Marissa, Vera, Hamish)

TADC Fan Game Stream: Game 1

Streamily Signing #5 (Amanda, Alex, Ashley, Sean, Michael, Marissa, Vera, Hamish, Wiz)

Fast Food Simulator Charity Stream (Amanda, Lizzie, Marissa, Michael, Ashley)

[cambankromyy]

THE ISLAND LOOKOUT (pt.3): rumors - (smau & irl au) childhood bsf!rafe cameron x thornton!reader

series masterlist; general masterlist; taglist

part 2 - part 3 - part 4

an: lol i couldnt fit all the pics into the last part so im posting part 2 and 3 at the same time

the account took off faster than they ever expected. every messy, carefree post became something people couldn’t stop talking about. the comments, shares, and attention grew, but for them, it was still just a joke. they promised they’d never let it change them.

they weren’t influencers. they didn’t care about followers, clout, or anyone’s opinion. it was just something fun, something theirs. no matter how big it got, it would always stay that way.

but keeping that carefree attitude got harder. people started asking for pictures, treating them like celebrities. and island lookout? it went from posting blurry pics or random rumors to making them the center of attention.

people couldn’t stop speculating. island lookout loved stirring the pot, hinting at something more. if you ever defended rafe or left a party together, the comments exploded with theories.

at first, it was funny. something you were able to laugh off. you made jokes about it; and people ate that shit up.

but then the rumors started. and they didn’t stop. year after year, people kept talking—speculating, theorizing. the more they talked, the more obsessed they seemed to get with you and rafe. it was like they couldn’t wrap their heads around the idea of the two of you just being friends.

you’d never questioned it before. rafe was your best friend, and that was just how it was. no one ever thought anything of the way you two clung to each other at parties, or the way you'd be the first to tell eachother about anything. it was normal. you were best friends, and that was enough.

but it made you think. why was it so different with him than anyone else? it never crossed your mind before, but now... it kind of did.

it’s not like you and rafe never hooked up with other people, but it was never serious. whenever you tried to date or hook up with someone else, it always felt off. maybe you’d get annoyed when a guy tried to cling to you all night at a party or started acting too affectionate. you’d lose interest, but with rafe? it never bothered you. you could spend the whole night with him and feel fine, like nothing was weird.

and rafe? he wasn’t any different. whenever a girl started to get too clingy, too “relationship-y,” he’d laugh it off and say something like, “i don’t like jealous girls anyway,” and drop them. it got to a point where he’d text you during parties, asking where you were so he could be with you.

but after a while, you started to wonder—if he didn’t want anything serious with anyone, why did he keep coming back to you? why was it always you that he’d stick with, even when he was with other girls? maybe it wasn’t just friendship after all. maybe there was something more between you two.

an: finallyyyy some rafe and roni romanceeeee

tags under the cut

tags: @italk2god @angelicameron @marleymarleymarleymarley, @queenvane64, @raeven-marie43 @idiotussupremus @sereneera @yesshewrites1 @inlovewithchriss @ethanthequeefqueen @amterasuu @popou61 @frankocealuvr11 @drewsstars @yannew @anothertimegirl

[alienssstufff]

Last Life Apocalypse AU [PROLOGUE 3/3]

EULOGY (23/10/NULL):

Surveillance footage of the Eremita Local Cemetery on the 23rd of October (Year: NULL). The following is a transcript of several discrepancies timestamps 00:18:15, 0:24:09, 06:24:15 extracted from Camera 3 and has been archived upon cease of investigation.

PROLOGUE: [PART 0] [PART 1 - lineup] [PART 2] [PART 3]

>[READ ARTICLE?]

00:18:15 , 23/10/NULL:

[SOUNDS OF A CAR ENGINE, MODEL UNSEEN]

[FOOTSTEPS ON PAVEMENT]

A singular flashlight hits the surveillance wall held by a shadow out of camera shot.

[FOOTSTEPS ON GRASS]

[SOUNDS OF PAPER RUSTLING]

GRIAN: (muttering) [UNTRANSLATABLE] GRIAN: You know how busy my schedule is to not show up to the service. GRIAN: -and I know you’re not actually there – None of you are. GRIAN: But I promised Timmy to visit you. GRIAN: He’s in the car right now- probably bawling his eyes out worried sick about the both of you. It took a lot to convince him and Lizzie to let you do this and even more to keep your cases open I– GRIAN: I shouldn’t be mad, I shouldn’t be – but I am. I’ve ‘ad a long hard think the month since you left and I’m actually furious.  GRIAN: Scar, I know I’m not the most open of the two of us -you’re aware of my situation just as I am of yours. And as your friend, I've been respecting your personal space… But if it’s gotten this serious I really wish you could’ve told me… Told anyone! GRIAN: Does Cub know?... Does Bdubs know?? Or have they been lying to me too.

[PAUSE]

GRIAN: The LNC have been looking after the office since your disappearances went public. GRIAN: -Not sure what they’re doing with that I don’t go. Not a part of that. GRIAN: No one can find any of your wills if you wrote them. GRIAN: (laughs) like I doubt it. I don’t even need to check your room to know it’s in utter shambles in there. That’s your responsibility. GRIAN: (pause).... That's your responsibility when you get home. I’m done.

00:24:09 , 23/10/NULL:

GRIAN: I really don’t know what else there is to say to any of you. Joel I’ve left my condolences with Lizzie, if you want to hear what I have to say tell it to her. She’s the real person the two of you should be apologizing to. GRIAN: I’m going. Come back if you really want to talk.

[FOOTSTEPS ON GRASS]

[FOOTSTEPS ON PAVEMENT]

[SOUNDS OF A CAR ENGINE, MODEL UNSEEN]

06:24:15 , 23/10/NULL:

[DISTANT SOUNDS OF BIRDS, BREED UNDECIPHERABLE]

It is of note that the external lights operate on a timer, set to turn off at 0600 sharp in accordance to the sunrise. While the positioning of the camera and the facility is orientated to face the east, no direct sunlight can be seen here.

[SOUNDS OF BIRDS, BREED UNDECIPHERABLE]

Small shadows pass within camera shots. Flying in the northern direction.

>[TRANSCRIPT ENDS HERE]

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Pt.80)

(Sneak Peak)(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: none of your pack ever expected your heat to come with so many biological changes but now that your mate has a knot...you have but one thing on your mind.

Tags: Groupsex, fivesome? threesome? exhibitionism, voyeurism, praise kink, Knotfucking, dumbification, mindbreak, omegaspace sex, Mating cycles/in heat, lactation kink, false pregnancy, some good ol' tiddy sucking, omega x omega content, scissoring? pussy spanking, jungkook x m/c, mommy kink, daddy kink, trans charecters, discussion of girl knot/cock, girl on top, feral sex, biting, humor, this is soft and horny and funny,

W/c: 11.0k

A/n: Ahhhh i'm sorry it took so long for me to write this chapter- the good thing is the next one won't be that far off! Until then if you like this story and want to read a different version of the beginning that has like 5+ additional chapters of how yoongi and the m/c got together you can read it here

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

~-~

“Has anything like this ever happened before?” Seokjin asks, carefully. Pillow over his bare lap. Namjoon has the good sense to at least put on some shorts. Jimin looks at Tae quickly and Tae does not return his gaze. Some secret soulmate conversation going on between them that you can’t read.

When you look up at Hobi- he’s watching your face. He doesn’t look away but after a moment- he does shrug as if to say ‘our beta has a knot- so what?’

“I’ve never heard of a beta popping a knot. I’m not sure. I think this might just be us.”

You groan, hiding your face under Yoongi’s chin. His breath heaves, and he turns back to you, nuzzling back.

“Is it my slick? Or the mating mark? Did I do this to him-” your eyes are wet, tears already threatening. You are already generally sensitive, and even more so in heat. Yoongi eases away your worries with a quick kiss to the side of your face. Cutting off your guilt before it has a chance to build.

“None of that now, if I had to change for anyone, I’m glad it’s you.”

The pack is quiet around you, all in varying states of nudity. Quiet at the truth of what he says, how suddenly deep this has gotten. But he's right, you'd change for any of them. You wouldn't mind either.  Yoongi rubs your cheek and you pull yourself half into his lap for a cuddle. Needy, too worn down to let it go. Yoongi’s hands go around your waist keeping you close. You melt into his arms, still sniffling.

"Your dick was perfect before though-"

"Sweetheart " he groans.

"What? I'm just saying-"

Hoseok chokes back a laugh and tries to keep it in, but before you can help it everyone's laughing and covering their faces with their hands to keep from smiling. 

“You didn’t cum at all. Did you?" Namjoon asks, eyes dark. Yoongi starts to lift the hem of the shirt you wear, showing. “No, I didn’t.” Yoongi can feel a bit of skin at the base of his cock, still loose, still half popped. If you weren’t more preoccupied with holding your mate and shaking through a bit of weepiness, you’d be more curious about the knot pressed between your legs.

Maybe this is just resource-guarding. Classic omega in heat, of course, the most valuable resource is your mate. 

“You know” Namjoon hesitates, looking from Yoongi to Jin. “Popping a knot without ejaculating sperm is kind of medically dangerous-”

“Namjoon-” Jin scolds.

“Sorry, without Cuming is actually kind of dangerous, especially because it’s like, not typical for you to have a knot.”

You don’t know if it’s hornyness or just Namjoon being concerned for Yoongi’s health (probably a little bit of both) but you perk up. Blinking at the pack alpha who looks a little strained. A little like he’s trying not to look too much.

Across the nest, Jungkook shuffles forward, blatantly eyeing Yoongi’s knot like he’s just found his new favorite toy. But no sooner is he putting his hand on the beta’s tight before Jin is pulling him back the collar. "no no no pup, that's not yours yet."

He lets out a little bereft whimper, but you hardly notice. Eyes bright, directed up at Namjoon. Like it honestly hadn’t occurred to you that now that your mate has a knot that means he can use it.

Yoongi can knot you now. Pack alpha is so smart! you don't know how it didn't occur to you yet but.

oh, you really want that. You really want Yoongi to knot you.

Coming saturday Jan 25th at 5pm EST (Time Zone Adjustments Below).

[mrsriddlenott]

JJ Maybank Series Coming Soon!!

~ Oh, It’s You ~

Ex-Sneaky Link!JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader

Struggling Adult OBX AU, post season 4 by a year but I won’t be mentioning canon plot points bc of JJ’s s4 ending. This will be very angsty and there will eventually be smut. I don’t have a definitive end to this story yet either so I will likely take y’all’s opinions into account if this story is enjoyable for those of you who read it.

~~~~

After months of hooking up with JJ in secret, you both began developing deep feelings for each other, but when his friends, Kie especially, learn of your relationship and plot on it’s downfall JJ leaves you reeling and confused as he enters a relationship with his best friend leaving you to wonder what you did to push him away so quickly. Unbeknownst to you however. the blonde was struggling more than he let on, wanting nothing more than to go his own path but feeling trapped with those who used to make him feel free. The only person he can think of now that makes him feel as open as he once did is….you.

Overall warnings(each chapter will likely have it’s own warnings depending on it’s contents.): Angst, emotional Cheating, ooc Kie(she really sucks but it’s for plot). There will be no physical cheating on Reader or Kie bc idfwt. JJ is very confused in this story for a good while and really doesn’t know what to do to not hurt you or Kie or everyone else he cares about. Eventual smut, fighting and confusion.

Lmk if anyone wants tagged, but if the Taglist gets too long it will be closed just for my own sanity keeping up with it lmao❤️

I have been formulating this idea for a week or so and have the beginning largely written out, I will be posting the first part this weekend if everything goes to plan. The parts will be shorter than some stories I have done in the past just to help me keep up with the plot I want w/o getting overwhelmed or pushing myself towards writers block again. I will try and update it at least once a week after that as long as y’all enjoy my ideas!!

Lmk if y’all like the idea❤️

~~~~

[Part One]

[Part Two]

[Part Three]

[Part Four]

[distant--shadow]

Okay, I have three (3) thoughts about the state of cr's talkback shows atm and I've decided to write them in your ask box. Feel free to ignore:

I think the quality of the questions in the fireside chat was strongly linked to 4sd and, mainly, the tower of inquiry. As much as I like the idea of having a section where evergreen questions can be asked, they really lean towards the “what if the world was made of pudding?” genre of questions and I think that - combined with the attention that gets drawn to the questions by the Jenga game and the milque-toast-ness of the other questions on 4sd - has encouraged the fandom to discuss and focus on those questions more than we used to.

I also really miss the fact that talk machina had a presenter (who, for the sake of clarity, was fired for obvious reasons and I’m not, in any way, advocating for him to come back). The fact that both the presenter of 4sd and order of questions in the tower of inquiry and deep dive sections are random, means that whether the cast elaborate on their answers is up to chance. I feel like, with the cast being more detached from the fanbase than they used to (for good reason) there really should be someone on screen who knows what questions were answered in the past and can guide the conversation so that they don’t spend 10 minutes discussing “think about this AU” questions and then only give in-depth character analysis a single sentence before being distracted by a joke or running out of time. To be clear, this isn’t a criticism of the cast at all, you can’t both give really good, in-depth answers to questions while also coming up with your own follow-up questions and staying engaged in and shaping the discussion as a whole. I’d say Dani is the obvious pick for a presenter but I think her interests are more in the shippy/fanon side (which is fine, I’m not trying to police how anyone interacts with the show) so I’d prefer her questions to be interjections rather than the whole thing.

This campaign has had a significant percentage of it’s talkback shows taken up by overlap with other stuff (party splits, vox machina and the mighty nein getting their own eps, overlap with calamity and downfall etc.) and, in an ideal world, I’d want them to do separate that stuff out and do extra shows about that, rather than letting it eat into valuable question answering time for bells hells.

All this to say: if cr wants to make a talkback show specifically tailored to me, I'm down with them flying me out to America so I can host my new talkback show called “AU? No thank you!” where we exclusively talk about bells hells and all hypotheticals are banned. Nobody but me would enjoy it but I'm the main character of my story so...

appreciate you engaging and putting your thoughts out there via my inbox!

I agree with most of this, I can respect what they were trying with 4sd but yeah it did not deliver the meat that talks did, and I would love to have a simple discussion show like that back (at one point I would have suggested dani as host too, but if anything these fireside and 4sd eps have proven that she is way too fanon-brained/shipping inclined and I personally, can't stand when she interjects without being asked for an answer (though correcting lore is a different case and pretty much always appreciated))

I can deal with a little amount of what if the world was pudding type questions, but ultimately yeah, it does come across as "so what if we got a different story than the one you chose to give us?" there are cases when yeah maybe it wasn't as conscious as a decision or another factor where yeah, I would like to know the alternative, but i agree with ya there.

I will also say that yes, I do think the shape of the questions selected is in part to match the more laid back and goofy vibes of 4sd, the evergreen questions and such really are not a good choice and absolutely there wa sso much going on during this campaign that reaaaallly broke up the momentum (momentum which still managed to feel oppressive), but i would say I do also think an amount of it is just how modern fandom is, to sound like an old guy yelling at a cloud. so many things come into play here, parasocial stuff, attention spans, isolation and selfishness, populatiry contests within fandoms and how that births popular works/notions from fanon being perceived as canon law, etc etc.

as I keep saying, I want people to make, I want people to have fun, but it's a yeowch from me when that feeds back into the source material, or at least spin offs of it. I do think it is a case of both parties being somewhat guilty, ask baby questions get baby answers, if people engage with fanservice and it gets views then they're gonna cater to that because they need eyes on them to exist as a company. I'm really not the person to be doing the write ups about this, but i do think it's important to share my opinions on my most beloved piece of media, in some ways especially because I create so much "content" for it.

I've pretty much always felt like an outsider within fandom space, and whether that's because of what I want out of it, what I want to see for my favourite characters, or my behaviour, or my work - I don't know, but i do know that for years of watching this show I kept well away from the fandom space or even sharing my drawings caus I didn't want it to hinder my experience and enjoyment of watching, and when the stuff I've been trying to avoid is seeping it's way into the actual shows then yeah, it is something I wanna speak out on.

[alan-without-the-an]

(I wanted to join in @quartztwst's No Yan Sim AU!! The idea's hilarious and ridiculous /pos and I saw an opportunity to draw Alan lookin' like a jock hehe)

Alan is the stereotypically cold, ruthless jock of the school. A loner whose only trusted companion is their own self and has no interest in making friends. They're silent, hostile and completely unapproachable... ...Right?

Image w/ just the art + additional info under the cut :3

General personality:-

Their quiet demeanour comes from their softspoken and reserved nature. More often than not, they can be found with their head in the clouds thinking about something... like cats! They can be awkward and they never make the first move to socialise, but they're more than happy to engage in conversation with someone!

They're TERRIBLE at photography and at handling a camera in general... that and the long, rambly nature of the club discussions completely demotivate them from participating.

(They're too awkward to say something about leaving to the other members however, so they're honestly just waiting for the day they get kicked out.)

They have insanely good memory despite the terrible attention span, however. They're on top of all of their sports meetings, knows exactly what classes they have to walk on autopilot to, and during quiet times when noone is around and they don't have anyone to socialise with, they pull out their sketchbook and draw the first thing that comes to their mind.

When sneaking a peek, the drawings may incite a bit of deja vu... doesn't this sketch look awfully familiar to something Quartz did earlier today...?

Game mechanics:-

Sometimes, subconciously, Alan draws things they remember seeing but didn't quite process due to how 'not present in the real world' they are. They might not even realise what they're drawing is from memory. If someone else finds this, it could potentially lead to a certain school detective connecting the dots. (Hippity hoppity, these pages are now my property)

When they're alone and not busy talking, Quartz can ask them to do 1v1 practice sessions with her! Having these practice sessions can increase her strength and some of her abilities (then maybe one day she can take on the tweels... and Shuu).

When they aren't loitering around or drawing, their next activity of choice is to bring out some cat kibble and go around the school in search of cats. Perhaps Quartz could ask her about these cat hangout spots or ask for some kibble to lure in some cats... which then lure in a wild Idia. (Could be used for distraction purposes or to take photos of him?)

Personal items:-

Flip phone: Technology is hard to figure out and what they've got still works! No point in fixing what ain't broke.

Satchel: Trusty ol' bag of holding! Its contents fluctuate often, but whatever's inside is usually necessary for the day. Losing this will result in quiet panic.

Sketchbook + excessive number of pens: Even just one sketchbook is hard to fill out in one's day-to-day life. Pens, however, can be used for almost any situation!

Cat kibble: For the kitties.

(Aaaand here's the artwork! Both with a clean bg and a transparent one :D This was a brain workout to think about, but I had so much fun trying to brainstorm ideas!!)

[kaliforniahigh]

Hello, everyone! This is kind of a farewell post to the Bad Omens fanbase.

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I've been less active lately (like I said in an ask I answered the other day). I don't think I relate to the band anymore, and I don't feel as strongly about them as I used to. It was really sad to come to this conclusion, since I still love their music. But, the connection is not there anymore.

I don't want to get into more details, since people tend to be a little overprotective over here. But, the bottom line is: I won't be writing for Bad Omens anymore. But, my masterlist is still gonna be my pinned post.

I'll still retweet some stuff, and you guys can still send me asks (no thoughts or requests, please), but I'll also start posting about my other interests on this account. So, feel free to unfollow me if you want, I won't hold grudges!

The Apocalypse AU is also not going to be posted anymore. I just couldn't find the excitement to write it, despite having plans for it and liking the story a lot. I do have about 2k words written, so, if anyone wants to continue, send me a message and we can talk about it.

I met some incredible people over here and I felt very welcomed, so thank you so much for that <3 If one day I fall in love with the band again, I'll definitely come back!

[k0nanharv3y]

Tim Is A Wayne. AU

Au where Tim joins the batfam early but decides to have a simple life

Most "Tim joins the batfam early" fics end with Jason never going to Ethiopia and Tim becoming Robin while Jason becomes Flamebird or Red Hood. And I'm usually fine with that

But

Listen to me carefully

What if... What if Tim doesn't become Robin? 😦😦😦😦😦

LISTEN TO ME

PUT DOWN THAT ROCK

So... yeah, the kid likes to run around Gotham and take pictures, but let's be honest, Tim is an amateur, the only times he plays the hero are to protect himself or because the situation requires it

So... Tim keeps "sneaking" around to take pictures of Batman and Robin, and I say "sneaking" because even if he walked out the door it wouldn't change the fact that everyone already knows. And Tim doesn't want to become Robin, in canon he never wanted to be Robin, but Batman needed a Robin, but since Jason never died, then Tim doesn't have to become Robin

Do you get my point?

No? I don't care

There are two paths here, Tim becomes a spy for the Bats and now takes pictures of villains and deals in illegal stuff and... Well, he's an Oracle but physical (SOMEONE GIVE ME TIM A SPY, I AM BEGGING YOU) and now he has backup in case he falls off a building or someone notices him, and now he has equipment that doesn't consist of black clothes and worn out sneakers, but he never becomes a vigilante who fights bad guys, he's... Natasha Romanoff but without the fighting skills

And the other way... Tim... has a normal life 😦😦😦😦😦😦😦 as normal as being Bruce Wayne's son would allow him, he goes to school even though he's ahead, he has two brothers who love him and are willing to kill/die for him, he has Alfred (which, being the only member who doesn't stay up all night hitting people, he appreciates him and teaches him things about life [TIM KNOWS HOW TO COOK LIKE ALFRED, SOMEONE, I BEG YOU TO GIVE ME THAT] and among all his grandchildren, Tim is the favorite). And he has Bruce, who is a good father and is thrilled that one of his sons didn't take his path and is safe at home :D

Here are two more paths from "Tim Joining The Batfam Early" and that is... Jason's Death. It didn't happen: It's a lot of what you read above, not a lot of changes and that's fine. And... Jason does die

But Bruce doesn't get another Robin and Tim doesn't become Robin because his brother just died in that suit... a lot of Angst there. And Bruce doesn't break down because his family won't let him, he can't break down because his other son needs him. And when Jason comes back the first thing he wants to do is see his little brother

And there's plenty of angst there for them to feed on

But let's leave the angst aside, let's get to the fun part

Jason never dies and Tim is kidnapped

Option A) Tim stays silent as he waits for whoever comes to get him out of here, staring at anyone who passes by

Option B) He unties himself and escapes to the roof, waiting for whoever is coming for him to appear

Tim finishes high school and goes to Ivy University and is accepted with a scholarship and the family is happy

Tim welcomes Damian with open arms because he always wanted a little brother (he wanted to stop being treated like the baby of the family, please, he's 15 now) and Damian wants to hate this kid because it seems like everyone in the family loves him, but he's the person who gives the most stability to the mansion and the family and he's the one who convinced Bruce to let him have a cat

Tim is still the smartest of the 3 brothers, he helps out with whatever he can, Superboy has a weird crush on him, he solves all of Nygma's riddles and brags about it on social media, he does his internships at WE but not out of necessity but because it's his father's company. Ra's has his eye on him for some reason ????? But fuck everyone, Ra's looks at him too much and his family will make sure that's the last thing he does

And Tim... he lives a normal life. He goes to college, he has friends outside of the masks, he is loved and he loves and... It's okay

And WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT IS THIS THOUGHT???? TIM BECOMING RED HOOD????????? WHAT?????? that's another post, lol

[oya-oya-okay]

Questions for No Yandere Sim AU! by @quartztwst 🐰

1. Does your OC have parents or family in the AU? If not, what is their current living situation?

Shuu has an older sister named Hagi. She's in the same class with her! But no information is known about their parents🤫🤫🤫

2. What are their thoughts on Quartz?

Shuu doesn't often notice Quartz, but when she sees her, she wants to talk to her + compliments, invite her for a walk/lunch with Azul!!💕💥💥 She thinks Quartz is a sweet, shy girl🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 And doesn't suspect anything about her XDD

👇👇👇👇👇

3. What is their thoughts and relationship with Azul? How did they meet Azul?

Shuu considers Azul to be a very cool guy, she admires him very much and wants to be friends with him, communicate, get married- AHEM- In general, she is head over heels in love with him with sincere love (which turned into an obsession), but she does not follow him or photograph him or do similar things. She just wants to spend time with him, chatting and chatting and chatting. They probably just met sometimes in the hallway, in class together, and so on, so she gradually fell in love with him, but quickly❤️

4. What are their relationships with other characters/OCs?

All the twst characters treat her neutrally, probably!!

But here's how Shuu treats other OCs!

• Shin by @liyuviq IS HER SUPER BEST FRIEND!!!💖💖💖 She was fascinated by them at first sight and wanted to make friends with them. She was probably the one who took the initiative🤗💕💕 and as a result, they are now friends, taking care of each other and spending time together!!😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ There is a possibility that she will then buy paired phone key chains for them💗

• Chiyo by @inotonline!! ANOTHER GOOD FRIEND, BESTIES!💕💕💕💕 Chiyo is very cool, beautiful and caring✨ Shuu may have started wearing hairpins and cute bows to look cuter and more beautiful thanks to her!!💖💓 Shuu was delighted with her and was shy at first, but then they found a common language and became friends💕

• Yuya by @cheerleaderman!! A GOOD FRIEND AT SCHOOL, IF SHE SAW YUYA IN THE HALLWAY, SHE WOULD DEFINITELY COME UP TO THEM TO CHAT OR HUG!💕💓💖💗💘❤️ She's very comfortable and fun with them! Sometimes Yuya really surprises Shuu, but it attracts her, not repels her!💕💕💕💕💕

• Yuu Shi by @boopshoops!! LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY, IT'S IDOL FOR SHUU!!💖💥✨ Yuu probably doesn't pay much attention to Shuu, XDD, but Shuu completely admires her!🛐🛐🛐 She would like to take photos with her often and maybe sometimes she behaves obsessively because she is very worried around her, hehe🤭🙃

• Yuuki by @theolivetree123!! Cute and scared🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭 Shuu has feelings for them, as if she saw some cute kitten, she would like to talk to them to make them feel more comfortable🙏💕💗 (BUT SHE PROBABLY CAN'T DO IT FOR YUUKI XD)

5. What grade/year is your OC?

Shuu is 16-18 years old but in this AU she's 17 years old (2nd year)

6. What is your OCs goal for the school year or in life?

Find a lot of good friends. Graduate and keep her friendship with Azul💖💖💖💗💗💗

7. Your OC is being framed for murder of another student by Quartz, how does your OC react to that? Does your OC know it's Quartz?

OMG Cry? SHE'LL PROBABLY BE SCARED. LMAO

8. Your OC notices Quartz carrying a weapon in her skirt pocket. That's strange since the female school uniforms don't have skirt pockets. Does your OC report this?

She would be super surprised😳😳😳 But it's unlikely that she would tell anyone about it!!🤝

9. Where is your OC usually with or at during school? Classes? With Azul? Skipping class? Where do they eat lunch?

Classes!!✨ She's a diligent student, XD. She always having lunch with her friends or sister, on the street!!

10. How are your OC's grades?

Not too bad but not too good either. AND THERE ARE CONSTANT 0 POINTS IN MATH-

[thewhumpcaretaker]

⚜ 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕎𝕙𝕠 ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕃𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝔽𝕠𝕣 - ℂ𝕙. 𝕏𝕍𝕀𝕀: 𝕊𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕤 𝕄𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕃𝕚𝕗𝕖 ⚜

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ ✧.*★ Thank you to @kavalyera for the beta read!

Summary: Vincent and Chidi withdraw to a more private winter home to escape the bustle of the High Table for a while. And it's helping - Vincent is getting better. ...But does that mean he won't need Chidi by his side anymore?

TW: mention of drug addiction, lots of angst

The master of the Gramont house set out again, leaving Il Palazzo as vacant as he had left Versailles. Where there was no conquering to be done, he and Chidi could never linger. Onward they went, chasing the frontier. Fittingly, the United States came first. New York. Dallas. Later, Osaka. Casablanca. Chidi watched these cities pass in front of him with mild curiosity. They interested him primarily for the power Vincent held over them. He traced the lines of Vincent’s network with his own footsteps, his own jet trails, and saw firsthand how power ensnared the whole globe. There was nowhere where anyone could possibly escape from the Marquis, and nowhere where the Marquis could escape his constant work. Christmas had come and gone by the time the alliance with Gianna had reached enough stability to give him a moment’s rest.

“À ce rythme-là, ils vont encore me mettre à terre. [They’ll run me into the fucking ground again at this rate,]” Vincent said, in a Beijing hotel, severely jet lagged. He lay prone, his face half buried in a pillow. It was the kind of night on which he was liable to whine about wanting a hit, and if Chidi wasn’t careful, he’d get one.

How many days had it been since the last slip-up? Eleven? That was a new streak. Chidi closed the curtains against the city lights and pulled his Marquis’ head into his lap. “Je suis fier de toi. Ils ne vous ont pas encore mis à terre, et je ne les laisserai pas. Que pouvons-nous faire ? [I’m proud of you. They haven’t run you into the ground yet, and I won’t let them. What can we do?]” Can I kill someone about it?

Vincent made a small, unhappy sound and blinked up at him cheerlessly. “…Je pense que j’aimerais devenir complètement inaccessible cet hiver. Disparaître de tout le monde. […I think I’d like to become completely unreachable this winter. Just disappear away from everyone.]” Very softly, “Sauf toi. [Except you.]”

“"Je ne voudrais rien de mieux, monsieur. [I’d like nothing better, sir,]” said Chidi, playing with his hair. “Où pouvons-nous nous retrouver enneigés ensemble ? [Where can we get snowed in together?]”

In the northern part of France, near Calais, the Gramont family kept a summer home (which Chidi quickly understood to mean a small castle dating back to the 16th century). Àlderic had barely set foot there, Vincent explained, but the young Comte had enjoyed a lovely few months there once when his father grew tired of him. “Il m'a plutôt envoyé déranger les tuteurs pendant un été. [He sent me away to bother the tutors for a summer instead],” said Vincent, and laughed in a way that tore Chidi’s heart open without noticing anything unusual about it. “Mais la plaisanterie était contre lui, car c’était le meilleur été de ma vie. Beaucoup de temps pour lire et pratiquer le piano, et courir autour du lac pour me lier d’amitié avec la sauvagine locale, au grand dam de ma nounou. [But the joke was on him, because it was the best summer of my life. Plenty of time to read and practice piano, and run around the lake making friends with the local waterfowl, much to my nanny’s chagrin.]”

Chidi smiled, picturing it easily. “Cela semble parfait. Même si vous aurez de la compagnie cette fois-ci. [It sounds perfect. Though you will have some company this time.]”

“…Je vais. […I will.]”

Chidi liked ”Château de la Lune” just fine. To the south, it overlooked a lake where he might go walking or riding anytime, and to the north, a vast forest of hunting grounds. It was a patchwork of eras, renovated several times and partially rebuilt in the wake of an 1850s fire, but retaining its old gothic grandeur in its west wing. Thanks to that eclecticism, it didn’t strike him as such as frighteningly rigid place as Versailles, nor even as curated as Il Palazzo. It simply was what it was – unique and historied and extremely comfortable.

Besides, he liked any place where Vincent was to be found, and where there was hardy work to be done. His friendships with Vincent’s attendants and secretaries and his own favorite trainees among the guards had grown into something dependable. He spent his days making sure that everything ran smoothly with all of them. But Vincent remained the one and only person who understood him not just in part, but in full. The Marquis was the only person who could motivate him not just to take general pride in his work, but to go into a kind of adrenaline-fueled frenzy over something as simple as making sure Vincent got the exact kind of crème brûlée that he wanted for dessert. To say that Chidi enjoyed this work would have been a vast understatement.

They were so perfectly settled. And Vincent had never struck him as a settled sort of person. Chidi waited for the restlessness, for the explosion. But instead, something heartier was unfurling in the evenings when Vincent sat playing him sonatas or dancing with him or joining him for an evening walk. The Marquis talked more. He made jokes. And when he went quiet, it was with calm, private reflection, not with emotional shutdown.

A reflection that Chidi couldn’t enter into.

He went quiet like this more and more often as the days turned to late February and the dismal cold started to wear on Chidi’s nerves. He had to be thinking about something, but wouldn’t say what. The Marquis had started to work alone in his study, to dismiss Chidi outright from time to time. But no matter how many times Chidi asked if he was okay (which provoked Vincent into irritation more than once), the answer was always the same – yes, he was perfectly content. And he could meet Chidi’s eyes when he said it. His voice no longer shook with concealed pain. He really was okay, and upon that realization, Chidi’s fear shifted.

He was watching Vincent pull away from him with newfound independence, he realized. He tried to be happy for him, and he was, sometimes so happy he could hardly contain the heartbreaking joy. But at the same time, it made him feel physically sick, adrift. Me, as Vincent's protector... What a joke. It's him who has protected me from purposelessness all these years, Chidi thought. First Vincent had been a daydream that he’d hoped for as a child, then the man he met and pined after, and then the lover he served. But this was the tragedy of his situation: that if he ever succeeded in healing the man he loved, what would be the need for him? Only then did he understand how much he needed Vincent.

Once, when Chidi could no longer contain himself, he asked, “Mon amour, tu penses que les choses changent entre nous ? [My love, do you think things are changing between us?]”

Vincent simply said, “Oui,” and smiled maddeningly. Chidi walked out that night into the forest. He walked until many layers of barren branches had hidden the lights of the castle windows, and the reflected glow of yesterday’s snowfall sparkled as the only, unearthly light under the stars. Then he screamed himself hoarse.

The worst part was that he couldn’t even blame Vincent. His favor had always been a fortunate and perhaps temporary blessing. He was the wildest person Chidi knew, and he loved him for that. To restrain him…it wasn’t worth seeing him trapped in yet another gilded cage.

So when Vincent announced that he planned to spend a few days without him in Paris, Chidi felt the ground drop out from under him. He had no real reason not to trust Vincent to go on his own. He couldn’t say no, even knowing that the reason could well be an affair or just…time away. Time enough to contemplate a permanent severance between them. The best he could manage was, “Je préférerais de loin vous accompagner, maître, pour votre sécurité. Es-tu sûr? [I would greatly prefer to go with you, master, for your safety. Are you sure?]” And Vincent said he was sure.

He kept in constant contact with the guards who did follow the Marquis. His fear, he told himself, was all for Vincent. A protective rage just like every other. But it didn’t abate when they told him that all was well. “He’s in the best spirits we’ve ever seen,” wrote his second-in-command. “Practically skipping. And no, not from intoxicants.” Chidi looked down to find that he’d shattered the glass tumbler he was holding.

Another text shattered him on the second night of Vincent’s trip, this time from Vincent himself. “Je rentre demain matin, tôt. Retrouve-moi au bord du lac à 7 heures. J'ai quelque chose à te dire. Habillez-vous bien – c’est important. [I am coming home tomorrow morning, early. Meet me by the lake at 7. I have something to say to you. Dress well – it’s important.]”

Chidi shut his phone and let his chest shudder with silent tears for five whole minutes before he could bring himself to answer. “Oui, monsieur.” And then his chest fully caved in, and for the rest of the night, he was, whether loudly or silently, inconsolable.

So it was with finality, with resignation, that he donned his grey suit for the last time, held his pin to the light till it flashed in his eyes, and stabbed twice through his lapel as he had done each and every day. One piercing on the way in, one on the way out, each one a rending deep in the fabric that left a small but irreparable hole. For your freedom, Vincent, I will tear out even Cupid’s arrow. I will do as you say.

It was the warmest morning in quite some time. There was mist over the lake, and it settled into Chidi’s skin and into his eyes, that vast damp blurring of an uncertain future. Would he at least be allowed to stay at Vincent’s side, enjoying the torturous sight of his master’s unreachable perfection? To guard the gate of a life into which he would never again be permitted? Damn it all, but he hoped for even that small pleasure. Because if he could never see him again…

But Chidi couldn’t bear to think of that after catching sight of the Marquis, picking his way over the dormant winter grass in riding boots. He must have risen hours ago and seen to his appearance somewhere on the road, in a hotel perhaps. That majesty might look unstudied, but Chidi alone knew the effort that went into it, the thought and the fretting. His own morning routine seemed like nothing to him by comparison. Vincent’s lips, pinkened by the chill of morning, kissed him softly while the dew beaded on his polished shoes and kissed his ankles with flecks of sweet cold where the grass had poked its way under his starched hems. He let himself be present in his body and hold the Marquis, their breath intermingling in air, looking out across the dawn in silence.

There, on that glassy surface turned to agate by the rising sun, a pair of swans circled. The first of the spring. “J'ai entendu dire qu'ils s'accouplent pour la vie. [I’ve heard they mate for life],” said Chidi. “Quand l’un meurt, l’autre aussi. [When one dies, so does the other.]”

“J'ai entendu dire qu'ils pouvaient tuer un dogue allemand avec leur bec nu, [I’ve heard they can kill a great dane with their bare beaks],” said Vincent, “pour être sûr que cela n'arrive pas. [to make sure that doesn’t happen.]” For a second, Chidi almost laughed, but he didn’t trust the choked sound that came out of him, and quieted it back into soberness.

He turned to his master, searching. His eyes came up against a wall of porcelain and glass and placid smiles. In his desperation, he found himself asking for the first time, “À quoi pensez-vous, monsieur ? Vous me désavantagez, et je – [What are you thinking, sir? You have me at a disadvantage, and I -]” His voice broke against that impenetrable wall. “Je sais que tu n'as plus besoin de moi. Je suis si heureux de te voir plus heureux. Je ne peux tout simplement pas supporter ce... suspense quand je sais que tu... finis-en, juste – [I know you don’t need me anymore. I’m so glad to see you happier. I just can’t take this…suspense when I know that you…just get it over with, just - ]” He narrowly prevented himself from collapsing onto Vincent’s shoulder and instead turned the other way, face hidden by his hands.

“Chidi. Non, Oh mon Dieu, je ne voulais pas dire… [Chidi. No. Oh god, I didn’t mean…]” Vincent’s arms were around him then. “C'était un plan stupide. S'il te plaît, ne pleure pas. Je n’aurais peut-être pas dû être aussi mystérieux, mais ce n’est pas comme si je voulais tout gâcher… [It was a stupid plan. Please don’t cry. I shouldn’t have been so mysterious maybe, but it’s not like I meant to ruin it…]”

“Attendez. Quoi? Détruire quoi ? Non, vous n'avez rien fait de mal. Je comprends. Tu n'es plus obligé de me vouloir, c'est juste – c'est juste dur pour moi, je suis désolé – [Wait. What? Ruin what? No, you haven’t done anything wrong. I understand. You don’t have to want me anymore I just – it’s just hard for me, I’m sorry – ]”

Vincent grabbed him by both shoulders so roughly that he was shocked out of his tears. “JE te veux! Bien sûr, je te veux. C’est exactement de cela dont il s’agit. [I DO want you! Of course I want you. That’s exactly what this is about.]”

“… Je ne pense pas savoir ce que tu dis. […I don’t think I know what you’re saying.]”

Vincent just pulled him close, and whispered, “Soyons heureux, d'accord ? C'est un moment spécial. Il y a un photographe sur la colline qui va le capturer, alors… dis-moi quand tu te sens prêt. [Let’s be happy okay? This is a special moment. There’s a photographer on the hill who’s going to capture it, so…tell me when you feel ready.]”

Chidi hastily tried to clean up his face on his sleeve, but he still wasn’t following. “D'accord. Je vais bien, je suis prêt. Mais je ne le fais vraiment pas… [Okay. I’m okay, I’m ready. But I really don’t…]”

And then he looked back to Vincent to find him on one knee.

“Oh.”

Vincent, he realized, was faintly shaking. So was he, rather more violently.

“Dios mío… [Oh my god…]”

Time went surreally slow. With the motions of a person underwater, the Marquis was pulling a small velvet box from the pocket of his overcoat. To his surprise, Vincent spoke in somewhat stilted, practiced Spanish. “Una vez me devolviste algo que pensabas que había dejado caer. Me lo devolviste cuando sentí que... como si no tuviera nada. Me encontraste en mi punto más bajo y me ayudaste incluso entonces. Eso fue más que una amabilidad. Cambiaste mi vida permanentemente con ese acto. Pero aquí está el problema: quería dejarlo. Lo intenté para que lo disfrutaras, porque quería que hubiera alguna conexión entre nosotros. Así que ahora te lo doy de nuevo. Para siempre. [You once returned to me something that you thought I had dropped. You gave it back to me when I felt like – like I had nothing. You found me at my lowest, and helped me even then. That was more than a kindness. You changed my life permanently with that act. But here’s the problem: I meant to drop it. I intended it for you to enjoy, because I wanted there to be some connection between us. So now, I’m giving it to you again. Forever.]”

There in the box: a gold ring, with a band of clear resin at its core. And embedded in that band, amongst flecks of gold leaf, were flecks of white. “El pétalo de rosa blanca. [The white rose petal.]”

Vincent nodded, unable to speak. Finally, he managed it. “¿Quieres casarte conmigo, Chidi? [Will you marry me, Chidi?]”

And again, Chidi saw that bottomless depth in his eyes. That desperate, hidden thing that had called out to him with irresistible compulsion from the first sight. Vulnerability.

And again, he answered its call. “Sí. Dios, sí. [Yes. God, yes.]”

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Image Sources: One | Two

[604to647]

(Late Night) WIP Wednesday Thursday

Thank you for the tags @milla-frenchy @galway-girlatwork @joelmillerisapunk @baronessvonglitter 🥰🥰 Had an odd week and didn't write a lot, but managed to write a little of a lot of different things 🤣 (Unfortunately, no progress on the Acacius Hockey AU except for this and this).

Thank you for the kind reception on my first Dear-uary submission (What's a TomDaya?), the second entry will be for our dear Timothy Rockford and his Shutterbug, and it will be HORNEE (the epistolary form is SEXTING 🫠🤭):

Everything about the photo exudes control, skill, competency.  Your mouth suddenly felt very dry even as your pussy gushed; before you could register its actions, your free hand skimmed up past the hem of Tim’s t-shirt, delicate fingers starting to rub soft circles over the front of your already drenched panties as you gawked at the very picture of dominance and prowess projecting from your phone.

I also started working on my first ever Dieter fic (eek!) for @happypedrohours' Bouquets of Pedro Creativity Challenge! The working title is "Crawling Back to You (Dieter's Version)", heavily influenced by Hozier's cover of "Do I Wanna Know"; two quick snippets:

Detox had been a fucking nightmare but Dieter likes the voices in his head now.  They’re gentler with him, more forgiving, thoughtful.  They sound like you.

He couldn’t even bring himself to do you the disservice of asking you to wait, or stay by his side but hidden.  It was beneath you.  And to ask was to break his promise.

Turns out he didn’t even need to ask for you to feel the full weight of his betrayal. 

Hmmm, what else, what else? More The Rockford Portfolio, perhaps? How about some hurt/comfort?

Still, the sting of seeing you with someone else stays with him as he stumbles out of the coffeeshop, vendor's stall, grocery store and Tim tries leaning against the wall, a tree, his car to steady himself.  It doesn’t help in the least.  Doubling over, the pain in his chest balloons and threatens to suffocate him; deep breaths deliver no air to his lungs, the excruciating mass of regret too much in the way.  He can’t breathe.  He can’t breathe.  He can’t.

And... some young!Frankie who's having a rough go of a friends-to-lovers fic:

As soon as he lands, Frankie turns off airplane mode and the sudden influx of cell service after six weeks has his phone practically vibrating out of his hand from all the messages and notifications he’s missed.  He only cares about whether or not there are any messages from you, and when he sees that there are, he reads them in quick succession. There are only seven:

How were the pups this morning? Thanks so much again for walking Mac for me.  I really needed that extra half hour of sleep 😉

How’s your day going so far?  Mine is stupid busy with work, but I should be able to leave on time today!

Frankie!!! Thank you so much for the croissant! I love that bakery.  And thank you for the sweet note, too

Goodnight!

Frankie?  Is everything okay?  I’m worried about you.

Are you going to McKibbon’s tomorrow?

You didn’t come tonight.  Is it because of me?

His chest constricts at the evident change in mood and tone over the span of these messages, and especially at the sadness that radiates from the last one.

Huh. Lots of angst, eh? Yeesh - told you it's been an odd week! Ha!

No tags because I'm so late but anyone who is late like me but wants to share please dooooo 🥰🥰

[something-in-red]

I keep thinking about my Divine!Kiran au that I talked to @rosymaraschino about and I can't sleep.

● Askr and Lærder are married, Kiran, the would be summoner, is the first child they had. They were a happy little family for a while, then Baldr appeared.

● Alfador claims that Kiran would to become the biggest threat the nine realms has ever seen and so Baldr was dispatched to 'deal' with them.

● Askr and Lærder ain't having none of that but can't do anything against Baldr and an order from Alfador, Baldr is actually conflicted about following through with her orders. On one hand, Alfador's visions always come true, on the other hand, Kiran is just a baby.

● Askr gets the idea of sending Kiran away, Lærder is against this at first but relents once he hears him out.

● There is a world that is incredibly difficult to open a gate to, and even more difficult to find. It is called the World of Steel.

● The World of Steel is so isolated from all other worlds that it doesn't even have magic. And extension, Alfador or anyone from the nine realms can't reach it.

● Askr argued that if Kiran were to be sent to the World of Steel, the child would effectively be banshied from the nine realms and therefore cannot be a threat to them.

● Baldr considers this, but asks if they're alright with sending their child away, never to see them again. Lærder yells at her of course they're not alright but what choice do they have? Going against Alfador is suicide.

● Askr and Baldr set out to secure the gate to the World of Steel, once thats done Lærder then follows with Kiran in hand.

● The two divine gods say a tearful farewell to their first child, before sending him through the portal and praying that they lead a good life.

● Baldr reports back to Alfador that now that Kiran is banished, there is no need to worry about the threat they will pose in the future.

● Alfador seems to agree at first, however, when Baldr leaves it's clear that he wants the child dead anyways. With the World of Steel out of his reach there is little he can do about.

Askr and Lærder later had more children (Ash+the Healing Hand) but never told them about Kiran, their abrupt loss is a wound that never healed.

[liminalmemories21]

Fuck It Friday

tagged by @rcmclachlan - thank you!

A day late, but showing up nonetheless.

Remember when we used to write? Before work got insane for both @cecilyv and me? The halcyon days of December.

Anyway, a piece from before I stopped getting home at the end of the day absolutely brain dead and fried. From what has a google doc title of Academic AU. Side note, we've tried to write an academic AU in at least two previous fandoms, and I'm believing in third time lucky.

Tommy stares at the tweet, skeet, whatever.  The post.  Irritated with his hesitation.  The syllabus has not gotten empirically worse since the last time he taught this class last year.  He’s the one a year older, a year more calcified.  Feeling like he’s tilting at windmills. Or like he’s Charlie Brown chasing after the football of tenure.  The university always holding it just out of reach. Sighs and hits post.  Goes back to his inbox.  Deletes the perennial email about the photocopier.  Deletes the email about the meeting room reservation policy reminder.  Eyes the email about the university’s new policy on ChatGPT, and makes a bet with himself about whether they’ll have made some kind of sane decision. Sees a reply to his post come through with something like shock.  In the seven years he’s been teaching this class nobody has ever responded to his tweet - skeet, post, whatever - about the syllabus.  He’s not convinced anyone’s ever actually read his syllabus before they show up in class the first week of the semester. ____________________ @ebuckley.bsky.social Are you running nap time up there in Reno?  #inquiringmindswanttoknow He stares at it and has no idea how to respond.  Hadn’t honestly expected to hear from Evan Buckley ever again, except maybe in passing from Hen or Chim.  Except he doesn’t talk to them that much any more, and Evan had never come up before, no reason he’d come up now. Types and deletes and retypes a response - trying to match Evan’s tone, even though he’s always been terrible at reading tone when he can’t see the person saying the thing. Thomas Kinnard, Prof. American Military History, UNV @tkinnard.bsky.social Are you implying I’m boring? Stares at the screen and waits for a response.  Gets one immediately, like Evan had also been waiting for a response.  Isn’t sure what to make of that.  If he should make anything of it.  Maybe Evan’s just bored. ____________________ @ebuckley.bsky.social  I would never call you boring. Your syllabus, on the other hand…

I'm late, so open tag to anyone who wants to play.