#mom had to tell me to calm down

[naomiknight-17]

*SCREAMING INCOHERENTLY*

[ganondoodle]

so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)

[hamletthedane]

For the record: I do not hold a secret position in Kensington Palace.

However, my former neighbor’s boyfriend is the scandalously gay grandson of Earl So-and-So (living in sin with the son of a Texas Democrat - the horror), and he liked my cancer theory so much he told all his fancy Oxford friends about it before the news broke, and they apparently got several very stern call from their fancy peered parents about where did you hear that and stop gossiping, it’ll get out.

So while I’m not a palace papers source, I did get Earl Black Sheep Jr. calling me at 6am this morning excitedly confirming that I was right about the third cousin once removed of his childhood friend having cancer 💀

[mossy-rot]

reading about autistic meltdowns is crazy. in retrospect maybe that time i ended up sobbing self isolating and lashing out at people because I couldn't figure out how to set up my laptop the same way it had been before might've been because of The Autism

[widevibratobitch]

(not quite logging back in just venting dont mind me <3 ill reply to everyone later mwah)

[slutdge]

I dont really think ive processed just how badly my dads behavior has effected me this year its really the worst it has ever been and i think im avoiding thinking too hard about it cause i know im a danger to myself if i do lol

[redpiperfox]

But mainly, and really:

[neck-thats-made-for-bruising]

Whenever this gets brought up my mom always says "aw I know how you feel I have body dysmorphia too :(" bro I don't have body dysmorphia I know I'm skinny and most of the time I like how I look that's not even the problem so literally just stop brining it up constantly

[galwaygremlin]

so adult er/trauma doctors are ALL bad with kids, that wasn't just my dad???

[balkanballad]

no one hypes me up like women over 40

[deadtower]

me after spending the past 12 hours or so in a blinding panic of anxiety like. hm. things are really gonna be okay, huh

[rivercityrabbitsbro]

God there's a short list of things that immediately fill me with frustration-induced-rage, and one of them is how I put a lot of thought into what I'm doing almost always, and the willingness of people to immediately assume I'm just dumb/careless/inexperienced.

For example, I will often phrase an email or request in a specific way as to show that someone's request was lazy and pushing the work off on to me, and a 3rd person often comes in and goes "You know we can just [do the work that that person was trying to push on to me]" like I don't know that.

An account manager sent an email with a client name as a subject line and "We're marketing this and being asked for details on all claims over $10k" Which lines of coverage? (there's like 10) Over how many years? (we've had them for 20 years) What kind of details? (the description or how the claims played out?) Do you have a list of those claims? When do you need it by? All things I asked, in more words, copying others in the dept bc they'd be involved.

My exec responds: We could just pull up the most recent loss reports in the file and check them

Yeah I know! I literally was doing exactly that as I was drafting my email because I like to give myself ammo when I'm making a point. I am obviously not going to wait for the response bc that hinges my work on when someone else gets me something. I could also check her files to see who specifically is asking to see what specific lines of coverage they're asking about. I could never speak to this person and still find a way to get every piece of information I'd need!

But the point of my email was not "I don't know what to do", the point of my email was "You are asking me do you a favor (implicitly on a short timeline), but you can't even do me the decency of providing the information I need to do so, therefore lengthening how much time I have to spend on this favor for you"

Like, the sales side of the company does this to us CONSTANTLY, and my dept just throws up their hands and goes "it's no use fighting it they're gonna make us do it anyway" and it's like.......haven't we been trying to prove how busy we are because quantity of claims doesn't begin to show our workload? Wouldn't correspondence showing how much work is being offloaded onto us by lazy managers go toward proving that? Like yes we might end up doing the work anyway, but the exchange is important.

And not just for paper trail reasons! It's helpful for in-person communication too! Because when someone comes complaining that something's not done yet, it's not just me listing off excuses and "I haven't had time" in a vacuum, it's me going "Well you didn't say it was an urgent request and you didn't actually provide me the list of things you need updates on, so I haven't gotten to it yet because I need an hour to set aside to compile the initial list". Whether or not I sent back questions on this SPECIFIC request, a history of me going "Sure I can do that, [itemized list of questions that are almost always the same]" on requests in the past is something I can defend myself with when allegations come in that I'm not doing my job.

And wouldn't you know it! An allegation was made recently that I wasn't doing my job, and this helped me defend myself.

Oh boy oh man it's almost like I'm not paranoid or "looking for problems", I'm just trying to lay the groundwork to defend myself and maybe even improve things down the line. What a concept!!!

[yoohyeon]

You know when you don’t want to go to sleep cause you know tomorrow your day is going to be shit 😭

[im-probably-playing-genshin]

im in fucking music class and im sick as hell and im dysphoric and im tired and these fucking kids are just banging on drums and shit and theyre being so loud and i have a headache now and i feel like shit and now the teacher is playing fucking imagine dragons im going to strangle myself

[sirenium]

trigger warning: child abuse

locking a child in their room during an episode, whether that be a meltdown or a 'tantrum', is not good, don't do it. It leaves the kid with zero proper coping skills and the inevitable rage during their teen years will not be fun for either of you.

[malachitezmeyka]

If there's anything this night has shown it's that I'm scarily good at silent crying