#moments my heart broke

[domtheforestgnome]

Moments my heart sequentially broke for Wilhelm in season 2 part 2

Hello! It's me again with another post about moments my heart sequentially broke for Wilhelm in season 2 of Young Royals. Here's part 1. And also there are Part 1 and Part 2 for Simon.

What's noticeable - based on these posts - till this moment Wilhelm has suffered mostly because of being rejected by Simon, whereas Simon is being hit from different directions (being in the destructive relationship with Marcus and hearing not nice stuff from him, being erased by Royal Court publicly, having hard time with his "long lost" sister, still being bullied by other students in Hillerska for his non-royal backgrounds)...

Yeah, that's my observation, feel free to make your conclusions based on it. Anyway my heart broke this season for Wilhelm when...

Simon agreed Wille's position actually IS problematic for him when it comes to their relationship. I mean, I really want to cry every time I see it.

I know the feeling, kiddo. I know the feeling sooo well. I wanted to hug him, and I really was disappointed he and Felice didn't go together to the ball, even though I got that she wasn't a fan of fueling the rumors with it.

On the other hand, watching Wilhelm like that is not entirely bad for him and feeling all those feelings. I imagine him trying to live the normal life, partying and all of that, and that could be also just to feel something, forcing and pushing things to extreme level - but the pain of being punch probably felt pretty real.

And here he wasn't in control and still felt something really strong and difficult. And in my opinion even though heartbreak is never easy, it was actually good for him to experience that as a... prince.

Do I even have to say anything? This scene is a masterpiece. Also it reminds me of the one in season 1. The one after Wilhelm learns that his mom knew about August's deeds and tried to excuse it with acknowledging Erik's legacy. Back then, I could really feel that he's so lonely and not gonna lie, I was really worried about his mental health in that moment - like "Please, Wilhelm, don't do anything bad to yourself, pleaseee". Though, this time he's not alone. At least he's got Felice, Boris, and even Nils to talk about it.

Yeah, I'd rather Wille and Felice went together for that ball. He was so lost. And Simon brought Marcus, not really making things easy for Wille.

Look how tired he was! Seeing him literally on the verge of exhaustion after putting all his energy to talk politely to Marcus and respectfully informing Simon, he surrenders. I'm so done!

Kissing Simon and still being very careful. Like, it all was still so fragile like glass in that moment.

When Wille made breakfast for Simon and the boy didn't want it, suddenly being very reserved towards Wille. The change in the mood after their kiss at the ball must be confusing.

Ugh... "all the things he said, all the things he said, running through my head" moment. Like Simon said lots of hurtful (still true) things to Wilhelm, and I am sorry for the kid bc it can hurt two times more when you really believe you doing things with a good will... I was watching that moment with sympathy for the kid. He believed he was doing the right thing and he really tried to administer justice towards August.

Him panicking and getting totally none of a response to it by Jan Olof and the other man. Like "you don't have to be sorry" would be nice to hear in this situation.

When he learnt August is his back-up.

I am proud of his reaction though - breathing and dealing with the news. Like before, kind of similar situation to that one in season 1 episode 6, but the reaction and also Kristina's emphasis on being in this together as a mother-son family, made it really different. They can do it. I believe it.

But later on I'm watching this scene and now as I am thinking about that...I might got manipulated just as Wilhelm. The way he said that his Mom is counting on him and therefore he should be doing all those things, the Royal Court want him to do, and yet it's so difficult for him. I mean I see a 16yo boy, but at the same time he talks and looks way more younger child. You can see that he loves his family so much too and cares for them, but the official role part is really messing ways of showing that.

When he was harsh for himself, being annoyed with the characters choices in the "Kris".

When everything started to collapse bc Simon didn't change his mind about going to police.

This whole sequence.

Oh, the longing. His thrive for the touch.

They shouldn't be scared!!! They're still children!!! I can't.

Yeah, I mean... Somehow my heart is even more broken for Wille here than for Simon, probably bc he's not stopping himself anymore from being that close to another boy. I know that Young Royals is not exactly about that (internal) struggle, but thinking about him in season 1 - all the pushing and pressure to have it in control, not let himself kiss Simon then kissing him, not wanting to be more than friends, then liking him too much for that, then all the video thing. He really wanted to be close to Simon, and here he finally was without stopping himself!!! And all their future was so unknown and scary. God!

...

Ok, I need a brake. That's all for now.

Take care!

Now with Part 3

[gentlebeard]

And I would like to spend... [the rest of my existence with you]

David Tennant, the man that you are. Killing millions with that line delivery.

[secriden]

This line. God, this line! It has been eating me up inside for 2 days now, because let's not forget, this line isn't about love, it's about trust. And that has implications that make me want to scream.

It's a direct reference to this moment earlier in the episode:

At the start of this discussion, Style and Fadel still have a kind of playful air about their conversation:

Style: Oh? Not even me? Fadel: You're at 80% at best. I feel like you're hiding something from me in the 20%.

In this exchange, though, there's a sense that Fadel is issuing a challenge, like there's something specific which Style can do to gain Fadel's full trust. And while Style knows there are things he cannot (yet) reveal to Fadel, I think a part of him is determined to be as honest as he can be, which is why he issues a challenge of his own by asking for more specificity:

Style: What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?

Part of this question is a simultaneously inquisitive and deflective - What (and why) do you think I'm hiding (something) from you? - but there's also a moment after Style finishes speaking where he stills and goes quiet that feels... genuine, weighty. Or, as @airenyah has pointed out in her meta on Style in episode 4, the "grounded[ness]" in Style's demeanour is a signal that Style means what he's saying in the moment. Maybe about his own desire to be worthy of Fadel's trust, maybe about how he genuinely does want this relationship to be real in whatever way that matters to Fadel.

I think Fadel sensed that too, because the moment looses all the lightheartedness it had before. Fadel pauses, and then gets a look on his face that just... breaks my heart. There's a sombreness there, like he knows he's going to have to say something that makes him sad. Fadel looks away, and then down, before he seems to steel himself and says:

Fadel: It'll never happen. No matter how much you love someone, I just don't believe that you can completely lay yourself bare in front of them.

Fadel says this like it's fact. Like what he's expressing is something foundational and true and irrefutable. It's not even about his doubt in Style's honesty, because this statement has no qualifiers or conditions put on it to connect it to Style. Rather this is what Fadel fundamentally believes about relationships and trust: he finds the very concept of being fully known and still accepted an impossibility.

Sure, maybe this is because of the falling out (or betrayal or disappearance) associated with the former lover; but I also think it might be because Fadel is acutely aware not only that he's hiding a rather big and dark secret (not to mince words, but: actual literal premeditated murder), but also about what it implies about Fadel. Because being able to kill another human, coldly and clinically and without remorse, takes a certain type of person. Because, yes, Fadel has lived through an absolutely harrowing and traumatising event (his parents' murder), but it's also undeniable that it changed him. Because there's something about Fadel that twisted dark and which he never quite got back. There's an anger, a hurt that colours every moment of his life; that enables him to look a man in the eyes, smile politely, and pull a trigger.

And at this point in their relationship, Fadel's understanding of Style is that he's... well, kind of innocent. Especially in comparison to Fadel and Bison, and even Kant.

Style, who easily reveals facts about his life which Fadel already knows (winning a car tuning competition), making Fadel doubt his own instincts about Style hiding secrets. Style, who also reveals the things Fadel doesn't know, like the tender and secret pain of a mother lost to cancer (which, now that I think about it, Fadel may also know) and his worries about a father who "lost his bearings for a bit" (which he probably doesn't). Style, who tries to comfort Fadel in his own loss by offering a safe space and a sympathetic ear.

Style, who doesn't just see Fadel for his tragedy, but is asking to be given the chance to accept all of Fadel as a person. Style, who not only wants but has the capacity, to be the only person Fadel needs to rely on. Style who, despite the sea of differences between them, understands Fadel on a level that is so very foundational.

I'm going to slightly segue and mention something that may not resonate with everyone, but really hit me in the gut this episode: because I lost my father when I was 16 after he battled cancer for 2 painful years. And this revelation about Style has totally shifted and coloured everything Style has done in a new light for me. Because not only does this totally explain Style's sometimes almost stubbornly childish demeanour (it's common in adults who've had to 'grow up' too early), but also why Style shows seemingly random flashes of insight and maturity when they are most crucial. Notably, Style has this almost instinctive sense of when he needs to back off a sore point with Fadel that I couldn't quite put my finger on until this episode.

I've seen a few jokes about Style's awkward subject change, but I've actually got a friend who I hold very dear to my heart who was one of the only people to give me a sense of normalcy and comfort when my dad was on his last few days and then at his funeral. And part of that was the instinctive way she would know when I needed to just. Not be a grieving daughter for a few minutes. To get a small respite from the overwhelming hopelessness and sense of impending loss. To get a moment to breathe and gather my strength, because knowing I was never going to see my dad again, or hear his voice, or hold his hand was tearing me apart back then. Sometimes she'd talk to me about college drama, sometimes she'd introduce a new kpop video to me, sometimes she'd just ask me what I wanted to eat and take me to go have a meal with her. And sometimes there really just isn't anything else to say other than "I'm sorry." Nothing you say - nothing you can say - is going to ever, ever make this grief go away, and in most cases, it was better when people (especially those who couldn't really understand) didn't try.

And I think if you look at Fadel very closely, there's a moment of genuine surprise (Fadel wasn't expecting the subject change at all) and then... something that looks like fondness mixed with exhausted relief. Because I don't think Fadel was ready to talk about his parents yet. This was honesty he wasn't ready to give Style, mostly prompted because Style himself had willingly been so vulnerable that a part of Fadel wanted to reciprocate. But further down that path lies not only his darkest memories, but also the connection to the part of his life he is not willing to share with Style yet. So this subject change is a relief, it's a blessing, but it's also Style knowing when he shouldn't push any further with Fadel's fragile heart.

Which brings me back to how well the episode's theme of trust (both deserved and undeserved) was woven in this episode. This is true on multiple levels and characters but I'm not even going to attempt to touch Kant in this post because... Lord, that is beyond me at the moment. Someone else needs to do that, pretty please, so I can reblog it and scream.

It starts, somewhat unexpectedly, with Fadel asking for entrance into the intimate spaces of Style's life.

So, this episode was not about Fadel's fear of his own feelings, desires, or even affection for Style - that appears to be fully addressed in episode 4. I think that's why we see Fadel be so physically affectionate and indulgent of Style in this episode. He's come to terms with his lust for Style's body (hence his comfort in initiating sex), he's accepted Style as his boyfriend and so can enjoy Style's playful teasing (still reluctantly, but Fadel is still an introvert even if he's mostly enjoying Style's rambunctious nature), and give into Style's (and Bison's and Kant's) cajoling with relatively little fuss.

He's even comfortable toying with the edges of revealing his darker and more sinister side by reminding Style implicitly about how violent Fadel has the potential to be. Recall that Fadel knows Style knows some of his capacity for violence; he just doesn't know how very thoroughly Style is aware of the full scale of this truth. It does help that Style evidences no actual fear and, in fact, looks positively euphoric. Like, buddy, pal, dearest one... please control yourself.

And yet something very, very telling is the way the show makes it a point to depict Fadel very deliberately getting drunk during the double date. Even before the date has started, Fadel looks to be about half a beer in and we see him constantly drinking, drinking, drinking during the whole date. From the conversation about trust he has with Style while Kant and Bison are being off key and adorable about it, to after Kant leaves and Bison gets worried. And we've seen Fadel cope with emotional and mental distress with alcohol before, so we know that Fadel is internally fighting some kind of very intense battle even as he is also very clearly enjoying moments with Style on this date (most notably when they're dancing by the bowling lanes and when Style asks him to go home with him).

So here's my take: rather than being about love, this is about Fadel fighting to hold onto his own philosophy on relationships and trust. Because as much as I do believe Fadel believes he's telling the truth when he tells Style that 100% trust is "impossible", I think it's clear that's not what he wants.

What he wants is to finish this last job so that the only thing he can't be honest about with Style will finally stop being a factor in his life. What he wants is to fully and completely reciprocate the openness Style seems to be giving Fadel. What he wants is to switch off his brain and let his heart lead for once, to stop fighting a battle he has no desire to win anymore, only he can't. Trust (not love) is Fadel's final frontier, and one which he can't quite give up in spite of himself.

Which is why I think Fadel intentionally gets himself drunk here. Because he wants to let his guard down around Style. He wants to open himself fully, he wants to "lay himself bare" for Style, he wants Style to know the full truth and accept him anyway - and he gets so close, but can't quite get there - because he doesn't know that Style already has.

When Style says this, Fadel thinks it's empty words, not knowing that Style has long passed the bar Fadel thinks is insurmountable. And just like Style was able to offer safety and reassurance to the vulnerability Fadel was showing in episode 4, Style instinctively gets to the core of Fadel's darkest fears again:

Style: One day, I'll be your 100%.

This isn't (just) a promise that Style will wear Fadel's stubbornness down, or that Style will be worthy of Fadel's 100% (which, already, has me in tears, ngl). Beyond that, this is Style promising Fadel isn't ruined for this; that it isn't too late, that whatever hurts and wounds Fadel has can be made whole again. That the kind of honest and all-encompassing and unconditional trust which Fadel says is impossible can, in fact, be his. That Fadel still has the capacity to trust and be trusted the way he so desperately, painfully longs for.

I know a lot of people have said Style in this episode is writing cheques he has no ability to honour, but I think it's more layered than that. Because in a very significant and profound way, Style is wholly deserving of Fadel's trust. Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. Style is a man who would stare into Fadel’s darkness and reach out first. Strip away the complication of Kant being blackmailed and dragging Style into his mission, and Style is literally perfect for Fadel. He is exactly what Fadel wants (and possibly has wanted for a very long time). He is, in fact, exactly what Fadel needs to ever experience anything beyond the shadow of a life he's had so far.

But oh, the cruel narrative means that Style is also, simultaneously, painfully undeserving of Fadel's trust; and this is something Style is very much aware of. I think that's why he's trying so very hard to be worthy in all the other ways he can be. Style's awareness of what Fadel is hiding enables Style to (counterintuitively) be completely honest about his feelings for and about Fadel even as he cannot reveal his motivations. So he gives Fadel as much honesty as he can: offers the vulnerability of his own pain and hurts; the comfort of his true understanding and acceptance.

And just as Fadel's vulnerability in the abandoned factory was met with Style choosing a form of physical connection that prioritised Fadel's pleasure (it's made very clear that Style is jerking Fadel off and that all his focus in that moment was on Fadel, not his own pleasure), so too is this moment met with Style very intentionally choosing to worship Fadel's body with all the tenderness and genuine emotional weight that Style wanted Fadel to have in their first time in the storeroom.

Because, crucially, this was Style giving Fadel the chance to lay himself at least physically bare. This is the closest either of them can get to full honesty with the secrets they both are keeping. It's why Style tries so very hard to show the care and adoration and genuine feelings he has for Fadel. Why he makes sure that the vulnerability of Fadel getting himself as drunk and as relaxed and as trusting as Fadel can allow himself to be is tied only to gentleness and tenderness and pleasure.

Because Style actually knows that Fadel can't (and shouldn't) trust him in the way Fadel truly wishes to.

And as much as I believe that Style genuinely means this from the bottom of his heart, the horrifying full truth is that it is Style that has the metaphorical knife hovering over Fadel's chest. He is the one with the capacity to actually give Fadel a new scar that would truly matter. He is, in fact, the only one Fadel wants to fully trust -- and this, along with Style's compromised heart, makes it so that the circumstances will doom them both.

[robby-bobby-tommy]

Nah, this ending was the saddest imho

[deadbaguette]

Commission for @aster-aspera ❤️

For their fic ‘Killing Floor’ in the AMAZING series ‘Wishbone’ !

It was so fun working with you :D

[cowgirls-blues]

Have a moody tired junior year Fig doodle, it's good for your catharsis

[owlsie-hoot]

Siegfried: It looks like a particularly nasty dog bite. Where did you find him? Audrey: He were curled up in the shed. Siegfried: Our shed? Is this the same fox that boy brought in? Audrey: It is. // ACGAS Christmas Special 05.07

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Favorite Buddie Moments Per Episode: 7x1 Abandon Ships (Part 2)

[luanggie]

❤️‍🩹

[lilimakesgifs]

Silo 2x03 | Solo

You know, there's a theory about what causes the Syndrome. It's not a blood disorder, or a vitamin deficiency it's just a natural human reaction to an unnatural situation. Human beings are not meant to live underground. None of us have walked a straight line for more than two hundred feet. Except for Juliette Nichols.

[yeonbam]

did you immediately think of how joke probably thinks this is the first time he stole from jack, and in doing so, he had stained him forever or are u normal

did u immediately think by returning it, he's not only voluntary giving up on the one thing he ever let himself cling to, he's also translating a regret to have met, a desire to turn back time and walk away before he could ruin the one life he always wanted to protect or are u normal

and goddd... that loser - lover tattoo of his. he can steal anything in the world except a heart, except happiness and love. those are things he is destined to lose.

[raviraaa]

she didn‘t do this, erik.

you did

[royalarchivist]

[ Volume warning at the beginning ]

Quackity: LUZUUUUU!!!

Luzu: [Shifts happily]

Quackity: Luzu! Luzu!!!! Luzu, I love you very much! Luzu I love you very much!

Luzu: [In chat] Hello Quackity how are you

Quackity: You don't speak, you aren't speaking, [he's] speaking in English, [he's] speaking English. He speaks in English, he speaks in English! [He switches his translation box]

Luzu: [In chat] Como estas? [How are you?]

Quackity: No no, I speak English too! I speak English too, I'm so good– wait. ...Hello? Are you not able to speak to me? Are you not able to speak to me?

Luzu:

[ Translation: i speak anything ]

[mrs-gauche]

I beat Veilguard.

It's 4am. I'm a mess. I'm in tears.

[federal-goose]

literally obsessed with pinocchio’s “i see myself only as the son of geppetto.” he’s standing before an entity whose power he cannot possibly comprehend and who could shred him into toothpicks with a snap and his only thought to identify himself is his father. lou wilson has beefed high charisma rolls before (lookin at you, gunnie “now you’ve been granted advantage” miggles-rashbax) but that line was a beautiful moment of humility and truth that strips pinocchio down to his core. absolutely unmatched.

[pokemon1oadvanced]

Jurassic World Chaos Theory Season Two Spoilers

Now this has always been my favourite Benji moment

But this-

I love this.