#mom pushed tomboy look on me

[slightlyhowling]

Some were almost true or similar.

[the-record]

kissing lessons: 2

synopsis: ellie was your first kiss, but she moved away and you never spoke again. what happens when she moves back to town ten years later?

song: kissing lessons - lucy dacus

pairing: college!ellie x reader

warnings: mean moms, implied homophobia

a/n: uhm wow thank you so much for all the love the first part 🫶 yall are angels and i love u all! thinking this is a series!!!!!!

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

“damn. you grew up.”

you laughed, coming over and pulling ellie into a hug. “so did you, jesus.” you let go of her and joel pulled you into a hug of his own. “hi mr. miller.”

“jesus kid, how many times do i have to say not to call me that! its joel.”

the air was awkward as you pulled away from them both, memories of your childhood floating through your mind. “so, uhm, what are y’all doing back here? thought you wanted to be close to tommy?”

joel sighed and leaned on the cart he had been pushing. “yea, well, ellie wanted to go to school here.”

“they’ve got a great art program.” ellie interrupted. “didn’t think id get in, but i did on a scholarship, so we decided to come back.”

you smiled at her. “wow that’s amazing, you’ll have to show me your stuff some time!”

“absolutely, shes amazing.” joel said, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “what about you, are you still in school?”

you sighed and switched your basket to the other hand. “unfortunately, last year though!” you smiled.

“thats the spirit.” joel pat you on the shoulder. “we better get going, but it’s good to see you angel. hope we get to see more of you.” he turned back to the cart, looking at the list as he headed down the cereal aisle.

ellie cleared her throat before speaking again. “hey, can i get your number? y’know so we can catch up?”

“yeah, of course!” she slipped her phone into your hands, watching as you added your number to a new contact. “it’s really good to see you.” you said as you put your free arm around her neck in a hug.

“yea it is.” her arm squeezed your middle for a moment before you both let go, heading opposite ways. “see you around angel.”

“what’s got you so smiley?” your mom wondered as she chopped vegetables beside you.

you set down the knife your were holding, turning around to lean on the counter. “you remember ellie? the girl i was, like, best friends with in elementary school?” she nodded, her eyes flashing between you and the onion. “saw her and mr. miller at the grocery store. i guess they’re moving back so ellie can go to school here.”

she hummed, no reaction on her face. “will you get the chicken out the fridge for me?” she looked up when you didn’t move, just staring at her. “what?”

“you tell me.”

she sighed and set down her knife, getting the chicken herself. “i just… i never liked that girl.” she closed the fridge door and cut open the chicken, putting it in a bowl with some seasoning. “mr. miller is very kind, and his sarah is a sweetie.” she clicked her tounge. “but ellie seemed to be a bad influence on you. something off about that girl.”

you knew exactly what she meant.

ellie was a trouble maker. back-talking teachers, and pranking neighbors. and she was never the girly-girl the moms wanted her to be. too tomboy-ish for their daughters.

too queer for them.

“whatever.” you left the kitchen, grabbing your keys and walking out the front door like you used to all those years ago. you heard your mom call out for you as you left, but you ignored her, getting in your car and pulling away.

ellie had texted you earlier to give you her number, claiming she was always free.

e: hey angel its ellie 3:48

a: hey. glad i saw you today. 3:52

a: when are you free? 3:52

e: always 3:54

a: u free now??? 5:36

e: yea come over 5:36

e: sent a pin 📍 5:37

ellie raced down the stairs as you knocked on the door, yelling at joel “i got it” before he could get up.

he laughed and turned back to the tv. she’d done that as a kid too, never more excited than when you came over. she composed herself before unlocking and opening the door, a shy smile on her face.

“hey, come in.” she stepped back, watching you come inside and slide off your shoes along side hers. she took your hand, a habit she never dropped, and led you upstairs to her room.

“hey angel!”

you smiled softly, peeking around a corner and seeing joel watching the news. “hi mr. miller.”

“it’s joel!”

ellie rolled her eyes, pulling at your arm. you scoffed, letting her guide you. “now, my room is just bones right now. im only here temporarily so…”

she wasn’t joking.

her bed frame sat against a wall not put together, all her stuff in boxes. a suitcase sat by the closet with clothes and essentials. her mattress tucked in a corner with sheets and a pillow. walls bare and books hidden.

“this is boring.” you teased as you flopped onto her mattress face first. when you looked over to ellie she was standing awkwardly at the door, hands at her sides and eyes on the floor. “what the hell are you doing?”

she shrugged, shuffling forward. “ ‘don’t know. feels weird.”

you laughed, staring at her incredulously. “you just yanked me up your stairs to your room, and now it’s weird?”

“you’re right.” she stood at the foot of the mattress before falling on top of you.

“jesus!”

ellie gasped and rolled off you. “do not say the lord’s name in vain missy! can you imagine what your mother would do if she heard?”

she felt the energy sour at the mention of your mom. “you okay?”

she watched as you sat up and followed suit, sitting criss cross in front of you. “i hate living with her. she finds a way to ruin everything.” you picked at the hole on your jeans, pulling at the white threads.

“let me guess,” ellie said, leaning onto her hands behind her. “not so happy to hear im back in town.” you looked at her with a guilty expression. “she never liked me. none of the moms did.”

“yea, well, theyre all idiots.” you huffed and picked at her jeans instead. “she just… any time im excited she has to find a way to ruin it. i just wanna move out.”

you were both silent for a minute. ellie watched as you picked and twisted the the strings on her pants, separating them just to pinch them back together. “move in with me.”

your head shot up to look at her.

[cartoonsinthemorning]

Soft chunky fem!stan who still loves boxing and wants to show off how strong she is to Ford so she crushes a watermelon in-between her thighs🚀🌋💥

Hey there anon! It's your unlucky day, because I know you where hoping for art, but I'm the mood to write, instead. You get a short fanfic. I HC that fem!Stan (just gonna call her Stan from now on, short for Constance) isn't allowed to box. Even more than that, actually: Filbrick didn't allow her to take boxing lessons, and Caryn forbid her to box at all, because "You already inherited your father's nose, sweety! What would become of your face if you broke it? your face is the one good thing you have...don't look at me like that, you know you're too fat". So, of course, Stan convinces Ford to give her secret lessons. He said no, at first- he doesn't want to get into trouble, and doesn't want her to get hurt! She is a girl, after all! why can't Stan just resume ballet lessons, like mom wants? But Stan is not only extremely stubborn, she knows her Sixer will do anything, if she strokes her ego right. She insists he would be a great teacher: he's so good at explaining stuff to her! And he's got so much better with boxing, over the years, she is sure he's got amazing tips and tricks to share. Ford knows she is buttering him up, he's not stupid. But eventually, as he always does, capitulates.

Ford doesn't even understand why Stan is so enthusiastic about boxing. It's boring to him. But she absorbs all the basics fast, and gets so disappointed and whiny when he puts his foot down and says he refuses to spar with her, now that he taught her everything he knows. He would never, ever hit her, no matter if it's just to exercise. Stan protests that she will never be able to improve, without a training partner, but this time Ford means it, so eventually she stops asking. She doesn't give up, though. Stan convinces Ford to sneak her in the gym after everyone left, this time, to massacre the sack with all her frustrations. It is quite a sight to behold, and a private spectacle Ford can't help but admire. She's starting to pack up some muscle mass, under her soft curves, and she must like it as much as Ford does, because eventually Stan starts to do squats and even attempts push ups, at the gym and in their room. One day, she gets this idea in mind. She wants to prove herself, by crushing a watermelon with her thighs muscles. Maybe she saw the trick in a magazine or something. It's such a stupid stunt, that it makes Ford roll his eyes when he first hears about it- but Stan's eyes sparkle when she talks about it, so of course, he agrees to assist her. Stan goes for the biggest watermelon she spots in the store, first, but Ford eyeballs that it would take about 364 pounds to crush it, and she should humble herself a bit- for once. Eventually she settles for one that may take about 200-something pounds, and brings it home. Despite the downgrade, Ford is still convinced the challenge is way above her sister's current might. And indeed, he doesn't hide a smug smile when she squats down to press the melon with all her strength, and the fruit stays stubbornly intact. She's a knucklehead tomboy, she knows that, right? Let's call it a day and slice that thing up for a snack, before she gets all bruised up. But his sister growls at him she can do it! She just needs to press some more. Maybe try something different.... When she lies down and props herself on her elbows, gripping the melon between her crossed thighs, something changes.

Not because she immediately succeeds, but because Ford doesn't feel amused anymore. Stan is groaning, cussing, blushing, tossing her head back, while her long legs tense up, wrapped around that stupid melon. Both twins are sweating, but for entirely different reasons. Ford begins to be afraid the tension building up between his own thighs may soon be a problem, so he tries to call the whole stunt off. "Stan, enough!" he exclaims, getting up, hoping by realizing her sole spectator is leaving, she will give up. "WAIT!" she growls, panting furiously, chest bobbing up and down "I'M SO CLOSE!". Ford is frozen into place- because he's stuck by the sight of her, so downright obscene, and because she is right: the watermelon is cracking. With a gross, squelching noise, the watermelon POPS- making Stan moan in triumph and exhaustion, as the red juice wets her trembling thighs, traveling down- Ford gulps down a lump in his throat- down between her ass cheeks and lower back, and drippling on the floor. Some droplets even splattered all over her white shirt, peppering her cleavage with tiny, pulpy, red hearts and dots. The final straw, for Ford, is when she looks up at him and winks- she winks, the shameless teas that she is- and says, between heavy breathes "See, Sixer? Am I the strongest girl in the world or what?". Ford looks at her in what he hope comes across as deadpan, rather than sexually frustrated, and curtly replies: "Yeah, well done. I'm not helping you cleaning up that mess" before booking out, running to the bathroom. OMAKE: Stan bruised her inner thighs and Ford once saw her spreading ointment over it, and he busted the biggest nut by masturbating imagining he was the one applying it. THE END.

[misseviehyde]

BULLI-CURE

Looking down at the struggling girl in front of her, Lisa felt a flash of shame and guilt at what she was doing - though it was quickly expunged by remembering all the horrible things this bitch had done to her and Melody.

She had tied her daughters bully to a chair, and gagged her - using loops of rope to tie each arm to the chair rests and importantly each of Kayla's wrists, so each of the girls hands was accessible.

Now try as she might to struggle, Kayla was trapped and unable to stop Lisa from carrying out the second part of her desparate plan to fix things.

After all - wasn't this all her fault? She was the one who had paid for Kate - once her daughters best-friend - to get a set of nails from the salon down the road. She was the one who had enabled Kate to become Kayla.

Kate's Mom and Dad had always been neglectful, and Kate had almost been like another daughter to Lisa. She and Melody were joined at the hip and wherever her daughter went, Kate had gone too.

Kate always looked so drab, she never had pretty dresses or nice hair. She was a tomboy with no confidence. When her birthday had come along and her parents hadn't bought her a present Lisa had felt heartbroken.

She'd decided SHE would get Kate something nice. She would buy her a makeover and pay for her to get her nails done.

The salon in town had only been too happy to help. They'd asked Lisa exactly what sort of nails and makeover she'd like to give Kate.

"Oh, she's such a fragile little thing. Can you make her feel more confident and assertive. Can you also make it so that she gets to be the centre of attention for once and that her parents and everyone else spoil her a little bit?"

She'd driven Kate to the salon and ushered her inside. Kate had looked unsure, she'd never been to a nail salon before but Lisa had just smiled encouragingly.

"Go on - then I'll drive us back later. Melody may even be a little jealous of you, but she'll understand."

The salon had insisted that Kate go into a backroom and Lisa had waited outside. She had heard some strange noises in the back - it sounded like a woman moaning and the rustling of clothing, the clicking of heels.

Intrigued she had waited until the receptionist wasn't watching and then quickly snuck into the back. A strange pink glowing light was emenating from a partially closed door and sneaking over, Lisa had peered through.

"Mmmmmmh oh FUCK YESS! Make me into a bitch, I love how this feels!"

Seated in the centre of the room, her legs spread wide and a manicured set of fingers eagerly rubbing her tight shave pussy was Kate.

Her other hand was currently being held by a woman who was applying the last of a set of pink glossy nails. As each one attached to Kate's fingers they glowed pink and she screamed in lust.

The nails seemed to be changing Kate, each one was twisting and bending her body - corrupting her and making her into someone new. Her short brown hair was now long and blonde and as another nails slid into place, it became even silkier and sexier.

Soft pink lips pushed out into a pout as mean blue eyes shone with cruel triumph. Large firm breasts now pushed out from Kate's chest and she was as skinny and curvaceous as a supermodel.

Her clothing had transformed into an expensive figure hugging dress with transparent panels and long sleeves. Expensive jewelry dripped from her body and the smell of Chanel perfume filled the air.

Six inch heels now crowned Kate's feet, a matching pedicure to her new evil manicure on every toe.

Kate's skin was now flawless and tanned, her eyes made up with long fake lashes and her body a wet dream. She looked like a mean popular rich girl and her posture suggested she felt like one too.

As the final nail slid into place, Kate screamed and moaned in triumph. "YES! That loser Kate is fucking dead - I AM KAYLA. Mmmmh I feel so yummy and evil, I love what your magic nails have done to me."

Backing away in horror, to her shame a little turned on, Lisa staggered back to the waiting room and she was stunned a few minutes later when the newly transformed Kayla strode in and looked at her with a twist of disgust on her pretty lips.

"Drive me home you fucking loser, I have things to do."

Lisa didn't know what else to do. She took Kayla home, only when she pulled up to the house where she thought Kayla lived the other girl screamed in rage.

"Are you fucking retarded. I don't live here. I live at the mansion on 1st street."

Lisa found herself driving into the most expensive part of town. She dropped Kayla off in amazement, who without even a thank you strode off into the most expensive looking house on the street.

It didn't take Lisa long to realise that the nails had someone changed Kate and also the reality around her. For some reason Lisa hadn't been affected, but she quickly surmised it might be because she had witnessed the transformation and therefore been immune to some of it's effects.

To everyone else, Kayla was now the richest most spoiled bitch in town. She was a mean, popular bully who didn't care who she hurt.

Lisa went back to the salon, but they just laughed and said she must be mistaken about what she'd seen. A week later when she tried to go back with the police, it was to find the premises were closed down and the business had mysteriously moved.

Meanwhile Kayla's nails showed no signs of aging out or chipping. It was as if they were indestructible. They also seemed to obey her whims. If she needed yellow nails, they would change, if she wanted them French Manicured - they would alter to suit her mood. Lisa began to realise with horror that the transformation was permanent.

Six months passed and Kayla became the terror of the town. She was now dating the hottest boy at school and was relentlessly bullying Melody.

Once the two girls had been almost like sisters, now Kayla seemed to enjoy destroying and hurting Melody, almost as if it disgusted her to be reminded of her old life.

She would make jokes about Melody, physically push her around, spread malicious gossip and even turn everyone else against her. Watching Melody come home night after night, weeping and crying had broken Lisa's heart.

She had turned Kate into this monster, she had to fix it.

It hadn't been easy to capture Kayla. The bitch was suspicious and cruel, catching her off guard and knocking her out with chloroform hadn't been easy. Dragging her into the car, driving her home, tying her up... it had all been difficult.

But now she was here and Lisa was determined to remove the evil magic nails from her if it killed her.

Kayla was fighting like a wild cat as Lisa grabbed her hand and examined the nails. They looked glossy and hard, powerful and impossible to remove. She grabbed a bottle of the strongest nail remover she could find and dumped it over the nails.

She waited a few minutes and yanked at one, but it was welded to Kayla's finger and appeared unaffected by the varnish remover The girl snarled, but her eyes flashed triumphantly. Her eyes said 'you fucking bitch, this isn't going to work'.

Lisa felt a surge of despair. Next she tried a solvent, but that didn't work either. The nails were magical and unaffected by anything she did.

Sobbing Lisa reached down and her own nail clashed against Kayla's. She felt a strange tingle and as she watched the colour began to flow from Kayla's fingernail onto her own.

Lisa's mouth dropped open as she watched one glossy nail transfer to her index finger - smooth, pink and sexy. Kayla convulsed and Lisa saw to her astonishment that her hair was suddenly shorter and darker than it had been.

The nails couldn't be removed, but they could be transfered to a new host!

Pinning down Kayla's hand, Lisa carefully lined up her nails with Kayla's and touched them. She moaned as she felt the slutty evil nails sliding across and sucking onto her own hand. Each one locked into place, and she flexed her fingers admiring the smooth glossy claws and how good they looked.

"Mmmmh fuck yes, give me more," snarled Lisa laughing to see the fear in Kayla's eyes as her body began to change back into Kate's. "Not so cocky now are you bitch?"

Reaching down with her other hand - whilst using her manicured hand to touch herself, Lisa moaned pleasurably as she felt the rest of the nails transfer over to her.

Her whole body tingled and she felt her aging skin become smoother and her hair take on lustre and depth again. Her sagging tits pushed out and swelled up as her ass expanded and her drab clothing became expensive and rich.

Lisa could feel her personality changing and it felt good. Why be some fucking boring housewife when she could be a hot slutty rich bitch who got everything she wanted.

"Ohhhhh Kayla... or is that Kate? I paid for these nails so I must be their true owner. That must be why I was able to transfer them over to me. Now I'm the bitch and you're nothing!"

Lisa stretched, enjoying how good her now younger and fitter body felt. "Mmmmh ohhh yes, that sadsac Lisa is gone, I'm Isla the trophy wife now. My husband is a rich loser who can't stop me cuckolding him every chance I get. My daughter Melody is the biggest bitch in town and you're her pathetic victim."

Kate was now back to normal and staring up at the dominant woman in front of her in horror.

Suddenly the door opened and a big titted blonde bitch in a cheerleader uniform walked in. She looked a little bit like Melody, but a twisted and evil version.

"Hey Mom, what is this loser doing tied up in our house?"

Isla laughed at her protegee and stroked her daughters hair. "She's yours to play with daughter. I hope you enjoy."

Leaving Kate's fate with her daughter, Isla strode away. She had a date with a big black cock and she couldn't wait to wrap her evil new nails around it. Being bad felt so good.

Nothing beat having a good bulli-cure on your fingers...

THE END

[2pen2wildfire]

Saw a post that reminded me of this but it's just so funny (/neg) how transphobes will try to "compromise" with you on your identity by suggesting you be something that they are still bigoted towards. My mom used to show me videos and articles about how the "trans agenda" was "converting innocent lesbians", trying to convince me to "just be a masculine girl", as if she didn't hate the idea of me being a butch lesbian just as much. Like she did not want me dating girls, even as a girl. But that's the thing, when people do that, they're trying to push you back towards conservative, "traditional" femininity. Medical transition is too scary, too permanent. You'll chop off your healthy breasts and ruin your beautiful voice! So they try to convince you to just be a butch lesbian or bi girl, maybe even nonbinary if they're feeling like being a good ol' performative ally. If they can somehow accomplish that, they'll push further. Why can't you just be a tomboy? Some boys like tomboys! And if by some miracle they do that, they'll keep going. Just wear the skirt this once, honey, it's a special occasion. You don't have to be so masculine all the time, what you need is a man to make you feel safe in your femininity! And suddenly you're repressed and miserable and in a temple marriage to a man who doesn't see you for who you are but you look pretty in family photos and you're having healthy babies so what does it matter that you hate yourself?

[oneshotnewbie]

if u r still takin requests can I request a jj from cm daughter reader 1 shot? we don't get to many of those on here

Authors note: I didn't know if you wanted the reader to portray a teenage daughter or a young daughter, so I just went with the younger daughter idea

ᕚ---ᕘ

“Mommy,” you called in a loud voice across the entire playground as you sat on the slide, your two pigtails shaking with every movement of your head. The blonde quickly got up from the bench in the shadows and headed for the play structure you had chosen to play with.

She stood in front of the end of the slide, leaned forward with a smile and clapped her hands several times in amusement. "Come on then, Love Bug!" you slowly slid to the stainless steel edge of the sloping level, pushed yourself forward and then raised your little arms. Laughing, you squealed with every bump you slid over before falling into her arms. "Hey, I got you."

JJ spun you around twice, tickling you in the process and making you laughter spread in her ears. A moment later she dropped you back onto the grassy ground and you hugged one of her thighs satisfying before running away. "Again! Mommy, come with me?" you asked your mother and came back to her. Your small hand wrapped around two of her fingers and pulled her with you with all your strength to get to the ladder of the play tower.

"Baby, I think I am too big for the slide," the blonde communications coordinator laughed as she started to climb the small steps higher, almost hitting her head on the wooden plank. With great difficulty she crawled after you through the parkour and as she watched you nimbly climb through and overcome all the hurdles, she thought about the past five years and the time when she had held you in her arms for the very first time.

You were born with only 2800kg and a height of 52cm and had enriched her life with so much happiness. And now you had actually almost completed your fifth year and were a real tomboy. No wall was too high to climb or jump down and as your girth increased, it became increasingly difficult for her to keep up with the lively girl and romp around.

"Mommy, let's go!" A small, cute voice called upon her thoughts and she looked up from the wooden floor. You had now reached the slide and waved her over. She tried to get to you as quickly as you could, looking at her watch. It was time to go back to the office, her lunch break was over.

"Slide with me one more time and then we will go," she called to you and you began to stomp your feet and fold your arms under your chest in frustration. "No mom!" you explained forcefully, a pout spreading across your face. You had your own mind, she could give you that. Stubborn like herself in her younger years, JJ recognized herself in you.

"Yes, sweetie. We have to go back to Uncle Reid, Aunt Emily and all the others." she tried to lure you and this announcement pulled. Your short legs were quickly back on the metal, your bum firmly anchored in its seat as you waited for the blonde. Meanwhile she had also arrived and sat down next to you on the wave slide. Your fingers intertwined with hers and together you counted down before sliding together.

After a long, one hour game session, you walked through the entrance to the office with JJ holding your hand, tiredly nibbling on a chocolate ice cream, your face full of the brown milk ice cream. "Well, who do I see there?" a dark voice asked, pulling your attention from your dessert. Looking up, you saw the grinning face of Derek, who got up from his desk and walked towards you with slow steps. In no time at all you broke away from your mother and ran towards him.

He quickly knelt down and opened his muscular arms wide open before you threw yourself into his arms. “Hey, my big one,” the special agent caught you and unceremoniously sent you flying through the air with the waffle. “Make a flyer." he demanded and you cried out with joy while you stretched your arms like wings.

Playing airplanes was a recurring ritual that you both needed whenever you were allowed to come to the office with your mother. While the blonde got herself a coffee, she listened to the loud cheers from you, mixed with other voices from her team, and smiled. You were happy.

A few minutes later she came back into the bullpen, you sitting on Emily's lap and drawing on a paper with her pens, your head bright red from playing with Derek. Your head nestled against the chest of the black-haired as you let her clean your face with a wet wipe.

"Is there any news regarding the case?" JJ asked as she finally sat back in her seat and booted up her computer. She watched your little eyes light up at your family and enjoyed the sight of seeing you happy. "Yes, there are a few. The victim succumbed to his injuries but managed to say the name of his-" Reid tried to finish his sentence and sound child-friendly, but he could not manage it. However, JJ nodded understandingly, knowing what he wanted to say.

The blonde turned to you, having almost fallen asleep on Emily's lap as she rocked you back and forth in her swivel desk chair. "Love Bug, come to me. I will take you to Hotch's office where you can sleep. Say goodnight to the others," you climbed down from the black-haired girl's lap and stumbled towards your mother, who soon picked you up in her arms.

You turned around, received a kiss on the forehead from each of your colleagues and then laid your tired head on your mother's shoulder. “Good night, we will see you later” spoke everyone in unison and waved at you. You waved back before your arms wrapped around the blonde’s neck and your eyes closed.

[hauntedlovewasteland]

The first time I came out was in 2009/2010, I was 11/12 and came out as a lesbian (I was born a female at birth) I knew from a young age I was attracted almost solely to women and not men and from a young age I knew I was different from my peers. I have always been someone that has been outspoken about myself and sure of who I am. I was also struggling with my gender identity for a long time. I was more boyish than the other girls I knew. On most of the major holidays and birthdays from age 5-9 i exclusively asked my parents to call me a boy name I had chosen. My mom had no problem with doing this, my dad on the other hand not so much. I remember that from between the ages of 10-16 I had at least 6 different conversations with my dad (mom died in 2007) about how I felt more like a boy, I didn’t like looking like a girl and I hated my birth name (my birth name was Candace Michelle) I didn’t feel like my name fit me. I didn’t feel comfortable in my body and I hated it. It wasn’t until the year 2014 that he finally accepted that I wasn’t just a tomboy, that I was transgender. I struggled with my mental health for many years, I struggled with suicidal ideation and more. It was January of 2015 the first time I went into the mental hospital because I was so close to ending my life that is what pushed my dad to somewhat accept me. We did research, found a therapist who was a gender identity therapist who would take me on as a client. We found an endocrinologist in my area that would accept someone under 18 to medically transition. I didn’t start my medical transition until 9/15/15, I was 17 and I was in my senior year of high school. It was one of the hardest bust most important year of my life. For first part of my transition and prior to it my dad was adamant about not legally changing my name for me. He said I would have to do it myself when I turned 18, but luckily my doctor who was helping my transition kept pestering my dad about how with my name still legally being a “girls name” the blood work I was getting done would be tested the way a woman’s would be and not the way a man’s would be and that was a no no, it wasn’t until January of 2016 my dad finally caved and helped me legally change my name to Isaac Michael. I think he did it in part of being annoyed by the doctor. I remember when we discussed changing my name legally I asked him if he wanted to choose my name, he had told me that it was my choice to choose my name that felt most me but he had asked me to make my middle name the male version of my birth name because had I been born biologically male that was more than likely going to be my middle name. So I did just that, I let him choose my middle name and luckily it went pretty well with the first name I chose. I was so grateful for this because this way I was going to be graduating as Isaac instead of Candace. Today I have been on Testosterone for 8 years and 9 months. I am so proud of myself and the journey I’ve been on. I am comfortable with my body for the most part and I’ve loved seeing how masculine I’ve become and being able to smile looking at myself and not hate what I see in the mirror. Here are some photos of my childhood, my teenage years before testosterone and than each year anniversary of being on testosterone

[joandavisscott]

hey, isn’t that JOAN DAVIS-SCOTT, who looks a little like KATHERYN WINNICK? i hear SHE is a FORTY-SIX year old CIS WOMAN who works as a VETERINARIAN & OWNER @ ASPEN CREEK’S VET CLINIC who has been in town for HER ENTIRE LIFE. they ARE a member of one of aspen creek’s founding families. you can usually find them at CLOVERFIELD LANE or CRYSTAL RIDGE WINERY. if you ask me, they remind me a lot of EYES AS BLUE AS THE OCEAN, A KIND HEART HIDDEN UNDER A TOUGH EXTERIOR, UNWAVERING LOVE FOR HER CHILDREN, A FANCY BOTTLE OF WINE, CHERRY-LIKE PERFUME IN THE AIR. just keep an eye on them & see if their true colors shine through!

tw for divorce, pregnancy.

FULL NAME: joan elise davis-scott. NICKNAMES: joey, jo, joanie ( by family only ). FAMILY: evelyn davis-scott ( mother ), james davis-scott ( father ). harold finch ( ex-husband ). jennifer carroll ( older sister ), three younger siblings.  CHILDREN: jasper finch ( oldest child ), matilda finch ( 12 year old daughter ). PETS: bambi & benson ( australian shepherds ), winnie ( orange tabby cat ). AGE: forty-six. DATE OF BIRTH: april 28th. ZODIAC: taurus. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual, biromantic. OCCUPATION: veterinarian & owner of aspen creek's vet clinic.

about joan.

Joan Elise was born and raised in Aspen Creek, North Carolina — the second of five children but she had a pretty easygoing childhood. Her parents were already the owners of the bustling bed-and-breakfast, inherited from her grandfather, and the halls were always filled with the children of the couple. Joan was and still is somewhat of a daddy’s girl, following James around from the moment she could walk and that’s how she became sort of a ‘tomboy’ growing up. Whilst her mom was the face of the bed-and-breakfast and the one the guests usually spoke to, her dad was the one behind the scenes making sure things were in order. And so Joan ended up picking up and learning most of the activities he did around the place, from changing a light bulb to assembling furniture to fixing leaky faucets. From a young age, she learned how to be independent, and James was extremely proud too.

Joan would come home from school and help out her dad in anyway she could, building a strong relationship with the older man. But she had other interests of her own as well, things that her parents didn’t really understand but helped in any way they could. She was the Davis-Scott that would bring wounded animals home, from birds to dogs, and nurture them back to health. She’d volunteer at nearby shelters and, when her teenage years rolled in, her parents would send her to the stables for classes. 

She grew up a very independent young woman, usually pushing away possible suitors in order to focus on herself. When graduation was fast approaching, Joan already knew what her future would look like — she’d leave Aspen Creek for college, become a veterinarian, return home and open her own clinic. It was a crystal clear vision, but it all changed when she met the man who’d be the father of her children. She couldn’t imagine it at the time, couldn’t even imagine herself as a mother, but she fell in love deeply with him and there was no denying that they would go the distance. Harry had dreams of his own, he was ambitious, charming, the kind of man that takes your breath away within minutes and leaves you wanting more. Joan stood no chance against him. They started to date and even make plans to move away together, chase after their dreams, but before they could, Joan found out that she was pregnant at twenty-one.

The news came as a shock to the couple, her family and to everyone who knew her. Joan felt devastated but only until her bump started to show, and that feeling was quickly replaced by one of adoration she had never felt before. Plans change, she accepted that, and became excited about being a mother. Joan and Harry married a few months before their first child was born, barely in their twenties, but planning for a lifetime ahead of them.

Joan became a mother and she had the dream support system, a loving husband, but her dreams wouldn’t be put to rest. When their child was around four years old, Joan and Harry then decided to pursue their college degrees together and moved out of Aspen Creek. They found a good balance between them, neither was ever overwhelmed, and their child was able to grow in a loving and nurturing environment. They spent ten years away from home, in between earning their degrees and internships, and then eventually decided to return home.

Joan returned to Aspen Creek as a mother of two, their youngest daughter having been born only a year prior, and a professional veterinarian. The family bought a home in Cloverfield Lane, thinking about the schools and how safe the neighborhood has always been. Plus, Joan was only a few minutes away from where her parents and siblings lived. And they lived happily ever after. Until she felt a shift in the relationship with her husband. They became distant, perhaps engulfed by routine or just grew bored of each other. Perhaps they were too young when they married and both started to slowly realize that they had missed out on things, despite being very much happy with how their lives had turned. Joan already worked at the clinic, and what little time she had outside of work, was usually spent with her children. Maybe it had been her own workaholic nature that drove her husband away but alas, they decided that they would be better off as friends and co-parents. The love they had for one another wasn’t enough anymore.

She wasn’t as sad as she thought she’d be when the divorce was finalized. Of course, it had been a tough decision to make, especially when they had two kids involved, but she wanted to see Harry thrive and wanted happiness for herself as well. With a fresh start ahead of her, Joan decided to take the plunge and buy the vet clinic. It has been five years since the divorce and Joan has dipped her toes into the dating game, becoming increasingly disappointed by the amount of failed dates she’s been to. She’s regaining her confidence and figuring out how to be a single woman again, and despite it all, she’s enjoying it. Harry has since moved away from Aspen Creek but she keeps in touch, and their kids are always welcome to come and go as they please — she also realized that their camaraderie has gotten much better since the separation. 

She’s just a forty-something single mom enjoying the ups and downs of life, whilst maintaining her unique nature and relishing in her newfound freedom. 

[mandiweirdmore]

So... Yeah I am part of the 80% of intellectually disabled women.

This is my story and why I believe children should have proper sex education in school and have a discussion with their parents. I Beg of you to know the signs especially if you are Autistic or a parent of an Autistic child. We are at such a higher risk than others and not having the knowledge of what sex even is makes it inevitable.

How can one speak up for themselves if they do not have the words to describe what happened to them?

WARNING- This discusses sexual assault, rape, and statistics of it happening to Autistic women. Please be aware of your triggers viewer's discretion is advised.

This is really hard to write about let alone speak about. I can count the number of people I have told about the incident on one hand. I suppose I shouldn't call it an "incident". Incident applies it only happened once... that is not the case. You may be wondering why I would post about it on the internet if I'd rather push the memory to the darkest place of my mind and never think about it again. I don't have much luck pushing the memories away they resurface every once in a while. I don't think I am the only woman who feels this way, so I want to share my story. I want you to know you're not alone and I want parents to know how to protect their children plus know the signs.

SIGNS TO LOOK FOR

Refusing to bathe

Bathing to much

Frequent UTIs

Isolation

Wetting the bed

Scared to be touch

Becoming a germaphobe out of nowhere

Nightmares

Refusing to change

Refusing to wear the clothes they once loved

Refusing to sleep

Becoming mute

Seeming on edge or jumpy

I feel sick typing the story let alone saying it but a therapist said writing the trauma down is a part of the moving-on process. I don't even have to show it to anyone might even just delete this. Then maybe I can work up to saying it out loud one day.

I was seven and I was a victim of child-on-child sexual abuse known as COSCA. It was my babysitter's son he was four years older than me and I had failure to thrive so I was always much smaller and weaker compared to everyone around me. I still believed myself much stronger than the doctors and my parents deemed me. I would wrestle anyone I was the definition of a tomboy girl who grew up on a farm. My father told me not to wrestle with the neighbor boys. To this day I wonder if he knew the boy had other intentions. It started with teasing and pushing me around. I was unaware of what friendship looked like I was young and undiagnosed autistic so I thought it was normal. I went there every day after school my mom worked insane hours and so did my dad. This was the time of the recession and my medical bills were insane because I saw a gastro specialist that we could not afford. My neighbors babysat me for free and knew of my family's situation that was used against me. The boy would make me go to his room he told me if I told anyone what he did to me he would tell his mom to stop babysitting me then my parents wouldn't be able to work. I knew we would lose the house or I wouldn't be able to go to the doctor and I couldn't let that happen. I didn't understand what he did to me or why he wanted to I just know I felt dirty and disgusting. I never wanted to be touched again everything was disgusting. Human bodies were disgusting and I did not understand them. It went on for months and only stopped because we did indeed lose the house and had to move. This fact made it all worse that I had been forced to do these things for nothing. I did not grasp what happened to me until I was seventeen because no one had taught me what sex was I learned from books all on my own. School taught abstinence and I never had a discussion with my parents about it.

I find myself frequently thinking of him. Does he remember what he did to me? Did he do it to others? I wish I had spoken up if not to help myself but for others. But truly how can one speak up when one does not have the words to explain what happened to them.

I want you all to know you are loved you are not alone. I felt utterly alone as a child because I didn't understand what happened to me so I hope my story can help you not have that feeling. COSCA is still sexual assault you are valid. You are not what happened to you. You are so much more.

[ketripon]

me ages 13-23: (makes distinctly transmasc statements)

everyone: oh shes going through a little phasey phase its normal every girl is a tomboy at some point in her life

me age 24: hello i would like to start using testosterone so that i can stop hurting myself

everyone: what the FUCK you are so selfish. no testosterone. also die so the archeologists can discover your FEMALE!!! skeleton later.

me age 34: hello i would like to ask again about testosterone.

new doctor who has sensitivity training about trans people: ok here is a list of things that will be permanently altered please sign this paperwork stating that you understand this and that you still want to proceed

me: okay done

doctor: cool heres a list of resources that you can look at to ease your social and legal transition process

mom: are they woke organizations that push people into transition

me: (mental equivalent of getting a dorito shard lodged in your gums)

[checkers-dance]

hi bestie ... im having a moment. i miss mx. i want to return to my roots (being insane about them) so ofc i have to go back to making weird aus abt them, thats how it works. so once again im mixing them with another hyperfixation of mine for my amusement, im very normal.

idk how much you know about eah, but it was a sister doll line to monster high that was significantly less successful. the gimmick was to focus on the children of fairy tale creatures instead of monsters. interestingly enough, while mh didnt really have much of a plot outside of the basic premise of "monsters attending high school" eah has a weird amount of lore. the main thing you need to know for most of this to make sense is that the characters are not simply the children of fairy tale creatures, instead they're supposed to become their parents and take their place in their stories, otherwise they will all disappear and essentially die. so the main conflict of the story is "do we follow in our parents footsteps out of fear and social pressure even if it makes us unhappy or do we follow our own desires" ANYWAY I SWEAR I AM ONLY EXPLAINING THIS FOR SOME OF WHAT IM ABT TO SAY TO MAKE SENSE JDNSBDB here is my au.

ch*ngkyun: he is cerise, daughter of little red riding hood. listen. cerise is ch*ngkyuncoded and ch*ngkyun is cerisecoded. she's always portrayed as very withdrawn but not necessarily shy. she's sort of a cool tomboy type. the big plot twist with her is that her father is the wolf, so she's part wolf. which is hilarious but also fits ch*ngkyun. im making him part furry like god intended.

j*oheon: i think he should be lizzie, daughter of the queen of hearts. its so perfect to me. lizzie is really cold and mean, which causes other people to fear her and makes her struggle to connect with people. in reality she only acts like this because she thinks it's what her mother would want her to do. deep down she's really sweet, and just doesn't want people to see past her front.

hy*ngwon: i struggled a little bit with this one but i got it. hes kitty, daughter of the cheshire cat. tbh kitty is exactly what you would expect, she's this trickster type that is always sleeping. i simply think hy*ngwon deserves to cause chaos.

m*nhyuk: he's such an easy choice. he's maddie, daughter of the mad hatter. yes eah character names are STUPID. maddie is also what you would expect, she's hashtag weird and chaotic, but also really empathetic and with a strong sense of justice. she's one of those characters that is happy with her assigned destiny but is willing to give it up if it means others can choose for themselves. i think all of that fits m*nhyuk pretty well.

k*hyun: listen. i have A VISION for him. i want him to be apple, daughter of snow white. so her whole thing is that she's this perfect princess girl who really looks forward to her happy ending and so she tries to push other people into also following their destinies, since she doesn't want them compromising hers. the thing is, despite apple's destiny being perfect on paper, it's canon that she's not romantically interested in the man she's supposed to marry in the future, which has some interesting implications. she's also genuinely nice and caring despite her flaws, and part of what motivates her is that she genuinely believes something bad will happen to them if they don't follow their destinies. and she has this really toxic relationship with her mom bc of all the expectations put on her. so she's MESSY. i think k*hyun deserves to be messy.

sh*wnu: idk why but sh*wnu gives me cedar, daughter of pinocchio vibes. she's very warm and sweet, she's one of those characters that has a lot of empathy for those with less fortunate destinies than she does. her main thing is that she can only say things that are true, so she doesn't have any control over her privacy or others. because of this she likes to paint, since that's a safe way to express herself. again idk WHY she gives me sh*wnu vibes but she does.

and ofc bonus w*nho: he is briar, daughter of sleeping beauty. briar is this extoverted and popular party girl. but she's also weirdly angsty. the main reason she's so outgoing is because she wants to live life to the fullest before being put to sleep 100 years and losing all her friends. i think w*nho deserves to have an existential crisis. briefly considered asigning ashlynn, daughter of cinderella, but i cant do that to him. hes innocent.

OK OK BUT LISTEN, CH*NGKYUN HAS DESCRIBED HIMSELF AS A LONE WOLF BEFORE SO BEING A WOLF FURRY DOES KIND OF FIT. And I can see why u'd associate him w the red riding hood character, Idk how to explain it but he just has the kind of "would wear bright red and get lost in a forest while looking for his grandma" vibe. I'm picturing him wearing one of his love killa outfits (little red riding hood but aged up and growing into a mafia boss career)

I can see j*oheon being a sort of mean girl character, I think he has the acting ability to pull it off. Sometimes in mvs he has this...mean, indifferent face on when he's playing a certain kind of role, and I think that would go rlly well w a pastel princessy aesthetic

HY*NGWON BEING THE CHESHIRE CAT'S CHILD IS SO PERFECT ACTUALLY. I can just imagine him w kitty paws in a purple costume. Also I think he has a cheshire cat smile sometimes. He deserves to cause chaos w j*oheon, they would make such a team. Mean but lonely character x chaotic and slightly evil cat companion

Also I love how we're having such an alice in wonderland theme here 😭😭. I feel like monsta x could do an alice in wonderland concept actually, but like, combined w a bdsm dungeon. Don't ask me how those 2 go together they just do. Anyway I can see m*nhyuk as the mad hatter child, I think he's actually made that comparison himself before. Or he's worn a mad hatter hat before, it's one of those 2

Also I support k*hyun being messy, deserves it. I also can see him in the role of a snow white child, he sometimes has this softcore dignified demeanor and this specific smile that goes w it. I think it would be cute to pair him w m*nhyuk as a treat, there's just smth abt ships that involve characters w opposing views and also w an orderly personality vs a chaotic one

Sh*wnu does kind of have pinocchio vibes 🤔. Like there are all the teddy bear comparisons of course (teddy bears and puppets are both technically dolls), but he also has an honest vibe. Also crying, it's so funny to me that u linked w*nho w someone who goes to sleep for 100 years, which mirrors his exit from the group 😭😭

[treyreddy]

BASICS »

Name: Theresa Reddy

Nickname: Trey

Birthday & Age: July 12, 1992 & 29

Hometown: Bray, Ireland

Length of time in Providence Peak: 2.5 years

Occupation: Professional photographer & artist

Gender & Sexuality: Cis female & bisexual

DIGGING A LITTLE DEEPER »

Trey grew up just outside of Bray, Ireland, in the foothills. Bray is a seaside town about 35 minutes south of Dublin.

So, yes, she has a pretty strong Irish accent.

Her family was very poor, meaning she lived off scraps and hand-me-downs. She’s the middle child of 5 — older sister, older brother, her, younger brother, and younger sister is the order.

Pop ran out on the family around the time her youngest sibling turned 3. He was never really missed all that much, he was a drunk and verbally abusive. However, his absence meant her mom had to work a couple of jobs to keep house and whatever food she could afford. Eventually her mom gave up on the older siblings, letting them fend for themselves mostly. Trey both loved and hated the freedom.

When it came to close-knit, Trey got along best with her older brother. Most days she was following him around and hanging out with him and his friends. Just being one of the boys with them, despite all the teasing for it.

Both in school and around town the Reddy family were outcasts, mostly because of their poor status, and the countryside was it’s own community where everyone knew everyone going back generations. The bullying and teasing at school was actually something a little easy to ignore. Trey didn’t have a lot of friends but she was independent enough that she didn’t really need much.

A hungry tummy and a lack of supervision meant that she got mischievous — sneaking into abandoned homes, exploring properties, stealing snacks from the market, etc. If the market owner ever knew what Trey was up to, they never complained or did anything about it. But she was caught sneaking into a home that she had thought to be empty, an American retiree had just moved in.

They became friends, him something like a surrogate father or attentive uncle. He taught her a lot of things and looked after her but he also thought she was a boy haha.

For a few years in her teens Trey kept her head shaved into a buzz cut and given her tomboy style and attitude, people that didn’t know any better mistook her gender.

After he found out though, he ran her off and told her not to come back again. That was the time it was really solidified in her life that people are generally temporary and don’t stick around for long.

When she was 13 her older brother went missing and was never to be seen or heard from again. For a good while Trey was devastated, he was her best friend and she was pretty lost for a while.

In school she did great, had excellent grades and went onto college a year early. There she found she had an eye for photography and could draw. With the push of a teacher she entered into contests and eventually won a few as she began building her portfolio.

With some success under her belt and some paid jobs that took her traveling, Trey moved to New York. There she really opened her up to all her talents, branching out from nature and landscape photography to much broader subjects and scenes.

In New York is where Trey met her muse and their relationship provided a lot of growth for her, both professionally and personally. When her muse wanted to move to LA, Trey reluctantly gave up her life in New York and followed them to California. Unfortunately the relationship fizzled out and they mutually agreed to go their separate ways.

Some of her work has been published in magazines like Vogue and Architectural Digest. In some galleries as well. The more she built up her reputation and portfolio the more she was seen and the more work she got. Eventually to the point of having a few shows at galleries with both her photography and artwork.

Leaving LA for Providence Peak was due to the work she was getting there and for the opportunities coming up with Colorado galleries. Plus, Trey and her muse had fallen into a bit of an on/off situation where they mostly still hung around as friends and did some work together, and they had asked Trey to come to Providence Peak as well. There were essentially too many reasons not to.

WANTED CONNECTIONS »

I’m pretty open here! I love the usuals: friends, neighbors, folks from New York or LA, anyone that she could have met while traveling, clients/subjects, the muse, exes and flings, and I’m happy to plot anything beyond!

LINKS »

BIOGRAPHY

MIRROR

MUSINGS

PORTFOLIO

AESTHETIC

[strangecoded]

Gender is not Therapy

Gender isn't supposed to be therapized, right? Like, I mean, I know people go to therapy to help figure it out, and like, get approval for gender reassignment surgery. But... I just????

I had this friend who told me once, when I was still in the very beginning of figuring things out, that "It made sense [I] was genderfluid because of [my] childhood."

Contextually: the only sibling close to me in age is an older sister who when we played pretend always made me play the boy. On top of this, my dad would always teasingly say "Yes, Sir!" when either of us scolded him. (Getting into my mom's cakes or pies before they were ready, sneaking around into chocolates when he couldn't have them, pretending to hide toys behind his back when we were super small, doing something wrong, making up silly parodies on the fly) I got called sir a lot. I was a child that scolded a lot.

But at the same time, those moments with my dad were irregular. I found myself alone a lot, regularly ignored and forgotten. Lots of siblings, have always had the sister from before and two or three more living with us at a time. When I was very young, we lived in my grandmother's house. And she... did not like me. I don't really know why.

She wanted a girly-girl for a granddaughter, and treated my sister like one. My sister, who preferred being a tomboy, being outside, getting dirty, HATED dresses. I was in every way her opposite. Loved pretty dresses, playing inside with dolls, looking pretty. Ironic that she always wanted me to play the boy then, isn't it? At that point in time, my dad was a trucker, so he was hardly home, and when he was it was clear who his favorite daughter was because she would eagerly do things he wanted to and I would drag my feet or cry on camping trips or car rides or, later, going out to the shooting range. He ended up getting a job after he quit trucking that led to me seeing him for only a few hours a couple days a week; my sister and I would go to school while he was still sleeping, and he'd go to work a couple hours before we got out, and wouldn't get home until we were getting into bed. He had a similar sleep schedule on his days off.

This is to say, he wasn't around home to mediate anything that happened regarding his mother, my grandmother. I was relegated to a second thought, a requirement that didn't need anything to be half as good as my sister's but still done so my dad didn't hear about it. And this... wasn't just from my grandmother. This was from my older brothers, too. The youngest of them 11 years older than me, and none of them willing to play dolls or dress up but encouraging my sister when she wanted to skateboard or play rough.

Disallowed from experiencing those things, I ended up pushing all ideas of femineity away for a long time, up into high school. Avoided dresses, never learned how to do my makeup or hair, wore simple, comfortable things. Told myself it was because it was what I wanted. I wanted to be invisible, I wanted people to ignore me, I wanted to plain, ugly clothes because pretty things were so uncomfortable, because they were more useful, because I was fat already and none of the pretty things were going to fit me anyway so why bother trying to hunt for it? The only remotely feminine thing about me was long hair, but it was always messy because I treated curls like my hair was straight. (spoiler: nothing about me is straight) But I pushed away anything and everything that made me... a girl. I existed in a vat of nothingness.

At least, that's what I was told.

I was told "It made sense [I] was genderfluid because of [my] childhood." without that friend blinking, because of those reasons. She knew all of that, had been there for a good chunk. She went off on a long rant, as well, pointing out all the above points, rehashing my life for me. Therapizing my identity. But that's... not how it works, is it? Gender isn't... a trauma response.

I lived under a religious rock, so I learned about nonbinary people in late high school. And I started questioning. I discovered I like being called "Sir" more than I like being called "Ma'am." I embraced freeing myself of "girl" or "woman" and found joy in skirts and dresses and nail polish and lipstick and fucking pink. But mostly when I think about gender, it's not a clear, immediate answer. It usually comes to the conclusion of "eh" because I don't... know? Or maybe I just don't care. Haven't... figured that part out yet.

💜

I'm done trauma dumping now. Guess that's that for this week's "What the fuck's up with my gender?"

[vinbee631]

What Our Parents Didn't Teach Us

chapter 3!! this is the heavy bit, I promise i have more lighthearted plans for the future, but for now, cw for homophobia, transphobia, blatant misgendering and deadnaming, + anxiety mentions and talk of divorce

the prompt for this was "no changes" which I... may have stretched a little but I like to think it still fits!

The last half hour of the drive to his parent’s house, Remus was a blur of motion in the backseat.

When Patton had noticed him picking at the red skin on his knuckles, he offered a fidget toy as a replacement, but other than that, he and his husband let him be. Remus had every reason to be stressed out, and there was no need to discuss the stimming when they’d had plenty of conversations about this day for the past week.

Everyone in the car was facing their own amount of anxiety about the day’s events. Roman’s sister, Remus’ mom, she was very well known for her unpredictability (and cruelty). She had kicked Remus out, but that had been months ago.

Roman was hopeful she was going to have a change of heart, but he was not optimistic. Mostly for Remus’ sake, but partially for his own. She was still his sister, after all. No matter how crazy or homophobic she was, a part of him was still the protective older brother, wanting to look out for her and make sure she was alright.

He tried his best to focus on literally anything else as they parked on the street in front of her house. Despite everyone’s initial anticipation, they sat in silence as the car ran, no one particularly eager to make the first move out of the safety of Roman’s car.

“We don’t have to go in until you’re ready, kiddo.” Patton unclipped his seatbelt and turned to check in on Remus. He still looked far too anxious for either of his uncles to be happy, but his determination won out eventually.

Hand in hand, the three of them walked to the door together, only breaking apart so Remus could be the one to knock on his parents’ door.

To Remus’ relief, it was not his mom that answered the door.

“Oh, buddy.” Remus let out an involuntary sniffle as his dad pushed through the doorway to wrap him in a hug. “Hey. Hi. Are you okay? I… I’m so- the apology isn’t even enough. I’m just… I’m so happy to see you.”

“Yeah,” Remus whispered, clinging back. “Um… sorry for blocking your number.”

Ron chuckled breathlessly, pulling away to cup Remus’ face in his hands. “I don’t blame you for that. I can’t deny I was worried, but… that was deserved. Uhm… would you like to come in? All of you?”

Remus took the lead, following his dad inside, with his uncles following in line behind him. After a few moments passed, and no one said anything, Remus flopped onto the couch, smiling as one of the family cats immediately made its home in his lap, purring away like nothing was wrong.

“Well, look who finally decided to show up.” Remus tensed, and found that almost instantly, he was met with two protective hands on his shoulders, one his dad’s and one his uncle Roman’s, who had both, apparently, taken a seat on either side of him. Patton stood nearby, and despite his lack of height, managed to make his stance very intimidating.

“Oh. And you've brought Roman. I suppose my daughter ran off to stay with you, then?”

“He didn’t run off, Candy. He called me to tell me he was no longer welcome in his own home, to which I drove two hours in the snow to pick him up so he didn’t freeze to death. But yes, he’s been staying with me,” Roman retorted.

Patton squeezed his hand tightly. Reassurance, mostly, and probably a warning not to get too angry just yet. Roman was… well, he’d try his best at that part.

“Of course, you of all people would play into her little- tomboy fantasy. Regardless, I am glad you brought her home. Thanks for stopping by. Oh, and maybe call Dad once in a while? He asks for you all the time.”

“First of all,” Roman huffed, squeezing Patton’s hand and Remus’ shoulder to keep his anger in check, “we’re not here to ‘drop Remus off.’ I didn’t even want to bring him here in the first place. And secondly, after the- endless amount of incorrigible things Dad has said to myself and my husband, I do not think I’m going to be doing that.”

His sister rolled her eyes. “Come on, you can’t seriously still be butthurt about that, it’s been years! And, I mean, he didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” Candy glowered in Patton’s direction, staring him up and down as he spoke.

Patton shivered as a chill blew down his spine, and not the good kind.

“Look, I didn’t come here to let my family get verbally berated by quite possibly the most homophobic people in my life, and I’m not talking about your husband. We’re here because Remus is likely going to be staying with us permanently, which means he needs to switch schools.”

Candy looked briefly furious, before allowing her anger to settle into a deceptive calm. “Alright, fine. You can take Regina with you. She can come and live with you as long as she wants. Or, well, she can live with you as long as she wants, until the police come knocking with a missing report and an arrest on file for kidnapping. That’s fine with me.”

“Candy, please don’t-” Whatever reasoning Ron was trying to come up with was quickly shut down by a look sharp enough to kill. She directed her attention back to her brother and son, who both valiantly avoided eye contact.

“Oh, changed your mind so soon? I can’t imagine why. Well, I suppose I’m cooking for one more tonight. Three more, if your uncles decide to stay the afternoon? Come Regina, you can help me crack the eggs.”

“You know what?” Remus pushed himself up to stand, meeting her eyes before she could turn away. “I didn’t change my mind. I know exactly what I want, and what I’m going to do. I want to live with my uncles, for however long they’ll have me. I want to personally obliterate any person left still calling me that- stupid fucking name. It’s not even a cool name! It means ‘queen,’ which is one of the most boring definitions, there are like- fifty different names that mean royalty!

“Every time someone calls me that, it makes me want to rip all my skin off and pluck my eyeballs out of their sockets so I’d never have to look at myself again. I don’t know what you aim to accomplish by making my existence so unbearable that I’ve thought about not living anymore so I wouldn’t have to deal with it, but it’s not getting you ‘your daughter back,’ that’s for damn sure.

“And you know what? Maybe my decision will change! And that’s okay too! Maybe one day I’ll decide that the name I picked is stupid, which I won’t because the original Remus was a badass and died in such a cool way, and also it kinda matches Uncle Roman’s which makes it even cooler, but even then, it doesn’t matter! Even if I do go back to the way I was before, the fact that you never allowed that transition to be an option for me, actively putting me in danger of myself because you didn’t educate me on something that was so, so important for years, means that I will never go back to having the relationship I did with you when I was little.

“So you can go around and say that you disowned me, or that You made the wise decision to never allow me back in the house, but in the end, it’s me that’s cutting you off. It’s me that’s ending the relationship. Because even if Regina comes back, she’ll never come back to you. Cool? Cool. Dad, can you sign this for me?”

Remus’ mom gaped, flapping her mouth like a comically deformed fish as Ron gracefully accepted the pen and signed off where his son pointed.

Roman stood right next to him, with his own husband, the both of them shining with enough pride to light up the entire house.

When the legal business was over, if you could even call it that, Remus’ dad reached out for another hug, which was gratefully accepted, and they both eagerly promised to call each other, while easily ignoring his mother’s furious gaze.

She opened her mouth to say something else, probably senseless screaming, but Roman cut her off. “Candy, as much as I love you, I don’t think any of us are actively going to listen to what you have to say. So unless it’s an apology or a kinder invitation for free food, I think we’re gonna head out. Ron, it was nice to see you, as always.”

Candy did a little bit more useless flapping, before letting out a furious screech and stomping up the stairs and slamming what they assumed was her bedroom door. Remus let out an audible sigh, leaning into his uncle Roman’s side.

“That was… not really what I pictured, but okay.” Roman chuckled, ruffling his hair. “Regardless of intention, you did good, kid. You feeling alright?”

Remus took a moment to process the question before nodding. “I mean, obviously that sucked ass, but she didn’t scream at me and I said what I needed to say. All of the other emotional shit I’ll be able to deal with eventually.”

“Language,” Patton chided gently.

“English.” Remus and his dad responded in unison, chuckling at each other’s antics until Remus’ smile suddenly dropped.

“Hey, why the long face?” His dad asked, having to crouch down a bit to meet his eyes.

“I… I just realized I can’t just- take you with me. And that really sucks, and it’s very extra not fair that I have to leave but you have to stay here with her,” Remus huffed.

“Well,” his dad started, “I lived with your mother for a long time before we even had you. I think I can handle it if she’s in a bad mood. If it makes you feel better, I can call when you guys get back?”

“I guess,” Remus grumbled into his shoulder as they embraced again. “But, you gotta promise that if she starts fucking with you too that you won’t- put up with it like I did.”

Remus’ dad hesitated. “Well, that depends on how you define ‘messing with me,’ because it might be a bit late for that, bud.”

Patton’s lips twisted in a concerned frown, but before he could even open his mouth to offer what he intended to be a kind suggestion, Ron raised a hand in protest.

“I… believe I know what you’re going to suggest. And, I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought about… leaving, in the past. It… well, Candy and I have been through a lot together, but when it comes down to choosing between her and my son… I don’t know that I could make that decision on a whim. Not today, at any rate.”

“Well, you’re not gonna lose me if you stay here,” Remus decided, “so you’re not choosing between anything. And like… I get it, I know you loved her way before any of the crazy bitch stuff happened, but- why not? What’s… what’s really stopping you?”

Ron sighed. “Well, mostly the emotional attachment, I will admit. Probably shouldn’t be talking to my kid about this, but- divorce is hard. I don’t… I don’t want that to be my first choice without giving her… well, she’s had time to redeem herself, but I think I need to talk with her first. About a lot of things, not just today. Things that… happened between just us.

“But! That’s a horribly depressing thought for another time. Would you boys still like to have dinner together? I can drive ya to the best pizza place in existence.”

“Oh my god, we have to go. I haven’t had Tasta Pizza since November and I am actively losing my life force without it,” Remus replied seriously, his mood immediately boosted by the offer. “You guys down?”

His uncles briefly made eye contact, but it wasn’t even really a question. “As long as I can drive instead, I suppose that can be arranged.”

Remus cheered, nearly dragging his dad out the door, already chattering excitedly about their trip, bemoaning the loss of the supposed best pizza in existence.

Seeing his dad smile, truly smile, as they fought over which slices were bigger was just enough to release the tightness in Remus’ chest, keeping his spirits up even as they drove home without him.

[crestfallencrest]

Bravus Vesperia Magica (Ch. 3)

(Basically a Magical Boy/Girl AU origin story!) Read here on Ao3 [x] (Notes at the end) Read Chapter 1 here! [x] Read Previous Chapter here! [x] Hi! Surprise! I actually got this out before my trip which was a big surprise for me! [Enter Victory Fanfare here] So starting this chapter off with a tiny POV change! Just a tiny one! There will be some tiny POV changes here and there. And also some tiny hints and tiny reveals of how Yuri and Flynn's life was like before now in this chapter! And a tiny peek into Yuri's head once more! Enjoy!

Chapter 3: White Lily

“Ah– Karol, where are you off to?” 

Karol skids to a stop, holding his bag close to his chest as he whirls around to face Flynn. The blonde was currently moving out of the kitchen, tying his apron around his waist and he raised a curious eyebrow at the small boy.

“Oh, nowhere!” Karol answers quickly as he glances for the door. “I just need to go… uh… tend to Mom’s garden.” 

Flynn’s eyes trail over to the door in question. “The flowerbed outside?” He questions and then offers a gentle smile when Karol nods a bit too quickly. “Well, I haven’t started cooking yet. I can help you, if you’d like.”

“No, no, that’s okay!” Karol holds out both of his hands to stop Flynn from moving towards the door. “I can do it! It’s… part of my chores!” 

Flynn tilts his head, looking rather confused before slowly relenting and moving to step back into the kitchen. “Okay… Well, don’t go too far, alright? Dinner won’t be too long.”

Karol isn’t sure why a chill shot up his spine but in order to focus on the task at hand, he chooses to ignore it. “Uh… Right. Well, I’ll be right outside if you need anything!”

“And if you need anything, let me know, okay?” 

“Sure thing!” 

And with that, Karol was out the door with a flash. He hopped off of his stone porch and ran past his mother’s flowerbed and towards the shed so he could grab the watering can and her small digging shovel. As he went over to the water faucet, he quickly began to fill the watering can up with water before carefully making his way back to the flower bed. 

There were still plenty of flowers left within the garden though they had very clearly seen better days. His mother usually hired a gardener to take care of her plants while they were away but it seemed like maybe she had either fired him or he quit. Regardless, the flowers weren’t doing that great. A quiet part of Karol’s mind wondered if he should start tending the flowers instead. 

It would certainly make his house feel like home again. 

But first, he had a mission to carry out. He quickly moved over to a patch of empty soil and used the shovel to break up the dirt a bit as he began to pull out little packets of red carnation seeds. After breaking up the dirt, he quickly began to push some of the dirt to the side, ready to plant the seeds. 

For a moment, doubt began to rest in his mind. It was only a rumor that he had heard, after all. A rumor that Nan was a huge fan of carnations. He didn’t know if it was true or not but he… just wanted to surprise her with something nice. And even if she wasn’t as into carnations as the rumors suggested, she still had to at least think that flowers were a nice gesture, right?

…Except… What if she was allergic? Or what if she actually hated flowers? Nan had a soft side, of course, but she was also just as much of a tomboy as she could be. What if the rumors were wrong? 

As he’s digging into the earth, he’s pulled from his thoughts as his fingers brush against a rather hard object buried underneath the dirt. Used to finding random rocks while digging around, he pushed the dirt aside so he could grab the stone and toss it to the side. But he’s stunned into silence when he pulls out an amber-colored stone instead. 

The stone was small and fit perfectly in the palm of his hand, almost looking like a lost jewel rather than an old rock. The remaining sunlight that was beginning to drift away for the day seemed to hit the stone just right, making it almost glitter as he turned it over in his hand, observing it closely. He had seen stones like this before and he was pretty sure they studied them in class. Though they usually had fossilized creatures inside of them… at least, so he thought.

But whatever this was seemed to be a perfect sphere and fully polished. Maybe it was a piece of jewelry that was lost? But then again, how could someone have lost this within his garden? Was it his mother’s? Did she accidentally bury it?

He frowns, eyes squinting a bit. It did seem familiar somehow… Maybe it was his mother’s! He turned it over in his hand once more, the familiarity growing stronger and stronger with every moment before he eventually decided to shove it into his bag to show to his mother later, when she returned home. 

If he didn’t forget about it by the time she finally did come back… 

Attempting to push the bad thoughts away, Karol continued his work, somehow feeling a bit more confident about the flowers. As he planted the seeds, covered them in soil, and then watered them, he felt a giant sense of accomplishment and pride in himself before moving to water the rest of the neglected flowers. 

It’s when he gets to the lilies does he give pause, lowering the watering can just slightly. He felt himself drawn to the pure white color of the flowers and felt himself reach out to poke at one of the petals. They were still standing strong but he had a feeling that they would only be in season for just a little longer. 

He remembered when they had first sprouted. When Yuri had spotted them, the man’s eyes seemed to be drawn to the white flowers with an unwritten expression on his face and Karol couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Yuri had liked lilies at the time. Every time he walked Karol home, his eyes seemed to drag over to the white flowers in question. 

He pursed his lips and seemed to consider his next actions as an idea began to hatch in his head. Yuri seemed so busy and tired lately and he did so much for him. Karol should definitely do something nice for Yuri, right? Maybe a gift of flowers for Yuri would be nice too? Would his mother even notice if the lilies were gone? What if Yuri didn’t appreciate it?

He hears the front door open and the lightbulb goes off in his head. Oh, of course! Flynn and Yuri were childhood friends! If anyone would know, Flynn would, right? “Hey Flynn!”

Flynn was halfway out of the door before he heard Karol call out to him. He gives the small boy a smile as he steps out onto the porch and looks over the garden. “Hey, are you just about done out here? I think I’ve almost got dinner finished so you should probably head inside and wash up.”

“Yeah, I’m just about done… I just… um… I have a question.” 

---

Estelle had mentioned rumors of some monsters appearing within the city lately and it had sounded familiar at the time but Yuri had a hard time trying to remember why it had nagged at his brain as hard as it did. Maybe he had heard passing talk of it? He certainly would have remembered seeing a monster out in the wild. 

Yuri was laying in bed, staring up at his ceiling when the memory finally returned to him.

It had been a little under a month ago, in early August. He had heard the rumor about a week after school had started. It had been during their lunch period and Yuri had decided to just trail behind Flynn as the boy made his rounds through the school. As the newly appointed Student Council President, he took the role very seriously and was determined to make sure everything was in order. Yuri would have found it rather cute had Flynn not been determined to criticize his uniform every few minutes. (He was glad that Flynn seemed to give up on it a couple of days later.)   As they walked through the halls, he remembered how his vice president, Sodia, had wandered up to the two of them. How she gave Flynn her usual look of respect and adoration only for it to be replaced with scorn as her eyes found their way to Yuri’s, as was usual. The girl never liked him for some reason. He couldn’t possibly see why: After all, he was the pinnacle of perfection. Such a well behaved model student, how could anyone hate him? …Hah. Anyway… Sodia had torn Flynn away from him, not that he cared too much. But still, Flynn had asked him to wait for him so wait he did. As he had leaned against the wall that day, he couldn’t help but listen in to the passing conversations of students wandering the halls. Nothing relatively interesting had caught his attention. Mostly just talks of playing basketball after school, complaints of homeworks, students lamenting the loss of their summer vacation…  But he remembered one catching his attention. A group of girls, huddled by the stairs that led to the upper and lower floors. One looking pale as her eyes darted between her friends as she spoke, voice urgent and frightened.  “I swear, it wasn’t a bear…!”  “So, was it a wolf, then?”  “No–! I–I don’t know… I don’t think it was.” “It really just sounds like you came across a bear and just freaked out. Maybe your imagination is just making it a lot worse than it actually was.”  “M-Maybe…” “Or maybe she ran into the curse of the Quoi Woods.”  “Oh, stop that. There is no curse. Stop trying to scare her.”  Yuri found himself raising an eyebrow. The Quoi Woods… There was a park that wasn’t too far away from the school, The Quoi Park, which had usually been a pretty popular place for kids to hang out after school. It was actually where Yuri had met Karol for the first time. Despite the popularity of the park, however, the extremely dense forest that sat on the edge of the park had a different reputation.  It was always considered to be haunted or cursed and it seemed like every time Yuri heard about it, a new ghost story had emerged from the shadows. He was pretty positive that someone had made up those rumors to keep kids from going in and getting lost in the woods. Surprisingly, it seemed to work, since not a lot of people seemed to care about going into the forest. If Yuri cared just a tad bit more, he might have gone to explore it himself but he simply had better things to do than chase ghost stories. When Flynn returned from whatever Sodia had dragged him off to, the topic of the Quoi Woods was quickly shoved to the back of his brain, no longer concerned about the weird “Creature” that had apparently been seen. 

Yuri’s eyes open after he’s finished recalling the memory and he gives a tiny sigh of irritation. He had not heard much else regarding the Quoi Woods since that day. But he had a feeling that he would likely have to look into it, especially if there was a chance of it actually having some monster in it that would prey on unsuspecting people. If he had the ability to do something about it, then he would. He’d probably have to bring it up to Estelle tomorrow. If he wasn’t turned away at the gate for his fight earlier. 

If he was suspended, he realized that he probably wouldn’t mind too much. It’d give him some time to rest after going through one hell of a day. He had been trying not to think about it but the sudden responsibility that had been dropped on him left him feeling rather exhausted and overwhelmed by everything else going on in his life. Taking care of Karol, working a part-time job, going to school, taking care of Repede, and now… Saving the world? 

He could have said no. He could have turned down this responsibility but how in the hell could he? He always wished to help make the world a better place and this was a way he could do that, if everything Estelle said had been true. But even if he didn’t feel that way, he would have had to have been a pretty evil son of a bitch to turn down Estelle’s request. 

‘Sorry Estelle, I can’t help you save the world. I have a 5 to 9 shift at the restaurant today and then I have to do my homework.’ There was no way to make that sound acceptable, no matter how hard Yuri tried. 

So then, he began to weigh his options. Saving the world was definitely a priority. Karol was also a pretty big priority. He hoped that anything he had to do for the world wouldn’t interfere with watching over Karol. Maybe he’d have to talk to Estelle about that. Hell, maybe the responsibility wouldn’t be so heavy once they found the other members of Brave Vesperia? 

Yuri’s eyes trailed over to the sleeping puppy, laying next to his bed. As for Repede, his injury to his eye was practically healed at this point. Plus, it seemed like the canine was a lot tougher than he looked. After all, he was able to transform as well… at the same time as Yuri. He couldn’t help but wonder about the connection there. Was Yuri fated to find Repede? He wasn’t one to put much stock into fate but… well… It was pretty hard to ignore.

He would likely have to talk to his boss about his job. Maybe he would have to double down on making sure he knew that he could only work weekends at this point. He was a bit lenient before but now he should probably be more firm about it. As much as he hated it. He really could use the extra money. As for school… his earlier conversation with Flynn still rang loud in his head. 

“ Dude, if this school is pitching such a fit about me being here, maybe I should start putting my focus into shit that really matters.”  “Yuri, you better not be suggesting what I think you are–” “And what if I am?” 

He had said those words in a fit of anger but part of him really couldn’t help but wonder if staying in school was worth it? He never really expected to become much in his life. It wasn’t like he was planning on becoming a big time businessman or a doctor or anything like that. Maybe he could become a chef or something. He could start working full time somewhere and it would take one thing off of his plate. But even then, imagining the look on Flynn’s face if he decided to drop out would probably kill him. Flynn, for some reason, wanted so badly to graduate with Yuri. It was some sentimental thing Yuri wasn’t sure he understood but…

He sighs and throws an arm over his eyes. Man, this all sucked super hard. 

He continued to lay in his bed and carefully went over his options, over and over again. At some point, Estelle finally texted him to let him know she had made it home. Once her number was saved in his phone, he flopped back down onto his bed and continued to contemplate and think. One arm over his eyes and one arm hanging off the bed, he almost began to drift off as he considered his next steps when suddenly, a cold nose touched his palm, startling him from his thoughts.

He sat up and stared down at the source, seeing Repede had finally woken up and was staring up at him with a curious eye and a wagging tail. The worry and anxiety seemed to wash away upon seeing the pup awake and well and he quickly reached down to pick him up and place him in his lap. “Hey there, Repede…” He greets gently, scratching behind his ear. “Man, you had me worried there for a minute.” 

Repede gave a sharp bark as he leaned up to nuzzle his cold nose against Yuri’s bandaged cheeks, which earned a laugh from the man. 

“Yeah, I’m doing okay. The nausea seems like it’s worn off and I took some pain meds so the pain has worn off too. I’m doing okay.” He gives a gentle smile. “We’re both okay.”

The reply is another furious wag of the tail and another quick bark. 

Yuri continued to pet Repede for a while, thinking back to the large dog he had seen earlier. So Repede would be changing from a puppy to his adult form? Or, at least what looked to be his adult form? He had to admit, the idea of it all was rather cool and entirely unreal to think about. But he had seen it. He saw Repede’s other form and then saw him change back before his very eyes. He briefly wondered if it hurt, rapidly growing like that but Repede didn’t look to be in pain but…

“Repede, what did you think of all of that? Of getting to transform?” The question came out before he could stop it and surprisingly, the dog looked back up at him with a strange look of understanding. 

Instead of barking or whining, Repede simply leaned over to give the bracelet on Yuri’s hand a quick lick before quickly planting his two front paws on Yuri’s chest, trying to lick at the man’s cheeks again. 

Yuri laughed and leaned back. “Ew, dog breath– Knock it off!” He snorts as he lifts Repede up in his hands and pulls him away. “I guess that’s a good sign?” 

Another bark of agreement. 

Well, that was a relief. Yuri smiled and placed Repede onto his bed and then moved to flop back down beside him. “Seems like we have some work cut out for us.” He hums quietly, moving to grab his phone, mindlessly scrolling through whatever could possibly grab his interest. “I guess if you’re there to help out though, Repede, it shouldn’t be too bad, right?”

Repede lets out a yawn before letting his head plop down on Yuri’s stomach. He reached down and gave him another quick pet, taking this as an agreement. 

They sit in their silence for a while, just taking in the time to relax for once but his mind wanders to Karol and Flynn after a few minutes. Flynn wasn’t horrible with kids. If anything, he was as good with them as Yuri was, maybe even better. He had babysitting experience with the kids in the apartments in the Lower Quarter, after all. He was surely doing okay with Karol.

But he couldn’t seem to stop himself from pulling out his phone and pulling up Karol’s number, sending out a quick text. He just wanted to check in, make sure that everything was going well. Nothing wrong with that, right?

‘hey just wanted to check in. everything ok over there? flynn dead yet??’ 

Yuri grinned a bit as he dropped his cellphone to the side for now as he waited for the reply. Yes, Flynn could handle himself just fine and thankfully Karol wasn’t too big of a handful but… Karol also had a large amount of energy as a twelve year old and the only thing that let Yuri keep up with the boy was the unspent energy that he had as well. Flynn was once a rowdy child, just like Yuri, but the guy seemed to mellow out as time went on. Yuri, however, did not. 

So there was a chance that Karol’s energy was just a bit too much for Flynn to keep up with. A part of Yuri hoped so, so he could laugh at Flynn later. 

However, when Karol’s response came in a few minutes later, Yuri found himself laughing at the boy’s misfortune instead. He tried to repress the giggles but the desperation that came from the text was almost enough to send Yuri into a laughing fit.

‘no he’s not dead but I think im going to die. Flynn is finishing up dinner and I think its going to kill me. Or it’s going to come to life and ask me to kill IT. I’m scared. :((( ‘

Repede’s head lifted up, confused, as Yuri quickly tried to calm down from the desperate message sent from Karol and before he even knew it, he found himself standing up and pulling up Google on his phone, searching for the nearest pizza place in relation to Karol’s house. 

“Speaking of being heroes, Repede, I think we need to go save Karol from the horrors of Flynn’s cooking, don’t you think?” 

Repede slowly stood up and gave a big stretch before barking out another agreement as Yuri grinned and moved to slip his shoes on.

--- 

Yuri normally had no issue with walking the streets after dark. There was something a bit peaceful about it, walking down the empty streets, the soft buzzing of the street lights guiding his way, the rare and occasional car that would drive by him and the soft breeze of the warm summer night that would pass by him. It was peaceful and usually gave him the chance to stare up at the few stars that managed to break past the lights of the city of Zaphias. 

This time, however, he felt anything but peaceful. He kept a careful eye over his shoulder the entire way to the pizza parlor on the way to Karol’s place, making sure that someone didn’t get the jump on him once again. He knew that Zagi was out there, waiting to strike though he wasn’t entirely sure when that would be. He and Repede left quite a few wounds on the man in their fight earlier that day so surely he would have to take the time to recover… but Zagi was also just a complete nutcase. Would he really be against pushing past his limits just for another chance at taking Yuri out? So he proceeded with caution, watching his shoulder with Repede at his side, watching every spot that Yuri wasn’t. It made him feel a bit more at ease, knowing that no one would be able to sneak up on him between the two of them but if Zagi did deem to show himself, he would have to act as fast as possible, despite still feeling absolutely exhausted from earlier. Hell, even this walk was taking a lot out of him. He actually had to stop and rest at the pizza place for about thirty minutes after purchasing the two pepperoni pizzas that he intended on taking to Karol’s house. 

Thankfully, the boy did not live too far away. But still, maybe he would invest in a bike at some point. 

Another thing that made Yuri anxious, he thought as he continued his way over to Karol’s, was the giant star in the sky that usually brought him a strange sense of comfort. 

Brave Vesperia. 

The star was suddenly an eyesore. Twinkling in the sky like it’s legend hasn’t just completely rocked his world in a span of 24 hours. It was almost mocking him, in a way. He still had a bunch of questions and he was sure Estelle wouldn’t have been able to answer them all, considering that she seemed to be just as new as he was. But, if he was a member of Brave Vesperia, then what exactly did that mean? Was it just destiny? A prophecy? Reincarnation? All of it sounded like a cheesy plot line in a fantasy cartoon… 

He wasn’t sure what to really think about it aside from the fact that he really really hated the idea of some unseen power trying to tell him what he should be doing with his life. And because of that, he couldn’t help but feel a bit spiteful towards the star as well. After all, he wasn’t doing this because it’s his destiny or whatever dumb shit it was. He wanted to help Estelle because she needed help and it was the right thing to do.

Nothing else mattered, right? 

This was the conclusion that he decided to stick with at the moment as he began to make his way towards the familiar brick house that was right down the street. He could still see the lights of the living room and kitchen were still on and he could only hope that he made it in time before Karol succumbed to food poisoning. 

As he stepped up to the front steps, he glanced down to Repede, who looked back up at him with a tilted head. “Well, here we are, Repede.” He grins a bit as he moves to ring the doorbell. “Time to grace them with the presence of yours truly and his trusty partner, yeah?”

Repede barks out in agreement before turning his attention to the approaching footsteps on the other side of the door. Yuri lets his eyes trail up just in time to see blonde hair and blue eyes peeking through the blurry window of the door and he has to bite back a laugh upon hearing his voice come through, muffled.

“Oh, for the love of–”

Within seconds, the door is thrown open as Flynn greets Yuri with wide and surprised eyes. “Yuri, what in the hell are you doing here?!” He exclaims loudly as his eyes seem to begin scanning him from top to bottom, as if examining him for any more injuries. 

Yuri decides to distract him by shoving the pizza boxes into his chest and then reaching down to scoop Repede up into his arms, still unsure if the young pup was allowed in or not. “Oh, I was in the neighborhood so I wanted to stop by.” He hums lightly as he moves to peek his head in. “Hey Karol!! Are you there?!” 

Almost immediately, the young boy emerges from the hallway, having already changed into his pajamas for the night. Upon seeing Yuri, his confused expression changes to a wide grin as he quickly hurries over to the door. “Yuri! You’re back! You’re okay!” 

Karol’s eyes dart over to Flynn and then down to the pizza and a flash of guilt enters his eyes as he realizes that his text regarding Flynn’s cooking probably prompted Yuri to come to his rescue but it was quickly replaced with a wide eyed expression when he saw Repede in Yuri’s arms. Yuri snickers a bit. 

“Yeah, I wanted to stop by and check on you two. And I wanted to introduce you to someone.” He grins, looking to Repede. “Is it okay if I bring him in or…?”

“N-No– yeah, no it’s fine!” Karol stammers, looking extremely excited, almost bouncing on his heels. “Yeah, come in, please!” 

Yuri wastes no time in stepping inside, grateful to be out of the dark and into the safety of Karol’s home. He places Repede down and moves to remove his shoes by the door. “Okay, so…” He starts off, grinning at Karol. “Karol, this is Repede, my new dog! And Repede, this is Karol. He’s the boss man around here, so what he says goes. Got it?” 

Repede looks between Yuri and Karol before giving a quick bark of approval before moving over to Karol and letting the boy pet him. “Wow… Hi Repede.” Karol grins widely, scratching the dog behind his ears. 

Happy that the two seem to be getting along okay, Yuri hums in approval before looking at Flynn, who still seems to be standing there, dumbfounded with pizzas in hand. “Well, Flynn? You gonna go put those in the kitchen or…?” 

Flynn suddenly stammers, snapping out of his trance. “W-Well–” He huffs, gripping onto the boxes. “You really should have called, Yuri… I’ve already cooked dinner and Karol’s also not feeling well, so I worry that he’s not even going to eat the pizza… If you had called ahead, I would have told you this.”

“Aw… Karol’s not feeling well, huh?” Yuri’s eyes dart to Karol, who pointedly looks away, cheeks red with shame. 

Smooth one, captain. 

“Yes, unfortunately so…” Flynn gives a small sigh. “I was going to send him to bed early after trying to give him something easier on the stomach–”

“Um…” Karol suddenly spoke up, moving to pull Repede’s small form into his arms. “I think I’m feeling a bit better now… Can we try and eat some of the pizza?” 

Flynn pauses, raising an eyebrow at Karol. Yuri has to fight to hide the smirk on his face and Karol quickly begins to scramble for an excuse. “I–I think that maybe I was… um… just… worried about Yuri, that’s all! It really tied my stomach into all sorts of knots and… and now Yuri’s here and he’s okay, right?” 

“Aw, you were that worried about me, boss? I’m so touched!” Yuri throws a hand over his heart, dramatically, before he turns to Flynn. “C’mon Flynn, let's give the kid some pizza. We can use your dinner for leftovers. Maybe you can even take some to school tomorrow.”

Flynn’s confused expression had softened into one of understanding and Yuri immediately knew that he and Karol had won. And he also knew that Karol absolutely owed him one now. “Alright…” Flynn speaks softly as he turns away to take the pizza boxes to the kitchen. “I’ll go get us some plates then.” 

“Sure thing.” Yuri grins as he makes his way over to the couch, moving the plop down on it. 

He sits in silence, waiting until he knows for sure that Flynn has gone into the next room before he turns his head to look over his shoulder, giving Karol the biggest shit-eating grin he could muster. Karol clears his throat and looks more interested in playing with Repede than looking at Yuri. 

“You’re not feeling well, Captain? Whatever could have happened?” He teased, earning a groan from the small boy.

“Shut up, Yuri…” Karol’s cheeks are red again. “You don’t know what it was like. It was like I walked into a war zone. The spices almost suffocated me…” 

“Oh, I don’t know what it’s like? I lived with it for about four years. He started trying to learn how to cook at the age of twelve because his mom would end up working late and couldn’t be home in time to feed us.” Yuri snorted as he waved his hand dismissively. “Guess who was the test dummy for that? I forced myself to learn just so I could cook dinner for us instead of him.”

From his place on the couch, Yuri can see the look of confusion appear on Karol’s face briefly and for a moment, Yuri raises an eyebrow questioningly, unsure of what it was that he said that could have been considered confusing. Karol knew that he could cook, right? So what was so confusing–

Ah. Right. That. 

“Did you and Flynn used to live t–” 

“Karol?” Flynn’s voice calls out from the kitchen, causing both Yuri and Karol to snap out of their thoughts. Suddenly the blonde man peeks around the corner, eyeing the boy with a small smile. “Hey, Karol, since Yuri is here, why don’t you go grab the thing you put together for him?” 

There was a certain gleam in Flynn’s eyes as he spoke and Yuri couldn’t help but turn a bit on the couch so he could glance over to Karol, who’s cheeks have once again gone red with embarrassment. His lips fell into a frown. “Oh God, what did you two do?” Yuri asks with a huff. 

“N-Nothing!” Karol exclaimed quickly before jumping to his feet, putting Repede down carefully. “We just got a ‘Get Well’ present for you, that’s all!” 

Yuri’s eyes widened just a bit. “A present? I’m not sick though.” “You were stabbed, Yuri.” Flynn’s response was quick and a bit deadpanned. 

“No, I got sliced and it was my own fault.” Yuri corrected, crossing his arms. “You guys didn’t have to get me anything.”

“It’s really not a big deal.” Karol calls out as he hurries down the hallway, not willing to listen to reason.

Yuri shoots a look towards Flynn, having a distinct feeling that this was his idea. Yuri was never too big on attention like this. In actuality, he really wanted Karol to forget this ever happened. He did not want Karol thinking the whole ordeal with a big deal, even if it kind of was but he would simply be more comfortable if Flynn and Karol had just forgotten that it happened. That would be easier for Karol than for Flynn but, dammit, a man could dream and wish, right?  

Flynn, like the creepy ass mind reader that he was, seemed to catch onto Yuri’s suspicions immediately. He wanders into the room with two plates of pizza, setting one down on the table in front of the couch that Yuri sat on. He places the other to the side, letting it wait for Karol’s return before he moves to go get his own plate. “Don’t look at me like that. This was all Karol’s idea.” He snorts, the gentle smile not faltering in the slightest.

“Something tells me that you didn’t do anything to discourage him though.” “And why would I do that?” Flynn calls back, slipping back into the kitchen with a soft hum on his lips. Yuri bet that the bastard was using this as some kind of payback for something. He just knew it.

By the time Flynn was returning with a plate of pizza for himself, Karol is also hurrying back into the room holding something carefully in his arms. Yuri sucks in a sharp intake of air as his eyes zero in on what Karol was holding. 

A small red vase filled with a small bouquet of white lilies. 

As Yuri stares wide-eyed at the white bundle of flowers, Karol carefully moves them over to the table in front of the couch and smiles a bit shyly as he stands up straight. “I was gardening earlier and while I was doing that, I saw the lilies and… uh… I figured they’d make you feel better.” 

Yuri doesn’t respond. He feels a bit too brain dead suddenly to form a coherent sentence. He feels the couch dip in next to him as Flynn takes a seat by him. He doesn’t even spare the man a glance and instead, reaches out and runs a finger against one of the soft petals of the lilies. He felt a strange feeling settle in his stomach and he wasn’t entirely sure how to pinpoint it. He did recognize these from Karol’s garden, of course. He would glance their way sometimes but–

“You like lilies, don’t you?” Karol’s voice breaks through again, uncertain. 

Did he like lilies? Yuri wasn’t too sure himself. He always felt a little drawn to the flower due to his own namesake but only because it was hammered into his head when he was little from a warm and loving face that he could hardly remember anymore.

“Yuri?” Flynn’s voice speaks gently, concern right on the tip of his tone.

“Hey, ma? What’s your favorite flower?”  “Oh, Lilies, without question. Especially white lilies, but they’re not my favorite.” “Then what IS your favorite lily?” He remembered warm arms, hugging him close, pulling him into a warm chest with a loving laugh leaving her lips. Lips pressed against his head, a hand running through his hair. “It’s you, silly!” 

“They’re great.” Yuri says quietly at first before quickly clearing his throat. He gives a big smile to Karol, reaching over to ruffle his hair, making sure to make it as messy as possible. “You didn’t have to do this, boss. But I really do appreciate it. I’ll take good care of them.” 

Any doubt that Karol may have felt seemed like it was washed away the second Yuri began to ruffle his hair. Looking rather proud of himself, he bashfully looks and moves to sit down to eat his pizza. “I’m glad. You always seemed to look at them when we would walk home together so I figured they would be a nice present.” 

It was not on purpose, I can assure you.

“Yeah, guess I do look at them a lot.” Yuri sits back, moving to shove a slice of the pizza into his mouth. He tears his gaze away from the bouquet and glances at Flynn and, man , sure wish he didn’t do that. 

Flynn is giving him that look of uncertainty again, where he knows something was wrong with Yuri but he wasn’t going to bring it up just yet and risk making shit awkward. Yuri appreciated it but he also knew that it meant he was going to be hearing about it later. He appreciated that a little less. 

He quickly looks away and instead focuses on reaching out and grabbing the remote and switching it on, desperate for any sort of background noise instead of the weird silence. “So, Karol, anything fun happen at school today?” He asks, knowing that Karol would take the bait to talk about his day. 

As he listened to Karol ramble on about the ongoing events at his middle school classes, Yuri tried his hardest to ignore Flynn’s knee bumping against his and the way he could feel Flynn’s eyes burning into the back of his skull. 

---

After eating more than his fill of pizza and poking Yuri with plenty of questions regarding his injuries (which Yuri gave the same story he had given Flynn. He saw no reason to shelter Karol by hiding what had happened), Karol was very quickly hitting the end of his rope in the land of the living. Despite the fact that he was still capable of holding a conversation, one look at his eyes that were slowly beginning to fall closed told Yuri everything he needed to know. 

Despite it all, Karol would jerk awake seconds later and would rub his face, determined to stay awake for just a bit longer. From his place on the floor, he continued to rub at his eyes before letting out another yawn. “Oh… I meant to ask earlier…” His voice was thick with sleep, his body wanting nothing more than to pass out right then and there. 

Both Yuri and Flynn exchanged amused glances, knowing that fight all too well from when they were kids. 

“Yes?” “Go ahead, shoot.” 

Gaining permission from both Yuri and Flynn, Karol does not hesitate to ask his next question, a curious look appearing on his face. “Did you guys… did you grow up together?” 

Yuri snorted gently. “Karol, you already know this. Yes, we did.”

“No– I mean… like…” Karol trails off, trying to think of how to phrase it. “You guys lived together? Yuri, you were mentioning how you guys cooked dinner together earlier…” 

Flynn raises an eyebrow. “You were?”

“Ah… We were talking about…” Think fast, Yuri. “...about how you loved to cook for us when your mom was out.” 

“Oh… well, it was necessary but I think you loved it more than me. I mean, you started taking over the kitchen sometime later. It was almost impossible for me to cook then.” Flynn smiles a fond smile. “I dare say you’re in your element when you’re cooking.”

It was a hobby that Yuri had picked up during a fight for survival. At the very least, it turned out he had a natural talent for cooking. 

“So, you guys did live together? I thought you guys were just childhood friends.” Karol tilts his head, confused. 

“We are, just… Things happened and Yuri had to come live with us afterwards.” Flynn pauses, looking at Yuri. “Though, you were living with us, even before that.” 

“That?” Karol asks, unaware of the can of worms he was opening. 

Shooting Flynn a quick glare, Yuri shifts in his seat and looks back to Karol. For a moment, his eyes darted over to the bouquet of lilies sitting on the table. “I don’t remember hardly any of it but some stuff happened with me and my mom. And she and Flynn’s mom were good friends, from what I hear. So Mrs. Scifo let us stay with her and her family for a while. We were like neighbors, kind of. Neighbors under the same roof.”

Karol is quiet as he gives a quick nod of understanding. “Oh… That was really nice of your mom, Flynn!” He suddenly smiles. 

“It really was.” Flynn nods in agreement. “She was a really kind woman. Of course, at the time, I hated having a new roommate.” 

Yuri snorts, leaning back into the couch. He’s silent as he tries to wrack his brain for any memory of meeting Flynn for the first time. Unfortunately, as he mentioned before, his memory of that time was fuzzy, at best. Although, maybe fuzzy wasn’t the best word for it. Fuzzy implied that he had at least some sort of memory of those times. But a lot of his memories from when he was around five were blank. As if his memory had large gaps that were missing. It wasn’t too strange, however. After what he experienced as a child, it was understandable. But it admittedly stung a bit, knowing he couldn’t remember how he met Flynn. He couldn’t remember meeting Finath or Amelia. And most importantly, he couldn’t remember…

He finds himself looking towards the lilies again. 

“Oh yeah? How did you react?” Karol asks, laying his head down on the table as he glances between Yuri and Flynn.

“I’m pretty sure I locked him out of the room we were supposed to share one night.” Flynn chuckles quietly. “Yuri didn’t tell on me though. At least, not until my parents and his mother found him sleeping on the couch and asked him why he wasn’t sleeping in his bed. Guess who got the lock removed from his door that day?” 

Yuri weakly nudges Flynn’s side. “You definitely deserved it.” 

Flynn laughs again, moving to catch the hand that poked at his waist. “Oh, definitely. Although, considering you broke one of my action figures the following day, I believe that I had some sort of point.” He does not let go of the hand. 

“Me? Breaking one of your little soldier dolls?” Yuri doesn’t pull his hand away and instead just gives the man a teasing smirk. “Doesn’t sound like me. Sounds like there was an imposter in the house.” 

“Then there was the time you threw a baseball through my window…” 

“I feel like you had a hand in that as well.” 

“I’ve also got a scar on my leg where you hit me with a rock…” Despite it all, Flynn continues to smile and one squeeze of the hand lets Yuri know that there were no hard feelings about it. 

“Bullshit, I don’t believe you.” Because, once again, Yuri couldn’t remember. His eyebrows furrow, as he stares at Flynn’s face. He would remember hurting Flynn, right? Of course, their entire childhood was filled with bumps and bruises that they had given each other but…

“Nope, I’m not lying.” Flynn snickers and moves to pull up one of his pant legs to show a very small but prominent scar on the lower leg, near the knee. “I remember that you cried more than I did.” 

“I–” Don’t remember. “Shuddup, no way.” 

“Yes way. Karol, he–” Flynn turns to look back to Karol and his words die immediately. Yuri follows his gaze and whatever conflicting feeling he had surfacing in his chest immediately washed away when he saw the young boy’s face buried in his arms on the table, snoring gently. 

“Good job, Flynn. You bored him to death with your childhood stories.” Yuri reached over to flick Flynn on the forehead before he moved to get up from his seat, so he could try and get Karol up and into bed. 

He almost let out a yelp when the hand holding his own yanks him back hard onto the couch. Fingers slip from his grasp as Flynn climbs to his feet instead. “ Our childhood stories. Just because you don’t remember doesn’t make them any less yours.” He speaks gently before moving to carefully scoop Karol into his arms. “I’ll put him to bed. You’re still hurt, remember?” 

“It’s just my hand…”

“Yes, the hand that you would have had to carry Karol with.”

Flynn rolls his eyes as he begins to make his way towards the hallway, carrying Karol with ease, which Yuri couldn’t help but pout at. Karol was a growing boy and because of that, he was already pretty hard to carry for Yuri. Flynn, however, spent a lot of his free time training at the gym. Considering that Flynn was planning on pursuing the path of becoming a police officer once they graduated (much like his father), that was of no surprise to Yuri. 

(Flynn going to the gym came with the added bonus of Yuri getting to admire the change to the man’s body, particularly the muscles that began to slowly make their appearance as time went on. The cons of this is that if they ever got into a fight again, Yuri would be at a bit of a disadvantage.) 

Not so innocent thoughts aside, Yuri watched as Flynn carried Karol to his room with ease, leaving him momentarily alone with the white lilies and Repede, who had made himself at home and was curled up next to the couch to fall into yet another comfortable sleep. Yuri reached down to pet the small dog, smiling just a bit when he watched his legs twitch as if running in his sleep. 

He tries to ignore the white lilies that seem to be haunting him as he focuses on whatever Repede was dreaming about when he hears Flynn re-enter the room. As if on auto-pilot, Yuri climbs to his feet and starts collecting all of the set aside plates from their pizza feast. 

“Better get these dishes washed before bed…”

“For God’s sake, Yuri, can’t you please just relax for the night?” Flynn lets out a sharp sigh as he manages to grab at least one of the plates right from underneath Yuri’s reach. “It won’t kill you.”

Yuri just as quickly reaches over and pulls the plate from his grasp. “I don’t wanna hear a lecture on relaxing from a guy who’s idea of a fun time is studying for a potential pop quiz all weekend.” 

“ Once. That happened once. ” Flynn sighs quietly as Yuri begins his escape into the kitchen. Unfortunately, Flynn was not one to be deterred so easily. “Can I at least stay up with you?” 

“I’m not stopping you from doing anything, Flynn.” Yuri laughs as he piles the three plates into the sink and begins to run the water. 

“That’s up to debate.” Flynn grumbles quietly as he moves to lean against the counter as Yuri digs underneath the sink to find a glove to pull over his hands. He had to protect his injured hand as much as possible, after all, or else Flynn would find something else to whine about. 

They stand in silence for a while, Yuri making quick work of all of the dirty dishes (the plates they used and also the dishes Flynn used for his monstrosity he cooked earlier) and Flynn just watching him, intently. Yuri had half a mind to just ask him to say what he needed to say but he was also perfectly content with ignoring the weird tension in the room. 

Flynn, however, was not patient enough to let it go on. “Can you tell me what’s on your mind, Yuri?” His voice breaks the silence so suddenly that Yuri’s eyes glance up to meet Flynn’s before he can even think about it. 

Flynn’s got that same look on his face from before. Worry, concern, some soft feeling behind his face that made Yuri’s stomach do flips. There was no irritation, no frustration, at least not for now. There’s just a silent plea that floats in the air between them. Flynn continues to stare at him and Yuri stares back, pausing in his task of scrubbing the dishes as his mind races through what Flynn could possibly be talking about.

Can you tell me what’s on your mind? A lot. A lot was on his mind. Way too much and half of it was something that Yuri either couldn’t talk about or would rather push away and ignore, if he could. 

“What’s currently on my mind at the moment is how fascinated I am that Student Council President, Flynn Scifo, is currently hovering over my shoulders, silently micro-managing how I wash dishes in the Capel residence.” Yuri deflects with ease, shooting Flynn a teasing grin.

At least, he wished it was with as much ease as hoped. To be honest, Flynn had never fallen for his deflects before, so Yuri was not sure why he thought he would now. Instead of just taking the bait, Flynn stares at him with a face full of doubt before moving to lean closer. “Yuri, come on…”

“Well, it’s not my fault that you aren’t being specific.” Yuri’s grin remains, forcing it to stay, to try and keep their conversation light instead of dragging it down with whatever sore topic was waiting on the tip of Flynn’s tongue. 

“Well, where do I even begin with you?” Flynn’s fingers tap on the counter impatiently, weighing his options over what to bring up first. “I guess we’ll start with this one.” He moves around Yuri’s form so that he can stand to his left instead of his right and before Yuri can shove his hands back into the soapy water of the sink, Flynn is gently grabbing his wrist and pulling it closer. 

Yuri lets out a deep sigh as the glove is carefully peeled off of him and he stays silent as Flynn observes the hand with a frown. Flynn’s fingers brush gently against the bracelet and Yuri tries to ignore the quiet feeling of anxiety rising in him. The bracelet didn’t seem to react to anything as Flynn examined his hand closely, looking more at the bandaging rather than the bracelet. While his eyes do dart to the bracelet, it’s only for a second before Flynn looks back to Yuri.

“You didn’t go to the hospital, did you? Miss Estellise was supposed to take you…” There’s disappointment in Flynn’s tone when he speaks again, his eyes trailing back down to the bandaged hand.

“Nope.” Yuri’s answer was quick and simple as he tugged his hand away and pulled the glove back on. “Once we got to the apartments, I just let Estelle patch me up after I showered. Just like I told you, the wound was not as deep as it looked.”

“What?” Flynn’s head snaps back up to meet Yuri’s gaze, eyes wide in shock, though Yuri could not figure out what part was so shocking. “Miss Estellise was– She–?”

Flynn trailed off, seeming a bit flustered over something though Yuri wasn’t entirely sure what he could possibly be freaking out about. His grin quickly turns into an annoyed frown as he moves to continue his task of washing the dishes. “Flynn, seriously. My hand is fine. Estelle was perfectly capable of patching me up. She’s like a natural nurse or something. She’s got one of those… healing touches.” Literally. He turns back to look at Flynn as he tries to give some kind of comforting smile to the man. “I’m fine. I promise I’m fine, okay? I’m okay.” 

Yuri took a moment to study Flynn’s face, watching as a conflict of emotions took over. Worry and concern, his mouth tugging down into a frown as he let a hand reach out to gently hold Yuri’s hand. Unease and suspicion as he silently mouthed Yuri’s words ( “Healing touch…?” ) back to himself, as if committing them to memory. And then finally, defeat but acceptance as he gives one final glance to Yuri’s hand. 

“A-Alright…” He whispers, only to repeat it, voice more clear and confident. “Alright, Yuri. Alright… I trust you.”

Yuri smiles. It’s still teasing, but he makes sure Flynn knows he’s being genuine. “Probably not your best decision but… Thanks. I mean that.” He says, quickly reaching out to take Flynn’s hand again, giving it a firm squeeze of assurance before letting it go. 

“Yeah… Can you just…” Flynn pauses, turning back to lean against the counter again. “Can you just promise that you’ll go to the doctor in the future? If something really bad happens?”

Yuri can feel his mouth twitch, his smile threatening to fall as he quickly goes back to washing the dishes. He doesn’t answer and Flynn, sure enough, can’t accept that.

“You still hate the hospitals, don’t you?” 

“They’re hospitals , Flynn.” A scoff leaves Yuri’s lips before he can stop it. “Can you introduce me to someone who looks at a hospital and goes ‘Oh man, that place looks fuckin’ AWESOME.’? No, Flynn, hospitals are gray, quiet and depressing.”

A noise leaves Flynn that sounds akin to his usual tone of sniffing out any bullshit that Yuri put out. Yuri immediately copied the noise, in a higher pitch just to mock the man beside him. Was it mature? Absolutely not. Did it make him feel better? He’d be lying if he said it didn’t. He rinsed off the remaining dishes and began to put them in the dish rack to dry before moving to remove the gloves so he could toss them away. 

As he moved away from the sink, however, Flynn immediately reached out and grabbed Yuri’s waist with both of his hands and pushed him against the counter, effectively pinning him to the hard marble behind him. There is a brief moment where Yuri considers violence, a brief twitch of the hand as he nearly moves to shove Flynn off of him. Instead, he takes a deep breath and just stares at Flynn, his grin completely gone now. 

The silence settles between them, Flynn unable to push the words out and Yuri unwilling to continue the conversation if he didn’t have to. The only sound breaking the almost deafening silence was the soft ticking of the clock that hung against the entryway of the room. Flynn’s eyes dart from Yuri’s grey orbs before they trail off to the side, anxious and concerned and God, Yuri wished he would stop worrying so much over him, it wasn’t worth it–

“Yuri, you know you can talk to me, right?” The voice came out so tiny and tired. “You told me that before, that I could come talk to you if I needed to. You know the same goes for you, right?” 

Yuri’s eye twitches and suddenly it hurts to look at Flynn. He tears his gaze away, ignoring the sharp pain in his chest and the way that his breathing hitched, just slightly. Flynn definitely catches it as his grip on Yuri’s hips tighten before he’s leaning down to press his forehead against Yuri’s chest. Despite Estelle’s healing, his chest still stings, just a little and he can’t stop himself from flinching in pain but if Flynn notices, he doesn’t say anything. 

As they stood there, Yuri thinks back to the day he had told that to Flynn. It had been three days since Flynn’s mother, Amelia, had passed. Being just fifteen, Flynn had become despondent from his grief, surprising no one. He had just lost his father five years beforehand, the man having died suddenly while in the line of duty as a police officer, and now he had lost his mother to a sudden illness. So many people came and went, paying their respects to Flynn, and to some extent, Yuri. 

He remembered how Flynn held himself together, hiding his true feelings behind polite greetings and small ‘thank yous’ to every person who came to visit. As soon as the visitors would come and go, however, Yuri would watch as the young boy’s facade would just shatter as he would fall apart in front of him. He remembered how much he hated it, seeing Flynn in that state. 

He remembers making the offer to the broken teen, desperate to find some way to make him feel better. Surprisingly, Flynn accepted the offer. They stayed up pretty much the entire night just talking . Sharing stories of Flynn’s parents, memories just between them. He remembers making hot chocolate a few hours later, at three in the morning, just so they could stay up a little longer and talk some more. 

Yuri wasn’t sure but he hoped that in some way, it helped Flynn onto his path of recovery. He still wasn’t there yet, though, Yuri wasn’t stupid. But he was doing better. He was motivated again, always pushing forward, always on the move. It was admirable. But Flynn was always like that. Always multiple steps ahead of Yuri, always stronger, always wiser, always– 

Flynn shifts and pulls his head away from Yuri’s chest and, oh right, he should probably respond, right? But Yuri mulls over Flynn’s request, turning it over in his head and wondered if maybe he should talk to Flynn. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt. But even then, he had a hard time trying to voice the words. 

Instead, he’d move to something else that was, somehow, easier to talk about. “I really did like the lilies.” 

Flynn glances up to him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

Yuri gently put his hands on Flynn’s shoulders and pushed him back, giving him the tiniest of smiles. “You didn’t seem to like how I reacted to them earlier. You had that weird worried look on your face, like you have now.” He explains and watches Flynn’s face fall in curiosity as if self conscious over how his face looked currently. “But I really did like them. They’re nice. I was just surprised that you guys thought that lilies suited me.” 

“Huh…?”

Taking Flynn’s confusion to his advantage, he strolls past Flynn and wanders back into the living room, moving to flop down onto the couch with a quick sigh. He sees Repede climb to his feet and slowly make his way over to his legs only to flop back down once he was within touching range of Yuri. He snorts and pets the pup behind his ears before glancing back over to the lilies in question. 

He reaches out and plucks one from the vase, turning it over in his hand as he examines the petals quietly. 

“Hey, Yuri… do you think we could get away with filling my room with a million lilies?” A warm voice whispers into his ear, a wide smile evident in her voice. He could no longer remember how her smile looked before. Was she the type to wear lipstick? Did she go without? He couldn’t remember. Instead, all he could remember was the pale color of her skin instead.  ��A million flowers?” Yuri looks up to her, as he’s pulled close to her chest. The smell of her perfume, a scent he could no longer remember, was no longer there and instead, replaced with a clean but bitter scent of a room that was too tidy, too white, too quiet. He immediately begins to kick his shoes off onto the floor and curls up next to her, carefully avoiding tubes and wires as he does so. “I dunno if I can bring in a million flowers…”  “Ooh, whaaat?” A laugh so gentle and full of life fills the air. “But I’ll get so so soooo lonely without a million flowers to keep me company, Yuri!”  Yuri gives an indignant pout. “Ma, I’m not strong enough to… to hold a million flowers! And… I can’t count that high. How do I know if I got a million?”  He’s held so close, and he remembers how warm she felt despite how cold the room was. But even as he was pulled closer into her arms, even as he stared up at her face, knowing how he could hear the smile in her voice, despite seeing her picture thousands and thousands of times… her face was blank. No matter how hard he tried to remember, no matter how hard he tried to wrack his brain… “Hmm… Then I guess you can just bring me a normal amount. So long as my favorite lily comes to visit me every single day! Okay?” 

Flynn moves over to sit by him and Yuri could feel his eyes on him. “You think lilies don’t suit you?” He questions, repeating Yuri’s words back to him. 

Yuri snaps from his thoughts, glancing over to his friend with a small smile. “Yeah, I dunno. Feels like they’d fit someone else, you know?”

Flynn gives a small hum of thought as he reaches over and plucks another lily from the vase, looking it over thoughtfully. They both stay quiet, staring at their own respective flowers and lost in their own minds. 

“I think I’ll be the judge of that.” Flynn finally speaks up after a few minutes of silence. As he catches Yuri’s attention, he takes the flower and gently moves it towards Yuri’s face. As he gently pushes some of Yuri’s hair behind his ear, he tucks the flower gently in place, letting it rest on the side of Yuri’s face. “...Yes. There, see? The lilies suit you just fine.” 

Flynn’s smile is wide and almost blinding as his fingers brush against Yuri’s cheek before withdrawing entirely and Yuri is left wide eyed and slack jawed as he stares back at Flynn’s dopey grin. His cheeks heat up and suddenly the room felt hot and uncomfortable as he quickly decides that he’s better off looking anywhere else instead. 

“Flynn, y-you… can’t just say shit like that, man.” Yuri huffs out, only to grow more irritated when Flynn gives a tiny laugh in response. “I’m serious! Do you even know what you’re talking about?”

“I do. At least, in my head, I do.” 

Oh, this bastard thinks he’s so smart.

Yuri rolls his eyes and shoves his own flower into Flynn’s chest, who takes it with a delighted smile. “You’re too damn sappy, knock it off.” Yuri leans back into the couch after shoving the flower at Flynn, but he can’t stop himself from reaching up and gently touching the lily that was still tucked into his hair. 

Flynn, seemingly satisfied with the impromptu flower exchange, leans back into the couch as well, making sure to gently bump his shoulder into Yuri’s. Yuri lets his eyes dart over to Flynn, eyeing him up and down, remembering his words from earlier. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to open up to Flynn more. If anything, maybe just a little…

“You know…” Yuri speaks up, voice soft as he knocks his hand against the back of Flynn’s. “...I think I remember something about my mom.” 

Flynn bumps his hand back, glancing over to Yuri with surprise as he does so, knowing that his memory of his mother was sparse at best. “Oh… You do?”

“Yeah. I think she really liked lilies too. I know she liked white lilies, at least.” 

“Oh… That’s really pretty and just like her, from what I remember…” 

Yuri nods quietly, a small smirk appearing on his face. 

“Yeah. They weren’t her favorites though.” 

====

For those not in the know: Yuri's name means "Lily"! Pretty important fact going forward! And also decided to sprinkle a hint of symbolism with the white lilies and their meaning. Also I need to make a confession: Because Yuri has so much going on in his life, I literally had to create a calendar just so I can keep up with everything LMAOOO I'm so sorry that I've done this to you, Yuri.

[just-some-random-blogger]

well since you gave me such a meaty reply i have to bite it now

i 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000% agree with your point. i find that a lot of media (mostly mainstream) tend to portray women flat depictions of women, esp in dystopic settings, if theyre not timid and scared cos theyre a girl, theyre mean and 'bitchy' cos theyre in order to be percieved as strong, and in turn theyre acting like a man but a really gross one which is like??? dafaq if you wanted her to be a gross smelly man just make a fucking man???? and cos like ??????? have you ever met a real woman???????? hello? ??? look no further you wanna see a badass woman you can look at your mom/mother figure who DEMANDS respect while taking care of children/putting on makeup all that 'girly nonsense' but oh i forgot mothers dont count as women T_T

BUT THE POINT IS i too as a writer made it a point to create feminine characters that are strong willed and smart (like me <3 ugh love that im complimenting myself) nah cos on a real level, i see stories and im like ?????? GIRL? ????? ?? ?? ? THINKING IS FREE DAFAQ????? also i will smack a rat fucker if they try me ////////: come at me fucker, i refuse to take shit from anyone

but then this fuels another disparity, that woman can only be bearable if they are acting like men cos of that rugged/violent nature. saying that aloud, it also calls to attention why the manly man archetype is like this anyway WHICH IS WHY HE LOVE JOEL HE BE SCARY BUT HE CARES UGHHHHHHHHHH T_T

i couldnt find the video T_T but there's this channel on YT called 'The Take' and they do like analysis on pop troupes culture and they have this one video where they talk about in particular the director/creator of gal gadot's wonder woman; they kind of something along the lines of girls dont want to be girls, they want to be guys because of media portrayals, and so the solution is to make strong feminine characters that they can look up to.

OK THIS IS GETTING LONG BUT the point i wanted to make with that is that i felt the care you put in for creating yn as this sunshine girl. she was a whole lot of woman, she radiates femininity with how you described her in all the 'traditional' senses, and in the scenes where you kind of depicted her protecting ellie is i think a great way of showing yes shes a sunshine girl, but given the context of the world, she has adapted and learned to defend herself, aka she will break your neck push comes to shove-- which i think is a great way of putting it ya know. you can be a sunshine girl and know how to fight and you can be a tomboy that doesnt. your personality architype does not instantly translate to i can fuck you up/fire a gun so run

now circling back to another very real thing i agree on is the fact the patriarchy will still fucking persist after all that shit because unfortunately the fungus didnt get to kill the fuckers who are so deeply believe in that shit, in fact, they probably lived cos they were the one that started sacrificed other humans first 😍

anyway to sum it up i too have been trying to explore how i shape my female characters because ew i would rather die that man a woman written like a man 🤢 so thank you for putting in efforts to make a girl boss.

come and get your love || j.m.

chapter one of ain’t no sunshine

pairing || joel miller x f!sunshine!reader

summary || someone across the Tipsy Bison had their hand on you all night. how long will Joel Miller take to do something about it?

author's note || first part of the series! all of the chapters can be read as a stand alone, but they do go in order of a time line. hope you all enjoy &lt;3 4.1k words

warnings || jealousy, insecurities, angst, toxic people, possessiveness, fluff, 10 year age gap (joel is 51), SMUT, praise kink, oral sex (f rec), cunnilingus, fingering, squirting, [18+ only]

series masterlist || masterlist

Hail, with it, baby, 'cause you're fine And you're mine, and you look so divine

Joel’s eyes lingered on your form from across the bustling bar. It was in the middle of a Wyoming summer, so you wore a pretty light blue sundress. You could feel the cool breeze brush up against your thighs and the sun beating down on your skin just from the dusty windows. 

You came home one day, telling Joel and Ellie that you traded some old tactical pants for the frilly dress. Joel choked on his morning coffee when he caught a glimpse—Ellie just laughed and laughed. And now, you looked unbelievably perfect, all while you fluttered around the chairs and tables in the Tipsy Bison, talking with friends and newcomers. 

Although, his soft, love-sick eyes started to harden as they continued to follow you. 

The mere sight of someone flirting with you—a shoulder leaning on a support pole with sparkling eyes—was going to send his old bones into a coma. He was sure of it. Joel's chest started to burn from a sizzling rage that crept up to his cheeks. 

You were as friendly as you could be with a beer in your hand and a laugh escaping your lips. He knew you were oblivious to the flirting. You always have been. 

A couple of years ago, along the endless roads of traveling to get Ellie where she needed to go, Joel had been trying to get your attention for weeks, despite his damn self-sabotage that forced himself to avoid you in the previous months before. Ellie saw through it, though. Tommy saw it too. Hell, even Tess saw through it. The one person who had not seen just how much Joel was infatuated and hopelessly in love with you was, well, you. 

He thought that it was because he was rough and unrestrained. Joel was a jagged edge of a rock that cut deep into anyone that came near him. He thought you might not want to be with him and all of his baggage.

You were the exact polar opposite of him. You were a ray of sunshine—a burst of fresh air that knocked the breath out of his lungs. You could handle yourself out there in the depths of survival. He did not doubt that, but you were still warmhearted and sweet. You were what the rest of the world seemed to have forgotten.

Turns out, though, he couldn't have been more wrong. 

Your mind and body were washed over with every essence of Joel. When his hand was on your back to gently guide you through rugged terrain or when you instinctively grabbed onto his upper arm when a lone stranger bumped into your third-person party—your mind becomes blank.

The only thing, you said when you finally confessed, you could think about was Joel. Your body would freeze, and time would slow, your heart the only exception as it beats so rapidly you thought it might burst. So, in the end, Joel finds himself elated with pride and pure adoration that he was able to make you feel so free—so full of love.

“Are you gonna do something? Or are you just going to sit here and be ‘old-man’ sad?” 

Joel snapped out of his daze, turning his head toward Ellie. She had her eyebrow raised, with a hand on a freshly opened beer bottle. 

“Gimme that.” He muttered under his breath and swiped the bottle away from her. She let out a small, “Hey! You dick!” before huffing in frustration. “You ain’t even eighteen yet.” He slid the bottle over to Maria, who nodded back to Joel. “I’m almost eighteen!”

He huffed, ignoring Ellie’s comment. “And no. She’s got it handled.” 

You were probably the friendliest, kindest person that Ellie had ever met—especially in this shitty, fucked up world. Along the dusty gravel roads of travel, you would hold her hand and swing back and forth as Joel trailed not far behind. At night, you would shuffle your sleeping bag closer to hers, so you could laugh and giggle at her pun book until falling into a distant slumber. In the mornings, when you and Joel were keeping watch, and a lone stranger would interrupt your three-person party, you jumped in front of Ellie and pointed your shotgun at the intruder. You turned quickly, if not instantly, into a mother figure for her. 

So, Ellie knows that you have got it far from handled. She knows you are completely unsuspecting of the person that was practically throwing himself on top of you. 

“Yeah, you are so full of shit.”

Now, in your defense of the flirting, everyone in Jackson knew not to make a move on you. It has been established from the very beginning that you and Joel are made for each other. All you could ever see was each other. Always. 

So, at the end of things, when someone walked up to you with a bright smile and a gleam in their eyes that screamed “please fuck me,” you didn’t think anything of it. Your mind was no doubt in a Joel Miller trance—thoughts rolling over one another about the plains of his skin and the gruff feeling of his patchy beard on your fingertips. But when a newcomer comes along in the commune and gets introduced to everybody, that’s when they try to make their mark on you. 

“She’s fine—”

“You sure, Joel?” His eyes flickered back towards you and saw the newcomer squeeze your forearm. You think nothing of it and crack another joke at who you thought was a new friend, causing them to throw their head back in very exaggerated laughter. 

And now, Joel wasn’t sure at all—not with the bubbled-up feeling that wrapped around his chest and sunk down into his stomach. He grunted out in response to Ellie, who rolled her eyes at his demeanor. Yeah, he was far from sure. 

“Go say something, Grandpa—”

He raised his eyebrow, “hey—”

“Ellie’s right, you know.” Joel’s head whipped around at Tommy’s voice. “She doesn’t even know the guy’s flirting. She’s too trustin’ of people.” 

He gave his older brother a little smile—an all too knowing teasing smile. Joel didn’t say anything, just downing the rest of his whiskey. The ice clunked against the glass, and the two next to him just watched with anticipation. 

“Your brooding is scaring the customers away. Go say somethin’, Joel.”

He ponders for just a moment—mind circling around all of the different thoughts in his brain. He knows you are just fine. He knows you wouldn’t ever do anything of the sort.

If you actually knew that the man was flirting with you, you would stop it immediately. You’re just kind. You just wanted to make friends. He wanted you to make friends in this little town you had learned to love.

Before Joel even knows it, though, he's getting up from the stool. His own heart had taken over his body and ran home with it. He could just barely hear Ellie cheer for the old man to do something. 

His boots were heavy as he walked across the bar, his wrinkled eyes hardening with every step. His heart squeezed at the pure sight of you—a smile almost turning his frown up. That is until the squeezing of his other thoughts from the man right in front of you suffocated his chest. 

“Joel!” 

God, you sounded so sweet. Your eyes lit up so bright he thought he might be blinded. Whatever you were talking about with your new friend, it completely went out the window when you heard the stomps of his boots. 

“Hi, darlin’.” 

His hand ghosted the small of your back, and it almost caused you to shiver. You looked up at him with a pretty smile, opening your mouth to let him in on the conversation. “We were just talking about patrols. I was saying how we saw that bear with the three cubs the other day! and—”

“Can we help you?” The man, you knew as Brad, scowled right up at Joel for interrupting the conversation the two of you were having earlier. Oh, Joel did not like Brad. The scrunch of his nose as he tried to challenge Joel—as if you were a possession—was kicking up a deep rage in his chest. 

Joel opened his mouth to respond but was met with a very enthusiastic smile from you. You looked so excited. “This is Joel! He’s my—”

Brad rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s great. Could he leave now?”

Joel’s back stretched at the complete disrespect. He could handle people being mean to him just fine. When it comes to you, however, he wouldn’t tolerate anything of the sort. You were the thread that kept Ellie and Joel sane with your homemade gifts and fluttering smile. No one was going to ruin that on his watch. 

Joel watched as your bright, smiling face fell.

“Oh.” 

You felt your heart deflate from being interrupted again. It took a lot for someone to build you down, and Brad had managed to do it in no time. You thought you had made a new friend to hang out with. You thought you were finally getting along with someone in Jackson. 

Watching your face fall made something click in Joel’s head. His burning glare never left Brad’s face as he continued to run his mouth about Joel ‘needing to leave’ or something like that. This is why he hated newcomers. They think they could take advantage of your kind gestures and bring you down with them. 

Brad looked at you and then Joel—as if something finally fits in his head. He clicked his tongue, “I have been trying to get you home all night. Don’t tell me you were with him the whole time?”

“What?”

You looked bewildered at the insinuation of ever getting with Brad—let alone anyone that isn’t Joel. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

If Joel wasn’t preoccupied with watching Bradley’s every move, he would’ve snorted at your change in demeanor. You could be the biggest angel there is, but there is no doubt a fire lit right inside of you.

“I have been here with you all fucking night. You think I’d waste my time talking about shitty flowers with you?” His lips curled into a sniveling smirk.

Your hand clenched by your side but was caught as Brad’s hand went to tighten itself around your wrist. You tried to wriggle your way out of his grip, but it felt too firm. “Why don’t you ditch the old man and come with me, sunshine.”

Joel saw the hand on your wrist—the bruising grip he had on you. He saw the sickly, lust-filled eyes that the man was giving you. He knew you could handle yourself. You could throw this random man over your shoulder like he was nothing. 

But something struck him even deeper.

Sunshine.

That was what Joel called you in the secret comfort of whispered feelings. It was what Joel called you when you were badly injured, and he needed to disinfect the wound. The first time it popped into his head was when you were dancing around with Ellie underneath the morning sun. The cute nickname just stuck, and it was his.

Only his. 

Joel snapped in an instant. The long years of survival worked quickly in his brain. He bunched up Brad’s collar and shoved him hard against the wooden pole—jolting his hand from your wrist. “Get your fucking hands off of her.”

You gasped at the lightning speed of Joel’s hand on Brad’s chest, but you weren’t too phased. Adrenaline shot through your chest and spread down to your toes—eyes locking on Joel’s crinkled brows and hard-set glare. 

“Yeah? The fuck you gonna do?” Brad spat.

The bar went silent at the altercation, eyes darting to watch the scene play out. You didn’t pay any attention, though. Your eyes were on Joel. Just Joel.

Brad squirms a bit underneath Joel’s stare, but he seems to be trying to remain tough. Joel’s grip never wavered and almost shoved him further into the pole. 

“If you ever touch her again, I’ll break your fuckin’ arms.” His accent slurred together with each click of his tongue. 

You could feel the fire pulsating through his lips; you could feel it radiate off of his clenched fist. Joel squeezed even tighter against his neck, almost suffocating some of the air in Brad’s throat. He then let out a wheeze, eyes widening at just how serious Joel Miller can be. 

“You got it?” Brad’s eyes squinted at Joel before looking into the crowd around him. Terrified of all the stares and the overwhelming frown on people’s faces—and quite frankly, Joel—Brad finally backs off. 

“Got it.” He said under his breath with a slight cough. Joel very slowly let go of his collar in caution of the man. Brad just nodded, now refusing to make eye contact with the two of you, before sauntering off out of the bar.

Not far behind, Tommy and Maria were alert and watched Brad’s every movement. They had both of your backs as soon as they saw Joel shove him into the pole. Even Ellie was on high alert, which almost caused her to grab the knife in her pocket. 

Joel turned to you in an instant. His eyes glossed over your entire form, grasping every single detail to make sure you were okay. His eyes stopped at the slight tear in your favorite dress. He pursed his lips in annoyance, but then his eyes locked onto your wrist. 

“C’mon. I need to see your wrist.”

═ ∘◦❦◦∘ ═

He took you into the back where the aging room was—old barrels full of whiskey and rum stacked high along the walls. He sat you down on a wooden table and went to go find some supplies. 

You sat there, feeling like you were in trouble. Joel hadn’t said a word, and your mind was starting to race at the possibilities of what he was thinking. While it wasn’t abnormal for Joel to act like this, you knew something wasn’t right.

You could see it in his calculating eyes and furrowed eyebrows—the harsh smile lines on his cheeks almost seemed deeper. You could see it in the way that his hand trembled when he moved some papers to the other end of the table.

You felt stupid for not seeing that Brad was flirting with you. God, you felt so dumb. You really thought that you were making a new friend. You felt even dumber that you couldn’t see the hostility in his eyes, either.

What was Joel thinking? Did he hate you? You knew you mistake people’s flirty gestures for friendly acts way too often.

Did it hurt him? Tears started to form on your lash line, and that sunken feeling in your chest only deepened. 

Joel finally came back with a pack of ice and a little box of first aid. He wrapped a rag around the ice so it wouldn’t burn your skin. 

“Here.” He gently placed it onto your skin, and you went to hold it down. You feel your eyebrow twitch in a cringe at the already bruised surface. You hear Joel digging through the kit in haste—no doubt trying to find some kind of ointment.

You closed your eyes. Your chest was heaving up and down at the thought that Joel had to sit here and take care of you, all while you fucked everything up. 

“I’m sorry.”

Joel’s rummaging through the first aid abruptly stopped. He turned to you with confused furrowed brows, but then his eyes widened. He saw your glossy eyes as you tried to avoid his stare. He saw the way your lip slightly wobbled while you tried to hide your emotions.

“It’s all my fault.” 

You said barely under a whisper, but you were on the side of his good ear. He heard you, and damn, his heart couldn’t have been more crushed. You didn’t do a single thing wrong, and yet you blamed yourself.

“It ain’t your fault. None of it was your fault.” He could tell, though, by the look in your eye that you weren’t convinced. He goes to open his mouth, but you beat him to the punch.

“But I should have known!” You flexed out your hand to emphasize the situation. “I should have said something or got the fucking hint!”

You let out a fast breath, eyes darting across the wood floor. His eyes flickered to the ice pack you set back on the table. “I should—I shouldn’t have been so nice! Maybe I could be less—”

Joel snapped back at the realization of what you were going to say. “Don’t you dare.” His hand instinctively lays on top of your thigh. “Don’t you ever change for people like him.”

“But I–” His hand rested so soft on your cheek, and whatever you were going to say died on your tongue. He was inches away from you now, your chests almost touching together. 

“I know my words are shit, but you are everything, darlin’. You are the kindest and brightest person that I’ve ever known.” He finally rested his forehead against yours. “Don’t you even change for me, darlin’.”

You nodded against his forehead with a small smile on your face. You knew he was right. Of course, he was right. Brad was the shithole, not you. 

He leaned in to brush his lips against yours—feverish and light as you felt the scruff of his beard against your cheeks. He licks into your mouth, and you find yourself pulling him in closer from his flannel collar. 

His tongue swirled through your mouth from desperation starting to lock inside his chest. You have made him feel all kinds of things over the years, but pure love was something he still couldn’t get used to. He needed to feel you—needed to touch you. After the searing memory of Brad’s hand on your wrist, he needed to be inside of you.

“Sweet girl,” he almost purred into your mouth, “need you.” 

You nodded into his lips. A whine escaping them seemed to be the only thing that your brain could come up with. In a mere matter of seconds, Joel was able to turn you into a puddle. 

“Need to hear it, darlin’.”

You don’t miss a beat. “Need you, Joel. Please—”

He bunches up the silky dress, and his eyes shine bright as he sees your pretty laced panties. They were dark—a black onyx—that made Joel want to drool. They rested so well on your hips—so tight. He knew there was a wet patch near your core, too.

His nimble fingers shoved your panties aside to dig—just a little—into your dripping folds. He groaned, rough and bold against the plains of your ear. “J-Joel—”

You knew by the slow, agonizing pace that his hands seemed to feel you in, Joel was going to fuck you stupid. He always got slow and steady when he knew he was going to take his sweet, sweet time. 

“Oh! Oh fuck,” the pads of his fingers move to the nub of your clit. They swirled in small circles, and your hands gripped his shoulders so tightly. Your jaw hangs slack as you feel the pleasure blossom through your stomach to your chest.

“That’s it. Yeah. Does that feel good, pretty girl?”

He was smirking, just a little. You could tell by the sound of his voice, but you see the way his lips slightly curled when your eyes flickered up to his.

“Feels so good, Joel—so—so good.” His other hand spread your legs a little wider for him, relishing in the soft pillows of your skin and curves. He gave your thigh a small squeeze before sinking onto his knees.

Your eyes were about to pop out of your head. “Joel—” You warned, honestly concerned about his knees, but the thought quickly left when his other hand shuffled your underwear down to your ankles. He dragged your hips forward so that your ass was hanging just barely off of the wobbly table. 

“Fuck. Look at you drippin’ for me.”

His eyes shined underneath the yellow-hazed lights. His head goes to dip into your folds, and he moans—sending a rough vibration to your folds. You tasted just the same—earthy and sour and so so sweet.

His hand dug into your thigh—the pad of his thumb was pressing deep into your skin. His tongue flicked and swirled to gather up that slick that dripped from your folds. He felt addicted to you—you tasted, felt, looked, and sounded so ethereal. 

“Oh, Joel—” He could have you on his tongue for the rest of his fucking life. The way you call out his name—hands desperately grabbing at his salt and peppered hair and whimpers leaving your lips. “F-Fuck, I–”

Your brain became even mushier with each flick and whirl of his tongue around your folds. “Can’t get enough of this pussy.” He gruffed.

His mouth moved to your swollen clit, and your hips involuntarily jumped—slightly closing around his head. He pried your thighs open with his rough, used hands before shoving them over his shoulders. 

You didn’t have time to react, though. Not when he was moving a finger to tease your folds. “Joel! Oh my god—” You could only whimper and shout his name. You moan, you gasp, and you whimpered even more. 

It’s all you could think about. Joel Joel Joel. He was all you ever seem to think about. 

His finger slid easily into your sopping cunt, and you moaned into the air. His tongue lapped and sucked against your swollen nub—finger simultaneously curling into you.

“Oh, Joel, I-I can’t—”

His mouth left you, only for a moment, but a whine escaped your lips.

“Gonna cum already, darlin’? Hmm?” He inserted another finger without warning, giving that even longer stretch of your walls. 

You gasped, nonsense mumbling from your tongue. He was sure you said his name in there somewhere. He felt his cock twitch at the sparkle in your eyes and the essence of ecstasy that stretched across your glistening, sweaty skin. His long, thick fingers fucked into over and over—tongue swirling across your pretty little clit.

“C’mon, cum for me. That’s it. You’re such a good girl—my good girl.” You hiccuped, head slung back as your walls continued to clench around his fingers. “You can do it, hmm? Cum on my mouth, sunshine.”

You gasped loudly—body short-circuiting and spasming as the orgasm washed over your entire body. Joel’s name was like a mantra stuck on your tongue. Your body felt white-hot and sticky as your juices flushed against Joel’s chin and your inner thighs. 

Sunshine. Sunshine. You heard that over and over again. He watched with those thick eyes as you came undone. And wow, you looked so pretty. Your gasps and moans, your body shuddering from the shattering pleasure that spreads up and down your body. He wants to remember moments like this instead of the dark ones. 

As you came down from your high, you looked down at Joel. Your strong legs pulled him in a bit closer, and you leaned down to press a kiss to his nose. He just looked up at you—no doubt he had the biggest heart eyes on you that anyone had ever seen. 

You started to laugh from the enormous high—cum running down your legs and the fact that not even fifteen minutes ago, you were hassled by another man. The whole situation seemed funny to you now. 

Joel cracked his own smile, just for you. He caressed your cheek and rubbed his thumb back and forth. “Let’s go home, sunshine.” 

You weren’t even sure he caught himself the second time when he called you that. It just flowed off of his tongue so easily.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you couldn’t help but smile as wide as you could. You knew what that meant—what he was insinuating. A fire lit inside of your chest. Damn, you could never get used to the way Joel would make you feel.

He grumbled under his breath. “Shut up. I got it.”

Yeah, he definitely didn’t. He needed your help not two seconds later, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You were Joel’s. Joel was yours.