#montana the donkey

[laf-outloud]

@genpadalecki Don’t make any donkey assumptions, it makes an ass outta you and me

Welcome to the Padalecki ranch, Merlin and Montana! So much cuteness!

[woodsfae]

Look at them. They are so small

[keytomind]

My best friend at the greatest Airbnb on the planet!

My Montana adventure is coming to an end, but I’m celebrating another birthday as well as I found my new home out here and I can’t wait to take my talents out west to the great state of Montana 🤠

[jhsharman]

Oh So Pretty

Reggie in the fourth one, Jughead in the ninth, Fred Andrews in the 13th. The rest is Archie, who has various reasons he needs to put on a dress.

The theme tapers off considerably, and my hunch is it would be another three decades to produce this number of cross dressing instances (through a considerably increased output of comics) -- though possibly it could be an easy enough go-to for lazy one and half page gags such that I am wrong.

[toomanypicrews]

[yeoldenews]

For all my fellow name nerds out there, I am very pleased to present the second annual "Gloyd Roberson Memorial List of Actual Human Children Who Wrote Letters to Santa in 1920s/30s Oklahoma".

These aren’t all necessarily “weirder than Gloyd” but fall into three rough categories which I’ve dubbed: “that’s got a nice ring to it”, “if I used this in a novel it would be considered too unrealistic” and “you’ve got 5 seconds to name a character that lives in 1920s Oklahoma, GO!”:

Selvyn Atteberry

Dyer Banfield

Bert Baxter

Hilda Bender

Imogene Berry

Heloise Blakely

Burl Boyer

Clyda Pearl Boyington

Okal Brooks

Vada Jo Bricker

Deverett Brumley

Lee Roy Buck

Vivian May Burdue

Donnie Buster

Elmarie Button

Junior Buzzard

Melchor Caldex

Tycene Calhoun

Tiny Bell Callison

Dapalene Caywood

Edney Clopton

Buster Combs

Georgia Countryman

Vantruba Crockett

Alto Day

Buddie DeWayne

Violet Divine

Elwanda Downing

Cletys Durham

Thurlo Epps

Apple Fields

Floyd Fleetwood

Metherine Franklin

Ula Fay French

Wanda Jo Fronterhouse

Irline Fuller

Jack Gritzmaker

J. D. Grizzle

Billie Jean Gulley

Joline Hardcastle

Kaloolah Herrill

Thelias Hatfield

Elva Heavins

Coleman Hewlett

Helen Hillhouse

Virgil Holderby

Katymae Houston

Myree Huffstutlar

Estelline Hurrypack

Blondie Huhm

Lila Lou Jackson

Denver Jones

Vernell Lambert

Sonny Boy Lockart

Dinkey Long (autocorrect really wanted this to be Donkey Kong)

Bamma Lynn

Rep Madden

Standford Mann

Jack Mattingly

Goldia McGee

Madge Messinger

Mauzell Mullins

Jeffie Wayne Muskrat

Archibald Neighbors

Hazel Nickerson

Eulah Oakley

Lyle Oyler

Milburn Partain

Jackson Payne

Montana Phillips

Bobbie Dean Phoenix

Toots Putman

Madonna Mae Rickey

Cyprine Robertson

Juanelle Schneeberger

Billie Jean Sparks

Texanna Smith

Pansy Stetson

Patsy Ruth Stubblefield

Eldon Sweezy

Hoy Trotter

Pearl Vandorien

Leland Weems

Joe Bob West

Wayness Whitely

Buster Wyatt

John Ira Youngblood

Domby Zinn

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Kevin Robillard and Arthur Delaney at HuffPost:

CHICAGO ― Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer stood on stage at the Democratic National Convention and made a very bold prediction. “We’re going to hold the Senate again, and we’re poised to pick up seats,” he told the delegates in the United Center. The fact Schumer feels confident in his prediction reflects the remarkable strength of most Democratic incumbents in swing states. But it also flies in the face of a tough reality for Democrats: Even if they win every swing state race, it might not be enough to get them control of the U.S. Senate. To keep the word “majority” in Schumer’s title, Democrats will need to win at least one of three states where Republican nominee Donald Trump is a significant favorite in November: Texas, Florida or Montana. Each of the three states presents distinct challenges for the party, and it’s difficult to describe them as favored in any of the three.

It’s the culmination of a long-standing problem for the party: The Senate’s bias toward rural states advantages the GOP’s political coalition, forcing Democrats to repeatedly pitch the political equivalent of perfect games to stay in control of Congress’ upper chamber. Republicans clearly believe the social conservatism of those voters will be more than enough for them to flip the Senate, with a win in West Virginia essentially guaranteed following the retirement of Sen. Joe Manchin (I-W. Va.). Democrats currently have a 50-49 edge in the chamber.

“Securing the border is top of mind for voters, and Senate Democrats are delusional if they think they’re going to win with candidates like Colin Allred, Debbie Mucarsel-Powell and Sen. Jon Tester, who have long records of opposing border security,” said Torunn Sinclair, the communications director for Senate Leadership Fund, a super PAC controlled by allies of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. In Montana, Democrats have the advantage of incumbency, but it might not be enough for Sen. Jon Tester (D-Mont.) to overcome a challenge from Republican Tim Sheehy. In Texas and Florida, Democrats are running against unpopular GOP incumbents Ted Cruz and Rick Scott, but are also on long-standing statewide losing streaks.

The road for the Democrats to retain even a 50+VP majority, let alone an outright one, in the Senate will be a very tough one, as West Virginia is assured of flipping Republican.

For the Donkeys to keep control, they need to either have Kamala Harris/Tim Walz win the Presidency and no other Democratic candidate lose (50+VP scenario), or flip either Texas and/or Florida and keep what they got.

[murdercide626]

"ENEMIES OF GAIA"

aka "Defilers of the Earth!"

aka "Awesome Possum's Hit List"

Hexxus (FernGully: The Last Rainforest)

Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Dario Agger/"The Minotaur" (Marvel Comics)

Dr. Barbara Blight (Captain Planet)

King K. Rool (Donkey Kong Country)

Dr. Neo Cortex (Crash Bandicoot)

Montana Max (Tiny Toon Adventures)

Cyril Sneer (The Raccoons)

Capital B (Yooka-Laylee)

Rebecca Madison (Phantom 2040)

Hedorah (Godzilla)

Duke Nukem (Captain Planet)

Megatox (Sonic the Comic)

Diesel Weasel (Rick and Morty)

Fire Lord Ozai (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Dr. Killemoff (Toxic Crusaders)

C. Montgomery Burns (The Simpsons)

Rufus Shinra (Final Fantasy VII)

Hoggish Greedly (Captain Planet)

Gruntilda Winkybunion (Banjo-Kazooie)

Porky Minch (Mother 3)

Fenton Sludge (Goof Troop)

Lawrence Limburger (Biker Mice from Mars)

Dr. Machino (Awesome Possum... Kicks Dr. Machino's Butt)

[jungle-angel]

The One With The Sex Manual: Part 2 (Frat!Rhett Abbott x Reader)

Summary: Rhett's Kamasutra 101 lessons continue

Warnings: Hilariously filthy and depraved sexual acts, smut, references to sexual intercourse, frat boy weirdness etc. See Urban Dictionary for details (lol).

Tagging: @floydsmuse @callmemana @attapullman @sebsxphia

"Alright, so seeing yas ya'll have been studying this chapter thoroughly," Rhett said to the new pledges. "Lets get back into it. Kelso, what position is chapter two, section eight?"

"Camel ride," Danny Kelso answered.

"And how is this performed?" Ravi Sharma queried, trying so hard not to snicker as he scratched it off on the chalkboard.

"Receiving partner lies on his/her side with the uppermost leg forward. The penetrating partner kneels astride the receiver's lowermost leg, thus gaining access to either vagina or ass. Good for pregnancy, or for overweight partners. Experiment, as one side usually gives better alignment than the other for any given pairing," Danny explained.

"EXCELLENT!" Rhett exclaimed. "Ten points to Gryffindor!"

"Um.....Professor Abbott?" Stephen Rodriguez said, raising his hand. "What's the Montana Mating Press?"

"I put that one in there," Ravi chuckled. "That's where ya'll make a giant pillow mountain and then fuck your partner stupid in the mating press position while ya'll pray that you don't fall off the bed."

"You've tried this?" Rhett laughed.

"Dude, my people fucking INVENTED the sex manual," Ravi pointed out.

"What's the Screwnicorn?" Joey Castro enquired.

"Ah, Joey, I'm glad ya'll asked," Rhett chuckled. "That's where two partners are crawlin around on all fours with a strap-on tied to their heads, tryin to penetrate each other. That act can be found in the sex manuals of the Phi Gamma Kappa sorority, as it was often performed by drunken sorority sisters."

You had been sitting in the corner, trying to hide your laughter while the pledges busted out laughing, all of them going completely red in the face as Rhett and the others kept going into all the filthy details. They hadn't been wrong. Many a time, you yourself had been witness to The Screwnicorn in the hallways of the Phi Gamma house during a rager.

"Wait, Tony Danza is a sex position?" Flounder asked.

"Yeah that one we don't do," Rhett told him. "If it involves donkey punching your partner, don't do it unless they're a real asshole."

"Ok so that means we skip over Hot Donkey?"

"YES!!!!!!" Rhett told him, his eyes going wide as he gave a fervent nod.

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. You knew that in a house full of men, there would be sexual depravity, but this was ludicrously funny.

"Alright class is dismissed for the day," Rhett told them. "Make sure next time ya'll bring your manuals and we'll continue. Professor Sharma, Professor Andreola and Professor Dutton will be joining us so make sure ya'll are prepared."

As soon as the pledges had left the room, you wrapped your arms around Rhett's waist, kissing his shoulder hidden beneath the fabric of his blue button-down while a teasing finger found its way into the beltloop of his jeans.

"Ya know," you said. "We've got an extra two days off before the start of spring break."

You could hear the eager, needy purr in his throat as you rubbed his belly a little.

"I'll take that as a yes," you chuckled.

"My room.....five minutes, we'll have the whole afternoon to ourselves," he groaned as he pulled you around and buried his face in your neck, tickling you with his soft, smooth, freshly shaved cheeks.

And you gladly obliged.

[westadventure24]

Day 3 - Unexpected Ending to a Perfect Day

The navigator must have done a great job helping her dad get on the right road to Custer State Park since we are here and ready to hit the hay at Legion Lake Campground.

After arrival this afternoon, we cruised around the wildlife loop, where I was anxiously hoping to see my favorite….wild burros. I started to fret as we were more than halfway around the loop and we had only seen a few pronghorn antelope from a distance. Todd assured me not to worry…the time would come. The road kept winding and then we saw the largest herd of bison so far. There were many mamas with their spring calves. Some running to keep up with the group. So sweet!

So, we followed the herd and FINALLY saw a pack of donkeys with several babies themselves! Who could ask for anything better? I loaded my pockets with carrots and out we all went to make new friends. Mom was quite timid at first, but could quickly see the gentle soul of a donkey. Dad, being a true farmer, had no concerns with making these new friends. Todd found one specific little guy who followed him the entire time we were with the herd. I love them all, but there was an old fellow who seemed ever so lonely that I loved best. I could have stayed all day, but we had to move along to go to the Chuckwagon dinner.

What a great time that was! They first made certain that everyone had a mandatory cowboy hat. You didn’t think we brought those from home, did you?? The wagon train ride through the wilderness was entertaining in many ways…saw some deer, turkeys and some more pronghorn antelope. Cowboy Keith told us of his homesteading ancestors, history of the land and led us in some sing-along songs. While we didn’t know them all, we sang along with the ones we did! Upon arrival at the hollow, the cowboys and cowgirls served us up a steak with all the normal Chuckwagon grub. The singing continued and there was even some dancing in honor of a couple celebrating 42 years of wedded bliss…we all know all everyday of all 42 years were likely not blissful, but we can pretend for this story. Dad and I went up to join in with some of the others…as expected, Mom and Todd had no interest. The father daughter dance turned out to be a hot mess, but we definitely had a good laugh.

The night ended with two lovely surprises! Ryan and Canyon caught up to us on their route to Montana and came over for a nice evening around the campfire ring….and so did a BIG bison!! Luckily he was at the campsite across from us!!! No lie…see the photographic evidence below. Once again, I say HOLY BISON Batman!!!

For all we have already experienced, I can’t believe it is only Day 3. May the rest of this trip be just as enjoyable. Starting tomorrow with Mt. Rushmore!

[hermesserpent-stuff]

Ok how about something light and fun, the whole spider nephew family together playing Mario kart? Who do they play as, who has the worst luck, and who is the most competitive? I can only imagine the chaos and I find it hilarious.

So! I haven't played much Mario Cart since the Gameboy advanced days. (And gameboy color but can't recall if the game was on that) so I think my answer will not be 100% correct. That said:

Montana: mostly just plays up not knowing what's going on and constantly drives of the track. Can he play well? No one knows for sure. He is Mario tho.

Ox- Bowser. Plays okay.middle of the pack.

Dan- wants to win. Was best until Peter came along. King boo main.

Quen- really into it. Will always use shells on people. Mains Luigi.

Harry- sucks. And always is last. Worst luck too when it comes to items. Is daisy

Peter- funky Kong. Best player with little practice. Mid tere luck

Rhino-back of the pack. Toad.

Sandman- dry bones super lucky. Consistently second or third.

Electro: donkey Kong. Mid tere driver. Very competitive

^-^

[laf-outloud]

@Tee-Spud Poitou Donkeys We had the pleasure of delivering Tee-Spud PoiTou Merlin and Texas Poitou Donkeys Montana today. They are already loved and will be well taken care of. Thank you Gen and Jared for your hospitality and for being a part of saving this incredible breed.

Donkeys!!! Awe! Merlin and Montana are so cute! (So are the Padaleckis!)

(I'm guessing the goats will still reign as assholes, though!)

[kdawn0201]

The donkeys pose for the best selfies with Montana

[dehvastation]

Nice Surprise Part 1 (With @DesolateBadass)

Dehv: ~ I sat back in the plane and crossed my arms. Looking at the only other person in the back with me. A human who looked like he wanted to piss his pants, despite the uniform he wore. Surely I wasn’t the worst he’d seen in battle? Maybe I was, and if that were the case, I sort of hoped it stayed that way. Because if he saw worse, it meant he was on the front line, and that sucked. 

“You doing ok?”

I figured being nice might help, I could talk the hind legs off a donkey, so I wasn’t all that bothered about making this guy feel at home. His nod was all I got, but he was still all doe eyed and slack jawed. 

Fuck this mission.

Wrath had pulled me into the office to tell me that he had a little problem, and while he was aware that there was other shit I could be doing, and that he’d ordered me to do, that now it had to wait. I was up for a mission, solo, that he needed urgent attention on.

Did I remember the Band of Bastards, yes, excellent, this was worse.

I had to go on a plane, at night, in the cargo hold and one single human to check I wasn’t sabotaging anything. Though, I was unsure of what he was meant to do if I started on a rampage, he looked about ready to melt into the metal. I was nearly 100% sure he wasn’t going to even remember he had a gun, let alone figure out how to get it up and fucking use it if I so much as sneezed in his general direction.

I rolled my eyes again at the lack of interaction and instead focused on my phone. I was going to Montana, to the arse end of nowhere. There’d been some attacks there, and they weren’t being done by humans. Or at least, didn’t appear to be humans. If it was a human then they were mimicking us quite nicely. If it wasn’t then I needed to scout out the area and check what was going on. 

The BoB came out of nowhere to try and assassinate Wrath, and we weren’t having that happen again. As our world grew a bit bigger each year, we were growing as a Brotherhood. But it also meant we were shipped off to various places to check for potential threats. While Wrath was King, he didn’t have eyes everywhere.

The plane shuddered and I checked on the human guard, he twitched and I smiled slightly.

“Just turbulence, we’ll be landing shortly. Congrats on still being alive.”

His eyes went wide again and I rolled my own as I exhaled hard. They were exhausting. How the hell did I ever fit in with them, or run a business with them. I had no patience with it now. 

Just get me the fuck off this damn plane.

I checked my phone clock and then my messages, seeing a few idiot replies from the Brotherhood. I was fortunate that I had unique relationships with them all, and I wasn’t taking that for granted. I quickly replied to them all, even taking a toothy selfie of myself with the guard in the background to send it to Rhage. The crying laughing emoji I got back made me snort. 

Finally we landed, and just in time. I could tell that we were getting close to dawn from the tingle in my spine.

I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder, hurrying through the private terminal to the closest hotel I could find. I paid cash for the day, knowing I’d be moving further into the sticks come the evening, and got into the room just as the first rays of sun started to peek over the horizon. 

I breathed a sigh of relief, then shut myself in the bathroom for the day. It was a pain in the ass, but the curtains were not blackout here, and that meant that I needed solid walls between me and the sun. Uncomfortable, but I’d been in worse. 

I unpacked the necessities I’d brought with me and got myself comfortable with my tablet propped up on top of the toilet lid. If Vishous had access to cameras and there had been any in here, the whole Brotherhood would be pissing themselves laughing at me huddled between the bog and the bath. 

I just had to make it 10 hours and I’d be free again to roam. 

Ten fucking hours. ~

Wilder: The loud blast of the ringtone waking me up from a dead sleep, silencing the call. I had been running myself ragged the past few days simply to distract myself. There was a lot going on and I felt the need to just sleep off a bit of stress. Liam and Cassie had finally started to embrace what they felt for each other and I couldn’t be happier for them. They were off on a camping trip to figure it all out and I encouraged them to go. This was a long time coming for them and the pair deserved a chance to get to know each other in this new light without interruptions. 

We had Sage settling in and Jess rolling back into town. Not to mention a few other things that needed to be sorted out on top of everything. I was burning the candle at both ends, something I’d do just to keep me out of my head.

A second call came through and I knew I had to answer it. A tired groan escapes my lips, opening one eye to see Jackson’s face on the screen, swiping my finger to answer it. “You do know it’s…..Fucking six AM?” I pull the covers up over my head, the sun creeping in through the curtains of my room. Not ready to get up just yet. “What’s up, man?”

I listened to him state that another attack had happened. “Fucking hell. Alright, I’m up.” So much for a day off. 

For the past two months there had been a string of ‘Animal attacks’ in Red Lodge. Everytime we went to the site of the scene the scent for sure wasn’t a wolf. These attacks weren’t coming from one of my pack members. I was extremely territorial and protective of the life my family had built for our pack and wasn't about to let anything jeopardize us or the locals. Whatever this threat was, we had to eliminate it to make sure our cover wasn’t blown. 

I had already dealt with Sheriffs coming to the Shaw Wolf Sanctuary poking around. I had to show proof that there weren't any flaws in the perimeter fencing and that all ‘wolves’ were accounted for. There was only one way in and out of my pack lands that was gated and guarded 24/7. 

Kneeling down next to the corpse, my gaze scanning his lifeless frame. We were excellent trackers but for whatever reason the scent of the attacker would disappear and it was unknown to us. “This makes three kills…” I trail off knowing the victim personally, sighing thinking about how devastated their family would be. 

The breeze picks up and I inhale a deep breath. I knew every pack member's scent and I was frustrated to be at yet another deadend. “Whoever this is and whatever they are, they aren't staying here in town. It's like their scent simply vanishes. We have to up our patrols and find the pattern.” I state firmly as I try to connect the dots the best I could. 

Every victim had two puncture marks on their neck, drained of blood. I had heard about Vampires, but they were never a real threat to us or my town. Nor did I really believe they were real. It felt as if this was almost deliberate to draw attention to my pack. My guess was if Vampires were a thing and we had never crossed paths before, they were probably just as confused to stumble onto us. “Ain’t no fucking way…” I mumble in disbelief. 

I stood outside Whiskey Row just as the sun was setting. Watching the deep orange with pastel pinks paint the blue sky. Jackson, standing next to me. “Portal on the outskirts of town all set up?” I asked even if I could feel my pack members and where they were located, seeing Jackson nod out of the corner of my eye. “Good, there won’t be another attack on our fucking town.” My bright blue eyes shifted to a shade of midnight blue, geared up and ready for whatever the night brought us. 

Dehv: ~ I groaned and rolled over, my hands stretching high above my head, and then scrubbing over tired eyes. That plane journey hadn’t been fun, my first time on one, and as light as I made of the situation, I didn’t like being out of my comfort zone.

“You a dust pile yet?”

I snorted and sent back the middle finger emoji to Rhage before I sat up, putting my phone down only to have it ring again. I checked who it was and saw Z’s name, which was like the sun setting and me not turning to dust. Z didn’t speak on the phone, so it was either a butt dial, a prank or an emergency.

“You ok, Z?” Figured I’d go with emergency.

“You there, safe, made it through the day?”

I ‘yepped’ them all and then he grunted and I heard rustling, then “This is important, we’ve had word of another attack the night you arrived.” I sat straighter at Wrath’s voice and nodded quietly to myself. “You’ll not have seen it yet as the sun is only just setting. Get on it. Into town, look around and check the surrounding farmland. They’ll be out when you are out, I want you safe. Do not get involved in confronting them, there might be more than one.”

I signed and nodded. My King was not one to mess with. 

And he meant now. 

I hung up, showered, changed, loaded up on hidden weapons and then checked outside, ensuring it was quiet before checking out and dematting a few miles further into the woods, disappearing and reappearing until I reached the edge of town.

I checked my watch and then tried to blend in. Uncertain as to why no one bat an eyelid at a tall ass male wandering around. I was used to people moving out the way, scurrying away, crossing the street. The people here seemed totally at ease. Which put me on edge. 

I grabbed a map of the local area, and saw there were a few bars, restaurants, a little club as well as shops that would traditionally be open in the daytime. I wasn’t going to demat places, that would be too obvious if I just disappeared from one place and turned up somewhere else. But I also knew that wandering around was a sure fire way to alert whoever it was to my presence if they were out and about.

I started off checking out back alleys as I got to them, but there was nothing much I could see out of place beside the odd disgruntled human. I made sure to visit all the crime scenes as I passed to see if I could pick up anything that had been missed. But the forensic teams seem to have done their jobs remarkably well, for humans. 

After a few hours I was starting to get hungry, and a little annoyed that nothing had turned up. The faster I found this fucker, the quicker I could pack my bags and go home. I’d taken a few minutes to check into a hotel in town earlier in the evening, so I felt a little safer once the sun went down. This one had blackout curtains. I looked around the local area I was standing in to find somewhere that seemed to be doing food, but wasn’t a restaurant, and wandered inside. Smiling at the lady at the till.

“Table for one, please.”

I thanked her and sat in the corner, facing the door. Poured a glass of water and then focused on the menu. My stomach rumbled just as she left, and I smiled at her, trying not to stick out like a sore thumb, but feeling totally out of place. I kept one eye on the door, and hopefully looked far more relaxed than I felt while deciding what to eat and drink. I needed to stock up in case shit went south and I didn’t get another chance before dawn. ~

Wilder: Heading into Whiskey Row with Jackson, I try my best to carry on with the night. It proved to be difficult as I focused on everything around me including scents. Human… human… I felt like a man being obsessed waiting for this uninvited guest to possibly make their way to Whiskey Row. 

My phone vibrates with a call and I swipe my thumb over the screen. “Aren’t you working at the restaurant tonight?” I ask as I answer the call, hearing Amber turn on a blender. “Yes, and a very tall man just came in, never seen him before. He is pretty damn sexy though... But, I’m digressing. Table for one, sits in the corner like you tend to do facing the door.” I could hear her hushed tone and knew she was using the blender to block out our conversation from someone who she thought might have advanced hearing. A smirk tugs at my lips. It paid off to have some human’s know about us and be eyes in our town. 

“Attagirl, whatever you do, don't be alone with them. Use your gift of gab, I'm on my way.” I motion Jackson over, pointing to my phone and mouthing Amber’s name. 

That’s all it took for him to know where I was headed. Amber’s family was close to mine and she knew the truth about us being her grandfather was someone my father trusted. “Keep your distance. Got it?” Amber agrees and we hang up. 

Doing as instructed, she cut the blender off and shook off her nerves. Waiting a bit to give me some time to get there before she heads over to your table. Her heart rate is calm for now, pouring you a glass of water. “So, you’re not from around here.” She bluntly states. “Welcome to town. Your first drink is on me.” 

Hoping in the driver seat of my truck, I make the quick drive to the restaurant. I figured a new guy in town was worth checking out. 

Dehv: ~ I checked over the menu while looking around me. Couples were obviously here on dates, some were just here with friends. It was quite busy considering the town wasn’t all that big. Caldwell was much bigger, but then I liked the way it felt. Everyone seemed friendly enough, and I tried my best to chill out and fit in. I wasn’t here for anyone in this place, I could tell they were all human. Which meant I was the one here protecting them, even if they weren’t aware of it.

I gave a glance around me, trying to see if I could catch someone’s eye, as I was ready to order. I noted people coming in and out, and then the girl who had seated me. She had been on the phone, likely taking orders. Did they do take out? I’d have to check, either way she looked competent. I smiled tight lipped when she approached and waited on the normal script that came from working front of house. The directness had my brows raising involuntarily.

“Thank you, I’ll just have a pint of coke, please. Could I also have the steak, medium. It’s lovely here. Really welcoming.”

I used my finger to point at the menu items, though I had no need, she wasn’t looking at the menu. Likely knew it off by heart. She took the menu but didn’t appear to be leaving. I frowned slightly, and then inclined my head. Waiting.

She looked around and then seemed to settle. “I’m not really meant to offer free drinks. But we don’t get too many new people coming by this way. So, why not? It’s just one. You sure you don’t want something stronger?”

I shook my head, checking her name badge before replying. “I’m good, thank you Amber. I am actually here to check a few things out. I hope not to be staying long. But I’d hate you to get in trouble, a coke would be lovely. But, if you’re going to get in trouble, please just add it to my tab.”

She smiled again and nodded, “Are you here for business?”

“In a fashion, yes. Looking for someone, the last place I knew they were was around here, so figured I’d drop by.” I hesitated and then relented and just went full stream ahead. “Though I have seen news of some terrible deaths recently. They close to figuring out who did it?”

She shook her head, her breath hitching just slightly, but not enough for me to think she was involved. “They are awful. No one from town that I know, and no suspects yet. It’s scary, could be any one of us. I’m grateful I have people to take me home, out late at night isn’t where you want to be. We’re a safe town, protected. But we are all worried. Hopefully whoever you’re here to find shows up quickly. And hopefully they figure out who is doing these horrible things soon.”

Protected? I made a mental note of that and nodded. “Thank you, I wish as much as you do that I find them quickly and we can get out of the town and back home. It was lovely to chat with you.”

She looked around, then exhaled and nodded. Patting her pad to show me that she had my order and then wandered over to the bar. Her smile lit up her face and I followed her gaze.

And, I watched a male walk in who didn’t walk like a human, but he wasn’t a vampire. His entire face and body were powerful, and while everyone seemed to know him and smiled when he entered, I got the sudden feeling I wasn’t the only predator in the room. ~

Wilder: When I arrived at the restaurant I walked in like I owned the place. In a small town like Red Lodge, everyone knew me and I upheld my family's legacy. I held a presence in this town and I’d keep it that way. My eyes scan the restaurant to spot the new man in town sitting at the corner table, making my way over to Amber. Well damn, she wasn't joking, you were hot. Taking in your features for a moment. The petite brunette throws her arms around me in a hug, giving her a squeeze back. Inhaling a breath to see if your scent matches the one from the sites of the kills. I could pinpoint the notes of your citrus body wash, arching a curious brow as it mixed with hits of lead and wood. It reminded me of a number two pencil. 

“You good, sweetheart?” I asked Amber, pulling back to lock my gaze with hers seeing her nod. “I know that look, Wilder. Your eyes give you away.” She states and I shake my head. “I’ll fill you in later.” 

I couldn’t bring myself to tell her about the most recent kill. She knew them personally as well and I knew she wouldn’t take it lightly. I knew within moments of being somewhat close to you that you weren’t human, but you weren't a wolf as well. Interesting… I thought to myself, letting Amber lead me to a table that gave me a perfect view of you. I knew you weren't the perpetrator, but you absolutely held my attention. Maybe you were working with them? In my eyes I knew nothing about you and would absolutely treat you as a threat until proven otherwise. Could I pretend to be friendly and rub elbows with the best of them? Fuck yeah I could if that means I’d get a better read on you. 

Holding your gaze for a moment, subconsciously letting out a quiet territorial growl before glancing at Amber. “Be a sweetheart and get me my usual?” I flash her a smirk and she nods. An unspoken look between us stood for me telling her to use her gift of gab to get you talking so I can eavesdrop on the conversation. Leaning back into the chair, as she scampers off to grab your drink as well as mine. Watching her head over to you to drop off the coke. Amber sliding you a double shot of my favorite whiskey. “I know you declined a real drink, but this is on the tree that just walked in that looks like Thor. He owns Whiskey Row and if you’re looking for some entertainment while you're in town you should check it out.” 

I tilt my glass towards you, figuring if I could tell you were not human then you knew the same about me. I wasn’t one to beat around the bush and if you were part of the attacks I’d make it damn clear you are fucking around in the wrong damn town. I had you in my sights, your scent committed to memory. What ever reason you were here, you absolutely stumbled into ‘Fuck around and find out’ territory. Listening to the two of you chat while I calmly took a sip from my glass. 

Dehv: ~ I kept my eyes down on my phone until I noted movement, at which point I settled back in my seat, expecting my coke to have arrived. What was delivered wasn’t my coke. I glanced at the drink, then at Amber, then in the direction she had nodded towards. He was tall, probably at least as tall as me. Well, that answered that question from earlier. 

Hard to stand out when they’re used to it.

I kept a neutral expression on my face, but tipped my head in his general direction. Male was built, and wasn’t human. I wasn’t able to tell what he was. As much as vampires had a whole lot going for them, sniffer dogs weren't one of them. Though I might have to speak to Wrath about getting someone to invent something, because knowing something and KNOWING something were entirely different things. I knew he belonged here, a quick check of my very relaxed waitress told me that, but he didn’t. She was 100% human, her blood would bleed red and she’d die in seconds if I drank from her like I might my own kind. 

He looked like he’d do some damage in a fight and I’d be waking up with a few newly healed bones. Though, he also looked like some kind of Norse God, so Thor was about on the money. I wondered who the hell his parents were to get a son that looked like that, and were there more of them? Because Scibe help their parents feeding multiples growing up. 

My gaze shifted as Amber started chatting, asking about where I’d come from, why I was here, if I was meeting someone locally, if she could help with recommendations of other places to go if I was trying out all the local places to eat. I chatted away, giving away as much as I could without just blurting out that I was a vampire sent to investigate our own kind killing humans, and if necessary call in the big guns to take them out. Nope, this is when being an architect came in handy, cover story and ready made business already created for the inevitable check ups. 

However, I kept the Hulk in my peripheral and putting two and two together wondered if he wasn’t just as intrigued by me as I was by him. Not human, not vampire. I’d met Vishous’ Uncle, and I’d briefly seen his Mum, which is basically like these humans seeing their creator and extended family. We had ghosts, though not as you’d see them on TV. But no fairies, no ghouls, no elves or orcs. So what the fuck was the dude sitting over a few tables. 

“I’m sorry, I missed the question.” I was busy in my head and missed the poor girl’s latest query. She shook her head as if she’d forgotten and it was fine I’d missed it, and I smiled as an idea popped into my head. “Actually, could I get my dinner to come to a different table when it’s ready?”

She looked confused as I stood and grabbed my phone and jacket, heading over to sit across from the mystery male. I hoped he wasn’t about to stab me or shoot me. Though, I’d give as good as I got with my weapons, I hoped he cared for the humans enough in here for him not to want them to get caught in the crossfire. 

I could see her panic, but I smiled and nodded to give as much reassurance as I could before holding my hand out for the male, “Evening, I’m Dehv. I don’t believe we’ve met yet. Mind if I join you to eat? My dinner shouldn’t be long in coming out, but please do also order so I’m not eating alone while we talk.” ~ #NiceSurprise #Pt1

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 2.22

Holidays

Ag Teacher Appreciation Day

Antarctica Day (Argentina)

Argentine Antarctica Day (Argentina)

Bear Tie Ball (Chicago, Illinois)

Be Humble Day

Black Orbit Day

Branch Day

Call Somebody "Boo Boo" Day

Cat Day (Japan)

Celebrity Day (Scientology)

Crime Victims Day (EU)

Day of Fraternity and Cohesion (Algeria)

A Day Without News?

Dimanche Gras (Trinidad and Tobago)

Donkey Races Day (Virgin Islands)

European Day for Victims of Crime

Five and Ten Day

For the Love of Mike Day

For the Love of Pete Day

Founder's Day (a.k.a. B.P. Day; World Organization of the Scout Movement)

Gentle Giant Day

Girl Guides Thinking Day (UK)

Give FFA Day

Golf America Day

International Agunah Day (Fast of Esther)

International World Thinking Day

Katsuyama Sagicho (Fire Festival; Japan)

Margaret Herb (Bellis Percanis) Day

Marie Day

Miracle on Ice Day

National a Day without News Day

National Breastfeeding in Public Day

National California Day

National Cat Day (Japan)

National Chosen Family Day (Canada)

National Defibrillator Awareness Day (Israel)

National Encephalitis Day

National Festival of the Sun (Argentina)

National Ginger Awareness Day

National Heart Valve Disease Awareness Day

National Human Trafficking Awareness Day (Canada)

National TWOodles’ Day

National Wildlife Day [also 9.4]

No Smoking Day (Ireland)

Play More Cards Day [also Last Monday]

Privet Day (French Republic)

Public Holiday (Russia, Zimbabwe)

Recreational Sports and Fitness Day

Rihanna Day (Barbados)

Showa-Shinzan International Yukigassen Tournament (Snowball Fighting; Japan)

Sports Day (Bahrain)

Supermarket Employee Day

Takeshima Day (Japan)

Tex Avery Day

2Twenty2 Day (Illinois)

Unity Day (Egypt; Syria)

Walking the Dog Day

Washington's Birthday

Woolworth’s Day

World Encephalitis Day

World Sword Swallowers Day

World Thinking Day

World Yoga Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Big Block of Cheese Day [original date; 1837]

National Cook a Sweet Potato Day

National Margarita Day

Popcorn Introduction Day

Powder Day (Sierra Nevada Brewing)

4th Thurday in February

Discover Girl Day [4th Thursday]

Great American Spit Out [Thursday of 3rd Full Week]

Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day (a.k.a. Discover Girl Day) [Thursday of National Engineers Week]

National Chili Day [4th Thursday]

Independence & Related Days

Empire Hugo (Declared; 2016) [unrecognized]

Founding Day (Saudi Arabia)

Kaetania (Declared; 2022) [unrecognized]

Saint Lucia (from UK, 1979)

Festivals Beginning February 22, 2024

BlendFest on the Coast (San Simeon and Cambria, California) [thru 2.25]

Dublin International Film Festival (Dublin, Ireland) [thru 3.2]

Hong Kong Arts Festival (Hong Kong, Hong Kong) [thru 3.22]

Inlander Restaurant Week (Idaho) [thru 3.2]

Jaisalmer Desert Festival (Jaisalmer, India) [thru 2.24]

Montana Beer Awards (Helena, Montana) [thru 2.24]

Newport Seafood & Wine Festival (Newport, Oregon) [thru 2.25]

New York Farm Show (Syracuse, New York) [thru 2.24]

Oregon Truffle Festival (Eugene, Oregon & Surrounding Area) [thru 3.1]

South Beach Seafood & Wine Festival (South Beach, Florida) [thru 2.25]

Vilnius Book Fair (Vilnius, Lithuania) [thru 2.25]

Whooping Crane Festival (Port Aransas) [thru 2.25]

Wintergrass Music Festival (Bellevue, Washington) [thru 2.25]

World’s Championship Bar-B-Que (Houston, Texas) [thru 2.24]

Feast Days

Abu Simbel Festival (Ancient Egypt; also 10.22)

Appreciate Dragons Day (Pastafarian)

Baradates (a.k.a. Baradat; Christian; Saint)

Beating the Bounds (England; Starza Pagan Book of Days)

Caristia (Family Reunions Festival, a.k.a. Day of Peace in the Family; Ancient Rome; Pagan)

Concordia (Old Roman Festival of Goodwill)

Day Sacred to Charistia (Ancient Rome)

Edna St. Vincent Millay (Writerism)

Edward Gorey (Writerism)

Eric Gill (Artology)

Eric Liddell (Episcopal Church (USA))

Feast of Hastseltsi (The Red God, God of Racing; Navaho)

Feast of the Chair of Saint Peter (Roman Catholic Church)

Festival of the Perpendicular Sun (Ancient Egypt)

Handing Back of Goblin Orphans (Shamanism)

Horace Pippin (Artology)

Hunter S. Thompson Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

I.C. DeForrest (Muppetism)

Isabel (Christian; Martyr)

Luis (Rowan or Mountain Ash; Celtic Book of Days)

Margaret of Cortona (Christian; Saint)

Rembrandt Peale (Artology)

Thalasius and Limneus (Christian; Saint)

Tibullus (Positivist; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Prime Number Day: 53 [16 of 72]

Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]

Premieres

[brookston]

Holidays 2.22

Holidays

Ag Teacher Appreciation Day

Antarctica Day (Argentina)

Argentine Antarctica Day (Argentina)

Bear Tie Ball (Chicago, Illinois)

Be Humble Day

Black Orbit Day

Branch Day

Call Somebody "Boo Boo" Day

Cat Day (Japan)

Celebrity Day (Scientology)

Crime Victims Day (EU)

Day of Fraternity and Cohesion (Algeria)

A Day Without News?

Dimanche Gras (Trinidad and Tobago)

Donkey Races Day (Virgin Islands)

European Day for Victims of Crime

Five and Ten Day

For the Love of Mike Day

For the Love of Pete Day

Founder's Day (a.k.a. B.P. Day; World Organization of the Scout Movement)

Gentle Giant Day

Girl Guides Thinking Day (UK)

Give FFA Day

Golf America Day

International Agunah Day (Fast of Esther)

International World Thinking Day

Katsuyama Sagicho (Fire Festival; Japan)

Margaret Herb (Bellis Percanis) Day

Marie Day

Miracle on Ice Day

National a Day without News Day

National Breastfeeding in Public Day

National California Day

National Cat Day (Japan)

National Chosen Family Day (Canada)

National Defibrillator Awareness Day (Israel)

National Encephalitis Day

National Festival of the Sun (Argentina)

National Ginger Awareness Day

National Heart Valve Disease Awareness Day

National Human Trafficking Awareness Day (Canada)

National TWOodles’ Day

National Wildlife Day [also 9.4]

No Smoking Day (Ireland)

Play More Cards Day [also Last Monday]

Privet Day (French Republic)

Public Holiday (Russia, Zimbabwe)

Recreational Sports and Fitness Day

Rihanna Day (Barbados)

Showa-Shinzan International Yukigassen Tournament (Snowball Fighting; Japan)

Sports Day (Bahrain)

Supermarket Employee Day

Takeshima Day (Japan)

Tex Avery Day

2Twenty2 Day (Illinois)

Unity Day (Egypt; Syria)

Walking the Dog Day

Washington's Birthday

Woolworth’s Day

World Encephalitis Day

World Sword Swallowers Day

World Thinking Day

World Yoga Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Big Block of Cheese Day [original date; 1837]

National Cook a Sweet Potato Day

National Margarita Day

Popcorn Introduction Day

Powder Day (Sierra Nevada Brewing)

4th Thurday in February

Discover Girl Day [4th Thursday]

Great American Spit Out [Thursday of 3rd Full Week]

Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day (a.k.a. Discover Girl Day) [Thursday of National Engineers Week]

National Chili Day [4th Thursday]

Independence & Related Days

Empire Hugo (Declared; 2016) [unrecognized]

Founding Day (Saudi Arabia)

Kaetania (Declared; 2022) [unrecognized]

Saint Lucia (from UK, 1979)

Festivals Beginning February 22, 2024

BlendFest on the Coast (San Simeon and Cambria, California) [thru 2.25]

Dublin International Film Festival (Dublin, Ireland) [thru 3.2]

Hong Kong Arts Festival (Hong Kong, Hong Kong) [thru 3.22]

Inlander Restaurant Week (Idaho) [thru 3.2]

Jaisalmer Desert Festival (Jaisalmer, India) [thru 2.24]

Montana Beer Awards (Helena, Montana) [thru 2.24]

Newport Seafood & Wine Festival (Newport, Oregon) [thru 2.25]

New York Farm Show (Syracuse, New York) [thru 2.24]

Oregon Truffle Festival (Eugene, Oregon & Surrounding Area) [thru 3.1]

South Beach Seafood & Wine Festival (South Beach, Florida) [thru 2.25]

Vilnius Book Fair (Vilnius, Lithuania) [thru 2.25]

Whooping Crane Festival (Port Aransas) [thru 2.25]

Wintergrass Music Festival (Bellevue, Washington) [thru 2.25]

World’s Championship Bar-B-Que (Houston, Texas) [thru 2.24]

Feast Days

Abu Simbel Festival (Ancient Egypt; also 10.22)

Appreciate Dragons Day (Pastafarian)

Baradates (a.k.a. Baradat; Christian; Saint)

Beating the Bounds (England; Starza Pagan Book of Days)

Caristia (Family Reunions Festival, a.k.a. Day of Peace in the Family; Ancient Rome; Pagan)

Concordia (Old Roman Festival of Goodwill)

Day Sacred to Charistia (Ancient Rome)

Edna St. Vincent Millay (Writerism)

Edward Gorey (Writerism)

Eric Gill (Artology)

Eric Liddell (Episcopal Church (USA))

Feast of Hastseltsi (The Red God, God of Racing; Navaho)

Feast of the Chair of Saint Peter (Roman Catholic Church)

Festival of the Perpendicular Sun (Ancient Egypt)

Handing Back of Goblin Orphans (Shamanism)

Horace Pippin (Artology)

Hunter S. Thompson Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

I.C. DeForrest (Muppetism)

Isabel (Christian; Martyr)

Luis (Rowan or Mountain Ash; Celtic Book of Days)

Margaret of Cortona (Christian; Saint)

Rembrandt Peale (Artology)

Thalasius and Limneus (Christian; Saint)

Tibullus (Positivist; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Prime Number Day: 53 [16 of 72]

Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]

Premieres