#and also drag me away from the merch table

[naomiknight-17]

*SCREAMING INCOHERENTLY*

[puckinghischier]

Crowded

Luke Hughes x fem!reader

summary: reader gets nervous in the crowd, but luke is right there to help her out of it

notes: i’m once again throwing a luke fic out into the world. i saw this request in my inbox and immediately thought of the zach bryan concert the boys just went to. i would literally give anything to attend a concert with them. i just KNOW they’re great concert buddies. sorry it’s kinda short, i just didn’t know how to drag it out any longer. i hope you enjoy!! happy reading!! 🫶🏼

request: from my 400 follower celly - Character A can tell Character B is getting nervous in a big crowd, so A slips their hand into theirs to help them calm down.

[2.8k]

You had been looking forward to tonight for months. From the second Luke surprised you with the tickets for your birthday, you immediately started planning an outfit, making a playlist, and anticipating the trip.

When he told you his brothers and a few friends were tagging along, it only made you more excited, enjoying every moment you got to spend with your boyfriend’s brothers and their hockey friends.

After the concert, everyone was driving over to stay at the lake house for a few weeks, enjoying as much of the summer together as they can before pre-season training starts. You couldn’t wait to have a few weeks of fun on the water, but also wanted tonight to last as long as it could.

Your excitement grew even more when you found the perfect outfit for the occasion, even buying a matching light-up cowboy hat off of Etsy. You were especially excited for the chance to wear your boots again, not having many excuses to wear them in Jersey.

Luke had his hand planted firmly on the small of your back, making sure not to lose you as you weave through the crowd. You had bought Luke a new shirt for tonight, the orange t-shirt matching the burnt orange color of your dress.

He leads you over to the crowded merchandise stand, telling you to pick whatever you wanted. You struggled, loving every item tacked onto the display board. When you told him you couldn’t decided between a t-shirt and a hoodie, he bought you both before you could even open your mouth to protest, buying himself a hat and t-shirt as well.

“Luke, you just spent over $300 without even batting an eye,” you barked at him, crossing your arms to try and look menacing.

You know Luke could’ve afforded to buy you the entire stand and still not make a dent in his bank account, but you don’t like when he spends large amounts on you for no reason.

“Yeah, so?” he shrugs, taking your elbow and leading you away from the cloth covered table, slinging the clear bag of merchandise over his shoulder.

You roll your eyes and huff at him, unfolding your arms and taking his hand, letting him lead you through the sea of bodies.

“’So?’”, you mimicked his response. “You didn’t have to buy half of the merch stand just because it took me more than three seconds to choose which shirt I wanted.”

He glances back at you over his shoulder. “The fact that you didn’t have your mind made up the second you saw the options means you clearly wanted both, so I bought you both.”

You reach over and pinch his side, mildly annoyed with how well he understands the way your brain works.

“Quit pinching me you little gremlin,” Luke hisses out, the nickname being one he uses when you’re being stubborn or annoying.

“Quit spending all of your money on me, you giraffe-man,” you fire back.

You can see his shoulder’s shake, your impromptu nickname for him amusing him.

He doesn’t respond right away, the two of you having made it to the entrance to your seats, walking up to the worker standing under the numbered sign.

The usher instructs you to show your tickets to one of the workers at the bottom of the set of stairs.

When you walk into the arena, you notice how large the space feels, the open floor and mostly empty seats creating the illusion of size.

Luke has to nudge you a bit, reminding you to keep walking, too in awe of the fact you’re actually here.

“Not so unhappy with me spending my money on you now, huh?” he leans down to whisper into your ear, making sure you can hear him over the roaring chatter.

You hit him lightly in the chest, a smirk on his face as the two of you walk down, showing your tickets to the usher once you reach the bottom of the stairs, a bright colored wristband with bold letters spelling out VIP FLOOR printed on each one.

You make your way over to a small, sectioned off area near the main stage, seeing the rest of your group already waiting for the two of you.

Jack is the first one to notice you approaching, his eyes lighting up and arms being slung into the air.

“It’s about time! We were starting to worry the two of you got lost!” he calls out, causing the rest of the group to turn their heads and call out greetings.

You smile, having missed those in the group that didn’t live in New Jersey.

Walking over to Quinn first, you give him a long hug, the last time you saw him being when he played his brothers in Jersey months ago. The frequent facetime calls the two of you share not being enough to scratch your Quinn itch.

“Quinnifer! I missed you!” you squeal as you squeeze him as tight as you can.

You can feel his chuckle as he squeezes you back. “I missed you too, Munchkin” he leans back, ruffling your hair.

Although you see Jack nearly every day back home in Jersey, Quinn is the brother you’re closest to. You and Jack are literally two peas in a pod, but there’s something about Quinn that made you feel comfortable with him from the moment Luke introduced the two of you.

He’s like the big brother you never had, always calling him when you need advice or need to complain to someone about Luke.

Anytime you have a particularly nasty argument with Luke, Quinn is the one you call. He always allows you say whatever you need to get out of your system before breaking the problem down and agreeing that his brother is an idiot, but that he also loves you with everything he has in him.

At first you tried to go to Jack with problems surrounding your relationship with Luke, but he clearly didn’t know how to help you. He either told Luke about your conversations, causing the argument to grow worse because Luke claimed Jack had no business knowing about what’s happening in your relationship, or he would shrug his shoulders and say “just don’t yell at him when I’m trying to sleep. I need my beauty rest.”

You swat Quinn’s hand away, trying to smooth down your now tousled hair.

“I see you dressed the goon, tonight,” he points out Luke’s orange shirt.

You turn your head to see him talking with Cole.

“Believe it or not, it was his idea,” you think back to after you bought your dress, trying it on for Luke once you came home from shopping with your girls. He loved the way you looked in it, his eyes widening the second you emerged from your walk-in closet.

He swallowed thickly, his gravelly voice choking out a “Did they happen to have a matching shirt? Because if you’re wearing that, I’m going to need something to match so everyone knows you’re there with me, not up for grabs.”

You blush at the memory, looking back over to Quinn.

“I always knew he was whipped, but damn you’ve got him down bad, huh?” he shakes his head, smiling in amusement.

“Wrapped around my little finger,” you hold up your pinky, wiggling it at Quinn with a giggle.

You feel a pair of arms snake their way around your waist, a heavy object resting itself on top of your head.

“What’s wrapped around your little finger?” Luke asks, his chin bumping against your scalp as he talks.

“You, duh,” you reply, moving your head forward and craning your neck to look up at him.

He looks between you and his older brother before uttering out a “Oh one hundred percent. Couldn’t unravel myself if I even wanted to,” he lets go of you, stepping up to stand beside you.

Quinn just laughs, bringing Luke in for a hug.

After you make your way around to greet everyone, the lights are dimming and the atmosphere inside of the arena changes.

You love the hum of excitement in the air, finding Luke and standing in front of him. You hear the first notes of Overtime as Zach Bryan comes onto the stage, screaming as loud as you possibly can.

Luke has a content, amused smile on his face as you scream out the lyrics, jumping and dancing around as the beat allows.

As the concert goes on, you make the switch from dancing with Luke to dancing with Jack, attempt to get on Quinn’s shoulders to get Zach’s attention, and slinging your arm over Cole’s shoulder to sway back and forth with him during one of the slower songs.

When it comes time for Zach to sing Revival, your favorite song of his, you beg Luke to leave your secluded area to get closer to the stage, wanting to experience being in the crowd for this one particular song.

He looks at you apprehensively, eyeing the large sea of people on top of one another, barely any room between the bodies pressed together. He worries about losing you in the crowd, your small frame allowing you to get swept away easily.

You tug on his arm like a little kid, repeating “please, please, please,” over and over again, assuring him you’ll be fine.

Luke eventually gives in, letting his brothers know where you two are going, claiming you’ll meet back up with them after the concert.

Grabbing your hand, Luke leads you off of the small platform and into the crowd, pushing his way as far up to the front as his large body will allow him.

You stop just a row or two of people away from the stage where Zach had just climbed onto, adjusting his guitar and microphone before starting the song.

As the song rang out around you, you sang along to every word, joining the rowdy crowd as the chorus starts.

You start to jump around in the small space you have, enjoying every second, until Zach walks his way over to the small portion of stage in front of where you stand.

As soon as his figure stands over the crowd around you, bodies start pushing against one another, everyone trying to get as close to him as they can. You feel yourself being shifted towards the metal barricade, not being able to fight against the rush of people.

You start panicking, whipping your head from side to side to find Luke. All you can see around you are strangers, not being able to move your body to look behind you. You have absolutely no control over your own body anymore, being stuck in-between a girl slightly taller than you and a man that has at least a hundred pounds on you.

Squeaking out a “excuse me,” and “can you let me out please?” you try to make your exit from the suffocating situation. Your eyes turn frantic when you realize that no one can hear you or cares to hear you. Your breath picks up, heart pounding in your chest.

You can feel the tears pricking in your eyes, not being able to regulate your breathing anymore, gasping hot air into your lungs as fast as you can.

You’re about to let out a scream, begging someone to pay attention to you and let you out of the mess you’re in, when you feel a familiar hand slip its way into yours.

Whipping your head around, you catch a glimpse of curly hair behind you, not realizing that the body pressed against your back has been Luke this entire time. You figured you had lost him when you were surged forward, unable to see him anywhere around you.

Your breath starts to slow slightly, knowing you’re not alone in this crowd easing some of your nerves. The feeling of your heart pounding is still present, not wanting to be in this situation one second longer.

Luke attempts to tug your body back towards him, but the impenetrable wall of people around you prevents him from doing so.

You manage to wiggle your way in a circle somehow, now facing Luke.

He takes one look at your frightened face and knows he has to get you out of here, now.

Pulling you towards him, he cages you in with is arms, your cheek pressed to his chest. He starts walking backwards, his hockey roots coming in handy as he all but body checks people out of his way. The two of you finally make it to the back of the large crowd, Luke not letting go of you until you were back over in your original section.

Quinn was watching the whole thing from the small platform he was stood on, about to walk over and fish you out himself before he noticed Luke’s head slowly moving backwards, away from the stage.

He can see you’re still shaken, walking over to meet the two of you at the top of the ramp.

“Is she okay? Is she hurt?” Quinn asks, concerned about how frightened even Luke’s face looks right now.

“No, she’s fine. Just shaken up, I think. She got trapped between a random girl and some dude at least triple her size,” he tells Quinn, running his hand down your hair in soothing motions. Your hands were still clutching his t-shirt, not wanting to let go of him just yet.

Quinn stares at your trembling figure the whole time, knowing you don’t want to leave Luke’s embrace but wishing he could do something to help you.

“Let’s get her out of here and to the car, yeah?” Quinn suggests, picking up yours and Luke’s bag of merchandise off of the floor of the platform.

Luke just nods, leading you back down the ramp.

Quinn steps over and let’s everyone know to just meet them in the parking garage before following yours and Luke’s intertwined bodies towards the nearest exist.

Luke manages to get you up the stairs and out into the outer ring of the arena without letting you go. Both pairs of your feet moving in tandem, not once risking tripping over one another.

He leads you out of the doors and into the cool night air.

You finally allow yourself to leave his embrace, instantly feeling better in the openness of the outdoors. Never letting go of his hand, you continue to let him lead you to the large garage.

Luke’s BMW sits right where he parked it, the loud beep echoing in the dark garage as he unlocks it.

He opens the passenger door, lifting you slightly to sit you down on the leather seat. His hands come up to your cheeks, his thumbs wiping the stray hairs that were sticking to the damp skin under your eyes.

“All good now?” he asks you, the frantic look of your eyes now gone.

You nod, looking into his concerned eyes. “M’alright. Just got scared. Too many people,” you mumble out, leaning into Luke’s palm slightly. “Sorry I made us go out there. Just wanted to have fun.”

Luke leans his forehead against yours, shaking it back and forth slightly. “No, it’s not your fault. Just bad timing is all,” he assures you, knowing how upset you’re going to be when you realized you missed most of the last song.

He pulls his head back, standing back to his full height outside of the SUV.

You notice Quinn standing a few feet away, letting you and Luke have your space.

Frowning, you call out to the eldest Hughes. “You didn’t have to leave early too, Quinny.”

Quinn looks over when he hears you address him, walking closer to the vehicle.

“Ehh, show was almost over anyways,” he waves you off. “Had to make sure my favorite little munchkin was okay,” he shrugs, telling you its no big deal.

You smile at him, thankful you not only have your boyfriend to look out for you, but Quinn as well.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you. Both of you,” you look between the two brothers, only ever seeing how alike they look when they’re standing in front of you.

They both tell you it’s not necessary, the main priority being that you’re safe and sound outside of the arena.

“Fine, I guess that means neither of you want to stop for post-concert pancakes on the way to the lake, then?” you tease, watching both of their heads snap up. All three brothers’ secret love of sweets is something you use to your advantage, only ever having to mention how good ice creams sounds before Luke and Jack are ushering you out of the door and driving you to the nearest ice-cream shop.

“Well, I guess if you really just feel the need to do something nice for us…” Quinn trails off, making a smile break out on your face, unable to hide the laugh at the sudden switch up.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” you continue to laugh at the pair, Luke leaning in to buckle your seatbelt for you as Quinn climbs in the backseat, sending a quick text to the rest of your group, telling them if they want to join in on the pancake outing, they need to be making their way out of the arena, and fast.

[kekaki-cupcakes]

Hey !

Hope ure doing good

I like AU and I wondered if u could please do a leo valdez x reader fic

Like...They live in the same apartment at the same floor and they see each other frequently in the corridors, and with the time they create an affinity

I have emerged from my cave. hello world. <3.

Leo Valdez x Reader--- Mortal/Apartment AU

»»————-　★　————-««

“...Hi?” You said, hitching your tote bag, the Kiki’s delivery service-patterned one, back onto your shoulder. It always fell down when you were walking down the front steps, past the skinny stray cat who slept underneath the mailboxes. Everyone in the building had named her Stick Insect. 

It was in a loving way. You hoped. 

Leo made an odd wheezing sound that sounded a lot like a beached whale taking its last breath as he dragged one of those old-fashioned red waggons behind him. He wiped his hands on his green army jacket, the one with all the jangly badges you could hear coming from a mile off. 

Your favourite was the Minecraft TNT one, underneath the trans flag pin, and one that just simply said ‘BBS’. You didn’t quite know what that meant. 

He grinned at you brightly, despite his shaky arms, and lugged the wagon of cardboard boxes and what seemed to be an entire chunk of golden sheet metal along the pavement.

»»————-　★　————-««

“Hi,” you said, holding the door open a second longer than necessary so that Leo could lug his giant cardboard box through. You still hadn’t figured out what he kept in all those boxes and bags.

“Hey!” he said, and bumped straight into a doorway with a red face. Then he scurried up the stairs and left you in the liminal space that was the empty apartment complex hallway after ten p.m. 

You stood there for a moment, and then realised you were still smiling.

»»————-　★　————-««

Shit. Shit. 

You were running so late. I mean, technically, it wasn’t your fault you were going to miss the start of your favourite classes ever. Your alarm clock, one of those old-fashioned red ones [it was also missing one of the bubble things on top and only rang on one side until it vibrated itself off your bedside table], hadn’t gone off in time this morning and began ringing loudly at nine thirty instead of seven thirty. 

You tossed your apple core into the little waste paper basket by the big hallway windows, and searched your pockets for your keys. Shit. 

“Hey,” Leo said, from where he was unlocking his door. He was room 7. He also had massive bags under his eyes, you noticed. You also noticed that his eyes were the prettiest glowing brown when the morning sun shone through the windows.

You blinked, forgetting why your hands were in your pockets. You probably looked like an idiot. “Uh, hi.”

He looked away, scratching the back of his neck. “Sorry… if your power went out at some point last night…? That might’ve been me.”

“Can you, like, control electricity or something?” You asked with a laugh. 

This was the first time you’d exchanged more than a few words since you’d asked for his name when you watched a very loud girl dressed solely in Olivia Rodrigo merch yell at a confused white guy to ‘pivot’, as he carried a complicated looking egg chair up the stairs. 

Leo shook his head. “Nah, I wish. ‘Was just... working on a project... And I may have blown up my power sockets. And the street lamp.”

“What are you building in there?” You asked, “A moving castle?”

»»————-　★　————-««

Your friend burped in your ear—in quite a disgusting way, may you add—and stumbled forward, arm slung over your shoulders. You roll your eyes at their inability to walk like a normal person after only three shots and pull your phone out of your pocket. After a few tries at putting your password in, 1989, you manage to unlock it. You’ve got charms hanging off the clear case—little soot sprites that swirl in your vision as you blink forcefully. 

The Uber’s on the street now, so you heaved your door shut behind you, room 4, and began to trudge down the staircase. There’s a new scorch mark on the third from the bottom step, and you picture a dragon stomping up after his 9-5. 

You tried to hold in a laugh, only to fail. Your friend giggled loudly, the laughter contagious, and faceplanted. 

“Fuck, dude,” you heard, and then turned to see Leo standing by his door, three raspberry slushies in his arms. It was the first time he hadn’t been lugging canvas bags or wooden crates in a while. 

He nodded. “Metal.” 

“Shut up!” you chuckle, wiping your brow. You reach down and pick up your friends floppy arms as they begin to snooze diagonally. The taste of vodka and pineapples rose in your throat. “Come on, get up!”

Leo peeked over the stair bannister. 

Nosy little bugger. Cute, nosy little bugger, you corrected yourself. Then you frowned, watching him blink owlishly and blush from the roots. You didn’t say that out loud, right?

“Uh, yes,” Leo squeaked, “you did.” 

»»————-　★　————-««

You carried the coffee cups as you walked up the stairs, eyes on your phone while you texted your friend to stop watching reruns of Brooklyn Nine Nine and get onto the word doc. 

The group project was due tonight, and the lazy bugger was stress-obsessing over Gina Lenetti, the human form of the one hundred emoji.

You slid your phone into the back pocket of your jeans, soot sprites catching on the denim, and fished out your keys once you reached your door. Another one banged shut further down the hall. You stuck your keys into the lock. “Hi.”

“Hey!” Leo panted, still in his pyjamas, and raced out of the building.

You rolled your eyes and grinned.

»»————-　★　————-««

“You’re gonna have to tell me what you’re doing with all of this junk,” you said cheerfully, moving your eyes in sync with the black and white cat clock hanging on the wall. 

You turned away when you got dizzy, taking in the piles of things balanced precariously around you like a steampunk library. Vintage machines like typewriters, telephones with the spinning number circles, and record players—the ones that have that big tuba shape sticking out the top—.

Drills and hammers were scattered on the layers of cute little rugs, posters from animes you hadn’t seen yet stuck to the walls, and a lot of Polaroid pictures. You picked one up. 

The two people you’d seen helping Leo move in a few months ago were grinning at the camera with Mickey Mouse hats on. 

“It’s not junk!” Leo looked up from the pile of jackets—black and white chequered ones, a giant purple hoodie, and one with flames up the sleeves—that he was hastily shoving off a mustard-coloured armchair. 

“Sorry,” you apologised with a laugh. “You’ll have to tell me what you’re doing with all those bits and bobs.”

He ran a hand through his dark, curly hair. “Okay, okay, but you can’t dob me into the landlord.”

“I would never,” you said, completely serious. Leo stared at you for a moment, his eyes all weird-looking. They made your chest feel like Ponyo, floating around and grinning. 

Then he looked away nervously. You smile and look away too. Leo’s kitchen, in the same spot as yours, with the same apartment layout, could not look any more different from yours. 

There were coloured magnets moved into swear words on the fridge and golden, oily instant coffee machines in parts on the bench. 

Your kitchen had jam jars of little flowers and chocolate-covered almonds scattered around the collection of salt and pepper shakers you’d inherited from some badass old aunt. You had matching sets of penguins, mushrooms, and creepy baby dolls, all filled with salt and pepper. 

“Sure…” Leo shoved some empty take-out boxes into his bin.

He looked at you with a wide smirk. He led you through to what you’d made into a spare room for your friends, and opened the door triumphantly. “Come on through... to Leo Land!”

You stepped around the door, even though you could’ve looked through the wide hole in it if you really wanted to. A hulking metal form was hanging from a wooden stand in the centre of the room, with wires and coils hanging out of it. 

More collections of scrap metal folded up into shapes that could be claws or grabber machines, maybe, were sitting on benches between spray cans of gold paint. 

Welding material, or at least that’s what they looked like, took up a corner, sparks flying. 

You narrowed your eyes at Leo, finally realising why he had so many tears in his cargo pants and paper clips in his jacket sleeves. “Leo…”

“Yah?”

“Are you perhaps building a bomb?”

“No!” Leo scoffed, literally hugging a giant metal boot to his chest like it was his baby. Except the boot had green eyes. “This is Festus!”

“A foetus?” you asked, wondering how deranged this pretty boy was, despite his cool old-fashioned toys, big jackets, and need for multiple slushies at a time. “Are you feeling okay?”

Leo rolled his brown eyes at you. “Festus is a dragon! Well, he's not a dragon yet; he’s just a torso, a half-done head, and a bunch of feet. He’s got nine feet right now, cause I haven’t been able to replicate a working one more than once.”

“You’re building a giant metal dragon in your spare room?”

“Well, it sounds stupid when you say it like that.”

“You’re so cool.”

»»————-　★　————-««

“Hey querida,” Leo said, kissing you on the cheek before you grabbed your mail from the boxes outside the building, waved to Stick Insect the skinny cat, and ran to your car. 

Stupid broken alarm clock.

“...Heyyy.” 

»»————-　★　————-««

“Mi amor!”

You turned around on the couch, putting down your takeout box of noodles [from the good place near the park where the old dude who plays chess against anyone who walks past lives]. “Yah?”

Leo came trudging into the lounge, slash kitchen, with your bright red alarm clock in his arms, all parts attached. “Fixed!”

He plopped down on the couch next to you, squashing the lion squishmellow that had been ripped open in the back, and showed you the now shiny metal and matching bits on the top, with that stupid little grin of his. 

You kissed the top of his nose and took the clock from his greasy, scarred [incredibly nice-looking] hands. “Thank you.”

The TV crackled in front of you both, balancing on the stack of old record players Leo was repairing for the second-hand store full of goths and old ladies down the street. You put the little alarm clock down near your feet and pulled out the strawberry-patterned blanket Piper’s girlfriend crocheted you both for Christmas. 

Leo leant over and curled his arm around your waist, laying half across you like a cat in the sun. You sat up a little, as he fiddled with the remote he’d added far too many buttons to for no reason at all. "Here, stick insect, kitty! Stick insect, here, kitty!”

Little padding sounds came from the hallway, and then the chubby, spotted cat launched herself over the back of the couch and onto Leo’s shoulder. 

He shreiked and headbutted you as Stick Insect hopped over and sat between you both, plopped down in loaf position, fluffy feet hidden. Leo sniffed haughtily and sank into the hug you gave him. Stick Insect began chewing on the necklace around your neck, the blue teardrop one Leo had made you a while ago. You kissed his forehead, stroking the cat's soft forehead gently.

He turned the TV on, looking up at you with sparkling eyes. “Howl, or Kiki?”

»»————-　★　————-««

I HAVE A PJO EVENT GOING ON RIGHT PLEASE GO INTERACT YOU CAN REQUEST ANYTHING JUST CHECK THE POST <3 <3

[angelagiarratana]

Anon Writes 1

You’re at a Smosh meet and greet at a con and when you and Angela lock eyes there’s just something™️ there. Later you’re on the con floor and you’re not really paying attention to where you’re walking, too busy looking at all the cool merch in the booths. You walk right into Angela. You basically become a stuttering mess. She flirts and you walk away with her number (ooorrrrr you walk with her to the nearest bathroom 😉)

Vidcon was something you both loved 

Angela came into the living room carrying Spork wearing her Vidcon hoodie. You paused the show and looked at her in the kitchen cooing at Spork. “I like your hoodie.” She looked at you, “Hm I wonder why?”

Some people from Smosh were over for a game night and Angela insisted on bringing Spork to play. Courtney put her phone down, "Wait is Y/n the girl from vidcon you wouldn't shut up about all week?" Angela scoffed, "Why would you expose me like that!" Shayne laughed loudly. Keith demanded, "Okay now I need to hear this story."

 ------

“Have a good day!” You told the guy who just bought a t-shirt from you at Vidcon. The floor was packed with people from different fandoms trying to get to their creators before they sold out of what they wanted. A couple people who didn’t know of your work stopped by, the sticker table catching their attention. You weren’t paying any mind to it until you heard a laugh that was too familiar to you. You turned around to see Angela and a few of the others from Smosh at the table next to yours. The panic set in when she looked at you and you made eye contact. Her face lit up, “Oh my god! Y/n! I love your work!” Your face started burning, you knew you got some traction but Smosh knowing you existed? You were a fangirl at heart. “Hi! I also love your work. Huge Smosh fan.” She approached your table and set her full attention on you. Angela was transfixed by your features. The way your cheeks moved when you smile, how your eyes lit up when you talked about your upcoming projects. 

The 10 minute conversation felt like 10 seconds. Amanda walked over and grabbed her arm, “Hate to interrupt but we have a panel to get to.” Angela frowned, “Can I get your number or something so we can talk again this week?” Your heart stopped and you had to take a calming breath, “Of course, just text me!” She left you with the promise of getting drinks one night. The next night, your sitting at the hotel bar waiting for your friends to come down to walk to the party. Your phone buzzed on the bar and you set your glass down. 

Angela 

Going to the party?

Your cheeks lit up bright red. You picked up your phone and shot her back a text,

Yeah! I’m waiting for some friends to walk over together, be there soon

Angela

See you then pretty girl 

Time frozen, and before you could fully process it your friends came around the corner. You were pulled from your seat and dragged out the door, still speechless. It was a bold move from her end. Unless she saw right through you, she had no way of knowing what your feelings or intentions were. You mind raced as the elevator doors to the roof opened and flashing lights caught your attention. After a shot of liquid courage and a song belted with your friends, you opened your phone, 

Hey, I’m here. Are you here yet? 

Angela

One sec, I think I see you, don’t move

You looked around hoping to find her too. Faces you recognized, random influencer, DJ, Chanse, Angela, your friends, wait. You snapped your head back around to see her waving at you, dodging and weaving through the crowd. She was more dressed up than usual, but still in her dirty white shoes. When she reached you her mouth fell open, “You look amazing.” You smiled and thanked her, “You also look fantastic.” You didn’t hesitate to check her out, but regretted it when you met her eyes, a knowing look on her face. “Do you want another drink?” You simply nodded and grabbed her arm, making her slightly chuckle. 

A few more drinks in and the drinks have been long forgotten as you and Angela sat in a corner of the room on a couch, side by side, but face to face. Your legs thrown over hers. The corner was quiet enough to hear each other without others hearing. Angela swirled her glass of a watered-down vodka tonic, her attention fully on you, once again astonished at you. Angela could barely feel her legs but she wouldn’t dare say a word. “Actually moved to L.A. alone and just figured it out as I went. I had a plan but no real way to make it happen. I met a guy at a coffee shop because I complimented his mug and he gave me my first permanent job here.” Angela was awestruck, “That’s fucking awesome. That’s like the most Indie movie moment I have ever heard.” She put her hand on your knee, squeezing it. A jolt ran through you. Angela noticed how your breathing changed and you couldn’t look at her. “What’s so interesting over there beautiful?” She was laying it on THICK and you loved every second of it. 

“I really think that smaller theatre production companies make some of the best work and it rarely gets any recognition purely because of the lack of A-list cast members-“ “Hey Ang!” Chanse yelled as he jogged/drunkenly stumbled over, “We’re all heading out and you know the rules.” Angela sighed, “Come together, leave together.” She looked at you, a genuine pout on her face. “You’re so precious.” It came out so smooth and warm, you couldn’t believe it left YOUR mouth. Angela smiled and looked down at her lap. You put your hand on hers, “Go, I would do the same. I’ll text you tomorrow?” She nodded, “Let me know when you get back?” Your turn to nod. She lifted your hands pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. You moved your legs as Chanse dramatically gagged. “You fucker,” Angela stood from the couch and smacked his arm, “I’ll see you Y/n.” You waved and watched them as they danced over to the rest of the group and Courtney hugged Angela. 

You then stood looking for your own friends only to never find them. You checked their location to see them at the hotel, leaving you to walk back alone. You sighed and started back. You turned the corner into the hotel lobby and shivered from the AC. The lobby was still bustling with people drinking, playing games, filming, and getting extra pillows. As the elevator doors closed, you thanked the universe for the silence. 

------

"And that's when I found her in the elevator, by herself, tipsy. I was absolutely gut-wrenched that they left her by herself four blocks from the hotel." Angela squeezed your hand. "I remember rambling about how much I wish I had just asked her to walk with us." Courtney immediately sat up, "That is the best YouTube love story I have ever heard." Amanda raised her hand, "Yeah I agree. That was straight romcom." Courtney hugged Amanda and they dramatically cried. You chuckled at them. "No that's just fanfiction." Spencer chimed in, "I would know, I did the research for fanfic theatre." The group chuckled and Angela looked at you. 3 months later and she can’t focus when she looks at you.

[thomotomo]

Hi! If you're not comfortable with this request feel free to delete it, I just thought about faker and keria being rivals 'cause they're in love with the reader, who is a streamer at t1 and also their best friend, and they're just competing to see who can impress the reader more djfjsjd.

The competition

A/N: Thank you for that request it was very fun to write (after all who wouldn't be happy to have two cute guys fighting over you aksk) I hope you'll be satisfied with this and that you'll like the "plotwist"~

You had always been a huge league of legends fan, since the beginning of the game really, and following the e-sport scene since it really started. So when T1 (well, SKT back when you started) had come up to you and asked to be one of their streamers, you clearly didn't took a long time to accept the offer.

The day you had started, your followers were ecstatic, after all you had always been a huge T1 supporter and this was just a dream come true to you. Over the years now being inside the industry and close to the players you had became friends with all the different people that had player for T1 alongside other teams but nowadays the one you were hanging out with the most was Keria, after all the two of you shared a same enjoyment for Kpop and whenever you could you would just go out to buy kpop merch together.

Unbeknownst to you, but a certain Unkillable Demon King was jealous of this friendship. He knew you for the longest time and yes, maybe he had nourished a small crush on you throughout all the years you had become friends and seeing you hang out with the young support. So he decided that tonight after your stream, the two of you would go eat hotpot. He had texted you his plan, making sure that you wouldn't get whisked away last-minute by Minseok. Naturally you had accepted his offer, after all hotpot was one of your favourite food and in this season it was always welcomed.

Later that night as you cleaned up your streaming room Sanghyeok opened the door with his usual slightly awkward smile.

"Ready? Let's go eat."

You took your backpack, chuckling at his excitement, whenever it was about eating hotpot, Faker was basically becoming as excited as a puppy. The two of you walked out of the headquarters of T1 and headed to a restaurant nearby that Sanghyeok was stopping by pretty often. The owner was always happy to see Sanghyeok and there was a private "area" where she often put him and whomever was coming for privacy. You were starving and you definitely were going to eat like a king, ordering a whole lot of food and when everything was laid out on the table you couldn't help but take a picture, posting it on Instagram and tagging Sanghyeok.

Keria, who had your notifications turned on, immediately clicked on the story and he couldn't help but feel jealousy take over his soul and he wondered if the two of you were on a date, but he quickly shook off the idea away from his head, surely if it was an actual date you wouldn't broadcast it to your whole audience.

And just like that, both Minseok and Sanghyeok were fighting for your attention and trying to impress you. There was a few times where Sanghyeok had been doing his best to impress you by displaying his cooking skills, even feeding you some whilst he was cooking. Minseok on the other hand was bringing you signed items by your favourite idols, or ticket concerts that you could attend together. A few times, on separate occasions, the both of them had been barging in during your streaming sessions, keen on showing off something to you.

"Hyung you gotta see this! I had a new idea and it works perfectly let me show you!", Minseok had promptly dragged you away from your computer, luckily for him you had just been discussing with your audience so it was fine and you weren't missing anything important.

He explained to you excitedly this new idea he had and showed it off to you. You praised him, messing up his hair in affection. And when you set back in your seat, you couldn't help but grin at your audience.

"Honestly, everyone should be scared of Keria, he's a little genius. He's going to eat everyone this year."

" (Y/N)-ah. I need you to taste this.", this time it was Sanghyeok. You turned your chair to face him, keeping an eye on the game that was happening, opening your mouth as he fed you a spoon of whatever he was cooking. Your eyes widened and your tore your gaze away from the screen as you chewed on the food.

"Wa... It's so delicious hyung! Please put some aside for me!", Sanghyeok's chest puffed up in pride due to your compliment.

As this happened one too many times the two men were "scolded" by management, effectively putting an end to the almost daily interruption in order to show off to you, to your fans' greatest sadness, after all they really enjoyed seeing players of T1's League roster stopping by your stream for random interactions.

The atmosphere in the team was kind of different now that Minseok and Sanghyeok were competing for your affections and the scrims were definitely more intense, after all both of them wanted bragging rights when seeing you.

Those days, though, it was hard for them to meet with you, training was taking all of their time. But after two weeks of not being able to see each other you were finally able to coordinate a dinner with the whole team. To the rest of the team's greatest entertainment Sanghyeok and Minseok had tried their best to look conspicuous to have a seat facing you for Sanghyeok and seating to your right was Minseok.

In the end, Keria had been the one who had accidentally discovered that you weren't single. He had been trotting over to your streaming room, you weren't streaming today but you had come up to do some work on your PC so you were there and he was eager to see you, he had brought some albums he had desperately been wanting to open but in his terms you were his "good luck charm" so he wanted to maximise his chances to pull his bias (really an excuse to spend time with you).

He thought he was hearing muffled speaking as he approached your door, but really you enjoyed speaking to yourself so it wouldn't be surprising if you were alone. Only, right after he knocked and stepped into the room he froze because, on the ground with his hair disheveled, t-shirt off and sporting a very clear blush was Sky. You didn't look much better than him and Keria couldn't even get himself to admire your pretty well built torso as you quickly put back on some clothing. It was very clear that what happened right as he entered wasn't some kind of play-fight.

"Minseok-ah!! I'm really sorry you had to see that!!", Haneul spoke first whilst passing a hand through his hair.

"Yes I'm also so sorry about this... I'm... We haven't spoke of this to anyone, could you please keep it on the down low?", your eyes were pleading him, and he completely understood after all it could get complicated if the public heard about this, not everyone was very open-minded and it would be terrible if either you or Haneul had to leave the company with a scandal like that tied to your names.

"It's... Okay hyungs. I can wait until later to come back.", Minseok's right hand was clutching his bag tightly, he was feeling really sad now and he had to get himself out of here fast.

The young man was waiting outside, chewing his lip in awkwardness, he decided it was worth sending a text to Sanghyeok, after all even though they had been "fighting" over you they were still teammates and friends. And even though he didn't want to say who you were dating, after all you had asked him to keep it low until you were ready.

Finally after a few minutes, Haneul left your streaming room, looking more put together than before and he apologised to Minseok before walking away, a small blush still present on his cheeks. Minseok shuffled inside your room, not looking the most comfortable.

"Minseok-ah, I'm once again very sorry you had to see that..."

"It's okay (Y/N)-hyung you don't have to justify yourself!", he put down the bag of albums.

"Still! I'm sorry maybe we should've spoke to the team about it but you know it is kind of still new? And we didn't want to bring any problem inside the team if it wasn't working you know..."

Minseok nodded and the two of you stood there, still in an awkward atmosphere but you tried to dismiss it by pointing to the bag he had brought.

"So... You got new albums?"

Minseok tried to look excited and he started opening them, desperate to ignoring his heartbreak.

A few days later, you and Haneul made your relationship known to the team and the staff, it seemed that you had been discussing with the management so that the situation wouldn't surprise the company if it ever got leaked to the public. As the announcement was made, Zeus, Oner and Gumayusi looked at Faker and Keria from the corner of their eyes, wondering how their teammates were going to react but the two men let nothing negative transpire and instead congratulated the both of you.

Only once the five teammates were together did they admit to the sadness they felt, though Minseok had gotten a bit more time to process his feelings and what he had stumbled upon.

Obviously they were sad, after all, they had been doing their best to impress you and get your attention but all in vain, as you had apparently been dating Haneul since the very beginning. In krder to bury the hatchet properly, Gumayusi had offered to treat them to hotpot, after all it was always guaranteed to warm both hearts and stomachs.

And so that night, they all went together to their favourite hotpot place, burying the hatchet as well as mending their broken hearts. At least they wouldn't harbor harsh feelings or jealousy towards one another if they had been successful in their confession.

[littleforestfellow]

on the tour for stomachaches frank did a free show at the brooklyn bazaar. i was 14 and poor as hell and it meant the world to me that i could go and even drag a friend along bc it was FREE!! and the venue felt so cool to me at the time there was a bowling alley and a bar and a flea market going on in the middle of it. but the stage area itself was small and when frank came out everything else faded away. this guy who i worshipped was 4 feet from my face sweating and thrashing and playing his heart out. he didn't play any differently than if it was a stadium. for maybe 100 kids in this weird little venue he played like the world was ending the next day. he also worked the merch table which was just insane. i shook like a leaf as my hero handed me a pink pin badge that he signed for me even though it only cost a dollar. frank iero i love u forever

[starscelly]

a pleasure to ask more about the flying stars, i love hearing about it! 💚 i love the imagery of them with a long list of names they are debating for their band with only slightly mild hysteria of being up too late whether on some bighuge whiteboard or on a notes app like a baby names list before throwing their hands up, throwing a (hopefully metaphorical!) dart and introducing themselves as a different name every other night and taking audience feedback (getting a crowd of twenty something people to shout out if they prefer shooting stars or seeing stars) i think its so funny that they only realize that roope and robo go absolutely wild after they start performing 😭 five injured, microphone dead, still waiting for the crowd to pass robo back to them, divine inspiration struck for their band name at a show under an overpass and they still gotta pack their gear back up! i know you mention players as staff or assistance or a friend but are there other players involved in the scene? could be performing, could be a fan!

DEEPLY SORRY I LEFT THIS IN MY INBOX FOR SOO LONG.... forgive me. i love discussing the boys i just take forever to ruminate on my thoughts for them <3 i hope the long ass answer makes up for it omg

and oh yes at one point when theyre still figuring out the name they for Sure just start running a bit before shows "WE'RE THE [mumble unintelligible grumbling] STARS!" "hope you're excited to see the [WET COUGH] stars!" "... and with our dearest otter on the drums, WE are YOUR [loud clanging and banging from drumset] STARS!"

also hello "still waiting for the crowd to pass robo back to them" is so funny and so true. he's lost a shoe and ty is trying to drag him back to the stage but somebody has like a death grip on him and onstage otter and roope are frantically looking for something to write the name down with before they forget (miro wrote it in his notes app like the second one of them said it but he's staying quiet about it)

AND YES SO. delly harls are strictly Helping Out. delly by virtue of being otter's best friend/roommate BUT harls was like Into the punk scene!!! and really liked their sound (definitely NOTHING to do with any looks........) and befriended del who introduced him to the band etc etc so he was a fan turned roadie!

and wyatt DOES help run their merch table but he is ALSO a guitarist and singer . his stuff leans a little more like. indie rock than Heavier Punk like the flying stars play but he's a Friend of the Band (dating delly and always at his and otter's apartment because he's renting a room in Normal Dude joe pavelski's family home and is NOT bringing his boyfriend back there) and to seem more Professional they just have him perform as an opener ! because he is very good! though he honestly just ends up playing acoustic covers of popular punk/emo songs half the time the crowds are very endeared by his boyish swag.

i have ALSOOO played with the idea of him eventually Gaining Bandmates. which would probably end up being stank mav and nils! but i just havent fully decided their like. Instruments. i think one of them on keyboard would be kinda fun but grain of salt lol. i also want lian in here somewhere but i need him to get nhl time/more ahl time before i can flesh out those vibes.

AND I DONT THINK I EVER TALKED ABOUT THIS IM JUST REALIZING???? BUT MENTOR BAND!!!! disbanded mentor band but well. they all were fans of [insert tbd band name here actually maybe this is why i never talked about it] who were like. kinda on the cusp of fame? like were probably one album away from Making It before everything kinda crashed down. and it consisted of segs (vocals), klinger (guitar), esa (bass), bish (drums). their breakup was kinda messy and somewhat rooted in like. the very anti sellout culture of punk. to summarize it with like Minimal Detail (bc i would love to make a whole Thing abt it lowkey):

klinger out of nowhere is like. i have to go. there's better opportunities for me in california i know it (which was a Fucking Lie there was Drama with their manager but he didnt know how to or really want to articulate it and just wanted to get far away and his best offer was coming from california) which obviously everyone in the band IMMEDIATELY jumped on him like. what the fuck youre such a sellout we started this band as friends and youre leaving us for better opportunities?? in fucking california?? they were also all already like. on edge and stressed from the level of fame they were starting to get. so it was messy. and then him and esa had a messy breakup ofc. they're all cordial now but it lead to the immediate disbanding of the. band. because esa and tyler wanted to bring in other guitarists but bish refused to play with randos he wanted to play with his FRIENDS and it just. never worked out. so now esa tyler bish (and sometimes klinger when hes in town but . he tries to avoid being in town) spend their days working relatively normal ass jobs and going to flying stars shows and being like Don’t Be Us Don’t Go Sell Out Don’t Run From Feelings. and you know their asses are Listening to that Advice.

^ somehow that was the abbreviated version just trust me

[finchinmoria]

LOTR characters at Pride 🏳‍🌈

(A little silly and out of character but aren't we all.)

(Also, I headcannon them all queer but left out my specifics so they could be read how anyone wants them to be.)

Speak friend and enter the pride fest:

Frodo, Sam, Rosie and Rosie's girlfriend/theyfriend (Who? You? Me? Reader's choice!) are a powerhouse polycule with a YouTube channel. Even though Frodo made a list of events they were going to hit, they keep getting sidetracked by fans who want to talk and take selfies. So they mostly just wander and enjoy the day. Sam does have a backpack full of necessities to keep everyone comfortable and makes sure everyone, even complete strangers, are wearing enough sunscreen.

Arwen and Aragorn may not be 👑royalty👑 in this timeline, but are still pretty high profile so they keep it pretty open and casual. They set up all day in a shady spot at the public square on a bench with blankets laid out on the grass so they can talk with anyone who passes by. It's the pit stop for their friends to come cool off or relax when they need a break. Arwen brings a bag full of hair supplies and makeup so people can come in for touch ups throughout the day. She can do anyone's pride flag eyeshadow look flawlessly in under two minutes. (So could Aragorn, probably.)

Pippin's main goal is to eat something from every single food truck, deli, and coffee shop in the area. He says it's so he can post actual helpful reviews but he ends up only posting one Instagram reel where he speaks incoherently with a mouthful of vegan chili fries and that's it. Takes a bunch of pictures of different food items with different pride flags but forgets about them and doesn't post them until September.

Merry will buy from every single vendor at every event. You have flags? T-shirts? Jewelry? Art? He's going to buy one of each from every artist and organization. (He then donates most of the things he buys to the local lgbtq community center.)

Boromir doesn't want to wander around too much by himself because it's his first pride, but sticking with Merry and Pippin means he becomes responsible for carrying all their stuff. Within an hour he's absolutely covered in merch with three tote bags on each arm. He knows his flag is one of the 27 he now has hanging on or tucked in every available space on his body but if you asked him which one it was he would have to ask Merry. Pippin does keep him hydrated at least, a new flavor of iced lemonade always appears in his hand whenever the last one runs out.

Éowyn and Faramir run the table for the local non-profit advocacy group that educates citizens on important legislation that impacts the queer community. They can explain the details of different bills and current issues being tracked in the legal system, organize volunteer groups for different causes, and hook people in need up with outreach and activist organizations.

Gimli and Legolas disappear on June 1st and don't emerge again until the month is over. People will catch glimpses of them pretty much everywhere, and when they do there is always either a lot of glitter or alcohol involved (and let's be honest, most of the time both). No one can figure out how they managed to be on multiple floats in the same parade but after a while no one questions it. 

Haldir saw once a long time ago that some orientations weren't represented very well and has been on a mission to rectify that ever since. Even though things have gotten better, he now always has a table where he gives away stuff for the underrepresented identities. He's got all the genderqueer flags, tons of neopronoun pins, and whole decks of cards with just aces in them. If you're demi or flux or anything else not widely represented, Haldir's got you.

Gandalf loves the drag shows but since they are all either outside or in very crowded loud clubs, he usually hits one then spends the rest of his time in a very air conditioned, quieter, industrial style bar with elder queers and some bears.

Bilbo coordinates all the literary events like the queer banned books mobile, drag story times, poetry readings, and elder queer panels. Definitely tells his own activist stories from back in the day to anyone who will listen (and many do!)

Elrond goes just to check things out for an hour or two, but ends up having the time of his life and signing up to drive the queer banned books mobile for the rest of the summer. 

Happy pride, everyone! 🌈

[xoxo-teddybear]

Adorable - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Fluff, Crack, Cursing, slice of life, Bakugou kinda ooc but still lovable

Summary: Honestly it’s just some scenarios of Bakugou and Y/N being an adorable couple. It’s also just some moments in their lives as a couple

“Annnddd....done!” You squealed as you got your setup ready. You were currently setting up a cupcake tower on a table after you spent days baking. UA needed some funds so they set up a little event to raise money. Students could either participate in raising money or giving money and Y/N chose to do a little cupcake sale to help out. What a sweetheart.

“It looks amazing Y/N,” Mina said as she tried to grab a cupcake. You smacked her hand away before she snatched one. “Ow!”

“Those aren’t free Mina, they’re important too.” You explained as you picked up a stack of flyers to pass out.

“I know they’re important! They’re gonna save my life! I didn’t get to eat breakfast and I’m starvingggg.” You laughed at your best friend before you took a few steps away from your table to pass out the papers.

“Well unless you pay for it, you can’t have it. Besides, I put a lot of work into them. I spent a week in the kitchen and I just spent 4 hours setting up the table. Cant let them go to waste and just give ‘em for free.” you said as you gave away the flyers.

What you didn’t realize was that behind you at your table, Bakugou and Kirishima had stumbled upon your cupcake table and silently went in to grab one. Unfortunately, they weren’t the most graceful and tipped over your entire setup. They looked at each other in shock and quickly scrambled to fix their mistake as you were distracted. The boys picked up the table and quickly went to gather the cakes.

“I put a lot of time into them. There’s sugar free, dairy free-“

“Do you have any that are just free free? I’m really hungry.” Mina whined and you gave in.

“Fine, I’ll let you have a cupcake if you help me with the sale. You can make sure the table stays neat and tidy!” you bargained to which Mina agreed. However, as you said that, Bakugou had tipped the table again after he bumped into it while picking up cupcakes and Kirishima gave him a look that screamed ‘duuudeee seriously?!’ As he was on his knees picking up the sweets.

“Hey, maybe we can get Bakugou and Kirishima to help us too!” Mina offered.

“Ehh, I don’t know. They’d probably just want to eat everything,” you warned as you hung up one flyer.

“I doubt they’d put food in their mouths if it meant helping the school.” She tried to defend them but behind your backs, the boys panicked when they didn’t know what to do and just stuffed the cakes in their mouths. They left evidence all over their hands and face.

“Well, let’s get this bake sale started!” You said and when you both turned around to face your table, you saw it on the ground along with a few cupcakes. The rest of them were in the hands and mouths of Kirishima and Bakugou as you both watched them continue to chow down on the desserts. Once they noticed you guys staring they froze, dropped the cupcakes, pointed towards each other, and spoke with full mouths at the same time.

“.....he did it.” They both said with frosting and cake all in their hands, mouths, and faces.

—

Here’s the situation. Y/N has been directed to keep a low profile due to her being targeted by a few villains. She wasn’t down for that especially since her and Bakugou were a duo. She knew Bakugou could handle himself but it made her feel better knowing they were both looking out for each other on the field. And so, to keep fighting by his side, she went under an Alias hero name, Blaze, and gave herself a new look for the time being. She wore a very subtle and natural wig, different makeup, and wore a bandana mask that covered half her face.

Bakugou of course knew who she was, along with the rest of the former students in 1-A, but they went along with it so that Y/N can continue to fight. Unfortunately, “Blaze,” grew popular as people began to notice Bakugou’s “new” hero partner and eventually, the duo got an interview that wanted an inside scoop on all things Blaze. So here we are at that interview.

“You know Dynamight, I think I like this new partner better than H/N,” the interviewer said. Bakugou and the rest of 1-A grew a shocked and fearful look on their faces once those words left the poor man’s mouth.

“Excuse me?” Y/N aka Blaze said.

“Well, Blaze, I think you just have this special something that H/N never had. And, I think you’re more talented than her.” Ironic since the man is speaking to the same girl just with a different name. Once he said that though, the former students all grew shocked faces that were the embodiment of “😧😯” as they awaited for Y/N’s reply.

“Heh...what?” Y/N laughed trying to play it off and not be detected, “H/N is brilliant. You have no idea what you are talking about,” Y/N said with a slight smile but 100% attitude. Bakugou looked at his girlfriend with hesistant eyes as he was worried she would kill the man.

“I think I do,” the man started, “see, you just bring this fresh new look for Dynamight that H/N never brought.”

Bakugou was pissed this man was talking about his Y/N like that but he was in the eye of the public and had to keep a cool cover and so he quickly jumped to try and save this interviewer from Y/N’s wrath.

“H/N was also fresh! Heh..some might even say that H/N and Blaze have the same amount of ..fre-freshness.” Bakugou tried to counter but the man kept going.

“Well in my opinion, Y/N L/N wasnt an impactful or important part of your success at all. She was overrated.” And Bakugou’s face grew worried and shocked as his head snapped towards Y/N to gaze her reaction.

“Huh! What do you know?! You don’t fight villains or save lives!” Y/N aka Blaze said as she stood from her seat and walked towards the man. “You just sit there with your over-gelled, swoopy hair as you read and ask stupid questions off of stupid cards!” She said and took the cards out of his hands and threw them at the man.

Bakugou was quick to stand and try to take the attention away from the scene. “Hey uh..my-my team will be coming out with new Dynamight merch so stay tuned for that!..heh...”

“And another thing,” Y/N said as her intense stare never left the interviewer’s. “H/N has worked too hard to be treated with such disrespect! Am I right everyone?!” She asked the crowd in the audience as they all cheered in agreement.

“See this is what I’m talking about!” The man said as he stood up with you and Katsuki. “This is that exact fire that Y/N lacks!”

“Oh I’ll show you fire!” You said as you went to jump the man but before you got a chance Bakugou was quick to grab you and throw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He turned to the man and apologized and created a casual conversation as you hung from his shoulders, fist-pumping with the crowd as they cheered on your alias name.

“Goodnight everyone!” Bakugou screamed as he ran off with you and out of the building. He took you home and you both had to take a breather from the insane night.

—

“Baby?” Bakugou screamed into your dorm room as he couldn’t find you. He just got back from a training session in the forest with Aizawa and had been looking for you all day. He just wants to see his teddy bear.

“Baby?” Checked the common rooms..nothing.

“Babyyy?” Checked the kitchens...nope.

“Y/N?” Checked the school..not here either.

“Teddy Bear?” Checked the gym..you already know. Bakugou got tired and went to the rooftop.

“TEDDY BEAARRRRRRRR!!!!” He screamed to the world. He still got nothing but then he heard feet running up the stairs and the door bust open. He turned in hopes of it being his loving girlfriend but instead he saw his 4 friends.

“BAKUGOU! SHUT UP!” They all screamed at him.

“Oh shut up idiots! I’m trying to find my girlfriend here!” Bakugou said and as he was getting ready to yell again, the Bakusquad shut him up and dragged him to his dorm room.

“Did you check there?!” Mina asked and she and the rest of the squad walked away. Bakugou walked in and saw you peacefully sleeping in his bed and out of nowhere his annoyed thoughts all left him as he smiled at your slumbering state. He took off his bags and shoes as he jumped into bed with you and smothered your face in quick kisses.

You finally woke up to the ticklish feeling of your loving boyfriend and giggled as he assaulted you with his love. “Hey baby, what’s up?”

“I’ve been looking for you Princess,” Bakugou said as his lips were on your cheek. His face was smooshed into yours as he inhaled your sweet scent. He loved it here.

“You need something, love?” You asked as you turned to face him. You watched as Bakugou just nodded his head and poked his lips out. Yes. Bakugou Katsuki did all that searching and yelling for a single peck on the lips from you. It was all he craved for and he was gonna get it. You smiled as you rolled your eyes and gave in. The sweet peck was enough to make Bakugou combust as he sighed in satisfaction and flopped onto his bed, bringing you down with you him.

“Thank you!” He said with shut eyes and a contempt smile.

“Sure babe, anytime,” you said as you cuddled into him and drifted back off to sleep. Katsuki following you, dreaming about giving you even more kisses.

—

Y/N had been meditating. Due to her quirk, it was good that she’d get some R&R during these peaceful and quiet states. Until her boyfriend walked in. Bakugou Katsuki, who is very much the opposite of peaceful and quiet.

“Baby?” He asked. “Is there anything I can do to help?” He said with a pretty chirpy attitude and a small smile.

“Go away,” you smiled sweetly at him for a second before turning back around.

“THAT’S JUST MEAN!”

—

A/N: idk I thought this was cute :/

[foxy-exy]

You don’t have to say you love me (I just wanna tell you somethin’) - Kevaaron

Aaron could have predicted that pretending to date Kevin Day to get back at Andrew would backfire. He just didn't think it would backfire like this.

Another present fic for @starsandgutters !!

It started off as irritation. A prickle of annoyance. After all, Aaron thought, why was his brother allowed to have his stupid little boyfriend who gave him sappy little looks and brushed his fingers when they thought no one was looking? When Andrew spent so much energy and time driving off each and every girl Aaron had ever even smiled at?

When he woke up to Josten curled up in Andrew’s bed, he felt the anger begin to simmer in his chest.

And when he finally walked in on them kissing, Aaron Minyard knew something had to be done.

***

“I’m sick of this.”

Kevin looked up at the slam of Aaron’s hands on the kitchen counter, a ghost of a wince startling him out of his intent perusal of a book — one that looked suspiciously like some kind of soapy dollar store romance. Aaron raised an eyebrow at the chiselled man with an Exy racquet slung across his shoulders plastered across the cover, and Kevin cleared his throat and flipped the book over.

“Sick of, uh, sick of what?”

“Them. Josten being all over Andrew.”

Kevin looked mildly disturbed. “You didn’t… they weren’t…”

Aaron mimed vomiting. Imagine walking in on that. “Oh god, no. They were just making out. But it’s pissing me off. At this point, I feel like they need a taste of their own fucking medicine.”

Kevin lifted a dark eyebrow, uncomprehending. “What do you mean?”

Aaron considered him over the top of his laced fingers.

It wasn’t Kevin’s fault that Aaron and Katelyn had tearfully decided several months ago that the sneaking around just wasn’t worth the effort — attempting to keep their relationship up at a distance wasn’t working, so they’d parted ways. And it also wasn’t Kevin’s fault that he was now the only one who wasn’t related to Aaron that he actually exchanged more than two regular words with.

But the plan that had been quietly brewing in the very back corner of Aaron’s head for several weeks now was, admittedly, immensely helped by Kevin being Kevin. The fact that it was Kevin — of anyone Aaron could hatch this particular plot with — would piss Andrew off like no other.

And ultimately, that was the utmost goal.

“Kevin, what if I were to tell you…”

***

“What.”

“Look, I’ll help you with studying. Or — or something. I don’t know, what do you want? I’ll get you merch for your favorite team. Something for Knox, or whatever? You can put it on your little shrine.”

“This is ridiculous,” Kevin said, but he suddenly looked a little pinker than he was before. “I don’t have a…a shrine.”

Aaron opened his mouth to make a comment about how he didn’t know what else the entire inside of Kevin’s wardrobe was supposed to be, but now was the time to let things like that go. “I know Andrew and Josten piss you off too. If they figured out they needed to chill out with each other, maybe they’d do more practice with you.”

Kevin looked to be considering the proposition, finally, narrowing his far-away eyes thoughtfully down at the shirtless Exy player, only slightly concealed on the counter by one hand. At last, he said haltingly, “Couldn’t you…ask someone else?”

The uncertainty was Aaron’s in. He pushed forward, throwing another Kevin bait into the mix. “If you do it, I’ll practice extra with you too.”

Kevin’s eyes narrowed again, snapping up to sharpen on Aaron’s face. He had him. “I don’t know if you could keep up.”

“Oh my god, you asshole, that’s the point. I’ll put in more effort, you can show me how.”

“You’ll join night practices?” Kevin tilted his head.

A twinge of nervous anxiety in Aaron’s stomach. “I mean, I can’t do it all the time, I have to study, because unlike the rest of you all, my classes actually matter outside of a minimum GPA. But sure, whatever. Sometimes I’ll let you drag me along. If you do this.”

“This is ridiculous,” Kevin sighed again, as he stuck out his hand for Aaron to shake.

“So is your book,” deadpanned Aaron.

(Though if he had to chew his lip nearly to bleed to bite back a smile when Kevin dove to escape with his smut novel with a sputter and a glare, it was no one’s business but his own.)

***

“Greek salad and the turkey sandwich, here you two are. Enjoy.”

Kevin was sporting a sour scowl strong enough to wilt the salad the cafe waiter had placed in front of him — like getting treated to lunch was the lowest part of his week.

Maybe it was, he’d probably prefer to carry out this plan on the court. After all, Kevin preferred to do most things on the court.

Now that Aaron thought about it, Josten preferred the same. Perhaps the next part of this plan could happen on the court. At least Kevin would look less like he wanted to be five miles away from him, which really ruined the entire point of this exercise.

“They usually get coffee here around this time, so we just need to be a little convincing when they show up,” Aaron muttered, once more glancing furtively over his shoulder for Andrew and his annoying redheaded shadow. “But before they get here, Kevin, you did agree to at least pretend to fake date me. Maybe drop the murder glare, it’s not very romantic.”

“What am I even supposed to do?” Kevin hissed, but his glare dropped in favor of the same flavor of embarrassment Aaron recognized from his Knox shrine, eyes darting to Aaron’s face and back away, on repeat.

Aaron scoffed. “You’ve dated before. You were dating — what’s her name, Thea, weren’t you?”

“Not like this,” Kevin mumbled, beginning to shred his napkin.

Aaron watched him shower paper confetti across the tabletop, biting back his own surprise. Granted, Aaron had only seen Thea once or twice before Kevin had ended things with her, and their relationship had never seemed anything like Aaron’s often short lived but whirlwind style romances. Kevin and Thea had read aloof power couple at best, and… dangerously close to toxic old Raven headspace for Kevin at worst.

But still… Kevin Day, unsure of dating. Unsure of himself. A strange sight indeed.

“Well. We’ll figure it out. First, here.” Aaron slid an open palm across the table, and Kevin stared down at it like it was a foreign object.

“Hold my hand. It’s not going to bite you.” No movement, but Aaron knew how to play to his audience. “Or are you not up to the challenge?”

Kevin huffed and slapped his hand down, clamping his fingers around Aaron’s wrist. His hand was very large, and enveloped most of Aaron’s, but the death grip was anything but amorous.

“Prime boyfriend hand holding, Day,” Aaron said dryly.

“Prime plan, Minyard,” Kevin parroted back, as he picked his fork back up, raising his eyebrow. “Have fun eating that sandwich with one hand.”

“Fuck you.”

“Not on the first date, honey,” Kevin smiled around his forkful.

“Oh, of course. I’ll wait til the second to jump you, I’m not a slut, sweetheart.”

The slight choke brought a wave of triumph, as Aaron also managed to pick up half of his slightly soggy sandwich and bit into it.

Kevin was giving him A Look, and Aaron flipped him off with his sandwich hand, smirking.

Even if he’d had another option for this plan, Kevin was fun to poke at. It had been a long time since they’d last properly talked. They rarely spent time alone — Andrew was the Minyard Kevin was most interested in. Aaron’s preoccupation with Katelyn and with his schoolwork had meant he’d rarely spent much time speaking to him, anyway, let alone trading snarky insults.

Kevin speared an olive and stared at it. “So… aside from… holding hands. What are we planning on doing?”

Aaron tried to cough down dry turkey. “We just need to fool Andrew into thinking we’re an item, it’s not that hard.”

“But what kind of terms, Aaron? How far are you expecting…oh shit.��

(Read more on AO3 here!)

[lucy90712]

Georgenotfound- cooking stream

wc- 1920

~ George woke me up this morning at around 9am which is unusual for him he is never up at this time let alone waking me up for anything other than for me to join his stream. I knew exactly why he was waking me up as well because today he is doing a cooking stream and he wanted my help.

We had already rented an airbnb so that people couldn't work out where we lived and now today we had to get ingredients and move his set up over to the airbnb for the stream. I told George to decide what he wanted to make and I would look up recipes and make a list of ingredients because I just knew that he would do something wrong and the stream would turn out awful, I also had a backup plan that I haven't told George about just incase things go south.

I was still recovering from my sleeping state when the warm covers were ripped off my body and I was pulled forcefully from the comfortable mattress underneath me by my own boyfriend. What a traitor. He dragged me somewhere else in the house I wasn't quite sure where because my eyes were still adjusting to being open and needing to be used but I soon worked out we were in the kitchen and George was getting breakfast for the both of us.

"You know you could have just asked me to get up instead of dragging me out of bed" I said

"I know but thats no fun and plus I never get to wake you up so I thought I'd have fun with it" he replied

Classic George. Any chance he gets he will try and annoy me or make fun of me for some reason but I love me him so I deal with it. He got two bowls from the cupboard and poured cereal into them as well as some milk and giving me one of the bowls without a spoon but I moved past that after all it was early morning and George doesn't function at that time.

I went into the cutlery draw and got two spoons for us because George had yet to realise he was going to have to eat his cereal with his hands. I found him sat at the table that we have looking around clearly wondering where he had put the spoon he was sure he had grabbed.

I decided to play a little bit of a prank on him by putting his spoon somewhere random in the room and sat down with mine to make him even more concerned. He looked at me and the look on his face was priceless he was so bamboozled about what he'd done.

"Are you alright?" I asked

"No I can't remember where I put my spoon" he said

"Wow you really aren't a morning person are you" I said

He looked at me as I got up and walked over to where I put the spoon and grabbed it giving it to him.

"Did I seriously put it over there?" He asked

"No you never even got them out the draw so I'll let you decided if thats better or worse" I said

We ate breakfast together before George went to shower and I got dressed for the day because I showered last night. George had told me that he got outfits for us for the actual stream so I didn't bother getting dressed up in any way I just put on some leggings and one of George's hoodies that I took from his wardrobe. Sometimes he gets annoyed at me when I steal his favourite hoodies but this one is one of his many versions of his merch so he won't be too annoyed at me.

George came out the shower as I was doing my makeup and he grabbed his grey merch hoodie that he wears all the time so we would be matching today. He didn't seem to notice at first but as soon as he was ready he came over to sit with me as I finished off my makeup like he often does and that was when he properly looked at me.

"Did you steal my hoodie?" He asked

"Yes I did what are you going to do about it?" I said

"Nothing because you look cute in it" he said

I smiled at him and he took my hand to take me out the door to go to the shops and get everything that he needed for his stream. George never let go of my hand the whole car ride and the whole time at the shops, he can be very affectionate when he wants to be like some days he won't want to let go of me and other days he will be so consumed with work that we barely talk. Today's stream is going to be difficult if he's this attached to me but we'll work it out.

While getting all of the things we needed someone came up to George while I was further up the isle getting the right spices. George can get kind of awkward around fans in real life but then he gets even more nervous when he's with me even though the fans know he just finds it weird for people to see us out together.

I left him to talk to the fan and just looked at the wall of various spices that really meant nothing to me but I didn't want George to feel too awkward. That was until I looked over and he had a look of desperation so I walked over to him and he put his arm around my waist, he squeezed me slightly for reassurance. He used me as an excuse to stop the conversation he was having and the fan left us alone.

He told me all about the interaction and said it was super awkward because they didn't really know who he was just recognised him and was asking all sorts of personal questions he wasn't comfortable answering.

After leaving the shop we went home to get most of George's set up before heading to the air bnb to set everything up ready for later. George went into the house while I sat in the car mainly because he said he didn't need my help.

We spent a good few hours setting everything up and starting testing streams to see if everything was working and if camera angles were good. Once it was all ready George went to get the outfits he had brought for us, he handed me mine and I went to put it on. He had got me a proper chef top with buttons and everything and some black leggings to wear with it as well as a chef hat of course.

George started his stream without me so that I could watch it just incase something had broken in the time between when we finished setting it up and now. When I decided that everything was working fine I went into the kitchen to go and join him and get this thing started.

"Chat we also have a special guest this stream" he said

I walked into the view of the camera and the chat started spamming my name and this ship name they have given me and George which kind of doesn't work but they like it so we go with it.

"Hey chat" I said

We got on with cooking and George grabbed what we needed and started preparing things as I read the instructions to him. He did keep getting distracted by various different things and people that were calling him but we managed to do most of it in the end.

First we made mozzarella sticks which was pretty easy and then we moved onto cooking a steak and making chips which wasn't as easy. I offered to cook the steak because I didn't trust George but he wouldn't let me incase I hurt myself which I thought was funny because if anyone was going to get hurt it was him.

Anyway the both of us survived that and frying the mozzarella sticks which was more dangerous and then we got made fun of by Sapnap, dream, bbh and Quackity for calling crepes pancakes even though they are pancakes. (I will not be taking criticism on this) they kept insisting that what we were making wasn't pancakes but we held strong with our argument and won in the end with the help of the British viewers in chat.

When everything was made and we had tried it all we just kind of stood about talking to dream who was the only one left in the call. By now George couldn't bare to be away from me any longer so he put his arm around me and pulled me into his chest, he was not about to let go anytime soon so I gave in and put my head into his chest settling in.

Dream got George to follow his instructions he gave him which involved taking off his hat and headphones then he told him to mess up his hair, as soon as he said this I knew what he was doing and I appreciated it. George always styles his hair when he gets up but I love it when its messy although he never leaves it like that.

George messed up his hair and then went to the sink to get it wet and then messed it up more, he looked so good like that I almost got scared that his stream would see me blushing over just how hot he looked.

"What? I've never seen your hair like that" dream said

"I mean I like your messy hair" I said

"Wait you like it?" George asked

"Yeah of course I do" I said

"Well I guess I'm doing my hair like this from now on" he said

I smiled ruffling up his hair more to make it look exactly how I like it which his chat also appreciated, they were loving this just as much as I was. George ended his stream after like 4 hours making it just past 11pm. We packed up all of George's set up and cleaned the place before starting the drive back home.

By the time we got boys back home I was super tired but I had promised George that I would help him take all of his stuff back inside and set it back up which was going to take a while and I was not looking forward to it.

It took us two hours to set everything back up, I thought I was tired before but now I was exhausted I could barely move I just wanted to be in bed asleep. I tried to get up from my position on the floor but my legs were too weak so George had to pick me up and carry me to our bedroom where he put me down on the bed and chucked a hoodie at my face for me to wear. I got into the covers and pulled them up to just under my chin getting comfy as George got in too placing his arm over me and hugging me from behind which is how we normally sleep. My eyes gradually got heavier as George whispered things into my ear until I couldn't keep them open anymore and sleep took over.

[cheeriecherry]

hi!! how are you? can you write for baku, deku, & todo where they meet their s/o family for the first time & they’re super scary? they’re all super tall, buff, full of tattoos, loud, aggressive, mean & the fam is super overprotective over s/o & the 3 are just freaking out bc s/o is the opposite? s/o is super sweet, calm, bubbly & short so the last thing they were expecting was this & they’re just freaking out & trying to get on their s/o’s family good side? sorry if that sounds complicated 😭

The more specific the ask, the better! I’ll see what my brain can come up with, I’ve just had couch medicine so

Requests are temporarily closed so I can catch up on them!

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

-Loud boi isn’t gonna let anyone know that he’s intimidated.

-He’s already a little nervous to meet your family for the first time, though he’d never admit it. You were so hesitant to ask him to come over, and at first he thought it was because he was the loud and aggressive one.

-But that Saturday afternoon when he walks up to your house and your dad answers the door, he’s like ‘oh’ and it all clicks into place.

-He loves you a lot, so he wants to make a good impression, but he also never backs down from a challenge. So he and your dad have a stare down in the doorway, until you stroll around the corner and see them.

-You scold your dad and tell him to stop being rude to your boyfriend. Your dad doesn’t say anything, but he sighs and lets Bakugou in.

-The fun doesn’t stop there, though. You tug Bakugou around the house from room to room introducing him to your family, and every single one of them gives him the same cold, mildly threatening stare.

-Ngl your uncle who lives in the basement apartment kinda scares him, but he doesn’t say anything and tries to play it cool. The guy is built like a brick house and covered head to toe in intricate tattoos.

-He doesn’t mention it, but you can tell that your boyfriend is wondering about potential ties you have to the mafia, with a guy like that living in your house. But you assure him it’s just your uncle’s quirk that gives him the art on his skin, and that he’s actually pretty shy about it and doesn’t like going out.

-The last person he meets is your mom. With everyone being so much taller and physically stronger than you, he assumes that your mom is gonna be the person you got your tiny genes from.

-Lol no

-She’s at least six feet tall, and without a doubt the most intimidating person in the house. She’s got the face of an angel and the grace of a butterfly, but behind her smile Bakugou can see the willingness to kill anyone who hurts her baby (you).

-Lunch with the fam is a little awkward at first, until your younger cousin goads Bakugou into a spice eating contest. Then the shouting at the table begins, everyone placing their bets on who they think will win. You’re the only one who bets on your boyfriend, and you get like a hundred collective bucks out of your family members when he wins.

-He’s earned the respect of your cousin, who’s like eight maybe and now deems Bakugou a respectable opponent. Bakugou is torn between yelling and patting the kid on the head, so he probably does both and shouts at the kid to keep practicing so they can try and beat him one day.

-At the end of the visit, your boyfriend is surprisingly calm. You’re walking him home, arm in arm, not really saying much. Though you do tell him that he’s taking your living situation pretty well.

-He’s like wdym? And you explain to him that most of your friends and potential partners are scared of your family and refuse to come over because of them.

-Bakugou just scoffs and is like ‘of course they are, because they’re chicken shits. As if I’d be scared of a bunch of-’ and he pauses because you start laughing, not at him, just about the situation.

-Your family actually really likes him and find him a suitable boyfriend for you. They know you’re strong, but they want someone who can protect you and who’s loyal to you, and they see that in Bakugou. They probably invite him to the next family gathering.

MIDORIYA IZUKU

-A nervous boi

-He wants so badly to make a good impression on your family, to get their approval of your relationship. He knows you’re close with them, so he doesn’t want their potential opinions of him to sway your desire to be with him.

-He dresses casually but tidy, and while he waits at the door he fiddles with his shirt a bit.

-Almost has a heart attack when your sister opens the door and glares down at him with the rage of 1000 suns.

-He does his best to introduce himself formally and be polite, but your sister is making it awfully hard for him to stay focused. She doesn’t say anything to him, so he just continues chattering until he’s off on a tangent and saying way too much.

-And you’re like ‘I feel my boyfriend danger senses tingling’ so you go downstairs and lo and behold. 

-Ofc he’s not in any actual danger, just the danger of making a fool of himself. You set a hand on your sister’s arm, and the moment you do it’s like all the anger in her body dissipates and she turns into a sweet, smiling bean. Then she skips away to go do her homework.

-You pull Midoriya inside and give him a once-over anyways, just to make sure your sister didn’t burn holes in him with her glares. But he assures you he’s alright, and he’s a lot more relaxed now that you’re around.

-Probably says something like ‘I can see why you were so nervous about bringing me to your house, your older sister seems really protective of you’

-and you’re like ‘um,,,,actually she’s my younger sister’ and he’s like ‘wot’ and you’re like ‘also she’s the least scary of everyone’ and he’s like ‘wOT’

-You waste no time parading him from room to room to show him off, all while his soul slowly escapes his body.

-Your parents actually scare him the least, like, of course they’re protective of you, but they have the common courtesy not to exaggerate their scary qualities. They still tower over both you and Midoriya, but they’re mostly civil in terms of interactions.

-Your older brothers scare him a little bit more. They share the basement suite, so you drag your boyfriend downstairs to introduce them all to each other...and interrupt their poker game with their friends.

-All of them have some kind of tattoo visible, nothing Midoriya recognizes as any gang symbol, but he’s still wary. However, he manages to say hello and all the pleasantries, and actually gets a smile out of one of your brothers, who tries to rope him into a game of cards.

-Thankfully you save him with the excuse that you still have more family to show him off to, but he’s left with the promise of ‘later, then’.

-Lastly is your sister, who he’s technically already met. She’s arguably the scariest of everyone. She’s easily almost six feet tall and looks like she could bench press the two of you with ease. You promise him that she’s a literal sweet pea, but when the two of you walk up to her room, Midoriya isn’t so sure.

-She glares at him hard, like she’s judging him about everything and if he doesn’t pass she’ll snap him in half. He has to swallow the lump in his throat, and quickly looks around the room for some kind of thing to ask about that might get her to open up.

-And he sees it. One of the rarer All Might figures from an old merch line, one that he also has, so he’s like ‘do you like All Might’ and it’s like a switch is flipped.

-You breathe a sigh of relief as the two of them start nerding out about their favourite hero, sprouting facts and recalling films and old news videos. When he mentions that All Might teaches at his school, your sister honest to god squeals, and starts asking all kinds of questions about what kind of teacher he is, what he’s learned, what it’s like to be a protogee of such a great hero. He answers everything with glee, all his former fears forgotten.

-When it comes time for dinner, your sister insists that your boyfriend sit next to her, which is apparently a very high honor because one of your brothers sulks off to the other end of the table. (You assure your brother later that it’s just temporary and that your sister just really likes your boyfriend).

-But seeing the two of them interact warms your heart, it’s usually hard for your sister to make friends because she’s so intimidating, so you’re glad they’re getting along. And so does the rest of your family! They see Midoriya’s kindness and hardworking attitude, and they warm up to him pretty quickly.

-It ends up being a really enjoyable night, despite the rocky start. Though sadly yes your boyfriend does eventually get roped into a game of poker, and yes your brother’s cheat, but you cheat too, and you’re all betting in chocolate coins. You share your hoard with him.

TODOROKI SHOUTO

-He goes into it being not nervous, and ends up being Quite nervous once he meets your family.

-When he arrives, you’re thankfully the one to answer the door, so he doesn’t get hassled, so everything seems pretty normal right off the bat. Until your cousin walks through the room and is like ‘???? who’s this pipsqueak???’ and Todoroki is torn between being his usual snarky self and being polite.

-He wats to throw shade right back, but for your sake he wants to make a good impression. You’re used to his manners (or lack thereof) but he doesn’t want your family to think he’s not worthy of you. He really loves you a lot and wants to stay with you.

-So he goes for a formal introduction, even going in for a handshake. It’s kind of funny, because your cousin is like ‘lol what are manners’ but your glare forces him to return the gesture. His hand completely dwarfs your boyfriend’s, and you have to hide a snicker.

-And then the guy awkwardly wanders out of the room.

-You and Todoroki kind of just stand there for a second, and then he’s like ‘is this what you meant when you said your family was intimidating’ and you’re like ‘:3′

-You give him a tour of the house, a nice modest place with traditional aspects. It’s nowhere near as big as his, but he like it that way, it makes the place more homey and warm.

-You introduce him to family members as you come across them; your younger twin nuisances cousins, who are more mischievous than dangerous, your aunt and her wife, who look like they could get away with murder, your brother and his friends, who mostly only glare at Todoroki to try and make him uncomfortable.

-Thankfully he’s used to the stoic and slightly scary expressions, thanks to his dad. He wonders momentarily if you’re safe here, but then he realizes that everyone in the house is especially kind to you, and very affectionate when they think he’s not looking. He doesn’t even bother asking the question.

-Lastly are your parents, who are in the kitchen preparing dinner. They’re a little perturbed that you’re both in the kitchen when they’re working, but they seem to be less purposefully intimidating than everyone else. They’re still a little scary though.

-Then he notices that your parents are making soba. From scratch. Which is particularly difficult to master, so he figures they must be pretty well practiced if they’re so good at it.

-Without thinking, he asks if they’ve made soba before, and soon your parents are sprouting off about their culinary careers and the restaurant they run. You were supposed to take over one day, but you ultimately chose a different path in life, even after they taught you so much.

-Todoroki didn’t even realize you could cook, but now he wants more than anything to try your meals someday, or learn a few things from you and make dinners together.

-It startles him a little that he’s thinking so far ahead in your lives, but honestly if you’ve managed to get him as a boyfriend then you’re likely to have him for your whole life, if you want him.

-He talks a little more with your parents about the food, expressing in his way that he’s looking forward to a dinner that’s had so much hard work go into it. And you can see the little light go on in your parents’ heads, the light that signals they approve of your choice in boyfriend and have started making room in their hearts for him.

-Dinner is nice, pretty peaceful aside from your twin cousins causing their usual trouble, but he’s nonplussed by it. he still wonders how you managed to come out so small in comparison to everyone else, but it doesn’t bother him too much. He can see that you’re loved and well cared for, and a little piece of him hopes that one day he’ll be able to get to know your family even better.

[sunnysviolin]

I'm stuck in suntan mode. I saw someone else do this but Sunny shows up during one of Kel's games fully dressed up in Kel's team's merch and silently cheers for Kel's team. He isn't the loudest fan but Kel noticed him right away when Sunny first joined the crowd during his games.

Less suntan mode, the whole gang showed up to one of Kel's games and cheered him on tho Aubrey kinda had to be dragged there by Hero. Hero and Basil would also be wearing some merch like Sunny tho idk if they could get Aubrey to join them.

I feel Kel would feel more pumped to play his best either way with his friends being there to cheer him on. Later, he teases Aubrey for being awkward out there.

I”M LATE FULL SUNTAN FULL TIME......I APPRECIATE THIS ASK AND IVE BEEN LOOKING AT IT EVERY DAY

This is so cute I don’t even have anything to add to it because it’s perfect right the way it is. Take some Suntan headcanons to add on, because honestly HeroMari is my main ship but Suntan is a close second......Shhhh I like it better than Sunnflower. ALSO I got really into writing this, so I may do something full with this soon! I’m in a crunch time right now because I’m getting ready to go back to school tomorrow, but! When I’m settled 👀

Sunny is the one who asks Kel out

This is highly unexpected and most people don’t think this, but let me be the one to say this. Kel confesses his feelings first, but Sunny is the one who asks Kel out

Here’s how it goes down: When they go to college, Sunny and Kel are roommates. 

Sunny was originally a good student but after four years of shoddy homeschool and barely learning, he is only able to pull his grades up to slightly below average. He goes to a good state college, but it’s nothing impressive. 

Kel find out he’s being offered a scholarship to play basketball at the same school and chooses to go there because he wants to be near Sunny

In the years after Sunny told them the truth, the five of them slowly came back together. It was harder for the rest, but Kel accepted Sunny back into his life with a familiar ease. Maybe it was spending those last three days together, seeing how broken Sunny had become. Kel didn’t want to punish Sunny anymore, Sunny was punishing himself enough 

So they become roommates ((Oh my god they were roommates)) and it’s nice. They decide to get an apartment off campus to save some money, and it’s a little hole in the wall place where the radiator is too loud and there’s water stains on the ceiling, but they love it. 

Kel cooks and Sunny cleans, and they have a good system. They invite the others to come visit, and they do 

Basil went to a college not too far away, and Hero comes down to see them on the occasional weekend. Aubrey is the hardest to reach because she went out of state for school, but she calls often and when her school is on break but theirs isn’t she comes to stay

But normally it’s just Kel and Sunny. 

Sunny has healed a lot since his days as a teen, but there’s no way he would ever fully be over Mari’s death. There are days where his eyes get glazed over and he’s even more quiet than normal. Kel makes them hot chocolate and they sit and watch the world go by from their drafty windows. At night when Sunny wakes up screaming for his sister, Kel rushes into his room and they sit on the bed hugging and waiting for the moment to pass.  

It happens on one of those nights. Kel wakes up to hear Sunny shrieking for Mari, and he jumps out of bed. 

He holds Sunny in his arms until the shaking stops, and then he leads them both into the living room. he puts on the TV low for some white noise and sits and waits. Sunny is sittiing up with his arms wrapped around himself staring at their coffee table intensely. 

Kel waits. 

That night Sunny lets slip the truth- He still hates himself. 

He still thinks of himself as a monster, as a terrible person who doesn’t deserve anything good. Sunny can’t understand how the others forgave him, why Hero can stand to talk to him, how Aubrey can look him in the eye

Most of all he can’t understand Kel. 

Kel takes care of him all the time in every way, and Sunny can’t understand why. Doesn’t Kel see he doesn’t deserve that? He killed Mari. He’s the reason his beautiful perfect big sister is dead. 

Why does Kel care about him? Why does he do all of the things that he does for Sunny? Why can Kel forgive him when Sunny can’t even really forgive himself? 

By the end Sunny is heaving with every breath and pulling at his hair 

Kel doesn’t immediately answer. There is nothing he could say that would take away the pain Sunny is going through. 

Truthfully he doesn’t know the answer anyway. He thinks about the two of them, their intertwined lives and how complicated it’s all become. It all feels muddled, but there has to be a simple answer for why he does everything he does for Sunny. Why he was able to forgive him so easily. 

The answer comes to him in a ridiculously simple way. It’s been the truth for Kel since they were little- when Sunny seemed to be the only person in the world who understood Kel’s life. 

Why do I care about him? 

Kel stands up, takes Sunny’s face in his hands, and presses a gentle kiss to the other boy’s forehead. Sunny’s cheeks are cold, but Kel feels them warm in a blush as he pulls back to look Sunny in the eyes. 

“That’s why,” 

The next morning Kel wakes up and Sunny is already awake. He pours a bowl of cereal for himself, and sits next to Sunny on their couch. Their shoulders brush, and both boys startle at the sensation, pulling away just a little bit. 

Sunny asks him to dinner before Kel finishes breakfast

[jaswolfwriting]

Gamer! Denki x Reader

~First Request! Thank you so much for requesting, I accidentally replied privately and I didn’t realize that’d delete the request but yeah!~

Summary: Denki meets your parents only to find out that your mom is the creator of his favorite video game.

Word count: 1,625

Warnings: None!~

“Hey Denki,” You walk up to your boyfriend from behind while he’s playing one of his favorite games, wrapping your arms around him from behind.

“Oh, hey babe.” He greets you, His golden eyes still fixated intently on the screen, a battle scene playing out. You smile softly, watching his tactics.

After the confrontation ends, he places his controller beside him, and turns around to face you. His strong arms wrap around you and he kisses your cheek, his soft blonde hair tickling your forehead.  

“So that’s the... fourth game in the Battlecraze series right..?” You ask, a smile plastered on your face while acting as if you had no clue, though really you did.

“Yep!” He exclaims, and explains all the battles and events with excitement in his voice, his eyes bright.

You listen to him explain the entire plot, watching his hand gestures as he rambles on.

“Oh, Speaking of which... isn’t the fifth game coming out in a few months?” You tap your chin, acting clueless.

“Yeah!” His eyes sparkle “It’s gonna be amazing, they’re even adding more characters! One even has a electricity power!”

“Wow! That’s awesome!” You go along with it, not wanting to ruin any surprises. “Dinner’s ready if you’re hungry.”

You hum as you hand Denki a plate of macaroni and cheese a little while later. You sit beside him, dragging your hands through your hair. 

“Ah, Y/n! Thanks!” His eyes light up at the dinner you made, although it wasn’t much. “Oh! Also, We are eating dinner at your parents’ place tomorrow, yeah?” He asks, his mouth full.

“Yeah, we are.” You chuckle at your boyfriend’s excitement.

“I’m so pumped to meet them!” Denki’s signature smile creeps onto his face as his honey eyes shine. 

After you two finish cleaning up after dinner, he drags you to the Livingroom. He plops down onto one of the two bean bags, and holds out a controller to you.

“Pleeease?” You couldn’t refuse after seeing the puppy eyes he was giving you.

“Fine,” You mutter, grabbing the controller and plopping down beside him as he switches the game to a multiplayer setting. 

The two of you play late into the night, up until you notice Denki’s character not doing anything. You smile softly as you look over to see him curled up as deep breaths escape his lips. 

You walk over to his sleeping figure and gently remove the controller from his hand, setting it on the coffee table along with yours. You grab a blanket draped over the couch and place it over him, running a hand through his hair, you kiss his forehead. 

After changing into pajamas, you get into the bed, longing for the next day to come. 

“Morning Love!~” You groggily open your eyes to see your lover standing above you. “I made breakfast!”

“mmm,” You groan, rubbing your tired eyes as Kaminari looked at you with pure adoration. His blond hair was messy from sleep and his t-shirt was wrinkled as he held his hand out to you. 

You grip his hand, and pull yourself out from the warmth of your blankets. He leads you to the kitchen where a lovely breakfast awaited you. 

“Taadaa!” He chuckles, gesturing to the table.

“Wow, you must’ve worked so hard on this,” a smirk comes across your face as you plop down into a chair. “Why are you up so early anyway?”

“Eh, I just couldn’t sleep.” He scoops the cereal (that he worked ever so hard on making) into his mouth.

“Huh, ok.” You check the time, and your eyes widen. “It’s 1 in the afternoon!”

“I was wondering when you’d notice,” he bursts into laughter while you groan at him.

“Alright well I’m gonna go get ready.” You mutter, dragging your feet to your shared bedroom.

You browse your closet and find an outfit to suit the occasion. It’s a darker shade of clothing, and it’s a bit formal, but not too formal. You smile at your selection, and enter the bathroom. After taking a nice shower, you put the clothes on and blow-dry your hair. You fix yourself up a bit more, and go over to Denki.

“Wow...” He looks over at your stunning body in awe. “You look incredible!”

“Thank you!” You peck his cheek gently, straightening his golden tie. “I must say, you look pretty good yourself,” You smirk, scanning his body up and down. He is wearing a black shirt, matching the color of his suit. His tie brings out Denki’s eye color.

“Alright,” You say, stepping out of the car you took to your childhood home. “Here we are!”

You tap lightly on the door, and not two minutes later a familiar face opens the door.

“Y/n, darling! It’s marvelous to see you!” Your father scoops you into his arms, pulling you into a tight hug. After he pulls away, he meets Denki’s gaze. “And you must be Mr.Kaminari.”

“Y-yes sir, I am!” Denki’s confidence seemed to leave the poor boy.

“Well, welcome to the family!” Your dad hugs your boyfriend, who is shocked by the gesture, carefully hugging your father back. You smile at the scene unfold.

The three of you enter your former home, and you inhale a delicious aroma as you enter the kitchen. 

“Here, let me go get your mother.” Your dad exits the room, soon coming back with a woman, a large smile plastered on her face.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t hear the doorbell! I was working on a big project!” She runs up to you and Kaminari, engulfing the both of you in a hug.

“It’s alright, mom! I know how busy you can get.” You hug her back.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” Denki formally greets to which she smiles.

“It’s wonderful to meet you as well, but don’t act so formal! Just be yourself!” She places a hand on his shoulder. “You know, Y/n never stops talking about you.”

“Mom!” You scoff, a blush coming across your face.

“Alright everyone!” A yell comes from the dining room, “Dinner’s ready!”

The three of you go into the dining room, looking at the delicious dinner that your father had prepared.

“Wow! This looks amazing!” Denki gasps as everyone begins filling their plate.

The dinner that your father had prepared was gone in what seemed like an instant because of how quickly everyone was devouring it.

“Alright! It seems like everyone enjoys my cooking! I’m so glad! Now, I’ll be cleaning the kitchen if anyone needs me,” He winks over at you, knowing fully what you and your mother had been planning to do.

“Alright Denki, My lovely (son/daughter) and I have a surprise for you.” She stands, and walks into her work office. You smile and give a nod to Denki, and he follows your mother.

As he enters the room, his amber eyes widen. The office had two portions to it; the merch room, and the game manufacturing room. The Game Manufacturing room had light colored walls with Battlecraze posters lining the walls. Many shelves held figurines on display. All Kaminari could do was stare. His Body was frozen, his eyes however darted around the room with a mixture of awe and utter shock.

“I-I,” He gasps “W-what? How do you have so much merch?! This is awesome!” He turns to your mother, large grins plastered on their faces.

“Well, actually...” She smiles “Y/n didn’t want to tell you, we wanted it to be a surprise... I am the creator of the Battlecraze series.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you earlier,” You start, but Denki cuts you off.

“I- It’s fine! Wow, that’s...” His eyes tear up, and he hugs me and my mother. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you..” are the only words he can get out.

After a few minutes of Denki’s shock, your mother smiles. 

“Well... I need to ask you a question, about the newest character?” She gestures him over to his computer, opening a few files.

“Oh! That’s the electricity powered character, right? I can’t wait for the reveal about them!”

“Speaking of the reveal,” she clicks on an image, and when it pops up, it’s a 3-d animated character. He looks identical to Denki. “Y/n and I wanted to make this character in honor of you.”

“And! We are wondering if we can use your name...” I nervously fidget with my hands.

“R-really?!” He stammers his response “Y-yeah! I would love that!”

“Perfect!” Your mother pipes in, “How would you like to test the new game for me?”

“Yes please I would love to!!!” He exclaims as your mother hands a controller to the both of you, leaving to the merch room.

After test running the new game for awhile, your mother returns with a few large boxes.

“Denki, I packed you up some of our merch! I made sure to add all of the exclusive and collectables too!” She stacks the boxes by the door.

Denki, who is amazed and overwhelmed, runs up to your mother to give her a hug and thank her.

“No need to thank me! We are family after all,” your mothers eyes meet yours, and she sends you a wink. You feel your face redden. 

When you arrive back at your house, Denki begins setting up all of his new posters and figurines around the room, a large smile plastered across his face.

“Your mom is amazing!” He exclaims, rushing over to you. “But, more importantly, I’m so glad they accept me... I was so nervous!”

“Aww, I’m glad you like them,” you giggle at him, pulling him into your arms.

“I love them. and I love you.” He pecks your cheek softly, his arms around your waist.

~Please leave suggestions so that I know what you want to see! I really need some requests!~

[freckledoriya]

Can I request a pro hero Bakugou scenario where he goes over to his crush's house, also a hero and sees that his crush has a bunch of really dumb hero merch, even some of his. Crush has a hobby of finding the oddest things that everyone's hero names gets slapped onto like cooking utensils or flower pots (whatever dumb thing, you name it) or maybe a ground zero blanket that's the softest thing ever that they sleep with. Maybe on insta they joke they're sleeping with him--the blanket form

i loved this, anon! huge thanks to @gallickingun for lending me her bakugou writing-expertise (some of this is her writing!); i’d be lost without her 😭

request more HERE

PAIRING: bakugou x reader

WARNINGS: language, mentions of alcohol, a lil steamy but nothing nsfw

WORD COUNT: 1.1k 

When it came to collecting hero memorabilia, you’re what your crush Bakugou would call a “damn fuckin’ nerd.”

You couldn’t help it. You loved the rush of finding a vintage All Might themed toaster oven or adding to your collection of Miss Midnight glass perfume bottles. Oh, and of course the thrill of scoring a new addition to your growing bobblehead collection of all of Earth’s best heroes. Even though you were a hero yourself, someone who actually knew a lot of the heroes whose merch you’ve hoarded over the years, you couldn’t deny your cravings. None of your hero friends knew about your collecting hobby. You made it a point to always make sure no one stepped foot in your decked-out apartment. You would never invite anyone over… until tonight.

The words just tumbled out of your mouth. Maybe it was that extra shot of vodka in your drink at the bar, or maybe just the thrill of finally flirting with your crush. Either way, the sentence “wanna come over my place?” flew from your lips and landed onto Bakugou’s ears, where it was met with a devilish grin and a quick nod yes. 

Flash forward, the two of you are side by side in a cab as you start to sober up and realize your mistake. His calloused fingertips ghosting up the side of your thigh almost makes you forget about the fact that your secret is about to be exposed. 

He’s bound to make fun of you, right? He’ll probably think you’re some kind of obsessed freak and never talk to you again.

You open your mouth to make up a lame excuse about being too tired, but then you make eye contact, his crimson irises staring right through you. You so badly want to be his. His magnetic field keeps pulling you in, and as much as you want to backtrack out of a soon-to-be unfortunate situation, the sliver of hope that he’ll understand keeps you hooked. 

But the second you step into your apartment with him and turn on the lights, you regret every action that got you to this point.

There are only mild amounts of paraphernalia scattered throughout your living room and kitchen - nothing too incriminating, but enough to let him know that you’re interested. You place your purse down on the kitchen table, dragging Bakugou’s attention to your salt shakers modeled after Best Jeanist. He plucks them off the tabletop, “Oi, what the fuck?”

If he thinks that’s weird, then he’s in for a treat if he makes it to your bedroom. 

“I got them at a thrift shop,” you manage, “I thought they were, uh, funny…?”

Bakugou replaces them where he found them, stepping behind you as you sort through your bag for your phone, your chest pressed into the bar countertop. His hands grope your waist, dipping beneath the thin fabric of your top to feel your skin. 

“Wanna show me your room?” he asks, attempting to be sultry as he kisses your shoulder, using his thick fingers to push your hair away from your neck so it’s available to his mouth. “Or do you have matching All Might shakers in there?”

You gulp but he chalks it up to the way his tongue laps against your skin. You chuckle hesitantly, turning so you can face him, “Listen, I-”

“Room, now, yeah?” He phrases it like a question but his tone of voice doesn’t lend it to be one; the alcohol making him much more forward and flirtatious than he would usually be. You lose all control when he starts kissing you, his palms sneaking underneath your top to map out the contours of your back. 

He begins to lead you down your hallway to the door he can only presume to be your bedroom. You hesitantly start to open the door, but you’re going far too slow for Bakugou’s liking. He pushes the door open, subsequently slamming you up against the wall and pinning your wrists above your head. He presses his body up against yours, readying to attack your neck with more kisses, but right before he does, his eyes catch a glimpse of the Mt. Lady poster plastered against the wall behind you. 

“Uh…” he stutters out, before starting to take in his surroundings and turning on the lights. And suddenly all is revealed: every limited edition action figure, each kitschy ceramic collectible, and of course, your precious bobblehead collection. “Damn...you like heroes a lot, don’t you?”

“It’s just a hobby!”  you spit out before the anticipated insults. “It started with only a few things but now I just can’t help collecting stuff when I see it in stores. I promise it’s not something super creepy or anything like that!”

Bakugou just nods before walking over to your action figures, his surprisingly calm and understanding reaction causing you to tilt your head in confusion.

“You think they’re true to size?” he asks, holding up one modeled after his own image. He smirks, brushing his thumb down the plastic abdomen popping with muscle, “I mean, I guess I could let you see for yourself.”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest, letting yourself relax now that you see he’s not running away. “I think they made the model for that one while you were gone. You sure Deku didn’t stand in for you?”

“Oi!” He whips around, using the action figure to point in your face like it were a stick, “I’m way fuckin’ better lookin’ than that shitty Deku. Take it back.”

“Careful with that!” you giggle, grabbing the doll out of his hands. “It’s a collectible.”

He’s still preoccupied with the figurines of himself, studying them closely as if they might start talking to him if he watches them long enough. Bakugou licks his lips before turning to you, “What do you think about the winter costume?”

“Oh,” you’re surprised by his question, but it urges you to step forward, closing in on his space, “I think it’s really flattering for you. The black long sleeves really bring out the orange in your costume.”

The prideful swell of his chest makes you wonder if he was just fishing for compliments from the beginning. A gentle pink tinge paints his cheeks and you feel your chest restrict at the sight.

“So… you don’t think I’m weird for all of this stuff?” you ask, still half expecting him to laugh in your face before leaving. “I was kinda thinking you’d make fun of me and call me a nerd.”

He scoffs at this before running his fingers through your hair. Smiling, he leans in and whispers, “Oh, I’m definitely going to make fun of you and call you a nerd, but we have more important things to do right now,” before his lips crash into yours. 

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

My So Called Rise Against Life

All lyrics written and owned by Rise Against

No band, not even AFI, sings the soundtrack of the last 20 years of my life like Rise Against has. I was dragged to my first Rise Against show by Emily. Emily, the suicide girl, quite possibly the hottest girl in Corpus Christi, barely 5'1 and 98 pounds soaking wet, covered in tattoos and with Angelina Jolie's lips. To this day I cannot imagine why a girl who looked like that wanted to hang with me. I had never been to a gig at that little club called The Underground where the disenfranchised youth of Corpus Christi congregated. This was the very cusp of my punk rock midlife crisis and I went in scared to death because I'd heard concerts of this nature were violent.

At this point I was already considering the decision to become straightedge. I was curious but knew little about it. The sum of my knowledge was this: two of the guys in AFI were, and the guy at the mall was. The memory of this guy never leaves me. Like a stray dog with a tennis ball, catching a welcoming scent on the air, then chasing after a passing stranger who never looked down, I chased after him and each year I spent in that fruitless pursuit felt like seven. His friendship I would never win, but he would remain on the outskirts of my life, like the brass ring I reached for again and again only to fall on my face. I would see him that night too, but I didn't know this when Em invited me out. It was billed as a hardcore show. I had no idea what hardcore was back then, I just assumed it meant a rough crowd of millitant straightedge vegans that would have a sixth sense that I wasn't one of them and chase me out the doors. Rise Against was headlining and an equally unknown band called Avenged Sevenfold was opening. I'd never heard of either. Emily wanted me to go and I wanted to get out of the house for the night so it wasn't that hard for her to twist my arm in the matter. I met her at her apartment which was filth ridden, with drug paraphernalia everywhere, a wall size Misfits poster that took up the entire SIDE of her apartment, and electric guitars propped next to skateboards. As she slipped out of her clothes and into something slinky much to my viewing pleasure, she pointed me to her freezer with a purloined bottle of tropical Schnapps from the liquor store she was working for. Toasting in miniature tea cups I downed the bright blue liquid. I remember it so well, the frost covered bottle, cold in my hand, the electric blueness pouring into what looked like a child's tea party set up. This wasn't the last drink I would take, that would come two months later, yet I remember every detail of the experience. Suited up in skimpiness, we were off to the races. We hauled ass in Emily's SUV and she sat behind the wheel, dwarfed by it's hugeness and her smallness, joint in hand, careening down the expressway and swerving around orange construction barrels. As we exited into the worst part of town I had ever seen I must have looked uneasy. She turned to me and proudly exclaimed "Don't worry, I know this place! I used to score crack here!" We walked in and the first person I saw was the straightedge boy, who was taking money at the door. It was a good sign of things to come. It would also mean I would completely ignore Avenged Sevenfold's set in s stupid quest to get his attention long enough to make conversation. But Em was a champ, she stayed with me through the whole thing. In fact, I don't remember having the guts to say a word. She talked to him, I watched him talking to her and twenty feet away M. Shadows was screaming his sexy, tattooed, egotistical lungs out but I was utterly oblivious. From there we went to the merch booth where Em bought me an Avenged Sevenfold poster that I kept for years on my wall before finally giving it away right on the cusp of actually starting to listen to them. She also bought me a Rise Against patch that is still on my Dickies bag today though it is nothing more than a mess of black thread. We wandered over to the PETA booth, watched some gruesome videos, signed up for mail and picked up a cookbook I would later use to make one of the mall kids a vegan birthday cake. Then Emily spied someone she knew and I followed her over, still looking suspiciously through the crowd sure someone was just going to come up and punch me for no apparent reason. Still following, I watched as she struck up a conversation with this cute guy in glasses. I politely listened in as they talked about how they haven't seen each other since Warped Tour. For the life of me I can't remember what they talked about. I was distracted by a guy that looked like Davey Havok. Their conversation muffled to a drone until the guy looked at his watch and said "Oh crap!! I need to be on

stage! I'll talk to after the show!" and it was at that moment I realized Emily had been talking to Joe Principe of Rise Against. This was our cue as well though there was already too much of a crowd to get near the front. There were maybe one hundred people there and Tim held every one in the palm of his hand. I was amazed. I had never heard them before in my life so I can't tell you the set list but I knew from that time on I wanted to hear more. At the end Emily and I waited at the stage to talk to Tim. I had no idea what to say so I just shook his hand and now I wish I had held on a little longer. Emily got a shirt signed and talked to him for a while. Again I was too preoccupied with the AFI look-alikes in the crowd that I wasn't paying much attention. To this day I wonder if the dude I thought looked like Davey was actually Zacky Vengeance. I'll never know for sure. Soon enough Joe was with us again and he and Emily were engaged in conversation when he turned to me and said "Did that hurt?" I had NO idea what he was talking about, I was too overwhelmed by his very presence. I actually thought he was pointing past me to the PETA booth and I stupidly sputtered "What KFC is doing to chickens?" I swear to god when I'm miserable and in need of cheering up sometimes all it takes to make me smile is thinking "Hey, Joe laughed at my joke." The night drew to an end, Emily went out with the band, and being married, I went home. Next to singing a line with Dave Peters of Throwdown, that first night with Rise Against was the best night of the last ten years of my life. The next time I would see Rise Against they would be back in Corpus, opening for Bad Religion. This happened during what I call "The Emo Dave Era". I met Dave because of Rise Against. He was a little emo boy wearing a Rise Against shirt, skipping school at the mall. I stopped him and asked him about it and well that was it, he just kept coming around. I would end up knowing him for five years and eventually hiring him to work for me. By the second time they came to town Siren Song of The Counterculture was out and I remember bragging to Dave that if it was any other band I would have just downloaded it, but for them I would actually spend my hard earned money. I remember DRINKING in the songs, trying so hard to memorize all of the tracks before the gig hit. I remember the second Rise Against gig for many reasons. It was the first gig I went to alone at a time I was in the grip of panic attacks whenever I had to be in wide open spaces by myself. Two of my "mall daughters" met me at the gates and stayed with me the whole night. I remember that. I remember Dave hitting the merch table before me and buying me Rise Against stickers that I regarded like they were jewels and kept them in some special place until I hid them so well I hid them from myself. Dave and I and the girls were in the front row together, and sadly none of them I am in contact with now. Not only that, but Dave and one of the girls I was up front with would end up working for me and stealing over $1300 from my business during their tenure as my employees. Years from knowing this though we happily stood side by side and sang along for the whole set. What I remember most about that second gig was standing in front of Joe and when he sang "Single file like soldiers on a mission." I saluted him and he saluted back. Tim was wearing the exact same shirt he wore at the first gig but I was probably the only one to notice it. And when Tim asked "Who was here at our first gig when only 20 people showed up?" I proudly raised my hand. All the memorizing I did was pretty much for naught because I was so excited to be in the front row I damn near forgot every word to every song, but for some reason I knew every word to 1,000 Good Intentions. The first Rise Against show was in August, I can't tell you the date of the second one. I made my commitment to becoming straightedge sometime between December and January. I don't know the exact date because I was so scared about the whole

thing I kept it to myself "You're the new revolution The angst filled adolescent You fit the stereotype well..."

.All I know for sure was that I'd been edge several months by the second Rise Against gig at Concrete Street in Corpus. he second Rise Against gig also brings to mind another phantom of my past: a girl I was close to named Amanda (not the Amanda I went to Warped Tour w/, that Amanda I've always called Di because her screen name was Dionysus). This was Amanda's first night aout after being kidnapped and raped. Her parents were druggies and didn't want the cops involved so the guys who did it just got away with it and I'd see them at the mall all the time afterward and I couldn't do shit. It was her and her big sister who met me at the gates and stayed with me all night. I loved those girls. . . . Again, digressing. From First To Last opened and we spent the whole set talking about how much they looked like AFI. I ended up leaving the gig early, going to the house of one of them who still lived with his folks, ringing the doorbell and leaving a note in the mail box that said 'YOUR SON RAPES LITTLE GIRLS----just thought you should know'. It didn't really help anything but it made me feel better. During this mindlessly courageous time I was blinded by my commitment. I jumped into being edge with a fervor reserved for things like joining the Hari Krishnas or Jehovah's Witnesses. It was a complete make over of every idea I'd ever held. I didn't know a great deal but once I found it, I knew it was all I had been looking for. The only other person I actually knew who was edge was the straightedge boy, who now had become god-like in my mind. He was the first face of straightedge for me, the ideal, the standard, the one thing I felt I had to live up to. Sadly, by this time he was long gone, moving away from the mall where we worked and on to better things. This fact only drove me forward in a Holy Grail level quest to find him. When he was there I was terrified of speaking to him and then when he wasn't I kicked myself for not having the courage. I was sure that if I did make my way to him, he could impart some knowledge, some advice that would make my whole solitary experience make sense. The soundtrack of that quest was Blood to Bleed: "Steps I take in your footsteps Aren't getting me closer to what is left of the dreams of what I once claimed to know Within my bones this resonates...." Within weeks of each other three amazing things happened: Ceci, my best friend Amanda(Dionysus) and I went to Warped Tour to see AFI and in the process saw Rise Against as well. Then The Sufferer and the Witness came out, and at the same time Jadey and Ceci came to visit me in Corpus for quite possibly the most idyllic summer of my life. It was that summer we saw Rise Against for the third time. At that Warped Tour again we were in front of Joe, and again when Tim sang "Single file like soldiers on a mission... " we saluted Joe and he saluted us back and it was like a little piece of heaven fell to earth, the moment was so perfect. The set was

short because it was Warped Tour but we didn't care. We were together, we loved each other and we sang along with every song we knew. Sufferer and Witness came out in July right in time for Warped Tour and the girls coming down for a visit. I remember this so well because I had a cd of the straightedge boy's band and it seemed so important for me to play it for Jadey and Ceci. Do you remember that line in The Lost Boys: "Now you know what we are, now you know what you are." ? That was how it felt for me, this romanticized notion that my edge was not my own and it was all owing and belonged to someone else. I wanted to be able to trace it like a family tree to say, if I had not met him I would not have found out about AFI, I would not have made my committment, we would have never met, so therefore the life and friendship we have shared has all traced back to THIS. Well, they weren't all that impressed. I have a very clear memory of us being outside the Sonic Drive In and Jadey asking me "Please turn that noise off and put in something else." That something else was the The Sufferer And The Witnessand it stayed in the player for the rest of the trip. Ready To Fall was the song that defined the next year, much later, that I made my edge my own. In my journey I had looked to so many others for advice or reassurance or validation. I did this because I didn't believe in myself. I thought I was weak and sought in others what would make me strong. Sometimes I received it, like messages sent back and forth the guys in Throwdown and the near religious experience of seeing them live all the times I have, of singing a line with Dave, shaking his hand. Most of the time though my search was in vain. I remember very clearly seeking out help online. One guy told me I would never know who I was until I went to a hardcore show. This wasn't exactly bad advice, hardcore shows had the most amazing energy flowing through them and it did feel good to be surrounded by like minded people. The only thing I really learned about myself through going to hardcore shows was that if God had wanted me to hardcore dance, He would not have given me boobs. There was another guy who told me only the most insecure person would EVER wear a straightedge shirt out in public and if you were sincere about it, you'd keep it to yourself. I thought that guy was nuts. The whole POINT of being edge to me was proving I was not like the idiots around me. "With your eyes Glazed and half-smiled Explain to me the details of your God-given right You point your finger In my face but You can't remember what you did last night" I asked another guy what to do if I was tempted to drink again and he told me if I was tempted I was never really straightedge to begin with and I should just do the scene a favor and kill myself already. Then there were the kids that thought I was just the bees knees and were coming to ME for advice. I had no idea what to tell these kids, but I wasn't about to tell them not to wear sXe gear or kill themselves. Because of my own search for answers I refused to turn any kid away. One day they were telling me I was their hero and begging for advice, the next they were telling me I was out of my mind and to get lost. It took a good four years before I learned not to believe them in either case. "This could be my great awakening But how would I know when it's all noise to me? Are these words falling on deaf ears?" Right in the middle of this I had the good fortune to meet a guy named Chris X from Philly. He neither worshipped nor ignored me. He was simply THERE. I have the most vivid memory of this one morning. I had the same dream about the straightedge boy only this time I stepped out and stopped him and asked him if the hormones levels in milk made people more aggressive the way steroids did and asked if I should stop drinking it. Why this popped into my head I will never know. As usual the alarm rang before the blurry form opened his mouth and imparted wisdom. I woke up at 5 am and suddenly HAD to know

the answer to the question. It happened that Chris X was up too. I contacted him and he took the time out of his morning to discuss this with me completely out of the blue. I don't know why this sticks out in my memory but it does: Him being up at five am and taking an hour out of his morning to answer some moronic question from a girl he didn't know and being so nice about it. He is still edge, we are still friends and he is still there when I need him. He is the exception to the rule. Friends fell away and I remained steadfast, yet alone. Slowly though there came the time when I realized I needed to look no further than in the mirror. It wasn't like this was a new thing. I was told this many times and yet I never believed it. Right about this time Rise Against released Ready To Fall: "But here in this moment like the eye of the storm It all came clear to me I found a shoulder to lean on An infallible reason to live all by itself I took one last look from the heights that I once loved And then I ran like hell" The heights I once loved were ego driven, the compulsion to wear a straightedge shirt every day and X's for every gig and dare anyone to tell me otherwise. It was that romanticized notion of my edge,--that it hadn't been mine and all I was, was owed to someone else. It was as if I believed someone had physically stood between me and a fridge full of alcohol that first year and kept me from it. Or that someone had been there to comfort me when my husband was drunk or in a bad mood and was calling me names or throwing me around because I dared come home with a book of Marxist writing or simply did not shut up and go along or renounce my beliefs. I healed myself, I comforted myself and I did almost all of it completely alone. It was slow in dawning but it finally came to me that I was the only one I had to inspire or impress, and my own approval was all I needed. This revelation was scored by every track on Sufferer and Witness. The fourth time I saw Rise Against, I met Ceci in Austin to see them at Stubb's. Stubb's BBQ is a grand place to see any band because if you get there early enough, you can have lunch on the balcony while watching the band's sound check. We found this out the first time we went there, seeing The Rollins Band open up for X. Going to the Rise Against show I told myself "It's not big deal, I've seen them three times before, I'm just going to kick back and eat and enjoy the sound check" but as soon as Tim and Joe took the stage I could barely consume a thing I was so overwhelmed. As we waited in line after lunch for the doors to reopen, I met Ceci's brother Jordan who is, wildly enough, still my friend. Jordan. He hovers on the edges of my life, always there with a kind word whether I actually deserved it or not. He is the only good thing to come out of my friendship with Ceci. Evergreen Terrace opened that show and we were right in front of the guy in the Straightedge Soldier tshirt and that and a brilliant cover of "Mad World" was all I remembered of their set. Circa Survive came on next and Ceci and I took turns booing them and flipping them off. Not that they were necessarily bad, but we were in no mood to entertain the mopey emo set at that point. Soon we were all piled together up front, again in front of Joe. I didn't get to salute him at that gig. Ceci's arms were too tightly around me. Ceci, her girlfriend Grace, Jordan and my husband were tangled in a sea of arms, so tightly that I wasn't sure of whose hand I was holding most of the night. Though by that time I was perfectly comfortable in my commitment, Blood to Bleed still only reminded me of one person and Ceci knew this. I felt she understood me then, I felt she was one of the very few who knew me best. Beside me was my husband, but in my heart was a dream of someone else, of someone who shared my commitment and my ideals, a dream of an idea more than a person, the perfect guy/relationship/life I would never have. Two months later I would find out my husband was seeing a girl from work

that had got him hooked on heroin. Two months later he would come to where I worked and attack me in front of multiple witnesses and when called, the police would do nothing. Two months later I would sit sobbing in the back of a police car because I was too afraid to go into my own apartment and get my things. When responding to my call the enormous officer would glare down at me and say "Why are you afraid to walk in your own home? Are you on drugs or are you just retarded?" Instead of accompanying me inside to get my things they would search me for drugs. Two months later I would realize why Henry Rollins hated cops so much. Two months later. after ten years together, I would leave my husband. I did not know any of this then. All I knew was that in that instant my heart was bleeding inside of me for want of some friendship I would never have, the one thing I believed would make my life complete. It was that friendship, that idea of a person, of perfection, of everything I wanted myself and my life to be, that seemed like the holy grail of the second part of my life. Looking back, maybe it held value only because it was unobtainable. I had not yet learned to find it in myself so I sought it so furiously in a stranger. So, with the ridiculously angelic vision of the first straightedge boy I ever met in my head, and my unfaithful husband beside me, in that crowd at Stubb's, Rise Against tore into Blood To Bleed. It was our first time to hear it live together as they had not played it at Warped Tour. Ceci looked down at me, wrapped her arms around me and held me tight because she knew exactly who I was thinking of and why. As she held on to me with one hand and ran a hand through my hair, we both screamed out those lyrics that had haunted me and driven me on for years. "This place rings with echos of lives once lived, but now are lost Times spent wondering about tomorrow I don't care if we lose it all tonight Up in flames, burning bright.... Within my bones this resonates Boiling blood will circulate Could you tell me again what you did this for?" And just like I was blind to what was about to erupt with my husband I was just as blind to time bomb ticking inside of Ceci that would turn her into a complete stranger the next time we met, at the very same place it would turn out. Had I known that this was the last time she would hold my hand and sing with me and look down on me with love and empathy in her eyes, I would not have wasted my sorrow in grieving for a friendship that never was and instead would have known to grieve for the real friendship I was losing. I should have grieved for hers, but in retrospect, it was no more real than the idea of the one I chased after so fruitlessly. "I don't love you anymore is all I remember you telling me never have I felt so cold But I've no more blood to bleed Cuz my heart has been draining into the sea...." And the strange footnote to that day, that time, that moment of hope and loss and all that was to come is this: Even though his friendship I never actually earned, in his status of a wise, polite stranger, that straightedge boy I never really knew was far more civil than Ceci. His responses, however short they were, however long it took to get them, were genuine. It is such a small thing, his honesty, yet it is more than I can say for ninety percent of the people I've known in the last several years. Another song we sang together that night was Prayer of the Refugee. I had no idea then but that song was about to describe my life. "We are the angry and desperate The hungry and the cold We are the ones who kept quiet and always did what we were told But we've been sweating while you slept so calm in the safety of your homes We've been pulling at the nails that hold up everything you own."

The split with my husband was brutal. First I had to deal with police that didn't care, who told me at one point "Well, if he tries to kill you, call us back, otherwise there's nothing we can do. He's your husband and he has the same right to live here as you do." Thanks to the police not doing anything, I was thrown out of the apartment I had paid for for ten years. The battered women's shelter was full and I would have found myself homeless had it not been for my friend Lilo. Suddenly I was having to start from scratch and then, upon finding a place, having to pack up ten years worth of my life and move it all by myself. "I hit the ground and I'm still running but I need a place to stay tonight I swear I'll be gone in the morning I just need some place warm to close my eyes." Every day I worked until the afternoon, went home and packed until 2 am, fell asleep until 5 am and then got up and did it all again. Then once I was packed I had to move it all. I can't remember why I didn't ask for help but I moved it all alone except for the bed, entertainment center and tv. "The drones all slave away They're working overtime They serve a faceless queen They never question why Disciples of a god That neither lives nor breathes But we've got bills to pay Yeah we've got mouths to feed I won't go back..." This was such a strange time. There was no way to hide what was going on: my husband came to where I worked and jumped me in front of everyone there, I had to tell my boss "My husband kicked me out and I'm homeless at the moment, could I possibly get my check a day or two early to put a deposit down on an apartment?" and I had to own up to the fact that I was straightedge and my husband was a heroin addict. "We're broken but still breathing We are wounded but we are healing We pick up right where we left off Breathe on the ashes that remain So that these coals may become fire To guide our way.." This made my life suddenly seem a really bad B movie. There was nothing to do but go on. I would have asked myself "What would that straightedge guy do in this situation?" if I'd had any idea. Instead I asked "What would Dave Peters of Throwdown do?" and of course the obvious answer was "punch something". As much as I wanted to, I couldn't do that. However, I knew for sure what he wouldn't do and that was curl up in a ball and cry. So I didn't do that either. It was a such horrible time and yet when I look back all I remember is my own strength and the exhilaration I felt when I finally left. "So give me the drug Keep me alive Give me what's left of my life Don't let me go... Pull this plug, let me breathe On my own, I'm finally free..."

Lilo and Di swore I looked great, like I had suddenly gotten 10 years younger. They said I was glowing, but unless I had come in contact with radium I certainly didn't see how. I remember thinking "Well hell, maybe the Socialists were right. Maybe 16 hour days are the way to salvation." "Wake me up inside Tell me there's a reason To take another step To get up off my knees and, Follow this path of most resistance. And where ever it takes us, Whatever it faces and wherever it leads" As I came into my own power, the straightedge boy who had loomed so god-like over the first years of my commitment shrank back down to human size. Deep down I still hoped that if he was to know of all I had gone through he would be a little proud of me for surviving with my integrity intact. But if he didn't, well that was okay too. Survive I did, survive I continue to. "Somewhere between happy, and total fucking wreck Feet sometimes on solid ground, sometimes at the edge To spend your waking moments, simply killing time Is to give up on your hopes and dreams, to give up on your... Life for you, has been less than kind So take a number, stand in line We've all been sorry, we've all been hurt But how we survive, is what makes us who we are" When I had my own place and my own life again, to celebrate I bought myself a Christmas present: a tattoo of a sparrow carrying brass knuckles in her beak. It reminded me of this lyric that had been echoing in my head the whole time: "And if strength was born from heartbreak Then mountains I could move If walls could speak I pray that they would tell me what to do." I enjoyed more than six months of solitude in my cozy little apartment on Airline. I filled my weekends with walks on the beach, solitary shopping excursions for meatless dinners, and nights were spent at the House of Rock and the Underground watching bands, enjoying the freedom of staying out without getting yelled at or called names. I spent Christmas alone on Lilo's floor stuffing myself with processed cheeseballs and watching movies. It was my first UnChristmas. The Jehovah's Witnesses would have been proud! "Warm yourself by the fire, son, And the morning will come soon. I’ll tell you stories of a better time, In a place that we once knew. Before we packed our bags And left all this behind us in the dust, We had a place that we could call home, And a life no one could touch."

But I am flawed and cowed and crippled by the Christian concept of forgiveness. And by the time I would be seeing Rise Against again, my husband would be back by my side. In West Texas his mom had ran him through the MHMR system, let them start him on 7 different drugs, ---including three different tranquilizers and pills for hallucinations and seizures, which he never once had,--- used him to get on welfare, disability, and Medicare. Once he's served the purpose, she called a friend in the sheriff's department and had him pulled from her house, drugged out of his mind on meds at the time, and stuck on a bus to Corpus Christi. The Glasscock County Sherriff's Department called me at work to TELL me "Your husband is on a bus to Corpus, he'll be there at two am. He's your responsibility now." On the bus, because of his state of stupor, he was robbed of everything but his clothes and as much as I wanted to just shove him into the closest homeless shelter, I couldn't. Had it been me, as unlikely as that would be, I would want someone to have compassion. "We are the children you reject and disregard These aching cries come from the bottom of our hearts You can't disown us now, we are your own flesh and blood And we don't disappear just because your eyes are shut" I took him in. At first it was easy. Thanks to the drugs he was sleeping 18 hours a day. Finally I started to investigate what they had him on, what he could do without and how to get him back to normal. I'm not sure how I did it, but I weened him off of every drug he was on. At first it was out of necessity since I was making too much money for him to stay on state sponsored help and he'd have run out eventually. Looking back though, had he sustained that amount of drug intake for long he would have probably died. So he was back for good and conversely Ceci and Jadey and nearly every other friend I had at the time would have turned their backs on me and flocked to other, cooler individuals. All those kids that convinced me they would have killed themselves, starved themselves, cut themselves to shreds, OD'ed, etc had they not met me, who all imposed their problems and lives on mine for five years or more and took up every spare moment of my time and every inch of my heart all turned 18 at once. In turning 18 they realized they knew it all and I was no longer worth their time. "And if you think your words will ever make a difference Think again and carry on..." My husband and I are still together, but all those friends are long gone. I wish I could say he gave up all his demons, but he didn't. He simply traded the big ones for a myriad of lesser evils. He will never be straightedge. And though he claims to be proud of me, to this day he is convinced, utterly falsely, I am hiding some secret affair with the straightedge boy from years ago. I sat him down one day and asked "Do you get that we are straightedge? Do you get that in being straightedge we could not possibly cheat on our significant others and remain straightedge? Do you get that no matter how much he influenced me I barely knew him and he barely gave me the time of day? Do you get that what you are accusing me of is utterly impossible?”

Despite his insistence on this, the idea doesn't bother him enough for him to give up his own addictions and become edge himself. He no longer asks me to change and he is no longer violent, thank god. I no longer ask him to change, though I pray every day he will. We have been together for twenty years now and I have never been with anyone else. This doesn't keep me from dreaming of some nice sXe man who shares my ideals. But I think of it much like I imagine racing on the autobahn, knowing it will never actually happen and knowing I’d never do it even if I could. "We live on front porches and swing life away We get by just fine here on minimum wage If love is a labor I'll slave til the end..." Things in my life settled down for a bit as we prepared to see the boys again at Stubb's BBQ. Through myspace I found my friend Linda that I had not spoken to in fifteen years. As we sat on the balcony at Stubb's I kept one eye on the stage and the other on the door waiting to see her again. When she walked through the doors it was like the last fifteen years never even happened and instantly we picked up right where we left off and again were tearing through Austin with her at the wheel like we had so many times in the past. Because of this joyful reunion I was not first in line when the doors opened, I was buying rainbow necklaces in the gay shops in town and snickering over whether the guy behind the counter was flirting with my husband or not. - That was a strange memory for me, being in the very back of the audience for once, singing alone as Aaron sat on a rock and read a Robert Jordan novel. I was happy to be there, the music was incredible, but the feeling was all wrong. I was isolated and alone, in the back row with my fist raised and Aaron tugging at my arm every other song asking "What song is this? Do I know this one?". I wondered if Ceci was there in the front row, holding on to someone else and convincing them she would have killed herself if they hadn't come into her life. I imagined others in the front row, in our place, saluting Joe, singing our songs while I was the interloper that did not belong anymore. We walked out of the sold out show before the encore, a long drive home facing us. Aaron never lets me stay for the encores. He always wants to hit the road. As we walked to the car, with Worth Dying For wafting through the air above us, I blew a kiss to the wind and told Ceci goodbye. "Feel me rise in the strength I've found inside the warm embracing air Like a glacier melting watch me dissipate I searched for love in an empty world but all I found was hate" It was the lyrics of Rise Against that echoed in my head when I sat down to read the words of Marx and Lenin for the first time as a whole other world opened up for me. It was Rise Against that drove me on as I worked sixty hour weeks. "We're losing daylight but I can't work any faster Under the veil of dust we go on..." Their lyrics saw me through every major event of the last several years of my life. Appeal to Reason was released in the Fall of 2008 and though the year found me miserably poor and unemployed, I still bought it the day it came out. It was on my mp3 player and as I sat in the welfare office applying for food stamps I would hear the lyrics "Despite these petty fortunes we still can't afford a life...." for the first time and I would pause a moment just for the whole zeitgeist effect of it. For Christmas of 2008 I received an email from Ceci after a year and a half of ignoring my every attempt at contacting her. I had tried everything, even terribly childish measures to get some kind of reaction but every letter---first polite, then angry, then groveling-- every call, email, and package was met with silence. A year and a half passed and then I got the email saying "I got the new Rise Against and it made me realize how much I loved and missed you and loved AFI and I want to be friends again. I know you can't forgive me but can we be friends again? There's this song on that new Rise Against that

reminds me of you." True to the bond we had once held there was certainly a song on the new Rise Against that reminded me of us too: "Identities assume us as nine and five add up Synchronizing watches To the seconds that we lost I looked up and saw you I know that you saw me We froze but for a moment In empathy I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug" This was exactly what happened the last time we saw each other when she turned up her nose and pretended not to know who I was, just a week after sending me a letter saying how much she loved me. This led to the year plus of her not speaking to and ignoring all attempts at contact I made, even the immature ones. "And if you see me please just walk on by Walk on by Forget my name and I'll forget it too Failed attempts at living simple lives Simple lives Always keep me coming back to you." But too much time had passed and although that Christian weakness crippled me so with my husband, for once I stood strong and had no trouble in keeping the door to my heart shut. I told her not to contact me again. "I count the times that I've been sorry Now my compassion slowly drowns If there's a time these walls could guard you Then let that time be right now."

That doesn't mean that my mind does not still light to her like a bee to a flower, the years we were friends, that feeling of love and camaraderie and the bond I imagined we had. The last three Rise Against albums play the soundtrack of our friendship whenever I turn them on. When I play Appeal to Reason I wonder if this song reminds her of me:

"It kills me not to know this but I've all but just forgotten what the color of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them" If I close my eyes I am there again in that Port Aransas condo, the night we met face to face after talking online for so long. We are huddled together in the bedroom sharing the earphones of a cd player listening to Placebo's Sleeping With Ghosts. I am pulling down the zipper of my boot and showing her three freshly razored X's cut into my ankle, the blood still stuck to a wad of tissue pressed between my sock and skin. She is crying and wrapping her arms around me and telling me she understands everything and that someday she will show me her scars too. "I'll show you mine If you'll show me yours first Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words..." She never did show me her scars. I wonder now if she even had any. There are lots of songs that transport me back then when she was my world. But now I know nothing about her nor anyone else I knew then was real and I wonder if that song ever reminds her of me and the way she led me to believe I was her lifeline, right up until the moment she cut me off and forgot me like a favorite toy after adolescence destroys the need for such playthings. "As the telling signs of age rain down a single tear is dropping through the valleys of an aging face that this world has forgotten ..." This is the music that accompanied my feet hitting the pavement of park sidewalks and treadmills, it is the melodies that buoyed me through endless work weeks and settled into the recesses of my heart in times of quiet contemplation. As I read words written years ago by writers we were never allowed to study in school, it is the soundtrack that played in my mind when those concepts began to make sense. When I read Ten Days that Shook the World by John Reed, what I was hearing in my head was

"but these ghosts come alive like water and wine walk through these streets singing songs and carrying signs, to them these streets belong.." As I struggled to understand the Communist Manifesto I was thinking to myself: "Unknowing, we lie and wait for the rain To wash away what they have made Face down in the dirt with your foot on my back In the distance I hear thunder crack C'mon Stand up! This system of power and privilege is about to come to an end Here come the clouds The first drop is falling down" I look back at many things and laugh. I remember when I was first looking for straightedge shirts I came upon one that said SUPPORT LEFTIST HARDCORE. I had no earthly idea what it meant and was way too scared to ask anyone. Now I can quote Trotsky. When I first turned edge I stopped eating meat for several months until my husband found out and started calling me a Communist. At the time it seemed like the worst thing in the world to be called. He still calls me a Communist but now with laughable results. I'll cock my head, say something to him in Russian, he'll mumble under his breath 'Yeah you only say that because you've had sex with the entire Communist party!", I'll roll my eyes and we go back to our common denominators of movie quotes, comic books, and making fun of people. I always loved the way the Russian alphabet looked and shortly after we were married I got a tramp stamp with his initials in Russian. He now claims it actually means "Welcome aboard, Comrade." I just laugh and we kid each other and life goes on. In the great Holy Grail of a search for wisdom that I thought could only come from the first straightedge boy I knew, I had one great fear: what if I found him again and he was no longer edge? I was terrified of this, sure that if he fell I would too, that if that touchstone was gone, all would be lost. This no longer worries me. I would be sad if it happened, but it would not affect my journey nor cause me to stumble because I have found my own way. It was hard way full of work, trial and error and pure blind luck. Maybe it would have been easier if things had gone differently and yet it is all mine and no one else's.

I have now seen Rise Against eight times each with its own small dramas, like when I was working for Job Corps, worked an 18 hour day, literally passed out in my car from low blood sugar and exhaustion—luckily before I had started the engine. I somehow made it home, downed two peanut butter sandwiches and went to the show where I had no energy to dance, but just stood there and sang.

The last show was the best in years for me. I was in the second row behind a little boy and his mom. His mom was my age and it was her son’s first concert. He was there to see NOFX. They put on an incredible show and I did my best to keep the crowd off the kid. As a reward, the mother gave me their spot and they went to the back when Rise Against came on. I had not been in the front row since that show with Ceci. I felt like I was twenty again. Rise Against is the music that scores ALL of this in my memory. It is the sound of hope and loss, of new directions and ideas, of the brass ring becoming just another small cog in the great, silent machinations of my soul. It is the music of discovering that the strength of the world lies inside my own heart. It is the sound of me walking away from what I loved, it is the joyous noise of friends you're certain is lost forever coming back to you. This is my so-called Rise Against life