#money trauma

[supermoongirl9]

Having prominent 2H/8H placements usually means money will always be an important topic for you, for good or bad - but usually you were raised in an environment where it was discussed a lot, you were aware of ur family's financial situation etc and it could have created traumas.

It can be about having parents that were irresponsible with money so now you're yourself extra careful with it, it can be about having stingy parents (so now you have issues w not spending a lot while at the same time feeling insecure if you don't have enough savings).

It can be about spending too much all the time because that's how you soothe urself (because it's a family pattern lol), it can be about always being in the position where you give money to others as a way to make them love you subconsciously (and u regret it all the time).

[skeletonpandas]

[lil-kenzie]

Need to find a second job

There's barely any job market here and I live in one of the more conservative parts of the state

Like Christ. I worry about having the funds to do laundry for all my old beat up clothes, even.

Dude this sucks.

tired of feeling like a small child shaking a can at people asking for change!!

The worst part is, I can already tell I'm gonna have to do it again for december's bills because im only paid every other week and i had a really small first paycheck!

fuck!!

[the-healing-mindset]

So this is different. Financial healing. What are your beliefs around money?

For me, my money trauma started at the age of six. At that age, I started receiving an allowance of what I believe was like $10 a month for helping out around the house and for doing well in school. The trauma, however, comes in with my dad. He was (and still is) very financially irresponsible and unstable, and can't save his way out of a paper bag. Because of his ways, oue family was always held back financially even though we didn't really have a reason to be.

Getting back on topic, he would always have a major issue with me whenever we went out of town and I wanted to buy something cool or maybe a souvenir with the money I had saved up. I never had any idea why, but I'd figure it out almost twenty years later. He wanted me to save my money because ultimately, many of the allowances that I got back then ended up going to him. See, because I was young, I had no idea what I was doing. He would always come to me and ask for the allowance money back. "You're the kids here, you're supposed to help us out," he once told my sister and me. Outright manipulation.

This continued for years. I always wondered why I never had any money to spend on myself, but I never wondered why my dad never had any money and also never bought anything for us. I just thought that I was "being good," and that I was doing what I was being asked to do. Little did I know, my beliefs around money were being shaped so that I would always be at a disadvantage. This would lead me to be manipulated continously by him for the next 14 years, me being none the wiser.

Now that I have moved out and am supporting myself, I am trying my best to overcome what happened back then. Though I work full time, with prospects for a part time job, and also have been supporting myself independently for the past three months and have built up some savings, I still feel relatively financially insecure and unstable from having grown up witnessing what I did with my family.

[liaragaming]

I keep seeing posts about Solas' "arrogance" when it comes to tearing down the Veil - that he thinks he's the only one who knows what's best for Thedas, and no one else could possibly understand because it's all "past their comprehension."

But that's not it at all. If you have low approval with Solas, you can confront him about not doing enough to help the Dalish, and he admits that he probably could have done more but that he's tired of fighting and losing. The Inquisitor has a choice of how to respond, but if you suggest he seek the support of his friends, he will tell you he's learned not to do that.

You can get a similar conversation with Solas when he asks what you plan to do with the power of the Well of Sorrows. You can literally respond "I'm not arrogant enough to think it's my decision alone" and tell him you intend to rely on the collective judgement of your friends because you trust them. And he'll respond, "I know that mistake well enough to carve the angles of her face from memory."

It's not arrogance that keeps Solas from talking to his friends. This is a learned behavior where he's trusted the people he cared about and who he thought cared about him, and ended up stabbed in the back over and over again.

Solas isn't afraid of admitting himself wrong. He will do so with a high approval Inquisitor. He'll admit fault or allow his views to be challenged during party banter. He's not afraid of or demeaning of other view points - so long as his are also respected.

He even tells a high approval Inquisitor "it would be too easy to tell you too much." He WANTS to tell them. He wants to share his plans. But he's been burned too often. And if you romanced him - he's likely been burned by past lovers too. He just can't take the risk that you'll betray him - as experience has taught him will likely happen.

Solas knows he's been wrong before. He knows he could be wrong again. He'd likely love to have another person or two or more who he could brainstorm his plan with to iron out the holes he can't see. But he can't do that because he doesn't know for sure that you won't stab him in the back.

His refusal to talk to someone isn't arrogance. It's avoidant behavior learned from trauma - possibly PTSD - the man walks Cole through a freaking panic attack, for Christ's sakes. He knows what that's like.

I just want to hug him and tell him the people he trusted were assholes and the fault was theirs and not his.

[rustedhills]

Disney, releasing Wish: "so it's all about legacy--the new generation surpassing the old, overcoming the evils perpetuated by them, relinquishing singular power... and there's an old man in a tower, uh... animal sidekick, i guess..., ah... magic...?

Miyazaki, just out of frame, sledgehammer raised:

[nelkcats]

Danny decided to be a janitor at Gotham's private school. Mostly because he wanted to annoy the students by making them think that he was just a poor tired man and later have a dramatic revelation about him being a retired hero (he watched too much Spiderman), well, that and the fact that he needed a job where they didn't ask for a background check.

Of course, Tim immediately realized that something was wrong with the new Janitor but doesn't rat him out because he thinks he's just a meta hiding on Gotham and he can call Clark later. He regrets that decision when the Joker tries to kidnap the school (as normal) and the janitor, panicking, freezes the entire school, including Tim.

In Danny's defense, he hates clowns and will react to any clown around with aggression. Jason approves the weird Janitor.

[crowhoonter]

A brute is rampaging in the Brockton Bay downtown area by my apartment, causing a general ruckus

Me, a thinker 3: Well well well, look at this. Another Brute class thinking that because they are big and strong means they're better than everyone else. Would you be surprised to learn that I'm a thinker? Do you even know what that means buster? My mind is running a thousand calculations a minute to beat you, to turn every move against yourself. Your silly little musclebound tantrum cannot begin to compare to my genius intellect, truly brains are better than braw-

He hits my body once with a single finger, turning me into a fine red mist

[skeletonpandas]

[lyrakanefanatic]

just thinking about how confusing it’s gonna be once lyra explains the story of her father shooting himself. not only does it call out the hawthornes (we know this already), but imagine how knox and brady will react when they hear the word CALLA lilys come out of her mouth. they are going to automatically assume that calla had something do to with lyras father, and that will start a whole CHAIN of arguments.

not only that, but the hawthorne brothers will 100% recognize the “what begins a bet? not that” riddle and automatically start questioning grayson. then that’s going to set off the “okay 13 years after the incident regarding my father i decided to call up a special someone” story from lyra and THEN jameson will understand why grayson gave her the 1000 yard stare when he first heard her voice on the helicopter.

okay lowkey this would make a pretty funny situation. like imagine:

lyra, having finished telling the story about how her father shot himself: “-and then my mom and stepfather were there and it was finished. that’s all i can remember, anyway.”

jameson: “that’s terrible… but did you say your father said, “what begins a bet? not that” before he shot himself?”

lyra: “yeah, why?”

xander: “i swear grayson told us that riddle… what, two years ago?”

grayson, with all his brothers eyes turning to him: “..”

lyra: “….”

lyra: “so here’s part two-“

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Actually on the topic of Kazutora and money, I'm sure when he was first friends with Baji and the founders he kept trying to pay for things/ slipping into his old habits because it's what he's used to. Eventually he learnt (mainly through Baji helping) that he definitely doesn't need to do that. And the first time Baji or one of the others bought something for him he was so grateful and happy he got a bit emotional.

[briarpatch-kids]

I always love explaining to other queer people like "oh yeah my family was totally cool with me being queer, it was the Disabled Thing they wouldn't stand."

Because I had to quit talking to my family after my dad kept calling the cops on me for having respiratory failure and being scared about it.

[maggotssmichael]

just gonna go ahead and say this: frank was absolutely right & justified in telling joey to "own your fucking shit and go be a mother to that kid." and i understand the argument of 'oh he should've said it in a nicer way blah blah he was so rude about it blah blah time and place frank' but that's exactly how you need to talk to someone like joey

[spending-life-pretending]

maybe I’m just the fucked up one but I feel like every other page in this book is two people inventing a new kind of sex-that-isn’t-sex and I’m going insane (in a good way)

[wifegideonnav]

the worst part of long term depression is how fucking boring it is. like im on my knees begging my asshole brain to just let me be interested in something, anything, i don’t care what it is i just can’t take another day where the time crawls by excruciatingly slowly and i still have to do it all again tomorrow.