#molly upton

[389]

Molly Upton Watchtower (1975) Quilt

[vizuart]

Molly Upton - "Watchtower" (1975) (quilt)

[jareaulamontagnes]

Would it be cool if Hailey would bond with a teen on the show on and off ?

That’s a given, of course. I know cases are supposed to be a one episode thing and victims or people that are associated with the case we never rarely see again because they’ve served their purpose, unless the storyline is meant to be bigger than one episode.

I would love to see Hailey bond with a teen outside of work that she meets on the job. She would be the perfect candidate to foster a teen and take a teen under her wing, even without the possibility of adoption/fostering. She has such a caring nature and it should be explored more.

But of course, now with her leaving, doubt we’re gonna see that but nothing says that Jay and Hailey can’t do that in the future, offscreen even if we never see it. That would be good enough for me.

[sevcasejay1chicago]

We chose you- Matt, Kelly, Jay

Summary: You hear Erin Lindsey bad mouthing you in the bathroom at Molly’s. She opens up old wounds that only your boys can heal.

Warnings: cursing, mentions vomiting, diabetic

Authors note: Here it is my loves. This is a request from an anonymous friend. I hope you enjoy!

——————

Molly’s was packed. Stella was hosting her monthly karaoke night. The night was young, the drinks were cold, and the people were packed in the bar. You were sat at a back table with Jay, Will, Matt, Kelly, and Natalie. The music wasn’t the worst your group had heard, but that was the last thing on your mind. You and Will Halstead were up next. You had lost a bet to him earlier that day, so now you were stuck singing We Are Never Getting Back Together by T-Swift. Will won the bet, which got you on stage. The catch was that you got to pick the song.

When Stella loudly announced your song and called you and Will up, you practically had to be dragged away. You couldn’t believe that you had been talked into this. Hopefully the liquid courage would be enough.

About half way through the song, you realized that a very drunk Erin Lindsey with flirting with Kelly and Jay. Their attention was solely on her and, from the looks of it, they were not pushing her away. You felt anger rise in your chest, but locked eyes with Will and kept singing.

Once the song was over, you handed your mic to Will and stormed off into the bathroom. Reaching a stall, you immediately went in and sat down, grabbing toilet paper to blot the tears away in hopes of Matt not noticing that you had been crying. You figured Kelly and Jay wouldn’t notice, given that they were entertaining Erin.

Suddenly, you heard giggling as the door swung open. You huddled up with your feet above the view from under the door, hoping that nobody knew you were there.

“They could do so much better than her.” Erin slurred, giggling as Hailey Upton handed her a wet paper towel.

“Erin.” Hailey sighed, crossing her arms as she watched her drunk companion dab the paper towel on the back of her neck.

“What? She’s not as pretty as me. She has WAY more issues than me. I mean, I could hide my feelings for the most part. She’s just so whiny. I even feel bad for Matt.” Erin slurred, slapping the paper towel onto the counter and scoffing loudly. “They just pity her. Why have her when they could have me?” Erin asked as she walked out of the bathroom.

Hailey muttered something under her breath before she gave her reply, which got drown out by the music and then the door shutting behind her. You, however, were completely horrified. Deep down, you knew she was just talking shit. Right?

Pulling yourself together, you made your way back to your table and practically sat yourself in Matt’s lap as you eyed Kelly, Jay, Erin, and Hailey. You laid your head on his shoulder as you took a sip of his water.

“You okay baby?” Matt asked, lifting your hair from the back of your neck as he felt the heat coming from you.

“I don’t feel good. Can we go home?” You whispered in his ear before laying your head back onto his shoulder.

Matt rubbed your back and nodded. “Absolutely. Let me go collect the guys.” He replied, starting to stand and hand you off to Will to keep you company.

“Just leave them. Will can fill them in and Upton can bring them home.” You said, pouting at Matt. “I really don’t feel good and I wanna go home.” You whined, giving him your best puppy dog look, though you were literally getting nauseous by seeing the way Erin was all over them.

Matt eyed you and finally gave in with a nod to Will. “Alright baby. Come on. Let’s get you home.” Matt said, standing with you braced against his chest, kissing the top of your head.

After a short goodbye to the people at your table, Matt guided you through the crowded bar and out of the side door. He kept his hands on your waist and almost laughed when you breathed in a lungful of the cool night air. From there, he picked you up, bridal style, and carried you to Jay’s truck, easily depositing you into the front seat and buckling you in.

“Just tell me if you need me to pull over, ‘kay?” Matt told you, cupping your burning face in his palms.

“Kay.” You hummed closing your eyes and enjoying the coolness of his hands. You had to hold back a whine when he moved back and closed the door, missing the coolness of his hands and the comfort he brought you.

Matt drove home with your hand in his, making sure to be easy on his stops and turns. When he parked the truck, he looked over to notice that you were asleep with your head leaned against the back of the seat, your face toward him. Instead of waking you up, Matt quietly took you out of the car and carried you inside. He tried to gently undress you, but you woke with a start when the cool air hit your chest.

“Shhhh. I’m just changing your clothes baby.” Matt soothed, leaning over you to make eye contact. He could see the fear in your eyes until you recognized him. An old PD casing coming back to haunt you if Matt had to guess.

You breathed a sigh of relief and nodded, laying back again. “I’m good. I’m ‘Kay.” You slurred, still pretty drunk and very much half asleep.

Matt nodded. “Okay baby. I’m almost done and then we can go to bed.” Matt whispered, quickly changing you into one of his shirts before laying you against your pillow. “Need anything?” Matt asked sweetly, tucking the blankets around your shoulders.

You thought back to Erin’s comment and quickly shook your head, almost regretting how much it hurt to do so. “‘M good. Go back n have fun.” You whispered, starting to turn over and go to sleep.

Matt chuckled and started taking off his clothes. “No ma’am. I’m staying here with you.” Matt said, tossing his clothes in the hamper, along with yours. “Let’s remove your makeup so that your eyes aren’t irritated in the morning.” Matt proposed, walking toward the bathroom for your makeup wipes.

You wiped silent tears from your face as the feeling of being a burden almost immediately tried to swallow you whole. You weren’t completely sure if he was doing this out of habit or obligation after hearing Erin’s comments. “You don’t have to.” You said, trying to make your voice sound strong.

Matt came back in the room, wipes in hand. “Baby.” Matt cooed, immediately coming to your side. “Shhh. It’s alright.” Matt shushed, taking you into his arms as you shook with a sob. “Baby. What’s wrong? You feel sick?” Matt asked, knowing throwing up was a major fear of yours. You did, so when you nodded, you weren’t exactly lying. “Need to go to the bathroom?” Matt asked with a hum, staying calm to hopefully promote the same feeling within you.

You shook your head. “Sleep.” You whispered, sniffing and pulling yourself together.

Matt nodded. “Okay hunny. Hang on.”

Your loving boyfriend then proceeded to wipe your face clean of makeup and tears. Holding the wipe to your nose to blow after the crying made you sniffly. Then he tucked you back into bed and kissed your forehead.

“I’ll be right back to cuddle sweetheart.” Matt promised. He was only gone for a few minutes before he returned with some water, meds for your hangover tomorrow morning, and a trash can. “Trash can will be on the nightstand if you wake up feeling sick.” Matt said, placing it on his side of the bed, which meant you would end up waking him if you got sick in the night.

Matt finally slid into bed, plugged in your phones and turned out the lights. You weren’t going to object when Matt immediately pulled you into his arms since he initiated the contact. Instead, you got comfortable and fell into a fitful sleep.

You barely stirred when Jay and Kelly stumbled in at 5 am, but you were immediately hit with the smell of alcohol when you woke a few hours later. Luckily, Matt was already up and cooking in the kitchen, so he didn’t hear when you made a mad dash for the bathroom and threw up everything you consumed the night before. Afterwards, you brushed your teeth and showered, needing to make sure that the smell of vomit didn’t linger and to calm your racing heart. You brushed again before going out to join Matt in the kitchen.

For the next several days, you dodged Kelly and Jay. Constantly making an excuse to not be in the same room as them. You even went to bed early every night and slept on Matt’s side of the bed to ensure that the other two wouldn’t touch you at night. Every time you saw the boys do something for the other or heard them talking to each other in a loving way, your heart twisted in sadness. They sound and look so happy when you aren’t bothering them. The thought made you physically sick, which led to more vomiting and skipping meals, claiming that you had a big lunch or ate a snack.

However, you failed to notice that the boys were in fact taking notice of your presence, or lack thereof. It was bothering them, but they weren’t going to push you. They knew that you had your moments when you needed to be left alone, so they did just that until they couldn’t anymore.

A week after the incident at Molly’s, the boys were setting up their Friday night date night. They figured, since you haven’t wanted to be around them, that you wouldn’t want to be around other people. They were just finishing setting up when you walked through the door. Everyone stopped and looked at you. You were frozen in place, pale as a ghost and trembling as you breathed erratically. Everyone stayed frozen for a moment until you threw your stuff on the counter and ran for the bathroom.

All three boys were hot on your heels. Matt got there first, pressing you against his side with one hand and keeping your ponytail back with the other as you bent at the waist over the toilet. You were still hyperventilating and shaking.

“Shhhhh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here.” Matt shushed, lightly rubbing your right side. It seemed odd that he could feel your ribs after only a week of barely touching you.

Jay and Kelly were moving about the master bathroom, both getting things you normally liked when you were sick. Jay eventually came over with a wet wash cloth and laid it over the back of your neck while taking your temp with the forehead thermometer.

“No fever.” Jay announced, reaching up to rub your back. He startled slightly when you flinched. You have never flinched when any of the boys touched you, when your sober anyway. Jay and Matt made eye contact when it happened, but were quickly drawn back to you as you heaved loudly.

“I-hmmm. Just l-leave, Pl-hukk.” You tried to plead, being cut off by a gag.

“No way.” Kelly said, taking you by the hips. You were swaying slightly now, the hyperventilating, plus the heaving and you locking your legs was clearly causing you to lose your balance. “Kneel down baby.” Kelly coached, pushing your hips slightly down to lead you onto your knees.

“Mm-m.” You shook your head, moving closer to Matt. “G-go. Ju-out!” You tried to exclaim, but it ended in a whisper as you sagged into Matt’s arms.

“Woah!” Matt said, catching you and lowering you to the ground.

Kelly immediately took a towel down and pillowed your head with it. Jay knelt down to check your pulse as Matt helped Kelly pull you into the recovery position.

“Pulse is strong but tacky.” Jay announced, keeping a hold of your wrist.

“Y/n? Open your eyes.” Matt called, tilting your face upwards to open your airways more.

You didn’t respond. Kelly took out the blood pressure machine and handed Jay the glucose monitor. The exchange was done silently and the devices were used immediately. Jay gasped as your blood sugar came up on the small device.

“Holy shit. It’s 45!” Jay exclaimed, immediately diving for the bag and pulling out the glucagon and spraying it into your nose.

“BP is pretty high for her, which makes since with a blood sugar that low.” Kelly commented, standing to run to the kitchen and grab you some orange juice.

“Let’s take her to the living room. Can you grab the trash can just in case?” Matt asked Jay, shifting you into his arms as you began to stir. “Shhhhh. We gotcha.” Matt murmured as Jay nodded and grabbed the first aid kit and trash can, following Matt out into the living room.

Matt barely had you laid down when you woke up. Immediately, you attempted to get up, still feeling nauseous and kinda flighty. You felt like a caged animal needing to escape.

“Hey hey hey. No baby.” Matt exclaimed, pushing you back down. “You just passed out from low blood sugar. Kelly is getting you some juice I think.” Matt soothed, sitting down next to you.

“M fine.” You said, trying to push yourself up again.

“Bullshit.” Kelly said, walking into the room with Jay behind him.

“Fine my ass.” Jay muttered, ripping open one of your zofrans and giving it to you.

You took the Zofran and sipped on the orange juice that Kelly brought in. Everyone was staring at you, but you averted your gaze as you began to connect the dots on what just happened. You knew what was coming next.

“Alright. Spill. What’s been going on with you lately?” Jay asked, sitting on the coffee table and trying his best not to seem intimidating.

You shook your head. “Nothin.” You said, trying to sound normal.

“No. That’s not an answer.” Kelly said, coming to kneel next to you. “You’ve been avoiding us, mostly me and Jay, for a week now. What did we do?” Kelly asked, pleading with his eyes.

“You really wanna know??” You exclaimed, hands trembling from more than low blood sugar. “I’m just surprised you haven’t gone back to Erin. I’m sure she’s still in town.” You scoffed.

“What?” Kelly and Jay both said.

“At Molly’s, she was flirting with you and you were flirting back. Then you didn’t come home until 5 am.” You had tears streaming down your face. “Erin didn’t know I was crying in the bathroom when she told Hailey how much better she is than me and how sorry she feels for you guys for having a needy girlfriend.” You explained, hastily wiping the tears from your face.

“Baby, we-“ Jay started, but you shoved the orange juice into his hand and reached for the trash can instead.

Matt pulled your pony tail back again as Kelly reached over to steady the trash can. You were just panting heavily, but saliva was dripping into the trash can along with your tears. Luckily, the Zofran was completely dissolved under your tongue.

“Shhhhhh. Breathe baby. Slow down.” Matt soothed, rubbing your back. “Let it pass baby. Just breathe and let it pass. You’ve gotten yourself all worked up.” Matt whispered, letting you keep the trash can as long as you needed to, but hoping that this was just nausea from anxiety.

You nodded, spitting and letting Kelly take the trash can. You immediately turned into Matt and hid your face in his neck. You let yourself sob, having been pent up for too long. You missed this. You missed your boys.

“Baby. We chose you.” Jay said, placing a hand on your back. “She did try, but we chose you and Matt.”

“We would never chose her.” Kelly said, sitting down next to Matt. “We had our fun, but that was the past. You and Matt are our future.” Kelly explained, placing a hand on Matt’s thigh.

“And we love taking care of you. We love that you love us enough to trust us with anything.” Matt said, planting a kiss on the side of your head. “I knew they wouldn’t leave us because I know how much they love us. How much they love you.” Matt whispered.

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

@daggersquadphantom

@mattangel11

@stellakiddsblog

@100yroldteenagers

@senjoritanana

[thestarrynightslover]

Second Time Is the Charm

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 1,211

Warnings: None, just fluff.

Summary: Jay meets the Reader, Hailey's best friend, when she's meeting Molly's for the first time after having moved back to Chicago.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way, or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: Still not in my best writing but I hope you like it!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| mastelist |

"Hey, guys! This is my best friend, (y/n) (y/l/n), who I told you about! She just moved to the city a few weeks ago, so, be nice!" You heard your long-time friend, Hailey, warn her coworkers, who she always swore by to be some of the very best people in Chicago.

"Whatcha sayin', Detective Upton? I'm always nice!" a tall guy, who you recognized as being the one Hailey'd had a fling with some time ago, exclaimed, feigning offense.

They all are very sympathetic to you and you can see how they managed to get Hailey's friendship so easily. But there is one person who stands out from the rest of the group. And you just can't help yourself but to stare at the handsome guy who Hailey said is her partner. The famous Jay Halstead. You do know that it's impolite to basically ogle him like that but you. Just. Can't. Stop. He might just be the most beautiful man you've ever seen and that's saying a lot since you'd already lived in many places and had already met lots of hot guys.

Maybe you were dreaming or something but it seemed like he, too, was taking a few glances at you. But you must've been imagining 'cause he never made a single move your way — not that you were dealing any better with this sort of crush.

The hours ticked by faster than anyone there would've imagined with all the friendly chit-chat and the stories being told but, when you noticed the time, you decided it was time to go home, so you announced: "Hey, guys, thanks a lot for tonight! It was really nice meeting you all, I had a blast! But now I think I'mma head home."

"What? No! I can drive you there later," Adam started but you cut him off:

"No need for that, really. I live nearby and the walk home is gonna be good for me!"

"But going alone this time of night…" Kevin trailed off.

"Well I was thinking about heading home too and I'm also gonna walk. So maybe we can go together?" Jay asked, speaking directly to you for the first time in the whole night.

Not really knowing how to politely decline that one, you accepted: "Oh, um, okay, that'd be nice."

"It's really nice of yours to offer to walk me home, Jay. Thank you again." You said in an attempt to break the ice.

"Yeah, no problem. You know I like making myself available for the community!" He said with a wink? Was Hailey's partner seriously trying to flirt with you? "So, back at Molly's everyone explored a lot why you came back to Chicago but I wanna know what made you leave it in the first place, 'cause you went to college here, with Hailey, right?"

"Uh… yeah, we were roommates, actually. But I left for many reasons, the main one being a wish to see what the world had to offer. Which wasn't very hard since I can easily get a job pretty much anywhere I want…" You answered, leaving out the part about how your ex had humiliated you into leaving the city just to put as much distance between the two of you as possible.

"Hmmm, I see. But you said work had you moving back?"

"Yeah, well this was an exception because I was being offered a better position in case I came here." And because now you'd already gotten over what happened with your ex.

"Then which one is your favorite city so far?" There he got you, you always had a hard time picking favorites…

"Hmmm, maybe Amsterdam?" You thought that it would be a smooth way to do some flirting of your own. "It can be a very romantic city…" You started, "and I've always seen myself as a romantic, hopeless or not…"

"Oh, is that right?" The detective asked.

"Yeah, well, what can I say if everything romance just makes me happy?" You said, looking up brightly at him. Before he could muster up an answer though, you realized where you were, "Oh, that's my building right there!" You exclaimed pointing at the building across the street. But just as you said it you found yourself being sweetly and longingly kissed by Jay, which caught you completely off guard.

"So…" You started without really knowing how to continue after the kiss.

"So…" He imitated while nervously scratching the back of his neck. "I guess it was a bit awkward to just kiss you like that-"

"No! I, uh, I liked it!" Gosh, you sounded like a teenager, " I mean it wasn't bad or anything."

"Then maybe you'd be okay with giving me your number?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure!" Once again, teenager, dammit! "I, uh, what I mean is that I wouldn't mind it if you wanted to call me sometime, detective. You know, just making myself available for the community." You repeated his previous words with a wink.

"Huh! Careful with those empty promises, ma'am," Jay said playfully.

"Who said anything about empty?" You countered.

"Okay, then… Just know that you might be getting a call from me sooner rather than later." He half confessed while shaking his head.

"Looking forward to it!" You shot back and turned around to walk towards your building. Just as you were about to take the first step though, you decided to take a last glance at him, saying: "Have a good night, detective." He didn't answer, you didn't give him time to. But, as you were almost at the building's door, you heard your phone starting to ring and decided to pick up, since it wasn't very common for you to get calls at that time of night. "Hello?"

"Hi, uh, is this (y/n) (y/l/n)'s phone?" You heard Jay's amused voice on the other end of the line and instantly turned back around to see him, still standing on the other side of the street, purposely in your eyesight.

"Really?"

"You said to call at any time-"

"Hmmm…"

"And I just couldn't wait!"

"Are you making fun of me right now?"

"Not at all!" He quickly responded. "I am, actually, inviting you to grab coffee with me one of these days." At that, your heart started beating faster and you could only hope that he wasn't able to hear it through the phone. "Or, you know, lunch, dinner, whatever you prefer!"

"I, uh, I would love to, Jay." Was all you could answer, as the flirty banter suddenly seemed pointless. "I would love to grab coffee or lunch or dinner with you sometime!"

"Okay. That's, uh, that's great! So, maybe this Saturday? 9 o'clock?"

"Yeah, sure! That sounds good! Just let me know where you wanna me-"

"Nope, nuh-uh, that's not happening! Just be ready by then and prepare yourself to be surprised!"

"Jay, I-"

"Not taking no for an answer! Goodnight to you too, (y/n)." He said and hung up, waving at you as he continued his path. Meanwhile, you went upstairs thinking about Saturday and about how you'd snatched a guy like that on your third day back in the city. Maybe Chicago wasn't as bad as you remembered it anymore...

[kiddbegins]

Coming Out - Hailey Upton

Requested: no

Word count: 3002

Warning: lesbian!reader, questioning of sexuality?

A/n: I’ve been wanting to write something about Hailey coming to terms with her sexuality for a while so.. also this is probably gonna be a mini series of some sort

Masterlist

“You look really pretty today,” Was something you told your coworker Hailey Upton daily. It was also unfortunately your crappy way of flirting. Listen, nobody taught you how to flirt. It's not like it was going to go as smooth as imagined. 

Your partner (regularly) made fun of you for it, knowing that your budding crush on the blonde had been festering since you first met her. How could it not have?

Genuinely, she comes in, starts shit talking your asshole of a superior and you’re not supposed to want her to push you up against the wall and make out with you?

Well you definitely failed in that department but the problem was, you didn’t even know if she liked girls like that. And after her short lived stint with Adam you didn’t know if it was worth trying. If you were wrong then you could mess up the really, really, good friendship you guys had. 

But things were starting to feel different. Just slightly. When you guys went undercover inside a bar and the way she had looked you over before you left felt… less restrained. More of the way you usually look at girls. 

But hey, maybe you were overthinking it. So you gave the same “You look really pretty,” and moved on. Letting the night progress, the case get worked and by the end of the week you were with everyone else getting a drink at Molly’s. 

Whilst there you tried to let go, keep an eye out for someone that wouldn’t mind coming home with you. Needing some sort of stress reliever after the way work had been going. 

And you could have sworn you saw Hailey let out a heavy sigh when you took the hand of a red haired girl you met not even ten minutes ago and stalked out of the bar. Her hand already on your ass. 

You must’ve been hallucinating. And she was out of your mind for the entirety of the ride to your house before she crept back in. You shouldn’t have been thinking of her while someone else (her name was Samantha) had her way with you. 

But you couldn’t help it. Your feelings fpr the blonde detective weren’t only sexual. No way. You wanted the everyday stuff with Hailey. All of it. But in that exact moment you did wish she was the one knuckles deep in you.

What could you do right?

So maybe work was weird Monday, and then again Tuesday. Even more so Wednesday when Voight ushered for you and Hailey to be partnered up, needing the double distraction at the forefront. 

Just clad in normal, casual clothes, you and Hailey worked the men up, having to fight the urge to hit them when one of them got a little too handsy. Knowing that acting harshly wouldn’t be much help. 

Back in her car on the way back though, she looked over at you. “Are you okay? I saw how Vincent grabbed you. If that had been me I would’ve broken his nose.” Hailey spoke as she brought the two of you back to the precinct. 

Simply you nodded, “Yeah, could’ve been worse. And besides, it would’ve done more harm than good. It’ll feel nice to get him behind bars though. That’s for sure.” You sighed out, leaning your head back against the headrest. 

Hailey nodded, turning her focus back to the road. She couldn’t figure out why seeing him do that made her feel so angry, so annoyed. 

She was just protective, is what she came up with. She didn’t want anyone getting touched or hurt badly. That had to be it. And you didn’t even realize how she looked after you as you exited the vehicle first. 

Didn’t notice her walking behind you and just trying to find what it was that was making her feel so off. So weird. 

That alone made the next couple of days feel wrong. Back with your usual partners, aside from the undercover part, the two of you were never in a room alone together. Whether it was on purpose and Hailey was avoiding you or completely coincidental, it was weird. 

But what were you going to do? Ask her about it? Then you’d have to explain why it hurt so much. Why you wanted to talk to her. So you ignored it and went about your days. 

It was difficult at Molly’s that Saturday. You were (as usual) one of the last ones there. Meaning Hailey and the others had already set up shop at a table, a seat open for you but you didn’t know if you would be making her uncomfortable. 

You thought for a second as you went up to the bar. Maybe she’s just been busy. With what though you were on the same damn case. Or, your eyes widened, maybe she picked up on your crush with her dumb detective skills and got creeped out.  

If that were true you couldn’t even bear joining them. You didn’t exactly get a choice, Jay coming over as you ordered and practically dragging you to the table. “Okay, settle this for us. We, as in me and Adam, think that Die Hard is a Christmas movie. I have always, always watched it as one.”

He paused, “But, Kev and Hailey think it isn’t. Kim’s never seen it so she’s out of the conversation.” Jay put his hand on your shoulder slightly, waiting for your response. 

“Jay you’re not going to like my answer,” you laughed softly, Kevin cheering instantly. 

“See? I told you she’d be with us. It is not a Christmas movie.” He spoke, smiling widely at you. “This is why we’re your favorites and you're my favorite.”

Adam looked up in fake offense, Kevin brushing him off. You laughed softly, looking over at Hailey. Her eyes almost instantly darted from yours, a sigh leaving your mouth. 

“Right, well, I’m gonna run to the bathroom before I start drinking so, yeah.” You stood, practically sprinting to the bathroom. All of your worries were at the top of your mind and there was no real way for you to get past them. 

Maybe you just had to come clean. Get it off your chest. Except that could be the final nail in the coffin. So what the hell were you meant to do? You couldn’t deal with Hailey ignoring you for the rest of your career as a police officer. 

You couldn’t — your thoughts were cut off when the door to the bathroom opened, Hailey poking her head in. “Hey, you ran off pretty fast I just uh, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” She spoke with a light smile, stepping in when you nodded. 

“Oh, yeah I’m uh, I’m good. Thanks.” You bit your cheek, seeing Hailey’s eyes squint before she called out the most obvious lie because of course she did. 

Whether you were fully aware of it or not, Hailey knew you. How you acted when you were lying to someone you were close to. The way you always bit at the inside of your cheek or lip when you were holding something back. 

She just knew. And you hated it sometimes. 

Because why was she able to know you like that but you could barely get a window into her? Maybe you just didn’t let yourself. Too scared of the rejection you’d find in her. 

Or maybe she was making sure you couldn’t. Her own fears keeping her from letting you in. “Okay fine. I just,” you let out a heavy sigh. “Why have you been avoiding me?” You had to know. If it was something that you could fix you’d do it in a heartbeat. 

Her eyebrows just barely crinkled, the blonde girl taken aback just slightly, leaning against the door. “I’m not, well, I’m not trying to. I’m just, going through shit. I promise it isn’t you, y/n.” Hailey sighed out, running both of her hands over her face. 

Faintly you nodded, a silence falling between the two of you. “Oh, alright. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have assumed you were.” Your heart started racing, looking over at her. “Are you alright?”

She nodded, “Yeah, just trying to piece some things together. No biggie. Look I’ll get back out to them, you better join us when you get out of here.” Hailey grinned going to leave. 

“Hey Hails?”

“Yeah?”

“You look really pretty tonight.” You hadn’t been able to tell her recently so you had to take advantage of the opportunity. If the lighting had been better you would’ve sworn that this time a blush went across her face. 

But what did you know? “Thank you, I’ll see you out there.” She said, leaving the room and you to mentally smack yourself as many times you’d like. 

Thankfully though you went back out and joined the rest of the team, more debates over movies and shit still happening. A good half of the time though you just found yourself gazing over at Hailey. Hopeful nobody noticed. 

Except on the way out, you felt an arm go over your shoulder, “So, your crush on Upton, how longs that been going on?” Jay’s voice fully took you by surprise, nearly elbowing him in the side when he first touched you. 

“Jesus- Halstead you can’t just come up on a girl.” You grumbled, taking the chance now to elbow him back. “And I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He wasn’t able to see the way your jaw clenched as you looked down, still walking under his arm. 

Jay laughed, nodding, “Right, look, y/n, I’m just saying. I could see the way you looked at Hailey the same way I can see your car right now. Like it’s under a spotlight.”

You looked up, your car in fact under a streetlight. “She’s a friend Jay, you know what those are right?” Your eyebrow cocked up at the question, Jay nodding slightly. 

“Heard of them here and there. Alright fine, so if I asked Hailey out that wouldn’t bother you? Wouldn’t annoy you?” He was very obviously instigating. This time noting the way you rolled your jaw. “See! Don’t have a crush my ass!” 

Mentally Jay patted himself on the back, happy he got that right before he sighed, “Alright, teasing aside. You should go for it. Maybe it’ll pull her out of whatever mental haze she’s had this past week.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she’s been weird all week. Won’t tell me why. Though it started after you guys went undercover together so maybe it just has something to do with that. Either way. You need to talk to her.” He stopped the two of you in front of your car, gesturing to it. “And I leave you at your chariot, goodnight.”

With a half-assed salute, the detective walked away,

Leaving you to get home for the night. And you sat with what he said the whole ride, and then some. 

You were thinking about it as you got to work Monday, ready to bring it up with Hailey but she wasn’t there, apparently she used a few personal days and wouldn’t be back until next week. 

Jay was working with Voight for the week and things were easy peasy. Except for the feeling that something was bothering Hailey and you were ignoring it. Like a voice in the back of your head was telling you to go check on her. 

A voice that went ignored until Thursday night when you finally decided to get over whatever fear was holding you back and go over to her apartment. 

You didn’t even know if she was home. You barely cared, you’d wait outside her apartment until she got home if you had to. 

You just couldn’t ignore the feeling in your chest anymore. So you knocked on her door, ready to be met with silence but it only took a few moments for the door to open and Hailey to look over you. “What are you doing here?” 

She didn’t sound mad but more so, shocked, surprised someone even checked on her. “Honestly? I’m not sure. I know you took a few personal days but, something felt… wrong? I guess? Like I should uh, should come and check in. How are you doing?”

You thought back to what she said about dealing with something and maybe you were overstepping. But you couldn’t help it. This team was your life. Most of them your family and you needed to be there when one of them needed it. 

Hailey didn’t reply, simply stepping out of the way and letting you in. Slowly you entered, glancing around. It was the first time you’d been to her new apartment, taking in the look of it. 

Under normal circumstances you would’ve commented on it but it felt wrong to do in the moment. Hailey shut the door softly behind you, silently heading into the kitchen. 

You felt compelled to follow, leaning onto the island counter when she stepped around it. “Do you want a drink?” She held up a bottle of whiskey before bringing a couple cups over. 

“Hails,” You asked softly, looking over her. She obviously hadn’t been sleeping much but you weren’t going to let her keep doing it alone. “Hailey.” Your voice more firm, making her look up. “What’s going on with you?”

She wasn’t like this. Hailey upton was put together. She could handle nearly anything thrown at her. Any criminal, any case. The girl had such a strong sense of who she was and what she believed in. That was why she was crumbling. 

Questioning everything she’d ever known about herself. The way she wanted to kiss her. Kiss you. Another girl. She wasn’t used to that kind of thought. And if she didn’t have some voice deep in her subconscious making her second guess everything then maybe she would have done it already. 

Maybe she would have done it the first time you ever called her pretty and she felt the way her chest fluttered. In the same way it had when Adam would wrap her into a hug. 

The second she realized she felt the same way she did with her exes as she did you it was like her stone walls had fell in on one another. 

Not out of shame. Or disappointment. Just out of utter change. Or more so the fear of it. Would this revelation change her as a person? Make her a different person? She didn’t know and that was what scared her. 

“I-“ Hailey started, shaking her head, “god this is pathetic. I’m sorry.” She paused the pouring of the drink, looking up at you. “How are you so good about it?”

Her question threw you off, tilting your head, “Good about what?”

“Being into girls. I just…” Hailey rested her elbows on the counter, hands going into her hair in distress. “I think I might be and it’s scaring the hell out of me.” There was an odd mix of silence in the room. 

Just because you were into girls didn’t automatically make you an expert in helping someone else understand themselves. But you couldn’t just ignore her question. 

Slowly you went around the island, leaning against it while facing her. “It’s difficult. Trust me. I mean, I realized I was into girls back when I was maybe 13? 14? But it’s not like it was accepted. I just had to live with that internally. I’m only good at it, which, is a stretch by the way, because I stopped letting other peoples thoughts influence mine.”

Hailey turned her head to you, nodding faintly, “I just, what if I’m wrong? And I waste y- someone’s time?” She looked away just as smoothly as she had looked towards you, shuffling faintly. 

“You wouldn’t be wasting anybody’s time. How are you supposed to know who or what you like if you don’t try you know? That’s how I found out I was in fact not into boys.” Your nose scrunched up with a shake of the head. 

Part of you wanted to offer yourself up as practice but you couldn’t handle the blow back if it went wrong. Things blowing up and possibly getting hurt in the process. 

The blonde’s head stayed low for a moment before she shifted again, as if something went through her mind. With her elbow leaning on the counter she looked up, “I just, I think I like this girl.” She started hesitantly. “Because, when I see her it makes my heart race. And it’s really, really similar to how I felt with Adam and I'm scared. What if I’m reading things wrong?”

It took everything in you to not frown at her words, because of course if she was into girls it would be someone else. Not you. Instead you swallowed thickly, “I think the only way to tell is to try things out. You know if she’s also into girls?”

“She definitely is.”

“Then I say go for it. Be up front about what you’re going through and most girls will be understanding. Worst that could happen is that you end up not having feelings for her. And if she knows-” You were cut off by the shorter girl stepping forward quickly, her hand pulling you down to her and pressing her lips to yours.

She wanted to do things smoother, ask first, but the racing of her heart and doubt in her stomach needed to be satisfied, relaxed and the only way she could think of was letting herself find you. Letting herself have the one thing she had wanted for months now.

Every small glance, every little compliment. All of it. Hailey Upton knew she had indefinitely fallen for you even if she wasn’t sure what that meant yet. And her lips were familiar. All it took was that one moment together for her to know. She did like girls. She did like you. And if she could, she’d kiss you forever.

JOIN HAILEY'S TAGLIST HERE!

tags: @sorry-i-spaced

[callsign-dexter]

Drunken Confessions

Request: Hi there 😊 aw let me send in a request as well 🤭 you're crushing on your colleague Antonio and him as well. But you catch Hailey flirt with him from time to time, so you end your shift at Molly's and decide to get drunk. The other Intelligence members are there as well and Antonio never lets you out of his sight. So when he sees some guy getting too close to you, he steps in and kisses you, making the guy leave. You're too drunk to process what's going on, so Antonio takes you with him into his apartment and takes care of you till you fall asleep in his bed and mumble something like 'I love you'. Then in the morning you can't remember why you're with him and he tells you what happened and that he loves you as well and that you don't need to be jealous as he'd always chose you 🙊

Pairings: Antonio Dawson x Halstead!Intelligence!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, being drunk, alcohol

Masterlist

A/N: Thank you to @talesofreading for sending this request in!

When Jay joined Intelligence, you had joined as well. You had always wanted to be a detective and when you heard there were two openings in Intelligence you jumped at the chance while Jay got the other one. You are the sister of Will Halstead and the twin sister of Jay Halstead. While working in Intelligence you got along with everyone and you didn’t take anything lightly and did your job well, so well that other departments were begging for you but you just couldn’t leave your family and Jay behind so you turned the opportunities down every time. You promised yourself you would never love anyone in the department not wanting it to get in the way of your work but there was one guy that had caught your eye, Antonio Dawson.

When you laid eyes on him it was immediate love but you knew he probably didn't feel the same way. Sure, you two flirted with each other but neither of you were going to make the first move both too stubborn to do anything. What you didn’t know was the first day you walked into Intelligence Antonio fell hard for you and couldn’t even keep his eyes off of you and when you smiled at him, he swore his heart stopped beating and it was only you two in the room and nobody else. 2 years later you both were still crushing on each other and every now and then you two would flirt with each other you even had been partnered together. Around this time, you had gotten a new person into Intelligence, Hailey Upton, after Erin left, you really didn’t like her, especially how she strung your brother along and then broke his heart, and you were normally very welcoming but something about her struck something in you. Of course you were going to be civil towards her during work hours but after those it was a different attitude.

You had gotten to work early so you could get some paperwork done while you were alone and you also tend to do your best work alone. You walked in and greeted Trudy and she greeted you back and buzzed you up. You went to the locker room and put your stuff into your locker and then walked back out and sat at your desk. Not even 10 minutes later you heard footsteps walking up the stairs and turned to look and a smile broke out on your face when you saw that it was Antonio. When his eyes met yours he smiled “Good morning. I see you’re here early.” He said and you nodded.

“I tend to do my best work when I’m alone. You should know this by now.” You said with a little chuckle.

“That I do. So what are your plans for after work?” He asked coming to sit on the edge of your desk and you smiled and put a piece of loose hair behind your ear.

“Well, I had planned to kick back and watch some mindless tv while eating pizza but we’ll see how the day turns out.” You said and he smiled, the smile that you had fallen in love with. He was about to say something else but the rest of the team walked up and you quickly got back to work he walked over to his desk and sat down you didn’t look up only focusing on the reports being filled out. The only time you looked up was when you heard Hailey giggle and you wished you hadn’t. The scene when you looked up you saw him smile and her push his shoulder you felt your heart break and when he looked over to you, you quickly looked down trying not to let tears fall what you didn’t was his smile fall and the look of concern pop up. He wasn’t listening to what Hailey was saying, just trying to be polite. This went on throughout the day and it only made you feel worse.

“Listen up.” Hank comes out saying and you all gathered around. “We have a drug deal going down and we need to go and bust them.” He said and you all nodded as everyone was going to change and gather weapons and you pulled Hank to the side.

“Hey, do you think I can be partnered up with Jay for this one? Just this one time.” You asked with hopefulness and he looked at you.

“Of course. Everything ok?” He asked and you nodded.

“I just want to be with my brother on this one.” You said which was a complete lie.

“I’ll tell them when they come out. Now go and get ready to leave.” He said and you nodded. You went and got ready and when you walked out everyone was gathered around “I want Jay and Y/N together on this one.” He said and they nodded. Antonio looked hurt but didn’t say anything and that made you hurt inside. As you were heading to the house with Jay, he started to look over at you every now and then.

“Everything alright, Sis?” He asked and you shrugged.

“Everything is fine.” You had said and he looked at you.

“You have always been a bad liar. Now what’s up?” He asked and you sighed.

“I like Antonio and have had a crush on him for 2 years.” You said and looked over at him and smirked.

“I know.” He said and you looked at him surprised.

“How?” You asked, voice raising a pitch and he laughed.

“Come on Y/N/N. We’re twins. I know you too well. Will also figured it out. Now why did you request to ride with me instead of your partner?” He asked and you huffed.

“Hailey has been flirting with him and he doesn’t even stop her. It hurts too much.” You said and he nodded.

“He loves you. He would be stupid if he messes this up with you. Will and I have your back.” He said and you smiled.

“I love you guys.” You said as you pulled up to the house. You all stormed the house and got everyone in handcuffs without having anyone get hurt. The bust was a success but you were still feeling bad and to be honest heartbroken about what had been going on with Hailey and Antonio so you had forfeited your original plans and headed to Molly’s.

You arrived at Molly’s before anyone else so you got to drinking. You went up to the bar and got a bartender’s attention, you had downed the first drink easily when the rest of Intelligence strolled into the bar and they greeted you but when you saw Antonio you quickly ordered a new drink. You had been working on the second one while you mingled with everyone and then you saw your big brother, Will, and some of his colleagues. “Yo big bro!” You said and slapped him on the shoulder and he smiled.

“Hey, Y/N/N.” He said and gave you a side hug and then you noticed Connor and greeted him.

“Hey, Y/N. Are you drunk already?” He asked

“Tipsy. Not drunk.” You said and pointed at them and then laughed knowing it was a lie when you finished your second drink and you were really feeling it and it was making you forget about Antonio. You had gotten another drink while talking to them despite knowing you probably shouldn’t. You three continued to talk until you were called by someone and you bid them a goodbye and walked over to where you were called over to.

What you didn’t know was that he was watching your every move. He wasn't drinking much matter in fact wasn’t drinking at all. “Hey, Jay, your sister is drunk and getting cozy with some random guy that doesn’t look like he is up to any good.” Adam said and he looked over to you and he could tell it and sighed.

“I’ll go do something about it.” Jay said and Antonio shook his head and got up.

“No, I got it.” Antonio said and got up. You had been talking to some random guy on the back of the wall that you were leaning up against and was getting all flirty. The guy was getting all touchy and Antonio didn’t like that especially with how much you had to drink and didn’t seem to notice it. As he got to you neither you nor the person that was hitting on you paid attention until Antonio’s lips were on yours in a searing kiss. You didn’t know what was going on and the guy left the drink you had in your hands long forgotten and it had fallen from your grip and shattered onto the ground that seemed to pull you out of your trance.

“What?” You asked breathlessly and then stumbled into his arms.

“You’re drunk. I’m gonna take you home.” He said and you didn’t say anything and he helped you walk out while telling both of your brothers what was going on and then they bid you both a good night. Antonio helped you more like you leaned on him the entire way to his car. Once he got you settled into the car you began messing with the controls of the air conditioning and then the radio, he sighed but wasn’t going to say anything.

You were close to being at his apartment when you started to speak up “You know,” You slurred “I’ve had a massive crush on you for two years.” You said as your head slowly turned to look at him. “When I saw Hailey flirt with you and you did nothing, I figured I had lost my chance with you.” You said as he pulled into a parking spot in front of his apartment.

“I’ve had a crush on you too.” He said and you scoffed.

“Don’t take pity on me.” You said as you began to struggle to get out of the seatbelt and he watched you struggle but was quick to help you and then he got out and helped you out of the car. He helped you into the building and then into his apartment. Not much was said as he helped in and then he saw your face turn green and he quickly helped you to the bathroom where you had begun to vomit and he held your hair back. When you were down he slowly helped you up and into his bed and pulled the covers back and once you laid down and helped you take off your shoes. You hated sleeping in jeans but right now you didn’t care. “I love you.” You mumbled as he was getting stuff to sleep on the couch and he smiled and then walked out.

The next morning, he woke up before you and began making breakfast and coffee. Thankfully it was a Saturday which means that none of you had to go into work. The smell of food is what woke you up and had you sitting up in bed and looking around the unfamiliar apartment and you got up and stumbled out of the bedroom. When you got into the kitchen you saw Antoino there. “What am I doing here?” You asked him and that made him look up.

“You got super drunk at Molly’s and I decided to bring you here to sleep it off.” He said and you nodded and sat down as he sat down a plate of food and coffee. You started to eat and drink “You also told me you had a massive crush on me for two years.” He said and you stopped eating and looked up at him horrified.

“What?” You asked

“You said-” He began again and you stopped him.

“I heard you.” You said as you swallowed.

“But it’s ok because I’ve liked you, no loved, you for two years too.” He said and your eyes widened. “You also mumbled you loved me. You don’t have to be jealous of her or anyone else. You know why?” He asked and you shook your head. “Because I love you and I will always choose you.” He said as he came over and crouched down to where he was eye level with you. You leaned in and kissed him but pulled back when you felt the beginning of hangover vomit start to make its way up and you rushed to the bathroom. Antonio wasn’t too far behind you and once again held your hair back. Once you were done you flushed the toilet and then leaned back into him.

“How about I brush my teeth and then I can kiss you?” You asked and he chuckled and nodded and helped you up. He pulled out an extra toothbrush and gave it to you and once your teeth were brushed and mouth was rinsed out you turned to him and kissed him. The kiss was full of passion. “I’ve been wanting to do that for 2 years.” You said once you both pulled away and he nodded.

“So have I.” He said and smiled.

Yeah, this was going to be a wonderful start to an awesome, filled with a lot of love, and beautiful relationship.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

[gregorygerwitz]

"Are you sure you've got the right Halstead?"

You know what to do with this.

I wrote vaguely spicy angst! brace yourselves for this one because I'm... sad.

[ i'm in a Will/Mouse prompt mood ]

Getting invited out to drinks at Molly's his first weekend back in Chicago had seemed harmless at the time. Mouse had agreed when Jay texted him without hesitation, without the context for why everyone was getting together to begin with. He wanted to spend time with his best friend and the people he hadn't kept in as much contact with, no matter what the occasion was. A party could be fun, even Mouse could admit that, especially at Molly's.

He didn't ask what the gathering was about.

No one had felt the need to tell him before Saturday night.

He didn't know it was an engagement party.

[ read the rest below or on ao3 ]

The relationship wasn't new, not really. Mouse had heard the name Upton about a thousand times before he even learned her first name. He'd even given the correct teasing comments when he'd gotten the late night phone call about their first kiss. He'd known that Jay and Hailey were together for a year, that things were serious, that they had even started living together, but it had still only been a year. Chicago wasn't Vegas, engagements didn't happen in that short of a timeline for most people.

Then again, maybe he should have known that his best friend, of all people, would move a little faster. This was Jay Halstead he was talking about. Jay was the person who had been willing to let him stay on the couch whenever he was coming down from a bad high, who had given him a job on the up-and-up when he needed it, who was willing to support his stupid decisions no matter how much he might actually disagree with them, who answered every late night phone call with the desire and willingness to listen to every little thing that was wrong in his life. The thing about Jay Halstead was that he was made up almost entirely of love and the capability to feel it. He was the opposite of everything Mouse was. That was why they would have never worked.

Jay was love and welcoming and commitment. Mouse was fear and hesitance and flight. They were completely incompatible. They always had been.

That was why Mouse had run away in the first place.

Jay was moving in with Erin, which was fine. Mouse left so that he could try to grow out of the feelings he'd been harboring. It wasn't a successful attempt, not if the ache in his chest was anything to go by. He was still completely and totally in love with his best friend, who was having an engagement party the first weekend he was back home, and it hurt. It was the same kind of hurt that made him want to run away again, put half the world between them until he could sort himself out.

He could be doing anything that wasn't sitting around Chicago and pining. He could have taken the job they offered him in Atlanta, or Los Angeles, or Seattle, or Boston, or anywhere else. He could have signed on for another tour. He could have settled anywhere in the world that wasn't Chicago. He'd had so many options, and he'd chosen to run right back to the place that hurt him the most on the off chance that he had gotten better at pretending it didn't hurt anymore.

He hadn't.

Mouse could act for a while. He could congratulate them at the party. He could buy a round of celebratory drinks. He could apologize for not bringing a better gift than his own presence. That was the easy part. The first few hours of his performances were always the easiest.

It wasn't until he was alone, sitting on a stool at the bar and nursing a fourth beer, that he let his act drop. Almost everyone had left - Jay and Hailey wanted to go home and celebrate, which made sense; Kim and Adam had to relieve a babysitter; the rest of Intelligence had to be rested in case they got called in to do their jobs. The last person to leave had been Trudy, who had insisted on a welcome back hug despite the fact that the night wasn't supposed to have anything to do with him. After that, it was just him and a few of Molly's regulars whose names and faces he didn't know, and that was his last straw.

He left enough cash on the bar to cover his tab, said his polite goodnights to the people he recognized, and left. There was a hotel room waiting for him not too far away, somewhere cheap he was only staying in until he found a more permanent situation. If he ended up sticking around at all. But a hotel room would be empty, and quiet, and lonely, and there were only so many nights in a row that he could stand to watch Hallmark film marathons without losing his mind.

Girl meets guy. Girl falls in love with guy. Some stupid miscommunication that didn't need to happen. Guy gets girl anyway. Happily ever after.

It had gotten better, in recent years. There were a few queer background couples in the movies that aired later in the night, and he tried not to think too hard about it. There were more movies about the love of family than there used to be, instead of purely focusing on romance. But that wasn't exactly helpful, either, not to him. Romance, family, connections... they were all too hard, or nonexistent, and of the few connections he did still have in Chicago, there wasn't anywhere he could go to get all of the things he was feeling off his chest.

Except for one person who had only made a brief appearance at the party due to a long, exhausting shift at the hospital.

( "hey, look who's back in town. it's been a while."

"yeah. weirdly enough, the army likes to keep me pretty busy."

"at least you made it back in one piece. I know Jay's relieved that he doesn't have to worry about you anymore."

"he didn't have to worry about me in the first place."

"he was going to worry regardless."

"yeah. he does that."

"look, I'm wiped, so I'm gonna head out, but if you need anything my number's the same. and if things get out of hand tonight, this is my current address. bring him by if he drinks too much."

"seriously? I think I can handle your brother drunk."

"but you don't deserve to hear him wax poetic about Hailey until the sun comes up. no one deserves that, actually."

"thanks, Will. I won't need it, but still. have a good night."

"you too, Mouse." )

The address had been typed into the notes app on his phone when it was offered, the device deftly pulled from his hand in a way that reminded him that Will was trained as a surgeon. It was just a harsh reminder that the Halsteads had always been out of his league, some perfect idea that he couldn't reach no matter how hard he tried. Even during their disagreements, they'd all still cared about each other, still held love for each other, still went out of their way for each other. They were his friends, but even that hadn't felt like the right word since he left five years before. There was a distance that he could never close again, and even having the address in his phone, just in case of an emergency, felt like he was intruding somewhere he didn't belong.

The Halsteads were successful, and beautiful, and good people, and he didn't deserve either one of them.

Mouse knew he didn't deserve Jay's friendship, or the way Will had made it clear that he cared, too. Jay was perfect, and straight, and engaged, and protective of everyone he cared about, no matter what they might have done to deserve it. Will was more of a mystery. He was straight, too, or at least leaned that way, if the mention of his engagement to Natalie a few years before had been anything to go by. He made the teasing comments that a brother would. He defended Mouse - usually inebriated, against parents who weren't there to fight back - the way a big brother would, despite actually being a few months younger. In a way, they had taken him into their family when his rejected him, and losing Jay to the joy that came with a partner, and an engagement, and a marriage... what little family he had left was slipping rapidly through his fingers like sand.

He took the address from his notes app and put it into a different app, a rideshare service he never managed to delete. A hotel room would be lonely, but someone else's apartment wouldn't, and all he needed was a couch for a few hours. It could be the same as it always was - he'd borrow a distraction and a place to sleep, and he'd be gone before anyone else woke up. It wasn't complicated.

When he made it to the right building, and up the flights of stairs, and knocked on the door, it suddenly got very complicated.

Will pulled the door open and leaned his weight against it while he took in the sight he must see in the hallway. While his eyes scanned over Mouse, Mouse returned the treatment. Bed rumpled red curls, a bare chest, and sweatpants that hung low on exposed hips were what greeted him, and there was too much alcohol in his system for him to filter the thoughts in his head. Will looked every bit of the Halstead he was - beautiful, warm, untouchable, forbidden...

"What did he do?"

Blinking quickly, Mouse tried to turn the question over in his head until it made sense. It took what felt like well over a minute, the meaning of it slipping away whenever he got close. Eventually, he registered that he had to mean Jay, and the rest of the question was about the catalyst that made him use the address he'd been given but not the number in his phone to provide any kind of warning. And he had an unfortunate answer for that question.

What did Jay do that brought him to that door after midnight?

"He's engaged."

The words felt thick and heavy in this throat, needing to be pushed out with a force he didn’t know he had in his chest. The heartache of the entire situation weighed him down, made everything feel slow and impossible. For over a decade, Mouse had been watching from the sidelines, gazing over at Jay when he wasn’t looking, aching to close the distance between them whenever they were alone. But relationships had left him with few opportunities. His own past had left him with too much fear to act on any urge he had. There, in that apartment hallway in the middle of a quiet night, he’d had enough liquid courage to finally say something, just not to anyone who would actually be able to change his situation, or even want to.

As much as it pained him to see his best friend happy with someone else, he wasn't stupid. Will was Jay's brother. He had no loyalty to Mouse, no reason to even feel bad for him. As far as Will was concerned, his brother was happy, and in a relationship with someone he loved, who loved him just as strongly. That was a win, especially after the life Jay had led, and he didn't owe anyone else anything. The most logical thing to do in that situation, in an apartment building hallway, when Mouse was most obviously more than a little tipsy, was to send him on his way.

He should have just gone to the hotel.

But instead of sending him away, Will stepped to the side to leave enough room in the doorway for him to enter the apartment. It was almost definitely an act of pity, an offer to let him sleep off everything he'd had to drink on the couch so he could leave and pretend it hadn't happened in the morning. At least when he did that almost every other time, he also got laid.

"Let's get you some water. Your head will thank me in the morning."

Mouse frowned a bit at the words but followed him toward the small kitchen once the door was closed. As quiet as the hotel room would have been, this may have actually been worse. At least the hotel room would have been empty. He wouldn't have anyone around to see the state he was in, see the heartache he couldn't hide anymore, see how much the yearning he felt was actually affecting him. He wouldn't have had to show his inner workings to anyone, let alone the only family of the man who had gotten under his skin so thoroughly. He could have been alone in his suffering instead of incurring the specific Halstead brand of pity that gave him safety and company while he navigated the overwhelming emotions.

Like a sad duckling, Mouse shuffled after Will into the kitchen and accepted the bottle of room temperature water without a word. After a few sips, when it became abundantly clear to him that it wasn't actually doing anything helpful, he shook his head and set it on the countertop. A refreshing drink and a night of sleep wouldn't be enough of a distraction, it never was. He needed something more than that, something physical and solid that would actually get his mind to focus on something that wasn't Jay Halstead.

There was a quiet moment, a pause in their already limited conversation. Mouse took a small step forward, closing some of the space between them hesitantly. He didn't normally hesitate, not ever, but there was a lot more weighing on these moments than there normally was. Nothing about this night was normal, not by a long shot.

If he acted on his usual instincts, everything would fall apart. If he went through his routine - a hookup to distract his mind, a night of sleep in a bed that didn't belong to him, slipping out in the morning before the body next to him stirred, and not a whisper of communication ever again. Going through that with Will, cutting off contact the way he always did, would certainly solve his problem. He wouldn't have to watch his best friend be happy with someone else if his best friend was no longer in his life. He could cut the ache off where it started, and disappear into the world without a word.

He was very good at it.

Not letting himself think about it too much more, to keep a different kind of ache at bay, Mouse took another step forward. He wasn't hesitating anymore, more sure of himself while he stood up on his toes to all but crash their lips together. At least, he was pretending he still had the ability to feel confident. He could be rejected at any second, pushed away, kicked out of the apartment and told to never come back.

That didn't happen.

Instead, Will kissed him back.

Will's hands went to his waist.

Will twisted them so that Mouse's back was pinned against the edge of the counter.

It was exactly the distraction he needed. It was solid, and consuming, and he could focus on doing instead of thinking. Mouse could drag his palms over the bare chest that was pressed so close to his. He could tilt his chin further up into the kiss to make sure it didn't end too soon. He could roll his hips forward to chase what friction was offered. It was dizzyingly perfect, and he let himself get caught up in it. Pleasure was always better than pain, no matter how much hurt would catch up to him later.

They moved from the kitchen to the hallway, and then the bedroom, and Mouse gasped for little breaths of air when they finally paused their kisses. He hadn't quite let himself be laid out yet, halfway between perched at the end of the bed and standing, clinging to the arms that were helping him stay mostly upright. If he let go, the leg between his own might disappear, and he didn't think he could keep himself together if that happened.

"Are you sure you've got the right Halstead?"

The question was barely enough to make him pause, the obvious answer on the tip of his tongue. The right Halstead was the one he'd been trailing after for years. The right Halstead was his best friend. The right Halstead was somewhere else in the city. In bed with his fiancée. The right Halstead had found the right girl, and Mouse had known from the very start that the right Halstead would never be his Halstead. So the only answer he could give to Will's question was the honest one, no matter how much it reminded him of the ache.

"No."

The look in the eyes that met his hadn't changed. Nothing about what they were doing had changed. They'd both known the truth before it had been said aloud, and acknowledging it didn't eliminate the tension in the room or disperse any of their arousal. The truth didn't change the desire that had captivated them both, and it certainly didn't stop the kisses from continuing.

Mouse actually felt the corners of his mouth turn upward in a small smile. It wasn't a conscious thing, and it wasn't even all that genuine, just an instinctual reaction to the buzz under his skin. He couldn't remember a time where the act of sex felt bad, and he doubted that would change just because he was more aware than normal about who he actually wanted to be in bed with.

There were plenty of differences between the body in his head and the body in front of him. One was taller and leaner. Had brown eyes instead of grey. Had fiery red hair long enough to grab onto and tug. But as soon as he closed his eyes, his brain could be tricked. A Halstead was a Halstead, and he'd had enough to drink that he didn't care about the differences.

"So... I take it you don't care that I'm thinking about someone else..." He managed the words between kisses once his back was comfortably settled in the blankets. Even when their lips parted, there were brushes to his cheeks, along the prickly hair at his jaw, down his neck. It was as overwhelmingly pleasurable as he could take, the attention making him squirm until strong hands found his hips again. He couldn't grind up into the warm body above his when he was pinned down to the bed. "I never took you to be a casual sex kind of guy..."

"I'm normally not." Will growled out the words just below his ear and punctuated them with a gentle nip to his skin. "But you are. Fair's fair, right? If you get to think about someone else, so do I."

"Sounds fair to me."

"And you won't get offended if I say someone else's name?"

Of all the questions he'd been asked so far that night, that was the one to make Mouse scoff and have to hold back a hysteric burst of laughter. There weren't many people who actually said his name when they were together, not when they were usually just like him, using a night of pleasure to try to forget someone else.

"God, no." Shaking his head, he flashed a cheeky grin upward when the space between them grew just enough for them to make eye contact again. "I was stateside a few years ago, just in Atlanta for a weekend, and I picked up a straight guy. I don't judge. He just wanted something to come into, and I was more than willing. The fact that he thought about the ex he was still in love with didn't matter to me. That was the night that someone came inside me while calling out my mother's name. Trust me, nothing you call me will compare to that."

That was the first time the look in those brown eyes changed. Since they'd kissed in the kitchen, they had only watched him with awe, with a kind of disbelief that he was there at all. It was a similar enough expression to the look on Jay's face when he walked into the bar earlier that evening that he'd actually relished in it. It was close enough to what he wanted that the little differences didn't matter. He would never get the real thing. A diluted version of it was something he wanted to cling to for the short time that he got it.

When things changed, he knew that time had shorted significantly.

"Casual sex, I get. No lasting connections, I understand. But..." Will watched him closely for a moment, the pause brief but present, neither of them looking away. "Being with someone who doesn't even want you... there had to be better options than that. Why go for the guy who doesn't even want to be with you?"

"Because no one wants to be with me."

Mouse answered quickly, his confidence disappearing at the further acknowledgment of the truth. He couldn't grin or smirk or paint on a smile anymore. All the energy he had that night to put on any kind of act was used during the party, when he had to pretend he wasn't dying inside with every passing second. Putting on a brave face was only easy for a little while before it became too painful to keep up.

"Mouse..."

"What? You think I'm wrong?" He shook his head with a frown, the ache in his chest returning at full force. "Everyone I've slept with in the last decade has used me the exact same way I use them. They need a distraction. They want to pretend I'm someone else. No one ever gets into bed with me because they want me. Even the people outside of all those beds don't want me. I'm not delusional enough to be that blind."

When the weight over him started to pull back, he knew exactly what it meant. The opportunity to drown himself in physical pleasure in an attempt to block out the emotional pain was gone as quickly as it had appeared. It had been stupid to think it was going to happen in the first place, if only because everything he'd said had been true. No one had ever wanted him in their bed, let alone in their life.

He hadn't spoken to either of his parents in almost a decade. The man he was in love with was engaged to someone else. Everyone he took to bed closed their eyes and replaced him with something in their imagination. Even that night was going to help prove his point, because he'd been too honest. He'd shown too much of himself, and now he wasn't even worth the effort of a quick fuck.

"Look... I don't know what your intentions were when you came over here, Mouse, but you're not up to this tonight. Get some sleep, okay?"

"Will..."

"I'll leave some water and Aspirin in here for when you wake up."

"I'm sorry..."

"Yeah. Goodnight, Mouse."

He'd been wrong. An empty hotel room would have been a lot less lonely.

[torreshalstead]

It Seemed Like a Good Idea - Chapter 10

Summary - Hailey’s US visa was due to expire, which normally wouldn’t be an issue as the CPD would get it renewed but due to a backlog of paperwork, this wasn’t possible. This meant Hailey was faced with the real possibility of having to leave the country, her job and everything she held dear. That was until Jay offered up a solution which would allow her to stay in Chicago, in Intelligence, with him - they could get married. Getting married was a good idea, right?

Chapters - 10/20

Chapter Title - The Party

Notes - just wanted to give a heads up that the posting schedule for this may change if I get my move sorted but I will post to let you know if it does. Happy Reading ❤️ AO3 Link

What happened next was a blur, there were congratulations from everyone but all Jay was focused on was the feeling of Hailey’s hand tucked snugly into his. She had said loved him. He knew she did, in a friend-kind of way anyway. You don’t become best friends with someone unless you love them but it was the way she had said it. That she loved him and she always would. It had sounded like she meant it.

But she couldn’t have.

She was just playing into the persona that they both had adopted to get her to stay here. It was an act and the words were just that, just words, without the meaning they normally held. But still, his hand was in hers, he was her husband, and the added benefit, he had got the chance to kiss her again.

Adam announced loudly that they were having a party at Molly’s, it didn’t matter that it was barely past noon, they were having a party and it was non-negotiable. Jay could hear Makayla cheering until Adam said that she could only stay for a bit before Jordan, Kevin’s younger brother, would come and pick her up. Even her argument that princesses like parties was falling on deaf ears.

‘We will meet you there,’ Jay said to the group when he realised he hadn’t heard Hailey say anything on the topic of the party. He squeezed her hand gently and she smiled up at him, the gratitude clear on her face.

‘Let’s give the newlyweds a bit of privacy and we will see you at Molly’s,’ Kevin said with a grin.

‘If you don’t show up, we will be coming to find you so be quick, we don’t want to find you in a compromising position,’ Adam said with a smirk and was rewarded with a slap to his arm from Kim.

‘We will see you there,’ Jay said firmly with a nod before tugging Hailey towards the exit of the building.

Hailey had arrived in Kim’s car but Jay’s truck was parked just a block away having driven himself to the courthouse with Will. Hailey was still quiet as Jay held the door open for her and she took a seat. It was their wedding day after all, what kind of groom let his bride open her own door, patriarchal connotations or not.

He took a brief second to steal himself before climbing into the driver's seat.

‘You alright?’ He asked her softly once the doors were closed.

‘We’re married,’ was all Hailey said, her gaze focused straight ahead but not on one thing in particular.

‘Yeah we are,’ Jay agreed, not sure if she was happy or sad or maybe even angry at the situation. He was struggling to read her right now, normally he was the only person who could read Hailey.

‘We’re married,’ she said but this time she giggled. Hailey Upton was giggling at the fact that she had married him - he wasn’t sure how to take that. She looked over at him, and Jay realised his worry must have been painted across his face. ‘No, I don’t mean it like that,’ she said quickly, reaching across to put a hand on his leg. ‘I just mean it’s a bit weird right, like we are actually married.’

‘I guess,’ Jay said, attempting to focus on absolutely anything but on her hand and its warmth against his thigh.

‘I know you said I’m not supposed to say it, but thank you Jay. I guess I never thought we’d actually go through with it but thank you,’ she said and before Jay knew what was happening, she had leant across the centre console and had pressed her lips to his cheek. She lingered for a moment, longer than she had done when she had previously kissed his cheek. When she pulled back her cheeks were a little rosier than they had been before and Jay couldn’t help but smile.

All the other times they had kissed, both on the cheek and when he had actually had the opportunity to taste her lips, it had been part of the act. Either in front of people or as practice for being in front of people. But this was just them. This was Hailey kissing him because she wanted to. She wanted to. And he wanted her to.

‘I think we have a party to get to,’ he said, clearing his throat a little and when she grinned at him, he had to grin back.

‘We should have guessed Adam would do something like this,’ she said, reaching up to pull her seatbelt across her chest.

‘We don’t have to stay too long if we don’t want to, we are the newlyweds after all,’ he said with a wink, shifting his truck into drive and pulling out, Hailey’s giggle still ringing in his ears.

——————————————————————————

Jay drove the long way to Molly’s; they both agreed that the slight delay in their arrival would add to the image that they were madly in love and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They also discussed that their wedding day would likely be a chance for them to be more hands-on and open about their relationship than they had been in the past.

‘So if we need to kiss?’ Jay asked, wanting to be absolutely clear so neither of them got caught in an awkward or a compromising position.

‘We kiss,’ Hailey said with a nod. ‘We can just stick together and go with the flow.’

‘Go with the flow,’ Jay agreed. ‘Let’s go face the music then,’ he said with a chuckle, climbing out of the vehicle and jogging round quickly to her side. ‘M’lady,’ he said dramatically with a bow when he opened her door. He didn’t look up as she took his hand but when he heard her laugh he had achieved his goal.

He’d never tire of the sound of her laugh.

They walked into the well known bar hand in hand and were immediately hit with a wall of noise; cheers, wolf whistles and a sea of people. Everyone they could think of was standing in front of them; their teammates obviously and everyone from the courthouse, the 51 lot were also there along with officers they knew from the district who wanted to give their congratulations.

Jay felt Hailey’s hand tighten in his slightly as they both took it all in but he squeezed it gently and then pulled her into his side, giving her the opportunity to bury her face into his chest under the guise of being overwhelmed - which is exactly what she was and exactly what she did.

‘You guys!’ Jay exclaimed when Hailey had reappeared, her smile back in its position on her cheeks.

They moved towards the group, happily accepting congratulations, best wishes and the odd slap on the back. He could hear people complimenting Hailey on her dress, and he couldn’t blame them, she looked like a goddess. Her cheeks reddened anytime anyone did, her embarrassment clear but they were all speaking the truth.

‘Let them breathe guys,’ Stella said loudly to the group and Jay was silently thankful for it, he loved their friends, he really did but having them all here like this, it was a lot.

Stella led them over to the bar and passed them each a glass of Champagne, ‘only the best for my favourite bride and groom,’ she said with a grin. ‘But seriously guys, congratulations.’

‘Thanks Stella,’ Hailey said but Jay could tell there was something playing on her mind. He assumed it was just being the centre of attention, Hailey was never a fan.

When she was awarded the Superintendent's Award for Valor and had to accept it in front of a room full of white shirts and big wigs and she had been trembling as she took to the stage. Platt had organised a congratulations party for her afterwards but Hailey feigned a headache and didn’t make an appearance. When Jay had shown up at her apartment later that night she had let him know how much she hated it.

A couple of glasses of whiskey later she had opened up and explained how it stemmed from her childhood when being the centre of attention would always lead to questions about her home life which was something she avidly avoided. Jay knew enough about her past to be able to read between the lines and understand why young Hailey would have preferred to stay in the shadows. But he also wished she could see why people wanted to celebrate her now, she was an incredible cop and a wonderful person. She deserved all the awards and accolades but he also knew that old habits die hard.

‘You okay?’ He murmured into her ear on the pretence of giving her a kiss on the cheek, his lips brushing against her ear.

He pulled back so he could see her face and she gave him a tiny nod and a shy smile, he wasn’t sure he believed her but Violet had come over to congratulate them and prevented him from asking any further questions.

——————————————————————————

The next hour or so continued in the same manner. The biggest drama was when Jordan arrived to pick up Makayla and the little girl refused to go before she had a photo shoot with Hailey. She demanded that since they both had pretty dresses on they had to get some pictures. Jay watched from the side as Makayla directed Hailey into various poses and Kim happily obliged to be their photographer. It was adorable to watch and he intended to get Kim to send him some of the shots - the one of them both holding out their skirts as if they were curtsying was precious and he needed a copy of it.

Once Mak had left, getting a round of applause from the group as she walked out waving like the Queen, the music was turned up and the party got far louder than it should be for 3pm on a Saturday afternoon.

Hailey and he stayed away from the dance floor, happy just to watch others indulge and lean against the bar, his arm still firmly around her waist and both of their hands not without a drink at any point.

Suddenly Hermann’s voice came through the AV system, ‘seeing as they are both avoiding the dance floor, maybe they were just waiting for the perfect song for their first dance. I am pleased to introduce the newlyweds who I have reliably been informed are not taking each other’s names but I’m old fashioned so please welcome Mr and Mrs Halstead for their first dance!’

Jay’s palms suddenly went sweaty when the music changed from the dance music that had been playing to a slow acoustic song he didn’t recognise. Hands were pushing him and Hailey towards the space that had been cleared for a dance floor and he realised there was no way they were getting out of this one. He glanced down at Hailey and she smiled up at him with the ‘it’s okay’ look that he had gotten familiar with since they had started this charade. He reached down and gave her a quick peck on the lips and then dramatically offered her his hand.

She blushed but accepted all the same and let him lead her on to the dance floor. The crowd was cheering and clapping for them but he chose to focus only on the woman holding his hand. He spun her around before pulling her into his arms, smiling at the childish giggle she let out. He held her close, an arm around her back, the other holding her hand tight to his chest, swaying in time to the music, letting the words wash over him.

You felt like home

Something so right in your eyes

Starting to believe we were always meant to be

He felt Hailey lean her head against his shoulder and couldn’t resist dropping a kiss to her head. He may be mistaken but he thought he felt her pull herself just a little closer when he did.

What are the chances you and I would be side by side

And I could never count the millions of miles in the world, but somehow

What are the chances you and I would be side by side.

As the music picked up, he was glad when others joined them on the dance floor and everyone was no longer solely focused on him and Hailey. Neither of them made a move to let go of each other however, nor to amend their dancing style to the faster beat of the middle of the song. They continued to sway slowly, their bodies as close as they could be, neither letting go.

Must be more than just right place right time, baby

As the music came to an end, he realised that Hailey had gone stiff in his arms, her hand no longer holding his comfortably but clutching it tightly as if her life depended on it.

He leant down so he could whisper in her ear, ‘Hails, what’s wrong?’ But he just felt her shake her head against him and press herself up against him even further, but it was no longer providing him the joy it was before. It was as though he was her life raft and she needed him for survival.

He was about to ask her again, no longer believing her when she said she was okay but a chant of ‘speech speech’ had started up as soon as the song died down.

‘Come on, time for the groom to give a speech,’ Will said loudly into the mic, having clearly wrestled it from Hermann’s grip. Jay shot him a glare but Will just winked back in response.

Hailey pulled back and pushed him gently towards his brother, the smile on her face small and Jay wasn’t sure it was completely genuine but he couldn't ask her about it now.

‘Fine fine,’ Jay said in defeat, his arms flying up in the air as he accepted the microphone from his brother.

‘I’ll have make it short and sweet because my darling brother here didn’t see fit to warn me in advance,’ Jay said to a smattering of chuckles from the crowd.

‘As many of you know, Hailey and I have been partners for a long time,’ Jay started, thinking quickly on his feet to say something that would appease the group, his eyes fixed on Hailey as he spoke. Kim had come up next to her and had wrapped an arm around her but he could still see that Hailey’s smile didn’t quite meet her eyes. ‘Somewhere along the line, she stopped being just my partner and became my best friend and then we fell in love.’ The crowd oohed and Jay blushed. ‘Yes, we’re adorable. But seriously, asking Hailey to marry me was the easiest and best decision of my life and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with her by my side,’ he finished with a smile, and passed the microphone back to Will.

‘To Hailey,’ Will said, raising his glass in the direction of Hailey. The crowd echoed it back.

Jay strolled back towards Hailey and pulled her into a hug, she responded in kind and wrapped her arms around his back but he heard her whisper into his ear, ‘can we go home please?’ Her voice was quiet and shaky, unlike Hailey’s normally steady tone and her heads were holding on to back tightly, the fingers digging into the fabric of his jacket.

‘Okay,’ he said, not wanting to put her on the spot and question what had changed in her mood from a few hours ago. Taking off his jacket and wrapping it around her he tucked her back under his arm and headed towards the door. It was too much to think they could sneak out unnoticed but he was prepared to take the comments and the snickers as they bailed on their own wedding party, anything to get Hailey out of somewhere she was clearly uncomfortable.

As usual, she was his priority and something was obviously wrong right now.

Lyrics from Side by Side - The Shires

[cantsayidont]

A pretty good movie:

CRUSH (2022): Unmemorable title for a delightful gay teen romcom about nerdy artist Paige Evans (Rowan Blanchard), who ends up on the track team and finds herself in an awkward romantic triangle with hot teammate Gabriela Campos (Isabella Ferreira) and Gabby's sister AJ (Auli'i Cravalho), who is frustrated at always living in her sister's shadow. The actual plot isn't much, in particular a rather contrived subplot about Paige trying to unmask a mysterious graffiti artist called KingPun (whose unauthorized murals on school property Paige has been accused of creating), but a winning cast and a very witty script make it great fun, and it's heartening to see LGBT characters integrated seamlessly into this kind of comedy rather than being treated as tokens or punchlines. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Yes! VERDICT: One of the more endearing teen comedies in recent memory, particularly recommended if you liked BOOKSMART, but wished it were gayer.

A movie that sounded good and wasn't:

GRAY MATTERS (2006): The '00s saw a minor boom in lesbian coming-out movies featuring nonthreatening closeted and/or sexually repressed lipstick femmes, often played by straight actresses. This mediocre entry stars Heather Graham as Manhattan ad exec Gray Baldwin, who has never even considered the possibility that she might be gay until her brother Sam (Tom Cavanagh) gets engaged to hot zoologist Charlie (Bridget Moynahan), whom Gray promptly falls for. Lots of talent, including Alan Cumming, Sissy Spacek, Molly Shannon, and a guest appearance by Gloria Gaynor as herself, but not much energy, and Gray is one of those bland romcom heroines with a handful of harmless quirks instead of a personality. The lackluster script also makes some very questionable creative choices, including trying to convey Gray and Sam's closeness by having them constantly mistaken for a couple (eww!) and having Sam rush to marry Charlie, who then bows out almost completely in the extremely lethargic second half. The third act is further marred by some transmisogynistic nonsense with Cumming sneaking into a lesbian bar in drag, and culminates in Gray managing to find a worse romantic alternative than snogging her sister-in-law. If it sounds perverse, it really isn't, at least not on purpose — the whole movie is so sexually timid that you could probably watch it with your grandma without having to hide your face, and the final scene's contrived faux-uplift feels like a yogurt commercial. CONTAINS LESBIANS: So it says. VERDICT: A lesbian movie for people who have never knowingly met a wlw in real life.

A movie that started off okay, but turned out badly:

THE OTHER WOMAN (2014): Initially silly but ultimately distasteful comedy, directed by Nick Cassavetes, about slick corporate lawyer Carly (Cameron Diaz) discovering that her hunky new boyfriend Mark (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) is actually married, and then bonding with Mark's distraught wife Kate (Leslie Mann) — who soon realizes that Mark is also cheating on her with the imposingly stacked Amber (Kate Upton). Kind of fun for the first hour, with a nice rapport between Diaz, Mann, and eventually Upson; Diaz inevitably seems stiffer than she obviously wants to be in comedies like this, but Mann is frequently hilarious, and Upson does well with her amusing if unchallenging dumb-blond role. Unfortunately, Melissa K. Stack's uneven script then takes some repugnant turns, including Kate deciding the best way to hurt Mark is to put feminizing hormones in his smoothies; an offensive transmisogynistic gag involving Amber trying to persuade Mark to have a threesome with a girlfriend who turns out to be a heavily stubbled man in a dress; and Amber then lying to Mark about having chlamydia so he'll be forced to take antibiotics for an STI he doesn't have. The second half is a weird mishmash of juvenile farce and "Y'know, even middle-class white ladies go to prison for that" wire- and bank-fraud-related escalation, seasoned with splashes of racism. Don Johnson and Nicki Minaj have small roles as Carly's Don Juanish father and sassy secretary, respectively. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Even scenes like Carly and Kate goggling at Amber's bikini-clad pulchritude are painfully straight. VERDICT: Gross transphobia, a very clumsy ending, and too many uncalled-for lapses in taste sour what otherwise would have been a moderately entertaining #girlpower comedy.

[sunshinerapmonster]

The Saregeant's Daughter - Chapter 9 Jay

"you like your job don't you?"

Chicago PD S7 EP15: Burden of Truth

"Yes, Will I will join you at Molly's with the rest," I said walking into the station.

He continued talking as I nodded at Platt she gave a fake smile before going back to order around some other officers.

"Yeah yeah I won't be late," I said before hanging up the phone.

"Morning," Kevin said from his desk.

"Where's Hank, Adam, and Kevin?" I asked as I sat down at my desk.

"Roman"

"Kim ex-partner?"

"Yeah, his sister is missing and they went to the scene of the fire," Antonio said walking out of the lounge.

"His sister is missing for how long?"

"We weren't told how long yet, you and Upton head down to med and talk with the victims that were found shot at the scene"

I stood up from my seat and followed Hailey to my car.

-

"We've been treating at least three ODs an hour, like stopping running water," the nurse said as we followed the nurse.

"This kid who set the fire?" Hailey asked.

"Yeah, Travis Butler. Paramedics brought him in 15 minutes ago, GSW to the stomach smoke inhalation. He's still in surgery, but—this place is too busy" she said.

"Then you see my daughter first"

"No, but my son's in worse condition than your daughter"

There were groups of parents surrounding Sylvie and Emily along with a nurse.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked Sylvie.

"Victims from the fire were brought here, and so was Travis" Sylvia said.

Then two of the fathers started fighting by pushing each other.

"Police!"

"Hey, police!"

I got in between them to separate them from fighting in the middle of the hospital.

"Get off of me!"

"Hey! Police!" Hailey yelled as she grabbed one of the fathers and pushed him up against the wall.

"Police! You need to calm down!"

"Calm down. Calm down" I said turning to the father I had against the wall with my right arm against his chest while I pointed at him with my left finger.

"My sons are in worse condition"

"Calm down," Hailey said as she still had him against the wall.

"Okay"

-

I walked towards Hailey after talking with the other victims. I leaned into Hailey, "No witnesses saw Logan flee"

"Mr.Butler?"

"Yeah?"

"Surgery went well, Travis is stable," a doctor said walking towards us.

"Can I see him?"

"Mm-hmm" he before he walked back to the entrance he came out off.

We followed Mr.Butler to see his son so we could talk to him.

"No, I didn't see where Logan went," Travis said as he looked at us.

He hooked was up to loads of machines to keep track of his vitals and breathing.

"He, uh, he shot me, I saw him leave the room, but that's all"

"How well do you know Logan? You know where he might run to?" I asked him.

"I don't know him at all. A friend of mine told me where to find him. Told me he killed my girlfriend"

"He dealt to her?" Hailey said with her arms crossing against her chest.

"She was happy, she was perfect. Then he started selling to her. He's responsible for this. I was just trying to make it right. I'm going to jail aren't I" he said sighing.

-

"Ann Hoffman, 15. Clarke Preston, 17. Two more ODs were pronounced at Med in the last 24 hours. And their tic report matches our original DOA, Brandi. Mass amounts of fentanyl in their systems" Kevin said pointing his pen at the board.

"Same compound product our dealer Logan Peters is pushing. The kids got a few priors for possession, theft, and a statutory rape charge. He was 23, his girlfriend, 15. The charge was dismissed" Vanessa said pointing at his picture.

"All right, and the pills?" Hank asked.

"Thinking Mexican oxy, Looks feels, tastes like regular oxy, but it's fake. Made with fentanyl, instead" Hailey said.

"Comes directly from cartels, and is dealt to Hispanic gangs in the city," Antonio said looking at a file.

"I got something," Roman said which caused us all to look at him, "Latin players said Logan wasn't getting the product from them. Southside hustlers were granting him asylum"

"Well, begs the question where's he getting his product?" Kim said.

"Witness popped. The guy across the street from the fire says he saw Logan running toward the L. I pulled the footage, he got off at Wilson" Adam said.

"All right, so run all Logan Peters's known associations near that stop. I mean, the guys hiding somewhere, right? We find him, flip him for his supplier, get this product off the street before that board grows" Hank said walking to his Office with Trudy behind him.

-

"DNA found under Sarah's fingernails popped into the system. It was Logan's" Adam said throwing the file onto Hailey's desk.

"All right, somebody tells me we got something on this prick," Hank said.

"We ran the pill we found at the lake house through ISP. They did confirm that it matches our ODS, but it ain't Mexican oxy" Kevin said from his desk.

"That pull is way too sloppy for the cartels, ISP believes it's homemade," Antonio said.

"Might have something, we ran Logan's GPS stats. The tower pings up against known south-side hustler hot spots" Vanessa said walking towards Kim with the file.

"One hit an old stash house leases to a Leon Miller, guys a bit of a heavy known for leasing dope corners. It's a long shot, but that stretch of the city is dead man's land. There ain't nothing there"

"I mean, it's a damn good place to hide out," Adam said.

"Yeah, let's roll on it, Nice work Rojas" Hank said looking at the file that Kim had given him after looking at it.

-

"All right we will take front," Adam said but was cut off by gunshots coming from the warehouse.

We all got down and took shelter in our cars.

"5021 Frank, we got shots fired coming from inside a warehouse at 1600 West Racine. Get us some cars over here"

"Copy that"

"Ruz, you good?" I asked him as I saw him kneel to check the pulse of a body.

"Yeah, I'm good. We got Logan Peters. DOA looks like gunshot wounds to the chest" he said.

We then heard something moving which caused us all to look up to where the sound was coming from.

I followed Kim up with our guns out in front of us, I opened the door and Kim walked in first then I followed behind.

I checked behind her to cover her when we heard something crash.

"Hey. We got a possibility side of of the building" I said into my radio.

"Copy that"

I saw someone walking behind some storage stands, "Chicago PD! Don't move!" I yelled out.

He was then tackled by Kim.

"Don't move, where is the gun? You got the gun" I said as I kept my gun on the subject.

"No, I don't see him," Kim said as she flipped the suspect onto his back.

"Buddy, where's the gun?" She asked him again.

"He's foaming at the mouth"

"What is he, an OD?" I asked.

"I don't know you got Narcan?" She said shaking him.

"No"

"Oh god"' she said flipping him onto his side.

"5021 George, emergency. roll an ambo to 1600 West Racine, we got an OD victim. Nonresponsive. Advice responding to set up a four-block perimeter, we still might have a shooter here" I said into my radio.

"Copy that"

-

"GSR on the junkie is negative," Vanessa said putting the phone down.

"Dude ain't no killer, just a stone-cold addict," Kevin said running up the steps.

"All right, so what do we get on Leon Miller?"

"Confirmed he's the one that's paying rent on the warehouse. It's bad paper, but the money traces back to him. Narcotics says that he's well-established, smart, and strategic" Hailey said sitting on her desk as I looked at her from my desk.

"Hmm"

"He's a good fit for Logan's supplier," I said from my desk.

"All right, so dig into it. See if we can put him or one of his associates at the scene" Hank said.

"Sarge?" Kim said

"Yes?"

"Okay if I updated Roman?"

"Yeah"

-

"Yeah, I'm not sure—"

"Jay?"

"Yeah, whatsup," I said walking down the steps with Vanessa and file in hand.

"Any new leads?"

"No, we can prove that they knew each other from texts and social media, but there's no tower pings, there's no footage, nothing that puts Miller or anyone associated with him near Logan's murder," I said as we walked into the main room of the station.

"Guys," Hailey said walking towards us with Trudy.

"Who was that?" I asked as the man left the station.

"He's a potential witness. He says he was near the crime scene, saw a black Ranger Rover speed away a minute after hearing two gunshots" Hailey said.

"That's the lead we've been waiting for. Miller drives a black ranger rover" Vanessa said.

"Yeah. He also got a partial plate. Time to move"

-

We all pulled to the building and got out of our car with our guns out and wearing our bulletproof vest.

Kevin broke down the door and I rushed in first with Kim and Hailey behind me.

"Police! Gun!" I said as a suspect came out of a room with his gun, he shot at us but I returned fire killing him.

"I got you. Move up" I said to the girls.

"Shots fired at the police" I heard over the radio Kevin.

"Gun!" Hailey said before she returned fire to the suspect and killed him as well.

"Go, Burgess, go, Burgess, I got you," Kevin said.

"Sarge, I got a runner! He heading straight towards you" I said into my radio.

I heard a door be kicked down and the suspect fell to the ground with a loud thump and dropped his gun.

"Don't shoot" he said laying on the ground with his hands up while Hank had his gun pointed at him.

-

"We got Miller on tape eating at Frank's Grill over on Marquette from 12:31 to 2:18. Son of a bitch was telling the truth," Kim said.

"Well, maybe he didn't pull the trigger himself, doesn't mean he didn't order the hit," Hank said looking at Kim's computer screen.

"Hey. We finally caught a break with a bus cam" Adam said walking up the stairs with Antonio behind him.

"He was passing Racine, two blocks out, three minutes after the gunshots," Antonio said.

"Caught this blue Nissan sedan driving westbound. Unfortunately, because of the glare on the windows, you can't make out the driver"

"And the black Ranger rover?" Hank asked

"No? It's just the blue Nissan, no plates" Antonio said looking at Hank.

"Okay, so we start looking for owners of blue Nissans, Hey Kim"

"Yeah?"

"Talk to that witness again, maybe he saw a blue Nissan too," Hank said.

"Copy You"

-

"Where we at? We find any blue Nissan owners with a connection to Leon Miller or the DOA?" Hank asked as he walked out of his office.

"So we went through all of Millers' known associations. Nobody drives a blue Nissan" I said turning away from my screen to look at Hank.

"So, other than the car, the only piece of evidence we got is this witness, Christian Lewis. Who popped out of nowhere and luckily saw a black Range Rover speed from the scene"

"Maybe Miller let one of his associates drive the Ranger Rover to do the hit," Kim said playing with her pend as she looked at Hank.

"It's possible, but Miller seems smarter than that. So that leaves you—"

"the killer drives the same car as Miller with similar plates"

"Or the witness is lying his ass off," Kevin said.

I saw Kim shift on her chair as Kevin said that, she started to play with her fingers and sweating slightly the room wasn't even hot at all.

"Mm-hmm, all right, Kim, you talked to the witness yesterday. Her seem credible to you?"Hank said.

"Um, you know, I-I couldn't tell that he was lying," Kim said lying to Hank.

I let out a small chuckle that only Hailey managed to catch, she gave me that look with her eyes to cut it off.

"but his story did have some holes in it"

"Bring him in," Hank said.

-

We all sat at the church for Roman sister's funeral, everyone in Firehouse 51 where here to mourn the loss of a member's family even though we never met her.

The sound of the church door being opened caused me to turn around, Hank was walking in with familiar women next to his side. Once they got closer to us I was able to make the face it was Madeline.

She was dressed in all black and a long gray sweater she greeted the girls from 51 and took a seat next to them.

I didn't realize how long I was looking at her till Hailey nudged my shoulder.

"Staring is rude" she whispered as she looked at me.

I shook my head, "remember the girl I told you about?"

"Yeah"

"She walked in with Hank next to her," I said turning to face the front.

Antonio nudged my shoulder, "You like your job don't you?" He said.

"Yeah, I do why?" I asked confused.

"Then stay away from his niece," he said smirking at me.

I let out a cough Hailey started patting my back while Antonio let out a small chuckle but covered it up with a cough.

Everyone stood up to talk with each other or talk with the Roman family.

I looked at Madeline was talking comfortably with everyone from 51 and she looked close to Severide.

He greeted her with a kiss on her cheek and a giant hug.

"I never seen her, you know who that is?" Adam asked me as he stood next to me looking at me.

"Voight's niece," I said turning to face him.

"Voight has a silbing?!" He said shocked and confused.

"Antonio just told me I was star stark when I saw her walk in, I know her through my brother," I said turning away and making my way towards Hailey.

I then saw Madelinerun out of the church with her phone by her ear talking almost yelling.

"Duty calls," Antonio said looking at her.

-

I exited the elevator and walked towards my apartment lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice the man in front of me.

"Sorry man," I said

"It's cool," he said blowing before walking towards the elevator.

I couldn't stop thinking about how Madeline was Voight's niece, I couldn't see that many of the same features she didn't even look like him, maybe she knew Erin and grew up with her. I haven't said her name since she left three years ago would it be weird if we ended up dating does she even know about me or even us? Did Erin ever mention this to her?

I poured myself some whiskey into a cup before chugging the whole cup as that thought kept playing in my head with so many different answers.

Jay Master List

intro 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 Book Two

[jareaulamontagnes]

Hailey Upton is going to kick some serious ass in her guest appearance. I’m hoping for a Will and Hailey scene.

[hetagrammy]

More thoughts about my Progressive Era fic idea because I need to dump them somewhere

I got the idea of Alfred being an aspiring journalist/muckraker a la Upton Sinclair who travels to New York to do more research on immigrant life in the city (and more importantly to him, the social problems that go with it). So he decides to reside at a boarding house where the tenants are mostly single immigrants doing “unskilled” labor. He’s focused on getting to the “heart of the issue,” so he kind of initially approaches it in a very clinical way. He doesn’t really focus on them as people. Of course, nobody wants to tell this random boy about their political activities because it’s sus as all hell.

In the process he meets Molly, Tolys, and Lovino. Molly’s kind of the first to take him under her wing because she likes his spunk and has some maternal tendencies. Tolys in turn, because he likes looking after people and has been making sure Molly doesn't get in over her head, is introduced to Alfred and takes on a bit of a guiding role with him. From there Alfred's introduced to Lovino by the two and the group forms.

Molly’s a seamstress, an Irish republican, and a suffragette. She’s in America because she had limited prospects in Ireland, and her brother gave up the land they had to try for work in Belfast. She struggles to reconcile her longing for Ireland with the life she’s built and the opportunity she's found in America that she'd never have gotten if she stayed.

Lovino works as a grocer. He originally intended to stay in America for a short time before returning to Italy and constantly complains about America, but the personal connections he's made with the group start to make this decision harder. He starts entertaining the idea of putting down permanent roots, and seriously realizes this over the course of the story.

Tolys is a factory worker by day and a union organizer by night. He works to keep his younger brother, Raivis, out of the factories so he can continue his schooling and get the education he couldn't before they came to America. He becomes interested and very invested in Alfred's project. However, he's also (ironically) lost a lot of his faith in humanity, and frequently questions whether or not people will even care once Alfred has published

Over the course of the fic Alfred kind of has this arc of realizing that these are multi-faceted people with deeper lives than the difficulty they face at work. They have other problems, but their lives aren't defined by misery. They have complex feelings about being in America, as is typical of members of a diaspora. They also strip him of his savior complex a bit through their own activity, and place themselves on equal footing with him in his project. He gradually grows more attached to and invested in them, and his writing truly becomes about their lives rather than the generic view he originally had of them.

He becomes romantically involved with Tolys as they realize how much they have in common regarding their motivations. Alfred exposes Tolys to a lot of the idealism he'd grown disillusioned with, and Tolys brings him back down to the reality of their situations and gets Alfred to recognize more "human" elements in what he sees. Alfred also becomes very fond of and protective of Molly, and the two come to see each other in a very familial light. He becomes encouraging of more optimistic tendencies within Lovino, while Lovino grows more open to actually reaching out to other people.

I'm thinking I want it to end with Alfred publishing his book and splitting the pay he gets from it equally, which helps the others in several ways (Lovino gets to set up his own business, Molly finally gets enough money to offer her brother a ticket to America, Molly and Lovino have an extra source of income for the family they start to have in general, Tolys can afford to send Raivis to college, etc.) Alfred and Tolys also start living and working together, because it's what they deserve

[sevcasejay1chicago]

I still…. Kelly Severide

Summary: After six months apart, you finally break.

Warnings: mentions of fights, arsonists, and drinking.

Authors note: COMPLETELY based off a prompt list from @dumplingsjinson

Walking into Molly’s always felt like coming home. Though there were some new faces, you recognize many of the patrons from Firehouse 51, Med, and the Intelligence Unit. You had volunteered to go undercover on a four month assignment. Previously, you had been partnered with Jay Halstead, who now works with Hailey Upton. Hailey had been your contact since she was brand new, meaning nobody would know she was part of intelligence. She freely came in and out of your UC house, frequently spending time with you to make sure you were safe and staying sane.

Though four months turned into 6 months, when this opportunity came along, you thought it was nothing short of a blessing. You had just had your heart broken and you were looking forward to getting the hell away from him, but his shadow still lurked around every corner of your mind. Then again, it’s practically impossible to forget someone like Kelly Severide.

The memory of that night came flooding back as you and Kelly locked eyes for the first time in six months.

———

You just arrived home from work. It had been a rough day to say the least. Squad 3 had been on a call with intelligence. The arsonist was target the intelligence unit, mainly you and Jay due to the perp being a old CI that felt he got a bad rap. Kelly decided to throw the guy to the ground when he started yelling and spitting at you as Kevin was attempting to haul the guy to the squad car to pat him down before cuffing him.

Kelly jumped the guy, bringing Kev and the perp down with him. Kelly got a few good hits in before most of Squad finally got him off. Of course, you burst into tears as the weight of the day and the realization of what Kelly had just done made itself clear to you. Jay wrapped you in his arms and ushered you away before Kelly could get a word in.

You hadn’t been home for more than 5 minutes when someone pounded on your door. You grabbed your gun from the dresser and crept to the door, quietly looking through the peephole to see who the hell was banging on your door. Of course, it was Kelly.

You breathed a sigh of relief and slowly opened the door. “Hey Kel.” You whispered, tucking your gun in your waist band.

Kelly walked past you, not meeting your eyes. “We need to talk.”

You nodded, though Kelly still wouldn’t look at you. “I agree.” You whispered, moving to sit on the couch. “What you did today. That can’t happen.” You said, getting straight to the point.

“What?” Kelly said, lifting his eyes to meet yours, his face red as he silently seethed.

“I don’t need you taking down a suspect when we had it under control. Kev HAD him. You didn’t need to jump him just for yelling and spitting at me.” You shook your head. “It was embarrassing to say the least.”

Kelly threw his hands up before running one down his face. “I was standing up for you. I stood up for you. Then you went to Halstead and left with him without a second glance my way.” Kelly shouted, starting to pace as he spoke.

“What are you saying Kelly?!” You yelled back, pissed at his clear accusation.

“Do you like Jay or something? Cause it sure as hell seems like you want him more than me.” Kelly snapped, whirling around to face you head on.

You shook your head. “Oh hell no. After everything I put up with at the beginning of this relationship. The rumors of you being with other woman and having to build my trust in YOU. Now YOUR accusing ME of cheating on you with my partner who had to get me out of there because I was having a panic attack?! But NO you were too busy getting out of control and taking down Kev and the suspect.” You shook your head. “Get out Kelly. Just go. This is done. IM done.” You shouted, tears streaming down your face as you stood.

Kelly deflated, realizing he messed up. He knows about your struggles with anxiety and he knows that this case had been weighing on you and stealing your sleep. Hell, you had stayed at the firehouse multiple nights just to feel safe, sleeping in Kelly’s office while he did paperwork or snuggled up with him in between calls.

“Y/n.” Kelly whispered, coming closer to take you in his arms.

“No.” You shook your head, stepping around him and holding the door open for him. “Please. Just go.”

———

Now, six months later, you find yourself relieved to see that Kelly doesn’t have a girl wrapped in his arms. You have been replaying that night over in your head since the day you left. You’ve been hoping to get this opportunity, and it’s finally here.

You strode over to him, greeting everyone else at the table, before pulling him out to the patio. Kelly sat down, waiting as you downed two shots and then grabbed your favorite drink before sitting across from him.

“First, I need to get something off my chest before we really talk. I just need you to listen, okay?” You asked, not continuing until you got a nod. “I tried to forget you and us when I left, but I couldn’t. I-I can’t. I-I tried to get you out of my mind, thinking there was no way you still had me in yours. I still have your number memorized like the back of my hand. I dialed it many times while I was away, but it- it just didn’t feel right to say any of this over the phone. All I could think about was you. I still remember how you taste, t-the curve of you under my palms; every curve, and every line.” you stopped to catch your breath, tracing the lines in the palm of your hand as you spoke.”I still smell traces of you on my pillows. Your smell ingrained in the fabric, but mostly faded as these months went by. I still remember your little quirks,” you giggled,” which I still find so endearing, even though you find them annoying. I still remember our inside jokes and they kept me laughing through all the tough days. I still remember your favorite songs, the ones we used to sing out loud after you got over your embarrassment in being caught; those were on repeat when I needed to dance it out. I still remember your smile. The soft quirk to it. Like the one your wearing right now. I mean, how could I not? It was the brightest thing in my life.” you smiled sadly and took another deep breath to reign in your emotions before continuing. ”I still remember how you sound. Your sweet voice that you hated listening to when I recorded it, but it kept me afloat. I remember how you were there for me through thick and thin. I still remember how you would be there for me no matter what. I remember how our love was unconditional, un-Until it wasn’t.” you wiped a few tears before continuing. ”I remember that last fight, when everything went down hill. I still don’t fully understand it, b-but I’m trying.” you rushed to add.” I still think about you. Day in and day out. I-I still miss you. I still want you. I still n-need you.” You paused, wiping your tears away to see him clearly as you said,” I-I still love you.” You finished, breathing deep and trying to stay in control so that you wouldn’t break down sobbing.

Kelly sat through your whole speech, tears burning the back of his eyes as he watched you. He could see the difference this undercover op made in you. You were still you, but something bad happened to you while you were under. He could see it.

Kelly stood, smiling sadly as he approached you. He sat down, taking you into his arms as you finally broke down. “I still love you too sweetheart.” Kelly whispered, rocking you back and forth once you got yourself situated in his lap. “Shhhhh. I’ve got you now. It’s over. I’m so sorry. I love you.”

@alicexvrose

[thestarrynightslover]

The Day You Finally Caught a Break

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 1,574

Warnings: FLUFF. Mentions of sex crimes and crimes involving special victims (all very slight).

Summary: After living in a boring routine, the detective (y/n) (y/l/n) catches a lucky break with her colleague Jay Halstead.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: So, this is my first fic in a while and I am aware that it is very cheesy but I just felt like writing something cheesy. Anyways, I hope you like it!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

The day started just like any other would: waking up earlier than necessary, going for a run, doing some yoga, reading, and finally getting ready to go to work. Sure, to a lot of people that might have been a great morning, having all that time to do all that stuff… The only thing was: you’d been running on nothing beyond routine — one that had become quite boring, to be honest — for a couple of years now. Which made you that weird cop who actually enjoyed the worst cases just because it gave you some sort of purpose, some sort of change. Holding that thought, you were supposed to feel lucky once you and your team got deeper into your current case. But, even with the most boring of lives, a person — a decent human being — couldn’t feel lucky for even knowing something like that happens in the world, much less for having to know every sick and twisted detail of a case that involved sex trafficking, pregnant women, all sorts of assault and child abduction.

After it was “over”, around midnight, all of Intelligence seemed to silently agree on staying as long as necessary to finish their reports. Everybody thinking the same way: finishing this today, I can get outta here, get drunk, and put it in a box in the back of my head — where it’ll stay forever. As soon as someone would finish the paperwork, they’d grab their coat, mutter something resembling a goodbye, and rush out of there like the room was on fire. Molly’s wouldn’t be open anymore and none of you really wanted to spend time with each other to risk having to talk out what had happened. And then something strange happened.

Instead of just leaving like your partner Kim and his partner Kevin before her, Ruzek just stood at the door frame, waiting. For Upton. What? He kept looking at her desk so it was pretty obvious but the confirmation came when the detective got up saying: “Hey, Jay, I’mma get going now. You okay if we do our thing some other day?”

By the time Halstead looked up, she was almost reaching Adam which shocked the shit out of you but didn’t seem to faze him much, who only answered: “Yeah. Sure. Night, guys.” And then there were two—the only two Intelligence members who never exchanged more than a couple of polite measures.

Nevertheless, your gossip-starved soul got the best of you, who ended up blurting out a “They’re together?” to no one less than Jay Halstead. For a minute or so the other detective just looked around the room, as if expecting someone to jump out of nowhere and answer your question. But, after your eyes eventually met, he decided on answering.

“Eh… I don’t really know”, he started, while scratching the back of his neck, “I mean, it’s not like I’ve asked, you know?”

“Ah…” Was all you found to say after he stopped for a moment, but he continued.

“That’s just not really how it works between us. But the other day he did show up at her place late at night, which was suspicious. To say the least.” The words just flew right out of his mouth, surprising both of you, who started chuckling awkwardly at the recognition, “this is the first actual conversation we’ve had after all this time working together, isn’t it?”, he asked, ultimately.

“Yeah, I think it is,” you said, now full-on laughing. “God, I can’t believe that the first time I worked up the courage to actually talk to you was to ask for gossip!” You exclaimed, knowing that your cheeks were probably burning up with embarrassment.

“To be honest, I kinda needed to share that with someone. Especially after this moment here.” He confessed, making you laugh and forcing himself to laugh a bit more to try and hide the fact that he couldn’t stop staring at you. It just went wrong when his mouth betrayed him by saying: “You look so damn cute right now!”

"Well, it isn't every day that one finds out that the detective Jay Halstead is a gossip. Which makes me wonder who the cute one really is…"

"Oh, so that's where you're going with this?" He asked with his eyes twinkling. "Because I can prove just how not cute I am…"

"Oh?" You replied simply wondering what kind of proof he could provide against that.

"In fact, I have just the perfect idea, but, for that, you'd have to agree on going out with me first." Jay himself couldn't believe he finally managed to invite you out.

"Ooh, as in a d- date?" Who were you? Stuttering? C'mon!

"A date, yes." He answered, making you feel relieved and nervous again all at the same time.

"Yeah, I, uh, I wouldn't mind that at all. We can try and think of a date that works for both of us…" You suggested.

"Well, on Wednesday I'll be off, how about you?" Jay asked quickly.

"Oh no, that day I have somethings Platt wanted me to do. How about next Monday?"

"That's a no for me, 'cause I'm pulling doubles next week.*

"Damn…"

“Maybe this is a crazy idea but have you finished your report yet?” He asked quizzically.

“Uh, hitting the send button right now. Why?

“Then what if we do it now?”

“The date thingy?” You asked shyly, afraid that had been just a momentaneous thought that came out of his mouth too fast.

At that, he looked at you in awe, mesmerized by how adorable you were. “Yes. The date thingy.”

A million thoughts crossed your mind, including the one that that was a lifetime opportunity and that you should be better dressed, but figuring that saying something like that would only make you miss the opportunity, you settled for asking: “But where would we go? Like, it’s past 1 a.m., Jay, I don’t think there are a lot of places open…”

“Well, I might have a few ideas… Do you trust me?” He asked, holding his hand out to you, who grabbed it at the same time as you grabbed your jacket and purse with your other hand.

“Do you really need to ask that?"

And, like that, some time later you found yourself pulling up to the address Jay had texted you, which was in Canaryville, and it turned out to be an old movie theater that apparently was doing a week of classics with sessions at all times of the day. How Jay knew about that, though, was a mystery to you.

"Hey!" You heard him calling as he crossed the street. "You made a better time getting here than I did!"

"Yeah, well, my car might be faster than your old one," you replied, shrugging innocently.

"Haha, very funny," he deadpanned.

"Hey, this is a cool idea but how did you know it is happening?" You asked, genuinely curious. "I mean, you just don't seem a lot like a movie nerd to me."

"Well, there are still many things you don't know about me. But this one specifically is because I grew up around here and the owner is a friend of my family, so he always lets Will and I know about what's going on with the place."

"Hmmm, that explains it!" You exclaimed with a tad of satisfaction for not being too far off about him.

"But I do enjoy movies, okay?" You made a face of disbelief at him. To which he replied with: "It's true, alright? I'll admit that these days I haven't had much time for it but when I was growing up around here, this place was practically my second home!"

"Oh, so you've brought many others here, I'll assume!" You teased, suddenly feeling more comfortable and consequently more confident.

"Don't! Don't assume that! Growing up I wasn't very successful with the ladies and after that changed I haven't come here often…"

"Ooh, so that means that I'm your first?" You mocked, putting your hand to your heart, "Wow, I'm truly touched now!"

"Yeah, sure, have your fun with me all you want! All I really care about is the fact that I finally managed to get you to go out with me, so I can only hope you'll enjoy yourself." Him saying that, while gazing so intently at you, was making you weak on your knees and got you blushing a bit as well. So you tried to get the attention off you.

"Okay! Then let's pick a movie and watch it already, 'cause tomorrow's probably not gonna be any shorter."

A couple of hours later you and Jay were walking down the street towards a Waffle House while chatting and laughing about the movie like two best friends, which felt really nice but also made you a little confused about the being a date of that date the two of you were on. But, after you both had cleaned your plates at the diner, Jay came onto your bench to clean the corner of your mouth with a napkin, and next thing you knew, you were kissing very passionately in public like a couple of teens, forgetting about the rest of the world altogether, which made you realized, once more, how dull and colorless your life was previous to that moment so you held on to it and you held on to the man behind it.

[fashionbooksmilano]

Fabric of a Nation

American Quilt Stories

MFA Publications, Museum of Fine Arts, Boston 2021, 239 pages, 25 x27cm,

120 color illustrations, ISBN  978-0878468768

euro 60,00

email if you want to buy :booksinprogressmilano@yahoo.it

Made by Americans of European, African, Native and Hispanic heritage, these quilts and bedcovers range from family heirlooms to acts of political protest, each with its own story to tell

A mother stitches a few lines of prayer into a bedcover for her son serving in the Union army during the Civil War. A formerly enslaved African American woman creates a quilt populated by Biblical figures alongside celestial events. A quilted Lady Liberty, George Washington and Abraham Lincoln mark the resignation of Richard Nixon. These are just a few of the diverse and sometimes hidden stories of the American experience told by quilts and bedcovers from the collection of the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston. Spanning more than 400 years, the 58 works of textile art in this book express the personal narratives of their makers and owners and connect to broader stories of global trade, immigration, industry, marginalization, and territorial and cultural expansion. Artists include: Faith Ringgold, Sanford Biggers, Irene Williams, Bisa Butler, Harry Tyler, Harriet Powers, Marie D. Webster, Marguerite Zorach, Dorothy Phillips Haagensen, Rachel Cary George, Florence Peto, Creola Pettway, Susan Hoffman, Molly Upton, Nancy Crasco, Agusta Agustsson, Edward Larson, Michael James, Virginia Jacobs and Carla Hemlock.

01/01/23

orders to:     booksinprogressmilano@yahoo.it

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