#molly still reaching out and wanting to comfort him. because that’s just who he is

[dent-de-leon]

oh my god I just remembered that Lucien playfully asked Frumpkin what his dreams for the future are. He’s so cute, I love those little moments when he indulges in that same love of ridiculous whimsy as Mollymauk—

Also I was going to say it makes me feel some kinda way that Lucien gives Caleb a little nickname too, how something as small and teasing as, “Broody one,” betrays just how much of Caleb Lucien can truly see, how the depths of this wizard’s heartache and pain isn’t lost on him.

But, even more heartbreaking… “Perhaps we’re more alike than you think.” Lucien saying that, even though he can’t possibly know how terribly true it is. Lucien who doesn’t know that Caleb is the only person who would understand how he woke screaming and crying as a child from nightmares of setting his childhood home on fire. Lucien who watched his parents burn, lost his whole family—and spent years blaming himself for it, desperately trying to bend reality to his will just to bring them back.

Never mind that he did it to save himself and his little sister, that he did it to stop them from using his brother’s corpse as an undead puppet—saved countless others from being sacrificed to the same fate. He still hated himself for it, still let the gutting guilt and grief eat him alive. Lucien who is a victim of the Cerberus Assembly and several other very powerful, manipulative mages—just as much as Caleb is.

We’re more alike than you think. Lucien who resents his blood hunter scars and all the Eyes and his own infernal blood—every time he tried to close off his own heart to keep from losing anyone else. It could have saved him, I think. If he knew just how much Caleb would understand. And I think, for his Magician, that shared connection would be a comfort too—

[desideriumwriter]

hi how are you!! i was wondering if you could write a fred x ravenclaw!reader (fem) where they’ve been beat friends since the beginning and they’re already in a relationship but it’s just fred and the reader are reminiscing about life and stuff and it’s just pure fluff? if not that’s ok :))

I’m doing alright! I’ve got a few trips planned for the next few weeks so I’m trying to finish as much stuff as I can. Anyways, ty for the request! This was a cute one to write, who doesn’t love some causal fluff with fred???

I Can See Me in Your Eyes

wc: 1,728 | navi | f.w. masterlist

The summer visits to the Burrow were always comforting. It was a warm and windy evening. Fred had his head in your lap as your back was laid against the broom shed in the back garden. You were raking your hands through his hair.

“Your hairs’ gotten so long.” You thought out loud, brushing away the strands that had been blown in front of his face.

“My mum wants me to cut it soon. She’s never been a fan of long hair.” Fred said as he reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, copying your actions.

“Are you going to?” You asked, mindlessly playing with his hair.

“I suppose I should, it’ll give mum some temporary relief.”

“Temporary?”

“Well, I don’t know how she’ll feel about me and George opening up our own joke shop.” He began to fiddle his thumbs. “Especially with the money Harry won and gave to us.”

Fred and George had been saving up for over a year now. They planned on opening their own store, selling their homemade fireworks and trick candies. They had already made a good amount selling their products over the summer.

But when Harry gave them the money he won from the tournament, it put them ten times closer to their goal. You remember their look on faces once they entered your booth on the express.

The twins both dropped down into the seat across from you, eyebrows slightly knit together and mouths ajar. George was holding a bag in his hands, Fred was staring it down, you heard whatever was inside it clink when he sat down.

“What’s in there?” You sat up straight, a bit confused and concerned due to their faces.

“A thousand galleons.” Fred said, he sounded like he didn’t even believe it.

George still had an iron grip on the money bag, clutching down on it as if it would run away if he let go.

“She’s never been a hundred percent supportive of what me and him do.” He frowned, you removed one of your hands from his hair and held Fred’s hand.

“I think she’ll love it when she sees how successful you two will be.” You reassured him, Molly was always so keen on wanting them to get jobs in the Ministry.

“Bigger than Zonkos.” He let out a breathy laugh, now playing with your fingers.

“Better than Zonkos.” You added.

“Always outsmarting me. It’s summer, you know? I thought you only did that during classes.”

“I don’t outsmart you.” You laughed in disbelief, giving him a playful shove.

“You always know what to do though. You’re always correcting my mistakes, like in Divination in our third year.”

Fred did have a tendency to get things wrong, usually because he was too busy looking at you instead of paying attention to instructions.

“I don’t understand. How’d you get that for yours?” Fred’s eyes darted between your paper to his, comparing your answers.

“Your chart is upside down.” You gave him a pitiful smile as you slid his paper the correct way. The blush creeping in on his face was painfully obvious.

You let him cheat off you for the rest of the year.

He could never remember the dates that went along with the zodiac signs in your fourth-year astrology class you had together.

“No, look,” You said as you pointed to your textbook, “Aries is March 21st to April 19th, that makes you an Aries.”

“Oh, I think I've got it now.” He nodded, “So that makes you a…” It took him a few tries to get your sign right without looking at his textbook.

“Well, it was a tough class, and it was third year. I made mistakes too.” Fred hummed in response, moving his hand up to play with the hem of your shirt.

“This is a pretty color on you. It’s nice to see what you look like in a color other than blue.” He rubbed two fingers between the thin fabric.

“You say everything is pretty on me.” You murmured.

“Cause it is!”

“You’re just saying that because I’m your girlfriend.”

“Exactly,” He reached his hand up, tapping your nose, “what’s so bad about that?”

“Nothing.” You shrugged, smiling at him and admiring how the sun was casting a golden glow on his freckled skin, you stared at his lips.

He noticed.

“Want a kiss?” He gave a knowing smile, causing you to grin, a sudden shyness creeping up on you.

It was silly how he could still make you feel as giddy and flustered as you were when he took you as his date to the Yule Ball.

“Wow, you look…stunning. I’m speechless.”

“Thank you. You do too.” You said shyly, looking down.

“I’m serious, you look bloody gorgeous.” He ran a hand down your arm, you were grinning so hard your face was already starting to hurt.

The compliments didn’t end there, he gave you as many as he could throughout the night.

“You’re staring awfully hard.” You teasingly pointed out, Fred already knew he was, he just didn’t care. You were breathtaking.

“I’m not staring, I'm admiring, sweetheart.” This earned a flustered giggle out of you, not knowing how to react to the pet name.

Fred lifted his head up slightly, making it easier for his lips to meet yours, embracing in an awkwardly positioned but sweet kiss.

You pulled back and tilted your head to get a better look at his face. His eyes were closed and squinty due to the glare of the sun. But he was smiling, opening his eyes as much as he could to look at you.

“The sun in your hair makes you look like an angel.” He admired, you just scoffed and shook your head.

“I’m serious! It makes it look like you’ve got this halo around you.”

Fred had always been creative with his compliments, even if he had to explain them.

“Your smile is like…fireworks.” Fred said, words slightly slurred, he had snuck maybe one too many glasses of his mum's elderflower wine.

“What?” You giggled out, removing your glass from your lips.

“Your smile, it's bright and big and warm, like how fireworks are…does that make sense?”

“Yeah…wait no, wait no I get it, no..I think it does?”

“You’re a sap.” You happily sighed, leaning back against the shed.

“You’re too serious.” He sat up from his spot, now both face to face and still gleaming at you.

“I’ll leave all the bad joke making and pranks to you.” You teased as you played with the collar of his button up.

“My jokes aren’t bad!” He gaped, looking at you in mock hurt.

“Maybe they aren’t all bad, maybe poorly timed.” You hummed, cupping his face with one hand, loving how pretty he looked with the setting sun shining through his hair.

Still, you weren’t wrong about what you said. Freds jokes were always quite funny, just some were said at the wrong time.

“That was my first kiss.” You blurted out after you pulled away from each other, lips still parted.

“I could tell.” Fred teased, he meant it jokingly, but began to panic once he saw your face falter a bit with sadness.

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” He unraveled, “I’m sorry! That was an awful joke!” bringing his hands up to cup your face apologetically.

“So judgy.” He shook his head slightly, a playful glint in his eyes.

“Too judgy?”

“Barely, I’ve been scorned all my life, I think I can handle the heat.” He scoffed; he was right. He was a troublemaker ever since he could crawl. George and him being partners in crime since birth, their mum constantly tried to set them straight.

After departing the train and from the twins, you watched as they both gave each other looks, making small comments to each other.

“The school works quickly with their letters.” George retorted just before they began to walk up to their mum. Who was standing impatiently, hands on her hips and a furious scowl on her face.

“Dungbombs set off in the common room? Fireworks on the train?” She shouted as she shifted her eyes between the two boys. “Are you two dense? Were the amount of howlers sent not shameful enough?”

You’d lost count over how many howlers she sent within the single school year. By the time the fifth one arrived during lunch one day, they didn’t bother to snatch it and leave the hall. They just sat and ate as the letter reprimanded them.

“You know,” Fred said through bites of turkey, “even in writing she can’t tell which one of us is which.” He shook his head, amused. It earned a few good laughs and chuckles from the students around him, from then on, Molly's howlers sent to them just became free entertainment, to them and everyone around them.

“But I may need a present for that little comment you made about my badly timed jokes.” He drew out his lips into a dramatic pout, tapping a finger onto them.

If this was anyone else, you would’ve cringed. However, this was your boyfriend, and you were allowed to act cheesy with him. Instead, you just let out a breathy laugh and rolled your eyes before pulling him into a kiss.

This one was a bit more passionate, a bit messier, a bit more breathtaking.

As soon as you pulled back for some air, a small pebble came flying out of nowhere, hitting Fred in the side of the head. He groaned out and held a hand over where it hit, grimacing in pain. Before you could ask if he was okay, there was shouting coming from the same direction from the pebble that hit him.

You both turned towards the noise, it led back to George, who was standing near the entrance to the garden.

“Oi! Let the poor girl breathe and come help with dinner!” He shouted at Fred.

You accidentally let a laugh slip; Fred looked at you. You slapped a hand over your mouth, still giggling.

“I'm gonna kill him.“ Fred huffed and tried to keep back his smile.

“You're not gonna kill him.“ You let out a breathy chuckle, rolling your eyes.

“Yeah? Watch me.” He grinned and gave you a peck on the cheek before he shot up, beginning to sprint at George.

thank you for reading! tell me what you thought! <3

[tiniedemon]

— ♡

fuck buddy headcanons

kyle broflovski, stan marsh, kenny mccormick, & clyde donovan

— ♡

kyle

— at first he’s not entirely sure about it

— he’s not typically the type of person to be aroused by someone he’s not dating

— after the first time you send him nudes he’s all for it

— acts like he doesn’t know you in public

— but the second you’re alone he’s prying your clothes off

— prefers to schedule things ahead of time

— thinks it builds the anticipation & makes things more exciting

— if he does end up catching feelings he apologizes and breaks things off immediately

— rough as fuck

— will leave bruises but never anywhere you can’t cover

— sees your ass in public and pops a boner

— down to try just about anything as long as it isn’t messy

— requires a condom or he won’t hit

stan

— he’s actually the one who begged you for it

— really shy the first few times but once he’s used to you… oh boy

— more of a sensual fuck than anything

— made the entire arrangement because you looked like a goody two shoes

— the type of person he’d settle down with

— and boy is he touch starved

— will leave marks just about anywhere his mouth can reach

— but especially loves your thighs

— he saw your ass and immediately knew he wanted to fuck you

— pretty face was just a bonus

— if he does end up catching feelings he’d keep it going for a few weeks and then ghost you before he ended it

— his friends shit talk your hickeys not knowing they’re because of him

— down to try most things but is pretty vanilla aside from the occasional degradation

kenny

— freak

— you both kind of mutually agreed you should try the whole fwb thing

— originally you just smoked together

— you took your shirt off in front of him and he decided he wanted you

— everyone knows you’re fucking but it’s never really focused on

— also goes crazy with the hickeys

— down to try anything anytime for any reason

— loves making you beg

— quickies in public

— eating you out is a not-so-guilty pleasure

— loves fucking on molly

— probably also into anal just because he loves the thought of double penetration

— going out with friends is torture because he bought a pair of remote control vibrating panties for you

— obsessed with your boobs

— if he does catch feelings he’d probably propose after a few weeks

clyde

— liked your look and wanted to fuck

— he definitely asked you

— you guys keep it low key but it’s still pretty obvious

— he likes when you don’t wear underwear in public

— bonus points if you take them off in the bathroom and slip them in his pocket

— keeps a collection of your underwear like a trophy wall

— submissive crybaby

— loves when you give him head

— it’s like heaven inside your mouth for him

— especially loves being overstimulated

— cries the second overstimulation kicks in

— god forbid you edge him or he’s a squirming mess

— probably catches feelings after the first few times but hides it (very poorly)

— eventually asks you out if he does but if you don’t feel comfortable he’ll end the whole arrangement

[emeritusemeritus]

Hi I love your work can you do a george Weasley x reader at they wedding day at the end they make out ?

Hello my love! Please accept this gift as a token of my appreciation and forgiveness for taking so long to finish! When I tell you my inbox is FULL of George wedding night asks… keep turned because they are more coming! 🖤

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: none? A bit sexual in places much no graphic descriptions of sex. Wedding day bliss and slight torment with George. Slightly dominant George?

Waiting is the hardest part

You gulped down a sip of your champagne, choking slightly as your eyes fixed upon your new husband from across the dance floor, the hard look in his eyes making you wish that all of your guests could collectively disapparate right now.

It had been a truly magical day, right from start to finish, finally marrying the undisputed love of your life and best friend. George Weasley was everything you never knew you needed when you met aboard the Hogwarts Express on your first ever journey to school. The first meet turned into the first friendship, first friendship turned into first love and here you were over a decade later, still just as infatuated as you were right from the start.

The day was a jubilant celebration with friends and family, held at the Burrow just as you'd always wanted; now an official member of the Weasley family. It was rustic and homely, perfect in your eyes and a perfect representation of George, a little nod to all the summers you'd spent here with the family entwined in the best day of your life. The vows you made to each other were honest and personal, with a formality that Molly had insisted upon, though of course you didn't mind. It was perfect, everything was perfect, even with aunt Muriel there.

George's eyes were burning into your soul, feeling his gaze upon your body with a fiery sensation passing over you, as if he was setting you alight as his eyes roamed your curves greedily. You knew exactly what that look in his eyes meant and you forced yourself to be good, to not squeeze your legs together in anticipation. He looked devastatingly handsome in his wedding suit, a tailored fit that cling to his manly shoulders like molasses, accentuating his best features. Godric you were ready for your wedding night, hardly able to deny yourself any longer.

"Mind if I steal my husband?" You say to Angelina, who had been dancing with George when you approached. Your eyes flickered under your lashes up to George, who noticed your tone and demeanour instantly. Ang was none the wiser and excitedly giggled before dragging an unwitting Lee across the dance floor. George's hands upon your waist feel like a complete juxtaposition of fire and ice, soothing the ache of his touch but also alighting more flames deeper within you. Your arms stretched up to his shoulders, linking behind his head just as they had all those years ago at the Yule Ball when you'd danced together properly for the first time, but that in comparison was much, much tamer than this.

The darkness in his hazel orbs was enough to consume you, feeling like he was ready to devour you completely.

"Have I told you how absolutely breathtaking you look tonight?" He says, slightly breathlessly as he looks across your face and down to your cleavage.

"Not in the last 30 minutes," you smirk, reaching to okay with the little hairs at the nape of his neck.

"Straight to Azkaban for me," he smirks, "you look so beautiful, my beautiful wife."

He knew exactly what he was doing, so smoothly saying 'wife', just as you had moments ago saying 'husband', knowing how greatly it would affect him.

His big hands engulf your waist, etching closer to the curve of your bum with every shuffle as you glide around the dance floor slowly. You push yourself ever closer to the solid frame of his body, pressing your breasts against him as you seek comfort, wanting to feel him all around you. He senses it instantly, no doubt feeling the weight of your breasts against him. It's electric, the invisible spark between the two of you, an energy that seems to vibrate and resonate deep; the undeniable anticipation.

"Ready to slip away?" George says to you, leaning down to whisper closer to your ear, his voice dropping to a dangerous growl that makes you suck in a breath. You daren't speak, hardly trusting your voice and chose instead to simply nod in reply. He smirks, his eyes dangerously mischievous as he takes your small hand in his much larger one and leads you across the dance floor until you were handed over to Ginny for 'safe keeping'. You look around in silent reflection at the scene before you, getting one last glance to commit to your memory of this magical day. You glanced at your loved ones around you, watching your friends and new family mingling and dancing together with wide smiles. There were gifts and cards in abundance, piled high on a table near the back, a cake which had been cut that needed to be sliced and shared, decorations which were to be saved and some to be returned- all of which you knew Molly would sort out for you without hesitation. You couldn't think of those things, only of George and the night ahead.

"Oi Sis! Your carriage awaits!" You hear Fred shout and turn around, realising he was shouting to you, his new sister. You laugh and then laugh again when you realise both he and George are stood beside the Old Ford anglia that had been decorated with thick ribbon on the bonnet, metal cans tied to the back bumper and a huge 'just married' painted across the rear window in Fred's awful writing. George has a smirk plastered on his face as he holds out his hand for you to take whilst Fred stands beside him with a massive shit-eating grin on his face, clearly pleased with his decorations.

You go to take George's hand but hesitate, turning instead to Fred and throw your arms around him, catching him off guard with a little 'oof'. He chuckles and wraps his arms around you in return, being somewhat careful of your dress as he rocks you back and forth in his hold.

"Thank you," you whisper in his ear, knowing how much he'd done for the both of you not just today but in general.

"Take care of him," he says back, knowing that George would the able to hear you speaking this quietly on his left side. You smile, pulling away and give a subtle little nod to your new brother in law, who turns to his twin and slaps him on the back. They share a moment, which you try not to invade and within moments Fred had disappeared and George has opened the passenger door for you.

Your guests line in and cheer as George pulls away, driving down the familiar dirt road away from the Burrow, his left hand resting on your clothed leg as you excitedly wave at your guests. Once you're away from the burrow, driving through the winding roads of Ottery, you finally breathe out a sigh of relief, a smile still frozen on your face from the wonderful day.

"I can't wait to get out of this dress," you say to George, watching the hills sprawling around you at the last sunlight of the day crests disappearing into the landscape.

"My thoughts exactly," George says darkly, his grip on your leg momentarily getting tighter. You cast a glance at him and see that he's hardly paying attention to the road at all, his eyes gazing over your body hungrily. You bite your lip, legs closing as you work to steady your breathing, one little comment from him being enough to renew the arousal you felt.

Thirty minutes of driving felt like pure torture as the unspoken tension increased within the tight space, your need for George too consuming. You wanted him to claim you anew, make you his wife entirely. You were his now, officially, legally, shared his last name and in all the other ways that made his claim on you known.

You couldn't hold in your gasp when George stopped the car, pulling up outside a beautiful little cottage that had the coziest lights on it, a lit beacon that pleaded for entry.

"George, it's beautiful!" You gasped, turning to him with an excited smile that had him chuckling as he killed the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt.

"It's nothing compared to you."

You squeal as you soar through the air, George's strong arms pulling you into a fireman's carry as per tradition as he carries you over the threshold to the little cottage that is yours for the week. The mass of your dress is poofed up around you as he carries you as if you weigh little more than a feather, directing you straight to the bedroom. You hardly have time to look around as he walks directly to the bedroom before launching you onto the huge bed with a boyish laugh. You sit up and watch carefully as he doesn't move, stood resolute at the foot of the bed gazing down at you with hungry, dark eyes.

"I want to remember this forever," he says, the sentimentality of his words hitting you like a freight train. "You look so beautiful, so pure... I want to destroy that."

Your chest heaves to claim your lost breath, the harshness of his words and his eyes making you breathless. His eyes wander your curves in the dress, following a line up from your cleavage up to your face as he finally looks in your eyes. You sit up, finding your courage and begin to crawl over to him, wanting that beautifully tailored suit ripped from his body as soon as possible. His lips twist to a gentle smirk as his eyes follow your every moment. As you reach the end of the bed, your eyes trail up to his, the purest little doe eyes you can muster meeting his much more fierce gaze and you wait...

Part 2 posted HERE for the ✨Smut ✨

[nadinebrooks]

Here is the link to my masterlist. - Here is the link to Part 1.

Fred Weasley x Reader: The Yule Ball Bet Part 2

Warnings: This one has some language (I just feel like the Weasleys don't have the cleanest language) also I know the Yule Ball took place in December, but please don't question the timeline and just enjoy. Thanks!

Ginny Weasley, who had witnessed the confrontation, quickly followed (y/n) out of the Slytherin common room. She found her friend in an empty corridor, sobbing uncontrollably. 

“(y/n),” Ginny said softly, pulling her into a comforting embrace. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. You know I would’ve forced him to tell you if I had known.” 

(y/n) clung to Ginny, her heart breaking. “How could he do this to me, Ginny? I thought he cared about me.” 

Ginny’s eyes flashed with anger. “Fred is an idiot, but he does care about you. I’m going to give those boys a piece of my mind.” 

(y/n) nodded, her tears slowing. “Thank you, Ginny.”

Ginny hugged her tightly. “You’re not alone, (y/n). We’ll get through this together.” 

The next day, Ginny stormed into the Gryffindor common room, fury radiating from her. Fred, George, and Ron were sitting by the fire, their expressions grim. 

“How could you?” Ginny yelled, her eyes blazing. She hadn’t even changed out of her pajamas before coming down to confront the boys. “You made a bet out of her, Fred? How could you think that was okay?” 

George and Ron looked equally guilty, but it was Fred who bore the brunt of Ginny’s anger. “She trusted you. She thought you cared about her. You need to fix this, Fred. And you two,” she said, pointing at George and Ron, “are just as much to blame. You encouraged this.” 

Fred felt a deep sense of shame and regret. “I know, Ginny, I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.” 

Ginny’s brown eyes softened slightly. “You better Fred. Because if you don’t, you’ll lose her for good.” 

Meanwhile, (y/n) was struggling to come to terms with the betrayal. She confided in Neville, who was furious on her behalf and offered unwavering support. 

“You’re too good for him, (y/n),” Neville said, his voice filled with determination. “Don’t let this break you.” 

(y/n) nodded, drawing strength from her cousin’s words. “I’ll be okay, Neville. I just need some time.” 

As the days passed, Fred tried everything to reach out to (y/n). He wrote letters, left flowers, and attempted to speak with her, but (y/n) wasn’t ready to forgive. The pain was still too fresh, the wound too deep. 

One evening as (y/n) was sitting by the lake, lost in thought, she found another note from Fred tucked into the book that she had recently been reading. It read: 

(y/n),  I am so sorry for everything, I never meant to hurt you. The bet was a mistake, but my feelings for you are real. Please give me a chance to make things right. I love you. Your Freddie 

(y/n)’s heart ached as she read the note. She still cared for Fred, but the betrayal was hard to gorget. She needed more time to heal and to figure out if she could ever trust him again. 

Ginny continued to stand by (y/n)’s side, offering support and encouragement. Over the past couple of weeks, the two girls had become extremely close. So close that Ginny invited (y/n) to spend Christmas with her family at the Burrow. 

Fred wanted to show (y/n) that his feelings were genuine, that he truly cared for her. He knew he had a long way to go, but he was willing to wait as long as it took. 

Despite the turmoil, (y/n) cherished her friendship with Ginny and she couldn’t avoid the Weasley forever, so she decided to agree to spend her Christmas holiday with them. She hoped that the holiday would bring some clarity and peace. 

Upon arriving at the Burrow, (y/n) was warmly welcomed by Molly and Arthur Weasley. The cozy home, filled with love and laughter, provided a sense of comfort. However, the tension between (y/n) and Fred was palpable. 

Arthur, who had heard about the situation from Ginny, took (y/n) aside one evening. “(y/n), I want you to know that we all care about you. Fred made a mistake, a big one, I’m not going to defend him, but I do know that he is genuinely sorry. He’s been miserable without you.” 

(y/n) nodded, her heart heavy. “I know, Mr. Weasley. I’ve been miserable without him as well. I just need time to figure things out.” 

Arthur smiled kindly. “Take all the time you need, dear. We’re here for you.” 

As the days passed, Fred finally managed to get (y/n) alone, away from the prying eyes of his family. They stood in the garden, the crisp winter air swirling around them. 

“(y/n),” Fred began, his voice filled with emotion. “I’m so sorry. I was a fool, and I hurt you. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I need you to know that I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment we started spending time together.”

(y/n) looked at him, her eyes filled with a mix of pain and longing. “Fred, I still care about you. But this hurts so much. I don’t know if I can trust you again.”

Fred’s eyes were filled with tears. “I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. I’ll wait as long as you need. Just please, I’m begging you, please don’t shut me out completely.” 

(y/n) took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, but part of her still believed in the love that they had shared. “I need time, Fred. But I’m willing to try.” 

Fred’s face lit up with hope. “Thank you, (y/n). I promise I’ll make this right.”

The day after Fred’s heartfelt apology, (y/n) woke up to the sound of laughter and the sight of snow gently falling outside her window. She had a feeling that today would be absolutely magical. 

She dressed quickly, her heart lightened by the festive atmosphere, and joined the others for breakfast in the bustling kitchen. 

“Good morning (y/n),” Ginny greeted her with a warm smile. “Ready for some snowman-building?” 

(y/n) smiled back, grateful for Ginny’s unwavering support. “Definitely. It’s the perfect day for it.” 

After breakfast, The Weasleys bundled up and headed outsdie. The garden was covered in a pristine blanket of snow, perfect for their winter activities. Fred was already out there, rolling a large snowball to form the base of the snowman. He glanced up as (y/n) approached, a hopeful smile on his face. 

“Morning, (y/n),” Fred said softly, his eyes filled with a mix of hope and nervousness. “Want to hemp me with this?” 

(y/n) nodded, feeling a flutter in her chest. “Sure, Fred.” 

Together, they worked on the snowman, their hands brushing occasionally as they shaped the snow. Despite the cold, (y/n) felt a warmth spreading through her, fueled by the simple joy of being with Fred. Their silence was comfortable, each lost in their own thoughts but content in each other’s presence.

“Hold it steady,” (y/n) giggled, trying to pat the snow into place. 

“I’m trying,” Fred laughed, his cheeks rosy from the cold and exertion. “There, I think we’ve got it.” 

They both stepped back to admire their handiwork. The snowman stood tall and slightly lopsided, with a carrot for a nose and stones for eyes. Fred wrapped his scarf around its neck, adding a final touch.

“Perfect,” (y/n) said, smiling up at Fred. 

“Just like you,” Fred replied softly, his eyes twinkling as he looked at her. 

Ginny watched them from a distance, a mischievous glint in her eyes. She couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction seeing her brother and (y/n) slowly mending their bond. As the snowman took shape, she decided to add a little holiday magic of her own. 

Before (y/n) could respond, Ginny appeared beside them, holding a sprig of mistletoe above their heads. “Look what I found,” she said with a grin. 

Fred and (y/n) both looked up, small smiles playing on their lips as they saw the mistletoe. Ginny’s playful smile was infectious, and despite the initial embarrassment, (y/n) felt a surge of courage. 

“Guess we have to follow traditions,” (y/n) said softly, stepping closer to Fred.

Fred’s breath hitched, his heart pounding in his chest. He looked into (y/n)’s eyes, the world around them fading away. “I suppose we do.” 

(y/n) leaned in, her lips brushing Fred’s cheek in a gentle, tender kiss. It was a simple gesture, but it spoke volumes. It was a sign of forgiveness, of hope, and of the possibility of a new beginning.

Ginny cheered, clapping her hands. “There you go! Now that’s the holiday spirit.” 

As the day wore on, the Weasleys continued their holiday festivities. They built more snowmen, had a snowball fight, and warmed up with hot cocoa by the fire. The house was filled with laughter and love, the perfect backdrop for healing hearts. 

That evening, as the family gathered around the Christmas tree, (y/n) found herself sitting next to Fred. The tree was decorated with twinkling lights and colorful ornaments, and the room was filled with the comforting scent of pine and cinnamon. 

Fred turned to (y/n), his voice soft. “Can we talk for a minute?”

(y/n) nodded, her heart beating a little faster. “Sure, Fred.” 

They slipped away from the others, finding a quiet corner in the cozy living room. Fred took a deep breath, his expression serious but filled with emotion. 

“(y/n), I know I’ve hurt you deeply, and I’ll never forgive myself for that,” he began, his voice trembling slightly. “But I want you to know that my feelings for you are real. They’ve always been real. I’ve fallen for you, (y/n), and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that to you.” 

(y/n) looked at Fred, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. She felt the walls around her heart begin to crumble, replaced by cautious hope. “Fred, it’s going to take time for me to fully trust you again. But I am willing to try.” 

“I’ll wait as long as it takes. I promise I won’t let you down again.” His face lit up with relief and happiness. 

“Let’s take it one day at a time, then.” 

Fred happily nodded. “One day at a time.” 

The evening continued with the exchange of gifts and stories. Laughter echoed through the Burrow, filling every corner with joy. As the night wore on, (y/n) found herself sitting by the fire with Ginny, their earlier conversation coming to mind. 

“Thank you, Ginny,” (y/n) said softly, taking Ginny’s hand. “For everything.” 

Ginny smiled, her eyes twinkling. “That’s what friends are far. And besides, I couldn’t let my brother mess things up completely.” 

“I’m glad I have you in my corner.” (y/n) laughed, feeling a warmth in her heart. 

“And I’m glad you’re in ours,” Ginny replied, giving (y/n) a hug. 

Fred watched two of the most important women in his life getting along. He knew that it was going to be a long haul, but he was willing to do whatever it took for (y/n). 

She glanced around the room before her eyes met his. She smiled and him and his heart started rapidly beating. 

“Merry Christmas Freddie,” she mouthed before turning her attention back to Ginny. Yes, it was a very Merry Christmas indeed. 

[bupia]

Omfg inexperienced smut #8 with Rain ghoul?? I am a closeted rain ghoul enjoyer fkdifjsosks -Molly💜

LINGERIE

"I've been wondering how it feels like."

There's a smut under the cut, +18 only, please.

(Female!Reader: Rain has a tail, horns and a forked tongue!!!! He uses his tail to hold you; praise kink; nipple play; oral sex: m-f; unprotected sex)

Availabe on AO3

Day 17 | Day 19

You had been looking forward to meeting your beloved friend and ghoul, Rain, all day. You'd finished your chores and were eager to spend some quality time with him, whether it was watching a movie or simply talking. Rain, although seemingly shy and quiet around others, became quite talkative in your private moments together.

As you hurried to your dormitory to meet him, you couldn't contain your excitement. The thought of sharing your day and perhaps venting about your chores to Rain was a comforting prospect. You reached your door, swung it open with enthusiasm, and started to announce your arrival.

"Guess who is finally fre..."

Your excitement faded instantly when you spotted Rain standing near your dresser. He had one of your panties in his hand, and his long tail dangled another one from its tip. Your face contorted with confusion and shock.

"What are you doing...?"

Rain didn't respond; he was frozen in place. He didn't even seem to be breathing, with not a single nostril moving to take in air.

"Rain," you said, taking a step further into the room and gently closing the door behind you. "What are you doing?"

"N- Nothing?" Rain replied, his voice tinged with nervousness.

"It doesn't look like... nothing," you pointed out.

"I was just... I was..." his voice trailed off, and he glanced away.

"You were..."

"I was..."

"Yes, you already said that..."

Rain quickly turned to face you, looking directly into your eyes. "I was sent here today to inspect your room."

You burst into laughter. "No, you weren't."

You walked over to him, taking the panties from his tail and returning them to the drawer. Rain lowered his hand, and you placed the pair he had been holding inside as well. He stepped back, and you closed the drawer.

"Are you going to tell me what you were doing?" you asked, your tone calm and understanding. "We're friends, you can be honest with me."

"I know."

"So tell me, what was that?" you pressed gently.

"I just... I was curious."

"Curious?"

"Yes."

You chuckled gently, taking his hand in yours. "What were you curious about?"

Rain hesitated for a moment before answering, "Do you want me to be totally honest?"

"Always, please," you encouraged.

"Okay," he began. "Last week when we were here in your room, you said you needed to take a bath before we could watch the movie I suggested. Then, you didn't close the bathroom door completely, and I... I peeked."

"You what!?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" Rain admitted with a sheepish look, clearly embarrassed about his actions.

Your other hand went to his face, gently cupping his cheek. "That's okay, Rainy. I know you didn't mean to invade my privacy, right? It was an accident."

"No, it wasn't," he admitted, his voice soft and filled with regret. "I really wanted to look at you, but I... I didn't see you fully... unclothed. All I saw was you lifting your habit and the lingerie set you were wearing under it."

"Oh..." you replied, understanding his explanation.

"I'm sorry," Rain repeated, his expression showing genuine remorse.

"That's okay... but this still doesn't answer my question. What were you doing?" you inquired.

"I was looking for it," he admitted with a hint of embarrassment, his eyes averting yours. "Since I saw it, I couldn't get it out of my mind; it was... something else."

"Ah, I see..." you chuckled. "You wouldn't find it here anyway."

"Why?" Rain asked, a bit confused.

"Because I'm wearing it today," you said with a sly grin, adding a teasing wink to emphasize your point.

Rain's eyes wandered over your body, scrutinizing you from head to toe, and you noticed his tail moving slightly, indicating his interest or excitement about something. With a small step closer, you withdrew your hand from his face and his hand, interlocking your own hands behind your back.

"Do you still want to see it?" you asked, your voice soft.

"Maybe," Rain replied, his gaze remaining locked onto yours.

"Well, you can just ask, you know," you suggested with a playful smile. "We're friends; you don't have to sneak around."

Rain nodded, and you placed one of your hands on his chest, your fingers lightly touching the little black scarf around his neck, gently pulling him closer to you.

"Why don't you sit down on the bed, then?" you suggested, your voice low and alluring.

Again, Rain nodded, taking a step back from you and moving to sit on the edge of the bed. He watched you intently as you approached, his eyes never leaving you. You stopped in front of him and, with your leg, gently separated his own, moving closer to him.

"Tell me, why do you want to see it?" you asked, your voice sultry and inviting.

"I want to because... I couldn't get it out of my mind. You looked amazing wearing it, and I... I couldn't stop thinking about how you looked without it as well..."

"Oh, so you also want to see me without it?" you inquired, a seductive gleam in your eyes.

"Yes, should I say sorry?" Rain replied, his voice filled with longing.

"Not at all," you purred, your lips drawing closer to his. "I can take it off for you if you want."

You began to slowly lift your habit, your eyes locked onto his, your movements tantalizing and deliberate. Rain followed your every move with rapt attention. As you began to reveal more of your leg, he reclined his body on the bed, propping himself up on his elbows. You continued lifting the fabric until you exposed the first part of your set – your red and black lace panties.

"Should I keep going?" you inquired, your voice low and seductive.

"Please," Rain replied, his desire growing evident in his heavy breathing.

With a devilish smile, you continued to lift the fabric until your bra was exposed. You could hear his breath growing even heavier as you removed your habit and let it fall to the floor, leaving you in your alluring lingerie.

"So?" you asked, a hint of shyness in your voice.

"It's even better than I remembered," Rain replied, his eyes filled with desire.

You giggled shyly and placed a knee on the bed beside his leg. He straightened his body, and his hands went to your waist, holding you gently. You rested your hands on his shoulders, slowly sitting on his lap. His eyes roamed your body, and you supported your arms on his shoulders.

"Aren't you cold?" Rain asked, his concern evident in his eyes.

You couldn't help but let out a loud laugh, throwing your head back in amusement. Your hands traveled to his face, and you closed the gap between you two with a passionate kiss. You bit his lower lip, teasingly bringing it to you before letting it go, causing him to suck in a breath in reaction. Almost instinctively, he wrapped his arms around you and gently laid you down on the bed, positioning himself on top of you.

"Do you... want it?" Rain asked, his voice thick with desire.

"I do want it," you whispered, your words dripping with seduction.

"Really? Are you sure?" he inquired, seeking reassurance.

"I'm completely sure..." you whispered, biting your lower lip suggestively.

Rain lowered his body, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You eagerly wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you, intensifying the kiss. Your mouths opened in unison, and you granted his tongue entry into your mouth. They danced in a sensual battle, causing you to moan softly against his mouth. He broke the kiss and descended to your neck, kissing it hungrily and giving you slightly nipping bites. You moaned softly, welcoming Rain between your legs. His face traveled down to your breasts, showering them with kisses, while his hands gripped them firmly.

"I really..." Rain began, pressing a kiss to one of your breasts. "Like..." he continued, placing another kiss. "This," he added, showering your skin with yet another kiss. "Set," he whispered before kissing you again. "Of yours."

"Mmm... I can see it, Rainy..." you purred, your voice dripping with desire.

"You look so good in it," he said, pushing your bra down to reveal your already hardened nipples.

"I'm glad you liked it..." you whispered, your voice filled with longing as you gazed at Rain.

Rain grinned at you and continued to press kisses around your breasts and on your sensitive nipples, making you squirm beneath him. He then brought his tail close to your face, slowly stroking your cheek with the tip of it, his touch sending shivers down your spine. The tail moved lower until it reached your breasts, and Rain used the tip to caress one of your nipples. You arched your back, a loud, unrestrained moan escaping your lips as waves of pleasure coursed through your body.

"So pretty..." Rain murmured, his eyes filled with admiration as he gazed at your breasts. "You're so pretty..." he added with a warm smile.

He continued to stroke your breasts with the tip of his tail, moving it up and down your chest. Your head tossed from side to side as you felt Rain's tongue swirling over your sensitive nipple, igniting a passionate moan from your lips. Your body quivered from the intense sensations.

"How does it feel?" Rain asked, releasing your nipple and bringing his hand up to caress your breast.

"Good... So good..." you gasped, your voice trembling with desire.

He resumed suckling on your breast, his hand still stroking your other nipple, while his tail continued to play with your other nipple, coaxing waves of pleasure from your body.

"Rain..." you breathed, your voice filled with desire, as you tried to get his attention.

"Hmm?" he asked, breaking away from your breasts, his eyes locking onto yours.

"I want you... inside..." you moaned, your words filled with longing and need.

"I know," he said, a smile playing on his lips as he gazed at you with affection and desire.

With a gentle and deliberate touch, Rain lowered himself, trailing kisses from your breasts to your belly, moving downward, and down, down your body until he reached your thighs. He took his time licking up your thighs, savoring your taste as he did. His tail snaked around one of your thighs, wrapping around it tightly, while his fingers went to your panties, pushing the fabric aside to reveal your wetness to him. He stared at your glistening core, lowering his face to it. With a lovely touch, he parted your folds and looked up at you, a hunger in his eyes that matched your own desire.

"I've been wondering how it feels like to have you," Rain said, his voice heavy with desire, as he ran his tongue along your slick slit. "To have you on your bed," he continued, giving another sensuous lick. "On the floor," he murmured, licking again. "On a dark, empty corridor," he whispered, his words sending shivers down your spine. "Everywhere, all the time, all day."

"Ah... Rainy..." you gasped, lost in the overwhelming sensations he was creating.

"I've never seen anything so beautiful..." Rain admitted, his eyes glazed with lust as he continued to worship your core. "So wet..." he continued, flicking his tongue across your sensitive clit. "So hot..." he murmured, sucking your sweet juices off of his tongue.

Rain's fingers expertly spread your delicate folds apart, parting them further to give him better access. His eyes smoldered with passion as he took your swollen clit into his mouth and began to suck on it, his tongue dancing sensually over your sensitive nub, igniting waves of pleasure that coursed through your body. You moaned, your fingers gripping his hair tightly as you surrendered to the blissful sensations. He hummed, his tongue flicking faster over your clit, and you closed your eyes, leaning your head back as you whimpered, feeling the vibrations of your voice echoing through your body. The wetness between your legs increased with each passing moment.

"That feels so good..." you moaned, your voice a sultry whisper. "Please, don't stop..." you begged, your body craving more.

"Not until you come..." Rain said, his gaze intense as he looked up at you. "Then we will be able to do this properly," he added, bringing his hand up to rub your sensitive clit.

"Mmm..." you groaned softly, your hips grinding against his hand, your desire palpable. "I want you so bad, Rainy..." you whispered, your voice trembling with longing.

"I'm going to make you feel so good..." Rain promised, his voice laced with passion, as he continued to work on your clit. "I want you to cum so hard..." he declared, taking your clit into his mouth and sucking on it, determined to bring you to a mind-shattering climax. "So... hard..."

Rain moved his mouth down further, his lips and tongue eagerly tasting every inch of your flesh. He used his hand and tail to spread your legs wider, allowing him deeper access, and his fingers began to thrust in and out of you faster and more insistently.

"I want you to feel everything you've ever imagined..." he declared, his voice filled with desire as he continued to pleasure you. "I want you to cum so hard that you can't stand it..."

His fingers delved deeper inside you, his skillful movements driving you closer to the edge. Rain then lowered his face, going straight to your clit, and sucked on it harder, his ministrations becoming even more intense. Your body tensed up, and your hands clung to his hair even tighter.

"I want to taste you..." Rain whispered, his voice husky with desire, as he moved his fingers even faster. "Every drop of your sweet juices... Every last bit of your sweet cum..."

Rain's talented tongue delved into your dripping core, moving in and out of you with sensual precision, each stroke igniting waves of pleasure. His tongue licked your walls and moved in teasing circles, sending you into a state of ecstasy. You couldn't contain your pleasure any longer, and you let out a loud, unrestrained moan, your body quaking with desire.

"Rain... Oh, Rain... You're going to make me cum... Oh..." you cried out as the climax you had been yearning for drew closer with every tantalizing movement of his tongue.

Rain pulled his head back from your core, his tongue lingering on his lips as he savored your taste. He straightened his body, looking at you with a gaze filled with desire. His tail left your thigh, snaking its way around your waist and pulling you closer to him, causing you to gasp in response.

With deliberate sensuality, Rain slowly untied the scarf around his neck, tossing it carelessly to the floor. He then went for his vest, unbuttoning it and leaving it open on his body. He repeated the action with his shirt underneath, leaving it also unbuttoned, baring his chest. Finally, he reached for his pants, unzipping them and allowing his throbbing hardness to spring free.

"I need to be inside you," he began, positioning himself between your legs. "I need to feel you around my cock, so warm, so tight," he continued positioning his member against your entrance. "I need to feel you wrapped around me..." he murmured, slowly sliding his member inside you. "I need to feel you squeeze me tight, I need to feel you take all of me..." he whispered, pushing his member all the way inside you.

"Ahn... Rainy... Fuck, don't talk like that..." you whimpered, your voice trembling with desire as you responded to his words.

"Why not?" Rain inquired, his body lowering onto yours. "Don't you want to hear how I need to feel you cum around me?"

You whimpered once more, your inner muscles clenching tightly around his shaft as he thrust into you.

"Don't you want to hear how I want to feel your whole body trembling around me?"

Rain's thrusts grew faster and more intense, and you clenched around his member once again, your body responding eagerly to his every word.

"Ah... Fuck me, Rain, just fuck me..." you moaned, your words filled with raw desire and longing.

He nodded in response, and with a powerful motion, he slammed his hips against yours, driving himself deeper inside you, hitting your sweet spot with each thrust. You wrapped your legs around his waist, keeping him in place and ensuring that he could penetrate you to the fullest.

Rain began to pump his length in and out of you, his movements growing increasingly powerful and intense. The room was filled with the rhythmic sound of your hips colliding, the unmistakable symphony of your lust. He picked up speed, thrusting harder and harder inside you, his member constantly hitting your cervix, driving you both toward the peak of pleasure.

You had never felt anything like this before, and the intense sensations coursing through your body were unlike any experience you had ever had. Your eyes locked with Rain's as your minds connected, and you allowed yourself to lose control to the pleasure that overwhelmed you. Your hands moved down to his firm buttocks, grabbing hold of his cheeks and squeezing them tightly. He groaned, his face contorting with ecstasy, mirroring your own.

"Shit, you feel so good..." he growled, his voice filled with longing, his tail unwrapping from your waist. "Your pussy is so good, you have no idea how you're making me feel..."

Rain continued to slam his hips against you, his relentless thrusts penetrating you to the very depths, making your muscles contract around his shaft. The heat of his member, the intensity of his thrusts, the sounds of your bodies colliding, and the scent of him surrounding you overwhelmed your senses. You were lost in a whirlwind of desire and pleasure.

"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me," you cried out, your voice filled with unbridled desire as you rolled your eyes to the back of your head. "Fuck me, Rain, fuck me, fuck me, don't stop, fuck me."

Rain continued his relentless assault on your senses, his thrusts growing even more intense, and his hips colliding with yours in a rhythm of unrestrained passion. You were lost in a whirlwind of pleasure, your mind consumed by the sensations of your bodies merging as one, your cries and moans a testament to the ecstasy that enveloped you both.

His fingers dug into your hips, holding you close to him as he continued to drive his length deep inside you. His hands slid along your sides, squeezing your breasts and pinching your nipples, causing you to moan even louder. The sensations coursing through your body were electrifying, and you felt the familiar wave of pleasure building within you, bringing you closer to the peak of ecstasy.

"Oh, you're so tight!" Rain cried out, his voice filled with raw desire as he continued to thrust in and out of you as fast as he could. "I love how you feel wrapped around me... Your pussy feels so good wrapped around my cock! I love how you take all of me..."

"Rain, you fuck me so good, so fucking good... Oh... Oh... Ah...! Fuck me, cum for me, make me cum for you."

As Rain's body tensed and the intensity of his thrusts increased, you knew that you were both on the brink of a powerful release, unable to hold back any longer.

"Rain!" you screamed his name as your climax overtook you, causing your entire body to convulse with intense pleasure. The waves of ecstasy washed over you, leaving you lost in the incredible sensations coursing through your entire being.

His eyes widened as he watched your body spasm under him, your orgasm a mesmerizing sight that drove him over the edge. He grunted loudly, pulling out of you and releasing his hot load onto your pubic mound.

"Fuck!" he screamed out.

Quickly, he lowered his body, burying his face into your core, lapping up all your juices and savoring every drop. The sensation of his tongue on your sensitive core caused your legs to tremble as you moaned in delight.

"Oh... Rainy..." you gasped, your voice quivering as you felt his tongue working its magic.

He brought his face up and climbed on top of you again, burying his face in your neck and biting down on your skin. He closed his eyes, savoring the waves of pleasure between you. Your hands went to his head and you caressed his scalp gently.

Rain raised his face from your neck and locked his eyes with yours. "Please, tell me you have more sets to show me," he pleaded, his voice filled with longing and desire.

You smiled, tracing your fingers along his cheek. "Oh, Rainy, I have plenty more sets to show you," your fingers went to his horns, gently touching it, watching him shivering.

[chaoticace2005]

Thinking about episode 4 and what's to come with episodes 7/8, the Angel-Charlie-Sibling part of my brain really wants Angel to be the one who comforts Charlie. To both to really nail in his character growth as well as bring things full-circle.

In episode 4 (and before that), Charlie is the one to try to reach out to Angel. She's the one who thinks he has the capacity to do better if he tries. And we see with the faces he makes in episode 5 that it means a lot to him. In episode 4 the whole mess with Valentino happens but she's still the one who asks Husk to make sure he's safe. She's the one who apologizes.

Now we have post-episode 6. All hope seems loss. Similar to Angel in episode 4 she's just too tired. Everything is wrong and she's been using a mask for so long. Now the only thing she can do is cut herself off from everyone. If anyone is going to understand what she's going through it's the spider-boy.

Also, Vaggie seems to be gone. Or at the very least, she's not talking to her. In episode 4, we see Angel hand off an emotional Charlie for Vaggie to deal with and put to bed. But if there is no Vaggie right now that can't even be a fallback. Even in episode 6 when Niffty cries he doesn't know what to do and hands her off to Husk. Emotional shit is hard for him to deal with, which makes sense given the fact he's used to acting for so much of his life. Having to be genuine with your feelings is something he probably isn't used to.

Now, with Charlie we've seen that she needs for this to work. Episode 5 really nails in how much, and throughout the entire show we've seen how much hope she has that it will work. She needs to save her people ("more than anything"), now she's back from heaven. The system seems like a lie. And it seems like she just invited death to their doorstep. She still doesn't know an angel was killed in the last extermination, so I'm sure she blames the upcoming extermination as her fault. She talked to Adam. Adam said NO (with a guitar solo) and followed it by saying "killing is pretty fun actually, we'll be back soon :)" She went to have a meeting about saving her people and left it feeling like she doomed them.

The hotel was probably the only thing she was holding on to, and we see in the beginning of episode 5 just how much. The extermination deadline has her freaked out. And beyond the upcoming extermination being part of the plot, it hasn't been something she personally has talked too much about. If she feels like a "failure" in episode 7, this can also be something touched upon.

Everything seems to have gone wrong from her end, and for Angel to just come in and be like "no, actually, my life is so much better. I'm not living with Valentino. I have friends. I'm being myself for once." would just be so cool. Like, yeah, he's not in heaven, but he's not necessarily in hell anymore either. Plus the change from episode 1 where he's like "I'm here for a free room, crack is expensive," would really bring this all around.

I just need more sibling Angel/Charlie. With Molly being a cameo in heaven, I need Brother Angel to happen. He lost one sister, but he has this one. And Charlie has been acting as support for everyone for so long, she deserves the chance to have someone support her too (well, someone outside of Vaggie because that probably wouldn't be too well received right now, so Charlie really lost the only person who she relies on.) And Angel has been the one getting support, so for him to go around and offer it instead would really be a cool way to connect this all back. She believed in him, now he's there to believe in her.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Rewind, Remix, & Replay Jay & Kim 5x11 

This is the to the rest of the series.

I recently mentioned that I had found a fic with the pairing of Kim and Jay. I didn’t like it at first but the more I watched the show the more I felt like they missed an opportunity for a very healthy relationship. This is a series that starts at 5x11 of how I think their relationship would have progressed had it been done.  

I’m writing this as I watch the episodes. I’m almost done with season 5 and have most of that planned out already. This season and the ones to follow are completely new to me so this should be as fun as it is challenging. So everyone that wants to jump on for the adventure- here we go! 

Kim is ready to get the hell out of dodge. Her emotions were whirling uncomfortably in her stomach. She had thought that she had been doing the right thing. She was firm and let Sienna know what she had to do to keep out of trouble. In reality?  

She had got her CI killed. 

All her dreams, of being a chief, making her life better. Kim had killed those too. Even with Hailey's support, Kim was still reeling with her decision-making abilities. How was she supposed to know when to go by the book and when to protect her CIs at the expense of the case? And how did everyone else on the team seem to do it so easily? Kim felt like she was being ripped apart at the seams. 

She stopped when she saw Jay working on his computer. He had been on desk duty over the last month since the blow-up with his CI. Kim had heard he had been sleeping with her. Voight had been pissed and there was clearly a loss of trust between him and Halstead. Kim felt for him, he had been through a lot the last year. Everyone on the team had been silent about it but they knew he was having a PTSD flare-up. 

Kim was bidding him goodbye as she passed his desk. Jay returned the sentiment as he stood up gathering his things and reaching for his jacket. Kim paused and the decision came easily to her. She turned back to him, and he raised his eyebrows in question. Kim noticed the exhaustion painted all over his face when he didn’t have the chance to mask it. 

She didn’t hesitate as she pulled Jay into a hug. A real hug, not one of those halved-assed quick squeezes that some people call hugs. Jay froze jacket still hanging from his fingertips. Kim was a warm heat against him. Her arms wrapped tightly around his waist; cheek pressed against his chest. Most people would have let go with the period the hug wasn’t reciprocated. Kim was a nurturer and more stubborn in her ways than most.  

Jay felt his throat clog up. It had been a long time since he had any sort of friendly physical touch from someone who didn’t want something from him. Whether that be a comfort for themselves or straight-up sex.

Kim’s care vibrated through her. He could feel it now vibrating pure and warm through him. He dropped his jacket on the back of his chair. His arms wrapped around her, his grip tighter than hers. He slumped into her, taking the comfort that she so freely gave. Kim doesn’t let go until Jay loosens his own grip. 

“What was that for?” Kim meets his blue eyes, and he sees the glaze of moisture over hers. 

“Because I needed it. I thought you might too.” She blinks back the tears gaining control over her own emotions. “I know you don’t like talking about it. I get that, I do. But if you decide you want to, I’m always here for you to talk to or just sit with. Whatever you need, Jay. I mean it.” There is a moment of pause and Jay nods. “Molly’s?” 

“Actually, I have something I have to do.”  

Kim sat at the bar a drink in her hand. The team was supposed to be meeting up but so far it was only her and Adam. “Was what you said to that girl about me?” Kim let out a loud breath. She took another long pull of her drink. 

“Yes,” Kim heard Adams hard intake of breath. She had mixed feelings about Adam hearing that. It was a relief because he finally knew how she felt. In the same token she didn’t want to have this conversation. Not when she was already feeling so raw.  

“Wow, I didn’t expect you to actually agree.”She sighed and shook his head. Of course he didn't, even when they were together they were talking and skirting around each other. The deep honesty didn't come easy. And when they finally did have it it didn't come cheap.

It had cost them their relationship.

Kim took another long pull of her beer draining it. She set it back on the bar top.  “Sometimes you just have to cut the thread that ties.” Kim tosses some money onto the counter. “It’s been a long day. I’m going to call it a night.”  

 

There is a hesitant knock on Kim’s door followed by a firmer one. Jay is standing in the hallway of her apartment complex. He holds out a case of beer in offering and gives Kim a noncommittal shrug as she leans against the door jam. “The offer for not talking still good?”  

[goblinpuppy35]

The Punk and the Wolf

(Previous chapter, Part 2, Next Chapter)

Remus Lupin x Male Reader

Summary: Set during OFTP, Y/N is Mad Eye Moody's assistant and while staying at Grimmauld place, him and Remus develop a connection.

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It was past midnight by the time the whole house began to calm down and everyone retired to bed. Since Remus had arrived a few days earlier he was able to claim his room, not that he really cared. He was laying on top of the covers his hands resting on his chest listening to the sound of Molly Weasley trying to get her litter to settle down.

"Now come on boys there's been enough excitement for one day, off you go". A joint sigh could be heard coming from Fred and George "Why do we have to share mum!? We don't mind Harry but you know how loud Ron snores!". With her own sigh Molly replies "Oh hush, your lucky you even have a bedroom, those who only arrived a few hours again are having to sleep down in the living room, do you want to swap?".

Remus assumed Molly was referring to Mad Eye Moody and Y/N. He was tempted to offer up his room, he really didn't mind where he slept since he never got a goodnights rest anyway. His joints would ache regardless. He spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, never quite finding a comfortable stop and in the early hours of the morning gave up entirely. With the soft dull light of dawn creeping through the curtains Remus decides to find something to read. Fortunately he remembered seeing a copy of The Odyssey on Sirius's bookshelf downstairs, though Remus doubted if his best friend had ever given a single book in this house a second glance. 

Remus crept down the stairs, madthodically trying not to make any loud creeks as he went. The silence was deafening and such a contrast to how it felt earlier, full of people, light and noise, now Remus felt like he was walking through a morgue afterhours. First things first a cup of tea, he thinks as he makes his way into the kitchen. His eyebags felt heavy and as Remus pushed open the door he felt like he was sleepwalking, so when he reached out for the kettle and his forehead bumped into something soft he didn't react straight away. His reaction came after a surprised "wooooh hey there" echoed above him. With a mixture of confusion and surprise Remus steps back a little and squints upwards as his eyes adjust to the darkness. 

Above him on the counter is a pair of leather boots, Y/N's boots and Y/N is in them, fully standing on the counter, arms raised and hands burried in the top shelf of assorted packets and food tins. He's looking down at Remus with the same expression a cat dose after they have just been caught pushing a glass off the table. "Oh it's just you" Y/N's breathes in relief and carries on rummaging, "what are you doing here?".

"What are YOU doing here?" was Remus' response, still baffled by what he was witnessing. "I think Molly put a packet of biscuits up here to keep them away from the twins and AHH here we go" with a crinkle of a package Y/N pulls them off the shelf with a triumph and turns around to properly face Remus. Because he was standing on top of the counter Remus had a clear view of Y/N's belt buckle, it seemed to be a bronze engraved plate of a hare curled up. It was handsome and strange, just like Y/N Remus thought and then he became incredibly aware he was staring at Y/N's crotch. He suddenly felt very warm around the collar and wished to be in a different situation. Now that Y/N had found what he was looking for he abruptly sat down on the counter with a little thud and then a whack when he boots hit the cupboard doors below him. This decent now meant him and Remus were the same height, eyes, nose and mouth all the same level to one another now. Remus started to wish he was looking at Y/Ns crotch again, it would be clear how crimson his face was if it wasn't so dark.

"Want one?" Y/N asked raising the packet of what seemed to be chocolate chip cookies towards Remus, Y/N tilted his head and smiled as he said this looking into the older man's eyes. Why did Remus feel so nervous about much a simple question. "Oh no, no thank you .. not nearly enough chocolate for me".

'What a ridiculous response' he thought to himself, mentally putting his head in his hands.

"Ah I see, well more for me then so thank you" Y/N says cheerily, taking one biscuit and then toasting it in Remus' direction before hopping off the counter and making his way towards the living room door. "Umm I don't think we've been properly introduced yet" Remus almost yelps out trying his best to keep the conversation from ending. "I'm Remus Lupin, can I make you a morning cup of tea?", Y/N stood for a moment and observed Remus with a smile, he found this gesture very sweet. "Nice to meet you properly Remus Lupin and yes please that would be lovely, though it's a night time cup of tea for me, you see we only got back about twenty minutes ago, me and Moody do night patrols and then various missions and enquiries for Sirius during the day so I'm afraid we probably won't see to much of each other". Hearing this genuinely made Remus sad as well as a little concerned when he looked up at the clock and saw it was 4:30am, "That's a lot to take on, you must be exhausted".

"No more than everyone else I imagine" Y/N's say through a massive yawn and he arches his back ninety degrees backwards making it crack a little. Remus has never been super flexible, he thought if he tried to roll his shoulders back it would cause an earthquake.

With tea made Remus carries the two mugs through to the living room. As he walks through the door the sight of a slouched snoring Moody in the near by chair made him jump and then instantly laugh softly. "Its okay he wont wake up" Y/N says walking passed Remus, lightly brushing his arm against Remus' he goes. Remus nearly slips the tea from a shiver which goes up his spine. "Once Moodys gone he's out like a light but then again he knows he can here because this is the only place where we are truly safe." while he talks Y/N makes his way to the sofa which has a couple of blankets layed out, he sits down lifting his feet up and over the sofa arm. Remus placed Y/Ns mug next to him on the small table, instead of saying thank you Y/N gave Remus a warm smile and Remus instinctively gave one back before sitting in the arm chair across from him. Despite the bizarre start to the meeting, sitting here with Y/N felt so calm and relaxing.

"So what's your reason for being up so late, early, whatever" Y/N asks as he blows on his mug. "Oh i cam down to find something to read!" remembering this excited Remus and he got up to moved towards to bookshelf , "I noticed there was a copy of The Odyssey, its one of my favourites.... at least I thought it was here, a small paper back copy" he furrowed his brow as he searched. "Do you mean this paper back?" and turning around Remus saw Y/N holding up the exact book he'd seen in between his painted fingers. "Sorry I saw it earlier and its always been on my list and I thought during the few moments Im not running around I could give it a go but here" and Y/N leans forward holding the book out for Remus to take. "Oh no really its fine im sure I can find something else here.." Remus began to say but as he skewered the shelves he realised every other book he had either already read or didnt like, there were even a few old magazines scrolled up and shoved in here. Oh for goodness sake Sirius.

Y/N watched the tall mans face grow more annoyed and smiled to himself. "Heres an idea" he spoke up and draw Remus out of his thoughts. Y/N with his thumb flicked through the book until he reached and end and then shiftily tore out a page, a gasp left Remus' mouth and Y/N chuckled in his direction. "Calm down its a blank page" he whispers as he tears the blank page in two, "since you and me will be up at different hours of the day anyway, why don't we share it. See ill write my name here" Y/N leans down and picks up a pen from the table, "And your name here. There. Two book marks" he beamed up at Remus once he finished his task and this smile made the mans heart melt. Y/N placed his bookmark on the page he had reached and places Remus' into the front of the book before lifting up his hand again waiting for the older man to come and take the book.

Slowly Remus came toward Y/N and started to take the book but stopped when he realised his long fingers were touching Y/Ns hand, he could feel some of the cold metal of Y/Ns rings in his palm. Neither of them said anything or moved for a moment, they both observed the interaction and then looked to one another, their eyes meeting. "I look forward to hearing what you think about it" Remus finally said, still looking into Y/Ns eyes. "Likewise" and finally after what felt like several prolonged minutes they separated. As they did Remus suddenly noticed Y/Ns shirt sleeve fall down a little revealing strange markings and colouration on his arm, it wasnt scarring but there was something unusual there, like a mark? "Well.." Y/N continued to say as he briskly pulled down his sleeve and cleared his throat, "I think ive got about two hours before me and Moody have to be up again."

Remus nods "of course, sleep well Y/N" and he walks out of the room holding the book to his chest with both hands. As much as he would have liked to stay and talked to the charming and peculiar man he also liked the idea of Y/N getting some rest. Remus spent the rest of the day with The Odyssey his is cardigan pocket, running his thumb over the spine. When night fell he was laying on his bed reading it though with every paragraph he imagined Y/N reading it and wondered what he thought. Did he laugh at the same bits he did, did the same quotes stay in his head too? Without evening realising Remus drifted off playing these questions over and over in his head.

It was the birds chirping which woke him up the next morning. Quickly he sat up and looked at the alarm clock. 6:30am. Shit. With a brisk pace Remus came down the stairs and instantly saw the living room door wide open, blankets draped everywhere. They were gone. Shit. He sighed in frustration and at a slower pace wondered into the kitchen to switch the kettle on. Similar to before he reached out towards the counter and then was taken aback though the cause was not a midnight snack thief this time. Resting against the kettle was a full packet of double chocolate biscuits and there was a note.

"Saw these when we were out and thought of you. Hope they meet your insanely high standards for biscuits! :) - Y/N"

Remus began to beam from ear to ear. It had been a long time since someone had given him a gift, even if it was just food. Only one thing kept swimming around in his head at this moment. "I think I'm really falling for this guy. Shit."

[jasntodds]

Petrichor [5]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 14,714

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, a little bit of angst, ngl it gets a little cheesy but Jason is cheesy so here we are, little bit of violence, blood, this chapter is where the flashbacks in s03e05 start but I am stretching the timeline just a little bit

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: Enjoy because we’re almost to the angst lol I hope you guys like it!! If you want context from book 1, let me know and I’ll tell you!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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It’s been a month since Jason’s birthday and the two of you have been happy in your current state. You both hold onto your friends with benefits arrangement like it’s in a vice, denying of you being a couple whenever it’s brought up. Molly brings it up to the both of you every so often, questioning what the hell is going on.

You might not be doing anything in public, but she sees the way Jason reaches for your hand all the time and the way his hand rests on the small of your back or on your knee when you’re all hanging out. And she sees the way you beam when he talks and the way you nudge him with your shoulder, the way you practically sit on top of him and reach for his hand. You both make it so obvious it’s almost painful. Even Bruce has noticed and he’s just as confused as Molly is but he doesn’t pester you about it. Instead, Bruce has a fond smile whenever he sees you together because at least you’re both happy.

But, while you’re happy together, Jason is still struggling. His nightmares are persistent, he still wakes up in a sweat screaming most nights. At one point, he tried to avoid sleeping with you entirely because he keeps waking you up and it’s not fair to you. He is not your responsibility. But, you’re very convincing and reassuring. You promised him you’d be there anyway because that’s what people do when they care about someone. You’re very convincing. But, then his hands shake and his chest gets so heavy he can’t breathe. It’s paralyzing and he knows Bruce has noticed, too.

Bruce has taken notice in Jason and you not sleeping in separate rooms anymore. He’s heard Jason screaming in the middle of the night. He sees Jason’s hands shake on patrol and in training. He’s noticed the limp. Jason seems physically fine but Bruce is no stranger to the harm someone’s mental state can cause them. And Jason knows Bruce has noticed, he was not dubbed the world’s greatest detective for no reason. And that scares Jason even more because he’s afraid it’s only a matter of time before Bruce gives up on him.

He’ll make Jason hang up the suit, find a new Robin who’s not scared of everything. So, Jason tries even harder. He trains harder and more often, him and you patrol together on nights Bruce doesn’t, which means he’s patrolling every single night, no breaks. You notice but when you ask, Jason brushes it off and says he’s just wanting to train a little more to be prepared. He’s very convincing, too.

While Jason is still struggling, You’ve been getting a little bit better. You swore coming back home, it would be different. You can’t run from everything the rest of your life and you don’t want to. So, you deal with it. You have a nightmare and you tell Jason the details about it and you talk about it. Gar was right, it does help a lot more than you actually thought it would. And when you feel paranoid about Jerry showing up or someone recognizing you from patrol, you tell Jason and he reassures you because no one has ever figured out about him, Bruce, or Dick. You wear a mask and no identifiable clothes. You’re safe. And you tell Molly what happened, in small pieces, but you tell her just leaving out the powers and such. And it seems to help.

You’re comfortable here. You’re comfortable in Gotham, at the manor surprisingly, with Jason, and with Molly. You have nightmares and the paranoia is real, but it’s getting better. You keep up with Gar and the other Titans and things feel like they might be okay again one day.

Tonight, though, you and Jason are on another bust without Bruce. It’s not something big or anything, just some run-of-the-mill guys who have nothing better to do than deal laced drugs to kids. So, you’re here to put a stop to it. And it’s going well, until it isn’t.

Jason is supposed to be handling half of them and you handle the other half. It’s how you do this and you watch each other in case things go south. But, you’re holding your own just fine until you hear Jason groan from behind you.

It’s a reflex.

You can’t help it but you hear him and you have to turn to look because Jason should be fine. But, you look over and he’s on the ground, and that gives the guy you’re fighting enough time to grab you, despite the throbbing in your head. He yanks your arm and twists it behind your back. You let out a scream in response, feeling your arm bending too far in the wrong direction.

Jason is on the ground, taking the blow to his stomach and the scream you let out nearly shatters his entire being. But, it switches something in him, allowing him to get up and start fighting. His hands shake so bad he’s surprised he can land a single punch and you allow your hands to glow, shooting acid behind you and hitting the guy in the leg. He drops your arm, screaming in agony from behind you.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jason looks you over as he reaches you, his hands as if on instinct, cup your cheeks softly. His gloves touch your mask and you see the panic trenching his face.

That’s not normal, Jason doesn’t panic.

His eyes scan over you, frantic as if panicked you’re been seriously injured. He doesn’t see any injury besides a small cut near your eyebrow or anything to indicate a red flag. But you screamed and you’re very good at not reacting to pain in these situations.

“I’m fine.” You brush it off, trying your best to ignore the throbbing in your shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”

Jason agrees and the two of you finish tying up the men for the GCPD to deal with when they show up and you head back. Jason can feel your grip on him looser than normal and the guilt starts to chew at him. You’re good on your own usually, especially with these guys. They’re easy. But, Jason knows he groaned and he’s thinking that grabbed your attention. You were going to bail him out and it got you hurt. This is his fault and it’s not fair.

Back at the manor, you both change and meet in the bathroom to clean each other up. You take a seat on the counter while Jason grabs the supplies and he hasn’t said a single word.

“You okay, Jay?” Your voice is hesitant, knowing he’s definitely not. Jason is only quiet when he’s trapped in his own head.

“Fucking fine.” Jason mutters, looking at the blood by your eye. It’s the only cut and it’s small but it’s enough.

“Are you sure? You don’t seem fine.” You eye him carefully and you know him better than you know yourself most of the time. You got hurt and he’s blaming himself.

Jason grits his teeth. “How’d you get hurt?” Jason nearly seethes.

“I don’t know. He grabbed me.” You shrug your shoulders, brows pulled together in a tight line.

“Bullshit.” Jason scoffs. “You can feel that shit.”

You chew the inside of your cheek and you have to tell him. “I heard you, looked to make sure you were okay.”

“Fuck.” Jason lets out a groan, running a shaking hand through his hair and he’s supposed to protect you. And instead, he’s the one getting you injured.

“It’s not your fault, Jay. I’m fine. It’s just a little sore, it’s not a big deal.” You assure him and you’re certain it’s fine because it doesn’t feel like it’s dislocated again. It’s just a little sore.

“Yeah, but you got hurt because of me!”

“Not because of you.” You argue. And your heart plummets in your stomach.

He can’t do this. He cares too much about you. He can’t do it. He cannot let you get hurt because of him again. This isn’t fair and it hurts so fucking bad that he can feel tears brim behind his eyes. He likes you so much it’s agonizing. Jason is so sure his heart will only ever beat for yours but he finds himself ready to quit and push and scream. Just like he always does because he fucking can’t. This isn’t fair to you. You deserve better. And there’s you who can see it across his face.

Jason is very good with hiding his emotions sometimes. It’s like he just does it, effortlessly and maybe it’s because that was always easier than showing them. Maybe showing them always got him hurt. Being vulnerable and honest can lead to heartbreak and you know Jason has too much experience with it. But his issue here is that he is always comfortable with you. So, he slips. And you can see the struggle across his face and you hate that he battles himself so fucking much. He has enough enemies but Jason Todd is his own worst enemy.

“Jay?” You call and it snaps Jason right out of his own head, his eyes looking to yours and he’s about to call it off. He’s about to push and you see it. You shake your head, your heart breaking with the expression on his face. “Hey, like you said, we go out there and we get hurt sometimes, it happens. But, honestly, I am fine.”

Jason shakes his head, his jaw clenches and his adam’s apple bobs as he looks down to your lap. “Yeah, but I didn’t get hurt because of you. You got kidnapped because of me, remember? That shit was my fucking fault just like tonight.”

You know he’s about to push. It’s written in every pissed off and agonized wrinkle on his face. It’s how he runs a hand through his hair, something he only ever does when he’s beyond stressed out. It’s how he won’t close any of the distance between you and he hasn’t started cleaning the cut by your eye. You can see it in the redness of his eyes and the dark shade of green of his eyes. And it is breaking you.

It feels like he’s going to break up with you and you aren’t even together. You’re friends but you can feel it in the marrow of your bones that he wants to end it anyway. All because you got hurt and that’s not fair. He comes back night after night injured more often than not and not a single part of you has ever thought about tossing in the towel just because it’s hard seeing him hurt. And you know it’s because he blames himself, but it’s not his fault. He would do the same for you. Always. And you know that and you’re not gonna let him give up so fucking easily.

“Please, don’t push me away, Jay.” There’s something so simple and desperate in the way you say it that it makes Jason snap his attention back to your eyes.

You aren’t quite pleading or begging. But it’s as if you want to. You have this look that Jason remembers vividly. It’s the same look you had when he went to leave with Rose. The same sad eyes and wrinkled forehead, your mouth in a straight line as if resisting the urge to cry. This is the same damn look you gave him that day you wanted to beg him to stay with you. And for the first time, Jason sees the way it hurts someone when he pushes.

He’s never seen it before. He pushes and pushes and pushes so damn hard all the time that by the time the people leave, they’re mad at him. They might be sad, sure and hurt, yeah, but they are also mad at him because he hits below the belt. He brings up things that should have remained unsaid. He fires as hard and as fast as he can to get them to leave. And they do and he never sees the aftermath of it. But, tonight, he can see the hint of pain it would cause you if he pushed harder. It’s the way your eyes look to his and then behind him as if it’s almost too painful to look directly at him. And for the life of him, he can’t figure out why. But, that’s enough for him because hurting you is always the very last thing he ever wants to So, he nods and steps closer to you even when he wants to push.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

You offer a sad but tender smile as you place your hand on his jaw “I know. But, uh, I think that’s just part of working together. Sometimes it happens but that’s okay. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me either.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jason lets out a sigh, taking your hand in his.

“Hey, look, you’ve gotten hurt because of Bruce before I’m sure, and vice versa, right? Like he’s the reason you’re Robin so…technically…” You offer him this grin that gets him laugh.

“Yeah, but it’s different with you.” Jason states and he didn’t even think before he said it. It just came out and your grin turns into a soft smile.

“I know.” You nod your head. “But, I am fine and you don’t get to blame yourself for it. I won’t let you.”

“You won’t let me?” Jason chuckles.

“Nope.” You smirk at him. “You wouldn’t let me so I won’t let you.”

“Yeah, alright,” Jason lets out a half-scoff, half-chuckle. “Promise me you’ll be more careful, yeah?” Jason asks and he tries to hide the worry in his voice.

“I promise.” You nod your head. “You, too, okay?”

“Promise.” Jason presses a kiss to your knuckles.

“Thanks for not pushing.” You say quietly. “I know you want to.”

Jason nearly pauses and there is something that is both comfortable and terrifying about you knowing when he wants to push. It’s always been his best defense mechanism. And no one ever saw it coming. No one cared much to figure out when and how he would push or even if they did figure it out right before he was going to, they never even tried to stop him. They always just let him push. Not you though. You know and you won’t let him and that is so terrifying because without that mechanism what does he have left? But it’s comfortable because he has you.

He loses that defense mechanism around you and then he gets to have you. That’s how it works and it’s comfortable. He wants to push and you won’t let him and you won’t yell at him for it either. Instead, you offer him an ear and a voice of reason and you sit here, allowing him to clean up the cut near your eye with ease and a simple smile on your face. And he knows you want to run sometimes.

“Thanks for not running.” Jason lets the words fall with ease from his lips and he does that.

You notice he’ll say something that almost gives away exactly how he feels and thinks. He says something casually but softly and quickly. As if the words just slip right out and he just lets them.

You watch him as he cleans your eyebrow and you’re sitting here, lost in your own thoughts about him. He could have pushed you away. You wouldn’t have let him but he could have tried. And he didn’t. You asked him not to and you’re the only person to have asked him not to. No one’s ever even asked him to stop. They accept what he does and that’s the end of it. Not you though. And he’s standing here cleaning your eyebrow that you can absolutely do yourself. It’s a small cut that doesn’t even need a stitch but he cleans it anyway. And he has you promise him that you’ll be more careful. And you realize, he’s taking care of you and maybe he’s been doing it the whole time.

Jason told you a few months ago that you should stop trying to take care of other people and let someone take care of you. You should let someone take care of you because you deserved a break. And you’re realizing that the only thing he has done for you, is take care of you. Since day one.

It’s always been him looking after you. Always. The first day in the training room, he went easy on you and you didn’t even realize it. When you told each other all of your baggage, he made sure you were okay. He helped you off the floor that first secret training night. He’s the only that knew you’d go after Jerry and he’s the one that fixed your hands. And he’s the one that knew reading to you would make everything less heavy.

He took on Deathstroke to protect you. He let go of you when the bomb went off to protect you. He turned you down to protect you. He let you in his room when you had nightmares and always asked, always offered training or reading or watching something. He came back to the tower for Gar, sure but he came back to make sure you were okay. He asked Bruce to let you live with them to take care of you, to keep you off of the streets. He taught you how to ride a bike so you wouldn’t have to rely on him. He teaches you to cook and he cooks for you so you don’t have to worry about food. And he never goes easy on you in training now, so you’ll be prepared for whatever happens out there. He’s been taking care of you this whole time and you didn’t even realize it.

“You taking care of me?” You ask and your voice lacks any form of sarcasm but Jason feels the smirk growing against his hands as he cleans the cut.

And he remembers that night. He remembers everything.

You told him someone should take care of him and you asked him a question that seemed too sarcastic but he’s realizing maybe it wasn’t. It’s always going to be the two of you trying to care of each other and maybe, for once, you’ll openly let each other.

“You gonna let me?” Jason quips back, dropping his hand as he finishes cleaning the cut.

“Yeah.” You mumble softly, Jason glancing to your eyes and something about it makes his chest burn. Last time you had this conversation, you didn’t seem like you wanted someone to care of you. You could do it on your own. But then there’s Jason.

“I’ll always take care of you, babe.” Jason grins up at you and his words lack sarcasm.

“I’ll always do the same.” You state. “If you’ll let me.”

And for the first time in his life, Jason has no doubt in that comment. You’ve always been taking care of him and you’ve made it well known. Unlike Jason who’s done it a little more subtly, you’ve repeatedly said you’ll take care of him. You’ve always been there. You call him out when he’s pushing because that’s part of taking care of him. Making sure he always has someone in his corner. Even when he doesn’t think he needs you to take care of him or deserve to be taken care of, he believes you because that’s all you’ve ever done for him.

“Yeah, alright.” Jason nods his head, a tender smile on his lips.

You’re entire chest warms because honestly, you never thought he’d willingly admit to allowing someone to take care of him. But here is, letting you.

“Ya know,” You let out a breath as Jason tosses the bloody gauze away. “I don’t do this shit for you, right? Like… vigilante shit.”

Jason raises a brow. “I know. Why would I think that?”

You shrug a shoulder. “Blaming yourself. I’d be doing it even if it weren’t for you. I was always given the choice when Dick picked me up so….not because of you any of it happened.”

Jason offers you a soft smile. “You were just gonna go out, kick some ass on your own with your powers?”

“Yeah,” You let out a laugh that echoes through the bathroom. “Right, you have powers so you either use them for good or evil, I guess.”

Jason can’t help the smirk that crosses his lips. “Yeah, you coulda been real fucking evil.”

“Shut the fuck up! I could definitely be evil if I wanted to.” You hold your head up.

“Sure, babe.” Jason lets out a soft chuckle.

“What about you? Like…not you being evil or some shit.” You snicker, getting a devious look from Jason. “I mean, if you ever pull a Dick or whatever, make your own name after Robin. Would you still or…?”

“Yeah.” Jason nods his head and he places his hands on either side of your thighs. “Uh, ya know, I can’t imagine doing anything else now.” He chuckles. “Well, kind of.”

You furrow your brows. “What do ya mean?”

“Kind of want to actually go to school, get a degree in something. I don’t know but I’d still be doing this.” Jason clears his throat as you rest your hands over his. “But, yeah, I mean, Bruce has people like Penguin, Mr. Freeze, Bane, all them covered, right? They keep us pretty busy sometimes and we don’t patrol Crime Alley very often, just on the anniversary of his parents. I’d want to patrol there, help kids who grew up like me.”

You nod softly and you adore him. “That’s a good idea, ya know? Batman and Robin, you guys like….you take out the big bads but who looks out for everyone else?”

“Yeah, exactly.” Jason nods his head. “We still do. But, if I wanted to do my own thing so Bruce did his, it would be that.” Jason nods once. “Not sure I’d give it up though.”

“Yeah, I know.” You laugh. “It is a good idea, if it ever happens though.”

“What about you? You always gonna tag along with us?”

You rest your head against his as you laugh before picking your head back up and shaking it. “No,” You scrunch your nose. “It’s your thing. I kind of agree with you. You and Bruce take out the big bads. I look out for the smaller people. Crime Alley, get rid of traffickers, the dealers dealing to kids, people assaulting women and kids. Those people that don’t always make it onto the radar.”

Jason’s chest fills with warmth. “You’d be good at it. You get it, I mean.” Jason clarifies.

“Yeah, exactly.”

“You’d be good at it.” He smiles gently. “You planning on doing that any time soon?”

You shake your head. “Nope. I am having fun doing this.” You glance his lips. “And, I do get to do it with you so.”

“Oh yeah? That really do it for ya, huh? Me?”

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes, pressing a kiss to his lips.

Jason smiles against your lips. “Come on.” Jason backs away, offering his hands dramatically to you. You place your hands in his, hopping off the counter. “Let’s go to your room and I’ll rub your shoulder.”

“Trying to get lucky?” You quip as the two of you start your walk.

“Taking care of you, like I said.” Jason chortles but he’s got that smirk dancing over his lips.

“Mhm, okay, Jay.”

The two of you go off to your room and instead of taking up Jason’s offer, you walk over to one of your shelves where you keep all of your scrapbooking supplies and your current project. You pluck the book from the shelf and walk over to the bed where Jason has made himself comfortable already. You sit down beside him and Jason sees the book with furrowed brows.

“What’re you doing?” He asks.

You let out a sigh. “You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?”

“Would you have it any other way?” Jason quips back.

“No.” You answer simply and the sweetest smile comes to your lips. “You were upset about me getting hurt so, I’m gonna show you one page.”

“Not sure how that correlates…” There’s a hint of sarcasm in his voice but he’s almost nervous. This is like your personal secret.

“Proving to you that I might get hurt but I trust you anyway.” You shrug. “One page.”

“One page.” Jason grins widely, sitting up as you flip to one of the pages you have finished.

You put the book on his lap and it’s a page of the Titans. He was right. It was the page you were working on a few weeks ago. There are plenty of pictures with all of the Titans, including Jason and he can’t help the smile that comes to his face. From these two pages, anyone would think there were never any bad days. Every single picture paints the idea the tower had never seen any horrors and they’d always gotten along just fine. It’s funny because these two pages show how you view them.

It’s messy but they’re your family. By accident and then on purpose. It’s not always happy and trauma-free, but everyone is there and there are plenty of happy moments with everyone. And you all have each other. Even when it’s messy and everyone’s fighting, you have each other. Even now, with half the Titans spread out across the country. And there are quotes on the pages.

The quotes are in a similar style to the ones you made Jason for his displays of his favorite books. But, he has a feeling the quotes you used were from movies and TV shows. They’re mostly about family and he does recognize one of the quotes. He nearly laughs because you would have a Lilo and Stitch quote. But it makes him happy and he wonders if this is how you felt when he read to you the first time.

You’re welcoming him into your world and this is something no one else gets to do. No one gets to see what you’re working on, not even Molly. But, you’re showing him and it means the world to him. And he’s so head over heels for you.

“I like it.” Jason’s voice is soft as he looks back to you.

“Thank you. It’s a little messy but I mean it kind of fits, I guess.” You laugh softly. “You can see the rest of the book when it’s done but that should tie you over.” You grin as you take the book back and close it.

“The whole book is really about us? The Titans?” Jason asks as he watches you put the book back.

“Pretty much. Oh, I will tell you, that my best friend has his own separate page.”

Jason gains a wicked grin. “All for me?”

“No,” You shake your head. “Krypto.” You beam with the most cheery smile Jason has ever seen.

“Still a dog.” Jason states, his eyes widening as you join him back on the bed.

“Still my best friend.” You smiles widely at him and you still love to tease him.

A part of him can’t believe he wanted to blow this whole thing up a few minutes ago. It’s what he does, sure, but he really can’t imagine not having this thing with you anymore. It would crush him entirely. You mean so much to him, more than almost anyone he’s ever met. And he adores every piece of you. He knows it’s a little bit more than just friends with benefits because if it were, maybe you would have let him push. Maybe if it were, you would not have shown him your scrapbook. And he finds himself thinking that it almost feels comfortable being aware it’s a little bit more. Jason finds himself thinking he kind of wants you to know he knows this is a little bit more than that.

“Oh, fuck.” Jason shakes his head, not really sure why Krypto jogged his memory. “Did Bruce talk to you?”

“About?” You question slowly.

“We have to go out tomorrow, get you something to wear. We have to go a Wayne Enterprises Gala.” Jason nearly groans with his own words. He hates those things.

“First all, why do I have to go? I’m not his kid. Second, what’s wrong with my clothes? And third, when the fuck?” You have no desire to go. You can’t even decide is you even really likes Bruce or not.

“Because I have to go so you have to go.” Jason states. “Uh, you don’t own anything nice.” Jason chortles earning a flick to the side of his head. “Next week.”

“Just because you have to go doesn’t mean I have to go, Jay.” You smirk at him. “That was also rude.”

“Yeah, you do. Do you want me to suffer by myself? Come on.” Jason groans. “It’s true. This shit is fucking…ugh. Like black tie kind of shit. Do you have anything for that?” Jason challenges with narrowed eyes.

“You’ve been before and came out alive. I think you’ll be alright.” You giggle. “Okay, that…yeah. Fair.”

“Please.” Jason pleads as he lets out another groan. “Come on, we both get all dressed up. Make fun of all those rich fucks for a few hours and then ditch.”

“Mmmm.” You scrunch. “Still a no.”

“Come on, babe.” Jason nearly whines but he’s got this toothy grin where he knows he’s gonna get you to cave. And you know it, too. “I said please.”

You let out a laugh, tilting your head. “You’re so annoying.” You roll your eyes. “Fine. But, I’m taking Molly for a dress, not you.”

“What’s wrong with me?” Jason questions, shaking his head as if to be in disbelief.

“Nothing.” You shrug. “But I don’t get all dressed up and if you’re making me go, you don’t get to know what I’m wearing until we go. That’s how it works.”

“Yeah, alright fine.” Jason chuckles.

“You still wanna rub my shoulder?” You give him a cheeky smile. “Ya know, since I’m saving from you the oh-so-torturous gala.” You mock him with wide eyes.

Jason chuckles softly, nodding his head. “Yeah, come here.” Jason sits all the way up, spreading his legs enough for you to sit in between them.

You turn on a movie for the two of you while Jason starts rubbing your shoulders. He’s gentle at first, letting you get used to the feeling and then he gets a little rougher with it trying to loosen the tight muscle. You close your eyes and let yourself get lost in it. He’s good at it. And at this point, you’re wondering if there’s anything Jason is actually bad at. What you do know is that you want these moments with him for the rest of your life.

You go shopping the following day with Molly, thanks to Bruce who gave you one of the credit cards. The trip goes fine and Molly doesn’t ask too many questions. You picked a dress you thought would work and Molly approved. Molly may have gushed a little about how she thinks Jason is going to lose his mind. And you’re really good about brushing it off because you’re friends. But that might have been your hope. You really do love when he gets flustered.

But, now it’s the night of the Gala and you’ve just gotten ready.

You walk out into the living room, wearing your dress.  It’s your perfect style that extenuates your shape and it fits perfectly. While you feel good in your dress, you still feel a little exposed.

Getting dressed up means drawing attention to you and you hate it. Jason told you once that he thinks you don’t like attention and he was right. You do not. This is a gala and it’s Bruce’s and you’re staying with Bruce and going with Bruce and Bruce’s son. It will draw attention and you can feel the panic in the back of your throat as you enter the living room.

Jason sees you walk in and his entire face softens at the sight of you. He has exactly one thought as his brain short circuits: woah. You look beautiful and the color compliments your hair and skin tone so well. You just look absolutely stunning. Jason swears you always look beautiful, always, but he never thought he’d see you dressed up for anything and wow.

Jason gets to his feet, walking over to you and you see him in a black-on-black tux with a red pocket square. Jason Todd is always very pretty and beautiful. But he cleans up so well. Jason dresses pretty well usually, you swear you only see him in sweats in the morning, at night, and during training. But the black-on-black looks so good on him. He looks sleek and put together. No one would ever know the horrors that take place in his head or the scars that daunt his body from the violence he’s encountered. He looks so beautiful.

“Wow, you clean up nice, Jay.” You offer him a soft smile as he walks up to you.

“Yeah,” Jason chuckles and he wants to have a quip but he can’t do it. “You look beautiful.” He says it so casually, with so much ease and he’s never told you that before.

Your face softens. “Thank you.” Your stomach swirls. “So, do you.”

Jason chuckles and he swears his mouth has never been more dry. “Thanks,” He shakes his head, feeling anxiety start to cloud his muscles. “Turn around, I have something for you.”

“You…do…?” You raise a brow and Jason gestures for you to turn around.

When he found out you both had to go to this thing, Jason went out of his way and bought you a necklace. He knew the gala was coming up and he had an idea. Jason is an acts of service person but he also likes gift-giving. You’ve been doing this friends with benefits thing awhile and he wanted to get you something, almost like a way to tell you that it’s more without ever having to say that out loud.

He’s always a little afraid you’ll end up thinking that’s all this is for him and while he doesn’t want to say the words out loud, he wants you to know anyway. He wants you to know not to give up on him yet. And he knows you’ll get it because you always do. This gala was the perfect excuse. So, he puts the necklace around your neck and latches it, letting it fall to your chest.

You look down, holding the small charm. It’s a silver infinity symbol with what you’re certain are diamonds lining one side of it. Your heart nearly explodes. Why would he do that? And that symbol? You don’t even care because it’s small and beautiful and it’s perfect. You turn around and there’s a blush spread across Jason’s entire face as he sticks his hands in his pockets.

“It’s beautiful, Jay. Thank you.” Your voice is soft, almost etched in confusion.

“You and me.” Jason nods his head and that’s when you get it. A smile splits your face and it’s always supposed to be him and you.

“You and me.” You repeat.

“Uh,” Jason takes a hand out of his pocket to rub the back of his neck. “I know you told Bruce no to the tracker.” Jason states.

Bruce asked you a few weeks ago about the tracker. You’re his responsibility now and you’re going on patrol with them. It’s the natural progression of things, apparently. But all you could do was blink at him and tell him you were calling Dick. You told Jason who said it would be safe in case you got kidnapped again but Dick told you not to do it. You were already not letting Bruce Wayne put a tracking device in you. You’re pretty sure Jason is insane for that one but you don’t blame him. Either way, you were not about that tracker.

“But, you sometimes get kidnapped.” Jason smirks at you as you glare at him. “So, there’s a tracker in it. It’s not a Bruce thing, I swear. He doesn’t know.” Jason clears his throat. “The first day you were here, you said you were afraid to use your powers in case someone kidnaps you so, uh, ya know,” Jason chuckles softly and he’s so damn nervous. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this nervous in his life. “Now, you don’t have to worry about it.”

Your brows furrow and he put a tracker in a necklace for you. He’s definitely insane but he’s so thoughtful. And you’re enthralled with him.

“Ya know, you’re like important and shit.” Jason sucks in a breath, shoving his hands in his pockets again as he stretches his back. “So, if you don’t want it still, I can take it out but….” Jason swallows and he’s so nervous for this. He’s wondering if you can actually hear his heartbeat. “If it happens again, just want to be able to find you.” Jason shrugs, trying to brush this off as best as he can.

You’re melting. He always wants to be able to find you. You do tend to get kidnapped and held captive. That is something that happens. But, this is actually really thoughtful and the fact it’s from him. Not Bruce having him do it. It’s Jason specifically looking out for you, no matter what. And what you don’t realize is Jason also put a lot of thought into what he would get.

He weighed a bracelet but decided that might not be good because it’ll draw attention to the ligature scars on your wrists and you don’t like when people look. And that might get in the way during a fight if you don’t have the suit on. So he thought of a ring, but that seemed too much like a promise ring and he figured that might be bad in a fight too. You could melt it when you use your powers. So, he chose a necklace because at least it’s on a thin chain that you could break or melt it if you needed to and you can put it under your clothes when you fight. It’s not too long or too short to be bothersome.

“You…you remember that?” Your brows are knitted together and Jason pays attention to everything.

“I remember everything.” Jason says softly, he’s almost completely inaudible.

You aren’t sure when it happened but right now, you’re so fucking certain that you’re so in love with him. This is the moment you’ll remember forever. Because this is the moment where you realize that every single thing that’s happened between you has lead you both here. It’s lead you here. Every piece of banter, every traumatic event, every joke and kiss and hand touch and stolen glance, everything has added up to you being in love with him. You swear you’re not sure when exactly it happened, but you know right now, that maybe you’ve always been in love with him.

And you know Jason well enough to know he would not be giving you this, of all things, if you were just friends.

“That’s…” You start, still almost in a state of disbelief.

“Lame, right?” Jason chuckles, his cheeks turning a bright red and he can feel the heat across his face. He’s starting to regret it because it seems a little cringey now. Maybe a little invasive to not have asked first. But you mean the world to him.

“No.” You shake your head. “Really fucking nice of you, Jay. I don’t mind you coming to find me.” Your brows are still knitted together and Jason’s never seen this expression before. He can’t even make out the emotion you’re showing. But it’s soft and you look like you might cry, like you adore him.

The corner of Jason’s mouth twitches up. “You sure?” That burning feeling is back in his chest and his knees are little weak but he feels so happy and accepted. He’s starting to know what that feeling is right about now.

“You can always come find me.” You walk up to him and wrap your arms around his neck and Jason’s hands immediately come to your hips as if they were almost meant to rest there. He gives you a light squeeze. “I’ll do the same for you.”

Jason feels the relief fill his bones as he grins at you before closing the distance between you, lifting your chin to kiss you. He knows what the feeling is. He knows and for once, he’s choosing to accept it because he thinks, maybe that’s the expression on your face.

He hopes, that’s the expression on your face.

“Come on, then. Let’s get going.” Jason extends his hand for you and you take it with ease.

It's the afternoon the following day and Jason is having lunch with Molly. You had a plan with Gar for you to catch up on one of your shows through FaceTime and Jason was invited but he hasn't hung out with just Molly in a while.

Molly is sitting across from Jason as his phone vibrates on the table. There's a cheeky smile that comes to his lips when he picks it up and Molly can't help but find it amusing. Jason is someone she's known to be very good at hiding what he's feeling. He's very good at being coy, he's stoic. And he has resting bitch face which likely helps that whole thing a bit. But, she can always tell when you text him because he drops that entire act and lets a smile tug at his lips.

"How're things?" Molly asks as Jason puts the phone down.

"Fine." Jason offers and easy shrug. "You?" Jason takes a sip of his water.

"Yeah, I'm good." Molly laughs softly as his phone vibrates again. There's that smile again and Molly has never seen him look so at ease. "It's her, right?"

"What?" Jason looks over his phone, pausing mid-text.

"Who you're texting." Molly teases.

"How the fuck did you know that?" Jason narrows his eyes at her.

"You get a look." Molly chuckles, taking a bite of her food.

"The fuck I do."

"You do," Molly rolls her eyes as Jason finishes the text.

She swears she loves her friends but you're both so frustrating sometimes. You're both emotionally composited to the point it's almost painful to watch. You both think everyone around you is completely oblivious. Molly notices how you look at each other and how you hold hands. She's spotted Jason's hand on your thigh when you’re hanging out and the way you both look so relaxed around each other. She's seen you almost kiss him.

"What's going on with you guys?" Molly asks knowing full well she's going to get some bullshit answer because it's Jason.

"What do you mean?" He shrugs the question off but if he wanted to tell her, he wouldn't know how or how to even answer. He doesn't know. Friends doesn't seem right anymore and it hasn't for a long time.

"I mean, like...there's something going on, isn't there?"

Jason shakes his head anyway because you agreed to keep it between you. "Nope."

Molly's eyes narrow. "Really? So, you don't like her and she doesn't like you?"

"Nope." Jason states again. "Nothing there." The lie is rancid on his lips.

"Liar." Molly calls his bluff.

"I'm not lying, we're friends, Molly. She doesn't like me that way and neither do I. You're imagining shit."

Molly rolls her eyes and Jason is full of shit half the time but she swears that's the biggest lie he's ever told her. "You know it's you, right?" Molly asks and if you're both gonna be oblivious, she's gonna spell it out.

It's painful to watch you two. It is very obvious you like each other and there is something there. You told Molly some of the stuff that happened in San Francisco and how Jason and Gar were the people that were there for you. You explained you liked Gar but you were better as friends but in your story, Molly never got the impression you liked Gar at any point, it always came back to Jason. It has always been him. Even if you're both oblivious to it.

And Molly knows you both deserve someone who makes you both happy. The two of you make each other happy. You’ve never been open to happiness but you let yourself be happy around Jason. And Jason loves to push when people care about him but he doesn't with you. You're both messes and reckless but Molly thinks you would be good together and happy. You make each other better. It'd be a shame to watch you both throw it away because you both suck at communicating.

"What?" Jason shakes his head with the raise of his brows.

"Like you know it's you, right? She's my best friend and she told me about Gar. But she also told me about you. Like...it's you. And it's always been you. You thinking otherwise makes you an idiot." Molly states with the raise of her brows.

"Hey, fuck you." Jason scoffs because there's so much more to you and him than just you liking each other. That isn't the problem. "It's not like that, Molly." Jason states.

"Yeah, it is. You're both just stupid, emotionally stunted, and stubborn as hell. Seriously, it's you and she's it for you, too. You should do something about it, Jason."

Jason might be a little hopeful you may have mentioned it to her. Maybe if he had confirmation that you actually said it, he'd be okay to move forward. Maybe.

"Did she fucking say that?" Jason quips back.

Molly shrugs and she said she wouldn't tell. "You know if she did, I wouldn't be able to tell you. But I know her and I know you. So, you should do something about it."

Jason's heart deflates a little with the response even though he knows if Molly knew something for certain, she wouldn’t tell him. "You really trying to be a matchmaker all of sudden or some shit?"

"No." Molly chortles. "But you would be good together." Molly shrugs. "You're the one that wouldn't shut up about how much you missed her." Molly's eyes widen as she teases him.

"Shut the fuck up." Jason groans. "It's not like that, alright?" Jason shakes his head and he almost worries she'll figure it out if he doesn't change the subject "What about Shelia? How are things there?" Jason switches it around.

"Sure it's not. But now you know." Molly drops it because at least it's in his head now. "Messy." She laughs.

"But you're giving relationship advice?" Jason chortles. "What's going on?"

When Jason gets back to the manor, you’re in a training session with Bruce covering more things about the tech and the strategic side of things so he heads to his room. He falls back onto his bed and he lies with what Molly had to say about you.

There is a very big part of him that knows. He knows there's more between you, that's part of why he picked the symbol he did for your necklace. He knows. And that scares him. It still scares him and at this point, he thinks he'll always be afraid of everything because who, in their right mind, is afraid of someone liking them romantically? He can't help the way the feeling of being damaged carves holes right into his bones. As much as he loves to push everyone away, he's afraid that one day, with being with him, you'll finally have enough.

Being friends with benefits is one thing because it's as if there aren't as many expectations he has to meet. He can adore you from a distance without this whole commitment thing he fears so much. But, if he were to tell you how he feels about you, maybe your expectations will change. Maybe you'll expect him to be more open and honest with you about the cruelty haunting and taunting him from the shadows of his mind. Maybe you'll expect him to get better immediately because he's supposed to be happy in a relationship. Maybe you'll expect him to be happy. Maybe you'll expect him to put you first, above being Robin. All of these things, he wonders if they'll change and he knows for a fact he can't change any of them. Even if he wanted to.

So maybe you'll get tired and then you'll leave.

And he wonders then if he won't be good for you. Jason believes, wholeheartedly, you deserve every good thing this world has to offer you. You deserve to be loved and cared for. You deserve someone who can be that for you and give you everything you deserve. Jason wants to be that for you so badly it hurts. Jason has already carved out a spot in his rib cage just for you. Your name is stitched across his heart in neon lights. But, what if he can't be good enough for you anyway?

What if he can't take care of you the way you deserve because he can't be open? What if he can't take care of you because he's too damaged and too broken? What if he isn't capable of love? What if he isn't capable of that one feeling everyone else seems to have? How is he supposed to know? And that just doesn't seem fair to him.

He thinks about you and he gets this smile across his lips. His heart skips a beat and when you smile at him, he thinks he's just been struck by lightning. He'll be permanently scarred with markings made by only you and he'll cherish them in every way. Kissing you is one his favorite things and when you kiss him back, that is something Jason can't even describe because the joy he feels nearly seeps through his pores and explodes through the atmosphere around him. You make him feel alive and undamaged and unbroken but what if that's not love? How is he supposed to know when the only thing he has ever known is heartbreak and agony and suffering? Love with conditions? How is he supposed to know if he loves you unconditionally when he's never been loved that way?

And because Jason just can't get his mind to leave him alone, he wonders if he's wrong. If Molly's wrong. Maybe you’re just his friend and you're just having fun until someone worth loving comes along. Maybe that's all this to you and Jason knows the only way he could ever find out, is to just ask but he can't. So, he closes his eyes and hopes against the universe, you'd pick, too and it won't be so damn miserable and hard.

After you finish training with Bruce, you’re in your room. You peeked into Jason's room afterward and saw him asleep on his bed. You smiled softly and walked in to put a blanket over him before heading to your own room. Honestly, you’re just glad he's getting at least some sleep. It's been rough for him and you wish you knew how to help him better. But you’re glad he's getting at least a little bit of sleep.

You sit on your bed, watching a movie while you read up on some of Bruce's bad guys using the files he has. It's something you were going over today, examples of how he's taken down people like Mr. Freeze, Two-Face, and Mad Hatter. You’ve done plenty of your own research growing up, but now you have access to the actual files on them and that is interesting. Bruce said it might help later on, whenever the next one like them pops up and it's important you stay prepared. Gotham is unpredictable like a tornado in Tornado Alley in the middle of the spring. Inevitable but unpredictable.

But, your research comes to a screeching halt as Jason storms into your room, slamming the door behind him. You peak over, watching him storm to the front of your bed and start pacing.

"Um...are you okay?" You ask hesitantly knowing damn well he's not.

"Fucking Bruce!" Jason seethes, his eyes turning a bright shade of red as his voice cracks. He hates that it cracks when he's mad.

"What did he do?" You lock the tablet, resting it on your nightstand as you move to sit cross-legged and hear what happened.

"He fucking took Robin away!" Jason stops pacing, flinging his arm out as he faces you.

You shake your head in disbelief. "He what?"

"Yeah! Said I have to go see a fucking shrink and get the all-clear? Like I'm some fucking mental case!"

You’re not gonna say it. But, maybe Bruce has a point this time. Jason isn't okay and it's obvious as much as Jason tries to hide it from everyone. And Bruce is anything but oblivious. You’re kind of surprised it's taken Bruce this long to pull the plug but you also find it interesting because you know Jason won't see it the way you do. But you’re sitting here thinking maybe Bruce tried his best to wait it out and let him be Robin as long as possible, not giving up on him just yet. Jason thinks everyone gives up on him and you know this is where the conversation is going to go but the way you see it, Bruce seems to be doing everything he can not to give up on him.

"Well, I mean, Jay, you're not a mental case but maybe talking to someone will help." You offer with the scrunch of your nose, knowing he's gonna blow.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jason scoffs and he can't believe of all people, you’re taking Bruce's side. "He's giving up on me just like everyone else! He doesn't think I'm fucking good enough!"

You scoot to the end of your bed to get closer to him because even if you agree he needs to talk to someone, he's hurt right now and he just needs someone to listen and try to help. Maybe.

"Bruce loves you like you know that, right? That's why he wants you to take a break. Asking you to take a break to take care of you is not giving up on you, Jay."

"Oh, you're taking his side now!?" His face is red as his eyes grow glossy.

The pain in his chest is almost unbearable. Robin means the world to him and he's fine. He swears he is fine. How can the people he's supposed to trust the most not see he'll be fine? That taking this away is only making everything worse?

"No, Jay." You roll your eyes as Jason paces in front of you. "I'm just saying that he loves you. Why don't you believe that?" Your voice is soft and tender, etched in hints of sadness.

"How the fuck would you know?!"

"He....like adopted you? On purpose. He is trying to protect you from getting yourself fucking killed. Which, I know you're gonna get all pissy with me for saying this, but I don't lie to you so...I kind...of...." You trail off a little gauging Jason's reaction and you can tell by the narrowing of his eyes and flaring of his nostrils he is about to blow but you continue anyway. "I...I kind of admire him for it because I mean...I couldn't convince you not to be Robin. It means too much to you and it would hurt me to take it away from you, which, it does hurt Bruce, for the record. But...."

"Yeah, keep fucking going!" Jason barks. His broken heart is shattering further into oblivion and it's not fair. "I can't fucking believe--"

"Shut up." You cut him off. "I admire him for doing it because I know I couldn't and...like...I'm scared you're gonna get yourself killed out there. I'd lose my fucking mind if you died, Jay." You let out a breath and Jason is hearing you but he doesn't want to believe it. "So, he's just doing it because he cares about you and loves you. He doesn't want you going out there and getting killed."

He's too angry to see it, to hear what you’re saying. To really hear it. Bruce loves him like a son and is taking Robin away because of that. Bruce can't let him get killed out there. And you’re agreeing with him. He's too mad to see through the red covering his eyes.

"By taking away the one thing that means everything to me! He never did that with Dick!"

He's got a thick skull. You get it. He's been through a lot but you aren't going to let him dig himself into a hole so deep he ends up suffocating himself. That's all he's doing right now. You try to reason with him, to calm him down by trying to explain Bruce's side of it but that doesn't work. The one thing that has consistently worked though, is yelling back. And at this point, seeing him like this, hurts you.

"Because Dick didn't get dropped from a skyscraper, Jason!" You yell back as if raising your voice will get through to him. "Because Dick didn't almost get fucking killed out there! You did!"

"I'm fucking fine! Bruce has almost been fucking killed but he still gets to be Batman! You were dropped from a skyscraper and he's letting you go out there! What's so fucking bad about me that he's taking it from me!?" Jason's voice cracks as he lets out this breath that stiffens the entire room. His jaw clenches and he wants to take it out on anyone that wants to argue. "It's bullshit you're fucking siding with him!"

"I'm not siding with him!" You yell back. "I'm always on your fucking side! I have been since day one, Jason! You're just pissed off and ignoring that little piece of information!" You let out a breath as you shake your head. "And there isn't anything bad about you." Your voice comes back down as you watch Jason tear himself up from the inside out.

"Yeah, you fucking are! You think I'm a mental case, too!"

You shake your head as you look to your lap, and you decide you have to call him on his shit because this is going nowhere. He needs help. "You know what your fucking problem is?" There's a bite in your voice Jason hasn't heard before.

You look back up to him because he's doing what he always does. Picking a fight and pushing back because he thinks he's the worst person to walk the face of the earth. And he's not. He could never be.

"Fucking say it." Jason scoffs and a part of him is almost getting a thrill from being right.

You’re about to give up on him, too. Everyone always does and this was just your last straw because you can't let him be fine on his own. And the other part of him, wants to completely crumble because the very idea of you throwing in the towel, is almost too much.

"You think you're hard to love. You think loving you is the worst possible thing you could ever put onto another person." You state with the quick raise of your brows.

Jason stops pacing, eying you carefully and his voice is caught in his throat. You see through him like cellophane and this is not where he saw this going.

"Yeah, and what if that's true, huh? Bruce put me on Dick and Dick put me on Bruce. Rose lied to me the whole fucking time. Clearly, it's me right?" His voice breaks and your eyes soften at him. "What's so fucking bad about me?" Jason forces the lump in his throat down as tears sting the back of his eyes.

Why does everyone pretend to love him? Why can't he just be loved for who he is? Why is there always a condition?

"Nothing." You answer softly. "Nothing, Jay. There's nothing bad about you." Your brows are furrowed as you chew the inside of your cheek.

You’re going to hunt down every single person that ever made him feel this way. They made him view himself as unloveable and broken and damaged and bruised and unworthy. They made him see himself as a walking nightmare to be around and you swear, you’re going to find them and become their worst nightmare.

"Then why do I ruin everything?" Jason asks, his voice cracking. "I push everyone away or I fuck it all up or they see through it. Like Bruce."

"You don't." You state, the candor evident in your voice. "Jay, you don't ruin everything and you don't fuck it—"

"Yeah, I do!" His teeth grit as he tries to keep the cracking to a minimum. "I fucked up at the tower and destroyed everything!"

"Jay—"

"I'm destroying everything here!"

"Jason—"

"You're gonna see through it, too! You're gonna be like everyone else because why wouldn't you?!" Jason yells at you and you know he doesn't mean it. "You already think I should see a fucking shrink! You saw how fucked up it was with Deathstroke! You're gonna fucking leave--"

"Jason!" You yell over him and you will not ever let him run these circles around himself and try to convince himself that he is this unlovable person. "Loving you is not the worst thing you could ask of someone and it's not the hardest thing for anyone to do. Loving you is the easiest thing I have ever done!" You yell and your voice hot, nearly boiling in the air around you. It's rushed and pained and strained and you freeze.

Jason freezes where he stands, eyes like a deer in headlights. He heard you. He definitely heard you right but he doesn't believe it. A part of Jason always knew because it's how you interact. It was that night with Jerry and how you almost kissed, the way you looked at him when you said you were friends like it broke a part of you to say it. It was how you were the night after with him, almost distant but unwilling to bring it up. The way you looked out for him with Deathstroke and after. When you did kiss him. It was as if you had wanted to do that your entire life. It is in everything you said to him about him being good enough to you and on the roof. But, he can't believe that because you’re just upset with him right now, right?

"What?" He asks, brows knitted together and jaw clenched, a mix of somewhere between him wanting to cry or scream. And you can see this disbelief written in the worry lines of his face.

Your eyes are just as wide because you never meant to tell him. Not now. Things have been fun and easy. Bringing this up would complicate things and he's kind of a mess right about now. But, it just came out. It's always been true and you think it's true for him, too but a part of you kind of thought you'd end up in this limbo forever. Always dodging and backing out of the conversation. But, you just rang the bell and you can't take it back. Taking it back right now would derail him further and it would make him think it wasn't true. It is. Even if this is not how you wanted to tell him. So, you commit to it on purpose this time.

"Loving you..." You suck in a shaky breath. "Is not the worst thing you could ask of someone and it's not the hardest thing for anyone to do. Loving you...." Your breath is ragged as Jason watches you with that you swear is terror. The look on his face, screaming that he is undeserving breaks this piece of your heart and you’re willing to take that piece and give it to him. He can use it as plaster, spread it thin to spread over every hole too people many people have left him with. He can use a piece of your heart to fix himself because Jason Todd is loved and always should have been "Loving you....is the easiest thing I have ever done."

Jason pauses for just a beat. He can't believe it, can't understand it, you loving him. It is unfathomable. But, his chest is thundering and aching and warm. He feels so warm even if he thinks he doesn't deserve your love or your honesty. Even if this is terrifying. He's so warm and he swears his heart has beat for you since that very first day in the training room. You smirked at him and it was like lightning struck his heart. You taunted him, played his game and no one ever wants to play his games. But, you walked in like you'd always belonged there. You walked into his heart, his heart that is normally locked with 6 deadbolts, 3 passkeys, and facial recognition. You walked in with ease and settled right in, right in the center as if you had lived there your entire life and you never even knew.

You stand up and your hands are hesitant as they come to cup his face. You’re committing to it now. You told him with Deathstroke that one day, you'd commit to his little game and you would win because he wouldn't know what to do. This is not a game, it was never a game. But, the thought is confirmed because he's almost completely frozen in place, watching you carefully but he doesn't back away from you. The second your hands touch him, you see this flash of ease cross over his eyes.

"Jay," Your voice cracks and there's a fear in your eyes, too so Jason brings his hands to your hips, allowing his brows to furrow and waiting for you finish. "You mean everything to me." It's like Jason's been kicked in the chest, his brain short-circuits and he can't breathe. He's so in love with you. "I love--" Jason cuts you off, yanking you closer to him, digging his fingertips in your hips and colliding his lips to yours.

The kiss sucks the air of out your lungs and it's like vertigo all over again. You spin and spin, feeling like gravity has finally seized to exist. The thunder in your chest roars louder than it ever has before and your world comes to a complete stop just as it did all those months ago when you kissed him the first time. He's like magic and all you want to do is stand here like this forever, your mouth moving with his while his hands fingertips dig so hard into your hips, you know you'll have bruises tomorrow.

And Jason finally feels like he can breathe. You kiss him all the time but this time, it's because you love him. And he can feel you smile against him and the world just stops. Everything is silent while the burning in his chest amplifies and his knees grow weak and he's realizing, maybe he does know what that feeling has been all along. He is never alone with you and you love him. It is equally terrifying as it is comforting. He's terrified of you in the most thrilling way. It's like his heart was meant to be beating for you this whole time. But then you pull away.

Your brows are knitted together as your hand comes up to his face, resting on his cheek. His cheeks are flushed, the pink trailing down to his neck. His pupils are blown and he looks fragile but steady. Your thumb rubs over his skin, it's warm and soft under your touch. Jason's eyes dart all of your face, constantly coming back to your lips. He wants to dive right back in and never get up for air.

"Jay?" You call and your voice sounds desperate, scared. "I have to know." You swallow thickly, the words bitter on your tongue. You don't want to ask. You want to avoid it. But, if you do, it'll hurt all the same if he runs again. "We doing this for real this time?"

His grip loosens just slightly and he feels like he's being thrown into the ground. The wind is knocked out of him and he isn't sure how he's supposed to respond. He wants you. Every second of every day, it's you and it's always been you. It always should have been you. He wants to do this and you love him and he loves you. It's hard though and the words stick to his tongue like tar, sealing his mouth shut while his jaw squares. And you can see that internal struggle across his face.

"I love you." You state and Jason nearly lets out a whine, his eyes glassing over. Your voice is tender and the very corner of your mouth tugs up into the sweetest smile Jason has ever witnessed.

Jason Todd thinks he's so hard to love and you wake up every single day, completely and solely in love with him. It's so easy it feels like breathing. Falling in love with him was accidental and you don't even know when it happened. A part of you believes maybe it happened that first day because he was charming and cute, he had danger about him and he commanded the room's attention in a way you’ve never seen before. You think maybe it was the day you shared your trauma because he was more than a charming boy with pretty green eyes. He was a person, with a past and baggage who never judged you for yours. And you think maybe it was the day he went with you when you beat up Jerry because it was the nicest thing someone has ever done for you. Or maybe it was Deathstroke. You don't t know when you fell in love with him but it doesn’t really matter because the whole point is that it’s him. And you avoided it for too long.

It was easier to avoid it but since arriving in Gotham, you’ve made the active decision to be in love with him, no matter what. Loving him is easy but it's bigger than that because you’re so good at running, you could run. You could run and live with yourself. But you don't. Every day you wake up and you choose to love him. You choose to stay, you choose the game of chicken, you choose to care for him and to take care of him and you choose friends with benefits. Every day you love him on purpose. You choose him. As it always should have been.

"You and me?" Jason manages to get out and the three other words are still stuck, poking his mind and taunting him. They just won't come out.

He hates that the words stick like tar in his throat. He hates that they're suffocating because he wants to say it back but it's so hard. It's so hard despite the fact that you make it easy to love you. It's hard for him because of his own personal war against himself. Jason Todd is his own worst enemy and he hates that part of himself. He wants to tell you that he's been in love with you this whole time so bad it feels like the words are clawing their way up the back of his throat and scratching it raw.

Jason, like you, isn't entirely sure when he fell in love with you. But, he thinks maybe it was that day you shared your trauma in the training room. It wasn't because you shared the same baggage. It wasn't because you played his game. It's because you plopped right now and spilled your trauma to him with a causality that felt so comfortable. He was the first person you told and he felt important in that moment. And you were the only person to ever understand his trauma and not have a single judgmental word to say about it. You sat down on that floor that day and chose to be Jason's favorite person. You sat on that floor that day and gave him the one thing he'd always wanted. To be heard, seen, understood, for who he is and not his mistakes. You gave him the care he always wanted right there that day.

"You and me, always." You offer him a tender smile. "You don't have to say it. I already know." The smile is so soft and loving and Jason nearly explodes. His entire body is on fire with adoration. He doesn't deserve to be so lucky but for this exact moment, he decides to let himself be lucky.

"Fuck," He groans and he pulls you into him again, his right hand coming up to the back of your head as he kisses you. Your nails dig into his back and Jason pushes you forward, the back of your legs hitting the bedframe while you both topple over. "I love you." Jason finally gets the words out. They're groveled and broken, but taste sweet. Your heart bursts and Jason feels you smile against him so wide that the kiss almost breaks.

You slide your hands under his shirt, feeling his warm and toned skin under your fingertips. Electricity shoots through Jason's spine and he groans with your touch. You’re everything he has ever wanted and swore he would never deserve. But right now, you’re in love with him and you’re his. After everything you’ve ever been through together, you’re his and he is so in love with you.

The unfiltered and uncontrolled fire that burned his marrow to ash becomes controllable above you. The fire rages on but it's something that doesn't hurt or burn, but makes him feel alive again. It burns away the hurt and the feeling of betrayal from Bruce. Because even though he knows he's going to be hurt and angry about it for a long time, at least he finally has you. The one person who sides with and never gives up on him, no matter what. Even when he knows you should. You’re the only person who ever understood him and shows him love without conditions. You show him what it's like to be loved on purpose.

You kiss him with a smile and you can feel him smiling back, teeth clacking together. You move away from his mouth and takes one hand, tilting his head to the side as you kiss his cheek. Jason's stomach twists and slips right upside down. His head spins and he aches in a way that has never felt more comfortable. You kiss his cheek so softly, he barely even feels it. If it were for the goosebumps you left in your wake, he thinks he'd have missed it. You place gentle kiss after gentle kiss until you reach his neck. You can feel his pulse against your lips and the idea of his heartbeat makes you smile. He is alive and yours. He is finally yours and he is everything you have ever wanted in this life. And the next. And the one after.

From that first day, it has always come back to it being you and him. The late training that got busted, it was you and him because Gar never should have been involved and it wasn't because it was you and Jason who were in trouble with Dick. And that night with Jerry, it just him and you and a book. Deathstroke. The roof. The manor. It all comes back to it being him and you and you love him with everything in you. And you swear, every day for as long as you live, you'll always make sure he knows you love him. Even on good days but especially on the bad days. He will never get to second guess if he is loved again. Not if you’re still breathing oxygen into your lungs.

He makes you feel alive and whole. You have never ever felt damaged with him. Jason only ever shows you care and kindness underneath his sarcasm and witty quips. He makes you feel safe and wanted. And important. And above everything else, you have never felt happier than when he's around. He understands you and you love him and you know he loves you, too. It was always going to be the two of you at the end of it all. Even when it's hard because at the end of it, you choose each other. By accident and then on purpose.

You kiss the spot on his neck before biting down softly and Jason dips his head against your hand, a low and soft moan escaping from the very back of his throat.

Jason hears you snicker softly and he can feel your breath against his skin. It is on fire. He feels like he's being thrown right into the sun. He's never felt so alive. And you bite down again, this time a little harder and Jason thrusts his hips forward, a reflex.

He's never wanted someone more than he wants you right now. His arms are growing weak as you kiss another spot, this time right beside his shoulder. He wonders how you do it. How you get the world to just shut off for a minute. It's like you can flip a switch and the world goes quiet. Every horrible bad thought Jason has ever had with himself, runs away. It's like his own thoughts are afraid of you, like you have the power to rid them forever, extinguish them with a burning flame. He lands on the same reasoning every time: because you love him.

You kiss your way back up to his lips and you’re wearing a grin, wreaking of confidence and love. Jason's eyes flicker between your lips and your eyes, he wants to devour you. Never let you go. You drive him completely insane.

Your hands come up to his face and the smirk flips into something tender and Jason's stare matches it. He's torn between wanting to absolutely lose it, let the feral side of him run off and the other wants to try and care for you the way you do for him. Slow, steady and cautious, ever hesitant to make sure you don't run off. He'd chase after you if you ever did and Jason doesn't chase people.

Jason slides his hand from your waist to the side of your face. You turn your head, kissing the palm of his hand and it's rough. You wish he didn't have to use his fists so much. Robin means everything to him but he deserves a break, and deserves to rest from it. He deserves for his hands to have a break, to be able to just hold a book all day. They never should have been made for violence. You look back at him and Jason rubs his thumb over your cheek.

Jason dips his head down, opposite side where his hand is. He places gentle kisses down your cheek and you’ve never had anyone treat you with such care, not like this. And you want to cry because he's everything to you and he treats you how you never thought you would be treated. He treats you how you swore you never deserved to be treated and it seems so effortless for Jason.

Jason bites down, right where your neck meets your shoulder and your eyes close, your head pushing back against the mattress. He leaves a dark mark and a toothy grin pulls at his lips because it's the physical symbol that you’re his and he is yours. He looks over you, your necklace shining against the low light of your bedroom and he's so in love it you.

In a quick motion, Jason wraps his arm around you and spins you both around, you on top of him. You let out a this laugh as your hands land on his hard chest. Jason wants to record your laugh so he can listen to it whenever he feels sad.

"Smooth." You chortle.

Jason sits up, and there's this smile you don't think you’ve ever seen on him before. It's there but it's subtle and it's so soft and welcoming. You swear if he ever gives you that smile again, the first thing you'll do it take a picture because you want to always see it on him. It is one of intent and love and happiness. It is a smile of ease.

Jason's hand comes to your cheek and he can count on one hand how many lucky decisions he's made. This is one of them. He's lucky you choose him to trust and he chose you to trust. It was a lucky decision. That one lucky decision lead him here. With you.

"Just wanted to do this." Jason chuckles, taking the hem of your shirt in his fingers and pulling it up and over your head.

You collide your mouth against his, Jason groaning as you grind down on him. And the kiss grows sloppy and desperate as your hands travel and grip over each other's bodies.

Maybe this is how it always should have been with you. Brutally honest. Neither of you are big fan of the talking shit out and being brutally honest but maybe that's how it should have been. You've always been so good about talking about your trauma with each other and telling each other what the other needs. It comes like second nature, reading the other one. But, maybe you always should have been saying those thoughts pooling at the very back of your heads because right now, you're spinning and tangled in the love the other has. Because neither of you have felt so loved and cared for and at ease with being exposed.

You both show each other every scar and terrible thing you’ve ever been through. You show each other the worst parts of yourselves and you pick each other anyway. You love each other and are there when no one else is. You get each other to talk and break and eat and calm down. You get each other as if the universe created you both for each other. It's messy and hard and complicated. It's painful sometimes and scary but it's also cathartic and healing and amazing. It's everything you both deserved. It's also easy when it's hard because it was also going to be him and you.

You’re laying on Jason's chest, running your fingers along his side gently while he's rubbing circles on your shoulder. Jason presses a kiss to the top of your head as you listen to the steady beating of his heartbeat.

"You're gonna go, right?" You ask gently, keeping your head against his chest.

"Yeah." Jason answers through a sigh. He still doesn't want to go but, it's either go or hang up Robin forever and he's not ready for that. And, if you’re telling him he should go, maybe he should listen.

"Good." A smile tugs at your lips. He needs to go.

"Bruce said she knows about us, what we do." Jason explains, looking down at you.

"Which means Bruce has probably had to see her, ya know? It's gonna be good for you."

"Didn't help before." Jason scoffs.

You look up at him with furrowed brows. "You went before?"

"When I was in Forster care." Jason shakes his head and it didn't help then.

All they ever did was throw diagnoses at him and pills. Even if the diagnoses were right, he never saw the mediation to help. His foster parents always took them before he could. The way he sees it, he hasn't needed anyone professionally or those pills, he doesn't need them now. But Jason doesn't just give up.

"That's probably because you got therapists who were overworked and shit. This one you know is good. Maybe she'll actually help." You rest your chin on his chest and Jason wonders when you became such the optimist.

"I don't know." Jason shakes his head, still rubbing circles along your back.

"I do. It'll help, Jay. At the end of the day, the only thing any of us want is for you to be okay. You'll see the shrink and she'll give you the all-clear and you'll get some damn sleep. And then you'll get Robin back." You offer him a confident smile.

Jason chuckles from under you. "Since when are you an optimist?"

"When it comes to you." You answer as if it's the easiest answer you’ve ever had.

"Thanks, babe." A tender smile tugs at his lips.

"You're welcome." You press a kiss to his chest. "Like I said, I love you."

Jason's lips curl into a smile and his heart explodes into colors of confetti. "I love you, too." Jason shifts from under you and you move so he can get up.

You watch him as he gets his clothes on, a lazy smile on your lips. Jason faces you and he gives a devious grin. You quirk a brow at him, knowing the grin always means trouble.

"I'm taking you on a date tomorrow." Jason declares, his words a little breathless as if waiting for you to take it back,

"Oh, you are?" You let out a laugh and you knew that grin was gonna mean trouble.

"That a problem?" Jason quips.

You shake your head. "No." Your smile grows wider. "Where we going?"

"Can't tell you." There's a confidence radiating off him.

"How will I know what to wear if you won't tell me?" You raise, moving to rest your head on your hand.

Jason's eyes narrow slightly, realizing you have a point. "Fine, your usual clothes are fine." Jason states and he barely knows what he wants to do but he knows for a fact, it's nothing fancy.

"Casual." You state with a nod, a teasing grin on your lips. "Bet I can figure it out."

"Nope." Jason shakes his head. "You can't."

You can read each other better than anyone. He's radiating with confidence but you heard the breathlessness in his voice and the way his eyes moved up when you asked what to wear, you know him like the back of your hand.

"Is it because you also don't know exactly what we're doing?" You offer him a cheeky laugh.

"Fuck off." Jason lets a laugh that fills the room. "I know what we're doing!" He defends with a smile so bright you think it could light up the entire solar system. You’ve never seen him like this.

He can read you, too. You think you can figure it out but he knows he is always one step ahead of you. Regardless of what you figure out, he knows you'll never figure the whole date out.

"Mhm, okay, Jay." Your cheeks are aching.

Jason closes the distance between you, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before he starts walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" You question, turning to watch him leave.

"To plan our date." Jason offers the wiggle of his brows.

You love him and he loves you.

"Right." You let out a laugh and neither of you can actually believe this is really it. But, there is not a single ounce of doubt in either of your blood for once.

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series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

A/n: Well, now that that’s finally happened, I can make it all go to shit now 😂 I’m so sorry in advance lol

Also, I know I’m supposed to post every week but lately that’s been hard lol so on weeks where I can’t post, do you guys want me to post a teaser for the upcoming chapter?? I used to post a teaser before every chapter for my previous series and just haven’t done it with this one much. So, if you guys would at least like a teaser on the day I’m supposed to post, I can do that!!

Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @anthemabby // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou​

[silentsockfeet]

my favorite moments from critrole c2 up to e22

marisha’s two nat20s in a row fighting against that monk teacher chick (e004)

fjord’s first dream and then the convo after when he makes his sword appear and disappear in his hand (e005)

when laura discovered the ipads fit in the dice tray (?) and then spent the next two minutes whispering instructions to marisha on how to fold the ipad case for it to fit, with bonus funnies of travis trying to fold it and then giving up lol (e006)

matt saying “the shaft curves to the right” and travis immediately looking to laura who’s giggling to the side while sam just goes “wow.” and then travis going “it normally curves to the left” and sam replies with “not from her perspective” the dick jokes in this show are so great (e007)

laura going from a hilarious explanation of drawing a dead baby manticore to talking to the traveler saying “i know i have friends now but if you want me to be alone so that you’ll be here with me i will” in the must gut wrenching way.. and then the traveler reaching out to her and comforting her i love it laura is so good (e008)

jester bribing that uhh one guy to get fjord a letter for the academy and then getting her backstory laura is just crushing it this ep (e008)

the completely botched bandit burglary (e008)

I AM OBSESSED WITH PUMAT SOL

marisha rolling two nat 1s in a row and dropping the dice down in front of laura and saying “laura put it in jail” (e010)

travis chucking cookies across the table to laura and ashley after they were giving him puppy eyes (e010)

nott trying to steal fjord’s letter and molly catching her (e010)

the follow up where fjord sets a trap for nott to find out why she’s rifling through his stuff and we get a hint of nott’s backstory. sam’s acting during that whole sequence was killer (e011)

nott’s “he’s MY boy” speech talking about how she cares for caleb (e013)

marisha accidentally misgendering nott saying “you caught him stealing your stuff” and sam, laura, and taliesin all going “her!” at the exact same time (e013)

everyone hitting level 4 right before matt banishes them from the table for narrative reasons so they’re all scrambling to grab their gear before leaving and laura just rushes back in going “you don’t roll a d20 for hit points sam!” in the most mom voice LMAO and then matt right after being like “i told y’all not to roll hit points til you get back smh” (e013)

liam saying “here come closer” so everyone leans towards him and right at that moment travis lets out just the biggest burp (e013)

ashley’s little welcome home party at the beginning of ep014 🥺🥺

molly’s backstory just turns out to be the plot of nona the ninth?? (e014)

molly explaining his tats and then marisha pulls out a blindspot reference and says “hey patterson can’t you help with this” LOL (e014)

matt introducing a giant acidic jello cube (???) as a boss fight and then proceeding to make the most uncomfortable squelching sound effects for it (e015)

laura, pregnant: i’m not supposed to have tuna *takes another bite of her tuna mac and cheese salad casserole thing* (e017)

then later matt describing a woman who’s hair grows past “the chest area” and laura goes “hahaha the chest area” and matt’s like “i’m trying to be respectful what do you want me to say!! ‘her heaping bosom’ ??” and taliesin takes her bowl away and says “i think you’ve had enough, it’s making you weird” (e017)

travis rolling THREE nat1s in a row trying to play some fucking carnival game, culminating in yasha and jester chucking fjord across a field (e017)

caleb revealing his backstory to beau and nott and both of them comforting him. i liked that beau was still kind of abrasive with it but still empathetic and nott basically said “it’s not up to me to forgive you it’s up to yourself to do it” (e018)

beau and jester starting a fight in the gentleman’s bar for literally no reason other than because they thought a fight club was cool and then beau going absolutely ham on jester (e019)

caleb casting scorching ray on a troll and nearly killing beau in the process, then liam joking about it later saying “caleb always knows what time it is, but liam likes to burn his friends” and then sam saying “caleb burns his friends too” 💀💀 (e020)

liam’s metal die getting stuck to a magnet and then marisha discovering that her gil die is also magnetic and gets excited by it and then the pop up on the side of the screen changes to say “magnets: how do they work” LOL (e020)

I LOVE KIRI THAT IS MY CHILD

poor laura continuously rolling badly throughout a big fight and getting so upset about it that she has to leave the table yelling “i’m pregnant!” as she storms off 😭😭 bad rolls and pregnancy hormones cannot be a good mix (e022)

and then rolling bad AGAIN after the fight trying to heal everyone and she’s just like half shrieking in anger and travis yells at her THINK OF THE BABY (e022)

laura saying ashley’s little “okay okay okay” and then kiri repeating it later on and ashley watching on like 🥹🥰 (e022)

the pop up on the side of the screen that said “fun with manacles: [redacted]” LMFAOOO (e022)

[dent-de-leon]

Thinking again about...how Lucien was always so insecure about his blood hunter scars, how he tried to hide them when he saw his sister again for the first time in years. Ashamed of the things he'd done just to survive, to earn enough coin just to have a chance at a future with his family again. The scars are a constant reminder of everything he's sacrificed, the pain he puts himself in again and again, desperate to prove himself "worthy."

For as much love as Lucien still holds for Aldreda, his very presence on her doorstep is perceived as a threat to the tenuous peace and life of comforts she's fought so hard for. "Who knows what kind of danger you've brought to our doorstep just by coming!" Aldreda's own brother is utterly unrecognizable to her, another awful reminder of the tragic past they shared--one she's desperate to forget.

"It's too late, Lucien. It's too late. Maybe years ago, I don't know...I can't think properly. Just looking at you stirs up such evil feelings in me. It isn't fair, I know, but it's true. I look at you and I smell smoke, I hear distant screams, I see again our brother's face leering, bloated with unnatural life."

Lucien is the last remnant of their life in Shadycreek, a bad memory she wants to burn away. He joined the Claret Orders as a means to provide for himself and his sister, to get by. He even romanticized the Orders at first, fancying the life of a heroic monster slayer--finally having the power to kill the hag that preyed on their family, that nearly carved him out into a hollow puppet. It's tragic, because everything he's ever done as the Nonagon, it was all out of desperate hope to one day bring his family back.

And even before that he was spiraling, digging himself deeper into his own grave, pushing away everyone he ever loved because it was the only way he knew to keep them safe.

Lucien's blood hunter past also made him painfully aware of the fact that people will always see him as an outsider--the Claret Orders carry a threat of danger, violence, fear--every horrible thing Lucien ever tried to escape. When he's so taken by the Solstryce Academy, lost in daydreams--"It was a sight to take even the most jaded boy's breath away"--his fantasy of studying magic is utterly shattered by the pain of his scars. For him, magic is only ever pain, it's all it's been all his life. And there's no escaping it.

Most heartbreaking of all, when Lucien finally has just a moment to reach out to his infant niece--so gentle with her, so very careful and full of so much love for this child he's only just met--all it takes is one look at his scars, and Aldreda tears away from him. "I don't even know you." For all he's sacrificed, Lucien is cast out by his own family. All that's left is the pain he carries.

And for as cavalier as Molly is, despite how quick he is to brush off the nein’s questions and curiosity with a joke, it’s clear he’s just as unsettled by his own power. When he accidentally activates his Rite of the Dawn for the first time in Alfield, Taliesin describes him as sitting along with a drink and, “having a mild nervous breakdown” afterwards.

And the very first time Molly ever used a blood hunter ability? He was so scared, so terrified of letting anyone else find out. The one person he confides in is Lestera, and it’s only with her reassurance and gentle coaxing that he is willing to open up to Gustav.

Just thinking about…Molly looking so anxious and scared, how even trusting Gustav with this is nerve-wracking for him. How Molly said part of the appeal of a traveling circus was staying on the move, avoiding scrutiny. “A lot of this was in the hopes that maybe it would never happen—keep moving, keep quiet.” Spinning story after story and lie after lie to bury any trace of Lucien.

Molly activating his blood powers for the first time and mourning the charmed little happy circus life he has—living in fear of that haunting past he’s so desperate to escape. “Maybe it’s from…before? I haven’t noticed it until now. I don’t…I don’t want it to complicate things.”

And just…little moments when the Nein see through Molly’s carefree facade and try to chip away at the cracks. Caleb asking if Molly has been with the circus all his life, casually acknowledging that he knows it’s all a lie—“You have a lot of scars.” Caleb, who always hides his own scars and never stops running from the past. Caleb who takes one look at Molly and can tell at a glance that they’re more like than they seem, that Molly is also someone who knows pain and loss and regret so deeply. He can tell right away what Molly is, that they’re one and the same—shattered souls aching for a new start.

Thinking of how Lucien stood on Aldreda’s doorstop with his heart in his hand, begging her to give him a second chance. How she cuts him off and shuts him out of her life forever, looks him in the eye and tells him he’s too much of a danger.

How Molly is forced to tell the Nein everything, wholeheartedly believing they’ll abandon him as well. But even when everything is dragged out in the open, the Nein don’t abandon him. And Caleb, as much as he struggles with trust, with breaking down walls and letting anyone else in—he offers Molly the very salvation and hope for a second chance that Caleb himself has always longed for.

“I am a little concerned about, you know, loose ends…However—I believe in second starts, and that’s enough for me. I am satisfied, Mollymauk Tealeaf.”

“This is not how I expected this to go…Thank you—”

[tooti-fruiti]

WALTEN FILES THEORY

Some people are trying to decide who or what "Bon" is.

I personally believe "Bon" is a demon.

Demons can't give away their real names because that would give power to the person (or people) who knows their name.

So this demon goes by the name "Bon". (Which would explain the quotation marks)

"Bon" also does some really fucked up things in the name of "beauty".

As he says "you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs."

Now some people think "Bon" is Jack Walten's ghost. Which can't be the case, because as of right now, Jack is still alive.

(I know this because of the little scavenger hunt Martin Walls made called Find Jack Walten. And in that scavenger hunt it says something along the lines of "Jack is not dead. He is still alive. Find him.")

And I saw a theory that said "Bon" is the embodiment of Jack's anger and sadness. Which is an interesting theory, but doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

"Bon" isn't an embodiment of rage. If he was, he wouldn't be taking the time to try to comfort Susan into her new life as Banny.

I also think that if he were an embodiment of rage and sadness, he wouldn't be talking about making the people he's killed beautiful."

For the longest time, I thought Bon was Felix. I thought that Felix drove himself crazy because he accidentally killed Edd and Molly, ended up killing himself, possessing Bon, and killing everyone who knows or is affiliated with what he did.

Which would explain the scene in Walten Files 3 where Bon is kind of shaking while flashes of Edd and Molly surround him.

But now that we know Bon is possessed by someone who calls himself "Bon", it makes everything more complicated.

I'm happy we know who's possessing Bon now because we've been wondering that for years.

But that does make the aforementioned scene a little confusing.

Unless this demon is somehow affiliated with the Walten Family, I don't understand why Bon would shake around like that and then hide in his hands at the death of Edd and Molly.

Maybe the original plan was for Felix to be Bon when Walten Files 3 released.

But then as years passed, maybe the story changed just a little bit because that can happen.

And Martin Walls decided to go in a new direction with Bon and who's possessing him.

But then again, maybe not. Because we can see "Bon" possessing Bon in the first episode.

The eyes we see in Bon in The Walten Files 1 are "Bon". (It's also worth mentioning that I don't think "Bon" likes light)

(Another small thing I wanted to add is that in the Walten Files 3, during Susan's death, we see Bon with his hand right in her face. Which is a really cool detail because in the next episode, we see Bon reach for Susan's face to mutilate it [or it could be when Bon goes to snap Susan's neck because we see a similar frame there as well])

(Another thing that has nothing to do with this. The song that plays when Ashley is killed is called "Ashley's happy hour" which implies that it took an entire hour to dismember her and stuff her into Billy. However, in a discord server that Martin Walls made, he said that he thinks during Ashley's death, when she saw Bon, she passed out and woke up 30 minutes later to being torn apart. So she didn't suffer the whole hour which sounds better than being tortured for an hour)

(One more thing, when Sophia plays Spot the difference, there's one picture of Billy plays with a car. In the second picture, there's two red figurines and Billy is holding a black one. Which makes me believe that Felix is the shadow man)

Also I think "Bon" knows who he wants to put each person inside. Susan for example has a long face kind of like Banny. Charles kind of looks like Boozoo. Rosemary has hair like Sha. And Ashley kind of had hair like Billy.

I don't know, I just woke up and my brain is fried.

I'll make another post in a few minutes showing all the secrets I find in each episode

Please let me know what you guys think in the comments

[gamerwoo]

hansol/mingyu: the lovers playlist

characters: mingyu x female reader (mentions of hansol x female reader)

genre/warnings: idol au, friends to ????, one-sided pining, a smidge of angst but mostly fluff, mingyu is so stupidly in love it’s insane, a lot of time skips with no mention of how much time has skipped lmao i’m so sorry

word count: 3,248

summary: so i’ll just tell my telephone all of the above when i’m alone

a/n: things in bold italics are song lyrics

previous song | next song | back to playlist

“Do you ever hear a song that you forgot existed and you just know it’ll be on repeat for the next two weeks?”

Mingyu gave you a strange look, sitting across from you at a table at some burger joint the two of you pulled into. Actually, it was your idea. You reached out to him, and he was kind of shocked.

i’m keeping the promise 😋, was what your text read when you asked him to grab lunch.

Honestly, he wasn’t confused by your question -- he saw the way you sat up straighter when the beat kicked in, like you were trying to get closer to the speakers in the ceiling to listen to the music -- but more so confused by why you would listen to only one song for so long.

“You have no idea what I’m talking about,�� you realized with a laugh as you saw his eyebrows knit together, looking like a confused puppy.

“I’m trying to,” he promised with a chuckle.

Despite not getting your need to play one song over and over again even after you tried to explain, like the lovesick simp he was, he found that exact song and played it on repeat for you whenever he saw you.

-

I’d like to know your middle name; Let’s talk about your parents and your future dreams.

“You did this on purpose.”

Your playful glare was on Mingyu, who merely grinned proudly and announced, “Yup!”

“You said you didn’t get it,” you reminded him.

He shrugged, “That’s okay. I don’t need to get it to listen to it.”

“You’re gonna keep it on replay?” you scoffed.

“Why not?”

As if he didn’t listen to it alone at home until he knew what the lyrics were.

“So, _____,” he continued as he stretched out comfortably on your bed, arms going behind his head as he laid back on the headboard, “why don’t you tell me about your middle name and your parents?”

You gave him a look that was something along the lines of an annoyed ‘are you serious?’ or a ‘shut the fuck up’ with a small eye roll, but you shifted at the other end of your bed and replied nonetheless.

“When did you become an English major?”

“If I’m gonna listen to this song a billion times with you, I may as well know what it’s about,” he stated in a ‘duh’ tone.

Very good save, he told himself, It’s not because I’m in love with you or anything.

After another, more dramatic eye roll, you replied, “You don’t need to know my full name, and my parents are a teacher and a vet tech who live in some tiny town and own a tiny yappy dog to replace me while I’m gone.”

“Yeah, you’re basically the same thing,” he deadpanned.

You grabbed your stuffed bear that had ended up on the floor when you and Mingyu climbed onto the bed, and threw it at him. He let out a loud laugh as he held up his hands so he didn’t have to take it to the face.

“Do I at least get to know the dog’s name?” he asked, still laughing.

“Molly.”

“So you’ll tell me your dog’s name but not your middle name?” he sighed, feigning sadness.

“You don’t actually care,” you scoffed, “you’re just trying to be a smartass.”

“I do care!” he insisted, looking straight at you so you would know he wasn’t joking or lying.

You didn’t know that Mingyu actually did want to know everything about you.

After a few seconds of just studying him, you sighed and relented.

Mingyu’s smile slowly grew when you told him, testing your first and middle names on his tongue. He liked how it flowed. He liked saying it. There was something kind of intimate to him knowing your second name.

“You’re so annoying,” you giggled. “Are you not gonna ask me about my future dreams?”

“Your dream wasn’t to become an idol?” he asked, cocking his head slightly to one side.

“Originally it was to be a cowboy,” you explained, earning a belly laugh from him. “But I still have other dreams. Do you not have, like, dreams for your future? Getting married and having a family and stuff?”

“Ohhhh,” he nodded, finally understanding what you meant. “Yeah, I think about that stuff. I’ll get married and maybe have a few kids.”

“Would you travel or are you sick of it now?”

“I’d want them to experience the world, too, I think,” he mused. “There’s too many beautiful places and things to experience, and I want to provide them the opportunity to do all that.”

“I still haven’t been a lot of places,” you said. You realized that Mingyu had kind of been everywhere and you hadn’t really been many places compared to him. “I still have to discover all that, which is kind of exciting.”

‘I’m interested but distant to a fault, and I’d never want to complicate your heart.’

His immediate thought was to show you those places. Replace the faceless wife in his head with you, bringing you and your two kids to all the amazing places he’s seen thus far in his career. 

Relax, he reminded himself with a deep breath that you didn’t catch as you rambled about how traveling was scary but exciting.

This was only the fourth time you’d hung out together since that night after the ball, and the third time since the wound re-opened when Hansol and Ivory went public. Of course you wouldn’t be ready for any sort of romantic thing. And yet, here Mingyu was, becoming delusional for absolutely no reason.

He should be thankful you even reached out. At least, that’s what he told himself. He knew how you felt about wanting absolutely nothing to do with Hansol or what happened, so it was a miracle you invited him over, especially after already asking him out for burgers to “keep the promise.”

"Gyu?” you saying his name brought him out of his thoughts. “You good?”

“Um...” he hesitated, wondering if he should even say anything, but now he was feeling guilty. “Can I actually ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You’re not...forcing yourself to hang out with me because of our conversation on the car, right?” he wondered slowly and quietly. “I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. If you really don’t want to be friends, I can handle it.”

It would hurt, but he would stay away if you really wanted. He’d get over it eventually.

...Probably.

You let out a sigh and looked down at your lap, picking at your nails, “It’s... Okay, so, yeah, it kind of sucks because of, like...everything. But I also do have fun with you, so... I dunno, I guess I just have to get over the Hansol thing eventually.”

“But I don’t wanna rush you or force you or--”

“Mingyu?”

He stopped talking, just watching you with his mouth half-open. The look you gave him was one that told him you didn’t want to talk about the matter anymore.

“I’m fine. It’s fine,” you promised. “Can we drop it?”

-

I talk a lot but we could fill your frames with pictures of our faces 'til we share a name.

“I’m begging you to shut that song off,” Soonyoung whined.

“And to shut the fuck up for a second,” Minghao sighed in annoyance, kneeling a few feet away from where you, Mingyu, and Soonyoung were leaning back against the pier railing while he snapped some photos. “Your mouth is open is literally all of these. You don’t need to hear your own voice all the time.”

You learned quickly that Mingyu was constantly talking. Currently, he was on a rant about which place on the pier was the best place to get pizza, and that stemmed from a story about going to the beach with Seokmin, which stemmed from wind blowing sand into Minghao’s face. He really knew how to get sidetracked over and over and over.

“If he closes it, he’ll die,” you told him.

Mingyu frowned and glared at you, “I’m not a mouthbreather.”

“And I’m not your journal but you talk like I am,” you shot back with a shit-eating grin.

Mingyu mimicked you with a sneer so you did it back.

Honestly, Mingyu was nervous inviting you out with some of the other members. He kept reminding you that you could say no, but you figured you’d been fine with Mingyu thus far so what was the worst that could happen? He knew better than to invite Hansol, and you figured his friends were smart enough to not bring him or what happened up.

Well, except maybe Soonyoung, but he was doing good so far.

“Okay, I’m over this,” Soonyoung reached around you to Mingyu, ripping away the small bluetooth speaker that was clipped to his jeans and powering it off. “Five times is enough for one song.”

To be fair, you were the one who was playing it this time.

“Can you guys please look less like you hate each other?” Minghao asked.

“We’re fine,” you shrugged, gesturing between you and Mingyu. Then you shot your thumb toward Soonyoung to your left. “It’s this one who’s being a party pooper.”

“Then leave, Soonyoung.”

Both you and Mingyu burst into laughter, causing Minghao to smile at his own statement. Soonyoung looked appalled as he slowly started stepping out of the frame, looking at the younger boy with a mix of confusion, offense, and anger.

“Are you kidding me?” he demanded. 

Before he got up to run away, he snapped a photo of you and Mingyu laughing together.

You didn’t get to see the photos until later when Mingyu was dropping you off. Minghao texted them to you and in the middle of yet another Mingyu tangent, you cut him off to coo at the photos.

It was perfect timing because he just pulled up outside your building, so he leaned over to look.

All of them were kind of a mess. Mingyu’s mouth was open in most of them, or Soonyoung was blinking, or your hair was blown in your own face or one of theirs -- actually, there was a photo where it was both.

It wasn’t until you scrolled to the last one that you let out a laugh from how cute it was. You and Mingyu stood beside each other, you half-bent over and Mingyu holding the railing behind you to stay up as you both laughed toward the camera but not directly at it.

“Shut the fuck up,” you squealed as you immediately went to make it your new lockscreen.

And for once, as Mingyu watched you change a photo of the two of you to your lockscreen, he was at a loss for words, his heart thumping in his chest the only sound that came from him.

“Honestly, I was getting kinda tired looking at my group,” you said absentmindedly as you looked at your new lockscreen. “It was us for a loooong time.”

“What was it before?” he wondered in a murmur.

You looked over at him with a ‘you know who’ look.

“Oh...”

“Yeah...” you sighed.

“Do you think you’re still in love with him?”

Mingyu blurted the question. In classic Mingyu fashion, he just spoke without a filter. He never stopped speaking. You didn’t really expect anything less.

“Wait, that was--”

“No, it’s fine,” you interrupted. “I think...yeah.”

“Yeah...” he mumbled, his mouth going to one side of his face. “I mean, love takes a while to get over.”

You looked over at him, “Have you ever been in love?”

He gulped but hoped you didn’t notice.

“Yeah.”

“You’re single, right?”

“Yeah.”

“How long did it take you to get over it, then?” you wondered, hoping for some advice.

“Honestly? Um...” Mingyu took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to come up with an answer that wasn’t too suspicious. “Honestly, I’m not. I’m just...trying.”

“To be with her?”

“Sort of. I just want to be her friend right now.”

You nodded slowly, “So you’re not friends now?”

“We kind of are. I think.”

You laughed softly and shook your head, “Okay, well, let me know how that goes.”

“Yeah, I will.”

-

I’m living on a target and you shot it with an arrow; Now I lost my self-control, I can’t stop thinking and I’m thinking that I’ve lost it.

Mingyu watched you move around your bedroom as you mumbled the words to yourself mindlessly. You were supposed to be putting away the few pieces of laundry scattered across your floor that you were too lazy to put away, but you were clearly getting distracted.

To be fair, it was his fault. He randomly asked if you wanted to hang out since he finished his schedules early, and you still had a couple hours before your own so you didn’t plan on cleaning until you got home.

Instead of planning accordingly and spending time to get ready, you decided to hang out with Mingyu. But that was okay because Mingyu was supposed to be getting an early night’s sleep since he had to wake up early for recording the next morning.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked suddenly.

You paused what you were doing, looking at him to silently let him know he could ask whatever he wanted.

“Why didn’t you just say no if you were busy?” he chuckled even though he was getting butterflies just knowing you let him come over when you had things to do. It made him feel important; like you wanted to see him that badly.

You shrugged and countered with, “Why didn’t you go home to sleep?”

“I will always readily admit I have back self-control issues,” he stated.

“And who said I don’t?” you scoffed.

The butterflies only got worse. You couldn’t say no to him?

Was he getting delusional again? Absolutely.

Was there any coming back from it? Probably not, but at least he was self-aware.

All these aisles feel like miles; Where you go, I'll follow.

Finally, you grabbed your Switch controllers and went over to your bed, sitting beside him against the headboard and handing him one. 

“So why do you have nighttime schedules?” he asked as you started up Mario Kart.

“Soey insists we sound better at night, so we’re recording at night instead,” you explained. “Since she’s the one with the music degree, we all just kind of listen to whatever she says, I guess.”

“Won’t she ream you for not, like, warming up and stuff?” he chuckled, recalling you talk about how Soey could be when it came to music.

“I can drink tea and play Mario Kart at the same time,” you decided as you got back up from the bed. “I could probably also get Taehyung to distract her or something. You want anything?”

“I’ll just come with you,” he said as he put down the controller and climb out of bed with you.

Mingyu shuffled behind you like a puppy as you led him to the kitchen. Along the way, a few of your members that were hanging around the dorm were greeting him like normal. It had become common for you and Mingyu to hang out, and while it took some warming up for some of the girls, they liked having Mingyu around. Plus, he sometimes made them food.

When you first started hanging out with him, you got the third degree hard. You knew it was just because your friends cared about you and didn’t want you falling back into your awful depression, but it was also kind of annoying that they suddenly wanted to be protective when it felt like they wanted you to get over the whole Hansol thing already. 

But now, it was almost like Mingyu was the thirteenth resident of the dorms. Half the time, if you were somewhere, Mingyu was bound to be there, too.

“Your shadow’s gotten taller,” Mori joked as the two of you passed her in the kitchen.

“If he’s my shadow, you think Soey will be pissed if he ends up at the studio later?” you asked jokingly.

“Wouldn’t put it passed the two of you for him to end up there.”

Mori looked up at Mingyu with a knowing look, and Mingyu just shrugged, cheeks turning pink, “At least I’d be there on time for our session tomorrow.”

-

I know we only just met so why do I feel invested? And do you feel it too? Do you feel it too?

Mingyu finally understood what it was like to want to listen to the same song on repeat. Because that was how he felt about this song. It was the perfect song for his situation. How he fell for you instantly. How he was trying to be respectful while you healed your heart. How he had gotten so attached to you and had begun wondering if you could or would ever feel the same for him. Whenever he heard it, he thought of you, and he never wanted to get you out of his head to he just kept it on.

I could be your best yet; Future favorite regret; Do you feel it too? Do you feel it too?

He watched you, drunk and borderline unhinged, as you passionately sang along to the song in his bedroom. Most of the members had gone out for a night of drinking, and while he invited you, you decided you wanted to stay home so he offered to stay in and drink.

And boy, was he glad he did, or he wouldn’t witness you using his hair mousse as a microphone so you could sing his newest favorite song at the top of your lungs while you jumped on his bed.

I've gotta let you know that I think that I love you so.

It was so hard to not be hopelessly in love with you, especially in moments like this. Moments where you were goofy and unapologetically weird. Moments where you did whatever you wanted and just acted so you. Moments that were rare for the rest of the world to see. Moments that were just for him.

You could be my only one; I've gotta let you know.

You’d come so far from when your heart was first broken, and the more time he spent with you, the harder it became for him to not say anything. Even if you denied him, he wanted to tell you. This must’ve been how you felt when you wanted to confess to Hansol. He wanted to do it so badly that he thought he’d throw up.

But now wasn’t the right time. Not while both of you were drunk. Not while he was still even a little bit unsure if you were over Hansol.

So I'll just tell my telephone all of the above when I'm alone.

In the middle of him laughing loudly and shouting along with you, his phone buzzed on his lap. He picked it up to see it was Minghao texting to see how things were going. Wanting to know if his alone time with you was going well or not.

At least he had his friends to talk to in the mean time so the word vomit wouldn’t make him explode.

So I'll just tell my telephone all of the above when I'm alone.

── « ⋅ʚ ♫ ɞ⋅ » ───

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[captainkingsley]

Visiting Caduceus is a nice break for Kingsley.

He enjoys the time he spends with the rest of the Nein, of course he does. But there are always slip-ups. Someone calls him Molly by accident or references something from before he can remember, and it always hurts. Like a sliver he can't quite get out, a sharp sting of pain he can't describe.

Caduceus doesn't see that. He doesn't even see Lucien, actually, which is another comfort. He's got more of Lucien's memories by now, slowly creeping in despite his best efforts to push them away. Not because he doesn't want them, but more so that they don't influence who he is, so they don't completely overwhelm him at once. Like Yasha and Beau both said, he needs to continue on a better path, not the one Lucien took a running leap off the cliff of.

The memories aren't bad, for the most part. They're helpful, when they come in small bursts. A quick thought of danger and how to avoid it, or memory of how to use a skill he'd previously not understood.

Molly's memories are less helpful. They hurt more. Like an unfinished story still begging to be told, filled with love and ache that won't find solace. Brushes of hands or a closeness he's not familiar with, or playful jabs when he's more than tipsy. Molly's memories make him uncomfortable, because the Nein look at him and see them, too, and he always wants to grab them and say he's not me, he's not me, stop trying to put those memories onto me.

But he doesn't. He's an asshole, but he's not going to ruin the memory of a dear friend to the Nein in that way. Instead, he rolls with the punches, jokes around with them, and keeps it all inside.

Except with Caduceus.

Caduceus, who'd come around after Molly, had never met him, and had only seen Lucien without any of the biases or ties the rest of the group had. He'd welcomed Kingsley back into the Grove with no issue, no comment on his past, just a simple gesture and a mug of tea.

He likes Caduceus. Likes his family, too — they're more family than he's ever had, himself. He distantly recalls Lucien's family, but the memories of that feel sour. What little he can gauge of Lucien's parents isn't good, and his siblings, well —

He'd woken up one night after remembering Aldreda saying there's no room for you in my life anymore, and the memory had felt haunting and painful.

And he doesn't like to recall Elric. Sometimes he wonders how Lucien ever slept with those hollow, blackened eyes staring at him.

"You've got that look again." Caduceus says, looking down at Kingsley who's currently sitting in the longer grass of the yard, near the pond. Caduceus has finished his portion of re-casting the temple blessing for the day — how he has the focus to do it for so long every day, Kingsley will never understand.

"What look?" Kingsley asks, innocent as can be. He even bats his eyes to throw Caduceus off. Caduceus, however, has learned to read him, even his lies, and he's not swayed.

"You're remembering things." Caduceus says. "Which one this time?"

Kingsley grumbles to himself for a moment, settling back into the grass.

"Lucien."

"Good or bad?"

"Weird, mainly."

"Care to talk?"

"Already am." Kingsley huffs. But he gives in after just a moment. "Only if you make some of that tea we had last time."

"I can't guarantee it'll be the same," Caduceus says, reaching down to help Kingsley stand once more, "But it'll be close enough. And something to heal the hurt."

"Booze?" Kingsley says. Caduceus laughs.

"No booze. Just tea and a bit of talk."

"At least feed me if you're not going to give me alcohol," Kingsley says, following as Caduceus heads for the repaired home — the last several months, Caleb's old friends have been coming by to work on the home and the surrounding yard. They've done a good job, though the work will only be completed once Caduceus has finished his year-long spell.

"I'm sure we've got something." Caduceus assures him, and they head inside together.

[seas1mping]

ReenaJack pt. 2

Summary: Christmas is always rough for LJ, but Reenas never celebrated it anyway. (Ft. Doll Kids)

Warnings: hurt/comfort, LJ has a mini panic attack, oc self insert (God that's so cringe righ), children??? If you don't like the idea of second generation you're wack but that's here too

Jack reached over to turn his wife's fourth alarm off—seriously, who needs that many alarms—and let his arm flop on top of her. She made a small noise before returning back to her peaceful slumber. Jack considered removing her alarms if she was just going to sleep through them all, when he was startled by her eyes looking right at him.

"You know," she started, "you don't have to turn them off yourself, I wake up on the second one just to see what you do to the third and fourth." Her cheeky smile ended her confession, the sleep in her voice still poking through, so obviously she lied about 'waking up on the second.'

His eye twitched. She wants to play a game so early in the morning? "Well obviously I'm going to turn them off, Lord knows you need the beauty rest." Reena gasped at him, grabbing the pillow under his head and raising it to hit him. "Sugar, you know I'm kidding! I would never say anything against you!"

Though, with the lack of an effort to defend himself, Reena still manages to snag him once with the pillow, hearing the rip of the fabric and pulling it away from him to see the stuffing on his sharp nose. "I know. I just wanted to do that." She sticks her tongue out before throwing the covers off and getting out of bed.

Reena sits at her vanity for a moment, Jack can see her staring at herself. Her brow creases as she itches at one of the scars on her shoulder. She grabs her hair brush and gets rid of her bedhead.

"So, Jack," this is never good, "I was wondering if you wanted to take the kids out to that Christmas thing out in the city. I think Molly said it was a parade? I don't know, sometimes it's so hard to tell with her accent if I say things right." Reena mumbles to herself, trying to find a good point between her hair and her bangs to put her horns.

It's not that Jack doesn't like Christmas, or that he doesn't want to spend time with the dolls—he hangs out with most of them constantly anyway—its the fact of what Christmas feels like to him.

A reminder that he failed the one duty he had because some idiot got the wrong hobby.

"Babe, are you seriously moping right now? This has to be a record for you."

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Reena, who was standing over him at this point talking in his face. "Hellooooo earth to Carny down there!"

She pulls him up from his warm spot, tossing him a shirt she got him. "I'm coming with you, I know how bad these holidays are for you. All it takes is one sentence and we can celebrate my people's version of Christmas."

"You don't even know what Christmas is." He scoffs, pulling on pants and clicking his suspenders on. Reena pouts at him, putting her earrings in.

"I do too know what it is! It's the day that you guys get together and show off how much money you have based on the number of gifts you buy each person!" She smiles. Reena was from Down Below, which is what normal people would consider 'Hell' due to its hotter temperatures and devolved society. Some of this world's historical aspects still seem to illude her, such as religion or certain human concepts (and also birds for some reason??)

Jack shakes his head with a smile that he quickly wipes off. "Sure, sugar, we'll go with that."

———

"WOAH!!! This place is HUGE!"

Reena laughs as her oldest son looks around at all the people lined across the busy intersection. They made sure to get a good spot in the middle so that they didn't have to disguise themselves too much. Reena and Jack stood behind their three little boys, Roman, Seth, and Randy, all on leashes, and scanned the area.

Roman was fascinated at the crowds that had formed, and the fact that everything in the real world was so LARGE. Roman was usually in the carnival helping Nari and the other dolls, so he wasn't out too much.

Seth had his headphones on, he clung to the front of Jack's pants quietly, he knew everything was going to be huge, but he didn't think it would be so loud.

Randy, the youngest and still wobbling around, kept yelling at everything. A bug on the ground? Randy has to get down and talk to it. A random dime? Randy has to pick it up and try to eat it. A piece of candy? Okay, that one came from Jack but Randy has to eat it, too.

Suddenly, the loud horn of the firetruck blared through the air, signaling the start of the parade. Roman and Seth were lifted to Jack's shoulders, where they balanced on his shoulder and hands, and Randy was less interested in the parade as he was trying to tangle Reena in his leash, in between mimicking the horns and sirens.

Reena looked at her husband, but it was very evident he wasn't having a good time. Not when everything reminded him of everything. The presents, the boxes, the fake snow, the gifts and candy being thrown at children.

The joy on the faces of all the kids when they get their prizes.

Jack looks back at Reena, with a strange softness, and whispers, "Please."

———

The bakery they stopped at wasn't completely empty, but it was good enough they could find a secluded booth for them all to sit at, the boys doodling on some kids menus they were handed before the waiter left.

"I'm fine, can we just go home?" He had been saying that since they left the immediate parade area. He blamed the boys, saying that Seth didn't like the parade and he didn't want to make him upset. Or that Randy was going to get tripped over and hurt. Or that Reena looked tired anyway and they should have left sooner.

"No, Jack, you're not fine, and I'm not going to let you pretend you are, I need to know what's going on so I can help you. I just want to help you, love." She goes to take the hand she can see shivering, but he flinches and pulls his hand away. He won't look at her, he's focusing on the table, focus on the table so you don't get pulled away from it all, focus, focus, focus—

"Hey, want to do something cool?" She taps him, and then points out the window. "Name me 5 things you see."

He rolls his eyes and looks at her, still shaking and unsteady. "I'm not doing this, Reena. I'm fine."

"Fine then. Three things, the boys don't count."

He huffs and goes back to looking out the window. "I see the cars driving down the road. I see the reflection of your purse in the window, and I see a billboard for Molly's jewelry." she hums, digging into her purse for something.

"Alright," there's a pop of some kind, "name me two things that you feel." His claws rub against the table, feeling the grain in the wood catch his claws sometimes.

"I feel the table. I feel my clothes." A snap, and another pop.

"Good job. Now name me one thing you taste."

"Reena, I don't taste anythi-"

As he goes to face her, she smashes her lips to him, kissing him like she's been wanting to do it all day, and making sure the grape scent and flavor of her lip gloss gets all over him. When she is happy with herself, she pulls away, sneaking one last peck and smiling at him. "Now, what's one thing you taste?"

He licks his lower lip, smiling slightly, his cheeks obviously darkened. He knows the boys are protesting this DISGUSTING display of affection in public nonetheless. But he leans into his wife, who's redder than he is.

"I taste that new lip gloss I got for you a while ago. Always wondered where you put it."

She giggles, pushing him back and leaning on his arm. "I was waiting to surprise you with it, thought it would be a funny thing. Never knew it would be used as a grounding technique."

Jack nods in defeat, she's won this battle, but there's definitely more to come.